#the episode linked above is Episode Twenty Two btw

[thenightfolknetwork]

I need help. I am a changeling. At least, I think I am. For my own sake, I hope I am.

You see, I’ve been changing my face for years. Pretending to be someone else because I know that our kind aren’t always accepted. But now, I feel a bit lost. I have prosopagnosia. Face blindness.

This isn’t actually as big of a problem as it may seem, because usually the moment I do see a face, I can make a perfect one in response. I’ll look like whatever they want me to. And that’s fine, I suppose. For the most part.

But the problem is, I’ve forgotten my own face. I used to be able to remember it well enough, I think. But now I can’t seem to recall it at all. And it’s been getting worse. Even my voice can’t seem to return to normal, if there even was a normal to begin with.

I’m scared now. My face and voice are my own, but at the same time, I’m acutely aware that they aren’t. They are attached to my body, if that’s any indication of self. But the person I see in the mirror is not me. Sometimes it looks nothing like me. I worry that my thoughts are starting to become something else entirely.

If I can’t remember the voice in my throat, how can I trust the voice in my head? The hands writing these words?

My friend confronted me the other day. Called me a fake, an evil thing. And of course, I became one, without even thinking. I hurt them. I didn’t mean to.

I can’t trust my head, my face, my past. What if I’ve always been this evil thing? What if I never was a true changeling, just a fake, desperate to change my face? How do I figure out what I am, when I don’t remember who I used to be? How can I hope to find my true form again, when every time I look in the mirror, I see the monster that I am?

Oh, my dear reader. You poor thing. This sounds horribly frightening, and I am so glad you've been able to reach out and ask for help.

I don't believe for one moment that you are “an evil thing”. I also don't believe that the person who called you that is any kind of friend to you.

You are experiencing profound and distressing disruptions to your sense of identity – you need to be treated with care and kindness, not accusations. What's more, you deserve that kindness. You deserve to be helped.

Before I go on, it would be remiss of me not to address the issue of language and terminology here, though more for our other readers than for you in particular. I will not waste too much time on the matter.

It will suffice to acknowledge that while terms like “evil” and “monster” have be reclaimed by some in our community – and enthusiastically so, at that – they are far from universally accepted. It's clear from your letter that you do not view these words or concepts as liberating or radical.

I urge the rest of our audience to please respect that difference of opinion, and to remember that what one member of our community chooses to call themselves need not reflect on how others use those words. I will have very little patience for anyone wading into my inbox to complain that the language here is somehow “malevolent phobic”.

Now, back to the matter at hand. I am reminded of a letter I answered some years back from a listener wrestling with ideas of identity around somatic instability. In their case, they were concerned about whether or not they could ever be said to know their friend's “real” self, when that friend transformed regularly in different contexts.

The circumstances between you and that person are considerably different, of course. But I believe the same philosophy that helped their might help you, too.

You were once one person, and have since grown and changed and become someone new. It is a statement that applies to every person who has ever lived. Please, try to let go of this unreasonable expectation of constancy.

As much as you can, I want you to unlearn this narrative of a single, static “self”. There is no unyielding kernel at your centre which defines all that you are, and as such, there is no way for you to somehow deviate from who you “really” are. You cannot help but be yourself – there is nobody else you can possibly be.

(At least, assuming you have ruled out the possibility of surreptitious cohabitation. If you suspect you may, in fact, be possessed or otherwise inhabited, please pursue that course of enquiry before continuing any further.)

Uncontrolled shifting is a well documented, if poorly understood, phenomenon, either as genetic trait, the result of a curse or divine punishment, or as a stress response. Speaking to people in similar circumstances, whether online or in person, will hopefully help you feel less alone – and less “monstrous”.

Finally, I strongly encourage you to seek out professional support to treat the underlying issues at play. You have become so used to habitually shifting your identity to meet other people's expectations, you find it almost impossible to resist doing so – even when the results are unpleasant for you and for others.

That isn't an issue with your body, reader. It's an issue with your self-esteem, and your compulsive desire to minimise your own wishes to make way for others. It will be a long and difficult road to unlearn those habits and to accept yourself as you are. But I truly believe you can find a way to live authentically from moment to moment, even as time carries you unerringly away from the person you were, and onwards, to the person you're becoming.

[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]

[historicallyaccuratecheese]

Here is the third of the posts I'm making that detail my thoughts on every episode of The Magnus Archives. This post details my thoughts on episodes 31-40, the last episodes of Season 1. I've absolutely loved this final quarter, and documenting it has been a really fun (and kind of traumatizing but I'll get to that) experience.

Please keep in mind a few things before you read this.

1: This post is LONG. Like I mean LOOOOOONNNGG. If you read this all in one sitting, I will be both humbled and concerned for your wellbeing, so just...keep that in mind.

2: Obviously there will be spoilers for all of the first season, so if you haven't listened to that, steer clear. If you have listened ahead of Season 1, which I'm assuming most people reading this have, please don't spoil any future episodes for me :).

3: I recommend reading my posts on previous episodes before this one, as I will make reference to them a few times. There is a link to my masterpost of them above the cut. With that, enjoy! :)

- Episode 31, First Hunt 🦌

Statement of Lawrence Mortimer, regarding his hunting trip to Blue Ridge, Virginia.

Jonathan Sims is the only guy ever. The man walks into his office, probably sleep deprived and without any caffeine in his bloodstream, does the best impression of a jolly old English man he can muster for twenty minutes straight, sings his little heart out at one point, and then proceeds to call the story about someone being hunted bullshit while he stares at the ceiling in dread of the evil sex worms hunting him. Btw, I will admit that last bit was a little annoying. Usually I’m fine with Jon calling statements dumb, as I think it adds to the loser old man twink vibe I get from him, but when he straight up sees a similarity between one paranormal occurrence and another, and one or said occurrences is haunting him in real time, his denial just came off as kind of frustrating, especially considering how he usually does pick up on connections between statements. Ok enough about Jon (I just love/affectionately hate him so much I’m sorry), more about the actual story. Well firstly, the portrayal of America was genuinely kind of perfect. I’m glad that more people around the world are able to learn about the horrors of The Appalachian Trail. (These specific horrors don’t get the sparkles, they’re just that fucked up.) I did also really like the whole role reversal with animals hunting humans, it oddly reminds me of some of the themes in Episode 30, but the flavor and execution is very different. I do also wonder if the presence of a lycanthrope somehow connects to the vampires in Episode 10, since I usually group those two monsters specifically. And much like the vampires, I actually really liked how the lycanthrope was portrayed here, it had a lot more intelligence than the average werewolf, where the human and animal forms are usually entirely different minds. Also, it not being able to die was…genuinely really fucking scary with the way it was described. And while I do have a distaste for hunting, I did genuinely feel pretty bad for Lawrence and Arden, neither of them deserved what happened to them. Finally, there’s the ending of the episode, which was…yikes. It’s genuinely quite shaking to see Jon this terrified, like he’s really started to realize how bad things are getting. I always love seeing him outside of when he’s reading statements, and I just UGH I WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT YOOOOUUU. Honestly that’s probably my only kind of big frustration with the podcast. I mean, I still love the statements obviously, and they’re clearly working hard in the world-building and foreshadowing department, so it’s hardly affecting my enjoyment, but episodes like Colony and A Distortion are some of my favorites in the show so far, and it just makes me want to see more of what’s going on at the institute, and what the people who work there are like. Hopefully more episodes like those ones will show up soon, as I’d like the season to end on a special note. Well, aside from that, this was a very solid episode, and given the title of the next episode…well, I think my wishes will be granted soon. (JANE PRENTISS STATEMENT SAVE ME!!!)

I just realized that I’m basically writing my own statements here whoa.

- Episode 32, Hive 🐝

Statement of Jane Prentiss, regarding a wasps’ nest in her attic.

….The Jane Prentiss statement saved me, but NOT IN THE WAY I WANTED IT TO. (LIKE, IT WAS PHENOMENAL, MIGHT JUST BE MY NEW FAVORITE, BUT FUUUUUCCCKK.) Firstly, I think part of what made this statement so amazing was how it was framed. This is definitely the most cryptic story so far, valuing symbolism over a concise structure, but I actually felt like that worked perfectly here. Since Jane is practically deteriorating while writing this, it feels like she’s contemplating things we couldn’t even imagine. While also being aware of the true horrors she has now become witness and host to. And mentioning the symbolism, MY GOD IS IT GOOD. The Flesh Hive (and no, I’m not calling it the sex worms anymore, that ship has sailed) in particular is such an interesting concept, I mean, it’s more of a concept incarnate than any other horror so far. The way it reflects the metaphorical hive, the insect ecosystem that exists all around us, which in turn reflects a sort of toxic codependency and need to be loved, which is also reflected through Jane, and it all ends up as a combination between the concept of love and disgusting insects, it’s just, UGH I LOVE IT SO MUCH. On top of that, this is absolutely my favorite of Jonny Sims’ performances so far. He captured Jane, along with her shift into becoming a part of The Flesh Hive extremely well, but also mixes it with the genuine terror that Jon is feeling. Speaking of which, while it was certainly cathartic to see Jon admit that what’s happening is very real and very paranormal, it was also very terrifying in its own right. Either something very weird is happening in the archives (I mean, obviously SOMETHING is weird but Jon could be…well, he certainly isn’t normal, but, like, he doesn’t have to be PARAnormal, you know?), or, Jon has had some VERY weird experiences in his past, which I think is more likely. What they are, I don’t know, but I think they’re something similar to this, considering how he said that something in the statement had gotten to him. (Stay safe my poor little meow meow babygirl-) As for the story outside of just themes, I don’t have much to say honestly, it was still fantastic, just very simple due to the abstract nature of the episode. All I’ll say is that it was obviously terrifying, and I feel really bad for Jane. I don’t care if she was canonically “toxic” or whatever, she still deserved better than what happened to her, and the level of emotional distress she was in was absolutely chilling. (On the bright side though she kind of slays as an evil worm lady but I digress.) Anyways, the last thing I have to talk about is theories, because MY GOD, this gave me quite a bit to work with. (This is becoming a massive wall of text so I’m going to make a cut.)

Firstly, I think it’s time to go back to my theory about cults and higher powers. There’s been at least one instance of a cult via The People’s Church of The Divine Host, but due to characters like Gerard Keay, the other guy in the hospital, Sarah Baldwin, potentially The Lukas Family, potentially Jurgen Leitner, likely The Circus of The Other, and more, I feel like there are multiple cults and multiple higher powers, potentially at odds with each other given what happens in Episode 12. And I think this applies to this episode, as Jane was a practicing witch, and The Flesh Hive seems to be some kind of higher power as well. I think other higher powers might be The Anglerfish, the growing darkness, something associated with eyes, maybe “Micheal”, and some other potential candidates. Overall it does feel like the podcast is leaning towards the eldritch kind of horror (which is my absolute jam btw), so I hope I’m right in my assumptions. As for what these higher powers may want, I feel like maybe they’re…punishing humanity for their hubris? Like, I know that assumption might sound like it’s coming from someone who can only view these sorts of things from a religious perspective, but hear me out, because you have episodes like Do Not Open, Alone, Lost Johns’ Cave, Confession and Desecrated Host, Freefall, Skintight, First Hunt, and even this one with how Jane is practicing witchcraft, where characters who are comfortable in situations that many would find scary, and are then scared while in that situation. The only possible exception is in Arachnophobia, where Carlos is already scared of what he’s haunted by, but you could argue that he was being punished for a potential curiosity with spiders he had when he was younger. So yeah, those are some small thoughts I had about how some of this all ties together, but I had a couple of other small observations as well. Firstly, the presence of spiders in Jane’s attic. She implies that they exist separately from The Flesh Hive, so I do wonder if they tie into what happened in Episode 16 at all, especially considering that the worms were in fact mentioned there. Secondly, there’s her mention of “fools chasing fractals”. If that doesn’t tie into Episode 8 with Ivo’s father, I don’t know what does. Thirdly, her landlord was smoking a cigarette, which just reminds me of everything involving The Anglerfish (although I checked to see if he was mentioned in Ep. 1 like Sarah and no, he wasn’t.) And fourthly, one that was mentioned in the YouTube comments, Antonio from Ep. 11 was said to be working at a Crystal shop, had a somewhat similar experience where his mind was directly connected to ✨the horrors✨over a long period of time, and was also under a fake name. They said that maybe this would explain why that one guy looked at her sadly, maybe he was “Antonio” and knew what was going on, and while I’m not 100% sold on the idea, I thought it was interesting.

So…yeah. That was…an experience. Suffice to say, I am terrified. I’m terrified of Jane, for Jane, for Jon, for The Institute, and for my sanity as I delve deeper into the never ending rabbit hole that is The Magnus Archives. (I have 168 episodes left, Christ.) This episode is phenomenal, and there’s probably a lot I didn’t even talk about but…I think I’m going to lie down now, maybe get an exterminator contact ready just in case…auuughhhh.

- Episode 33, Boatswain’s Call ⛴️

Statement of Carlita Sloane, regarding her work on a container ship traveling from Porto do Itaqui to Southampton.

Oh thank god some time to breathe after last episode. I mean…not really, but you know what I mean. I’ll start off with what is the obvious highlight of the episode: TIM!!! I said earlier that I feel like he has bastard energy, and I was…kind of right about that? He’s nicer than I expected though. As for whether I love or hate him…yeah I’m leaning towards loving him, he’s fun :). Also, I absolutely love how they retconned errors in previous episodes at the beginning, that’s super funny and a really clever workaround to discrepancies. But how about the statement? Well, I will start with my one slight critique, that being that this is one of the least scary episodes for me so far. Which like, I feel like Rusty Quill knows that, since Jon outright says there’s nothing really paranormal here, but it’s ultimately whatever. Still though, the atmosphere here was really well done, the whole vibe of a creepy boat was captured very well through the writing, no outright big scares in the episode, but it did a very good job keeping me on edge. One of the moments that did genuinely make me pretty damn scared was when Carlita was digging through the shipping containers, and was then called out to the lifeboat by the rest of the crew. As someone with a very deep fear of being caught doing something people don’t want me to do, (even though my cowardly ass would never even bother), that certainly made me feel really uneasy, even though she was fine in the end. There’s not a whole lot to say here honestly, other than a few observations and theories. Firstly, I’m really glad we got some more insight into The Lukas Family! Episode 13 is still a favorite for me, so it’s nice to see connections to it showing up. This episode didn’t really reveal that much, other than that they help fund the institute, which like, is good way to keep them from investigating the weird shit the family seems to get up to honestly. And given the presence of the fog, as well as the overarching theme of isolation present with them, if I didn’t think they were responsible for what happened in Episode 13 already, I absolutely think so now. I also do really think that Evan was a family traitor of some kind, since he was very social, which opposes what the family seems to stand for. Lastly, I’ll mention my thoughts on Sean Kelly. I definitely believe that the crew of The Tundra killed him, but I also wonder if he was responsible for what was making the crew so antisocial, as that would explain why they started acting social after his death. It also makes me wonder whether or not I’m supposed to believe that the captain was involved or not….hm. Overall a good episode, I liked it, but there’s not much more to say on it.

Ok there is actually one other thing I did actually notice in retrospect. It’s very interesting to me that despite this being arguably the LEAST paranormal statement so far, despite the connections to The Lukas Family, Jon still seems very certain that something is weird here, more than he usually is. It really feels like everything with Jane has given him a new perspective…I’m scared…

- Episode 34, Anatomy Class 🍎

Statement of Dr. Lionel Elliot, regarding a series of events that took place during his class, ‘Introduction to Human Anatomy and Physiology’ at King’s College, London. Statement taken direct from subject.

So, fun fact, before I really got into TMA, this was one of the episodes I had heard mentioned here and there, and I knew nothing about it, other than the fact that people really seemed to like it. And now that I’ve finally listened to it myself, I can absolutely see why. Firstly, I’ll start off a bit by talking about Dr. Elliot, as I thought he was a pretty interesting character. I just kind of liked his general vibe, and his voice actor did a fantastic job at selling how distraught he was by the experience, although it does make me hope he’ll be ok after everything that happened to him. I also loved his conversation with Jon at the beginning (he’s awesome for respecting the tape recorder btw), and while it is a bit of a shame to see Jon go back to not really believing a case that much, I still felt like it was decently justifiable here, as the evidence admittedly isn’t the best. (Also his reaction to the apple was fantastic lmao.) But as for the actual statement, I agree with the common sentiment that it was…kind of cute? Like, don’t get me wrong, it is still a damn scary scenario. The weird shit the students get up to, the fact they are very clearly not human, their general vibe, and the implication that they killed a professor who failed to teach them are all horrifying, but…I don’t know, there’s some very real charm to this one as well. Like, even though their motives for wanting to seem more human are probably more sinister than this, I do like to imagine that they’re just wanting to relate to humans, so they decided to…enroll in college I guess. Like, if Dr. Elliot vibed with them more, this could have spun off into a very fun, slightly morbid college comedy. I do also love how genuinely polite they were as well, like, all of this considered, I absolutely get why people love this episode, it’s just genuinely very creative and a lot of fun. As for theories, honestly I don’t have that many, although someone in the YouTube comments (which by the way, I REALLY need to thank everyone there for being very resistant to spoiling, it means a whole lot for new listeners like myself), stated that there were some odd similarities between certain things that happened in this episode, and some of the stuff found in the bags in Episode 5. It makes me wonder if all of the bin bags contained discarded research materials being used by the students (which actually makes the art student jokes people were making in the comments even funnier in retrospect), and if the “him” Alan Parfitt came across was one of the students. Oh, and all of the bone imagery kind of reminds me of Episode 17 as well, and the teeth stuff kind of reminds me of Episode 10 (maybe the anatomy students are vampires…hm.) Outside of that, this was just a really fun and great episode, and I hope that Dr. Elliot comes back in the future just to see where this potential plot line could go.

- Episode 35, Old Passages 🔨

Statement of Harold Silvana, regarding discoveries made during the renovation of the Reform Club, Pall Mall.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH I’M SCARED!!!!!!! Man, this final quarter has been REALLY solid so far, like, the fact that Hive, Anatomy Class, and now this are so close together is genuinely stunning. Once again, there is QUITE a bit to unpack here, so I’ll take it one step at a time. I’ll start by talking about the elements of the episode that are…less brainrot inducing, as that’s easiest to discuss. Firstly, I remember that Sasha mentioned a “Harold Silvana” case back in Episode 24, so it’s really cool to see that brought back here! But moving on from that neat little tidbit, I’ll start talking about the actual statement. Yeah this one was just really creepy. The story itself was a bit shorter than other statements, but it still did a good job at creating dread. The hallways underneath the club were genuinely very unnerving, and it was also sad to see Alfred die, I thought that Harold’s comment about there being little to no one to remember him was pretty depressing. I also do wonder if the reason the members of The Reform Club didn’t want the architects to get involved with it any further was because they were aware of the hallways, and maybe making use of the strange forces down there. I mean, it just feels kind of fitting to have a high society like faction be involved in some shady business, you know? Also, I noticed that Jon’s vocal delivery of Harold was quite in line with his usual voice, which just makes me feel like they would get along if they met, idk. But honestly, while I think that the basic plot of this episode is still good, it PALES in comparison to the amount of connections it provides. Firstly, Jurgen Leitner. This fucking guy. You know what, I think the guy who made the rant about him was right, why DOES he have so many fucked up books? I…genuinely don’t know what to think of this guy. On one hand, his irritable nature that’s displayed here, and his desire to have all of this dangerous literature do raise some red flags, but it’s also possible that he only wishes to keep these books safe from those who would use them from bad purposes, as there’s no real record of him doing anything bad with them. Still though…he unnerves me, but it was cool to finally have him actually appear in a statement. Secondly, GERARD KEAY LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOO. I don’t even KNOW where this guy stands morally, but I just get happy whenever this weird little emo man shows up and I don’t know why. Anyways, I…think that this helps piece the timeline surrounding him together…a bit. What I can say for certain is that the Leitner he got here is the same one Mary Keay uses in Episode 4 (which might also be The Boneturner’s Tale, but I doubt it since that one revolves around bending already existing bones, while this one is about creating new ones), so it must have come into her hands some time after this episode. But outside of that, all of the things this episode did that surrounded him was just make me more intrigued, honestly. After Episode 12, I started to think that he was against some evil forces, like his mother and the other guy in the hospital, but that he probably still served his own forces (given the creepy eye symbolism, which I do believe is evil given the church in Episode 20 and the crypt in Episode 23), so he comes off as kind of an anti-villain to me. And this episode didn’t really change that, although I do question his motives for grabbing the Leitner. He’s seemingly been established to have a negative relationship with his mother as an adult, but given that he was younger here, I wonder if they were on better terms in the past, and he actually gave the Leitner to her out of his own will before a potential fall out. Eh, food for thought, I just think he’s really neat. (Making a cut because this is very long now.)

Thirdly, we have Robert Smirke. Firstly, I checked and he was indeed a real person! I’m very glad to see the podcast slightly demonize a British Museum architect, that feels deserved honestly. Ok, I say demonize because this guy built a bunch of terrifying hallways, but granted he could be good idk. Assigning characters strict moral alignments at this point is pretty hard tbh. Anyways, I don’t have that much to say about Smirke himself, other than that I think he was definitely involved with at least one of the major cults we’ve seen, and that he might have ties to some of the recurring creepy churches we’ve seen so far. …I might have to check if the real person actually worked on Hither Green Chapel or not, just in case. What does concern me is the hallways. Obviously, thirteen is a bad sign (I know it’s technically fourteen but like you get the idea, it’s framed as thirteen in the script when the architects enter the central room), but someone in the comments pointed out odd similarities between the hallways and previous episodes. Ones that stood out to me was one that was described as entirely dark, another with cobwebs in it, and the first corridor, which was described in an EERILY similar manner to Lost Johns’ Cave. I don’t know, it very well might just be me going insane, but I feel like the passages here are meant to reprisent certain…feelings throughout the series. Maybe not more sentient entities like, for example, The Anglerfish, but like, I could see a corridor similar to the weird foggy graveyard from Episode 13, or the dreams from Episode 11. Basically I think the passages are meant to connect to the more environmental horrors we’ve seen so far. It’s just…AGH THIS PODCAST IS DRIVING ME INSANE AND I’M BARELY COHERENT ANYMORE. Ok, I’ll wrap things up with some brief comments on the ending. Oh dear god the ending. Firstly, is it wrong that Jon’s surprise at the worms in his office made me jump more than anything else in the show so far? Like, considering how terrifying these statements are…that just feels like a disservice from me to the writers and directors, Idk. But secondly (ignoring the worms because I’ve gone on long enough about them)…Breekon and Hope…hi….oh no. They…they were very creepy…I’m guessing they’re twins because they’re very Shining-core to me….and considering that they are the same men who showed up in Episode 2 (or at least prominent to the delivery company those men were a part of)….I do not like the idea of them giving a package to Jon. Needless to say I do not want Jon to open that package. I think that is a bad idea. And I do not like how they encouraged Martin to turn off the recording. I…I think I’m going to go to bed now…

Speaking of bed, I’m sorry if this one wasn’t very coherent lmao. I’m just really tired right now and…yeah this podcast is pulling me into a very deep rabbit hole that I do not think I was prepared for as I thought I would be. Well, anyways, hopefully my incoherency at the very least makes it clear how insane I am about this episode. (Oh also I checked and no, Robert Smirke did not work on Hither Green Chapel, but I still find his work on churches interesting…)

- Episode 36, Taken Ill ✋

Statement of Nicole Baxter, regarding visits culminating in the fire that consumed Ivy Meadows Care Home in Woodley, Greater Manchester.

Unlike last episode, which is just making my brain spiral until it turns to goo, this one was definitely a bit more digestible. That being said…AAAAGUHFGHHGGHHHHHJJJJKKKKKKKKKNGDFGHHJJBFFHHJJNN!!!! I am in LOVE with how everything is coming together, it’s just, UGH it’s so satisfying! The amount of recurring elements, the fact that so many theories and bits of foreshadowing are being validated, it’s just…YES! I LOVE THIS PODCAST SO FUCKING MUCH AND I’M BOTH EXCITED AND TERRIFIED FOR THE END OF THE SEASON! JANE IS COMING HOME BITCHES!!!! Ok…sorry I just needed to get that out of my system, now I’ll talk about this depressing ass statement. Because yes, this one was really messed up! Seeing such a lovely sweet place where the people were able to find community even in their somewhat dire circumstances get absolutely torn apart by an even more terrifying version of death from rot and illness, which already majorly affects the elderly in real life….yeah it was upsetting! I mean, it was good, fantastic storytelling as always but DAMN. Also as someone who does have quite a notable fear of just…generally gross shit, this one did hit home quite a bit. The part where it’s implied Nicole cut off her own hand due to the constant pestilence coming back to haunt her (which did actually remind me of the history of the house on Hill Top Road, as well as the ghost spider…hm…), was genuinely kind of hard to stomach. Honestly the only thing about this episode that WASN’T terrifying was the humor of Nicole’s uncle keeping his estranged partner’s name in his business out of spite. That was actually very funny. So yeah, overall a very terrifying statement, but what about…✨the connections✨ (yeah they get the sparkles as well, who are you to judge). So starting with the obvious, the similarities to The Flesh Hive and Jane Prentiss. I do indeed think that the mysterious force here is either the same thing or something VERY adjacent to The Flesh Hive (but also the yellow shit in Episode 18), and that this episode 100% confirms that Jane isn’t being controlled or anything, but is dead, and the hive is just controlling her body now (which like, was already pretty obvious, but this just confirms it to me.) However, one thing that concerns me about these similarities more than anything else is John Amherst. From my point of view, it was implied that Mr. Amherst was consciously responsible for the spread of the illness, which is in stark contrast to Jane, who only started spreading her worms due to her infection and loss of sanity. This makes me thing that maybe John was somehow involved in getting the hive to absorb Jane, but really who knows? I do admittedly think it would be more interesting if Jane was chosen by the hive itself, but still, I think it would be interesting if her apotheosis was a part of some greater plot. Another thing that ties to Jane that I’m kind of curious about is Nicole’s opening words about fear, which Jon compares to Jane’s statement. It just got me thinking about some other theories which then made me think…what if the eldritch horrors that seem to be behind everything, the things that all of the cults worship, are meant to represent different fears. What if that’s what the different passages in Episode 35 represent (so like, claustrophobia for the first passage, and then stuff like the dark, falling and spiders for other ones.) This theory still needs a LOT of time to flesh itself out, but I’ll put a list of what I think some of the eldritch forces are after I write about the rest of the episode. I might be crazy, but given how “fear” is reoccurring throughout as a theme, more so than a lot of other horror, I have to wonder about this.

Ok, another thing that rattled my brain was…TREVOR THE FUCKING TRAMP? I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD? At first I thought he and his companion might be The Fairchilds from Episode 21, but the reveal of his actual identity was a complete shock. Not that I’m complaining though, he’s one of my favorite statement givers so far. Either way, I’m very curious about his presence here, as well as the identity of his companion, and what role they might serve in the plot. Considering that it’s implied they burnt down the care home, and that Trevor hunts vampires for a living, I feel like these guys are probably trying to combat the horrors, but much like Gerard, I wonder if it’s for entirely moral purposes. And finally we have the ending. Oh boy the ending. I know I’m always saying “this is terrifying” or “the archives are in deep shit now” or something along those lines like…whenever ANYTHING relevant happens at the institute, but like, can you blame me? This is mortifying, I do not want my favorite workplace comedy cast to end up in grave danger, and yet I have to cope with the fact that they probably already are. So, the lighter isn’t the most concerning thing ever, I mean, the spider web pattern is interesting, and given the prominence of cigarettes (as well as Gerard’s lighter in Episode 12), I know I should be suspicious about it. But honestly? I’m more concerned about the table. Because…of course I am. I don’t know what this table does, I just know that it is creepy, that anything Breekon and Hope deliver is bad news, that the implication they gave it to Graham Folger is also terrifying, and that I do not like it’s presence in the artifact storage. Why I am I even saying this, of course I’m scared, you should already know that I am not prepared for whatever comes up in these last four episodes, and beyond. End recording or whatever the fuck.

Ok, so as promised here’s what I think some of ✨the horrors✨ are, and what episodes I think they might appear in

- The Anglerfish (1, 28)

- The Sky, I Guess (4, 21)

- The Flesh Hive (6, 22, 26, 32, 36, maybe 18)

- The War Incarnate? (7)

- Heat aligned entity, called Asag? (8, 12, 18, 20)

- The darkness (9, 15, 25)

- Eyes (4, 12, 20, 23)

- Something aligned with isolation (13, 33)

- Bone Thing (4, 14, 17, 35) (This could be the same thing as the sky due to their connection with Leitners)

- Spiders (16, 22, 32, 35, 36 via the lighter)

- MEAT (18, 30)

- Whatever The Circus of The Other serves (24)

- “Micheal” (26, maybe 8?)

- And then probably something I’m missing due to the 14 corridors

I excluded some things like shapeshifters and vampires, since they seem to be species, Breekon and Hope, The Keay and Lukas Familes, Jurgen Leitner, etc., because they all seem to be servants of ✨the horrors✨ rather than horrors themselves (although I do think “Micheal” is an exception based on vibes alone), stuff like the table and the coffin, which are more like creepy artifacts than anything else, and then other stuff like whatever was trying to get inside Paul McKenzie’s room, which I just don’t know enough about. But…yeah! The ideas are very scattered right now, but I feel like I’m slowly piercing together what the horrific forces of this world might be (on the assumption that’s what we’re dealing with here, which I see no reason not to honestly)

UPDATE: Ok so after some thought I’m not too sure about the idea of ✨the horrors✨ literally representing different types of fear. I think that could still be the case with the passages, but the things I presume to be eldritch beings (like whatever is behind all the bones), while obviously not devoid of themes, are just a bit too specific for this to work. I still think the things I listed are likely to be big bad eldritch horrors, I just think I was a little bit off with what I think they represent, and I need to rethink my steps. Also, this is all on the assumption that there is more than one big evil here. I think it’s likely due to a lot of Gerard’s dialogue in Episode 12, but yeah…this theory only works if another theory is also true. Either way, I do think that the podcast will really delve into fear as a concept, and the psychology behind it, as time goes on, based on themes alone. Ok I’ve talked long enough, on to episode 37.

- Episode 37, Burnt Offering 🍼

Statement of Jason North, regarding the discovery of an alleged ritual site found near Loch Glass in Scotland.

If there was any episode that proves a shorter one isn’t necessarily a worse one, it was absolutely this. Because while the statement is short, and comparatively simple compared to a lot of others, DAMN. I really liked this one. However, I’ll start simple with the stuff that happened outside the statement. Firstly, man…poor Jon. It’s been really interesting but also…really sad seeing his mental state deteriorate over the course of the season, and I hope that he’ll at least be able to get some rest at some point in the near future, although it does feel like a storm is going to come soon. I also found Martin’s scene here interesting as well, as you can tell that he’s still feeling nervous after what happened in Episode 22, and that things haven’t exactly gotten better. The other thing of note is the table, which…yeah, it’s still worrying. I don’t know WHAT this thing does, although I do think it’s interesting that it shows up in an episode that seems to involve the heat related entity from Episode 12 and the Hill Top Road statements. This is because I strongly suspect that the box Ivo found beneath the tree belonged was actually the missing piece of the table, so I feel as if maybe it connects to the heat entity. This might also mean that Graham’s stress could’ve been due to the heat, as well as the monster that stole his identity, although I do have to question where exactly this would fit in with Episode 12. Still though, this does all intrigue me. I also find it curious that the box Ivo found contained an apple with spiders inside (which also kind of brings back thoughts about Episode 34), and that the other thing Breekon and Hope brought to Jon was a lighter with a spiderweb design on it. I’m connecting the dots! (I’m not connecting shit, am I.) But as for the statement…yikes. This is up there with Jane’s statement as being one of the most visceral, one where you really understand the mental state of the author. Like, you can FEEL Jason’s pain here, and having him get genuinely angry with the institute at the beginning was kind of chilling. Obviously it’s not the first time that’s happened, but usually the people who got angry with the institute were ones giving statements live, while here, you hear that anger coming from Jon’s mouth and it’s…off. Also, can I just say that this guy got screwed over so badly? He literally just dropped a bottle of old milk on the ground, and then as punishment he had his entire life literally set ablaze, and had to kill himself to protect his 4-year old son. That’s genuinely like…so fucked up and it’s not even something I can joke about! Really the only thing I can joke about is the mention of Pine Martins being tiny and adorable, which to me is meant to say that Martin Blackwood is tiny and adorable (if that wasn’t already obvious to me.) God I love Martin so much….What was I talking about? Oh yeah,✨the horrors✨. So I guess the only thing left to talk about now is connections.

Well, as I stated earlier, I think the eldritch entity associated with heat that has likely appeared multiple times before appears here as well, obviously. And if Ep. 12 didn’t already give me suspicions, this one absolutely solidified that there is a cult serving this entity. It doesn’t say much about the history of the house on Hill Top Road or what was going on with the man in the hospital, but it’s interesting nonetheless. But of course, the most interesting thing here is the bottles with pictures of Gertrude Robinson in them. …Oh dear. Firstly, I learned that this scene was actually inspired by the experiences of a real person on an old Rusty Quill forum, which is really cool! But aside from that, I’m wondering…is this meant to tell us how Gertrude died? I initially thought her presence here was meant to tell me that she might have been more evil than I initially thought, but now I’m kind of wondering if she was against the cult that serves the heat, and they killed, or at the very least attempted to kill her via a ritual in the woods. And if that’s the case, why not do the same with Gerard, who also seemed to be against this cult? Unless the brain tumor was somehow caused by the cult? I. HAVE. SO. MANY. QUESTIONS!!!! There are three episodes of this season left….aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAA-

Unrelated side note: A thought that popped into my head earlier was that maybe Breekon and Hope were the people who stole the calliope organ in Episode 24. I mean, it seems in character based on what we know of them, and it did end up in artifact storage like the table…Also, I found Martin’s description of them really weird? Like, what do you MEAN they were normal, mother fuckers spoke like the twins from The Shining! AND WHO THE HELL IS ROSIE??!! Ok goodnight :).

- Episode 38, Lost and Found 🏺

Statement of André Ramao, regarding a series of misplaced objects lost over the course of three months.

Ok yes, the vase was absolutely a gaslighting homophobe, there, I SAID IT, ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?! (Ok but in all seriousness I think the fact everyone agrees this is the vase’s motivation is absolutely hilarious, if it ends up being canon I will laugh my ass off.) Anyways, enough humor, because things are SERIOUS now. I’ll give my overall thoughts on the statement first. Honestly, when you remove the absurd nature of what’s going on, this one was genuinely very visceral and heartbreaking. I’ve seen people say that this one is a commentary on the fear of losing things, and while I absolutely agree, the main takeaway I got was the commentary on materialism, and how if you place too much value on material possessions you will lose the things you truly cherish. I think you can really tell that through the way André treats his husband through the story. Like, he talks about getting into a fight with him, and being angry when he started trying to contact doctors, and while I’m sure there was obviously love there, I don’t think André realized how much his husband mattered to him until it was too late. It’s not the most subversive or complex metaphor of all time, but I still think it really works and that it’s pretty damn powerful. It hurts even more with how he does eventually get all of those material possessions back, but still loses his husband. And while I COULD complain about the show’s first somewhat prominent gay couple being buried, I know that’s it’s not because of their sexuality, but because it’s the fucking Magnus Archives, where no happiness is allowed. I also find it concerning that André knows the vase is still stealing things (…writing that down really puts into perspective how nutty this podcast can be), it makes me wonder if it might be in the artifact storage somewhere…oh no. Mentioning artifact storage, what about Mikaele Salesa? So, I checked to see if he appeared in any previous episodes, and he did, back in Episode 14! Unfortunately, that doesn’t really give us much information on him outside of his appearance, but it does prove to me that he’s at least somewhat important. I will say that he really did remind me a lot of Breekon and Hope, which does make me wonder if there’s a connection between them. The only thing that I found to be a very notable difference is that Mikaele has some level of fear towards ✨the horrors✨, while Breekon and Hope seem do be in direct service of them. That doesn’t necessarily make Mikaele a good person, I mean, I definitely think that he knew about the vase, but just pretended not to to save his own skin, but he might not be like…an evil mastermind that wants to spread ✨the horrors✨ wherever he goes, which I get the vibe of from a lot of other characters. But outside of that, there were a good few odd similarities to other episodes. I found it interesting that the war-related items in Mikaele’s warehouse were from The American Revolution and World War 1 respectively, as those are the wars that the only war-related episodes so far have taken place in (those being 7 and 29.) I also definitely think that Mikaele had Leitners in his possession, and I felt like the description of the vase’s pattern was very similar to that of the table, which should be more relevant than ever. Some other things that the vase reminded me of was the impersonator from Episode 3, what with the way that it successfully gaslights everyone aside from the statement giver and…debatably the archival staff, although I don’t think they count since as far as I’m concerned none of them were directly involved with the events of these statements. I initially thought that the creepy hand was supposed to be David, but someone in the YouTube comments said that it could be the same hand from Episode 15, which is….concerning, given how scary that one was. I do wonder if that means this statement connects back to The People’s Church of The Divine Host though, since I felt like that was involved with Episode 15. But with all of that out of the way, there’s the end of the episode. I am hyperventilating so bad.

So yeah….Jane came home I guess. I’m…very interested to see whatever happens in the next episode. All I know is that I’m absolutely in what you’d consider the season finale now. I do have a couple of thoughts here, outside of just being terrified. Because obviously, the way that Jon just smashed that spider is very similar to the events of Episode 16, which brings multiple concerns. Firstly, I initially thought that Jon’s decision to kill it was a bit stupid given his knowledge of that statement, but then I remembered that it was almost as if an external force was compelling Carlos Vittery to kill that spider, so I assume the same thing happened to Jon. And if so….please don’t wrap my boy’s corpse up in webs :(. Secondly, since the killing of the spider causes the worms to conveniently burst in, I wonder if that was why the mysterious force was compelling Carlos to kill the spider. I mean, the worms WERE in his apartment, so maybe killing the ghost spider (which I assume is the same one we see here) is somehow capable of summoning the worms, meaning that….Carlos Vittery could be a part of The Flesh Hive?! Or at least there was an attempt to make that happen like with Harriet Lee? …Sometimes the connections really make my brain melt. And finally, I’m now wondering if the reason as to why the spider even showed up was due to the lighter Jon received from Breekon and Hope, since it had a spiderweb design on it. I mean, they obviously have a knack for giving people things that lures ✨the horrors✨ to them, so I would not be that surprised if this theory ends up being correct. (Also, if Jon was to set the worms on fire with the very same lighter that might have summoned them to him…that would be a massive power move that would make me very happy.) But more than anything, this just gets me thinking even more about that damn table. WHY IS IT HERE? IS IT GOING TO SUMMON THE HEAT TO GET RID OF THE WORMS? DOES THAT MAKE BREEKON AND HOPE A NEUTRAL PARTY IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS? AM I EVER GOING TO GET ANSWERS?! …..I’m not prepared for this season finale.

do you think this is what the vase looked like

- Episode 39, Infestation 🧯

Original recording of Jane Prentiss’ attack upon The Magnus Institute, London.

WHAT?! WHAT THE FUCK?! WHO IN THEIR RIGHT FUCKING MINDS DECIDED THAT YOU CAN JUST END THE EPISODE LIKE THAT?! LIKE, IN RETROSPECT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN OBVIOUS THAT THE SEASON FINALE WOULD BE A TWO-PARTER BUT GOOOOOOOODD!!!! So fun fact, I was so scared going in to this episode that I took two days off listening to mentally prepare myself, and even after that…THIS ONE SCARED ME MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE!!! Did I like it? Absolutely! It’s at the very least in my top 4 episodes, in fact, I think it might only be barely beaten by Episode 32, and it’s very close competition. As someone who’s really liked all of the stuff that happens in the institute, and with the institute staff, this episode was a dream come true, and with the way things are being set up, I’m really excited by the prospect of there being more episodes like this in the future seasons. But…jfc. This is….a LOT. Now, due to the fact that this episode is structured very differently than anything else before it, and because I have so much to say, I’m just going to dedicate different paragraphs to a specific recording each, so I can make my thoughts clear and concise. Starting with…

The second recording. Look, the first one is basically a bunch of chaotic screaming and worms, I don’t know what else you would expect me to say. So the first thing I want to address is that we finally get to see members of the archival staff interacting as a group. I already did feel like their comments on one another give a good look at their dynamic, but it was nice to see it in person, despite the horrific and perilous situation they’re in :). But what are some other things. Well, even though this is shown in later recordings in the episode, I’ll just put it here that I really like how Martin is characterized here. The scene with him in Episode 37, as well as most of his scenes here really do show a new level of confidence and just flesh him out really nicely. There’s some morbid humor in him carrying around a corkscrew to get rid of the worms, and…yeah! I just really like him, he’s definitely one of my favorite characters so far. The main beef of this recording however is the stuff we get from Jon. Not only is the overarching theme of the episode, that being the desire to be remembered, conveyed really well through his dialogue here, but it felt like this scene came with some…nice closure, I guess. We’ve seen Jon become less and less skeptical as time goes on, especially in this final fourth of the season, but it felt really gratifying for him to just straight up admit that what’s happening is real. But there were also quite a couple of intriguing things that he said. Firstly is his comments about Gertrude. He makes the suggestion that she could potentially be alive, and while I doubt that due to her presence in Antonio’s dreams, and the fact that her supposed date of death was when The People’s Church of The Divine Host did a creepy ritual, it does just make me more curious about what truly happened to her. All things considered, I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that ghosts exist in this universe so…I don’t know, maybe we’ll see her come back in a way, but I don’t think she’s…entirely alive. The other curious thing was the reveal about the statements. We already knew that something prevented them from being uploaded to computers, but now we know that this only applies to statements that are real. This not only means that Jon has…basically no excuse at this point to be a skeptic, but that I am getting VERY curious about the tapes and the statements on a fundamental level. I’ll touch on it a bit more later, but it does feel like there’s more to the framing device of the podcast itself here than meets the eye, and it is EXCITING me. Anyways, on to the next recording. (I’m still just contemplating that THIS episode came after the homophobic vase one. Holy shit.)

Tim….please never die. I mean, I know it’s funny that I say that since he was VERY close to death here (and could still die in the next one but like…I doubt it because of the fact we already probably have one major death…I’ll touch on that later…), and also because I’ve only known him for two episodes but like…he’s so cool man I can’t help it. “Statement of Joe Spooky regarding sinister happenings” is by far the funniest line in the podcast so far, perfect for the season finale, and…I WAS SO WORRIED FOR HIM UAAAAAGGGHHH!!! Like, the death flags were hoisted HIGH, so I’m glad he survived this episode….even if it probably came at the expense of another character, unfortunately. Ok, I’ll get to that when I get to that. Really not much more to say here other than “Tim is funny and I’m scared”, although hey! It’s Jane! I mean it’s really cool to finally hear her voice but she had one line so I don’t know what else to add. Regardless, time for the kind of wholesome but also ominous as shit recording!

Look, while they are obviously still in peril, while there are certainly some very concerning implications here, while they are still arguing…this one was kind of nice. Obviously Jon and Martin are very different people, and are still quite a ways off from sorting out all of their differences, but…this was very nice. Considering how much Jon belittles Martin in early S1, having him talk to him like this, in a situation where they are both equals, it’s genuinely very gratifying, and probably the most earnest Jon has ever been, as well as the most confident Martin has ever been. Obviously I love it when Jon is a mean asshole and when Martin is just a little guy, but this felt like really good character development for both of them. But outside of that, the most interesting thing here is a look into Jon’s psyche, and why he acts a skeptical as he does. Firstly, the fact that he actually joined the institute due to a genuine belief in the paranormal does make me wonder…what the hell happened to him. I mean, the institute doesn’t seem like the most fun place to work at in the world, nor the most mainstream, so like…I’m getting a lot more curious about Jon’s past now, and the same goes for Martin’s, maybe even more since we learn even less about his reasons for joining the institute than with Jon, and more about his reasons for staying there after Jane forced him into hiding. But obviously, the most ominous thing to me here was how Jon said he felt like he was being…watched. This could mean…genuinely so many things, but to me, I felt like the meaning was a PERSONAL ATTACK. Like, it doesn’t HAVE to be, but given that the podcast already has some decent potential for meta elements, are…are they trying to say that I’M the one tormenting Jon?! Because, like…yeah, I have wanted to see him start admitting that the statements are real! And I have been watching him! (or I guess listening, but…shut up…) In fact, it’s especially damning for someone like me, because I don’t listen to TMA in the background or anything, I sit my ass down, stare at the screen and start taking notes. I…I don’t know where this whole thing will go but for now I’m offended. (But like, if this metaphor ends up being true that I must say…that is some BRILLIANT writing.) There was also Jane’s weird actions here, with how she was seemingly destroying statements and papers. This isn’t exactly surprising, after all, she did suggest that the reason The Flesh Hive wants Jon dead is because as an archivist, his job is to understand things, which the hive seemingly doesn’t want unless it opens its arms to someone directly (very finally fitting if I might add), but still…it’s curious to me. Considering how this whole recording gets you to think about what’s up with the statements, I feel like maybe The Flesh Hive knows a bit more than others do… Finally, we have the ghost conversation, which is really funny and a great character moment for Jon and especially Martin, but like…what if though…what if…

ELIAS BOUCHARD IS A SKETCHY ASS MAN. This guy has only shown up ONCE before this episode, and when he finally returns he is…unnervingly chill about the whole situation. Like, he is just…NOT concerned about the attack, he seems a tad bit too comfortable with the prospect of Jon and Martin dying via C02, and he’s just…he’s just really fucking sketchy. I can’t remember if I’ve stated it before, but from what we’ve seen and heard of him, I’ve always gotten the vibes that Elias knows a lot more than he lets on. Like, in the way that he’s been working at the institute long enough to know that there’s something really weird about it, (which btw, thinking about how weird the institute is does really get me thinking about it’s founding a lot more…my brain is melting…) and he wants to stay away from the weird shit as far as possible. Some suspicious things with him are his reluctance to antagonize The Lukas Family which is…understandable, I guess, if they help keep the institute around, but then there’s the fact that he clearly knows more about Gertrude than everyone else, but is being REALLY quiet about it, exemplified via what Jon says about him in Episode 11. And then there’s the fact that later on, Sasha mentions how he has a tendency to change the subject and…yeah…I don’t know how to feel about him. Honestly all I have to say about this recording corresponds with Elias, so I’ll just move on to the next one.

Ok, so since these recordings are pretty short, and Sasha’s last one is….woah…I’m just going to cover the last two that have Jon and Tim in them briefly here. As expected, Tim continues to be comedy gold. Him bursting through the wall and being super chill (and not in the creepy Elias way) was honestly just want I needed. I did NOT need him pulling…something off though, but…whatever. Also the reveal of Martin recording poetry was fantastic, I need that to be a spin-off ASAP. Magnus Protocol? Never heard of it. The men of the archives are the only men to ever exist and they all deserve their own show. Anyways, after Tim completes his re-enactment of The Shining, they head into the tunnels (which I did not know were a thing), and I get scared yet again. I…am very concerned for Martin, I do not like how he ran off, and I do not like the noises that play at the end of the episode. That is all I have to say here. This is an absolutely terrifying way to end the episode, but it is frustrating in the best way, and if I wasn’t shaking as I write this I would have immediately jumped to the next episode. But…there is one other scene, one that honestly, would’ve worked just as well, if not BETTER, as an ending to the episode. That is, of course, the one scene that has terrified me more than anything else in the podcast so far. The scene that stars:

That. Mother. Fucking. Table. I thought it was at least…somewhat safe. I thought that it would tie into…Hill Top Road, or something, that it would just be something for Jon to glean some information from later on! But I was a fool. I should’ve known that the Anatomy Class shenanigans were (probably) foreshadowing. I should’ve known that the GOD DAMN IMPERSONATOR WAS COMING BACK. JON! WHY DIDN’T YOU DESTROY IT YOU VICTORIAN BUFFOON?! I’m…I’m fucking shook man. I might have been fearful for Tim but…for a split second there, I thought everyone would make it out alive. I mean, we’ve seen Sasha in like, what, three episodes before this, and she only starred in one? She had to live so that we’d see more of her! But no…I got completely blindsided. Sasha James, this really cool character who I wanted to see succeed after her encounter with Bonyhands McGee, is most likely dead. It might sound like I’m genuinely upset with the decision, and while I’m absolutely sad and terrified, I do think they can go really interesting places with this. I mean, I’m going on the assumption that what happened to her is what happened to Graham Folger in Episode 3, meaning that we know have something impersonating her, meaning that she could be explored even after her presumed death. On top of that, like…what if the effect of no one recognizing a difference between the OG Graham and the “Not Graham” applies to Sasha! Because if so, this could be a genius example of having characters figure out something long after the audience being done really well! But overall…I’m mortified. As cool as these prospects are, there’s still a glimmer of hope in me that Sasha survives, that the archival team can deal with that fucking table as soon as possible. Which, by the way, I’m genuinely mad at myself for not catching on to that at first. I initially thought that the table had nothing to do with the main plot of Episode 3, outside of maybe increasing Graham’s paranoia, and that it was meant to foreshadow future events that tied into…idk, the house on Hill Top Road, given the box inside the tree. But nope! Apparently wherever the table goes, the impersonator follows! And if she is dead…man, I don’t know whether or not it’s a good thing that the thing she was afraid of dying from was not the one that killed her in the end… Outside of that, I mean, yeah, artifact storage was creepy as all hell, Sasha’s monologue made me go through five different emotions in the span of like…two minutes, and that one part, holy shit that one part. Hearing that weird noise, Sasha’s scream, and then a new voice repeating her last words it’s…uggghjhehehehjejejejjewjjekekwkekkdkwkekek. Wow, I hate this! I mean, I love it, but wow, I hate this! I mean, I love it, but wow, I hate this! I mean, I love it, but wow, I hate this! I mean, I love it, but wow, I hate this! I mean, I-

So..yeah. Good episode…I guess. I’m really scared. For everyone, Sasha especially. For everything, my sanity especially. I do not like the name of that season finale, it’s looking at me funny. I….I…I think I’m just going to go saw my foot off or something, maybe that’ll take my mind off of things. See you for the season finale! :,)

- Episode 40, Human Remains 🩹

Statements of Elias Bouchard, Tim Stoker, Sasha James, Martin Blackwood and Jonathan Sims, regarding the infestation of the Magnus Institute by the entity formerly known as Jane Prentiss. Statements taken direct from subjects.

*Sigh*. I have listened to 40 episodes of this god-forsaken, trauma inducing podcast. I have stayed up at night wildly speculating about the connections between episodes, trying to solve the greater mystery. And for what? Well, I regret to inform you that, in the end, it was all for…A FANTASTIC SEASON FINALE. HOLY SHIT I’M SO EXCITED TO LISTEN TO SEASON 2 YOU HAVE NO IDEA. I mean, I’m obviously terrified, what with the amount of setup here, the cold realization that ✨the horrors✨ are somehow just going to affect the main cast more and more in the future, and…so much more, but WOW. This finale absolutely delivered and if I wasn’t already on board to see how the rest of the podcast plays out, I absolutely NEED to know now. So, like with last time, I’m going to divide my thoughts via the multiple parts this episode is divided into, so I’ll be going over each person’s statement. And let me tell you…there is some stuff to discuss. Starting off with my favorite(?) enigmatic CEO, Elias Bouchard!

So yeah, Elias is still sketchy as fuck. Oddly enough, despite this being the most time spent with him so far, which don’t get me wrong, I’m really happy about, but…yeah, I still don’t trust him all that much. I guess I’ll start off by talking about some of the general information revealed here. So firstly, no one’s really doing all that well! I mean, it’s expected, but still, I feel really bad for everyone here. You can tell in the opening how scarred Jon is by what happened (both mentally and physically)…which makes Elias’ relative chillness all the more strange. Also, while it is once again pretty obvious, I would just like to pay some respects to the absolute queen that was Jane Prentiss. Rest in relative peace Jane, I hope you’re getting people to join the hive in…well not heaven, she’s probably gone to superhell, but…yeah. Still kind of sad she only got one line from her own mouth. But back to Elias, there are two things he said that really came off as…like, especially odd. Firstly is how he said he got tired of what Jon was saying about the statements. This is weird because like…that’s his job? That Elias hires him to do? It really does add to the vibe that he knows of ✨the horrors✨, but is actively trying to avoid them as much as possible. It feels like they’re setting up an interesting parallel between him and Jon, who looks like he’s going to really start connecting the dots in Season 2. It also just kind of made me think about the implications of something…watching Jon, and it wanting him to admit the statements are real, since Elias seems to specifically be annoyed by Jon’s recent lack of doubt, at least in my eyes. But the other thing that really unnerved me here was what he had to say about Gertrude. His reluctance to talk about her death is one thing, but the fact that he says he found the blood-covered office on March 15, when in Episode 25 Jon says she was declared dead on May 15, is…just really strange. It could be a discrepancy on the writer’s part but…I don’t know, it feels like one of them has to be wrong here. And either way, since they retconned past discrepancies in the opening of Episode 33, they could absolutely work with that here. So yeah, not much more to add other than that I don’t trust Elias.

Poor Tim :(. The guy has been so funny and chipper in all of his past appearances, but here you could feel how beat down he was. After getting worms in his skin and having to spend more time in quarantine simply for being funny, this guy just can’t catch a break! I mean, I’m happy he’s alive, because I was genuinely very scared for his life in the last episode but…man, his last words in this episode really did sting. Anyways, the main takeaway from this statement is the info on the tunnels. This is…really creepy and I’m sure we’ll get a deeper look into it in Season 2, as this whole episode feels full of setup for what’s to come very soon, but for now they are just a very strange place. The way their ancient architecture is described, the worms’ behavior down there, and the…door they were trying to form? What else is even in there? Hell, is this why The Flesh Hive really wanted to attack the institute? To discover some secret in the tunnels? I don’t know, but I care a LOT.

No no no no no no no no no no no no no NO! THE WORST HAS COME TO PASS! The chances of her survival was slim, but I had the smallest sliver of hope that she would survive, but NO! Sasha’s gone UUUUUUUUAAAAAAAGGGHHH!!!! What makes it so much worse is that WE KNOW, we’ve heard Sasha’s original voice, we’ve gotten a sense of her general vibe, the new her has creepy music in the background whenever she speaks, HER NAME IS LITERALLY “NOT!SASHA” IN THE FUCKING CREDITS. But Jon, Tim, Martin, they don’t! They don’t know, and I’ll be stuck having to watch them hang out with a monster that killed their friend for who knows how long! It’s excellent storytelling but GOOOOOD I’M SO SAD. And Not!Sasha herself, I mean…holy shit. She’s absolutely uncanny and terrifying, the fact that her tone and vibe are so noticeably different from the real Sasha, how she always responds with a “yes” to Jon, how she points out extremely obvious things, how she just…seems unfamiliar with things she should know about, just everything, it’s just so fucking scary! She’s just so..matter of fact, she’s like a robot in comparison to the real person. Honestly, her manner of speech is very in line with how I imagined the anatomy students sounding. But there are a lot of other weird things about this scene. Firstly, I think it’s curious that when “Micheal” is mentioned, Not!Sasha refers to him (and yes, I noticed she uses he/him, unlike OG Sasha who used it/its) as the one with “all the bones in his hands” which…almost perfectly lines up with what Ivo’s father said. I had my doubts about that theory, but now I feel pretty convinced by it. That just leaves me thinking about what connection he might have to the fractals. Now that I think about it, fractals kind of line up with the descriptions of strange patterns that have shown up, like the one on the table. And…well, given what happened, I can’t help but wonder if “Micheal” and Not!Sasha have a deeper connection to each other, especially since this is the first time he’s been brought up since Episode 26. (Maybe he’s impersonating the real Micheal…oh no that’s a whole new can of worms, pun not intended). Another thing is how Not!Sasha says Elias gave her a strange look. …THE MOTHERFUCKER KNOWS!!! WHAT IS HIS PROBLEM?! WHY?! Lastly, there’s some of the discrepancies that Not!Sasha has failed to avoid. Firstly, she should’ve been scarred by the worms like Jon and Tim but just…isn’t. Secondly, even though Jon doesn’t remember the original Sasha (which is…even more depressing when I put it into words…), he’s astute enough to realize that something is off with her. And finally, there’s the matter of the missing tapes. I checked, and they are indeed all of the tapes that Sasha appeared on. I think it’s likely Not!Sasha took them to learn about the role she has to play, but since there’s certainly something weird about the tapes, and this theme of truth being recorded on them…I have to wonder if she maybe stole them because the original Sasha’s voice is still on them, and you can straight up hear Sasha dying and being replaced on the one from Episode 39. With the logic presented in Episode 3, Sasha’s voice on the tapes should be replaced by that of Not!Sasha, but when you consider the framing device of the audience being people listening to these tapes, and the general weird things at play…I’m concerned. I think…I think Jon needs to get those tapes back as soon as possible. In short, I am very scared of the new archival assistant, and her mysterious connections.

MARTIN MY BELOVED!!! How is it legal for someone to be this sweet, he was genuinely so worried for Jon and I just want to give him a hug he’s so nice :(. But ultimately, as much as I feel for him, Martin is not the main focus here. The strange objects in the tunnels are not the main focus. The main focus here is the human remains. The remains of Gertrude Robinson. Wow. I…honestly thought it was going to take longer for her fate to come to light. I mean, there is still a lot that is obviously unknown, but to have her down here, confirmed to be dead, confirmed to be MURDERED…it’s making my brain go in so many directions. I guess I’ll start with the room she was found in. It’s…very concerning how similar it is to the archives. I don’t even know what it’s supposed to mean? Does it signify that the institute was built upon an older institute somehow? Are we not even going to bother checking out the tapes she left down there? I NEED TO KNOW. And, then, I mean, god the way she died. I was so convinced by all of the clues that she died some sort of gruesome eldritch fate, but hearing that she was simply shot…why is that so much more haunting. I mean, I have to assume there were still some weird circumstances surrounding her death as a whole, given clues in Episode 11 and Episode 25, but…it’s very concerning. And then there’s Jon’s words about this. Does that…DOES THAT MEAN THAT SEASON 2 IS A FUCKING MURDER MYSTERY?! BECAUSE I WOULD ABSOLUTELY LOVE THAT! Look, assuming that the murderer is indeed someone in the institute (which I say because Gertrude does seem to have made a good few enemies in her lifetime), then my fingers are already pointed at Elias due to how sketchy he is, but honestly…I’m afraid this is just another mystery that I don’t have to energy to fully crack right now. And Jon’s words at the end…please tell me he doesn’t resort to doing very stupid things that endanger his own life for the sake of the truth. Oh who am I kidding he probably will. But…wow, I’m just…I’m just so excited for Season 2.

So yeah…that’s Season 1 of The Magnus Archives. The fact that I already feel changed by this series, both for better and for worse, within the first season…it just gets me so excited and mortified all at once. There’s still so much story potential, so many mysteries to be solved, and I can’t wait to hear it all for myself. Honestly, the fact that there’s so many plot lines, and the only one to be kind of resolved The Flesh Hive and Jane Prentiss arc…that’s insane. So, I’m just going to leave a list of things I want answers on down here.

- The Anglerfish

- Breekon and Hope

- The Table and The Impersenator

- The Keay Family

- Micheal Crew

- Jurgen Leitner and his fucked up books

- The house on Hill Top Road

- The Heat Entity and its cult

- The People’s Church of The Divine Host

- Trevor Herbert and his companion

- Antonio Blake

- The Eyes

- The Lukas Family

- Mikaele Salesa

- The Meat

- The Spiders and The Lighter

- The Fairchilds

- Jonah Magnus and the founding of The Institute

- The Circus of The Other

- “Micheal” and The Fractals

- The true nature of The Flesh Hive

- Robert Smirke and his passages

- John Amherst and the infection

- The backstories of the main cast

- The death of Gertrude Robinson

- And finally, what the hell is going to happen next?

So, there’s a wrap on Season 1? Do I expect all of these questions to be answered in the next season? Absolutely not. Do I want all of them to be answered eventually? Yeah probably. If you’ve made it this far, thank you so, SO much. Like, you genuinely deserve an award for reading all of my insane rambling. I’ll be back with my thoughts on the first 10 episodes of Season 2 in due time, but for now, thank you and bye :).

[letswritefuriously]

Episode 1x1 of My Nameless WIP

Part one

(I still need a name for this WIP btw if anybody has some ideas.) Now, I know that this post is gonna be long, but don’t be daunted! Please just check it out, see what you think! There’s gonna be three parts to this episode, so if you wanna keep reading, ask to be tagged/follow me! (Preferably both). Remember to give me feedback!

Scene 1

It’s late at night; probably about 10pm. It’s a full moon, so the night is bright and the sky is full of stars. An old, abandoned house sits under the milky way, two stories high with faded white paint, one of those triangular pointed roof above a window thingies. The leaves of a low hanging tree blow in the wind, brushing a tall, spiky fence.

Running very fast, two people vault over the fence, making it rattle, and then continue to run towards the house.

Scene 2

There is a shot from the inside of the two people entering the house. They flick torches on, and reveal themselves to be ALICIA (African America, 19, short, stylish) and ETHAN (African American, 19, tall, nerdy but sill cool TM). ALICIA pulls out a phone and begins to record.

A shot from the camera’s point of view; it focuses on Ethan, who waves. The expression on his face is almost condescending; as if he is playing with a small child.

ALICIA (turning the camera to selfie mode): Haunted house number 8.

ETHAN (off screen): I’m really beginning to think this is a waste of a gap year.

ALICIA (smacking him): Shut up. (Turns back to the camera). Up the stairs?

ETHAN (off screen): This isn’t a freaking vidchat!

ALICIA (ignoring him): Up the stairs! (She wags a finger at the camera). If I fall through some floorboards, you’re paying for my not-so-free healthcare.

ETHAN (Muttering from some distance away): She got no money.

ALICIA flips the bird at him, and then flips the camera back around so that we can see him walking up the stairs, which creak ominously. He is clearly oblivious of the profanity.

Scene 3

ALICIA is receiving a boost from ETHAN up through the pointy window thingy (oh god someone tell me what they’re called please). She clambers onto the roof, and then offers her hand to ETHAN, who ignores it and pulls himself up.

ALICIA: I can do that. Just so you know. I’m just smart, and didn’t want to fall.

ETHAN (snorting): Sure you could.

ALICIA: Just because I don’t have to go around displaying my fragile masculinity-

ETHAN: You must have VERY fragile masculinity, as it’s not there at all.

ALICIA shoves him, and he nearly falls off the roof.

ETHAN (after he has recovered): If I fell, you wouldn’t be able to blame it on Tahlia, and you’d be the one paying.

ALICIA: Yeah, ye- Oh! Tahlia! She pulls her phone back out, and hits record. (To ETHAN). Scooch, you gotta be in the picture. (She turns to the camera). Hey Tahlia! We’re back!

ETHAN: ‘Sup.

ALICIA: It’s confirmed! She opens her mouth, and then looks at ETHAN expectantly.

ETHAN: Do we have to do this is every time?

ALICIA: Yes!

TOGETHER: Not haunted!

ETHAN: Just go to sleep, trash monkey. If this wreck ain’t haunted, I’m sure your bedroom isn’t either.

ALICIA: What he said. Love ya! I miss you so much!

ETHAN (half-heartedly): Bye!

ALICIA finishes the recording.

ALICIA: I’ll send it in the morning, she’ll be asleep by now.

ETHAN: For God’s sake, she’s 10, if she’s NOT awake she’s a freaking wimp.

ALICIA: Hey, you know how strict Mom’s rules are.

ETHAN mutters something that sounds suspiciously like ‘sleep before you see her drunk and sobbing’. If ALICIA hears him, she pretends not to.

ALICIA (sighing): I do wish I could see her again.

ETHAN: You could just say sorry, you know.

ALICIA: I meant Tahlia, not Mom.

ETHAN: My point still stands.

ALICIA (as if she hadn’t even heard him): I don’t even remember what we were fighting about now.

ETHAN: ‘Course ya don’t.

ALICIA: I’m not gonna be the first to apologise, though.

There’s a long pause. After a few moments, ALICIA leans her head on ETHAN’s shoulder.

ALICIA (yawning): It’s only like eight years until she graduates, anyway... Her eyes drift shut.

There is a very, very long pause.

ETHAN: Yeah. Only eight years.

And we cut to black.

Scene 4

Title card.

Scene 5

The screen is suddenly split open by bright rays of bold sunlight. The camera catches on what appears to be a military base; multiple chain-link fences, a big lot of khaki jeeps and black SUVs, plane hangars and large, threatening buildings.

It seems to be abandoned; empty plane hangars, no patrols, the cars are covered in layers of dust.

The camera refocuses on a small figure, lying on a hill about two-hundred metres back. The figure is wearing dust-coloured clothing over what appears to be a black wetsuit.

Looking closer at their face, we can see that it is ARI (androgyne, 19, badass). His eyes are completely focused on the facility ahead of him. At his waist hang two boomerangs, unadorned and wooden. He raises a pair of binoculars and scans the facility.

ARI (speaking into a UHF radio): Agent queer, reporting nothing at 1400. Over.

VOICE (crackling over the UHF): Ari, cut the s***. What’s up?

ARI: What I said; literally nothing. There is literally nothing going on here. Over.

VOICE: Quit it with the overs. Please tell me you haven’t been staring at the bloody clouds for eight hours.

ARI looks over at a half-empty pack of marshmallows and a lighter next to him.

ARI: Uh... not exactly.

VOICE: Goddammit Ari, this is exactly why you lost you squad.

ARI (innocently): I thought I lost my squad because I was ‘a danger to everyone around me.’

VOICE: Same difference.

There is a pause.

ARI (bringing the UHF very close to his face): You gotta say f***ing over, man. How else am I supposed to know if you’re done?

VOICE: You just wait until I f***ing pause. Like I did just then; you didn’t say over.

ARI: Well, s***.

VOICE: Moooooood. You can hear somebody yelling at the VOICE from the other end of the UHF. Once it’s over, VOICE begins to giggle a bit, but manages to hold most of it back. So your point is there’s nothing.

ARI: Yep.

VOICE: Great, that’s you done for today. The next shift’ll be there in about half-an-hour-

ARI: About that.

VOICE: Oh goddammit, here we go.

ARI: It’s empty. I’m going in.

VOICE: S***. Indistinctly, you can hear him calling for his superiors. Ari, you know what happened last time-

ARI: Yup. And I literally see no downside-

VOICE: You got demoted-

ARI: Aaaand now I don’t have to work with anyone else. He begins to take off his khaki shirt.

VOICE: Look, you little s***, we’ve got another team on the way-

ARI: That other team isn’t going to get here for an hour. There is literally nothing you can do to stop me, so, you might as well just not tell anyone at your end.

Indistinctly you can hear VOICE talking to people on the other end.

ARI: I hate you. He is now wearing only the black wetsuit. He chucks the UHF into the dirt next to him. He grabs one last marshmallow, stuffing it in his mouth, and then army rolls forward. Almost immediately, his body begins to shake, and then shrink. Before he has completed the first complete roll, he is a desert mouse. He quickly scampers down the hill.

The camera comes to focus on the abandoned UHF.

VOICE: Ari? Ari!

Scene 6

The wind blow dust through the deserted military base as ARI hops through the chain link in the form of a mouse. He rests for a moment, and then continues to hop along.

There is a shot of an empty hangar, which ARI hops through. He comes to a door. With a nervous glance around, he becomes himself again, and then jiggles the handle. It’s locked.

ARI reaches into his-

ARI: S***. No pockets.

He drops his hands and turns to slowly look around the hangar. The camera catches on a toolbox on the other side.

There’s a pause.

Scene 7

ARI is now holding a piece of wire and a small metal tool. He picks the lock. A second later, he jiggles the handle again. The door opens this time, and he slips inside. The door closes behind him, and for a few seconds, all you can hear is the wind, as the camera gets further and further away.

Scene 8

A perfectly sterile, completely white hallway stretches away from the camera, until it intersects with another corridor.  The corridor is lined with doors, and the top half is separated from the bottom half by a long silver line across the wall. There is complete and utter silence, for a very long moment.

A fly buzzes across the corridor.

Silence.

It buzzes back. The moment it reaches the other side, there is a sound similar to that of an electric fence zapping you, and ARI tumbles onto the floor. As he stand up, he shakes himself and shudders. Apparently being a fly is not too pleasant.

He looks around and then raises a hand to sliver line on the wall. With a stifled yelp, he withdraws it; a close-up on his knuckles shows them to be an angry red.

ARI: Daaaaammn. They thought this out. He closes his eyes and concentrates, but nothing happens. Kill me now.

He walks down the corridor, making no attempt to sneak; with the black of his wetsuit like clothing jarring against the white walls, he’d be spotted immediately, and nobody is here anyway.

He tries the first door he comes across. It’s unlocked, and he steps inside.

Scene 9

Inside is a white room just like the last, except for the fact that in the centre, it has a table filled with people. They all look up at ARI.

ARI (immediately adopting a serious face): Oh! Sorry I didn’t realise a meeting was in session, I’ve got an urgent message for the-

Twenty guns aim at his face.

ARI: Oh... He laughs nervously. ...I wasn’t aware that you were in the business of killing your employEES-

His voice rises to a yell as twenty safeties click off and manages to shut the door just as bullets slam into it.

Scene 10

ARI sprints down the hallway, and all the EXECUTIVES pour into the corridor and take aim. ARI turns down a corridor to the sound of reports.

ARI: Come on, shift dammit!

He does not shift. The camera cuts to a tracking shot of the EXECUTIVES running after him, trying unsuccessfully to shoot and run. One speaks rapidly into their phone.

EXECUTIVE 1: We got a security threat, Building 3, Sector 5-

Cut back to mid shot of ARI bursting through a door.

Scene 11

ARI bursts into the sunlight of the Hangar he came into originally, only now, it’s filled with at least fifty SOLDIERS. They haven’t looked in his direction yet though, and mid-leap, he shifts into a fly again.

The EXECUTIVES burst through the door he came through a few seconds ago, EXECUTIVE 1 still babbling on the phone. All the SOLDIERS guns train on them, and they put their hands up.

EXECUTIVE 2: Don’t shoot! Our spy is here somewhere.

EXECUTIVE 1 (still on the phone): ...orders to kill on sight...

EXECUTIVE 2 (to EXECUTIVE 1): This is a suspected C-O-N, give the lockdown code.

As EXECUTIVE 1 begins to rattle off numbers, the camera cuts to a close up of ARI as a fly, listening avidly.

EXECUTIVE 1: Two-three-oh, six-five-two-

ARI’s fly-face contorts in horror as he realises what is happening, and he buzzes off-

EXECUTIVE 1: Six-three-one, two-seven-five.

A fine, glittering silver and grey powder sprays explosively from the ceiling, and there is another zapping sound, as, with a yelp, ARI sprawls onto the tarmac near the opening of the hangar.

ARI (squeaking): Hi! Bullets begin to fly and he ducks around the corner. As he runs, he curses. Oh-crap-I’m-screwed-ohnoohno-I’mgonnadie- The camera cuts to the chain-link fence rapidly approaching. OH S***! He squeezes his eyes shut and jumps-

And slow motion, bird’s eye, low angle, mid shot, high angle, extreme close-up on his foot-

Right as it shifts into a jaguar’s paw.

The shot speeds back up to normal motion as ARI’s paws leave the ground, propelling him into the air and over the fence in one, graceful leap, the SOLDIERS slowing down before they run into the fence. EXECUTIVE 2 presses his face to the chain-link, curling his hands around the wires with a feral snarl, baring some very inhuman teeth. His face, inexplicably, is covered in fresh blisters.

Scene 12

SOLDIERS from a different section of the base stream through the gates, but the jaguar that is ARI is already at the crest of the hill where he was staking out the base earlier. He grabs his cloths and backpack in his teeth, and, with one last, longing look at the pack of marshmallows, continues his sprint.

A fleet of jeeps peels out of the base’s front gates, their trailers filled with SOLDIERS.

ARI stops running and shifts back to human form, looking desperately over his shoulder at the rapidly approaching jeeps. He slings his bag over his shoulders and reaches down, pulling the camouflage cover off a motorbike.

The fleet of jeeps appear, roaring, over the top of the hill, churning up dust.

ARI kicks the bike to life, shoots one last look over his shoulder, and guns the engine, speeding off.

The SOLDIERS aim the sights of their guns around the side of the jeeps and take aim, but he has too much of head-start. He speeds out of sight down the side of hill, and he’s away.

There’s a close-up of ARI’s face; he’s smiling.

ARI (under his breath): Ha, suckers. Then, no longer under his breath; Ha! Suckers! HE grins and pumps a fist in the air-

Scene 13

ARI flops onto tiny bed in a cruddy motel room.

ARI: Stupid, stupid, stupid! He balls his fists over his eyes and then tears them through his hair. This is why nobody likes you. Tears begin to stream from his eyes, but he doesn’t make any sound. You’re so – I’m so stupid.

He pulls a pillow over his eyes and shakes with silent tears. The camera slowly zooms out.

And we cut to black.

ARI (VO): I’ll find a way to fix this.

Scene 14

ALICIA is sitting on her laptop at the kitchen table in a log cabin, completely motionless, except for her fingers, deftly moving over the trackpad.

An extreme close-up on her face show that she’s frowning, chewing her lip with urgency. Her eyes look like they’re about to flood with tears, but she sniffs violently and blinks several times, tilting her head back. She sits like that for a moment, but is interrupted by her phone chiming.

She starts and immediately picks it up, her whole face lighting up with joy. It’s only a new alert though, and her shoulders slump. She chucks it back down on the table, and then flinches at the thump it makes, quickly picking it back up to make sure the screen isn’t cracked.

She sighs and looks back at her screen, slouching back in her chair.

ALICIA (barely audible): Come on, you know this.

ETHAN walks into the room, leaning over her shoulder. She swats him away and tilts the screen so he can’t see.

ALICIA (sort of playfully, but not really): Hey! Don’t look over my shoulder!

ETHAN: You’re literally just doing your mojo stuff, what’s the big-

ALICIA (irritably): It’s psychology, not mojo.

ETHAN (holding his hands up): Okay, okay. I thought you said you were going out...?

ALICIA: I AM, okay? Just get off my back, I gotta finish this.

ETHAN (backing off): I’m not on your back. Calm down, you’re already a few days ahead of the course.

ALICIA: I just need to-

ETHAN reaches over her shoulder and closes the laptop.

ALICIA (practically apoplectic): Hey! No, no no, you can’t do that, it hasn’t saved my progress-

ETHAN: You were on question one.

ALICIA: I had work to do! I NEEDED to-

ETHAN: Hey, calm down. No you didn’t. Go relax or something.

ALICIA (eyes practically popping out with rage): What, be like YOU?! Just never do anything and never get anywhere? ETHAN flinches, and ALICIA’s face falls as she realises what she’s said. I didn’t mean it-

ETHAN (eyes on the ground, muttering): It’s okay. It is clearly not okay. Just... He hands her his wallet. ...Go nightclubbing or something. Take a break.

ALICIA smiles nervously.

ALICIA: I’m really sorry, I’ll just-

ETHAN: It’s fine.

ALICIA: I feel really bad though... You know I didn’t mean it, right? How can I make it up?

ETHAN: Just go and have some fun. He folds her fingers around his wallet.

ALICIA: Um... ETHAN shoots her a glare. Fine. Let’s make a deal. If I ‘have some fun’, you finish up your college applications.

ETHAN: You drive a hard bargain. He thinks. Fine. (Playfully) Just get out.

ALICIA (walking to the door): Going, going!

ETHAN: And don’t drink!

ALICIA: You told me to have some fun!

ETHAN: Non-drug-involved fun!

ALICIA shuts the door behind her, and the smile on ETHAN’s face immediately falls. He collapses onto the chair that ALICIA was sitting in, and stays there for a long moment.

A second later, he reaches over the table and grabs himself a bag of chips. He shakes his head and grimaces, opening the laptop again.

Scene 15

ARI walks into a shop, with a sign above it dubbing it ‘face the rainbow’. Once inside, it is clear that it is a gay bar – people sitting in couples, fairly dark, with a drag queen singing in the back.

ARI immediately takes a seat at the bar.

ARI: Cheapest thing you sell, thanks.

THE BARTENDER nods at him, and turns around to get it. STRANGER, clearly drunk, flops down on a seat next to ARI.

STRANGER: Hey, handsome. My buddies bet me I wouldn’t be able to make conversation with the finest guy in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with their money?

ARI: Great, I’ve been running off cheap beer for a month. (To THE BARTENDER) Make that the most expensive thing, thanks! (Back to STRANGER) So you know, though, I’ve only agreed to conversation. Don’t get any ideas.

STRANGER (putting his hand on ARI’s thigh): So what... what are your plans for tonight?

ARI: Nothing, although I might commit a felony if you don’t remove your hand from my leg right now.

STRANGER: Come on... don’t be like that... Tonight’ll be better if you re-

ARI: I’m not into that. Move your hand.

STRANGER: Come on, why would you be at a bar if you didn’t want to?

ARI: To have a freaking drink. This is your last chance, mate; Move. Your. Goddamn. Hand.

STRANGER: I’m sure you’ll want me once I-

Quick as a flash, ARI grabs his middle finger, jerking it back suddenly to the sound of a large crack. STRANGER yelps. THE BARTENDER looks up suddenly.

ARI: What? He wouldn’t move his hand.

STRANGER staggers off. THE BARTENDER continues to look back and forth between them.

ARI: Can I please just have a drink?

THE BARTENDER shrugs and continues to make the cocktail.

ARI: Oh, he even left his wallet here. How nice. (To THE BARTENDER) Make that two of those, thanks!

Scene 16

ALICIA is riding her bike out of the camping ground where the log cabin they were renting was. It’s twilight, and she’s going to have to ride fast if she wants to get to her destination before dark.

The bike’s wheels squeak on the road; it’s the only sound that cuts through the evening air. A bird gives a single warning, and everything is quiet. And then-

There is a crash from a little way into the woods, nearly making ALICIA fall off her bike. She puts her foot down to steady herself, and there’s another crash. Then silence.

ALICIA: ...H-Hello? The silence continues. Hello? A strange music comes from the woods, halfway between moaning and screaming, causing her to yelp and drop her bike, crashing, to the ground. The music stops. ALICIA takes a step forward. Who’s there?!

She takes another step off the side of the road, but then pauses.

ALICIA (berating herself): You’re not a white kid, Alicia. She picks up her bike, and shoots a longing glance at the woods-

A deer comes springing out of woods and misses her by a few metres. ALICIA shrieks, and then stops, looking around to make sure nobody heard. The silence presses in once again.

ALICIA (under her breath): If an abandoned house isn’t haunted, then a... She looks around. ...Deserted, creepy-ass road isn’t haunted. She gets back on her bike and continues to ride.

With her back turned to the woods, ALICIA doesn’t notice that the trees have been lit up a strange, eerie green.

Scene 17

ALICIA padlocks her bike to the bike-rack, humming ‘We will rock you’ by Queen, and occasionally singing a lyric or two under her breath.

ALICIA (half-humming, half-singing): Buddy... big noise... blood on your face... big disgrace...

She walks along the street for about enters the bar; a different drag queen is singing, and she waves hello. She walks up to the bar.

FEMALE BARTENDER (the shift has changed it’s been two hours do you really expect the BARTENDER to stay there that long?!) (Flirtatiously btw): Aren’t you a little young to be in here?

ALICIA (also flirtatiously): Who’s checking? She leans in. Who says I’m here to drink, anyway?

FEMALE BARTENDER wags a finger.

FEMALE BARTENDER: Don’t pretend you have any clue how to flirt. But she’s already getting her a drink. Just sit over there – she motions to the back – so that nobody... important sees you.

ALICIA: I think the most important person already has seen me.

FEMALE BARTENDER: I mean cops, you jackass. Sit your ass down.

ALICIA winks and walks away with her drink.

Scene 18

Camera cuts to ARI, who is practically asleep on the bar top. He arrived at ‘Face the Rainbow’ at 6pm for the tail end of the happy hour. It’s now 8pm, and THE STRANGER had a fair amount of money in his wallet.

To say the least; ARI is as drunk as a skunk.

He’s getting some pretty strange looks from onlookers. There are about three empty glasses next to him; clearly, FEMALE BARTENDER stopped bothering a little while ago.

FEMALE BARTENDER (coming over): Are you meeting someone, or are you just depressed?

ARI (raising his head): Ugh... He blinks multiple times... I think I might be meeting... someone?

FEMALE BARTENDER: Dude... I stopped giving you drinks like an half-an-hour ago, why the f*** are you still here? She thinks for a moment, and then becomes concerned. Do you have a way to get home?

ARI doesn’t move from where he put his head back on the counter, except to raise his thumb. FEMALE BARTENDER sighs.

FEMALE BARTENDER: So... you ARE meeting someone... have you even looked to see if they’re here?

ARI raises his head to give her a look with the most sarcasm it is possible to fit onto a human’s facial features. After a moment, he realises he hasn’t, and then looks around the room slowly, like a turtle.

ARI: ...Nope... They said they’d be here at... He taps his fingers on the bar top. Six hours? He frowns. What time is it now?

FEMALE BARTENDER (chuckling): It’s 8. Go home.

ARI nods slowly, and looks around the bar again. He’s just about to stand up, when he whips around again, nearly falling over. The camera catches on ALICIA, sitting the corner.

Thanks for reading! Follow me and ask to be tagged for more content! All feedback is appreciated!

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Song Analysis: Convoy by C.W. McCall - FTWD

Good morning! Remember I said that I wanted to say more on the trucker song they listened to last week on Fear? Well, here it is! I’m basically just going to give you the lyrics and highlight the symbols. They’re things I and others on TD have talked about for a LONG time. I’ll also try to link to discussions of these symbols if you want a refresher, but I don’t really want to repeat all the info for each symbol. If you’ve followed my theories for any length of time, you should be fairly familiar with them. If not, you can always click the links. 😉

I guess my biggest take away with this song is that they chose it specifically for how well it ties into the show and how heavily it references the symbols they use in the show all the time. And that just makes us happy, you know?

So, the song is Called Convoy by C.W. McCall. It was a big deal back in 1975 when it hit number one on both country and pop charts.

In terms of what the song is about, it basically tries to show a dialogue between truckers on the road who speak to each other via CB radios. Already right there we have an interesting tie to the show. While they predominantly use walkie talkies, we have also seen many CB radios in both TWD and FTWD. In the latter, we saw them this season at the denim factory and at the gas station in 5a.

The other thing you should know about this song is that it uses a lot of CB slang. So if you just read through the lyrics and you’re NOT a trucker of CB radio enthusiast (which I’m guessing is most of us) it won’t make much sense to you. Go HERE to get an interpretation of the CB slang and it will make way more sense.

Here are the full lyrics. I put the bold text in to draw your attention to those words/phrases:

[CB radio chatter] Yeah, breaker one-nine This here's the Rubber Duck You got a copy on me Pig Pen, c'mon? Uh, yeah, Ten-Four Pig Pen, fer sure, fer sure By golly it's clean clear to Flag Town, c'mon Yeah, its a big Ten-Four there, Pig Pen Yeah, we definitely got the front door, Good Buddy Mercy sakes alive, looks like we've got us a convoy

Verse 1:

Was the dark of the moon on the sixth of June In a Kenworth pullin' logs Cab-over Pete with a reefer on And a Jimmy haulin' hogs We is headin' for bear on I-one-oh 'Bout a mile outta Shaky Town I says, "Pig Pen, this here's the Rubber Duck. "And I'm about to put the hammer down."

'Cause we got a little convoy Rockin' through the night. Yeah, we got a little convoy, Ain't she a beautiful sight? Come on and join our convoy Ain't nothin' gonna get in our way. We gonna roll this truckin' convoy 'Cross the U-S-A. Convoy!

[CB radio chatter] Yeah, breaker Pig Pen this here's the Duck And uh, you wanna back off them hogs Uh, ten-four 'bout five mile or so Ten-Roger them hogs is gettin' intense up here

Verse 2:

By the time we got into Tulsa Town, We had eighty-five trucks in all. But they's a roadblock up on the cloverleaf, And them bears was wall-to-wall. Yeah, them smokies is thick as bugs on a bumper; They even had a bear in the air! I says, "Callin' all trucks, this here's the Duck. "We about to go a-huntin' bear."

'Cause we got a little convoy Rockin' through the night. Yeah, we got a little convoy, Ain't she a beautiful sight? Come on and join our convoy Ain't nothin' gonna get in our way. We gonna roll this truckin' convoy 'Cross the U-S-A. Convoy!

[CB chatter] Uh, you wanna give me a ten-nine on that Pig Pen Uh, negatory Pig Pen you're still too close Yeah, them hogs is startin' to close up my sinuses Mercy sakes, you'd better back off another ten

Verse 3:

Well, we rolled up Interstate 44 Like a rocket sled on rails. We tore up all of our swindle sheets, And left 'em settin' on the scales. By the time we hit that Chi-town, Them bears was a-gettin' smart: They'd brought up some reinforcements From the Illinois National Guard. There's armored cars, and tanks, and jeeps, And rigs of ev'ry size. Yeah, them chicken coops was full'a bears And choppers filled the skies. Well, we shot the line and we went for broke With a thousand screamin' trucks An' eleven long-haired Friends a' Jesus In a chartreuse micra-bus.

[CB radio chatter] Yeah, Rubber Duck 'tis Sod Buster C'mon there Yeah, Ten-Four Sod Buster Listen, you wanna put that microbus In behind that suicide jockey Yeah, he's haulin' dynamite And he needs all the help he can get

Verse 4:

Well, we laid a strip for the Jersey shore And prepared to cross the line I could see the bridge was lined with bears But I didn't have a dog-goned dime. I says, "Pig Pen, this here's the Rubber Duck. "We just ain't a-gonna pay no toll." So we crashed the gate doing ninety-eight I says "Let them truckers roll, 10-4."

'Cause we got a little convoy Rockin' through the night. Yeah, we got a little convoy, Ain't she a beautiful sight? Come on and join our convoy Ain't nothin' gonna get in our way. We gonna roll this truckin' convoy 'Cross the U-S-A. Convoy!

[CB radio chatter] Ah, Ten-Four Pig Pen what's you're Twenty Omaha Well, they oughtta know what to do With them hogs out there, fer sure Well, mercy sakes good buddy We gonna back on outta here So keep the bugs off yer glass And the bears off yer...tail We'll catch you on the flip flop This here's the Rubber Duck on the side We gone Bye, bye

Okay, so like I said, read HERE for a complete interpretation of the CB slang in the song, but it’s worth mentioning a few things that are important. The song is about a bunch of truckers who basically stage a “rebellion” by tearing up their log books, driving cross country, and busting through a bunch of police blockades in the process.

The conversation is mostly between three main people: “Rubber Duck,” “Pig Pen,” who has a truck full of hogs, and “Sodbuster.” I’m assuming those are their CB call signs. Here are posts on Rubber Ducks and Pigs. I don’t have one on Sodbusters, but that’s basically slang for a farmer, and just makes me think of Hershel.

So the song also mentions bears a lot. Guess what a bear is slang for in CB lingo? A cop! Specifically highway patrol. That’s because they often wear hats similar to the Smokey the Bear mascot.

So when the “bears get smart,” it means the cops are being resourceful trying to stop the convoy. Going hunting for a bear metaphorically means hunting for cops. And, just a point of detail, in the song, they’re not REALLY hunting for cops. Rather, they’re doing things that will draw the cops toward them because their activities are illegal. Just wanted to point that out.

And the “bear in the sky” is a—wait for it!—HELICOPTER! Yup! A police helicopter that’s also following them.

See why this song made us excited! It screams so many TD symbols that we’ve talked about for a long time, including Grady cops. If you read the Wikipedia I linked above, even the trucks in the convoy (mentioned in slang, so you’ll have to look it up to see what they are) have some significance. There’s the pig truck, of course, but also a REFRIGERATED boxcar truck, which works well with @frangipanilove’s refrigeration/Sirius theories.

I highlighted the “11 Long-haired friends of Jesus” for two reasons. 1) Jesus/bible reference. 2) 11 is also significant. Me, @wdway and @frangipanilove were talking about this on Sunday. If you read the theory I re-posted yesterday (also by @frangipanilove) I’m sure you understand. Oh, btw, Omaha, Nebraska is mentioned in the “CB chatter” part of the song as well.

I also highlighted the “hammer” in the first verse because we saw the hammer symbol brought up a lot last week. The young guy at the end used a broken hammer to break into the generator room at the gas station before Logan showed up to shoot up his three wheel bike. 

And then it caught my attention that on the S10 special, Tyreese’s hammer was given away in the special drop box. I’m feeling like there’s something significant about this symbol right now. And the only thing we an really connect it to is Tyreese, who died in the episode after Beth was shot and whose death hallucination, Beth was in. Just saying.

Also notice the moon and bridge symbols. I don’t think I need to explain those. Plus some others I highlighted on principle: some eights, some fives, cars, tanks, a reference to suicide and explosives, etc.

And I maintain what I said in my original analysis. If hunting a bear = hunting a cop, and what character was most heavily associated with cops? That would be Beth, because of Grady. Then hunting a bear suggests hunting Grady cops (or drawing them out) which has to lead to Beth eventually. And I have no idea when. Maybe not even this season. Who knows? But what the group is doing now by helping people will probably eventually lead to it in some way.

And then we had that thing Lenny said on TTD about how something really unexpected will happen this season. Something no one will see coming. Juuust saying. ;D Thoughts?