#the faces and proportions annoy me but I like the costumes :))

[weekend-conspiracy-theorist]

an entry in the tim&steph role swap au

"And what's a little birdy like you doing out on a night like this?"

Robin spun around, rainwater splashing away from those bright yellow combat boots of hers, and gasped. "Oh my god!" Except she didn't sound shocked, or scared, or even righteously angry to find herself mask-to-mask with Catwoman. She just sounded excited, like any other teenage girl.

Selina raised her eyebrows, and dropped sinuously from her perch to join Robin on the rooftop. "What?" she asked, amused, as she paced a slow, wide circle around the girl. Curiosity would kill the cat one day, she knew, but there was no way she could pass up a chance for a good look at Batman's new Robin. The streets were positively abuzz.

This one was blonde. This one was a girl. This one--according to Eddie, nursing a broken nose and looking downright murderous--was just different.

Robin made an annoyed noise, flicking at the small white nub of the commline in her ear. "'Oh my god' like oh my god, B, shut up will you?"

The white out lenses of her domino mask hid the motion, but she could not be more obviously rolling her eyes if she tried. Or maybe she was trying--she pointed at her ear, scrunching her nose up, and made as close to eye contact as she could with Selina through the mask, as if to say, "This guy, huh?"

Selina snorted, the inelegance of the noise washed away beneath the patter of the rain.

"Your costume is absolutely spectacular," Robin chirped, bounding towards Selina--who danced back, staying out of reach, and shook a teasing finger.

"Uh uh, birdy. Flattery won't get you everywhere, you know."

"What? Ugh. No, I'm serious!" Robin rolled her eyes again. "I mean, eggplant would have been better, and I'm kind of crazy about purple pizzazz--you know, like the crayon?--but this is definitely like solid top five for shades of purple. Way, way better than that weird mauve the city uses for the sign backgrounds in Robinson Park. And your boots are cool! I don't think I can pull off thigh highs--"

"No fourteen-year-old can pull off thigh highs," Selina assured her, dry amusement rumbling through her chest. She didn't think the chatter was what Eddie'd been talking about, but he was right: this was a change.

"Well, that's a relief. But I'm not sure if I'll ever get there, you know? There's a specific kind of confidence to wearing thigh highs, and also a proportion thing, and you're definitely, like, 15% more leg than my mom is, which is more or less how I picture myself as an adult. But like, cooler. And with better taste in men." Robin wiped rain off of her face, a sparkling grin lighting up her face, and her cape snapped out behind her as she spun to keep Selina in view. "What are you doing out here, by the way? I thought cats didn't like rain."

"This, that, and the other," Selina purred. "But you never answered me, birdy."

"What? Batman and Robin always patrol. You're the one being weird." She turned her head, pointy chin nearly poking herself in the shoulder, looking back the way Selina had come. "I mean, you engaged me, so it's not like you've got stolen goods on you right now. But you wouldn't be out here in the rain if you didn't have to be either, which means you were doing some time sensitive recon. What's caught your eye at the Gotham Museum of Art?"

"Maybe I just think it's romantic to take a walk in the rain," Selina countered smoothly, refusing to acknowledge the shrewd deduction either positively or negatively. "Where is that hunky shadow of yours?"

"First of all, ew. You also need better taste in men. Second of all--" Robin leaned in, hand next to her mouth as she said, conspiratorially, "Honestly, I don't really care what you're trying to steal? I mean, we break into places and steal stuff all the time--sure, B." She rolled her eyes again, straightening, and placed her hands on her hips. "It's super different, because we're doing it to protect people. We have the hubris to move mountains, laws don't apply to us when we don't want them to, and the Commish has definitely never yelled at you about your methods ever in your life, especially not just a couple days ago about the Maretti case." Her face was pure innocence under the mask, her voice sparkling as she chirped, "No, of course I wasn't eavesdropping, Bossman. You asked me not to and I pinky promised."

Selina couldn't help it; she tipped her head back and laughed. "I like this one," she told the shadows on the next roof over. She'd heard the softest of rustles of his cape when he touched down, the quietest of sighs as his sidekick teased him. "She's got spunk." Selina turned her attention back to Robin, not surprised to find she'd taken advantage of Selina looking away to move in close--a lesser thief may not have noticed the tracker lightly pressed to her belt, but Selina was no lesser thief. She picked it back off, an amused twist to her lips as she flicked it away (Robin pouted), and tilted the girl's chin up with one clawed finger, smirking. "You know how to pick locks, kitten? What about a safe?"

She couldn't see the girl's eyes, but Robin's entire body language lit up. "Oh my god, please--"

"No, Robin," Batman rumbled. He was trying to sound stern, but Selina could hear the amusement underneath, and something in her own chest loosened.

He hadn't sounded like that in a while. Their tussles since... the last Robin... had been lacking that certain je ne sais quoi that Selina had always so savored. He had been laser focused on The Mission, getting back whatever she'd stolen, and not so much on... her.

But she had his attention now.

"C'mon, Bat," she purred, moving to stand behind Robin with her hands on the girl's shoulders, dropping her chin to damp blonde hair. "Let the kid live a little. All work and no play makes Robin a dull sidekick."

That got her a light elbow and a huff. "Partner," Robin corrected her stubbornly.

"Oh, darling, if it's a vigilante partnership you want, you've got better prospects than Batman. Don't you know the Black Canary's somewhere around here in Gotham, too?"

"B-man says I'm not allowed to meet any other Justice Leaguers until he can guarantee I'm not going to cause any trouble."

"So, never?" Selina guessed.

Robin cackled, bright and more than a little creepy, just like the two before her. Had Nightwing been giving lessons, or did it just come naturally once you found yourself dressed up like a traffic light?

The Bat opened his mouth, no doubt to say something annoyingly controlling yet inexplicably charming, but a gunshot rang out a few streets over, and it turned into a bark instead. "Robin!"

"On it!" She ducked out from under Selina's hands, her feet light as she splashed across the roof, grappling gun appearing in her hand almost like magic as she took the last bounding step up to the edge.

He was already turning to follow her, caught in Robin's wake like he really was her over-six-foot-tall shadow, but his gaze swept over Selina before he'd fully turned away. "We'll pick this up next time," he promised, a thread of heat in his voice, and with a great swoop of his cape he was gone.

Robin's faux gagging noises rose high above the distant sounds of violence, and Selina's laughter followed it into the sky.

[averlym]

@incorrect-sixquotes thank you and ily for everything 💗

have some seymour costume studies because I got a bit carried away and decided to doodle the two screenshots I had. I’m learning to draw the aus cast and I have you to thank for that <33

[littleeyesofpallas]

not to be the kind of gross otaku that has some kind of over involved, pedantic opinions about anime titties, but like... I'm a little annoyed with the Isane swimsuit in BBS.

First and foremost I'm actually most upset that they didn't just go all-in on her little lifeguard costume. It's a genuinely good idea that suits her character: The fanny pack for medical supplies, the specific regulation model inflatable thing, even the little hoodie windbreaker(although it could've done with sleeves) to keep the sun off her while she presumably sits on a lifeguard's tower.

But then the actual swimsuit is both a really uninteresting design and not suitable to the theme... They easily could have put her in an appropriate one piece or sport top fit for a life guard. which brings me to the point of......

Isane's obnoxious chest size outside of or loosly orbiting canon... I know that technically the ""canon"" (on account of between chapter omake doodles and that one swimsuit cover spread) is that she's not only secretly been busty the whole time, but is one of the bigger shinigami girls, despite the obvious limitations and inconsistencies of just how flat she binds or is otherwise drawn.

In the one singular glimpse of her out of uniform in full canon, she still doesn't seem as comically busty as the swimsuit thing makes her out to be. And a lot of this stems back to her original appearance seemingly being a faceless, generic male body place holder, because Kubo likely hadn't designed a 4th division lt. yet. But he kept the general body type even as he gave her a proper face and personality, and changed bits of her demeanor.

Point being, she is shy, generally selfconcious about her appearance (albeit normally its about her height when its not about boob jokes) and she actively binds. So she shouldve had a goddamm sporty compression one piece not a fucking bikini! Yes this an actual thing that I am disproportionately mad about for some reason.

Here have some snippets of Isane's relatively consistent in-canon proportions across different arcs.

[wonderwomanfantasy]

Call Girl.

for you Zbops... anything

part one   part two

Endevour x camgirl!Reader

wanrings: sugar daddy, sex, Mentions of drug use, choking, jealousy,  Daddy kink, mentions of cam girls and sex work. 

word count: 1,800 (about)

summary: idk this is weird and horny and doesn’t have a plot. 

“(y/n) please? Endeavor likes you he’s not going to be mean if you’re there,” Keigo whined tugging at your sleeve. You shook him off. It was true that ever since you started fucking Endeavor, he was a little bit nicer to your boss. Or to put it more accurately, he hurried your boss out of the office so the two of you could have fun. This new development certainly made your life more interesting. It added a new thrill to your live shows to know that the number one hero was watching along with all the normal people. 

Your bank account was also taking a boost from this new relationship. You had been worried Enji would try to strong-arm you into giving him more content for free. But no, Endeavor was more than happy to pay for all sorts of premium content on the side as well as compensating you for the in person time you spent together. It was almost enough money to quit your day job with Hawks and become a full time play thing for the older richer man.

“Sorry Hawks but I’m already busy tonight cleaning up after you so you’ll have to go with out me,” you huffed making him pout. “But by all means send my love to Endeavor if you think that will make him nicer somehow,” you added already imagining how that would play out. 

“There’s no way you can reschedule?” he asked for the hundredth time. a couple of photographers got a less than flattering picture of Hawks smoking a joint and if you didn’t wrangle that picture out of their cold dead hands it was your ass on the line. 

“this is an emergency Keigo, you can stand one meeting with the man now go, before you’re late,” you said shoving him out of the window, a horrible thing to do to any one except the winged hero himself. 

Endeavor did nothing to hide his disappointment when he saw you weren’t with Hawks. What was the point of dealing with the annoying blonde If you weren’t with him?

“don’t pout old man She wanted to come promise. Even told me to give you a big kiss for her,”

“Sit down,” he snapped rolling his eyes. You had been such a tease all day long, with not only a constant stream of revealing photos on your onlyfans and premium snap chat. but the personal texts about how much you missed him for the past few days where what really got to him. 

“So how long have you been fucking my secretary?” hawks asked stopping him in his tracks

“I’m married, I’m not sleeping with anyone.” Endeavor shot back. Hawks rolled his eyes

“You don’t have to lie to me, I get it. You like her because she’s hot and she likes you because of Daddy issues I just want to know if you’re like exclusive or if I still have a shot with her-”

A hot wave of jealousy hit him. He’d never felt bothered by the fact that other men were looking at you and fantasied about you but some how if it was Hawks it would be too far. 

“Do what you want with your slutty PA, I don’t touch her.” 

“Bull shit, every time we have a meeting you rush me out so you can get your nasty hands on her and you leave marks you know that? you could at least be gentle with her, Dude,” Hawks chided. He had known he’d left bruises. He liked seeing the jealous comments asking whose hand was branded on your thighs. He just hadn’t known Hawks had noticed too. He was always under estimating the number two.  

“So what if I am?” he asked. “what difference does it make to you?”

“Like I said I want to know if I have a shot with her,”

“you don’t,”

“You think so? I think I’ve got a chance if she likes Heroes,” Endeavor was going to kill him. 

You groaned leaving the restaurant. You had succeeded, but It had taken a lot out of you. You wanted to go home but as you checked your phone you saw Endeavor texted you. 

Hawks said you’d be out tonight. Come over to my office once you’re done. I don’t care how late it is. 

you smiled, you could use some stress relief right about now

on my way

Just a few moments later you were knocking on his office door. You wondered if he would be needy, something must be up, he’s never demaned you came over like this, sex was more of a heat of the moment thing. 

“Come in,” he barked.  You hadn’t even closed the door behind you before Enji was marching over to you. 

“You kept me waiting,” he growled and lifted you off the ground as easily as if you weighed nothing at all. His strength amazed you sometimes. You weren’t the lightest girl in the world but he had no trouble as he dropped you on his oak desk.

He grabbed your jaw roughly and shoved his tounge in your mouth his other hand already reaching to remove your blouse. The flames of his beard tickled your jaw as he mauled your mouth. They weren’t hot enough to burn, just warm enough to heat up your face while he trailed kisses over your body. 

Endevour had never been perticularly gentile with you per say, but now he was being especially rough. While he normally was carful not to rip your clothing so you could leave just as put together as you came in, this time he didn’t sem to care at all. Buttons flew as he tugged off your shirt and you heard ripping sounds as he unclasped your bra

“E-Enji,” you gasped as his teeth grazed the pulse point of your neck. He ignored you and kept biting down your neck. 

“you have no idea how badly I need you” he growled gnawing at your skin, He pried one of your hands off of his chest and pushed it between his legs letting you feel how much he needed you. 

You looked down and saw his aching cock through his impossibly tight hero costume, you could almost make out the veins through the taught fabric. you flattened your palm against his shaft slowly masaging his cock while he continued his assault on your torso. 

His large hands easily cupped your breasts kneading the globes of flesh roughly. He pushed you down laying your back against the desk. Enji grabbed you by the knees and pushed your legs apart forcing your skirt up around your waist. he jerked you down pressing your clothed cunt to his cock. 

His body covered yours easily as he leaned down kissing you agian, this time his lips landing on your chest, peppering your tits with marks. Enji loved his hickeys loved claiming you. if you were being honest. you liked it too. In a weird way it made you feel special. 

His hips rutted against your slowly humping your clothed sex. Both of you groaned at the friction. His hand snaked up tangling in your hair and yanking back. You cried out in pleasure as pain ripped through your scalp. You clawed at his shoulders encouraging his actions. 

“Mine,” He growled “look at me you are mine,” he stated firmly tugging on your hair again. his eyes were bright with fury.

“I don’t care how much that bird-brained fuck offers to pay you I’ll tripple it, this pussy is mine and If Hawks tries to touch you I’ll rip his head off.” He rolled his hips agian and your cunt clenched. you felt so empty, you struggled against his grasp to no avail, you desperately wanted him to fuck you already. 

“I-I don’t want to fuck Keigo,” you whimpered back in response. He pulled back ripping off your underwear before reaching to rip off his own under garments

“After tonight you won’t want anyone else,”

His cock was proportional,  just as large and intimidating as the rest of him. 

“Do you need to be stretched or are you still fucked loose from last night?” He purred teasing the head against your clit. Last night you’d done a stream again with the novelty Endeavor themed dildo and you knew no amout of stretching was going to stop this from hurting, but you welcomed the pain. 

“Just fuck me already, please Daddy I need it so much,” you moaned spreading your legs as far as you could while he was gripping your legs.  He smirked and pushed in. 

He didn’t bother going slow, you didn’t need slow pampering, you needed friction if you were going to feel better. The moment he was fully sheathed inside of you he pulled back thrusting in again.

“His pathetic prick couldn’t even compare, I wonder if you’d even feel him your cunt’s so stretched to the shape of my cock,” he growled in your ear. your eyes rolled back in your head as he pounded into, gutteral moans being pulled from your throat. The streach of his cock burned, but slowly the ache turned to pleasure as your doughy walls relaxed, and more slick coated his cock. 

“f-faster Daddy please,” you moaned. He complied shaking the desk with each rock of his hips. 

He took your cheeks in his hands tugging your face up to his level so he could bite your jaw. He let out a low groan against you skin. He was close, you could feel it. 

“Fuck I’m going to cum,”  you moaned knowing he wouldn’t be far behind. His Hand dropped to your neck cutting off your airflow. 

“Go ahead and cum on my cock, I want to feel you cream on my cock,” he growled

“you- you too, I want you to cum to,” you moaned your body spasming under his muscular frame. 

“I’ll cum when I’m damn ready slut, Just do what you’re told,” He spat.  His cock hit your g-spot making you see stars. 

“there’s my good girl,” he praised, he gripped your hips and started moving your body for you, using you like a doll as he chased his own release. 

“you’re sweet cunt is perfect for me baby, and only me,” he growled. His hips snapped forward burrying himself inside of you, his cock throbbing with release. 

“There, now you’re insides are claimed too, so you better not forget who you belong too,” he growled relaxing his grip on your neck, you slumped back on the desk, your chest heaving as you caught your breath. he pulled out and a river of semen spurted out of you. You had teased him about how much he came in the first private show, but it was always wild to see it in person.

“You sure know how to make a mess,” you teased grabbing a tissue to clean yourself up.

“It’s not a mess it’s a reminder,” he purred kissing your forehead. 

“Yeah now I’ll never forget who’s my daddy,”

[xz1005fanblog]

Hi! I’m hoping this isn’t annoying or asking too much (please just ignore me if that’s the case 😅) but i’ve seen some screenshots going around from xz’s old weibo, like the tan lina stuff. I don’t know chinese, anything about weibo, and i feel like I can’t determine whether this is real or not. I know that lots of people have … a truly intense hatred for him, so it wouldn’t be shocking if antis were just slandering him. But it’s confusing with tan lina even acknowledging it?? I saw you say in an earlier post that antis were blowing his old posts out of proportion and making up stuff, so i was wondering if you could correct the record?? ;___; thank you for reading this confused ask

Hi!

So for those who don't know about Tan Lina, she's a half-Indian, half-Chinese actress. The controversy was about this screenshot circulating on wb with XZ's old ID, where he allegedly was opposed to her playing a character and used defamatory words.

This was the alleged screenshot, when weibo shares a post to there own wall, the last person sharing the post can add their own reply to the front of what was said before. So basically in this screenshot:

Date: 2011-08-15

4th reposter: My Blake! I want to punch you! First it's Princess of the Returning Pearl (another classic character) Now it's my precious!

// (this is what is between each reposter's statements) 3rd reposter: This... Wasn't it supposed to be Feng Jie who was going to play~ Feng Jie has so much more appeal than any of them!!! //

2nd reposter: What have they changed the name to again. //

1st reposter (allegedly XZ's old ID): What! They found an Indian black girl to play s, , , //

Original poster: OMG Gossip Girl!!!! I don't want to say anything anymore...

The following screenshot is what the search bar gives when you try to search the content of that post on weibo again. We cannot find this post or any of the reposts anymore.

So many things lead us to think that the original screenshot was fake. The first is that the number of reblogs shows up as 0, which is fairly suspicious since the screenshot itself shows at least 4 reposters.

The other suspicious thing is the space between the ID and the statements, generally weibo gives automatically a double space between the colon : and the ID, which is not consistent in this screenshot.

This is a post by a non-fan who added a group chat to get paid to post/repost things on weibo for money. It basically says that she got pulled into another private group to repost that first screenshot and pour oil to the fire. The person refused to do this task against their conscience.

Whether or not the first screenshot was real, you can be assured that Xiao Zhan does not discriminate against black people.

On his weibo account in 2015 he liked this post of a African-American child who got bullied for cosplaying as Elsa for Halloween. He also liked albums released by African-American singers, and took selfies with people of color. These can still be found by scrolling far enough through his "liked posts" on weibo (I have personally verified this in 2020 when all these rumors came out).

Serena in Gossip Girls was originally characterized as a classical blond haired girl with blue eyes, I think someone who can appreciate a black-skinned child putting a costume as Elsa from Frozen would not be so scandalized with a half-Indian woman playing Serena.

I fairly suspect the actress Tan Lina to have been duped by XZ's haters and that first screenshot, and while I do sympathize with her difficulties with discrimination in her area of work (let's face it, people of color do not have it easy in any industry), I do not believe XZ personally discriminated against people of color.

Pictures dating back to his university days (that haircut is unmistakable hahaha)

Sources:

https://m.weibo.cn/status/4487238824153644?sourceType=weixin&from=10C3095010&wm=9006_2001&featurecode=newtitle

XZ's weibo

[gayestnerdsinfiction]

Rivalry

requested by @micapearls (ed hearing jon full body laugh for the first time)

Ever since he first met Jonathan Crane, Edward has had an unshakable fixation on eliciting any type of emotional expression from the other man. To the untrained eye it would appear Jonathan was unable to experience any human emotions beyond displeasure and annoyance. Jonathan doesn’t cry, he doesn’t shout when they argue, he doesn’t allow any facial expression to inadvertently cross his stoic features. Over time, Edward has been able to get a better feel for the subtle cues that indicate his partner’s emotional state, but Jonathan still makes an effort to hold his feelings and opinions close to his chest. Edward wants so badly to break him of this habit. He’s lost count of the amount of meaningless arguments he’d blown out of proportion in the hopes of making Jonathan visibly angry. But perhaps that’s just trauma reenactment.

It was after one such failed attempt to goad Jonathan into an argument that Edward finally got what he was looking for. He had unsuccessfully tried to get a rise out of the other man, throwing out the cruelest, most spiteful things he could think of. Things he didn’t mean, things he doesn’t want Jonathan to think he meant. Unfortunately, this only resulted in Jonathan disappearing off into the lab, leaving Edward to sulk alone in the living room. He’s sitting on the couch, staring absently at the television when Jonathan finally reappears from the basement, his expression as austere and unreadable as ever.

“I’m having a drink,” the older man announces, breezing past Edward and into the kitchen. He removes a bottle of whiskey from the cabinet and holds it up for Edward to see. “Do you want one?”

Edward doesn’t particularly care for whiskey but he can recognize a peace offering when he sees one. He nods wordlessly, sliding to one end of the sofa to make room for Jonathan to sit if he wanted to.

Jonathan pours the two drinks, bringing them into the living room and handing one to Edward. He accepts. Takes a small sip, trying to ignore the unpleasant taste.

“What are you watching?” Jonathan asks as he sits down a respectful distance away from Edward.

“News,” he says. “I’m looking at it more than I’m really watching it.”

Jonathan studies the screen for a few moments, sipping his own drink steadily. “Turn up the volume,” he says abruptly.

Edward obliges, directing his own attention to the TV as well. The reporter onscreen is standing in front of the Gotham University campus. There are cop cars and officers crowded around the building, many of them with heavy tactical gear and weapons.

“Shit, I hope whatever this is doesn’t screw up the heist I had planned for next weekend,” Edward mutters as he puts his drink down on the table.

“…As you can see the police are behind me attempting to negotiate the release of the thirteen hostages currently being held on the University grounds.” The camera cuts away from the reporter to show a closer shot of the police officers at the scene. Edward can make out commissioner Gordon speaking into a walkie-talkie at the front of the group. Bullock stands beside him, looking generally burly and gruff but otherwise not contributing much. “The location and condition of the hostages is unclear; all we know is that those thirteen students and faculty members are trapped somewhere in the Joker’s sadistic maze. More updates on the way as we continue to document the most recent criminal exploits of Gotham’s most fearsome criminal.”

“Ouch,” Jonathan says dryly. “Seems unfair that I’m not the most fearsome criminal in this city but I suppose there’s no accounting for taste.”

Edward, in the meantime, is too busy trying to navigate the mixture of anger, surprise, and jealousy that has begun burning in his chest to even register Jonathan’s comment. “He—I feel like I’m having a stroke, I mean, did that reporter say what I think she said?” he splutters, standing up from the couch to gesticulate wildly at the screen.

“What’s your problem?” Jonathan asks. “Joker does something like this every week, you can’t be surprised at this point.”

“You don’t understand,” he snaps, ignoring the heat he can feel rising into his face and ears. “I was going to do a sadistic maze at the university. Me! That fucking clown stole my idea! I mean, am I the only person with any goddamn integrity in this vile city?” He collapses back onto the couch, throwing his arms up. “I had the whole thing planned out, all the pieces built and ready to be set up and he just swoops in with his dollar store makeup and awful dye job and ruins everything like he always does. I mean, do you know how hard it is to build a maze from scratch and make it appear with fully functional traps and people in it before the cops show up? It’s not easy, I’ll say that. And it’s not cheap either!”

Jonathan watches Edward’s hysterical monologue in silence, takes a few moments to digest the entirety of the rant, and then bursts out laughing.

Edward’s jaw drops. Usually when Jonathan laughs it’s little more than a sharp exhale or the hint of a smile. But this laugh is a loud, unrestrained cackle, so raspy in places it almost sounds like a wheeze. It’s the first time he’s ever seen his partner seem genuinely tickled by something and he can’t even enjoy it because it’s at his own expense. He can’t tell if he’s more shocked to see his partner’s entire body wracked with laughter, or more indignant that he’s being laughed at in the first place. He snaps his mouth shut, his face screwing up into a scowl. “It’s not funny.”

“It absolutely is. Your whole thing with the Joker is hilarious.”

“It is not! He’s completely destroying my reputation, my career in this town. I mean, now I can never do that heist I had planned because the Joker already did it and everyone’s already accusing me of ripping off his costume and gimmick. If I even mention that I had the same idea, then people are going to try and accuse me of stealing his fucking intellectual property too.” He gets up again, pacing almost frantically around the room. “It doesn’t even make sense for him to do something with a school, I mean, I’m the one whose whole aesthetic and MO has to do with knowledge and learning. He should go terrorize a fucking comedy club or something, leave the higher education to those of us whose brain cells haven’t been fried by a vat of acid.” He glares at Jonathan who is still doubled over with laughter. “Stop laughing at me, I’m serious.”

He raises a hand to cover his mouth, though it does nothing to soothe his amusement. “I’m sorry. But you have to admit, you sound ridiculous right now.”

“I fail to see how this is ridiculous.”

“You’re demanding artistic integrity from a man who dresses like a clown and kills people for fun.” Jonathan manages to stifle his laughter a bit, but Edward knows he’s never going to let him live this down. “Besides, neither of you went to college so I don’t see how you have more of a right to a university based maze heist than him.”

He rolls his eyes. Jonathan loves to point out that Edward never went to college because it’s the only real accomplishment he has that Edward couldn’t easily replicate. Just because Jonathan suffered through nine years of higher education that would have driven Edward into a murderous rage doesn’t mean he’s better than him. “A maze is a type of puzzle is it not? Last time I checked I was the prince of puzzles which, in my eyes, makes me more entitled to use mazes in my traps. I also think it makes me sound cooler. I mean, ‘clown prince of crime’? How pathetic is that.”

“They’re both pathetic,” Jonathan says. “I don’t know why people keep trying to call us princes like we’re not all broke psychopaths.”

“I’m not broke.”

“But you don’t deny being a psychopath?”

Edward continues to glower at the other man who is still fighting against a smile. “I can’t believe you’re not on my side right now.”

Jonathan shrugs. “I mean, you have to admit your costume color schemes are remarkably similar.”

“They are not! My preferred color scheme is green and purple, his is purple and green, okay, they’re distinctly different!”

“Edward,” he says, using that tone he always takes when Edward is acting irrational, “Don’t you think you’re taking this a bit too seriously?”

“Not in the slightest,” he insists, knowing that this is arguably a stupid thing to care about. “You’ll never know what it’s like to always play second fiddle to everyone’s favorite costumed criminal. At least people are scared of you. Everyone just thinks I’m some kind of joke thief.”

“Well, maybe you need to give them something to be scared of. Show them you mean business.”

“Oh yeah? And how do you propose I do that in a way that is both on brand and not derivative of the Joker’s own crime sprees?”

Jonathan’s smile changes, becoming less humorous and more devious. Edward can see the familiar gleam in his eye that indicates the Scarecrow’s mind is hard at work. There’s the Jonathan he’s used to. “I bet I could give you a few ideas,” he says slyly, finishing the rest of his drink in a single swallow. “If you don’t have any qualms about torturing people.”

Despite the fact that he’s still annoyed with Jonathan for making fun of him, Edward can’t help but flash a smile back at the other man. There’s just something about those clever, sinister eyes that always draw him right back in. “What did you have in mind?”

[thisisthehardestthing]

The Gift - Small Might x Fem!Reader (Happy belated birthday)

Synopsis: Yagi frequents a coffee shop and falls in love, but there’s something beneath the surface of y/n.

Genre: Fluffy smut. I don’t write fluff so this was an experience.

an: I am extremely late posting this but happy belated birthday, Yagi. I would like to thank @evaesis​ for the request! This is the first time I’ve ever written for Small Might and it was a challenge! Thank you @heyybrittannia for your read through and kind words, and my wifey @joyousandverywarlike for beta reading even though you were on your last brain cell, i love you.

Warnings: Although none of my usual kinks are in here, I gotta tell you: unprotected sex, creampie, a bit of blood from his cough, catching feelings.

THE GIFT

It was Yagi’s favourite coffee shop: quiet, sandwiched between a bookstore and a flower-shop, small and cozy. In there, no one cared who he was, or used to be. He loved the smell of the gardenias mixing with the dark roast of his black coffee, no sugar, as he sat on a high top stool near the door, right in front of the window. He could watch passersby like this, imagine their daily routines, but also withdraw from his own day-to-day life.

Whenever the little bell above the door would ring, he’d pull out of his thoughts, to glance up. The other reason why it was his favourite was because it was the one you would frequent. Yagi’s always noticed you, working away on your laptop or reading a book in the corner of the cafe, a different one each week. Today, however, when the bell rang and you strolled in, you were empty handed. You walked right up to the cashier to order the seasonal special. Yagi’s deep, sunken eyes followed your figure, head turned slightly and chin resting on his palm. He could hear the bells in your voice make pleasant conversation with the person behind the counter; your laughter filled the air with music.

He snapped back to the front when he heard you say your ‘thank you, see you later,’ and walk back to the door. He expected you to leave and continue on with your day. He did not expect you to place a hand on the empty stool next to him.

“Do you mind if I sit here?” you asked, eyes closing with your smile. Yagi felt flustered, a slight blush tinged his cheeks at the thought of sitting so close to someone he only admired from afar. He shook his head, grateful that his blonde hair covered most of his face.

“Thanks!” There it was again, the sound of a bell as you sat down and enjoyed your drink, wordlessly staring out the window next to the ex Pro Hero.

He wanted to talk to you, to ask you on a date, somewhere a little dressier than a coffee shop. However, before he could muster up enough courage to do so, you closed the lid of your reusable mug and threw it in a tote bag.

“Well, see you around,” you said, before stepping around him and pulling open the door, leaving with his heart at the same time.

************************************************************************

The keys to Yagi’s apartment jingled in his door. It was already unlocked. His chest tightened, yet he steeled himself. Although basically quirkless, he was still a Hero. He pushed the door open slowly, allowing the soft light of the hallway to trickle into the room. With a single step in, the lights flashed on, faces and bodies jumped out from everywhere, all at once.

“SURPRISE! Happy Birthday!” A chorus of voices shouted as Yagi looked at his work colleagues and close friends. His heart raced a million beats per second, blood pumping in his ears, a cough tickling in his chest. He was touched, but also deeply annoyed at the intrusion when all he wanted to do was have a quiet night in with no one but the TV and a bottle of 1792 Bourbon to keep him company.

“Thanks everyone.” His voice was lost amongst the party chatter that started as he walked through the room, shaking hands. He made his way to his bedroom to quickly change into fresh clothes: a simple button up and slacks that hung loosely on his haggard figure.

A few drinks into the party, the tension he felt when he first walked in disappeared. He slung an arm around the sound hero known as Present Mic. Sober him would never have even considered doing that, despite how close they were.

“Hizashi, did we really have to make this a big deal?” he groaned, a cough suppressed as he looked around the decorated room, taking a large sip of his whiskey on the rocks. It burnt the back of his throat, numbing the tickle.

“Of course, man! It’s not everyday you turn thirty-seven!” Yamada’s voice was loud and grating, made slightly more tolerable by the alcohol coursing through Yagi’s veins, yet he sighed, content with the company.

It wasn’t a very large party, just a few of his closest friends were invited; Aizawa, Nemuri, Vlad and Ectoplasm. Strangely enough, none of his old students were there. He was in the middle of this thought when Hizashi pulled away from the loose grip on his shoulders to answer the doorbell, almost letting Yagi to fall to the floor without the sudden pillar of support.

It all happened so fast. One second he was leaning against his friend, the next, a chair was dragged beneath him so that his knees buckled and he fell back with a grunt. The cough he was biting down all night broke free and he covered his mouth, catching most of the blood droplets with the palm of his hand.

“What’s happening?” he managed to say as he wiped his hand on his black pants, trying to peer past the overbearing presenter and see who is at the door. He almost felt his other lung give out as he stared at the figure. He recognised you instantly, but none of the women behind you. You were every bit as confident as when he saw you earlier that day, but instead of a sweet smile on your lips, it was flirtatious and catty.

“Alright! Where’s the birthday boy?” you called out, eyes scanning the room to lock with the bright blue one’s staring at you, through you.

You faltered slightly, pulse quickening as you saw the cute guy from earlier. Out of everyone you could’ve danced for tonight, why did it have to be him? You had planned on asking him out this afternoon, having worked up the courage to finally sit next to him instead of sneaking peeks over the various books you brought to hide your gaze. Now, he would find out you were a burlesque dancer.

“Over here, ladies!” Nemuri sang, her voice called out to your group of girls that filled the living room. As they set up the music, you stood at formation, ready to begin the routine.

Your heart raced with more than performative adrenaline. Yagi’s eyes never left your body. Although all your friends were just as gorgeous, it seemed like they did not exist to him. As layers of clothing peeled away to reveal the sparkling costume beneath, loud whoops echoed through the apartment along with claps and hollers. It was tasteful, artistic, you were a professional, after all. The dance ended too soon, and with too many layers still on for the men in the room’s liking. However, as respectful heroes, they thanked you for your time and you left, taking one last look over your shoulder to see Yagi’s eyes still following your every movement. You couldn’t help but smile as the door closed behind you. Maybe you still had a chance the next time you bumped into him.

Yagi was unsure if it was the alcohol in his system, or the lust that coursed through his veins, but seeing you tonight, not nude, but neither fully dressed, snapped something in him. It was the push he was waiting for to make his move. He ignored the practical dronings of Aizawa and lurched out of his chair, sprinting to the door to catch you before you left the building.

“Hey!” he called, voice echoing in the empty lobby of the apartment block. You looked back, the group you were with pausing as well, but when they saw who it was, smiled coyly and bumped you with their elbows, whispering that they’ll be outside.

Yagi was out of breath when he reached you, stopping a metre short, breathing heavily.

“Hi.” He didn’t know what to say now that you were once again in front of him.

“Hello,” that voice of yours, back to being a melody that made his stomach flip. “Is something wrong?”

“Huh? Oh! Uh, no, it’s just,” Yagi trailed off, raising a hand to scratch the back of his neck, blonde hair standing up with the movement, “we’ve met before right? At the coffee shop.”

You couldn’t stop the smile that spread across your lips. Although embarrassing, he had recognized you, remembered you.

“Yeah! That’s right, I sat next to you today.” There was an awkward silence that stretched over the both of you as you thought of the next thing to say.

“Would you like to go have a coffee with me sometime?” he asked first. You couldn’t believe he asked you the question you wanted to this afternoon.

“I’d love to.” you gave him your phone number. He read your name, the sound of it like heaven from his lips and you wanted to hear it one more time.

It was close to midnight when Yagi called you, the party was already over. You waited three rings before answering and when you did, he wasted no time planning to see you the next day.

****************************************************************

You were running late, not even bothering with a jacket as you walked down the street to the coffee shop to meet with Yagi. Your first date. You had butterflies and the five minute walk took an eternity as well as an instant. You could see him through the windows, staring at his hands at a table near the back wall, a private corner that was meant for students during their exam week. With an inhale, you pushed open the door, hearing the familiar jingle above you. Your date’s eyes jumped up, eager and bright despite the shadows around them. You made your way to the table and he stood, towering over you, making  you wonder exactly how tall he was, and if everything hidden was proportional. The thought made you blush and you awkwardly gave him a wave. He pulled out your chair for you, waiting until you were seated before sinking into the seat opposite.

For lack of a better word, he was unbelievably sexy, exactly your type. The way his blonde hair was brushed back, with the stragglers framing his face, made your heart skip as you pictured your fingers running through it.

“How are you doing?” he asked, the question pulled you from your reverie. Could those piercing eyes read your mind?

“I’m fine, thank you… How are you doing? Hung over? It seemed like a fun party.” You saw his eyes darken slightly when you mentioned last night, but they shone again with his answer.

“Despite how I look, it takes a lot to get me drunk, so I’m good,” he laughed, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck, pushing his already spiky hair higher up.

“Good…” you replied, settling into an awkward silence. You had wanted this for so long, but now that you were finally in the moment, the thought of what to do and talk about eluded you. You needed something to break the ice.

“Oh, here,” he pushed a coffee cup towards you. You glanced down, only noticing that he had two cups when he brought it to your attention. “It’s the seasonal drink, I noticed you ordered it yesterday. I hope it’s not too forward.”

Those butterflies flew up into your chest as you wrapped a hand around the mug, fingers brushing his before he let go. A jolt of electricity bolted through you and down into your core. His hand was so warm, and even though it was for a brief second, you wanted nothing more to reach over and grab his entire palm.

“Oh! Thanks. No, it’s fine. This is my favourite, for now at least.”

He nodded his head in agreement.

“The coffee here is really good.” He glanced down at his cup, the plain, black liquid steaming and mixing with the sweet aroma of your own drink. His hands were so large, it was all you could do not to think about them on your body.

You uncrossed and re-crossed your legs, accidentally dragging your foot up his shin with the movement. The lightning in his eyes turned to thunder as they captivated your stare. His body stiffened under your touch, and you wondered if that is what you needed to get to know him better, crack through the tension and awkwardness. You brought the hot drink up to your lips, licking them after the sip, taking note of how Yagi’s eyes dropped down to follow the movement. You swallowed your nerves.

“Toshinori,” you whispered his name and you watched as he pressed his lips tightly together.

“Yagi, please, call me Yagi,” he interrupted you.

“Yagi,” you tested the name on your tongue, liking the way it dripped like honey. “Can I confess something to you?” He nodded, leaning forward expectantly to hear what you had to say with baited breath.

“I’ve wanted to talk to you for a long time now,” you shared, keeping your stare level, voice low. “I haven’t been able to get you out of my head and after last night…” You brought your foot back to his shin. Your sandal off so that your foot crawled underneath the entrance of his pant leg, trailing up slowly until you couldn’t lift it any higher. You caressed his leg in public, the arch of your foot perfectly pressed against the curve of his calf. “I’d like to give you a little birthday present.”

He bit back a moan when your foot dropped away, the depth of the ocean in his eyes as he searched your face for a hint of insincerity. Finding none, the smallest of smirks graced his lips and he stood up, his chair scraping back. He followed you out of the coffee shop, your drinks barely touched.

****************

Yagi only felt the slightest feeling of deja vu as he sat in the wooden dining chair in the middle of your apartment, the sundress you wore completely opposite to the dark expression in your eyes. The music in the background played softly as you swayed your hips, mimicking some of last night's routine.

You reached around to pull the zip down, keeping your eyes on the ex-Pro-Hero. When your back was open, you spun around, looking slyly over your shoulder as you pushed the shoulder straps along the length of your clavicle, feeling the fabric drop down your arms and fall to the floor, billowing in a circle around your feet. You heard Yagi’s sharp inhale more than saw it. Sure, he saw a lot of your body last night, the sequined hotpants number doing little to hide from his imagination. Now, your beautiful ass was on display and he almost stood up to take you to bed right there.

You continued to rock your hips to the beat, fingertips trailing up the sides of your waist, until it came to touch the fabric of your bra. You found the clasp and unhooked it, catching the cups against your breasts as you turned around to smile at the open mouthed man in your living room. You could basically see the words in his eyes, hungry, ‘drop it’. Your forearm came across your chest to cover your nipples as you peeled the bra away, gripping it loosely between your fingers, away from your body.

“Happy birthday, Yagi,” you drawled as the fabric dropped to the floor unceremoniously. Your palms cupped your breasts and he let out a whimper. You were always good at teasing.

The music, your skin, the way your body moved set him on edge. He lifted his hands and motioned for you to come closer. You obliged, strutting over to him. His eyes were right in front of your chest and he licked his lips as he stared at the mounds pressed tight to your body. You opened your fingers, letting the nipple poke through. You saw the way his eyes darkened and he grabbed your waist, pulling you down to straddle his hips. You let your breasts go to grip the top of the chair, arms caging him in. His eyes darted down. They traced over the soft skin and nipples, over your belly and the way your clothed groin perched just under the tent in his pants. His breath caught in his throat as you begun to grind down. He gazed into your eyes, your noses almost touching. You could feel his cold breath fanning over your lips.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered.

The hands on your waist traced up your sides, eliciting a shiver. Warm and large, they slipped around to your back, kneading the skin along your spin. You looked at each other, and for a few moments, time stood still. Then your lips connected and the universe exploded all at once. You could taste colour when your mouths joined. Your arms bent, fingers coming into contact with his blonde hair, and you threaded your fingers through it, tips massaging the scalp. His tongue swiped along your bottom lip and you readily parted them to let him in.

You explored each other's mouths, and when your chest pressed tightly against his, you were reminded just how clothed he was and how bare you were. A whine slipped from your lips and into his and you tugged the bottom of his shirt. His kiss faltered, and he pulled away. There was a swirl of emotions in his eyes before he lifted his shirt up over his head and threw it to the side. Your hands pressed against his chest as your lips connected once more. They trailed down and you felt his sinew and muscles beneath your finger tips from the years of hero work, until your right hand hit a texture different to the rest of his skin.

Yagi flinched into the kiss and you pulled away to glance briefly down, seeing the massive scar that bloomed over his left rib cage. His chest stopped rising as he held in his breath, so you closed your eyes and went back to his lips, letting your hands fall to his belt and shorts as you kissed him, opening the buttons but not taking them off.

“Bedroom?” he growled against your lips, hands moving to grab the bottom of your thighs. You mumbled affirmations against his lips as he stood and you wrapped your legs around his waist, surprised by how much stronger he was than he looked. The thought made your head spin, excited for what was to come. From the sudden loss of the floor, your sandals clattered to the ground loudly.

You whispered where the room was, pausing the kiss for a few moments to open the door, and then you were on your bed. Yagi stood back, admiring how you looked laid out on your sheets, topless with simple underwear covering the soaked skin between your legs. He kicked off his shoes and pulled his pants down, hooking his boxers at the same time so his cock sprung free all at once. Your jaw dropped at the sight of it, a girth unlike how lanky it’s owner was, and impossibly hard. He smiled at your reaction, glancing down.

“Like what you see?” he teased, fisting it with a few pumps.

You could only nod, mouth watering. You dipped your fingers beneath your underwear hem to peel them off but he shook his head. Climbing onto the bed, he caged on your body with his long arms, bending down to pepper kissing along your jaw and neck, trailing down your chest before it reached your lower stomach, right at the edge of the fabric. Two fingers rose to rub tentatively over your covered mound that was now drenched. He nudged your legs apart with his knees and settled between them. Kneeling on the bed, he tugged at the fabric as you lifted your ass to help him. A smirk danced on his lips, which turned into a moan when a sliver of slick broke apart.

“Damn, you’re really wet,” he mused, moving forward once more so that his chest was hovering over yours, two fingers expertly teasing your outer folds to make you keen in response.

“I’ve been waiting a long time,” you whined as the tip of his middle finger slipped inside. You instinctively arched your back in order to push more of the finger in and Yagi happily obliged.

“So have I.”

His fingers were longer, thicker than your own and he gave a few experimental thrusts as he leant down to place a soft kiss on your lips. Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him deeper into yourself as he stroked your velveteen walls. The passion that had built up inside your body burst forth and poured into the kiss, lips parting in tandem and tongues dancing together. Yagi slipped in a second finger and you moaned, breaking the kiss to press the back of your head deeper into the mattress. You felt so warm, so wet, on his fingers that he couldn’t wait to feel you wrapped around his cock. He curved his fingers up, hitting that spot that curled your toes with each touch. You felt a finger on your lips and you opened your mouth to suck them, whining when they pulled out too soon before finding the pressure on your clit.

“Oh, fuck, yes Yagi.” His name rolled off your tongue so perfectly, sweet like honey, and he increased his efforts to wind up that coil in your gut. He felt your walls begin to squeeze rhythmically, pulling his fingers deeper in, his knuckles almost bruising your bones where they repeatedly slapped against your groin.

“That’s right, beautiful, cum on my fingers.” The pressure to your clit deepened, your slick creating a delicious friction with the movements. His words made your eyes roll to the back of your head, chin lifted as your hands flung out to the side to grab anything. He leaned forward, his height a strength as he scattered kisses to your neck. It was his warm breath fanning across your sensitive skin that pushed you over the edge, crying his name out as you convulsed beneath him. He weakened his touch, stroking you gently through your high, the hand on your clit reaching up to push hair out of your face so that he could watch you come undone around nothing but his fingers.

When you opened your eyes again to find him staring at you, you blushed, the heat on your cheeks rivaling the warmth in your belly. Yagi pulled out his fingers, and lifted them to his mouth, moaning at your taste. You whimpered at the sight, moving your hips so that they brushed against his thigh nestled between them, feeling empty without him inside you.

“Please fuck me, Yagi,” you asked, hands trailing down his back, purposefully skipping the scar that wrapped around his side, and traced circles into his sinewy skin.

The tip of his dick kissed your entrance, teasing up along your folds. Your heart pounded from the thought of his girth stretching you out, and your legs opened wider, knees bending acutely and hips slightly lifted. Then, he entered, and the feeling of you swallowing him in so readily made his pulse quicken. He had to bite back the tickle in his throat that would make him cough. He was moving slowly, relishing the way your tight walls wrapped around him, squeezing him, until he was fully sheathed.

“Fuck, beautiful, you’re so tight,” he wheezed, the tickle threatening to burst out. You could only mumble a response, feeling so full with him. An eternity passed, the pants from your body the only sounds in the room, before you dug your nails into his skin, his head snapping up to stare at your lust-filled eyes.

“Yagi, move.”

The simple words from your mouth spurred him to life. He dragged his hips back, agonizingly slow, before snapping it back. He set a fast pace, entranced by how you bounced with each thrust. A hand grabbed your breast, massaging the soft flesh between his calloused palms, relishing in how you responded so eagerly to his touch. Soft pleads filled his ears, asking for more, telling him how good he felt. He hooked a leg onto his shoulder, lifting your hips slightly as he connected against your skin. The hand on your breast snaked up, massaging the skin of your sternum, pressing to pin you in place. The other hand, the one that was inside you, found residence between your lips again. The taste of your arousal danced on your tongue and you sucked his fingers, eager to please him.

It had been so long since Yagi was with anyone. The life of a retired Pro-Hero that was no longer in the spotlight made it easy for him to slip away, looking so different from All-Might’s public figure. The way your tongue folded under his touch, massaged the grooves in his fingers, made some part of him lose control, thumb and pinky wrapping around your chin to pull your head down. It was almost bruising, the pressure delicious and real, eyes staring into each other.

He was completely in control of your body, the thought making you clench around him, wanting him to fall deeper into you so that he could never leave. The sheen on his forehead from sweat made you realise he was holding something back, so your hands reached up, tracing his jaw gently before trailing down the back of his neck and holding his shoulders. It was opposite to the rough pace he set himself in. You wanted to tell him not to hold back, but the fingers in your mouth restricted the words, so you pleaded with your gaze. The thing that kept him at bay snapped, and a deep guttural groan escaped from his chest, along with a cough.

The spurt of blood surprised you. It dripped down his chin, some falling on your chest, but his thrusts didn’t slow. His chin turned up, gazing at the ceiling as his thrusts became erratic, chasing a release. The palm pinning you down moved to wrap around your throat, squeezing only slightly in order to create that pressurized feeling of your blood flow being restricted. His fingers left your mouth, coming back to massage tight circles on your clit to build you up, willing you to find your release at the same time as him.

It didn’t take much coaxing, the bundle of nerves still sensitive from your previous orgasm, and your vision began to blur, however you did not take your eyes off his face, watching the blood leak from the corner of his mouth. It was primal, feral, and the clouded look in his eyes made you want to pull him close, into your skin. Your orgasm exploded, bursting at the seams as you clamped down on his cock, reeling him in close and you felt him release, his cum filling and warming you up.

He stilled, hands falling to beside your neck, caging you in, head dropped slightly so that his hair fell in front of his face, blocking his eyes. You shifted your hips, feeling his cock begin to soften inside you, but you didn’t let him pull out, locking your ankles behind his back to keep him close.

“Yagi, look at me,” you whispered. He hesitated, before lifting his chin and a reserved gaze caught your eye. “Kiss me,” you demanded, the blood on his skin not deterring your feelings of affection for him in the slightest.

The emotions in his eyes swirled before he gave in to your request, falling onto his elbows and pressing a desperate, sloppy kiss against your lips. It tasted metallic, warm and you moaned into it, legs falling open to relax. He collapsed down, rolling onto his right and pulling you tightly against his chest. You snuggled into his hold, nose pressed against his throat, fingers tracing up his sides carefully. You felt his cum slide out and down your thighs, onto your bed spread but you couldn’t care with how content you felt, floating on cloud nine with the man wrapped around you.

“Thank you,” his voice was hoarse, making you look up to figure out what he meant, “for not turning away.” The late afternoon sun peaked in between the blinds of your bedroom, littering paneled shadows on his skin. You pressed a kiss against his throat.

“Do you want to stay the night?” you asked, holding him tighter against your body. He nodded, nose burying into the top of your hair, a relieved sigh from his lips.

“I’d love that.”

------------------------------

@whats-her-quirk​​ @kamehamethot​​ @mmalfoydraco​​

[tipsydipsydo]

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader

Gender of the Reader: female

Word Count: 3.7k

Alternative Universe: CEO! AU

Rating: 18+

Genre: Smut!

Warnings: Sexual Language + a bit Dirty Talk; Dom-/Sub-Themes (Dom! Hoseok x Sub! Reader); Sadism; Masochism; Degradation; Oral (m); Deepthroating; Cum-Eating; Sextoys; Lingerie; Pet-Play (Collar + Leash); Bondage; Spreader-Bar; Exhibtionism/Voyeurism; Teasing + Edging; Begging; Praising; Orgasm Control; rough (!) unprotected vaginal Sex (please stay safe!); very light mentions of alcohol (one sentences)

A/N: Over the weekend I looked through my old writing folders and... I think I've found some little diamonds in there.

Honestly, I'm impressed by myself.

I've rewritten the perspective of this story here and added some little details but in general I translated the original.

I hope you'll enjoy my old work as much as I did it. 😈💜

By the way... I wrote this story with barely 15.

Let me know what do you think about this story~ 👀🙈

Sneak Peak: "Laying open, completely helpless and so vulnerable in front of him. Presented like a meal on a silver tablet. His meal, his prey. Your wolf is starving, licking his lips with an animalistic and devilish smile at the sight of your parted pussy lips. Revealing his most desired things, this swollen and sensitive clit and this pretty tiny pussyhole. Clenching around nothing, literally begging to get filled with his fat cock and stuffed up with his cum until it’s leaking out of his little sweet swan..."

[Links]

▪ Masterlist of my own writings

▪ Blog Navigation

「© tipsydipsydo」

The following story is my intellectual property and belongs only to my blog tipsydipsydo.tumblr.com!

Do not repost, plagiarize, translate or use any of my work in general!

That includes reposting my content on other social media platforms as well, even when you link me as the original author.

Please respect that. I’ll fight any illegal use of my work!

Thank you.

With a soft, barely audible click you open the door. A cold breeze welcomes you and caresses your body, giving you goosebumps. Slowly you step out of your bedroom and walk down the long corridor with well-considered steps.

The bright light of the full moon falls through the white, wide open double doors and guides your way. Your black heels clicking softly on the expensive parquet floor and the chains on the straps jingle seductively with every step, giving you self-confidence. Let you sound erotic and elegant without Hoseok even having seen you.

You pause within the frame of the double doors. Looking at the tall man, who’s standing at the huge panoramic window and looking down at Seoul. On the 20th floor you have a breathtaking view.

The moon is full and round, bathing everything in a soft, mystical light. The light breaks in Hoseok's dark hair and makes him look almost angelic. Even though you know he's the devil in an angel’s costume. 

He doesn't turn around to you, waiting for you to come to him.

You look at him closely. The tailored suit fits perfectly around his muscular body. His body proportions are in perfect harmony, he’s a breathtaking attractive man. Add this to his height, it makes him look really intimidating. Sublime.

His face has sharp, masculine features. Controlled. He controls everything. He loves to possess power and to demonstrate it all too clearly. He never loses his temper or acts impulsively. When it comes to those sessions between you two, there are no actions leaded by emotions, only controlled and thoughtful activities. He knows behind every single one its meaning, why he does this.

His skin has a sensual and seductive honey-gold tone. In stark contrast, his eyes shine in a cool, almost black brown. You have never seen such a dark eye colour and maybe that’s it what attracts you to him. 

This special, rare thing about him makes him incredibly attractive for you. It's like having a very rare diamond. It's the uniqueness of it that makes you want to own it. But in your case, it's the other way around. He owns you. And that's what makes you feel fulfilled.

Even though others may not see it that way, he gives you so much of himself. With it you not even mean the material things, he gives you so much of his love.

Yes, it’s love. His affection and loving torments, how he cares for you, the way he gives you commands and taking control. That is what fills you the most and it’s also the reason why you can give yourself completely to him. Hoseok takes your control and turns it into his own.

Others would panic if they were deprived of personal control. But if he takes it from you, then he will take care of you, so you can let yourself fall. Giving you more control than before. You trust him, he knows your limits and keeps to them strictly. He has control over everything and leaves nothing to luck or chance. That’s the reason why you trust him so much. He doesn’t act impulsively and rashly, he never crosses the boundaries.  

This control, this power that he has and exercises on others is what fascinates you so much. You love this dominance in him, it gives you a sense of security and safety. He doesn’t make any mistakes, you can completely let yourself go with him. Finally you have found the person who fits you perfectly. He has this special power, dominance and control and what you want is to submit to him completely, to obey him. 

Just the sight of him and this dominant aura around him excites you. You breathe out audibly and can hardly take your eyes off him. You know that you’re not undiscovered. Hoseok knows perfectly well that you are standing here, shamelessly staring at him. But he doesn't say anything, doesn't rebuke you, because he loves your awestruck, admiring gaze.

He knows exactly what kind of effect he has on you. He knows, no, he feels it in every fiber of his body how much you want to submit to him and beg him to give you any kind of relieve or satisfaction. His self-satisfied smile is already visible on his lips.

Your breath hitch, you shallow hard, your décolleté rises and falls quickly. Now you realize how hard your buds already are under the very fine tip of your negligee. The reason for this are these wild fantasies that are haunting you in your pretty head.

How you would love it to be tied to the bed again. Lying completely exposed under him, while he pours champagne over your breasts and letting it run over your stomach onto your until it collects in your navel. How much do you long for him to punish you when you are dying of lust and can't keep still... 

Every warning bite on your nipples sent a wave of sweet pain through your body, causes that a lot more of your juice is flowing out of you. You can remember how you moaned as you writhed under him, completely exposed and helpless to face his punishments. You thought at first, he’d give you finally some relieve when he pushed the vibrator into your clenching hole. But still, he refused to let you cum... 

His face was filled with pure satisfaction, he enjoyed hearing you beg... even dirty words left your otherwise shy mouth, out of pure desperation. That brought an amused smile on his lips. 

Hoseok loves to demonstrate his power and influence, it amuses himself how quickly you've fallen for the devil. No wonder he keeps calling you "my defiled angel." But you are so aroused by his arrogance, his self-confidence and cockyness. There's nothing you can do about it. You've gone right into his trap. The big bad wolf has captured the innocent Swan. The dying swan. Blood, the dark red blood stains the snow-white, pure feathers, while the black wolf's canines around her throat. 

"Turn the music on.” It’s the first thing that Hoseok say to you this night. His voice is deep and commanding, you obey his commands all too willingly. 

You step quietly to the stereo and turn it on. His chosen CD must be already in the music player. Now the sounds of slow piano play and the dark, erotic voice of a woman fill the plain, unadorned room.  White walls with light wooden beams, white leather couch and some fake fur blankets lie over the armrests of the furniture, which however look very real. A huge plasma TV dominates the room, together with some large boxes. On the right wall there is a huge bookshelf. Only filled with works in their original languages. Hoseok knows them all perfectly. 

Your ears focus on the slow but stimulating song that comes quietly out of the speakers. Toxic. Involuntarily you have to think immediately of this korean man, who still looks unperturbed at the huge metropolis to his feet. 

Too much time has passed, you made him wait, which he absolutely hates! You swallow nervously, at the sound of his voice you should have noticed it immediately! He sounded a little annoyed and waiting. Others would not have heard it, but you have already learned to hear that little difference. The emphasis of the words alone! God, how stupid and inattentive you are! Hoseok hates it when his counterpart doesn't concentrate completely on him and his wishes. Then he becomes very unpleasant and just his cold gaze punish you more than any spanks. 

With a weak stomach and chewing nervously on your lower lip, you start moving and slowly walk towards him. The translucent chiffon hugs your naked thighs tenderly and the cool air on your uncovered womanhood shoots a stimulating tingle through your body. Under this almost completely transparent black negligee you’re wearing nothing.

Your face is adorned with a filigree venetian mask. It is made of black metal and the transparency of it gives you just little anonymity. At the ends it is adorned with dark green diamond particulas and and on the bridge of your nose sparkles an emerald diamond. At his request you wear this outfit.

Your breasts sways gently with every step, the lace fabric rubs against your hard nipples and let the hot ball in your abdomen grow bigger. The small lust balls swings a little in yourself, let hot shivers of lust running down your spine. The light swinging of the balls in your sextoy heats your desire up with every step, so that your arousal is already running down the insides of your thighs. Let the beguiling smell of femininity exude.

You have to bite your lower lip in order not to whimper out loudly and your hands turns into fists, you wish, you could touch yourself for some relief. You’re so unbelievable desperate, even you would call yourself pathetic. But without his own instructions, Hoseok wouldn't find this funny at all and would punish you without any mercy for your indiscipline.

"How can I serve you, Master?" you ask quietly, your head lowered submissively, after stopping a few meters behind your dom. At first, Hoseok doesn't react until he slowly turns around after two minutes. "Why did you wait so long, Y/N? Why were you late?" he asks in a calm, demure tone. 

"I...I...", you start stuttering, looking for an excuse that doesn't sound as pathetic as the actual reason. That you were dreaming away and forgot the time. But Hoseok knows you and sees through your intentions immediately. 

He steps towards you, threatening you and overtowering your small frame. His aura is suddenly freezing cold and even if you can't see his face, you know that you would only find cold anger and displeasure in it.  How his jaw would be clench and his nostrils would be flaring as if he had actually problems to control himself. But his gaze is the most humiliating. 

Cold, icy dark brown, almost black eyes. Showing only resentment and disappointment. 

"Are you thinking about lying to me right now, Y/N?", he asks with a harsh and growling voice that has nothing in common with anything melodic anymore. You should have known never, really never lie to Mr. Jung Hoseok. 

"Answer me!", he groan angrily and impatiently, assessing you like a hungry predator. As soon as you admit you wanted to lie to him, he will pounce on you and tear you apart. But that's what makes you hot, you like to play with fire, you like to test your limits with him, love the thrill and excitement of being punished again. 

You’re so uncomfortable right in the moment, your gaze searches over shiny parquet floor, not daring to look up. You don't even know if you are allowed to. But this dangerous aura of Hoseok's dominance lets a little moan escape your throat. Lust takes over your body, taking every fiber of your whole being.

Finally you dare to look up carefully, but you doesn’t look him in the eye.  "I-I'm sorry, M-Master..." you mumble inaudibly. A sigh comes from your husband, who shakes his head. The moonlight shimmers in his hair, reminding you a bit of the velvety fur of a black panther. 

"...And I thought I reached you better. Why are you always so dreamy and inattentive? Is it that what you want? Do you long for punishments, my little swan?," he cooed as he approached you and grabbed your hair, pulling it not really gently back so you would look at him. His black eyes searching yours, looking inside you. He can read your mind you like an open book. 

He sees all your desires, your desires for him. The desire to submit to him and to let the dirtiest things be done to you. It makes you hot, it makes you horny. Pure desire, lust and despair pulsates through your body. Sexual need, the longing for sex, naughty play sessions, punishment and redemption dominates your mind and body.  A greedy fire of passive passion blazes hot inside you.

His gaze, which consumes everything of you, frees you with his eyes from the little bit of cloth, which you still carry on your body. Exposes and humiliates you. But you love to e under control of this dominant Korean man, following his will. The confirmation can be seen on your body, your arousal can almost be smelled. 

You want to swallow, but your body trembles with excitement like aspen leaves and a thin layer of sweat lies on your skin. The tight-fitting choker collar with its many details and chains reminds you at this moment more of a dog collar... It turns out for a good reason.

A pant leaves your full lips and you look at him with eyes, veiled in lust.  "Please punish me, Master! I-I want, I need to be punished for my stupidity! M-Make anything you want with me!" it bursts out of you, your voice trembles in lust. He begins to smile arrogantly and amusedly, releases your hair from his merciless grip and instead gently caresses your neck.  

"Good girl...", he says tenderly, praises you for having realized that you deserve an appropriate punishment for your misconduct. Suddenly he pushes your hair on your left shoulder, to get to the clasp of the chocker. Then something very cold hits your warm neck, causing you to flinch. You look up confused and discover a black leather leash, that is attached to your choker. Hoseok encourages you with an uninterpretable smile and tug on the leash.

"Come, my little.", he commands and you follow him well-behaved. A wild tingling sensation takes over your body and you are so curious to know what he has planned for you.  A lustful moaning escapes your mouth when you see where he is leading you.

To your pleasure room.

He opens the room quietly and you enjoy the smell that is still hanging in the air.  Suede, lacquer and a little bit more of the sparkling sweetness of your past play sessions. The light is dimmed, gives the whole thing an erotic-sensual touch. Your relationship is a little different.

Of course, he punishes you with tender slaps and spanks, tortures you until you die of sweet pain that’s paired up with irrepressible lust, but with you everything is based more on the balance of power. 

You enjoy being submissive, being given orders and being dominated. He loves to demonstrate his power to control you.  It doesn't have to have anything to do with physical pain, it's simply about the principle of power play. It excites you to be led and humiliated by him. To see his proud and superior, but also lustful smile.

Your master goes to the restored, antique-looking wing chair with the mahogany wooden feet. He sits down in it and straightens up in the armchair almost threateningly.  "On your knees," he says in a commanding tone, that is otherwise only found in the military and make an elegant gesture to you, to get down on your knees. 

Your heart makes a jump, his commanding voice only makes your pussy lips and clitoris swell even more. What would you give to have him eating you out. What... what would he do it if you’re literally offering yourself to him? But you do what you are ordered to, kneeling down to his feet and waiting for that what comes next.

"And now... lick them off", the order comes from above and he holds out his shiny polished brown suede shoe. You falter... You have to lick his shoes...? Unsure you look up to him with an questioning look. A nod of encouragement is returns to you. You swallow before carefully taking his left foot in your hands and holding it to your lips. 

This really makes you a bit uncomfortable and that's exactly why there is such a treacherous pull in your abdomen. Only more of your juice is flowing down your thigh. A little bit awkwardly you start to lick over the leather, getting over the time more and more eager and you end up enjoying it even in a precarious way.  The bitter taste of material is new for you, but with shy looks you squint at Hoseok, who obviously enjoys the sight. Lust seizes your body anew and you surrender completely to your humiliating punishment.

He grabs a handful of your hair and pulls you up a little. Between his legs, to his crotch. You look at him excitedly and this animal lust in his dark eyes says more than every word. 

Eagerly you open his trousers and pull down the waistband of his black shorts. His rock-hard cock jumps towards you and almost unrestrainedly you give yourself to his unspoken command. Licking all over this gorgeous shaft, massaging his balls and inhaling this musky scent of his groins. Pulling the foreskin back from his tip to give sweet kitten licks on his exposed crown. 

Hoseok's lustful look lies heavy on you, until he puts a hand on the back of your head and decides for himself what you do or don't do. He fucks your mouth in a controlled manner, guides your head and you enjoy the salty taste of his presumably on your nimble tongue. A muffled groan rises up Hoseok's throat before his cum runs down your throat. Willingly you swallow everything, licking lasciviously over your lips and give him a seductive look. You love that smug look on his face. 

"Such a good little swan you are for me...," he rewards you, gets up an lead you to the finally giant king-size bed, which is covered in black silk. 

He ties your leath tightly to the metal crossbars on the headboard so that you can hardly move. Exactly this fact causes a wave of electrifying lust flickers through you and you whimper willingly as you have to pull your knees up to your chest, as he ties your wrists with red rope to your ankles and attaches a spreader bar between your knees.  

He smiles smugly at you, your whole body is almost completely consumed by the pleasure you feel in being so exposed to him. His hand tenderly caresses your sweaty thigh and his fingertips play with your swollen clitoris. Then he clears his throat.  

"My little swan... You have mastered your punishment so well, now you may have the right to choose a reward... what would it be?" he asked tenderly and his dark lustblown pupils look into yours.  You tremble under his haunting gaze, your body soon burns from the inside out, such heat rages within you. The wish is already on your tongue, but your shame is still too big to say it out loud. 

"What do you wish, my beautiful swan?," Hoseok encouraged you with his dark, erotic voice and a... kinda diabolical smile. 

"Fuck me, Master! P-Please! I-I want you to stretch my tiny pussy open with your hard cock, I want you to be merciless, ruin me like you desire and fill me up with your thick cum!", you almost scream out with dark red cheeks. In that moment, he had pulled the lustballs out of you, with only one single tug.

You breath quickly, panting almost like a dog bitch in heat. Laying open, completely helpless and so vulnerable in front of him. Presented like a meal on a silver tablet. His meal, his prey. Your wolf is starving, licking his lips with an aminalistic and devilish smile at the sight of your parted pussy lips. Revealing his most desired things, this swollen and sensitive clit and this pretty tiny pussyhole. Clenching around nothing, literally begging to get filled with his fat cock and stuffed up with his cum until it’s leaking out of his little sweet swan.

Without any warning Hoseok sinks mercilessly and deeply into you, didn’t let you adjust to his long and girthy length. The rhythm is hard and fast. It’s exactly what you were begging for. Lust has taken over your mind and there was no room for shame. Hoseok pants heavily and bury himself deeper and deeper into you, reaching your cervix what let you cry out in pain and pleasure. You hardly know how to handle your lust, it feels like as if everything is already too much but still not enough to pleasure the greedy desire in your body. He fucks you so good, you’re overflowing with juices.

Your pussy makes lewd squelching sounds, these noise turns you on beyond belief and let your desperate cunt literally dripping onto the sheets. The smell of primal, animalistic and uninhibited sex is hanging heavily in the air.  Hoseok's white dress shirt gets sweat stains and this sight, this feeling of his pure lust makes you float.

You’re getting closer and closer in no time. The fact of getting brutally used only for Hoseok’s own pleasure let your own lust increase, building it higher and higher into the sky. The thought alone to know, that he’ll take you this night definitely to the point of pure exhaustion gets you high. Yes, maybe you are a nymphomaniac, but at this moment you want nothing more than to get fucked and breeded by Hoseok like the cockslut you truly are.

Your body burns, is ablaze with light and finally... finally that moment comes when all that pent-up lust bursts out of you. Your body trembles and you scream, whimpering out the lust of your orgasm. The world explodes before your inner eye in the most beautiful colors.

Only a few minutes later, Hoseok is already sitting in front of you again, smiling devilishly and watching his cum slowly dripping out of you. 

The night has just begun.

Yes, you are the fallen angel who has fallen to the devil. 

You are the white swan who fell victim to the black wolf.

[spinedog]

Prompt idea: Weiss, Blake and Yang taking Ruby out to drinks for her 21st.

No possible way that could go wrong…

(Went college AU with this, expected shenanigans and got feels instead. Whoops)

////

Halloween probably wasn’t the best day to introduce someone to the world of drinking - which was exactly why they had decided to skip the campus bar in favor of the ‘adult’ section of a local Boston Pizza. Still within walking distance from the apartment the four girls shared, but far enough away from campus to avoid the chaos of drunk, costumed students.

Though, to be fair, they had apparently brought some chaos of their own.

“Dead-eye!” The shriek carried through the hubbub of the pub’s patrons as Ruby brandished a plastic rifle. They’d all opted to leave costumes at home and just enjoy the night, but Ruby hadn’t bothered to completely wash off the Grim Reaper skull painted on her face. The remnants of the black and white painted flash in the light of the winning screen on the Big Buck Hunter machine as Ruby turned to Weiss. “Get it? Dead eye?” She gestured to her face, grin spreading to cartoonish proportions.

“I - I hate you. Why did we walk all the way out here if you were just going to find a way to play video games anyways?” Weiss waved her arms in a mixture of fury and disbelief, freshly unbraided hair cascading down her back. “And how are you getting better?”

Ruby blinked, as though caught off guard. Then slowly offered the rifle. “…do you want a turn?”

From the relative calm of their booth nearby, Yang chuckled as Weiss accepted the plastic weapon with a huff. “So - do you think Schnee’s gonna be a mean drunk, or just a feisty one?” She’d long since taken off the sunglasses and leather jacket, but she could still feel the paint on half her face that Ruby had layered on. Apparently the Terminator look had suited her, at least according to Ruby’s glee and Weiss’ split second of admiration. Even Blake had done a double-take when she’d caught sight of Yang this morning. 

The shadow in her peripheral vision shifted her weight, taking another sip of the rum and coke in front of her. “Feisty - alcohol just removes your inhibitions, doesn’t change who you are. And Weiss doesn’t have a mean bone in her body.”

That, she didn’t expect. Yang turned in her chair to examine Blake. “You think so? I thought you and Weiss didn’t get along.”

The lean woman shrugged, rocking back and forth as she settled into a cross-legged position on the bench. “Thought she was a spoiled bitch at first, but she’s actually not. She’s just… snappy. Like a little dog. But she never means any harm.” A smile flickered on Blake’s usually stoic face as she watched the two girls squabble at the elderly shooting game in the corner.

Yang, on the other hand, had completely forgotten about Weiss, Ruby, and the game. Blake had always been something of a mystery in the two months the three girls had lived together. Always quiet, always keeping to herself, barely interacting with anyone past the occasional nod or dry joke. Hell, she hadn’t even chosen a costume for Halloween, going to classes in her usual clothing with a dry comment that she’d dressed up as a broke college student. 

Yet here she was, watching Ruby and Weiss with something that looked like fondness.

“Can I ask you something?” Yang chose her words carefully, not wanting to spook the girl in front of her back into hiding.

Blake shrugged, eyes flashing gold in the dim light as she turned back to Yang. “Shoot.” 

“…do you like us? I mean, Weiss, Ruby, and I.”

“Yeah.” Blake responded with shocking speed, blinking at her as though confused. “Why wouldn’t I? I’m not… I’m not rude or mean to you, am I?” The confusion sunk into an anxious tone, her brow suddenly knitting together.

“No, no no.” Yang hurriedly shook her head. “Not at all. Honestly, I always kind of got the impression we annoy you more than anything else. Which I wouldn’t blame you for, we are pretty damn annoying.” She injected some humor into her voice, chuckling past the water she was taking a sip of. But her gaze stayed on the woman in front of her, watching for any flash of the soul that she seemed so careful to hide.

The alcohol’s influence was clear as Blake tilted her head, as though taking the answer into careful consideration. “…no. I don’t. It’s fun being in the condo with you guys. Gives me something else to think about; I barely have to read that much anymore.”

The last sentence was a loaded gun if Yang had ever heard one. What do you need to distract yourself from? But she had no intentions of delving any further into Blake’s mind - at least, not while she was tipsy and her thoughts were pouring out like sand through a sieve. Instead, she leaned back in her chair and smiled at her. “…I’m glad. I was kind of worried about you - I want you to have fun too, but I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“You don’t.” Blake replied far too quickly, the golden eyes locking onto Yang’s. “You never do. And that’s… that’s rare. Or… no, not rare, I guess but like…” She gestured, frustration pressing her lips into a tight line. “…you always ask. You ask me if I want to come with you to the store. You ask if you can come into my room. You ask if you can borrow something. Ruby and Weiss are respectful, they don’t intrude on me, but they don’t ask, they just assume that I’ll say no. They’re usually right, but you ask first. I… I kind of thought you’d stop asking. But you still do. I appreciate it.”

Now Yang knew she was too far in, that she was glimpsing information that she didn’t have the clearance for. But there was something desperate in Blake’s eyes now - like she was trying to reach out, make a connection. 

So Yang shifted her weight, placed her elbows on the table, and met the gaze searing into her. “Hey. I know you’re drunk right now, and you might be embarrassed about this in the morning. But, you’ll remember this, so I’m gonna say it right now - if you need to talk about things, come to me and talk, okay? It’ll stay between us. This will too.”

Blake blinked, slowly, her brows gathering very slightly. When her eyes opened, they were glassy. “…I might want to, once I’m sober. Just so you know.” Her voice trembled, as though it was a warning, as though she expected Yang to retract the offer. 

Instead, she nodded. “Anytime.” She almost made a joke about ‘maybe not at three in the morning’ - but the way the dim lights refracted inside the glassy irises made her swallow it. Blake could absolutely wake her up in the dead of night to talk. Any day of the week - or every day of the week. That would be fine.

A squeal from across the bar forced both women to look up. Ruby jumped up and down, a grin splitting across her face as Weiss triumphantly brandished the plastic rifle, a high score appearing above Ruby’s. 

When Yang glanced back at Blake, she expected the illusion to be broken, to find the usual stoic look settling over her fine features. But instead, the fond smile was back and blossoming into a quiet laugh. “So, the spoiled white girl knows how to shoot. Never would have guessed.”

Yang settled back into her chair, a chuckle of her own weaving into Blake’s in the musty air. “Must be the alcohol.”

[h3l10tr0p3]

BNHA MANGA 278 SPOILERS

Villains are coming. Chaos prevails. Any Hero on the frontlines is wondering right now- How the hell do I stop this?

And at first the option of putting everyone to sleep seems like a swell idea. Humane, even.

So Why is Sedating A Villain Illegal?

Isn't that exactly what Midnight does with her quirk? Maybe you can’t sedate people with things Other than quirks. But Yaoyaorozu is also using her quirk to make the sedating agent. So it didn’t make much sense to me at first.

• One possibility is that Heroes are not allowed to handle weapons other than the support gear required to reduce the kickback of their own quirk. Hero Commission looks over every costume upgrade and supervises this process very minutely so that the Heroes cannot have lethal weapons on their person. Even Snipe might not be allowed to use actual bullets, although he is allowed to use a gun- maybe he has to resort to rubber bullets. In this case Yaoyaorozu will be handing out these jars of incredibly strong anaesthetic agent to other Hero students whose quirk has nothing to do with sedation. In their hands, it becomes a potentially harmful weapon. For comparison think of cops using tear gas. Provided they are facing the enemy, it should probably be overlooked...(probably)

• The Concentration of Sedative Agent. In all probability every Hero has to conform to certain quirk regulations. Like Midnight her quirk, somnambulist, which uses inhalational sedative agent, can use it only under a certain concentration limit. Anaesthetic agents at high concentrations can cause death, if there were any by-stander around it could reach them and kill them easily. So it makes sense to limit how much of this potentially lethal gas she can produce.

• Gigantomachia is HUGE. Taller than Mt. Lady. And the body-weight of a person is directly proportional to the amount of anaesthetic agent needed to produce sedation. If Yaoyaorozu makes an inhalation agent (like Midnight’s quirk) strong enough to stop this guy, you can bet it will easily kill by-stander heroes/villains. One way to avoid spread is to put it via intravenous route (I dont think syringes are gonna work on that rock-hide) or throw them in his mouth (Midnight got smacked trying to reach his face, so I’m dubious about this one.) Inhalation route will be effective, and will save many heroes if Yaoyaorozu also provides facemasks. But you can say goodbye to the villains.

• Another reason why using it is illegal is related to the Villain Mustard, who was captured at the Summer Camp after the Vanguard kidnapped Bakugou. It seems laughably easy for people gifted with quirks like his to produce gases of chemical warfare and kill anyone around them. Just imagine your annoying next door neighbour oozing napalm, VX nerve gas or Agent Orange in a fit. This probably led to the prejudice against emitter types like Mustard and started them down the villain path.

So considering all these things, yeah, it makes sense to make this illegal. And kind of a no-brainer. But what are the implications of this?

Some of them maybe like so-

Yaoyaorozu might be forced to produced a lethal dose to just put down Gigantomachia unless she has an ingenious way to contain fall out.

All the students in the back-lines would be forced to commit involuntary manslaughter for the sake of self-defense. I do not say for it is ‘their duty as Heroes’ because killing people, civilian or Villain is against the law, whether they did it consciously or not. (I shiver to think of the horror and psychological trauma they would experience when they realize what they’ve done)

The only reasons why Endeavour got away from murdering a High End is because (1) Noumus are not legally seen as human beings (Tell Shirakumo that) and (2) Endeavour has a hell of a legal team, plus the HC backing him as the No.1 Hero. He cannot be accused of something illegal because the society is depending on him to be the Next No.1.

The children will not have such defense. If there is a public litigation against them (like imagine if Re-destro got captured and asked for a lawyer) for using excessive force and chemical agents, then the teachers will have to take responsibility for their actions because they are minors and cannot be tried for the decisions taken by the teacher (Midnight).

Therefore, Midnight isnt just sanctioning a very dangerous attack and throwing kids in the line but also taking the risk of potentially losing her job and Hero license (if not her life on the battlefield). She is doing it for the greater good, and she wants to stop the Villains from causing more life and property damage, no matter the cost. It takes guts and a lot of confidence in the kids to be able to do that. She trusts Yaoyaorozu That Much.

All things considered, even if Yaoyaorozu had decided to tuck tail and run, I wouldn’t think any less of her, because this is a Tall Fucking order for a goddamn teenager. But like the fucking Queen she is, she has a plan and is ready to kick ass. (Please let her pull this off flawlessly!!!)

Other far-off, possible implications (and some personal HCs) can be-

If this incident is taken to court and Midnight is found guilty:

No doubt the U.A. faculty would stand beside her decision and support her. This may lead to a public unrest. First off, the Lodge Attack was poorly executed despite having lots of time to prepare for the event. The Heroes will be under severe scrutiny for the unprecedented, and perhaps unnecessary loss of life for this mission. Secondly, a U.A. teacher apparently pushed Heroes-in-training in the line of fire. Why were the children there at all? Why bring them to a place where the supervisors couldn’t guarantee their safety?

The Hero Commission will be under fire, it might look for a scapegoat to escape their poor decisions- this is where they might shift the blame onto Midnight and the U.A. faculty for not professional misconduct. Thus forcing Nedzu to make changes in U.A., which I doubt he’ll budge on because U.A. has done nothing wrong. The friction between the HC and UA might therefore force HC’s hand and remove Nedzu, and bring about a complete makeover of the school system and administration (Shiketsu comes to mind in this scenario). Imagine an Umbridge now taking reigns of UA and making it more militaristic and oppressive.

Imagine if that was the objective of figureheads in the HC all along? What if the ‘Traitor’ isn’t with LoV but a simple information broker whose job is to simply expose the flaws and cracks in U.A.’s education system and turn public opinion against it, so that the HC could replace it’s current adminstration? What if this Traitor had access to all this information, knew who wanted it, and decided to let U.A. butt heads with LoV whilst advancing their own agenda?

What if the HC was the villain all along?

Just shower thoughts. (it got really out if hand in the end there...)

[artistrashofmine]

Here I go again with some smut, fun times.  Pairing: Yoarashi Inasa/Bakugou Katsuki Rating: Explicit W/C: 3890 AO3 Link: Have Your Way With Me “Hey, Bakugou!” The blond looked up from his isolated spot in the corner of the changing room. There was a reason he always came in here dead last, and remained in the corner far from the rest of the group, on the other side of the damn room. There was plenty of room in here too, after all, it was only the three of them changing. Him, Todoroki, and the new pain in the ass that was Shiketsu’s puppy, Wind-Bitch. Now, at least IcyHot knew how to mind his own business, knew when he wasn’t wanted, despite his oblivious personality. Besides, he was always quick to get changed anyway, meaning that there wasn’t much time for locker room banter or whatever the hell people were calling it. Then there was this guy. This guy, who didn’t seem to get the memo. To be fair, he didn’t go to U.A., he was just some extra who had failed the licensing exam and now the blond was stuck here with him. He had no reason to know of Katsuki’s preference to be alone, but it wasn’t that damn hard to figure out. By the first day, he should have known, yet the man was like an overgrown puppy; stupid, having to repeat his actions over and over and over again with no achievable goal in mind.

“What now?” The blond had said it in the most displeasing, unwelcoming way he could muster, throwing his costume top down onto the bench and replacing it with a tank top. “Well, I was wondering, what are you doing after this? Any plans?”Was this guy seriously attempting to hang out with him? How did Katsuki keep attracting these kinds of people? First Shitty-Hair, now this guy? He didn’t even remember the extra's name for fuck sake. “None of your business.” He shut down, hoping the other would leave it be. “You always wait for everyone to leave, do you go somewhere after training? He didn’t take the hint, and the whole reason the hothead let everyone else leave first was so he didn’t have to put up with them on the way out, or Todoroki on the way back.  Apparently that was coming back to bite him in the ass with the form of an annoying Shiketsu bitch, because why wouldn’t it? Instead of ignoring a few minutes of brain-numbing conversation, he had to put up with shitty, one-sided, conversation drawn out in the locker room as he waited for the other to give up and fuck off. Which was worse?

“I take your silence as confirmation that you have nowhere you need to be!” Did he now? Did he really? Jesus. “Fuck off.” Was the blond’s only response, his heavy boots, as well as his socks, being placed to the side just as his top had been, and he went to undo his belt. “Well, I was wondering,” what part of Katsuki’s words did he not understand, “if you wanted to grab a bite to eat together! What gave him the idea that the blond would want anything like that? What gave him the fucking gull to ask? If Katsuki was any less of, well, himself, he’d consider humouring the pitiful soul. But no, nothing was worth willingly hanging out with someone, well, almost nothing. See, sparing was fine, it was helpful for the most part, depending on the partner, but they just spent the last hour sparing. He usually went out for a light jog after class anyway, and he sure as hell didn’t need anyone joining him for it. “You’re joking, right? Fuck off.” He repeated his previous reply, turning only to startle, coming face to... chest with the overgrown puppy, and damn was he noticing the overgrown part. “It was worth a try, maybe another day?” He didn’t give up, seemingly unaware of the intrusion of personal space. “What the fuck was your name again?” He couldn’t help but ask, curiosity getting to him, despite his attempts not to fucking care. You see, there were very few things he’d willingly do with another person, he avoided the common room for that reason. Much of it was a waste of time and didn’t help him at all in the long run. Still, the blond had his own hobbies, most of them didn’t involve another person, but they could. With a face full of bare skin and his brain finally fucking catching up to the social cues he was apparently oblivious to up until now, Katsuki realized there just might be a use for having this guy hanging around. “Yoarashi Inasa!” He answered, unbothered to the blond’s ignorance, and outright admission to not bothering to remember his fucking name. “Right,” the blond lifted a hand to place on his chest, the dark eyes that looked down at him hardened like steel. <p>Why the hell did he only notice how much taller this guy was now? No, not just taller, bigger, he was like a fucking wall. And it fucking annoyed the blond to no end, yet he couldn’t help but let his mind wander... Katsuki bit his lip, his fingers parting, reaching across as much of the skin as he could manage. “I can’t read your mind Bakugou, but you look like you want something?” Damn, maybe he did.> See, there’s one hobby he likes to do in the privacy of his room, alone, with the help of some toys he kept clean in a box under his bed, and they weren’t small. He didn't like any of that small shit, the bigger the better. And the airhead was big. He wondered if everything was proportional. He hoped it was. He found himself hoping he’d be able to find out. Despite the other’s question, it looked like he knew exactly what was going through Katsuki’s mind; as if I’d want anything from you. He felt his way down the bare skin, muscles hard against his hand. It's not like he's done something like this before, and it was better if he didn't, but Katsuki thought he deserved to indulge for a bit. He wondered, what happened to trying to get this guy off his ass? Now he fucking wanted him there. “Your eyes speak otherwise.” The deep voice sent a chill down the pale blond’s spine. He let his hand fall from the body bringing his traitorous red eyes back up to the annoying face, clicking his tongue. He was about to take a step back when the taller one grabbed the falling hand. Katsuki thought his own hands were freakishly big, after all, that's where his quirk came from, they felt like leather and was always large compared to his other classmates, but Inasa's dominated his, fitting the fucking appendage in the palm of his hand. A foreign noise escaped the blond as he held it up to his mouth and kissed the knuckle, “sorry, I didn’t mean to imply that you had to stop.” What was with this guy? If Katsuki stopped it wasn't just because he'd think someone might want him to. A flush crept up his neck, another unusual experience, the blond hardly blushed, it wasn't that easy to get him embarrassed, but this guy was embarrassing as hell. He flattened Katsuk's hand against his chest just as the blond had it seconds ago, “you can touch me as much as you want.” <p>He was straightforward, Katsuki liked to think they were similar in that way, only he was so much more embarrassing. Still, it went straight to the blond';s cock. Once again, his hands were on the move, mapping out the other's body, a mind of their own, taking the other's invitation for what it was. Katsuki swallowed, having to correct his line of sight once again, only it turns out, looking the larger one in the eyes made things much worse. The dark, blown pupils and intense look had him blushing like a schoolgirl. Looking down at him with hunger, with intent, with knowing. Knowing that the blond was feeling the exact same way, knowing that Katsuki was all his for the time being. "How can someone be so small yet possess so much character?" he pondered, maybe they weren't on exactly the same wavelength. "The hell is that supposed to mean?" His voice came out more bothered than he intended. “It means I like you Bakugou!" And the large hands were on his hips, the calloused thumbs brushing at the pale skin just above his pants, under his shirt, "is it okay that I touch you?" Another choked noise, "don’t just touch me only to ask if you could or not! And I don’t care, do whatever the hell you want!” “Oh,” he sounded disappointed, "that's okay, I'll take that as a challenge to make you care then.”

The hands slide up the smooth skin causing the blond to let out a small gasp. They slowed to clench his middle, the top rising with them. They groped in there as if ready to lift him. For a second Katsuki hoped he would, but they only continued to feel his body, along his abdomen, the small of his back, moving up and around until they reached his pecs. Katsuki clenched his jaw, staring the other straight in the eyes with lidded ones of his own, daring him to make the bold move. The soft muscle was grasped, squeezed in the wind-users hands, and was treated like putty. The UA student’s jaw unclenched, falling open as the pair of hands went to work kneading the flesh. And a second later Katsuk's shirt was being pulled off his body, his clearly hardened nipples on display, only worsening as they were exposed to the cool air, perking up obscenely. The hand was back to fondling his breasts, this time flicking the hardened buds, rolling one between his fingers before doing the same to the other. It was as if Inasa were trying to squeeze milk out of them, they were swollen bigger than Katsuki's ever had them and sensitive as hell, the blond knew he had started making some noise already, small groans but still embarrassing as all hell. What was he supposed to do about it though? This felt so fucking good.

“I’m going to lift you, okay?" And yes, that's what he's been waiting for, the hands returning to his small waist, giving it another squeeze, Inasa's fingers practically meeting at the blond's navel.

“Yeah-” at the confirmation he was quickly lifted into the air, weighing seemingly nothing “fuck,”

Katsuk’s legs quickly found their place, wrapping around the other's tree trunk of a body. One of Inasa's hands came to hold him up by his ass, the other resting on the small of his back, guiding Katsuki to lean back into his grip.

His head then dipped down, coming to take one of the swollen tits into his mouth. Katsuki jerked as the wet cavern engulfed his pec causing his cock to grind against Inasa's pants. That didn't deter the other as he continued to lap at the abused nipples, allowing Katsuki to hump him like a dog would hump a leg. And Katsuki had no qualms about grinding against the other's navel, selfishly seeking his own pleasure, a hand coming to finish unlatching his belt, the accessory falling to the floor with a clash. Though the blond paid no mind to it, it could have fallen into a pool of lava for all the fucks he could give. His hands come up to dig into the broad shoulders as his partner's mouth rises to suck bruises into his neck, drawing a gasp out from the blond's lips. It was quickly silenced though as the other's mouth met his mark, fitting against Katsuki's own, hungrily forcing his lips open to push his tongue into the hothead’s wet cavern. The larger appendage quickly mapping out his mouth. And just like that, he parted. Lifting his head, Inasa voices his intention, "I'll make sure to have you begging Katsuki." Bakugou fucking moans at the suggestion. With a breathy voice, and the heated gaze he replies, "you fucking better.” Gone is the annoying puppy from early, seeing him now, Katsuki's previous descriptions didn’t compare. His eyes ravaged the blond, he wasn’t going to go soft, expecting the blond to keep himself up as any supporting hands were removed from his body, leaving the teen hanging to Inasa with legs tightly clamped around his center, arms holding on for his dear life. The other's own hands finding their way to the waistband of the blond's costume. He looked like a beast as he tore the garment off Katsuki's body as if it were nothing but a mere tissue.

The thing is, those pants were built to withstand danger, to stay in one piece, whether it be explosions, blades, fucking acid, they weren’t fucking easy to tear. Yet he did it in one go, muscles bulging as the fabric ripped, draping off the blond's body, revealing his tight boxers that were dampening by the second. It was fucking hot, it had Katsuki's cock harder than ever before, begging for some relief. “You have an amazing body Bakugou.” The brown eyes looked him over, every small detail, running his fingers up and down the revealed skin, pushing the boxers up to gain more and more. <p>His other hand sneaking back under the blond's ass to ravish the newly shown skin there. The large appendage holding the round of his butt, squeezing it as if he's been waiting to do so for weeks. Katsuki grunted at the action, shifting as if to find the most comfortable position he possibly could, whether that was away from the hands that felt him up or closer, he didn’t know. "Yeah I do, you better fucking appreciate- shit.” He didn’t get to finish his reply, Inasa dipping his body down to sit on the cold bench he was previously using, Katsuki's boxers were off his body before he could process it happening, the taller man pulling his legs out so that his bottom slid partially off the bench.

“Hold this for me?" The Shiketsu hat was placed upon Katsuki’s spiky hair, and Inasa was down on his knees, "I’ll make sure to appreciate you, Bakugou.”

"Gah- what the, hah, hell do you think you’re... hunnh.” The blond trailed off, throwing his head back as his hardened member was engulfed in the hot, wet mouth of his partner, the wind-user taking him down to the hilt as if it were nothing. "Oh fuck!' His tongue flattening against the underside of the blond's weeping cock as he sucked, moving his mouth up and down. Katsuki's own hand came to rest at the back of his head, the short hairs brushing against his skin. The muscles in his leg tensed as the other took his time, slowly mapping out Katsuki's most private parts with his tongue, filing them to memory. Breathy moans filling the empty space of the locker room, bouncing off the wall. Only, it was when the other removed his mouth from his erection, lowering it and spreading his legs farther, that Katsuki’s moans picked up, got louder. The brunet’s tongue lapped against the first year’s entrance, hands coming to part the globs of fat that shielded it, Teeth nipping at the tight ring of muscle, saliva making a mess of it, running down into his crack. <p>He glared at the other with heated, red eyes, mouth agape, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. A traitorous mewl escaping at the other’s tongue dipped into Katsuki’s entrance, both loosening and wetting his hole, stretching him open. It was a new feeling, a fucking amazing feeling that had Katsuki squirming, had his body quivering for more, relishing in the attention. This was much better than his fucking toys under the shitty dorm's bed. Having someone else please him. Having his hands free, free to roam the other’s body, his own body if he wanted. With that in mind, his hand came up to squeeze his pec, play with his own tits. Inasa didn't miss it, eyes gleaming as they focused on the blond's hands, thumbs brushing over his hardened nipples, before rolling them between his thumb and forefinger. Inasa began nipping at his hole again, hands squeezing his ass cheeks as he did, eyes hungrily gazing at Katsuki, who's own couldn't help but roll back, unrecognizable pleads and groans falling from his lips. “That's right Katsuki, all mine." The other purred. Ah, that's what he's been whining about? Was Katsuki so out of it he couldn't fucking recognize his own speech? Whatever it didn't matter, Inasa was taking care of him, he was Inasa's. “Fucking use me.” He confirmed with as much force as he could muster. The brunet’s tongue was gone in an instant, Katsuki's eyes snapping open, a disappointed groan leaving him. He was ready to complain when he felt the pads of the other's fingers at his opening instead. The blond's body betrayed him as it pushed closer, looking for more, recognizing the teasing of a finger that rubbed at the rim, urging him to relax. A substance left in its wake, lube? It felt different as his large finger sunk in, not like the lube Katsuki was used to. Or maybe it was the feeling of another man’s fingers that made this different. “I wasn’t expecting for this to happen, I made do with what I have,” he explained, holding up a bottle of aloe vera. "Why the hell-?” His answer came a second later, causing an embarrassed flush to materialize across his fair skin, “you’re an intense character with an equally as intense quirk! If I was risking getting burned, I wanted to be prepared. Beside, Todoroki also has a heat-related quirk.” “Don’t talk about damn half-and-half with a finger in my ass.” He deflected. "Should I add another then?” The blond moaned as the second digit was pushed in beside the first despite his lack of reply, "you stretch really well, Katsuki. I wonder how you'll look around my cock. " Goddamn, Katsuki liked the thought of that. Fuck, so did his dick with the way it pulsed, precum gathering below his navel. "I could put the third one in already,” he observed, scissoring the pair already in there, "your body's amazing! It's perfect." Katsuki shamelessly soaked in the praise, his hole twitching around the thick fingers that penetrated him. That seemed to push deeper and deeper into him, curling and stretching his walls. "Uhh!" Pressing against that spot that had the first year seeing stars, eyes rolling back and mouth dropping open, "yes- Inasa!" He grinds the digits into Katsuk's prostate before adding a third, the blond’s greedy hole easily sucking it all in, clinging to the digits as they'd retreat, his leg kicking out as they rammed into his prostate. He didn't need much more stretching from there, or so the other concluded as he pulled the fingers out, Katsuki's hole blinking at the loss, in an attempt to tighten back up. Inasa pecked the blond's lips a few more times before straightening up. Removing his remaining clothing, revealing his cock. The blond was far from disappointed. It was a fucking monster, hard with precum beading at the tip, balls hung heavy, swollen, at the base. Katsuki could't help but shudder at the thought of having that thing inside him, taking the member down to the base, rearranging his guts. Before he knew it, Inasa was rubbing the thing against his hole, the blunt head catching on his rim. The hothead practically thrust towards it, his smaller body begging to be used, to be plugged up good. </p> “Ready baby?" The lustful, brown eyes stared expectantly. Who was the blond to disappoint, "born ready, give it to me fucker!" And he did. He fucking did. The member sank into the blond’'s pliant body as if it were a fleshlight. Prompting the bigger one to ask, "have you done this before, Katsuki?” "Uhh- god no-" his voice hitched as the other went deeper, deeper then any toy Katsuki owned, “so fucking good." Inasa groaned in return,"I’m your first then? I'm going to ruin you for anyone else Kat.” The blond’s rim clenched around the cock inside him as if agreeing with the bigger one's words. And fuck, Inasa continued to enter Katsuki, so much of him, and the blond briefly wondered how the hell his body could take it all? He wondered if he could feel Inasa's cock if he were to press down on his middle if he could feel it through his skin. Katsuki felt so full, and god, it pressed against his prostate perfectly. “Are you ready? I’m going to start moving now, kay?" The blond nodded as best he could.

"Yes, yes- fucking fuck me already!" The blond demanded, throwing a ferocious grin back at the other. The brunet pulled out his cock, the head pulling on the rim, before grabbing ahold of Katsuki’s hips and pounding back into him, forcing the air out of the blond's lungs in a gasp as his length hit against the bundle of nerves. And Inasa didn't go easy, he gave it to Katsuki just how the first year liked; deep, hard, and fast. The blond’s mouth falling open, moans and drool making its escape. Leaving the locker room filled with the sinful sounds of flesh slapping against flesh and lustful whines. "Ah! Ah! Come on, come o- Ah, ah.” "Are you close, Kat?" The low voice whispered in his ear, nipping at the lobe, as he grinds deep into the hot-head. “Yeah- hell yeah," One of his hands set an explosion off against the bench he was clenching for his life, "shit!" He was so fucking sweaty. It was so fucking hot in here. His moans echoed through the room, was the door even locked? He didn't care, couldn't find a reason to. Not with the dick that positioned in and out of him, hitting the bundle of nerves each and every time. One of Inasa's hands reached up to grope his pec, squeezing it, "good, cum while being fucked on my cock Katsuki." <p>The other wrapped around his center, so fucking big compared to his small waist. He was so fucking big compared to the blond. Everything- so fucking good. "Ahhh, yes yes yes, INASA!" He came crying out the other's name, his body twitching, his hole spasming around the member inside him, his smaller cock pulsing cum across his stomach. His eyes rolled back as the other came to a stop, painting Katsuki's insides with his warm seed, coming deep in him. He pulled up, adjusting the blond and himself into a more comfortable position. Katsuki groaned as he clenched around nothing, his hole left gaping. And he swore he could already feel the cum slowly leaking out of him. “I-” his voice sounded like shit, likely from the yelling, "-I need a fucking shower.” "Me as well," He sounded winded - no pun intended -"...do you want help up?” The blond cursed his still shaky body, “just give me a damn minute.” Katsuki considered his next sentence, "... Dinner better be good, I want something spicy." "Right" Inasa grinned, "it’s a date.”

[writeyouin]

Reader human SO comes to Zim begging him to help them engineer and build a really elaborate and creepy Halloween costume of some weird and unsettling creature/monster.

Invader Zim X Reader - Cthulhu

A/N – I cannot name a better monster than Cthulhu, so please, enjoy this.

Warnings – None.

Rating – T

“Come on Zim, please,” You begged, hands clasped tightly in a ball.

Zim considered your plea, wondering why you weren’t dropping the matter. You had asked for a Halloween costume and he had repeatedly told you that he wasn’t going to waste precious hours of his plotting time making you anything to do with the pit-staining holiday. Usually, when he rejected your incessant human needs, you would shrug and go about your day, totally non-plussed, but this time you just kept talking.

“No,” He growled, finally getting irritated, which took him a while, considering he’d gotten used to how much of a pain GIR was compared to you.

“I will clean your lab for a month.”

“No.”

“I will make GIR stop pestering you for a while.”

“No.”

“I will find a way to shove Dib into a pig’s mouth until he’s digested.”

“Those creatures eat people? I KNEW IT!”

Your eyes lit up hopefully, “Is that a yes?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

Zim slapped his face, dragging his hand down it exasperatedly. “(Y/N), if I make a costume for you, then I have to make a costume for GIR and that will be far, far too much hassle. ON TOP OF THAT I DON’T WANT TO. When did it become a rule for me to entertain you or any of your other FESTERING BABOON KIND?”

“It became your duty when I found out what you are, didn’t tell anyone, and then you asked me to teach you about human courtship rituals,” You harrumphed, sick of being Zim’s plaything whenever he wanted, whilst receiving nothing in return.

Zim made a series of frustrated noises, pulling at his antenna to relieve the tension. He didn’t know what to do with you when you were like this.

GIR, having heard the majority of the argument from inside a random pile of haggis that had no rightful place in the lab, started laughing hysterically, “Somebody’s in trouble.”

“GIR, DO NOT MOCK ME! HELP ME GET RID OF (Y/N) SO I CAN WORK IN PEACE.”

“IMMA FIX YOU UP,” GIR replied, throwing a book at Zim’s head and ducking back down into his haggis pile.

Zim read the crayon on the front aloud, “The GIR guide to relationships.”

Sticking his lip out in consternation, Zim read on silently, skipping past the pictures of rainbows and flying moose to a page called What to Do When They’re Angry.

Apparently, he was supposed to ‘Smooth things over’ by asking you why this event was important. Although Zim pretended not to care about you, he did very much so, ever since he’d received his first ever compliment from you. Moreover, he loved showing off his human mate to Dib, who also had something of a crush on you; it annoyed the tiny-brained Dib more than anything whenever Zim got close to you.

“On my planet, we have only one holiday,” Zim stated in a superior manner. “The day of the ALMIGHTY TALLEST. That is a day of true importance, unlike this DISGUSTING candy nightmare day. WHAT IS ITS PURPOSE? WHAT SECRETS DOES IT HOLD?”

You knew that was Zim’s long-winded way of asking what the holiday meant to you and you looked to him pleadingly, “I don’t really know how to put it Zim, but imagine if I told you that you couldn’t celebrate your one holiday properly.”

“HERECY!” Zim screeched.

“Exactly. Halloween- Well, it’s a day to be scarier than the things that scare us, among other things.”

“Hmm,” Zim held his hand to his chin thoughtfully.

Stuck in his thoughts, Zim continued making the sound for no less than half an hour, by which time you had got bored and left with GIR to watch TV upstairs; it wasn’t worth interrupting Zim when he got like this, he would only have to start his thought process over again if you did. Finally, Zim had an idea of such evil proportions, the Tallest would have to be impressed.

“COMPUTER! Search the most evil, the most horrifying, the most abominable Earth nightmare you can. This Halloween will be the first of a new era, THE ZIM ERA! THE HUMANS SHALL RUE THE DAY-”

“Are you done?” The computer moaned boredly.

Zim held back a choked cry of outrage, if only to look at the research his computer had uncovered. When he read the new document, he grinned, the grin quickly turning into a maniacal laugh that echoed in the lab. Yes, you would have your costume, and it would be horrifying.

“What is it?” You asked dubiously, staring at the little orb that Zim had just proudly pressed into your hand.

“Your costume,” Zim stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“…It’s just a ball.”

“NO! This is a marvel of Irken technology. When you go outside, crush the ball in your fist and billions of my nanobots will form an exoskeleton around your body, creating THE BEST HALLOWEEN COSTUME IN THE WORLD!”

Your eyes lit up animatedly, “Really? That’s so cool.”

“Indeed, it is freezing on the scale of human appreciation. Now, what are you waiting for? Let’s go.”

Zim dragged you outside to the sidewalk, where he gave you an encouraging nod to crush the ball. You couldn’t wait to see what kind of costume he’d designed for you. The second you crushed the tiny orb, you felt the nanobots, cocooning you safely inside their costume. A helmet appeared first, letting you watch as your new armour was built around you. You watched as the bots interlinked, making you taller and broader. You could just see the tentacles that grew on your helmet, a slimy texture coating them.

A lady with two children further down the street started screaming, yet you could do nothing as you grew even taller, towering over the surrounding buildings.

“UH, ZIM!?” You cried out, the costume transforming your voice into a monstrous roar. “ZIM, WHAT’S HAPPENING?”

“YOU WANTED TO BE A MONSTER DID YOU NOT?” Zim cackled. “THEN BE A MONSTER!”

You had no control over your limbs as you started destroying the buildings around you. A timer appeared on a computer screen next to you. ‘Time remaining as Cthulhu, twelve hours and counting.’

“ZIM, WHEN I STOP DESTROYING THIS CITY, YOU AND I ARE GOING TO HAVE A SERIOUS TALK ABOUT CONSENT!” You bellowed, crushing your neighbours house with a desperate apology.

Zim only laughed harder, chasing after you to make sure Dib could not get in the way of his master plan; you were right, Halloween was a good holiday.

Like my work? Buy me a coffee and earn preview of the next fic, or commission me on the commissions page.

[oddsnendsfanfics]

Unraveling at the Seams Pt 4

Genre: Fan Fiction Pairing: Alex Høgh Andersen/OFC, Henry Cavill/OFC Warnings: Language, Sexual Innuendo, Possible NSFW Rating: M Length: Multi Disclaimer: a strict work of fiction, I own nothing except the original characters and the plot line. In no way am I affiliated to any of it.  

A/N: so far this is my favourite part. Also thank you all for the feedback, it is massively appreciated 

thank you @flowers-in-your-hayr​​ for the header :D

Catch Up Here

The iPad was on its side, the stand holding it in position as Nell moved around the kitchen. She had an hour before meeting Alex, which may or may not have been giving her second thoughts and butterflies. Not the good kind. Why had she agreed to this? Why was she feeling stressed about this? What she wanted more than anything was someone to hug her and tell her that this would be fun. A night out, with somebody other than Ivan. It was a new experience and if she didn't have fun, she never had to go again.

A call from mom always helped, right?

“Where's Ivan?” Evelyn asked, her daughter had called her in the middle of her work day. At first she had assumed something was dire, when the nerves seized, the Stewart Matriarch relaxed.

“He's next door, Jordan and Sophie are letting him hang out there tonight.” Bridie had a family party and Nell was hell bent that she was not missing it, because of her plans to have a drink with Alex. Ivan would welcome the change of pace, Jordan would surely engage Ivan's imagination with his skills as an actor.

The last time Ivan had gone there for a few hours, Nell had returned to find Jordan and Marco had built a full on fort in the middle of the living room, they'd had makeshift costumes, an imaginary dragon, and some sort of new language. Ivan had a way of charming people into doing whatever it was he wanted. A dangerous power for an almost eight year old to wield. These were the sort of fantasy games Henry would go along with, creating whatever world his son wanted to live in for the moment. Jordan had happily gone along with it, no questions asked and Nell would remain grateful.

“Have you told him that Henry is coming to  visit?”

“No, why? Wait?” Nell turned to face the iPad. “How?”

“Henry told me.” Evelyn answered in a painfully obvious manner. Nell wrinkled her nose, her stunned look told her mother all she needed to know. “We talk almost weekly, you know. Just because it's rocky with the two of you, he's still the father of my only grandson.”

Nell's older brother Michael had two children, daughters. Her older sister, Michael's twin, Sadie also had a daughter. Ivan being the only boy took the title proudly.

“I'm glad Henry finds the time.” Nell snorted. Evelyn rolled her eyes and shook her head, avoiding a lecture, Nell derailed her mother. “I'm glad that he's comfortable talking to you.”

“You still talk with his family, do you not?”

“I suppose.” Nell accepted. “What else did he have to say?”

“He's busy working, he's excited to take some time off for Ivan, he's looking forward to seeing your brother next weekend. He said you didn't sign up?”

“I don't have time to run this year. I'll send a donation.” Nell shouldn't have been annoyed that he brother was running a marathon with her ex, yet she was. Less annoyed that Michael was doing a charity run and more annoyed that she hadn't been asked.

“Your father and I have sent ours. Other than that, there isn't much going on. Something about a new job in Hamburg? Hungary? Somewhere with an H in Europe.”

Nell frowned, Henry hadn't mentioned anything to her about a new job. Not that he had to, it was his right to take whatever jobs he wanted. In the past he had told her the second he was allowed to talk about them. Aside from his agent, Nell had been the first person to know that he'd been cast for Man of Steel, The Man from U.N.C.L.E, even the film nobody had ever heard of called The Cold Light of Day.

Again, Henry had a right not to tell her every detail of his left. Nell wasn't always forth coming with every detail in hers. Outside of Ivan, they didn't have to ever speak, if they chose that route.

Lord knows that there were many things that Nell never told Henry. Her date with Alex for example. She had spoke with Henry last evening, yet hadn't said a word about going out. A pang of guilt rose. Henry always told her when he'd gone out with somebody new, his reason was that – if this woman should become something more, he wanted Nell prepared as the woman he shared a child with. Transparency was the key to keeping their life mess free. Plus, it was better she heard it from him and not some trashy newspaper.

“Whatever it is, I'm sure he'll do well.”

“I'm sure he will. Did you remember to send that parcel? Tomorrow is his birthday.” Evelyn could remember Henry's birthday, yet had forgotten her Husband's birthday for the last three years.

“Yes, mom, I sent it two weeks ago. Ivan will call him tomorrow, talk to him, and then we probably won't hear from him until he gets here.”

“Why are you always like that, Nelly? He's trying. You know that he's trying and it's not easy, being...”

“Mom.” Nell was firm. She didn't need to listen to her mother explain everything she did wrong, when it came to Henry Cavill. “It's not that, it's...you know what, mom. I'm not doing this. Not tonight. I called, because I just needed to talk.”

“Okay, so let's talk. How is work?”

“That's the thing, you see, there's the guy at work who...” Nell paused, her doorbell ringing. “Shit. Mom, I have to go. That's Alex.”

“Alex? Male or female, Alex?” Evelyn smirked.

“Male. I will talk to you later, love you bye.” Nell hurried to turn off the call.

She didn't want to look desperate rushing to the door out of breath, nor did she want Alex standing there waiting. Taking a few calming breaths, she straightened herself out and coolly approached the door.

On the other side, Alex stood shaking like a leaf. He was probably sweating through his button down as well. Great! He was going to show up looking like a hot mess, asking a woman who already barely tolerated him to be seen in public with him.

This was a mistake! Why had he listened to Sophie?

“Alex, hey.” Nell opened the door in the nick of time. Alex had briefly thought of turning around and running away. Why did this woman do this to him? He'd never been intimidated by a woman before. “Come in, please.”

Stepping inside the first thing Alex noticed was the smell. An odd thing to notice, perhaps? It wasn't an unpleasant smell. The opposite, actually. The townhouse had a – homely smell. Warm and welcoming, fresh and light. It reminded him of summer and gingersnap cookies. Funny, summer and cookies is what Nell reminded him of.

“I brought you this, I didn't know what else to bring, but I wanted to give you something and here.” He held out the framed photo. It was the best way to begin, scared of what he'd say if he didn't lead with the gift.  “It's one of the photos I took, early on. I remembered it was your first solo design and...”

“Alex.” Nell cooed, gently taking the framed photo of Judith, played by Jennie Jacques in the lavish dress. “I don't know what to say. Obviously, thank you. I'm speechless. This is amazing.” She leaned in giving him a fast peck on the cheek.

The photo had to be one of the sweetest gifts she'd ever received from a guy, on a first date, not that Nell thought of this as a date.

“That dress is one of my favourite costumes.” Alex blushed. “I was in awe every time I saw it. You did amazing.” It was Nell's turn to blush. “And this is for Ivan. I thought he may like it.” He passed over a book of 1,001 Brain Teasers for Ages 8+.

“He's going to love this. Thank you.” Nell accepted the book, still lost in the beauty of the photo. Alex was talented with a camera, Nell had saw some of his other works and they blew her away every time.

“No problem, I loved things like that when I was his age. He's so smart.”

“Too smart.” In more than one way. Intellect was one thing, being smart ass was another. The boy had mastered both swimmingly. Nell dreaded the day he turned into a teenager. “Would you like a drink?” She stood holding the photo and book.

“I thought we were going out for a drink, but we can have one here. If you want. I don't mind.” Alex felt like a helpless fool. Damn it. Why was he such a blundering idiot tonight?

Oh right, because he was in over his head with a positively impressive and attractive woman. He'd dated attractive women before, most ended up being superficial.  A disappointment to say the very least. Nell was not going to disappoint. If either of them were a disappointment, it was Alex.

Damn it. He needed to be more confident. Marco had warned him about this. Not to let his doubt in or this would be a disaster of epic proportions.

“You know what,” Nell took a final look at the photo before setting it on the kitchen table, it would be safe until she arrived home. “Let's go for that drink. Should I call a car?”

“Please.” Alex nodded.

“I am going to call and grab my purse, feel free to make yourself comfortable.” Nell smiled, before disappearing.

She was hardly gone long enough for Alex to make himself at home, so to speak,  he didn't mind. If he was alone too long, his thoughts would get the best of him and this not-a-date-date would be over before they left the house.

Leaving the townhouse, Alex caught sight of the two shadows in the window across the courtyard. Nudging Nell, they both waved, laughing when Jordan and Ivan ducked disappearing from sight. They were having too much fun spying and Nell would hear about it in the morning. No doubt Alex would be teased as well.

Safely in the black taxi, Alex was being the perfect gentleman. Holding doors, helping Nell in an out of the car. He was doing what his mother would expect of him, nothing more. Being polite was costing him nothing and he enjoyed seeing Nell smile each time he did something chivalrous.

“I hope you don't mind, but I thought we could go somewhere a little more low key?” Nell watched the outside pass, the taxi navigating the streets effortlessly.

“I don't mind low key at all.” Alex replied casually watching Nell watch the outside world.

“It's a nice place, I promise.”

The driver was cordial when Alex slipped him his payment, insisting that he get it, after all it was his idea to come out. The least he could do was pay for their cabs, secretly he planned to grab the tab too, despite Nell telling him he really didn't have to get the cab and she would get the drinks.

Helping Nell from the car, Alex stood aside happy to follow wherever she led. Strolling down the street, Nell nudged her chin forward to indicate that this was their destination. A quiet bar front, if there was such a thing, with a small sign on the front advertising their establishment.

“Here we are.” Nell announced, bumping into Alex when they both reached for the door. “Sorry.” Her voice was a whisper when his hand found her lower back. Guiding her through the door, Alex's gaze was telling her more than his words could have.

“Shocking, but I don't think I have ever been here.” Alex glanced around the front entrance of the bar. He'd been to nearly every bar in Dublin and the surrounding area, but never this particular one.

“I used to come here, a lot, when I lived here before.” Nell led the way to the back of the building. Alex took note, it was certainly nicer and quieter than the other bars he frequented. A large bar in the front, which seemed to serve the larger part and in the back, where Nell had immediately bee lined, was a smaller area complete with a smaller bar.

“Cozy.” He noted pulling out the high bar chair for Nell to sit.

“It's nice. I like it here.” She slid onto the stool with ease. Catching the bar tender's attention. “Lagavulin, neat please.” Nell ordered without thought.

Alex took a beat to decide. “Ardberg, on the rocks with a twist, please.”

Nell grinned.

“What?”

“Nothing. I like that you just went for it. I enjoy when a guy knows what he wants.” Nell shrugged lightly.

“Laugh it up, I know the whole adding ice and all that ruins the flavour blah blah blah.” Alex took the teasing with grace. “I can't do it neat, bad things happen if I do for it straight up.”

“Oh, no. I have witnessed far worse than asking for ice.” Nell looked as though she was processing some sort of horrid memory. Alex waited, she would either tell him or move on. The bar tender slid their drinks to them, giving Nell a few seconds to decide on her story.

“Ivan's father was given a bottle of Chivas Regal once for a birthday present, my brother got the idea to mix it with chocolate milk. I have never saw something so disrespectful.” Nell cringed. Alex involuntarily made a disgusted face. Who mixed chocolate milk with scotch? Further more, why disrespect a perfectly good bottle that way.

“Was it even good?”

“By itself, I swear there were angels singing, whenever you took a sip. With the milk, I don't know. I contemplated disowning them both on the spot.”

“Blasphemy.” Alex smirked, taking a sip of his drink.

“But that's enough about Henry and Michael. I will add, they're lucky I still speak to them both.” Nell sipped her drink. Licking her lips, she sighed happily. It had been a while since she'd gone out for a proper drink. Pouring herself a glass here and there, after a long day wasn't the same as sharing a drink with somebody in a pub or a bar.

“I would say so.” Alex held his glass, “I will say a cheers to you and your forgiving ways. May Henry and Michael know how blessed they are.”

“Here, here!” Nell raised her glass, gently tapping it to Alex's. “This is nice.”

“Lagavulin, is one of the best you can get I mean...”

“No, no. Not the Lagavulin,” Nell blushed, her eyes casting down. “I meant having somebody to talk to, to share a drink with. It's been forever since I have left my house after 8pm, to do something other than work. I'm going to risk sounding like one of those people, but I am usually in bed by now.”

“Me too.”

“Really? Wow, when I was your age, I was never home on a Friday night.” Nell winced. “Sorry, I didn't mean...Oh fuck that came out wrong.”

Alex laughed at her earnest. “I know what you meant.”

“Sometimes my mind and mouth don't engage. My mother says it's one of my biggest downfalls. I'm working on it.” Nell passed it off playfully.

“My mom says my downfall is that I am too stubborn and I don't know when to give up.” Alex revealed.

Nell tried to hide her chuckle. “A lesson, between us, moms know their sons better than anyone.”

“I'll remember that.” Alex's smile was full of mischief. “Any other secret mom tips that you're allowed to reveal?”

“Uh,” Nell tapped her chin, “Mom's really do have eyes in the back of their head. They're the hardest working people on this planet, and we have an excellent bullshit detector.”

“All useful.” Alex played into it. Leaning closer, his eyes dropped to watch her lips as she spoke. Licking his lips, he took less than a breath to snap back. Nell wasn't the type you hit on just because. “And what else can you tell me? This time about you, not as a mom.”

“Oh.” Nell shifted in her seat, adjusting her skirt, smoothing it over her calves. “I have two siblings, they're twins. I hate cake, as you know.” She smirked. Alex nodded. “And I have never dated somebody younger than me. Now you.”

“I have a sister. I play guitar, not well,  it's a budding hobby. And I only ever date older women.” Alex shrugged, swirling his scotch in the glass, taking a drink. Smooth. What a way to sound like a moron.

He'd really felt this was going somewhere, until two seconds ago.

“Alex, so you know, I don't really think that this is going to go beyond tonight.” Nell's gaze fell uncomfortably. “I like your company, as a friend.”

That was a fair answer. Alex was a tiny bit disappointed, not that he had a right to be. He was lucky that Nell had agreed to come at all.

“Can I ask you something? If you are uncomfortable, don't bother. You can also tell me to fuck off, but why did you agree to come out with me?” He pushed his hair behind his ears, his eyes locked on hers. “I'm happy you did, but I don't understand. Maybe I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth.”

“Alex, it's not that I don't like you.” Nell felt the weight of the world suddenly on her shoulders for making him feel this way. “I think you're lovely. You are very kind and a great person.”

“But?” Alex knew it was coming. This kind of statement always had a but.

“But, it's complicated. I love working with you, but I know what happens next, because I've been there. So, if I stay guarded, you eventually go away, and nobody gets hurt.” Nell waved to the bartender, ordering another drink. This time a double.

Ordering another drink, Alex mustered up the courage to ask his next question. It lingered on his mind, but he'd never had the balls to come out with it. “Is it because of your ex?”

Nell accepted her new drink, draining half the glass in one gulp, before nodding. “And it's a stupid excuse. I know that.”

“No, I've heard worse.” Alex thanked the bar tender for his fresh drink. “You loved him? It had to have hurt when that ended. I get it.”

“We were together for almost three years.” Nell took the time to explain her behaviour a little. Alex had been the brunt of her rash and unfair treatment, all because of something that had absolutely nothing to do with him.

“So, it was serious?” Beyond having a son with the guy, of course. He didn't have to say it, Nell had figured out how to read between those lines.

“Not in the way I saw a future, but in the way that I knew we were comfortable.”

“You worked together?”

“We did. I mean, in a way. Yes. I was an intern.” Nell tipped the glass up to her lips. “We met while he was on The Tudors.” Nell shrugged picking at her drink napkin. “It's partly why I have this job. They loved what I was capable of and hired me back, when Janet had to leave.”

“I'm glad they hired you.” Alex offered, tipping his drink. “I don't plan on having a kid with you, but I am glad they hired you.” He smirked trying to break the tension.

“Happily I will accept that.” Nell smiled. “I didn't want to think about being married  or having a kid at 22, but you know.”

Alex could relate, he couldn't imagine being married. Or having a kid. Not right now. His life was going great and there was no need to complicate things. Not that he assumed Nell found Ivan a complication or a regret.

“I think it's pretty brave of you to raise Ivan, the way you have been.”

“It wasn't all me. His dad helps a lot.” Nell bit her bottom lip, she wasn't entirely alone. “We lived together for the first year after Ivan was born. Henry adores Ivan, you know.” She wanted to make that clear.

“I didn't doubt he would. I'm sorry if this feels like me prying, but why did you split?”

What kind of man would leave someone as fantastic as Nell? How stupid was he? Alex had to know. If she became uncomfortable she would tell him, surely. No, Alex was confident that Nell would tell him to shut up if he was going too far. If he left here alone, covered in scotch, then he had deserved it.

“It was too much, having a baby and trying to bolster a career. You know how it is, appearing to the public in one way, while living another. It was too much, he was gone all the time and I was alone anyway, so I moved back home.”

Fleeing London to take refuge in St. John's had only lasted a year. Nell loved being close to her parents and sister, but needed something more. She'd been used to the lifestyle in London and soon found herself heading back. Before too long, she was back in Britain, living there until getting the call to move back to Dublin.  

“Oh.” The word formed on Alex's lips without breath.

“It's complicated.”

In other words, Nell was often left angry with herself, over the situation. Blaming Henry had become easier, along the way, it was a go to when she needed it.

“Most relationships are.” Alex scoffed. “But we get back on the horse and keep trying. Isn't that what we're taught?”

“It's hard finding a guy who wants to date a woman, who has a kid.” Nell shrugged. She hadn't had much luck dating in the last few years. There had been one or two guys who had stayed around for a month, maybe two, then it always ended once they found someone better. “It's harder finding someone to date, once they find out your son's father is Superman.”

And that is how she knew she'd had possibly gone too far. Here they were now, might as well keep going. Get it all out on the table. This was the part where Nell over shared and Alex never spoke to her beyond tonight.

“Every man thinks he's Superman, at some point.” Alex laughed lightly. Seeing Nell in a new light, he couldn't imagine somebody not wanting to know her or Ivan. She was an excellent mom.

“No,” Nell's brow creased. “He's literally Superman.”

“I don't follow.” Alex's brow creased in confusion. How drunk was she?

“His father,” Nell swallowed the last of her drink. “My ex is legit Superman. Clark Kent, Man of Steel. Kal-El?   Henry Cavill is my ex.”

The look on Alex's face as he tried to piece all of this together was becoming comical. This was generally the part where the date would ask some stupid, mundane question and then leave. Or he would attempt to try and impress her with a pointless show of masculinity. Alex was going to be neither of those. She could tell with the way his face contorted and his eyes softened.

“I had no idea.” Surely he wasn't the only one to not know this. The man's name was Henry, it was the only detail he'd ever had to go on. Nell had met him working, okay? There were thousands of Henrys in the world.

“You didn't know?” Nell began to chuckle. “Seriously? I thought everybody at work knew. Ivan's last name is Cavill.”

“There are more than one family of Cavills in the world.” Alex defended his ignorance. Until right now, he had never heard anybody use Ivan's last name and had always assumed it was Stewart. “Henry Cavill.”

Alex mulled it over for a second, having to say the name to somehow make it real. “Hmm. Well, at least he's not some sort of crazed inmate, who is hell bent on revenge on any man who talks to you.” He smirked, side eyeing Nell. “He not crazed and hell bent on revenge, is he?”

“No, probably not. You can ask him, when he's here in a few weeks.” Nell waved the bar tender over to pay. “Although, I think you will be safe. Start running, he's big, but slow.”

@funmadnessandbadassvikings​ , @kawennote09​, @smutgoblin​ , @nickysurfer28​ , @peaceisadirtyword​, @igetcarriedawaywithyou​ , @lif3snotouttogetyou​, @akamaiden​ @angelaiswriting​, @neeadinghugs​, @thoughtsmeander2tumblingblindly​, @ilvebeenabad​ , @naaladareia​, @imgoldielikehawn​ @tephi101​, @sdcyumyum​ @unacceptabletatertots​, @sparklemichele​ , @titty-teetee​ , @smolasianwinterbean​ , @capitanostella​ , @captstefanbrandt​ @bloodyivar​  , @normanallthewayforever​  , @blackcoffeeandgreenteaforme​ , @imyourliquor-youremypoison​ , @nikky-the-writer​  , @seremedyxiii​ , @laketaj24​ , @deleteidentity​ , @tornupandbored​ , @hoeghfabulous​ , @ateliefloresdaprimavera​  , @mydarlingwhim​ , @kenzieam​ , @jar-of-love​ ,  @angelswannawearmyredshooz​ , @manuugxlvis​  , @lost-in-my-thoughs​ , @ivars-snowflake​ , @lisinfleur​ , @fumblingthroughchaos​ @pebblesz892​ , @nelson-and-murdock​ , @nothingeverdies​, @bluearchersstuff​  @itsspecial-itsnotforeveryone​, @ivarlothbroks​, @badassbaker​  @cris101071​ @fucktrucks​ @ohjules​ @mrsadrianraines​  @angelic-kisses13​ @whenimaunicorn​ @marthasantos95​ @atlanticowe​ @hows-my-hair​ @omgshuddupmeg​ @moviegirl50​ @havenoffandoms​ @gearhead66​​ @happydaysandersen​​ @rekdreams-fandom​​ @lovemylife2618​​ @supernaturalvikingwhore​​ @heavenly1927​​ @zoe-rachel-crisp​​ @blogandreea11​​ @shileen91​​ @geekandbooknerd​​ @mzliterarydreamer​​ @youbloodymadgenius​​ @ainatirb-j​​ @carlya65​​ @sawendel​​ @sinflowersugar​ 

- if you want to be added? removed, please let me know

[altumvidetur]

Pacific Rim: Newmann Fic Recs

So, I was thinking about the coronavirus pandemic and what I could do to help people out. I’m isolated because I’m at higher risk, so I can’t really offer to go out for my elderly neighbors or my family… but I thought I could try to help keep people entertained.

Because I don’t have an AO3 account right now, I’ve been compiling fic recs for my own amusement for a year or so. And I thought – maybe that’s the time to share these with everyone? So everyone will have plenty of things to read while they have to stay at home, or even to escape anxiety a little bit if you’re forced to go out.

Of course, these cater to my own tastes, so you may find stuff you don’t like around here. I never include works in progress. The Mature and Explicit works will be in italic. I ask you to READ THE WORK’S TAGS before continuing, so you won’t find anything that makes you uncomfortable.

I haven’t managed to read the whole Newmann tag yet (started on page 183, am now on page 77). From what I’ve gathered, most of these recs are from before Pacific Rim Uprising. I watched that movie (although I wish I hadn’t), so feel free to discuss it. I hope you like them!

“The Things That Stay” ‘verse, by singagainsoon

a collection of non-linear moments, snapshots, tiny dots on an endless timeline

i would kill to make you feel, by singagainsoon

Hermann gets really red when he’s mad - his ears, his cheeks, his stupid fucking cute nose. Even his neck gets these big red spots on it. It’s funny. It’s really, seriously funny.

i’ll be a rockin’, rollin’ bitch for you, by singagainsoon

“Don’t be foolish, Newton. I can think of a hundred better things for you to do with that mouth-“

Entomologist AU, by singagainsoon

Two weeks ago, he’d been in the midst of furiously tapping out an absolutely incensed email to the man who somehow managed to consistently infuriate him from another department, even, and what Hermann would have given then to strangle him, truly - and then Dr. Geiszler himself had appeared in Hermann’s doorway, toeing the carpet with his scuffed up Doc Martens and asking if they might try to talk things out over dinner.

Hermann hadn’t known it was a date.

they did the mash!, by singagainsoon

obligatory newt-wears-a-sexy-halloween-costume-and-hermann-has-to-rail-him-because-he-can’t-help-himself ficlet!! tis the season!!

(video) call me at any time, by singagainsoon

When Newt finds himself away from Hermann for a business trip of sorts, they figure out fairly quickly that they won’t last until Newton comes home.

Good Vibrations, by singagainsoon

“Newton, are you quite certain about this?”

Newt smiles, gives the odd-shaped dildo in his hand a teasing wave and sets it aside in favor of the vibrator. His face seems to hint at something along the lines of Funny Thing To Say When You’ve Just Had A Dildo In Your Ass, but he doesn’t say it.

-

my lovely, talented friend and fellow writer gaby commissioned me to write this piece and let me tell you i had the time of my life (as did hermann, i’m sure)

A Certain Step Towards Falling In Love, by singagainsoon

“You’re terribly lucky, darling, that my father is away,” he says, voice low, smoothing his palm over Newton’s wind-tousled hair.

Eating In, by singagainsoon

It really was supposed to be just a massage.

you make me feel so young, by zach_stone

In the wake of saving the world, Hermann decided to appreciate the little things.

Or, Hermann and Newt go grocery shopping. And, because it’s Newt, shenanigans ensue.

seven minutes in heaven, by zach_stone

Hermann was enjoying a quiet, peaceful morning when Newton burst into the lab and shoved both of them into a closet.

in other words, i love you, by zach_stone

Newt is having a difficult day. Hermann has an idea to make it better.

hold me in this wild, wild world, by zach_stone

Hermann didn’t often allow himself to cry. Humanity was barreling towards the end of days, and he simply didn’t have time to fall to pieces, not when people needed him — needed his work. But four rangers had died. He decided he could allow himself one small moment of grief.

–

Or, some Hermann-centric hurt/comfort because I just want to give him a hug. Set pre-canon.

it might be over soon, by zach_stone

To celebrate a victory, Newt steals a bottle of booze and he and Hermann drink, argue, and maybe finally act on their feelings.

hey i just met you (and this is crazy), by zach_stone

Newt Geiszler accidentally texts the wrong number when trying to message his roommate Raleigh, and instead winds up texting Hermann Gottlieb, who he’s never met.

(AKA a college texting AU that I promise was absolutely necessary)

worthy of celebration, by zach_stone

It’s a well-known fact around the Shatterdome that Hermann does not like his birthday. This year, Newt’s determined to change that.

lab-appropriate decor, by zach_stone

“For god’s sake, Newton, that is wildly inappropriate,” Hermann snapped. “Those things are not cute, they are abominations. I don’t know why I’m surprised, once again you prove that you have no tact —” “Oh, give it a rest, Hermann,” Newton retorted, rolling his eyes. “It’s not an abomination, it’s two feet tall and made of plastic.”

Or, some backstory to the one of the kaiju figures in Hermann’s lab in Uprising.

The Geiszler & Gottlieb Post-Saving-the-World Lecture Tour, by zach_stone

Following Newt and Hermann as they tour universities, argue across podiums, and fall in love.

feel your heartlines, by zach_stone

Newt and Hermann cuddling on the couch at the end of a lazy summer day.

We Don’t Skip A Beat, by decadent_mousse

Summary by me: Newt, Hermann, and their heartbeat over the years. 

the lure of adventure, by zach_stone

Newt is a reckless treasure hunter. Hermann is an intrepid journalist. On their search for some long-lost treasure, they run into a little more trouble than they bargained for.

AU based loosely on the Uncharted video game series - no knowledge of the games needed to understand the fic!

wouldn’t it be nice, by zach_stone

Newt and Hermann spend a day at the beach.

take your time, make it slow, by zach_stone

Hermann was far from shy in bed, but was quick to brush off Newt’s insistent (and one hundred percent correct, Newt might add) claims that he was the sexiest person to walk the earth. Well, if Hermann wouldn’t believe his words, then maybe he’d believe his actions. And Newt was nothing if not a man of action.

–

Prompt fill for Newmann Porn Fest 2018: “Body Worship” !!

when you are close to me, i shiver, by zach_stone

When the heating goes out in the lab, Newt comes up with a great idea on how to stay warm.

–

Another fic for the Newmann Porn Fest 2018! Prompt was “huddling together for warmth” ;)

it suits you, by zach_stone

“Newton, for goodness’ sake, can we just — no.” Hermann frowned at the selections Newt held up in front of him. A pair of overalls and a red-and-black flannel shirt, both Newt’s. “I am not wearing dungarees.” “Okay, first of all, cute that you call them dungarees,” Newt said, grinning. “Second of all, you would look very cute in these, they’re seasonal, and I am not kidding when I say you’ll ruin your slacks if you wear them to a farm.” He wiggled the overalls in Hermann’s direction, the buckles on the braces jingling as he did so. Hermann let out a long-suffering sigh, mostly for show. He really did need to invest in a pair of jeans.

–

Fic for the Newmann SFW Fest! Prompts were “sharing clothes/personal items” and “pumpkin/apple picking”

ease my slumber, by zach_stone

Newt can’t sleep; luckily, Hermann’s got a really soothing voice.

–

Or, a conversation about how Hermann would have a good voice for ASMR turned into this.

pick up and start again, by zach_stone

“This,” Hermann says imperiously, glaring at Newt from the other side of the elevator, “is your fault.”

Newt whips around to face him so fast he almost loses his balance. “My fault?! How the hell is this my fault?!” He gestures wildly at the elevator door. “Oh, I’m so sorry, I forgot it was my personal responsibility to make sure this piece of shit elevator is maintained so I don’t get trapped in it with the most annoying person in the Shatterdome —”

“You’re always trapped with yourself though, aren’t you?” Hermann sneers, and Newt lets out a hysterical bark of laughter. This cannot be happening. Of all the times for the elevator to break down between floors, it has to happen now, when he and Hermann are in the midst of a fight that’s quickly blown itself out of proportion.

–

Newt and Hermann get stuck in an elevator, and are forced to work out some of their shit.

just your touch could cure my lonesome blood, by zach_stone

Four times all Newt needed was a hug from Hermann, and one time it was the other way around.

(Or, sentimental cuddling: the fic.)

Heart and Soul, by zach_stone

A quiet day in the lab is interrupted when Newt coerces Hermann into playing piano with him.

My contribution to The Last Line of Defense Zine (spring 2019)!

Lullaby & Rain, by j_gabrielle

It still blows his mind, still makes him stop in his frenetic need to move, speak and think whenever he remembers that Hermann…

Whatever Hermann is to him these days.

Carry Me To You, by j_gabrielle

For the prompt on the kink meme that asked for; Hermann/Newton. Lab sex

the world ablaze, that’s the best for me, by postcardmystery

Summary by me: Newt and Hermann are two unstoppable forces of nature.

Please, Sir, May I Have Another, by eigengrau

It isn’t until Newt is bent over the desk, papers and glass specimen jars strewn about like the debris of a hurricane, white-knuckling the hard stainless steel with his pants around his ankles, that he realizes the gravity of the situation.

Hide and Seek, by DoubleStashed

Summary by me: Hermann Gottlieb - life and love for Newt Geiszler.

pull the trigger without thinking, by liginamite

It’s manageable for the first few days. Shared emotions, shared thoughts, words spoken in unison. But it’s only when they share a nightmare born of memories that it finally occurs to them that maybe this isn’t going to go away.

Rechtsbrecher, by Ezlebe

“If you’ve lost your key again, you’re not getting another,” Hermann says, sidestepping past Newton’s hunched form on the steps.

Darling, by BeeLove

In which Newton rides Hermann for all he’s worth. Or at least tries to.

unravelling, by kiyala

It’s been a while since Newton’s taken his meds. Hermann begins to notice.

All of Your Flaws and All of My Flaws, by CinnamonCake

Hermann is still there tomorrow and the day after and Newton tries to not break his face with the door again.

and i fell fine, by ohgod

The other night I dreamt of knives, continental drift divide –

what history has given me, by kiyala

In which Newton is a girl and she really doesn’t have the time for your shit.

Solving For X, by griesly

No matter what opinion Doctor Gottlieb had proclaimed concerning his tattoos on numerous occasions, Newt knew the score. He’d glimpsed a heady rush of somewhat mortified appreciation, just an old memory surfacing in the Drift from the first time Newt rolled up his sleeves in the lab. He could still feel it like a taut string in Hermann’s mind, in the same way he knew his lab partner was too surly to ever admit it. It was all tangled up with his impression of the way Newt approached the world, a precisely calibrated instrument in one hand and a nail-bat in the other. Newt had to smile at the way Hermann saw him, a churlish adolescent and a half-mad genius all wrapped up in a hurricane.

…or, sometimes even the sharpest minds in the PPDC can be excused for a being a bit dense.

Towards, by orphan_account

Based vaguely off the Lemony Snicket quote: “When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them.”

Hermann finds Newt in the lab after the clock stops, and realizes that sometimes all you can do is wait.

Dear Diary,, by ohgod

That is way, way, WAY too close to my whole InuYasha phase. Do-over!

the night will go on, by ohgod

Mako is sheltered, Herc is old, Raleigh doesn’t want to know about any of this, and Tendo is a perpetual asshole.

I Get My Kicks Above the Waistline, Sunshine, by ambitiousbutrubbish

Summary by me: Newton’s exploration of his asexuality.

corpus callosum, by hieronyma

1 + 1 = 1.

when it’s broken, it’s perfect, by liginamite

Love is not divided up into neat little graphs and numbers and theorems, able to be charted if one only took the time and effort to do so. No, love is… it is unpredictable and volatile. Hermann doesn’t really do unpredictable and volatile, but with Newt he doesn’t have much of a say in the matter.

After the Rockets Calm, by callmejude

written for the kink meme prompt: “The morning after Newt and Hermann sleep together for the first time, Hermann comes over all ridiculously British and can’t cope with the intimacy and loss of inhibition. Newt is having none of that nonsense and tells him to quit fussing and come back to bed for snuggles.”

behind us, by kiyala

After the Breach is closed, Newt asks Hermann to go to Boston with him. Hermann doesn’t leave.

They Say It’s Your Birthday, by callmejude

for the kink meme prompt: These two have worked together for many years, and obviously have had to continue working through special occasions, including their birthdays. I know they strongly disliked each other, but deep down they are good friends and I’d love to see anything (slashy or friendshippy) showing how they acknowledge or celebrate birthdays. I’m betting Newt is secretly into baking and Hermann comes in one day on his birthday not expecting anyone to even know, only to find a Kaiju shaped cake on his desk with a sparkler or a candle stuck messily in the centre. Or or or Newt comes in on his 30th birthday and he’s like depressed and absurdly quiet for the day cause he’s not ready to be that old and Hermann realizes why he’s being all docile so he takes off at lunch only to return with pizza and stuff to cheer Newt up and celebrate his birthday. OR YOU KNOW ANYTHING YOU WANT.

within reason, by kiyala

Newt goes to the Skull Temple after the Breach is closed. Hermann goes with him.

pull you through the mirror (before you come undone), by griesly

The War is over. The war is over, and everyone else has something important to do and somewhere else to be except Newt.

shaken, by kiyala

Newton has nightmares. Sometimes, Hermann has them too. 

Imagine Sisyphus Happy, by Jenni_Snake

They’re colonists… we’ve practically terraformed it for them. -Dr. Newton Geiszler

“The thing we saw with the Europeans was that they wanted their new world enough: they didn’t care who stood in their way.” -Dr. Melanie Mountain Horse

“Do not rely not on the likelihood of the enemy’s not coming, but on our own readiness to receive them.” -Sun Tsu

“The gods had condemned Sisyphus to ceaselessly rolling a rock to the top of a mountain, whence the stone would fall back of its own weight. They had thought with some reason that there is no more dreadful punishment than futile and hopeless labor. … I leave Sisyphus at the foot of the mountain. One always finds one’s burden again. … One must imagine Sisyphus happy.” -Albert Camus

How The Light Gets In, by griesly

He’d told Hermann time and time again that he didn’t love the kaiju, he studied them with a curiosity born from a life-long fascination with the giants of the earth. Newt had always been the dinosaur kid – still was, if he was being honest with himself, and the kaiju were the biggest, most awe inspiring terrors he’d ever seen.

the body is not an apology, by BeeLove

In which Hermann triggers some of Newton’s insecurities and strives to make up for it.

When Two Substances Collide, by Emileesaurus and ripkord

Doctors Geiszler and Gottlieb — the first ones in and the last ones out. Thirteen scenes from the countdown to the end of the world.

Scar, by mlle

A tiny thing written for Jaegercon Bingo.

Not every tattoo makes a scar.

I’ve got nothing to say but it’s ok, by madness_and_smiles

Newt’s burned into Hermann’s brain now, like an itch he can’t scratch. Whenever they’re in the same room together – which Newt likes to make sure is almost always – there’s the low hum at the back of his mind telling him Newt is there and Newt is feeling and breathing and sometimes they feel and breathe in unison and it makes Hermann drop his chalk.

in which kaiju guts were not part of the wedding vows, by orphan_account

“You’ve got your glower face on,” Newt remarked above him, and Hermann opened his eyes just to scowl at Newt’s concerned face.

“I am a thread away from murdering my own science team, so, yes, I suppose a glower here and there would not go amiss.”

Seeing in Color, by what_alchemy

The Dr. Geiszler Hermann had found in the publications — printed pages worn with constant handling and tucked into his briefcase for easy access — was an eloquent scientist whose work functioned at a level far above almost anyone else Hermann had ever encountered in the field, and yet he neither patronized his readers nor expressed himself in the inexplicable jargon which so infected much academic work. He was singular in his intelligence. Hermann thought this was a man he could understand — and who could understand him in turn.

More fool he.

Kämpfen, by Huntsmonsters

“The point is that Hermann loves numbers like they were his children, except that Hermann hates children. He loves them and the way they go together the way Newt loves every sample that enters his collection, the way he loves tattoo needles and his books of scribbled anatomical drawings and the harried, barely legible, 4 in the morning notes scrawled around them when the first pieces of a freshly dead Kaiju come in. These are the tools with which they carve themselves, the knives and chisels and guides, the planes on which their shapes are made. Hermann is held up by his cane, but it isn’t the reason he’s standing. They’ve both gone through the rabbit hole and come out again with something clenched in their fists. ”

In which arguments are had over equations and entrails, vivisections are banned, and Newt uses ink to prepare for the possibility of death.

I Was the Match And You Were The Rock, by griesly

Written for the Jaegercon Bingo Square: ‘The Drift’

'Hermann is strong and solid and stable even if no one else at the PPDC would ever think so, Newt knows so, and come to think of it, he always has. He just never knew the man’s mind would be so goddamn beautiful, so bright and full of purpose and satisfaction at a job well done that somehow, impossibly, included him.’

Lucky Number Seven, by griesly

'Newton?’ Hermann called out, only to hear an answering 'Shhh!’ issue from behind a moving curtain. He appeared to have cordoned off an area in the back corner of the lab with heavy screens, labeled 'Light-Sensitive Specimens – DO NOT TOUCH.’ Newton poked his head around the corner with a slightly manic grin.

'Lock the door,’ he advised before motioning Hermann enthusiastically over to a break in a thick curtain. Hermann frowned and paced across the room, wondering what could possibly be so important and so secretive that Newton would have to obfuscate its very existence.

Whatever it was, Hermann was certain he wasn’t going to like it.

autoclave, by cynicalRaconteur

Or: How the fuck is she so attractive, she dresses like my grandfather, I want to punch myself in the face: the Newt Geiszler story.

nyctophobia (into the light of the dark black night), by orphan_account

“See, the thing about birthdays is they’re totally an annual thing,” Newt explained, handing Hermann his latte. “And I’ve known you for, what, twelve years? Thirteen?”

“Fifteen,” Hermann interjected tersely. “And a half.”

Do you have Prince Albert in a can?, by mwestbelle

Newt has a Prince Albert piercing. That’s about it.

This Most Beautiful System, by rosepetalfall

Like Watson and Crick, Newton Geiszler and Hedda Gottlieb are two scientific names almost invariably thought of together.

-

Hedda Gottlieb and Newton Geiszler grow up, save the world, conquer academia, defy the odds, do some ill-advised things, do some brilliant things, and learn about love. Not necessarily in that order.

In the Midst of the Blackest Storm, by TrufflesTheMushroom

Tomorrow. Tomorrow, at the precipice of our hope, at the new beginning of our time, we can choose not only to believe in ourselves, but in each other. Tomorrow, there will not be a single person on our shores who shall stand alone. Not tomorrow. Tomorrow we will face the monsters that are at our door and take the fight to them. Tomorrow, we are facing the apocalypse. As one.

Or: Tendo Choi used to coerce every Jaeger Strike Team in the Hong Kong Shatterdome into boosting its dwindling funds with shady black market deals, and this is how he gets everyone to slowly become a family once more as the world faces the re-opening of the Breach and humanity’s darkest hour.

Or: How To Trust When All Seems Hopeless

i forget the difference between seduction and arson, by gyzym

Ignition and cognition.

animals trapped (the cage is full), by liginamite

Because that’s the problem, isn’t it? The world doesn’t have time for affection, for intimacy, for anything more than quickly coming and cleaning off and heading back to work like nothing ever happened.

The Mathematician’s Answer, by ConstanceComment

“Prosper our handiwork; O prosper the work of our hands.” — Psalm 90

People Might Laugh at Your Tattoos, by callmejude

It’s armor.

Conversations You Don’t Know We’re Having, by adventuring

The spleen was doing something very uncooperative now, turning colors no alien spleen was meant to turn, and oh god, was something bubbling? That could not be good. “No, baby, no, I can fix this, I can do better, just give me one more chance,” he begged it, ignoring Hermann’s baffled, “Pardon?” in his ear. He grabbed frantically at the tongs, fumbling them, realized he probably couldn’t fix this situation one-handed, and said to Hermann, “Gotta go, important work to be done.”

“Newton, I swear to you, do not hang up this phone, follow my instructions—”

“No time, man, science is happening,” he said, and then without thought tacked on, “Bye, love you,” and threw the phone in what was likely the direction of his desk, not bothering to end the call. Hermann probably kept talking, but hello, science.

California King, by notastranger

Hermann is not a sleep cuddler. Bummer.

that every man might have need of other, by lymricks

In the few hours it took to reconcile Newton’s gone with Newton left, Hermann had created an elaborate fantasy: Newton kidnapped, Newton taken, Newton needing to be saved. He had not considered that leaving had been Newton’s idea. He had not thought it would be voluntary.

You Lost, Doctor?, by hailtherandom

“The next morning, Hermine goes to work with a clear head. It sticks for all of about thirteen minutes, until Newt walks into the offices in a pair of jeans and an old, threadbare undershirt instead of her usual button-down, and numbers flicker out of Hermine’s mind like lights in a Jaeger. Newt glances up and shoots her a filthy grin, then drops her coat on her desk and pulls out a pair of gloves. Hermine loses whole equations to the kaiju rippling over the muscles in Newt’s forearms.”

Private in Public, by spirogyra

Dr. Newton Geiszler and Dr. Hermann Gottlieb get introduced to life in a shatterdome, and somehow survive showering together for ten years even when they’re on separate continents.

Nightmares, by beckettemory

“Hermann frowned, remembering the bags under Newton’s eyes and the constant bubbling of the coffee maker in the corner brewing pot after pot of strong coffee all day.” ——————- Hermann, sore after a long day, passes the laboratory and realises that, though well into the night, Newton is still working, and has been acting strangely for a few days.

Lights On, by berlynn_wohl

Hermann’s solitude and shame was an immovable object inside him. He had yet to find out that it would soon encounter an unstoppable force.

Not While I’m Around, by callmejude

written for the kinkmeme prompt: In all the years they’ve worked with each other, Hermann can’t remember ever seeing Newt angry - upset and frustrated, maybe, but never angry. Sure, they argue and raise their voices at each other all the time, but that’s just lively intellectual discourse - they’re never really mad at each other. Hermann has always just kind of assumed that Newton is so easy going that nothing can set him off.

And then someone messes with Hermann, and Newton absolutely explodes with rage.

Come Away To The Water, by funnylookingfella

The Kaiju War is over, there are no Jaegers left, the mourning period has passed… but the hive mind lingers.

A Little Friendly Challenge, by moonblossom

Newt knows how to get Hermann to cooperate.

I wear your granddad’s clothes, I look incredible., by notastranger

Newton comes up with what he thinks is a hilarious Halloween costume. Things do not go as planned.

venus in fleurs, by indications

6.7k of boring-ass white boys touchin dicks

so it goes, by liginamite

The world needs Newton Geiszler, and with that thought in mind, it’s Hermann that drifts with the Kaiju instead.

sugar, spice, and graduate programs, by classyfanperson

Newt works at a coffee shop. Hermann is studying abroad at MIT. Pumpkin lattes are good for the soul.

Good Day for Ghosts, by cryogenia

Hermann wakes into the new world, and carries the remains of the old with him.

Equality, by pickleplum

“‘Immediate family only’ is our policy and no amount of yelling at me will change it, Doctor Geiszler. Unless you are Doctor Gottlieb are long-lost brothers, you need to calm down and wait in the reception area or we’ll have to ask you to leave.”

Newt makes a very loud exasperated noise and throws his hands in the air, but turns and marches into the waiting room. He drops himself onto a couch and pulls at his hair in frustration. I’m going to behave, he tells himself firmly. I’m not going to freak out over this total bullshit and get myself tossed out of here. No way. I can do this.

no man is an island, by narcomanic

Running away from the hive mind is easier said than done, especially when you’ve been so clever all your life that you never had to learn how to ask for help.

Time Will Crawl and Our Mouths Run Dry, by hailtherandom

It was Hermann’s idea, oddly enough. Sometimes Newt never quite believes that, thinks he made it up in a dream or a drunken haze, because Hermann, Dr. Hermann Gottlieb, does not suggest things like that. But he did, and Newt laughed in his face, and then blinked a few times and said, “what, really?” “Yes, really,” Hermann said. “It’s logical, Newton, if you take a moment to think about it.” — Hermann and Newt. Mutual handjobs at twenty-one hundred hours every Wednesday and Friday. Slight complications develop.

After Zero, by what_alchemy

The war is over. Hermann and Newt get on with their [sex] lives.

More Than I Can Return, by callmejude

written for the kinkmeme prompt: “Newt likes to flirt with Hermann, the fact that he never flirts back does not discourage him at all. An outsider might think that Newt is foolishly in love with someone who doesn’t care about him back at all. But one day in the lab out of nowhere, Hermann says, "Alright, what if I just bring you off with my hand? Will that make you more bearable?”

Newt’s thrilled and doesn’t miss a beat. “God, Hermann, a handy would be awesome right now! Thanks, man!”, all while he’s unzipping his fly and grabbing the surgical lube for improper use.

From then on they start hooking up whenever it pleases both of them. Sometimes handjobs, sometimes frottage, occasionally one will penetrate the other. But most importantly, Newt never stops calling Hermann “man” or “dude” during the act, and keeps talking as if Hermann was just doing him a mundane favour, or he was doing a favour for Hermann.

It isn’t until they sit on the sofa in Hermann’s room one night, cuddling up and making out after a taxing workday, with no signs of anyone unclothing or unzipping, that Newt thinks maybe affection has something to do with it.“

Jackpot, by notastranger

People say some strange things when coming out of anesthesia.

Cleaning Days, by jotc

All Hermann Gottlieb wanted was a clean lab space of his own.

Feels Like Reckless Driving, by lakehymn

“Did you just say I’m right about something?” Newton asks, feigning shock. Then he lightheartedly elbows Hermann in the ribs and adds, “I always knew you loved me.”

everyone needs a place (it shouldn’t be inside someone else), by orphan_account

His brain goes a gazillion miles an hour in loopy misdirectional circles, and when he dreams he dreams of kaiju biology, of being back in their lab, of sharp elbows in a small bed.

Chatter, by berlynn_wohl

“What do you think? Is today going to be a good day?”

Unhappy Campers (or Why You Can’t Perform CPR on Someone Who’s Still Breathing), by Jenni_Snake

A summer science camp field trip to the mountains. What could be more fun? Probably anything, especially for a group of nerdy science kids.

Hermann Gottlieb’s Stacker Pentecost Obsession Trapper Keeper, by what_alchemy

Hermann has a giant man crush on Stacker.

Newt finds it delightful. Herc, not so much.

what’s your rush, by Byacolate

Summary by me: An elaboration of Hermann and Newt’s relationship before and after the closing of the Breach.

Baby, You’re Hotter than my Bunsen Burner, by SkysongMA

They argue like they breathe—but that’s not all there is to it. Newt flirts, and it’s disgusting.

It’s not that Hermann minds flirting. The Kaidonovskies have propositioned everyone in the PPDC, or so it seems, and Tendo has intimated more than once that he wouldn’t mind spending some time in the lab, “talking numbers.” The Shatterdome is a small place. One has to practice somewhere.

It’s just that Newt is so bad at it.

Becoming History, by Scientia_Fantasia

Sure, the phrase “crotchety old man who obviously pays no attention to the current scientific community” may have snuck its way into one of the letters, but hey, that’s what you get for calling Up-And-Coming Scientific Rockstar Newton Geiszler “some kid.” Like, the guy had it coming. Really.

It Is not Heaven, It Is Home, by bravinto

Finding the love of your life is awfully anticlimactic.

Fleece, by berlynn_wohl

Newt and Hermann enjoy a day of terminally fluffy domesticity, with maybe a few minutes set aside for shenanigans on the sofa. Also, monsters (duh).

For What It’s Worth, I’d Do It Again, by callmejude

Between finding Newton seizing on the floor and running to get Pentecost, Hermann needs to make sure Newton is okay.

The Stretch and Pull of Disused Hearts, by billiethepoet

Newt notices that the move to the Anchorage Shatterdome is affecting Hermann’s leg. So Newt builds him a hot yoga studio out of spare parts and an abandoned storage closet. Obviously.

Best Cock On The Block, by hobbitdragon

They’ve been so close and yet so far for fourteen years now, but the drift is the pebble that starts the avalanche of change. (By which we mean sex)

This started out as a short ficlet and quickly grew beyond ficlet status into a full-blown fic. I guess I really wanted to write more trans smut.

The Seconds In Between, by orphan_account

Sort of a day in the life of Hermann (and Newt, always with Newt). Mostly, I had a lot of tiny little headcanons and then tried to spin them all together in a fic.

hallo mutti, hallo vati, by classyfanperson

Newt and Hermann visit the Gottlieb family after the Breach is closed. Some are happier to see them than others.

The Cost of Craving Dark Instead of Light, by sonnie

Summary by me: Monica Schwartz and her son, Newton. 

The Two Weirdos Who Work In The Lab, by berlynn_wohl

Two vignettes about the worst kept secret in the Shatterdome.

he’s thunderstorms, by mundaneanarchy

Wherein Newt maybe possibly has a teeny tiny itsy bitsy almost microscopic crush on a certain grumpy old mathematician and Hermann falls and can’t get up. Angsty pining ensues. (explicit for chapter 2)

Never Done with Killing Time, by orphan_account

In between one day and the next, there’s always some time for some loving.

Quantum Degeneracy, by trell

Newt makes a sound from where he’s hidden behind his kaiju, behind his arms, and then he croaks, "I can’t play anymore.”

Hermann’s eyes flick to the electric keyboard sitting near Newt’s desk—a paper-covered, disorganized disaster of a thing—and he says, quietly, “Ah.”

the best laid plans, by liginamite

The plan, you see, was to totally sex Hermann up immediately after the world was saved. But you know that old saying about well-laid plans.

Generated Affects, by trell

Twelve is you washing your hands ten times up to the elbow in the space of the half an hour you spend prepping kaiju entrails for long-term cryo. It’s him that stops you, him that struggles over to the sink on his cane and grabs you by the wrists, hands fitting perfectly over the open maws of Hundun and Yamarashi, and he says “Stop,” and “Newton, think, this isn’t like you, it is like—” and the me hangs unspoken but you get it, let him guide you over to a bench in the lab and force you to sit still long enough to tone down the compulsion.

five times newt proposed to hermann and the one time he said yes, by mundaneanarchy

title is self explanatory.

alternate title: the fear of falling apart

warning: cheesy and kinda dumb

macho dudes in lace undies, by mundaneanarchy

Summary by me: Newt, Hermann and a lingerie kink.

one last kiss while we’re far too young to die, by mundaneanarchy

Newt and Hermann meet, fall in love, hate each other, lose each other, find each other, kiss drunkenly, save/destroy the world, and get married. All in that order.

it is one way to live, by fuckener

Newt would stay stuck in the wartime if nobody tried pulling him out of it.

Black Velvet Rabbits rockstar AU, by spirogyra

Summary by me: In which Hermann is the number one fan of Newt’s rock band, The Black Velvet Rabbits.

Sea Swept, by cypress_tree

A high seas fantasy AU in which Hermann is a ship’s navigator and Newton is found washed up among flotsam.

there are no atheists in foxholes, by liginamite

Newt and Hermann have been feeling off since they helped to cancel the apocalypse. They’re losing time, long black-outs, periods of aggression. The feeling that there’s something else, something they can’t pin down.

The thing is, the Kaiju drift left something behind in the both of them, and it’s determined to get out.

Can’t Wait for You to Shut Me Up, by callmejude

written for the kink meme prompt: “Hermann tells Newt to shut up, Newt tells Hermann to make him. They make out. That’s the prompt.”

(That may have been the prompt but I admit to it going much further than that.)

Dead Letter Chorus, by QuokkaFoxtrot

It’s if you’ve never heard anything true. But we will try 'til the next time or the last time. Dead Letter Chorus - You Am I

Newt owns a coffee shop. Hermann is a tenured professor at the local university. Their relationship has its ups and downs.

Also: Chuck is a champion barista, Mako is a world travelling Direct Trade negotiator, Stacker and Herc play a lot of chess, and Tendo owns Shatterdome Records.

Much coffee is consumed. (Except by Hermann who is a priss about how his tea should be prepared.)

bones, sinking like stones, by mundaneanarchy

You don’t love him. You don’t love him even though you do, you know you do, you know you do so much it hurts, but you don’t.

have yourself a merry little christmas, by classyfanperson

Hermann isn’t going home for Hanukkah, so Newt insists they both visit his family back home. They continue to not talk about their feelings.

Or: A Very Geiszler Christmas.

Newton Geiszler’s 11 Ways to Save the World, by kaijukonjou

Keep to yourself, keep your chin up, and maybe you’ll make it out in one piece.

Five Times Newt And Hermann Kiss While They Are Drunk, by luceluceluceluce

A brief timeline of the apocalypse from the perspective of a pair of nerds: a story of science, alcohol, and love.

Become What We’ve Always Been, by irisbleufic

Hermann doesn’t have enough time to experience a crisis over Newton’s response to his unvoiced request; he’s drifting into that self-same lethargy, eyelids heavy, his arm across the cane gone slack.

it wouldn’t be make believe, by infinituity

“By the way, dude,” he says, and he reaches down both to grab his notepad as well as to avoid looking at Hermann, “my parents think we’re dating.”

Instead of the expected angry yelling, he gets only silence in response, so he looks up to see Hermann opening his mouth to speak, reconsidering, closing it, and repeating. After several more repeats than strictly necessary, he sighs and slumps down in his seat.

“Of course they do,” he says.

sweet as anything, by classyfanperson

Newt is embarrassed about certain aspects of her body. Hermine is considerably more enthusiastic.

The Statistics of Touch, by WheresPeebs

Alternate Title: If You Would Just Stop Interrupting Each Other, Everything Would Be Worked Out in the First Friggin’ Paragraph.

Hermann is uncomfortable with public displays of… well, anything. It causes problems.

First, by cypress_tree

Newt and Hermann’s first time is Newt’s first first time.

Roses are red, and if that’s kaiju blue so help me Newton, by unnecessary

Summary by me: Newton and Hermann have some communication problems. 

point me in the direction of the last setting sun, by orphan_account

They were two women standing against the end of the world.

Urine Trouble, by kinkitsecretkinkitsafe

Hermann has a thing for watersports. Newt finds out.

breathing free and even, by classyfanperson

He’s working on it. They’re working on it.

High-Five for Hatesex, by kinkitsecretkinkitsafe

Summary by me: Newton has a thing for Hermann and justifies it as hate!sex. He might be wrong.

Counterpoint, by kinkitsecretkinkitsafe

Summary by me: Sequel to High-Five for Hatesex.

a thousand spiders down the drain, by Byacolate

Children can be so cruel to boys who pick flowers.

Secret Agent Scientist, by Malteaser

Written for the prompt: Hermann, secret badass; He has something cool like a fencing saber installed in his cane and when someone fucks with them he kicks their ass and keeps talking like nothing happened.

A Little Kindness Goes a Long Way, by patster223

Newt liked to purposefully annoy Hermann in order to get rough sex. Which worked out great, until Hermann found out about it and decided to punish Newt by giving him excruciatingly nice sex.

cross my heart and take me with you, by drashian

The first time Hermann meets Newton Geiszler, they are pleasant with each other for about 10 minutes until suddenly they’re duking it out about Hermann’s theories of transdimensional transport.

The second time Hermann meets Newton Geiszler, they just start yelling.

The third time Hermann meets Newton Geiszler, it is in the toxic blue haze of the Drift.

Anthology ���Verse (& Related Errata), by irisbleufic

Summary by me: a study of the relationship between Hermann and Newt, from the beginning to the future.

Parallax / Perihelion, by irisbleufic 

Parallax—the apparent displacement of an observed object due to a change in the position of the observer; from the Greek, παράλλαξις (“alteration”). / Perihelion—the point in the orbit of an asteroid, comet, planet, or other celestial body where it is nearest to the sun (again from the Greek, περιήλιο).

One-Week Rule, by irisbleufic

Somebody’s got a stick up his theoretical vortex. Starting this off with a bang?

We’re Revolutionaries Now, by AxolotlQueen

One really shouldn’t attempt to cut one’s own hair.

(Or, Hermione Gottlieb gives herself a bad haircut and Newton Geiszler helps out.)

Newton Geiszler and His Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Interns, by cambion and casdere

“I know, it’s all a bit silly,” he admits.

“You always get a bit silly about your crushes, yeah?” She teases easily, and Hermann nearly spits out his mouthful of soup. Jasmine gives him another concerned look, but he waves her away.

“Vanessa, can you please not,” he hisses under his breath, and she laughs with the phone pulled away from her face, sounding like distant bells, and he feels taken back to high school, and remembers the fumbling idiocy of his crush on her, and knows immediately she is right, and he ought to give up the fight. He has a crush, an honest to God crush, and at his age! He knows, surely, it started with his fascination of the man’s intellect, but he also knows how quickly and easily he was drawn into his off-kilter charisma, as well.

or: hermann and newt are college professors, newt is working on his sixth doctorate, hermann is nursing a nasty crush, and i fit way too much into one chapter

scene after scene, by drashian

Everything had been banking on the world ending.

It doesn’t end, though, and that leaves everyone with this big hole where the future they didn’t plan for suddenly stretches ahead of them.

Newt struggles and reaches to fill that hole, and comes up with two things: Hermann Gottlieb and a cross-country road trip.

Chalk It Up To Love, by patster223

Newt replaced all of Hermann’s white pieces of chalk with pink ones. Or: the one in which chalk is a form of courtship, Hermann is head-over-heels, and somehow the entire Shatterdome gets involved.

The Apple In Our Hands, by irisbleufic

Summary: 1950!AU in which Newt is a cryptozoologist trying to find the Loch Ness monster, Hermann is more or less the same, and they have to share a cabin in Scotland.

Ice to Meet You, by patster223

Hermann is eating a rather phallic-looking popsicle and Newt is pretty sure he might actually die from sexual frustration.

In Sweden, and Elsewhere, by rillrill

Newt had just thrown down his end of the half-assembled bookshelf and shouted, “Whatever! It still makes no sense that two acclaimed and accomplished scientists with the combined brainpower of four average adults can’t put together a goddamn shelf!” Because, seriously, he can build an improvised neural bridge out of old lab machinery and an ancient Mr. Coffee, but he’s undone by three missing pegs? Fuck this.

Newt and Hermann rebuild, relocate, accept the Nobel Prize for Physics, fight over furniture, and strive to carve out a space for themselves in a world where they’re inextricably linked - in the the press, in their personal lives, and in their own heads.

Magic and Progress, by patster223

The Hogwarts AU in which Newt is a wizard, Hermann is a Muggle, and somehow they manage to save the world and love each other anyway.

Self-Destruct, by pinkmoon

“He learns how to never be wrong. He learns how to be indispensable. He realizes it makes him unstoppable.

Newton Geiszler is one tick away from self-destructing for the rest of his life.”

A character study of Newt’s lifetime of risky behavior and predilection for taking risks of the “rock star” sort. (Spanning many years, continents, arguments, and accidents, but landing, unexpectedly, in a happy ending.)

Today Your Barista Is: Hella Fucking Gay, by unnecessary

Hermann is a professor. The barista at the coffee shop across the street is cute and very, very single.

It is inevitable, really.

Predictable, by cypress_tree

It’s a movie date, but they’re not really watching the movie.

Adventures In Knitting, by decadent_mousse

Newt decides to knit Hermann a sweater, with… mixed results.

You’ve Taken A Pizza My Heart, by decadent_mousse

Hermann and Newt are so busy with work, they don’t get much time to go out to dinner, so Newt decides to improvise.

Fear of a Name, by uhnonniemiss

Newt and Hermann never could decide on how to define what they are to each other. It takes several years, thousands of kisses, a vat of acid, a big fight, and a sunny Boston evening to help them choose.

every day I fight a war against the mirror, by thekaidonovskys

“It came at a price,” he says. “To understand them, I had to learn how to fear them.”

Cut to the Chase, by patster223

Hermann needs a haircut. He does not need the cute hairdresser to flirt with him, he does not need a scalp massage, and he does not need anything trendy or stylish done to his hair.

Thankfully, these are things that happen anyway. Barbershop AU, featuring hairdresser!Newt and smitten!Hermann.

The Sublime, by Lucretius

The waves are coming closer to them now, and yes, the tide is coming to them with crescendo crashes.

The white fringe of sea is mere fathoms away.

“Can we?” Hermann asks.

And it is the question that one asks because, the choice having been made in what feels like another lifetime, now, for the first time, there is someone here, here, right here—who can see a way of being and seeing long dormant under so many layers of performing and seeming.

Recover, by irisbleufic

You’re my new favorite blanket. Come inside?

Untoward, by LemonScience33

Newton licks his bottom lip. “Maybe, um…” he says.

Newton doesn’t continue. Hermann wills his breathing to remain steady. “Yes?”

Newton shrugs casually. “Maybe we could give each other a hand,” he says. “Just two friends… you know, helping each other out.”

Knocking Socks, by decadent_mousse

Hermann and Newt go sock-shopping.

Listening, by cypress_tree

Newt has a dirty talk kink, and Hermann has a really nice voice.

Act Together, by irisbleufic

“You know I’m only a liar when it matters, right?”

You + Me = Happiness ², by steviekat

The thing is, Newt had never really put much thought into the future. The future of K-Science? Sure! Her own? To be fair, this probably better than anything she could have imagined.

Got Your Back, by Doooooooom

The workload is taking its toll on Hermann’s shoulders. Luckily, Newt is a dab hand at shoulder massages.

That’s one way to shut you up, by offensiveagentpie

Based on this fanart by pixiepunch.

Hermann tries a new tactic to get Newt to be quiet for once.

wash us away, by thekaidonovskys

Thank god Hermann undresses after he’s entered the bathroom, or else walking in to find Newt sitting on the bench top would have been much much worse.

visions are seldom what they seem, by mundaneanarchy

Hermann likes Tchaikovsky. Newt likes Hermann.

The Sun On Your Face (I’m Freezing That Frame), by irisbleufic

“Hate to break it to you,” Newton whispers, kissing Hermann’s neck with a happy sigh before letting his head drop to rest against Hermann’s shoulder, “but we’re busted in five, four, three—”

“Your ass is mine, Geiszler!” shouts Officer Hak, barging into the lab. “You too, Doctor Gottlieb. If you think you can get off so easy—”

The Good Old Days, by decadent_mousse

Hermann and Newt go scavenging for supplies during a blackout and get more than they bargained for.

A Proper Family Christmas, by uhnonniemiss

When Hermann ends up in the medical wing, he looks all set to spend Christmas by himself. Not if Newt gets a say in it, though.

Or, in which adopted and blood family save the Holidays

The Friendmas Ficlet Collection, by cypress_tree

A collection of five unrelated ficlets written as Christmas gifts for friends:

geniusbee: Hermann hurt/comfort patster223: Hermann wearing nail polish thehorrorinsymmetry: Hermann in lingerie bravinto: belly rubs decadentmousse: Harvest Moon AU

Aftershocks, by tastewithouttalent

“Hermann has to stumble away because the Drift is still too fresh and he can’t tell the heat of Newton’s body apart from his own anymore.” The impact of the Drift hits Hermann, and he and Newt don’t make it back to the laboratory.

Au Naturel, by decadent_mousse

Newt gives Hermann a wake up call during a very boring meeting.

Fortune’s Favor, by tamerofdarkstars

In which there is kissing, the end of the world, the subsequent salvation of the world, and more kissing.

Fills Trope_Bingo: Round 4 - Celebratory Kiss

Bump in the Night, by unicornsandbutane

Newt’s made a mistake, and it’s really a subjective matter whether it was a poor decision altogether or just a mere miscalculation. Regardless, he is forced to phone Hermann in the middle of the night, to deal with the consequences.

But the Gesture is Ruined, by cypress_tree

Five times Hermann tried to be romantic, one time he succeeded without even meaning to. A K-Sci romcom, basically.

Strange Bedfellows, by decadent_mousse

When Hermann and Newt first arrive at the Hong Kong Shatterdome, a paperwork mix-up forces them to share a room for awhile.

followed your ashes into outer space, by parpar

The numbers of the War Clock ticked down to zero, and the resulting euphoria was thick as smoke in the air. The assortment of PPDC members and civilian contractors were in an uproar, and Hermann and Newton made their way down the LOCCENT steps to stand in the midst of it.

When Tendo had finally managed to get Mako and Raleigh to stop hugging and cooperate with the rescue team, Newton had leaned his forehead into the curve of Hermann’s shoulder.

“We actually pulled it off,” he had whispered. “We did it, holy shit, it’s over.” Hermann had gracefully ignored the tears soaking into his collar and patted his colleague on the back while he pulled himself together.

Occupational Hazard, by decadent_mousse

Hermann overworks himself and gets a migraine.

In Space No One Can Hear You Mop, by decadent_mousse

Hermann and Newt are janitors sent to a derelict ship to clean things up after a group of aliens massacred the entire crew… but are they the only ones on board?

Liminality, by what_alchemy

What we know, after.

Fortuna Favet, by Mipeltaja

Newton seemed to think one could invoke good fortune simply by being bold enough or loud enough, a notion Hermann found utterly ridiculous.

It wasn’t that Hermann didn’t believe chance could on occasion work in his favour, it was just that life had taught him not to rely on it.

Brainspace and Kinkspace, by Emmalyn

Summary by me: Newt and Hermann exploring some of the delights of kinky sex.

Desperate Times, by decadent_mousse

Newt finds Hermann in a terrible state.

Matchsnaking, by patster223

There is a snake in Hermann’s apartment. This is not how he wanted to start his day.

Apartment neighbors AU where Newt’s snake keeps sneaking into Hermann’s apartment.

Put a Pin in That, by unicornsandbutane

Newt tries to convince Hermann to participate in a charity event. What ensues might be classed as ‘hijinks’, ‘shenanigans’, or ‘hilarity’, depending upon your perspective.

Remains, by berlynn_wohl

Newt and Hermann wrap Christmas presents and talk about death.

You Love Me Not, by mundaneanarchy

A story of love and coping with love told from the second-person perspective of Newt.

Newt loves Hermann and Hermann loves Newt but sometimes it’s not that easy.

Statiscally Significant Other, by unicornsandbutane

Flattery will get you everywhere.

Or, the fic computerbaby on tumblr requested, in which Newt compliments Hermann and Hermann is really really into it.

Pasta Aisle, by cypress_tree

Hermann and Newt meet for the first time in a grocery store. Hermann helps Newt grab something off a high shelf. Newt takes offense.

Disconnect, Connect Again, by cypress_tree

Raising Newt Geiszler has never been easy. Seeing him fall in love can be harder.

The development of Newt and Hermann’s relationship, from Jacob Geiszler’s point-of-view.

Spaces Between, by adropofred

Newt had not realised, somehow, that the world not ending would mean it would stubbornly keep on turning without waiting for him to catch up.

So what? He’s a scientist. He’ll do some catching up of his own and lose himself in the labyrinth of his and Hermann’s brains and their bodies.

This is absolutely not to be considered hiding, not that they can hide much anymore.

The Six Million Pillows Man, by adropofred

As it turns out, Hermann’s room is nothing special. His bed, on the other end, is very, very special.

Of course, Newt wouldn’t be himself if he didn’t find a way to turn this revelation into a situation where he could put his foot in his mouth.

Time For You and Time For Me, by patster223

A collection of Newmann prompts that I’ve filled on my tumblr. Contains: AUs, pining, flirting, bickering, several chapters of Hermann’s filthy exhibitionist kink, and two nerds learning to love each other in as many ways as possible.

The Beholder, by ItsClydeBitches

Written for the Newmann-uendo Hurt/Comfort challenge.

Hermann is feeling pretty insecure about his body. He’s unattractive. That’s a fact. Luckily Newton Geiszler’s number one law is still in place:

Hermann Gottlieb is ALWAYS wrong.

we’ll leave our tracks untraceable, by confused_android

When she steps off the plane in Logan International, something tight in her shoulders cracks, loosens, and she shakes free the last barb the PPDC had through her spine, through her brain, keeping her tense and wary for most of a decade. She yanks her heavy suitcase off of the carousel, identifiable by the years of layered duct tape repairing a seam that could once have been stitched, and flags the first taxi that will stop for her.

Permanent Ink, by mundaneanarchy

Inspired by this piece of fanart (http://rockstar-ologist.tumblr.com/post/126950663313) by rockstar-ologist

Newt gets Hermann’s initials tattooed on his hand. A month into their relationship. Hermann isn’t too happy about it.

Castaways’ Window, by Chancy_Lurking

“There are no words for the thoughts he has in that moment, because they are not his thoughts.”

Rings, by perniciousLizard

Three scenes, post movie. They’re happy.

Right Hand: Heart, by QuokkaFoxtrot

Two beers. That was all it took these days.

Dance In The Graveyards, by LemonScience33

As they round the next corner and lights come on, Newt’s first thought is, This had better be worth it, because we’re definitely gonna get caught.

His second thought is, That is the skull of Otachi’s baby, with lights strung over it.

His third thought is, This is definitely worth it.

Sweater Wars, by paenteom

Hermann takes his fashion illiteracy to new, festive levels. Newt is forced to retaliate.

Die Musik Kommt, by romangold

Maybe everyone’s drowning in the day, the night, memories and regrets and guilts, in relief, in pure, unadulterated happiness. Maybe they’re all dying.

Hermann finds Newt after the apocalypse is cancelled, and the two realize that perhaps they aren’t so toxic together after all.

Nigel, by uhnonniemiss

A particularly harsh snowstorm has brought the boiler- and Hermann- to a standstill.

(My piece for the 2015 Pacrim Holiday Swap!)

Etude, Op. 25 No. 12, by romangold

The climax always resolves to major, no matter how many times you play the piece. And the heroes always win, despite the amount of times you rewind to the beginning or fast-forward to the end.

sharing half our genes, and nothing in between, by getmean

“Christ, Hermann, is this a letterman jacket?” Newt cried, spinning and holding it up with a level of glee he hadn’t reached since he got that salivary gland from Mutavore. “How cliché can you get?”

Plausible Possibility, by cissues

Newt and Hermann experience some odd post-drift effects.

mountains sunk below the sea, by getmean

Newton has been, and always will be, what his father calls a ‘tough nut to crack’, but has an element of horrifying vulnerability that makes Hermann’s skin crawl. He selfishly likes Newton best when all his walls are intact.

netflix and chill, by w0rm

Hermann does the Netflix, Newt does the chill.

How to Deal with Accidental Neural Oversharing and Other Scientific Conundrums, by yourguardianangel

The world has not ended. Operation Pitfall is successful. Celebrations are had. But how are two snarky scientists meant to cope with having way too much of each others internal monologues retroactively overlaid with their own memories?

(with smut, that’s how.)

It’s All Good, by spirogyra

Thoughtless words, hurt feelings, cryptic statements, the drift makes things easier and more difficult, but in the end… it’s all good.

追伸, by lamphouse

“If I recall correctly, this is the man who confessed to wanting a pet Godzilla for his twentieth birthday, is it not? Glass houses, Dr. Geiszler.”

It takes two months for Newton Geiszler to fall in love. It takes thirty months, around two hundred letters, several time zones, and two missed-ish connections for him to actually admit it.

it’s alright, don’t you let it inside, by areunasty

They’re taking Gipsy Danger out for a trial run, and Newt watches with mild interest as the mech slices cleanly through the ocean. He thinks that if he was that big anything would be easy. Loving someone difficult, being loved, the quiet and painful twist of Hermann’s mouth whenever he looks at Newt recently.

The Price of Ghost Drifting, by confettiinmyhair

Newt is home early. Hermann has a surprise.

concentric circles, by lamphouse

It’s times like these that Hermann finds himself checking and double-checking his list of reasons why he works at the library. It’s also times like these that prove why nowhere on said list does it mention the people he works with.

The Boyfriend Experience, by berylnn_wohl

In the Shatterdome, Hermann confesses his disappointment that his and Newt’s relationship lacks romance. After the war is over, Newt vows to spend one year righting this wrong as they travel the world together on a lecture tour.

Everything We Never Said, by JennaCupcakes

Newt has a few regrets about his drift with Hermann. Namely, that he’s had a crush on the guy for a while and really doesn’t want him to find out.

Echoes in the Well of Silence, by unicornsandbutane

Hermann can hear Newton through the ducts.

Wishbone, by cypress_tree

Hermann doesn’t have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving, so Newt invites him over for food, family, and a little bit of flirting. Just a warm, fuzzy college AU to get you through the holidays.

Do Scientists Dream of Cloned Sheep?, by paenteom

Newt fumbles with the key card before he finally manages to swipe it, throws the door open and freezes.

There’s only one bed.

It’s massive, and covered in the fluffiest blanket he has ever seen, but it’s undeniably singular.

“Uh,” he says. “Awkward.”

Laughter, Confession, by cypress_tree

He’s nervous and awkward and he’s afraid he’ll mess up, but god, he wants this so bad.

Proving a Point, by steampunkepsilon

Newt thinks Hermann is a shy, reserved, vanilla kind of guy. Newt is wrong, and Hermann has sources.

Slumber Sequence, by strigine

Summary by me: Newton and Hermann’s sleeping habits.

Clean Clock, by cissues

'“So, you’re that guy, huh?” The man says, finally. He has his back to the newly emptied and even more newly dirtied sink and Hermann’s gaze is fixated on the encrusted plates and wine-stained glassware.’

Or, where Hermann is a hermit and also a clean freak with messy roommates.

Linguistics, by cypress_tree

Literally just a thousand words of Newt masturbating while listening to Hermann give an interview on a podcast.

i ain’t holy, i ain’t close, by queenofthestarrrs

The end of the world feels like home.

tell me you’ll love me for a million years, by buckgaybarnes

Hermann is working late, so Newt decides to be a great husband and tackle their chores. He mostly succeeds.

lost connection, by orphan_account

When the Shatterdome stays open for continuing research, the K-Science team realizes they’ll actually have to deal with the after-effects of their Drift.

Trial and Error, by cypress_tree

A romantic comedy of errors in which Newt and Hermann try to spice things up….and fail spectacularly.

Mixed Signals, by SkysongMA

After the Drift, Hermann starts having sex dreams.

Newt’s sex dreams.

That are all about Hermann.

Oh Mein Me, by junkiechurch

You wonder how a heart like his could ever love a man like you.

clothes (or a lack thereof), by orphan_account

Once the war is over, Hermann and Newt move in together. Newt realizes how little clothing they actually own.

[mimicofmodes]

Sanditon, episode 4 part i

I was thinking a bit earlier this morning about Sanditon continuations ... the only other one I’ve consumed is the 1975 one by “another lady”, and while I don’t remember many details, it struck me as very much in the Georgette Heyer vein. At the time, Heyer’s characterization/plot tendencies were the predominant way of interpreting the Regency, so it was normal to have, for instance, the climax of the story be an attempted, kind of silly abduction of the heroine which she foils through being sensible and the abductor coincidentally taking her by her home. Now the predominant way of interpreting the early nineteenth century stress depictions of “realistic” dirt, the rules of society being highly flexible, and (admirably) recognizing that the world didn’t consist solely of white upper-middle-class English people - so a mainstream continuation of our time looks very different from both how Austen would have written the story and how an author of the 1970s would do it.

Also, I may have been comparing some of the earlier parts of the show with the 1975 continuation? D: I thought the original fragment ended a few chapters later than it actually does. Very bad me. I will have to go back and edit out some of the mean things I said about changes that were actually just original work. (Original work that didn’t convince me! But not weird changes. Actually, it appears that the scene where Sidney tells Charlotte off for criticizing his family is more likely a deliberate response to the continuation, quite interesting.) Sorry about that.

Anyway, on with the plot.

Arthur and Diana are headed off to Dr. Fuchs for their daily (!) appointment, looking very Regency. Charlotte, on the other hand, is wearing a more 1820s pelisse - the full sleeves, the broad collar, the lowered waistline - in a very Georgiana-ish bright pink. She picks up her post, just ahead of Georgiana’s maid in line. Georgiana has received a response from her secret lover! 

The letter Charlotte received from home looks like it’s written with the paper having been filled up, turned 90 degrees, and written on some more - an actual period practice, if you were wondering.

Ah, the jumper dress style. It goes through periods of popularity in Regency films and costuming. This is, IMO, an example that does it right - the habit shirt underneath doesn’t look like a modern top, and the gown itself just looks right. Mr. and Mrs. Parker rib her a bit about only just coming to like Sidney, and when Tom says that he’s “altogether habit-forming” on greater acquaintance, Charlotte has a consternated look on her face that spells foreshadowing.

Clara’s pelisse-ish dress looks a bit 1820s to me, but Lady Denham’s gown is sheer 1750s-1760s, with the robings and bows down the front, taking the “older lady wears older styles” meme way too far. Lady Denham is working at her job of trying to marry off the Denhams well, which bothers Clara. Lady Denham then goes on to say that Clara’s prospects are pretty bad, which is true, but ... you have it entirely in your power to do something about that? So they’re not “beyond repair”. She also has no more sympathy left for Clara’s horrible burn. :(

Clara visits the Stringer home, which she says reminds her of her own, reminding me of the ambiguity/confusion in the beginning of the series - is this politeness or really a signal that she’s not really part of the gentry? Her blue spencer is lovely, but the gown underneath has an extremely full skirt - more like something from the 1790s, at least 20 years out of date.

While much of the dwelling seems accurate to me, this huge leather armchair is very much a modernism. Upholstered armchairs, and upholstery in general, were signs of wealth. It looks like a worn-out Laz-E Boy recliner, especially with the china mug resting on the arm.

He’s so sweet! Look at his face! Charlotte takes a look at his architectural plans, which his father disapproves of since he’s just a working-class foreman. She likes them and supports his desire to improve his situation. It’s awkward, though, and she leaves. Beautiful Stringer looks longingly after her from the door.

Charlotte is taken to Georgiana, also in a lovely jumper-style dress (technically, this may have been called a “Russian gown”, but I think we don’t have enough evidence about that) in a very G bright sky blue, who has a plan for them to hang out together - a picnic! Mrs. Griffiths doesn’t approve because for some reason she considers them declassé (they weren’t), but Georgiana pretends that the Parkers will be there as well, which soothes her and worries Charlotte.

A very excellent, if dowdy, gown on Mrs. Griffiths. I feel like I’ve seen it in another production, but not sure which. Any thoughts?

Over at Denham House, Esther is also in a jumper dress! Hers is also in a signature color, dark red/purple, and it’s worn only over her corset (which honestly looks chilly).

Sir Edward’s deshabille takes the form of a silk banyan/dressing gown in a similar shade. He’s settling in to read Babington’s letter to Esther, so it makes sense to visually link them. She distracts him by asking him to lace her corset tighter, and he kisses her neck after doing so, which Clara sees when she comes by with a letter from Lady Denham. Esther realizes that Clara was there, while Sir Edward dismisses the noise as one of their own servants. (So their servants are aware of their incestry? And they haven’t spread it all over town? Okay.)

Please note the accurate spiral lacing for the corset! Esther also interests me further by seeming to have partly turned the conversation from Babington and her face away from her brother because she’s not completely, entirely, 100% certain that she’s so uninterested in the former.

Georgiana takes Charlotte to a little architectural folly deep in the woods, where she runs into the arms of a handsome man. Charlotte gets this really disgusted/upset look on her face that Charlotte you look like a racist stop stop is way out of proportion to what’s happening, given the overall tone of this show toward proper early-19th-century behavior. Even after Georgiana introduces Mr. Otis Molyneux, Charlotte is extremely concerned about him in such a way that it definitely seems like she finds black men especially threatening, even when you take into account Sidney’s asking her to watch over his ward.

They’re so cute!

Georgiana explains that Sidney is keeping them apart, which makes Charlotte pensive. Otis suggests she leave the two of them but Charlotte refuses to let them be unchaperoned, and G is pissed when she finds out that she’s been set to spy on her.

Dr. Fuchs finally gives the Parkers the bad news that they aren’t sick, telling Diana that she has hysteria and Arthur that he needs to lose some weight. Um, writers? You know that “hysteria” as a proposed condition was a meaningless and often dismissive label for various physical and mental symptoms? It’s the kind of thing one can take in a production where characters are actually of-their-time, but when you show an individual as previously being modern-minded it’s a deeply strange inclusion (as with Charlotte above). Fuchs also suggests that they ride on the beach to help, which seems like would have very little effect on Arthur’s not-actually-corpulent physique or Diana’s “hysteria”.

Charlotte gooseberries it up in a field of bluebells. She’s trying to be a hard-nosed chaperone, but it’s clear that the two love each other, and when they tell the story of how they met - Otis mistook Georgiana for a servant at a ball, which doesn’t make a lot of sense given the difference between ball dress and a maid’s outfit, but whatever - they’re so sweet that she visibly thaws. Their story is also an obvious parallel for Charlotte and Sidney: “I found him to be rude and sanctimonious.” “I found her to be spoilt and petulant”. I know C/S is going to be endgame but I don’t have to like it. Charlotte tries to defend Sidney, but they say that he doesn’t have her best interests at heart. She’s not sure who to believe.

Stringer goes to show Tom the plans he stayed up late to draw, only to be told that they won’t be needed after all. He’s devastated - proving his ability to be an architect was going to be the means of making his career. And Tom doesn’t even appear to understand that he might have put Stringer to a lot of trouble even apart from his ambitions. He also fails to follow through on the promised additional workers needed to keep the pace he demands. Tom!!

The Denhams turn up, each making a strong contrast with the Parker they’re next to in terms of color. When you think about it, these are the only two pairs of siblings on the show that are always shown as pairs. Esther’s spencer is a bit 1820s, but her hat is ... 1940s? Sir Edward is confident that Clara will be sent off very soon to leave them as their aunt’s sole heirs.

Just after we see Tom Parker going into a shop to buy an expensive necklace for his wife, Stringer goes home and burns his architectural plans. :( 

Charlotte is still trying to be an annoying chaperone, but she’s on much friendlier terms. As Otis suggests they borrow a boat and go for a little sail, he and Georgiana’s relative undress compared to Charlotte (Georgiana taking her spencer off outside isn’t too big of a deal, but Otis losing his coat and waistcoat and opening up his shirt is ... a lot of stripping for the 1810s) parallels their willingness to shed the rules. It’s not like Sidney’s going to find them as he’s in London, Georgiana points out ... but then we cut to Sidney riding into Sanditon, and talking to Mrs. Parker about how he’s going to go visit Georgiana. So it’s clear what’s going to happen.

Otis sings a lovely rendition of “The Water is Wide” and then proposes to Georgiana. Wait, what?! They’re not already engaged? Dear writers’ room, have you ever read or at least watched Sense and Sensibility? And when she refuses him, it’s because she can’t get married yet without her guardian’s consent, but she could surely accept him and just wait on getting married ... ? Anyway, he throws himself into the water as he said he would and they all laugh again.

[aikainkauna]

Movie meeeehm

Thanks to @nitrateglow for these!

1: A movie you enjoyed as a kid that you don't now

-Probs some comedy I'd find awfully sexist/racist/homophobic etc. now. But of course, I can't recall a specific one, probs because the experience is so deeply squicky and traumatic. Oh, wait, I know. I adored The Great Mouse Detective as a kid, but have heard so many "bleh" comments about it later that I don't want to ruin it by rewatching it as an adult. Why take a happy, cherished, pure and joyous memory away, especially as there are so few of those in my life anyway in proportion to the bad memories?

2: A movie you disliked as a kid that you like/love now

-Not a movie, but I was literally too fucking terrified to watch Doctor Who as a kid on cable, because the Tom Baker repeats they were showing terrified me with the title sequence alone. That empty stare and howling, diddly-duming music were enough to give me nightmares. So I only got into Who in my late teens!

3: Your favorite movie as a kid

-Define "kid." I went through several. I loved the Disney Robin Hood, of course, and at puberty, Wayne's World (yes) and The Princess Bride were my own cult movies, before I had anyone to fangirl them with. Ah, the pre-Internet era.

4: An actor/actress it took you time to warm up to

I remember being weirdly terrified and disturbed by Jeremy Brett as a kid, but then I felt the same about Bowie, and... well. Clearly it was my baby self not knowing WTF to do with all this stirring, restless energy that later turned out to be my skinnyandrogynousbisexualguy orientation thingy. And while I'd first seen Caligari and Casablanca as a teen in the early 90s, I wasn't ready for Connie until he pounced me in 2012. I would not have "got" him the same way and as hard until I was a grown-up, with a wide variety of experiences from many areas of life and a boatload of books/learning behind me. Just... no way.

5: A director it took you time to warm up to

-If anything, I've cooled off various directors I was impressed by when younger. So much of the auteur stuff gets wanky and self-imposing, in this Arrogant Artist Guy "look at my GENIUS big VISION and also insecurity about my penis size" kind of way. I like directors who can be warm and have fun and who show some real humanity (not wanky anvilly/kitchen sink-y sort of "humanity" either). Maybe Branagh? I found him a bit annoying as a kid, but now fap all over his stuff because now I'm old enough to Get It. He is the best kind of fanboy director; his geekiness is catching. Listening to his Thor commentary was a real eye-opener into my realising just how massive a nerd he is, and in a good, "one of us" kind of way.

6: Top five favorite soundtracks of your favorite movie composer

-There isn't just one! But Clint Mansell and Debbie Wiseman turn to gold everything they touch. Debbie especially is hugely unknown still, but she has this most amazing, swellingly Romantic music full of sweeping emotion that I just can't rec her enough. Do check her out; she'll give you goosebumps.

7: Three movies that defined your teen/childhood years

-I think I mentioned those already! But as a teenager, Bram Stoker's Dracula, La Reine Margot and Heavenly Creatures were formative. There were others I obsessed about way more than those, but they weren't as influential--it's more like they were massaging buttons I already had.

8: Sci-fi or westerns?

-Blake's 7! AKA "The Dirty Dozen in Space."

9: Are there any movies you own more than one copy of?

-Ahhahaha. AAAHHAHAHAHA! Of The Thief of Bagdad, I own: The Criterion clusterfuck with the awful clumsy cover someone had their 5-year-old draw, the Nordic DVD, the German Blu-Ray because I live on the edge (what with those Veidt Eye Closeups in HD being a hazard to any uterus) and at least three different digital copies. Because I'm me. I also own two digital copies and one DVD of Casablanca, three digital and one DVD of A Woman's Face and don't get me started on the British telefantasy I have on both DVD and VHS. I have spare copies of both the Caligari Masters of Cinema release and the ITV DVD of The Spy In Black, so I guess I should throw them at somebody.

10: Physical media or streaming?

-Neither. Video files firmly saved onto and run from my hard drive. Fuck streaming with its choppiness (ruins the viewing experience for me) and physical media are usually beyond my budget (unless I save up for a Connie DVD). Besides, I rip my favourite movie discs onto my HD anyway. I want to be able to gif that shit, dammit!

11: Are there any movies you watch on special occasions every year (Christmas, Halloween, birthdays, your mother's aunt's wedding anniversary, etc.)

-Used to do Nightmare Before Christmas on Halloween, but not any more. I still attempt ToB every Christmas. And I used to do All Through The Night with wine on my birthday, but as I can't tolerate alcohol anymore, the experience of Watching ATTN Drunk is no more. Someone start a Halloween tradition with me where we watch either The Student of Prague or Eerie Tales (or both) every year?

12: What movie do you most associate with your best friend(s)?

-Gosh, so few have stayed, so it's more like "movie that reminds you of a broken friendship," yay...?! I've learned to try and not associate movies with people that way any more, because it's more painful than it's worth. Connie is my best friend. He's like Krishna that way.

13: Name a movie adaptation you thought was better than or equal to its source material.

-LOTR put in more facial features and characterisation than Tolkien ever did, and did the tales far less fucking tediously. Imagine if you'd had to sit and watch hobbits walking through the countryside for 6 hours with barely anything happening?! Yeah...

14: What genres do your favorite movies tend to be?

-Historical, fantasy, Gothic Romantic, just Romantic stuff on the whole. More old than new movies these days. Why watch shitty modern chick flicks when I have far better characterisation and far less narrowly defined female lives in old-timey "women's pictures?" And guys who actually fucking shaved, dressed in clothes that were tailored for them instead of rented and saggy, whose bodily expressions weren't frozen for fear of "fagginess," and who weren't pumped full of 'roids.

15: Are you a fan of period dramas and if so, what era do you enjoy best?

-Yes. I love me some costume dramas, but I am seriously picky about them--most post-90s ones have been fucking awful and tend to feature shitty costumes and unkempt hair that would've sent real historical people to Bedlam, wobblycam from hell, vomit-inducingly excessive modernisation to be "edgy", and that one painfully skeletal bint they shove into every period drama ever these days, so it's... slim pickings for a history nerd, these days. There aren't many good ones set in the 17th century/Baroque era, which I love the most: the two Baroque dramas I wholeheartedly love are both series. (The Devil's Whore and By The Sword Divided.) The Angeliques and Musketeer adaptations are riddled with flaws, but there are some glowing bits within. As for The Golden Age of Islam... bloody hell, there really aren't that many good ones out there, are there?! ToB and Jodhaa Akbar and Disney's Aladdin, obviously. La Reine Margot isn't "my" period but it's great, as is Dangerous Liaisons (also not my period)--those are so fucking perfect. And the Connie period dramas, well... I think of them as primarily "silent movies" or "old movies," actually. Of those, The Student of Prague, ToB and The Wandering Jew are the best "costume" ones, IMHO. (I'd probs enjoy Lucrezia Borgia and Carlos and Elisabeth way more, were the copies we have not so smudgy.)

16: Name a movie you love that you would recommend to just about everyone.

-Ah, but we know there are always cynical cunts out there who'd give even Casablanca two stars, so what's the point? I'd still recommend it, though. And The Lion King, I guess.

17: Name a movie you love that you consider an acquired taste.

-Honestly, I'm thinking of telly rather than movies again. You will pry my cherished copy of The Time Monster from my cold, dead hands. Does The Devil of Winterborne count as a movie or TV? That's how far back my love for Mark Gatiss goes. Um... Don't Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood makes me fucking cry with laughter (the comedic timing is what does it. *beat* "Ain't dat some shit!"). Of Connie's oeuvre, yes, I know Bella Donna is rubbish, but Connie and Mary are SIZZLING and horny and juicy and it's Valid as a BDSM porn movie. And the novel is actually good.

18: Name a film you like directed by/starring a filmmaker/actor you normally don't care for.

-Not so much actor/director, but I did *not* expect to love Thor as much as I did, because I expected a dumb popcorn movie but got great adventure cinema with a touch of Shakespeare instead. I really am not the right audience for regular Marvel features at all, before or after. Fuck Marvel up its dumb macho Republican ass. But Thor is fucking beautiful and operatic and poetic and majestic and Pagan and shit. Branagh knows what I like.

19: Name a movie that blew your mind.

-A Woman's Face (1941). Because. Holy. Fuck. How can I keep on finding yet more details in it six years after first watching it, having watched it countless times by now?! And obvs all the other stuff, like the shockingly good female POV, amazing and complex woman protagonist, amazing writing, amazing ensemble cast, amazing direction, amazing lighting, amazing evil Torsten Slinkypussy Barring and The. Goddamn. Attic. Scene.

20: What genre mash-up would you most love to see that either hasn't been done yet or hasn't been done enough?

-Feminist-savvy historical romance with fantasy elements and hot explicit sex that's not shit. Basically, like the stuff you see in my fics, but better paced and woven into coherent adventure movies.

21: The coolest movie you've ever seen

-Too, too many. But Bogie was the coolest. And Claude Rains had the best acting skills. And Conrad Veidt was Conrad motherfucking Veidt. So what with those three mountains of coolness all converging under the Moroccan sky, I'm sure it's safe to say "Casablanca."