#the end of the show where they separate is the best ideal because it allows them to grow. which is such a good point to bring up

[pochapal]

I shall tempt fate!

Thoughts on the thirteenth doctor?

I didn’t like the era much but 13 is awesome imo ^^

[approximately 1 trillion turrets taking aim] okay SO the thing with 13 is that everyone who watched her and hated her was a needless redditbrained loser who didn't understand a thing. yes she was kind of mid in the end BUT not for a single reason any of her detractors like to espouse.

she was on track for a very good slow burn tragic arc of over-correcting twelve's flaws (he got too attached and this burned him over and over and over again) where in her attempts to protect her companions from the same doomed fate as every previous human to enter the tardis she ends up not showing how she really feels at all until it's too late for it to count because whether or not she's attached or distant all humans die in the end and to travel with the doctor is to in part indulge in a death drive because by nature of being a companion it means eventually you are going to collide face first with tragedy. all the pieces for this are there very much in her first two seasons and this reading even explains why the finales were kind of lacking oomph (her distancing in attachment also extended to Being The Doctor on some level; this could have compounded with all the latent Gender stuff real nicely but didn't) since it was kind of all building to one core tragic break.

this likely would have happened in her third season but then covid kind of destroyed production and obviously every ambition/plan had to be downscaled into flux which was like. fine??? nothing really bad to say about it other than it feels a touch truncated but that was mostly due to pandemic filming restrictions than anything else (and will never be as terrible as the parts of the moffat era which suffered extensively as a result of sherlock existing and taking up the lead writers/producers time and effort). only issue with it was that it shifted tone/direction in a way that kept all of 13's era on this same flat note right at the moment when this naturally should have been shifted up a gear for the third act.

unironically in an ideal world we got a full length third season for thirteen and the one thing that needed to happen was yaz dying. like i liked yaz and everything but girlie needed to die so badly in some episode and for her to die thinking that the doctor never actually cared about her, forcing thirteen to realize becoming disattached doesn't prevent tragedy from happening it just deprives her of love. continuing this ideal scenario the next beat that needed to happen was thirteen absolutely fucking snapping as yaz's death serves as the catalyst for all the other billion emotions she's been pointedly Not Feeling in this incarnation - this in turn would allow us to see shades of the rogue doctor or whatever her name was (renegade doctor? fugitive doctor? exile doctor?) and create an interesting interplay between the two. this'd then lead to an "Oh Fuck I Have Really Fucked Up At Being The Doctor Huh" moment where she starts aggressively Being The Doctor (maybe strongarming dan into being a companion semi against his wishes to fill the void?) and maybe fucking with her own history/reputation or w/e which might've fed into the timeless child mystery thing somehow (don't ask me i'm spitballing on half-remembered information). also identity crisis heartbroken thirteen at the end of her life reaching back into herself and re-using ten's face as a kind of "second chance" at all the parts of herself that ten embodied and she didn't (the absolute love for companions and humanity) where the tension is now whether or not fourteen ignores the literal centuries of history separating himself from the last time he wore this face and that feeding into the new rtd era.

even a small number of these things would have made thirteen probably one of the best doctors in the series in all the metrics that really matter but we didn't get that so we have to contend with what we do have and that was mostly just...okay. thirteen for me is like. she was brimming with potential to go down a certain route i would have eaten up but things never quite fell into place. probably a whole bunch of reasons behind the scenes why thirteen's era fell short of total greatness but i still enjoyed good chunks of thirteen more than certain doctors who i can and will name (doctor eleven they could never make me like you) so she has that going for her at least. also can't be fully mad at the writing because i actually have an unjustified soft spot for chibnall (this is my biases talking but the countrycide episode of torchwood top 1 piece of doctor who media and i'm so mad he didn't lean back into the folk horror aesthetic again for the witch trials episode in thirteen's run) and overall thirteen's era was just. it was consistent. i really wish covid hadn't fucked over the final season so the nascent themes in her arc could've come to a more satisfying fruition because i will always be a forever truther thirteen's era was slow-building up to something really good. the haters will never convince me otherwise.

[thyandrawrites]

oh this is intresting

I wonder what exactly makes him "reliant on enji" 🤔. If the point is for him to figure out his identity separate from his father in a similar way shouto did, then him relying on enji for his character arc would go against that right? I'm also interested in how the scenario you presented with enji dying in the first war would play out. How would it affect the character arcs of the rest of the family?

Ok, I kind of walked into that one, didn't I? Alright, I'm gonna try my best to explain my feelings, tho they're probably going to be more jumbled and less thought-out than my meta (hence why I left that part to the tags, more as an inside-voice). I hope this makes sense.

When I say that Hori wrote Touya's as "reliant on Enji", I mean exactly this, that Hori purposefully wrote Touya's backstory so that Enji would have to play a role in thematically solving all the loose ends. While most of the role of actually saving Touya will fall on Shouto's shoulders, there are plot threads that only Enji can address, because Shouto simply isn't Touya's father and had no role in his birth (which is one of Touya's character hangups that needs addressing). And I think this is by design; Horikoshi wants Enji to be likeable at the end of this, so he's staging things to make Enji get an opportunity to prove himself.

While Shouto can restore Touya's hope and thus push him into an exploration of his identity and boundaries, what Shouto can't do is being accountable for staging Touya's birth as a business transaction. That's a responsibility that falls on Enji's shoulders, one that he has yet to fully acknowledge. Him and Rei both do.

And while I agree that Touya's eventual self-worth shouldn't be based on whether or not his father loves him or approves of him, what I meant is that Hori is using Dabi as a plot device to redeem Enji, instead of centering the writing of Touya's arc around the idea of healing and doing what's best for Touya.

Does that make sense? Idk. It's just the feeling I get. For a couple of arcs now "doing right by Touya" took the backseat and doesn't seem to be the direction Hori's going for.

As for why I said I wish Endvr had died in the war arc... I think Endvr kinda forces the plot to rotate around him, to accommodate for his stagnancy by sacrificing other character's arcs, and it only makes the story worse in the long run.

I could've seen Enji dying in the war arc if Hori wanted to write a story not focused on catering to Enji's pride but instead on the healing of the todofam without him. In that light, though, Dabi's backstory would've needed some reworking. Obviously, if Dabi killed him he couldn't get the closure I was talking about above. But it could've still been a viable path if Hori wrote the todofam plot from the pov of doing justice to the victims for the abuse they suffered. If Dabi had been allowed to kill Enji, then Hori could've framed it as a narrative where abuse isn't excused, where the consequences of society refusing to hold Enji accountable are not swept under the rug, but cause the fall of a corrupt idol and show everyone that this ideal of heroism simply isn't sustainable. It could've been a condamnation of the mentality that protects the status quo over its innocent victims, and it could've given Dabi room to redefine himself as someone who doesn't need Enji's approval to be worth something (if only it was written right).

But that's not something that works with the current set up; it's nothing more than an AU, or a wish of mine that will never see the light of day I guess. Ultimately, Hori's not aiming to write anything poignant about abuse. This is just a feels-good story about how hope and intent can move mountains and pave the way to a better future

[hologramcowboy]

i dunno if this is something you talkabout but which acting class would you recommend for a newbie?

An acting question? 🥰 I adore.

Ok, so time to be bluntly honest, to answer your question effectively I need to know what your goals are for this year. So I can recommend people that match that path.

For example, if you plan on booking your first co-star, that may be overreaching if you have no training experience or credits.

So I am going to assume that, since you wrote newbie, you have zero training. I am going to help hack into finding your target professionals that are in alignment with your goals.

You need to start by knowing yourself, what makes you unique and what the first impression is when you walk into a room. You can begin by doing this on your own to the best of your ability and then allowing others to share their perceptions with you. This could be acting coaches, brand coaches and even regular people who can give you a nonbiased opinion. (I can make a separate post about how to find your type and brand, if you need me too as I will only cover it lightly here)

Once you establish that, have a look at online streamers, movies etc and find characters that match your essence and core look. So let's say you are the girl next door type and you open up netflix and find all these shows where an actress of your same type (same look and similar essence) is featured. Now you know which projects you could potentially get called in for and what the genres are.

I recommend you pull up the iMDb pages of those shows and see who is attached to them, more precisely, the actress of your type, who is she repped by, who cast her, what is her resume, find information on her training online, if available. Now you have an idea about the professionals who cast or rep your type. Let's hone in on the right coach for you.

Based on the genres and types of roles you are ideal for consider what skills you need. Let's say your girl next door type of roles usually come with a comedic vein because that is a strong quality you have. This means improv and comedy classes would help you hone your natural talent. As for acting, research on who the people who match your type have trained with and you can also make your search more particular by finding coaches that have prepared actors for your target shows. For example, if you are the kind of girl next door that is tv series material, you could consider training with Amy Lyndon. She coaches people for television in a very effective way.

Once you've honed in on which coach matches your trajectory (by researching what their training focuses on, what their students booked, how effective their methods are for you, etc), go audit their class to confirm that they are indeed ideal for you. Most coaches allow you to audit for free and may even offer a complimentary session.

Next you train, train, train and while you are at it, I would recommend focusing on landing as many credit based roles as you can - there are acting schools and universities that make short movies and movies you could apply to star in, there are plays of lower levels, you could autoproduce short clips of your performing with the help of your friends. Anything that helps you get credits and showcase your talent. Word of caution: If you are self producing, ensure you get coached by your acting coach on the scene and get feedback on it prior to posting it online!

Note that what you train for will switch as your career evolves but your acting training needs to be constant even when you start booking co star roles, for example. Each tier you reach will require a new you. Self tape classes are a must nowadays so I highly recommend doing an acting class and a self tape one as well. Most auditions have switched to digital and a self tape is a completely different dynamic than an in person audition, you have to learn how to film production quality self tapes. Depending on your desired path you may end up taking commercial classes, improv, scene study, etc.

Again, not knowing any details about you, I cannot hone in on specific matches at the moment but, what I can do, is recommend great coaches you could consider. In no particular order:

Amy Lyndon (absolutely great if you want to book more television)

Ivana Chubbuck (the actor whisperer lol)

Kimberly Jentzen

Scott Sedita (for comedy especially)

Lesly Kahn (another great one for comedy)

Howard Fine

James Ciccone (this guy has a lot of receipts as a steady working actor)

Christine Horn (she mixes in spirituality and that makes her an even more effective coach)

I could go on but my point is that you want to look for the people that can propell your career to your desired level. Jim Carry studied with Ivana Chubbuck and learned to channel his traumas into comedy, she was at a certain of his life the right choice for him to develop his talent. No one road fits everyone, which is why you have to get very specific about what you desire to reach and who the people who can get you there are and, to do this, you have to simultaneously be very realistic about who you are and what you can do (range).

Sorry for this very long post but I got excited. Hopefully, it was written clearly, if not feel free to dm me or send in another ask.

[neon-z]

I really hate everything about Teppei in Higurashi Gou/Sotsu

I usually don’t use tumblr to blog, but I just needed to vent somewhere since Teppei has come up in conversations a lot due to the recent Meguri version of Tatariakashi.

Anyway, like I said, I’m mostly venting, but I really despise everything about his character and role, not only execution, but even on a conceptual level. This abuser who treated Satoko as nothing but an object and generally led a trash life, causing problems, not only to Satoko herself but even to completely unrelated people (like Rena) is now somehow cosmically connected to Satoko. Because they’re “family”? Even though they had no actual family relationship or blood bonds. So, from where does this “family” comes from? Because he is called “Uncle”? Really?

Anyway, this allows him to see his own death in several worlds and makes him change to avoid that. And somehow this instantly turns him into a completely different person, never falling to old habits or being presented in a negative way again. That’s just not how people work. There is a reason many abusive relationships go through cycles of reconciliation and abuse. People just don’t work like that. But he gets to be magically transformed into his ideal self... and then, that ideal self, is the only one who manages to touch Satoko’s heart and make her hesitate even if only for a few moments. While she laughs while making the girl who protected her in spite of her own family go insane and then killing her.

Yet again, I really hate everything about this situation. The group that was around her for years suddenly doesn’t matter at all and their actions are all hollow. Even when interacting in new unexpected ways (like Satoko asking Mion to train her with guns), there’s no emotional connection at all. Even though returning to 83 by itself should produce some reaction in her, even separate from Rika, considering her attitude with the club changing. But there’s nothing. And yet, her original abuser being generically “nice” somehow is this big unforeseen hit that keeps making her crack. It’s such a forced and senseless reversion that just makes me despise the whole scenario, especially when the show tries to be “realistic” in other points. And, actually, that’s one of the main reasons this turn bothers me.

If we are doing this fantasy scenario, where even Teppei gets a good ending he should never have gotten, without any real effort, then that will go for everyone, right? But, nope. We get Rika and Satoko in the end unable to reconcile and going their own ways, with Rika still seemingly wishing to leave Hinamizawa and leave everyone behind due to her loops. In spite of how much she seemed to love it and her friends and just wanted that life to continue in the VN (even dismissing the idea of running away alone from Hinamizawa in order to attempt to escape her death because it’d be pointless if she were away from everything she loves). The evil abuser gets magic basically giving him the best future possible at that point, past character be damned, while Rika has to “face reality” or whatever (even though that’s not even the original world from when the loops started, which is why she’s still just going for her first year of St.Lucia again, rather than being halfway through her 2nd year). Everything about that scenario just makes me sick. It’s something that still bothers me when people talk about Sotsu now. It couldn’t pick a lane, and someone decided that an evil man should be gifted while Rika just needed more suffering. And that’s her resolution, while the series plays a happy song and tries to show everyone smiling. Besides Rika, because it’d obviously feel odd if those smiling St.Lucia scenes which were previously portrayed negatively in the anime were thrown again right in the middle of that hollow happy ending montage.

The recent Meguri chapters, where Teppei’s role was minimized and rushed through, with his actions being unable to touch Satoko’s heart, brought back the conversation about that entire situation with many people lamenting the manga cut Satoko’s heart being affected by him... and, well, reading all that just made me think about that entire scenario that still bothers me to no end. The perfect take would be just ignoring his change completely, but if it was going to be there, since Ryukishi07 has pushed it so much, I’m fine with it being reduced to a footnote. Well, actually, showing him attempting to change, just to have him fall back to his true self would be the best and most satisfying and complete take on the character, although that would also need even more focus than what he had. But unfortunately, no official take on the character pushed that direction.

Of course, it’s still possible Meguri’s ending will annoy me just as much as Sotsu’s, depending on how it turns out regarding Teppei, Rika and its overall tone, in spite of the promise of a new final arc and ending.

[eahcomforttrash]

putting @andromedavwrites comments here becuase I think they're interesting and i wanna engage with them (I hope u dont mind the random tag HSHS)

I agree that with how it is in the show right now, it does work! The reason why I think the two specials should be swapped are because of how I think it could better Raven and Apple's stories in tandem. (putting a caveat here that ideally stuff will be reworked for what I'm aiming for to work)

I'm gonna write my thought process down of how I think their characters will work in each special, grouped by character!

this is a bit long so...

Raven:

Raven in Way too Wonderland is the character that really got me locked into the show, especially the last episode of the special. I think by shuffling the special arrangement however her growth can be more than 'pls stop asking me to be a evil i'm begging'

Anyways, in my ideal arrangement, this is how her arc will work out:

Dragon Games:

Raven hasn't mastered her powers just yet, though the events of Spring Unsprung does inspire her to take her magical mastery more seriously. I think with this kind of set-up, it allows her to be more drawn towards Mira, someone who seems to know a lot about magic, and a little mom-daughter bonding-manipulating ensues.

By the end of Dragon Games she uses everything her mom taught her against her, and manages to break her mom's curse. I think it's a more satisfying growth to power moment (and of course, we need to put in little moments of uncertainty re: if growing her powers is even the right choice, though the conclusion by the end is hopefully 'no magic is inherently evil' etc)

Way too Wonderland:

After the events of Dragon Games, Raven is a little more careful with magic, however Apple's research re: wonderland offers her an opportunity to finally prove that she is in fact, not her mother. What better way to separate yourself from your evil mom than to destroy the final curse she's left behind? (honestly at this point the only person she's trying to prove this to is herself, poor kid). After all, 'hey, i beat my mom, surely I can undo her spell on wonderland right?' WRONG, into wonderland you go!

Things play out much like Way Too Wonderland, but she often hesitates with her magic, but is encouraged by her friends along the way. In the climax, however, the book manages to get the best of her and the entire Courtly Jester fight sequence plays out. The scene where Apple tells her "this isn't you" during her fall to evil makes a lot more sense now that Apple has a point of reference: Apple has encountered the Evil Queen, and she can for sure say that she truly is NOT the Evil Queen. There's more power in those lines when you write it that way I think.

Anyhow, they finally find the Storybook of Legends, but Briar chooses to show it to Apple only (not to Raven just yet). I'll talk more about Apple's choice later, but Apple ends up asking Raven herself to destroy the book. For now, this is where Raven's story as a rebel ends, and the future she's sought for this entire series begins.

Apple:

Oh Apple, my favorite blorbo, she compels me so much. I think the point that she regresses is a good point, but I'd argue that she's already had a little too many regressions at that point? (Thronecoming comes to mind) I'll forever be an Apple apologist but I can see why people got a little annoyed at her by the end. This is what I think her arc would look like:

Dragon Games:

I think here, Apple's regression makes more sense because she hasn't gone through the events of Way to Wonderland just yet, but she will very still feel the pressure despite her character growth in the Thronecoming and Spring Unsprung. It also makes her desperation make a lot more sense because the Story Book of Legends is still missing, and that aura of uncertainty and insecurity makes her actions a lot more understandable.

By the end of Dragon Games she comes to three very important realizations:

Her encounter with the Evil Queen makes her realize that no, she doesn't want to see Raven turn evil actually. Yes the Queens look a lot a like and share a few habits here and there, but the events of the games solidifies in her head that Raven IS RIGHT.

Her story is done, and it's not what she expected it to be, and now she has to grapple with the uncertainty if it actually is done because they can't double check in the storybook of legends (spoilers, if I'd make a writing choice, I'd say her story is well and done.) Perhaps the scarier thought is that her story truly is over, and now she has no idea what to do next.

She's gay?????

It's important to me that she goes through all of this because it lands us directly to her ????? era in-

Way too Wonderland:

Hey Apple, ur story's over, and ur prolly gay! U also caused the school massive damages, and you still kinda betrayed so many of ur classmates. Might be a good time to do some community service no? Or maybe a big project. Oh look the wonderlandians-

It's such a shame the series never touched on Apple's character post Dragon Games because good lord i feel like there'd be a lot of rewiring of braincells post games. I think the push to do research on the Wonderlandian Curse is both coming from a desire to atone for her actions in DGs and also a coping mechanism so she doesn't think too hard about her future. She's still unsure if her story is done: is she meant to just graduate and wait for her turn to rule, or is she supposed to go through a do over? Does she even want a do-over? (spoiler, she doesnt lol). Way Too Wonderland goes on as usual, and I imagine this as a good time for Apple to explore who she is outside of her fairytale. The special becomes an opportunity for further character growth.

By the end, Raven's battle and Apple's speech rings much much more true. When Briar shows her the Storybook of legends after breaking the wonderlandian curse, she asks herself what she wants, and if knowing will change that. She ends up confirming her fairytale is over, but also sees there is so much of her tale to be written. That's enough for her to ask raven to free them all of their destinies.

Bonus Section:

Darling:

LOL I'm a Darling fan, of course I'm biased towards her.

Anyways, Darling suffers a lot from the little thing called censorship, and so it would be really unfair to complain about the lack of build up from her (she kissed Apple a year after gay marriage was legalized, she's so real). Anyways-

Dragon Games: I think at this point I'd like for her identity as a white knight to be not the center focus. I'd like for her reveal as a prince to be more of a surprise? so people no knowing she was the white knight for a while now makes the events much more tense (also good opportunity for character building.

Way Too Wonderland: She's the prince of legend! But wait, all she knows is how to be a knight, she didn't know she had to be a prince. Does she even want to be one? I'd like for her to revert back to hiding into the White Knight persona for Wonderland as to not face the questions she needs to answer for herself head on. Idk I have moer thoughts but maybe so other time.

tl;dr i jsut think itd be cool. sorry that was a lot!

big narrative changes that would have benefitted EAH

Dragon Games should come first before Way to Wonderland. THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT CHANGE THAT BENEFITS EVERYONE'S CHARACTER ARCS BECAUSE APPLE CHOOSING TO LET THE STORYBOOK GO IS THE PERFECT BOW ON THE TOP FOR HER ARC.

Giles doesn't fully push his role as a 'foil' to Milton as much as he could have. It would be really nice if he was a little more unhinged actually.

Because of censorship this wasnt possible, but I'd like darling to be more established as early as true hearts day.

more to be added (i really should just write a fic)

[lavyahairdesign]

Full Head of Foils Blonde

A major part of many hair colour services, foils have been used to lighten, lift and add highlights for decades. The versatility and creativity they offer is endless.

Foiling is the process of using sheets of aluminium foil to separate and isolate strands of your hair so that they can be processed separately from each other. This is done so that there is no overlapping of the bleach or high-lift color, which can result in a patchy or dull appearance. It also allows your stylist to create a more even distribution of the product and achieve an overall lighter appearance.

Whether you’re looking for a silver ombre effect, subtle white blonde highlights or a rich caramel shade, full head of foils blonde will give your hair that sun kissed look you’ve been dreaming of. The best part is that a foiling service can be completely customized to your unique hair type, colour needs, and desired look.

Foils are a great option for those who want to go from brunette to blonde, as it will provide an instant and dramatic change in colour. If you’re wanting to go a little lighter and just want some added dimension, a partial foil is another great option. Partial foils focus on highlighting just the top layer of your hair, which is ideal for those who have layers cut into their hair or prefer a more natural and blended look.

There are many ways to apply highlights, from a traditional “full foil” to balayage or babylights. Choosing a stylist who has experience and knows your preferred style will help you find the perfect technique for you!

For example, a layered cut with long fringes would benefit from having a diagonal placement of foils near the face, as this will frame the face for a soft and natural look. If you have a shorter pixie haircut, you can get away with having your foils placed horizontally along the crown of your head. This will help to keep the regrowth from showing as much and looks just as good, if not better than when it is applied vertically near your face.

When it comes to lowlights, a lot of clients shy away from asking for them because they fear the Kelly Clarkson early 2000 look, but there are so many ways that lowlights can be done to look beautiful and modern! I like to use a warm, neutral or ash lowlight and never pull them all the way to the ends to avoid brassiness.

If you’re a client who is a little nervous about going blonde, ask for a consultation with your stylist and have some reference photos of the blonde that you want. Skilled stylists can reverse-engineer these images to determine the formula and process needed to create your dream blonde.

The most important thing to remember is that foiling is a more intense service than balayage, so you’ll be in the salon chair for a longer period of time. Be sure to come prepared with some snacks, a magazine, or an audiobook to make the service go by faster!

Lavya Hair Design are your first choice for a Hairdresser in Toowoomba for modern hair cuts, crisp clean hair colours and naturally nourished hair.

Visit our brand new salon in Toowoomba Plaza near Kmart, where you can relax in style and be pampered whilst enjoying our affordable hair package deals.

[cricut-install-setup]

Discover 7 Best Cricut Software to Get Pro-level DIY Projects

The Cricut cutting machine is used widely by DIY enthusiasts. No matter whether you are a fashion designer or a crafter, you can use the Cricut machine and let your design enter the real world. However, using a Cricut cutting machine is not enough; you also need Cricut software where you can create your designs. This software allows you to cut out any kind of shape and font. Using this, you create stunning projects on different devices, like desktop computers, tablets, laptops, and smartphones.

Sometimes, the digital die-cutting unit won’t allow you to cut multiple fonts. As a result, you need to buy a separation, which is far more expensive and redundant to invest in. Hence, I will suggest you use similar tools. For this, you need to read the guide till the end.

In this blog, you will find the most widely used Cricut app alternatives that will provide you with the platform to show your creativity.

1.  Cricut Design Space

Design Space is a software platform provided by the Cricut brand itself to create layout art and text, which can be further cut on Cricut machines. This Cricut software is completely free and comes with your Cricut device.

The tool is powerful and easy to use, which lets you complete numerous projects from scratch. Since the software was developed for the Cricut machine, you won’t find some features anywhere else.

Moreover, the software works well with desktop and mobile devices. So, grab your phone and PC and start diving into your design. In addition, it includes a lot of free templates, designs, and fonts for popular items such as cards and invitations.

2.  Adobe Photoshop

Photoshop is an excellent tool for creating graphics and editing your photos. Mostly, it is used by graphics designers and professional people, including hobbyists.

Here, you can work on photographs to retouch and manipulate them as per your wish. Not only that, but it is quite good at making all types of vector art, making it a crucial tool in your Cricut list.

Since Photoshop provides a variety of tools, you can create several designs that you can imagine. Even though it is not affordable software, it can do a lot if you use it. Plus, this can be an irreplaceable alternative to Cricut software.

3.  Adobe Illustrator

Adobe Illustrator is one of the best Cricut software for professionals and artists who use Cricut. On Illustrator, you can create various shapes, symbols, and texts with captivating font styles.

You will not get stuck in between while working on it, as you will be able to find the solutions through the online tutorials. It’s all because of its popularity among arts enthusiasts.

Go for this software if you are ready to pay to get all the features you need.

4.  Canva

This is the popular free tool that you can use as a Cricut software. The tool has a pleasing interface with all the features to make your design look gorgeous. However, the platform is especially good for lettering and stickers.

Additionally, Canva gives a wide range of options for font styles that you can use for free. For stickers, you can use pre-made templates that are downloadable, making it easy for anyone to design without having prior experience.

If you are okay with a premium subscription, then go for the Canva brand kit, where you can access an extensive library that includes millions of stock photos, videos, audio, and graphics. It offers all the tools to create the premier design that you can think of.

5.  CorelDRAW

It is a multitasking Cricut software and is ideal for creating vector graphics. By using this app, you can make signs, logos, 3D models, animations, and other internet graphics on your computer.

Many professional photo artists use this platform to work on their new ideas to align with the latest trends.

It also gives you the option to customize your existing designs. Also, you can work on predesigned templates that include floral and geometric types of patterns.

Corel offers a free trial. Hence, you can try its free trial before you make a purchase.

6.  Inkscape

This is completely free Cricut software as it is an open-source vector graphics editor. You can give it a try because it is capable of working with raster and vector images.

If you want vinyl material and paper to be cut, then this software can help you in numerous ways to create your designs by using paths and shapes.

The most advanced feature of Inkscape is its ability to export SVG files, which are known as the universal file type that lets you move between different design programs without any problems. This feature makes it an excellent Cricut software for your Cricut projects.

7.  Affinity Designer

The tool is a perfect choice for those who want to work in detail. For example, if you want to edit every pixel of your designs, then you must go for it. It is capable of zooming up to 1,000,000%, which is great for working on each pixel to make your design look better.

The Affinity designer comes with amazing features, such as a powerful color tool to select colors from any photos and many more.

Similarly, you will be amazed by its clean and straightforward interface. It is quite similar to Inkscape or Sketchup. It is my advice that you consider the best Cricut software to use in 2023.

FAQs

Can I use Canva for my Cricut projects?

Yes, Canva is a free tool that provides a range of features to edit your designs, images, and texts. It is also comparable with Cricut. To use this software, you must create your Canva account, and once done, you can start your creativity. Plus, you can use its subscription version to access extensive libraries.

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Do I need a computer to use Cricut?

No, you can use a Cricut machine without a computer as well. For this, you need a smartphone, and you can do your design to some extent. Using a smartphone has its disadvantages, such as you will not get all the features that you might be getting on your computers. Therefore, it is always good to use a computer if you want to design something better.

[stepphase]

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[kitsu-katsu]

If I see one more person say that c!Wilbur “went mad”, “threw a tantrum” or “was unfairly angry” after the election results I will snap: A look back at the L’manburg elections and the Soot-Innit exile order

Alright so, let’s go back a bit. The war for independence. Tommy loses the duel meant to grant them their freedom, and so decides to sacrifice his most precious items for this idea of a nation, this blooming project. Once granted liberty, Wilbur starts writing the Decree of Independence and declares himself president of the nation.

This is the first move that people point to when describing Wilbur as tyrannical to his core, but the move isn’t one of a tyrant dictator, really. The nation was newly formed, it was Wilbur’s idea from the beginning, and he was the lead general in the war for independence, thus, it only makes sense that he’d be the leader, especially when the newly formed nation wasn’t even ready to hold proper democratic elections. If you have a nation just coming out of war and which citizens have little organization, you wouldn’t go calling for elections anyway. Furthermore, Wilbur said “I’m the president” and wrote it, but it might as well have been almost democratic if nobody expressed opposition. This would be a very different story if somebody had said “No! I don’t want this! This other person should be president!”, but nobody did, they all agreed with the idea and then followed Wilbur out of their own volition. I remind you that anybody would be free to go out of L’manburg if they so desired, or challenged Wilbur, whose greatest power is really just his prose and eloquence, but they didn’t.

So: Wilbur’s the president. He’s distant, he’s depressed, he cries into his pillow at night, his self-worth issues start to blossom as he further ties himself and his value as a human being to what he can provide for his people and how safe he can keep them, not thinking of himself as doing a particularly good job.

“I mean, look, Tubbo, I’ll be the first one to say I didn’t always treat you the best on L’Manberg. And I know I didn’t! I was somewhat of a distant ruler, I pretty much only really- … Look, I wasn’t the best ruler, I know I wasn’t. I think I was a good ruler, but I-” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 1:21:50, 23rd Sep)

–

“I just- I- I just remember I was in power, and I would- when I wasn’t on a stage I would cry a lot, and- and scream into my pillow until I felt better. That’s what I- but I don’t remember why I would do that” - (Tubbo’s THE GREAT REBUILDING: 2:14:18, 17th Nov)

At this point, L’manburg starts having some inner conflict, some civil wars, and Wilbur perceives that he basically holds no power over the people, because they can just ignore what he says and keep on the chaos. Thus, he gets the idea that for his power to be legitimate and for his people to respect it and listen to what he has to say, he should hold an election, with the catch of it being a show election since POG 2020 would’ve been the only available party.

Now, Quackity arrives, the beans are spilled, and now he wants to participate with his own party in the L’manburg elections. Now, as a leader of the nation which was quite vulnerable to attacks from outsiders, Wilbur could’ve just prohibited Quackity from participating at all, which would be a more damning move to the fandom, but also a pretty logistically sound move, only letting insider parties run would’ve made sense, but in the end, Quackity asked and so was allowed to participate, even as he showed a fundamental misunderstanding of the nation and what it went through at the hands of Dream and company and as Wilbur stated that he would make the nation unsafe with his ideals. (I could go into further analysis of the Wilbur-Quackity conversation from the stream “Killing my enemies”, but I’ll probably just address it in further detail in a separate post where I’m more focused on their characters, in the meantime, I got a bit into part of it as well as how Wilbur sees the possession of power and the concept of honour in this post).

“What has made you do everything you’ve done up to this point?” (Quackity)

“That’s a- That’s a big question. Um. I guess it’s just protection for my people. I mean, I- I- I just want to see them thrive, and I want to see them safe.” (Alivebur)

- (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:03:02, 12th Apr)

–

“Your aspirations of optimism are not going to be subject to my nation’s security I’m afraid. I- I completely disagree with everything you’ve said.” - (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:05:18, 12th Apr)

–

“They’re gonna tear down the walls… … Tommy. They say they’re gonna tear down the walls. They’re gonna open it up to Americans. Our safe space! Our safe space. Remember, remember when we made the park? That was fun. Remember the Camarvan? Remember all the history we’ve had here? They’re gonna tear it down.” - (Wilbur’s Election Night: 1:18:17, 20th Sep)

–

“Our safe space. Our safe space.” - (Wilbur’s Election Night: 1:18:27, 20th Sep)

The days pass, Coconut 2020 forms, which is an insider group, and is freely let to participate as well as SWAG 2020. Eventually, Schlatt arrives as an endorsement for POG 2020, where, having the ballots already closed, he reveals he wants to participate as well with his own party extremely last minute. Now, not only would an actual tyrant not let any of this happen, but any kind of leader of a nation would be in their complete right to refuse, as it’s an outsider, the debating period has come and gone, and the ballots have closed. They would have ample ground to stand on to refuse Schlatt participating at all, but Wilbur still allows it. At this point, pointing at how Wilbur originally planned to stage a show election with one party to claim that he’s “evil” and “power hungry” is not only incorrect, but also completely irrelevant, as we’ve gone so further from that original idea that he’s letting his sponsor guy participate even with the ballots long closed and the elections having practically already started (again, they were literally showing their endorsements. Come on).

The elections come and go. Coconut 2020 attempts voter fraud and doesn’t get anywhere (note how the one who’s always called “undemocratic” is Wilbur, when other characters are completely willing to do stuff like this while he allows endorsement man to enter the pool of possibilities even if extremeley late to the whole thing). Wilbur attempted a coalition deal with Quackity to have a greater chance against Schlatt in which he’d probably win himself, so Quackity backs down, but thus leaves the precedent of coalitions being legal in L’manburg elections. Quackity forms a coalition with Schlatt of which the voters don’t find out until after voting.

The votes say that POG 2020 wins by majority, but pulling the coalition's votes together, Schlatt-SWAG win by only 1%. Now, before moving forward, I want you to realize how insane that is. The single party of POG 2020 had such a large magnitude of votes that the pulling of votes from two separate parties only overtook them by a mere 1%. If Wilbur called for a second election period in which the voters would pick between POG 2020 and the Schlatt-SWAG coalition, it would only make sense, seeing as the coalitions wasn’t something everyone knew about and they only managed a 1% difference, a way too small one. In any case, Wilbur accepts his loss and gives the country to the coalition, which establishes Schlatt as the new president (A further thing to be called undemocratic, as of the two pooling parties, SWAG 2020 got the most votes, meaning that they only won to POG 2020 by 1%, and most of their overall percentage voted for president Quackity).

I want you to see Wilbur’s actual quote immediately before and after saying he’s lost, because people plainly don’t watch this arc and then say that he was undemocratic and didn’t want to give up the presidency unless forced to, which is quite plainly a lie and makes even less sense paired up with the context of how permissive he was beforehand:

“What happens if we lose the nation, Wilbur?” (Tommy)

“Well, then whoever wins takes over, w- what do you mean?” (Alivebur)

- (Tommy’s vod jschlatt gets unbanned from the Dream SMP: 1:45:50, 20th Sep)

–

“Tommy, we’re citizens tonight. Just listen to Schlatt.” (Wilbur’s vid How Schlatt stole the Election of the Dream SMP: 7:58)

He directly declares that they are citizens now, and thus should listen to the new president, who then proceeds to immediately declare the founders of the goddamn nation, the ex-leaders of it, the ones who gave away their power peacefully even when they could’ve reasonably raised concerns about so many things wrong with Schlatt getting to this point, as exiled. Not only that, but he immediately chases them out by demanding people shoot them, which actually makes Wilbur lose a canon life. I cannot explain to you how absurd it is to be mad at the guy who was so permissive and who gave up his power peacefully and always took on what he himself made legal and call him “undemocratic”, when you have Schlatt, who got into the elections way too late anyway, won via a coalition that at least most voters wouldn’t be aware of, became president by taking advantage of the votes for a different party to rule and then his first move in power is to exile and assassinate his political rivals. I cannot fathom the amount of mental gymnastics you’d have to do, really.

“I called for this democratic process, and now he’s ousted me from my government. This- I’m fucking speechless, I’m speechless.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 26:12, 22nd Sep)

–

“We gave up literally everything for L’Manberg. We gave up friendships, we gave up alliances with some of the most powerful people on this server. And now we’ve just- And everything we earnt in that sacrifice has been lost in one moment. Everything we earnt has been lost.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 31:33, 22nd Sep)

Then, Schlatt gets people to burn the flag and tear down the walls (The walls which directly correlate to and represent Wilbur’s ultimate goal of keeping his people safe)

“What has made you do everything you’ve done up to this point?” (Quackity)

“That’s a- That’s a big question. Um. I guess it’s just protection for my people. I mean, I- I- I just want to see them thrive, and I want to see them safe.” (Alivebur)

- (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:03:02, 12th Apr)

–

“This isn’t- This isn’t- I’m not gonna be able to do anything to stop them tearing down the walls. I just need to have one- I’m doing this for principle, I’m doing this for tradition. I need to just have one last look, TommyInnit. I need to look at it one more time before it’s gone.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 38:18, 22nd Sep)

–

“No, I need to- I need to watch this, I need to- This was- This is a huge part of my- I need to, I need to- It would be- It’s like not turning up to a funeral.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 39:21, 22nd Sep)

–

“My son… My son is tearing down the walls, in front of me! My son is tearing down the walls in front of me! The walls I built to keep him safe! I promised him this world, Tommy, I promised him this world.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 39:41 22nd Sep)

–

“L'Manberg, my unfinished symphony! My great unfinished symphony… is being torn down in front of my eyes.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 40:04, 22nd Sep)

And Wilbur, as he grows understandably bitter at the fact that his country, which he tied so tightly to himself and through which he expressed his ideals and desire for safety got taken over and twisted, the walls taken down, the expansion of territory which he knew would likely result in further wars with the greater Dream SMP, which would in turn only harm the people further, his own family and friends actively going against his every wish only to survive under Schlatt (which he understands, but also starts to distrust further down the line, becoming more convinced that the people will simply just follow the one with most power, and with him being powerless and unable to provide anything of value, he’s virtually worthless, as he sees that people seem happy under Schlatt’s rule for a while) and he himself and his right hand man being exiled, chased out, and in his case killed, starts questioning whether wanting to overthrow Schlatt is a morally damning thing, whether they’re the bad guys for wanting L’manburg back at all instead of letting the “democratic” (which it wasn’t really for all the reasons listed above) process be. He starts tearing himself up not because he “lost his mind” as the fandom so awfully likes to put it, but because he’s unsure he has any moral ground to stand on as well being influenced further by his old war trauma, his self-worth issues which have been present for a while at this point, and his eventual paranoia caused by perceiving life under Schlatt to be pretty good actually, while he further sees himself as worthless and his goals as inherently immoral and unjustified, even if that isn’t logically the case:

“Tommy, I’ve got a question for you, right. Because this festival, this is a good idea, this doesn’t seem like a bad like, this doesn’t seem evil. You know? This seems like a nice friendly thing Schlatt’s doing. Tommy, are we the bad guys?” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:08:14, 8th Oct)

–

“‘Cause, I mean, we were the, we just kinda made ourselves the leaders, and then, and now we had a vote, and he won, in a coalition government, which was completely legal, and now we’re trying to overthrow him. It feels like we’re the bad guys, Tommy. This doesn’t feel correct.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:08:34, 8th Oct)

–

“Look, do you know how long and how much blood was shed to get L’Manberg to the point it was at? You know what would happen if we manage to get L’Manberg back again? More blood would be shed, and we would be the illegitimate rulers of a nation.” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 18:52)

–

“Tommy, am I, am I a bad, am I a villain of this story. Am I the villain in your history?” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:08:59, 8th Oct)

–

“Tommy, we allowed the coalition. On the day, they said they were gonna make a coalition, and our cockiness, our arrogance got in ahead of us, and we allowed it. We said ‘yes coalition governments are allowed’.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:09:35, 8th Oct)

TLDR: When I say that Wilbur cares a LOT, just in general, I mean it, because he cares about his people first and foremost, then his ideals which tie in with his nation, and that involves caring about the democratic process being carried out right and following through with the consequences of his actions (mainly here, him recognizing that they lost because he himself made coalitions legal in the hopes of getting an advantage). He’s not “undemocratic”, he’s more than justified to have felt a lot angrier than he did and to have put more barriers in the entry of the electoral process, and he certainly didn’t “lose his mind”, “become insane”, whatever else of the sort you’d like to say, nor “threw a tantrum”, nor even became immediately outraged at the fact that he was chased out and killed while running away from the country that he himself created by a leader that the people didn’t even really vote for.

[luimagines]

Hey, I’m not sure how to explain this but getting straight to the point, I’m the person who runs the yandere-linked-universe blog and I’m pretty sure you’re pinkittwice.

So, I was just wondering what ideas you might have about the chain being yandere for one person. Like, what would the dynamic be and how they would behave as yanderes, you know that kind of stuff.

I hope it’s not too much to ask but I’m just curious to see what you might think of it since you’re pretty much the only person on the sight that I know of who also writes things involving lu and the reader. I’m not unhappy or dissatisfied in any way but it does get a little lonely being the only person who writes stuff like this. Sorry if this is too weird.

Masterlist

Yahaha~! You found me!

Everybody go check out their stuff @yandere-linked-universe

They do cool art sometimes and are even writing a whole fic which you can find right here.

It's really well written and I'm excited to see how the story progresses and where it goes- especially endgame.

And I'm assuming the ask means if they were yandere in the same circumstance than in the story.

That being said, I'm still going to apply the rules I have set for the Links. Like how Sky was never with his Zelda and similarly how Time and Malon never really happened. As for Wind, he will not be platonic unlike in the fic mentioned above- I will explain this in his section I promise.

Also, disclaimer, I'm not good at horror and I've never written for these types of characters before. But if you want headcanons then I'll provide the brainstorm that I've been cooking up of ever since I got this ask. (And it was a while ago I'm sorry for the wait.)

I'm also including some songs that I think best fit their rose tinted glasses ideal. Not necessarily yandere and can apply to Link being in love with you in general but it's as close as I'm going to get to making a playlist.

I might come back and change them to stalker songs and add these songs to a separate list entirely but maybe not...

Content under the cut!

It's long, brace yourself.

As a group, I think jealously would run high.

Everybody wants the attention of a single person and there's eight other people as competition.

If the group was tight knit as we like to portray them, it won't last long.

If dear reader was a little caring or naturally falls into a healer/medic position in the group, the group becomes more reckless, less caring about their personal safety- if only to get a momentary caress from the love of their life's fingers as their wounds are tended to.

There's less group unity and alliances between them form.

If the reader isn't a fighter well...

They would take turns guarding their prize and fight to be the one to do it.

Leaving you behind when they go to dungeons is a must.

They won't risk you getting a scratch on your person let alone putting you in a potentially dangerous situation.

They try to keep all their weapons away and out of reach. Less you get any ideas and try to fight with them or worse, get hurt playing with them.

Or try to fight against them. HAHAHAHA!! How crazy would that be?

Like you would stand a chance.

When you're simply traveling with the group, your designated spot is on top of Epona, hands down, no questions asked.

Not only would be easier to keep an eye on you, and make it harder to get away, but Twilight has personally asked Epona (through Wolfie) that if they were ever ambushed, she was to take off with you and get away from the fight no matter the cost. She'll always come back to him anyway- so if you're tied to connected to her than all the more reason for him to be the one to retrieve you when it's all over.

The others don't like how Twilight gets to be the one to greet you first. But Epona is on Twilight's side and everyone knows it.

So they wait their turn.

You're on top of Epona even if you're a fighter as well.

If you can prove your salt and fight with them, they actually don't try to keep you away as much as they can (because now it means that they can spend more time with you!)

It instead becomes a competition to be your partner. Among the younger ones anyway.

The older ones, are less concerned now by you fighting, and more by the younger ones who keep trying to be by your side (even if that's their spot) and try to keep them out of your way.

Every bump and cut you get is treated immediately by who ever reaches you first.

It's once again a race.

The group, as yandere's go, do not know how annoying they're being nor do they plan to stop.

If you told stories of your past conquests, it a mixed bag of awe, adoration and anger for you even being put there to begin with. These thoughts are not voiced however, and they instead stew and simmer and grow into their possessive tendencies.

Because they would protect you, honor you, worship you and you wouldn't have to worry about anything ever again. Not if you were with them, not if you stayed with them, not if you were in their Hyrule.

There's a slight knee jerk reaction when you bring out your items to take it away because it's dangerous. But not only would that piss you off, it would take away what little protection you have on your person and they don't want to take any risks when it comes to your safety.

I wouldn't share too much if I were you.

Now as Individuals they're all different, obviously.

Let's explore that.

Time

He's the most dangerous

I'm starting this off with that

I'm talking the most calculating, scheming and devious of the whole group

He know he's in charge and that the others will listen to him regardless if they actually agree with him or not

Because he's the leader

His grip on the group lessens as time goes by and their unity dissipates

But he's delusional and he doesn't realize it

However, because he's already in this position, he takes it upon himself to take care of you

And others let him

Less work for them to focus on when they can be by your side instead

You never have watch

You're always in the middle of the group

He'd gladly send the boys ahead of you into danger to make sure that they deal with it before you even get there.

The others let him with little thought because it's for you

So they go for it

Time however, is somehow, never the one to go ahead, instead waiting behind (with you) while they go ahead and deal with the issue

He gets away with this 8/10 times

Mostly because he rotates who's he's sacrificing

Dad! Time is not here- not anymore

But he lets them near you because he's only biding his time

You're meant to be

Soulmates, if you will

If a little time with you is all those boys need to stay in line and listen to him then he'll allow it

Because they're only boys

He's a man through and through

They have nothing on him

And you deserve more than a mere boy

He has some other concerns on his mind while the boys fight each other like street dogs

Time has to think about your future together so he daydreams the most out of the group.

He doesn't really have a home and a roof over his head for himself- let alone you and he knows he'd have to change that

He thinks about staying as a permanent employee at Lon Lon Ranch

He can save enough money

Buy a house

Maybe some land

And enough things for you and him to make a comfortable life without any worries

Maybe even start a family?

The dream is a reprieve form the headache that are other boys who won't leave you alone

Pray you don't end up in his Hyrule

EVER

This is just the gateway he'd be waiting for to keep you all to himself

Fighter or not it's dangerous to travel with them

You're in danger

And he won't stand for that.

He doesn't know how exactly he'd do it

But he plans to leave you at Lon Lon Ranch, waiting for him, for when he comes back after the mission

He'd have to find some kind of way to actually keep you there and find you when you inevitably try to leave the Ranch

But he's traveled all over his Hyrule

There's no place you could go that he doesn't know about

As the adult of the group, he'd step over all the others

He's not going to listen to them when they try to stop him

They don't know as much as he does

They haven't experienced as much as he has

He knows that this is the best and only option to ensure that you're safe and well taken care of

He'd doesn't mind leaving you as prisoner to the Gerudo instead either if the others start to really get pushy

It won't be comfortable and it won't be glamorous

But they'll definitely keep you in one place

And he can walk in whenever he wanted thanks to that note from the chief from a time long ago

Pick you up, take you away and you'll be his

He daydreams a lot

And he knows that you'll choose him

You have to

He's the best and only option

He's never felt happier thinking about you and the life you'll both have

He's struggled so much anyway

Maybe you were the blessing the goddesses owed him for all his work in his youth

And surely they aren't so cruel to give you to him and then take you away by some monster attack or some terrible unforeseen fate

He can't have that either

So he'll take the first and best out he's given

But while you're here with him...

He's looking at you like you're magic

Warrior

Warrior is the least dangerous

He knows the feel of being on the receiving side of someone's obsession

He was ignorant for a long time about it

But he wasn't sure how to feel comfortable in his own skin again when he found out about it

He can see how the others are starting to show similar obsessive tendencies and tries to mitigate what he can

He does a lot of damage control

It's what he's trying to do anyway- he's not very successful

Warrior is the one who's challenging their train of thought

Why do they think this is ok? Why don't they ask you for your opinion? Why do they not give some time alone to recharge? Why don't they lay off?

Because it's totally for your benefit- AND THEIRS

Because it's not ok

He doesn't see himself follow the exactly same train of thought

He doesn't see himself doing what they're doing

He's just annoyed that they're the ones doing it

Warrior becomes the very definition of hypocrite.

However- because he's the one acting as your advocate- the others don't consider him as much as a threat and therefore more inclined to listen to him at this point in time than Time himself

It also means that they don't fight him as much when he wants time with you. Mostly because in their eyes, he's not interested

They're wrong

At some point in Warrior's attempt to keep the group together and keep you from going crazy or hating all of them, he begins to gain ulterior motives in his mission

He begins to play the role in an attempt to win you over.

Because- see, he's not like them

He won't violate your space

Go through your stuff

Or keep you from doing what you love

He's the one to say you should join them in fights, that you should stay, that you can hold your own

Since he's the main strategist in the group, he takes into account your skills and always places you at a distance from the fight or from the most obsessive the group.

He knows that their one track mind could kill you or them and there's still the darkness to defeat.

They don't have the luxury to afford this kind of distractions

When the others aren't paying attention to him, he'd pepper you with compliments and flirty lines, playing up his charm and suave attitude

He becomes the perfect gentleman

You'd never know that he's crazy

Just join him and be with him- that's all he wants

He loves you so what more is there to offer you?

He's got the status, the looks and the means to take care of you so you wouldn't have to worry about anything else

He'd be the best husband that Hyrule has ever seen

He'd hate to have the group scare you off with how over the top they've all been.

He knows the group is being annoying with being by your side all the time and how they don't let you be and how there's always someone by your side even when you're at your final straw

Warrior is the one who takes over guarding you when you need to pee or bath and actively argues on your behalf to let you take care of your hygiene.

He's not always successful but it's the thought that counts right?

Hyrule agrees with him most of the time and since Hyrule seems to be the only one who still cares (somewhat) about the mission, they make an agreement

Warrior isn't at all concerned about the others and know that you'd come around to him eventually.

Since he's not like the others

You're his first thought in the morning, his last thought when he rests his head to sleep and there's nothing that he hasn't been doing that wasn't for you

Hyrule

Hyrule is the least possessive

Mostly because of his low confidence.

I've mentioned in a previous post that is unrelated to this, his love language is physical touch- so he's all over you

There always have to be some way that he's holding you- whether its a hand on your shoulder or the small of your back, maybe he's holding your hand or maybe he's just pinched the edge of your tunic

But he's careful to not go beyond what you're comfortable with

He doesn't want to you to pull away from him

Because the others will not hesitate to push and pull him away if you so much as hinted at not wanting him near you

So he plays it cool

Hyrule also gets concerned when there's too many injuries to go around and he needs to heal the group

Because if you hurt then he can't spare anything else to help you

It's one of the few things he thinks that he's useful for- so if he can't do this little thing for you then why does he bother?

There's so many other guys here that could easily sweep you off of your feet and have so much more to offer you

He doesn't have any land

He doesn't have a house

His Hyrule... isn't the most welcoming and he doesn't like the idea of bringing you from one dangerous situation to another

Especially since he's being hunted for sport back home

It doesn't stop him from trying to win your heart obviously and he tries to show you and win you over in whatever little ways he can.

He's the gentlest with you

Whatever hurting you, he'll heal

Whatever scaring you, he'll deal with

Whatever danger comes your way, he'll end it's miserable existence

He- like Time- daydreams a lot but he's trying to live for the moment

He's almost resigned in a way- that you won't pick him

He knows they're on borrowed time, he knows that something dangerous can take you away from them or that he could be the one to be taken away instead

So he's trying to make up for it in the time that you do have together and spend every second by your side that he can

Because the group gets a little more reckless in their attempts to impress you and be dealt with (whether you're healing them and tending to their wounds or just yelling at them)

He heals the group a lot little less

If they're going to be stupid and get hurt- then he's not going to waste his magic when they're only going to do the same thing the next day

Soon, with enough time and patience, Hyrule begins to hoard all the healing potions as well.

It's an attempt to keep them away from you so when they're hurt he can step in and just get them healed up in a minute

But it also works to keep the group from getting too reckless

It's not his intention but he takes it as it is

If they get hurt too much anyway then that just means less competition for him to deal with and a higher chance with you!

Because of his low confidence about you actually ending up with him, he becomes one of the more mission minded of the group, probably right after Warrior

Since they both have their sights on eradicating the darkness instead of focusing on their love lives (for different reasons) this is the first alliance to be formed

Hyrule wants you to be his but he's at a crossroad

He knows Warrior has a lot of charm to win you over and has the means to make sure you live a good life

He knows it's more than he can ever give you

But he's fairly certain he can take Warrior in a fight

One well timed Thunder Strike and Warrior wouldn't stand a chance

Not to mention that they've been fighting side by side now, so he knows what to look for to bring him down

He doesn't think it'll come to that though

Warrior doesn't seem that interested with you anyway so he doesn't worry about him

Which just leaves the problem of winning your heart

He wonders what life would be like he can love like you do

Twilight

Twilight is the most protective

It's his wolf instincts and his caretaker instincts combined.

He's used to being the one to look after everyone else

Being his village's primary babysitter and all

But wolves are family animals and they protect their mates

He's the one to fight to keep you away from the fights, whether you can handle yourself or not

He can Four agree with this and it's the second alliance that forms

You must be protected at all costs and there's many things around that can injure you, or worse

So they both try their hardest to keep you safe and secure

If bubble wrap existed in Hyrule you would have been wrapped in it and then wrapped again for good measure.

He's the first to run up to you and the first to drag over Hyrule or someone with a fairy or a potion to treat you

He's not afraid to start punching anything that dares to threaten you

Forget the sword

He'll just start swinging... or maybe just go full Woflie even if he's not in his form and go for the jugular

He lets you ride on Epona more often than not and refuses to let you work more than you should

He's quick to carry things for you

He tries to impress you by being a handy man and tries to fix whatever he can get his hands on for you

He's not good at it

But he tries

His love language is acts of service so he's trying

You don't really need his help though

But let him get it out

And tell him that he's doing a good job please, for your sake

He talks a lot about his home life with you and he ask a lot of questions about your own

He's comparing notes

Trying to see what way of life you'd be more comfortable with and how he can accommodate to it

He tries to win you over with the simple life and he paints pretty pictures of having a ranch and a farm and letting you have all and any animals you want

Wolfie make an appearance every other day instead of simply whenever it's convenient

If you're a dog lover then it's even better.

Twilight is not afraid of taking advantage of it to give you all the kisses and cuddles he can get away in his other form

The others would have to fight the each other just to get kisses from you but Wolfie gets special privilege's

He gets kisses no problem

He's not above using it to his advantage

Epona is always on Twilight side and while he's in wolf form, he tells her all about you and how much he loves you and all the ways he finds you amazing and spectacular

Because you're riding Epona more often than not, he tells her to watch after you and to keep your safe and to get to a safe area if they ever get ambushed

She doesn't know how human romance works, so she agrees.

Link is her master and her best friend, so she trusts him with her life and you're important to him, clearly, so you're important to her too

He's not going to lose you like he lost Midna

She left him behind with barely a glance behind

You won't leave him at all

He'll make sure of it

The others won't take you away from him either

Four seems to be the one who's most on his side right now and together they can lessen the competition

He'd hate to fight the guy and maybe they can come to an understanding but he knows he's got the brute strength that Four lacks not to mention Wolfie and Epona as well

So maybe he'll listen to reason

His world used to be so grey with no change in either direction

An eternal twilight

You became his light in the gloom

Sky

Sky is the least violent

He actually falls in the middle of both protectiveness and jealousy.

But he's more set on letting each of the boy pick each other off (not unlike Time) and then he'll figure out who's left over to deal with them then.

Sky also isn't one to fight off the other people who you interact with

He's not going to go confront the person or drag you away and definitely not going to start swinging

He still feels uncomfortable if you aren't by his side but he'll make up for it when you're done by sticking to your hip

Sky doesn't want you to feel cramped by only talking to the group

But he does get a little jumpy when you're beyond his line of sight.

That being said- he will let you out of his sight

Not for long periods of time, mind you, but he's not going to be in your shadow the entire time or demand to be glued to your hip

He's arguably the most normal out of the group- the least yandere if you will

Still crazy though

Sky is also one to agree with Warrior and Twilight.

He's not a part of any alliance but between wanting you to be safe and still wanting you to be healthy and clean (he knows how being clean helps out ones moral and he doesn't want you to be depressed when you're with them) he'd let them do the fighting and arguing for him and when they lose a bit, he'll say something and add to their cause

He's trying to be chill and he plays on his harp when you're nearby.

If you come sit next him to listen and chill- he will absolutely be over the moon

He will go through some of your things to make sure you have anything and everything you'd need for their adventure

But he won't take away your weapons or go through your diary (he wouldn't be able to read it anyway)

He does try to ask you in some roundabout way if he has permission to do that.

It'll be long winded and vague and a total play on words, so be careful to what you agree with when he asks something of you

Sky although is the least violent, that's in regards to other humans

Monsters have learned to keep away from him when he's on the battle field and if they haven't learned that...

They will

He's the one that tries to have your relationship mature and grow naturally.

Sky is going to simply be your friend first and show you that he has your best interest at heart

So when you talk to him about your problems and how the others are driving you crazy, he'll give you advice, tell you he's on your side and openly give you outs to avoid the others.

If you want time alone and the others begin looking for you, he'll tell them you went in the other direction and he'll send them on a wild goose chase.

Since he's on your side, he tells you to at least let him know where you're going and for how long so he can distract the others.

He's not concerned about you running away, since the others are going to do the work for him

Four and Twilight and Wolfie can find and hunt you down in a heart beat and you'll be together again

He won't blame you for running away, there's a lot of people who won't leave you alone in the group and it annoys him too

And Hyrule, Wind and Time keep you within the group and close by so he never has to worry about not knowing where you are at all times

Warrior and Wild keep you well fed and well taken care of

And Legend makes sure that you always have a potion on you and has even given some power rings to ensure your safety

So all he has to do is butter you up by being the least persistent of them all and you'll fall for him and you can be together forever and ever and even be the start of Hyrule as everyone knows it

Wouldn't that be nice?

While he may not be the most musically inclined of the group, he's the one to serenade you when he gets the chance

He plays his harp more often than not, trying to get the notes out that he hears in his head when he looks at you

His life was such a simple song before you came along but now... It's a symphony, he wants you to know this

Four

Four is the most controlling

He's the one putting restrictions on you left and right and is the one to never want you to leave his side- let alone his line of sight.

You see, he's got these voices in his head that bounce ideas off of each other.

When one might be, hey that guy is talking to you

The other responds with, he's close to you too

One might say, you're smiling and it's beautiful

Another says, why is it directed at that guy?

Which snowballs to, you're a little too close, a little too nice, is he flirting? Has he touched you? Is he trying to make a move?

And then he's even more possessive and it grows and spirals and next thing he knows, he's next to you again and chewing the poor guy out for no reason when it was a simple conversation about the weather and directions.

And that's in public

Now add in the threat of monsters and traps and many other dangerous that surround the group as a whole

He's paranoids in the extreme

So when Twilight suggests that they tie you to Epona and keep you where he they can always see you, he's the first to agree

In fact he feels as if Twilight is the only one who's actually looking out for your well being

Wind tries to throw fits and get the two of them to back off but he's just a kid, what does he know? He should know better anyway, he knows how dangerous this journey is going to get, so why is Wind trying to actively put you in harms way?

Twilight a least can get Wind to listen to reason and Twilight's better at explaining it than he is so while Four'll yell, Wind is really Twilight's problem.

He doesn't like the idea of fighting is friends but he can see that well... He's the only to notice that they're not as close as they used to be when you first joined.

He thinks that Warrior can feel it but Four is the one who'll say it out loud.

Four is actually the most trigger happy out of all them, he's not afraid to break character and yell at some poor passerby who's too foolish enough to even look in your direction

He's the angry guard dog in public and it's a little hard to reign him most of the time

Twilight agree with him in this but he's also the one to hold him back

The last thing they need is to be kicked out of town

But if while you're there maybe he can get something for you?

He's the kind of person to make something for their beloved but he only knows how to make weapons and tools

Things that he's never going to give to you and actively tries to keep them away from at all costs

Yes, if you have your own weapons he'll also try to take them away

He'd rather see you angry than injured

No, he does not see how being weaponless in a fight will lead to more injuries and no, he not going to listen to those who try to tell him that.

Maybe he can learn how to make jewelry and gift that instead?

A pretty thing like yourself should be adorned in more beauty.

And he can save enough to make it with rubies and diamonds and any gold that he can salvage in Hyrule

He'd give you and make you anything you want

You'd be dripping in jewels if he had it his way

He also knows that the voices try to point out his flaws and all the ways that he's really not that appealing to any potential partners

It doesn't matter that he's merged and they all have the same flaws

But whenever he's next to you and things are calm, the voices are quiet and he feels like him

Wild

Wild is the Most violent

Like Four, he does not care if it's a simple conversation, if someone else is taking up your time and attention then he will want to start swinging.

He's usually held back by Warrior and Time since Twilight typically has to restrain Four

But if you're in danger? Real danger?

He becomes the equivalent of the Fierce Deity, no mask required

The battle field becomes a blood bath by his hand alone

Sure the others will want to to cause some destruction as well and destroy any and all threats to you, but Wild goes the extra mile

Forget Twilight going feral, he has an excuse- but Wild?

He'll go ballistically feral, even going as far to drop his weapons to rip into the threats with his hands and teeth

He has to make sure there's absolutely nothing in between you and him

He's not afraid to throw away his whole good guy reputation and even the reputation of the hero in order make sure he's the last man standing

Wild is now taking notes on how the the group fights and how they defend themselves, defend you and try to figure out the best ways to take them down

If there was ever to be a physical fight within the group, he'll not only be a part of it but most likely also the instigator

Wild has already lost all his friends and family before, he can't afford to lose anyone else

Besides his Hyrule has so much more to offer you than some of the others

Not to mention he has his own house- in a safe village- with low monsters around it- and barely any reason to think that he wouldn't be able to provide for you

He's got the rupees he needs from his monster farming and everything's nearby. Whatever he can't get, he can teleport to and he wouldn't have to leave you alone for long periods of time.

Wild goes out of his way to buy you clothes since the others have taken care of your other needs (much to his chagrin)

But he also makes sure you have the best portions of the meals he makes

He keep tracks how much you ate and when

He always there to give you a snack if you even mention of being peckish

He knows the others won't mind if he dotes in this manner

Not only because it's for you...

He has all the food anyway.

When he sees that you're wearing Legend's old tunic, he instantly hates it

He and Legend are less of an alliance and merely on tolerable terms- not that Legend notices or cares- because of this and Wild knows that your clothes have taken a lot battery

He wants to you be warm and protected

But he also has a lot of extra outfits

So he takes a page out of Legend's book and gives you some as well

He's a little disappointed you don't wear them as often but he knows that most of them are specialized for certain terrain- Legend's is more of a catch all kind of deal so he can understand the need for general uses

He's not happy about it

But he understands

The crazy thing is, you wouldn't want to end up in his Hyrule either

Pray you never do

Like Time, Wild has been all over his Hyrule and has traveled to all the nooks and crannies

He knows that he can hide you away without the others ever knowing what happened to you

Not even Wolfie would be able to track you

Why?

Because (and this is from AoC) he can teleport more than one person at a time, so he can just take you far away and somewhere secluded, somewhere where you wouldn't be able to leave

Hebra region? In the cabin where he learned how to shield surf? Or play the snow bowl game?

Gerudo Wasteland?

Akkala Region? With Robbie? It's hard to get past the guardians and the high level monsters...

Or maybe ditch you in the mountains with Paya in Kakariko Village?

Or maybe leave you on the Great Plateau? You can't get down without a paraglider...

Life with you is the only reason he's still on this journey instead of just taking you and leaving

The darkness is still around and it threatens his future with you

But it looks bright in his head when all is over and he's so happy that he met you

Life is now pink! And he won't take off his rose tinted glasses any time soon!

Legend

Legend is the most possessive

As some people have headcanoned in the past, he has a problem letting things go

He's lost so many people he cares about- he knows that items are a little harder to lose

He's the Collector- the Hoarder

Naturally when he sees something that he wants, he'll stop at nothing to make it his.

However, since he has a problem coming into direct contact with his own feelings, he's projecting

Legend instead tries to keep you at arms length and fails miserably

He doesn't want to fall for someone only to have them be ripped form him again, and again and again,

He cares for the group still even after their disagreements and eventually mistrust

He doesn't want to leave this little family they've made for themselves and has disillusioned himself into thinking that he can save it before it's too late

But in his fairytale ending, you're with him

Legend, though, still knows that their time will end and everyone will eventually go home so by the time everyone begins fighting and jealousy runs amuck, he's trying to hold everyone at arms length

When you don't give him attention, he's prone to get angry and may very well at times act like he hates you

He doesn't like it when you so much as breath in someone else's direction

You're his and his alone, why is anyone else even worth your time and energy?

But he's not going to say this out loud

So he's frustrated with himself and pouts often

So he's stuck in a cycle of self hatred and jealousy and not willing to do something to change it

But when you do give him attention, he's melts into a puddle

He's at your beck and call if so much as say his name

There's very little that he isn't willing to do for you or get for you, anything to make you happy

He's also quick to give you power rings to protect you even if he's against you fighting

Legend is also going to give you an extra tunic if (/when) your clothes take too much damage and they're too far gone for him to fix

It's a power move on his part

Not only does he feel giddy with boyish excitement when he sees you in his old tunic (that definitely has some kind of magical properties to ensure your safety), it's also him marking you as his property

And the others know it

Wild does a similar thing so you can at least have a change of clothes but Legend is quick to tailor them when you're not looking to not fit you and be uncomfortable

He's the one going through your things for sure

He need to know that he's the one who's taking care of you

He needs to know you have everything you need

He needs to know if there's anything that you're lacking so that he can sweep in and provide it for you

He's not really planning on taking out the competition or is planning beyond keeping you by his side for the day

He (like Hyrule) is living for the moment, because he's afraid he's going to blink and you'd be gone and there would be nothing else left for him

But you won't be gone

He's going to make sure of that

He's got tunnel vision for sure

But since he's also trying to not fall for you and get his heart broken, it becomes a game of hot and cold with a whole lot of minefields in between that could set him off for (what looks like) no reason

He hates you- no he doesn't- he wants nothing to do with you- he wants to be your everything- he's not going to write you poetry or braid your hair or fall asleep listening to your heart beat- he would kill for that to be his reality- he hates that you're all he's able to think about now- don't leave him please

He's not crushing

He's not

He is

Wind

Wind is the least protective- Still protective but arguably not to the degree of the others

You see, he knows that the others protect him because he's the youngest

And he's not blind

He can see that they're just as, if not more, protective over you

He can see how you hate it and how much it annoys you

He's not going to make that same move

And as a bonus, since the others are protecting you anyway, why should he put in the work and protect you as well?

There's enough people watching you all the time

With the others taking care of it, he can plan on winning you over

He's going to give you as much freedom as he's able to get away with

It'll put him as your favorite

This immediately puts him at a crossroads with Four who's somehow a hair's breadth away from tying you up and chaining you together by the wrists

They fight against each other the most

He plans on marrying you

It's honestly in the same degree of young children that say they're growing to grow up and marry their dad or their mom

Because obviously you marry the person you love and you stay with them for the rest of your life

And he loves you.

So that's what he plans to do

Win you over is step one

Then he (and you) just need to wait a few years for him to get older

And then he'll marry you

He does not see a problem with this plan

Typically I make the reader the same age as him to avoid the worst of it but in this case, this does not matter

I'd say that if you're older, he'd get more easily attached to giving you the freedom you've been missing

With him by your side obviously

Because you're older- you're an 'adult'- you can take care of yourself

You're so cool in his eyes

The others, naturally, see a problem with this

Not only out of jealously at the very thought of it not being them to marry you but because they know he's young and if you're older, (say closer to Twilight and Warrior's age) then they can see the problem it'll prove to be for you from a moral stand point

The others (mainly Legend and Four) bully tease him when you're not around about how selfish he is to even think about making you wait, when you could easily marry one of them instead, so why would you ever choose him?

He tries not to let it get to him because he does hang out with you more than they get to- so maybe they're really just jealous that his plan is working

Wind has the more innocent approach to this whole ordeal out of the whole group

His obsession isn't healthy, obviously, but he at least the excuse of being young and not knowing how to deal with crushes

Because he's awkward with it, (and he knows it) he's actually pretty quick to shut away the worst of it when he's spending time with you, less you think he's weird and push him away

Not only does he not want that to happen, but he's heard the others come up to you countless times regarding him and his behavior and if you'd like him to leave you alone

Because they will deal with him if you so much as say one word of annoyance

The choice is yours

If you indulge him when he wants your attention then he's more like himself and becomes the most normal out of the whole group

He becomes the him when you first joined

Before the obsession

Wind becomes your safest bet in terms of keeping your sanity intact and it's the groups saving grace to keep up any illusion that they're still normal

Wind is dealing with a highly flammable vial of puppy love concentrate

All in the form of budding teenage yandere hormones

If you had met him any later in his life, the cocktail would have no doubt exploded into the form of the other's behavior and he'd seem like a completely different person instead

He's almost like a lost puppy, always following you around and being in your shadow

It would be cute if he wasn't crazy

Wind adores you though and he wants you to know that

[adamworu]

The Subtle Horror of Evangelion

What keeps us all hooked to Eva time and time again? You get through your initial, confused watch of either Evangelion endgame, probably sometime in your adolescence wondering what the hell it is you just watched. The original source material is suffused with unsettling imagery, and sometimes too-close-for-comfort shorts. It’s so much to process that one watch is never enough. The imagery isn’t enough, however, because the mid-to-late-90s series comes with things you’ll pick up the more you focus on certain characters’ struggles or the interesting world-building. They arise little by little with every re-watch, adding onto what interested you in Eva to begin with.

There’s always that little voice asking you “What it is that really draws me here?”

Oh. The horrors.

The tragedy of it all.  

These things never leave you the second you bear witness to them, whether you become aware of them or not. You’re disturbed over it, a tad worried, no doubt, but you’re strangely hooked.

Horror works better on limitation, it’s why found footage capturing pale, ghastly, monstrosities of the deep wood will always stand as exponentially terrifying. While most all of us have taken cracks at Eva’s budget at some point, that’s what really drives these terrors home. Its low budget nature made it work.

Evangelion has commentary which forces a viewer to reflect. Most no one enjoys that. It’s the fear, however, that has its audience come back. Evangelion’s reflection alone isn’t what gives Eva it’s charm decades after its run. It’s the little things, most everyone misses, the anxieties, the terrors, all of it. Most of those things, fly over a lot of fans’ heads.

Buckle up, there’s a lot to go through…. (warning for mentions of abuse, body horror, means of suicide, nudity, blood, and gore)

Table of Contents

I. Icebergs for Dummies

Tier 1: The Tip of the Iceberg

II. The Hedgehog’s Dilemma

III. The AT-Field as a Universal Metaphor

IV. Kensuke Aida + War Idealism

V. Shinji is the Audience Surrogate

VI. Abuse in Evangelion

Tier 2: Just Below the Tip

VII. The Infamous Elevator Scene

VIII. Naoko + Casper

IX. The Other End of Existential Horror

Tier 3: The Body of The Iceberg

X. War Horrors of ‘Ambivalence’

XI. Unit-01 Berserk Scene

XII. Dummy Plugs + CNS

XIII. Kaworu + Adam’s True Power

Tier 4: Pre-Abyss

XIV. The “Nihilist” Lens

XV. The True Nature of Sync Rates

XVI. Unit 01+ MPE Gorging Scenes

XVII. Ancient Ruins of Arka

Tier 5: The Abyss

XVIII. Split Second Misato Death

XIX. Humans Are The Villains in Eva

XX. The Ultimate Paradox

XXI. Conclusion

I. Icebergs for Dummies

For those unaware, the iceberg image illustrates that things are much deeper than they appear, just like an actual iceberg. You’ve probably seen this selfsame iceberg--- separated by tiers--- a few times looking through late night internet rabbit holes (Putting it out in the open: I’m personally guilty of this!), fictional or non. It helps you understand why you’re so enticed to certain material, that you’d revisit them. The highest parts of the iceberg are the things in the material most everyone knows, the surface level stuff. The lower you go, however, the lesser known the parts of the material are. These are the things the person are aware of.

Eva has some iceberg illustrations if you look around, albeit they don’t go through the more saddening, sometimes graphic factors of Eva, only theories navigating through Eva’s universe. Evangelion is so deceptively packed with blink-and-you’ll-miss-it subtleties that if an iceberg were centered on that, the diagram would be packed. And I’m being generous as I write this.

A few ground rules, before we begin: The iceberg will deal with the more obscure and dark material as the tiers get higher rather than it only being relegated to obscure bits. The lower the tier, the higher the iceberg and the more subtler the anxieties which graduate into horrors the deeper you go.

Yes, Evangelion is occasionally horrifying. No, Evangelion is not lovecraftian. I think people use the term lovecraftian way too freely. It’s not enough to see something with (sometimes too many) limbs twisted in ungodly angles. Or legs where legs shouldn’t be. The same applies for creatures assuming forms we don’t entirely comprehend. Eva has never delved into the angels being incomprehensibly terrifying specifically because they come from a cosmic expanse.

Some of these actual horrors, big and small,  hit you after adolescence, something that makes you feel deeply for the characters’ dilemmas. It’s a feeling that grows and sometimes aches, rather than fades over time for many of us.

Tier 1: The Tip of the Iceberg

II. Hedgehog’s Dilemma

III. The AT Field as a Universal Metaphor

IV. Kensuke Aida + War Idealism

V. Shinji As the Audience Surrogate

VI. Abuse in Evangelion

II. Hedgehog’s Dilemma

Evangelion has its hand in so many psychological and philosophical cookie jars, from Freud, to Maslow, Johari, as well as Dostoevsky. The very tip of the Subtle Horrors of Evangelion Iceberg is something viewers are introduced to in the fourth episode of the series. It is one of the many psychological concepts dotted throughout the original show. Out of all those psychological concepts, this is the most explicit and most recurring.

The Hedgehog’s Dilemma describes the conundrum of two hedgehogs. The closer two hedgehogs become to one another, the more they harm each other with their spines. If you want to properly live, you need the closeness and intimacy of others. By allowing yourself to be close, however, you end up at great risk of being hurt. It’s the very reason what drives those who live to become guarded. Being perpetually apprehensive or building up walls isn’t a remedy for pains, however. The Hedgehog’s Dilemma isn’t just about why people become guarded after relationships ended on bad notes. It’s about the overall inevitability of pain.

Life is a continual push-pull of relationships, because we’re all creatures of comfort. We guard ourselves to varying degrees and sometimes even tell ourselves we won’t get close again, but personal comfort is one of our most ultimate drives.

The Hedgehog’s Dilemma not only describes that harm happens to us anyway, but illustrates that because comfort is universal we seek companionship regardless.

III. The AT-Field as a Universal Metaphor

The AT-Field is the most crucial rabbit hole in understanding the largest meta-narrative of Evangelion.

If Hedgehog’s Dilemma explains the what and the why people become more or less guarded, then AT-Fields explain the how. People build up walls around themselves all the time. You walk away from someone because they crack a smile at you... and it seems off.

Because you feel an anxious pang.

That’s an AT Field.

AT-Fields, or Absolute Terror Fields bear a few metaphors, one of which being boundaries. You see it as Shinji’s fear of becoming intimate, knowing the future implications or Asuka’s masculine protest (putting up a front). We can see an excellent example of the AT Field used by Asuka, her “Wall of Jericho” in episode 9.

You also see it manifested through the angels, the strange creatures in Eva who supposedly desire to merge with Adam, their mother. Seeing this in the angels makes you realize that the AT Field is actually a metaphor for boundaries which implicates us all. In episode 22, Arael, 15th angel, seeks to understand Asuka. The angel uses its AT-Field (a beam of light) no, its boundary, to breach Asuka’s boundaries. 

AT-Fields can be used to not only build up personal walls but to breach them as well. The irony of Arael’s action is that Arael’s AT-Field being erected while it floats just over Earth’s gravitational field makes it immensely similar to the Second Child; they’re both guarded.

The AT-Field is a funny sort of thing because it also sometimes explains how two people who are so alike can be guarded from one another. Sometimes you gain contempt for someone because they’re too much like your least favorable traits. You see this with Shinji and Asuka, both children without their mother desiring validation. Shinji calls Asuka a child midway into episode 9 and Asuka isn’t shy on voicing ideas of Shinji as dense or immature. They’re throwing stones in glass houses.

AT Fields are used to get the user out of dangers both physical and perceived. Sachiel, 3rd angel in the original series’ pilot episode, uses its AT-Field, in the form of flotation, to get itself from enemy fire. It never shows this until it is attacked first.

AT Fields are also responsible for one’s identity and physicality in Eva. Without the AT Field you don’t really exist. When Rei assumes the form of the person the character being cast into Instrumentality loved most in End of Evangelion, she’s causing the character to give up their AT Field. With that gone, they lose their physicality, turning into LCL (given the lovely term ‘tanged’ by fans). The ‘tanged’ individual suffers metaphorical death. Evangelion argues that in order for one to exist, others must perceive you and you must perceive you, a point best illustrated in episode 16. Since everyone is converted to LCL, no one really ‘exists.’ Rei describes this unnerving state as the inability of differentiating who you are and others, since everyone lacks a physical state without AT-Fields. Metaphorical death can be argued as worse than physical, since we all exist to make an impression of some sort. It’s what ties all the Eva cast together and the cause of their dilemmas. Validation. You can be living, yet very much forgotten or simply unknown.

There is living and there is “living.”

You can’t “die” unless someone knows you. You were never there. AT Fields are the thing that make us live, but as a drawback, prevents us from understanding each other fully. Kaworu states in episode 24 that AT Fields are the wall of the mind and the heart of the soul, an unapproachable piece of sanctuary. When all else is taken from us, all we have left is our place of respite.

I’d also like to pitch the saddening reality that the AT-Fields are what prevent us from understanding angels as a whole, our genetic siblings as scared of this world as we are. The psychological angels want to understand us, that much is true. The angels, however, use forms of communication at the expense of our boundaries. Because people greatly value boundaries it makes it hard for us to comprehend angels. The creatures are hardly malicious when you realize they wonder why we all do things that actually hurt us, as well as the fact that they do understand our minds. But, because they breach our boundaries, we become even more wary of the (mostly) unknown. Angels may be us, but the strange forms they take are something we aren’t familiar with. The feeling is mutual with angels, wondering why there are many of us, our forms and outward appearances so identical. It’s a truth as old as time that we all fear the unknown.

The anxiety of an AT Field means comprehending that there’s very little chance to 100% get others. Because we’re all wary in some degree, because we’re set in an idea or perception of someone, even if the someone in the past no longer applies. It’s not healthy for you to continue dwelling on relationships not meant to be, keeping yourself up at night asking why, because both of you have closed off each other for good. There’s always that chance the other can come back and if they do seek to understand despite past hardships, that’s good. If they don’t, all you can do is move on and accept it.

IV. Kensuke Aida + War Idealism

Kensuke is one of Shinji’s classmates, a supporting player in the series. He’s close with Toji Suzuhara, a boy who takes his anger on Shinji, after finding out that his sister has been injured during Shinji’s fight with 3rd angel Sachiel. As Suzuhara beats him down, Kensuke downplays the incident. Kensuke’s and Toji’s relationship is particularly interesting because the latter is affected to some degree by war (the war by humanity to prevent our destruction by angels). Kensuke glorifies the sentient, implicitly eldritch, multi-armored war-machines.

Kensuke can be best described as the ‘wow, cool robots’ drawing you’ve probably seen floating around. This is in relation to Gundam’s war commentary, but replace Gundam with Eva. Kensuke is enamored with the Evangelions and totally, willfully ignorant to the war horrors. Adolescents are forced to be the salvation of humanity, feeling every bit of damage to their own bodies whenever the Evangelion takes any hurt. Even after the war for humanity is long over, the pilots will be afflicted with traumas that will always hang over them.

Kensuke’s glorification is also what draws him to be Shinji’s friend. He uses Shinji’s status as a way of becoming a pilot himself by meeting up with Misato, putting himself at the cockpit of a strange creature magnificent machine.

When Toji becomes hospitalized after his battle in a hijacked Unit-03 vs. A Dummy System-controlled Unit-01, Kensuke expresses discontent at not being a pilot. He’s annoyed because “everyone” but him is a pilot.

Thing is, Kensuke isn’t heartless, just ignorant. Idealism is one of the uglier things that runs thick in the heart of Evangelion. His is one of many cases of unhealthy idealism in Eva, another example of making it difficult for those living to understand one another.

V. Shinji as the Audience Surrogate

Shinji as the audience surrogate isn’t always touched up on, but is sort of understood subconsciously by a lot of the viewers. Shinji’s character is specific, yet so generalized that him being a surrogate for the audience just… works. Don’t believe me? Shinji gets two psychological exploration-based episodes whereas Asuka and Rei each have one. Episodes 16 and 24 are both psychological angel episodes, albeit the latter is more in-series subversive. The 24th episode doesn’t involve a breach of subconscious boundary, but the pilot (Shinji) is in the hot-seat, being made aware of their issues. Leliel, 12th angel, contacts Shinji in the former of these. Both characters talk to one another, shown as a series of horizontal lines and vertical lines, sometimes intersecting. These lines are a strong reference to the Johari Window, a tool in psychology which helps someone become more aware of themselves. The Window’s quadrants are as follows

1. the part known to the self

2. the part known to others

3. the part known to the self and others

4. the part known to no one

Leliel also states that the self only exists of one perceives themselves as well as others. The angel also states that Shinji could better his reality, to which Shinji absolves himself of responsibility by arguing the horrible state of his reality. It’s a subtle pushing to Shinji and by extension the viewer into free will. Kaworu builds up on these concepts with Eva’s in-universe concept for boundaries. Free Will versus Determinism is brought up here, with the idea that AT-Fields are brought up because the living (again, not people – emotional complexities aren’t only human) will them into existence. By exercising free will, it means enduring pain, one of Shinji’s, and again the audience’s greatest fears. Any relationship has pains and conflicts. This is all a buildup of free will, determinism, self-awareness, and the Hedgehog’s Dilemma. Understanding all of these means swallowing the “pain is inevitable” pill. The problem with much of us is that we like the idea of relationships rather than being in one. We want to feel validated but without the conflict, even if the conflict can be solved. We’re all Shinji because we’re all aware to life’s hellish catch-22s, so we run. There’s times in our lives where we run as far as possible from these woes, these truths, but there’s pain in running too. It’s why escapism seems like such a viable action for some of us.

Pain is inevitable, but pain can be mitigated.

More damning evidence to Shinji being a viewer stand-in lies in either endgame of Evangelion (pun intended). In EoE, after the Komm Susser Tod sequence of everyone on Earth being tanged, we’re treated to a shot of EoE’s live audience.

We hear Shinji’s voice about his reality while he talks to Rei toward EoE’s end. There are shots of the city, of people going about their daily lives cementing that this is about us. End of Evangelion shows us a less favorable side of Shinji, a departure from the lauded end series “Congratulations” scene, in which he does understand free will rather than perpetually dwell on negatives. Shinji reacts unfavorably toward Asuka in EoE after his mother’s speech to the audience that ‘anywhere can be paradise’ and Shinji stating he doesn’t know where his happiness resides. Shinji (We) still has a ways to go if he wants to be a better person.

It’s probably why many of us are either inclined to champion Shinji or harangue him, and either reaction is fair. Many of us are aware of audience surrogates, but never to this extent. Shinji isn’t his best person, but he can be. Being his best means self-reflection. Droves of people who first were exposed to Evangelion were teens, and again many of Shinji’s woes are specific yet so generalized, hence our feelings of defense and possibly disgust.

No one likes scathing, yet accurate call-outs on their person, but they’re paramount for us to understand ourselves and others.

VI. Abuse in Evangelion

One of the worst things recurring in all of original Evangelion is a bevvy of abuses.

Abuse comes in many shapes and forms and it’s many characters’ realities. Abuse happens not because the universe ‘wills it’ (determinism aka, ‘that’s just how people are’). Abuse, be it conscious emotional absence, actual neglect, among other ungodly acts fly though the cast.

Abuse is cyclical and a lot of those doing it often get away with murder because they have power.

Much of Eva is comprised of children being forced to sort through adults’ emotional baggage. Those children become adults and the cycle continues.

We all know a Gendo. Or even perhaps a Misato. Hell, even a Ritsuko.

Anno states that Gendo’s character is of a societal meta-text, which explains many viewers’ ire in relation to the character.  He’s responsible for many of the seedy goings-on in Evangelion be it the financial (see: Jet Alone’s orchestrated out-of-control nature to give NERV more funding) or abuses (see: Rei, Shinji, Ritsuko, and, Naoko). It’s for this reason why Gendo’s actions are a sore spot for a lot of fans.

Anno: I’m not sure that it’s a real father [that Gendo represents]. Well, not a father in the sense of a parent with a blood relation to his child, but more, I think, [in the sense of being] a representative of society or the system. That’s why he has that expression.

Takekuma: So, he’s kind of amorphous.

Anno: The angels are the same. I made them appear amorphous in that way because, for me, society is unclear, the enemy is unclear.

Takekuma: Gendo is [a representation of] the boundries or the pressure of society itself.

Anno: That might be it. Perhaps Gendo is [a representation of] society itself.

http://wiki.evageeks.org/Statements_by_Evangelion_Staff

After many re-watches of certain Eva episodes, it just hit me, as I’m writing this why I’m sometimes apprehensive on an adult-exclusive lens of the show. This happens a lot in adolescence and our struggles are made trivial because of the mishandled baggage. As children, you’re meant to be subservient to parental whims. You have this sort of obligation to solve their problems. Give them closure. It doesn’t even need to be parental baggage, but just from adults in general. You see the way the adults act not just with the children but with each other. You see the way Gendo justifies neglecting Shinji, objectifying Naoko and Ritsuko or Naoko’s emotional absences as a mother to her daughter (also manifested through the MAGI). It’s these immature excuses as to why they can’t extend empathy to those around them.

It’s always excuses.

Eva’s original series has always been a show about children.

Tier 2: Just Below the Tip

VII. The Infamous Elevator Scene

VIII. Naoko + Casper

IX. The Other End of Existential Horror

VII. The Infamous Elevator Scene

The Elevator Scene is a sequence that sometimes gets glossed over due to Evangelion’s fleeting budget.  It took me years to realize the true gravity of the awkward silence of both the 22nd episode and its Director’s Cut version. The Director’s Cut version has Asuka abruptly jerking in the silence,  but that blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment speaks volumes. Understanding the scene means understanding why Asuka quietly stews in her anger. Understanding why Asuka stews means understanding Asuka from her debut to her emotional breakdown.

Asuka’s appearance in the 8th episode, Asuka Strikes!, is marked by a bold persona that carries on until the end. She isn’t shy on imparting her prowess to Shinji, stating that Units 00 as well as 01 were the prototype and the test type, respectively. Her Evangelion, Unit-02 is the finished product. She even states that she graduated from university. Despite these impressive feats so early in adolescence, the only time in which they’re noted is when Asuka talks of them. Misato takes in both Shinji and Asuka, but only ever “dotes” on Shinji. Gendo pays attention to Shinji because he pilots Unit-01, and 01 contains the soul of his late wife. Rei is the clone of Gendo’s late wife, hence Gendo’s attention and overall creepy, selfish obsession with her. Asuka and Shinji’s relationship, with Misato as their caretaker strongly mimics a Golden Child and the Second Fiddle. The only difference is, Shinji gains more attention due to Gendo’s and Misato’s respective baggage. Again, Eva is a series where children are forced to handle the baggage (with no break in the cycle) and when the child doesn’t have anything the adult particularly can clue in on, they become neglected.

That’s Asuka’s dilemma.

It’s why Asuka forces herself to grow up.

It’s why Asuka is driven to be competitive to Shinji and Rei, later growing contemptible at both.

Asuka suffers a few curses, one of which being the youngest, the inevitability of being consciously sidelined dawns on her, leading to her selfsame breakdown toward series’ end. She aligns youth with trivialization, so naturally, she’d front with the opposite. She never gets help in relation to her period. Misato and Ritsuko realize something is up with Asuka but they never really offer her the support.

There’s also the flashback to her trauma in episode 22’s beginning. She’s replaced by her mother post-Contact Experiment (which led to a deterioration of her mental health) via a doll that looks like her, red hair in pigtails. It’s the leading factor to her feigned boldness, her ego. The way in which she is marginalized in the series brings it all back.

Rei breaks the silence with a few words of compassion and all Asuka can do is express disbelief. She mistakes compassion for contempt.

For pity.

The idea that anyone would extend kindness, especially now of all times, is unbelievable.

Asuka also experiences a dilemma here, a dilemma those like her face. She already knows what it means to be vulnerable and deeply hurt, but she needs to make herself vulnerable because now, more than ever, she needs the support. Being vulnerable will cause past traumas to flood back in full force, but by stewing she deprives herself of any support. Rei offers that support, but a few words of support in a wave of trivialization can’t help but feel a bit too strange.

Asuka’s greatest anxiety is realized in the twenty second episode. It’s of being and staying second fiddle, that she’s always been set up to fail. Even 2 episodes after the fact,  in which she actually starves herself does she realize once more how she’s permanently ‘below’ others.

Asuka’s curse finds itself in real life, and it’s for that reason why I believe some find themselves resonating with her. Asuka’s gradual descent into bitterness is something I find myself waking up some nights thinking about after 7 years going through Eva; hers is a cautionary tale on being emotionally distant to cries of a damaged youth. Casually imparted knowledge of past achievements, and the competitive attitude mixed with embitterment, some of which from a genuine place but also a product of neglect. We were forced to play second fiddle, we forced ourselves to grow up to feel more legitimate, forced to carry an ire that stews because it seems no one listens.

VIII. Naoko+Casper

The late Naoko Akagi is a woman of multitudes. Those multitudes are compartmentalized into the 3 MAGI. They are Balthasar, Melchior, and Casper.

Casper shows itself to be the most prominent aspect of Naoko’s personality, her as a woman. Ritsuko states that, after the defeat of Iruel, 11th angel, that Casper is the part of her mother which remained that way to the end.

Balthasar and Melchior have been bested, be it by rival MAGI, or Iruel’s assault. This calls back to the fact that Naoko’s other facets aren’t anywhere near as prominent. Naoko has cited her own emotional negligence, of only showing emotions should it ever benefit her.

Casper on 3 occasions fights tooth and nail, Iruel’s assault, an attack by multiple MAGI in End of Evangelion or the defiance of Ritsuko activating the self-destruct sequence. Ritsuko does this to seek vengeance against Gendo for coming to the immense realization that he never genuinely cared for her. Gendo has always used Ritsuko for her body. This would destroy NERV, meaning killing herself and Gendo.

Then you realize why Casper overrides the sequence.

Casper’s stubborn behavior wasn’t actually to defend NERV but to protect Gendo. Casper’s defiance aka Naoko’s emotional absence toward her daughter allowed Gendo to kill a bewildered, rightfully angered Ritsuko.

The saddest part of Casper’s, no, Naoko’s choice is that Naoko got away with murder. Evangelion is a story about children dealing with the selfishness of adults and the adults never receiving justice for their wrongdoings. The relationship between Ritsuko and Naoko is an excellent example that this doesn’t just implicate the young pilots. Ritsuko dies in End of Evangelion with the truth that her mother, as a woman, in the end chose the man who manipulated both of them.

IX. The Other End of Existential Horror

Some spend their whole lives trying to make a mark. Others can’t help but be known.

People get smart sometimes to get themselves out of a current situation. Kaworu and Rei’s existences are such that they’re deadlocked from living. Their existences are the product of an experiment, to be later heavily watched and raised as the Last Messenger. The latter is the result of Gendo’s obsession with his late wife.

Kaworu and Rei’s existential crises are opposite from the rest of the cast; while others do their damndest to become known, they cannot be unknown. Rei’s character centering more around her identity than other characters is also initially and sneakily alluded in the opening.

The Johari Window is a tool encouraging self-awareness in the person, alluded to twice in the show, with the second time being in the sixteenth episode. Both usages of that illustration, for Rei, and Shinji drive home crucial aspects of the meta-text.

This would also tie Rei to Shinji in End of Evangelion forcing Shinji to reflect on his own awareness and will. Rei is an astute, young girl whose arc is about her personal relationship with identity, something she is all too familiar with due to her objectified nature. Rei’s arc is even more so entrenched in identity than other characters that she is one of the characters imparting personal and universal realities.

Ayanami Rei’s existence from start to finish is inundated with the issues of others, causing her to internalize being always expendable. In Rei’s Poem in episode 14, it becomes clear that she sees herself based on usage. She likens herself to a field of flowers, which slyly alludes to the Dummy System’s “parts” 9 episodes later, other Reis.

  Rei is seen as malleable vessel which houses thoughts rather than her own person and she can’t do anything about it. So she resigns to her reality. Even if she does tell off Gendo in End of Evangelion for his objectifying, she’s not even out of the woods. She never will be.

I used to think Rei’s “slap” to the face to the man with the (most) baggage was empowering. Then I learned about abuse during adolescence, how kids who lack a support system act while away from their abusers. Even saying an emphatic “fuck you” to your abusers isn’t enough to be a happy ending. Rei is a girl who lacks a support system and she suffers from it. Start to finish.

Kaworu’s crises are much trickier to pinpoint because there’s so little to work with. He doesn’t get an episode dealing with personal, subconscious explorations. Getting his character means first getting how Evangelion re-contextualizes what “Ode to Joy” symbolizes. It also means understanding the AT-Field and most people won’t pick that up on an initial foray. Or maybe even a second. Most people don’t pick up that the AT Field implicates anything living and physical or its metaphor for boundaries and identity. There’s the common misconception that Evangelion is a “human” show.

Kaworu marks off his appearance humming “Ode to Joy” while Shinji wonders who to turn to. It’s a song generally known for its jovial nature, but most importantly, Ode to Joy is:

known also as the “Choral” Symphony. Its finale is a musical setting of Friedrich von Schiller ’s “Ode to Joy,” a hymn to the unity and freedom of humanity.

http://www.dictionary.com/browse/ninth-symphony

The Choral Symphony assumes a more horrific context later on. Kaworu is the last messenger and what his action is would lead to the mass annihilation to lilin/human or angels. ‘Unity of man’ is changed in Eva’s context – it marks either unity of man or the death of man. It doesn’t matter who Kaworu allows unity to, because his hands would be stained with death anyway. Then you realize why Kaworu deploys his most powerful AT Field during his descent to Heaven’s Door.

This is his reality.

Kaworu’s status as the Angel of Free Will isn’t about him being the only complex angel, as a lot of people think. It’s about being the sole individual handing that freedom to others.

You realize his terrifying dilemma goes to the tune of being feared for his own existence as an angel (which he notes to Shinji) and not being able to properly live.

Sometimes you ”hurt” people by existing.

Sometimes people hate you for the simple act of existing.

Kaworu’s and Rei’s terror is the other end of existential horror, that you can’t help but forced to be known. Sometimes you have knowledge but aren’t allowed to do much with it.

Tier 3: The Body of The Iceberg

X. War Horrors of ‘Ambivalence’

XI. Unit-01 Berserk Scene

XII. Dummy Plugs + CNS

XIII. Kaworu + Adam’s True Power

X. War Horrors of ‘Ambivalence’

Episode 18 is where anxieties graduate into horrors both implied and visceral. Unease hangs over the episode, with the mystery of Unit-04’s disappearance and tests being done on Unit-03. Misato tells Shinji that because tests would be done, there’d be a pilot there. Misato uneasily withholds this info from Shinji and Kensuke breaks the silence with his recurring desire of being a pilot, still ignorant of the war horrors. There’s a subtlety that Shinji picks up on with Toji but not enough to put two and two together: that the big-eater himself isn’t feeling so hot.

The continual chirp of cicadas and birds nor the peel of the school bell are enough to break the unease of the viewer or of Toji. Toji goes from indirectly being affected by war vs angels to being chosen, drafted even, a child at the first line of defense for the apocalypse. We get a flashback of him beating down Shinji, before it cuts back to present day Toji. He will be in Shinji’s shoes.

Toji balls a fist, a recurring theme in Eva, to the tune of “What is your hand for?” Toji is finally  about to take things into his own hands.

Asuka takes a few cracks at Shinji to Hikari that he hasn’t quite gotten the memo, but when Shinji asks her even she’s halted in words.

Then the day comes.

Tests are being done and suddenly Unit-03 goes  rogue with Toji in her (note the Evangelions have the souls of the pilots’ mothers, save for Rei). Unit-03’s’s strange behavior is revealed to be the work of the 13th angel, Bardiel. Shinji’s ignorance is made worse by Misato’s absence (with Misato telling Ritsuko she’d tell Shinji the pilot’s info after the tests). Units 00 through 02 are sent out for the new threat and Shinji sees this new threat. Anxiety rises.

The song “Marking Time Waiting for Death” accentuates the anxiety. Unit-03’s silhouette eerily contrasts with the sun, her body slightly hunched and approaching slowly.

Fear washes over Shinji when he deduces that with an Evangelion inside, there must be a pilot.

Yet he still doesn’t know.

The other pilots are aware, and show reluctance to the revelation. A hijacked Unit-03 sets herself on Asuka, Rei, and even strangling Shinji. Shinji allows the angel-hijacked-being to strangle him, because killing another human being is simply horrific.

 Eva has its hand in the war morals cookie jar here because Shinji stands at a conundrum, to other let this creature take his life or to murder flesh and blood. This dilemma goes double-time in war. Gendo asks why Shinji hasn’t dealt with the 13th yet, with a somewhat horrified Shinji pleading  about the pilot. Gendo commands for the unfinished Dummy System to override Shinji’s controls and then suddenly...silence….

The Dummy Controlled Unit-01 springs back and we’re treated to a close-up of Unit-03/Bardi3l being strangled. 

A nauseating crunch sounds and the unit goes limp. A controlled Unit-01 proceeds to raise hell on the incapacitated enemy, resulting in the unit’s blood and guts flowing through the streets. NERV’s personnel can’t do anything save for become fearful at the Dummy System’s capabilities. Terrible, visceral noises sound one by one as blows strike, as the unit’s severed limbs and blood splatters riddle the urban battlefield. Shinji hears every second, every squelch and splat.

Imagine the pain of 03’s pilot.

But the terrors don’t cease here. 

01 doesn’t stop at just raising hell on the incapacitated 03, and we’re treated to another close-up shot of 01 tightly holding onto 03’s entry plug, before crushing it.

Somewhere away, Misato receives news that Unit-03 has been dispatched as an angel. Shinji feels the weight of having actually killed someone, before Misato actually breaks the news that the pilot is not only alive but that the greatly injured pilot is his classmate.

It never really hit me until now how this scene holds another horrifying subtlety. Compare this to episode 3, where Toji’s first interaction with Shinji involved him punching him, the very scene playing at this episode’s beginning. The 18th episode ends now with ,Toji and Shinji are both joined in the same camp, of children emotionally and physically marred by war, not able to fully control their situations.

XI. Unit-01 Berserk Sequence

Shinji stands in a situation where he can no longer take the terrors aligned with the Evangelion. He’s gone from sustaining injuries great and small from combat with the eldritch angels, to indirectly harming a friend through it. He resigns from his position as a pilot, understandably running away even with the approach of the 14th angel.

After a talk with Kaji about how he can control his future and he only, Shinji once again puts himself at the forefront of further pains. He must once more thrust himself to the terrors that align with the war-machines whilst struggling with other traumas.

During his fight against Zeruel, his Evangelion dies out and it all floods back to him. Shinji once again finds himself at a position of no power, frantically pressing at his controls to no avail.

He can only hear blow after blow of the 14th’s onslaught. He and Unit-01 are at their most vulnerable.

Until Unit-01 springs back.

W hat follows is the famous Berserk sequence, a scene whose terror can be thanks to Evangelion’s low budget.

We see the Evangelion in all her terror and the sort of off-ness that carries in this scene.

Episode 19 has no problems on treating us to front-row tickets to terror.

Unit-01 snatches part of Zeruel’s appendage and adds it to her mass. A sickening squelch sounds and her new appendage contorts into place in an instant. 

She moves over to her incapacitated, angelic meal and doesn’t hesitate to chow down. The shots feel too personal yet nowhere near in the sense of the show’s meta-textual reflections. It’s almost like stumbling on a cryptid and when she shoots a look at the viewer, it feels as if she’s looking at us, like we’ve interrupted her dinner. Or perhaps she did finish the meal... and she’s in the mood for seconds? Perhaps even thirds?

The bizarre and eldritch nature of the Evangelions goes full force with this imagery. Episodes 2 and 16 laid the foundation of how off the Evangelion Unit-01 was with how she openly mutilates her targets. Or even the unsettling roar of Unit-01 that’s not entirely bestial. The sound is straddles a line between the blood-curdling bestial and the human. But here? Eva Unit-01’s position, from her hunched figure, to her more feral position as she feasts, feels far too organic...and far too human.

The Evas themselves aren’t human, but the souls housed within are. Eva’s souls are souls of the respective pilots’ mothers, an example of the mother and child symbolism omnipresent in Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Shinji’s mother is Yui and as we go through the series, we realize the s2 engine appliance was intentional. An s2 engine offers infinite stores of energy and this is needed for Instrumentality. With the s2 engine within her grasp and the fact that Evas don’t subsist on anything, this would make the consumption of 14th completely recreational.

It’s super tempting to frame this scene as containing some abomination that now stands unchained and indiscriminate in its targets, but it isn’t. It’s sort of understandable because Units 00 and 02 don’t come close to exhibiting this sort of behavior nor were they in this circumstance. Neither Unit-00 nor 02  have any desires in regard to Instrumentality. In the end, we should look to Yui and her own endgame, because Yui’s running the show here.

XII. Dummy Plugs + CNS

Ritsuko states the Dummy Plugs are machines which imitate pilot’s thinking. There’s a bit more than the possibility of this being 100% AI due to the apparatus Rei is in.

This very likely implies the respective person’s thought processes added with AI programmed in a way which best “describes” the pilot (basically how they are perceived). In episode 17, Rei is situated in this apparatus strongly resembling the central nervous system, the brain and the spinal cord.

{The central nervous system CNS is responsible for integrating sensory information and responding accordingly. It consists of two main components:

1. The spinal cord serves as a conduit for signals between the brain and the rest of the body. It also controls simple musculoskeletal reflexes without input from the brain.

2. The brain is responsible for integrating most sensory information and coordinating body function, both consciously and unconsciously. Complex functions such as thinking and feeling as well as regulation of homeostasis are attributable to different parts of the brain.

https://mcb.berkeley.edu/courses/mcb135e/central.html

Ritsuko imparts the unsettling revelation about Rei and by extension the Dummy Plant itself (after Misato coerced her into learning about Rei). The Reis are the core of the Dummy Plugs (and the System used to brutalize a hijacked Unit-03 and its trapped pilot). This scene adds more to the extent of Rei’s objectification, of her being replaced. It adds on to Rei III’s comment of being ‘the third.’

Rei isn’t savage by any means but the sheer brutality of Dummy System’d Unit-01 5 episodes prior may hint at her straightforward nature.

I’d like to pitch that Ritsuko’s approach to Rei’s Dummy Data was also the product of her subtle animosity toward Rei. When she refers to the Dummy Plug as a machine which mimics human thinking, she’s talking about Rei. She also refers to her similarly in episode 23 by referring to Rei as spare parts, as if Rei herself is some soulless machine whose parts can be switched out if need be. This could also call back to Rei’s poem, in which she calls herself a vessel which holds human thoughts.

Another question remains: how does Kaworu play into this?

The MPEs (the Mass Production Evangelion series) use Kaworu’s Dummy data, meaning that there are cloned Kaworus stored off somewhere, perhaps floating with soulless smiles the same as Rei has.

Treated as spare parts.

This also implies that Kaworu is more or less reduced to an object.

What’s more disturbing is the nature of the MPEs gratuitous method of ravaging and mutilating Unit-02 and by extension Asuka.

Kaworu hasn’t ever demonstrated any degree of malice, so this can’t really insinuate a ‘Kaworu is secretly evil’ narrative. But this can tie back to a recurring theme of humans fearing and despising angels. It’s because of this that the revelation of our genetically identical nature or the fact that they can comprehend our psychology is framed in-show as kind of shocking. It is because we’re so disturbed at the angels’ existence (or anything else we don’t comprehend) that we view them as inherently savage in nature. Kaworu’s quick-to-perceive personality most likely translated itself along with the AI. This would also rule in the somewhat strategic way in which the MPEs act against Asuka, exploiting her attack patterns through surprise attacks.

Some of Kaworu’s as well as Rei’s Dummy Data are the product of universal (Kaworu) and personal (Rei) contempt by people. Let that sink in.

XIII. Kaworu’s + Adam’s True Power

The bottom of the fridge horror portion of this iceberg is something that has subtly plagued me for years. We’ve only ever caught glimpses of Kaworu’s abilities in his debut episode. I picked up on it little by little with each re-watch of the episode, with every other time his abilities dawning on me. If I wasn’t focusing on how his character fits in the greater framework of Evangelion, I was cluing in on his abilities.

One of his abilities is being able to block out light, magnetism, and subatomic particles. Some of the forces which make up the universe. This witnessed by the viewer when he realizes the whole of humanity’s welfare hangs by a thread, due to the coexistence of angels and Adam.

Adam.

Adam’s soul lies within Kaworu. Adam. Who utilized an Anti-AT Field which caused Second Impact. An Anti-AT Field, which killed off much of the Katsuragi Crew in Antarctica.

This makes Kaworu the most powerful angel in the original Evangelion series.

Eva has shown that ownership of an angel’s soul (or partially, if you’re onboard the Rei I is in Unit-00 theory) allows the person to inherit the angel’s abilities through Rei. Rei blocks off Kaworu’s immensely powerful field with one of her own, canceling out both as a result. As we know, AT Fields for people are a figurative affair. People lack the physiology to exhibit a physical AT Field because they don’t have cores like angels do. Angels’ souls when possessed by humans have a sort of ability to circumvent parts of human physiology (if you’re looking for the whole package, you should eat angel’s flesh too). Rei also shows the ability to float, implied in episode 24 and shown explicitly in End of Evangelion.

But this raises a few questions about the last messenger is the ability to block out some of the forces of the universe Adam’s powers or Kaworu’s? Another ability that continues to plague me the more I think about it is Kaworu’s AT-Field usage on Heaven’s Door to bypass its lock.

We haven’t actually seen Adam’s other powers (if the angel has any) because the it’s anti-AT Field was halted via Lance of Longinus. Other than its ethereal appearance in flashbacks, we only see an incapacitated Adam in embryonic form. That’s it. We don’t know if Adam exhibits any other powers due to this impediment. If Adam does have more powers, this would add onto both the fridge horror factor of Adam and Kaworu.

Tier 4: Pre-Abyss

XIV. The “Nihilist” Lens

XV. The True Nature of Sync Rates

XVI. Unit 01+ MPE Gorging Scenes

XVII. Ancient Ruins of Arka

XIV. The “Nihilist” Lens

There’s something that implicates the whole cast. Something that goes beyond the meaning of the AT-Field, and the all-too-known Hedgehog’s Dilemma.

Eva is filled to the very brim with psychological concepts, but there’s one thing which ties this all together. It goes much larger than the desire to become validated or cycles of abuse and unresolved issues to a newer generation.

Free Will Vs. Determinism ties the entire cast together and is disturbing in its own right. It not only ties the cast together but also contributes to Eva’s meta-narrative.

Episode 16’s sequence with Leliel, Shinji, and the Johari Window gives little breadcrumbs to this psychological dilemma.  Leliel teaches Shinji about his own identity as well as slowly ushering him to a sense of self-awareness. Leliel also attempts to usher Shinji out of filtering reality with only convenient parts. Shinji argues that he can’t really be held culpable for his actions, because the one and only reality is that reality is awful, bar none. Not his reality, but reality as a whole. This deterministic stance becomes ever more blatant 8 episodes later with the appearance of Nagisa Kaworu.

Kaworu’s designation is the angel of free will. The irony of this stands in the fact that Kaworu isn’t the only angel who can exhibit free will (with some of the angels before him taking the time to try comprehending people). Kaworu’s status comes from his identity as the last messenger, bringing about freedom for one species (humans/lilin or angels) at the expense of the other. Kaworu knows his reality well and in the end, seeks to better the reality of those around him. Eva doesn’t romanticize the prospect of free will, however, because Kaworu is so aware of his own person and how he can hurt those around him that it greatly bothers him.

The metatext doesn’t just position Shinji as being in the wrong, but also the audience. Remember the point I made before about Shinji being the audience substitute? It’s further hammered home from the series’ tail end and into End of Evangelion.

“That’s just the way things are.” is a common response to things in life we feel resigned on changing, because we don’t know how to change them. This quote is a parallel to Shinji’s “humans aren’t made to float!” in episode 16.

Shinji does know how to change much of his reality, but by doing so he’d be pushed into free will. Free Will is the solution and it means holding yourself accountable rather than believe that it’s everyone else with the problem. With the idea that you can change your reality, it offers you the opportunity to love yourself.

If you love yourself, then it becomes much easier to love others.

Eva’s free will and determinism metatext hammers home the extension of empathy.

Shinji/the viewer’s greatest problem is that because we don’t love ourselves it makes it difficult to extend the love to everyone else. Shinji’s love translates as idealism. Because of his unhealthy idealism, he is hindered from understanding people.

By ascribing your beliefs from determinism to free will, it opens your mind to an entire world of possibilities, but therein lies the terror. It is because of these possibilities that Shinji and by extension, the viewer, likely fears free will. Shinji finds ways make himself validated, but with free will, the argument could be made that it doesn’t matter. There’s the anxiety-crippling likelihood that none of it actually matters, because your existence doesn’t matter. If we’re going on this bent, acts of making an adequate impression on others are acts of personal denial. In the end, these are what they are, possibilities.

The greatest terror of it all is that we don’t know.

User power-chords makes an excellent point about the inherent darkness of an internal locus of control.

User power-chords posits the idea of existential absurdity for Shinji not as a certainty but a possibility. There’s always a likelihood that our desires to comprehend the world around us, to find ultimate understanding are in vain.

Cheesy as it sounds, people fear ambiguity because we seek a satisfying end. We don’t just seek answers. We want outside closure and inner peace, but we won’t always get it. It’s why we rationalize relationships that end on bad notes. Sometimes you worry about your falling-outs...and it hurts. You never got the answers your wanted so this pain carries, for months, sometimes even for years. Dwelling on the issue serves no purpose other than to keep that hurt with you. The best thing to do sometimes is to find your own closure, your own meaning.

No, Evangelion isn’t actually pro-nihilism, but it presents us with that likelihood. That’s what makes this aspect of the narrative so terrifying: The consideration that we find meaning in the meaningless.

XV. The True Nature of Sync Rates

The nature of injuries and having them in adds onto the innate horror --be it war or otherwise-- and themes of the Evangelion. The severity of the injury is based on how high the pilot’s sync ratio is. An average rate while sustaining damage will bring hurt to the actual pilot in the respective spot. Some examples:

Sachiel makes multiple headblows to Unit-01 and Shinji in episode 2, causing head trauma.

Ramiel’s, (5th angel), particle beam attack in episode 6, an attack so severe that Shinji needed medical care.

Unit-00 and Rei being infected by a Bardiel hijacked Unit-03 in episode 18. Toji’s condition in episode 18 stands as a large example of the innately disturbing nature of sustained injuries.

Toji’s condition becomes all the more nauseating when you see Evangelion parts and blood flow through Tokyo-3.

Toji could feel every last second of strangulation, body blow, and feel the unspeakable pain of his arm being severed.  Let that sink in.

Asuka receives the worst of these considering the nature of her sync rate being high. The higher the rate the more kept the damage is. The circumstances behind Asuka getting the worst of it goes back to the AT-Field. Asuka understood the meaning of the AT-Field, that the more you open yourself up to others, the more hurt you become. The realization dawns on Asuka as her mother from within the Evangelion shields her from the onslaught of JSSDF troops.

It’s then that Asuka finally comprehends what the Absolute Terror Field is. Despite her emotional needs being neglected, realizing she’s set up to fail, and going comatose she still goes on.

Asuka, despite everything, takes a chance and opens her heart knowing the double-edged nature of the AT Field. What happens next?

Asuka took a chance.

She opened her heart...

...and she got hurt all because she opened herself.

XVI. Unit 01+MPE Gorging Sequences

The brutality of both Unit-01 and the Mass Production Evas holds three layers: of visual horror, implied horror, and thematic horror. Unit-01, after taking Zeruel’s s2 engine into herself, proceeds to then brutalize the 14th angel by way of still gorging on it. The feeding was entirely recreational considering Evangelions don’t subsist on food to function. This was more about the sheer act of brutality for brutality’ sake.

The Mass Production Evas also fall under this category, the way in which they deal with Asuka after incapacitating her with a replicated Lance of Longinus is also sadistic and gratuitous. They also proceed to gorge on Asuka, her fate made worse through the simple fact that her sync rate is heightened.

The MPEs don’t even swiftly finish her off.  She is in a state of tremendous and unimaginable pain. They fly above her slowly, circling above her mangled Eva.

They are almost mocking her as she can do nothing, save for writhe. Asuka’s seething, repeated “I’ll kill you...I’ll kill you….” is then silenced by the MPEs spearing her down.

The brutality doesn’t end there, as we see much darker implications of the damage sustained toward the end of the first half of End of Evangelion.

Shinji bears witness to the implications after seeing the decimated remains of Unit-02 being carried off by some of the Mass Production Units. The sickening reality of it all dawns on him and he is once more exposed to the woes of war and the nightmarish aspect tied of the Evangelions.

XVII. Ancient Ruins of Arqa

We’re ending the pre-abyssal end of the iceberg with Evangelion’s original proposal.

Eva’s proposal, a far cry to the show today, had a more sci-fi angle to it. Psychological concepts weren’t exactly pitched nor was it self-aware. The angels weren’t even referred to as the angels, but as the Apostolos. Instead of the 18 we were presented with in the original show and the movies, there were 28 Apostolos.

The Apostolos designs stand as testament to how far of a departure the proposal was to the final cut. They look far more menacing than the more amorphous, much softer defined, beady-eyed angels we’re used to. To top it all off, the Apostolos were the de facto villains of Evangelion’s prototype pitch. The Apostolos in the Proposal, toward the end, proceed their onslaught as a group rather than the series’ one by one. Toward the series’ end, the 12 strongest Apostolos begin their assault on North America, annihilating the continent in its entirety.

Only 12 of the creatures laid waste to a singular continent.

Episode 24: "Now, the Promised Time"

Rei breaks down. Her secrets are revealed. At last awakened, the twelve strongest Apostolos descend from the Moon. Both Eva Unit-06 and the American continent vanish completely. Humans acknowledge their helplessness in the face of the Apostolos' crushing power. The promised time, when people will return to nothing, approaches. A human drama in the depths of despair.

Episode 25: "Arqa, the Promised Land"

The laboratory holds the ancient ruins of Arqa, which have become key. In order to stop the twelve Apostolos, the United Nations' head members annul the Human Instrumentality Project and resolve to destroy the Apostolos. Shinji's father objects. Shinji and the others stay at the laboratory for Rei. A drama of people conflicting over incongruous objectives.

https://wiki.evageeks.org/Resources:Neon_Genesis_Evangelion_Proposal_(Translation)

The aforesaid creatures were so powerful in the original pitch that Human Instrumentality and the ancient ruins of Arqa would be the way of stopping the onslaught.

Tier 5: The Abyss

XVIII. Split Second Misato Death

XIX. Humans Are The Villains in Eva

XX. The Ultimate Paradox

XVIII. Split Second Misato Death

As the last and most explicit aspect of original Evangelion, it would only make sense that EoE specific content would take its place in Tier 5. End of Evangelion is a 90 + minute tour de force with disturbing imagery back-to-back. Split Second Misato Death refers to one of the most unsettling images sprinkled all throughout the movie. Here are a few of the many examples of EoE’s building up on Evangelion’s ugliest parts.

Everyone cites the infamous hospital scene not even 5 minutes into the film as the first proof, but user power-chords has pointed out, Shinji has actually attempted suicide (refer to the ‘Free Will v. Determinism’ part of the iceberg.)

After Misato is mortally wounded and sends Shinji off in an elevator not long after, the JSSDF blow up that part of NERV. A few people have pointed out the most disturbing facet of this scene: through freeze-framing that you can actually see Misato’s body during.

The JSSDF scene partway through End of Evangelion in which NERV personnel are summarily annihilated.

For those missing the small detail of Shinji’s attempted suicide ,Shinji’s depressed state is made more clear when the JSSDF locate him. When they do they attempt to kill him execution style. Shinji doesn’t move.

“I don’t want to die…!” during the JSSDF’s assault, Asuka is awoken from comatose state. She is protected by her mother via an AT-Field by Unit-02. She gains back her self-preservation after this realization, and multitude of images play. One of them is an extremely gruesome close-up of Asuka’s face. (extreme body horror warning, proceed with caution)

The Komm Susser Tod scene beginning with Shinji strangling Asuka in harsh coloring, Naoko’s same action toward Rei plays right after. A few disturbing child drawings follow after, predominantly featuring death. (seizure warning, body horror warning)

End of Evangelion’s flooring nature comes from the fact that it builds up on the subtly horrific and makes these terrors explicit. Whatever existed beyond closed doors becomes now available for us to see,

XVIII. Humans Are The Villains in Eva

At the penultimate point of the abyss lies a horror as old as much of time. Of the humane being more disgusting than the monsters.

That we can be monstrous.

This fact becomes known with the appearance of the JSSDF as dispatched by SEELE, methodically mowing down NERV personnel with little to no weaponry of their own. We’re treated to NERV’s personnel in their hallways, some forced with the moral dilemma of leaving their own to die while surviving or helping their own while both end up being gunned down. 

It becomes apparent that SEELE has been gradually, intentionally chipping away at NERV’s Defense Budget, getting rid of the (little) competition they have after the defeat of the Last Messenger.

There’s a degree of contempt and casual sadism that comes with how they kill the personnel. In one instance, a NERV worker surrenders to the JSSDF, before being killed off in execution style in the distance (one headshot plus two extra shots for good measure).

When you look back at it, this sort of sheer, unabashed brutality wasn’t felt about the angels. Human attitude about the angels is largely fearing, anxious. This attitude accentuated itself through a sometimes nervous soundscape. Of observing these weird, ghastly creatures as they creep and swim. And the feeling’s mutual. The problem is that we don’t know.

But here? We do know.

When the JSSDF move in, the anxiety of angels graduates to the full-force dread of creatures that have killed before. The greatest enemy to humanity has always been with them all along, forcing them to a catch-22. The dread falls on Maya because she understands this perfectly. NERV has only ever shot at targets rather than living flesh…

...and SEELE knows this.

SEELE’s slow, but sure suppression of NERV’s budget is kicking a man while he’s down, but the man in question is a child instead. The JSSDF have more than enough firepower, calling it overkill goes beyond an understatement.

The JSSDF demonstrate the lack of remorse further with the discovery of Third Child, Shinji Ikari. One of the members presses the barrel to Shinji’s head before Misato steps in and kills the members.

The JSSDF isn’t the only damning evidence of how ugly members of humanity can be, however.

Humanity’s on-occasion grossness shows itself in small ways throughout the series, in dislike and conscious emotional distance for individuals, or beliefs of the angels being unintelligent and/or savage. Other times it manifests fiscally, in orchestrating more ethical approaches to stopping certain destruction to go seemingly haywire in order for NERV to receive more funding. This all due to a rival company of NERV challenging the very idea for its usage of child soldiers.

The worst of this damning fact is that many of the morally repugnant members exist on a higher echelon of society. There are Gendos running around, doing as they so please and they’re the tip of their echelon iceberg.

XIX. The Ultimate Paradox of Evangelion

“Anywhere can be paradise as long as you have the will to live.”

We’re treated to these words as Shinji finds himself on shores surrounded by an isolate hellscape, with Asuka next to him. The strange and altogether horrific nature of End of Evangelion has gotten fans  believing on End of Evangelion’s endgame was in certain, nihilistic. But Eva dipping its hand in the likelihood of meaning in the existentially meaningless isn’t even the ultimate terror of Eva’s self-aware universe, nor is it the tendency for man to become contemptible towards itself.

Evangelion greatest terror is the paradoxical nature of free will.

Yui’s words to her son as she drifts off into the ever-expanding cosmos, her status as a deity realized, is that paradise is universal. EoE assumes this unconventionally positive approach to a whole series worth of characters’ woes. The issue is: finding paradise is ultimately conditional.

Free Will’s paradoxical nature is what gives credence to the ongoing Free Will vs. Determinism dilemma. People can use their free will to take away yours entirely and this is most evident with Rei. Her existence is the result of a man’s unhealthy attachment to his wife, her lack of self-preservation the result of being conditioned as a multi-purpose vessel; her desire to merge with Lilith to become an omnipresent mother-figure was not hers. The nature of disallowing free will exists on a spectrum, as people can use their free will not to take away the whole of others’ freedoms, but to disallow them proper emotional growth. The adults around Asuka weren’t around for her during the series, leading to her eventual downfall.

Unit-01, throughout much of the second part of EoE holds the power to give or deny people’s physicality due to her status of having both Fruits of Life (the s2 engine held by angels) and Wisdom (from the Lance of Longinus merged with the Eva earlier on). This gives Unit-01 her deity status and while within Lilith-Rei, Shinji realizes that not everyone would be there in his life, that he can’t be in the center of others’ lives. It’s for that reason why he denies people’s physicality (“They can all just die.”), which turns people into LCL.

Shinji gives allows people the ability to come back from Instrumentality after realization arises that without other people, there’s no way to tell if Shinji, himself exists or not. Kaworu and Rei also give him the reality that with people back, pain will become an inevitability once more. With all the souls gathered by Lilith-Rei, they are released after her death.

With the souls of those cast into Instrumentality dispersed, those turned into LCL now hold the ability to come back from Instrumentality if they so choose.

While the idea of anywhere being paradise rings true, it’s not entirely satisfying to say that EoE is unconventional in its uplifting message to the viewer. Evangelion is at its core a cautionary tale. It warns the viewer into extensions of empathy and openness that others would properly live. This goes double for those with power. Without that compassion, we’ll have Asukas, Misatos, Ristukos, as well as Reis, those in the world whose downfalls come from emotional absences, neglect, objectification, and forced baggage. We would have Shinjis, those wanting to be at the nexus of others’ importance because they were deprived while young.

Kindness is a powerful thing and the lack of compassion present in all of Eva implicates most everyone. It leads to yet more abusive cycles, with the only thing breaking that cycle being a hand for those in need.

XX. Conclusion

What more can be said over this juggernaut which is a host to a bevvy of darkness? Evangelion is testament that anxieties and horror don’t need to start out as blatantly shocking or visceral to make an impact years down the line. They also don’t need to be out in the open to initially hook you either. You pick up on a few anxieties as well as horrors and you realize deep down, there must be more, which drives many of us to engage in this often times unabashedly dark source material.

Some of us are doing it later in the throes of adolescences, others are doing so well into their 20s, possibly dipping into their 30s. Point is, it draws in a lot of us and for a lot of us, it doesn’t ever let go.

Some of its charm could be chalked to the visceral ways in which characters interact. Even after years of re-watches, I’m still learning new things about the child soldiers, and I’m quite sure there’s others finding small details. There’s also the possibility of Eva’s approach to terror. I think Evangelion “humanized” its horror. It didn’t make horror a universally human feeling, but made it so that the true big bads looking to cause apocalypse weren’t actually the eldritch. Many of the angels are more or less lost kids looking for their mother (I still think Ramiel’s “singing” in episode 5 was it calling for its mother!).

With those newer details after 20+ years, there will be more added to the iceberg. Hell, there should be more added to the iceberg. This iceberg is the tip of an even greater iceberg. I’m still learning about their adults and their desires as well, how cyclical their actions are. For others, the draw-in factor lies in its low budget. Personally, it’s all of these for me: the low budget helped cement these darker aspects of the series due to horror and the genre’s overall relationship with limitation. It works best on limitation and had Eva worked with a much higher budget, I don’t think the content would be as effective, or perhaps it’d be much more difficult to make it so.

Evangelion is such a well-done, deceptively compact series that each lens a fan assumes has its own interesting rabbit hole. Your circumstance shapes the experience, and this too involves how you navigate the series’ menagerie of terrors.

I’d also like to thank the reader for getting through the largest rabbit hole in Evangelion. I’d also like to thank you for getting through the whole of this meta from a fan who slowly began to resonate with the characters as the years went on!

[moxiebustion]

I agree that there's a huge dissonance when it comes to understanding and explaining Padme as a character, because you're right; she is massively, bewilderingly underwritten. She becomes, like a lot of women written by men who aren't so good at writing women, more of a living representative of an idea in the text than a fully formed character. Padme, as she is written, is the Ideal Of Democracy and, weirdly, the angel sitting on Anakin's shoulder to match up with the devil (Palpatine) sitting on his other one.

The metaphor isn't a perfect one - she shares the role of Anakin's conscience made manifest with Obi-Wan, for one thing - but the text does *literally* refer to her as an angel and that's kind of the box she gets stuck in. Angels are only messengers to actual characters in the play. Up until, say, Good Omens, they rarely got to be characters in their own right. The shallow depths to which her character was allowed to travel becomes particularly damning when you do compare her to her light side counterpart, Obi-Wan. They both serve the role of urging Anakin to live up to his best self, but Obi-Wan was clearly give the chance to demonstrate a rich inner life which was completely separate from Anakin, whereas as Padme, on the other hand, never gets to demonstrate anything like that at all. They never shine the spotlight on the narrative of her life outside of anything that isn't Anakin or Anakin-related. At least, not in any way that deepens or gives nuance to her character. As you said, that's why it doesn't matter, in a sense, how she reacts to the Tusken Massacre. She isn't *meant* to react to the Tusken Massacre. Her role is to react to Anakin's pain and guilt. And the narrative is setting her up for romance, so of course her reaction to him his sympathy and compassion.

Natalie Portman did her best, but there really is just nowhere for this character to go, no nuance to explore. She is the Angel. She is the Unconditional Force of Love that, essentially, is there to take the place of the Mother-Love that Anakin is so fixated on grieving and searching for. She stands on a pedestal in the narrative, bathed in light, an ideal that can never be tarnished nor reached. She's not meant to have any complex opinions on the moral spectrum of the world she inhabits. She's not, in short, a character. She's a force, an idea. There isn't any action she can take that can conflict with her character, because she isn't really meant to be one; the writers might protest this accusation, but that's the brutal truth of it once you boil off all the halfhearted attempts to show her as a Strong Female Lead. She started strong, but then the narrative rust set in until there was nothing left of the girl-queen we saw in TPM by the time we get to the end.

But that can be pretty unsatisfying to an audience, so we're stuck trying to find some nuance and depth for her with whatever fanon explanations can backfill all the holes in her plotline.

@antianakin did an excellent re-interpretation of the post-Massacre scene in this post where they point out that her somewhat jarring choice to dismiss the horror of what Anakin has done, in direct conflict with the character she was supposedly set up to be, might be rooted in trauma that she has never really unpacked.

And honestly, it's the only explanation for the decision that might actually give Padme a solid reason for her decisions in that moment that was something other than 'the boy I love is hurt so that's the only thing that can ever and will ever matter because that's how girl's brains work'. Like, it builds a kind of bridge between what she's set up to be and the person we never really got to explore.

Like the fact that Padme, at a very young age, was forced to witness her planet get invaded, was forced to flee for her life, had literal assassins on her tail, then had to face death by a thousand tiny bureaucratic cuts with a Senate that won't live up to their promises, then she has to stab a friend in the back just to get anywhere, and then she has to go back home and deal with the mess herself ANYWAY, which includes a covert infiltration and an actual pitched fight on her doorstep.

And yeah, she won. But that's still a lot of trauma for a fourteen year old, even one as manifestly talented and driven as she was. And furthermore, after the medal ceremonies and parades (and pyres) are all over and done with, she still has a hell of a mess to clean up, looters and collaborators to find, reparations to seek, committees to no doubt explain her actions to, etc, etc, and so on.

I can see her being devastated about what has happened. I can see her feeling guilty about fleeing, especially if her detractors rub it in. I can definitely see her being angry that she couldn't get justice, not any real justice, for what happened. Oh, she got her treaty and whatnot, but Nute Gunray and all his little corporate cronies never saw a day in jail. They were still walking under the free man's sky even a decade later, still stirring up trouble and still wealthy as bantha shit. She had him at the end of a blaster and oh, some tiny part of her must have regretted not pulling that trigger, even if she knows it wouldn't have solved anything. Feelings are never rational.

It would make sense, if Padme is a character and not, like, an ideal, that there was a small, treacherous flame of rage at that injustice. But it's buried deep inside, because she's always been a public figure and could never let that ugly little bit of herself show. She is never really free to just let go and give in to it. It would make sense that, despite being horrified at what Anakin has done, which The Good Angel and Moral Conscience role she's been boxed into demands, a part of her really, really envies him.

He did the thing. He did the thing some awful, horrible, but nonetheless extant part of her wishes she could have done, and that was wipe away her enemies for good. To get a justice that felt like justice, not just a piece of paper and some applause from the masses.

Of course, if she lets herself examine that impulse she'd know that what she really wanted was vengeance, not justice, but she can't examine it, can't dig that little shadow inside of her up and show it to the light of day. She can't stand the thought of everyone knowing their perfect queen and popular senator has this gnawing darkness inside of her, that they'll say all the good she's done is just a facade. She's the Angel in her own mind, in the same way Anakin is the Hero in his. They are beyond such base things as internal flaws - they have to be. They have to be the image other people see.

But... here is Anakin Skywalker, crying in front of her. Not the hot-headed Jedi Knight. Not the awkward, hopeless suitor. This is the Real Anakin Skywalker, warts and all and... and his warts look a lot like her warts. How can she condemn him for the darkness inside of him? It's almost a mirror image of hers. The only difference is he had the will to act on it. The end result is horror and suffering, she knows this. But in forgiving him, in reaching for him instead of turning away, maybe she can forgive herself for her own darkness. Maybe she can have someone who sees all of her and won't condemn her for it, either.

Maybe this means her own darkness isn't the great sin and flaw she always secretly castigated herself for. Maybe if she can help him with this, then it means there's nothing really wrong with her like she feared there might be.

If she was treated as an actual character in the narrative, and not something that was locked up inside a glass display case under a dust sheet until Anakin's plotline needed her for something, then this would have made perfect sense. Their relationship was doomed because of their own internal traumas and flaws; not just because they loved each other to the exclusion of everything else, but because of the darkness inside BOTH of them that neither of them was willing to admit to.

It sure is a lot more interesting than the sexist, tired, badly written "her mouth is saying no but her eyes are saying yes" thing that the actual movies had going on, that's for damn sure.

I'm finding my views on Satine Kryze to be really following my views on Padme these days, which seems appropriate given that Satine has always felt like a knock-off Padme anyway and her entire existence is intended to help parallel Padme and Anakin's relationship.

But I really hated Satine when I first watched TCW a few years ago. I couldn't stand the way she treated Obi-Wan, I felt like the entire romance was pretty shoe-horned and ham-fisted and full of a lot of romance tropes between hetero couples that I'm not fond of. And I also interpreted the explanation we get about Mandalore's current peace and what had to be done to make it that way as... not great and kind-of a cultural extermination of some kind.

Since then I've followed a number of people who happen to love and defend Satine and her political choices, read through their metas about why the warriors being exiled to Concordia was a reasonable choice to make at the time. I've also read a few posts that still condemn that choice the way I did initially.

And while I think the INTENTION of the writing here was that this was a reasonable choice for Satine to make, that she was exiling the people who refused to be peaceful and practice their culture without trying to start a war all over again, the way it's said and written does NOT feel like that. At least, not to all of us.

For one, the usage of the term "warriors" in the line. They say they exiled "all the warriors" to a nearby moon. They don't say "we exiled everyone who refused to stop fighting and killing for a war that had already stopped" or "we exiled Death Watch who were a well-known terrorist group" or anything like that. They JUST say "warriors" which does feel vague enough as a description to feel like she is exiling literally everyone who happens to be someone who knows how to fight and has based their culture around being warriors, regardless of whether they were a problem or not. It also then feels hypocritical of her to have done so when she very clearly has guards who can fight on her behalf, so either she didn't exile ALL of the warriors or she managed to get a few people she decided to give exceptions to in order to learn how to protect her.

And because of this vagueness, the natural assumption to make from there is that Satine has basically forbidden everything that WENT ALONG with warrior culture: wearing armor, using weapons, learning how to fight, etc. Everything that we've been told via other media is VERY IMPORTANT to Mandalorian culture. I think we can reasonably decide that this was... PROBABLY not true, there's no canon evidence for this being true that I can recall. She never SAYS anything about forbidding armor or learning how to fight and only forbids OUTSIDERS from carrying weapons. She herself personally refuses to use lethal weapons and doesn't appear to wear any armor ever, but I don't think there's any mention of her not allowing other people to do so. Obviously her guards do in fact wear armor and carry weapons. She doesn't even condemn Padme for picking up a blaster to help fight off some smugglers at one point, despite that theoretically going against the rule of no outsiders carrying/using weapons.

Satine ALSO seems to be someone who does, to some degree, take a lot of pride in Mandalorian culture and traditions. She says as much when Padme shows up. So in some ways, it doesn't make sense that she'd entirely eliminate a portion of that culture so long as those who practiced it weren't using it to actively hurt other people.

That being said, Satine is someone who is... particularly implacable in her beliefs. We see this MOST clearly with Obi-Wan and the way Satine discusses the Jedi and the war with him and the way she condemns his entire people for fighting in the war at all, despite all of the obvious reasons TO fight the war that we have as the audience. It's never made canon in the show itself, but we also know from Lucas's interviews that the Jedi didn't even have a CHOICE about whether to join the war as Generals or not, they got drafted. But Satine appears unwilling to listen to Obi-Wan's reasoning, to hear him out on why they're working to protect people, to re-evaluate her personal definition of "peacekeepers" for someone else's culture. She never budges on this particular issue, not once. She and Obi-Wan basically just stop discussing it at some point.

So with that in mind, it does feel in character that Satine could be so insistent on keeping a war from happening that she could exile everyone who refused to stop practicing warrior traditions, regardless of whether they were hurting someone else or not. Especially if she was a young traumatized teenager at the time, reacting to a civil war that kept her on the run for a year and appears to have done a lot of damage to the planet.

And then we come to the part where they tell us that EVERYBODY who had been exiled had died out. Everyone. Within a span of TWENTY YEARS, which is not that long of a time. Which calls into question certain things like whether the people who were exiled were allowed to LEAVE it in order to find a place to live that accepted them so long as it wasn't within Mandalorian space. Were they allowed to make contact with other people to bring them resources and supplies or not. If they had just said "everybody left the moon and we assume they have since found refuge elsewhere" that would be different. But they all are supposedly DEAD, which to me speaks of a more concerted effort to not allow those people to leave and an equal effort not to take care of them. While it's entirely probable that this report was a LIE given by Pre Viszla and all of those people have simply now joined Pre's Death Watch, neither Satine nor anyone in her government appears to feel all that upset about it. It's not a tragedy that no one was able to stop in time, a dark spot upon their history and Satine's leadership that she acknowledges.

And that feels particularly condemning to me.

But the problem is that I don't think we're intended to see it that way. I don't think it was intentionally written as something the audience would actually condemn Satine for.

Which means that this is where we hit upon the Padme Problem. Which is when they care so little about their female characters that the nuances that are implied by the dialogue and writing are glossed over to the point that the character ends up seeming more of a terrible person than they were intended to be. Padme's brushing off of Anakin's massacre of the Tuskens makes her seem like a racist whose grand values suddenly don't exist, solely because Padme's motivations aren't the ones that matter in this scene and nobody cared enough about her when writing this to realize exactly how it would come off to an audience. With Satine, it's the unfortunate usage of the vague term "warriors" and the fact that they all died combined with her implacable attitude towards Obi-Wan and the Jedi which is a result of them using bad romcom tropes of the time for that relationship. All of which leads to Satine feeling like a tyrant who advocates for cultural extermination, because it's the only way some of these inconsistencies make any sense sometimes.

Which is too bad, because Satine perhaps COULD'VE been a better written character, could've been more interesting as one of the few characters in Star Wars who is actively advocating for pacifism and looking at how that fits into the world around her. But she just... isn't a better written character. Not unlike Padme. Or her sister.

[oh-my-moomin]

NGE: You Deserve Love

This is an analysis based solely on the og NGE anime series and not the movie or rebirth series so I won’t be mentioning those.

NGE is a psychological horror/apocalypse story dressed up as a mecha. This farce is only totally dropped in the last 2, even 3 episodes. This can make the ending jarring and seem in cohesive, but ultimately my understanding is that none of the ‘plot’ really matters. Seele doesn’t matter, where the angels come from doesn’t really matter, and the final battle doesn’t matter. This is a story exploring loss, the need for connection, loneliness, and humanity. We see this through not only the interactions of the human characters but also through the angels.

THE HUMANS

The Children

A defining trait of all the characters is that they are lonely. The isolation from human connection is brought on both by the high stress apocalypse they all live in, as well as the personal demons they face. The characters all attempt to create bonds with other people, but are held back by their insecurities, fear of vulnerability, and past traumas.

Let’s start with Shinji, as the main character. Having lost his mother at a young age, and being abandoned by this father, he was never able to feel secure. Therefore he takes on a people pleaser attitude, constantly apologizing. His want for validation (particularly from adults in his life) causes him to continue to take action that he doesn't want to, including piloting the EVA. His self hate and insecurity makes it hard for him to make and trust his own choices. So he relies on others to guide him. When this fails, when he doesn't get the love and validation he craves he tries to quite entirely. But this often leads to the people he cares about being hurt. He's trapped between a rock and hard place.

Asuka was also abandoned, however rather than craving support like Shinji, she chooses to live for herself. She craves independence. She needs to know that she is no longer a child that can be hurt and vulnerable. This is largely shown through both her overt sexuality, and her piloting the EVA. She must be in control of the EVA, she must have power, she must be able to prove herself as the best, the strongest. Because inside she still feels like that hurt desperate child, and that is what she hates most about herself. Unlike Shinji, Asuka is brash and rude, and she expects others to give her the same. She barks and expects you to bark back, but can’t always handle it. 

Both of these characters are constantly looking for connection, with both their peers and adults. While Asuka often pushes herself on to people, out of a need to be seen. Shinji cannot take active moves to make meaningful connections, and will shy away from people trying to connect. Asuka hates herself and needs to prove that others love her. Shinji hates himself and cannot imagine that people love him. 

The Adults

One of the running themes in the show is motherhood. Typically it is the mother that is expected to love and care for the child, to raise them, show unconditional love, give unwavering support. None of the characters have had this, Shinji and Asuka search for validation that they lost in adults in different ways. Unfortunately for them, none of the adults present are suitable to be parents. 

The show makes a point to show that the adult characters are all more complex than the children. They have lived longer and therefore had more time to make mistakes, to get stuck in toxic ideals, to ‘be problematic’. They are not concretely good or bad people (mostly), but rather the result of people who grew up in a post apocalyptic world, trying desperately to stop the salvage it, while also trying to make their own connections. Like the child characters, their past traumas make it harder for them to be more open, vulnerable, and weak, to form that human connection. 

I am going to focus on Misato and Ritsuko, since they act as foils when it comes to human connection.

Misato being left as a lone survivor to a terrible accident has left her scared both physically and mentally. Before this she had issues with her parents, as her father seemed to abandon his family in favour of work, leaving her mother devastated. Misato doesn't want to become like her mother, abandoned by a loved one, and she also doesn't want to be her father, a slave to work. To counter this she looks for easy connections, but she never wants to get too close.

When her relationship with Kaji was beginning to feel too real, she began to find flaws. His resemblance to her father was terrifying, so she broke it off. Similarly, when in scenes with Shinji, talking about his insecurities or his want to give up, she is hidden by shadow. She cannot be seen as weak, she cannot offer comfort, she cannot be a mother figure to Shinji. Other ways her searching for easy connection is her drinking beer, or eating take out. She searches for the most basic ways to fulfill her needs, so that she can focus on her main goal of defeating the angels. 

Ritsuko is also desperate to find human connection without vulnerability. By fully closing off the whole world she can have no weakness, something which she resents in Misato. She views herself as above the need for connection in that way, and would rather follow in her mothers foot footsteps as a scientist and a woman. 

She loved and admired her mother, and hated her. She wants to follow in her footsteps but also would hate to fail in the same ways. She saw how her mother failed to actually mother her, and chose to completely reject that part of herself. Instead she cares for cats, and uses those as a surrogate to having a child. She continues her mothers work as a scientist, constantly striving to improve. And when it comes to the ‘woman’ that her mother was, she knew a stubborn woman who focused solely on one man. So Ritsuko also focused on him, to the point of giving up her cat to her grandmother. Both women tried to create an easy connection with him, both felt that they were his equal, and that they found the one connection that mattered. When it was proven to them that they were a second (third) woman this caused them both to break down. For Ritsuko this meant that even though she closed off the whole world, except for one man, she was still too vulnerable. And her only response was to completely shut down. Because she had no one else.

All of the characters are constantly searching for this connection, trying to show affection without getting hurt. Trying to make sense of the end of the world while also making sense of interpersonal relationships. Their own inner demons getting in the way of honest connection. 

Rei

As a clone Rei is a particular case. She is aware that she is not a ‘person’, she isnt meant for human connection. Her isolation is so ingrained into her, planned before she is even ‘born’ so she feels no need to care for anyone except Ikari. She latches onto him, would do anything for him, and has no value in her life because she is aware that she is not real. 

However, she still has a human source, Shinjis mother. A human person, who also needed human connection. Rei, when given the chance, does care for people. Shinji is the first person to see her as a peer, and to treat her with kindness. With this start of forming connections, she begins to feel more human, to develop a further need to connect. Even if it's hard to fully separate from the man who created her.

THE ANGELS

The angels act as a foil to the human need for connection. While all of the human characters are lonely and searching for connection with each other, the angels are also lonely and trying to learn what that even means. 

There is no scene where the angels are working together, they are solitary, all having the same goal of reaching Adam, but incapable of planning together to achieve it. They instead try to create connection to humans, trying to bond and understand them, without knowing that their methods are harmful. 

I believe this can be first seen with the 12th angel. When Shinji is absorbed into the EVA, it is safe to say that the angel was able to understand the merging of human and EVA. This connection allowed Shinji to control the EVA to break free of the angel's shadow. The following month where Shinji is trapped within his EVA, is our first insight into what the human instrumentality project will be like, as well as the goals of the angels. 

Since angels cannot connect to each other, the 15th angel attempts to create connection by forcing itself into Asukas mind. It wants to understand her, her emotions, her thoughts, her connections, her love. For her this is a painful experience, akin to rape. She feels dirtied after it. But the attack is a beam of light, with holy music playing, what should be a calming experience. I believe it is fair to say that the angel cannot understand that it is putting her through pain, as it cannot understand any human experiences. Angels are incapable of understanding their own feelings/experiences/wants, and try to use humans as a study from which they can learn. 

The following angel confronts Rei about her loneliness. Instead of breaking into her mind through light, it directly entered her body. While talking with her, it questioned what loneliness was, trying to understand its own pain and isolation through understanding hers. Its solution is to merge with Rei, as it believes this would solve both problems. 

However, when she refuses, the angel then tries to find another source of connection. Rei cares about Shinji, as both a clone of his mother, and a friend as her own person. The angel can see that this connection is something that she finds precious and tries to take it for itself, as it cannot understand why Shinji wouldn’t feel the same. It cannot understand how complex human connections are, that it cannot simply take Reis form. However, it has learned what pain is, and how to communicate its own pain. As seen when Shinji attacks it. Whether this pain is physical or emotional doesn't matter, because it is the first pain that the angel could express.

The angels discovering what loneliness is acts as a way for the human pilots to begin to explore their own isolation in more depth. For better or worse.

THE FINAL MESSENGER

Our introduction to the final angel is him singing. He takes a human form, can fully communicate to other humans, and doesn’t immediately attack them. This is such a contrast to all other angels that it isn't immediately clear that he even is an angel. Kaworu's first words are (as per the netflix english subtitles)

“Arent songs great? Songs enrich the heart. They're the crowning achievement of Lilin culture” 

He loves humans, human culture, human lives, and the human world. He is the first angel who is able to show this. His ability to understand humans allows him to form human connections, and he does so with Shinji. 

Kaworu loved Shinji. He would seek out Shinji, take time to bond and communicate with him, and help Shinji open up. He wanted to be close with Shinji, and knew how to be gentle in ways that no other human or angel could. He was patient, because he had time. And Shinji was able to open up to him more than with any other character. Shinji  was able to take the initiative to ask to stay with him, to try and form that connection.

All the human characters are struggling with their own demons, with an apocalyptic world. The whole earth is at war and Shinji is in the front lines, surrounded by adults who may want to help him but ultimately can't. Saving everyone is a higher priority to saving one kid, especially when that kid is your strongest soldier. Throughout the series Shinji is given conditional love. It is only when he pilots the EVA, defeats the angels and saves the day that people give him validation. Then comes this boy, who is gentle and kind, who listens. And it's easy, its comfort, its understanding and unconditional love, and its exactly what Shinji has needed for the whole series. 

But as a messenger he could never stay, he's temporary and by the end of the episode he understands this. He still is driven to ‘Adam’, he has a mission, but instead he is confronted with Lilith. Kaworu understands that humans and angels cannot live together in harmony, only one can survive. Both Adam and Litlith were made in god's image, but only Adam could stay in the garden of Eden. Death and Life hold equal value to Kaworu, so he doesn't mind the sacrifice, he would rather die to protect humans, to protect Shinji. He can  also understand that this is difficult, this is murder, this is killing a friend. So he says “thank you” and he waits.

In other episodes when in a battle, Shinji is constantly being yelled at, told what to do, under constant pressure. But here there is just the same patient understanding that Kaworu has always shown him. No rush for him to take action, just time to process and grieve. Because Kaworu knows Shinji will make the hard choice and he waits, and he smiles, and he continues to love Shinji. 

The final angel came down as a messenger and said

“You are important. 

I want to talk to you, to know you. 

You are in pain, you are fragile and should be protected. 

You are worthy of my affection. 

I like you. I love you. I was born just so that I could meet you. 

Our kind cannot survive together, one of us must die. And you deserve to live. 

I will take this burden of death because you deserve a future. 

I am glad I could meet you, thank you. 

I know this is hard, and I know you need time. I will wait.

Thank you.”

That was the last message to humanity.

And because Shinji is human he says back

“We are the same. I love you too. If only one of us could have lived it should have been you. You are better than me. You should have survived.”

[peach-astrology]

Neptune in the houses.

Neptune in the first house:

1)Charisma even with the wrong facial features,which blooms especially brightly in the photo.This is the position of the planet had Marilyn Monroe.

2)Falling in love with an unattainable object – a movie actor,a singer,an inaccessible beauty,for example,the one in the mirror:)

3)They have a certain taste that they design on clothing and the interior of the house.I often meet such people with blue or green eyes.

4)They are very friendly and compassionate.They can be the people to talk to and cry to.

5)With bad aspects,a person may have mental illness.

Neptune in the second house:

1)They are prone to reckless spending,they can spend their entire salary on a certain thing that they literally "fell in love"with.

2)With a strong position of the planet and the absence of negative aspects,the native can really achieve success and earn good money in art,chemistry and medicine.

3)Big money can come to them in an unusual or unexpected way.And also mysteriously disappear...

4)When Neptune is affected,people can feel a lot of guilt,even where they were not at fault.

5)I really recommend keeping a money-book.This way your money will be under your guidance.There is no other way to work out this position of the planet.

Neptune in the third house:

1)It is most convenient for such people to learn through pictures and examples from life.They may not count well in their minds,for example.(But you still need to look at Mercury)

2)They can be good writers,bloggers,or singers.

3)Because of problems in the parent family,such a person often lives with one of the relatives.

4)When the planet is hit,a person can be absent-minded,do poorly in school,be very shy and have bad relationships with siblings.

5)With a strong Neptune,a person can be a good teacher(he feels other people when talking)

Neptune in the fourth house:

1)A person has problems with one of the parents who may have liked alcohol or illegal substances.Or he died early.Often,such people may still have a parent who is ill with something,who needed a lot of care.

2)Their parents may have been of different nationalities.Their house often had guests.

3)With bad aspects,a person could run away from home or leave it at an early age.

4)They relax through privacy.During this time,you can draw,meditate,or watch a movie.

5)This position of Neptune is good for social workers who are able to realize their talents for the common good,preferably within a large organization that will give them a lot of clients,colleagues and suitable motivation for their work.

Neptune in the fifth house:

1)Low self-esteem or,conversely,skillful psychological manipulation of others.

2)If the position of the planet is not worked out,a person can turn his head from the beloved.He can idealize his image,add too much romance.

3)By nature,human is a very gentle,kind and merciful person.He has charisma and sex appeal.

4)They could be very troubled children.

5)Pregnant women with this situation should be VERY careful to monitor their health.

Neptune in the sixth house:

1)They may have unusual allergies or just a large number.

2)Their health can directly depend on the cleanliness of the house and their food.

3)They should not rely on others.Not everyone works honestly and correctly.Also PLEASE respect yourself and don't help everyone.

4)The best solution for a native is to work from home or to reach the level of a manager yourself,when you don't have to spend time on routine duties.And in order to build a successful business relationship,it is important to give up the use of alcohol and psychotropic drugs,because such a person gets used to them instantly.

5)With a weak Mars in the natal chart,there is idleness and a desire to frequently change the place of residence.

Neptune in the seventh house:

1)With a harmonious Neptune in the 7th house,the native radiates the energy of love and subconsciously waits for acceptance and sympathy when getting married,moving to a new job and entering a University.

2)When the planet is affected,idealistic expectations turn into broken dreams:it is difficult to join the team,do not accept it as it is,you have to sacrifice your interests.

3)Their partner may suffer from some kind of mental disorder and the person will help to cure it.

4)Such people need to learn to read their feelings and be able to make final decisions.

5)When choosing a job,a person should carefully study the personality of the manager,so as not to experience emotional abuse.

Neptune in the eighth house:

1)You have a very active imagination and a powerful imagination.You may have an interest in the supernatural,psychic phenomena,or the occult.You may have strange fantasies,vague fears of ghosts and death,so it is best not to engage in such things until you are firmly on your feet in the material world.

2)Prone to seeing strange dreams and nightmares.Often suffers from insomnia,may end up in a dream or under anesthesia.

3)Must keep track of the family's finances,their partner may have spent too much money.

4)Their relatives have occult abilities(maybe a human too).

5)Neptune is the most passive planet and sexually it leads to deep and Platonic love.Sex and bodily pleasures are not in the first place for him,the main thing is emotions and tenderness.

Neptune in the ninth house:

1)The karmic task is not to allow yourself to become a "stranger among your own",forgetting about the roots and national traditions,maintaining a balance between the desire for reform and respect for history.

2)He is actively interested in educational programs and social reforms.He likes to study and shows the ability to learn foreign languages,and strives to help people deprived of their freedom.

3)The defeat of the planet creates a danger of ignoring professional training and determines difficulties in communicating with relatives of a partner.

4)Very often such people are very demanding in love.

5)The advice is to deal with your thoughts and ideas.You can't combine incompatible things.Spend more time meditating and being alone to make important decisions.

Neptune in the tenth house:

1)Their work must be creative for career growth.

2)The weak position of the planet provokes intrigues and intrigues of colleagues and strained relations with the boss,and in a strong position,the sharpened intuition of the native will help to get away with it.

3)If their work is normal,they can modify it.For example,such a teacher can teach in an unusual way,and simply differ from others.

4)In a good position a person can give good advice.

5)Your father was a unique person, different from other people, or unpredictable in dealing with you. Perhaps his views were unstable or he was too headstrong, but in any case, he created his own unique life. You may have been separated from it, either literally or figuratively. By interacting with it, you have learned the need to stand firmly on your own two feet, not depend on anyone, and this imprint has formed one of the basic attitudes to life that you will follow as an adult.

Neptune in the eleventh house: 

1)In love,an incorrigible romantic.

2)When Neptune is stricken,it has unreliable friends.They should choose their environment carefully even at work.

3)Even the owner of Neptune in the 11th house often has low self-esteem,is shy to show their talents,hides in the shadow of others.Having a fine mental organization,it is vital for him to learn to punch his way with his elbows,so as not to be trampled by the crowd.

4)You can read people's feelings,but you can't distinguish between friend and foe.Paradox.

5)You are the friendliest of all houses!

Neptune in the twelfth house:

1)Such people often hide their feelings and attachments.

2)Like the sixth house you need to value yourself and your time and not help everyone.

3)There are a lot of talents not only in creativity,but also in other areas of life.

4)They literally feel the money,intuition saves them from bad deals.

5)They like not to respond to messages for a long time,not because of resentment,but simply because they are resting or sleeping ahaha.

[shizukateal]

The Holy Quintet: The BEST DRESSED Magical Girl Team EVER. Part 2: Characters made of symbols and shapes.

Part 1 here.

Mami Tomoe

Mami Tomoe’s outfit is a work of genius that really humbles me as an aspiring character designer. Watching the perfection in its simplicity only boggles my mind trying to reverse engineer the thought process behind it. Even if they already had decided on the huntress theme before they finished her, how did Ume Aoki came up with cutting the sleeves like that? Or with the perfect skirt shape that allows the corset to show all of her curves while puffing at just the right height to not make the hipline transition awkward and giving the shape of a flower? How long did it take her to find this particular color scheme? Did she immediately know where to put the purple to balance the outfit without feeling artificial? How did she realize that the stripes on the socks would add the ideal touch to the whole setup? Or the perfect way to turn the soulgem into a hair accessory? I would have gone the easy way and put it in the chest ribbon like the amateur I am! Did she have doubts about it while she was figuring out the exact design of the boots?!

This outfit does everything. It’s sexy without being unnecessarily tasteless, it’s girly and fancy but battle-ready, it even passes the silhouette test, it’s nuanced, almost realistic. Even Mami’s hairstyle, which in a lesser design would look too childish, is perfect for her. Mami’s whole theme is that she’s a little girl desperately trying to convince herself that she’s an adult. Her low drill-tails are doll-like, which is to say a little girl’s idea of what a fancy adult woman looks like. The side-swept bangs also give a youthful roundness to her face while being elegant, and the way the hat and hairpin complements the whole thing is just * cheff’s kiss *.

Kyouko Sakura

Kyouko is a fire gal, and as such her shape is a triangle, so her outfit is a halter top coat that widens into the frilled overskirt. Her ponytail also feeds into this theme, with hair bits sticking wildly on the top like the fire sparks of a candle, and the ribbon is just scrappy but cute enough to compliment her personality. Haha, ponytail, get it? Like a horse? Or in her case a de-horned unicorn, ergo her spear. Her look also gives us the impression of an outlaw with her pirate/rider boots, long coat and gloves, fitting her lifestyle, and her soulgem is on her chest, indicating her more emotional nature. I think the boldest decision was to leave her hands ungloved, or at least I know I wouldn’t have done that, but that’s why I’m glad I wasn’t in Ume Aoki’s position when Madoka was in production. The white details on her undershirt and boots also put an elegant touch of complexity that completes the whole thing. What I’m trying to say here is that Kyoko has the ““easiest”” design of the other puellas, but it’s still top notch.

Sayaka Miki

Sayaka’s outfit is a balancing act, trying to keep it’s knight aesthetic clear without relying on heavy armor to do so and thus allowing Sayaka’s more romantic, femenine side to show, not to mention her water + music/mermaid theme. Her whole getup is very ingenious. Her short hair allows the cape to flow without seeming excessive and heavy or an inconvenience, her hairpin prevents the cut from being bland, but still keeping a somewhat tomboyish look, and her skirt has a distinct asymmetrical cut that, with its white outline, gives the idea of a wave. Her boots are short, comfy, practical, and their shade is just different enough that they avoid the look from feeling kinda boring within its color pallet, without straying away from it. I’m honestly amazed at how well they pulled of her belly-button soulgem as well, especially without taking away from the knight theme, hell they even used that in their favor! That is ingenuity. It was also a genius idea to hold the cape on a choker to make it all fit better with a sweetheart neckline.

Homura Akemi

As I mentioned before when I talked about Senjougahara, Homura is a rhombus, not just in her soul gem but in the rest of her body: she is pointy, slim, and long. She is the tallest and lankiest amongst the Holy Quintet, her outfit primarily highlighting her legs and her hair ending in jagged points. What impresses me the most about it is that the shirt is very weirdly cut for a concept as straightforward as “school uniform”, but it works. I can imagine a much easier version of it without the undersleeves or the collar. Speaking of which, the shape of them draws attention to her soul gem on her hand, which is placed there to symbolize how she’s the most “hands on” magical girl. Her time motif is present in her back ribbon, which looks like clock hands, same with Moemura’s braids, and in her shield, which is small and attached to her wrist and also is actually a sand clock. That shield is a really neat, concise, and smart way to tie up the entirety of her wish, huh? Speaking of Moemura, it’s really interesting to see the conflict between the two versions of this character in their differences. First we have the hair, of course, then the red glasses. I sense that there’s more to those than what I’m interpreting here, but the best I can do is conclude that aside that Homura tosses them out because they represent her weakness the fact that they’re red means they also represent her emotionality, which Madoka returns to her when she gives her her red ribbons (which also represent the string of fate, of course, and also confidence in oneself). But the part that interests me the most is her heels. Moemura doesn’t fit them, she trips on them constantly, but for Homura they are a symbol of her maturity and composure. Naturally, the first time we see Homura break down after narrowly killing Kyubey before they could do a contract with Madoka, she trips on them.

@leafbladie also pointed out to me that the reason it looks like a school uniform might be because school is the only place where she could make genuine human connections. 

Madoka Kaname

Kyouko is a triangle, Homura is a rhombus, and Madoka is, fittingly, a Star, aka. a cluster of points shooting out from a center, which also blends well as a flower motif. Or to put it even more eloquently, she’s the flower from the ground that will eventually become the star in the sky. It’s in her skirt, gloves, socks and ponytails. And the rest of her? Is a deception in its simplicity. After all, this is what you expect from the leader of a magical girl team, right? Pink! Ribbons! Frills! Come on, you’ve seen this outfit before, it’s practically the same as Cure Peach’s! But Madoka is aiming for something more specific: she is both a fairy AND a witch, the two faces of the Magical Girl, creatures of fairytales often related to either nature or to the stars, and it works precisely because she uses that shape. Madoka is a balance of roundness and pointiness, it’s just that those points are softened by the pastel coloring. Her balance in ribbons and frills is excellent as well. I should probably write a separate post on how those 2 elements work in general, but suffice to say that we all know way too many magical girls that just put those things everywhere. Two on her ponytails to highlight them, one behind her neck, two on her hips to smooth the hipline transition, two behind her shoes. Huh, speaking of those, Madoka has surprisingly tall heels, right? Taller than Mami’s and only matched by Homura’s. Really tells you who the 2 most emotionally resilient members are in the team.

The last piece I’d like to highlight is her weapon, which I’m jealous of because I did that concept for an OC of mine and now if I do it everyone is going to think that I got it from her. But in any case, yeah combining a druidic staff into an also druidic bow whose arrows are also shooting star analogues is the perfect choice for this particular character, the Goddess of Magical Girls.

And this, everyone, has been my reasoning and analysis of the genius of the Holy Quintet’s character designs. Follow me if you want more magical girl outfit analysis.

[iamanartichoke]

Ultimately, Loki and Sylvie were given an impossible choice and can we just talk about how the trade-off was either the universe/multiverse or their own sanity and Loki was willing to sacrifice his for the sake of preventing infinite Kangs from waging war on everyone else?

I mean. If they had taken his place, what kind of life is that? What kind of throne? Locked away in a decrepit old castle, neither living nor dying, not even existing, for the rest of time? Just guarding a timeline they don't believe in anyway bc its very existence means that no one has any free will, bc free will and a single fixed timeline are mutually exclusive?

If they hadn't taken his place, and both were on board with killing him, it's as he said - not only will the multiverse spawn into chaos, but all of the other Kang variants will be free to descend upon timelines and bring war and destruction. It also follows that if there are infinite Kangs, some more evil than others, then there are infinite other villains as well. Are there more Thanos variants that may show up? Along with villaints we haven't even met yet? Plus, the way that the timelines diverged shows them all crossing and colliding and creating this nonsensical tangle of overlapping realities, which is why (I'm assuming) Loki ends up in a TVA that has the wrong Mobius in it (and the chances of finding the right Mobius? Slim to none?).

And, of course, if they'd neither taken his place nor killed him and just left him there in his castle, maintaining the sacred timeline, they'd end up exactly back where they started at the beginning of the series. The TVA would continue to run, people and realities would continue to be erased, free will would continue to be out of anyone's reach.

I'm assuming that Loki realized all of this and that's what he wanted Sylvie to realize, too, when he pleaded with her to just think about this for a minute. Their choice was impossible, but there was only one option that resulted in the least chaos for everyone else, and that was the option Loki wanted to choose. Take Kang's place, thus preventing infinite Kangs, even if it meant sacrificing his own chance at living. I also believe that he would have taken that post himself and let Sylvie go and live a life as she pleased, free from the threat of the TVA, though it would mean he'd be alone in that castle, until the end of time.

It's like the Heimdall joke, about how it always being a nice day for treason, except for Loki it's like, "What a nice, sunny day, smell that fresh air, smells like time to sacrifice myself for the greater good in a way that no one will ever actually recognize or appreciate because despite what everyone else believes, deep down I care about other people more than I could ever care about myself, maybe a swim later would be nice too" like asdhjhdsa.

The only real solution here is to figure out a way to diverge the sacred timeline without allowing the multiverses to overlap. I'm sure if anyone could figure out how to accomplish such a thing, it would be Loki, especially all alone with nothing but time (heh) on his hands. Which would ultimately be the best of both worlds - the existence of free will within separate branches of reality (that can't be crossed or overlapped), plus the prevention of Kang variants (and other villains) wreaking havoc.

^^ I wonder if that's what the goal will be in the MCU as a whole, going forward, though. Figuring out how to separate multiple timelines is one thing; actually accomplishing it is another thing entirely, and would likely require the help of multiple people. Ideally, Loki will show up in Dr. Strange (and Sylvie too, bc they fucking got me in the end - not in a shippy way bc I still don't see it but their stories are connected now and I need closure after that heartbreak fml) and contribute to the solution but, well, ideal and realistic rarely - if ever - coexist where Marvel is concerned.

Anyway, tl;dr Loki is a cinnamon roll, fight me.