#the elongated muskrat (shit)show

[c-h-stevens]

I don't think Elon Musk is very competent but you've got to admit it's impressive how he managed to drive Twitter into the ground. I used to hope someone would buy it for pocket change and make it thrive again, if only to make him seethe, but I don't even know if it's possible to salvage anything at this point.

Unfortunately, breaking things is easier than creating them, and there's no real alternative. The Meta algorithm hates my guts so I can't go anywhere in Threads, and I hate Bluesky's guts so I resent the very idea of posting there.

Actually, I want to rant more about Bluesky. It's nothing more than a limp clone of pre-X Twitter, which would be enough for me to dislike it, because I always disliked Twitter even when it was halfway usable. Bluesky may not have an algorithm that prioritizes angry engagement, but the character limit means I'm forced to always be extremely blunt like I'm talking to dumb babies, because what if someone takes one of my posts* out of context?

What Bluesky reminds me of is this article about branding. It has some good advice, such as this:

Many spaces with two major players fall into a “better” trap. Box’s brand is a better version of Dropbox, but that does nothing to differentiate them. Better is actually worse. Different is what matters.

Bluesky isn't even trying to be anything other than Twitter but better, and that only really succeeds because Twitter is so abysmal right now. I really hate that you can't even thread posts and you're supposed to comment with a pin emoji if you want to pin one.

On the other hand, the reason why Tumblr is still around is because it isn't better than anything, but also nothing does quite the same thing Tumblr does. For example: the other day I saw a post about invasive species I liked and decided to reblog it, but then I scrolled down the tags and saw someone wondering about the actual chances of eradicating invasive species. That's something I know a little bit about, so I wrote a reply with links to the research that's been done recently on that subject.

That's a typical Tumblr exchange, but it's something that would've been incredibly hard to replicate on another platform. As long as this continues to be true, Tumblr won't die off for good.

I've stuck around for so long because I prefer that kind of posting to pretty much any other social media platform, but I honestly don't have any energy left to continue shouting at the void month after month, so I don't know how long I'll stay here.

*Feels weird to call something so short a post, but I'm not calling them "skeets". That's one idiotic name.

[d00dlef0x]

If old elongated muskrat isn’t lying then listen up twitter users who might have fled here heres some advice:

Reblog shit, if you think somethings funny reblog it, if you think its informative reblog it, whatever it is if you even slightly like it reblog it. If it doesn’t go with your “theme” then make a second account and reblog it from there. Tumblr doesn’t have an algorithm what you see comes from people you follow reblogging shit or going through tags you like, mobile users can hold the reblog button and drag it to the account they want to reblog it from. What about likes you may ask? They do absolutely nothing other than show you liked what they posted, this isnt instagram guys please reblog

TAG YOUR STUFF!! Putting a TW// at the top of your post doesn’t actually block it for people, you HAVE to tag it appropriately for sensitive and/or triggering topics or things that can cause literal seizures, common courtesy gang

For the love of god put an icon and header on your account, maybe even a funny line for your title and description because otherwise everyone and their mother is going to assume that you’re a bot and block you

This isnt the place to be an influencer or to gain “clout”, no one gives a fuck about your thirst trap pics or how you have a bunch of fancy cars like they would on instagram or twitter, you either shitpost or you die (obviously dont have to just shit post but you get what i mean)

Dont bring your drama from twitter here no one wants that and we’ve been doing fine without it thank you

I think thats it but feel free to add onto this!

[lawlznet]

State of the Channel Address:

I've missed this entire week so far in part because I've had so much accumulated crap to do from months of avoidance behavior, and I can't bring myself to get on late just to do a half assed show for a couple hours before disconnecting with all the grace of a fart.

I know that the opposite end of "waiting until you can do everything perfectly" is potentially, never streaming again, but honestly? Is it really that much better having a VOD archive full of embarassment?

Look, I haven't even found the time to edit out potential dox from an old vod, which is why there have been no new updates on youtube aside from the occasional short in over a month. Don't even get me started on the mental emotional landscape.

Turning to social media and filling your profile with retweets and retoots and getting involved in drama that's almost certainly beyond you is a coping mechanism. Hell it's probably how some former vtubers degrade into vtweeters over time, getting stuck in this hell of forever shoving things under the bed.

So what's to be done with this?

Well I'd jokingly say "time to touch grass" here but I never stopped my diet and exercise regimen. Cosplaying May was a proof of concept that it was possible to get fit from sheer desire to become a Femboy alone, and that journey hasn't ended.

I've also swallowed my pride and hooked up for some new vtuber collabs, soon(tm). Also I have no idea why I didn't stream the previous ones. These WILL be streamed.

And though I've teased it before, I intend to continue the spoopy ARG stuff sometime in November, perhaps with social media blitzing the week of my anniversary (October 31st to November 5th). I don't know what form it will take and frankly there remains the possibility that all of my current active socmed accounts (the ones you're reading this from) somehow die before that can happen, from Elongated Muskrat making yet another dumbass move, Fediverse eating itself into an ouroboros, or Tumblr conducting another Purge, but given how the last one was *also* a caffeinated dream splurge of using up free time at work and fueling my in-character tweets with out of character madness?

I'm sure it will be A-okay!

Even if that all fails somehow, the crowning event of all of that socmed hoopla is meant to be a Dungeons and Dragons 5th Edition live play that i'm hoping to run in December, the first I will have run in years. I have three months to prepare the campaign and in the weeks leading up to it i'm hoping to slowwwwwwlly send out invites to people who might be interested in joining. It is sure to be a mess, insofar as trying to run online several session long TTRPG's while balancing meatworld and vtuber world responsibilities, but sometimes you have to kick bad expectations to the curb and just try and do shit anyway. All I have to spend is time and while everything from employment to online presence is uncertain, at the end of the day...

...so what?

Yeah I could trash all these plans and simplify things and be as mundane as possible trying to force things to "work" as they did for the past two years. Because there might not be a December because any number of things could happen before then.

But so fucking what? Tomorrow I could die, the next week a tragedy or three happens and then all of this will be the last thing on my mind. I could also try to limp along and get back to "normal" because its safe and I totally loved looking back at a whole bunch of mediocre and embarassing archives where a clearly disinterested and half asleep femboy tells themself that they're entertaining.

Stop it. This isn't my primary job (thank god) and nobody is forcing me to keep up this song and dance to a made up metronome and an imaginary conductor, so why do I feel the need to force half baked, half assed content online only to excortiate myself afterward? Does that make any fucking sense? No? Why would it?

Why do something you don't love? Why do something that only makes you hate yourself if you're not even being PAID for it?

You look at what you've "accomplished" in the meanwhile, frittering away time everywhere but your passions while lamenting not finding time for your passions and you don't even recognize yourself in the mirror anymore.

Go big or go home.

...So yeah i'll also be working on an in-character youtube project with another vtuber friend! The details of which need to be-

-hashed out but it'll be an excitingly different experience all around! It's been forever since i've done any recorded acting, voice over or otherwise, and i'm not entirely sure what to expect. You can bet that there will be #lulzlore involved and yes, it'll be canon. That's going to be sometime in November once again, schedule and a messy timeline notwithstanding.

On the short term it'd be nice if I could stream regularly again. As in, you can reliably tune in at 2100 CST and expect to at least see my loading screen running instead of randomly getting a twitch email notif at like 2236 which lasts for like an hour because Lulz literally (note: not lirerally) dies on stream.

You know what would also be nice? How about not having to pack up and switch fucking social media platforms every few months? Gee fucking willickers wouldn't that just be BEAUTIFUL.

As beautiful as you reading this. <3

Anyway if you've read this far you're a trooper and Thank You For Playing. See you next time when one of these rants is less stream of consciousness and doesn't disseminate the point in between sporadic bouts of insanity.

See ya!

[scarlethyena]

Honestly, even before the elongated muskrat took over, twitter was pretty fuckin shit. Looking back, the only reason I used it as long as I did was because I became mutuals with some cool people and found a lot of good artists (tbh finding new artists is the only thing I use my account for at this point, but even then I’m keeping an eye out to see if any of them use other sites) but everything else about it was shit. There’s the problem with formatting, where the sidebar was just constantly showing me news stories about these horrible atrocities that I couldn’t do anything about. Meanwhile, the timeline primarily consisted of people arguing about shit that didn’t fuckin matter outside of twitter. Like I remember arguments about whether bi lesbians were valid or not kept cropping up and it seriously pissed me off (seriously people can identify however they want, what are you a cop). And even for more relevant arguments, the site’s word limit basically made any degree of nuance difficult and instead favored shallow dunks (not that tumblr is any better about this with its limitless character count but the limit definitely didn’t help).

And like, political opinions aside, a lot of twitter users are just assholes. They would just say the most unnecessarily mean or intrusive things to people completely unprovoked. It was just a continuous outrage machine, fueled by people who filled the void in their lives by taking out their anger out on strangers online. Eventually I just stopped using it because the whole site was just toxic and just really was not good for my mental health overall. If you ask me, it was already a dumpster fire, the apartheid emeralds man just fed the flames with gasoline through sheer incompetence and vanity. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll be sad if it actually goes down purely from an information-preservation standpoint (it was used by a lot of important political/cultural figures, in addition to being used by many artists) but...man that site is shit.

[texas-backroom]

funny story, today i got to know i have uterine fibroids. and i think am gonna go for hysterectomy cuz if am gonna remove stuff from my body, why not get rid of something that is a constant painful problem for my whole life.. that would be actually also gender affirming for me since i identify as IT.

oh what a time to be alive. 2 months before my bday. my bf also doesn't want to have any kids and probably won't change his mind since am on the same page with him.

all this shit is gonna cost a lot but honestly, the same as i needed to fix my teeth to enjoy eating, i need to fix my bottom parts so i can enjoy everyday without stuffing myself with painkillers that probably already fucked up my liver or wait for cancer to maybe eventually hit in.. and also i was thinking about starting my own podcast after using spotify quite a lot lately and i think i got a good topic to cover. if all those 18 y/olds can just like that show their vaginas for everybody to see for a monthly fee then i can just record audio of me talking about my feelings towards the start of my genderless life.

elongated muskrat is enough of a breeder so i will leave this task to him.

[shonpota]

Massive Melon Mussy Elongated Muskrat Dark Records Post and Twitter-stuff Master List

I managed to write and collect some information about how shit elon is:

His and try-hard outrageous stupidity act to try squeeze money out of advertiser:

Look! His bad treatment to his employees!

Just in case people want to send information to WeChat about Elon's maniac plan to make an imitation of WeChat

Polling about whether he should exist in Twitter or not

Another day, another his bad records:

[astirysk2electricboogaloo]

The elongated muskrat is back at it at Krispy Kreme

Lmfao what do you mean you can't use your hands you're tweeting me to ask if your job's gone

Oh you're disabled, k sure, what do you even do

You saved us money, surrrreeee

Disabled employee: shows his work

Two people: Jack you're being an asshole

Jack: Knows he cannot make the crack himself

Oh shit, oh fuck, oops sorry someone told me he was just being shit but it's actually not true and he's actually saved us money and he's considering staying

[crymea-river]

so i think i (fr) might start posting here again (fr) because twitter hasnt been the same for about a year now, and now elongated muskrat owns it and everyone is showing their true colors and…. idk i just wanna laugh at funny videos :/ and shit posts :/

[piccolosniccolo]

Decepticon Wind Ensemble AU Expansion

Part 2 of 2. Characterizations of the Decepticons if they were in a High School Wind Symphony.

C o l l e g e. It’s great! But so time consuming lol. I had planned to get this done in August, but I had forgotten what school is like. So anyway, here’s part two!    

Trumpet

Blitzwing: In marching band, he’s the section leader who will make you do fifty pushups for every minute you show up late. In wind ensemble, he’s the quiet guy who silently judges his section for not practicing. In jazz band, he’s bat shit insane.

Ratbat:  The most arrogant member of the program. He has the confidence to back his skills, but he does not understand that dynamics other than ‘blastissimo’ exist.

Dragstrip: Started the tradition where the trumpets in the program will attempt to sacrifice a clarinet before a contest. Barricade is the primary target.

Wildrider: Hosted an after-performance party at the local McDonalds. He is now banned from the local McDonalds.

Motormaster: He once tripped on a Tuba in the stadium when he was trying to cut in line. This created a domino effect in the trumpet and trombone sections. It is said that Megatron switched from double shot to triple shot energy drinks on that day.

Brawl: Will miss his step-offs 95% of the time.

Bonecrusher: He can only play one scale. He can read music and he has the practice sheets, yet he can only play one scale. His auditions take twenty minutes.

French Horn  

Octane: Will fight you if he catches you saying that Mellophones and French Horns are the same thing. No one will save you.

Flywheels: The only pieces of music he likes to play are chorals. Sure, he says he practices other tunes, but you that he’s lying.

Ramjet: He only listens to music by The Beatles. Their CDs are on 24/7.  He can play the French Horn solo in “For No One.” He always asks Megatron if they can play their music in the stands.

Waspinator: The only reason why he chose to play French Horn was because he thought it looked cool.

Mixmaster: Does Tik Tok dances during marching rehearsal. The scary part is that he’s gotten others to join him.

Trombone

Scourge: Cried tears of happiness when DCI decided to accept trombones into the sport. This is all he practices for now.

Scorponok: His purpose in life: to add a trombone mouthpiece onto whatever instrument he can get ahold of. He then attempts to play this new instrument during rehearsal. Chaos ensues.

Rumble: Organized the trombone section to go to Sonic during rehearsal to get milkshakes. When Megatron noticed, it was too late. They were already running into the sunset.

Frenzy: His goal is to reenact every vine with a trombone. He cannot be stopped.  

Reflector: He accidently threw his slide from the stands into the football field and knocked a football player out. The entire stadium was silent for ten seconds. He is no longer allowed to attend football games.

Bass Trombone

Overlord: Feels as if it is his responsibility to say the lewdest comments during rehearsal. He does this to get Megatron’s attention, but Megatron is particularly good at ignoring him. The other remembers of low brass? Not so much…

Euphoniums

Nickel: The only one keeping the euphoniums from descending into further chaos.

Clobber: Plays Animal Crossing during rehearsal. It’s a blessing from Primus that there has not been a collision on the marching field… yet.

Vortex: Always has the tendency to be flat. He never fixes this before rehearsal even though he’s been told to do so 20 million times.

Blast Off: Always has the tendency to be sharp. He never fixes this before rehearsal even though he’s been told to do so 20 million times.

Tubas

Crankcase: All of his friends are in band so he can’t leave.

Strika: The captain of loading crew. She makes sure the percussion equipment is loaded into the truck properly, and she makes sure the freshman put their stuff in the right place. She is not responsible for anyone getting run over.  

Breakdown: He once had a marimba fall on him. That was not a good day.  

Longhaul: After every rehearsal, he’ll play the first few measures of the Veggie Tales theme song. He’ll do this for five minutes.  

Onslaught: Responsible for getting “Vehicle” taken out of the stand tune rotation. He’s on thin ice with “Hey Baby.” The band has agreed to fight him if that happens.

Piano

Kaon: He has perfect pitch. He’s an auditory learning god. If you think you’re good, listening to him play makes you lose your faith in pursuing music as a career.

Harp

Nova Storm: You’ll find her in orchestra more often than you’ll find her in band. The only reason she’s there is because she’s working on applications for music conservatory and needs the practice.

String Bass

Shadow Striker: Like Nova Storm, you’ll find her in orchestra more often than you’ll find her in band. However, she’s an honorary member of percussion, so you can find her in the back room with them.

Drum Kit

Tesarus: The only person in the program who yells more than Starscream. This is because he has lost hearing due to his tendency to forget to wear earplugs. He also has his own band. They have rehearsal in his garage.  

Percussion

Sixshot: The king of multitasking. He can play the marimba with six mallets, and he is the tenor drum in drumline. He’s currently learning how to play piano and string bass

Quake: Always has first dibs on playing the snare drum. He will sabotage any attempt to take it from him.

Helex: Always takes the Timpani. He just wants the big solo moments.

Ion Storm: Vapes in the percussion back room. Accidently caused the fire alarm to go off during rehearsal. No one followed fire drill procedures.

Dirt Boss: The first to enter the percussion back room and the last to leave. What crimes does he commit? Sorry, but you’re not allowed to know that.

Crumplezone: Wrote “Elongated Muskrat” on the white board. Then he surrounded it with the cowboy hat emoji. Is it a death threat? A cry for help? A sign of the rapture? No one knows.

Jhiaxus: You never know what he’ll be doing next. From chimes to the gong to the cymbals to the Bongo drum, you’ll never expect what choices he’ll make.

Ransack: Purposefully reenacted the “Star Spangled Banner Cymbal Fail.” He is no longer allowed to play the cymbals.

Choir

Cyclonus: You might see him in the band hall. You might see him hanging out with band kids. You may even see him at football games and concerts. Don’t be mistaken, though. He is not in band.