#the ending is ambiguous but it’s pretty obvious where it’s headed

[cosmogyros]

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[akirathedramaqueen]

Stolas: A Gradual Descent to the Bottom of the Bottle

This post analyzes Stolas's situation with alcohol and discusses whether the show effectively represents this systemic issue, and what it implies about real life.

The take is certainly not unique, but I decided to post it anyway to spread awareness about how subtle, seemingly harmless, occasional drinking can seamlessly turn into a full-blown addiction over time.

TW: substance abuse, addiction, alcoholism

Is Stolas an alcoholic?

The answer seems obvious at first. You look at him—all posh, intelligent, and articulate—and you might think, "He doesn’t look like one." You won’t find him, Satan forbid, somewhere under a porch, or truly dependent on the bottle, like drinking during the day—or not absinthe, anyway.

Sure, he drinks sometimes, but it’s fine . . . right? Everyone drinks sometimes. Everyone deserves to feel a bit happier after something bad happens once.

Or twice.

Or thrice . . .

. . . Oh.

Not so obvious anymore, eh?

The real issue here is that the answer is kind of between 'yes' and 'no.' My TL;DR is that the show makes it pretty clear his drinking is becoming problematic, but it’s not quite there yet. And it will become alcoholism soon enough if nothing changes.

I think what we see happening to Stolas right now is an excellent, textbook example of how people end up there. So let’s get into his head, explore where he stands, and what it means for us and for him.

It starts easy

It doesn’t happen in one day. It's not like you get up early one especially glum morning and decide, "Hey, that's a good day to ruin my life!"

It's a vulnerability that makes you susceptible to drinking. Constant pressure. Anxiety. Depression. Trauma.

And you might find yourself wanting to do everything, anything, to get it out of your brain. Not think about it for one evening. Forget.

What a pathetic fucking man!

Her attacking you, whether physically, verbally, in public or private. You, having no one to turn to, having no way to mend it, having to keep up appearances for your kid.

We all have bad days. Bad situations. It’s not to say that one wild night is inevitably going to turn you into an alcoholic. But when you allow the bottle to be your crutch for life, when it becomes a habit to avoid uncomfortable, traumatic events, then . . .

Then it turns into a coping mechanism

You know, it’s . . . it’s simpler. It’s comfortable. Soothing.

You can’t kick her out of the house. You can’t make the man you love love you back. You can’t get a support network because she ostracized you from royal social circles and made a laughing stock out of you.

But you can forget. Forget that one excruciatingly humiliating night. Where not only was all your dirty laundry thrown out on the dance floor for everyone to see, but also, that said romantic interest made it clear it’s only about sex.

You used to have a smoking wife, a kid, you had it all! I hope you didn't give it up so you and him could get it up

Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything but you wanting me to fuck you, okay? You make that really clear all the time.

Forget well enough to fall asleep drunk on the floor among the only living beings who didn't run from you yet. Maybe only just because they are in pots and don't have legs.

And it spirals out of control

Things get gradually worse. Your only lifeline—your . . . uh, romantic interest and daughter—fall out of reach. He finds every reason to avoid you. She hasn't visited you since that LA incident.

Your only power move with a divorce request turns into a lengthy, exhausting proceeding and leads to an assassination attempt. Your—what are you even anymore?—romantic interest pretty much ignores your distress call, or so you think.

You go with a showdown. You can't stand the ambiguity anymore. You want to know whether there's something behind your transactional thing. It's either 'yes' or 'no,' and . . .

It doesn't end too well.

Lastly, you go to a party to try to unwind (or at least be polite, because it's rude to ignore invitations). But your ex's (???) ex acts cruelly, and you don't feel comfortable there. And the wound is still fresh, bleeding . . .

Fuck it, the absinthe won't cut it. Beelzejuice it is then.

And here we are, back to our starting question

Stolas wears a functional alcoholism guise. Or dangerously close to it. Because that's what I believe is going on.

He is still a functional member of society, but he is shown not being capable of processing his trauma without the bottle in hand. And, as things get worse for him, we see the bottle or the glass or any other alcohol container more often on the screen.

For now, he's hanging on, but it's just a matter of a flip switch—the moment when every second of his life will start to feel unbearable without alcohol, simply because there are no other ways to cope.

It's worth noting, though, that Stolas isn't the only character depicted struggling with the urge to drink away his problems.

The most obvious example is Verosika, who is a severe case of alcoholism. We won't delve deep into her character since I want to focus on gradual decline rather than the end result, but we rarely see her without a bottle. There are a couple of scenes where she doesn't hold one, but these moments are situational. She's also been to rehab at least once and only got out because of her reputation.

But there is another character I'd like to dissect, because this will answer the lingering question, "Is there a way out?"

Blitzø, and why he didn't fall victim to this

We saw Blitzø drinking too, at the Bee’s party. To a rather disturbing degree, actually.

But why does no one say he has an alcohol problem, even though he did use alcohol as a coping mechanism? 

Because Blitzø is an example of how the addiction might be prevented and what ultimately makes a difference, a turning point.

To start off, we first see him not in the bar. We see him at home with a pint of melting ice-cream. Dude sugar-bombed himself to sleep . . . after the already mentioned disastrous date with Stolas at Ozzie's, that is.

And then he gets a call from Loona, who asks to pick her up from the party. He has no plans to stay there whatsoever.

But what changed his mind? Pressure did. 

He was pressured by both Loona and an old acquaintance to stop by. (I stress that no one is wrong for this, by the way—he still had the agency to turn the invitation down.) He reluctantly agreed to one drink . . . which we know how ended.

It's much harder to keep it to just one drink when you're sad and alcohol makes you feel better. Nobody wants to be sad.

But with all that said, Blitzø is extremely resilient. In contrast to Stolas—who is strong in his own way but slipping despite all the privilege, magic, and immortality that Blitzø thinks make him invincible—Blitzø never let that one drinking occasion become a habit.

Because he has a support network. However closed off he is, he has his business to take care of, Loona, and M&M. He has things he likes to do and he has people he cares about.

Stolas has all the money in the world, but no friends or activities he could look forward to. He doesn't seem happy with his royal life at all, referring to himself as an owl in a gilded cage.

So the difference is, essentially, this: Blitzø has alternatives and doesn't see alcohol as an outlet. There is a wonderful post from @warblogs17282 which has similar points I make, but also, it shows another angle of Blitzø's relationship with alcohol—his, unfortunately, long history with addiction in family. So that contributes, too.

Is Stolas a lost cause?

Gods, no. But it’s definitely a problem by this point. 

Is he an active alcoholic? Maybe not yet. He isn't Verosika yet. But he is getting there, which I think is the point the show makes.

Alcohol might be a one-time patch on especially rough days, and you might wake up the next day strong and aware enough not to make a habit of it. But the problem is, Stolas already has a habit, and he doesn't have anything to replace it. 

To solve it, he needs just that—a replacement for the bottle. Someone who cares. My hope is that one particular red lizard will share his pint of ice cream and his love. And maybe then, grim days won't be as grim anymore, even when the absinthe stays in the store, or wherever these royals get their alcohol.

Closing note. Why it’s important to talk about this in real life context

Warning: Extreme TMI

I had an alcoholic in the family, and this topic triggers me because, for him, it also started as "no biggie."

He was still functional for years, coming to work regularly. But he was slipping. He drank more, skipped work, and eventually became unbearable for his family—my family, even if not immediate. His wife requested a divorce. He got isolated. He drank even more. Eventually, he got fired because it's not appropriate for a director to skip work and reek of ethanol. The smell was so strong that people couldn't be in the same room with him. He tried other jobs. He aced interviews thanks to 30 years of experience and a solid background. But he got fired again because he couldn't live up to his legacy anymore. At the end, he descended into what you would call full-blown alcoholism.

So, you followed his story, and my question is: Did it start here, when he couldn't help it anymore? Or did it start a couple of years before that, when alcohol became too comfortable as an outlet for struggles?

I've had rough months too—with the war in Ukraine and everything happening with my family—when I realized it became comfortable for me to drink my problems away. Because it works. Because it’s pleasant not to deal with anything, to force your brain to shut up and be happy for one evening.

And it's terrifying to realize I had (thankfully, I don't have anymore for a long time by now) those patterns of thinking: "Jeez, I just want to drink and forget this happened."

Because I saw where it leads. And the farther you go, the harder it becomes to say 'no.'

So please, pay attention to the ones you care about. Pay attention to yourself.

[steddieas-shegoes]

watch the five hole

for @steddiemicrofic prompt ‘hole’

rated t | 404 words

cw: language | tags: hockey au, goalie Eddie Munson, forward Steve Harrington, friends to enemies to lovers, ambiguous but pretty obvious ending

🥅🥅🥅🥅🥅🥅🥅🥅🥅🥅🥅🥅

A shootout is a blessing and a curse.

When your team can’t finish it in 60, or in overtime, it’s down to you. Well, you and someone else to score a goal.

Eddie thrived under this pressure, practically prayed for it to happen against certain teams. He wanted to prove himself as a rookie, and this was the best way to do it.

His record for the season was impressive so far, and he planned on keeping it that way.

But for some fucking reason, his first NHL shootout had to be against the Avalanche, the most impressive offensive team this season. Their players were good.

And Steve Harrington wanted nothing more than to be the one to score against him, he just knew it.

They’d played together in high school, somehow beat the odds to both be drafted first round. They always supported each other.

Until they didn’t.

Steve had made a snide comment about being excited to play for a team with a real goalie during his draft interviews, and Eddie didn’t really like his fucking tone.

As if he hadn’t saved their team over and over again when they forgot how to defend their own net. As if Eddie hadn’t spent four years of their lives basically worshiping the ground Steve walked on. As if-

He looked straight ahead as soon as Steve took the ice. Eddie saw the flash of the 86 on his sleeve, thought about his own 86 on the back of his sweater.

He thought about its relevance to them, but quickly pushed the thought away when the whistle blew and Steve started skating down the ice with the puck.

He knew Steve, knew his habits, knew he’d go blocker side, top shelf. That’s where 90% of his shots went tonight.

Steve shot.

The buzzer went off.

Eddie looked behind him and frowned at the puck in the back of the net.

Steve stopped in front of him.

“Gotta watch your five hole, Eds. You’re a pro now.”

Luckily, he saved the next attempt and his guys managed to win it.

When he left the rink, Steve was waiting for him, Bruins beanie on his head with a number 86 on it.

“Think I could buy the goalie a late dinner?”

“Why?” Eddie couldn’t fathom Steve wanting to actually take him out.

“Because I figured I could try to score twice tonight.”

Eddie nodded. “Get in, Harrington.”

[yeowangies]

The end of the world

PAIRING: Suguru Geto/AFAB!Reader. CONTENTS: Explicit Sexual Content (Fingering), Sensory Deprivation (Blindfold, Bondage), Slight Dubcon WORDCOUNT: 2011

Summary:

The day was sunny, no clouds in the sky, warm, almost hot. Eerily dreamy for a late spring day. There were still some flowers in some of the plants in your front yard. A heavy contrast with the man in dark clothes, long dark hair, and even darker eyes, waiting outside your door.

Notes:

KINKTOBER DAY 15: SENSORY DEPRIVATION

There's just weird stuff going on here that i can't explain. I love being ambiguous about plots and stuff LMAO but Suguru fits all these things, and the plot is supposed to not make sense. So yeah, heads up. I was also a inspired by the story "where are you going, where have you been?". I would have loved to keep writing but I was already at my limit!

Not proofread cause i finished this last night.

@actuallysaiyan

divider by @/adornedwithlight

Looking out the window with trepidation, you breathed heavily at the sight of the person outside your door. 

The day was sunny, no clouds in the sky, warm, almost hot. Eerily dreamy for a late spring day. There were still some flowers in some of the plants in your front yard. A heavy contrast with the man in dark clothes, long dark hair, and even darker eyes, waiting outside your door. 

He stood on the porch, looking at you from the corner of his eyes. With a smile that sent chills down your spine. 

“I didn’t mean to scare you.” The man said with a calm voice. “My intention is only to check on you. The world is an insane place right now, it’s dangerous for a young woman to be all alone in a house, don’t you agree?”

“Leave me alone.” You demanded, the tone in your voice giving away your trepidation. “I’m perfectly fine, you can see me from there. Just leave.”

“I promise to let you be, once I see for myself that you’re safe, how does that sound?”

You shut your eyes closed, cold sweat running down your back. He was lying, you knew he was, even through his polite demeanor. Every word that came out of his mouth, no matter how well mannered they were, was dripping with disdain, you could feel it in your bones.

“No.” You asserted, opening your eyes again to focus on him through the blinds. “I’m fine right here. I shouldn’t open the door, no matter how considerate you are.”

Jumping back with a gasp, you were startled when he fully turned to you, taking a few steps closer towards your window. His eyes seemed to be looking through you, past your body and into your soul; it was unnerving, it made the alarm in your head go off.

“You’re a beautiful woman, did you know?”

You breathed in deeply, but didn’t reply, too nervous to say something out of place. His tone was slightly softer, not as tense as before.

“You don’t get compliments often?” He asked, seemingly offended. “What a shame, a pretty girl like you should be showered in them every single day.”

Your face heated up, despite the situation. There you were, in the middle of what could only be described as the end of the world, and this handsome man who had an eerie aura around him was giving you compliments and making you blush, as if you were a high school girl. You just hoped it wasn’t obvious through the glass of the window.

“Honey, open the door.” He demanded again. 

“No…” You replied, loud enough for him to hear, but not so sure of yourself at all.

“Have you seen the news? Heard the radio, maybe? You know, the radio is an old piece of communication, but it comes in handy in situations like these, it doesn’t even need electricity. How else would we know about the state of the world, right?”

“I don’t know where you’re getting at…”

“We should look after each other, more than ever now.” His soothing voice was like honey; even when he was obviously using a fake concerned tone before (was it fake concerned, though?). “You have to open the door for me.”

“Leave me alone!” You raised your voice, shivering. 

It was scaring you how convincing he was. You shouldn’t let anyone inside. It was an obvious statement; no matter what anyone said, it wasn’t safe. You had heard many stories through the radio about what had happened to the poor people that had tried to be nice and caring so they opened the door.

You mustn’t. You had to keep yourself alive.

“You can’t stay in there forever.” 

His tone shifted again, making your stomach sink. It was only a small change, deeper voice, slightly more demanding. Still surprisingly soothing and soft. 

How did he do that?

“You have to be brave during these times. I only want to help.”

You inhaled and exhaled several times, not as slowly and consciously to actually calm yourself down, but out of anxiety. 

“Isn’t being alone scary? Isn’t that why you are so nervous?”

You took a few steps back, away from the window. 

His words were slowly sinking. It was scary to be alone. But what else were you going to do? Nobody even knew exactly what was happening outside, only that it was a risk to let someone inside when you didn’t know where they had been. If you didn’t know if they were safe. 

Maybe you were being too paranoid. Ever since the current situation began, you couldn’t even believe anything was real. Was he actually being disdainful, like you initially thought? He sounded like it, but maybe it was just in your head. Alienation was the cause and consequence of what was happening. 

Maybe you had been listening to way too many gruesome stories. 

“Please, miss, I only wish to see that you are safe.”

His eyes shined through the blinds. Gazing at you through hooded lids. 

There was some ting of pain in your chest; guilt, fear, neediness. If he was actually a bad person, you had no way of knowing. You hated having to leave him outside if he was actually concerned for you. 

You craved some kind of comfort.

He had been nice. He had repeatedly told you about how worried he was for your safety. That couldn’t have been fake, could it? It must have been in your head, the shifts in his tone that you sensed. He had to be a good person, right?

Keeping your eyes on his as you approached the door until you no longer could see him, you carefully unlocked it. Pulling it open, you are face to face with this handsome man, whose name you still didn’t know. Tall, imposing, looking down at you with a dark gleam in his eyes. 

“There we go,” He showed you a wide smile as he took a step into your house. “Was that so hard?”

Only then you notice that you’re trembling, and you can’t actually muster the courage to answer. 

Was he naturally that imposing?

When he took another step closer, he was only a few inches away from you. You strained your neck to look up at him, swallowing loudly the longer he looked at you. 

You jolted in surprise when he gently grabbed your hand, chuckling when he brought it closer to his lips. 

“Still scared of me?” He asked, pressing a kiss to your knuckles, keeping his gaze on you. “There’s nothing to fear. My name is Suguru Geto, and I’m not going to hurt you.”

Cold sweat ran down your back. You couldn’t stop your body from trembling, unresponsive to the commands your brain was trying to give. 

It was in a single moment, when his hand hovered over your eyes and your world turned black, that you knew you had made a mistake. 

Suguru Geto probably wasn't even human. That’s the conclusion you got to. 

Your senses were off. You couldn’t see anything, a mask rendering your vision useless. You knew you were in a bed (you assumed it was yours), hands tied to what you guessed was the headboard. The skin of your body felt strange, tingly. Similar to the feeling you got when you were sitting in a fixed position for more than an hour. Even your sense of smell felt off, like it wasn’t even there. 

He wasn’t human. You were sure of it. 

“I know you’re awake.” His low voice resonated in the room. Suguru sounded so far away. “I tried to make you the most comfortable. I know you’re probably not feeling so good right now, but don’t worry, you’ll feel better in a second.”

When you felt something that must have been his hand graze the skin of your hip, you gasped, only then realizing you were naked. Your skin was numb when he touched it, throwing you off completely. 

“You were so nice for letting me in, darling.” His voice was dripping with lust; even through your current state, you could feel it, making your heart race. “I should reward you for it, don’t you think?”

Both of his hands slid up your sides, stroking and caressing so gently. You try to command your limbs to move, to try and resist, because this wasn’t what you wanted. Or at least, not like this. 

Suguru Geto was attractive, and he had awakened something when you saw him through the window. But this wasn’t even something you considered when you opened the door. 

You made a strangled noise when his hands reached your breasts, squeezing and kneading them together. When he ran his thumbs over your nipples, you gasped, arching your back. Heat bloomed in your lower abdomen when he kept playing with your tits, pinching and tugging at your nipples. 

“You’re sensitive, aren’t you?” Suguru chuckled.

His breath washed over your neck, only then realizing how close he was.

One of his hands trailed down your abdomen, finding your entrance between your legs. You would have been ashamed that he noticed how wet you were, but it felt strange to feel his hot, calloused fingers on your most sensitive parts. 

Your body was ablaze in a split second, even when Suguru was touching you without urgency, taking his time exploring your pussy with the tip of his fingers. Slick dripped from your entrance onto his fingers and down your thighs. You could barely utter a single word (probably due to what he had done to you to render your senses useless), reduced to moans and whimpers. 

His lips were pressed against your neck, barely kissing your skin, as he slowly pushed two digits into your pussy, using pressure against your clit with his thumb. 

“I didn’t think you’d enjoy this so much, but I’m glad I can please you.” Suguru purred against your ear. A choked moan left your lips, making him chuckle. “Still can’t talk? Don’t worry, honey, I know what you need.”

His fingers reached so incredibly deep, stroking your most sensitive spots. Your thighs trembled with every flick of his thumb on your clit, steadily increasing that warm knot in your abdomen. Getting you closer and closer to the edge by the second. 

There was something in his touch that simply ignited a fire in you. If you thought before that Suguru wasn’t human, you were sure of it then, but you couldn’t focus on the idea much, not when he started pumping his fingers into your pussy. 

Your hips jerked against his hands in aborted moves, probably due to whatever effect you were under. Your body still tried to seek more of him, looking for that wonderful release that awaited you once the knot in your abdomen unraveled. His lips planted kisses on your shoulder, occasionally whispering praises against your skin. 

You were too far gone to actually pay attention to what he said. When his thumb kept caressing your clit, with an obvious intent of making you come, you couldn’t stop the sounds coming from your lips. 

It was too much all at once, and you were confused, lost, but most importantly, turned on. Suguru was having some out of worldly effect on you, fingers curling so deep inside you, you saw stars through the darkness, every time he grazed a spongy spot inside you. 

With a particular loud moan, you came, reaching your orgasm as your toes curled, back arching into his touch. Your mind turned blank, skin still tingly and numb even as you reached your peak. He kept sliding his digits in and out, helping you ride out your orgasm, prolonging it until you could no longer take it, letting out a strangled sob. 

“You did so well, my pretty girl.” Suguru reassured you, pressing a kiss to your jaw. As you tried to catch your breath, still feeling the afterglow of an unexpected orgasm, he kept talking, kissing your cheek. “Will you do something for me now?”

[boytoyhalo]

Your Selkie au is super compelling! Plus you are a very good writer. A question, will you ever go into more detail about Pac's previous captive situation? I'm very interested in how you will adapt Fuga's lore into your au. ( Specially bc of Cell and Cellbit stuff)

I'M SO SO SO LATE BUT IM USING FITPAC WEEK DAY 3 (WHICH IM ALSO LATE FOR) AS AN EXCUSE TO FINALLY, FINALLYYYYY GET THIS POSTED THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT ANON AND EVERYONE ELSE WHO'S AN ENJOYER OF THIS AU I PROMISE IT ISN'T ABANDONED IVE JUST BEEN IN AN END OF YEAR SLUMP

selkie au snippet #4 (i think) || T || slash (ambiguous) || @fitpacweek day 3 (belated its actually day 4) AU day!!!

read the rest of my posts about this au here

"Can I ask you somethin' personal?"

Pac paused, hand suspended halfway towards the checkerboard that was currently serving as him and Fit's way of passing the long hours up in the lamp room of the lighthouse. He kept his eyes on the round piece he was holding as he deliberated on how to answer, sure that if he met Fit's gaze his face would give away his nervousness; "personal" could mean a wide range of topics, most of which would spell disaster for Pac and his poorly constructed web of secrets. He slowly placed the piece in it's spot on the board, fighting to keep his voice even as he responded.

"Mmm, you can ask, yeah. I might not answer, but you can ask." Fit hummed bemusedly, absently flipping his own game piece between his fingers and he contemplated his next move.

"What happened to your leg?" Pac's breath caught in his throat, and Fit rushed to continue, "It's ok if you don't wanna talk about it, I get it. I just- I mean, you've probably figured out how I lost my arm, right?" Pac looked up at the familiar, mechanical clacking of the veteran's stiff wooden fingers flexing in and out of their open position, eyes involuntarily darting to the gnarled pink scarring that crawled from under his collar and up to the side of his head. He quickly returned his gaze to the board, face reddening a little in shame. Thankfully though, Fit seemed far from offended. "Heh, it's okay, I know. It's pretty obvious. And besides, you're a smart man. I'd be surprised if you hadn't assumed correctly. Me though - I'm just brawn, I don't have a whole lotta brainpower up in this thing." He knocked his fake knuckles lightly against his temple, a light smile on his face. "So if you are okay with me knowing, you're gonna need to tell me."

A small, nervous laugh bubbled it's way out of Pac's chest, his face properly flushed now in a mix of embarassment and flattery. "Don't - don't say that about yourself Fit, you're smart! Smarter than me, probably-" He cleared his throat, redirecting his focus to the topic at hand (ha.) "I can tell you, I don't mind. It's just a, it's a tough topic, you know? I need to get my head in the right place." Fit nodded easily like he understood, which Pac supposed he did at least somewhat.

"Take your time, I'm not going anywhere." The selkie chuckled a bit, tracing the edges of the paneled glass walls that surrounded them as he considered the best way to talk around the subject; he knew, or at least had decided, that he owed it to Fit to give him some semblance of the truth. After all, they had been growing steadily closed for months now and yet Fit knew so little about his life. Which was out of necessity, or course, but his friend had been so kind and so patient with him, never demanding more information than he was given. Pac needed - no, he WANTED to let him in as much as he reasonably could. He deserved it.

"I..." He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, steeling himself to sort through the painful, tangled memories and hoping he would be able to hold himself together. He starts at the beginning, where he won't have to omit too much of the truth, though if anything that makes it harder to talk about. "Mike and I were on a merchant ship off the coast of São Paulo that was attacked by axis submarines a few years back." Fit winced sympathetically, patiently waiting for him to continue as he picked his next words. "We avoided the worst of the blast, but... Mike was in really bad condition, and I had to hang onto him with one arm and a piece of the wreck with the other while I waited for help to come. By the time someone found us, I was too tired and too um- too relieved to realize that we were being taken as prisoners and not as refugees."

It was all technically true so far, just with some important details omitted: like how they were only on the ship in the first place because their pelts were being imported as merchandise by a fisherman who believed himself to be incredibly lucky, and how they weren't taken as prisoners of war as Fit was no doubt assuming. Pac fails to suppress a shudder as he remembers the smug, taunting grin of the man that stood above him on the deck of his supposed refuge, two familiar seal pelts clutched in his meaty fists.

"I'm so sorry you went through that, Pac. You don't have to keep-" Pac cuts him off, already committed to opening up.

"No, I want to tell you. We," He clears his throat again, pushing down the memories of too-small tanks full of too-salty water, of needles and IV drips and white lab coats and pencils scratching on clipboards as he writhed in pain. "We woke up in some sort of facility, I'm not sure where exactly? I think the men who had us were European but that's all I remember, it's all blurry you know? And that's where we met Cellbit and Felps actually-" The image of frenzied black eyes claws its way to the front of his mind against his will, but he can't help a small smile at Fit's attentiveness as his eyebrows raise in intrigue, the checkerboard between them completely forgotten.

"Anyway, we were there for- months, I think. And long story short Cellbit ended up, um. He tried to- to eat my leg off?" It comes out sounding uncertain, Pac having realized there was no way to say it that wouldn't raise more questions. Sure enough, Fit's mouth drops open.

"Wait he- He tried to eat you?"

"Not- it wasn't- aaaaugh, he wasn't himself ok? They were- they were cruel to us, and they injected him with these drugs that made him all crazy and violent and they kinda just. Let him do it? It wasn't his fault, is what I'm saying." Fit looks disturbed, although significantly less so than Pac would expect from most people. He supposes bearing witness to the horrors of war would give you a higher tolerance to this sort of thing.

The thing is, it really wasn't Cellbit's fault. He had been there the longest of any of them, starved and beaten and forced through their cruel experiments since he had been a teenager. He was angry and desperate and hungry, and it was pure bad luck that Pac had happened to be the closest to him when the "researchers" had decided to test the effects of whatever combination of steroids they had injected him with. The ghost of his leg twinges in pain as it remembers the feeling of sharp teeth tearing through it's flesh.

"Wait so did Cellbit..." Fit hesitates, like he can't quite put together what he means to ask. "So he, bit your leg off? but how does that even-" He's interrupted by Pac giggling, and after a moment he joins in quietly with a confused laugh of his own.

"No, no he- he just did enough damage that the sci- that the jailers had to amputate it. And it wasn't that bad honestly, I mean, they weren't kind enough to knock me out before they started sawing but at least I didn't die!" His amusement at Fit's horrified reaction to his nonchalance almost drowns out the echoes of grief that his heart sounds for one of his fellow prisoners who hadn't been so lucky. Pac puts on a wide grin, forcing himself to perk up from his slumped posture. "So anyway, that's the story! Pretty cool don't you think?" Fit sputters a shocked laugh.

"Pretty- Yeah, sure, Pac. That's- *cough*- that's cool, yeah." It's a joke, obviously, but warmth washes over him anyway at the way that Fit lets him control the weight of the conversation like always. He wouldn't be able to handle trying to talk about his past seriously, and he's grateful to whatever higher power may or may not exist for bringing him Fit, who not only cares but understands despite being a human, and who always without fail meets him wherever he needs to be at. Pac doesn't know what he did to deserve a friend like him. "So, okay," Fit's voice snaps him out of the appreciative haze he had fallen into. "How did you guys get out? Were you released, or rescued, or..." He trails off, eyes imploring him to go on. Pac feels his face light up at the opportunity to discuss his favorite part of the tale - the only part, he likes, really.

"Oh, you're not gonna believe it. It was Richas! He actually saved us!"

"What?" Fit exclaims in elated disbelief.

"Yeah! So ok - they were keeping him prisoner too, but he was just a baby, like a, a toddler right? And the guards that were assigned to him treated him like their own kid-" Minus the horrible inhumane experimentation, of course. "- and he somehow, he figured out how to use their sympathy to get them to tell him where they kept all their keys," - and all the pelts - "and then managed to convince them to let him play with us alone. So he came to me and Mike and told us, so we told him to steal us some guard uniforms and figure out where the breaker box was, and after some planning and waiting for the right time we were able to escape by having him shut off the power and filing out with the rest of the guards! Mike wanted it to just be the three of us but I told him we weren't leaving the others behind." For all the suffering they had been put through it had honestly been comically easy - the facility they were at was small and not well guarded, probably funded independently considering that if any powerful government had proof of the selkies' existence everyone including the scientists would have been in a much bigger mess - the world was already at war, Pac doubted anyone was eager to add another variable to the conflict.

Fit crosses his arms and sits back, nodding in amazement. "Huh, so little Richarlyson is a hero! That's crazy"

"What, you don't believe me?" Pac shouts in mock offense.

"No no no I believe you! That kid is a fighter, I know it. So you guys all just stuck together after that? What about Bagi and Forever?"

"Ah, so- Bagi and Cellbit, they're brothers, or uhm- they're brother and sister, yes? And Bagi had been searching for Cellbit since he was taken, and somehow she ended up at the place we were being kept just a few days after we escaped, and she was able to track us from there. She's crazy smart, Cellbit and her both are. And Forever," Well, truthfully, Forever had just swam up to their pod and started playing with Richas one day while they were searching for a new home, and then the two had become inseparable so he just... stuck around. But Pac wasn't sure how to spin that into something that sounded reasonable for a human family, so he just went with "Forever just showed up one day and wouldn't leave." Fit laughed again at that, and this time Pac laughed with him.

It felt unbelievably good to tell Fit about his story like this, even with parts of it changed. Still, he wanted nothing more than to tell him the truth of what he was - he almost did, right then and there, swayed by the sound if his laughter and the mirth in his eyes. But, he reminded himself, that had to be a family decision; it wasn't just his secrets at stake. It was all of them, and as much as he loved trusted Fit and would be happy to gamble his own safety on that trust, he wasn't willing to risk his whole family.

...But, it would be so much easier if he could just say the whole truth. He wonders if Fit would react with the same attentiveness and amazement he gave to Pac's storytelling.

The rest of the day passed with little more of note, mostly filled with idle chit chat and card games. As Fit tries to teach him how to play Kings on the Corners for the third time, Pac finds himself thinking about how much Fit was changing his life without even realizing. A few months ago, Pac had never wanted or even tolerated human company that wasn't absolutely necessary. But now, he couldn't imagine not having the veteran around to occupy his time. In fact, when Fit had taken his first two-week relief back on shore after two months of service, Pac had felt inescapably lonely even when surrounded by his pod. Not even Richas, who had also been upset over the Ramon's absence, had been able to completely cheer him up. And while Pac's always been somewhat fascinated by humans, and had enjoyed watching the previous lighthouse keepers as they went about their work, he had never found himself as interested by any of it as he does when it comes to Fit.

"What is it?" Fit's voice snaps him out of it yet again, cards abandoned as he looks at him curiously. "You're staring."

"Huh? Oh, nothing, nothing! Just thinking about Richas and Ramon - what do you think they're up to?"

"They should still be hanging out with Cellbit, right? They're probably doing puzzles or something." Fit looks at the clock over on the left side off the room. "It's almost six, Bad should be here soon to take over for the night. Do you want to go join them and I can catch up?"

"Um-" Pac flusters, face heating up slightly. He's not sure why the emotional exhaustion of talking about losing his leg is what's bringing all these revelations to his mind, but he can't seem to pull his thoughts away from how much he appreciates the man in front of him. Which.... "Yeah, I think I'll go find them now! I'll see you soon?" Fit nods.

"Sounds good, Pac. I'll see you in a little bit." With a nod back at him, Pac shuffles out the door and makes his way down the tower. Instead of going to find Cellbit and the children, however, he beelines straight to the rocks where his pelt is stashed and hastily wraps himself in it's familiar comfort, sliding into the water before his limbs have even finished morphing into flippers. Surely a nice, solo swim is what he needs to clear his head.

...If only he could take Fit with him.

[mimbotomy]

I am high on weed and NyQuil and yet am still awake because a bad cough and a fever and for some reason decided it was a good idea to read the AC Odyssey Novelization! Here are some random things that stuck out that I think you should know:

Kassandra’s hears Nikolaos’ lessons in her head throughout the book.

She also loves Phoibe so much but tries so hard to pretend she doesn’t because her mother told her that love is weakness when she was a kid.

Kassandra finds Ikaros as a hatchling taking shelter among the bones at the bottom of Mount Taygetos.

It’s mostly from Kassandra’s POV but there’s some other brief POVs too. The Cult POVs seem to exist pretty much make sure that the reader knows they’re like super fucking evil and Stentor’s few POVs are mostly to bitch about Kassandra.

In one of his less bitchy POVs it’s revealed that a Spartan soldier in Megaris tried to grab Kassandra and kiss her and she either full on broke or just badly bruised his jaw

Building off that sorta, the only person Kassandra even kisses is Alkibiades at the symposium, and mostly to get information.

Nikolaos’ fate is left ambiguous for a long time.

Someone mocks Barnabas’ storytelling in line to see the Oracle and Herodotos later sets the guards on him to provide a distraction so Kassandra can sneak back and talk with the Oracle more.

The Cultists are way less protective of their identities in Delphi and way more obvious with their plans to get rid of Deimos. Also, Kassandra kills a lot of them on accident.

Aspasia keeps Kassandra from drinking poisoned wine, courtesy of Hermippos, at the symposium and helps her escape Athens

Chrysis is killed by her own biological son, the priest Dolpos who helped Myrrine, in revenge for both taking his tongue and killing countless children over the years.

Kassandra and Brasidas’ super badass warehouse fight doesn’t happen. Instead they are discovered by the Monger and taken captive and rescued by two heterae prisoners after the Monger burns Kassandra’s legs with an iron poker.

Phoibe dies playing hide and seek with Kassandra as they escort Perikles to see the Parthenon one last time and Kassandra first realizes something is wrong because she can’t hear Phoibe’s giggles anymore 😭

The first time Kassandra cries after that night on Taygetos is when Phoibe dies.

Aspasia only fully decides to leave the cult after Perikles’ death.

Pausanias’ super secret cult nickname is the Red Eyed Lion and he is uncovered because of a wine stained map or letter or something and a ring seal of a lion and some other super circumstantial evidence.

When they return to Sparta, Barnabas and the crew somehow temporarily sink the Adrestia in a cove to keep from being spotted by Spartan scouts.

The Kos and Arkadia storylines don’t happen at all and the Olympics happen after Kassandra and Myrrine already got their house.

At one point, Kassandra refers to her new family as Myrrine, Barnabas, Herotodos, and Brasidas, which made my shipper heart happy. Then in that same paragraph she refers to Herodotos and Brasidas as something like proud uncles, so we’re pretending that doesn’t exist

Kassandra is imprisoned in Athens for months and like in the game, is “rescued” by Barnabas and Sokrates. Barnabas still has his shovel but Sokrates has a broom instead of a pitchfork.

Also, there’s a small subplot about the woman Barnabas has a fling with on Naxos and her husband who Herodotos met that visited Thera. He’s being tortured by the Cult when Kassandra is imprisoned in Athens and is brutally murdered when he refuses to tell them anything.

Kleon was 100% planing to kill Deimos at Amphipolis.

Brasidas basically dies telling Kassandra how happy he is to see her what the fuck???

A lot of the confrontation on Taygetos is the same as the good ending of the game, where Deimos tells Kassandra that he’s done terrible things. But he also tells her that he can’t change no matter how much he wants to while preparing to throw a knife at Myrrine so she kills him.

Nikolaos and Stentor watch Alexios’ funeral at a distance until Kassandra and Myrrine invite them to join them for dinner.

Kassandra doesn’t fight the Minotaur and Co. but is just given the staff by Pythagoras, who talks to her after his death through the pyramid.

Aspasia’s fate is somewhat left ambiguous in the end because Kassandra’s focused too much on the vision from the pyramid.

Overall, it read a little bit like a weird fanfic! I saw glimpses of the characters we love from the game but since the author cut out such big pieces of the plot and every side quest - which makes sense since it was a very short book - we didn’t get to see too much of them either. Except for Kassandra, who is a lot more no nonsense than I imagine her as. There’s no flirting or and very little joking, but I really liked her resourcefulness and unique fighting style. And her love for Phoibe and her family that shines like a beacon throughout the entire book, from the very beginner where her mother tells her it is unspartan to love. Of course, our lovely Kassandra is a lover and a fighter and that does not change no matter what ❤️

Hope this list helps some of my fellow lovely wonderful odyssey fic writers I love you all so much you beautiful souls 😘😘😘

[backmarkerr]

Fic Writer Interview 📝

tagged by @brawngp2009 ! Thank you, it was fun!

Heads up, I'll be keeping this to my F1 writing only! --

How many works do you have on AO3? 7 😎 What's your total word count? The ao3 stats page tells me it’s 30 302. My writing programme tells me there's 20k more in wips but that includes notes and stuff that aren’t really fic writing What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Isn't the stats page so great? Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I do! I don’t always see them right away, but I like to say thank you to each person who takes the time to let me know they read and enjoyed something I wrote :) What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? I’m not sure... I don't really have any fic that ends angstily, but I guess the closest would be either Winter Pitstop or Head in the clouds? They’re more ambiguous than angsty, though… What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? I’d say Eyes on the prize has the happiest ending out of the current finished ones. Do you write crossovers? I don't write actual crossovers, but I love crossover AUs! I tend to draw them more than write them, though. Have you ever received hate on a fic? No. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Hell yeah!!! I only started writing smut "properly" in the past couple of years, it can be very challenging but that makes it extra rewarding when it's done. As for what kind, just m/m so far. I’d like to diversify it one day, but who knows... Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not a full fic, but lets just say there's a reason I no longer share WIP snippets. Have you ever had a fic translated? Not to my knowledge. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, but honestly all my fics are so rooted in what Ghost and I come up with together that she might as well be a co-writer. What's your all-time favourite ship? Simi. I was definitely not planning on being so incredibly compelled by a ship of two older retired blond drivers, but here we are. The lore is incredible and I learn something new every day, the parallels are out of this world, the reason a megapost is so hard to write is because there is truly SO much. But also their love is so refreshing! Most of my fandom life was spent stuck in ships that were doomed from the start/impossible so Simi is really freeing for me. What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? I sure hope I’ll finish all of them! What are your writing strengths? Not to toot my own horn, but I think I’m pretty good at “show, don’t tell” in a way that the reader can put the dots together without me spelling it out for them. For example, I think I make it pretty obvious that Seb and Kimi love each other, even if they don't say it and the word "love" itself barely shows up in my writing. What are your writing weaknesses? Grammar and punctuation, especially in regards to dialogue. English isn’t my first language and I learned writing in a different style, so it can be pretty difficult. Also prepositions like on/in/at are a nightmare. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? Like everything else, it depends on how it’s done. I’ve seen fics where it’s used really well in the context and heightens the experience, and others where it’s just unnecessary. Personally, I’d have to be really sure that the language is correct before I used it, and really sure that it fits the situation in the fic. What was the first fandom you wrote for? As far as you’re concerned, F1 is my first fandom ;) What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to? Honestly I’m just here for Simi. No other F1 pairing inspires me to write. What's your favourite fic you've written? You never forget your first, right? Winter Pitstop is still my personal favourite. Maybe it will lose that spot once I finally write and post the sequels I planned last year.

-- I'm not sure who has been tagged already, so i tag @racingghost and whoever else sees this!

[steddiemicrofic]

Steddie Microfic January 15th-21st Masterlist

This has officially been our busiest month for microfics! As of this post, we are only one away from 100 microfics for the month. Happy Hole Month!

Just a friendly reminder that if you plan to participate and want your submission reblogged and added to the masterlist, it will need to be posted by 11:59PM your time on January 30th. This gives us time to check the word counts and add it to the queue. If it is posted after that point, it will not be added to the queue or the masterlist.

We can't wait to see the rest of the posts!

Wake-up Call: An End or a Beginning? by @berenwrites | Rated T | cw: past character death, angst with hopeful ending

Ahoy Sailor! by @sidekick-hero | Rated M | no cw | tags: s3 au, scoops ahoy steve, the d-word makes one appearance

gagged by @vecnuthy | Rated E | no cw | tags: doggy style, bottom steve/top eddie

A Dream Come True? by @runninriot | Rated M | cw: masturbation/hand job, watching porn | tags: and they were roommates, eddie munson has a crush on steve harrington

Roll Call by @lady-lostmind | Rated T | cw: mention of death and blood

watch the five hole by @steddieas-shegoes | Rated T | cw: language | tags: hockey au, goalie eddie munson, forward steve harrington, friends to enemies to lovers, ambigous but pretty obvious ending

Hole In One by @steddietogo | Rated T | cw: swearing

dance with me by @sailing-through-hawkins | Rated T | no cw | tags: masquerade ball, slightly other!steve

Harvest by @machtaholic | Rated G | no cw

Push by @griefabyss69 | Rated E | no cw

Strange Relationship: Of Sex & Revelations by @berenwrites | Rated E | cw: mentions past underage for US not for Europe where it happened

Troll Toll by @wynnyfryd | Rated M | no cw | tags: future fic, crossover, crack treated ridiculously

throwin' clay by @steddieas-shegoes | Rated T | no cw | tags: modern au, pottery teacher eddie, helpless at pottery steve, some platonic stobin, ambiguous ending

Trying to break through by @atimeofyourlife | Rated T | no cw | tags: pre steddie, steve has powers

Pusher by @griefabyss69 | Rated G | cw: mention of Christmas, Steve's parents

i was waiting on a different story by @zombiethingy | Rated G | cw: major character death | tags: grieving, past steddie

The adventures of Eddie Munson, jerk by @just-my-latest-hyperfixation | Rated T | no cw | tags: modern au, meet cute, HOH Steve Harrington, Eddie "foot in mouth" Munson, Eddie being a horny shit

swimmin' hole by @steddieas-shegoes | Rated T | cw: suggestive language | tags: flirting, pre-steddie, pre-season 4

Pushing It by @griefabyss69 | Rated T | cw: mention of Christmas, weed smoking

I'll remember (for) you by @katyawriteswhump | Rated M | no cw | tags: steve has head trauma/ptsd, memory loss, protective eddie

[shredsandpatches]

Can you expand on Faust's final fate not being earned being central to all versions of the story? Because in the Goethe at least I couldn't agree more. Faust's salvation has nothing to do with Faust and that's the point.

OKAY SO. I do want to preface what's likely to be a horrible incoherent ramble that contradicts itself like five different times per paragraph by mentioning, first, that I haven't fully worked out an actual argument or Grand Unified Theory of Faustology, I'm just kind of turning it over in my head, and, that I recognize that the Christian framework of the original versions of the story isn't always intended literally in adaptations and doesn't always reflect orthodox Christian notions of salvation and damnation. I'm still grappling with what those concepts mean to Goethe, particularly, what the ultimate end of the "ever upward" approach might be. There are definitely multiple people likely to be reading this with far more in-depth knowledge of Goethe than I have (and MUCH better German). I do think, though, that that sense of undeservedness cuts across versions of the story--certainly the serious approaches starting with Marlowe--and I also think it's important because it makes us consider why it doesn't feel quite right. What moral standards are we using to consider either Faust himself or the version of the universe in which he operates?

(eta: put in a readmore)

Marlowe's version, for instance, is very much still informed by the Reformation-era context that originally produced the story, and is rooted in his own experience being a Cambridge student at a time when Calvinism was the hot topic of the day. He presents a sharp disconnect between the theological and moral arcs of the play: as an article I recently read puts it, the primary focus is on Faustus' sins against God, not against other people (most of his actions against other people are either dumb pranks, actions arguably taken in self-defense, or actions against targets that the original audience would see as deserving, like the pope). Faustus isn't a particularly good person, of course, but neither is he particularly evil, and the idea that one's reprobate status (or impenitence, it's ambiguous) would be reflected in one's actions is weirdly absent. He's at his least sympathetic before he sells his soul. The theological arguments for his damnation are pretty cohesive but I think it also doesn't feel right on a human level: does this mean we're meant to question our own sympathies, or Calvinist/general Protestant theology? And then with Goethe's version you have the opposite issue, where Faust's motivations as described are more sympathetic than those of Marlowe's Faustus--he wants happiness, satisfaction, youth--and at the same time he causes so much collateral damage with his massive self-absorption. He doesn't generally seem to act out of malicious intent and generally doesn't actively want to wreck people's lives specifically, but at the same time he doesn't pay heed to things like the obvious and foreseeable consequences of seducing a girl who lives in a strict patriarchal society or asking a demon to convince people to move out of their house for urban planning purposes and only really acknowledges them when it's too late. What does it mean, in this case, for him to be saved, for whatever value of "saved" exists in Goethe's universe? Or, since Goethe seems to operate on a strongly allegorical level especially in Faust II (I haven't even gotten into the whole cosmic-wager side of the story) what are the big ideas at work here? We have to tease those out instead of just passing judgment on the character, and we have to hash out how Faust-the-character is quintessentially human and what that means.

So, like. The tl;dr version is that I think that because the Faust narrative is a collection of stories about our standards, what we value and what we condemn, and our human limitations and where we stand in relation to (whatever concept of) the eternal, his ultimate fate is always unsettling because the idea of sort of weighing up everything about a person and finally defining them might be relatively easy from a distance but the more you think about it the harder it gets, and it's important that we sit with that. If that makes sense.

[soloavengers]

An attempt to analyze two essential parallel DD2 scenes, heavy spoiler warning.

The Dragon speaking in the coronation scene where you speak to Pathfinder has my head hurting, let me compare the two coronation scenes. Don’t expect answers, just thoughts, theories and more questions.

The Dragon:

The Dragon again:

(hey Syllie should’ve taken off the mask!) They aren’t the exact same and I love that, because it’s implying the Arisen did demonstrate their will. Suppose it was by killing the Dragon, then why is the Dragon speaking? Is the bond reserving after death, or did it not die?

The Dragon:

Pathfinder’s parallel:

This was my favorite. I like how they speak.

In the first scene the Dragon basically assigns us to find out the truth, (and change fate.) Pathfinder tries to tell us the truth, and make us believe it.

Then very much offers us the chance to, cast aside our heart and our life both, by giving us the chance to use the Godsbane. I love the moment that follows, the flight was basically our chance to do just that, the way the Dragon says: “It’s too late.” when we arrive. It’s too late for us to use the Godsbane.

I feel like I don’t need to go deeper than this, I feel like this is a very surface level analysis but I don’t care if the things I’ve written down and noticed are very obvious, I enjoy writing my thoughts.

One interesting thing is I don’t notice the Dragon in the first scene ever mentioning our charge, which Pathfinder mentions, the lack of parallels there is something.

It sure mentions it in Melve. OUGH.

Okay, back to the coronation scene (No.2)

A lot of people question what the fuck do they mean by “or through the eyes of another…” I’ve reached an answer I’m way too confident about, and it’s that in case you fail (wake up in the shack,) time turns back to pre-Unmoored World, the another would be the Arisen which failed.

The fucked up thing is, I keep doubting the idea that this was all Pathfinder’s plot, that Pathfinder has a Seneschal like duty and so it was all apart of the test, the dogma 2.0, if you will. Can’t be sure, of anything. Least of all if the Dragon speaking was really the Dragon.

Is Pathfinder a being with an agenda against the Arisen so they push them away from their True fate, gets them attached to the world only to wreck it before their very eyes because they dared listen to the Dragon pretty much begging them to end the Cycle?

I love the messiness of this, I love the ambiguity, the room for us to decide if the first coronation scene truly happened or not. However, it hurts my head and I’d love to learn the truth even more, thank you.

The two scenes could be for the sake of creating a loop, it could be that, your Arisen from the very beginning has already failed.

Failed, turned back in time. But Pathfinder cannot ignore them, so they get to remember, a little. Like the first coronation scene is the second but twisted in memory. The Dragon speaking in the second scene… To make the Arisen think of it and consider the Godsbane? That’s the bit that bothers me the most I think, the bit that had me comparing the scenes. I hope I missed something that would give me an epiphany. Until then, this was all I have to say <3

[burins]

director's cut meme: estate? 🙏🙏🙏

manor horror! manor horror! The working title of the Damian shows up to a haunted manor fic (beyond “manor horror”) was “there are many rooms in my father’s house and all of them are trying to kill me.” I knew that I wanted to write this fic basically as soon as I saw the brief for the Gotham Horror zine. I don’t know that people generally apply to a zine with a full outline and opening scene pre-written, but I sure did! It was extremely lucky that a) the zine mods liked that idea and b) I frontloaded all of this quite so significantly, because final pieces were due the week after I got back from our honeymoon and “hello my love let me hide in the hotel room for a couple hours to write my horror fic” is not really the move.   

Because this was a zine fic, I also couldn’t talk about the writing process while it was happening, which felt like several months of sitting on my hands and squirming. I love to talk about writing! I love to talk about process! So thank you for asking about this one!

I was really going for a particular mid-century horror writing style here (which is probably obvious.) I read a LOT of Shirley Jackson in prep for this (actually, I think I read The Sundial on your rec!) and flipped through some of Bradbury’s horror stories. I did hunt down some Arabic horror writing to see what tropes Damian might have in the back of his mind beyond my vague memories of the spookier bits of 1001 Nights. Not much genre writing gets translated into English, and most of what I found was pretty modern, but I had a good time with it! (I couldn’t find a full English translation of The Cairo Maquette but I would like to read one.) Also I flipped through a lot of photos of very crusty neo-Gothic interiors to pastiche together in my head. Thank God I didn’t actually have to draw anything.  

Because I decided to write from Damian’s POV, I also needed to actually read his comics. So I read the Morrison run cherry-picked for his appearances, and also the Tomasi Batman and Robin. (One of these was a MUCH more positive experience than the other.)

I had a bit of a time figuring out what Damian should sound like. Obviously he’s a kid, but he’s a very precocious kid who has always been treated as a miniature adult, and who is vaguely embarrassed whenever he does something he thinks is childish. I was aiming for the kind of diction that a kid gets when they read a lot and talk to adults a lot and basically never interact with other kids, and I think I landed there. (I did hit a moment where I was extremely tight on word count and had two scenes left to write and my editing note to myself was “does Damian need to talk quite so much like a dictionary.” Maybe at some point I will go back and undo some of my word count edits.)

I also needed Damian to be frightened, but Damian is not someone who is going to acknowledge fear, especially right after leaving the League! So I had to find ways to convey the sense of creeping unease when I couldn’t have Damian’s POV actually admit that anything was scary. Once again thank you Shirley Jackson for doing this way better so that I could imitate it (We Have Always Lived in the Castle in particular.) 

The other thing I struggled a bit with was which of the Robins would actually appear in the fic. I really wanted the unsettling vibes of Damian being alone in this strange house with even stranger adults, which I knew would be diminished by the presence of another kid, even a hostile one. So Tim isn’t there. Dick is, because Dick is not a kid to Damian, but also, Dick is an ambiguous ghost. 

(more below the cut, because Damian isn't the only one capable of talking like a dictionary)

I actually had a whole ending to that scene with Dick in the front hallway that I scrapped because it was before I had decided Dick was the daytime face of the nighttime Robin:

“What,” comes a growl from behind them, “is the meaning of this?” Father is standing in the hall with his arms crossed, a long, bulky shadow. Damian lets the umbrella fall to his side and squares his chin. “Father,” he begins, “we were--” but he doesn’t know how to finish. They hadn’t been training, not really. Damian had been using an umbrella as a weapon, of all the ridiculous, childish things. Grayson folds at the waist and lands neatly on the marble tile. “We were goofing off, Bruce,” he says. “It was my idea. Thought I’d come by and introduce myself to your new one, since you seemed unlikely to bother.” A hallway light flickers to life as he steps forward. Father’s eyes narrow. Damian is aware of a sense of rising pressure, as though the weight of Father’s disapproval were a tangible thing. His ears pop, and he suppresses a wince, and then Father huffs and turns on his heel to leave. “Great to see you as always, Bruce,” Grayson grumbles under his breath. At some point during the conversation his hand had landed on Damian’s shoulder, and Damian had not removed it. He corrects the oversight now.

This was fun but it ended up not fitting where I went with the character.

Finally, Bruce’s motivations! I hit the point in the fic where I had plotted everything out and realized that while Bruce needed to be opaque to Damian he could not be opaque to me. So I wrote out everyone’s motivations, which was enormously helpful for finessing character interactions. I’m including them here because I think I’m very funny.

Damian motivations: wants to be Robin - Talia has held this up as a goal for him, either misdirecting or outright lying to him about what becoming Robin entails. (why? does she think he can break the curse? does she think this will cement Bruce to her? if Damian dies and the house eats him, he’s Robin forever)  Bruce motivations: does not want another Robin. Needs another Robin desperately. Has watched 3-4 kids die on his watch. Alfred motivations: he’s a house :) House motivations: wants another Robin, but only the Right Robin. Happy with the Robin it has (Dick- amalgamation.) Distrusts Damian, who is an outsider and here For The Wrong Reasons.

Bruce’s motivations were also why I included that final scene from his POV, because I think the essential tragedy of his crusade being something he cannot do alone and that devours everyone who comes to help him with it is simply so delicious. (Although she very much didn’t appear in this fic, I did land loosely on Talia thinking that Damian could break the curse and be Robin successfully. He’s her son! She trained him! Of course he can do this.)  

Okay I’m cutting myself off here because this is now a solid 1/8th of the length of the actual fic. thank you :)

[fangirlinglikeabus]

semi-serious sand thoughts:

i’m not actually opposed to servalan/tarrant conceptually, at least within this very specific scenario...part of that i think is that if you’re going to do a story that touches on a pain servalan experienced when she was very young, bringing in a Fresh Faced Youth to evoke that period of life works. also i get the impression that getting to play the dashing hero type does appeal to tarrant - see assassin, where he’s absolutely swayed by piri being apparently emotionally vulnerable and likely to need him. so like at the very least there’s some sort of precedent within the show. the fact that he’s so QUICKLY attracted by servalan’s tears adds to some of the ambiguity surrounding to what extent she’s manipulating him because surely she knows that, despite himself, this would be an effective way to win him over - and i’m not 100% convinced that would be the case with any other character. do i think all of this is entirely realised within the episode? uh...not sure. but i do think there’s reasoning behind the whole thing.

also i just think she deserves a boy toy or two idc

speaking of tarrant. love when servalan says he saved her life and he replies ‘we’re all entitled to one really big mistake.’ like buddy you are going to make one WAY bigger by the end of this episode.

adored that final scene of servalan thinking over both keller and tarrant before crushing the water cube tarrant gave her in her hand to get rid of the last of the sand. mainly because that looks like it could surely cut you, so it just comes across as this almost self-destructive act with which she closes off the potential for emotional vulnerability which was opened up by the sand trapping them. destroying both the gift tarrant gave her and the thing that brought them together. he remains unsure how sincere she was, she gets rid of any evidence she WAS sincere and in emotional pain - and to do so she breaks glass RIGHT into the palm of her hand.

(also potentially thinking of this in relation to ‘i don’t care about us’ and her placing tarrant’s gun up to her head and daring him to shoot her - which is pretty intense even if she guesses he won’t do it. women will literally murder their way into the presidency of an authoritarian state instead of going to therapy)

another good scene, this time with the scorpio crew: soolin theorising they’re being affected by that alien mind that got onto the ship through cally and vila snapping at her and storming off, only for her to admit to avon when he queries it that she doesn’t actually believe what she just said. just...up there with her telling orac ‘you wouldn’t know where to start’ when he offers her her heart’s desires in terms of what i find to be Tantalising Soolin Character Moments.

i’ve now also watched gold and while i think it’s a very solid episode (avon losing it laughing at the end when the entire crew are pissed at him because he risked their lives for a trap that got them nothing and netted servalan a bunch of money?? man has Reached His Fucking Limit and is now firmly Past His Fucking Limit) it does disappoint me a bit that dayna and tarrant seem to be largely interacting like usual. don’t get me wrong, i do like seeing the crew act like a competent unit and i’m not asking for a big blow up, but they’re probably two of the closer members of the crew, Away Mission Buddies, and he just hooked up with the woman who killed her father. that's a massive betrayal by someone she thought of as a friend, and i’d have liked a bit more obvious tension there even if it was just in small moments of interaction

i honestly had a great time with sand. i think every blake’s 7 member should have an episode where they’re locked in a room with servalan, i wanna see what would happen to each of them

[ifuckinglovedinosaurssomuchjesus]

GODZILLA MOVIE MARATHON: Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla (1974)

Ah, the twenty year anniversary of the big guy himself, celebrated with the introduction of one his most enduring adversaries in the doppelganger automaton: Mechagodzilla!

Mechagodzilla is a great character and deserving of his spot in the "Big Five." His popularity comes from his versatility and his status as a mechanical, artificial monster, but that's not really explored in his first outing. Instead he's kind of just a generic space monster, the whole robot double aspect really only mattering for an obvious twist that is revealed at the end of the first act. After that, he's just another kaiju controlled by cartoonishly evil aliens set to invade earth.

I will say though, despite the trope being hopelessly tired by this point, this is probably the best alien invasion plot since Astro Monster. Mostly held up by the Interpol officer, who adds some mystery to the first half and executes some fun spy action once the climax hits. Don't get me wrong, you're still just sitting here waiting for the monsters to show up like almost every other Godzilla movie, but it'll keep your attention until then, which is more than a good chunk of the later Showa era can claim.

Luckily the monsters do show up pretty quickly, in fact the first fight is at the twenty minute mark, where we get to watch poor Anguirus get wrecked. That's another appeal of the movie, it's not like vs Gigan or Astro Monster where the monsters feel unconnected to the human drama, here the entire plot is about getting the statue MacGuffin to Okinawa before the aliens can steal it and the prophecy ends. Keeping the kaiju in the forefront narratively and adding a ticking clock keeps the story jugging forward and prevents that sort of meandering boredom some of the worst kaiju films suffer from.

King Caesar in the man of the hour in this film, the monster they need to awaken in order to save the world from the wrath of Mechagodzilla. The movie is hyping him up and he gets a whole musical number to announce his arrival... only for Mechagodzilla to absolutely slaughter him. It's great, genuinely so fun to watch the guy we've been hearing about cower behind a rock until Godzilla shows up to do most of the work. It makes him endearing! Like a big puppy way over his head.

Mechagodzilla is the real show stopper here, the movie does a great job establishing his power by having him beat Anguirus and match Godzilla. This might be the first beam clash in the franchise, with Mecha-G's eye laser and Goji's fire breath meeting in the middle to cause a massive explosion, knocking them both out. That's where this movie shines, the fights are so fucking fun. No stock footage or clunky old suits here, it's all so fresh and dynamic. Mechagodzilla stands out in the Showa roster because his specialty is the full frontal assault of explosive fury. He has missiles and lasers coming out of every orifice and joint. His fighting is so colorful and exciting, especially contrasted with Godzilla's more physical fighting style. Plus what a finisher! Godzilla rips his head clean off, no ambiguous falling into the ocean here, we got to watch a fatality.

Overall a really good movie that encapsulates everything that we love about the Showa era, with one of the best villain kaiju battle in the franchise. It's not quite the top of the list though, not hitting the highs of King Kong vs Godzilla or Godzilla vs Hedorah in my eyes, more matching the vibes of the last movie, so it'll get a similar 7/10 score from me.

[alicia-18]

FRIDAY THE 13TH PART IV REVIEW

SPOILERS AHEAD!

Before anyone says anything, I know. I have skipped another movie. But before you call upon Jason himself to turn me into a shish kebab, let me explain.

I am based in England and watch this franchise on Paramount Plus. For some reason which I can only assume is to annoy the fandom, both movies 1 and 3 aren’t on the platform but 2,4,5,6,7, and 8 are. I’m just as baffled as you but as we are broke bitches out here, I can’t afford to rent it currently. I am actually going to borrow the first movie from my sister-in-law’s girlfriend soon so I will post my review of that too!

But with that out of the way, let’s get into my thoughts and opinions on part 4.

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed the movie! I think I might have even enjoyed it more then the second, though I expected as much as I know the fandom view this one and maybe number 7 (?) in high regards. The characters conversations, although still super corny, we’re a lot more realistic sounding then in part 2. Like the way Ted and Jimbo (I’m assuming his name is Jim but all I have in my head is Ted shouting Jimbo) were talking about girls does feel very reminiscent of typical teenage boys, just obviously very 80s.

And the kills were also a lot more interesting typically. You can tell by this movie that they had more of an idea on how to use Jason and his strength, even if at times he still seemed quite goofy. Just seeing the way he killed Doug by squeezing his face until blood poured and then throwing him through the shower glass for the girl to see was so entertaining, as well as the seen with Jimmy getting the corkscrew through the hand. I even appreciated when Trish sliced through Jason’s hand slightly.

This movie also seems to lean slightly more into the goofiness it has. Like when Rob is being killed and he keeps shouting “he’s killing me!” just had me cackling in bed at the unseriousness at it all. The movie had the ability to create suspense whilst still being laughable - in a great way. I’ve stated before I truly do appreciate the cheesiness of older horror and this movie is the epitome of that.

It isn’t a perfect movie though. I find Trish to be a much weaker final girl in comparison to Ginny. Like how she just watched Rob get murdered, went to run away and then went back like she would have been able to stop death? It made such little sense. She also felt pretty useless overall. Because realistically, Tommy is the star of this show. All she does is find a body and scream “he’s here!” When it’s bloody obvious he is by how the front door has been hacked down. She also left Tommy with little choice but to kill Jason himself when he is literally a small child! He has to try fixing the car, he has to stay by himself at the house whilst there’s a masked killer. All that she did successfully was hit Jason when he grabbed Tommy and then distracting him long enough for Tommy to shave his head.

The way they killed off Mrs Jarvis was also jarring because it’s completely offscreen and you don’t actually get any definitive answer to if she is dead. They could have atleast had her body show up in the third act or something similar to that but no. This goes back to my grievance with the second movie surrounding the ambiguity of Paul. I hate not receiving an actual answer and just makes me think they didn’t know what to do with either of their characters so they’ve left it open ended.

All in all, despite my few negatives, I did genuinely really enjoy this movie! I think it has a lot more rewatch-ability then the second too. I’m hoping the fifth part has a couple answers regarding Mrs Jarvis and I hope Tommy does come back because the ending where he looks straight at the camera is chilling!

I also wrote this a couple of days after watching due to my children being crotch goblins and not giving me a second to myself so this isn’t as in depth as the Part 2 review. I’ll try adding more when I review Part 5!

RANKING SO FAR

1) Part IV : The Final Chapter

2) Part II

[wakkass]

Hey! First off i really love your art, it has so much expression and personality❤️💕

I saw your post critisizing Kataras look in season 3 and how they don’t let her show her weaker and more tired self, and tend to pretty her up compared to the rest to make her “more favourable to aang” I don’t really agree on that point and want to add my own two cents.

-

Both Aang and Katara have seen each other at their best and worst, mentally, physically, emotionally and totally wrecked from exhaustion and have supported each other through it.

Examples at the top of my head for katara:

-in the waterbending master when fighting pakku her hair gets messy and breathing becomea rigid and at no point lets go of her (fierce and justified) anger towards him, aang watches them and cheers for her through it (“Go Katara!”) Also not forgetting how he doesn’t want to be taught by pakku if he won’t teach her.

-in the chase all the gaang are exhausted beyond point and katara snaps multiple times, when trying to confront toph, aang attempts calming her down but she has her “IM COMPLETELY CALM” reaction and aang decides to back away. I see it as him respecting her anger and frustration and understanding she needs space atm.

-the desert all the gaang are not themselves and katara takes over as the leader in that situation, aang is incredibly distraught and furious about losing appa and it’s katara that manages to get everyone back on track, esprcially aang.

- this leads to the serpent’s pass where aang in return regrets his outburst at the sand benders and understand and appreciates kataras effort for what she did back there for all of them, esprcially him in his pure rage.

-the puppet master, katara forcibly learns bloodbending and is distraught over this fact. It’s a very brief moment in the last few seconds but she breaks down and aang and sokka comfort her without any words said and let katara hurt in that moment without any pressure to get it together.

-the southern raiders we see her at her possible worst and aang sees it too. He fully understand her anger and that she needs this journey to heal but doesn’t want her to lose herself by killing the man because it would destroy her to take a life even if he deserved it. Aang empathsizes with her and he is happy she was able to come to her own conclusion despite the pain thr both felt (her going through all these emotions and him seeing her not being herself at that moment before)

-

Phew sorry that was so wordy lol. Apologies^^”

I also think the show lets her be messy and not “perfect” in scenes without aang too (hakoda and her in S3EP1) but i know that wasnt ur og point.

I totally think the show can be critisized with certain designs tho tbf i don’t blame aang personally for blushing at her when she is really pretty, it is his crush and he is a boy in puberty. He loves her at her best looking times and messiest times (whether thats her emotional or physical state) and always shows it through words and other means of affection.

To end this needlessly long ask I agree with some of what u said but i wanted to add my own thoughts because i couldn’t get myself to agree on others. Sorry for any spelling or grammatical mistakes!

I love analytical posts and how they keep the gears in my head moving. Thank you very much for, firstly, reading my posts, it’s very nice. It’s immediately obvious that you also read the hashtags :3

Thank you for the compliments on my drawings, it’s very nice to hear 💖❤️💖

And, secondly, for writing your post and sending it to me, considering the idea from different angles and complementing it.

I want to say right away: no one is obliged to agree with me for the simple reason that each of us has his own interpretation of this series. It's too ambiguous to have only one true reading, and therefore the difference in points of view complements each other. It's IMPORTANT for us to have different opinions and help each other see different sides of interpretation :3

The phrase itself from the series is wonderfully suitable here, I can’t say it better:

It is important to draw wisdom from many different places. If we take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale. Understanding others, the other elements, and the other nations, will help you become whole... It can make you more powerful.

Regarding Katara’s fatigue, I said in hashtags here that it was only shown in two episodes: “The Desert” and “The Southern Raiders.” As you can see, @leanniera gave a few more examples, and I just want to leave them on my wall as part of the theme.

[wizardysseus]

thoughts on nimona movie

i feel like it was better than the comics in some ways and worse than others

i love the animation. the stylization is very cool, visually distinct, and dynamic in a way that felt different from the comics but also captured some of its utter fun (the dance party scene!). monster!nimona was more godzilla than dragon but SO fucking good to look at.

voice acting? so good. and it was fun to hear shadow weaver's voice for like 60 seconds jskdfjgh

goldenloin got such a glow up both in looks and in terms of personality omg. i love him. i did cock my head a little at him no longer having Grown Up In the Orphanage with ballister, but making ballister an outlier as a knight was pretty central to the movie in ways i ultimately think justify the change. more on that in a few bullet points.

meanwhile the character of todd felt wholly unnecessary.

most conflicted about changes to ballister. on the one hand he's so sensitively animated and voice acted, i love him as much as ever. on the other hand he doesn't really feel like THEE ballister blackheart until like the 45 minute mark, when he accepts nimona.

on the other hand i feel like this is just a mechanic of comics->film. he has a more dramatic and cinematic arc now, and it's an arc that rings true in a lot of ways as like. a queer person raised evangelical. lol.

on the other hand, in some ways, making the queer messaging more explicit now feels a little weird to me. in that ballister is literally a gay man, but he is figuratively queerphobic to nimona.

this stood out a lot less to me in the comics where both ballister's gayness and the queer messaging were more subtextual, and i understand why one would want it to be more explicit, and i also think that the fact of him learning and bonding with nimona is a function of him also being an outsider who has to unlearn his brainwashing, so it mostly works? i'm gonna watch the movie again and see what i think. maybe a few more times.

but my favorite thing is still the moments where ballister and nimona just kind of hang out and laugh together about stuff.

speaking of narrative changes! nimona's backstory! kind of love it?? more queer, more resistant to neat labeling, & it does a lot of things i like with shapeshifters; you know that post about the idea that there's no 'true form,' this one, it's that.

i wish nimona's hair had changed more but i suppose that would have been unnecessary work for the animators and less fitting for the shorter timeframe in the world of the movie

the other thing i feel weird about: not to be like, everything about shapeshifters should be more like wolfwalkers, but i was really hoping for an ending more like wolfwalkers where goldenloin and ballister would go over the wall, would leave with nimona. like. when ballister says "the institute is not the problem" i thought it was obvious we were supposed to think he was being hopelessly naive, and the narrative proves nimona right, but then at the end... it's unclear how much of the rebuilding of the city is tied to rebuilding the system of knighthood. which i suppose i prefer to ballister explicitly becoming a knight again, but all the same, if you're going to give us a less ambiguous ending re: nimona and ballister reuniting then they don't have to stay there!!

oh the music was fun

umm i kind of thought the voiceover about the kingdom sticking a sword in nimona's heart was overkill, we had all the information we needed visually to make that connection. but that's very nitpicky, it was otherwise a beautiful moment.