#the essek journey

[ravelqueen]

Love how the one friend i got into critical role is now suffering the same fate that i did: hearing/seeing this Essek fellow around all the time and realising that he only shows up from ep 60+

[ariadne-mouse]

Essek Thelyss realizing just who is the perpetrator of all the dick graffiti in Braius's backstory

[ruvigapo]

Run boy run!! The sex monsters eat salmon!!

In which i arrive Fashionably Late to the fishssek party

[trashyshrew]

[hello-eeveev]

the face of a man realizing that he has to use his 9th level spell to teleport AGAIN instead of using it to access his demiplane so he can hang out with his partner

[pocketgalaxies]

beau and caleb butting heads so bad about what to do with essek...oof!

[liesonthefloordramatically]

Was tagged by @trisshawkeye an age ago but was only writing student feedback/journal article, both of which are Forbidden, for weeks and weeks. But, hey, looping back now.

Post the last sentence you wrote (fanfic / original / anything) and tag as many people as there are words in the sentence.

Essek wasn’t sure that they had been, but he wasn’t going to disagree, not when he had already misstepped once already.

Not going to tag one thousand people, but tagging @adventures-in-asexuality @corvuscorona @jojolightningfingers and @sciencemyfiction if you haven't already been tagged and want to participate :3c

[myrling-art]

I need people to understand how fundamentally important Essek Thelyss is for people like me.

But I am also not super comfortable flaunting my squishy emotions for everyone to see, so we'll be hiding them in the tags because we are so brave but also very soft.

FINAL POLL

Propaganda

Gilmore:

He's fabulous, he's powerful, he dueled the Cinder King and lived to tell the tale, he's fucking gorgeous, he had a really close relationship with Vox Machina that survived being rejected by Vax romantically, he held the barrier over Whitestone and smushed an assassin and over 30 years later he's still Glorious

Essek:

He's gay he's demi he's goth he's a war criminal he's got floaty magic he's got it all, folks

*picture has been changed for a second time. Stop complaining, please*

[hanaaria]

HE'S HEREEEEEEEE

[nellasbookplanet]

I think it's funny that I keep seeing Liliana compared to Essek on the basis of 'beloved npc the cast wants to see redeemed', with a contingent of fandom claiming Liliana to be more 'deserving' of said redemption because they see her as a victim and Essek as a villain. To me, if we are going to compare her to a c2 npc, her role is much more similar to that of Astrid (and Eadwulf, though he's less central).

As in, she’s an antagonist who’s deeply emotionally and historically tied to one of the pc's, with said pc being unable to bring themself to give up on her despite her being unwilling to stop fighting for the bad guy (examples: Liliana casting timestop to get bells hells past the vanguard; Astrid allowing the nein to flee to the fire plane; both of them returning to working for their evil boss immediately afterwards).

Like Astrid, Liliana was manipulated into joining a cult-like supremacist organisation (though unlike Astrid she was an adult, giving her less leeway) for what they thought of as good, just reasons (Liliana to save her daughter and 'free' exandria from the gods; Astrid to protect her home nation). Like Astrid she is a victim, but she is also undeniably a villain. Both of them have the lives of countless innocents on their hands and could not, for the longest time, be trusted. The fact that they are sad little meow meows or whatever doesn't change this. Even at the end of c2, Astrid may have turned on her boss, but unlike Caleb she was unable to fully give up the organisation he was part of, becoming part of the assembly herself. Liliana may be out from under Ludinus' thumb, but she has shown little indication that she has moved away from his ideas of 'let's blame the gods for all the ills of the world and exterminate them for it'.

Essek, while arguably a much darker character who acted for wholly selfish reasons, nonetheless entered c2 as a perceived ally. By the time the nein found out about his involvement there was already a foundation of trust and friendship, and he had made the decision to sever ties with the assembly (though it took a bit longer before the guilt and regret caught up) while all but devoting himself to the nein after. Liliana and Astrid both struggled for most of the campaign to turn their backs on the evil organisation they worked for no matter the pleading of loved ones. All three are morally grey characters who at some point had the potential to be redeemed or go full antagonist (WHAT would have happened if Liliana found out Imogen really knew of the assassination attempt) but their journeys and the way they are presented to the audience as well as the players differ quite strongly.

If you are going to compare Essek and Liliana, admit to their strongest similarity: the fact that they both had the agency to choose their bad actions, and that neither were an innocent victim to the consequences that followed.

[annemarieyeretzian]

essek saying “friends, I think this is where our journey ends.” and imogen asking “past caught up with you?” and essek answering “on occasion, it does. I do not think this would be the last time we meet. but for now, it has been an honor and a pleasure.” and imogen saying “we’ll see you again.” and chetney asking “if we wanted to reach out, how would we do that?” and essek answering “you’re clever. I think you’ll find a way. besides, this one can talk to my boyfriend.” and orym saying “got him on speed dial.” and chetney saying “thank you.” and fearne saying “thank you, essek.” and ashton saying “thank you.” and laudna saying “thank you.” 🥺

[americankimchi]

essek thelyss got hit with the "i can fix him" beam and his character/arc never fully recovered from that ordeal

some days i think to myself about the wasted potential that was essek criticalrole and feel a headache form behind my eyes.

[edelgarfield]

i love shadowgast, i think their journey together learning how to be better people & healing is beautiful.

but nothing annoys me more than when Caleb gets all the credit for Essek's redemption arc, or when Essek's relationship with Caleb is automatically placed on a pedestal above his friendship with the rest of the Mighty Nein.

because it is straight up untrue. it wasn't even Caleb that did most of the legwork reaching out to Essek, it was Jester. Yes, their magic lessons, and Caleb's understanding went a long way towards showing Essek that he could change, but Jester was the one who consistently and repeatedly reached out to him. I am of the firm belief that without Jester, the Mighty Nein would never have gotten past Essek's initial standoffishness.

And furthermore, Caleb was Essek's friend first. I don't think it's ever been confirmed, but IMO most of Essek's initial attraction to Caleb was 1) academic 2) performative, and any genuine physical or romantic attraction didn't start developing until post-reveal. I'm not even convinced Essek was romantically interested in Caleb, or at least able to identify it as such, by the END of the campaign. Essek values Caleb primarily as a friend and any romance on top of that is a bonus.

Essek's relationship with Caleb is not inherently more important than his friendship with the rest of the Mighty Nein just because they're dating. He loves all of them, and expresses that multiple times at the end of CR2. It was their friendship that changed him, not his interest in Caleb. Caleb values the Mighty Nein's friendship more than whatever budding romance he had with Essek. Essek's entire life doesn't, nor should it revolve around Caleb! Caleb is an important part, yes, but he values and needs the love he receives from the rest of the Mighty Nein just as much.

As someone who's aro/ace-spectrum and has little to no interest in romance, every time I see Essek's relationship to the Mighty Nein reduced to his relationship with Caleb, it feels like a slap in the face. It validates my deepest fear that I'm just an accessory in my friends' lives, and that no matter how much I love them or what I do for them, I'm inevitably going to be discarded when someone they want to date comes along.

People will watch 500+ hours of a show that emphasizes over and over the importance of friendship and platonic love then turn around and reduce it to romance alone.

[ariadne-mouse]

From the Florida Supercon, re: what the cast is excited for in the assorted animated series-

Matt: I'm excited to explore elements outside of the Mighty Nein's perspective and journey, things that were alluded to, moments between NPCs, and factions, and antagonists, that were just part of the background of my imagination while we were playing the game

Me: neutral evil Essek making bad decisions let's GO

[shadowgast-recs-weekly]

Whump: A Shadowgast Rec List

This week, we have whump! Check under the cut for 16 fics featuring all sorts of hurt just in time for whumptober, and don't forget to comment and kudos if you like them!

Stronger together by Bob fish & enemytosleep (11000, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Essek joins tm9 on an adventure … and his inexperience shows.

Reccer says: The outsider’s view of tm9 is fun, and it does a great job of exploring Essek’s struggles at this stage of the campaign. Bonus points for happy Caleb.

The Fullness of Time by Cers (162.788, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Choose Not to Warn

Caleb and Essek travel through time after narrowly escaping death in aeor. Their journey has unexpected consequences and Essek ends up trapped between timelines, facing a fate worse than death.

Reccer says: Just when you think everything is fine and all challenges have been overcome, this story hits you with a mean left hook. 10/10 would sob my heart out again

it's strange what desire will make foolish people do by GammaRey (3479, General) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek gets injured after the Lucien fight and Caleb takes care of him

Reccer says: short and sweet!

proof by contradiction by Chrome (19620, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Beauregard asks for Dairon's help freeing a friend held captive by the Cerberus Assembly. They and Essek work together to escape.

Reccer says: A wonderful look into Dairon's character and perspective. The glimpsed she sees of the Nein's relationships with Essek are so wonderful. I find myself rereading the ending in paticular over and over again. Though shadowgast is not the focus of the fic, what we see of it has definitely inspired how i view their relationship to outsiders.

The Mind and The Malady by SaltCore (38945, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Essek has to endure the Aeor delve with the Mighty Nein whilst suffering from hanahaki.

Reccer says: A classic amongst Shadowgast fics, honestly. All of it is so good, but I'm particularly fond of the in-universe explanation for Exandrian hanahaki and I still think about Caleb and Essek's conversation at the end of the fic all the time.

some things time can't fix by Chrome (25930, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: None

Daemon AU - Essek is arrested for treason. The Dynasty severs the daemons of prisoners before executing them so they can’t be reborn.

Reccer says: Oh man there is so much emotion packed in. The world we see is fascinating, and it is such a painful ride seeing the development of Essek’s situation.

as if through a prism by wanderinghooves (30812, General) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek and Caleb have a terrible time in Aeor.

Reccer says: Incredible character study, very well written. I Very strongly recommend it!

Slow In The Tide by SaltCore (3853, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Drowning

Essek makes a decision during a fight with Uk'atoa's minions. Essek doesn't know how to swim.

Reccer says: I liked it!

bow shock by SaltCore (4615, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Caleb is attacked by a Volstrucker. Essek rescues him.

Reccer says: Essek’s ruthlessness is extremely my jam.

Mourning Sun and Falling Star by LuckyOwlsFoot (21338, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: Major Character Death, Graphic Depictions of Violence

A whumptastic time in Aeor, part 2.

Reccer says: These cursed ruins can fit so much hurt/comfort in them.

heliopause by SaltCore (5035, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Essek is attacked by Dynasty assassins. Caleb rescues him.

Reccer says: A lot of evocative details and a hopeful ending.

Crush by flashhwing (3672, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: Choose Not to Warn, Serious Injury, Light Suffocation, Temporary Paralysis

While in Aeor, the wizards get caught in a tunnel collapse. Essek is able to avoid getting trapped, but Caleb isn't so lucky.

Reccer says: The way spacing is utilized is fantastic for building the atmosphere of the fic and showcasing just how long Caleb spends trapped. The Sendings and dynamic between Caleb and Essek are so delicious, just top-tier hurt/comfort with heavy emphasis on the hurt.

all that it took (for the dream to break) by neinofthem (greekphilosophress) (1851, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: Graphic Depictions of Violence

essek in the Dungeon, slowly taken apart physically and mentally

Reccer says: Makes me cry every time. Short but packed with emotion.

Hold Me Close, Cut Me Deep by CatgirlTheCrazy (14192, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek stumbles across a dangerous entity in Aeor that takes the form of Caleb. Obviously, terrible things ensue and they are forced to make some difficult decisions.

Reccer says: The pre-relationship pining, inadvertently severely injuring each other and the resulting guilt from that, having to make life or death decisions that deeply affect their relationship, incubi, very nice recovery feels with some hurt/comfort. What more could you ask for?

Reports of my safety have been greatly exaggerated by ghosttopiary (59343, General) Reccer's Content Notes: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Ludinus kidnaps Essek to use him as bait to trap the Nein. Essek refuses to comply.

Reccer says: lotta hurt lotta comfort

The following fic received two recs!

Tomb of Rust by LuckyOwlsFoot (23682, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Strangulation, Drowning, PTSD and Panic Attacks, Serious Injury

The wizards go to Aeor and things go far worse than they could've possibly imagined.

Reccer 1 says: These cursed ruins can fit so much hurt/comfort in them. Reccer 2 says: There are several scenes from this fic and its sequel that will haunt me until the day I die and I mean that in the most complimentary sense. Everything that could go wrong for the wizards does and in many ways you will not expect going into the fic. Excellent whump, excellent plot twists and developments, and also excellent moments of comfort between Caleb and Essek in the midst of all their suffering!

This is one of our weekly communally-generated shadowgast rec lists. Every week we announce a new theme and allow anyone to submit a fic recommendation. 

And hey, anyone includes you!

Next week, we'll be featuring fics that include or feature cultural differences! Big or small, they can both be sweet or lead to confusion. Either way, it makes for wonderful fics

Any fics coming to mind? Well, then use this form to submit!

[your-enby-antihero]

I’m on my shit again so bear with me.

Do you think that if Caleb had been given the power to go back in time and save Molly from the death that he had, would he? Would he hold his cheek and stroke the sweat stuck curls from his forehead like the first time Molly had broken Caleb out of his mind in that cave. Would he have told Molly that he would be okay and that they would take care of the rest as Molly fell into unconscious sleep. Would Caleb Widogast have shouted for Molly to take care of his health instead of using that Blood Curse? Would Caleb Widogast finally get to truly thank the person that sent him on a journey of healing and family?

Alternatively would Molly have held Essek’s hands as Caleb told him he was not truly evil deep down in the hull of that fateful ship. Would Essek have seen the bright colourful tiefling and seen the most in a second lease on life. Would Essek have gotten to walk alongside the saviour of his saviours.

Would Mollymauk Tealeaf have been loved so fiercely by people who owe so much of their growth to a silly carnival barker? What if given the time they had been allowed they went to love and be loved without fear of death stealing it away?

None of this makes sense but… I’m in my feelings about what could have been with shadowidomauk.