#the fact I actually own one of these đ
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Giiiiirrrrrl, I'm back. Finally đ
(It's been awhile lol We need to catch up in dms đ)
I was so excited to get into this story, this universe, this character, and, most of all, your immaculate writing đ€đ (I finally caught up on all things Tracker, so nothing is stopping me from devouring this deliciousness now đ)
First of, Professor Goldstein is a piece of work... đ I wouldn't blame her for spitting into his coffee every time he calls her sweetheart. But Russell, I see you. She's gonna be so annoyed with him đ
As a Professor of History with two doctorates in your name
Ooooh, another professor character paired with some rugged Mountain Man đ I'm addicted to those couples. She's all business up front, and he's all party in the back (seat of his Chevelle) đ€Ș
âIâm sorry, Iâve got to run. Meeting my massage therapist at noon,â he said
UGH. The nerve!!!!! Massage therapist????? How about I step on your back with my high heels, bro...
And then to go on about his trip and parasailing... Guess it's true. Ignorant people are happier đ
Why, oh why did the Sciences building have to be on the other side of campus?
Or why are campuses so big in general? My university actually had several faculties strewn throughout the city. Sometimes it took an hour and several subway rides to get to your next lecture đ
and these heels were killing your feet.
She needs a pair of sneakers in her purse. Or rollerskates!!! One of those electric scooters? đ€ (Dory's or Russell's next Xmas present for her would be something like this after they listened to her complain for months lmao)
Goldsteinâs up my ass again and all Iâve had today is a crusty donut from the teacherâs lounge, which Iâm pretty sure was stale,â you said, with your brows furrowed in frustration.
Please tell me Russell's in the room when she said that đđ€
When you finally looked up from your struggles, you realized that Dory wasnât alone. She smiled at you in amusement, sitting at her desk beside a man who made you pause. Your eyes widened.
Yes, he is. Bahahahaha!!! đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
He's gonna love her đ
Dory had told you someâŠinteresting things about her family, including the fact that she had two older brothers.
Ooooh, right! I wonder how much she knows about the Shaws. Not something that comes casually up in the cafetaria I imagine đ
âSriracha on fries, huh?â you remarked, gesturing at the manâs plate. Your brow was quirked, but he shot you a smile. âI said avert your eyes,â he teased. âDonât knock it âtil you try it, sweetheart.â Ugh. Another sweethearting man.
Love this whole exchange. You're making my dreams come true, babe đ
âYou gave her some PTSD,â Dory said with a laugh.
Dead đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
His tousled hair and beard, while well-trimmed and neat, still gave him a roguish quality.
I keep thinking he probably has that look now because he was in the army for so long. Young Russell was pretty much young Dean Winchester in a uniform (hello there, soldier đ)
âGuilty. Though Iâm the handsome one,â he said with a wink.
Well... It's a toss-up, I'd say đ
You raised a brow at that. âYou make your own beer?â
In. His. Car đ©đ©đ©đ
âNext time Iâll bring you some. You can tell me what you think.â
If any strange man said that to you... đ©đ€Ł
âYou know, itâs amazing how much you and Colter have in common,â Dory said.
Well, at least, Colter has an Airstream đ
đ€·ââïž
His intentions couldnât be any clearer than a mallet over the head, but you kind of found it endearing.
He is a professional flirt. Kind eyes...
âSo youâre on board with a ânext time.â Good to know,â Russell remarked.
Dear God, he does not stop, does he? đ (On the show, I loved his persistence with Reenie too, even though it was mainly just to annoy Colter. But you captured him beautifully here with this sort of charm đ„°)
PS: schmutz, schlep... I love the sprinkles of Yiddish in this đ€
âAnybody ever tell you, you got soulful eyes?â he asked.
STOP IT! And he upgraded too!!! đ€Ł
Which only left the alternative: somethingâŠcasual.
I mean... Why not? đ€·ââïžđ€·ââïžđ€·ââïž I'm with her on this. Red flags be damned đ
I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS! Gah, this was fabulous! I'm hooked! đđ
Are they gonna stay casual? Something about her brooding and reluctance tells me it's not usually her style? Which means, will he eventually settle? Get out of the dangerous hitman-nomad life? And then there's the stories about their respective families. We already know some about Russell's. How is she gonna react if she learns everything? And there's something odd about her private life as well. Can't wait to dive into that bombshell đ
Zep, my sweet genius Alex, you've outdone yourself once again. Bravo!!! đđđ
A Line and a Half
Pairing: Russell Shaw x F. Reader
Summary: When Doryâs eldest brother comes to visit her at Wyoming University, you donât know quite what to make of Russell Shaw. But he knows exactly what he wants to make of you.
AN: Okay, hereâs my first toe-dip into the world of Tracker with Russell Shaw! 1x12 gave me too many ideas not to explore this intriguing character. This is set before episode 12, but I have a little series I want to sketch out that will continue after this one-shot, so think of this as a âPart 1,â if you will. đ
Word Count: 3.2K
Tags/Warnings: A kind of âmeet cute,â attempts at flirting, and hints of setup for more to comeâŠ
You watched, silently simmering, as Dr. Goldstein added yet another packet of internship applications from his graduate students onto your desk.
Applicants that he, as the History Department Chairman, was supposed to review himself. Instead, heâd been adding these hours quite literally onto your desk.Â
âIf you could review these for me as well, sweetheart. Thank you,â he said. âGet âem back to me by Thursday, okay?â
As a Professor of History with two doctorates in your name, you once again grated internally at sweetheart, but you tried to keep that cringe off your face as well.
Goldstein barely even met your eyes when he dropped off his burden, and then aimed to leave your office.
âUh, Paul,â you called out, raising a finger. You stood from your desk as quickly as you could in your pencil skirt, but the man was already out the door. You followed him out, your heels clacking on the tile floor.Â
Damn it. Knew I shouldâve gone with pants, you said, continuing to hasten after your boss.
âPaul! Just a second,â you said. That finally managed to turn the manâs head off of his phone. He glanced at you while checking his watch.
âAbout the internship applicationsâŠand your midterm exam essays for that matter. Donât you thinkââ you started to say, but the man spoke over you.
âIâm sorry, Iâve got to run. Meeting my massage therapist at noon,â he said, and rolled a seemingly stiff shoulder under his tailored blazer. âSomethingâs just not right here after my trip to Cali last weekend. I donât know what I did, pulled muscle or something. But hey, they do say parasailing is a sport.â
You quirked a brow. âDo they?â
You werenât sure that being strapped into a parachute for a nice air glide over the Pacific counted as a sport.
Goldstein shrugged at your question and he kept walking down the hall. Though he turned back to toss you a pointed finger.
âNeed those by Thursday. Thanks, youâre the best,â he said.
You watched him go, as proverbial steam began to escape through your ears. Slowly you pivoted on your heels, and you went back to your office. You grimaced at the large stack of applications. You were pretty sure he padded them with an extra section of midterm exams.
Tapping your nails on your desk, you grabbed your phone next to your desktop and checked the time. 11:30 a.m.
Screw it. Iâm going to lunch, you thought.
Dory had to be out of her Intro Physics class by now, which meant sheâd be in her office, ready for you to drop in on her a little early. You took up your purse and almost made it out the doorâŠbut at the last moment, your anal brain made you turn back to grab a shoulder bag and the pile of applications. Maybe you could knock out a few during lunch.
Frigginâ doormat, as your brother would say. Laughing at you, probably.
You rolled your eyes and headed back out the door with your haul of papers, purse, work bag, and keys, locking your office behind you.
Why, oh why did the Sciences building have to be on the other side of campus?
It was damn near a mile walk from your Humanities building over to Doryâs office on the second floor. Your hands were laden with packets that couldnât be contained by your heavy work bag, your purse was slipping off your shoulder, and these heels were killing your feet.
It was a miracle you and Dory had ever met on this campus. On your first day of teaching, youâd of course been hopelessly lost. Somehow you ended up at the tail-end of one of her classes in one of the science auditoriums.
Sheâd been gracious enough to help you, and even walked you all the way to the Humanities building so you could find your World History class before the students decided to just get up and leave. (And after fifteen minutes, they very well would.)
That day, she became your first real friend at Wyoming University. In the three years since, sheâd become your best friend.
And now, her door was mercifully open halfway. You pushed it open and stumbled just a little from the transition of tile to carpet inside her office. Your papers nearly flew from your hands, so you struggled to right yourself and contain them all back into the semblance of neatness.
âHey, girl. You better be ready for lunch because Jesus fucking Christ. Goldsteinâs up my ass again and all Iâve had today is a crusty donut from the teacherâs lounge, which Iâm pretty sure was stale,â you said, with your brows furrowed in frustration.
When you finally looked up from your struggles, you realized that Dory wasnât alone. She smiled at you in amusement, sitting at her desk beside a man who made you pause. Your eyes widened.
He was leaning casually with an elbow propped up on her desk, dressed in jeans and a worn, pale green jacketâa good match for his eyes. He looked a little rugged for Doryâs tastes, but you couldnât fault her, with the cut of that bearded jaw, and the smile raising the corners of his lips.
âHey,â Dory laughed. âI see youâre having a good day.â
You bit your lip in embarrassment, probably smudging your lipstick.
âIâm so sorry. I shouldâve knocked first,â you said, though you could see she seemed to be having an actual good day. Office picnic? Or maybe the handsome stranger was getting ready to take her out.
Dory just waved you in. She stood and set a hand on her companionâs shoulder, and he got up along with her.
âItâs okay. This is my brother, Russell,â she said, and she introduced you in kind.
âWell, hi there,â he said. He subtly took you in with his eyes as he held out his hand. Already you felt your face heating up with more than just embarrassment.
You were a bit shocked as well, to say the least. Dory had told you someâŠinteresting things about her family, including the fact that she had two older brothers. You wondered which one this was, the middle child, or the eldest.
âHi! Sorry. Again. Nice to meet you,â you said. You tried to hold your hand out to reach his, but a few papers began to spill out. You clutched at them on reflex, but Russell drew in quickly to help you.
âGot yourself a load there,â he said. You agreed with an awkward laugh and a shrug of your shoulders.
âMy bossâs idea of extra credit,â you said wryly.
âYou can set it down on that chair over there,â Dory said, pointing to one against the back wall, next to a tall filing cabinet.
You and Russell meandered over and managed to set down the stack without casualty. You were able to pull up the straps of your bag and your purse from falling off your shoulder and give him a grateful look.
âThanks,â you said.
âNo problem,â he said, giving you an easy smile back. âI actually crashed in unannounced, so if you two wanna to head to lunch, you go right ahead.â
âUh, no. I havenât seen you in months! You should come with us,â Dory said. She grabbed her purse to join you and Russell by the door.
You raised your hands in placation. âOh, I wouldnât want to intrude, especially if itâs been a while since youâve seen each other. You guys should catch up.â
Dory shook her head and grabbed your hand.
âUh, uh. I want to hear the latest on Paulâs bullshit, and why youâre carrying half your office across campus. Letâs go,â she said, and gestured at your work bag. âLeave that here. Youâre gonna eat and talk to me. No working involved.â
You laughed, but you agreed to her cajoling. With another glance at her brother, and those green eyes that seemed to be dancing, you joined them for lunch.
The three of you ended up at a diner that you and Dory frequented at least once a week. The food was good, the service was quick, and it was close to campus. Wins all around. Russell seemed to be enjoying himself, as he hummed in delight after the very first bite of his Philly cheesesteak.
âSriracha on fries, huh?â you remarked, gesturing at the manâs plate. Your brow was quirked, but he shot you a smile.
âI said avert your eyes,â he teased. âDonât knock it âtil you try it, sweetheart.â
Ugh. Another sweethearting man. You narrowed your own eyes at him a bit. He caught the look and raised a hand in defense (the one that wasnât holding his cheesesteak).
âUh oh. Whatâd I do?â he asked.
âYou gave her some PTSD,â Dory said with a laugh. âDr. Goldstein likes to sugar coat his demands with sexism.â
Russell noted your souring look with apology. Youâd just finished recounting your morning for your friend, and recapping years of âsugar-coated demandsâ for Russell.
âWhy donât you just tell him to cram it up hisâŠuhâŠâ he paused. Seeing his little sisterâs look of amusement, he amended. âOr you know, stuff it.â
A smile twitched at your lips. âOh, believe me, Iâd love to tell him to stuff it. But heâs technically my boss, and the department chair. Even though Iâve basically been doing his job for two years now.â
âWell, that sucks,â Russell said. âAnd I feel for ya. Iâve had my share of shitty bosses in my time.â
You sighed and accepted his commiseration with a nod.
It wasnât fair, but Goldstein planned to retire early in a few years. Must be nice.
When he did, it would make you the most likely candidate to replace him as department chair. The way you saw it, this was giving you plenty of practice before you (hopefully) inherited the position.
Anyway, you shook your head. You didnât want to talk about it anymore. You were more curious about one Russell Shaw. You now knew he was an army vet, and he carried himself like one. Calm, controlled, even though his smiles came easy. His tousled hair and beard, while well-trimmed and neat, still gave him a roguish quality.
âSo let me guess. YouâreâŠthe eldest?â you asked. You blotted at your mouth with a napkin, having finished your chicken panini.
Russell treated you to another one of those smiles, though this one held a hint of more.
âGuilty. Though Iâm the handsome one,â he said with a wink.
You found yourself smiling behind your napkin.
âIâm sure,â you replied.
Dory rolled her eyes. âDonât mind him. Apparently my brotherâs an incorrigible flirt.â
He chuckled and sipped at his beer, but then he grimaced.
âEch. Frigginâ weak,â he said. âI brew better than this outta the trunk of my car.â
 You raised a brow at that. âYou make your own beer?â
âDamn straight,â he said. His gaze turned a hint more playful. âNext time Iâll bring you some. You can tell me what you think.â
You shared a telling look with Dory.
âNext time, huh?â you asked.
âSure,â he inclined his head. âI pop into town from time to time. Gotta check in and pester my little sister, the physics professor.âÂ
He laid a hand on Doryâs shoulder, squeezing warmly. You could see the pride in his eyes, and it warmed you as well.
She turned to him with a smile, reaching up to cover his hand with hers.
âYou donât pester me. Iâd love it if I got to see you more often,â she said.
âAh, I know, Iâm sorry,â he said, releasing her. âMy jobâs got me all over the place. But Iâll be here for a week or so on this gig.â
That intrigued you. âWhat do you do for work?â
âAh, well, you could say I'm a contractor. Private security mainly,â said Russell. His shoulders shifted as he became a little more guarded, you noticed. âMy company connects me with the client for as long as the job lasts. Could be a few months, sometimes a few days, depending.â
âOh, wow. Do you live here in Wyoming?â you asked. He paused, but tilted his head a little, back and forth as he considered your question.
âI kinda bounce around,â he said. âJust go from one job to the next. Sounds a bit unorthodox, I know, but itâs a living.â
âInteresting,â you nodded, but inside, you thought that sounded like a hard way to live.
UnstableâŠand lonely.Â
âYou know, itâs amazing how much you and Colter have in common,â Dory said. She folded her hands on the table and met her brother with a pointed look.
He huffed in response, though he glanced at you, then back at his sister. As if he was saying, You really want to do this now?
Dory had told you before that Colter was a ârewardist,â or some kind of bounty hunter. The nature of his work kept him busy, and seemingly too busy for his sister. But you also sensed there was an edgier history here.
For the first time, you felt like you were intruding in a moment between brother and sister that went beyond words.
After a moment, Russell shook his head.
âLook, I tried with him, all right? He wonât talk to me,â he said. He went back to eating, polishing off his fries. He offered you one that was half-smothered in sriracha.
âCome on. Live on the edge with me,â he teased.
You eyed the sauce-covered fry in distaste, but after glancing up at his more playful smile, you accepted his offer. You chewed in contemplation, and found that the tangy hint of kick wasnât so bad.Â
âEh? Eeeh? Delicious, am I right?â he said, his hands going wide.
You rolled your eyes, but you nodded in agreement.
âItâs all right,â you replied.
âYes!â Russellâs hands swept up higher, like he was celebrating a touchdown. "See, I told ya."
You couldnât help but laugh. Dory shook her head fondly and gave him a clean napkin for the bit of schmutz she spotted at the corner of his mouth.
âHere, wipe your sriracha face.â
âYou really donât have to,â you said, as Russell helped you gather your stack of papers and slung your work bag over his shoulder.
âNo, no. Iâm a bonafide gentleman. Ainât that right, D?â he asked his sister. She barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes again, but she did give you a knowing smile.
âOh, his intentions are pure,â she said.
 And by that, you both understood her meaning. His intentions couldnât be any clearer than a mallet over the head, but you kind of found it endearing.
This man really carried your stuff from the Sciences building across the entire campus to your office. All the while, he asked you about how you and Dory met, the kinds of things you two did together, and if you thought she was happy working here.
You had a feeling he was trying to learn more about his sisterâs life. On one hand, it was rather sweet. On the other, it made you realize that there was distance in this family, both literal and figurative. You were glad to hear that Russell, at least, was trying to bridge that gap with his sister. Dory deserved to have more of that in her life.
As you explained to Russell while you led him down the hall to your office, your friendship with her had justâŠclicked. From the very beginning.
âDory, you know. Sheâs more than kind,â you said. âSheâs a real one. I can rely on her, even when I canât rely on my own family.â
Russell hummed at that. âThat sounds like a story.â
âYeah,â you said, glancing away for a moment. You smiled and met his gaze once more. âMaybe one for another time.â
âSo youâre on board with a ânext time.â Good to know,â Russell remarked. Your smile deepened.
It was good timing when you two finally reached your office. You unlocked it and let him inside, so he could set down your bag, and the god-forsaken stack of internship applications back onto your desk. Youâd probably be stuck here working late on those.
âWell, thank you so much. You really didnât have to schlep for me,â you said.
When you turned, Russell was a bit close. Not uncomfortably so, but enough to make a trill of something zip up your spine. You smelled more intensely his cologne, woodsy and warm. Looking up at him, you once again found his smile.
âItâs no problem,â he said, but his eyes met yours for a moment, as if he lost his train of thought.
âWhat?â you asked, a bit nervous.
âAnybody ever tell you, you got soulful eyes?â he asked.
It took your brain a second or two to compute, but when his words registered, you had to laugh. You held it behind your hand, while the other went to steady yourself on your desk.
 âWell, thatâs a line if Iâve ever heard one,â you said, shading your âsoulfulâ eyes with a hand.
You didnât know it, but Russellâs face warmed in slight embarrassment. He recovered though, taking in your pretty laugh, and the shade of your hair, let loose around your shoulders, and yes, your eyes, when you let him see them again.
If he hadnât known before, now he was convinced.
He wanted to see more of you before he left town.
âHey, now that was 100% genuine,â Russell said, but his grin spoke volumes. When your mirth died down, he scratched the back of his head.
âOkay, cards on the table. Would you be interested in grabbing a drink with me sometime?â he asked.
You took in a breath at that. You actually did consider his offer, because homebrew and sriracha fries be damned, there was something more to him. It was lying in wait, behind those eyes that were drawing you in.
However, this was also a man whose job basically made him a nomad. It didnât exactly scream relationship material.
Which only left the alternative: somethingâŠcasual.
You just didnât know if that alternative was such a good idea. Not with your best friendâs brother.
âJust a drink. No frills, no more grilling you about my sister,â Russell said, breaking you from your deliberation. He gestured a hand between the two of you. âJust this. You and me.â
Eventually, you sighed. Your lips raised into a more genuine smile.
âSometime, huh?â you asked.
He smiled back. âTonight?â
You hesitated, but despite your better judgment, you nodded before you could change your mind. You still werenât sure what to make of this guy, but you were willing to find out.
âSure,â you said. âHowleyâs at eight?â
âWell, all right,â Russell said.
He surprised you by sweeping up your hand into his. You looked up at him, curious, but not wary. Anticipation tingled down your spine.
He pressed his lips to the back of your hand. Soft shock made your eyes widen as you blushed, feeling the subtle graze of his beard against your skin.
Who is this guy, Cary Grant? you thought.
But when he pulled away, you had to remind yourself to breathe. Again, you caught sight of his cheeky grin.  Â
âSee you tonight,â he said.
AN: He is beauty he is grace, he is Mr. Sriracha Face. đ
Let me know if you guys liked this! đ It's my first time writing a character based solely on one episode, but next up is a series that will continue this one-shot. It's called Every Second Counts.
Next Time in Part 1:
âAre you absolutely sure?â you asked, with your hands on your hips.Â
You wanted no miscommunication here, no read-between-the-lines mishaps, no subtext or nuance to bite you in the ass later. So here you stood in the middle of your best friendâs office, still on the Wyoming University campus after your last class.
Dory had to laugh at you. She pushed away from her desk and threw her hands up.
âYes, for the love of God, you can grab a drink with my brother,â she said.
â¶ïž Keep Reading: Part 1
Ko-Fi Me â
Russell Shaw Masterlist
Main Masterlist
Russell S. Tag List:
@kazsrm67 @letheatheodore @agothwithheavysetmakeup @jacklesbrainworms @foxyjwls007
@wincastifer @ades106 @iamsapphine @simpforbuckyb @roseblue373
@brianochka @branj19 @hazel-eye-coffee-shop-girl-blog @globetrotter28 @charmed-asylum
@waywardxwords @deanwinchestersgirl87 @this-is-me19 @rachiem4-blog @sweettimelady
@leigh70 @clinicallydepresso @xiphoidbones @skoveu @nyotamalfoy
@kmc1989 @jackles010378 @emily-winchester @waynes-multiverse @jessjad
@my-stories-vault @deans-spinster-witch @syrma-sensei @stellasfictionalworld @ultimatecin73
@jesllianaquilesrolonsworld @pieandmonsters @lhymer1995 @taehyungxjungkookistaekook @lovelystoriesaj
@nicksalchemy1 @spnwoman @onlyangel-444 @sexyvixen7 @illicithallways
@wolkenprinzessin007 @alwaystiredandconfused @carpenterswife @cheynovak @grilledcheeseandtomato
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What are your thoughts on poly coven and if you do have have any what would the dynamic be?
You folks really want that Agatha All Along fic about all the different dynamics, don't you? đđđ (Referencing this ask--although I suppose I have no way of knowing whether this is the same anon. Thank you for the ask regardless!)
I enjoy poly coven, although I haven't read much of it! In my mind, there are two general ways to approach this: one where Billy functions as their non-romantic glue (the Billy-has-seven-moms approach) and one (more interesting imo) where we nix Billy altogether and let it be a true dumpster fire.
Billy Has Seven Moms:
The single thing they all agree on (no one believes Agatha when she equivocates, and Rio doesn't snarl about it, which is as close to agreement as they'll get) is that the kid comes first.
Agatha and Jen both provide a practical kind of mentorship: technical magical study, potion-making, spells. They snark at each other during lessons ("What happened to 'presenting a united front'?" says Agatha) and if Jen doesn't back off, Alice, Billy, or Lilia step in to stop it from going all the way downhill. Agatha and Jen fuck it out later.
Lilia mentors Billy in history, tarot, and witch culture--all the soft skills that Agatha and Jen aren't proficient in. She enjoys the quiet respect that all of the coven, but especially Billy and Alice, holds for her. She and Alice trade off nights cooking; Lilia's go-to recipes are old Sicilian favorites.
Alice is Billy's Normal Stable Person (TM), a fact that at one point sends Alice into a panic spiral that Agatha and Jen have to drag her out of. She's the one Billy comes to when he needs someone who understands what it's like to be a kid on your own--when he's having a tough time with someone else in the coven, when he's feeling overwhelmed by the sheer number of mothers in his life. Alice teaches him guitar, and then, very hesitantly, protection spells passed down to her from Lorna.
Rio mopes around like a disgruntled housecat, never quite looking at Billy. The only time she does is when Billy announces he wants to make a Sharon Davis memorial garden. She doesn't help, of course, not in any way that Billy sees. But she does watch.
Of course, this well-oiled mentorship program works only as long as Billy is with them on the timeshare schedule. As soon as he's gone, it's like a ghost house with five roommates who hate each other's guts. If they still have separate places of residence, they all leave (except for the times when Jen is so annoyed with Agatha they bang first). If they actually do live in the same house, they all go into their separate rooms.
Then they seek each other out in pairs or trios, depending on what they want. Alice and Jen seek each other out when they want a normal date night; Rio seeks Lilia when she wants to talk shop about the old days; Agatha seeks Alice when it's been a hard day and she wants someone to be quiet about it. (Although let's be real: if Agatha's seeking someone out, it's also usually to fuck.)
Sometimes these pairs have a good time together; other times it turns into a fight that someone else cleans up. Lilia keeps count.
The only time the whole coven joins together sans Billy is when there's a threat. Usually to Agatha. Sometimes (futilely) to Rio. It always ends in massive property damage and murder, and there's an 80% chance the five of them have messy wow-we're-all-still-our-version-of-alive-sex afterward.
Agatha makes lots of divorce jokes.
No Billy, Just Chaos:
It's worse.
You know, I'm not even gonna bulletpoint this out because it's slowly growing into its own fic idea, but--in a poly coven where there's no Billy, everything happens a lot quicker and dirtier. (This is also because it veers wildly off-canon, and we're dealing with these characters before they've arced out. You know, the nasty, messy versions of them.)
Of course there's still got to be something forcing them together--soulmarks! Billy dies in episode 4 and leaves them in a crumbling Road illusion! The Salem Seven invade Westview and they all pick the same hiding spot!--but the thing keeping them together would not then be a kid. It would not be someone with a good heart they all care about. It would be one of Agatha's freakishly charismatic cons, utter fear, or a combination of both. Thus, everyone would spiral toward their most feral selves fast.
To wit: Jen and Agatha skip straight to the hate sex, Rio gets amused and jealous and jumps in. Alice, having no kid to protect, focuses her efforts on Lilia (the coven's elder) and Agatha (the coven's leader). This brings Alice directly into the snare that is Rio/Agatha/Jen, becoming--if we're being kind--their right hand and--if we're being truthful--their pet. Lilia considers herself above this weird fucked-up power tangle, but she and Rio have centuries of history, and Rio is almost as good as Agatha at annoying people into making bad decisions. It would be terrible. It would be glorious.
#agatha all along#agatha harkness#jennifer kale#alice wu gulliver#rio vidal#lilia calderu#ask#thanks for the ask anon!
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Ok hear me out⊠Negatus⊠wearing this:
(Pretty please)
Here comes the boiiiiii
#asks are still open#them there doodles#yonderland#ask and ye shall be answered#the fact I actually own one of these đ
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Glad to hear the tĂȘte-Ă -tĂȘte with Ted went as expected đ
Let's dive into this wonderful comment! đ€
Seeing a glimpse of their growing friendship in the first flashback scene was somehow both sweet and bittersweet, but of course, thereâs also that hint of âmoreâ on Beauâs side that heâs desperately trying to hide. đ
Definitely bittersweet đ Makes you really feel for Beau. What an incredibly tough situation to be in, honestly đ
Loll not the dad voice! So sweet that he tried to âcut her off,â even though he ultimately wasnât successful. Always more shit hitting the fan, isnât there? đŹ
Yup, and they both know it. They've picked a very hard job đ
But it's hard to resist the dad voice! But there's understanding on both sides. Beau, for sure, knows what it's like to be obsessed with a case đ
Thatâs what makes their situation all the harder â the fact that sheâs in law enforcement as well and understands this aspect of things all too well. đ° Itâs truly amazing that she and Beau were able to get past this hurdle and actually fall in love. It shows how forgiving she is, I think.
Yes, this đŻ And I definitely see her as forgiving. She knows who the real enemy is, and it ain't Beau. She knows even good people can make mistakes. Part of the job. Tragic, but it happens đ€·ââïž Plus, I think considering her own hidden feelings for him, she had an easier time seeing past all that.
HELP. Iâm deceased. đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł I was smirking/laughing throughout this entire exchange, but this in particular took me out! Ted has nothing but audacity. But at least the reader had Beauâs back on this one. đ
Glad that exchange made you laugh! I honeslty love writing those ridiculous scenes. This one reminded me somewhat of Ben vs. Colt in Rehab đ
I imagine Ted as some stuck-up, somewhat bougeois prosecutor that both Beau and Randy talked a lot of shit about behind his back. So Beau's not only offended she dated him for himself, but probably for Randy too đ€Ł
Ahh, nice that they had this heart to heart, and also this revelation. But while of course that really does nothing to soothe Beauâs guilt, at least it allows her to forgive him.
I saw this mostly as an attempt to soothe Beau's guilt. You can tell she was still a bit judgmental in her thoughts Ă la "Well, I, the genius, wouldn't have done it/seen right through it, but oh well, guess not everyone can be me..." đ
Eventually, she forgave him either way because she knows the risks and dangers of the job and that not every decision you make will be the right one in the end
LMAO Oh Beau. Youâre right, it is funny to imagine him saying âslimy coyote.â đ Bet this is what he wishes would happen to Ted:
Oh, he for sure wanted to Wile E. Coyote Ted đ€Łđ€Ł
Oooh what a declaration that is from her! The fact that Beauâs the best sheâs ever had, even including Randy, Iâm assuming. đ
Well, there's two options lol, right? Either she only said it to make him feel better, knowing his insecurities. Or, it's fully true and she decided to go for it. I honestly think it's the second. Beau seems to match her energy a bit better than Randy probably did đđ„
And Beau, sweet Beau, that was a beautiful rom-com worthy line right there. đ
Ikr? Imagine Carla hearing that! She'd be livid đđ But I enjoyed playing with the lines there of "first loves" vs. "true loves"
Ooh shit, Diane is certainly up to something. đŹđŹ
Oh boy, we all should be concerned! She might have some (deathly) surprises up her sleeve... đ
Polaris â Chapter 7
Series Summary: When Beau Arlen moved to Montana, he left behind a past he wasnât proud of. But when a series of murders requires the FBIâs help, Sheriff Arlenâs ghosts come back to haunt him one by one. With a wrong turn waiting at every crossroads, itâs hard to make the right choices and find his way back home â back to you.
Pairing: Beau Arlen x FBI Agent!Reader
Warnings: 18+, fluff, angst, serial killer, mentions of cartels, grief, smut
Word Count: 7.2k
A/N: The chapter where we find out why Ted is on Beau's punch list aka The One With Ted... đ
Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist || Tag List
Chapter 7: Storm Coming
May 2021
âI sold the house,â you said, your voice ripping through the quiet of the car during another starry stake-out night.
âSo youâre homeless now?â Beau joked and peeled his eyes away from the front window view and glanced at you from the driverâs seat, his hand resting on the steering wheel, the other one in his lap.
You chuckled. âYup, but I got a hot plate now in my motel room and one of those Italian moka pots. So, you know, some would say Iâm living the dream.â
Beau snorted in amusement before he pensively rubbed his mouth with two fingers. âYou didnât have to sell the house, you know?â
You heaved a sigh. âYeah, I kinda did, though⊠I didnât like staying in there anymore. Itâs just⊠too many memories, I guess? âSides, Iâm always down here anyways. Actually considering moving here.â
Beau frowned at you, his nose scrunching. âWhat, to Mexico? Are you nuts? Over my dead body are you doinâ that.â
âOh, Iâm sorry. I didnât know you had a say in it,â you retorted rather playfully and put a shocked palm on your chest in mock.
âDamn right, I do,â Beau scoffed his reply with a teasing grin. âWho do you think is lookinâ out for ya, huh?â
âWait, you think you are? Thatâs what you believe?â You snorted a laugh, entering banter territory with him.
It was usually how you passed your time during most of these stake-outs â laughing, teasing, and the occasional talking about your problems. Youâd never known Beau like this before. He was your husbandâs best friend, but he had been more of an acquaintance to you. Now, after months of spending close to every day together, it felt like he was your best friend. Since Randyâs death, heâd been there for you, even if it was mostly out of guilt.
âYeah, what dâyou think?â Beau countered challengingly.
âOh sweetie, youâre not looking after me. Iâm looking after you,â you stated confidently. The smile that twitched on his lips seemed to actually agree with you. âOut of the two of us, youâre the way bigger wreck. Some would even think itâs your husband who died, not mine.â
âAre you calling me a girl?â
You coolly shrugged your shoulders. âEither Iâm calling you a girl, or Iâm calling you gay. Iâll let you pick.â
Laughingly, Beau scoffed and muttered, âYou wish I was gay.â
However, you still heard his mumbled reply and responded, âActually, I wish you were a girl and that I was gay.â
Beau stared at you and leaned back against the door for a better view of you, his brow raised and the corners of his lips drawn slightly upwards in amusement. âWhat are we even talking about?â
âI donât know,â you admitted with a shake of your head.
The two of you then burst into loud laughter that filled the entire SUV. For a moment, all your sorrows and hardships seemed to be forgotten, carried away to the desert with the nightly breeze. Then, the familiar and comfortable quiet took over the car again.
âIâm moving out of the house, too,â Beau said, his eyes focusing on the barren landscape and desolate road ahead. âIâm giving it to Carla. I mean, she didnât ask me to. God knows she can take care of herself⊠But I want Emily to keep living in the home she grew up in, you know?â
âYeah, I get that. Thatâs really nice,â you said quietly. Your soft smile then morphed to a grin. âSo youâre homeless, too, huh?â
Beau laughed, throwing his head back into the seat. âYeah, guess I am. Maybe we should live together?â he suggested half-jokingly.
âLike roommates? Ugh, God no!â You scoffed in abhorrence. âWeâre way too old for that. Youâre over forty, Iâm barely in my thirtiesââ
âYou do know I know exactly how old you really are, right?â Beau teased.
You decided to ignore that jab and continued, unbothered. âIt would be seriously so sad. The Widow And The Divorcee â sounds like the worst sitcom on the planet. âSides, itâd be super awkward if one of us starts dating again.â
âFine, maybe youâre right,â Beau relented with a soft chuckle and then glanced at you sideways. His heart gained speed in his chest. âYou ever think about it? Dating? Gettinâ out there again? Been nine months.â
You twitched your shoulders, choosing not to look at him. âI donât know. Is nine months long enough after your husband died?â
Thoughtfully, Beau licked his lips and let out a small sigh. âI donât think thereâs a timeline, or a right and wrong. I just think itâs one of those things that when youâre ready, youâre ready.ââš âWell, consider me not ready then, I guess,â you replied honestly.
âAlright,â Beau accepted, bobbing his head. âBut I still think you should try again at some point, you know? You shouldnât be alone for the rest of your life. First of all, itâd be a total waste, âcause, I mean, look at you. And secondly, youâre barely in your thirties, after all,â he repeated your earlier joke with a soft grin.
You felt the heat creep to your cheeks in the moonlight. As you looked at him, you could see his smirk, making you laugh. âNoted,â you replied and were thankful for his pep talk. âI mean, thereâve been offers.â
Beau quirked one eyebrow, a hard lump forming in his throat as his chest tightened. âOffers? Like plural? Who?â
âWell, just some of the guys from our team. Cody, Jordan, TedâŠâ you named a few. âAlso a few locals. Remember those guys we played pool with a few weeks ago? Two of âem asked for my number.â
âHuh. That is pluralâŠâ Beau pursed his lips and couldnât keep his brow from wrinkling, his grip on the steering wheel stiffening. âWell, you know, when youâre not ready, youâre not ready. Shouldnât force anything. No rush, darlinâ.â
Smooth, Beau thought wryly with an internal sigh.
âRight, I know,â you agreed. âI do miss sex, though. Getting kinda bored of my vibrator.â
Beau choked on his spit. âJesusâŠâ
âWhat? Am I not allowed to talk about it? I thought we were friends. Youâre supposed to care about my well-being and happiness,â you argued, frowning.
âI do care. Just⊠Can we please not talk about that?â he begged and exhaled a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his freckled nose.
âFine. I miss having women aroundâŠâ You shrugged and muttered, âDidnât peg you for a prude.â
âOkay, letâs just get one thing straight â Iâm not a prude,â he clarified in defense, his cheeks turning a deep shade of red.
âAlright, also noted,â you quipped, smirking to yourself. Sometimes you enjoyed making him a little uncomfortable. His blushed cheeks could be quite cute. âWhat about you? Have you still not talked to Carla? Iâm sure you can win her back if you tried. Youâre a lot better now.â
âWell, thank you for the, uh, vote of confidence, but itâs really over, I guess. We just talked about all the divorce proceedings last time. I actually think she started datinâ someone recently,â Beau told you.
Your eyebrows rose in surprise. âReally? Who?â
âI guess some rich tech guy. I donât knowâŠâ
âAnd youâre good with that?â you questioned in disbelief.
Beau scoffed a humorless chuckle, shaking his head. âHa, no⊠But what am I gonna do? Kinda shot myself in the leg with that one. I donât blame her for moving on. Itâs been over for months now.â
âThat sucks. Iâm sorry. I was kinda rooting for you two,â you admitted.
âWell, thanks, but we werenât you and Randy,â Beau said. It made your brow knit.
âWhat dâyou mean?â
âCâmon, you know what I mean,â Beau replied as if it were obvious, but you still shook your head. He sighed. âYou and Randy wouldâve never gotten divorced.â
âYou donât know that.â Honestly, you doubted it yourself, but you were too curious to find out what he meant by his statement.
âI do know that,â Beau insisted with certainty. âYou guys had that once-in-a-lifetime kinda love. The kind that made other people jealous, you know? Your love made every other relationship pale in comparison. I always figured once the honeymoon phase was over, youâd settle and be less vomit-inducing, but that never happened. Me and Carla were never like that. Not even in the beginning,â he explained, a small, soft smile shaping his mouth. âYou guys were special. True love. The stuff folk singers write cheesy songs about.â
âI guess we were,â you mused quietly, the memory of everything Randy was to you causing tears to well in your eyes.
âHey, Iâm sorry,â Beau apologized as soon as he noticed the sadness on your face. He reached his hand over to your side and squeezed your thigh gently, just above the knee.
âNo, itâs alright,â you brushed him off, swallowing your heartache down. âBut hey, if Carla wasnât your once-in-a-lifetime, maybe sheâs still out there. You just havenât found her yet. I mean, thatâs kinda a nice outlook, right?â
Licking his lips, he bobbed his head, his gaze focused on his hand on the steering wheel. âI doubt it.â
âWhy? Never say never,â you said encouragingly.
âWell, maybe I already met her, and itâs too late now,â he replied. It sounded more like an actual fact than a hypothetical theory. You found yourself wondering.
âWhat, did you have like an old college flame? The one that got away?â you teased lightheartedly, but he only grew more serious.
âSomethinâ like that,â he replied vaguely, rubbing his mouth with his fingers.
âLook her up on Facebook. Maybe sheâs divorced, too. You could reconnect or something,â you suggested. He nodded but didnât seem too convinced. You then shot him a hesitant glance from your periphery. âSo, now that Carlaâs moving on, are you gonna start dating now, too? Jump back into the game?â
âI guess so⊠Why?â A part of him was curious to hear your response, while another part reminded him that his desired answer was only wishful thinking â and completely insane on top of that.
âThat fiery brunette lady at the bar last night seemed really interested in you. Maybe you should hook up with her if sheâs there again tomorrow night?â you proposed in earnest.
Wide-eyed, Beau blinked at you in incredulity â like you had lost your goddamn mind. âIâm sorry, what?! Hook up? Who are you right now? Are you tryinâ to set me up?â
âYeah.â You shrugged simply, not seeing what the big problem was. âDonât look at me like Iâm trying to convince you to get a tramp stamp above your ass with a dirty needle. Iâm just trying to be a good wingman⊠woman. Randy wouldâve tried to set you up, right?â
Beau sighed frustratedly. âYeah, he wouldâve,â he admitted in a grumble and then barked, slightly more furious, âBut you ainât him. And I donât want you to be, so stop it, alright?â
âGeez, Iâm sorry. I was just trying to help,â you mumbled defensively and raised your hands in surrender, unsuccessfully hiding your upset over his reaction. He felt guilty when he saw the small pout on your face.
Beau rubbed his forehead before dragging his palm over the rest of his face. âI know. Iâm sorry, too,â he said and let out a deep breath through his nose. âI just-⊠I guess Iâm just waiting, okay?â
âWaiting for what?â
Beau squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. For you to be ready, he wanted to say. But he couldnât very well do that now, could he?
âFor Christâs sake, Y/NâŠâ he breathed exhaustively. That was all he managed to say. With his palm on his mouth, he rested his elbow against the car door, gazing out the window.
âWhy are you so upset?â you asked, your brow woven with confusion.
âSwitch subjects,â he requested.
It was a phrase the two of you used whenever you didnât want to talk about something anymore. When someone pushed too much, or the topic got too emotional and you needed a break. The only rule was to always respect the request, so you had no choice but to let it go after that.
âThe Texans game sucked last night, huh?â
That elicited a snort from him, and he looked at you with a warm smile. âYeah, goddamn awful.â
âHow many times are you gonna watch those?â
Beauâs question broke your concentration. Your gaze snapped from your laptop screen to his concerned face. Youâd been rewatching the victimsâ videos for four days straight now, trying to find more clues. Maybe even something that directly led to Diane.
âI keep thinking maybe Iâve missed something,â you mumbled and stared back into the computer, your teeth gnawing on the pen between your lips. âItâs 48 hours each. We have twenty-four victims. I keep watching them sped-up to get through them all, but maybe I should slow âem down. I mean, Iâve watched them full-length, normal speed a couple of times before, but maybe I should watch âem even slower and really focus, you know? Thereâs gotta be something thereâŠâ
Bobbing his head worriedly, Beau pursed his lips and took a scan of your desk. He counted eight empty cups of coffee and five cans of energy drinks. There were bags under your red eyes and your hands were jittering. He knew you hadnât slept a lot. He tried to hold you in his arms, but as soon as he dozed off, you snuck out and went back to work.
Beau shut the laptop. âYouâre cut off.â
âHey!â
âY/N, you need to sleep. Just look at you, darlinâ. This obsession isnât healthy. Iâm taking you home,â he declared sternly, ignoring your protests. You were pretty sure he had used his dad voice, too.
âY/N, you need to sleep. Just look at you, darlinâ. This obsession isnât healthy. Iâm taking you home,â he declared sternly, ignoring your protests. You were pretty sure he had used his dad voice, too.
âI need that woman in prison, Beau.â
âYou startinâ to sound like JennyâŠâ Beau quipped under his breath.
âWeâre running out of time. Thereâs only one day left before the next victim drops,â you stated and tried your best to keep your voice steady as it broke off towards the end.
âI know.â Beau clasped your shoulder and squeezed gently. âAnd weâll get her. I promise you. But youâre no good to any of us if youâre exhausted and losing it right now.â You nodded and rose from your chair. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you flush against him, kissing the top of your head affectionately. âHow about some dinner, huh?â
You grinned warmly. âWhat, like a second date?â
âExactly like a second date,â Beau said and mirrored your grin. He was making up for lost time as best as he could, even if it meant taking you out every night for the rest of your life.
Your phone buzzed on the table, your brow quirking at the number. Eagerly, you picked up and wound yourself out of Beauâs embrace. âSpecial Agent Y/L/N⊠Uh-huh⊠Great, thank you.â
Beau pursed his lips. âWeâre not going out, are we?â
ââfraid not, Sheriff.â You shook your head and chuckled at his groan. âThat was IT. Theyâre finally done and sending over the IP addresses.â
âAlright, guess Iâm gettinâ take out,â Beau announced with a small sigh, knowing the two of you were in for a long night â and not the one he had planned.
You smiled and pecked his lips. âThank you.â
August 2020
Beauâs heart thudded frantically in his chest as his knuckles tapped your front door in the early evening. The sky was a color spectacle full of azures, indigos, and apricots as the summer sun slowly set. His boots only stood on that same spot not even twenty-four hours ago. It still felt like a surreal nightmare he couldnât escape, his hope to wake up soon a ceaseless prayer.
Heâd stayed with you all night, held you as you cried yourself to sleep. Beau awoke on your couch with your head resting on his thigh and a strange feeling in his gut. He couldnât help but think you were beautiful, even in a state of utter turmoil, shoving said thought swiftly down into the depths of his darkening soul.
But heâd spent all day thinking of you, plagued by guilt and torn by misplaced feelings. Heâd sat through hours of interviews, going over and over the events of last night till his mind spun like a hamster wheel. He was forced to fill out forms, sign documents, and recount each unforgettable step. Heâd listened to lectures, sermons, and admonitions. His captain gave him a tongue-lashing that sounded like mere white noise before he was sent home with a suspension â investigation pending.
Only he didnât go home; he came here.
At home, his wife and daughter were waiting â for a husband, a father, an explanation. None of which he could provide. Beau wanted to wallow in his grief, his guilt, his loss in peace. He lacked the strength to be strong, play pretend, and act above it all. He wanted to be punished, sent to perdition, and held accountable for his lapse of judgment. A suspension wasnât good enough. It barely patched the abysmal gaps in his heart.
The only suitable punishment was you. Witnessing your suffering was his personally crafted hell. You were the broken remnants of his destruction, the shattered pieces of his idiocy, the explosive fallout of his arrogance.
And you hadnât answered a single call or text of his. His torturous worry was part of his penalty.
Consecutive rings of the doorbell and incessant knocks remained unanswered. For a moment, Beau rested his forehead on the door. He felt helpless and clueless all the same. You had friends and family to take care of you, probably better suited and closer to you than him, but somehow he felt burdened with the responsibility.
He took the spare key out of the left-side planter and barged inside. The ground floor was deserted. Last nightâs uneaten dinner still sat untouched on the table. It felt like a whiplash against his bare back.
Bolting upstairs, he found the door to the main bedroom ajar. He pried it open slowly, the sight of you delivering his second lashing. This time, he felt the sting burning through to his heart.
He found you curled up in bed, on your husbandâs side, in your husbandâs t-shirt, with your wedding photo album clutched tightly in your arms. His breath halted for a moment; his heart did, too.
Did he do this? Was this all his fault?
âY/N?â His deep voice was quiet and careful as he spoke. Slowly, he walked over to your side and knelt down in front of you. âDarlinâ, hey⊠You need to get up. Eat somethinâ.â
Beau was sure you hadnât moved all day. He didnât ask you if you were alright or how you were doing. The question seemed insulting. The answer was obvious. Your phone was lighting up on the nightstand with a million unanswered calls and messages, his own among them. Your beautiful eyes were vacant, red, and empty. You didnât cry, however, not anymore. You were dehydrated and all out of tears at this point. You never looked at him, not even a glance.
âI want him back,â you whispered, your voice coarse from screaming, crying, cursing.
Beau nodded, licking his lips. Caringly, he caressed your head, brushing a few strands of messy hair out of your face. âI know. I hope you know Iâd trade places with him in a heartbeat if I could.â
For the first time your eyes found his. Your gaze was scathing and piercing. âTell me what happened.â
Beau let out a harrowing sigh. He had rehashed the story all day long. He wasnât sure if he could do it again, but maybe this version was the most important one. Who deserved the truth more than you?
âY/N, I donât think this is such a good idea, darlinâ,â Beau tried to reason, mostly for himself. He wanted to hold on a little longer, the idea of you hating him tearing him apart. He wanted to spare himself the additional guilt, the anger, the hurt.
âTell me or leave.â
Beau closed his eyes and nodded hesitantly. âOkay, alright.â He took a deep breath and settled down on the floor, leaning his back against the wooden bedside table. âWe were closing in on that biker gang. Few murders, arms trafficking, drug deals⊠You know the drill. Iâm sure Ra-⊠he filled you in.â
Not that long ago, Randy had asked you for advise on the case. You gave him your contacts in the DEA and a number to a CI.
âYour DEA guy warned us. Said the gang was working closely with the cartel down in JuĂĄrez. But I had my own intel that only a few members were meeting at the Hatcher warehouse in MacGregor. It was supposed to be a small deal. But I figured it could lead to bigger things if we shook âem down, you know? But fuckinâ Harper told us no like usual. Refused to give us back-up. Said to pass the case on to the DEA. But Randy and I worked our asses off the last few months to get even this far. We were so close. I didnât wanna let go⊠So, I suggested we go in anyways. It was supposed to be only three guys from the gang. I knew if we were smart about it, we could easily take âem down, you know?â
You rolled onto your back and propped yourself up on the bed. Shaking your head, you chuckled humorlessly and grabbed the half-empty whiskey bottle from the nightstand. ââCourse you did. Itâs not the first time you broke a rule or shit on authority.â
âYeah, and I was right every single time,â Beau bit. His anger wasnât geared at you but at himself. He knew he was in the wrong. He flew too close to the sun and got burned. But he still felt the need to defend himself, even if it was unjustified.
His gaze drifted to the dresser and the patch of wall above it, decorated with photographic evidence of yours and his partnerâs life together. The wedding, dates, vacations, holidays â it was all there. Beau had watched it all, start to finish. He wished he could rewind the tape and cut off the ending, all so you could have the love of your life back. He didnât know yet your cassette had a B-side. One that featured him.
âYou got fucking lucky, is all,â you scoffed.
âRandy backed me up on it!â
âOf course he did! Youâre his fucking partner! He wouldâve followed you anywhere if you asked him to,â you snapped, shaking your head. You gulped down some whiskey then and locked your jaw before you met his eyes again with a glare. âAnd? What happened then, Beau? Was it only three guys?â
âNo.â The word was almost inaudible. He shook his head with a harsh swallow. âThey were meetinâ with a few cartel members there. My intel never said anything about that. When we were inside and saw what was really going on, it was already too late to get out. They made us, bullets started flyinâ⊠They got a hold of Randy and⊠shot him.â A tear escaped down his cheek, his throat closing as he tried to choke out the last bit of the story. âI had to leave him there. I barely got out myself. Iâm sorry, Y/N. I know this is on me.â
Your lips twitched with a bitter smile. You didnât look at him, just rubbed your tired eyes. âDamn right it is. Get out.â
âY/N, pleaseââ
The storm in your eyes made him stop as you met his gaze, his useless apologies becoming stuck in his throat. âI said, get out. I ainât asking a third time. Youâre the reason my husband is dead. Youâre the reason I donât even have a body to bury. So, get the fuck out.â Like a snakebite, your words were targeted, sharp, and venomous.
You finally got out of bed and prodded towards the en-suite bathroom. The truth had been what you needed to switch the fighter inside of you back on. You knew what you wanted to do then and were determined to get it.
âY/Nââ
âDo you know what cartels do to bodies, Beau? To rivals? To law enforcement? âCause I just came back from a job where we found forty-eight decapitated bodies, left to rot inside the walls of a house. Still havenât found the heads yet. Probably never will,â you told him and stared him dead into his dark green eyes. âEver seen that before, desperado?â
Beau bit his lips, averting his gaze. âNo.â
âYeah, didnât think so.â You scoffed and crossed your arms over your chest. âNow, leave. Please. Get the fuck outta my house. I donât wanna see you anymore,â you spat and slammed the bathroom door shut behind you.
Beau then grabbed the whiskey bottle youâd left and walked out of your home. It was the first of many nights he started to drink himself to sleep, but at least it kept the nightmares temporarily at bay.
âTheodore.â Beau forced a bright smile onto his freckle-dusted face, although the stiff features could barely fool anyone. At least, they wouldnât have fooled you.
âBeau, good to see you again.â Ted smiled and did a more convincing job of it as he waltzed into Lewis and Clark Countyâs Sheriffâs Department. It almost seemed like he meant it. âI was surprised when Y/N told me you got a gig as a sheriff here.â
Translation: I was surprised because you were such a fuck-up back in Texas.
Beau feigned a chuckle. âYeah, I bet you were.â
âHopefully, youâre givinâ the DAs here less headaches,â Ted jabbed under the disguise of friendly banter. He then turned to Jenny with that same shit-eating grin. âYour sheriff is a little troublemaker.â
Sweet Lord, Beau wanted to whack the bastard.
The blonde deputy coolly brushed the accusation off. She shrugged and playfully nudged Beauâs arm, sending the Texan attorney a smile. âI prefer him that way.â
âHey, there she is!â Beau smiled with frazzled relief when you finally hurried into the station. A little while longer, and he definitely wouldâve thrown a punch.
âHey, Ted. Thanks for coming. How was your flight?â You greeted him with a warm smile and a quick hug.
âGood, good. Never been to Montana before,â Ted said and then let his eyes wander up and down your body. âLook at you. You look great!â
âOh, uh, thanks.â You subtly cleared your throat. You could physically feel Beau stiffen next to you. In your periphery, you could spy a tightly clenched jaw and a few strained muscles in his neck.
âMind if Y/N and I borrow your office, Sheriff Arlen?â Ted asked and emphasized his title. âConsidering the nature of this case, Iâd like to keep it as private as possible. Donât want anything to reach Ms. Newtonâs ears.â
Your hunch had been right. Several IP addresses pointed to Diane, some to public Wi-Fiâs. You and the team still needed to connect her to the other states and find out where sheâd been staying there, but you could definitely trace some posts in recent weeks to her home in Montana. It was enough for an arrest warrant, but you still needed more evidence.
Additionally, it had all come together a little too easily. It seemed like a giant trap you were walking into. Diane wanted to be caught. But why?
âWhy donât I just join you? Iâm sure Y/N here doesnât mind,â Beau suggested with a tight smile and then snaked his arm around your middle, pulling you closer. âAinât that right, darlinâ?â
Internally, you sighed a little at his obvious territorial pissing, but you were willing to throw him a bone. You stretched up and claimed his plump lips in a fervent kiss that Beau only all too happily reciprocated.
âNot at all, Sheriff. You know I always appreciate your input,â you replied with a dirty smirk at the double entendre.
As Beau looked down at you, he mouthed âGod, I love you.â You grinned in response.
âHappy to give it to you,â he said with another sweet peck of your lips. A triumphant and slightly cocky grin graced his lips as he looked back at Ted.
âOh, so you two are back together?â Ted realized, his brow rising to his hairline. Heâd never seen you two together but certainly had heard the whispers down in Mexico from your old task force. Heâd been the DA for those cases as well. Youâd never explicitly told him about you and Beau, though, even when he had tried to pry a little on those dates you went on.
âWell, Iâm a hard one to quit,â Beau quipped almost proudly, like a peacock showing off his fan of feathers.
âAs are cigarettes and many other vices,â Ted shot back with the same stupidly proud grin.
Translation: Youâre an ass. And a failure. She deserves so much better. Iâm âbetter.â But maybe that didn't need a translation.
Beau shouldâve known it was hard to out-argue a lawyer and ground his jaw. After all, heâd been married to one for many years.
You, on the other hand, shared a wide-eyed and baffled look with Jenny that bordered on amusement. You had almost gasped in shock. You hadnât expected such a fiery reply, sure the men would stick to their Southern manners. But, oh well, everyoneâs packing in fucking TexasâŠ
âWhy donât you two go ahead? Iâll join you in a minute,â you ordered more than you earnestly proposed and shooed the two men down the hallway towards Beauâs office.
âSure itâs such a good idea to lock those two in a room alone?â Jenny teased, her eyes lingering a little too long on Tedâs perfectly formed ass as he sauntered down the hall.
You couldnât blame her. You had checked out Beauâs in the same breath.
âItâs only for a short time. Theyâre not gonna kill each other,â you laughed it off. Jenny arched a doubtful eyebrow at you. âThat quickly,â you added a correction. âSo, what did I miss here?â you asked and nodded towards the two men, closing the door to Beauâs office behind them. All you heard last was them talking about the recent Texans game.
Ugh, of course, theyâd end up by footballâŠ
âDick measuring contest,â Jenny supplied wryly.
âAh, figuredâŠâ
âWell, better them than to lock Agent Y/L/N and the sheriff into the same room,â Poppernak joked with a soft chuckle as he appeared next to you and Jenny, chiming into the conversation.
You gaped at him in mock-shock. âMo! I canât believe you just said that,â you chided playfully.
His cheeks turned crimson red. âIâm sorry, Special Agent Y/L/N,â he apologized in a fluster.
âMo, I told you to call me by my first name,â you reminded him with a smile. âOr Iâm gonna have to start giving you silly names like Beau does.â
âOh, I love Sheriff Arlenâs nicknames,â he quickly defended with a nervous laugh.
âDo you?â Jenny tilted her head with a questioning eyebrow.
He shrugged. âTheyâre clever.â
August 2020
âOld Fashioned,â you ordered with a look at the bartender, feeling Beauâs confused eyes and crinkled brow wander up to you. âCouldnât have picked a nicer bar, huh? This place is a dump. You know that, right?â
Beau clicked his tongue and took a sip from his Ranch Water. âWhat are you doing here? Thought you never wanted to see me again.â
You let out a small sigh but didnât meet his gaze. âCarla called me. Your family is worried about you.â
âI didnât tell her where I was. How did you know I was here?â
âI didnât. Carla said you havenât been home in three days. Figured youâd gone on a bender. This is the fifth cop bar I checked out. Finally got lucky,â you said and thanked the bartender as he placed his drink in front of you. You settled down on a barstool next to Beau.
âQuite the effort. Sure Iâm worth it?â
Your tongue swept over your lips. âBeau, look at me.â His forest-green eyes found yours upon your soft plea. âIâm sorry I put all that shit on you. It wasnât fair. Itâs not your fault, okay? His death isnât on you. I know you loved him like a brother.â
âI did.â Beau took another sip of his drink. âBut it is my fault. I was reckless and arrogant. We both know it.â
âIt was a set-up, alright? I talked to my DEA contact. Cody said your intel was wrong. They knew you and Randy were closing in on them. They wanted to get rid of you,â you explained.
Beau smacked his lips. âI still shoulda known better. I shouldâve seen it was a trap.â
âMaybe,â you admitted. You couldnât say you wouldâve done the same thing, but you knew Beau wouldâve never purposely put Randy in danger if he had even the faintest idea. âBut it couldâve happened to anybody. This was bigger than you knew.â
âIt wouldnât have happened to you,â he stated quietly. You couldnât argue with that. You were more by-the-book than he was. You wouldâve never gone against a superiorâs order. You wouldâve respected it.
âLook, just go home. Talk to your wife. Get some help,â you said. âYou missed your suspension hearing, but I spoke on your behalf. Told them it wasnât your fault. The DEA backed me. Harperâs gonna reinstate you. Just come back as soon as youâre ready.â
Beau nodded slowly. Even if he didnât say it, you could tell he was thankful for your efforts. âI canât go home.â
Your brow furrowed. âWhy? Iâm sure Carla will understand. You need to talk to someone about this. Go to therapy â and not the alcoholic kind. Losing a partner is not something you get over quickly. You need people in your corner, including your wife.â
âYou mean the wife that lets criminals out on the street?â Beauâs gaze was focused on the glass in his hands. The wrinkles on your brow deepened. âThe guy that shot him⊠Carlaâs his defense attorney. Was, at least. He was supposed to do time, but two months ago, she got him paroled.â With a dark chuckle, he emptied his glass.
âBeauâŠâ You knew he had always struggled with Carlaâs job, making you sometimes wonder about their dinner conversations at home. âIt ainât her fault more than it is yours. Sheâs just doing her job. You know that. Youâve been together for so long, youâd think youâre used to it by now.â
Beau scoffed a chuckle and gestured to the bartender for a refill. âI was a young cop back then. Wasnât on the job as long. I didnât know it would bother me so much. Still lived in that hopeful bubble, I guess.â
You smiled knowingly. âYou mean the âI didnât think Iâd see as much shit and injustice as I do nowâ bubble?â
He snickered softly. âYep, that one. Just didnât think itâd be this hard, you know?â
âI get it. I mean, me and Carla butt heads all the time over this stuff. But we do it in a competitive fun way and then get drunk,â you said with a light chuckle. âGuess itâs different when youâre married, though, huh?â
âYeah, it isâŠâ he sighed.
âStill, go home. Talk to her,â you encouraged but could see your words of wisdom fell on deaf ears. âBy the way, the funeralâs on Saturday.â
He turned his gaze away from his glass and found your eyes. âYou need any help with that?â
âMaybe you can give a eulogy. You knew him best. I think he wouldâve really liked that,â you said with a warm smile. No matter your own feelings, you knew deep down Randy wouldâve wanted you to forgive his partner.
âYeah, I can do that. Anything you need, okay?â Beau clasped your hand that laid on the bar counter and squeezed reassuringly before dropping it again.
You smiled appreciatively and teased, âMaybe show up sober. Or at least close-to.â
Beau chuckled a little. âI promise.â
You stood up from your seat then and put some cash for your drink on the counter. âAlright, Iâm heading home. You need me to call you a cab?â
âNah, Iâm good. Iâm just gonna finish this drink, then Iâll head out, too,â he said.
âYou sure? Donât make me come back here,â you threatened playfully.
Beau laughed softly. âI wonât. Thanks for everything, Y/N. I mean it.â
You sent him a smile and gave his shoulder a squeeze on your way out. âYouâre welcome. Get home safe, okay?â
However, Beau couldnât keep any of his promises. He made it home after three more drinks and woke up on the front lawn of his house. Carla wasnât happy when she found him in the morning as she brought Emily to school. But Beau couldnât stop. Every time he closed his eyes, the tragic events flashed before him like a horror movie, witnessing Randyâs death in a never-ending loop. He kept seeing his partner get dragged away, heard the shot over and over again like a rain of bullets without a ceasefire.
The guilt was eating him alive. The guilt of getting his partner into this mess in the first place. Of leaving him behind. Of surviving and coming out alive when he didnât deserve to.
So, Beau kept drinking to forget, even though he knew it was a futile endeavor. The memory would never fade, but at least it was blurred.
Your heavy breaths echoed through the small trailer. His mouth moved down the column of your throat, leaving a wet path of ravenous love bites in its wake.
âFuck, baby,â you moaned wantonly, his grip on your flesh punishing as he kept you pressed flush against him while he devoured you on the little dining table. Your ass sat on the wooden surface, your crossed ankles locked tightly behind his muscular back.
âGod, you made me so happy today,â he growled against the shell of your ear, his rising length rubbing against your core through layers of denim.
âI can see that.â You giggled, your hands dangling in his hair. âThereâs no need to hate him so much, you know?â
âSays you,â Beau quipped and unzipped your jeans, eagerly pulling them off you as his mouth sucked your clavicle purple and blue. âThat slimy coyote always had it out for me.â
Beau removed your panties as well, tossing them behind his shoulder where they landed in the kitchen sink. âWhoops.â He grinned charmingly but was unstoppable, freeing his throbbing dick as he shoved his jeans and boxers barely over his ass. He didnât bother to slip out of them all the way, too impatient to wait any longer to enter you.
âStill, Iâm already yours. Iâve always been yours,â you said and braced yourself on his broad shoulders as one large hand on your back pulled you closer to the edge of the table. His other hand grabbed his cock, twisting his fist along the hard, long shaft a few times before he glided his cockhead through your slick folds.
âNot always.â With one harsh thrust, he pushed inside you, your tight walls fighting to make room for him and adjust to his stretch.
You gasped at the pleasurable burn that coursed through your body and ignited every sizzling nerve. He dropped his head to your shoulder, giving both of you some time to get used to each other. You could tell you were in for a wilder ride tonight. You always loved when he fucked you rough and hard. There was something raw and animalistic about the need in his hypnotizing green eyes.
Beau then claimed your lips with one fervent kiss, enough of a spark to cause a wildfire. He met your gaze, hands gingerly cupping your cheeks. âBut I love that youâre mine now. And Iâm sure as hell gonna make you mine tonight, darlinâ.â
You crashed your lips against his, your kisses frenzied and untamed as his hips began to slam into you. His pounds into your pussy were relentless as you swallowed every inch of him. You gripped him tight, already feeling your first orgasm bloom. It accumulated like dark, violent storm clouds on the horizon, forecasting roaring thunder and heavy rainfall.
âOh God! Fuck, baby!â You screamed as your climax tore through you like a hurricane, your cunt gushing on his cock and pulsing around him. Your nails dug into his shoulder blades and scratched down his back as you came undone.
Beau groaned into your ear, squeezing his eyes shut as he barely held on himself. But he didnât let up and kept up his furious pace, not ready to stop yet. âShit, keep doing that. Youâre so fucking tight, Y/N,â he grunted against your skin, your sensitive flesh barely withstanding his ruthless pumps. âWant you to come again, darlinâ.â
With his declaration, his hand slipped between your sweat-clad bodies. You came close to losing your mind as he thumbed furiously at your clit, the stars already starting to twinkle in front of your eyes. You could feel yourself get shoved to the edge once more, staring down the steep cliffs of white-hot ecstasy.
Your mind was consumed by need, his grip on your hips bruising as you exploded. You cried out raucously, your whole body quaking in his hold upon your eruption, the aftershocks so powerful they could cause cracks in your bones.
Beau spilled his seed deep inside of you, his body stuttering in rhythm with yours as your earthquake took him down with you. Hazy gazes met each other with lazy smiles as ragged breaths mingled.
âFuck, that was good. I think that one might make it into our Top Ten.â Beau chuckled gravelly and placed a gentle kiss on your temple.
âHmm, not sure. We have a few greatest hits.â You giggled and bit down on your lower lip with a mischievous twinkle in your eyes. âCan I tell you something?â
Beau cupped your cheeks, thumbs caressing the heated and rosy skin as he lifted your gaze. âAnything.â
âJust between us, youâre the best lover I ever had,â you confessed with a wide grin. The corners of his mouth rose to match yours.
âWell, between us, Iâve never loved anyone like I love you. Youâre it, darlinâ. You know that, right? Youâre the love of my life,â Beau revealed, making you smile brighter than you ever had before.
âIâm not sure about the sex, but this moment, right here, is probably gonna make it into the Top Ten,â you said softly as a few tears stung your eyes.
âGood.â Beau smiled and pecked your forehead.
The buzzing of a phone shifted your attention. You recognized it as yours, and Beau was quick to retrieve it from your jeans pocket in the pile of clothes on the floor.
âItâs Jenny,â you told him before picking up. âHello⊠What?! Uh-huh, weâll be right there.â
Beauâs brow furrowed as he watched your features flicker through an array of emotions. âBad news?â
âUhm, honestly, I donât know,â you said and swallowed some of your confusion down, gathering your thoughts. âJenny said Diane just walked into the station and gave herself up. She is ready to confess but only wants to talk to us.â
âUs? As in us two?â Beauâs eyes narrowed. You nodded. âWell, that doesnât sound fishy at all,â he commented wryly.
âYup, I donât like it.â
Chapter 8: Chemical Bonds â JUNE 26
A lot of revelations and foreboding in this one... đ Also, I just love having Beau say the word "coyotes" for some reason đ
Join the TAG LIST here! đ Wanna sponsor my caffeine addiction? âïž
Everything Jensen: @alwaystiredandconfused @xlynnbbyx @lyarr24 @deans-spinster-witch @blackcherrywhiskey
@deansbbyx @foxyjwls007 @ladysparkles78 @roseblue373 @zepskies
@agalliasi @yvonneeeee @hobby27 @iamsapphine @globetrotter28
@mxltifxnd0m @lacilou @feyresqueen @suckitands33 @onlyangel-444
@syrma-sensei @perpetualabsurdity @deans-baby-momma @yoobusgoobus @jessjad
@hunter-or-the-hunted @k-slla @just-levyy @mrsjenniferwinchester @illicithallways
@muhahaha303 @ultimatecin73 @nancymcl @leigh70 @brightlilith
@nesnejwritings @autistic-gothic
Everything Beau Arlen: @snowayumi
Polaris Series: @corruptedcruiser @spnfamily-j2
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BG3 update so I started a Dark Urge save last night because I was curious and also had a great character from DND for it based on what little I knew about how that playthrough would work and
Ohhhhhh now I get why everyone likes Dark Urge playthroughs so much lmao
#jonniejonniejonquil#like first ofc it feels *so* much easier to get with Astarion here (despite the fact that IRONICALLY I WAS THINKING OF *NOT* THIS TIME)#but like most pressingly#your character actually has like. a subplot of their own???#I would have tbh expected the same of Tav for being the protagonist but I get why they didnât#like no subplot (or at least act 1 as far as Iâve gotten in both saves) thereâs no details they give you on tav#which makes it so much easier to plop your own character on top of them#but also just feels like#so much less narratively fulfilling???#anyway not a roast of tav ofc but#dammit I was planning my durge to be my dark playthrough and now Iâve gotten attached đ#dark playthrough gets to sit in the corner one more time#bg3#bg3 tav#bg3 durge#bg3 dark urge#baldurs gate 3#baldur's gate 3
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i have not done a SINGLE assignment over my 1-week christmas break. FUCK.
#IT'S DUE TOMORROW FUCKING KILL ME#when i checked the actual assignment it burned my eyes#it's... gonna take a lot longer than i thought đ#but in my defense ok ;;;;;#YALL FUCK WESTERNERS HAVE A MONTH-LONG(ISH) WINTER BREAK#MY FUCKING UNI GAVE US ONE (1)#it ran from dec 22 and classes start again on jan 4#fuck was i s'pposed to do in those few days ????????#i barely saw my family lately because my uni was far from home ://#and for god's sake it's christmas#i'm supposed to have a warm cup of cocoa and actually rest#fuck was i supposed to do with what little break i have???? do even more work????????#my only solace here ig is the fact that NO ONE IN MY CLASS DID ANY QORK TOO AHFJJAJFJDJ#our gc is blowing up with people asking for literal crumbs on how to do the hw đ#it's christmas break. we had our own families to spend time with and sleep we needed to catch up on#jesus christ it makes me so mad thinking about the fact that i just had a literal WEEK for break time#fuck this system man#tw vent#đ. âŸgie talks
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I know I can't answer this African American Studies question with "I don't know, Protestants confuse me and this really wasn't explained in the text" but um... I was fucking raised Catholic and Quaker, frankly the concept of owning a fellow Christian is fucking heresy to me.
#tbh I probably could text my dad he drank the fundie kool aid he probably knows but um#can yâall ask religious questions that are in the textbook exclusively? Iâm tired this is the second one today#There was so much in that chapter too like the Salem witch trials - my question was literally about vaccines đ#also yes for those keeping track of Katie lore - ethnically Jewish and raised catholic and Quaker humans are very fun creatures đ#Tbh Iâm still trying to figure out my own personal religious views itâs fun sometimes#(that being said hi people who are new here pls do not come to me about#Jewish stuff because outside of personal family history qs I would rec you talk to someone actually#in touch with their roots. Iâm not Jewish enough to be considered Jewish and very aware / try to be respectful of that fact)
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Red Or Papaya : ÌÌâ Lando Norris
summary: when fred vasseur starts hanging out at mclaren, people are wondering why. little do people know thereâs a little connection joining these together into an unlikely friendship
Ë*âąïżœïżœÌ©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*ËïŒ
liked by landowins101, landoscarfan and 4,589 others
f1gossip: fans are questioning why ferrari team principal fred vasseur was found in the mclaren garage over the weekend, inviting himself to be of the celebrations for lando norrisâ maiden victory.
574 comments
username1: i don't get it, why would you celebrate with a rival team?? đ€
username2: it's the big smile on his face for me... đ
username3: i did not have this on my bingo card wtf is going on
username4: is there something going on here that we don't know about?
username5: have i blinked and missed a chapter or something? đ€Ż
username6: pls tell me someone can make sense of this, the most unlikely friendship ever
username7: has he not got his own team to be celebrating a podium with?
username8: i've been staring at these photos for hours and i still don't get it
landonorris: idk what youâre implyingâŠclearly Iâm just a popular guy đđ€·đ»
Ë*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*ËïŒ
liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 784,103 others
ynvasseur: finishing the season with a little company on my summer adventures this year đâïž
64,506 comments
alexandrasaintmleux: and here i was thinking i was gonna get to spend my summer with you đ
ynvasseur: @/alexandrasaintmleux don't tell lando but i plan on bailing just for you
username9: how have they managed to keep this a secret from us all season
landonorris: gonna be the best summer break ever! đ«¶đ»
ynvasseur: @/landonorris cannot wait to spend nonstop sunny days with you đđ
username10: well...at least now we know why fred and lando are besties
charles_leclerc: sorry have you forgotten the team that your dad is principal for??? đ
username11: the only mclaren x ferrari crossover i support is carlando
username12: i don't understand how none of us have picked up on this
carlossainz55: hello traitor đ
ynvasseur: @/carlossainz55 says the man who's driven for most of the teams on the grid wow đââïž
carlossainz55: @/ynvasseur gotta pay the bills somehow kiddo
username13: i can't deal with how cute these photos are omg
username14: no one speak to me for the foreseeable whilst i get over this đ
oscarpiastri: can you make sure that he comes back in one piece please đ
Ë*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*ËïŒ
liked by oscarpiastri, ynvasseur and 1,483,172 others
britishgq: in this weekâs edition we catch up with f1 driver lando norris who opens up about his new relationship with the daughter of ferrariâs team principal yn vasseur đŹđ§đïž
173,492 comments
username15: obsessed with the fact it was carlos that actually introduced the two of them
username16: he actually sounds like he's so in love this is adorable
landonorris: thank you for a great time british gq!! â€ïž
username17: thank you gq for giving us all the gossip we've been searching for
username18: not carlos setting lando up like a proud dad đ
danielricciardo: how is an article the way Iâm finding out about this relationship đ
username19: i think daniel might've been sleeping under a rock
username20: okay but who does yn support in the constructors next year now?? đ€
username21: he's literally gushing about her, look how happy he is with her!!
Ë*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*ËïŒ
liked by landonorris, ynvasseur and 349,604 others
mclaren: yn vasseur found hanging around the mclaren garage, does this mean sheâs ours now? @/scuderiaferrari
42,182 comments
username22: ferrari come and get your girl...
landonorris: not even safe in my own garage from pap like photos đ€Šđ»ââïž
mclaren: @/landonorris admin sends their apologies
username23: i'm so happy they feel comfortable enough to be public with each other now
oscarpiastri: welcome to the best team in the paddock yn đ€
username24: the way he hides his face in his neck omg lando
username25: the hottest couple to ever appear on the grid, no one can argue with me on that
danielricciardo: since when were mclaren such a team of stalkers lmao đđđ
username26: just imagine the ferrari admin having a breakdown seeing these photos
username27: is this a transition to papaya that we're seeing before us?? đ§Ą
ynvasseur: damn i thought you guys were supposed to protect me not throw me under the bus
username28: lando can't even breathe around his own team anymore hahah
scudieraferrari: oh it's on, we're not giving yn up without a fight
mclaren: @/scuderiaferrari when you catch us up in the constructors we'll answer your calls...
Ë*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*ËïŒ
liked by oscarpiastri, carlossainz55 and 747,960 others
ynvasseur: i call these photos sneaking into the oppositionâs garage and hiding from your dad đ
67,323 comments
username29: stop the way he looks at herâŠ
landonorris: calling security to get you outta here stalker
ynvasseur: @/landonorris that's alright, i'll just head back over to ferrari â€ïž
landonorris: @/ynvasseur wait i'm sorry come back!!! đ§Ą
username30: as if fred would ever stop yn from going to see the love of her life
maxverstappen1: why are you turning a grown man into a squishy baby wtf is happening here
username31: I watched the interview for the first pic earlier and his face lit up as soon as he saw yn
carmenmmundt: come and visit me like you come and visit lando
ynvasseur: @/carmenmmundt i'm on my way bby đđ»ââïž
username32: I wish I had a guy who looked at me like this too
oscarpiastri: this kid has not stopped talking about you since you showed up at the garage today đ„ș
username33: not yn still calling mclaren the oppositionâŠsheâs a ferrari girl still!!
username34: @/username33 she's still bitter at them for peeping on her and lando lmao
georgerussell63: i second oscar here pls tell your boyfriend to change the record
username35: his smile has me feeling things ngl
Ë*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*ËïŒ
liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 937,506 others
ynvasseur: what ferrari want you to see vs what I get to seeâŠi promise my dad and lando are friends đ„șđ»
78,475 comments
username36: carlando is still in my heart sorry fred đ«¶đ»
carlossainz55: i for one am disgusted that ferrari would try and crop papa vasseur out like this...
ynvasseur: @/carlossainz55 thank you for your love and support during these tricky times
username37: i love how fred just canât stay away whenever lando is near
scuderiaferrari: admin says to stop exposing our posts like this đ
username38: theyâve got such a special friendship this is adorable
iamrebeccad: can you tell carlos to stop nattering with your boyfriend and get back to the garage so we can go home
ynvasseur: @/iamrebeccad sorry but carlando are refusing to separate
username39: is that fred giving lando a beer two wtf đđ
landonorris: no one can deny that fred vasseur now officially loves me more than his own drivers
username40: poor carlos third wheeling the true friendship here đ
oscarpiastri: wondering where my team mate is only to see he's gone back to his ex
danielricciardo: @/oscarpiastri he'll flirt with anyone that guy
username41: ferrari stop depriving us of sweet son in law lando content pls
username42: the look in fredâs eyes, a proud dad if I ever saw one â€ïž
charles_leclerc: patiently waiting for fred to invite me for a beer like he does lando like... đ
Ë*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*ËïŒ
liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1 and 3,859,684 others
landonorris: we couldnât decide on red or orange so we settled on blue đ
583,708 comments
username43: itâs not fair how adorable these two areâŠ
carlossainz55: someone just pass me the sick bucket now please
username44: imagine being poor yn and having to pick a side đ
maxverstappen1: does that mean you supportâŠred bull???
landonorris: @/maxverstappen1 absolutely not stfu đ€ź
username45: forever my fave couple in the paddock
username46: itâs a good job blue suits you guys so well! đ
ynvasseur: the only person i'd wear any other colour but red for
username47: fred must be so happy his daughter has found such a good guy in lando
danielricciardo: tell me you're a secret red bull fan without telling me you're a secret red bull fan đ€·đ»
ynvasseur: @/danielricciardo đđ»đđ»đđ»
username48: if these two ever breakup i will officially give up on love
charles_leclerc: i hope you look after our girl norris
landonorris: @/charles_leclerc i'll treat her like the queen that she is dw đ
username49: yn really is winning at life isnât she
username50: look at their faces my heart is racing đ
oscarpiastri: can you put yn down and hurry your ass up to briefing now
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every breath you take
â (no outbreak) Joel Miller x f!Reader
â 5.3k words
â Your dad is getting married to his soulmate and you have every intention of making it the perfect day. The only kink in your plan is your unexpected feelings for your soon-to-be stepdadâs best man.
â Rated MA // BILL X FRANK SUPREMACY. LONG LIVE BILL X FRANK. no outbreak, age gap (reader is early 20s, Joel is 45), unprotected p in v sex, creampie, fingering (reader receiving), references to masturbation (reader), pussy pronouns, pet names // reader has female anatomy (no body description but is generally able-bodied) and uses feminine pronouns, is Frankâs adopted daughter (written for all skin tones), wears makeup and a dress, has hair (unspecified length)
â Big big thank you to @sugarcoated-lame and @sunlightmurdock for this idea and letting me run with it (sorry it took 5 months đ) this is psuedo-inspired by my own current activities as my best friend's moh which is why i haven't been super active in the past month or so, thank you to everyone for being so patient with me <33
June, 2013.
After months of planningâstress, sweat, and tears aboundingâthe big night is here. Well, almost here. The actual wedding is tomorrow, but tonight is the rehearsal dinner; and as your adoptive dad has spent the entire preparatory period impressing upon you, the rehearsal might be even more important than the wedding itself.
With that in mind, you arrive at the venue a few hours early to assist with the set up. Seeing the unassembled pieces and parts of the event brings a smile to your face and a determination to your soulâyou want this to be perfect.Â
Someone else shares your determination, too.
You wouldâve sworn, when you first met him, that an elaborate wedding would be the very last thing Bill would want. And yet this has been as much his planning as it has been your dadâs. It brings so much joy to your heart that your dad has found someone who matches him so completely. You couldnât be happier for them; and at the same time, you couldnât be more frustrated for yourself. Because, as dedicated as you are to making this day perfect for them, Billâs best man and long-time friend is maybe even more dedicated. Heâs been turning this wedding into a âfriendlyâ competition between the two of you, trying to one-up you at every opportunity he gets. Itâs infuriatingâespecially when he wears that smug grin thatâs become his signature expression around you. Itâs torture, too, because all you want to do is kiss that stupid smirk right off his handsome face.
Itâs unintentional on his part, youâre sure, but the tension is palpable enough to slice with a butter knife nonetheless. Today is no exceptionâheâs dressed for labor in worn jeans that are just a little too tight around his thighs and a faded Iron Maiden shirt that hugs his strong biceps. His hair is ruffled like heâs been tugging and running his hands through it, and it puts all kinds of indecent thoughts into your brain.
Itâs wrong. The guyâs old enough to be your dad, and thatâs aside from the fact that heâs your soon-to-be-stepdadâs best man. No self-respecting young woman should be looking at a guy whoâs old enough to remember the Nixon administration the way you are right now. And yetâŠ
âMorninâ, sweetheart,â he says in that drawl of his which makes you want to throw your sanity out the window and fall at his feet to worship the very ground he walks on.
Youâve never hated Joel Miller more than you do right now.Â
Regardless, you greet him with the sweetest smile you can muster. âGood morning. I didnât know youâd be here this early.â
âWell, rehearsalâs as important as the weddinâ itself,â he dutifully repeats the line that youâve heard from your dad a million times over. âAnd this barn ainât gonna decorate itself.â
âWell, thatâs kinda my job,â you remind him, hoping your tone sounds more annoyed to him than it does to you.Â
He flashes that boyish smile that no middle-aged man should be able to master, and it makes your heart skip a beat. âCanât let you have all the fun, can I?â
You want to grumble about it. You want to be annoyed by this goofy-ass forty-five year old man and his stupid competitive streak. Instead, your mouth betrays you by smiling. âI appreciate the help.â
âAnytime, sweetheart.â He punctuates it with a wink, and you consider just falling onto the ground and perishing. Instead, you roll up your shirt sleeves and get to work.
The fruits of your labor are well worth the effort they take. You feel a heady sense of pride when you look around at all the decorâas long as this barn has been a wedding venue, youâre certain no oneâs ever made it look this good before.
The tables are arranged neatly in rows, draped with luxurious white tablecloths and topped with neat arrangements of greenery in the centers. The seating chart that Bill and Frank worked so meticulously on is put into effect with hand-written placards designating each chair to an occupant. Strings of white globe lights hang from the rafters and cast a hazy, reverent glow over the entire barn. Everything is the perfect mix of modern and rustic.
Outside on the lawn, rows of neatly arranged chairs line a petal-scattered aisle. Everything leads to the focal pointâan eight-foot high arch wrapped generously in green vines and white blossoms. Itâs definitely the highlight of the entire thing, which irks you just the slightest bitâit was solely Joelâs vision. Apparently, heâs a lot more artistic than youâve ever given him credit for. It tracks, you suppose; construction is an artform if you really think about it. He uses his hands to create just like a sculptor, but to a larger scale. And those hands are capable; youâve seen exactly how much they can move or carry and you wonder if they couldâ
You shake off that train of thought before it can go any further. If you canât get yourself under control youâre going to start wearing a rubberband on your wrist that you can snap every time your thoughts about Joel stray into the âthings you shouldnât be thinking about a middle-aged manâ category.
He certainly has aged like fine wine for a forty-five-year-old man, thoughâŠ
Snap.
With a sigh, you give your head a shake in hopes of clearing your mind and take a look down at your watch. Youâve finished with perfect timingâyouâve got about two hours to go home and get cleaned up before you have to be back for the rehearsal dinner.
You look for Joel for a few moments before leaving, but heâs nowhere to be found. It puzzles you a little bit that he wouldnât at least say goodbye before leaving, but then again he really doesnât have to answer to you. Itâs a well-needed wake up call, a reminder that your feelingsâcan whatever youâre going through really be called that?âyour attraction, is one-sided. Heâs here for Bill and Frank, not for you. Youâre his best friendâs daughter and nothing more, and the realization washes over you like a bucket of ice water.
You hate the way it sends you spiraling on the drive home. You hate the way you care so much about what he might think of you. You hate the way that you have to look at yourself in the mirror and give yourself a stern talking-to about needing to let this whole stupid crush go. You hate the way that you canât even pretend the extra layer of mascara you apply isnât for him.
You avoid Joel the entire night, which isnât easy to do. You have to walk down the aisle next to him during the ceremony rehearsal but you avoid his eye contact, taking a twisted little satisfaction in the way he frowns when all of your replies to his chit chat are short and clipped. Dinner is easierâboth Frank and Bill sit between you and Joel, so thereâs no attempted conversation to deflect from him. But you could almost swear you feel his eyes on you, as if heâs looking right through your dad and soon-to-be-stepdad.
Joel is puzzled, to put it simply. One second, heâs got you in the palm of his hand. Then a moment later, youâre looking at him like you might look at a bug you stepped on and got stuck to your shoe.
He puts it out of mind as much as he can. Heâs not supposed to be looking at you like that, after all. Heâs not supposed to be admiring the perfectly kissable curve of your shoulder or the biteable expanse of your neck. Heâs definitely not supposed to be wondering what youâre wearing under that adorable dress of yours. Youâre his best friendâs daughter, for godâs sake. Youâre so far off limits that he shouldnât even be looking in your general direction.
But he is. Heâs looking, and he canât stop looking. And most of all, he canât stop wondering if you feel it too.
Evidently you donât, because you wonât even take his arm as you practice walking up the aisle in preparation for the big day tomorrow. Youâve probably figured out how much heâs been thinking about you and the kinds of things heâs been thinking, and youâre disgusted. Heâs just a dirty old man to you, surely.
Little does Joel know that you come on your fingers moaning his name practically as soon as youâre through the door of your hotel room that night. You fall asleep before you can feel too ashamed about itâblissfully unaware that Joelâs doing the same exact thing just a few doors down.
You wake up in the morning with much more clarity than you usually have, especially at 9AM.
No matter what, today is about Bill and Frank. You get to be part of a true love story, the kind that your dad used to read about to you in bedtime stories when you were a little girl. That knowledge steadies your mind more than anything else ever could.
You jump into the shower and try your best to tame your unruly hair before shuffling down to the dining area on the ground floor of the hotel.Â
Bill and Frank really spared no expense on this place. All the food is fresh and hot, replenished every few minutes. It smells incredibleâthereâs overlapping waves of pastries, sausages, eggs, and fruits. Itâs almost overwhelming; thereâs way too many options.
After you pile up a plate with as much as your stomach can comfortably handle, you make your way over to the table your father occupies by himself.
âI was wondering when you were going to show up,â he says through a mouthful of cantaloupe.
âDecided to sleep in a little,â you explain. âWhereâs Bill?â
âHe already had breakfast, heâs getting ready,â Frank explains. âJoel made out a whole schedule for us, put us on different shifts so we donât see each other before the wedding. Itâs bad luck, after all.â
You snort through a bite of biscuits and gravy, because thatâs such a characteristically Joel thing to do. From what you know of him, he thrives with routine and functionâyouâre surprised he doesnât have you working off of a schedule, too.
A small, annoying part of your brain thinks itâs really adorable that Joel plays into that whole superstition. Another, more sensible part tells you that nothing Joel does is adorable and youâve really got to stop thinking about him so much.
âHowâre you feeling?â You ask, looking up at your dad through a bite of blueberry muffin.
âRelieved, honestly,â he admits with a chuckle and a twinkle in his eye. âI finally get to marry my best friend today, with my other best friend by my side.â
You hide the way the comment makes you choke up behind another bite of your breakfast.
There have been a lot of times where youâve gone unwanted in your life; starting right at birth, continuing with unrequited crushes and lost friendships. But one person has always wanted you and been there for you through thick and thin. Frank picks you up every time no matter how hard you fall, and you feel so unbelievably lucky to be in his life.Â
If anyone deserves a fairytale ending, itâs Frank. He always puts the people he cares about first, and now itâs his turn to shine. Youâre not letting anything get in the way of thatâespecially not stupid, unrequited feelings for the best man.
With a little more resolve in your mind, itâs easier to get ready for the main event.
Every step of your preparation has been immaculately planned over the course of months. From your dress to your make-up, to your hair, not one detail has been overlooked. It takes you more than an hour to get readyâbut when youâre ready, youâre a vision. Even though youâre not normally the type to enjoy looking into the mirror, you have to admit to yourself that you look stunning.Â
Your traitorous brain wonders if Joel will think the same.Â
With a heavy sigh, you grab your bag and your car keys. You really wish you had a way to shut those intruding little wishful thoughts offâtheyâre doing more harm than good at this point.Â
You take a deep breath, shove as much as you can down, and resolve to have a good time celebrating your dadsâthen you open the door and set out towards an unforgettable night.
Whatever kind of shock and awe you were hoping to inspire in Joel, itâs surely nothing compared to the rush you feel as you find him in the bridal party lounge.
Youâve never seen him quite so put together. Heâs normally a bit undoneâa symptom of being a long-time bachelorâbut today, heâs perfectly styled. The hair heâs been growing out is slicked back into gorgeous curls, his black tuxedo pants hug his hips like a dream. Heâs in the process of fastening the last two buttons on his impeccable white dress shirt and every bone in your body screams to stop himâto keep that peek of his tanned chest on display for your hungry eyes.
You have a fearful moment of thinking you actually made the request aloud, because he does stop in his tracks when his eyes land on you. His lips part in shock and his pupils dilate and he freezes. Fingers that were once absentmindedly completing their task drop to his sides as he murmurs something that sounds suspiciously like âwow.â
âNeed help?â You offer before you can think better of it.
Thereâs a long moment of tense silence, and then he nods silently.
Your mouth is dry as you approach him, trying desperately to keep your cool. Your clammy palms are definitely not the most qualified to complete this task for him, but you canât back down now. With a deep breathâyouâre so close now that it fills your nose with the spicy, intoxicating scent of his cologneâyou will your hands to stay steady and reach for his shirt buttons.
His lead tongue finally remembers how to work as you fasten the first button. âYou look⊠incredible.â
âSo do you,â you whisper. Just when you think youâre out of the woods, ready to step back and breathe properly again, his hand comes up to offer you a bow tie.
âThis too?â His warm brown eyes search yoursâhow could he ever expect you to say no?
âY-yeah. Sure.â You turn the collar of his shirt up, then carefully fasten the tie around his neck. The band is perfectly configured to his neck, the bow already tiedâall you have to do is secure a hook through a loop. He couldâve easily done this himself; and yet he didnât. He wanted you to do this, and that particular bit of knowledge sends a rush of heat burning through your veins.Â
Maybe this whole song and dance isnât quite as unrequited as you originally thought.
Your fingers brush his warm skin as you smooth his shirt collar back down over the band of the tie and itâs like an electric shock that shoots through every inch of your body. Youâve stuck a fork in an outlet and you want to do it again.
Youâre done with your task, yet you canât bring yourself to step away. He doesnât eitherâfor seconds that feel like hours, you look into those dark eyes and feel his breath against your face and you finally have the courage to do something about it. Youâre going to kiss him, just lean in a little further andâ
The sound of the lounge door opening makes your body jolt with the force of an actual fork in an outlet.
âThere you are!â Frankâs got an untamable smile on his faceâhis hair is impeccably gelled back, his white tuxedo tailored to fit like a glove. The sight of him, so close to everything heâs ever wanted, brings tears to your eyes. âWow, you two look amazing.â
âHey. Thanks.â Youâre fighting with all your strength to keep your voice even and calm despite the compliment. The reality of your fatherâs happily ever after comes crashing in and youâve never felt so proud. âFirst look time?â
âYeah,â he confirms with a nod. âIs Billâ?â
âDressinâ,â Joel answers after clearing his throat. âIâll bring âim out when heâs done.â
âPerfect, thank you.â Frank takes your hand to lead you outside, but not before you look over your shoulder at Joel. He looks thoroughly disheveled despite his sharp appearanceâyouâve gotten under his skin. Good.
Thank god for waterproof make-up because you nearly lose your whole face during the first look. Not that youâre wearing much, but itâs enough that itâs jeopardized by the tears your treacherous eyes shed despite trying in vain to will them away.
Youâve never been so happy for two people before. Youâve never seen two people more in love. In their matching white tuxes, with their matching watery eyes, as they turn to greet each other for the first time today, you know that Bill and Frank are a forever thing. It brings you a sense of peace that you never knew was possible.
At some point, you become conscious of the fact that youâre holding Joelâs hand. You know you probably shouldnât, that you could get both of you in serious troubleâbut heâs not pulling away, so neither do you.
The true test of your mascara comes during the ceremonyâit passes the test with flying colors, which is truly impressive considering the tsunami it has to hold up against. Youâve never really been a wedding cryer, although you suppose no one would blame you for this one. Youâre hardly the only person walking away with tissues to their eyes. Bill and Frank have loved so hard and fought for so long in order to obtain this dayâitâs nothing short of incredible to see them finally seal their union with vows.
Before the reception, you pop into the bridal lounge to make sure youâre still presentable. A couple tissues later and youâre good to go, but the sound of the door opening and the lock clicking into place stops you in your tracks.
Joelâs standing there, looking like a dream. Curls slightly disheveled from the wind, top two buttons of his shirt undone with his bowtie hanging out of his jacket pocket. His eyes are slightly red-rimmed, albeit not as bad as yours.
His breath seems to catch when he sees youâhe clears his throat before whispering, âHey.â
For a long moment, your tongue is too heavy to speak. Every ounce of desire from earlier comes rushing back in a flash flood of emotion. Itâs just you and him and tension so palpable you could grab ahold of it.
âH-hey,â you breathe. Earlier, you were ready to do something drastic. Now, all the familiar doubts come crashing back in. Are all these feelings one-sided? Were you just seeing what you wanted to see? The feeling of his hand in yours is burned into your palm. Does he feel it too?
âI think it went pretty well,â he hums. His hands are tucked into his pockets, thumbs twitching unconsciously as if heâs nervous.
âIt was perfect,â you agree.
For a moment that seems to last a lifetime, you both stand toeing the line. Itâs right there, unseen but waiting to be crossed. You donât know if either of you have the courage it takes to step over it.
And then he moves; he breaks the tenuous balance of platonic and something more by closing the distance between you.
âYou really do look amazinâ,â he breathes, hands clenching indecisively at his sides. âI mean, you always do, butââ
You grab him before he can finish his sentence. âDonât Go Breaking My Heartâ is blaring on the outdoor speakers as your lips finally meet his. Itâs been weeks, maybe even months, of dreaming about this moment. Itâs better than you ever couldâve imagined.
The world fades away as his breath becomes yours. Thereâs nothing but the feeling of his tongue sweeping across your bottom lip and his hands gripping your waist and his curls tickling your forehead. Nothing but the sound of his deep groan and the desperate thrum of his heartbeat underneath your palm as it slides up his chest. Nothing but finally feeling complete.
âW-we shouldnâtâŠâ he murmurs, but he doesnât dare pull away. His steps sound like cannonfire as he backs you up against the wall, a march towards something deliciously irreversible as his tight grip on your waist bunches the fabric of your dress up. Nothing has ever felt as right as his entire body surrounding and swallowing you this way.
âI want to,â you breathe against his lips. âDo you?â
âGod, yes.â
Your arms come up to wrap around his neck and tug him closer, desperately wanting every inch of his body pressed up against you. Just as heâs starting to pull the skirt of your dress up, the song outside changes to âDonât Stand So Close to Meâ, strangely apt but also a reminder that you donât have time. You made this playlist yourselfâyou know that thereâs only three more songs after this one before youâre supposed to be ready for the bridal party entrance to the reception.
âJoelâŠâ you moan out. âJoel, we have to be quick.â
âHow quick?â He questions between searing kisses down the length of your neck.
âTen minutes at the very most.â
âShit,â he grumbles. He doesnât pull away thoughâif anything, he pushes you back harder against the wall. âYou still wanna do this?â
As much as you want to say yes, as much as you want to say fuck the reception, you canât do that to Frank and Bill. âYou think ten minutes is enough time?â
âIf I canât make you come in ten minutes Iâll eat my own fist.â
It makes you shiver in conjunction with the way his hand slides feather-light up your thigh.
Even the ghosting touch of his calloused fingertips on your sensitive skin has you aching for more. âJesus Christ, youâre gonna drive me crazy.â
The cocky bastard has the audacity to actually wink at you. âThatâs the plan, sweetheart.â
You drag his lips back to yours with a renewed sense of desperation, relishing the gentle scratch of his trimmed beard against your chin and under your palms. âItâs definitely working.â
âGood.â
You know this is territory that you probably shouldnât be crossing into, not when heâs twenty years older than you and heâs your new step-dad's best friend, but you canât be brought to care when those deliciously rough fingertips are slipping under the hem of your panties.
âShit, sweetheart,â he grumbles against your lips. âSheâs soakinâ for me.â
âA-always is,â you gasp out.Â
His fingers sweep through your folds, gathering as much slick as he can to swirl around your sensitive clit. He smirks at the way your hands tighten on him even at the lightest of touches.
âThat how you like it, sweetheart? Nice and gentle?â He presses a little firmer and a grin spreads over his face at the gasp you let out. âOh, thatâs it.â
âJoel, pleaseâŠâ Your hands move to his arms, squeezing tighter than you probably should but you canât help it when heâs touching you like this. Itâs exactly what you need and he knows itâhe watches your face for every little indication that heâs doing a good job.
âPlease what?â He purrs quietly. âWhat do you need?â
You could go on like this for hours, youâre sureâand youâre sure heâd be more than willing. You could stay here in his arms forever and let him work you over until thereâs nothing left in your head but his name.
The song outside changes again, and you know forever will have to wait.
âFuck me,â you plead. âNeed you.â
âItâs gonna be tight, sweetheart.â Youâd think he was being overly confident if you couldnât feel the size of the bulge pressing against your thigh.
âThatâs okay. Please.â
âAlright, sweetheart.â In a flash heâs got his belt undone and your greedy hands are more than happy to assist in shoving those perfectly pressed pants down his sturdy thighs.
You canât help the gasp that bubbles out with the sight of him. Heâs big. Thereâs no debate. The flushed tip of him is peeking through mouth-watering foreskin, red and flushed as if angry itâs not inside you already. Youâre devastated you donât have time to take that thick length into your mouth, to make him shudder and shake until heâs begging to fill you.
Later, you remind yourself.
âStill sure about this?â He asks, tone no longer brimming with the urgency and arrogance from just a few moments prior. He searches your eyes intimately for any hint of hesitationâthe last thing he wants to do is to push you.
Youâve never wanted anyone more.
âYes,â you breathe. âPlease, Joel.â
âEasy, honey. Iâve gotcha.â The hand between your thighs moves to coat him in your slickâfor a moment, youâre mesmerized at the sight of his big hand working over his cock. âGotta tell me if anythinâ doesnât feel good, âkay?â
âI will, I swear, just pleaseââ
The rest of your sentence gets lost in a breathless moan with the first gentle thrust of his hips. Even just the tip is a stretchâone that has your nails digging into his shirt-clad back and your thighs tightening around his waist.
âShit, sweetie,â he purrs, voice liquid gold. âGotta relax, gotta lemme inââ
You manage to loosen your thighs a little and it gives him the space he needs to press all the way in to the hiltâthe feeling of him filling you completely is nothing but breathtaking. A broken groan tumbles from his lipsâyou can feel the way his breath hitches from how his forehead is pressed against yours. Itâs nothing short of heady, to know that you have such a profound effect on a man you thought might be immune to you.
âGood?â He questions in a whisper. One of his hands is hooked under your left knee to keep your leg up around his waist; the other strokes absentminded patterns over your right hip, as if unconsciously soothing you.
You give him a shaky nod in response. âGood.â
The pace he sets is the most delicious kind of torture. You both know youâre in a time crunch, so Joel is more than happy to employ the most toe-curlingly relentless speed. Every slick thrust of his cock makes your eyes flutterâlittle breathy moans escape your lips with fervor as he pounds deep. He's hitting every single spot all at once and then some. All the while his lips trace around your neck and jaw, careful not to leave marks but whining quietly as if heâs tempted. As if he wants nothing more than to claim you in a way that everyone can see.
You moan out his name and the hand on your waist comes to help, settling between your bodies and finding that perfect rhythm from before. Youâre finding out that heâs a very intuitive and quick learnerâyou would certainly praise him for it if you could find the breath to do so.Â
The way his hips workâdriving him deeper than anyoneâs ever been; the way his fingers swirlâbringing you to the brink in mere minutes with the most thigh-shaking friction; the way his mouth works, sucking just light enough on the sweet spot behind your ear so as not to leave a mark⊠it all builds and builds and builds, leaving you breathless and trembling and teetering on the edge of pure oblivion.
âYâfeel like fuckinâ heaven,â he gasps out against your cheek. âNever gonna get enough.â
The words alone send white-hot pleasure shooting down your spineâyouâve wanted him so badly for so long, and now you know heâs wanted you too. It feels even better with that satisfaction, with the fact of winning the prize youâve been coveting so deeply.
âJoelâŠâ You want to tell him the million thoughts that are rushing through your head, but your lungs arenât cooperating.Â
âI know baby,â he murmurs with a particularly devastating thrust. âI know. Sâokay.â
Itâs too much and simultaneously not enough. You dig your nails into his shirt to tug him closer, a silent plea to get him working against that spot again. He complies without words, hitching your leg a little higher around his waist and angling his hips in a way that makes you cry out his name again.
âIâm gonnaââ
âYeah, go âhead,â he purrs breathlessly. âLemme feel it, come all over my cock.â
His fingers press a little firmer against your clit and thatâs all you need for the knot in your stomach to unravel with blinding force. It travels through every nerve like some delicious form of spontaneous combustion, making your body shiver with the energy of it. Itâs the best youâve ever feltâyou donât think youâll ever get enough of it, either.
âThatâs it honey, holy shitâŠâ He murmurs before finally meeting your lips again for a breathless and panting kiss. âW-where?â
For a moment, you have no clue what he could possibly be talking about. His thrusts are losing rhythm with each moment, as if heâs about toâ
âInside,â you whine out after your moment of clarity. âPleaseââ
âShit,â he spits even as he drives himself impossibly deeper. âYâsure?â
Youâre not even conscious of nodding your headâall you know is that you need him completely. âItâs safe. Promise.â
âAtta girl,â he whispers. âGonna leave you fuckinâ drippinâ, wonât be able to stop feelinâ it all nightââ
His head tips back as the first wave crashes over him, eyes squeezed shut and mouth dropped open as his hips grind into yours. Thereâs nothing short of pure ecstasy on his face with the first few ropes of cum that fill you. Youâve never seen anything quite as beautiful as the pleasure washing over this gorgeous manâs gorgeous face. Knowing that youâre the cause of all this nearly sends you over the edge all over again.
He grunts as he shoves himself a little deeper, eager to feel every inch of you as he unwinds. âChrist, honey⊠squeezinâ me so goddamn tight.â
âNot my fault youâre huge.â
He chuckles at that, staying seated deep within your walls for a moment longer so he can kiss you again. Itâs lost its edge of desperation, but it makes up for it with an overwhelming note of sweetness. His hand cups your jaw to guide the angle and once again youâre struck by that overwhelming sense of rightness. Itâs like you were meant to be here, meant to take everything he gives you and more, meant to love him.
The song outside changes to âEvery Breath You Takeâ, the song before the entrance song, and you spring to action.
âShit, Joel, weâve got to go.â
He pulls out with an overdramatic groan, as if it hurts him to be separated now that he knows what it feels like to be joined. You can feel the drip start even before his hand comes to fix your panties, but thereâs hardly enough time to worry about that.
âHowâs my make-up?â
âPerfect, darlinâ. Not a thing outta place.â
âThank god for waterproof,â you chuckle as you straighten your dress.
His dark eyes meet yours as your hands smooth out his rumpled shirtâthereâs still so much swirling behind them, so much promise of things to come.
âWeâve gotta go,â you repeat when he halts by the door.
âJust a sec,â he murmurs. And then he pulls you in for one final, saccharine sweet kiss. âCome to my room wâme tonight.â
âOkay,â you promiseâyouâre surprised you can keep your voice even when just the question makes your heart skip a beat.
âThank you.â Itâs genuine, earnest. It makes your heart skip another beat.
He takes your hand before unlocking and opening the door, and he doesnât let it go until he absolutely has to.
â beta: @schnarfer and @futuraa-free thank you my darlings <3 ; dividers: @saradika-graphics
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â summary: you meet up with your favorite biker guy to backpack him for a day, and things get very heated very fast.
â CW: 18+ only! meeting up with a stranger (donât do that), putting out for a stranger (oops, iâd fold if it were biker!rafe too), biker guy!rafe, semi public sex (itâs at the top of a parking deck thingđđ), fingering, hair pulling, male receiving oral, unprotected sex, ass and pussy slapping (like once), lots of dirty talk and praise.
â a/n: ah fuck. my obsession with biker men got the best of me here. my wet fucking dream. likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated <3
â„ ride â r.c
I couldnât believe this was actually happening. I had been following him on Instagram and TikTok for months, and he lived in my town! So when I finally found the courage to send him a DM on Instagram joking about backpacking him for a day, I never in a million years imagined that he would actually respond â and say yes!
Iâm finishing up the final touches of my makeup in front of my full length mirror that sits in the corner of my room when I hear my phone go off, letting me know I have a text.
Standing from the floor, I make my way to my nightstand and grab my phone. I open it to see that he has texted me.
Rafe: Hey! Iâm out front whenever youâre ready.
I smile at the text and type out a quick response. Pocketing my phone, I rush to slip on my high top converse and grab my hoodie, tossing it over my head and rushing out of my bedroom and front door.
Making my way down the steps I come to a stop at the bottom, my breath catching in my throat when I see him leaned against the side of his bike. He looks deliciously good today. He wears a pair of tight, black jeans and a fitted white T-shirt. He pairs the outfit with a pair of white Nikes with a black Nike check in the middle of either side.
He doesnât have his helmet on, and the sight of his bright blue eyes sparkling under the sun has my thighs tightening. He never shows his face on his social media, only his eyes if he flips the visor of his helmet up, and he rarely does that. He has the most perfect full lips, a defined jawline and his hair sits messy on top of his head. This man is the epitome of perfection.
âY/N, right?â He asks, his low voice pulling me from my trance.
I swallow the saliva thatâs built up in my mouth from looking at him and nod my head quickly. âYeah, thatâs me! Rafe, right?â I ask. But I already know. The bike he came to pick me up on lets me know it is in fact him.
He smiles widely. âThatâs me. You ready? Have you ever rode before? Even just on the back?â
My hands begin to slightly shake, all of a sudden clammy. Iâm nervous. But who wouldnât be? This gorgeous man, with a large following on social media is here to pick me up, and take me riding with him for the day. Any woman in my position would be nervous too. Well, not all women, but the women like me.
âNo.â I answer honestly. I watch his lips quirk up into a smirk, and I internally fist pump that he didnât change his mind. Happy that he didnât say ânever mind, itâs not worth the hassle of teaching youâ
He takes a step toward me, reaching his right hand out for me to take. I place my hand in his and pray that he canât feel how nervous I am. He leads me toward his bike, releasing my hand and grabbing the extra helmet heâd brought with him. He turns, and when his blue eyes land on mine again, I swear I feel my heart skip a beat.
âIâm just gonna slide this on you, that okay?â
I smile and nod. âYeah thatâs fine.â
He nods once and then moves to slip the sleek black helmet over my head. Once itâs on good, his fingers move down to the straps under my chin. When his fingers brush across the skin, a shiver runs through my body. Once he has it strapped in place, he steps back and lifts the visor so he can see my eyes. âFits perfectly. You look cute in that.â
I laugh nervously. âThank you.â
He gives me one last smile before turning and grabbing his own helmet, placing it on his head and strapping it in place. He turns to face me again, and my panties grow wet at the sight in front of me. I donât know what it is, but him with his helmet on is so fucking sexy.
ââM just gonna press this button on your helmet, itâll allow you to hear me while weâre riding.â
I nod my head and stand still as he steps toward me again, pressing a small button on the helmet I didnât know was there. He steps back and asks, âCan you hear me?â
I giggle. âYeah, I can hear you. Thatâs so cool!â
I hear him chuckle and the sound makes butterflies erupt in my stomach. âYeah, me and my friends bought these so we can communicate while we ride, if we get separated and canât use our hand signals. Plus, itâs fun to fuck with them this way too.â
He turns back to his bike and grabs a pair of black and white riding gloves from a drawstring bag, shoving them on his hands before turning to me once more. He claps his hands together and begins explaining the basics of riding on the back.
âSo, Iâll hop on and youâll sit on this seat behind me, and place your feet on these pegs.â He pats the seat and points to the foot pegs. âWhile weâre riding, wrap your arms tightly around my waist, and if I lean in a certain direction, you lean with me. It makes it easier to navigate turns and what not.â He pauses again, thinking of what else he needs to go over. He finally speaks again. âOh! And if you get scared or want me to slow down, just tap my thigh. Itâll let me know to slow down for you.â
I nod my head and let him know I understand. Satisfied with everything heâs told me, and knowing Iâm comfortable he tosses his drawstring bag onto his back and climbs onto his bike, starting it up. The engine roars to life and he turns his head to face me, nodding it toward him to let me know I can get on. I swing my right leg over the back of the bike, setting my ass onto the seat and wrap my arms tightly around his waist like heâd said to do.
I hear him through the speaker in the helmet as his hand taps my thigh. âReady?â
âYes!â
-
An hour later, Rafe is pulling up to the top of a parking deck. The two of us had rode non stop for the last hour, and to say it was one of the most exhilarating and memorable experiences of my life would be an understatement.
He pulls the bike to a stop, shutting off the engine and putting out the kickstand before he climbs off. He keeps his hand on my thigh to keep me upright as he gets off the bike, and then he grabs at my left hand and helps me off next.
I pop the clip of the straps under my chin, letting them fall loose before I pull the helmet up and off my head. I run my fingers through my hair, trying to tame the knots that had formed during the ride. After a few seconds of â and actually failing â trying to tame the knots, I finally decide to just toss my hair into a high ponytail.
As Iâm securing the ponytail holder in my hair, Rafeâs voice catches my attention. âSo, was it everything you thought itâd be?â
I finish putting my hair up and turn to smile at him. âAbsolutely. That was⊠So much fun.â I breathe out.
He smiles and takes two long strides toward me, making my breath catch in my throat and my thighs tighten. This man is so fucking sexy it hurts, and the fact that Iâm alone with him, it has my heart pounding and my pussy throbbing. But we donât know one another, nothing would ever happen between us. He was just being nice today, allowing me to ride with him. I bet he does this a lot. Iâm nothing special.
Once he stands directly in front of me, I swear my knees almost give out. His intoxicating scent fills my nose, the warmth radiating off his body envelopes me. He reaches his right hand out, pushing a loose strand of hair behind my ear.
âI gotta say, you looked absolutely beautiful on my bike.â
My heart begins pounding rapidly in my chest, my hands shaking. I swear, this man is going to be my downfall. If he asked me to drop to my knees right here, right now, I donât think Iâd have the strength to tell him no.
I laugh nervously. âThank you. You donât look to bad yourself on there.â
A wide grin spreads across his lips, and the sight alone takes my fucking breath away. He cups my cheek with his right hand, brushing his thumb across my skin. âCan I kiss you?â
My eyes go wide. Did the Rafe Cameron just ask if he could kiss me? I have to be dreaming right now. My eyes find his, searching for any sign that heâs just fucking with me. But I never find it. His blue eyes are darkened over, and hold nothing but seriousness in them.
I feel my legs turn to jello, and the only thoughts running through my mind are his lips on mine. His cock buried inside my wet cunt, down my throat. My eyes flick down to his plump lips and back to his eyes. He takes my silence as an invitation, dipping his head down and pressing his lips with mine.
The kiss starts out softly at first, but then he quickly deepens it. His tongue glides across my slightly parted lips, a low groan emitting from his chest before he forces his tongue in my mouth. Our tongues brush against one another, fighting for dominance before he finally wins. My entire body is on fire, my thighs tightening and my arousal soaks my thong. Fuck, I need more of him.
When he finally breaks his lips from mine, weâre both breathing heavily, chests rising and falling as his lust filled eyes search mine. I decide to be bold, the worst he can do is shove me away, right? My right hand slides between our bodies, finding his hard cock and palming him through the rough fabric of his black jeans. He hisses in a breath. âYouâre playing a dangerous game, baby. You sure you want this?â
A shiver runs up my spine at the low, raspy tone of his voice. Sexual tension is thick in the cool fall air, making it feel warmer than it is outside. My entire body screaming at me to let him have me, while my mind is screaming to run the other way. I donât know him. I only follow him on social media. But heâs so fucking sexy. Heâs so confident in himself, and I need to feel what itâs like to have him. Even if itâs just a one time thing, even if he is a stranger to me, my body fucking craves him like a drug I canât get enough of.
My eyes find his and a mischievous smile forms on my lips. âIâm sure.â
I feel his cock twitch beneath the fabric of his jeans, and I smile knowing that itâs me who has this man all worked up. He slaps my hand away from his hard-on, his own hands quickly working the button and zipper of his jeans. He slides the black material down his legs, before shoving his boxers down as well, the material pooled at his feet. His strong hands grip my shoulders, shoving me down to my knees.
I wince when my knees hit the hard concrete beneath me. I shake away the feeling of the rough ground digging into my knees through my jeans, and focus on the hard, long and thick cock that stands erect in front of my face. I bite at my bottom lip before lightly grasping the thick base of him in my right hand. I stroke him softly, running my hands up and down, from the base to the swollen pink tip. Removing my hand, I gather saliva in my mouth and spit down into my palm before gripping him again.
I stroke him softly, toying with the head of his cock before running my hands back down the base. He growls in frustration, his hands falling to the back of my head and gripping at the high ponytail Iâd put my hair into. He yanks my head up, forcing my eyes on his. âYou like playing games? Suck my fucking cock, baby. Or else I promise, when it comes time to please you, Iâll play the games right fucking back, and you wonât like it when I win.â
I smirk up at him, letting out a small whimper at the tone in his voice and the feeling of his hands in my hair. He loosens his grip on my head, allowing me to drop my head back down. My tongue darts out of my mouth and I lick up the vein thatâs on the underside of his cock. He moans when my tongue reaches his tip, now red and angry as precum leaks from it. I slide my tongue over the slit on the tip of his dick, gathering his precum onto my tongue. I close my eyes and hum in appreciation. âYou taste so good, Rafe.â
He growls, his fingers wrapping around my ponytail once more and shoving my mouth onto his cock. He shoves himself all the way down my throat, pulling a small gag from me. I look up at him through my lashes, his head is thrown back, eyes squeezed shut. His adamâs apple bobs in his throat when he swallows. Slowly, he pulls my head back, strings of my saliva coating his dick.
ââM gonna fuck this pretty mouth, then, Iâm going to bend you over this fucking bike and take you from behind. Alright?â
I whimper in response and he lets out a dark laugh. I suck in one more breath before he shoves himself back in my throat. Tears fill my eyes as I breathe through my nose. His thrusts are harsh and sloppy, his tip repeatedly abusing the back of my throat. But I donât fucking care. This man can fucking ruin me, and Iâll thank him when heâs done.
The sounds of my gags and his grunts fill the air as he continues to abuse my throat. His thrusts begin to grow sloppier, his dick swelling in my mouth. I feel him twitch inside my mouth and then heâs yanking my head back, spit attached to his dick and my mouth go flying at his roughness.
I suck in an appreciative breath of air, my hand over my chest as it heaves up and down. He wraps his fingers around my left arm, pulling me to my feet and turning me so my back is to him. âJeans down, now.â He demands, and I quickly obey.
My jeans are pooled at my feet, the only thing left covering me from him is the black lace thong I chose to wear today. I gasp loudly when I feel his hand slap harshly against my ass, the sting it left behind delicious. He runs his fingers over my clothed pussy, and I canât contain the moan that slips free. âYouâre fucking soaked, baby. All fâme?â
I nod my head, tears falling past my lower lashes. âYes. Fuck, yes. All for you, Rafe.â
His fingers slide my panties to the side, baring my soaked pussy to him. I hear him groan from behind me. âSuch a pretty pussy, baby. I canât wait to feel it squeezing my cock.â
He runs his fingers through my wet folds, gathering my arousal on them before he shoves to inside me without warning. I cry out, my back arching and allowing him better access. He slowly pushes two thick digits in and out of me, his thumb pressed firmly against my clit and rubbing lazy circles around it. âSo fuckinâ tight, baby. Gotta stretch you out before I shove my cock inside you, think you can handle a third finger?â
I whimper, my head falling forward and dangling over the other side of the bike. âYes.â I say breathlessly.
He lets out a low growl before adding a third finger into my sensitive pussy. âThatâs it baby girl, take my fingers. Youâre almost ready for my cock.â
Whimpers and whines fall from my lips, my hips roll against his hand, fucking myself onto his fingers. The squelching noise my pussy makes while his fingers fuck me have my mind going fuzzy and my toes curling within the confines of my high top converse.
I feel myself clench tightly around his fingers as that warm feeling builds inside me. My orgasm nearing. I clench around him again, my legs shaking uncontrollably as I come undone around his fingers.
He quickly pulls his fingers from inside me, the hand that was just fucking me slaps harshly at my now overly sensitive cunt, making me scream. âFuck me, Rafe! I need you inside me, now! Please..? Please fuck me.â
He chuckles, and I turn my head to see him with the three fingers he just fucked me with shoved into his mouth. He sucks and licks them clean, pulling them out and giving me a mouth watering smirk. âTaste so fuckinâ good. Gonna have to take you home with me after this and devour that sweet cunt of yours.â
I sigh in frustration, wiggling my ass back and forth, silently begging him to fuck me. I hear him step toward me, and then I feel his swollen head running through my slick folds. His head teases at my entrance before he slowly pushes it inside me. âFuck!â I shout, and he chuckles. He slowly pushes himself inside me, inch my inch until heâs buried inside me, his balls lightly brushing at my sensitive clit.
He groans. âFuck, youâre so goddamn tight. Pussy feels sâgood wrapped around my dick.â
I let out a soft whine when he slowly pulls himself from inside me, slamming himself back in seconds later. His hands find my hips, gripping them tightly as he begins to roughly fuck himself into me. My tits are smushed against the seat of his bike, my head dangling over the other side as my hands grip at the foot peg in front of me for balance.
Each push and pull of his cock has me seeing stars, my legs turning to jello once more. A feeling of pure euphoria washes over me, and I know my second orgasm is about to explode from me. âGoddamnit, Rafe! âM so close, so fuckinâ close!â
One harsh thrust has the band snapping and my pussy pulsing. My second release washes over me. I lift onto the tips of my toes, screaming his name out to the world as I come undone around his thick cock.
He doesnât let up, he continues pounding into me ruthlessly. My body goes numb, my brain foggy and blood rushing to my ears. All I can hear are the sounds of his balls slapping against my pussy and the wet, squelching noise my pussy makes with each push and pull of his hips. He lies his front on top of my back, his lips ghosting over my ear as he whispers. âHope youâre on birth control, âcause Iâm coming in this sweet fucking cunt.â
I whine, my eyes rolling into the back of my head when I feel his cock swell inside me. He places a hot kiss on the sweat slick skin of my neck, his teeth sinking into the skin when his dick twitches inside me. He lets out a low groan, thrusting forward once more before he still inside me, letting the hot, white ropes of his cum spill inside me. Marking me with his seed.
He lies on top of me for a few seconds, breathing heavily before he slowly pulls himself from inside me. A shudder wracks my body at the feeling of his thick cock sliding out, leaving me feeling empty and suddenly cold.
He pulls something from his bag, bringing it between my legs and wiping me clean. I look at him from behind my shoulder, and give a small smile. Once heâs finished cleaning me up, I fix my panties and lean forward to pull my jeans back up my legs. Itâs awkwardly silent, and that alone makes me uncomfortable. Does he regret what we just did? Does he wish he didnât have to make the awkward ride back with me back to my place?
All the thoughts running through my mind vanish when I feel his lips on mine. âStop that.â He says once he pulls away.
I frown. âStop what?â
His hands cup my cheeks and he smiles down at me. âThinking. I can see it written all over your face.â He pauses, kissing the top of my forehead, and the act alone has my stomach erupting with butterflies again. âI meant what I said, Iâm taking you home and devouring that sweet cunt, you got a thirty minute ride to prepare yourself for a long night baby.â He says with a wink, and then he turns to get us ready for the ride back to his house.
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Fact Checking Some Myths About Aventurine and the IPC
Especially in light of Jade's new myriad celestia trailer and the reveal of the other Stonehearts, I've seen a ton of wild claims about Aventurine--particularly how he's an unwilling member of the Stonehearts and needs to be saved from the IPC--that just aren't sitting right with me because they're based significantly more on the fanon take that Aventurine is an "innocent victim" than any actual evidence displayed in the game. So I wanted to take the time to collect some in-game evidence to see if we can sort out what Aventurine's actual relationship to the IPC is. Time to do some fact checking--this is a long one, buckle up!
Claim #1: Aventurine was sentenced to die by the IPC.
Verdict: There's no actual evidence that Aventurine was ever sentenced to anything.
This entire idea that Aventurine was actually successfully sentenced to die by the IPC comes from two pieces of "evidence" in the game. First, the scene with Dr. Ratio where those words are stated:
Leaving aside whether the IPC legally has the right to sentence anyone to anything by themselves (they're a corporation, not an actual governing body), this is the exact line that Dr. Ratio fans have been bending over backward to prove is "just an act" and that Ratio would never actually mean this (because if he actually meant this, it would make him pretty racist). So if we've already busted our asses to prove this line isn't true and was just Ratio and Aventurine acting... why would we be using this line as evidence that Aventurine was actually sentenced to anything?
We can't say "This entire scene was an act because Sunday/the Family was listening in!" and then go "Okay, but this one part is definitely true (despite there not being any other evidence in game to corroborate the statement)." Either this scene is acting, and this line isn't true--or the line is true, and Ratio's kind of a racist. Make up your minds, people. đ
Actually, I can help make up your mind. We can prove that this line is likely a strong part of Aventurine and Ratio's deliberate act because Ratio's comment (which took place in 2.0) doesn't actually make any sense once Aventurine's story is fully revealed (in 2.1).
Ratio relates Aventurine's slave brand to the IPC, suggesting that the brand is proof that Aventurine is "doomed" and "sentenced to die by the IPC." Ratio even goes so far to say "Or was it from the Amber Lord himself?"
But from 2.1, we know that Aventurine's brand had nothing to do with the IPC, and his former slave owner was definitely not an IPC employee (as he refers to the IPC the same as Aventurine's sister did, "the guys in black").
Aventurine's brand came from being owned by a non-IPC-affiliated slaver--it had nothing to do with the Stonehearts or even Oswaldo Schneider.
So Ratio's entire comment linking the brand to the IPC makes no sense, and therefore his statement that the brand marks Aventurine as a "doomed Sigonian thrall sentenced to die by the IPC" also makes no sense.
Instead, I would argue that this line is a perfect example of the kind of exaggerated acting that Ratio and Aventurine were doing specifically to make the eavesdropping Family see Aventurine as an easy target. With this line, Ratio is emphasizing that Aventurine is a sitting duck without his Cornerstone, that he'll be weak and helpless--and that no one in the IPC will come help him, because they've already sentenced him to die. This is Ratio deliberately baiting Sunday into thinking that Aventurine will be easy, isolated prey without his Cornerstone--which is exactly what Aventurine wanted Sunday to think.
This line, which comes from a scene that we've already established is a deliberate act to mislead someone, cannot be used as evidence of Aventurine's real situation within the IPC.
"But then what about the trial scene with Jade?!" I already hear people saying. "Aventurine was definitely going to be sentenced to death!"
I'm not arguing that death wasn't a possible option for Kakavasha initially; it's clear that committing severe enough crimes can earn you the death penalty in Star Rail's universe. But I think we need to take another good look at this scene and see what really happened here.
First, we need to clarify that this scene with Jade was not an actual trial. The scene begins with a broadcast which clarifies that the suspect in the "Egyhazo-Aventurine Fraud Case" was just caught, and the IPC are conducting investigations into the "motive of the suspect."
So Jade's scene with Aventurine is not an actual trial (I mean... Jade's not even legally a judge!); it's an investigation with the goal of determining why Kakavasha would have tried to scam the Intelligentsia Guild and IPC at Egyhazo.
We can confirm that this scene with Jade is not an actual trial because she is even says "We haven't been able to find you any defense [lawyer], so you perhaps will have to defend yourself."
To which Aventurine responds that he easily could defend himself from the charges--but that it's pointless to do so. Why? Because he never intends to get to a trial in the first place.
He's there to gamble with Diamond (who he asks to see right on the spot, indicating that he's done his research in advance and knows who the head honcho he needs to talk to is). Instead, Jade says that he'll have to gamble with her, to which he agrees, and lays down his terms.
(He even says "I bet you won't send me to the gallows." We know that Kakavasha always wins his bets--he bet she won't send him off to a trial to be executed, and he once again won his bet!)
Jade, known for picking out "unpolished stones with great potential" and promoting them into positions of power to extract their value, agrees immediately, and literally tells Kakavasha to go change his clothes right then and there. She really said "I like your confidence; you're hired on the spot."
So... This was not a trial, Kakavasha never went on trial, and because he never went on trial, we have zero evidence in-game that he was ever sentenced to anything.
The IPC doesn't give a shit about the murder of some no-name slaver (I mean come on, think of how many other murders they've covered up at this point--do you really think they're holding one past murder of a no-name NPC over Aventurine's head years later?).
They might give a shit about the money they lost on Kakavasha's schemes, but Jade's entire schtick is one of equivalence--having Kakavasha join the IPC as a Stoneheart means he will ultimately generate infinitely more wealth for them than his schemes ever cost them in the first place, and that's the central piece of Jade's statement in this scene:
Is Aventurine's whole role in the Stonehearts exploitative, focused on his endless ability to win bets and generate profit? YUP. But that's ALL the Stonehearts' goal at this point--he's not unique in being "exploited" for his value. One look at Topaz confirms that.
So, ultimately, we have no evidence that Kakavasha was ever sentenced for his crimes, let alone that he was sentenced to die specifically by the IPC.
Claim #2: The Stonehearts will execute Aventurine if he tries to leave or fails his mission(s).
Verdict: There's no actual evidence for this either, beyond the obvious that most people in a powerful enough position in an evil corporation probably can't just up and quit their jobs without consequences.
I've seen this idea that the Stonehearts are planning to execute Aventurine--either for his past crimes, for failing a mission, or for trying to leave the IPC--many, many places, and unfortunately, I really think people are reaching this conclusion strictly on "The IPC is evil" vibes alone.
The IPC is evil; they coerce nice people like Topaz to buying into lifelong contracts; they're colonizers and exploitative capitalists, so of course they would threaten to execute poor innocent Aventurine!
Look, I won't defend the IPC. They are evil. But post hoc, ergo proctor hoc--just because one thing is true, doesn't mean the other statement naturally follows.
Just because the IPC is evil and exploitative (and probably does kill people to shut them up) does not automatically mean they're out to execute Aventurine for the slightest mishap.
I've seen many people say "He was going to be executed for his past crimes, so what do you think will happen if he tries to leave the Stonehearts?" But A) We just established he never went to trial for those past crimes in the first place, so we have no idea if he would have actually been sentenced to death anyway, and B) We have no evidence in-game that any of Kakavasha's past crimes would be back on the table if he were to try to quit the IPC. This is literally just fanon, based on the vibes of the IPC being evil alone. Probably informed by Topaz's "lifelong contract" situation giving people the impression that everyone who works for the IPC has to have a lifelong contract.
What evidence do we have that Aventurine is not at-risk of being executed for screwing up a mission? I mean, Aventurine himself says it. When Jade first states that Aventurine might be punished for destroying a Cornerstone, the only two possible punishments he states are:
If execution was on the table, wouldn't that have been the first punishment Aventurine listed?
And Jade's myriad celestia trailer also states that the only punishment on the table is whether Aventurine will be expelled from the Stonehearts:
And the biggest proof that execution isn't on the table?
The fact that Diamond himself agrees that Aventurine should not be punished even for the serious act of willingly breaking a Cornerstone. If Aventurine can do something as serious as breaking part of Qlipoth's will and body, something he was told to treasure more than his own life, and still get away with it... You can bet the IPC really does not give a shit about his old schemes anymore. Aventurine is way too valuable alive for them to be constantly threatening to kill him.
(But then what about Obsidian's statement that she wants a "bloodbath"? Surely that's evidence that he would have died if they voted against him?
First of all, "bloodbath" is a pretty common metaphorical term. I don't know about you, but any time people get into big drama at my work, this term comes up ["They were all talking shit; it was a total bloodbath"]. "Bloodbath" can mean any intense struggle; it's often not literal death.
However, I'm inclined in this case to say that the real reason Hoyo threw in this "bloodbath" line was just to double down on Obsidian's obvious vampire aesthetic. She's a "vampire." Duh, of course she needs to say something about blood. I think this line speaks more to establishing Obsidian's character as a violent, self-centered person than anything to do with Aventurine's actual situation.)
So, there is no actual evidence in the game that Aventurine is still being held accountable for his past crimes, or that the IPC is planning to execute him for messing up on a mission.
In fact, there are several pieces of evidence in the story suggesting the opposite, that multiple people, including the other Stonehearts, think he's kind of crazy for trying to get himself killed every mission he goes on.
When Aventurine was affected by the Harmony's power, the "future" Aventurine asks him this directly.
"Why does every one of your schemes put your own life at risk?" And players are told the answer to that isn't because of the IPC--it's not because the Stonehearts are out here forcing Aventurine to gamble with his life. When the "Future" Aventurine suggests Aventurine might be taking these risks because of the IPC, real Aventurine flat out says "You don't know me at all." He's not taking the risks for the IPC--he's taking them for himself.
Later, "Future" Aventurine even says that if Aventurine just used tactics like Opal's--which he claims Aventurine could easily do--then he would have been able to claim Penacony for the IPC without putting himself at risk at all. But Aventurine chose not to do that; he chose "death."
Because Aventurine is actually, at least slightly, suicidal. I don't personally think Aventurine would ever have turned a fully-loaded gun on himself and pulled the trigger, but he was actively seeking opportunities to die. Before Penacony ended, he was deliberately putting himself into situations where his life was at risk, taking unnecessary gambles with his life on the line--because then he would win either way. If he won the gamble, he would get whatever prize was promised, and if he lost the gamble, then he would have the "freedom" of death, to be reunited with his family. (It's important to note that the only time the word "freedom" is used in Aventurine's story through 2.1 is in direct reference to death--it is never used in reference to getting "free" from the IPC.)
Aventurine's plans were not self-destructive because of the IPC. They were self-destructive because he was self-destructive. And, in fact, multiple other members of the Stonehearts call out this behavior as a bad thing.
Jade describes Aventurine's ploy in Penacony as "overplaying his hand."
Topaz describes Aventurine's work habits as:
Then there's even Sugilite, who clocks Aventurine's suicidal tendency directly by stating that Aventurine's "death" scheme in Penacony wasn't for the IPC at all--it was entirely for himself.
If the Stonehearts were holding execution over Aventurine's head at all times, why would death be an "unnecessary [personal] extravagance"?
The takeaway from all the other Stonehearts' dialogue about Aventurine is that they actually think he goes too far and that his methods are more risky with his own life than they need to be.
Does that sound like a group of people who are planning to kill him on the drop of the hat?
Okay, okay, I can hear you saying "But that still doesn't mean he can leave the Stonehearts without consequences. They would kill him if he tried to leave."
To that I say: A) There's no actual in-game evidence for that statement; it's literally just "IPC is evil so they definitely would do this" vibes, but B) Is that statement really unique to Aventurine? Do you think Topaz could leave the Stonehearts without consequences? Do you think Jade could just fuck off and leave the IPC if she got the desire to?
It's pretty typical, I would think, that anyone who achieves a high-ranking in a stereotypical "evil capitalist mega-corporation" is not free to just abandon their high up position without consequences. The phrase "You know too much" comes to mind.
I'd argue that people are probably right--Aventurine probably could not leave the Stonehearts without something severe happening, at the very least a memory wipe--but that this is probably true of all the Stonehearts. They're too far up the chain. They know too much about the inner-workings of the literal planet-destroying world-domination company. They've had too much access to insider info to easily leave their positions.
Not being able to easily leave the position has nothing to do with Aventurine personally or his past crimes. It's just (at least likely) a basic fact of being too high up in the morally-grey-at-best super organization. (Well, then again, apparently no one even knows if Agate is dead or not, so maybe they actually don't even care lol.)
Claim #3: Aventurine didn't want to join the IPC; he's working with the IPC only because he's forced to.
Verdict: The game suggests in several places that Aventurine joined the IPC of his own free will. Whether he's still loyal to them is not 100% clear.
I think this is the biggest question mark I'm left with when reading other people's posts about Aventurine--this enduring idea that Aventurine never wanted to join the IPC and was only forced to do so because he was captured and death was his only other option.
But that is literally not what the game is telling us at all. The game tells us--in multiple places--that Aventurine orchestrated his own circumstances so that he could gain an audience with Diamond and win a position within the Stonehearts by his own gambles.
First, let's re-examine that scene with Jade. One of the first things Jade says is "What kind of person would come up with a scheme [the Egyhazo fraud] that doesn't benefit them in any way?"
The takeaway from this is that Kakavasha did not actually stand to gain anything from scamming the Intelligentsia Guild into digging for Tayzzyronth's remains in the desert at Egyhazo. All he achieved with this fraud was putting himself at risk of being caught by the IPC.
Does that sound like Aventurine to you? The guy whose mantra is literally:
So obviously, Aventurine stood to gain something from scamming the IPC at Egyhazo. What could he possibly have wanted to achieve by creating a scheme that seemingly didn't directly benefit him? Well, he says it himself:
Aventurine wanted to be brought before the IPC. He got caught on purpose. He once again gambled with his own life, betting that, instead of being put on trial for all his past crimes, he could convince Diamond (though it ended up being Jade) to invest in him. The game literally tells you, in multiple places, that Aventurine was taking another one of his stereotypically crazy, potentially self-destructive gambles to try to achieve something:
Aventurine wanted the IPC to invest in him. He wanted in on their power and wealth. No one in the IPC forced him to target their organization not once but twice with his "desert-digging schemes" when it is clear that Aventurine could easily make money elsewhere. No one forced him to suggest this gamble with Jade to convince the IPC to invest in him. No one forced him to, in the words of the game itself, "seek a Cornerstone."
Aventurine's character stories are the only indications we have (for now) about what his motivations for joining the IPC might have been:
They suggest he joined with the intention of gaining wealth and power to help his people and others who aided him in the past--only to find out that that was no longer possible, invalidating his original reason for joining and likely leaving him without motivation or will to really even stay in the powerful position he had worked to get into. Part of his suicidality is likely linked to this--that he set himself a massive, unbelievable goal in an attempt to gain power and wealth to finally help his people--only to be entirely too late. But in any case, these character stories make it clear that he did personally seek to join the IPC of his own free will.
(And I mean, hello? The whole point of Jade as a character is being the one who sees people's desires and then grants them--ergo, Aventurine's desire was, in fact, to join the IPC himself.)
If we needed any more corroborating evidence for this, just consider everything post-Penacony, when Aventurine has decided that he does actually value his life now and wants to live. Aventurine would have had so many chances to "escape" the IPC if he so chose. First, he could easily have pretended to actually die within the Nihility. He could have entirely fucked off with Argenti's help, created a new identity, and made himself a pile of independent wealth from gambles, all without the IPC ever knowing where he went. But he didn't.
Then, he had a second chance to betray the IPC and fuck off again with Boothill's help. Boothill had already knocked out Aventurine's bodyguards at the door--there was literally no one else around. A little blood on the floor and no one would have doubted that the IPC-hating, wanted vigilante Boothill had done away with Aventurine.
Hell, Aventurine knows the Trailblazer. One word to the Trailblazer, and Aventurine could board the Astral Express and be whisked off to the other side of the universe.
But none of those things happened. Aventurine made no effort to remove himself from the IPC--even though he knew he had broken a Cornerstone and would be facing possible punishment. He didn't even make a single mention of trying to "escape" the IPC at all.
Because he isn't trying to.
(And edit, an addendum, because I kept seeing this on Twitter too: A bunch of people were claiming that because Aventurine wasn't smiling when he got his Cornerstone back, that was evidence that he hates the IPC and doesn't want to be there:
Like... did they forget that every single time Aventurine makes his major gambles, he has such anxiety that he can never convince himself to believe he'll actually win, to the point that the "Future" Aventurine accuses him of clenching his trembling hand beneath the table? Is it really that surprising that someone who never actually believes he's going to win would have a shocked face when he does win here, especially after witnessing the literal power of an aeon restore something he thought was broken forever? Come on now...)
Would the guy who always wins his gambles bet that he would get a promotion if he absolutely didn't want his job?
People really, really seem to struggle with this aspect of Aventurine's character, going out of their way to ignore the game's text and suggest that he definitely absolutely would never, ever have joined the IPC of his own free will. People really hate the idea that Aventurine is a morally-grey character who makes choices that are actively harmful to himself, like willingly joining an organization that is exploiting him.
Knowing that the IPC played a part in the Avgin extinction, people literally cannot fathom that Aventurine would willingly join them.
But I think that denying this part of Aventurine's character is bad. There's no need to reduce Aventurine to an innocent, helpless victim who is being exploited against his will and who would never do a single evil thing himself. That's not who the game is telling us he is.
The game tells us, repeatedly, that Aventurine is a survivor who will do whatever it takes to succeed at whatever he sets his mind to--even up to murdering innocent people to survive himself. Up to willingly joining the IPC to seek wealth and power. He's not a 100% good person who is still being forced through an existence he has no control over.
He's a self-destructive gambler who makes terrible choices with his own life, and willingly joining the IPC to let the Stonehearts exploit his abilities is one of the most obvious indications of that in the game.
Please stop denying Aventurine his complex, three-dimensional character writing to make him your pure, innocent trauma woobie. I'm begging people.
Claim #4: Aventurine wants revenge on Oswaldo Schneider.
Verdict: There's no evidence in the game (yet) that Aventurine is even aware of Oswaldo Schneider's role in the Avgin extinction, let alone actively trying to seek revenge for it.
Personally, this one hurts me the most, because this is where I'd like to see the story going. I want it to be that Aventurine was partially motivated to join the IPC specifically to orchestrate an inside job and get the Avgins' revenge on Oswaldo Schneider.
But even I have to admit that there's currently no evidence for this at all in the story.
For one, we have no confirmation in-game that Aventurine actually knows Schneider's direct role in the Avgin extinction. Aventurine clearly knows that the IPC could have intervened (he was there; he saw they didn't do anything), but we have no actual confirmation in the game's text that Aventurine knows Schneider told his people not to get involved, leading to the massacre. The only reason we players know of this is relic text, which isn't available canonically to characters in the game.
It is very likely that Aventurine is smart enough to figure this out or do the research to learn it, but as of right now, we don't have that confirmation in game.
Similarly, we players are given no access to Aventurine's actual conversations with Boothill. We have no idea what they talked about other than this one statement:
It seems likely, based on this, that Aventurine did say something to Boothill about being willing to go after Oswaldo Schneider, but we won't know for sure until the game reveals more.
What we do know is that even if Aventurine does give Boothill information on Oswaldo, it might not really be because Aventurine wants personal revenge.
Oswaldo's Marketing Development Department is basically the sworn enemy of the Stonehearts' Strategic Investment Department. The two groups are in an internal cold war, vying for "votes" from the seven board members who are actually leading the IPC.
So even if we see Aventurine taking actions against Oswaldo, it might not be because of a personal grudge, but because literally Aventurine's entire department hates Oswaldo Schneider's guts on principle in the first place.
So it's very difficult to say what is going on with Aventurine and Oswaldo Schneider at this point, and in the end, we just need to wait for more information.
Phew, all right! That was definitely long enough. I've gotten it all off my chest. I hope I've managed to give people some more canon material to chew on for another look at Aventurine's character, which is rich and complex and definitely cannot be reduced to simply "pure innocent victim babygirl."
Maybe now I'll be a little less salty when I see misinformation spreading like a wildfire again on Twitter.
Maybe.
Ha ha, who am I kidding.
#honkai star rail#aventurine#interastral peace corporation#jade hsr#ten stonehearts#IPC#character analysis#fanon versus canon#who can I PAY to stop seeing terrible takes on twitter#this hot take almost got me cancelled on twitter#so I got so spicy I had to write a whole ass essay#please let Aventurine be the morally grey complicated character he is#I promise that is just as good as being babygirl#lol
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Worth It? Or Not? (Alexia Putellas x Reader)
Hi guys! It's been too long. Please enjoy this long ramble that slightly resembles writing đ. I have a few more things written and I am trying to finish Chica for you all. Happy weekend.
It was a new season, and you were so ready for what it was going to throw at you. The last season you participated in had been your best yet you think, although that was most likely due to the fact that it was your first with your girlfriend. You and Alexia had been dancing around your feeling for each other for a few years and in the off-season last year the older woman had finally asked you out. By the time the season just gone had started you were already official, and it had made last year that much more special. You got to share your achievements with the one you loved and that really was wonderful.
Now for a new season and possibly a new step for your relationship with Alexia, she had been hinting at moving in together for the last few weeks. Little off hand comments like âThat would look nice in a master bedroom.â And âI wonder if we would have a feature wall if we had our own living space.â You thought it was about time you started hinting back. You needed to be sure it was something she actually wanted before you out right asked her if she was ready to move in together.
You were currently waiting for Aitana to pick you up, Alexia had to be in earlier than everyone else this morning for a meeting and so you had slept separately, at your own apartments last night. This was the first time in weeks that you could remember not sharing a bed with the older woman. She said she didnât want to wake you as early as she needed to be up and after trying to argue with her for 10 minutes you had given up, she just wasnât getting that you would happily wake up early if it meant spending the extra time with her.
âSo why do I have to come get your whipped ass? Whereâs the wifey?â You rolled your eyes at the woman as you climbed into the passenger seat of her car. Aitana had been one of the first people you had talked to about your crush on Alexia and now the slightly younger woman took every opportunity she could to tease you about your obvious love for the team captain.
âIâm telling her you called her that, but in answer to your poorly asked question, she had an early meeting and didnât want to wake me up at the early time she had to be up.â You shrugged your shoulders in a gesture you knew was for your benefit not hers, you had been up half the night letting your anxiety get the best of you.
âItâs Alexia, you know her, she is probably just nervous for the new season and how the new signings will fit in.â You knew that Aitana was most likely right but you also couldnât shake the creeping feeling that she was already getting bored of being with you. You knew you shouldnât let these thoughts get the better of you but that was easier to say than actually do, it wasnât that you doubted Alexia at all, it was more your growing anxiety over your own worth in your head. In fact you knew it was you and your head and that just made it even more frustrating, it was another thing that made you question yourself.
âYeah, you are probably right, she has been feeling the captain pressure a lot over the last week or so. She has been watching tapes of the new girls and talking a lot with the staff after weights. Sometimes I wish she would just switch off from work and be a little more present with me, but sheâs Alexia queen of Barca. She puts 110% into this club and thatâs what I signed up for happily.â
After that the conversation switched to a lighter topic and by the time you pulled up at the training ground you were feeling a lot lighter and laughing with one of your best friends. Any thoughts of Alexia not wanting you any more were long gone and all you wanted to do now was get your cleats on. Football would always be a great escape for you, it was like your mind could relax whilst you had a ball at your feet.
After getting ready in the changing room, without the appearance of your love, you headed out with the rest of the girls to find Alexia in the middle of the field with another woman you didnât recognise. Your attention was pulled from them when Pere spoke, âOkay ladies, we have a new signing starting with us today. Alexia has been getting to know her a little bit so itâs easier for her to settle in. Please be welcoming.â You all nodded your heads in agreement and followed him over to the two women.
âHi itâs nice to meet you all, Iâm Chloe.â You could tell the woman was nervous and so could Alexia as she moved everyone onto warm-ups rather quickly. Over the course of the session everyone introduced themselves to the new girl individually so that she felt as comfortable as possible.
You had just got out of the shower and was putting the last items in your bag when Alexia approached you for the first time today. âHola, can I ask you for a favour por favor?â You could tell she was sort of in a hurry by the lack of affection she gave you. You would normally at least get a peck to the cheek, but she barely even got close enough to you for you to hear her properly.
âSi of course.â You would do anything for the woman in front of you and everyone knew it.
âIâm taking Chloe out to see the city so she knows her way around a bit better, but I didnât get to walk Nala this morning. Can you run round mine and do it for me? I asked Alba but she is working.â There was a lot to pick out of that passage of one-sided conversation. First you were hurt that she had gone to Alba first when Nala was like your own dog too. Second, she must have forgotten your lunch plans with Claudia and Patri that had been made a while back and you knew was on her calendar as you put it there. Something you decided not to bring up, she was just trying to help the new girl settle in you understood that.
âYes of course. Do you want me to make dinner tonight?â You thought at least you could have some time with her that evening being as youâve barely interacted all day.
âI wonât be back for dinner, I told Chloe I would help her sort her apartment out after showing her the sights. I donât know what time Iâll be back y/n so maybe we should sleep in our own apartments again tonight.â You really didnât know what to say to this, so you just nodded. You got a lot of the womenâs time, so you didnât think it was fair for you to be upset over a couple days, especially not when she was just trying to help someone out.
âOkay, Iâll see you at training tomorrow then.â You turned round and walked out of training with a slight weight on your chest and your mind running with thoughts you wish you didnât have.
After you walked Nala and dropped her back into Alexiaâs apartment, an apartment that started to feel like your own until the last 24 hours. Part of you knew this was silly to think but you couldnât help it, you are always an overthinker and this was something that you struggled with. You didnât even take the time to make sure Nala was settled you just open the door let her in, checked her water bowl was full and left again. Being there just felt wrong today. Deciding that your mood was really not good enough to go out and have a lunch with your two friends you texted Patri to cancel, and after assuring her you were okay just a little extra tired today, she wished you a good evening and said she would pick you up for training if you needed the next morning.
An offer you ended up taking when your texts to Alexia the next morning went unanswered. You were tired and starting to get a little annoyed with the older woman, you were trying to reason as to why she wasnât replying to your texts and even when she did it was so spaced out it felt like she didnât care or want to talk to you. You were trying to change that thought process, but it was hard when thatâs where your mind had gone.
âHola, you donât look so good. Should you be coming to training.â Patriâs concerned voice almost sent you into a wave of sobs, but you held it together, your thoughts were stupid so you know you couldnât show you were sad. You didnât want Patri to think you were an idiot for the way you were feeling about your current situation, if it was even a situation.
âIâm just tired Pats, Iâve not slept well the last few nights and I think its just caught up to me a bit today.â You sighed in relief when she didnât push you any further just gave you a once over and then pulled away from the outside of your apartment complex.
You were hoping the journey to training would help your mood and thoughts, but it didnât much. Patri tried her best to cheer you up and you really appreciated the younger womanâs efforts, but you were struggling. You made your way into the changing room behind your best friend and didnât both to look up as you made your way to your cubby. You placed your stuff down and changed into your boots, leaving the changing room straight after as the first out.
You decided some air and keepy ups might help sort your head out before training. Pere and the staff were out setting up when you went to ask for a ball, they gladly gave you one and you headed to the far end of the field to have your space. The sun beating down on you felt good and a ball at your feet always helped.
Your peace was short lived as you heard the chatter of the rest of the girls and Pere calling you all in. You grabbed your ball and headed over, looking at the group for the first time. What you saw hurt your heart more than you would say to anyone, Alexia was stood near Pere like normal. That obviously wasnât the upsetting part, the upsetting part was that Chloe was pretty much pressed against Ale. You tried not to look too long or think too much but you struggled. You really struggled.
Training started and your thoughts just kept going. You couldnât concentrate, you couldnât pass right, your touches were off and none of the shots you took even went close to the goal. By the end of the first half of training everyone could tell something wasnât okay with you, so much so that Pere called you over in the drinks break.
âWhatâs up today? This is very unlike you. If your sick you should have just let us know I donât want to see you get injured if you are pushing yourself too much and then end up being out for longer than you need to be. Health is important y/n.â The way he said it wasnât scolding which you were thankful for, you were slightly worried that he would be annoyed with you for your performance.
âIâm sorry coach. Iâm not feeling my best today, I thought Iâd be okay to train but I think maybe I was wrong.â You wouldnât normally miss training unless really necessary, but you were too far gone mentally and staying here wasnât what you needed right now.
âThatâs okay some days we just need the break and to rest. Go home and we will see you hopefully tomorrow. Please pop and see the medical staff on the way out to check in with them.â With that he patted your shoulder and went back to call the team back to training.
As you walked past the group Patri caught your eye and gave you the are you okay look. You waved her off with a half-smile and continued to the changing rooms. You decided that a shower at home would be the best for you and so just changed your shoes, grabbed your stuff and headed to the medical room.
They just did some basic checks on your temperature and blood pressure before sending you off with the promise to come in first thing tomorrow if you were planning on training just to have another check before you did.
You half expected Alexia to be waiting for you outside the medical room when you walked out but she wasnât. You walked out of the grounds to remember that you got a lift, you were just about to walk home when your name was called. For a second your body warmed thinking it was who you really wanted it to be before your shoulders slump slightly. You knew that was Patri.
âIâll drive you home come on.â You didnât argue you just hopped in the passenger seat. You were quiet the whole way back to your place, the only words you said to the younger woman was thank you when you got out the car.
You took your shower turning the water to as hot as you could handle. Going for comfort after that you changed into your (Alexias) comfiest hoodie and a pair of tracksuits that you really werenât sure whose they were. You settled yourself onto your sofa and turned on a random old show you didnât need to concentrate on.
You have no idea when you fell asleep, but you must have at some point because you were blinking yourself awake in the now pitch blackness of your living space. The only light you had was coming from your phone on the table that you now realised was ringing and must have been the reason you were currently waking up.
You reached over to grab it off the table to see who it was, glancing at the screen you were faced with your favourite photo you had ever taken. Ale had this smile that reached her eyes as she stared at you through the camera, it was taken last month when you were on vacation before the season was due to start.
You were stuck in a sort of daze so you didnât answer the call, after it rang off you were faced with 5 miss calls from the woman. You noticed the time, you had missed lunch and dinner. You almost missed bedtime if you were being truthful to yourself, so you got up off the sofa and turned the tv off. You grabbed your phone again and headed to your bathroom to clean your teeth and get into your pjs. Once in bed you called Alexia back, who picked up after a couple rings.
âY/n where did you go? Why did you miss training?â Her words were rushed as soon as she answered, which you felt a little bad about as she had been trying to get hold of you for a while now.
You took a deep breath, trying to organize your thoughts before answering Alexiaâs question. You could hear the concern in her voice, which only made your heart ache more. It wasnât anger or frustrationâit was genuine worry. And yet, the events of the past couple of days had left you feeling vulnerable and disconnected.
âI wasnât feeling well,â you started quietly, not wanting your voice to crack. âPere told me to go home, and I guess I just needed some time to rest. Iâm sorry I didnât answer your calls before I fell asleep on the sofa.â
There was a pause on the other end of the line. You could hear Alexia shifting slightly, probably trying to figure out the right words. She was good at taking a moment to make sure she said the correct thing, that she said everything she wanted and in a way that would be understood for what it was.
âI wouldâve come with you if I knew,â she said softly. âWhy didnât you talk to me? Or at least text me when you got home?â
âI did try to talk to you,â you replied, a bit sharper than you intended. You quickly softened your tone before continuing. âI was going to tell you before I left the training grounds but when I went to go over, I saw you were in a conversation with Chloe and I didnât want to interrupt. I know what making her feel welcome into the team means to you so I just left, Patri dropped me home.â
Alexia was silent again, and you hated that your mind immediately went back to the image of Chloe standing so close to her earlier. You knew it was unreasonable to feel threatened, but the distance youâd been feeling from Alexia over the last couple of days was making everything worse. You knew Alexia and you knew that if she was even thinking about someone else in the way she thought about you, she would end things. It was a conversation the both of you had had very early in the relationship, it was better to say and end things than cause more heartache with something like cheating.
âYouâre right,â she finally said. âIâve been caught up with the new signings, especially Chloe. I wanted to help her settle in, but I didnât realize I was neglecting you in the process.â
You felt a lump forming in your throat as you listened to her. The fact that she acknowledged it made you feel a bit better, but it didnât completely erase the weight that had been sitting on your chest. It still has happened.
âI get it, Ale. Youâre the captain, and youâve got responsibilities, butâŠâ You trailed off, not sure how to express what you were feeling without coming across as needy or insecure.
âBut what?â she asked gently, encouraging you to keep going.
âI just⊠I donât know. It feels like we havenât really been us these past few days. Like weâre slipping apart, and I donât want that.â
Alexia sighed softly, and you could almost picture her rubbing the back of her neck the way she always did when she was thinking hard about something.
âI donât want that either,â she said after a moment. âIâm sorry, really. Iâve been so focused on the new season and everything happening with the team that I havenât been present with you. Thatâs not fair.â
Tears stung your eyes at her words. You hated that you had been feeling so anxious and unsure about where you stood with her. The logical part of your brain knew that Alexia loved you deeply, but sometimes, your emotions got the better of you.
âI just miss you,â you whispered, finally letting a bit of the hurt spill out.
âI miss you too,â she replied, her voice soft but firm. âI promise, when I get back, weâll spend some real time together. Just the two of us.â
You wanted to believe her, to hold onto the comfort her words should have brought you, but as you lay there, phone pressed to your ear, something still felt off. The doubts that had been swirling in your mind all day didnât vanishâthey just simmered beneath the surface, waiting for another moment to creep back in. You tried to smile, to let her words sink in, but it felt hollow.
"Okay," you whispered, your voice weaker than you intended. There was a pause on the line, and for a second, you wondered if she could hear the uncertainty that was sitting heavy on your chest.
âIâll see you tomorrow, okay? Get some rest. I love you,â Alexia said, her tone soft but distant, and somehow it made you feel even worse.
âI love you too, Ale,â you replied automatically, though the words felt like they got caught in your throat. You wanted to believe them, wanted to believe her. But as you hung up the phone, the heavy silence in your room returned, and with it, the creeping feeling that maybe things werenât as solid as you hoped.
You curled up under the covers, pulling them tighter around you, but instead of the calm you craved, a lingering unease settled deep in your chest. The conversation hadnât been enough to ease your mind, and the distance between you two felt more real than ever. Alexia cared, you knew that, but it didnât stop the doubts from pulling you under.
As much as you tried to push it aside, the little voice in your head that had been whispering insecurities all day grew louder. What if sheâs getting tired of me? What if this distance between us is because she doesnât want to be with me anymore? The more you thought about it, the more it felt like Alexia was slipping away, even though sheâd just promised to spend more time with you. The doubts began to swirl again, faster now, and the pit in your stomach deepened.
Sure, Alexia had apologized, but what if it wasnât just about her being busy with the new signings? What if she was using that as an excuse? You started picking apart every little detail from the past few daysâhow she barely interacted with you this morning, how she chose to spend time with Chloe instead of you, how easily sheâd forgotten your plans for lunch with Patri and Claudia. Maybe she wasnât as invested in the relationship anymore. Maybe she was realizing that being with you wasnât what she wanted.
You buried your face in your pillow, fighting the creeping sense of rejection. No, this is just the anxiety talking. She loves you. She said she loves you, you reminded yourself, but it felt like a hollow reassurance. Even as you repeated it, the lingering doubt wouldnât leave you. You wanted so badly to believe her words, to take them at face value, but the overthinking was louder than reason right now.
The phone in your hand vibrated again, pulling you out of your spiral for a moment. Alexia had sent you a text: I really donât like how we left things. Can I come over? Iâll bring dinner. We can talk.
Your heart skipped at the message. On one hand, you wanted her here. You wanted her arms around you, her presence to quiet the storm in your mind. But on the other hand, you felt like having her here would only make your insecurities worse. What if she could see right through you? What if she could tell that you werenât okay, that you doubted her? What if she was already tired of dealing with your anxieties, your overthinking?
Before you could stop yourself, you typed back: I think itâs better if I stay alone tonight. I might be getting sick, and I donât want to give you anything. Youâve got enough on your plate with the new season and all.
You stared at the message, second-guessing every word. It wasnât entirely a lieâyou did feel off, emotionally and physically, but that wasnât the real reason you didnât want her to come over. You were scared. Scared that spending time with her would only confirm the worst of your fears. That she was growing tired of you, tired of your relationship.
After a few moments, your phone buzzed again with Alexiaâs response: Are you sure? I can bring soup or tea, whatever you need. I donât mind at all.
Her willingness to drop everything and come over only made you feel worse. How could you doubt someone who was so thoughtful, so caring? But the voice in your head persistedâwhat if she was just doing this out of obligation? What if she felt guilty? It wasnât long before you convinced yourself that Alexia was only offering out of a sense of duty, not because she actually wanted to be with you tonight.
Yeah, Iâm sure. You replied, forcing yourself to hit send before you could change your mind. Iâll be fine. Just need some rest.
You stared at your phone, waiting for her response, hoping she would fight harder to come over, hoping she would insist. But her next message came quickly, and it felt like a punch to the gut. Okay, rest up. Let me know if you need anything, cariño. Iâll see you tomorrow at training.
Simple. Kind. But it wasnât the push you had been hoping for. She wasnât coming over. Maybe she was relieved, you thought bitterly. Maybe she didnât actually want to spend time with you after all. You hated that your mind kept going there, but the doubts kept clawing at you, relentless and cruel.
Curling up tighter in your bed, you told yourself that some space was good. Maybe tomorrow would be better, maybe by then, youâd feel less overwhelmed, and Alexia would feel closer again. But as you lay there, staring at the ceiling in the dark, the weight of your insecurities was heavier than ever. You didnât want to lose her, but right now, it felt like thatâs exactly what was happening, and there was nothing you could do to stop it.
you need anything. I love you. Get some good sleep, okay?
You read the message over and over, feeling a strange mix of relief and disappointment. Relief, because Alexia wasnât pushing you to talk when you didnât feel ready. Disappointment, because a part of you had hoped she would sense your need for more; more reassurance, more connection, more confirmation that everything between you two was still okay. But she didnât press further, and that left you with an emptiness that was hard to shake. Part of you knew that was silly, she had texted after your call and that should have helped but it just left you with a half full feeling. Like you were only worth that small extra effort.
As you lay there, your mind kept spiralling. You wanted to believe that this was just a rough patch, a phase, something that would pass after the season got into full swing. But the fear that something had shifted between you and Alexia lingered. You tried to push it away, to focus on the fact that she had said she loved you, that she was willing to drop everything for you. But the overthinking kept creeping back, whispering that maybe this was the beginning of the end.
You closed your eyes, pulling the blankets tighter around you, willing yourself to sleep. But even as exhaustion tugged at your body, your mind wouldnât let go of the nagging doubts. You kept replaying the last few days in your head, every moment where Alexia had seemed distant, every conversation that had felt stilted or rushed. You hated how insecure it made you feel, but you couldnât help it.
Alexia sits on the edge of her bed, staring at her phone, fingers hovering over the screen. She wants to call you, wants to check in, but hesitates. Thereâs a lump in her throat, a weight in her chest that wonât shift. Youâd asked her for space, asked her not to hover, and sheâs been trying, really trying, to respect that. But itâs hard. Itâs so damn hard. It feels wrong to stay away, especially when she knows youâre not feeling well.
She runs a hand through her hair, frustrated with herself. Sheâs been distant lately and she understands that sheâs not been around as much as she should have. Training, media obligations, new signings, everythingâs been pulling her in different directions, and now, when you need her the most, sheâs afraid sheâs failing you. Alexiaâs not used to feeling this way, like sheâs not enough. But here she is, second-guessing everything and wondering why she let it get to this point.
What if you donât even want her around anymore?
The thought hits her harder than she expects, and she feels a pang of guilt. You deserve someone better, someone who can be there, be present, and sheâs been anything but lately. And now, with you sick, the fear creeps in even more. She worries that her attempts to give you space that you asked for might just be making things worse, that you might feel abandoned, even if thatâs the last thing she ever wanted.
She presses her palms against her knees, trying to calm the whirlwind in her mind. The idea that she might not be enough, that she might not be the perfect girlfriend you deserve, gnaws at her. Sheâs scared sheâs messing this up, that every move she makes might be the wrong one.
What if sheâs not what you need right now? What if sheâs been too caught up in her own world, too wrapped up in everything else to see whatâs really going on with you?
Her phone buzzes, and for a moment, she thinks about texting you. But what would she even say? She feels torn, pulled between wanting to rush to your side and the fear that doing so would push you away.
She exhales sharply, setting the phone down, her hands now trembling slightly. She loves you, that much is very clear to her. But loving you and being there for you the way you deserve; it feels like two different things right now. Sheâs scared of being inadequate, of not living up to what you need.
In her heart, she wants to be the perfect girlfriend for you, the one who knows how to navigate all this with ease. Wants to know what you need without you having to say, wants to show you that there isnât anyone better for you than her. But sheâs scared, scared that sheâs already failed.
That night, Alexia drives to your place. The streets are quiet, dimly lit by the occasional streetlamp, and the familiar route feels strange tonight, like sheâs seeing it through a different lens. Her heart races the closer she gets, hands gripping the steering wheel tighter than usual.
When she finally pulls up outside, she kills the engine but doesnât move. The silence in the car feels thick, almost oppressive, like it's pressing down on her chest. She knows she should get out, knock on your door, and just be there for you. Itâs why she came, after all. But something keeps her glued to the driverâs seat, eyes fixed on the dashboard, mind spinning with uncertainty.
What if you donât want her here?
She takes a deep breath and glances up at your window. The lights are off, maybe youâre already asleep, maybe youâve had a long day. Her mind starts to drift even further. Maybe sheâs too late. But even if you're still awake, thereâs that nagging voice in her head that tells her sheâs crossing a line, that youâd rather be alone. That she should have done this a few days ago not now, not when you asked her to stay away.
I shouldnât have come.
She exhales, her fingers fidgeting with the edge of her jacket. Every part of her wants to be close to you, to show up the way she should have sooner. She even reaches for the door handle, her heart pounding as she tells herself, Just get out, Ale. Just go inside and talk to her. Be there for her.
But her grip on the handle loosens, and she pulls her hand back.
What if showing up makes things worse? What if youâre still upset, still needing space, and all she does by being here is prove that she canât respect that?
She closes her eyes for a moment, willing the doubts away, but they only get louder. Sheâs scared, scared that youâll see right through her. Scared that, no matter how hard she tries, sheâs already failed you.
With a frustrated sigh, she pushes the door open and steps out of the car. The night air hits her, cool and crisp, and she stands there, staring at your front door. Her feet move her a few steps closer, but then she stops, frozen halfway across the street. To any passerby she would look slightly crazy, standing in the middle of the street, car door open behind her and staring at a closed door. But alexia didnât care, she couldnât think about anything else other than you.
She could knock, could tell you everything thatâs been going through her head, but what if itâs too much? What if itâs too soon?
Alexia takes a deep breath and steps back, retreating to the safety of her car. She sits there, hands resting on the wheel again, feeling like a coward. But the thought of doing the wrong thing, of making things harder for you, keeps her from getting back out the car.
Tomorrow, she thinks. Tomorrow Iâll speak to her.
Itâs a promise she makes to herself, hoping that maybe, with a little more time, sheâll find the right words.
The next morning, you woke up feeling no better than the night before. If anything, the pit in your stomach had only grown. You glanced at your phone, half-expecting to see a message from Alexia, but there was nothing. No good morning text, no follow-up to check on you. That left a really bitter feeling inside of you, one that you hated feeling for two reasons. One, you knew in your heart she wasnât trying to make you feel that way, and two because you felt that way.
As you dragged yourself out of bed, you couldnât shake the feeling that something was off. You tried to convince yourself that Alexia was just busy, that she was giving you space like you asked. But deep down, the doubt gnawed at you. What if the space you asked for was pushing her further away?
You knew you needed to talk to her, to clear the air, but the thought of confronting your feelings made you anxious. What if she confirmed your worst fears? What if she said she wasnât sure about the relationship anymore? You werenât sure you could handle that.
Still, as you got ready for training, you decided to talk to her today. No more avoiding the conversation. You needed to know what was happening, you needed to clear things up. Not only for your relationship but for your own mind. There was a small voice at the back of your head telling you that speaking to Alexia about why this has happened might be a good idea, but you ignored that for the moment. That would mean showing those deep insecurities. And you werenât sure if you were ready for that yet.
With the decision made, you grabbed your things and headed out the door, hoping that today would bring some clarity and maybe, just maybe, the reassurance you desperately needed.
Stepping out of the building, you're caught off guard. Alexia is there, leaning against her car, arms folded, sunglasses perched on her nose. She straightens up the moment she spots you, waving casually as if this is the most normal thing in the world. Which a week ago it would have been.
"Hey," she says lightly, her tone casual, maybe a little too casual. Stop reading so much into it y/n.
"Hey," you respond, trying to hide your confusion. "Didnât expect to see you here."
She shrugs, unlocking the car with a beep. "Thought Iâd give you a lift to training. I know Patri picked you up and dropped you home yesterday. I also wanted to check on you properly. Howâre you feeling?"
Thereâs a pause, you are unsure if sheâs asking about how you're feeling physically or mentally. "Iâm... fine. Maybe a bit tired." Short and sweet, that will do for now.
"Yeah, itâs been a long week," she comments, sliding into the driverâs seat. You follow, buckling in, and the car hums to life as she pulls out onto the road. For a moment, the silence sits between you two, neither of you quite sure how to fill it.
"Trafficâs light today," she notes, glancing briefly at you. "Should get there in no time."
You nod, grateful for the small talk. "Yeah, thatâs good."
Another beat of quiet passes.
"Did you see the new kit design?" she asks, her tone light, as if sheâs trying to keep the conversation safe.
"Yeah, I did. Looks pretty sharp, though Iâm not sure about the neon stripes," you reply, relaxing into the seat a little.
She chuckles softly. "Not a fan?"
You crack a small smile. "Not really my thing. Maybe itâll grow on me."
The conversation fades again, but this time it feels easier, more comfortable. Sheâs not pushing, not prying into anything deeper. It feels like both of you are skirting around something bigger, but for now, the surface level is just fine.
Before long, you arrive at the training centre. Alexia leads you inside, where the trainers are waiting. The check-up is routine, some stretches, a few prods here and there and soon, they clear you to train.
"Youâre good to go," the head trainer tells you with a nod.
As you step out onto the pitch, Alexia lingers nearby, not hovering, but subtly making sure youâre all right. During the water breaks, sheâs quick to hand you a bottle, reminding you to stay hydrated. It's nothing overt, just small gestures that donât go unnoticed by you.
Training passes, and as you finish up, wiping the sweat from your face and stretching out your tired muscles, you see her approaching again. This time, thereâs something different in her expression.
"You did well today," she says with a small, approving smile.
"Thanks," you reply, sensing the shift in the air, the conversation about to take a more serious turn.
She hesitates for a second, then takes a deep breath. "Look... do you want to come back to mine? We need to talk. I think weâre overdue for it."
Her words hang between you both, but the way she says it feels less like a confrontation and more like an invitation. Thereâs no pressure, no demand, just a simple request.
You meet her gaze, unsure of what this conversation will bring, but knowing itâs inevitable. Whatever is currently going on with you two needs to be addressed and soon. Neither of you enjoying your current situation and definitely not wanting it to continue on this way.
"Yeah," you say, surprising yourself with how quickly the word comes out. "Letâs go."
You hesitate to take the hand Alexia reaches out in front of you, but when she gives you that small smile and slight tilt of her head you canât help but grab on. You are once again conflicted when she lets go once you are on your feet, but when she awkwardly scratches at her neck as she gestures for you to start walking you canât help the affection for her that rises in your chest.
The drive to Alexiaâs is quiet, not awkward, but thereâs a tension that hangs in the air. The radio plays softly in the background, a low hum of noise filling the silence as neither of you speaks much. You glance at her now and then, noticing how her hands grip the wheel just a little too tight, how her jaw seems tense. Sheâs trying to seem calm, but you know her well enough to see the nerves beneath the surface.
When you arrive at her apartment, Alexia unlocks the door and once again gestures for you to go inside first. You step in, and the familiarity of her space washes over you, a space thatâs been shared so many times, but tonight feels different. She lingers by the door for a moment, taking a breath before following you in.
You both sit down on the couch, a little distance between you. Alexia fidgets with her fingers, playing with her rings, clearly trying to gather her thoughts. Finally, she speaks, her voice softer than usual, almost unsure.
âIâm sorry I didnât come sooner,â she says, her eyes not quite meeting yours. âI wanted to, but... I didnât know if youâd want me there.â
You sit quietly, listening, waiting for her to continue. You know it is only fair to let her finish without interrupting, your time to speak will come.
âI know I havenât been... the best lately. Iâve been distant, and I canât even explain why in a way that makes sense,â she admits, her voice wavering slightly. âAnd then when you got sick... I wanted to be there for you. I should have been there, but you asked for space, and I didnât want to make things worse.â You could hear the sadness and longing in her voice as she spoke, it made your heart hurt a little more thinking about how this has negatively affected her as well as you.
She looks down, her fingers twisting together nervously. âBut I just kept second-guessing everything. Like, if I showed up, Iâd be doing the wrong thing. And maybe... maybe you donât even want me around anymore.â
Her words hang in the air, heavy with uncertainty and vulnerability. Sheâs never said anything like this before, never doubted herself like this when it came to your relationship. When it came to you.
You feel the weight of her worry, and itâs clear that sheâs been wrestling with this more than you realized. Had you not been the best girlfriend either? Had she been worrying about this for more than just the last few days? Thereâs a long pause before she speaks again.
âIâm scared Iâm not the girlfriend you deserve,â she finally says, her voice barely above a whisper. âI feel like Iâm failing you... like I havenât been there when you needed me most.â
Her eyes finally meet yours, and theyâre filled with doubt, something youâre not used to seeing in her. Alexia, whoâs always so composed, so sure of herself, now looks like sheâs bracing for something, maybe rejection, maybe confirmation that her fears are true.
You take a deep breath, feeling the weight of the moment. You know this talk has been coming, but hearing her say it, seeing her so vulnerable, hits you differently. There's a part of you that wants to just reach out and hold her, to tell her itâs all okay, but you know this conversation needs to happen. You know that the both of you need to communicate these feelings and work on how you can do it without it getting to this stage again, if there is going to be again.
âAlexia...â you start, choosing your words carefully, âI never said I didnât want you around. I asked for space because I needed it, not because I wanted you out of my life.â
She nods slowly, but her expression remains uncertain. You continue, âIâve been going through a lot, but that doesnât mean I donât want you here. Itâs just... sometimes I need to figure things out on my own. That doesnât mean I donât care about you.â
Alexia exhales, her shoulders sagging a little in relief, but the tension is still there. âI just... I feel like I havenât been enough lately. Iâve been so focused on everything else that I havenât made time for us, for you, and then when you needed me most, I just... froze.â
You shift closer to her, your hand gently resting on hers. âI know youâre busy. I never expected you to be around all the time, Ale. I donât need you to be. I just need you to be... present. To be you.â
Her eyes soften at your words, and she looks down at your hand that is soft on top of hers, her thumb brushing over your knuckles. âIâm sorry,â she says again, her voice steadier now. âIâll do better. I want to be better, for you. For us.â
You nod, understanding the weight of what sheâs saying. Itâs not about perfection, not about always getting it right. Itâs about showing up, about trying, even when itâs hard, even when doubts creep in.
âI just need us to be open with each other,â you say. âIf youâre feeling off or distant, tell me. If youâre unsure about something, weâll figure it out together. But donât shut me out, and donât shut yourself down thinking youâre not enough. And Iâll do better too. I have had so many insecure thoughts over the last few days and Iâm sorry for those. Iâm sorry that you get affected by them and Iâm sorry I didnât communicate with you about them. That wasnât fair of me.â
You take a second to think about what you want to say next. Â Alexiaâs eyes stay locked on yours, her expression softening even more as she listens. Her hand tightens just slightly around yours, a silent acknowledgment of the weight of what youâre both sharing. The tension between you eases further, but the conversation isnât over yet.
You take a breath, choosing your next words carefully, wanting to make sure she understands where you're coming from.
âIâve been in my head a lot,â you admit, your voice steady but full of emotion. âI thought that maybe you werenât showing up because I wasnât... worth it. That you were pulling away because Iâve been too much to handle. And instead of talking to you about how I was feeling, I just let it build up. I guess I was scared that saying it out loud would make it real.â
Alexiaâs brow furrows as she shakes her head gently. âYouâre never too much,â she says quietly, her thumb still brushing softly over your hand. âI never want you to feel that way. I hate that youâve been carrying that, and I didnât know. That I couldnât help.â
You nod, grateful for her words but also aware of how important it is to keep the lines of communication open moving forward. âI know you care, I do. I just... I need to trust that more. And I need to talk to you when Iâm struggling, not shut you out. Iâm sorry for that.â
Alexia leans in closer, her voice filled with sincerity. âWeâll both do better. Weâll figure this out together. Youâre not alone in this. I want to be there for you, and Iâm sorry if Iâve made you feel like I wasnât.â
You feel a wave of relief wash over you, and for the first time in days, it feels like the distance that had crept between you is finally closing. Thereâs a warmth in the room now, a sense of mutual understanding and a willingness to do better, together.
âI donât need us to be perfect,â you say softly. âI just need to know that weâre in this together. That we can lean on each other, even when things arenât easy.â
Alexia nods, her eyes shining with emotion. âWe are. I promise. I love you, and Iâm here. Iâll always be here.â
A small smile tugs at your lips as you lean forward, pressing your forehead against hers. The silence that falls between you now isnât heavy or filled with uncertainty. Itâs peaceful, comforting.
âI love you too,â you whisper.
For now, the words are enough. Thereâs more to work through, more conversations to be had, but you know that youâre both committed to making this work. And for the first time in a while, you both feel like you're on solid ground again.
Alexia pulls you closer, wrapping her arms around you, and you sink into the embrace. The weight of the past few days begins to lift, replaced by a quiet sense of hope for what comes next.
After the heaviness of the conversation finally lifts, you and Alexia share a soft smile, the tension replaced by a quiet, comforting peace. The air between you feels lighter, and as if sensing the shift, Alexiaâs lips curve into a small grin.
âHow about we get some takeout?â she suggests, her voice playful yet warm. âI donât feel like cooking, and I think we both deserve a break tonight.â
You chuckle, nodding in agreement. âThat sounds perfect. I could definitely go for some comfort food.â
It doesnât take long before youâve both decided on your usual, something easy and satisfying. The soft glow of the kitchen light reflects off Alexiaâs face as she places the order, her expression more relaxed than itâs been in days. You canât help but feel a sense of relief, like things are finally settling back into place.
Not long after, the smell of freshly delivered food fills the room, and you both settle on the sofa, plates balanced on your laps, the comfort of being together in the small, familiar space wrapping around you like a warm blanket.
âMovie?â Alexia asks, already flicking through the streaming options.
âNothing too heavy,â you say with a smile. âSomething we can just zone out to.â
She nods in agreement, finally settling on a classic comedy that always makes you both laugh. As the opening credits roll, you finish your food and tuck yourself into her side, her arm instinctively wrapping around your shoulders, pulling you closer.
As the movie plays, the light from the screen flickers softly against the walls, casting a warm glow over the room. Youâre snuggled close into Alexiaâs side, her arm still draped around your shoulders, fingers lazily tracing small patterns on your arm. The comfort of it all makes you feel more at ease than youâve felt in days.
At some point, the film becomes background noise. Youâre more focused on the way Alexiaâs thumb brushes your skin or the occasional glance you catch of her watching you instead of the movie. You shift slightly, turning your face up toward her, and her gaze softens as your eyes meet.
Alexia smiles, a tender warmth in her expression, and you canât help but lean in. The first kiss is soft, almost shy, like youâre both still figuring out the rhythm after the tension of the last few days. Her lips linger against yours for a moment longer than usual, and when you pull back, you see the quiet joy in her eyes, a silent thank you for being open and honest with her, for being here.
Without a word, you lean in again, your lips meeting hers in a series of soft, gentle kisses. Theyâre unhurried, sweet, filled with a quiet kind of affection that says more than words could in this moment. Alexiaâs hand comes up to cradle your cheek, her thumb grazing your jawline as she deepens the kiss slightly, but itâs still slow, still soft.
When you finally pull away, her forehead rests against yours, her breath mingling with yours as you both smile, the movie all but forgotten now.
âI missed this,â she whispers, her voice barely audible, as if speaking too loudly would shatter the quiet moment.
âMe too,â you whisper back, brushing a kiss on the corner of her lips, your hands finding their way into hers.
She presses another kiss to your lips, this one lingering, and you both relax into the warmth of each other, the world outside fading as the night slips by.
Thereâs no rush, just the two of you, lost in the soft comfort of being close, the rest of the night spent in quiet kisses and shared smiles, wrapped up in each other as the movie plays on in the background. There is no need for more words tonight. You both know youâre in this together, that the promise made earlier will be something you will both work at together. And for right now, thatâs enough.
#woso x reader#woso imagines#woso fic#woso imagine#alexia putellas imagines#alexia putellas imagine#alexia putellas x reader
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summary: usual grocery day with your husband
with: bokuto koutaro, oikawa tooru, sakusa kyoomi and osamu miya.
n/a: brought this one from my old blog, one of my favorites. I'm thinking about making a part 2 with more hq boys, I personally enjoy imagining them dealing with grocery with me đ. hope you guys enjoy!
â bokuto koutaro
a child inside a full-grow 190cm male body, that's what he is. The fact that he still pouts whenever you remind him that "no, you can't get inside the cart baby, you won't fit" proves the point. But besides his childish mood, he can turn your time shopping a lot funnier.
he does cart races, searches for lower prices like hunting a treasure, throw his hands in the air when he finds his favorite snacks and cackles at every single brand with a silly name. He's a total dork, but his excitement is so endearing that you cannot help but absorb it. It's actually sweet, the way he lightly takes a domestic duty. He's also helpful, willingly carrying the bags to the car, and storing the groceries later at home.
he yearns to stay close to you, so even if his both hands are grabbing the cart handle, at least some arm-brushing will happen. He'll feel pretty lost if you both need to part ways through the market, but it's cute how he beams when you guys find each other later.
favorite section: breakfast food section (he's addicted to cereal), and meat section.
what you usually hear from him: "babe, can we buy this?"
â oikawa tooru
if there's something Tooru doesn't look forward to, is grocery day. He even tried to wipe it off the fridge calendar a few times before, but you're too good to be fooled. "the Santos already ordered by delivery, why can't we do the same?" and he always uses the neighbor's card to try to convince you, whining like his teenager version would.
but one way or another, you always get him to go. If he's in a bad mood, he'll probably sulk in the beginning, lazily riding the cart while sighing every two minutes 'cause this is a total "waste of time". But as the shopping proceeds, he gets used to it, even forgetting what he was so grumpy about when a product catches his attention. With some subtle kisses and a small treat, you can even get a smile out of him.Â
He likes to wrap his arm around your back or keep you close by the waist. Not having you there with him it's the worst thing it could happen, so he needs to make sure you stay by his side (also because he simply likes holding you).
favorite section: checkouts (not a surprise), and cosmetics section (he can spend a good amount of time selecting body products).
what you usually hear from him: "are we done?"; "baby, I need your help. This one, or this one?".
â sakusa kiyoomi
He's the one looking forward to this day. He gets uneasy when things run out in the house, so going shopping is almost necessary for his peace of mind. What he doesn't look forward to, though, is dealing with people at the supermarket. Most precisely, the lines, but let's not talk about it to not ruin the mood.
he's very selective, taking whatever time he has to inspect and be sure of the products, in case it isn't a common choice of yours. He appreciates being aware of what you are consuming, not only for being an athlete but because he cares about your health. He likes to share what he's been learning from the team's nutritionist, but he is not a dictator: if you want to treat yourself to some tasty sweets or snacks, he won't get in the way. He'll even join the party.
He'll offer his arm for you to wrap your own, or hold hands. He's grateful to have your company, so he'll cherish it as much as he can. He's also very protective if the place or the lines are too crowned, keeping you by his side and holding you close with his arm.
favorite section: cleaning products (you have no idea how relieved he gets when he goes there).
what you usually hear from him: "I know you want it. Go ahead, put in the cart"; "tsc, they always put the gloves way back there"; "these stupid lines. Again."
â osamu miya
The king of groceries. He's used to doing this two, or three times a week, and it never gets boring. The experience has made him smarter about where and when it is best to buy, plus he has a good eye when it comes to product quality and price. So yeah, you have almost nothing to worry about when Osamu Miya is your grocery partner. Almost.
He's very chill and helpful while shopping, but you better keep a good eye on the cart: it'll get filled to the brim in one minute. When Osamu likes something, he makes a point of buying as much as he can. Once, he filled almost three entire carts, and half of one was just from rice bags. Someone might think you have a whole volleyball team as a family with the amount of food he wants to take home.
Hands on your back, shoulder, waist, any free space he has to keep you close to him â and he'll keep it there the whole time. Touch is one of his love languages, so there's no way he won't keep in contact with you.
favorite section: fruit and vegetables section, and bakery section (he loves the smell of fresh ingredients).
what you usually hear from him: "sweetheart, just one more. It'll be the last, I promise"; "hope Tsum doesn't visit us today"
© asunflowerana 2024 â all rights reserved.
#hq x reader#hq#haikyuu#haikyuu scenarios#haikyuu x reader#bokuto koutaro#bokuto x reader#bokuto koutaro x reader#oikawa tooru#oikawa x reader#oikawa toru x reader#oikawa x y/n#miya osamu x reader#miya osamu#miya osamu x you#osamu x reader#sakusa kiyoomi#sakusa x reader#sakusa x y/n#sakusa kiyoomi x reader#domesticity#{ bouquet }#w.hq
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OK SO I HAVE THIS IDEA IN MY HEAD AND I HAVE TO TELL YOU, I can't stop laughing imagining that scenario xdxdxdxdxd
Well, then imagine go fish! Sanji takes (Y/N) to meet Zeff and Zeff being the good father he is, "accidentally" spoils the tea in front of everyone because he is so done with the drama around.  đ đ đ đ
UMMM OK I LOVE THISSS!! this technically won't be go fish!Sanji BUT my interpretation of Sanji will pretty much always be like that.
here's Zeff "accidentally" spilling the beans about Sanji's affections for reader: (i can't believe this blew up to like 3k words rip)
masterlist
Zeff wasn't stupid.
He's been around the block a couple of times in his life and when Sanji's semi-regular letters to him had shifted from casual life updates and started to be more and more about details and little interactions he had with you, some girl Zeff had never met before, well, it was easy for the head chef to put two and two together: Sanji was in love.
And he was in love with you.
Now, while Sanji might not technically be his son by birthright, there was no way he didn't consider Sanji to be his own living and breathing kin, especially after everything they've been through together, 'pedigree' rules be damned.
Zeff truly loved that boy. Throughout their time together, he had raised Sanji from being a snotty-nosed brat into the respectable man that he was today and, in Zeff's mind, part of being a respectable man included knowing how to treat a woman properly.
Ever since he was a young boy, Zeff could see that Sanji took a special liking towards girls and then young women. The retired captain had lost count of the number of times he had to berate Sanji into getting back to work and to leave the wooing for after dinner service and his own personal time, but the scoldings never stuck. Sanji would always be Sanji, and that meant the lad had an endless wandering eye and a sharp silver tongue, no matter what.
To say that Zeff was sad to see Sanji go with Luffy that day was an understatement, he was devastated, but he knew, ever since he had held a knife to his throat during their first encounter, that Sanji was meant for bigger things. For things bigger than cooking up the same old dinner specials every night and breaking up drunk pirate fights on the regular. Sanji was bigger than the Baratie, so when Luffy had made his infamous offer to his pseudo-son, a part of Zeff was relieved because that meant that Sanji could finally start living the life he was always meant to live, and that was one of a pirate.
Zeff had also made peace with the very real fact that he might never see or hear from Sanji again. He (and Sanji) knew all too well how quickly something could go from bad to worse to life-threatening in an instant out on the open ocean, and if Luffy was truly determined to find the one piece and have Sanji join his crew, then Zeff knew that seeing him off that day was probably the last time he would ever see his son alive.
So, imagine his surprise when he received his first letter from him.
At first, he thought it was a joke, that one of the line cooks in the kitchen was pulling a cruel prank on him by writing him a fake letter in Sanji's unmistakable handwriting, but when he finally ripped open the envelope and found out that yes, Sanji did, in fact, write him a letter, well... it had actually brought a tear to his eye.
From that point forward, Zeff found himself eagerly awaiting Sanji's letters. He loved to hear all about the outlandish adventures that crew seemed to always find themselves in and it made Zeff nostalgic for his days at sea. There was never any return address, since the crew was constantly on the move, and Zeff expected as such, so he could never send a reply but that didn't mean he wasn't grateful for each and every letter he received.
Zeff should've realized that something was up though when Sanji had first mentioned you in one of his letters. Sanji's letters would come every couple of months and they, surprisingly, never mentioned any young lass or any other pretty girl he would meet during an island visit unless it was a woman they had ended up fighting.
So, when Sanji had first mentioned you to him, saying how you were the newest straw hat to join the crew, Zeff had thought it was just business as usual. However, what wasn't 'just business as usual' was when the rest of the letter had turned into a little biography about you; where you were from, how old you were, what your home life was like, that you had also agreed that 'oregano was for savages', etc., and the letter ended up being nearly ten pages long.
Then, after your 'introduction' in Sanji's letters to him, you were practically the subject of them all going forward, each one getting longer than the last. Gone were the letters detailing Sanji's adventures, and in came the letters describing the interactions you two had or what topics had come up in your conversations with each other.
At first, Zeff thought it was just another one of Sanji's infatuations (the boy was a huge flirt after all) but when more and more details were provided, and the letters started becoming longer, it was obvious to Zeff that Sanji was in love with you.
And why didn't Sanji just admit his feelings to you? He had no clue. Maybe it was partially his fault too, since Zeff never remembered having that 'what to do when you truly love a girl' talk with him, but he had hoped that Sanji would eventually be fed up with all the back and forth between the both of you and finally just confess already, but that declaration of "I confessed my love to her and she reciprocated" line never was brought up in any of the letters.
And Zeff was feeling himself go crazy the longer this went on. The 'drama' that was occurring between you both was driving him nuts and he vowed that if he ever saw Sanji and the rest of the straw hat crew at the Baratie again, that he would confess Sanji's feelings towards you for him. I mean... someone had to.
Then one day his lucky day came.
"Zeff!" a voice called out from the top of the stairs one afternoon before the day's first dinner service, a voice that Zeff thought he would never hear again. "There you are, you old shitbag!"
Immediately, Zeff stopped talking to the wait staff, turning his body to look up at where he heard the voice come from, his hands on his hips, and he couldn't believe what he was seeing: there was Sanji, a huge smile on his face, standing with practically the same crew that he had waved goodbye to nearly two years ago.
"Oi! Sanji!" Zeff yelled out, his own disbelieving smile lighting up his face. "I never thought I'd see your ugly mug around here again."
Sanji laughed at that as he quickly bounded down the stairs, enveloping him in a bear hug. "That makes two of us!" He pulled back, his blue eyes lighting up in pure happiness as he quickly took Zeff in, patting him on the shoulder as he said, "And look at you, you practically look exactly the same as the day I left you."
As Zeff took in Sanji's appearance, he realized that he couldn't say the same about him. Sanji looked older, not in a bad way, but in a more mature way. He looked like he was growing into the man that he was always meant to be.
And Zeff couldn't have been more proud.
"Well, I can't say the same about you little eggplant. You look like a seasoned pirate to me." Both of them dropped their arms off of each other and Zeff put his hands back on his hips. "You keepin' your feet dry?"
Sanji mirrored his pose, a small laugh escaping his lips as he looked down for a second. "Yeah," he said and looked back up at Zeff, a knowing glint in his blue eyes. "Yeah, I am."
Zeff knew right then that everything with his son was alright. "Good."
"Hey, uh, I wanted to introduce you to someone," Sanji started, looking slightly bashful as he looked back down at the floor and put his hands in his pockets. "She's the-"
"Girl from the letters?" Zeff said with a small knowing smile, finding it endearing how his normally smooth-talking son was suddenly acting about this girl. If he didn't know any better, Sanji looked nervous (and Zeff knew he was).
At his words, Sanji's gaze immediately snapped up to meet Zeff's, his eyes becoming slightly wider, a hint of panic within them, as he quickly looked back towards the rest of his crew that had just started to make their way down the stairs and towards them.
"The newest member of our crew," Sanji emphasized loudly, letting out a fake laugh as he looked back at Zeff pointedly.
"Right," Zeff relented with a small disbelieving laugh of his own. "'Newest crewmember'. Got it."
And when Zeff turned his attention towards the straw hats, he immediately knew it was you before you even introduced yourself. Sure, you were the only new face in the small group of familiar faces, but he had to give credit to Sanji, he had definitely captured your looks and essence in his letters.
Zeff's smile widened. You were cute. From just by looking at you, he could tell you were a sweet and kind soul, it was no wonder Sanji loved you. You definitely looked like the type of person who would do all those things that Sanji had spoken about in his letters and he immediately approved of you. If Sanji had stood there and introduced you as his wife instead of 'his newest crewmember', he wouldn't have had any objections to that at all.
"Zeff, this is y/n," Sanji started, gesturing a hand out to you, Zeff noticing the way his son's eyes softened just by looking at you. "And, uh, you already know everyone else."
Zeff looked away from Sanji and down at you, seeing that you already had your hand out to shake his, a nervous smile plastered on your face.
He liked you.
"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Zeff, sir," you said, shaking his hand. "I've heard so much about you."
Now, even though Sanji had corrected him before about you, it didn't mean Zeff wasn't going to say anything.
"Aw, come on now, the pleasure is all mine little lass," Zeff replied, shaking your smaller hand with his bigger one. "It's nice to finally meet the girl that Sanji raves on about all the time."
From his peripheral, he could see Sanji stiffen.
Your eyes widened, your hand going limp in his as you asked, "Raves on about? Who, me? T-to you?"
Zeff's smile only grew wider and more cheeky. "Oh yeah, all the time," he said casually, as you both dropped hands. He placed his hands on his hips again and nodded towards his son. "You should see just how much of his letters are about you. It's like I get a damn novel every other month about your relationship," he joked.
"Zeff-" Sanji started but Zeff wasn't done.
He was on a roll and nothing was going to stop him. The more he spoke, however, the redder your face became.
"Oh yeah," the head chef continued, "from as much as Sanji talks about the two of you, I thought you two were in a relationship and said 'I love you' to each other already."
After he said that, the room got quiet. You stood there, completely frozen with wide eyes and a flushed face, like a deer in headlights, while Sanji stood as still as a statue. The rest of the straw hats stood quietly behind you three with varying looks of shock and awe on their faces at the display before them.
"Sanji," Luffy said, breaking the awkward silence first. "You love y/n?"
"Luffy!" Nami hissed.
"I knew it!" Usopp loudly and proudly declared, pointing a finger to the sky as he turned and laughed at the rest of the crew. "See, the great captain Usopp always knows the sparks of true love whenever he sees it," he said, hooking his thumbs at the top of his overalls with a grin.
Zoro snorted and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right. You wouldn't know what true love looked like even if it smacked you in the face."
"Says the guy who doesn't have a girlfriend," Usopp smugly retorted with a laugh.
Before Zoro could say anything back, Zeff spoke up. "Hey, straw hats," he called, grabbing their attention. "Why don't you lot come into the kitchen and sit at the chef's table? I'll have Patty and the rest of 'em cook you a couple of steaks however you want, on the house. I'll even throw in a couple of beers too."
"I'm in," Zoro said without missing a beat as he started making his way towards the kitchen, not needing to be asked twice.
"Ooo, free beers? Show captain Usopp the way, please," Usopp said, following Zoro through the kitchen doors.
At the mention of meat, Luffy immediately perked up and forgot about the situation before him. "Steaks? Would it be possible to have more than one?"
"Sure," Zeff agreed easily and nodded towards the kitchen. "Eat too many though and I'll have you back on dish duty again to pay your bill."
"Deal," Luffy quickly agreed and followed after his first mate and sharpshooter.
With a shared look, Nami and Zeff started making their way towards the kitchen together, both ignoring you and Sanji.
"How do you like your steak cooked Nami?" Zeff asked conversationally before disappearing behind the kitchen's double doors.
"Medium rare, actually," Nami replied and slipped in after him, leaving you and Sanji all alone in the dining room.
It was quiet for a solid minute, neither one of you moving or making a sound.
"So," you started, clearing your throat and looking over at Sanji. "You, uh... told Zeff about me?"
But Sanji couldn't look at you. In fact, he was looking at everywhere but you. His cheeks were flushed pink and the tips of his ears were red. He looked down at the ground with his hands on his hips.
"Yeah," he said, forcing out a slight laugh that sounded more painful than anything. "I, uh, told him a bit about you. Could you tell?" he asked, a hint of painful and playful sarcasm in his tone.
You couldn't help but laugh at his attempt at a joke. You could feel your heart start to race as you slowly took a couple of steps closer to him. "Yeah, I could tell," you replied playfully. "You really love me, Sanji?" you asked him softly after a beat.
Turning his head to the side, you could see a blush crawl up his neck. It was so cute, you don't think you've ever seen Sanji be this flustered or embarrassed before. "Uh, well," he stammered, "I-I didn't want you to find out like this. I had a plan and everything. But Zeff and his big mouth had to ruin-"
"Sanji," you said simply, cutting him off. "Look at me."
Before obeying your command, Sanji took a deep breath, like he was bracing himself for the inevitable letdown and rejection he was used to receiving from women throughout his life.
When he looked down at you and met your stare, his eyes were filled with apprehension. "Yes?"
You wanted to do nothing in that moment but quelch his fears. "Oh, just come here," you said.
In one swift motion, you grabbed him by his tie and pulled him down into a kiss, capturing his lips with your own. You felt him stiffen in surprise, but once it hit him that you were, indeed, kissing him, he immediately relaxed and put his hands on either side of your face, his fingers entangling themselves into your hair, deepening the kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck, your mouth moving in sync as you felt butterflies erupt in your stomach.
Was this real life?
After a moment, you pulled apart, panting slightly for air. You both looked at each other, faces flushed, neither one of you expecting to share your first kiss in the middle of the empty Baratie dining room.
"I love you too."
The smile that broke out across Sanji's face was brighter than the sun. But before he could say anything, you both could hear Usopp yelling from inside the kitchen.
"Guys! They kissed! See, I told you they would!" He declared loudly before turning away from the small circular window. "Zoro and Nami, you each owe twenty berry! Come on, pay up!" he laughed like a high roller that just won big, making his way back into the kitchen.
At the sound of loud protesting and groaning coming from the kitchen, you giggled, hiding your face in his chest from embarrassment.
"Oh god," you groaned.
"Aw come now, no need to be embarrassed, Madam," Sanji teased. "If they're placing bets on us, might as well give them a show to bet on, yeah?"
When you peeked up at him, you could see a mischievous glint in his eye as he scanned over your pretty face and back down to your lips before looking back into your eyes. His look made your heart skip a beat.
"Sounds like a plan to me," you answered with a small laugh before you pulled him back down to kiss him all over again.
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I just know Lonely Harry is so nosey when it comes to what his fiancĂ© and Niall talk about especially if itâs wedding relatedđ
Hiii babes!!! Oh you know he is sooooo nosey he canât even help himself! The thing is heâs ALWAYS been kinda nosey when it comes to you and Niall and what the hell yâall two talk about and the weird things/trouble the two of you manage to get into you when together because you two are what Harry oh so lovingly calls the âdysfunctional duoâ and have been ride or die besties just as long as you and Harry have!
So Iâll happily give you some little examples of Harry being nosey and also getting caught trying to be nosey when youâre with Niall talking about wedding stuff/ just hanging outđđ
-find all things for the Lonely series hereâš
A/N: Harry is a a naturally very nosey man but when he knows youâre in the house talking to Niall he canât help himself, he just wants to know what the two of you are talking about and if it has anything to do with himđâš
Example One: Dress Details
âYou think itâs going to look weird with that much of it touching the ground? Thatâs not tacky looking or anything? I was thinking maybe getting it shortened just a smidge?â Niall shoots you a look that makes you let out a huff as you reach over to the coffee table and grab your glass of wine. âI just donât want it to get all dirty and gross on the bottom from dancing and stuff.â You explain as you bring the glass to your lips so you can take a sip while Niall just rolls his eyes as he places his beer down on the table.
âYou have a bloody reception dress ya knob so your actual gown wonât be gettin all dirty and shit because youâre wearing it for what? An hour at the max? Maybe two if you include the time it takes for photos?â Harry knows he shouldnât be listening, he knows for a fact if you turn your head and see him just standing off to the side of the living room near the kitchen casually stuffing the rest of his sandwich in his mouth that youâd probably let Niall jump over the back of the couch and tackle him to the ground and heâd deserve it.
He knows you donât want him to know any details about your dress, but technically you two havenât spilled any details about the dress minus the fact you donât want to get the bottom of it dirty letting Harry know the dress is floor length but that was sort of a given because he knows youâd never wear anything above mid calf during the actual ceremony. He also was already let in on the fact youâd be changing into a different dress for the reception because you wanted a dress you felt more comfortable dancing in and one youâre not too worried about getting ruined if it gets wine or food spilled on it throughout the evening. While he might not know any details of what that dress looks like minus that it still fits the overall theme and vibe of the wedding as whole he can assume itâs not floor length because youâve never been one to find those comfortable for dancing.
âOh thatâs right I forgot about that dress.â You laugh as Niall leans in closer to you so he can get a better look at the gown on your phone screen and Harry so badly wants to take a few steps further into the living room but he doesnât, he just stays where heâs at and tries his hardest to be as quiet as possible in hopes of hearing something a little more juicy. âYou think Harry will like that one thought? Itâs a bit-â
âWhat I think is that Harry better get his lanky fuck of an ass out of this living room before I shove my foot up it.â Niall snaps before you can finish your sentence because unknown to you and to Harry he spotted your fiancĂ© a few minutes ago and was waiting to see if he was going to leave on his own but when he saw him finish off his sandwich and stay exactly where he was instead of turning around and heading for his office or any other room in the house Niall decided he needed to step in.
âGod youâre so violent for a man with wonky knees and a few inches left to grow before heâs even eye level with me.â You feel your eyes go wide when you hear Harryâs voice coming from behind you.
âHarry Edward Styles.â Harry feels his cheeks get hot as he watches you turn so your arm is resting on the back of the couch, wine glass still in your hand as your back is leaning against the armrest so you can get a good look at him. âHave you been standing there the whole time Niallâs been here?â You ask as Niall turns so he can also look at Harry but while you are giving Harry a glare and a quirked brow Niall is simply trying to hold back a laugh because he knows Harry is about to be in trouble.
âUh n-no no not the whole time.â
âOh yeah thatâs real believable mate.â
âFuck off Ni-â
âDonât tell me to fuck off when youâre the one being a right fucking creep listening to our conversation in the shadows over there you fucking weirdo.â
âItâs my house Niall I canât be a creep in my own bloody house.â
âClearly Harry you can because thatâs exactly what youâre doing. Now run along and go do something productive like I donât know? Audition for a movie or make another overpriced beach bag.â
âYou are such a fucking ass-â
âYeah yeah love you too now get lost.â Harry lets out a frustrated huff as he glares at the back of Niallâs head as he turns away from him so he can reach for his beer on the coffee table, Harry slowly turns his attention to you and his face instantly softens to a small smile that you canât help but return as you meet his stare.
âI love you.â His voice is much softer as he stares at you and you know he wants to come closer so you just give him a small nod as you close your phone and place it in your lap face down.
âI love you too.â Harry smiles as he walks further into the living room so heâs standing behind the couch, you tilt your head back a little so you can look up at him. âBut please go away.â
âOkay baby Iâll go away.â He tells you as he leans down so he can place a kiss to your lips, you smile when he pulls away and you get comfortable on the couch while Niall finishes off his beer. Harry is about to turn to head towards the stairs but before he does he quickly reaches over a smacks the back of Niallâs head making him let out a squeal of surprise as a hand comes up to rub at the spot Harry just hit.
âTreat people with kindness my fucking ass you twat.â
âYou started it you wank my beach bags arenât overpriced.â
Example two: Beer Pong ft. A jealous Harryđ
Harry hears laughing coming from the kitchen as soon as he opens the door to his office and steps into the hallway, he knows you invited Niall over for lunch but that was over three hours ago so thereâs honestly no telling what exactly the two of you have gotten up to in the time heâs been tucked away upstairs for a few work meetings. He quietly makes his way downstairs and runs a hand through his hair as he comes to a stop in the doorway of the kitchen, a smile creeps its way onto his face when he sees you lean your head back and laugh at something Niall has said thatâs also caused him to erupt in that loud obnoxious laugh of his. Now Harry has always felt secure in his relationship with you, even from the very beginning when he fought the Irishman currently sitting at his kitchen table for the title of your bestfriend all those years ago Harry has always knows where heâs stood with you but thatâs never stopped him from sometimes feeling a certain tiny twinge of jealousy when he sees the two of you together because he knows your friendship with Niall is completely different than your friendship with him ever was.
You and Niall have secrets and little jokes only the two of you find funny, granted you and Harry also have secrets and inside jokes that no one else has the privilege of being privy to but Harry for some odd reason assumed when he became your fiancĂ© that all the secrets you and Niall shared he would get the inside scoop on, but he was wrong. He knows itâs silly to get so worked up over your friendship with Niall, hell Harry is the reason you even know Niall so he canât exactly be mad at how close the two of you are because he was there the day you met and he saw it first hand just how quickly the two of you seemed to click and form a bond. Deep down Harry is grateful for your friendship with his bandmate because Niall has been there for you at times when he couldnât be due to distance because of a work thing or when Harry was too stubborn and lost in his own feelings to see the error of his ways when heâd done or said something he shouldnât have so you having a few secrets and private jokes with him shouldnât be a big deal but Harry just canât seem to let it go sometimes and today is one of those times.
Despite Harry knowing that Niall is just your bestfriend, Harry is the one marrying you in a few months for goodness sake, he canât help but glare at the side of Niallâs face when the little tiny voice inside his head begins to question what it is that Niall has said that could possible make you laugh so hard you have to reach over and grab his arm and give it a squeeze like that? Harry crosses his arms over his chest as he decides to watch the two of you from the doorway for a few moments longer, your back is to him so he doesnât have to worry to much about you seeing him.
âI swear Iâve never seen her look so pissed.â Niall says between laughs making you shake your head as you try to catch your breath.
âThatâs because she wasnât expecting you to just say you thought her dress was hideous Niall.â Your voice is playful as your hand thatâs on his arm falls back down to the table while Niall just rolls his eyes in response to your words. âItâs rude.â You add and Harry knows youâre giving your bestfriend a glare as you stare at him making him shrug.
âNo asking me my opinion on a god awful dress when Iâm three whiskey shots in and working on my second pint of Guinness is whatâs rude.â That makes you reach over and give him a light smack upside the head resulting him reaching over to you and flicking you in the elbow. âDonât start with me. You know you canât beat me. At anything really. Remember the time you tried to come golfing with me? What a disaster that was.â He threatens in a non-serious tone when he sees you about to reach over and smack him again. Harry knows by the way you tilt your head to the side that youâre glaring at him but Niall just ignores it.
âCanât beat you? Please Iâve actually done it before and one handed might I add or do you not remember?â This makes Harry raise an eyebrow because he has honestly no clue what youâre talking about but clearly Niall does because he watches as a smirk forms on his face and his eyes squint into a hard glare.
âReally now? You wanna talk about that night huh? Well letâs not forget who had to be carried home by that same man you claim to have beat one handed.â
âI did not have to be carried home you are so dramatic.â
âMe? Dramatic? Says the one who cried when I told her I didnât have any coffee in my flat that one morning after-â
âOh fuck right off that doesnât even count as being dramatic because youâve cried over food as well and I was violently hungover and all I wanted was coffee and who the hell has two coffee makers but no coffee?â Harryâs eyes are wide as he tries to make sense of the conversation heâs hearing the two of you have, he doesnât know when you ever got so drunk with Niall he had to carry you home and he also doesnât remember when you ever opted to stay at Niallâs apartment over staying with Harry so heâs not sure when the crying over the lack of coffee happened and it makes him feel extremely out of the loop and he doesnât like it one bit.
âAlso I didnât claim to beat you one handed Niall Horan I did beat you one handed.â You add as you reach over and grab a chip off Niallâs plate that looks like itâs leftover from the lunch to two of you shared hours ago.
âBeer pong isnât my strong suit so itâs not that big of an achievement saying youâve beat me at it.â Harry begins to flip through memories to see if he can try to get a better idea of when you and Niall were at a party and played beer pong together and itâs then that it hits him, this is all the way back when you were still in college and Niall used to go with you to a few frat parties because Harry didnât like causing a scene when heâd try to go with you but Niall was able to blend in just a bit easier than him.
âDonât be an ass.â Harry smiles as you not so gently punch Niall in his shoulder making him let out a groan as he rubs at the spot you just hit. âA win is a win.â You state with a huff as you steal another chip off Niallâs plate.
âWhatever you say bestie.â The tone is teasing as Niall looks away from you and suddenly Harry feels his body go stiff when heâs met with a pair of blue eyes staring into his green ones. âHello there Harold howâs it goin? Your fiancĂ© here is in a violent mood so Iâd watch out if I were you.â Harry rolls his eyes as he takes a small step into the kitchen as you turn to look at Harry over your shoulder.
âIâm sure you deserved it.â You smile at Harryâs words as you turn to look back at Niall who just rolls his eyes making you stick your tongue out at him.
âReally? Youâre so mature.â You just laugh as Niall gets up from his seat at the table. âI gotta head out but call me tomorrow and we can go over more Miami stuff because Iâve gotta book everything soon and if you donât make up your mind about the boat then Iâm gonna just make a decision for you and we both know which option Iâm gonna pick.â He gives you a knowing look before he quickly leans over and places a super innocent kiss to your cheek that makes Harrys jaw clench.
âOkay I will call you with my decision by lunch time tomorrow.â You inform him and he just nods before he turns and heads towards the front door. âLove you!â You shout over your shoulder and you just smile when you hear Niall laughing as he shouts it back to you making Harry roll his eyes as he stands behind your chair.
âYouâve been down here with him all afternoon?â Harry asks as he leans down to place a kiss to the top of your head as his hands rest on your shoulders.
âHarry.â Your voice is soft but stern and itâs an odd mixture that has Harry suddenly glad he canât see your face because heâs sure youâd be giving him a look that tells him you know exactly how heâs feeling right now. âYou donât need to be jealous of Niall.â Is all you say as you reach a hand up and place it over his thatâs on your shoulder and give it a little pat before you turn your head so you can look up at him. âYou know that right?â You ask with a raised brow and Harry lets out a heavy sigh as he leans down to place a sweet kiss to your forehead.
âI know. I just canât help it sometimes-know mâa bit obsessed with you and donât like to share.â
#lonely extras#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles series#harry styles fluff#harry styles angst#Harry styles and Niall Horan#harry styles x reader#harry styles imagine#harry styles blurb#harry styles drabble#harry styles one shot#harry styles concept#harry styles x y/n#harry styles x you#harry styles x fem!reader#Harry styles x bff!reader#famous!harry#one direction fanfiction#bff!niall Horan#my little lanky baby#my little irish marshmallow#harry styles#niall horan#harry styles au#harry styles friends to lovers
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Not Your Fault
Note - i hope youâre all excited to meet the final bubba đ©· a few guesses for the name were right but no one guessed the exact spelling đ I hope you love them as much as I do though and hopefully Iâll be able to write about them a bit more as we learn about their personality đ hope you enjoy and feedback is always appreciated đ
Pairing - Mason Mount Ă Reader
Word count - 6k
Warnings - fluff, smut, tiny bit of angst
Putting the kids to bed with Mason was never an easy task. Mason putting the kids to bed on his own was a recipe for disaster but right now there wasn't much the pair of you could do.
You could hear Mason trying to wrangle your two babies as you sat with your third in the nursery. Ollie trying his hardest to help Mason tame Tilly as she ran riot and you knew Mason was about to explode. You wondered if you should get up to help but Ryley was feeding peacefully in your arms and you didnât want to disturb him.
âWelcome to the mad house babyâ you whispered, stroking your finger along his perfect nose all the way down to the end before awkwardly reaching down to kiss his head. âYouâll get used to Tills, sheâs just excited about you being hereâ
And she really was.
Never in your wildest dreams did you imagine youâd get pregnant so quickly after agreeing to try again and after your first two pregnancies you thought you knew your body well enough now to know when something had changed. Clearly that wasnât the case though and it was actually Mason who figured it out first that were pregnant with a little help from Nala.
The kids were at school and Mason came home to find you cuddled up with Nala on the sofa. Her head and paws on your tummy as you scratched her head but as soon as he tried to cuddle you, Nala wasnât having it. Growling at him when he tried to put his arms around you and pushing him away with her nose.
âWhatâs crawled up her arse and diedâ Mason laughed. Trying to snake his hands around your middle but Nala would fight him off every time until he gave up and grabbed your boob instead.
âMason? Do you mindâ
âTake it up with her, sheâs hogging youâ he huffed but you just let it slide. You knew Mason needed to be holding something and if it was your boob then youâd just have to get on with it as he wouldnât move off. You didnât think anything of it though, you just knew Nala was protective and after youâd been cuddling for a while she was feeling territorial.
It was two days later that Mason caught you crying in the utility room. Half buried under all of the kids washing and the look of concern on his face just made you cry even harder. Youâd been trying to get ontop of the cleaning all day and it the point you just felt overwhelmed.
âHey, whatâs wrong sweetheart?â He asked as he helped you up but you didnât really have an answer for him. Trying to quieten your sobs but you could feel your bottom lip still wobbling as he looked at you softly.
âSorry Mase, I donât even know why Iâm cryingâ you laughed as he wiped your eyes for you. âIâm just a bit emotional at the momentâ you told him and by the small sigh you knew he had something he wanted to say so you raised your eyebrow at him in hopes heâd speak.
âBaby, you donât think you might beâŠâ
âDrowning in washing?â You laughed but the soft look on his face made you be quiet. He looked genuinely concerned but there was also something behind his eyes you couldnât quite place.
âNo you wally⊠pregnantâ
Pregnant? You didnât think so at all. Apart from feeling more emotional than usual you didnât have any other symptoms that you could think of and you wondered if Mason was just getting ahead of himself.
âNo I donât think so Mase, Iâd know if I wasâ you told him but you watched his face soften as he cupped your jaw.
âWell I know you too, and I think you areâ he teased. âYouâre all emotional, youâre eating everything in sight and Nala suddenly wonât let me go near youâ he listed off and you blushed at the fact heâd clearly caught you snacking more than usual. âMaybe we should check? Just to rule it outâ
âI mean we can but itâll just be a wasteâ you laughed âWe only started trying a month ago, Mase. I doubt it would have happened that quicklyâ
âDonât doubt my powers of fertilityâ he laughed and even though you wanted to smile you were trying your hardest to keep a straight face.
âYouâre insaneâ you huffed, grabbing his hand and taking him upstairs to your en-suite. Youâd made sure to stock up on tests since you were now trying and you instructed him to wait on the bed while you took it.
âThere you goâ you smiled, walking out of the bathroom and handing him the capped test that was still loading. âWhat do you fancy for dinner? Iâll go get it startedâ you told him as you made your way to the door but he grabbed your wrist to hold you in place, looking back at you like youâd lost your mind.
âYouâre not gonna wait?â
âThere's no point, itâll be negative babe. Now what do you want?â You told him, shrugging your shoulders as you really believe deep down that you had nothing to worry about as there was no way you were pregnant already.
âYou pickâ he told you quietly, and with a kiss to his forehead you made your way back downstairs and into the kitchen.
Mason was gone for a while, almost to the point where you were about to go and find him but he suddenly appeared in the doorway with his eyes full of tears and a soft smile on his face. You knew he would be upset that it was negative, knowing he wanted a third baby more than anything but you figured at least if he was smiling then he hadnât taken it too hard.
You didnât have a chance to say anything though, Mason coming straight over to you so he could cup your face and press gentle kisses over your cheeks which made you blush and your knees weak but you loved his gentle side and you let him shower with you affection.
Before you could reassure him everything would be fine and you had all the time in the world to try for baby number three, he pulled back to look at you and you were frozen in place as you knew what that look in his eye meant.
âYouâre pregnant babyâ
âWhat?â
âYouâre pregnantâ he laughed, kissing your cheeks again as you froze in his hold. Letting him continue to kiss your face and itâs like his words hadnât hit you yet until he rested his forehead on top of yours.
âYou're lyingâ you whispered, your bottom lip wobbling as your eyes started to burn but he just laughed at you. Reaching into his pocket to pull out the test so he could show you and there it was in black and white. The words pregnant staring you back in the face until you looked up into Masons happy ones. âWeâre having a babyâ
You burst into tears instantly as you fell into Mason's chest. Him holding you close to his body as he rocked you from side to side, letting you know it was okay and that heâd keep you safe, the both of you safe, and when you eventually pulled back he kissed your tears away.
âI didnât think it would be this quick, sorry itâs just a bit of a shockâ you laughed, trying to wrap your head around it as your stared back at the word pregnant.
âItâs alright, baby. Are you feeling okay?â
âI think soâ you laughed. Letting him grip the back of your thighs so he could place you on the counter and look him in the eye. âI just canât believe it, like I donât even know what to thinkâ
âWell Itâs still early love, how about we keep it to ourselves for a little while and tell the kids when weâre certain everythingâs okayâ he reassured you and you felt yourself relax at how calm and in control he was about everything. âWe can tell the rest of the world after that when youâre ready but for now itâs just us yeah? You, me and Nalaâ he joked before pulling you in for a well needed hug.
So you kept it to yourselves. Telling the kids after your 12 week scan and as soon as Tilly found out you were pregnant sheâd barely left your side and was seemingly very quizzical about what was happening. You knew she wanted to come out and ask fully how it had happened but she kept it inside until one night when it was just the three of you.
Ollie was at a friend's house for dinner and after all of you had eaten, you were cuddled up on the sofa with Mason, Tilly nestled in between you. Her head on Mason's chest as you watched whatever was on the tv but soon enough Tilly was ready for a biology lesson.
âDaddy, how did the baby get in mummyâs belly?â she asked, her head tilting up to look at him but as soon as you looked up you could see the panic written all over his face.
âYeah, how did it happen, Mase?â You teased wanting to know how heâd worm his way out of this one but you could see he was hating every second of this. Sending you a what the fuck face before looking back down at Tilly who was waiting patiently for him to explain.
âOkay, so you know how you write a letter to Santa at Christmas?â He started, Tilly nodding excitedly and you could see the cogs turning in his brain, wondering where the hell he was going with this but let him carry on. âWell, when two people who love each other very much want a baby, they write a letter to the stork and then you have to bury it in the garden so they can come and pick it upâ
You could see Tilly wasnât buying it, looking back at him in confusion and you yourself were waiting for what he had to say next.
âBut how?â
âHow what?â
âHis did they get into mummyâs bellyâ he asked more firmly this time as Mason was quite clearly skirting around it but knowing Tilly she would ask and ask until she got her answer.
âWell um⊠well then the stork, it comes back and uh⊠and it leaves a seed which is the baby⊠and uh, that goes in Mummyâs tummyâ he nodded, stuttering the whole way through as he was panicking but you were loving how flustered he was. Trying to hold in a laugh as you covered your mouth with your hand.
âBut how does the seed get in there?â She persisted, watching Mason now try to hide a smile before his eyes flashed to yours and you knew he was about to say something he shouldnât.
âShe swallows itâ
âOkay thatâs enough for todayâ you interrupted, pulling Tilly onto your lap âyou need to go and pick Ollie upâ you told Mason with a slightly dissatisfied look on your face and he quickly kissed your forehead la with a smile before getting up. âCome on missy, letâs get you in the bath, yeah?â
âOkay mummy,â she smiled. Reaching over to give Mason a kiss on the cheek before making her way up the stairs and you promised her youâd be right up in a minute.
âRight I wonât be longâ Mason laughed as he got up, reaching down to help pull you up with him but he must have caught the unimpressed look from you as he began to laugh at your expression. âWhat?â
âYou know whatâ you laughed. âMaybe If I had swallowed we wouldnât be in this state would weâ
âI love it when you talk dirtyâ Mason laughed. Pulling you into him with his hand on your bum and he squeezed it as he kissed you heavily. âIâll see you soon, maybe when the kids are in bed we can try-â
âMason I swear to godâ you laughed, pulling away and tapping his chest before making a beeline for the stairs but the sound of his giggles as he made his way out the door made you giggle along too.
Things took a turn at the gender reveal though. The four of you not doing anything extravagant but you knew you wanted the kids involved so after you scan you gave your bestie Sid an envelope with the gender inside so she could organise a cake and the next day you were all sat around the kitchen island with wine glasses in hand ready to sink them into the cake and you couldnât be more excited.
Mason and Ollie didnât care what the gender was, as did you, but Tilly was gunning for a baby sister. Having already picked out some toys for her to have and she constantly referred to the baby as she. You knew there would be a meltdown if she didnât get her way but you were trying to distract her as best you could.
âOkay, are we ready?â you laughed, popping your hand on Tillyâs glass to help her push down into the cake and after the count of three you shut your eyes and pushed down on both until you hit the board.
It was Tilly crying no that made you realise what had happened. Looking round to see everyoneâs glass filled with the blue frosting from the inside of the cake but Tillyâs wails wouldnât let you enjoy your time just yet.
Mason was trying his hardest to contain his laughter and when you pulled Tilly into a hug to console her, he wrapped his arms around the pair of you whilst Ollie just grabbed a fork and began to dig into his cake.
âTilly baby, itâs okayâ you tried to reassure her, holding your laughs in as best you could but she just cried harder.
âI donât like boysâ she sobbed into your neck as she held you tight and as much as Mason looked like he was about to lose it, he peeled Tilly away from you and began to talk to her quietly. Eventually taking her out into the garden where you could see him swaying her from side to side as he spoke into the side of her head and eventually she was nodding her head and wiping her eyes
You joined Ollie though, accepting the fork he passed you so you could dig in too while you spoke about the new baby boy on the way and Ollie was very quick to reassure you how excited he was and how much he wanted to help out.
âOkay, I think weâre on board nowâ Mason announced as he walked back in with Tilly on his hip. A smile on her face but her eyes were still red and watery so Mason sat her on the side so you could feed her some cake.
âTilly, my new book came today. Shall I read to you for a bit?â Ollie asked, your heart melting at the way he wanted to cheer her up as Ollie reading to her was their thing. Whenever Tilly was on mad one or overwhelmed heâd often take her over to their little corner to calm down and your heart felt full as she toddled off with her hand in his.
âSo, another boy huh?â Mason smiled as he came over to you. Resting his hands on your waist as you rested yours on his chest and you were thankful for a little bit of alone time with him.
âLooks like it. And after two clones of you Iâm hoping this one looks a little bit like meâ you told him before he kissed your forehead with a giggle.
âAre you happy?â
âOf course, as long as he's healthy I couldnât care what they are,â you told him softly and he nodded his head in agreement. âWhat did you say to Tilly?â
âTold her itâs another boy to boss around. And that if sheâs the only girl then sheâll always be my only princessâ
âWhat about me?â you pouted, watching Mason roll his eyes but he was leaning down to kiss you just after.
Youâd picked a few names out, but just like youâd done with Tilly you wanted to see him before you named him and once you had, the name Ryley seemed to fit him like a glove. Whilst you could tell he was Mason's boy you were constantly told how much he looked like you and it made your heart swell whenever you looked at him.
Tilly also came around as soon as she saw him. Almost bursting into tears at the way her little face softened at the sight of her new brother before she was looking up at you for permission to say hello to him and Ollie was just as perfect as ever with him.
A new baby meant a whole new routine though and lately it meant Ryleys feed came at bed time so Mason had to put the others to bed on his own. Usually heâd love this but clearly the novelty has worn off for Tilly and she was making it as difficult for him as possible.
Soon enough the noise died down. Mason telling Tilly that Ryley wonât want to stay with us if sheâs too loud and she finally took the hint and got into bed. Letting Mason read her a very quick story before he went and said goodnight to Ollie with the house falling silent once more.
You felt Mason pop his head into the nursery soon after, his eyes and facial expression soft as he took you in but he couldnât hide the deep blush on his cheeks. Eyes flicking down to your exposed chest as you fed Ryley and you could see he was debating whether or not he should come in but you nodded your head to motion for him to come over. Watching him carefully make his way over to the pair of you and when he was close enough you lifted your head in hopes heâd lean down and kiss you. Revealing in the feeling of his lips brushing against yours softly and you hummed in delight just before he pulled away.
âYou two alright in here?â He asked quietly, crouching down so he could kiss Ryleyâs head. Your heart fluttering at the adoring way he looked down at him before his gaze was locked on yours.
âWeâre okay. Are you okay?â You laughed, referring to the nightmare he seemed to have just had with the others and you smiled as he rolled his eyes playfully.
âOh you heard that yeah?â He laughed. âUnless you put Tilly to bed sheâs a right pain in the arseâ he teased. âI love her but my god sheâs a handful sometimesâ
âThey donât call her Tilly the tiny terror for nothingâ you winked. âYou done good though sweet cheeksâ
âThanksâ he laughed, rolling his eyes again. âIâm gonna go sort myself out but Iâll see you in our room in a bit, yeah? Take your timeâ
âOkayâ you whispered and with one last heavy kiss to your lips he was making his way out.
You sat Ryley up not too long after so you could wind him. Knowing Mason hadnât really got to see him all that much today and heâd be itching for a cuddle soon so you made your way back across the hall to your bedroom for some time for just the three of you.
You didnât questione why the door to your bedroom was shut even though maybe you should have. He never usually shut it as it was harder for you to open with just one hand whilst carrying Ryley and you always kept it open just in case one of the kids needed you but you just shifted Ryley on your chest so he was over your left shoulder and pushed the door open.
You should have known there was a reason why he shut it. Walking around to be met with the sound of his loud breathing and when you rounded the corner and into his view you were shocked by the sight in front of you.
There he was laid on the bed, T-shirt riding high on his perfect body as his boxers had been shuffled down his thighs ever so slightly to free himself and even from the split second view you knew what he was doing as his hand moved up and down. A shocked gasp falling from your lips before you turned and you heard mason fumbling behind you.
âShit! Oh god, oh god noâ
âMase, itâs okayâ you told him, slightly chuckling as you turned back around to face him but the look on his face made your heart drop.
His cheeks were redder than youâd ever seen them, a humiliated look plastered across his face no matter how much he tried to hide it and he looked on the brink of tears.
âMasey, no donât get upset itâs alrightâ
âI need the bathroom-â
âNo waitâ you called, popping Ryley into his crib as quickly as you could before rushing over to him to stop him from hiding away in the en-suite for the rest of the night and thankfully you caught him before he was able to shut the door. âCome here baby, come and talk to meâ
âNo I-â
âMase, come onâ you interrupted, pulling him back to bed so you could sit on the edge with him in hopes heâd look at you. He was determined to keep looking down though so in the end you just held him tight and spoke into his hair. âItâs okay, you donât need to be embarrassed or anything. Itâs nothing I havenât seen beforeâ
âI thought I had more timeâ he told you. Holding you tighter but you hated how down he sounded.
âLook at meâ you whispered, letting him take his own time to gather himself before looking up at you shyly. âYou donât need to be embarrassed, itâs perfectly normalâ
âI know I just⊠itâs still embarrassingâ he laughed. âI feel like a teenager whoâs just been caught. I just thought youâd be a bit longer with the little man and Iâd have time. I havenât wanted to ask for⊠you know. I wanted to wait until youâre ready and-â
âWho said Iâm not readyâ you smiled. âI gave birth 8 weeks ago now so thatâs two weeks overâ
âI knowâ he smiled. Iâm just worried thatâs allâ
âWorried about what?â
âI donât wanna hurt youâ he whispered and your heart broke at his sad face. âRemember what happened after Tilly?â He asked and you nodded solemnly.
It had been six weeks since Tilly had been born and you knew Mason was chomping at the bit to have you. You were too big and uncomfortable towards the end of your pregnancy so it had been months since youâd last been intimate and it was almost as if Mason was counting down the days.
Your night didnât go as planned though. Unbenounced to you, you still werenât fully ready and even though Mason had been gentle with you and youâd tried to push through it, it hurt too much and youâd ended up bursting into tears.
Mason felt awful, almost in tears himself as he tried to comfort you but you knew he was blaming himself when he shouldnât be. In the end you took his face in your hands so you could pepper his cheeks with kisses but your heart was breaking as he repeatedly told you how sorry he was.
âMasey itâs not your faultâ you told him quietly, but he wasnât having any of it. Hiding his head into your neck for the rest of the night until the pair of you eventually fell asleep.
He was quiet with you but extra soft for a few days until you could talk it out and let him know it wasnât his fault. You just had to wait an extra few weeks and everything would go back to normal.
You could see it in his eyes now that he was frightened so you pulled him closer and cupped his jaw so you could look at each other properly.
âTilly had a massive head babyâ you laughed. âShe was a right pain to get out but I donât feel like I did with Tilly. Ryley was a breeze compared to her and Iâm all healed up now. Thereâs nothing to be afraid ofâ
âYeah?â He smiled. His body relaxing in your arms as you reassured him everything was okay and the small smile on his lips made you feel a lot better.
âYeah, of course. In fact⊠what do you say we pop Ryley in his nursery for a bit so we can have some time for just usâ
âWait, what?â He whispered, his face looking slightly shocked but in all honestly your been craving some alone time with Mason yourself. âAre you sure?â
â100%, Just give me a sec and Iâll be backâ you told him. Slightly untangling yourself from him so you could pick up Ryley and take him over to his nursery. You never left him in here at night but he had his naps in here all the time so you made sure the baby cam was set up properly before dropping a kiss on his head. âIâll be back for you soon, little one. Just keep sleeping for meâ you whispered. Taking one last look before making your way back to Mason.
He was sitting on the bed facing the door when you got back and a sudden wave of anxiety rolled over you as soon as you shut the door. Your body had changed so much since heâd last seen it and you knew you were covered in stretch marks and still sagging in certain places so when he pulled you in between his legs you tried not to look him in the eye.
âBaby? Everything alright?â He asked, fingers delicately tracing the backs of your thighs and you just nodded and you pulled him into a hug.
âIâm okay, just nervousâ you laughed awkwardly. âItâs been a whileâ
âI know, love. We can go as slowly as you want to though, yeah?â
âI knowâ you smiled, kissing his forehead gently but he could still read your mind and sense how apprehensive you were.
âAnd I donât care what you think your body looks like now. You know that donât you? I love you and I just wanna make you feel goodâ
âI know, Maseâ you smiled, eyes filling at his sweet words. Heâd said the same after both your other babies had been born but the words still hit you deep. You didnât look like you used you, three babies would have an effect on anyone but Mason never cared. He took you as you were and only cared about looking after you, telling you youâd given him everything heâd ever wanted and heâd make sure he looked after you in whatever way you needed.
His hands were trailing all over your bare legs, touching wherever he could as his lips pressed kisses to your chest and you couldnât help but giggle as he finally got to touch all the places heâd missed for the last few months.
âWhatâs so funny?â He smiled, pinching your bum gently as you steadied yourself but his cheeky smile was melting you.
âWeâve been together for so many years now, had three kids together and youâre still as horny as everâ you chuckled, wanting him to know how ridiculous you found him but deep down you knew you were just as bad.
âThatâs what happens when youâve got the most beautiful wife in the worldâ he told you. âYou know Iâll never not want you. Even when weâre grey and wrinkly Iâll still think youâre hot as fuckâ
âIf youâre trying to get me in the mood, talking about old people probably wonât helpâ you told him, kneeling onto the mattress and his light laugh made you smile.
âNotedâ he winked, shuffling back and inviting you to lay with him and once you were next to him he laid you back gently and kissed you with as much passion as he could muster.
He kissed you until you felt dizzy, your hands gripping at him where you could and when when you moaned into his mouth he rolled ontop on you so he could look directly down at you.
âWhat do you want baby? You want my fingers?â
âMhmmmâ
âYeah? You donât sound so sureâ he teased but before you could protest he was talking again. âI think I know what you really wantâ
âWhatâs that?â
âYou want my mouth, donât you?â He whispered lowly into you ear. The sound making you shiver and a gasp to fall from your lip at the sound of his dirty words. âThought soâ he chuckled and before you knew it he was kissing down your neck as he grabbed the hem of your shirt.
You knew it was just Mason and he loved you no matter what, so you let him remove all your clothes as he placed kisses to your exposed skin. Pushing any nervous thoughts out of your head so on you could enjoy the feel of him again.
As soon as his lips touched where they needed to you felt yourself melt. Feeling like you were floating on clouds as he reminded you what youâd been missing out on for months as you tried your hardest to keep your moans at bay and not wake anyone. He made it difficult though. Getting back into the rhythm of things like heâd never been away and soon enough your fingers were getting tangled in his hair as he pushed you over the finish line.
âStop biting your lip, I wanna do thatâ he laughed, as he made his way back up to your face. Kissing you so you could taste yourself and you let out quiet moan as he gently sunk his teeth into your bottom lip.
âIâm trying to be quietâ you laughed, lips against his as you spoke before he stole another kiss from you. Knowing he was ready and raring to go.
âWhat do you want now baby?â
âI want you. All of you,â you told him. Watching a slight nervousness flicker through him and you wanted to reassure him straight away. Gripping the back of his neck so you could tug him back down for a kiss and as he got into it you began to undress him until you were both naked and needy for each other.
You knew he was watching you the whole time as he pushed his way inside of you. Your face contorting in pleasure as he took his time before bending down to press gentle kisses over your face.
âIs that okay?â He whispered, moving his hips slowly so you could adjust to him but you were already seeing stars after not feeling him for so long and all you could muster was a nod. âYeah?â Breathed, a sense of relief laced through his voice and you nodded as you tried to reassure him further.
âYes masey, keep doing thatâ you moaned, louder than youâd intended to but it all felt so intense and you knew mason was feeling it too.
âShould I slow down?â
âNo, just like thatâ you sighed. Reaching up to grab his shoulders so you had something to steady yourself but also because you wanted to feel his skin under yours.
âYou wonder why I still canât keep my hands off of you?â He moaned, pulling up so he could hold you at your waist and take a bit more control. âFucking look at you, youâre unrealâ
âMase-â
âI know gorgeous. Iâm with you, just let go for meâ he told you and you did exactly as he said. Letting him coax you through it until you were spent and he was flopping down gently next to you.
Sometimes you felt like this was your favourite bit. Laying skin to skin with your man as he gently stroked your back and you couldnât help but nuzzle into him more as you made every second count. Youâd missed these moments with him and from the way he was holding you close you knew heâd missed it too.
âYou okay?â He whispered after a while. Feeling your eyes growing heavier as he lulled you to sleep but you looked up at him with a soft smile as he kissed your nose.
âIâm perfectâ
âI didnât hurt you at all did I?â He questioned quietly but you shook your head so he knew you were fine straight away.
âI promise you, Iâm absolutely fineâ you told him. Pecking his lips softly before sighing. âIâm so comfy but I need to go and get Ryley. I donât like leaving him in there alone for too longâ
âStay there, okay? Iâll go get little manâ he reassured you. Kissing your head gently before untangling himself from you so he could get dressed and grab your boy.
You got dressed too whilst he was gone and you were just pulling your top over your head as he walked back in with Ryley cuddled into his chest. Your heart thumping at the way they were together and no matter when or where, watching Mason with a tiny human always made your knees weak.
âCome on boys, mumma needs a cuddleâ you laughed. Jumping up onto the bed and letting Mason pass you Ryley before he laid next to you. His head on your chest as Ryley laid on the other side and you couldnât stop yourself from looking down at Mason and seeing how happy he was to have some time with Ryley. âYou okay, Mase?â
âIâm better than okayâ he smiled, reaching up to give you a quick peck before nuzzling back down into your neck. âThank you for everything, I never thought I could be this happyâ
You didnât have the words for him. Your eyes filling with tears as you kissed his temple but inside you were agreeing with him wholeheartedly. You too never thought you could ever be this happy but as you thought about where you were right now and who you were with, you knew right now your life and your family were complete.
Thank you so much for reading đ©· I really hoped you enjoyed it and Iâd love if you could leave me some feedback if you fancy it đ
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