#the difference is a bit haunting
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Thinking abt Evo Grian having shaggy wild hair, he wears baggy clothes with his pants legs rolled up, he doesn’t wear shoes, he baths in the ocean, he hides in bushes to scare his friends, he’s very much a wild child.
Thinking abt how after he joins the Watchers, they cut his hair, he wears a uniform, he wears boots, he’s not allowed to run off and get into anything, he has to stay in line and behave.
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Being someone who read Under The Red Hood and came out with the firm belief that, for Jason, it's not about killing Joker, it's about Jason wanting proof Batman would choose him over the Joker (bc shelia chose the joker). Makes seeing any other media where it's all about just wanting the Joker dead is a teeny bit frustrating. to be honest
Jason could've killed the Joker himself, really, really easily. Jason kidnaps the Joker before the confrontation. I can't open my comic for a reference right now, but it felt like he had the Joker for quite a bit before the confrontation. He had him. He beat him up with a crowbar. He had every single opportunity to kill the Joker himself, but he didn't because that wasn't his goal. Make no mistake, he did plan for the Joker to be dead by the end of it, but do you see what im trying to say here
Edit: If I knew this post was gonna get 1000+ notes I would've tried to word it better or something, this was a rant I made on the way to the grocery store 😭
It's not about making Batman kill either. When Batman says he won't kill, Jason adjusts and goes, 'Let ME kill the Joker or kill me to stop me' instead. The test is all about Batman choosing him. The whole final confrontation is Jason's first death again. The parent, The Joker, and the explosives. It even ends with Jason unable to move as a bomb goes off right next to him again because the parent didn't choose Jason. And instead tried finding an option that'd benefit them and (consequencely) letting the Joker walk, again, lol, lmao <-in agony
#the final confrontation was basically his first death again#and YES he Does want the Joker dead#and it would've been really really nice if Batman was the one who did it#but when batman made it clear he wouldn't kill the joker. Jason easily switched to saying “LET me kill the joker” to accommodate#because he Wanted batman to pass his test#he gave a test to dick too. and technically tim but it wasnt the family test it was a different one so it doesnt rly count#AFTER utrh and the reveal and the batarang you can go hog wild about it. i care less about it then#granted i do believe they make jason more scared of the joker after it at some point#i guess because hes a bit too willing to kill the joker and ive heard jason wasnt meant to live after utrh#my watsonian explain for that is he was so fixated on his plan he cpuld override his fear. or maybe the pit. either work#i prefer the fixation bc i dont like the explanation that the pit was the /only/ reason he could get all plan together and done#BUT THATS UNRELATED!!!#dc stop putting the joker in jason stories im begging you please please please. lock him in a vault for the next 20 years or something#it Cpuld be good and i understand. but also. after so long of people that dont know or go for jasons need for family and parents#that love him and he can trust#the joker starts to feel like?? hm. words. a cop out? oh haha its that guy that killed him woagh hes here#i bet you dont even know that jaybin got beat until unconsciousness by an angry mob#while asking batman to save him only for batman to have to walk away#anwya. where was i going with this#i think i got off topic#jason todd#dc comics#batman#ADDED AN EDIT. SORRY. this post has been haunting me it keeps me awake. what if people misunderstand#they cant read my tags where i ramble more depth. thisbis the only option#EDIT EDIT: hiii#removed the sentence abt jason having the joker for several days bc i misremembered some things#go read its-your-mind 's addition instead also#ok no more i wont edit this post anymore i promise
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Unsolved Mysteries.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#Spoilers: It was Wei Wuxian the whole time!#Once again this one was on the chopping block but I saved it for just a better comic flow.#Admittedly I do have a critique of the pacing here. Namely that we really should have ended the flashback when WWX fell.#And then gone back to present time for a bit - or even go to a different flashback.#The sense of time passing isn't as strong as it *could* be.#We get *told* three months pass and that they've been looking for WWX. But to the audience it's been...15 min.#Less than seven minutes if you count the flute playing.#This guy when through a whole aesthetic and persona shift in less time than it takes to walk through a corn field.#Guy who listened to less than half an emo album and dyed all his clothes black. And jorted all his jeans.#Timeskips can be sudden and work out just fine! I personally feel like this one would be stronger with better pacing.#Feel free to disagree with me!#In case anyone is wondering why JC and LWJ are still holding hands: 1) Haunted house episode.#2) I needed to practice drawing hand holding at some point. Might as well get the rough and sloppy ones out with these two.
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Yaz was thinking, "I'm in love with a dork."
#an enigmatic dork#this is what she meant when she told claire “my person's a bit different.”#lol#thasmin#thirteenth doctor#yasmin khan#the haunting of villa diodati#doctor who#the doctor#13th doctor#yaz khan#dw#gifs
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bylerween day 3: graveyard & zombies, haunt, young byler & old byler (ish)

and what if will never came back?
@bylerween
#WILLS NEVER FOUND AU!!!!!#the angst opportunities here are.#anyway i think this is my favorite piece out of all of them#zombie boy will Hits Different#byler#stranger things#mike wheeler#will byers#my art#bylerween2024#tw blood#a bit#tw zombies#tw death#tw implied death#day 3#graveyards & zombies#haunt#young byler & old byler#stranger things s5#stranger things 5#TECHNICALLY#and also#stranger things s1#stranger things 1#tw injury#tw body horror#????
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Memento Mori
Or: Why is The Narrator's source object a skull in The Stanley Parable's Freedom Ending. This has been haunting me
#inspired by that one picture of David Tennant playing Hamlet with the real skull. You know the one#this piece is actually a few months old and it has been haunting me the whole time. Styles a bit different cause I drew this in Procreate!#TSP was my hyperfixation before my current one. went almost straight from one media about a guy called Stanley to another lmao#still have so much art I want to draw for it...#tsp#the stanley parable#tspud#the stanley parable ultra deluxe#tsp stanley#my guy mr. employee 427#fan art#fanart#The Narrator#because he's that skull!! thats where his voice is coming from!#digital art#artists on tumblr#my art
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i'm becoming less defined as days go by
#cod zombies#edward richtofen#director richtofen#primis richtofen#ultimis richtofen#said i wouldnt come back to this but it haunted me for a bit so. hi#you get the idea#andrewtext#my art#sometbing about hoowwwww he's repeating the same life but different#someting about how he copes with that (badly)#something about how the further he gets from ultimis the less he remembers from each iteration but also he remembers more iterations#divergent Richtofen evolution#i rarely ever put flats on things ignore how ugly the rendering is xx
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THE BACHELOR & DEATH, DEFEATED.
#pathologic#мор. утопия#pathologic 2#my art#daniil dankovsky#the bachelor#digital art#pathologic oc#shura nazarov***#me? oc-posting? occasionally#trying a new style here (sort of)#danya here looks a bit different from my usual... i think he's cute#tfw your first (dissection) is sitting at your first (something else)'s pub in the middle of the steppe#i do have a lot of thoughts about these two#i don't ship them (i think that they should rip eachother to shreds)#what if you were foils...#t4t but one is haunted by the other.
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they're calling 7 year old maprojects classic....................... ( slowly withering into dust) (/LH)
#things that will make me realise how long ive been here#get me out get me out get me out#ahhhh (banging at the walls)#classic for me is . little fang (though thats only a 2 year difference apparently lol)#joan of arc. type of stuff#time is wack my guys#i feel a bit haunted bc i feel still like a “newbie” of the animation community but#i sure have been doing videos since 7 years ago huh..#echo feels a lot more recent too but ive been lied to apparently#(ALL SLASH LIGHTHEARTED BTW)#i genuinely have seen younger people literally see smth and go “i grew up w this at (before legal internet age)”#and that shocks me to my core every time
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The power went out at my house for like 2 days (pnw bomb cyclone iykyk sigh) and the only device of mine that can hold a charge is my ipad so you KNOW I was drawing
#I lit them from different sources as ✨symbolism✨ idc if it doesn’t make ‘sense’#Finn from the man made light of the window and Liam by the light of the moon!! Finn’s connection to humankind vs Liam’s to nature!!!#anyways there’s a plot in my list of scenarios for them where they go to Finn’s brother’s wedding together as ‘roommates’ and ‘best buddies’#and that’s when they mutually realize they’re lowkey in love with each other#neither vocalizes this for another few months of course why would they#and Liam lowkey unsettles every person there except Finn#because everyone tends to find him a bit haunting and strange except Finn (for cursed bloodline/spirit reasons you know how it is)#my art#digital art#procreate#artists on tumblr#digital illustration#illustration#original art#my ocs#doodle#art#drawing#oc#original character#oc art#original character art#oc art tag#oc artwork#digital artist#oc artist
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Slytherin Locket Cave: The Life And Death Of Merope Gaunt
I wanted to explore one of the most interesting details of Voldemort’s characterization: the extensive protections around the Slytherin locket horcrux, which exist as a step-by-step re-enactment of Merope's suffering - referencing his mother's actual death, but perhaps more prominently, her state of drowning in despair in the Gaunt home due to her family.
The Locket's Significance
Tom Riddle initially hears of it from his uncle:
“Ar, he left her, and serve her right, marrying filth!” said Morfin, spitting on the floor again. “Robbed us, mind, before she ran off! Where’s the locket, eh, where’s Slytherin’s locket?” Voldemort did not answer. Morfin was working himself into a rage again; he brandished his knife and shouted, “Dishonored us, she did, that little slut! And who’re you, coming here and asking questions about all that? It’s over, innit.... It’s over....” He looked away, staggering slightly, and Voldemort moved forward.
Making his uncle look at him to Legilimize him, Tom views the Bob Ogden memory - and later wipes his uncle memories till that point. (I assume LV got all the same Merope details and memories that Dumbledore shows Harry in HBP, and likely even more.)
We first see Slytherin's locket when Marvolo strangles Merope with the chain to show it to Bob Ogden and claim they're Slytherin's descendants, and presumably Merope wore it for most of her life in the Gaunt shack. Merope runs off with Tom Sr. wearing it and per Burke it's the last possession she had days before her death:
“It was brought in by a young witch just before Christmas, oh, many years ago now. She said she needed the gold badly, well, that much was obvious. Covered in rags and pretty far along... Going to have a baby, see. She said the locket had been Slytherin’s. [...] She didn’t seem to have any idea how much it was worth. Happy to get ten Galleons for it.“
And Voldemort's enraged when Hepzibah Smith claims Merope stole it and was simply too dense to know its worth (which Merope clearly did, could hardly miss it with Marvolo's behavior):
“I had to pay an arm and a leg for it, but I couldn’t let it pass, not a real treasure like that, had to have it for my collection. Burke bought it, apparently, from a ragged-looking woman who seemed to have stolen it, but had no idea of its true value —” There was no mistaking it this time: Voldemort’s eyes flashed scarlet at the words, and Harry saw his knuckles whiten on the locket’s chain. “— I daresay Burke paid her a pittance but there you are.... Pretty, isn’t it? And again, all kinds of powers attributed to it, though I just keep it nice and safe....” She reached out to take the locket back. For a moment, Harry thought Voldemort was not going to let go of it, but then it had slid through his fingers and was back in its red velvet cushion. “So there you are, Tom, dear, and I hope you enjoyed that!” She looked him full in the face and for the first time, Harry saw her foolish smile falter. “Are you all right, dear?” “Oh yes,” said Voldemort quietly. "Yes, I’m very well....” “I thought — but a trick of the light, I suppose —” said Hepzibah, looking unnerved, and Harry guessed that she too had seen the momentary red gleam in Voldemort’s eyes.
The red flash in his eyes staying long enough for Hepzibah to notice.
2. Location
It's the sole horcrux in a location related to his childhood in the orphanage, and the cliffside location evokes Azkaban's (the fortress on a tiny island middle of the North Sea) - a seaside cave you have to swim to reach, described as "a bleak, harsh view, the sea and the rock unrelieved by any tree or sweep of grass or sand". This signifies how the Gaunt shack was like Azkaban to Merope.
(When Sirius writes via tropical birds post-Azkaban escape, Harry thinks he's somewhere with sunlight and “palm trees and white sand” where he can't imagine dementors surviving for long).
My theory's that while Tom may've been covering up a violent fight, what ruined Amy and Dennis's minds so they were "never right afterwards" was a too powerful memory wipe - like Crouch Sr.'s on Bertha Jorkins - so they can recall they went into a cave with Tom but nothing more; that could also be a relevant association, as Tom used Legilimency to erase his uncle's memories and send him to Azkaban.
It starts with a concealed entrance and a "blood ward", something normally outside/protecting a magical home, an indication that the Cave represents the Gaunt shack (interestingly HBP begins with Dumbledore having entered the Gaunt shack threshold and cursed fatally by the ring horcrux, entering the blood wards of the Dursleys' house, and ends in him dying after the Cave-as-Gaunt-house-simulation), with "denser than normal” darkness inside.
A concealed chained "ghostly green" little boat glides over a "great black lake" to the center island - matching descriptions of the boatride across the Hogwarts lake to the castle for first-years, and a reference to the fact that Merope never got to attend school.
The Emerald potion, which Harry first thinks is a lamp, emits a green glow through the cavern, similar to Slytherin common room descriptions (“underground room with rough stone walls and ceiling from which round, greenish lamps were hanging on chains” / "it’s under the lake, so the light’s all green.”)
3. Drink of Despair
The potion is, of course, a liquefied dementor, which is linked to Merope in several ways.
The echoes of Lily's murder Harry hears near the dementors and his rage at Sirius betraying her parallels the memory of Merope being killed by her family and Tom’s rage at seeing it in his uncle’s memories - Morfin betraying her secret to their father and sending Marvolo after her, Merope's wordless pleading with her brother and father, Morfin’s cackle of laughter, and Merope screaming as she’s about to be killed by Marvolo.
“D’you know what I see and hear every time a dementor gets too near me?” Ron and Hermione shook their heads, looking apprehensive. “I can hear my mum screaming and pleading with Voldemort. And if you’d heard your mum screaming like that, just about to be killed, you wouldn’t forget it in a hurry. And if you found out someone who was supposed to be a friend of hers betrayed her and sent Voldemort after her —” (POA)
“She likes looking at that Muggle,” said Morfin, a vicious expression on his face as he stared at his sister, who now looked terrified. “Always in the garden when he passes, peering through the hedge at him, isn’t she? And last night —” Merope shook her head jerkily, imploringly, but Morfin went on ruthlessly, “Hanging out of the window waiting for him to ride home, wasn’t she?” “Hanging out of the window to look at a Muggle?” said Gaunt quietly. [...] “Is it true?” said Gaunt in a deadly voice, advancing a step or two toward the terrified girl. “My daughter — pure-blooded descendant of Salazar Slytherin — hankering after a filthy, dirt-veined Muggle?” Merope shook her head frantically, pressing herself into the wall, apparently unable to speak. “But I got him, Father!” cackled Morfin. “I got him as he went by and he didn’t look so pretty with hives all over him, did he, Merope?” “You disgusting little Squib, you filthy little blood traitor!” roared Gaunt, losing control, and his hands closed around his daughter’s throat. Both Harry and Ogden yelled “No!” at the same time; Ogden raised his wand and cried, “Relashio!” Gaunt was thrown backward, away from his daughter [...] Ogden ran for his life. Dumbledore indicated that they ought to follow and Harry obeyed, Merope’s screams echoing in his ears. (HBP)
(HBP's also the book Harry gives a step by step graphic description of Lily's murder to Slughorn; while Voldemort re-enacts Merope's through the cave protections)
Dumbledore says Morfin gave a "full and boastful confession" - which Tom Jr. Legilimized Morfin to give, explicitly referencing the last time his uncle attacked Tom Sr. in retaliation for Merope’s attraction to him and gloated to Marvolo about it - "He was proud, he said, to have killed the Muggles, had been awaiting his chance all these years."
While Harry only wants revenge for his parents with no thought for himself vs. LV framing his uncle for his pureblood family blasting him off their family tree, LV certainly has additional rage for his mother, and also doesn't forget his mother's screaming/general despair in a hurry, creating the locket cave decades after viewing the memories.
The dementors' varying effect and imagery is linked with - despair and hopelessness, losing the will to survive, not eating, victims huddling and hiding their faces and pleading, weakness and fainting, etc. Sirius says Crouch Jr. in Azkaban was "screaming for his mother by nightfall. He went quiet after a few days, though... they all went quiet in the end... except when they shrieked in their sleep.”
Which is exactly Merope's state in the Gaunt house with her father and brother:
Harry realized that there was somebody else in the room, a girl whose ragged gray dress was the exact color of the dirty stone wall behind her. She was standing beside a steaming pot on a grimy black stove, and was fiddling around with the shelf of squalid-looking pots and pans above it. [...] She looked a little cleaner than the two men, but Harry thought he had never seen a more defeated-looking person.
“Good morning,” said Ogden. She did not answer, but with a frightened glance at her father turned her back on the room [...]
And [Marvolo] spat on the floor at Ogden’s feet. Morfin cackled again. Merope, huddled beside the window, her head bowed and her face hidden by her lank hair, said nothing.
“‘Darling,’” whispered Morfin in Parseltongue, looking at his sister. “‘Darling,’ he called her. So he wouldn’t have you anyway.” Merope was so white Harry felt sure she was going to faint.
and:
Instead, [Marvolo] jeered at his daughter, “Lucky the nice man from the Ministry’s here, isn’t it? Perhaps he’ll take you off my hands, perhaps he doesn’t mind dirty Squibs....” Without looking at anybody or thanking Ogden, Merope picked up the pot and returned it, hands trembling, to its shelf. She then stood quite still, her back against the wall between the filthy window and the stove, as though she wished for nothing more than to sink into the stone and vanish.
Harry was on his feet once more, refilling the goblet as Dumbledore began to scream in more anguish than ever, “I want to die! I want to die! Make it stop, make it stop, I want to die!” “Drink this, Professor. Drink this....” Dumbledore drank, and no sooner had he finished than he yelled, “KILL ME!”
Merope's completely nonverbal throughout the scene, other than her screams. The Gaunts homeschooled, so she didn't even get to attend Hogwarts as an escape, as Tom, Harry, and others did and barely got an education (referenced by the boat ride resembling the first years’ boatride to Hogwarts). And she would've been forced to marry her brother and have his children.
(Morfin's association near the dementors is also his father - "'He’ll kill me for losing his ring,’ he told his captors over and over again [...] And that, apparently, was all he ever said again.")
What we hear of Merope as she's pregnant is the complete opposite of the dementors.
Merope wanted to live desperately enough that she sold a family heirloom for basically nothing a week before her death - so she was certainly trying to get food. (Comparatively, Harry in HBP due to grief for Sirius was "lying on his bed, refusing meals, and staring at the misted window, full of the chill emptiness that he had come to associate with dementors" until Dumbledore's letter came.)
Both times, Merope is facing death - with the Gaunts, she's too hopeless to speak even while pleading as she’s about to be killed; while pregnant with Tom (the only time we do hear Merope speak, secondhand), despite having wandered destitute for months and despite freezing and starving in midwinter and in the painful process of dying in childbirth, she has the will to speak until her dying breath - expressing hope for her son's future ("I hope he looks like his papa"), to give her son a name, Mrs. Cole saying it seemed "so important to the poor girl" to name him.
It’s reminiscent of how staying in Grimmauld Place is far worse for Sirius than living in a cave and eating rats on the run is, and where looking out for Harry also keeps Sirius going and gives him a purpose. 12GP is likewise linked with Azkaban/dementors/death (elaborated on here).
Voldemort's awareness of all this is probably the best indication, among others, that he doesn't share Dumbledore's viewpoint that Merope chose to die; and his response to that would likely be very like Harry's about Sirius - that she didn't want to go at all.
“I don’t care. You can have it, I don’t really want it.” Harry never wanted to set foot in number twelve, Grimmauld Place again if he could help it. He thought he would be haunted forever by the memory of Sirius prowling its dark musty rooms alone, imprisoned within the place he had wanted so desperately to leave.
Voldemort is similarly haunted by the memory of Merope - but unlike Harry he craves the aspects of his family and pureblood society that killed his mother even as he resents it; wants the house, the heirlooms, to remake himself into the Heir of Slytherin, grasping at power but also any and all connection he has to family.
4. Death and Burial
The last part is the drinker collapsing in weakness after finishing the potion, the desperate thirst, and when they crawl to drink from the lake, the Inferi army of the dead dragging them to death by drowning in icy water.
Referencing the months Merope wandered London destitute, her death in childbirth, and burial in a pauper's grave.
In Greek myth, Charon ferries deceased souls in his boat across the rivers of the underworld (often the Acheron, the river of misery, in some sources a lake), and those without proper burials are left behind to haunt the world as ghosts.
Proper burials or lack thereof a recurring canon motif, Voldemort himself telling the forces against him in DH to "Dispose of your dead with dignity" and Azkaban has a mass graveyard of prisoners, buried by dementors instead of their family.
5. Kreacher
I assume this is the significance of Voldemort asking for a house-elf and his horrific torture of Kreacher, since LV has also considered humans disposable for decades and killed many for this task already (the Inferi) - Kreacher is meant to represent Merope.
Merope was the servant of the household, and there's the general implication of lifetime service/"slavery" to her family.
“But the villagers’ shock was nothing to Marvolo’s. He returned from Azkaban, expecting to find his daughter dutifully awaiting his return with a hot meal ready on his table. Instead, he found a clear inch of dust and her note of farewell, explaining what she had done [...] The shock of her desertion may have contributed to his early death — or perhaps he had simply never learned to feed himself."
LV also recreates this family dynamic into the Death Eaters - which he calls his “true family” and who are his slaves and call him Master.
"as [Kreacher] drank, he saw terrible things... Kreacher’s insides burned... Kreacher cried for Master Regulus to save him, he cried for his Mistress Black, but the Dark Lord only laughed" (DH)
LV potentially thinks of a house-elf as a being who "deserves it" "instead" (and is part of the establishment/property he thinks are his birthright. And it's telling of house-elves enslavement and isolation that the only people Kreacher can ask for to save him in the midst of it are his owners.)
The details are a bit unclear, but LV likely already tested the potion/other defenses before turning the locket into a horcrux; he used Kreacher to empty the basin of potion to place the finalized locket, as there's no backdoors to drinking it.
So LV leaves right after the locket is placed, not bothering to wait until Kreacher's dead and underestimates his ability to Apparate out - and considered him so insignificant that he didn’t remember who Kreacher is in OOTP despite using him for a very important plot to lure Harry, directly contributing to his downfall.
And, ironically, Regulus via Kreacher plays the role of "dutiful daughter/servant running off with the locket and leaving a farewell note explaining what he's done".
Part 2 of this meta
#merope gaunt#tom riddle#lord voldemort#will probably be an informal part 2 of scattered thoughts#i never write actual organized metas this is a first. and probably too long#but absolute fave element of LV characterization#and the way it sets up The Cycles TM#the violence against merope is haunting the narrative etc.#well. harry not wanting the pureblood family establishment of the house of black is a bit ruined#by him going back to the house and fucking INHERITING AND NOT FREEING KREACHER -_-#i’ve seen different interpretations on how much info about merope voldemort actually has#like in some fics he’s legilimized the memory of his mother’s death but not the scene in the gaunt house#in some he’s legilimized both or none. etc.#i think he’s 100% seen the bob ogden one but most likely also viewed his mother’s death and maybe viewed riddle sr.’s memories of her too#ik it's a common interpretation that he thinks his mother chose to die too (understandably given jkr's intent)#and other than everything in this meta i'll probably elaborate on why that's incorrect at some point
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compilation of this guys colours haunting me
#every iterator we have seen in game has a different puppet colour than their associated colour#Moon is blue and yellow. Pebbles pink and cyan. Suns yellow and red#the colours arent exactly opposite of eachother. more like a third across the colour wheel maybe?#though suns colours are pretty close together so idk#and nsh being green on green doesn't really fit that but iterator colours aren't really consistent anyways. But just following that logic#what if purple. But then its purple puppet with purple cloak#im not even gonna start about the scarf in the tags that things maybe existence haunts me just as much#I don't think ourple nsh is more canon im just losing my mind a bit thumbs up I love green NSH my favourite pea head ever#probably gonna draw him both ways#also tag ramble jumpscare get scared get scared#my art
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no explicit spoilers but i can't stop playing the kevin and jean interactions in the golden raven in my head and now i have to make serious changes to my kevjean/jackparse mirrors thesis because i think now we know exactly where the divergence is and i'm going insane thinking about this
#i love fandom and i love being knee deep in it and i love narrative/character/relationship parallels across different media#and also :) i don't know how to be normal about anything :)#i predict this is going to haunt me forever#i wish for kent parson to have the hatred jean moreau has in his heart honestly#omgcp#aftg#tgr#still saving all my spoilers for after the 22nd#i feel like after a month it's a bit fair game lmao but i'll still tag obvs#i have hundreds of posts saved that i'm going to shove in my queue after the weekend lkgfjhgjl
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more zombie au :] (1.2k words)
The odor of rot has joined the damp growth of life from pots. Even if some things die off without human aid, there are always stronger elements that thrive in their absence.
The aisles are overgrown. Ritsu brushes past the vines as gently as he can, wooden floor groaning under his worn soles. There’s a gap of empty space in the middle of each aisle that he slots through, eyes roaming the shelves of largely useless things. Stronger stems snag onto his backpack and he tugs distractedly while perusing the labeled pots along the tables.
The barn is quaint, and Ritsu thinks he would love to stay. Moss eats at the boards under his feet and bugs swarm around him in the hot air incessantly, but it’s peaceful and there’s a constant sprinkle of sound to his ears that have grown so used to silence. Whoever owned this place beforehand put up a few wind chimes indoors—they must’ve always had the front entrance open for customers.
It’s a quiet little homemade garden center, or something similar, on the side of the highway. It’s an overgrown property with something dead in the backyard that Ritsu refuses to acknowledge or let Shigeo near. The shingles and boards in the roof have been replaced with polyethylene sheets—a barn-turned-greenhouse, uprooted from the hay and cattle it likely used to house and settled back into the Earth to be a paradise for plants.
There’s a large branch hanging through a hole poked into the plastic overhead. It sways with the wind and the chimes that follow, and Ritsu whistles with the leadless melody and gives it a direction while he studies old seed packets.
They didn’t stop here for any particular reason—a garden center doesn’t have much for apocalypse survivors, but Shigeo has always liked overgrown things. He’d always enjoyed taking care of their mother’s plants back home, and then Reigen’s at the office. His brother likes the humidity of greenhouses and the smell of soil and dirt and must.
He sees the top of Shigeo’s head over the aisles, across the barn. He walks past a shovel hanging on the wall and yelps out a grunt when it clangs to the floor behind him. Ritsu shakes his head and smiles, running his fingers along faded price tags.
The feeling of greenhouses has always had this… wet fullness, to Ritsu.
When he breathes in it’s like he can taste the life that breathes out and it feels like a conversation, a question and an answer, both of which he’s not sure how to articulate. The leaves wave to him and he waves back, the once-active sprinklers pepper his skin with dots, with compliments, with proclamations they are eager to share. The vines weave between fencing just to reach him, just to talk.
He understands why Shigeo likes it, and why he’d always asked to accompany their mother on trips to get new seeds. Ritsu hadn’t really understood, then, how pretty it could be, how full it could feel.
Shigeo had always been right about loving the little things. Ritsu wishes he’d seen that sooner.
His brother ambles down the aisle ahead of him and he listens to the quiet patter of his sloppy footwork, moving around a table of seed trays. His whistles carry across the barn, sort of aimless in their own right instead of leading the wind and the chimes somewhere worthwhile, but the sounds soak into the overhead plastic nicely, so he keeps going.
He pulls back a layering of vines and leaves to scan the contents of another shelf, and then he notices Shigeo stop in his peripherals. His dirty shoes stay planted in the corner of his vision, leaves burying the toes, and Ritsu looks away from the products.
He means to say something, to ask him what’s up even if saying things to Shigeo very rarely results in productivity, but he stops when he realizes his brother’s head is… tilted.
He’s looking at him with as much inquisitiveness as his dulled down awareness can muster, pale eyes flickering across Ritsu’s face like he’s working out some puzzle. He instinctively stops whistling, brain lagging behind on this new info of this new behavior, and the sound fizzles out into a little huff of air that leaves the greenhouse feeling oddly empty.
Shigeo studies him for a moment longer, blinking slowly, and then he straightens his head out as Ritsu stares back. His brother’s gaze lingers there on his mouth, like he’s still confused, like he still expects something to happen.
Ritsu blinks once, twice. The wind chimes call as wind pokes at his greasy spikes, as it prods at the ends of his jacket and fills the silence with a different flavor of itself. The interest in the zombie’s eyes fades a little, gaze straying to the vines around them.
Very tentatively, Ritsu wets his lips and blows. The whistle grabs his brother’s attention immediately, and he’s suddenly tilting his head like a curious dog.
He can’t help the laugh that spills out and makes the whistle a mess of exhales. His shoulders shake a little and he hurries to keep the tune steady and consistent; a few seconds pass and Shigeo tilts his head the other way, exhausted eyes big and more alert than they’ve been in days.
Ritsu experiments, and ventures around with the sound—goes lower and higher and watches his brother twist his head back and forth like he’s trying to understand calculus. There’s something very innocent about it, about the look in his eyes that reminds him of when they were kids and their father would show them magic tricks.
It’s muted by the ever-present fog there in his pupils, but Ritsu thinks he sees a spark of that life in them, of that curiosity born from a mind that knows little. He gives him a simple sensation, a simple experience, and his brother is eating it all up like he’s four again, like he’s new and everything is colorful and unknown and big.
Ritsu watches Shigeo tilt his head back and forth, watches the rusty gears behind his window panes move. He changes tactics, because some sad part of him tells him to, and whistles Shigeo’s favorite song instead.
He remembers the name, but he doesn’t need the name because when he thinks of the tune he thinks of his brother, and that’s all that matters. It’s happy, because Shigeo likes happy music. It’s chipper and yet it meanders, like it’s willingly getting lost, like it’s wandering where it wants to and it’ll eventually find its roots again. It’s happy the whole time. The whole adventure.
Shigeo stops tilting his head, and the gears behind his eyes churn a little bit faster. His gaze clings to Ritsu’s and his brother makes actual eye contact, sinks his own being into Ritsu’s head when he’s least prepared for it. The recognition in his gaze has his soul souring.
He keeps whistling. He doesn’t want to stop, because Shigeo feels like Shigeo right now, and he doesn’t want that to stop.
His brother stares. Ritsu’s grief tints the music.
#qkwrites#zombie au#mp100 ritsu#ritsu kageyama#shigeo kageyama#mp100 shigeo#mp100 mob#every time i think about this au too long i am filled with despair#last line of this . damn i was cookin#ritsu's grief tints Everything he does in this world#he's fucking haunted by it and it's awful bc it's not like he can just.not think abt it#bc the source of his grief is Shigeo. and shigeo still breathes and walks and reacts to things ritsu does like he's alive#and he Is alive. he's very much alive#but there is a lot missing. and ritsu Feels the absence every fucking second#it's like walking into a house that used to have another person in it. and all the familiar sounds ur used to will never be made again#it's very empty and stagnant and the things that Do stay are Different#and it changes a lot. one minute ritsu will be having an okay day—best mood u could possibly have in an apocalypse anyway#and then he looks over and shigeo is doing smth that he used to do Before but it's wrong and a little bit to the left#and without the life in it#pure muscle memory on shigeo's part#and suddenly ritsu's mood drops So fast and he's so Exhausted from these mood swings he keeps having#u know that thing that goes like .uhhhh grief doesn't fade life just gets bigger around it. or smth#yeah ritsu's life isn't rly getting bigger. he is not moving away from the grief bc the source of it keeps staring him in the face
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i saw in the tags of your henry and mortmain posts that you’d like people to ask you about them :) — and tbh i’d love to hear more about the parallels between them that you mention in the post :D
Before I begin, I’m so sorry I took so so long to answer! I have been pretty busy and could definitely do a longer breakdown of all this but it’s already been a month and it’s going to drive me insane if I leave thing unanswered any longer.
I’ll need to do a full re-read of the trilogy to really answer the questions but here are some thoughts that are very interesting to me. Please excuse any incoherent-ness, (and grammar issues, and repetition issues, and poor citation, and spelling, and rambling, etc, etc) i have spent so long staring at the document i wrote this on trying to get my brain to work I may have totally lost the plot. Just trust me guys I’ve got a PhD in Henry Fairchild.
Lets start off with the most obvious parallel, that being their work. On a strictly physical level the work they do is very similar- they both approach magic through science and vice versa in a notably unique fashion. Stylistically and functionally the things each of them create has a decently sized overla and Henry has no problem understanding Mortmain’s creations. Mortmain favors clockwork for his creations and while Henry doesn’t specifically focus on such things he is very familiar with them, and interested to boot.
Mortmain is quite brilliant, in multiple ways. Most people could not manage the type of thing he pulls off consistently; Henry *probably* could. It’s worth noting Henry is severely limited by Shadowunter laws; in the third book we see the only reason he hasn’t invented a portal entirely by himself is because he can only work with a specific set of runes (Clockwork Princess, pg. 282). Even working in the tight restraints of Shadowhunter resources, and only being around 21 in the books, he’s extremely competent.
Furthermore, Henry does not approach things with the period typical Shadowhunter judgement; as a matter of fact he essentially does not function within society as a Shadowhunter. To unpack that lets look at where Mortmain and Henry stand in relation to broader society.
The London Shadowhunters in this time period can be described, for lack of a better word, as pissy. Judgmental, bored, aggressive, whiny, chronically dissatisfied, dramatic, dismissive, sometimes downright cruel, etc, etc. Pissy. They’re really pissy.
Henry, objectively speaking, does not fit into all this, and is punished for it (see pgs 281-283 CP3). The general public treats him horribly. Recall in Clockwork Angel Charlotte tells Tessa that Henry was the one who told Mortmain what a Pyxis was (which is, again, a different rant), that he wants her to tell the Clave and that she won’t because “they already treat him so badly”. And they do- nearly every single interaction involving him and broader Shadowhunter society involves some sort of insult, mockery, slight, etc. Almost nobody but Charlotte ever objects to this behavior and her objections have zero effect. “Making fun of Henry” is pretty much an unopposed standard.
There’s no fair reason for this. Henry is, by all accounts, an extremely pleasant person. He’s repeatedly described as “kind”- Tessa has him pinned as a trustworthy person almost immediately (“it’s only Henry, after all”). He’s rarely upset, laid back, well intentioned, and generally polite. He doesn’t have a mean bone in his body.
Imo he probably would have been treated better if he did respond in kind- or even if he had just fully withdrawn from Shadowhunter society. His persistent refusal to hold a grudge, a generally positive trait, shoots him in the foot. This is only compounded by his general disinterest in things like physical fighting, politics, and social structure. He hasn’t done anything wrong- quite the opposite- but he’s being punished by his peers for the crime of being earnestly odd (coughhasblatantlyautisticcough).
Mortmain, being a human child raised by warlocks, obviously does not fit into any particular standard. He doesn't have any particular loyalty to a party. Rather, he mostly defines his identity with his hatred for Shadowhunters, and connects with other groups transactionally with this in mind.
He has been wronged by the Shadowhunters, when his parents were killed and then in the aftermath. The Clave denying his request for reparations and, by extent, denying any wrongdoing in their actions, is a smack in the face from a powerful society.
With this in mind they would be both well within their rights to resent the Shadowhunters and they respond to that in fully opposite ways.
Henry doesn’t resent them- at all. Despite how horribly he is treated, which, one can note, does not stop after the battle of Cadair Idris, he chooses to let it go and actively work to make life better for those same people. (Clockwork Prince; “You know it isn't just tinkering for me. You know I want to create something that will make the world better, that will make things better for the Nephilim.”), He views that cruelty as a part of life as a Shadowhunter but not the defining part of that society. It’s just a thing that happens- it sucks, it hurts, but he’s not going to blame or punish the whole group because of it.
Mortmain’s is entirely the opposite. He hates them and views all the Shadowhunters as irredeemably wrong, fully deserving of a violent fate. All of them. He’s obsessed with destroying all these people despite most of the individuals who hurt him directly being gone. He blames them all, intends to carry out a mass punishment and doesn’t care about anything else.
He is deeply resentful, yeah, but he also wants more for himself. He doesn’t just want revenge, he wants a disgusting amount of power, a total victory over anything he choses, power mainly for the sake of having power.
Now we can circle back to that earlier point- Henry could be like Mortmain.
Recall in Clockwork Angel when they first bring back the automaton for Henry to examine in his lab he’s not just interested in the machine- he’s excited about it.He recognizes it to be a brilliant work of science and design, something incredibly impressive and compelling. This is not the sort of thing anyone sees everyday and it’s certainly not the sort of thing a Shadowhunter would interact with. This is exactly the sort of thing he loves, the sort of thing nobody else ever brings up, and it’s exciting to see.
As the books continue nobody else is ever caught up on the functional skills of the machinery itself. People talk about Mortmain, about what is happening, what to do, etc, etc, but the fact that the automatons are a feat of engineering is just not on anybody's radar. It’s not the sort of thing any Shadowhunter gives shit about, save Henry.
So Henry has the same intellectual capacity as Mortmain, the same scientific and magical capacity, and a not dissimilar approach to thinking.
He could pretty much disappear and do whatever he wanted forever. He could ditch the Nephilim. He could walk off without telling anybody and never bother with the Clave’s again. He could go off and study all the things Shadowhunter’s are banned from. He could create whatever he wanted completely unencumbered by the restrictions of the Nephilim (see pg.283 of CP3). Chances are nobody would pick up on it. One of the major flaws of that group of Shadowhunters is that they’re very self focused. If someone they aren’t particularly fond of, who doesn’t fit into their narrow view of someone that deserves respect, stops showing up and interacting with them they are not gonna make any real effort to figure out where they’ve gone. If Henry wasn’t around to “annoy” them none of them wouldn't go looking for him and they don’t have enough respect for innovation to wonder what he’s up to.
Remember, nobody cares about what he does (Clockwork Princess: Henry blushed a scarlet color. It was clear that no one had ever complimented his inventing before, except perhaps Charlotte. Pg. 282 )
He could have a whole new world of resources without having to deal with a society that thoroughly rejects him. He could do the one thing everyone thinks he loves the most. Hell, from an outsider point of view, the only thing he loves. He’ll happily spend days straight working, forgetting to eat, sleep, or anything else.
It’s theoretically not difficult to imagine a universe where he skips out of Shadowhunter society completely and has been wandering around the same circles as Mortmain for forever.
(He doesn’t ofc because that would be betrayal. It would require breaking the law, throwing away all social and civic responsibility, abandoning the whole kit and kaboodle, blah blah, certainly not related to other very elaborate thoughts I have about this character.)
The point here is that they are so similar save that fact. Their scientific approach to the world, which absolutely defines that way Henry exists and, at least at some point in his life, probably defined Mortmain, are so similar. If you laid the basic facts all out to someone with no context other previous knowledge on the characters (here is what they do, here is what they’re best at, here is what they bring physically to the table etc and exclude personality, morality, relationships, etc) and asked them to point out a character most like Mortmain they’d probably point to Henry.
Hell, I’d point to Henry. I’d say yeah, that’s a set up for someone to go full mad scientist and wander off to do whatever he wants. I’d say that's the character most likely to agree to use human bodies to power machinery.
Recall back to Clockwork Angel (and like, two paragraphs ago) about the automatons that are so fascinating to Henry. The beginning scene is the most exciting he ever is about this incredible tech:
“[The automaton] is not precisely a living creature at all… A mechanical creature, made to move and appear as a human being moves and appears. Leonardo da Vinci designed one. You can find it in his drawings- a mechanical creature that could sit up, walk, and turn its head. He was the first to suggest that human beings are only complex machines, that our insides are like cogs and pistons and cams made of muscle and flesh. So why could they not be replaced with copper and iron? Why couldn’t you build a person? But this. Jaquet Droz and Maillardet could never have dreamed of this. A true biomechanical automaton, self moving, self directing, wrapped in human flesh.” His eyes shone. “It’s beautiful.”
“Henry.” Charlotte’s voice was tight. “That flesh you’re admiring. It came from somewhere.”
Henry passed the back of his hand across his forehead, the light dying out of his eyes. “Yes- those bodies in the cellar.” (pg. 160-161, Clockwork Angel. )
That characteristic earnest excitement that he displays towards nearly everything new dies on the spot. “Miranda” and the other automatons are not less interesting because they’re made with human body parts- if anything that should make it more interesting. But the scientific brilliance is negated by the cruelty associated with it. It’s impressive, it’s “beautiful” and it’s not worth it. Innovation that opposes life, as opposed to promoting it, doesn’t count (see tags).
So their work, especially in this context, is interchangeable- it’s their intentions that make the whole difference.
Tessa says it best in Clockwork Princess; Henry brings things to life. Mortmain destroys. Where one of them has devoted his life to protecting people, regardless of how he’s been treated, the other one has devoted himself to slaughtering people, because of how he was treated. Where one invents with the specific intention of protecting life
In other words, two very very similar people differentiated by a fundamental love for humanity and a fundamental disregard of it.
TLDR: I need to reread the books to make this post but their style of work, approach to science and magic, and interests parallel. Also I have no idea if I’m coherent anymore please ranting in the tags for thoughts on everything here.
TLDR the TLDR: They’re both inventing shit in a series hinged around these things that have been invented
#no i did not reread this#i simply did not have it in me#trusting beloved mutal who said i make sense#anyways. *gestures vaguely* inventors#I would argue that mortmain defines himself by his hatred of shadowhunters AND his inventing but thats a different conversation (re: "mortm#mortmain has been alive for so long he hasn't been the smooth precise overlord forever he hasn't had all this power forever#and before he started spinning the web of tid he WAS innovative he did work he was creative BEFORE that thats part of how he got there sO-#*i am dragged off stage by security*#The excessive citations of pages 280-283 of clockwork princess are on account of me having those pages photographed#idk bro he’s enamored with inventing because its a way to bring life into the world to add something to create to give etc#Mortmain is enamored because it lets him turn away from the world to take something to destroy#There's a life and death parallel in there#*gripping you by the shoulders* henry invents with the specific intention of protecting life that is the point of it all it's all about tha#Thats the see tags bit. Couldnt figure out how to write that coherently. You know what i mean.#Innovation is innovative because it makes life better for people mortmains stuff is making life worse thus it is not in the same category t#Henry could be like mortmain because he can logistically think in that way and he could never be like mortmain because he morally could not#Very important to me that we note henry is NEVER like “yeah its horrible but it IS brilliant lets respect that”#he points out how brilliant it is UNTIL Charlotte points out the direct violence that led to no liSTEN- *dragged offstage by security again#you know that meme of the guy being carried off stage by all his friend yelling#thats what I'm like right now#just trust me guys the fact that i cannot articulate is not my problem#anyways. I'm normal about this man.#tid#rambling#the infernal devices#seriously I'm so sorry it took so long it's been haunting me for a month#tsc#henry branwell#henry fairchild#now gonna dip until this gets enough notes i feel okay with it not being on the top of my blog. also tumblr says no more tags allowed here:
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legitimately feel tri would have been way better received (and honestly just a legitimately better series) if it didn’t treat the 02 kids like that
#sorry watching the first couple scenes knowing the context of what they actually did with them??? does in fact frustrate me a lot. it really#felt like they chose to build up a mystery of what happened to the 02 kids but the thing is like. they didn’t get rid of the 02 kids because#it would be interesting or they had a good idea around it. they did it because they just didn’t want to deal with them. and you can just#kinda TELL by how sloppily they were handled.#and like legitimately I do not envy their position because I do think discarding the 02 kids was the RIGHT decision because it’s already#hard enough to juggle all the original 8 and the movie characters but it’s just. man. MAN.#I will forever think that they should have gone with the option of the chosen genuinely believed the 02 kids died like a few years ago or#something. especially because I think that would actually HELP inform the way they did choose to handle the characters.#I know a lot of people hate how they made taichi a bit unsure… less steadfast… and the implication they go with in tri is just that as he#grows up he becomes more aware of collateral damage and danger. and I guess that’s FINE but. why not give him a better reason? I feel people#would be far more forgiving of how they wrote taichi if his hesitance was born from the fact that some of his fellow chosen have DIED. the#danger has always been there. he’s always had to deal with brushes with death. he has already experienced the loss of many good digimon but.#I feel like this would hit him different. the fact that his sister and Takeru would have died too if they hadn’t been busy that day… it#still haunts him. he knows fighting is what’s right but it’s becoming harder to ignore the danger everywhere - he doesn’t necessarily care#what happens to him but… what about everyone else?#I think also in general it would drive a bit of a wedge within the chosen - the ones who think they still need to fight no matter what -#that it’s their DUTY - and the ones that are unsure. the ones that are losing their confidence that it will ever end. the ones who want a#normal life.#THAT’S MY FEELINGS AT LEAST.#I definitely need to rewatch adventure and 02 to fully gauge how accurate I feel this thought process is but. this is my current thoughts#for how I want to handle tri and the 02 kids in YAoYD. if I ever actually. write it.#dramon thoughts
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