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ibelieveinturtles · 7 years ago

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Did You Want Rat With That?

@zephrbabe sent me another ask for my 200 follower 'fics you'll never write.'

This time she asked: Discworld crossover, restaurant AU, "Did You Want Rat With That?"

Just like her mother, Darcy Sto Helit-Ludd has no interest in being a duchess and would rather make her own way on the Disc.

Unlike either of her parents however, she's been brought up with the full knowledge of her heritage, regular visits with a wide assortment of anthropomorphic personalities, and a well rounded education.

With her talents and abilities, Darcy could be anything she wants.

She tries out a few different career options, including the first female History Monk (they can hardly turn away Time’s daughter, right?), public service (because her entire family business is a kind of public service when you get right down to it,) and a few other things.

What she really enjoys and loves though, is to cook.

After a long chat with Ronnie Soak during an afternoon learning how make cheese, she decides she'd like to open her own restaurant.

She finds suitable premises in Ankh Morpork, and even though she could easily do everything herself in no time at all, she hires some staff, and opens quietly on a Sunday afternoon in Grune - choosing a very insignificant day of the lunar cycle, and doing all her research about former occupants of the property. (She's heard all about The Three Jolly Luck Takeaway Fish Bar and isn't taking any chances.)

It’s not a fancy restaurant. More like a small, casual, grab-something-on-the-way hole-in-the-wall pub restaurant, but it develops a Reputation and plays host to a wide range of clientele. Darcy makes sure the menu caters to all species - dwarf, troll, human, werewolf, vampire etc.

When certain members of the Watch discover this new eating place, it fast becomes their new go-to dinner-on-the-run location. It's just the lower ranks at first but as word spreads the sergeants and captains start stopping in, and eventually even the Commander himself comes by to see if there's anything his wife would approve of. (There is.)

Co-starring:

Natasha Roaming-Over as a Hublander who tired of the barbarian swords-woman life and now works as Darcy's second chef. Very talented with a knife.

Phteve Rogers, a Captain in the Watch. (Unfortunately for him, his parents weren't as well educated as they thought, especially in the spelling department.)

Bucky Barnes. A Borogravian sergeant, taking part in a Watch exchange program so he can help with the reformation of Borogravia (and it's army.) Is an actual man, not a woman disguised as a man.

Jane Fostersonson. A former student of Darcy's mother, who took great inspiration from the excursions Miss Susan took them on. Youngest person in the class, therefore youngest person to ever visit the moon. Has read everything Leonard da Quirm has ever written.

Wanda Maximoff, also from Borogravia, joined the army in the traditional manner (ie, dressing up as a boy) in order to search for her brother, but came to Ankh Morpork to get away from everything when she found no trace of him anywhere…

Bruce Basalt, a troll. Although originally from the Ramtops, he wandered into Uberwald where he found himself in the employ of a mad scientist, who thought he'd make a good experimental subject. Escaped with Igor out the back while the mob was busy breaking down the front door. Side effects of the experimentation include green skin and the ability to keep his intelligence at high temperatures.

Lord Anthony Stark, Ankh Morpork new money, made his fortune selling weapons to both Borogravia, Mouldovia, and Zlobenia, and is now using some of that money to help them recover after the recent cessation of hostilities. Is a fan of both Leonard of Quirm, and Bloody Stupid Johnson - in fact one of his hobbies is rebuilding Johnson’s inventions so that the actually work properly. And non-lethally.

The Hublander known only as Hawkeye.

A slender, elegant golem made of pure Silver. Silent but fast.

#darcy lewis #discworld crossover #mcu #assorted avengers #restuarant au #zephrbabe #fics i'll never write #200 followers #prompts #graphic

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ibelieveinturtles · 7 years ago

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Oh boy!

Darcy's known Ronnie her whole life. (There were also regular visits with Mrs War although, Susan discouraged visits with Famine and Pestilence.)

There is a very good chance that she and Tiffany will meet one day - it is most likely that they'll be introduced by Miss Eskarina Smith.

“Bucky” is absolutely short for Buchanananananan!!!! (I LOVE IT!) There is every possibility that he's a descendant of Nanny Ogg with that spelling.

Sadly, Jane probably won't ever get to meet Leonard, because he's still safely ‘dead’ in his tower of the Patricians Palace.

It was absolutely IGOR!! who escaped with Bruce! How did you guess??

OMG, I love the idea of Lord Anthony mapping Empirical Crescent. He would go in with enough supplies for a 2 year exploration of Howondaland, and any time he found himself outside a front door, he would have his assistant (Miss Pepper Propriety Potts, daughter of Poppy Prudence Potts and Piccolo Prime Potts) take copies of everything to both his home and the Unseen University Library.

The Mysterious Hawkeye wears a lot of purple. A LOT of purple. He doesn't really talk about himself, but Darcy suspects that Natasha knows more about him than she lets on.

As for the silver golem, he has no knowledge of how he came to be, in spite of a thorough investigation by Adora Belle Dearheart. He was left on the doorstep of the Golem Trust one night, no memory of where he was made or how he ended up in Ankh Morpork. He is employed by the Post Office's as their Express Delivery Service. Hints to his background will start to surface after a visiting diplomat recognises him during a delivery of important documents.

I can feel another photoset or three coming here…

Also, @anais-ninja-bitch replied to your text post

okay, but now tell me about darcy sto helit-ludd's disastrous love life featuring interfering wizards, horsemen, and gossip columnists.

Ah yes. She manages to fly under the radar for longer than expected but eventually the news gets around that the next Duchess of Sto Helit is in town. She starts getting Invitations from the local upper crust and the gossip rags have a field day linking her to every eligible bachelor that steps foot in the restaurant.

Accepting dates is like a roulette wheel of disasters: Famine just happens to be at the same restaurant; Pestilence is at the park; War is inciting a riot in front of the museum.

And - of course - she's inherited her mother's hair… oh, not the colour! Just the attitude and the tendency to re-style itself depending on her mood and stress levels.

As for the wizards, they like her food as much as anyone else, and for some reason that Darcy doesn't really understand, feel.the need to keep an eye on her. Maybe it's the Death thing, maybe it's the Time thing; either way, it's a damn nuisance!

Did You Want Rat With That?

@zephrbabe sent me another ask for my 200 follower ‘fics you’ll never write.’

This time she asked: Discworld crossover, restaurant AU, “Did You Want Rat With That?”

Just like her mother, Darcy Sto Helit-Ludd has no interest in being a duchess and would rather make her own way on the Disc.

Unlike either of her parents however, she’s been brought up with the full knowledge of her heritage, regular visits with a wide assortment of anthropomorphic personalities, and a well rounded education.

With her talents and abilities, Darcy could be anything she wants.

What she really enjoys and loves though, is to cook.

After a long chat with Ronnie Soak during an afternoon learning how make cheese, she decides she’d like to open her own restaurant.

She finds suitable premises in Ankh Morpork, and even though she could easily do everything herself in no time at all, she hires some staff, and opens quietly on a Sunday afternoon in Grune - choosing a very insignificant day of the lunar cycle, and doing all her research about former occupants of the property. (She’s heard all about The Three Jolly Luck Takeaway Fish Bar and isn’t taking any chances.)

When certain members of the Watch discover this new eating place, it fast becomes their new go-to dinner-on-the-run location. It’s just the lower ranks at first but as word spreads the sergeants and captains start stopping in, and eventually even the Commander himself comes by to see if there’s anything his wife would approve of. (There is.)

Co-starring:

Natasha Roaming-Over as a Hublander who tired of the barbarian swords-woman life and now works as Darcy’s second chef. Very talented with a knife.

Phteve Rogers, a Captain in the Watch. (Unfortunately for him, his parents weren’t as well educated as they thought, especially in the spelling department.)

Bucky Barnes. A Borogravian sergeant, taking part in a Watch exchange program so he can help with the reformation of Borogravia (and it’s army.) Is an actual man, not a woman disguised as a man.

Jane Fostersonson. A former student of Darcy’s mother, who took great inspiration from the excursions Miss Susan took them on. Youngest person in the class, therefore youngest person to ever visit the moon. Has read everything Leonard da Quirm has ever written.

Bruce Basalt, a troll. Although originally from the Ramtops, he wandered into Uberwald where he found himself in the employ of a mad scientist, who thought he’d make a good experimental subject. Escaped with Igor out the back while the mob was busy breaking down the front door. Side effects of the experimentation include green skin and the ability to keep his intelligence at high temperatures.

The Hublander known only as Hawkeye.

A slender, elegant golem made of pure Silver. Silent but fast.

#darcy lewis #darcy sto helit-ludd #mcu #discworld #fusion #it's getting out of hand #but it's so much fun!#who else have i missed?

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