#the english one i mean. its the actual worst

[alyimoss]

if you ever wanna know how to write an unlikeable character just look at genshin impact's paimon

[where-does-the-heart-lie]

ASL brothers HAIKYUU!! AU!!!!!

Day one of Self Indulgent month for me! I love these three, i love haikyuu, i love killer whales!

(The Naval Academy is this au’s version of marines)

For those who dont know, in Haikyuu (and prob in real life too but in my experience its not as important as they make it in the anime) The "Ace" of the team is the person who primarily scores points via spiking. Theyre the Hard Hitter, basically.

Design talk👇

Originally, i was gonna make their school mascot just "The Pirates" but i couldnt figure out a clever pun with the school name so i scrapped it in favor of an animal mascot. I figured I would have a wider range of puns that way.

I landed on Orcas as the mascot because I think they really embody a pirate way of life. Theyre strong, hang out in groups of a mix of found family and their actual family, hate the rich, and theyre fun loving! And also im a bit biased because theyre my favorite animal, but hey, i said its self indulgent month, didnt I?

Their school name is a play on the word for Killer Whale (Shachi シャチ) and the word for 'knowledge' (Chishiki 知識), i just smashed the two words together. I'm very proud of myself for coming up with that given i dont speak japanese at all.

Anyway, with their designs, I was taking inspiration from orcas to match the design themes of haikyuu. Ace's hair is bleached on the underside to look like the underside of an orca's body, I made ace and sabo's eyes look more whale-like, the clip in sabo's hair is meant to resemble to spots behind orca's eyes, and I tried to make luffy's hair look more like it's round and spiking down more than i usually do.

Ace is wearing a ''way of the ace" shirt in the first picture, Luffy is wearing a shirt that just says "VOLLEY BALL" because i think it would be funny if he wore a bunch of those Zero-context-poorly-translated-random-english-words shirts that theres a bunch of in Asia. Sabo dyes his hair like delinquents do, but it doesnt much look delinquent~y because of how soft it looks. He means to do it to make him look like a delinquent though. Sabo still has his scars in this au, but he uses his hair, arm braces, and leg braces to cover them up. LUFFY AND ACE HAVE FUNKY SOCKS BECAUSE NO ONE CAN TELL THEM (or me) THEY CANT. Sabo wears athletic socks though because he's a debbie downer. He defends himself saying “It’s practical” and Ace and luffy call him “practically a Debbie Downer.”

Luffy is very good at receiving from growing up with Sabo and Ace practicing setting and spiking with eachother and assigning Luffy as Ball Boy. So he got the libero position from that cuz sabo and ace put in a good word for him. Nepotism.

I didn't feel like coming up with designs for them, but Zoro and Bepo are also on their team (theyre in the fifth image sitting on the right of the line of students). Koala and nami are student managers, Robin is the teacher manager, and Franky is the coach. all other straw hats/luffy friends, rev army comrades, and whitebeard brethren are in the stands. Im trying to keep the ages consistent with how they are in canon.

I didnt do a very in depth research, but i couldnt find what Japanese schools have as mascot costumes. and given no one wears any costumes in haikyuu for their team, i can kind of assume they dont use them over there. But unfortunately for them, I'm American. And part of the backbone of our schooling system, is Vaguely Unsettling Mascot Costumes. My sister says my design for it looks like its from Club Penguin, and i find that delightful. [moment of silence for my billions of fallen Puffles, taken from me in The Shutdown] Anyway.

I thought I was clever coming up with the equivalent of the Marines in this au being a Naval Academy. And their mascot being Seals, famously the animal that gets the absolute Worst Of It from orcas. Get shit onnnnn

I believe thats about it, thanks for coming to my ted talk :)

[petermorwood]

A day or so ago, @dduane reblogged a long post - a Canadian magazine article from 1966 - about the Americanisation of Winnie the Pooh.

It's an Impressive Tirade in which the writer (Sheila H. Kieran) says what she thinks about letting Walt Disney have a free hand with a foreign Children's Classic.

There's mention of the previous Adaptation Endeavour, "Mary Poppins" (1964) but it's very brief, perhaps with an eye to limited column space - or maybe because All Was Said Already in a previous review.

There is, however, rather a lot about the English characters being given American accents, and about the inclusion of a new character, an American gopher (which, the article suggests, looked vague enough to the Kieran children - its target audience - that it might as well have been a mole or a beaver).

*****

And that reminded me of another bit of American Animalisation done by Disney, in the 1949 short "The Wind and the Willows" - though in this instance it's visual since the voices are, for the most part, suitably British.

They include Basil Rathbone as narrator, and a horse who sounds like George Formby. In some scenes the horse actually looks like Formby, so this voice may not be entirely accidental.

Badger, however, sounds like a Scotsman - the worst kind of stage Scotsman at that - rather than how I used to "hear" him as a C. Aubrey Smith-voiced crusty retired colonel.

That, however, is just personal preference.

However, Disney's Badger is not a proper British (more correctly, European) badger, Meles meles. Here's one, which though not the most amiable of beasts in reality, still manages to look fairly affable ("I say, old chap, whatever are you looking at?")

Instead he's a North American badger, Taxidea taxus, which not only has a less affable expression ("Hey, bud, you. Yeah, you. You lookin' at me? You lookin' at ME?") but, more important, different stripes.

Here's Disney's version alongside mine. The correction took about five minutes of pixel-tweaking.

Disney's animators could have got it right from the outset just as easily, because I'm pretty sure the reference library which provided costume info for Rat's tweed Norfolk jacket and britches included picture-books of natural history.

Come to that, any "The Wind in the Willows" after the unillustrated first edition would have been enough, and there must have been at least one copy lying around for story adaptation and scene-description purposes.

The first illustrated edition came out in the UK in 1931, and its artist was, at author Kenneth Graham's request, the very same E.H. Shepard who had illustrated the Pooh books just a few years previously...

...while this Arthur Rackham colour plate is from an edition published in 1940 in New York.

So those books wouldn't have been impossible for Disney to get.

The problem, however, is that if a word ("badger", for instance) is well known to mean one thing here, it may be Too Much Trouble to find out if the same word means something else there, with the result that finding out can sometimes come as rather a surprise.

Check the UK / US meaning of "suspenders" to see what I mean... ;->

[its-not-that-weird-blog]

On the wrong foot

Matt Rempe x Reader

Summary: Maybe starting off on the wrong foot wasn't as bad as everyone thought…

Warnings: A little angsty but nothing to bad, enemies to lovers.

A/N: Due to the lack of Matt Rempe´s fics, here you have one, hope you guys like it. Sorry for any grammar mistakes, english is not my first language :) Let me know what you thought about this little fic

2.8k words

Being an intern for the New York Rangers has its ups and downs. Some positive aspects are that you get to do what you like (having fun on social media and forcing the players to make TikToks) and having free access to all the games in the season. All of that makes you grateful for this amazing opportunity, but there is one thing that makes this job unbearable..

And that is Matt Rempe, a cocky, 6'7" rookie who acts like he has the entire world in the palm of his hand. His arrogance and overconfidence make every interaction with him a challenge. He struts around the locker room, flaunting his height and abilities, often disregarding the efforts of those around him. His constant need for attention and validation only adds to the frustration, making what could be an amazing experience a bit of a nightmare.

Y/N and Matt started off on the wrong foot, meeting under the worst possible circumstances. It was the worst day of Y/N´s entire life. She had woken up late, throwing off her entire morning routine, and had to rush out the door without even grabbing a quick breakfast. Her day only got worse as she hurried to catch the train, only to miss it by mere seconds. By the time Y/N finally made it to the rink, she was frazzled, starving, and running on empty. That’s when she ran into Matt Rempe for the first time. Their initial encounter was less than pleasant, setting the tone for our strained relationship from the very start.

“You know this is a private practice, right?” Matt asked the poor frazzled girl.

“Yes, I am very aware of that,” she answered, chuckling. “You must be Matt, right? The new rookie?” Y/N asked, looking up at the lanky, very tall boy standing in front of her.

“Yeah, I mean, hard for you not to know, I guess... And you are?” Matt trailed off.

Y/N was taken aback, mainly because the team directors always made sure to let the new guys know who worked in what, especially in the media and marketing department.

“Oh, umm… I’m Y/N, one of the media interns,” she replied with a tight-lipped smile.

Matt raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. “Media intern, huh? So, what do you do? Take pictures and post tweets?”

“Actually, I manage the team's social media accounts, coordinate player interviews, and create content for our marketing campaigns,” Y/N replied, trying to keep her voice steady despite her irritation. “It’s a lot of work and responsibility.”

“Right, sure,” Matt said dismissively. “Well, try not to get in the way.”

Y/N felt a surge of frustration but forced herself to stay calm. “I’ll do my best,” she said, her tone tinged with sarcasm. “And maybe you can try to remember who’s on your team next time.”

Matt smirked. “We’ll see about that.”

As he walked away, Y/N couldn’t help but feel a mixture of anger and determination. She knew she had to prove herself, not just to Matt, but to everyone. This internship was too important to let one arrogant rookie ruin it for her.

She brushed it off, but it still annoyed her the audacity of that boy.

°°°°°°°°°°°

A few weeks had passed since their first encounter and it has been a constant fight between Y/N and Matt, mainly because of Matt’s attitude towards her. December rolled around and the team´s marketing director told the staff that they needed to do a promotional photoshoot to use during summer break.

It was a chilly Tuesday morning, and the team was gathered for the photoshoot at an outdoor rink. The bright sunlight reflected off the ice, creating a beautiful backdrop for the shoot. Y/N had been working tirelessly to ensure everything was set up perfectly: the lighting, the props, and the shoot schedule. 

Matt Rempe, on the other hand, seemed determined to test Y/N’s patience today. As the players gathered for their turn in front of the camera, Y/N called Matt over for his individual shots.

“Alright, Matt, let’s get started,” Y/N said, holding up a clipboard and checking the list. “We need you to do a few action poses first, then we’ll get some close-ups.”

Matt strolled over with a cocky and sarcastic grin. “Sure thing, but can I ask, why do we have to do this out in the freezing cold? Couldn’t you find a warmer spot?” Making his grin disappear and tuning his face into an annoyed frown

Y/N kept her professional demeanor. “It’s about the look we’re going for. The outdoor rink adds a unique touch to the photos. Plus, it’s only for a short while.”

Matt sighed heavily but positioned himself on the ice. As Y/N instructed him to perform a few drills and poses, Matt’s resistance became evident. He was slow to follow instructions, often taking a few extra seconds to reposition himself, and his expressions were lackluster at best.

Y/N tried to stay patient as she gave him clear directions. “Matt, please try to focus on the details of the poses. We need these shots to look sharp and engaging.”

Matt responded with a distracted nod but continued to make minimal effort. When Y/N asked him to adjust his stance, he grumbled, “I’m doing my best here, but this isn’t exactly my favorite way to spend an afternoon.”

Y/N took a deep breath, keeping her frustration in check. “Matt, I understand it’s not the most exciting part of the job, but it’s important for the team’s image. We need to get this right.”

Matt didn’t seem to take her seriously. He continued to make things difficult for everyone, giving half-hearted poses, shooting dirty looks at the camera, and maintaining his scowl. The photographer was visibly annoyed, and Y/N could feel the tension rising.

“Matt, if you can’t cooperate, we’re going to have to reschedule,” Y/N said, her voice firm.

Matt stopped his antics and looked at Y/N, realizing she was serious. “Alright, alright. I’ll play along. But can we make this quick? I’m freezing out here.”

With a reluctant nod, Y/N directed Matt through the remaining poses, this time with a bit more cooperation. Though his attitude was far from perfect, he made an effort to follow directions and get the shots done. Y/N was relieved to finish the session and hoped that Matt’s cooperation would improve with time.

Matt’s POV:

A few days after my awkward encounter with Y/N at the photoshoot, I was at the rink, trying to shake off the frustration of another rough practice. As I was heading to the locker room, Trouba stopped me in the hallway, looking a bit more serious than usual.

“Dude, you should leave poor Y/N alone,” he said, shaking his head. “You’re driving her crazy, and not in the right way.”

I raised an eyebrow, confused. “What are you talking about? I haven’t done anything that bad.”

“Really?” Jacob replied, his tone indicating he was unimpressed. “I’ve seen you giving her a hard time. She’s not just some intern; she’s part of the team’s media and marketing department. You’re making it difficult for her to do her job.”

I shrugged, trying to downplay it. “I didn’t realize it was such a big deal. I thought I was just being straightforward.”

“It’s not about being straightforward,” Jacob explained. “It’s about showing some respect. She’s working hard behind the scenes, and she’s under enough pressure already. You don’t want to be the guy who makes things worse for her.”

I sighed, realizing he had a point. I hadn’t thought about how my behavior might be affecting Y/N. “Alright, I get it. I’ll try to be more considerate.”

Trouba nodded, seeming satisfied. “Good. Trust me, it’ll make things easier in the long run.” He started walking back toward the locker room but stopped and turned around to face me again. “And if you have a crush on her, that second-grade bullshit needs to stop.” He winked at me before finally leaving.

As Trouba walked away, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I needed to make things right with Y/N. It was clear that my attitude needed to change, and I had to start finding a way to work with her, not against her.

And maybe Jacob’s right; I might have a little—just the tiniest—crush on Y/N. She’s a gorgeous, smart, and driven girl, and because of my little game, she probably won’t give me the time of day. But first things first, I need to turn around the relationship we currently have, or rather, the lack thereof.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

The next day, Matt found himself lingering outside the media office, trying to figure out how to approach Y/N. Apologizing wasn't something he was used to, especially when he wasn’t sure how she’d react. But he knew he had to start somewhere.

Y/N was at her desk, headphones on, focused on editing a video from the previous game. She hadn’t noticed Matt standing in the doorway until he cleared his throat, causing her to look up in surprise.

“Oh, hey,” Y/N said, pulling off her headphones and sitting up straighter. “What’s up?”

Matt rubbed the back of his neck, feeling a bit awkward. “Hey, I just wanted to talk to you about the other day. You know, at the photoshoot.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow, clearly curious where this was going. “Okay…”

“I realize I’ve been a bit of a jerk,” Matt admitted, his voice slightly strained. “I didn’t mean to make things harder for you, and I’m sorry for being difficult.”

Y/N blinked, taken aback by his sudden apology. It was the last thing she expected from him. “Well, that’s… unexpected,” she said, not quite sure how to respond. “But I appreciate it.”

Matt nodded, feeling a small weight lift off his shoulders. “I know I’ve been giving you a hard time, but I want to make it up to you. Maybe we can start over?”

Y/N studied him for a moment, searching for any signs of insincerity. To her surprise, Matt seemed genuinely contrite. “Alright,” she said finally, offering a small smile. “I’m willing to give it a shot.”

Relief washed over Matt, and he smiled back. “Great. Maybe I can help out with some of the social media stuff, or anything else you need?”

Y/N chuckled, the idea of Matt willingly helping with TikToks and Instagram posts was amusing. “We’ll see about that,” she said teasingly. “But I’ll definitely let you know if there’s anything you can do.”

Matt grinned, feeling a strange sense of satisfaction. “Deal.”

As he left the office, Matt couldn’t help but feel a bit more relieved. Maybe he’d been too quick to judge Y/N, and maybe, just maybe, there was a chance to turn things around.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°|

Over the next few weeks, Matt made a conscious effort to be more cooperative and approachable, especially when it came to Y/N’s work. It wasn’t always easy—old habits die hard—but he was determined to keep his word. Slowly but surely, the tension between them started to ease.

Y/N, for her part, noticed the change in Matt’s behavior. He was still cocky and sarcastic, but there was a noticeable shift in his attitude. He wasn’t as dismissive or difficult as before, and he even started to show some interest in the work she was doing. It was a refreshing change, and it made her job a little less stressful.

One day, as they were wrapping up a content planning meeting, Y/N decided to take a chance. “You know, Matt, we’re shooting a new series of TikToks next week,” she said casually. “We could use a player who’s good on camera… Interested?”

Matt smirked, recognizing the playful challenge in her voice. “Oh, so now you need my help?”

Y/N rolled her eyes but smiled. “Only if you’re up for it.”

Matt pretended to think it over, then nodded. “Alright, I’m in. But only if you promise to make me look good.”

Y/N laughed. “Deal. But you’ll have to take direction without any complaints this time.”

“Fine,” Matt agreed, holding out his hand. “Shake on it?”

Y/N shook his hand, feeling a sense of accomplishment. It was a small victory, but it felt like a step in the right direction. Maybe, just maybe, this internship wouldn’t be so unbearable after all.

And as for Matt? Well, he found himself looking forward to working with Y/N a lot more than he’d expected.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°

As the weeks passed, the collaboration between Y/N and Matt grew smoother, and so did their relationship. They began to banter more playfully, their exchanges losing the tension they once had. Y/N started to see a different side of Matt, the side that wasn’t all arrogance and bravado, but someone who was actually fun to be around. 

Matt, too, couldn’t help but notice how much he enjoyed spending time with Y/N. Her sharpness, her determination, and the way she handled everything with grace under pressure all intrigued him. The more he got to know her, the more he found himself wanting to be around her.

One evening, after a long day of content creation and practice, Y/N was finishing up some last-minute edits in the media room. The office was quiet, with most of the staff having gone home. She was so engrossed in her work that she didn’t notice Matt walk in.

“Hey,” Matt’s voice broke the silence, startling Y/N slightly.

“Oh, fuck!” Y/N yelped, “ Matt, you scared me!” she exclaimed, laughing as she turned to face him. “What are you doing here so late?”

Matt leaned against the doorframe, a small smile playing on his lips. “I was just wondering if you wanted to grab a bite to eat. It’s been a long day, and I figured you could use a break.”

Y/N blinked in surprise. This was the first time Matt had ever suggested something like this. “Are you asking me out on a dinner date?” she teased, raising an eyebrow.

Matt chuckled, his expression softening. “Yeah, I guess I am. What do you say?”

Y/N hesitated for a moment, then smiled warmly. “Sure, I’d like that.”

They ended up at a cozy little diner not too far from the arena, the kind of place that felt welcoming and unpretentious. As they settled into a booth, the conversation flowed easily. They talked about everything, from their families and childhood memories to their hopes and dreams for the future.

For the first time, Y/N saw the genuine person behind the cocky exterior. Matt was funny, thoughtful, and surprisingly down-to-earth. The more they talked, the more she found herself drawn to him. 

And Matt? He couldn’t stop thinking about how beautiful Y/N looked when she laughed, or how her eyes lit up when she talked about something she was passionate about. He realized that this wasn’t just a crush anymore, he was falling for her, and hard.

As they walked out of the diner, the night air cool and crisp, Matt felt a wave of nervous anticipation. He knew he didn’t want this night to end just yet.

“Y/N,” Matt began, stopping in front of her. “I know we didn’t exactly start off on the right foot, but… I really like you. And I want to see where this could go.”

Y/N looked up at him, her heart skipping a beat. She could see the sincerity in his eyes, and it made her heart swell. “Matt, I like you too,” she admitted, a soft smile spreading across her face. “I wasn’t sure at first, but… you’ve shown me that there’s more to you than I thought.”

Matt took a step closer, his hand reaching out to gently tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “So… what now?” he asked, his voice low and hopeful.

Y/N’s smile widened as she closed the distance between them. “Now,” she said softly, “we see where this goes.”

With that, Matt leaned in, his lips brushing against hers in a tender, sweet kiss. It was soft at first, almost hesitant, as if both of them were testing the waters. But as Y/N responded, the kiss deepened, filled with a warmth and affection that had been building between them for weeks.

When they finally pulled apart, both of them were breathless, but smiling. Matt rested his forehead against hers, his arms wrapped around her waist.

“I’m really glad you didn’t let me mess this up,” Matt whispered, his voice filled with emotion.

“Me too,” Y/N replied, her eyes shining with happiness. “I think we make a pretty good team, don’t you?”

Matt grinned, leaning in to kiss her again. “Yeah, we really do.”

As they stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms under the soft glow of the streetlights, it was clear that this was the beginning of something special—something neither of them had expected, but both of them were more than ready to embrace.

[nychta-luxury]

A Strange God

Gen Z reader

soft au - reader is an adult -

Warning: Not proofread, dark jokes, mostly comedy rather then serious, swearing.

-------------------------------------------

You were sitting in you're room playing genshin, doing your usual things like commissions, Tea pot, exploration, farming.

Until something strange happened your device wasn't responding. I don't mean the screen froze oh no no. You can still move your mouse however the game itself is moving on its own

"Oh hell naw I didn't sign up for this demonic shit. " You say as you back away from the device. Your main is still moving and the worst part is, its not even part of any idle animation or something you have seen before. You don't care if it's a hacker or some possession shit, EITHER ONE IS BAD

Then it hits you, you starting to get light headed, vision becoming blurry, you start on panicking. What the hell was wrong with your body just when you were about to reach for a phone you black out.

You are now concouice though haven't opened your eyes yet, it feels... Very peaceful your not sure why.. The birds are singing, the smell of flowers in the air, the grass on the ground

"THE GRASS ON THE GROUND?!" You instantly opened your eyes.

"Why is this grass brighter than my future." You say as you look at the neon like grass "Did people kidnap me to touch grass like a normal human being?" Look as much as unbelievable that suggestion was, you have been told to randomly touch grass more than your salary combined.

"You know what fuck it, it's like-" You look at the sky "I'm going to pretend I know what the time is, however I can say it's too early to care." You lay back down, ah how peaceful. Too peaceful, but who cares you can pretend to be in some anime and lay down at the grass.

"AHHH IS THAT A FUCKING BUG" You instantly sat up from the ground, honestly what were you thinking

"GET THE HELL AWAY SATAN SPAWN."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay now that's over with. You look up at the sky "Okay universe we both know you will fuck me over one way or another. I know damn well that the bugs were only the beginning." You sigh, done with your anime protagonist moment and reach out to grab your phone.

"Where's my phone...?"

"NO NO NOO," you say panicking "WHERE IS MY LIFE PURPOSE?!" You scream "I AM STILL WAITING FOR TCF MANHWA TO UPDATE!!"

It's been 30 minutes and you are still upset you don't have your phone. YOU DON'T CARE IF SOMEONE KIDNAPPED YOU AS LONG AS THEY GAVE YOU A PHONE OR BE AN IPAD KID.

"Ugh, what's the purpose of life if it isn't to update that one story you never continued in 2020." You say dramatically, if anyone was watching they would think you just lost a loved one.

you felt a small tickle on your foot, and your -20 IQ brain thought that it might be a spider... but suddenly you had gained 1 IQ and decided to actually look at what it was instead of kicking your feet aimlessly.

Turns out it was was a squirrel, thank goodness you didn't kick it. Let's just say tiktok traumatized you with too much information about animals..

The squirrel was just cuddling up to you, your weren't really sure why. It was then you realize your surroundings. "Why the hell am I in some old ass ruin??" Now your confused, you look around the area to see where you are perhaps you might even recognize it who knows? You can see a huge structure, it kinda looks like a crossbow, your not quite sure how to describe it. It feels very familiar for some reason, you can see carving marks on it, it read "Seed of stories, brought by the wind, and cultivated by time." huh for an ancient structure it sure had modern English. Wait. That's not English. How are you even reading that??? there is only one explanation for this. "I am some fictional work that doesn't even make sense, like 90% of fantasy reincarnation stories even if the protagonist was transmigrated and not reincarnated, but they use it anyway to sound cool." You say with a serious face, "Lmao as if that was true" You feel something on your shoulder, you immediately turn to what it was just to find the same squirrel just climbed up to your shoulder and now just cuddling you. "You are so lucky my reflexes didn't kick in, I almost throw you off my shoulders yk." "Why am I even talking to a squirrel? gonna be Snow White 2.0 ig" suddenly you hear something drop, you turn behind you and see- IS THAT AMBER???? looks like she dropped her bow, why does she look so surprised? Is it your outfit maybe? Maybe even the hair?? Anyways you just walked over and picked up ambers bow for her "Yo, you uh dropped this" "YOUR GRACE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO PICK IT UP FOR ME!!" "Wait tf you mean your grace." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Welp Gen z reader popped up in my mind so here- I decided not to add to many gen z jokes just yet since it is a little short story, might make a part 2 if this post goes well-

[familyabolisher]

hi if u don’t mind me asking, could u please elaborate on your thoughts on the critique of contemporary anti-intellectualism (specifically on social media)? i’m legitimately curious and enjoy a lot of ur analysis and commentary i mean this in good faith :)

Broadly speaking, the philosophical concept of anti-intellectualism tends to critically describe the ideological + rhetorical relegation of intellectual production to an elitist practice fundamentally at odds with the interests of the layman; and, crucially, the treatment of these categories as fixities. I disagree with the propositions of that philosophical discourse as well, but that’s not always the form that the discourse takes on this website. On here, ‘anti-intellectualism’ is more of a vague catch-all used to describe anything from people who express frustration with the literary canon & mainstream schooling in ways that don’t coddle the sensibilities of people with literature degrees to people who come out with outright fascistic views on provocative art; it attempts to corral what are in fact very disparate positions and perspectives under the umbrella of insufficient ‘intellect,’ often shorthanded to ‘reading comprehension’ or ‘media literacy’ (or ‘[in]curiosity,’ a new favourite) without any materialist investigation into what we mean when we talk about intellect and literacy and a lack thereof or whether this is a politically expedient description of the dynamic[s] in question.

When I say materialism, I mean it in the Marxist sense, ie. as a counter to idealism—because what’s being described here is a fundamentally idealist (and therefore useless) position. The discourse of anti-intellectualism as it exists on this website relies on idealist propositions—people lack curiosity, they lack interest, they are ‘lazy,’ they are ‘illiterate’ where ‘illiterate’ is not a value-neutral statement about one’s relationship to a socially constituted ‘literacy’ but communicating a moral indictment, at its worst they are ‘stupid,’ ‘idiots’—these descriptors rely on an assumption of immutable internal properties rather than providing a materialist description for why things are the way that they are. These aren’t actionable descriptors; at best they’re evasive because they circumvent serious interrogation of the conditions they’re describing, at worst they’re harbingers of an inclination towards eugenicist rhetoric. The discourse casts those who are ‘illiterate’—which in this capacity means those who fail to perform conventional literacy, who lack a traditional education, who don’t demonstrate sufficient interest in classic literature—or the more unkind ‘stupid’ (which, frankly, is what people want to say when they say ‘illiterate’ or ‘incurious’ anyway, lmao) as socially disposable and places the onus of changing one’s behaviour (so as to not be cast as illiterate/incurious/stupid) on them rather than asking what conditions have produced XYZ discourse of social disposability and responding with compassion and ethical diligence; I hope I don’t have to explain why this is eugenicist.

The discourse also lacks an ability to coherently describe what is meant by the ‘intellectualism’ in question—after all, merely appealing to ‘intellectualism’ is a similarly idealist rhetorical move if you don’t have the material grounding to back it up—and indeed tends to dismiss legitimate critiques of intellectual + cultural production as ‘anti-intellectual.’ People love to talk about ‘literacy,’ but don’t like expounding on what they’re actually describing when they do so—the selection of traits and actions that come together to constitute a correct demonstration of ‘literacy’ are built on the bedrock of eg. an ability to thrive within the school system (a mechanism of social control and stratification), fluently speak the dominant language by which this ‘literacy’ is being assessed (in online spaces like Tumblr this is usually English), and engage with the ‘right’ texts in the ‘right’ ways where ‘right’ means ‘invested with legitimacy and authority by the governing body of the academy.’ Literacy is used as a metric of assimilation into hegemonic society by which immigrant and working-class children are made rhetorically disposable unless they demonstrate their ability to integrate into the hegemonic culture (linked post talks about immigrant families being rendered ‘illiterate’ as a tactic of racism in France, but the same applies to the US, UK, etc); similarly, disabled people who for whatever reason will never achieve the level of ‘literacy’ required to not have Tumblr users doing vagueposts about how you deserve a eugenicist death for watching a kids’ show are by this discourse rendered socially disposable, affirming the paradigms which already make up their experience under a social system which reifies ableism in order to sustain itself. (This includes, by the way, the genre of posts making fun of the idea that someone with ADHD could ever struggle with reading theory.) ‘Literacy’ as the ability to understand and respond to a text is difficult and dispersed according to disparate levels of social access, and a lack of what we call literacy is incredibly shameful; any movement towards liberation (and specifically liberatory pedagogy) worth its salt needs to challenge the stigma against illiteracy, but this website’s iteration of ‘anti-intellectualism’ discourse seems to only want to reaffirm it.

Similarly, the discourse dismisses out of hand efforts to give a materialist critique of the academy and the body of texts that make up the ‘canon’—I’m thinking of a post I saw literally this morning positing a hypothetical individual’s disinterest in reading canonical (“classic”) literature as an “anti-intellectual” practice which marked them as an “idiot.” (Obviously, cf. above comments re. ‘stupidity,’ ‘idiocy’ as eugenicist constructions.) People who will outright call themselves Marxists seem to get incredibly uncomfortable at the suggestion that there are individuals for whom the literary canon is not even slightly interesting and who will never in their lives engage with it or desire to engage with it, and this fact does not delegitimise their place in revolutionary thinking and organising (frankly, in many areas, it strengthens it); they seem determined to continue to defer to the canon as a signifier of authority and therefore value, rather than acknowledging its role as a marker of class and classed affects and a rubric by which civility (cf. linked post above) could be enforced. (I believe the introduction to Chris Baldick’s The Social Mission of English Criticism touches on this dimension of literary studies as a civilising mission of sorts, as well as expounding on the ways in which ‘literary studies’ as we presently understand it is a nineteenth-century phenomenon responding to the predictable nineteenth-century crises and contradictions.) People will defer to, for example, Dumas, Baldwin, Morrison, to contravene the idea that the literary canon is made up of ‘straight white men,’ without appreciating that this is a hugely condescending way to talk about their work, that this collapses three very different writers into the singular category of ‘Black canonical writer’ and thus stymies engagement with their work at any level other than that of 'Black canonical literature' (why else put Dumas and Morrison in the same sentence, unless as a cheap rhetorical ‘gotcha’? I like both but they’re completely different writers lmfao), and that this excises from the sphere of legitimacy those Black writers who don’t make it into the authorising space of the canon; and, of course, reaffirms the canon’s authenticity and dismisses out of hand the critique of loyalty to hegemony that the ‘straight white men’ aphorism rightly imposes.

The discourse operates on a unilateral scale by which the more ‘literacy’ (ie. ability to speak the language of the literati) one has, the greater their moral worth, and a lack of said ‘literacy’ indicates the inverse. This overlooks the ways in which the practice of literary criticism wholly in line with what these people would call ‘intellectualism’ has historically been wielded as a tactic of reactionary conservatism; one only has to look at the academic output of Harold Bloom for examples of this. People will often pay lipservice to the hegemony of the academy and the practices by which only certain individuals are allowed access to intellectual production (stratified along classed + racialised lines, of course), but fail to really internalise this idea in understanding that the critical practices they afford a significant degree of legitimacy are inextricable from the academy from which they emerged, and that we can and should be imagining alternative forms of pedagogy and criticism taking place away from sites which restrict access based on allegiance to capital. Part of my communism means believing in the abolition of the university; this is not an ‘anti-intellectual’ position but a straightforwardly materialist one.

A final core problem with the 'anti-intellectualism' discourse is that it's obscurantist. As I explained above, it posits the problem with eg. poor engagement with theoretical concepts, challenging art, etc., to be one of 'intellect' and 'curiosity,' idealist rather than materialist states. In practice, the reasons behind what gets cast as 'anti-intellectualism' are very disparate. Sometimes, we're talking about a situation wherein (as I explained above) someone lacks 'literacy'; sometimes we're talking about the reason for someone's refusal to engage with and interpret art with care and deference being one of bigotry (eg. racist dismissals of non-white artists' work, misogynistic devaluing of women's work, etc.); sometimes we're talking about a reactive discomfort with marginalised people communicating difficult concepts online as a 'know-your-place' response (eg. backlash against 'jargon' on here is almost always attacking posts from/about marginalised people talking about their oppression, with the attacks coming from people who have failed to properly understand that oppression; I've been called a jargonistic elitist for talking about antisemitism, I've seen similar things happen to mutuals who talk about racism and transmisogyny). All of these are incredibly different situations that require incredibly different responses; the person who doesn't care to engage with a text in a way that an English undergrad might because doing so doesn't interest them or they lack the requisite skill level is not comparable to the person who doesn't care to engage with a text because they don't respect the work of a person of colour enough to do so. Collapsing these things under the aegis of 'anti-intellectualism' lacks explanatory power and fails to provide a sufficient actionable response.

Ultimately, the discourse is made up of a lot of people who are very high on their own capabilities when it comes to literary analysis (which, as others have pointed out, seems to be the only arena where all this ever takes place, despite the conventional understanding of ‘media literacy’ referring as much to a discerning eye for propaganda and misinformation as an ability to churn out a cute little essay on Don Quixote) and have managed to find an acceptable outlet for their dislike of anyone who lacks the same, and have provided retroactive justification in the form of the claim that not only is [a specific form of] literary analysis [legible through deference to the authority of the literary canon & the scholarship of the nineteenth century and onward surrounding it] possible for everyone, it is in fact necessary in order to access the full breadth of one’s humanity such that an absence thereof reveals an individual as subhuman and thus socially disposable. A failure to be sufficiently literate is only ever a choice and a personal failing, which is how this discourse escapes accountability for the obviously bigoted presumptions upon which it rests. In this, all materialism is done away with; compassion is done away with, as it becomes possible to describe the multiplicity of reasons why someone cannot or does not demonstrate ‘literacy’ in X, Y or Z ways in the sum total of a couple of adjectives; nothing productive comes of this discourse but a reassertion of the conditions of hegemony in intellectual practice and the bolstering of the smugness of a few people at the expense of alienating everyone else.

As I’ve said countless times before, the way to counteract what we might perceive as ‘incuriosity’ or disinterest in challenging texts is to talk about these challenging texts and our approaches to them as often as we can, to make the pedagogical practices that are usually kept behind the walls of the academy as widely accessible as possible (and to adjust our pedagogy beyond the confines of ideological hegemony that the academy imposes), and to encourage a culture by which people feel empowered to share their thoughts, discuss, ask questions, and explore without being made to feel ashamed for not understanding something. The people who cry ‘anti-intellectualism’ because they saw someone on Tiktok express a disinterest in reading Jane Eyre are accomplishing none of this.

[ilovebuckers5]

dating nika muhl hcs

(warning this is mainly Nika x Fem reader so I apologize)

talking stage-

enemies to lovers no doubt. everyone would talk about Nika around you and all the girls on Nika's team would point you out once Nika came clean about liking you.

"look its lover girl" was mainly said by KK as she points in your direction tapping on Nika's shoulder. Nika's usual reaction is to just smack her shoulder.

once she actually got the guts to talk to you, you were so terrified when she came up to you. all of your friends said she was a more aggressive basketball player (true.) but they were wrong when they said that Nika's personality is the same as when shes on court.

the more Nika approached you each day, you fell in love more. finally you guys got each other's numbers and socials. a text was thrown around every couple days until you guys actually started to text everyday and called each other nicknames here and there.

both of your guys' friends couldn't get off your dicks about it. nudging your shoulders when the smallest smile shows up on one or the others face. they treated your talking stage like a highschool crush.

beginning of the relationship -

nika seemed tough on the outside around you but alone or with her friends she was a hot mess. everyday it would be something like "I swear to God if there's another girl-"

dont ask me why but you initiated the relationship. I just feel it in my balls.

the second you guys started dating she ripped out her phone and texted the team groupchat. the rest of that week all she could do was rant about you even though she tried her hardest not to.

it was very awkward in the beginning... a lot of like awkward kisses on the cheeks and weirdly long hugs. it took a while to get used to but once you did it was perfect.

this is obviously a forever thing but she has the most protective personality to ever exist. I mean when someone even says your name and any negative word she blows up inside. if someone gives you a dirty look she gives a FILTHY STARE back. she doesn't play when it comes to her girl

getting comfy -

once the moment came, she would spend almost every night sleeping in your dorm/apartment.

started to get more soft around you instead of tough guy.

holds onto your waist all the time like there is not a moment where her fingers aren't curled around your hips.

calls you all sorts of nicknames in English and croatian (only when you guys are alone though)

she does her own skincare routine and makeup and stuff but will ALWAYS let you do your routine on her.

makeovers are a must.

she can never pick between big spoon or little spoon so you guys just go with whatever that night brings.

loves to play with your hair when you are doing homework.

even though she is completely capable of distracting you while you do work or homework or anything serious, she loves helping you out.

arguments (sadly)

ok I'm dreading this part.

you guys only argue over like actual serious things.

tries to not accuse you of anything but fails most of the time

attempts to hide the fact that arguments are her literal worst fear.

after any argument she goes to the bathroom and kind of slams the door not too much tho.

has her hands on her face and is pacing around the room

the reason she leaves is so that you don't see any emotions she picked up from the argument.

most of the time she leaves to go cry and then tries to ignore you for the night.

the moment you go up to her door she cant even look you in the eyes.

you both just stand there for a second before she pulls you into a hug and keeps you there for a while

(angry sex after)

ok guys that's it for now... maybe I'll write more later if I'm feeling up to it.

[factorydefaultlu]

Hello! hope you are well (english is not my first language) could you do a fic, where the reader first doesn't like the way aemond looks? like the other ladies of the court, he begins to cover his eyes so as not to scare them away, something like the beauty and the beast

Aemond Targaryen x Fem!Reader Pt. I

Pt. II

"He only has one eye, so don't stare." the Septa said to the Lady. She had arrived in King's Landing just hours before, to be a handmaid to Princess Helaena. "What happened to him?" the Lady asked, "That's none of your business, and it would be rude to ask." the Septa said sharply. The lady was led to the great hall. She was introduced to Helaena and Queen Alicent, she immediately hit it off with the princess. They would be fast friends indeed.

Soon the large double doors swung open, a man with short silver hair sauntered in; He seemed drunk. The man that followed him made her gasp, a long jagged scar ran across his left eye. In its place was a bright sapphire jewel, glittering in the sunlight coming in through the windows. The man who she now assumed was Prince Aemond had heard her small gasp, and turned his head as if to hide it.

The Lady had settled in to her new position as handmaid, Helaena was grateful to have someone indulge in her interests with. The Lady soon got to know her family as well, the king, Viserys, was as absent as a father could be. The queen Alicent was paranoid and always watching over her shoulder, although she at least spent some time with her children. Aegon was a drunken, perverted twat. He had made a few remarks, and a few moves on her, although he quickly stopped after a few day. Perhaps he got bored of her. As for Aemond, she never saw much of him, and when she did she didn't dare look him in the face. He always seemed angry, she couldn't ever pinpoint why. This made her afraid of him, she always walked on eggshells in his presence.

Months had passed she heard much gossip around the Keep. Many other ladies regarded Aemond as ugly, and undesirable. They would always say how he would never find a wife, his face was too unfortunate. The Lady thought their words were harsh, yes he had an awful scar and one eye but isn't love about emotion and personality instead of looks. Though, what Lord would marry his daughter to someone that looks like that.

One morning during tea with Helaena, Aemond had had come to the garden to relay a message to his sister. The Lady noticed and new leather patch now covered his eye, hiding the worst of the scar. That was the first time she had looked in his face, she had lived so close to him for months and for the first time she was seeing him. She noticed the fine lines of his face, the curve of his jaw, the color of his real eye. A beautiful shade of blue, she had never noticed before; how could she? Aemond finally looked away from his sister, catching the lady staring. He seemed shocked at first, and then angry. He whipped around and quickly left. "I am sorry my lady but my mother wishes to see me." Helaena brought the Lady's attention back to her. "Oh its no problem really, I will see you soon." she kissed the princesses cheek and let her leave.

The Lady wandered the halls as she waited for her princess. She soon came to a door that was slightly ajar, curiosity took her over as she peaked in. She saw Aemond and Aegon deep in conversation, she stayed by the wall beside the door. She didn't mean to eavesdrop, she just wondered what the two princes could possibly discuss.

"She thinks your ugly, all the women do." Aegon said flatly, Aemond scoffed. "You don't know the way she looked at me. I think the patch is working. Women actually look at my face now."

"Yeah but even when you marry you'd never be able to take that thing off, you really think a woman would let you fuck her without it?" Aegon was always cruel to his siblings, everyone around him really. It didn't shock the lady to hear him speaking to his brother that way. She thought it was unfair to say something like that though, if she were to fall in love with him she would certainly be willing to bed him. She froze in her thoughts, realizing what had crossed her mind.

No, she couldn't love him right?

[isuckatwritingsobenice]

Can you do Alastor x Hispanic singer reader? Possibly Fem reader? She could be like Selena or La India ( if you know who they are, if not its fine! )

A/n: Alastor’s type is singers 100%, he’s in love with the stage and that includes the people in it, and as a latina woman I’m excited for this

Warnings: Mentions of death, Slight! Obsession (from fans), SFW all around, Alastor is bad at feelings

Songs you can listen too while reading: Captive Heart by Selena. I could fall in love by Selena. Ese Hombre by La India. Vivir Lo Nuestro by La India. Ocean by Karol G. Not Too Late by Kali Uchis.

Navigation!! // Masterlist!!

Alastor doesn’t know spanish to save the life of him

but what he DOES know is french, and THAT a for some reason makes more sense to him when translating that into spanish ( the world may never know why )

He doesn’t realize you SING spanish music at first

The two of you meet through Charlie, you’d wanted to get rehabilitated and she introduced you to Alastor

when you spoke to him he noticed you sounded, off almost? like you were struggling a bit to speak

he didn’t question it, brushing it off with a shrug until Charlie asked you how you died

you explain to her you had gotten killed by a fan, who was crazy in the worst way possible

cue alastor like 🤨🤨 huh???

he acts like he doesn’t overheat on the conversation and decides to keep it to himself

until crowds of people are at the hotel asking for you and now suddenly your nowhere to be seen so now he’s really suspicious like ??

he sends his shadows after you, and they tell him your hiding in a storage closet practically freaking out

charlie manages to get the crowd to leave and when you do come back your uncharacteristically quiet

it’s then Alastor hears from Angel that your basically one of the biggest singers to die so far and suddenly the crowds showing up makes sense

Charlie can’t help it and says with all the attention the hotel got she wants you to hold a show to bring more people here and though the timing is horrible you agree

alastor is more interested in how this show is gonna go

UNTIL he sees how much you change on stage

you look so much happier, more at peace and while your fairly chipper this is different from the regular, it’s nice

he’s admittedly blown away by your voice, because the vocals? he’s shocked, he definitely didn’t expect that

he also wonders how your singing in english is better than your speaking

he does like your music though and when the show is over and you finally settle down again he’s at your side asking all sorts of questions

like where did you learn to sing like that ?

what’s your favorite song to sing?

how do you sing better in english but struggle speaking it in conversation?

can you teach him? You answer them all casually and tell him it’s just something you’ve always done

He begins to encourage that you sing again, to keep your career going, your fairly young, you still have talent, you should

and reluctantly you agree

out of the two of you, you’re actually the one to confess first through song ;)

“I only have a few songs left for tonight.” You say into the microphone. The fans cheer and the lights focus on you once more. You smile before the music starts up again. “This song means more to me than when I wrote it. Now it means something more because I have someone to care about.” You say again, and you stop letting the music play for a bit. At the sound of the music playing for the song the fans cheer, excited once more. “I could lose my heart tonight If you don't turn and walk away. Cause the way I feel I might, lose control and let you stay.”

In the stands, Charlie and Vaggie smile to each other enjoying the song while Angel just silently listens. Husk is drunk out of his mind with a bottle of booze while Nifty is listening contently. Alastor is watching, now having questions. Who are you talking about? The crew is straight in front of the stage, just a bit higher up above ground in the stadium. “And I know it's not right, and I guess I should try, to do what I should do. But I could fall in love, fall in love with you. I could fall in love with you” You’re now at the front of the stage, and Alastor can’t tell if your staring at him or the people around him.

“Siempre estoy soñando en ti. Besando mis labios, acariciando mi piel. Abrazándome con ansias locas. Imaginando que me amas. Como yo podía amar a ti.” Suddenly he’s grateful for all those spanish lessons you gave him while writing your songs, because now he knows what you’re saying. I'm always dreaming of you. Kissing my lips, caressing my skin. hugging me with crazy longing. imagining that you love me, how could I love you.

The song ends not to long after that, and there are only a few more songs before the show ends. Charlie and the rest of the group meet you backstage to congratulate you. “You did amazing Y/n! Thank you so much.” Charlie says as she runs over to you hugging you. You smile and hug her back, Vaggie handing you a bouquet of flowers. The ride back to the hotel is relatively quiet, small talk here and there, but everyone is so tired they’re all ready to knock out.

Except for Alastor who is scrambling nonsense around in his mind.

Why did he feel like you were talking to him?

Were you?

when you get back to the hotel you excuse yourself to your room, getting un-ready

and before you’re about to go to bed you hear a knock at your door

you open it to see alastor

“Hello my dear! I wanted to discuss something with you.” You stare a bit nervous before nodding.

“Would you like to accompany me on an evening stroll?” He asks, and you feel a bit excited.

“Of course, let me get a sweater first.”

When you come back you shut your room door and the two of you begin walking down the hall.

It isn’t until you leave the hotel you speak again. “so what did you want to discuss?” You ask and he just smiles wider.

“I wanted to praise you’re preformance tonight. It was truly astounding! Why it put poor old Annette to shame!” He complimented, beaming a smile. You pat yourself on the back mentally before thanking him.

“Alastor, I think we both know what needs to be said.” you speak up, sensing his nervousness. He stiffens before stopping entirely.

“I believe you’re aware of where my feelings reside for you.” You say, trying to carefully speak to make sure you make more sense. He just nods, and you sigh.

“I understand if you don’t… feel the same. I am content with moving on and forgetting this-“

“Why that’s no way to live dear.” Alastor says, a smile on his face. His staff disappears and he takes your hands in his, twirling you before bringing you close. “Podría enamorarme de ti.”

[eustasskidagenda]

I'm bored and my head is full of One Piece stuff. So I decided to join the old N$FW alphabet trend, with my beloved, Eustass Kid. English is not my first language, so sorry for the mistakes.

WC : 3869

A: Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

If you’re just a one night stand, Kid’s aftercare is nonexistent. He will just tell if your session was nice or shitty (with his usual brutal honesty, so sorry not sorry if it hurts your feelings), he’ll maybe make a comment about how good your ass was and then, he’ll bark you to leave his room, or if he’s at your place, he’ll leave without any more word. Do not expect any form of kindness from him, this man is rough by nature after all.

However, if you too are engaged into a relationship, he’ll need some time to cool and calm down, so don’t talk to him or try to cuddle with him during this time, it’ll only annoys him. After that, he’ll get up and bring you a glass of water and something to clean you up. He knows he’s rough during sex and wants to make sure you’re doing okay, so feel free to ask him anything else. Once you’re comfortable and all your needs are fulfilled, he’ll lay next to you and give you his honest opinion regarding your session. He’ll let you rest your head on his chest, while he runs his fingers through your hair. Kid is not good with pillow talk (and with any talk in general), I think he’s more the type of guy to quickly fall asleep (and snore loudly). If you’re in a talkative mood, he’ll try to keep his eyes open but end up falling asleep quickly anyway. 

B: Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)  

On himself, bro is a fan of his own dick, I think everyone in the fandom agree with this fact. He knows it huge and he’s proud of it. I mean, he makes women cum all around it or gag on, of course he’s proud. Actually, you know how to boost his ego? When he undresses in front of you for the first time, ask him if his cock will fit into you with a worried face. He will be so fucking proud.

Another objective fact, this man is a fan of his torso. I mean, the shirts he’s wearing are useless as fuck, bro just wants to flex with his muscles. 

With his partner, Kid is in love with their ass. The whole Eustass Kid agenda agrees with this headcanon. He wants to see your booty all the time : spank it,  grab it, makes it jiggle, even bites on those juicy cheeks. Damn, his hand(s) is/are always glued to your glute. 

C: Cum (Anything to do with cum)  

Well, regarding his cum itself, it’s on the thicker side and there’s quite a lot of it. Definitely not really tasty, but overall, it’s not the worst taste. 

Kid loves to see his partner covered in his cum, its fuel his ego immensely. His favorite spot are your ass, your stomach and your face. If he cum during a blowjob, he asks you to pull your tongue out and will cum on It before making sure you swallow every drop. 

With a one night stand, Kid will NEVER cum inside. He’s already a Kid lol, having another one kiddo is not in his plans. Actually, if you ask him to cum inside, he’ll get mad at you and starts to think you want to have a child with him, so the mood is totally ruined.

If you’re his lover, he’ll maybe cum inside you, depending to your menstruation cycle. He just loves seeing his seed slowly flowing out of your pussy and stuffed his fingers to put every drop right back inside of you. 

D:Dirty Secret

Well it’s not a dirty secret but considering how cocky and arrogant he always acts, it is for him. The fact is, sometime, Kid likes when you take all the initiatives and do all the work. Yeah, I know, at the first look it doesn’t match his energy, but sometimes, Kid can get pretty tired, especially since he lost his arm. He rarely use his metal arm in bed because he’s afraid of hurting you. And doing everything with one arm can be exhausting from time to time. So please, offer him some relieve, be a good girl and ride him. 

Plus, of course, Kid loves anal sex. Fucking, fingering or licking that ass is a major turn on for him. Maybe some people find anal sex dirty, but not him. He LOVES how naughty it is, how tight an asshole is and how flustered his partner is when he spreads their ass cheek to lick their hole. 

And, since Kid is a punk, you CAN’T convince me this man have a single heterosexual bone in his body. Kid is not straight, I can smell it. I think he’s bisexual.So he often has fantasies regarding a threesome with a man. If you’re a one night stand, he doesn’t mind sharing because he just doesn’t care about you. If you’re his lover, he’ll maybe try if you insist on a lot, but will fix a lot of rules, like the other man can’t kiss you or put their dick inside your pussy. Your pussy is his and only his.

E: Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Considering how much Kid cares about his reputation, he knows what he’s into doing in bed. Sure, during his first times, it was a bit messy, but he’s a fast learner and good at following his instincts.

He also has no shame to ask you to touch yourself, so he knows what you like and how to make you cum as many times at possible. 

Overall, Kid doesn’t have a lot of experience, I mean, he didn’t fuck with hundred of guys/women. But he’s not a virgin. He’s just really focused on his goal of becoming the PK and one night stand only happens from time to time. Considering how asocial he’s, I think he needs to feel a kind of connexion to have sex with someone, even if it’s just for one night. 

F: Favorite Position

Literally, any variation of doggy style. Kid is an ass man, so he wants and needs to see the ass he’s fucking. Plus, he’s a rough guy, with wild instincts and seeing someone all helpless, on all four awake his carnal desires.

The more helpless you are in front of him, the more he’s turned on. He likes to see your pussy and asshole clenching desperately, waiting to be filled. While he thrusts into you, he just loves seeing your ass giggled and leave some hand prints when he spank you. If he can tie your wrists or pull on your hair, then, it’s even better. Seeing you, your chest against the mattress and your ass up in the sky is his favorite view. Plus, he can see his cock thrusting inside of you, coat of your juice. What a delight. 

With his lover, he also likes matting press. Just because you always cry out, complaining about how big he’s and how deep he’s fucking you in this position. He’ll never stop looking at you and your flustered expression. 

As I said in the dirty secret, Kid also likes to leave all the work for you sometime. In this case, he’ll go with reverse cowgirl. He can see your ass, hold your hips with one hand, or just lay back and watch you bounce up and down desperately on his cock. Seeing his dick buried deep inside of you will make him growl of satisfaction. 

G: Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)  

Not goofy at all. Sex isn’t supposed to be funny for Kid. I think he can laugh, like while he’s teasing you, he’ll make fun of you, like "look at you, crying for my cock, you’re such a crybaby" but that’s all. Never, lord, never, you’ll hear Kid joking during sex.

If someone laughs at him during sex, then, he’s pissed off. With a night one stand, the mood is just ruined and he’ll leave. With his lover, he’ll get mad too, and also kinda hurt in his pride. He wants to make you feel good and cum at least once, so if you laugh at him, he'll think he’s not doing a good work. It will take a lot of time to reassure him after laughing at him.

H: Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Lol, I don’t think someone will live after asking him such a question.

But the carpet matches the drapes. 

Honestly, I don’t see Kid as a very hairy guy. 

And it’s maybe an unpopular opinion, but I think Kid takes care of himself. I mean, his manicure and make-up are always nailed. So when it’s starting to be hairy down there, he’ll trim it and cursed during the whole process, but that’s just Kid, always cursing. 

I: Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

With a one night stand ? Zero intimacy. Just rough sex and two people trying to reach ecstasy. 

With his lover, Kid is still not a romantic. For him, sex is not a way to express his love, it’s just a way to make the both of you feels good. He doesn’t understand the making love, lovey lovey dovey, crappy stuff. Having sex with his s/o means something to him, but the romantic side of it just fly over his head. 

J: Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)  

Considering his huge sex drive, Kid masturbate a lot. 

If you’re around and in the mood, then, he’d rather fuck with you than jack off. But if you’re not there, or not willing to have sex, he’ll just use his hand.

Everytime he sneaks around alone, you can be sure he’s jacking off and his crew already walk in while he was giving himself a little self-care time. 

K: Kinks (One or more of their kinks)

Humiliation/Praises : Calling his partner a whore, a slut and feeling them tightening around his cock. He likes to see how flustered he can makes you with his words. But if you’re not into degrading stuff, he doesn’t mind using praises, like "look at you, taking all of my cock so well,  that’s my girl", "that’s it, just take it all", "you feel so good around my cock" , "your pussy tighten around my cock, it won’t let me go, you like my dick that much?", "be a good girl and stay still" Etc

And he expects you to praise him as well. Tell him how good he’s fucking you, how good his cock feels inside you. And call him Captain in bed and you will have a lot of orgasms. He’ll make sure of it.

Anal sex : As I said in his dirty secret, Kid likes how tight anal sex feels. It always makes you flustered and he needs a s/o willingly to do anal sex from time to time. 

Pain : Well, Kid likes rough sex, everyone will agree with this fact. He likes to slap your cheeks, your ass, biting your neck, choking you lightly, pulling your hair. And he also loves when you scratch his back, pull on his hair and even bite him. It will make his cock throbbing inside you. 

Public sex : Kid likes to fuck you in a public place, the risk of being caught is a turn on for him. It’s just so naughty and sexy in his mind. But let’s be honest, if someone caught the two of you fucking, he wouldn’t give two flying fucks and just continues to thrust inside you. Feeling you tightening your walls around his cock because of the embarrassment will even make him growl and pound harder.  

L: Location (Favorite places to do the do)

As long as he can fuck you, the place doesn’t matter. Most of the time, he’ll fuck you in the bedroom or in his workshop, with you bending over his desk. 

He also likes fucking you on the deck, it matches his public sex kink. He’ll bend you over the railing, so hey, it’s quite romantic, to watch the sunset and the ocean while he’s plowing into you like the wild animal he’s.

But let’s be honest, Kid will fuck you anywhere, anytime. This boy isn’t picky. As long as you give him your consent, the place doesn’t matter. 

M: Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

The rush of adrenaline after a hard battle. He’s just so horny after a fight 

Whenever he needs to release some anger or frustration 

If you tease him, especially around of people

If he watches you fight. It’s hot, to watch his lover fighting and it always makes blood rush down to his cock. 

If you wear his red coat. It flustered him, but also makes him horny. Same if you’re wearing one of his shirts. 

If you want to have the ride of your night, just wait for him in the bedroom, wearing nothing but one of his shirts wide open on your bare chest. Or wait, naked, with his coat on your shoulders. Damn, it will drive him crazy.

Seeing his lipsticks smeared on your face or neck. 

N: No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything involving piss or shit. 

Sharing is caring, but if he ever accept to have a threesome, the guy will never have the right to fuck you. Your pussy belongs to him, and only him.

Being tied up. Kid hates feeling inferior or weak. If you’re his lover, he’ll only accept to be tied with something in metal, so he can take it off whenever he wants and take back the lead. 

Anything involving waters. He feels weak in it, even in the shower. He needs to feel powerful. 

Pegging is not a total no, but it will only happen with his lover and when the relationship is stable and long enough. He knows where his G point is, and please, he’s a punk, he LOVES non-conformism. But being vulnerable, laying on his back with his legs spreads or on all fours, his muscular ass up, chest against the mattress while you’re pegging him ? He really needs to trust his partner, because he’s afraid to ruin his reputation. Probably a bit overwhelmed and embarrassed at the end of the experience, but it was good. Please, reassure him than having that kind of experience has nothing to do with virility and that he’s still the dangerous and well-known Eustass Captain Kid. 

Roleplay : it’s so ridiculous and humiliating for him, he can’t. 

O: Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)  

A receiver, not a giver. Watching someone kneeling before him, sucking his cock, even gagging on it, damn, it’s just feel so good.

He bucks his hips, fucking your mouth. If you drool all over his cock, it’s even better. 

If you can deep throating him, it will make him cum really fast. His cock is big, not everyone is able to take his full length and girth. Just imagine this man losing his mind, cursing and throwing his head back while you deep throat him.

He, unfortunately, doesn’t go down on you often. But have you seen how this guy likes to show his tongue and lick his lips ? He knows how to use it, I can smell it. If you’re a one night stand, you’ll have to ask for having you pussy ate. 

If you’re in a relationship, especially if it’s the first time you two are fucking together, he’ll go down on you, lick your pussy and drink your juice, making sure you’re wet and ready for him. Go ahead, grab his head, pull on his hair, he likes it. Considering how stubborn he’s, he will keep going and only stop after you cum at least once against his lips. 

P: Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)

Fast and rough. This man is a beast. 

He always needs to release some anger or stress, so he’s always rough while fucking you. Even more with a one night stand. 

He doesn’t want to hurt you, still. But his pace will never be gentle and sensual. But he’ll adapt to whatever you’re able to take it. 

He likes hearing skin slapping against skin, sounds of your wet pussy, leaving bites on your body. For him, sex is messy and rough. 

I can only see two ways to force Kid to have slow sex : 

If you’re a virgin and a one night stand : he’s pissed off. He wants to have fun, not to be anyone first time and all the craps it involves. So just take your clothes and get out of here. Yeah, he’s mean.

However, if you two are in a relationship, he doesn’t want to hurt you and knows his pace is not adapted for a virgin. He will do his best to take you slowly, in missionary, holding back himself. He wants to make you feel good and as you continue to fuck together, progressively, your sessions will be more and more rough and messy. His strokes would be really long and deep, hitting all the right spots. Imagine him, with his jaw clenched, sweats dripping from his forehead, growling huskily, the muscles of his arms all tensed as he’s trying his best to not slam roughly inside your tight pussy. Damn. 

If you challenge him, like, betting he’s not able to fuck you slowly, this man will have the slowest pace ever, just to prove you’re wrong. At the end, he won the game and you’ll be frustrated by how slow and torturing his thrusts are. 

Q: Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)  

He likes quickie, but not that much. Let’s be honest, if you ask him a quickie, the answer will always be yes. 

But he prefers proper sex, because he’s always 100% implicating in what he’s doing, so he wants to fuck your properly. 

During quickie, Kid will bend you over something or carry you against a wall, skip any foreplay and just slams himself into you, his lips against yours to muffle your screams. 

R: Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Kid likes to experiment, but only with his lover. With a one night stand, he wants to be in control and proves how good he’s. If you ask him to do something he has never done, then, he’s not willingly trying.

If you’re in a relationship, he can try some stuff and fantasies, but don’t you dare laugh at him if he’s not doing great the first times you two tries something new. It will really hurt is pride, he gets pissed off and less inclined to try new stuff.

Concerning the risk of being caught, well, Kid doesn’t give two flying fuck. 

S: Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

His stamina is perfect, he can last for a while. Good luck. 

Even with his rough pace, he can last easily 20 minutes of intense pounding. 

You’ll be tired before him. He’s quite observant with you and will notice when you really can’t take much more. 

His sessions are intense and you always end up breathing harshly and sweating, with your legs shaking. 

Kid knows how to hold back, but you can make him cum quickly with anal sex or deep-throating. 

T: Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He hates toys. Are you saying he’s doing the job so poorly, you need a toy to cum ? Okay, he’s pissed off. 

If you want to have a toy during your solo masturbation session, then, feel free, he will gladly create any toy you want with his DF. But when you two are fucking, no toy. 

It hurts his pride.

The poor baby has a lot of pride.

Maybe he can have some fantasies, like a handmade vibrator. He’ll ask you to keep it inside you during the day and from time to time, he’ll use his DF and watch you trying to keep a cold face in front of others while the toy tease your G point. 

U: Unfair (How much they like to tease)

He likes to tease you, especially with dirty talk. Just because it always makes you tighten around his cock. 

He will also tease you a bit during foreplay. He loves when you beg for his cock.

But due to his lack of patience, Kid is not the kind of guy to tease during hours. 

In public, if he can’t fuck you, he gets frustrated and tease you as a way to release some frustration.

If you want to tease him, feel free, but he’ll show you absolutely no mercy later, pounding into you like a fucking beast and growling about how naughty you were earlier. And if you try to squirm, he’ll hold your hips and growls to stay still. You earned this, so shut up and take it. (But of course he’s not a total dick, if you need him to slow down or even stop, he’ll listen.) 

V: Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

This man can’t do anything in silence. Of course he’s loud.

He grunts a lot, talk dirty, spank your ass, all of the time. 

He doesn’t scream. Just grunt and curse a lot. Just imagine him, with his low, husky voice, grunting close to your ear. 

He likes to hear you scream or moan for him. So please, do it. The louder, the better. 

Tell him how good he's fucking you, how huge his cock is stretching your walls and Kid will be more than happy. He's a simple man, overall.

W: Wild Card (Random headcanon)

After sex, if you’re in a relationship, he falls asleep really fast… and even if he’ll never admit it, he likes to be the little spoon. Just hold him firmly and tenderly from behind and let him be the little spoon, please. 

X: X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)  

Pale dick, pink sensitive head. A few veins along the shaft, but not that much.

Kid is a big and large guy, and considering how bold and cocky he acts, his cock is long and thick af, he needs the right back-up lol. He knows he’s big and he’s hella proud of his own cock.

Length around 17/20cm (7/8 inch). And the girth is scary. Good luck if it’s your first time. 

A shower, not a grower. 

His balls are proportioned to his cock size and heavy.

When he takes off his pants down for the first time in front of you, he’ll probably grins while watching your scared or excited face. 

Y: Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

High. Really high.

Kid is kinda always angry at something and he needs to release his frustration with sex. 

He can fuck you multiple times in the same day and still be ready for more. And his refractory period is really short, too. So good luck.

In a relationship, Kid needs someone with a huge sex drive too.

Z: ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Will snore 5 minutes after collapsing on top of you. 

After fucking you like a beast, he feels relaxed, his anger is gone (at least for now), same for his stress or frustration, so he’s sleepy. He’ll just clean himself quickly, or not, and fall asleep.

He doesn’t like pillow talk, but if you’re in a relationship, he’ll try to make an effort. 

If it’s a one night stand and not at home, he’ll leave and fall asleep once he’s back to his ship. 

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Is it okay if i request how yan!twisted wonderland characters act on how to handle f! Yuu when she got her period and practically in pain, i woild be happy too if you can do the teachers and staff but platonic yandere but if you don't want to it's fine

(This idea just comes to mind while i was in pain in my period right now, also sorry if my english not good)

Period Pain | Yandere Twisted Wonderland

Heartslabyul

Riddle Rosehearts

“What could constitute that you have to lay around all day!?”

*Whimper* “Becasue the pain is actually unbearable…”

“Oh…I didn’t realize you were suffering. Ace, Deuce, why didn’t you offer to help them before!?”

“But we just found out!” 

“Quick, it is on the Queen’s orders that we care for our lov–I mean friends! Get them soup immediately!” 

His various studies done in his childhood will probably include the female anatomy at one point

But he’s never witnessed it until now

And learning what your like during this time not only is this an awesome learning opportunity 

(Which he’s telling if anyone asks)

But this is the perfect time to take care of you

And flex his husband bone a bit

Directing your friends and the students of Heartslabyul to help with various tasks you need to get done

He’s worried for you 

More than usual 

Treating it like a sickness if your debating if you should go to class

“I suggest that you take the day off! While I know more than anything that you don’t want to miss assignments but your health is of utmost importance.”

And if you do decide to stay

He’s checking on you after and in the middle of class 

Often asking for your ratings of pain

When it comes to more comfort he’s hesitant

Mostly because he’ll burn up in a blush the moment he makes contact with you

Don’t even think about if you show your slightly upset with someone

It's not even in your control but Sam just so happens to run out of your preferred pain medication

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THERE'S NO MORE!!! WHAT KIND OF ESTABLISHMENT–!!!!” 

Face redder than your blood

you can usually count on the dormleader’s anger scaring who ever bought the last pack into offering it for free as long as he doesn’t burn the building down

At the end of the day he’s pleased that he can provide for you…

“In the future…Let it be known that you can call me at any time. It’d be concerning if I couldn’t do this..”

Trey Clover

Probably informed by Ace complaining about your odd behavior he’s hurriedly rushing into action

Even though his sister is still young Trey is the type of guy to just know that this happens 

Showing up with your favorite treats specially baked by him

“Figured you were feeling a little under the weather–so I brought some of your favorites.”

He’s not going to invite everyone to help him out like Riddle

Taking into account your integrity and privacy 

He’ll keep it between the two of you

Heating pad, pain relief, tampons, pads he’s got it if he suspects you need it

Observing your behavior puts him ahead of everyone else

“It's alright (Y/n), you can rest on my shoulder. I’m sure its rough going through that by yourself.”  

He offers himself as someone you can confide in especially more than usual

Willing to be a bit bolder the more you rely on him

He’s willing to give you a massage or to rub your tummy while you doze off

It gives him so much more leeway than his typical…drugging scheme plans 

“There’s no need to worry (Y/n), I’ll be here for you the whole time.”

Cater Diamond

“Whoa this is like the worst thing ever, for you I mean!” 

He gives you a hard time at first but ultimately he’s there to help

But don’t expect him not to document the whole thing

You can’t tell me Cater isn’t going to heavily allude on his socials that your dating

‘Going to buy painkillers for Pumpkin-bae’

If you at some point bring it up, he’ll just say that's a nickname he uses for you it doesn’t mean anything it does

He’s more than willing to rub your back and tummy 

But beware should you find yourself sleeping off the pain he’s taking so many pictures

With no regard to the fact that you just feel your worst 

he’s archiving and posting like this is Crewlchella

“Ah, isn't my babycakes the cutest!?”

Despite his willingness to share online all about you he’s hesitant to let the curious but helpful students in to help. 

When he does he’s secretly mulling with a smile on his face

But believe him when he finds a way to casually dismiss everyone

Being sure to be your sole confidant at one point or another

“Well well aren’t you miss popular? No worries you’ve got me all to yourself and I’m definitely made of boyfriend-material!” 

Deuce Spade

“Oh? Oh. OHhhh!” 

Either you or one of his seniors is going to have to spell it out for him

And even when he gets it he still doesn’t understand

Acts like your bleeding out 

Trying desperately to stop the internal bleeding that isn’t happening

“I-I got you ice! I hope this will help. Its what my mom would give me when I was in pain.”

He doesn’t understand your mood swings but he’s going to back you up nonetheless

Yelling at someone randomly he’s either hopping on your rage train or just standing out of your way

He’s really confused but he wants to help 

And he’s willing to throw punches if it comes down to it

If you need something from him you’ll have to ask 

He’s not the sharpest tool in the shed

“I’m here to help (Y/n), just tell me what you need!” 

Ace Trappola

“Uhhh that's gross!” 

“Ace!” 

“Sorry sorry, fine we’ll help you.” 

He’s willing to help if only to avoid your wrath  

He starts acting fussy when Deuce or anyone else gets asked to help

Or when you flash a thankful look at anyone but him

That's when he starts really putting in the work

And that is truly what gets him motivated to help

Bragging rights and something to hold over you head

But when its boiled down to it and you two were all alone

He’d sigh before offering to rub anywhere in particular

His hands may wander but for the most part he’s there for that insatiably warm feeling that burns his insides when you genuinely thank him

“H-hey y-you know you owe me right? Okay, okay fine, you don’t but at least let me do this…it’d be a pain if you came out of this and thought I was a jerk right?”

SavannaClaw

Leona Kingscholar

“Don’t bleed all over my bed, herbivore!” 

He probably knows it's here before you do 

Groaning as he starts making preparations for you to keep laying in bed

Just because nature decided to beat you up doesn’t mean cuddling is going to stop

No no in fact it's going to increase because on the worse days your bed-ridden anyway

He’s hardly leaving your side but he’s not taking actual care of your needs

That's Ruggie’s job

But he’d be darned if he let your scent spur any of his students into insubordination

“She’s mine. If you really want to test that out I’m more than happy to leave you incapacitated for the rest of your life. Grr!”

He’s comforting in that he is a literal heater pack,

That holds you tight while wrapping his arms possessively around you

He makes a bigger deal of ‘hating’ it when your on your period

He doesn’t really care, blood isn’t going to stop him from having a good time~

He’s more annoyed with the fact that he has to relentlessly drown you in his scent so you don’t get unwanted trouble

He’s no doubt willing to personally bully whoever to get you your comfort foods 

“C’mon herbivore be grateful I thought of you on the way over.”

Ruggie Bucci

“Eek! Already!?”

He does keep track though 

He includes you in his monthly budget

Prepared to satiate whatever you may need during this time

Especially some painkillers that will help you cart through the day without him

He’s a busy hyena

He typically won’t be able to drop everything for you

But no doubt when the moment arises he’s got groceries and anything you need

“Take it easy (Y/n), you’ll be more able to score more deals if you're actually not fighting cramps. So just rest.”

He’s really respectful 

And he may not have the luxury of staying over the whole time

But if not the night than the early morning

After all he has to take care of Leona 

“Geez you’d think I should pay for my services with how often I’m doing this.”

“But you already do…”

“Then where's my paycheck?”

“Uh you get yours in hugs and kisses?”

“...okay with interest, right?”

Jack Howl

“I am prepared for this! Steel yourself (Y/n)! Hold out just a little bit longer.”

Once again may have picked up on it much sooner than you

Will be especially vigilant, fully taking the environment into account

He’s not going to scent you directly unless he outright asks

Otherwise major guard-dog energy

Such a cheerleader

He realizes there isn’t much he can do other than offer his body heat and general comfort

“So this is the true power of being a woman? Truly admirable!” 

He’s getting whatever you need by any and all means necessary

That's his job as your mate

He must be your protector, your provider

“Leave it to me (Y/n)! I’m here for you. As I’ll always be.” 

Octavinelle

Azul Ashengrotto

“I-i see uhm I’ll uh-help you with that. Contrary to belief I am prepared for this.”

He’s really not lying

Upping his own research about women and how to impress them 

Left him with a quite a lot of knowledge about the female anatomy

He’s fretting all throughout the day as he prepares a little care package

His anxiety is on an all time high as he debates if he should give this to Jade to deliver

But true to nature he’ll laugh and come up with some arbitrary excuse

Forcing Azul to do it himself 

Red in the face as he's stumbling over his words he’s truly not used to seeing you so vulnerable

But once he pushes down his initial embarrassment 

He’s more than happy to do whatever you wish because he likes being useful to you

“Hey Azul can you pass me–”

“The heating pad? Already have it.”

“Oh thanks!”

“/////”

He does get a little concerned when others help more than him 

So he might just buy or threaten for whatever someone is bringing you so that he can officially hand it to you himself

“Just know I’m more than capable of doing this and so much more. S-so be at ease around me okay?”

Jade Leech

”Oh my! Well I guess it is that time after all.”

Pretends this is a surprise when he finds you hunched over somewhere

He totally keeps track 

But he thinks it's amusing to see you struggle with handling your mood and dealing with the cramps

He’s helping all the while 

With front row seats to your most vulnerable moments

He’s enjoying it until he’s pulled away or you begin relying on everyone else

Working in the Monstro Lounge during your week of pain has him stinking up the place with his terrible mood

Bordering Floyd levels of strangulation encounters 

he’s relentlessly trying to burn off his explosive anger from being away from you during this time

Call him instinctually motivated but the moment he gets the chance he slinking back to your side

“Don’t stop me from going to them…otherwise I will stay…and see exactly how fragile your ribcage is.”

Floyd Leech

“And you’ll just be laying around because of cramps? That sounds boring!”

He’s not much help in the realm of comfort 

Unless your yelling at him during a particularly intense pain cycle 

He’s not going to do anything

But he is in a bad mood

“My shrimpy won’t talk to me…They’re in such a bad mood…it puts me in a bad mood!”

Watch out without you there to maintain some semblance of balance he’s practically on a rampage

No one is safe

And in that mentality everyone is catering to you so you can entertain him for a short awhile

He won’t completely abandon you if you very seriously explain or your crying from the pain/frustration

“Shrimpy…you're really hurting aren’t you?”

Only for you

Only for you will he settle himself down to cuddle you 

Holding you tight against him 

No one will bear witness

And if they do they will wish they hadn’t

“It's not so boring laying with my shrimpy…and it certainly won’t be boring when you’re not breathing.”

Scarabia

Jamil Viper

“I have just the recipe for this.”

He’s a caretaker 

Has been all his life so this is no hard feat

Although he’s not used to caring for a girl on her cycle 

he's still one of the best

He’s cooking for you, giving you a heating pad, massaging you if you’ll allow it

He’s more than willing after all you’ve done so much for him

Yes, he’ll have to juggle Kalim but he can handle that just fine

This is you and he actually doesn’t mind caring for you

Afterall it further proves how capable of a man he can be for you

“I’m here for you, (Y/n). Obviously It’d be most convenient if you just married me.”

Kalim Al Asim

“Oh my gosh are you bleeding!? We have to call the teachers!”

Jamil has to sit him down and explain it to him

And even then he still has a hard time grasping it

But he’s more than willing to drop everything to provide whatever help he can

Which is mostly just Jamil actually relieving your discomfort

His way of helping is just buying the highest products 

And then trying to somehow “Party up” your period

“Hey (Y/n)! Let’s try playing a game to distract from the pain!”

“Ugghhhhh.”

“Great!”

He’s really trying 

And even when you or Jamil kick him out for awhile 

He feels the pressure of how many others are successfully helping you 

And decides he needs to get better

Or at least have a better understanding

So he will ask you about your ailment

Lending a listening ear whenever you want to ramble, rant, or complain

“Tell me all of it (Y/n). I can’t ever get tired of you.”

Pomfieore

Vil Schoenheit

“Oh dear…well I guess it can’t be helped.”

He was aware that this time would come 

And while he’s not usually one to indulge in endless cuddling he will do it if only to satisfy you and him too

Already there with the best products 

Heating pads, painkillers, and whatever high quality products that will come on short notice

He is definitely verbally bullying who ever came to help

He might insist on putting make up on you if your not a fan of it

What are you going to do, when you’re busy curled up in pain

If you try to get him to go away or not see you because he is a supermodel celebrity

He’s shutting that down real quick

“Don’t think I’d let you rely on some potato when I’m the one who cares.”

Rook Hunt

“Right on schedule madamoiselle!”

Totally kept track and if you didn’t come open the door he let himself in

He’s actually really amicable with anyone who wants to help 

Saying ‘it's a beautiful display of friendship and love for Madamesoile Trickster'

Comfort food? he’ll get it

Massage? He’ll do it

Pain Relief….the natural way? PLEASE LET HIM

“Blood is not deterrent for me, muya lyubov.”

You’ll have to get him to leave with how…unafraid he is with your blood

Need to insert a menstrual cup? He avidly volunteers

Have to change a pad? He’ll help you change into a new one

No? Fine. He’ll throw out the other one for you

It never even made it to the trash

He fully is able to get whatever size you prefer

You never told him

You really didn’t have to though

“Rest easy Madamemoiselle Trickster! I will happily take care of you with great pleasure for it is an honor to see your beauty uncontained!” 

Epel Felmier

“I’m on it! Leave it to me!”

Doesn’t really understand but he’s here to help

While I’m not confident he’s going to really know what he’s doing

He’s trying with that determined look on his face

This actually makes him quite happy 

He can provide for you without having insane muscle mass

At least your mood can be a bit better when Epel concocting an apple tea that fills the space with such awesome smells

He’ll now start trying to keep track of it 

Showing up at your house hair pulled bag and care package filled to the brim

Hiding behind his determination to grow he’s absolutely ecstatic on the fact that you have to rely on him

“I..want to be really good at this, (Y/n)! So please let me help!” 

Ignihyde

Ortho Shroud

“I’ve scanned my archives and have deduced that this will be the most effective during your menstrual cycle.”

The moment you groan in pain he is on it

What kind of little brother would he be if he couldn’t do this at the very least

Portable heating pad, Massager, personal pharmacist

You name it he’s got it

After all as your future little brother it's only natural he help you with that stuff

“No worries (Y/n)-san, I’ll take care of you during this major happiness debuff!”

Idia Shroud

“This is…the prophesied otome nightmare! The period!” 

He’s not coming near you for awhile 

This is uncharted territory for him and he’s debating if he wants to challenge that

He no doubt sent Ortho to help if you 

Now the question is does he end up making an appearance

On one hand he’s sure to build up on relationship points if he goes

But if he doesn’t go his rivals will no doubt up their statuses with his absence

He’d still be watching on all the cameras, so he’d know if they really were making any progress

But what about you? 

For the possibility that you look at him or thank him for helping

Even going so far as maybe leaning on him!?!?! 

Your touch alone could boost his morale significantly 

Not to mention sending him in an absolute frenzy

In the end he’ll stick it out…if only Ortho enters with him

“From my research, something that's helpful for dealing with pain is a distraction…so would you want to watch me play?”

Diasomnia

Malleus Draconia

“Child of man? Are you…dying?!”

He’s very confused and incredibly scared

Whether you're clutching your midsection in pain or having bled through your pants

He’s in hysterics

Weren’t you supposed to live longer!? 

He’s in a panic teleporting you to a teacher or the Diasomnia dorm 

Where he’s urgently informing Lilia and staff about your situation

If your not already crying from embarrassment he’s eventually told the reason why this is happening

“You’re not dying but you’re still in pain? How…peculiar of the human body to plague you in such a way.”

If your period was a person he would have brutally murdered them a long time ago

Sneering at the mention of it while your groaning about it

Don’t let him know about how to make it stop

Otherwise your going to have a hard time convincing him this isn’t worth getting you pregnant for

A good way to is to give him another way to help

Maybe removing the pain with pleasure?

“If this spares you the pain of that wretched cycle then I will give you everything you desire.”

Lilia Vanrouge

“Ah, that time is here. Well then guess I should be making you my special recipe!”

“No, please! Anything but that!” 

He’s one who may not keep track but he’s able to notice the signs

You’re so vulnerable he can get away with so much!

Like every situation that involves you he is amusing himself

He’ll help you with remedies he’s experienced through his many travels

Providing exotic painkillers that magically transform all your pain into something alse

Uh oh! Now you have something else bothering you, oh what will you do?

“Oya you seem to be struggling. No worries! I’m more than prepared to help you with this pleasurable side effect. No worries, I'm no stranger to blood!”

Silver Vanrouge

“Bleeding!?!?! Stand back! I need to put pressure on the wound!”

As soon as you get him to stop trying to put pressure on your…yeah

You’ll have to specifically explain the science behind your cycle 

Alas his support is immediately garnered

“Alright! Fath–Lilia said I could aid you in this endeavor. Saying it’d be a good experience for my future as a guard to Master Malleus.”

He’ll do all that he can with due diligence

And he’s more than happy to curl up to take your naps with you

But when all's said and done you’ll try and send him away

Keyword: “Try”

“Okay thanks for all your help Silver. Have a good night.”

“Are you heading to bed?”

“..no.”

“Alright then.”

“...”

“...”

“So you're not going to leave?”

“Of course not. My job is to guard you after all, I can’t possibly let you go through this on your own as your suitor”

“Oh oka–wait suitor?”

Sebek Zigvolt

“WHAT IS THIS?! Y-YOU’RE DYING!? DYING!”

He’s alarmed 

He knows humans are fragile but to be bleeding so much with no prior warning

Your akin to glass

He’s ultimately going to ignore your reservations until your loudly explaining the science of your cycle to this man

Eventually he will so gracefully take it upon himself to provide his help to you

Doesn’t matter if you never asked he’s helping

You’re so much weaker than him it's natural that he expertly help

With no surprise to you he’s quite bad at this

Misusing your pads/tampons/other 

Throwing away your pain killers because they were ‘weak person’s crutch’

And overall just not making this a good time

So you’ll have to explain everything to him 

Every tool, every step has a meaning so if he wants to help he’s following your lead

And for you to be so stern and serious…

SHOWS HOW DEDICATED AND POWERFUL YOU ARE!!

“I no doubt misjudged your expertise!! Show me your ways so that I may aid you in our future together!”

Staff

Dire Crowley 

“Oh…uhm, right…what does that mean again?”

He’s trying…kinda

You need to ask him for permissions to deal with it anyway 

And it would be especially gracious of him to supply everything that you need

…so that you’re not bleeding everywhere

It’d be concerning if that were that the case 

So he’s totally following your lead with this one

Even though he’s not a fan of the fact so many of the students are swarming around you during this time

For all he knows you may need many people to help you deal with it

He really doesn’t like seeing you in pain so if you do at some point complain about it 

He’s frantically sending you home

“Whatever you need (Y/n). I’m so gracious I shall help you with your condition.”

“It's not a condition, it's a natural bodily function for me that just so happens to come every month.”

“E-every month?”

“Yes…don’t look at me like that! It is entirely normal and healthy!”

Crewel Divus

“Do you have everything you need? I wouldn’t be surprised if Sam didn’t have that.” 

He’s on top of it like Donkey Kong 

Making sure you have everything you need 

The only problem is the various boys that are ‘willing to help’

“I should have had Jack install those removable boards on Ramshackle’s windows…now the unruly curs will slink in.”

He’s wordlessly setting some magical traps for those who want to reach Ramshackle

His puppy is vulnerable and they’re surrounded by a bunch of other pups that are much bigger and rougher

If anyone asks about you he’s misleading them so hard

“Stay away from (Y/n) pups especially this week!”

“Y-YES SIR!” 

“Good boys. Now let’s continue working.”

Mozus Trein 

“I see. How’s your pain tolerance? Will you still be able to attend class?”

Seasoned veteran right here

He’s not freaking out because he knows you probably know best

But if you couldn’t get something on campus or in the town he’s willing to do what he can

He’s mostly being the reasonable voice when everyone just doesn’t understand

Depending on your own situation he’ll give you a written list of remedies he’s followed

While silently sending Lucius to watch after you

And I wouldn’t be surprised if he actually joined Crewel in putting protections on Ramshackle 

“For once we’re in agreement. I doubt the students will be able to comprehend, let alone actually be of service to her.”

Ashton Vargas

“What, why would that stop you from exercising? Don’t you know pushing through the pain is how you look like me!?”

“No no you don’t understand this pain is much different.”

“I fail to see why you should stop even still!”

“If you don’t get me off this field I’ll bleed all over it.”

“O-okay. To the nurse you go!” 

“Thank you.”

He’s not sympathetic because he doesn’t understand

And unless you phrase it as some type of training or exercise he will cheer you on

“Ace that period, (Y/n)!! You’ve got this!”

Sam

“Well that’s why I just stocked up on it, just for you!”

Really the MVP when it comes to comfort

He likes to pretend he doesn’t need to but he definitely did research about it

He wasn’t about to turn his favorite baby sis-student away unsatisfied

He also knows your harem will probably come soon and he can’t wait to play matchmaker

“And here’s that (f/f) you ordered in advance and for you some (h/f). Happy eating or rather gifting.” 

[lovingdabeessss]

Weiss Being the problem teammate for SO LONG is crazy like I’m not even just talking about being anti faunas and stuff

She lived somewhere that’s like THE worst place like this is every oppressor and awful take and we’re right about everything and then was living with the worst of that and told it was the best

Despite how good her heart is no amount of good heart or intelligence makes people immune to propaganda or brainwashing like there’s definitely a LOT of bad views she really had to work to find out were actually really bad and wrong and there’s probably some she still has that she just hasn’t noticed or thought about because for the majority of her life it was so normal

Not to make another “Weiss is the best written character” post on my Yang blog but like?? My god

And I say this about a lot of characters but having an older sister would fix her AND IT DID it’s just that winter couldn’t fully be that, I mean she did her part but she just traded one brainwashing for another in the military

(you can’t tell me Yang isn’t the kinda older sister figure that could go “no you can’t say that” and you shut up)

But even without specifically big sister dynamic just the fact that she was accepted into Rwby as family (I’ll make another post about that these are out of order my b💖) is huge in helping her

Like she was abused in her family but she was still its crowning jewel in the family’s crown she was the heir she was its greatest success and the treatment she received was part of that responsibility and honor so it was ok

However in Rwby she was part of the family but she was the black sheep of the family

Blake was an ex terrorist and SHE, Weiss Schnee, was the Black sheep

And YET she was still clearly loved and cared for they still wanted her safe and included they just wanted her to be a decent person and let her become one

Weiss is a lonely character in big house and a big family she was lonely as hell and now she’s in a small dorm with three people who immediately didn’t like her and she’s never been more secure she’s never had such companionship

And she craves to be more accepted and more included and also just to be better and so she becomes better

I just lover her a lot and the little Rwby family

Anyway everyone wish me luck on my English midterm!!!

She’s so funny

[soracities]

People are wild lol rap does actually take a certain level of skill to both perform and understand, it takes five seconds of research to see that theres decent lyricism going on there. Lots of rappers are actually great at english, they dont all know the official terms for the things they practice but rapping is like a form of poetry really.

ofc there are subgenres that i personally do not like such as mumble rap (a conversation for another time i digress) but if you take for example kendrick's latest diss tracks to drake, its something that has to literally be studied and broken down by a bunch of people lol and once you break it down and understand the refrences you see that its not just a bunch of words and a beat. of course white people will think something they dont understand is ghetto trash what else is new lol they're the kings of ostricizing and devaluing what they dont understand. They did it to jazz they did it to metal and alternative music and they do it to rap.

At the end of the day, culture is a thing that will be understood by those who are meant to understand it. You dont have to like rap to acknowledge that its an art, but calling it trash and refusing to see it from any point of view but your own speaks for itself.

And for the record, im not a rap fan lol its a genre i hardly listen to in fact, but what i am is an artist, and i can acknowledge art when i see it.

i'll be honest, i don't think lack of understanding is solely what comes into it, if at all. the genres that get the most aggressive pushback are also ones that threaten a cultural hegdemony in their respective societies (white, male, christian etc) and that's not a coincidence. rap gets the worst of this and ultimately i don't think it has ever boiled down to not knowing what GOAT means and a lot more to do with overt and tacit hostility towards black people making outspoken art on their own terms in a deeply racist society.

but otherwise i completely agree with you! the lyrical complexity, rhyming schemes and dexterity at play in a good rap song is second to none and you could absolutely teach a literature class on it. it is as much a poetic medium as anything else while also encompassing its own deeply layered, complex and distinct sensibilities--just like, literally, every other art form on earth! to pretend otherwise is just ludicrous at this point.

[prideprejudce]

im genuinely curious since i keep seeing this opinion, but i rly dont think hotd writing was bad? nothing is perfect but idk, unless someone points to me the times they had shitty writing im having a hard time seeing it. unless i dont actually know what "writing" means here. english is not my first language, i COULD be misinterpreting things lmao. i rly liked how they did things this season, i think it made sense with the last one, this one was just Tenser because at any second the war will reallyyy break out n we dont know when cuz we have two driving forces from opposite sides not wanting that to happen, thats the entire point of s2 i think: establishing that in war there is no clear winner ("strange victory" n all that), that everyone is going to die, that there is no point to any of it theres no point to war at all, that every character is "heroic" and "villainous" in their own right in the right pov. i think it was a fun season to flesh out the characters, have us not feel entirely happy to be fighting for one side cuz theres innocents in both sides but ultimately we all know they will all die and its all for nothing. thats the tragedy of it all imo. i loved it to pieces. i guess id say im sad some characters didnt interact but also i dont see how they would considering how this season went. n also i wanted more rhaena (i do hope she'll have a cool ass role next season, idc idc)

i personally think this season was truly a transition season to full out war. people are pissed because they wanted war to instantly happen after lucerys died last season, but in reality things arent that black and white and i think it would have cheapened the plot to fast forward through the political negotiations and underhanded scheming to try and win without fighting, to just full on nuclear dragon war.

I actually like the idea that this season was like standing on a cliffs edge where one wrong move led to oblivion with millions of people dying and the practical annihilation of half of house targaryen. I'm glad that the writers took the time to emphasize how dire this war could become before barreling us into it. the political battles and moral dilemmas are just as fun to watch as the actual battles

that being said, there are still valid criticisms of the show being brought up too: like the weird pacing and absolute dragging on of daemons harrenhal ghost adventures. on one hand I get it, because in the books daemon just disappears for weeks at a time, and the writers had to do SOMETHING with him this season instead of having him peace out for 7 episodes. but I agree that the harrenhal visions became repetitive, and I'm also not a huge fan of the back to the future magic being shoved in our faces instead of more subtle clues to it

overall, it was a transition season, not the absolute best season of television history, but it's definitely not the worst (and not even CLOSE to being as bad as got s8). I think in modern age media consumption, people now equate "i personally don't like this" to "this is all horrible and the whole show is trash now"

[panthera-tigris-venenata]

What happens in the Apothecary... doesn’t stay in the Apothecary.

When the Core 4 return on the Isle, Harry is just finishing his shopping in Maddy’s Apothecary. It is only natural he decides to steal their bikes and run. It is... probably less natural that Maddy decides to join him and Gil on the ride.

I borrowed Malvina from @tiredflowercrown cos I’ve got plans for this and I think Audrey and Chad would have absolutely marvelous time babysitting Malvina Mim.

Harry stalks through the hovering shelves of Maddy’s Apothecary, idly pushing the odd item just slightly out of its proper place, and only raising the corners of his mouth in a parody of smile when darling Maddy hisses at him. 

Gil sighs as Maddy’s hisses slip into ancient curses – probably – and Harry doesn’t know what’s the fuss about, really.

He’s gonna pay.

Eventually.

Probably. Maybe.

But even so: Uma is not there to see. Uma is not there, and so Harry hardly finds it in himself to care.

He blinks away the memory of her and sweeps away a little package of poisonously coloured candy; it lands with a dull thud. (It doesn’t break and shatter, scatter all around. He isn’t suicidal enough for that, is he?)

„Oops,“ he says with approximately no regret in his voice as he grins at Maddy.

Fine, so maybe he was lying earlier, but can you blame him? There’s no one to hold him accountable for his lies. No Captain to answer to.

For that thought, another package joins the first one on the floor, and a phial disappears into his pocket. He doesn’t bother reading the label.

Gil says something that must be an apology to Maddy, who in turn points to the rules scrawled violently vivid over the grim wall.

We do not give first aid.

We do not give refunds.

Do not ask about correct doses, do not ask about opening hours.

Keep your relationship problems outside. 

Harry giggles: As if Maddy would actually throw him out, what with all the profit he’s been making her lately.  She’s a bitch, alright, but she does have a mind for business, that she does.

She screeches something that sounds suspiciously like „Go have your existential crisis somewhere else and stop sulking about your non-existing love-life in my shop,“ and Harry slips another vial into his pocket.

And he won’t be paying – that’s just what she gets for the love life comment.

Cold-hearted bitch.

Harry gives it a moment of consideration and sneaks another – different – package into his pocket. Maybe if he mixes all this stuff together, it’ll be worth a damn. Worst case scenario, it kills him, and considering his current predicament, Harry figures there are worse things.

He figures not to push his rotten luck any more and disappear the english way before Maddy notices the disappeared proviant; he turns to Gil to tell him so.

„We’re–“ he says before he notices unusual movement outside. It’s barely recognisable through the cloudy, scratched window, but Harry knows a traitor when he sees him. Not that he could mistake the red-black-white of the youngest deVil anyway, no one’s clothes shine like that on the Isle.

Disgusting, if he can say so.

He twists his features into a smirk as he finishes a different sentence than he started: „– going on a field trip!“

A heartbeat of silence, and then: „Maddy, darling, you should join us.“

„And why the fuck would I do that?“

„Also, where are we going?“ adds Gil.

Well, Harry is only too happy to explain: „Oh, why. The traitors are back. They just run by on bikes – we’re gonna nick them and we’re gonna be out in a nick of time, we’re gonna find Uma!“

„Amazing,“ deadpans Maddy, insultingly unimpressed, „Go do that and get the fuck out of my shop.“

Harry blinks as the possible scenarios shift through his mind and no, no, he can’t just jump out there and expect his Captain to do all the work. He ought to figure out some means to find her; he zeroes on Maddy. 

She’s magical, innit, she could find Uma–

She could find Uma, and therefore she must go. He tuts in response to her crude comment and raises on hand: „Oh, sunshine. We can get out. Out is Mal. And magic,“ he raises both of his hands, as if weighting the words, „Mal. Magic. Perfect revenge.“

„…I’m listening,“ allows Maddy reluctantly.

„Amazing,“ Harry states with such amount of poison it rivals some of Maddy’s substances, „Now lets hitch a ride and get the fuck out of there.“

He stalks to the exit, Gil half-a-step behind, but Maddy’s voice stops him.

„Wait.“

Great, what the fuck does that harpy want now?

„Malvina!“ she screams at the top of her lungs, „Move your bones and get up there this instant.“

A scrawny figure scurries just barely into sight and Maddy pulls her into a ray of light. The child blinks in confusion as Maddy says „We’re going out,“ with a decidedly nasty smirk.

Ah, that’s terrific. That little bloodsucker is coming along for the ride – Harry glares at the Mims and mutters curses in a language he thinks the kid doesn’t understand yet though Maddy does, and he makes sure she hears, too. 

She only smirks more as she says: „And if you complain, Hook, I’ll curse your mouth shut so bad not even your beloved Uma will be able to fix it.“

Harry sneers at her. He‘s sure Uma could fix it. She might just decide to wait for that a little bit.

And either way: „Let’s go, there’s no time to loose.“

„No time to die like today.“

„Cheers.“

[wannab-urs]

Build Me Up, Buttercup | Professor!Joel Miller x Student!Reader

Summary: Reader confronts Dr. Miller about her grade in his class.

Warnings: Not much yet. Reader is of legal age, no less than 22 but not specified, she's about to graduate college. She’s an English major. This is grumpy x grumpy. Lots of snark, eyerolling, etc. Not-Quite-Enemies to Lovers. And no she doesn’t blow him to get a better grade! (I would, but reader is classy). 

Word Count: 1.1k

Why Do You Build Me Up

(Buttercup)

Dr. Miller’s Foundations of Architecture class was supposed to be a fun elective for you. You could learn a little more about architecture, something that has always been a mild interest for you. You like pretty buildings and you think it’s a cool subject. It’s your last semester of college and you deserve to take something fun to fill in that last elective requirement. 

You certainly were not supposed to fail the fucking class.

“He’s so rude, Cooper,”  you tell your friend. Coop looks up at you over their laptop, red curls springing in every direction and glasses sitting on the tip of their nose. They’re feigning interest while they hammer away at some graphic design assignment.

“One time he made a guy who said he liked 432 Park Ave leave the class. Like just kicked him out for the rest of the day! I mean that building is awful, but still!” Coop heaves a sigh and shuts their laptop. 

“Is this that hot professor you told me about or is it the one who always wears really weird outfits?” 

“No! The weird outfits guy is my Chaucer professor,” you choose to ignore the first half of that question. “I have words for him too, actually. He keeps-”

“Focus! Why are you failing Arc?” 

“His essays are insane! Like, this is not English class, my guy, why are you grading me so hard? I’m literally an English major! You’d think my writing would be more than acceptable for a freshman level class.” 

He had given you a D on your paper about gothic architecture. You’d chosen to write about the Santa Maria del Fiore in Italy and he took off THREE letter grades because they finished the construction in the neo-gothic style… which you had made a whole section of your paper about. It’s perfectly valid. It’s not like he really gave you much to go on. 

“Did you follow the prompt? Sometimes your brain takes you places the question didn’t exactly call for…” they give you a knowing look. 

“This isn’t a fanfic writing challenge, Coop, I can follow a damn prompt. He doesn’t give us anything to go on at all for these essays! Or for anything else, really.” 

He is the least verbose professor you have ever had. It’s honestly kind of refreshing for a man to not love the sound of his own voice, but you’re also paying him to teach you something. 

“The essay prompt was literally ‘Gothic Architecture’ and the guidelines were ‘12 pages, double spaced, due March 19th.’" You drop your voice into its lowest register, mimicking Dr. Miller's deep baritone. "And that’s what I wrote!” Someone shushes you from behind a bookshelf. You’re getting a little over excited, borderline yelling in the library about this infuriating man.

“Have you tried going to his office hours?” God why are they always so reasonable?

“Have you tried going to his office hours… No. I have not. He’s rude, remember?” 

“Just try it! What’s the worst that could happen?” 

“He could drop my paper down to an F.”

“And you could report him for unfair grading practices. Go. Shoo,” Coop starts pushing your books toward your bag. 

“Fiiiiiine,” you relent.

Twenty minutes later you find yourself standing in the doorway of his office. Dr. Miller is sitting behind a large wooden desk. It’s very neat, the only things on it a computer, a picture frame turned away from you, and a stack of books. Dr. Miller has one of the books open and is writing something in a notebook, brow furrowed and tongue poking out between his lips. 

“Dr. Miller?” you ask hesitantly. 

He doesn’t look up from his work, just lifts a hand vaguely in your direction for a second and keeps writing. You roll your eyes and look around the office. There are bookshelves lining the walls with architecture textbooks in neat rows. A few covers of Architectural Digest are framed on the wall. Is he in those?

Your eyes land back on him. He’s wearing a dark grey Fleetwood Mac shirt that looks old as hell. The collar is stretched, revealing a bit of his chest. Your eyes trace a line up the column of this throat… He has a nice neck. 

You had called him your hot professor at the beginning of the semester, regardless of how you felt about him now. There’s just something about that fluffy bed head he always has, like he couldn’t be bothered to run a comb through it. And the scruffy beard laced with grey he doesn’t seem keen on trimming. And the way his mustache frames his pouty lips. And his prominent nose that looks straight out of a painting. And okay that’s enough. 

“Dr. Miller, I need to talk to you.” 

“M’busy,” he mumbles out, still not looking up from the textbook. 

“Okay, well it’s your office hours, so technically you have to talk to me.” 

“Technically, little miss, I don’t have to do anything.”

“Excuse me? Let’s not speak to grown women like they’re children, sir.” Is he fucking for real right now?

He closes his notebook and looks at you for the first time since you walked in. Probably the first time all semester. He kind of pauses when he sees you, hopefully realizing he isn’t talking to a freshman. It wouldn’t make the little nickname okay, but it would make more sense at least. 

He looks you up and down and his jaw ticks, “Sit.” His eyes flick to the chair in front of his desk. You drop your bag on the floor and slide into the seat. “So. What can I help you with?”

You take a deep breath. “You gave me a D on my last paper.” 

He just stares at you. 

“And considering our prompt was all of 8 words, I think- I know I met the requirements and that I did a good job. It was thoroughly researched, structured well, copy and content edited, and turned in 2 days before deadline. I would like an explanation-” 

“Enough,” he cuts you off. “I don’t have to justify my gradin’ decisions to you.” 

You let out a frustrated puff of air. This man drives you insane. “Dr. Miller, I’m a senior. I took this class to fulfill an elective requirement and because I like architecture. I would like to understand what is so egregious about my writing that you would have me fail a class in my last semester of college.” 

He considers you for a moment, meeting your eyes. He lowers his brow, screws up his mouth from side to side, like he’s thinking hard about something. “I’ll reread it.” 

Not I’ll reconsider your grade, but at least it’s something. “Thank you.” You grab your bag, moving to leave, and he stops you. 

“Wait!” You pause, arching an eyebrow. “What was your name again?” He doesn’t even have the decency to look embarrassed. 

“Seriously? I’ve been in your class since January. Figure it out.” 

You storm out, slamming the door behind you.  

A/N: This will be my first series! I'm really excited to try some actual characterization and plot, which I've never really played around with before. Constructive criticism in my DMs is always appreciated <3

Tag List: @beskarandblasters, @cutesyscreenname, @atinylittlepain, @wednesdayday, @whoiscaroline, @goldenhxurs, @northernwindd, @djarinxore, @worhols, @amanitacowboy, @silkiers, @4ueijos, @livinxdeadxgrl, @serenaxpedro, @huffle-punk, @elvn011, @thepriceofpepper, @lexic-22, @sunshinebtrfly, @strang3lov3, @virgogaia