#the detective’s shenanigans

[hellsite-detective]

this is Hellsite Detective, P.P.I. announcin’ that TUMBLR LIVE IS GONE FROM MY APP YES FINALLY GOOD RIDDANCE YOU FOOL

[hellsite-detectives-files]

You thought I was done, didn’t you…

when i went down to the shop, i was lookin’ for a brand new filing cabinet. something that would fit a large amount of files. i’m a busy woman, so obviously i was gonna need something big. i found the perfect one there too. i looked inside every drawer, and it was perfectly empty. i bought it, took it back to the office, and set it up. i checked the drawers once again, still empty.

a few days later, i came back from the office from my holiday break. finally home. i was goin’ to file away my first case when i saw a slip of paper sittin’ at the bottom of the drawer. i picked it up and flipped it over. i stood, in complete horror, and dropped it to the floor. they were back. the Dog Photoer had returned…

no, pal… welcome home to you…

[hellsite-detective]

WELL THIS IS CERTAINLY USEFUL

as an aside, i write I’m in Love with the Villainess fanfiction, so i can certainly relate to this oops

i appreciate the content warnings and understand their importance but i can’t help but giggle a little bit when i click on a fnaf fic and half the chapters have child death warnings in their notes. sir this is the Child Death Game i think i know what i’m signing up for

[etheriiart]

quick comic i needed out of my brain

[anti-the-glitch-bitch]

To be or not to be (a blackmailer)

Danny fit right in with his boyfriend's family. So, well in fact that they've started to fight over who gets to spend time with him. Poor Tim had to fight his family just to spend any time with Danny that wasn't interrupted.

Danny, on the other hand, thought the whole thing was hilarious.

Neither side knew of the other's extracurricular activities, so it made things very interesting, and sometimes things would get.... weird.

Like the time, Tim had brought over a fabulous homemade dinner made exclusively by Alfred for their monthly date night. Danny had actually cleaned up the disaster he called an apartment and put away all the random bits and pieces of scrap he used for his inventions. He'd even gotten the motivation to dust, which would have made Jazz very suspicious, considering he never dusted.

Date night was going very well until Damian showed up to challenge Danny to a duel for Tim's honor. Danny didn't blink an eye when the Demon brat crawled through his 3rd story window with a rapier demanding that Danny fight him then and there to show his dedication to Tim. Danny, having been trained by Lady Pandora herself on many a weapon, and having not had a good spar in some time, eagerly ran to get the rapier he had under his bed. Dani had laughed at him when she saw it, making fun of him for bringing it along when there was no way he would need it. Well, look who's laughing now, Dani!

After only breaking a few things and thoroughly destroying one of his couch cushions, Danny managed to get the upper hand and parry a particularly clever attack from Damian and immediately ripped the rapier out of the teen's hand. Damian then conceded that Danny was a competent opponent, and he had the boy's blessing to date his older yet completely incompetent brother. He also invited a bemused Danny over to the manor to see the litter of kittens he managed to talk his father into letting him foster.

After Danny told Damian he would let him know when he was free, the boy left the way he came, quickly disappearing even though Danny had been watching. Tim was not amused by the whole thing and was very much embarrassed and apologized even though Danny, who had a younger sibling of his own, thought the entire encounter was hilarious.

[jellie-the-aqua-puma]

Chuuya’s so funny because he literally shows up to do the bare minimum (unless Dazai is involved).

Like mfkr, you’re the strongest person in the world, what do you mean “oh no! he sliced through the helicopter blades! What are we going to do?!”

Your power is near limitless. Take your pick of defensive techniques. Throw him to space. Grind him to dust. Carry the helicopter away???

Why are you making people jump out of planes and sacrifice their lives when you can juggle the opps until their brains are mush?

He’s like “Mori said let them on the helicopter. I did my part.”

“Oh no; that kid and that guy from that place that Dazai occasionally volunteers at are strapped to bombs?” … “Well it’s my day off so more power to them.” ✌🏼

The absolute bare minimum. He’s so funny.

[hellsite-detective]

i always enjoy helpin’ people out! we can do this everyone!

glad that im not popular enough to have an evil shadow version of my blog that exists just to make contradictions on my posts

[goldensunset]

when people refer to canon story-relevant kingdom hearts games as ‘spinoffs’ it makes me sad not only for the obvious reasons i always say but also bc like man i WISH this series had spinoffs. imagine what they could do if they had permission from nomura to truly go off the rails and ignore the greater canon for a second and just do some fun whimsical plotless thing in an alternate universe. imagine a fishing/boating game on destiny islands. kh fighting game. it is an injustice that we have been deprived of kingdom karts. can anyone hear me

[hellsite-detective]

hello all! Hellsite Detective, P.P.I. here!

tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, that day in which couples gather together and express their love for one another! now, i know i talk about being a lesbian a lot on here, but now there is a much more pressing matter revolvin’ around this fateful holiday…

see, i’m also aromantic and asexual. that’s not somethin’ i mention often simply because it doesn’t come up too much, but! this means i have a duty that i must see to and im spreading the good word so that all other aros, aces, and aroaces can participate!

…ahem…

MAKE AROACE TREND ON VALENTINE’S DAY AND TAKE BACK THE HOLIDAY WOOOOO

[fluffyartbl0g]

Everytime I go into the Zosopp tag, I just see people SCREAMING CRYING SOBBING about the lack of posts IN the Zosopp tag. THE ZOSOPP ECONOMY IS IN SHAMBLES

[good-usernames-were-taken]

Dead Boy Detectives + search history

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[theartingace]

some studies of 30's menswear (surely unrelated to anything) turned into being sad about Parker I hope we get to hear more about him eventually.

[abitdragonobsessed]

I'll mourn this show greatly. Why Netflix, WHYYYYY

[hellsite-detective]

now, pictures of fat pigeons may be outta my jurisdiction, but i was able to procure a couple of these from Don Google down at the Search Bar!

i hope these can tickle your fancy, Madame Curator!

Pigeon Case: Solved

Do you wanna see a picture of a fat pigeon.

of course I do !?

[the-witchhunter]

DP x DC: Animal House

Danny can apparently shapeshift, and that’s great!

or it would be great if it wasn’t for the fact he got stuck as an eldritch cat. On the plus side, he can talk to animals like this. Downside: He lacks thumbs and his powers seem to be on the fritz. 

Luckily, he got picked up by the Waynes who seem to think he is some kind of alien cat. It’s actually pretty cool. Lots of soft things and window spots to soak in some sunlight, and, hell, the homemade cat food actually tastes pretty good.

Plus he’s been making friends!

Alfred the cat and Titus are his favorites. Ace is cool but he’s more like an uncle figure. Batcow is chill, but Jerry the turkey is an asshole. Then Dick brings his dog Haley aka Bitewing, so Jason brings his dog Dog, and the whole batfamily of pets is there vibing with Danny.

Then a family emergency happens requiring all hands on deck. Everyone is out of the house and even Alfred is too busy in the Batcave keeping an eye on things to pay attention to the animals. So that can mean only one thing...

Party time!

Danny invites all the DC animals that I remember exists. Krypto the super Dog, Comet the Super Horse, Streaks the Super Cat, Beppo the Super Monkey, Rec the Wonder Dog, and of course Bobo T. Chimpanzee aka Detective chimp, the worlds greatest detective, and the alcoholic ape that’s going to supply the whole party with booze

That’s right, Danny is hosting an animal rager at the Wayne manor, and between his malfunctioning powers, the other super powered animals, and a lot of alcohol, things are going to get WEIRD

[hayaku14]

Sonoko and Shinichi are forced to attend high society parties together, mockumentary style

Interviewer: What do you do during these parties?

Shinichi: Sonoko and I people-watch. It's a great way to hone your observational skills and kill time. Sonoko is actually surprisingly good at it. Maybe the Queen of Deduction isn't too far off a nickname. (He says snickering)

*shot of Shinichi leaning into Sonoko and whispering something. Sonoko giggles and whispers back*

Sonoko: People-watch? *scoffs* Oh no, we gossip.

*shot of Sonoko whispering something to Shinichi as they both turn their heads slowly towards a man with messy hair straightening his tie. Shinichi whispers something back and they snicker for a second before swiftly turning their heads away when the man looks at them*

Sonoko: We gossip the entire time. (She says with the biggest shit-eating grin)

*the man leaves and Shinichi and Sonoko slowly look at each other and burst into giggles*