#the destiel fic i just read was so good i feel like my heart got ripped out through my asshole

[someforeignband]

sometimes you’re over it, and sometimes you’re an adult in your adult apartment, crying into your pillow over dean winchester

[happilyfeatherafter]

Happilyfeatherafter’s ficrec Fridays

Good friday y'all. Welcome back to a new fortnight of fics that I’ve read and loved recently. I took my first holiday of the year and IMMEDIATELY caught a cold that knocked me out for the week but at least it meant I got reading done. Save me, destiel, save me.

If you want to find more you can see my previous rec lists here!

29 March 2024

virga(e) by @shineforthee (art by @neversleepuntilfive) has gone straight to the top of the favourite fics ever pile, oh my god you guys, please read it immediately and admire the art that inspired it as part of @deancasreversebang. This fic is a thing of beauty from start to finish. In one version of the story of Dean and Cas, we find Castiel perpetually waiting in the desert, when a 26 year old Dean stumbles upon him drawn to the location mid-hunt. They must learn to trust each other, to figure out what's causing the push and pull that bonds them. The poetry of this fic, run through with this yearning devastating emotion on their journey together, coupled with the incredibly evocatively descriptions and research into the setting, come together to make the most gorgeous picture, the desert a place that seems desolate but is teeming with life. Much like the slowburn romance that flourishes between them. It also links back to post-canon in a way that is seeded so carefully and cleverly, and made my heart explode. It's funny, romantic, devastating, emotional, moving....I can't do justice to this fic with such a short snapshot, please read it for yourselves and come yell at me about it. It's so beautiful. shineforthee also has a great 9x06 fanfic gap one shot and an ongoing wip now too and I can't wait to read that! (Somehow need any more convincing? Check out @bloodydeanwinchester's Virga(e) liveblog).

It's all very complex by artichokeflower okay that was all very serious, so let's turn to a short and sweet smut fic that had me giggling gleefully throughout. 'After walking in on Dean's private time, Cas decides to do a little research and experimentation of his own and gets magically trapped in a book about sexual fantasies. And if that means Dean has to go in after him, well what are buddies for, right?' The thing that is just GOLDEN about this fic aside from the hot smut is the dry sense of humour, borderline French Mistake parody level porn and dialogue between Dean and especially Cas which just gets them so well...the cowboy scenes in particular. Glorious: “I’m sorry, Dean. That’s the end of the erotic violence. Are you hurt?” “Is there going to be any sex in your sexy fantasies?” Dean wheezed. “Not that the whole shoot out wasn’t fun. I just wasn’t expecting as much plot is all.” He coughed. That had probably sounded too eager.

Just Being and Just Having by Englandwouldfall I have recced before but is now complete!! This the post-canon fic series delves so incredibly beautifully into Dean and Cas’ history of miscommunication and gives them the chance to truly talk things out, finding themselves falling more deeply in love as they do so and understand their own mistakes but also what makes them work so well together when they’re no longer under Chuck’s thumb. Each chapter feels like therapy and a brain and heart massage! It sticks the landing so well and I just love these boys so much.

Something Happening Somewhen by allthismusic (@folkbloodbaths, art by @eggchef) aaaahhh time travel young Dean brought to the future to meet older Dean and Cas fic trope my beloved. A @deancaspinefest fic, Allthismusic is a fan of the trope too and this fic is a gorgeous tribute to it and the fics that came before. Cas saves 24yo Dean from an accident and brings him to the future when he witnesses what his life will be. Will Cas have to remove his memories to stop a paradox? Sweet and heartfelt, a joy to read.

Books, Pies, and Roommates by @seidenapfel (art by @kitshay) is a @deancaspinefest two-person love hexagon, with some excellently farcical misdirection. Cas moves in to the spare room of Dean's house, but he doesn't meet him, he meets Sam, as Dean is busy working. Cas is professor but helps his cousin out as a barista and his favourite customer is Deano. Dean's intrigued by the barista but he's not his online penpal and best friend Angel. Lines blur, connections are made, and hearts are gonna get broken...or are they?

Tag list under the cut, let me know if you'd like to be added! Please reblog <3

@dean-you-assbutt-cas-loves-you

[foolondahill17]

Annual Favorite Supernatural Fic Rec List of 2023:

I bookmarked 66 fics in 2023 (and read…a lot more than that), but only 9 were written/updated in this year of our lord. SMH we gotta pump out more content, friends. Seriously though, I’ve got several more 2023 fic reads in my Marked for Later, but some are still WIPs or I just haven’t gotten around to picking them up yet. I’m sure some (like the much-hyped Lighthouse Keeper AU where there is darkness by the talented quiettewandering [@wanderingcas on tumblr]) will end up on my Bookmarked favs…but, alas, they’ll just have to wait for the 2024 recap.

The list below is in no particular order, barring the first, which has joined the ranks of one-of-my-favorite-fics-ever:

A Cliff That Knew Too Many Tides by luulapants (@luulapants)

E, early series Dean/others, 94,508 words

Partial Summary:

A canon rewrite AU diverging from the events of Some Cruel Tide, in which a shifter disguised as his father used Dean's blind obedience to molest him. By the start of S1, Dean's relationship with his father is more strained, his devotion more intense, and his life consumed by the need to hide the parts of himself he is most ashamed of.

My words:

If you’ve been looking for a gay!Dean manifesto, you’ve found it. Obviously, the subject matter is dark: warnings for past childhood sexual abuse, internal and external homophobia, past suicide attempt, and traumatic outing. It is also beautiful and heart-wrenching and scratches the swollen, itchy, weeping rash on my heart in a way that only the balm of good Dean angst can.  

Favorite part:

“I wasn’t acting out,” he blurted.

“What?”

“When I – I wasn’t trying to act out or anything.” Deacon’s presence hovered behind him like an aura, and Dean reminded himself, Don’t rock the boat. Don’t rock the boat.

Dad sighed. The line crackled, and Dean pictured him standing in a phone booth somewhere, probably huddled up against the cold. “Then what the hell would you call it?”

Dean tried out a few words in his head, imagining how they’d sound to Deacon. He ended up with, “I misunderstood. I thought I was supposed to.”

Asterism of an F-Series Ford Pick Up by disabled_dean (@disabled-dean)

M, Destiel, 17,408 words

Partial Summary:

When you've been to hell, desire is isolating and ugly.

Or: Cas drives his truck for a case and Dean is exceptionally horny about it

My words:

The way Dean’s PTSD is described in this fic, like a slow, oozing poison that awakens the longer he and Cas travel together, is tantalizing and masterful. Ostensibly, this fic is about Dean and Cas road-tripping to a case. It’s actually about how you, a monster-hunter, can come to terms (or not) with your body and soul when you think you’ve become the very thing you’re spent your whole life hunting.

 Favorite part:

"Like everything will be going fine and then all of a sudden I just. Can’t. I can't stand it. And the more fine everything is, the worse it gets and I feel-" he breaks off, eyes on his hands like they aren't his hands, thumb rubbing over and over the ring on his index finger, "It's like everyone else is living this normal fucking life and I'm still back in the pit."

Personal Space: The Final Frontier by botley

M, Destiel, Star Trek AU, WIP, 63,570 words

Partial summary

"Captain's Log, Stardate 10918.8. Captain Ellen Harvelle reporting, First Officer… Castiel… attending. After a month of bargaining with the Gehennian government, efforts to permit a search party within the Rack facilities still proved unsuccessful. Although Starfleet’s orders dictated we tuck tail and leave, I elected to disregard this decision and beam a rescue operations team down for the recovery of Lieutenant Commander Dean Winchester.”

My words:

This fic has been on my rec lists before. It’s still a WIP, but it very unexpectedly posted an update after a 3(?) year hiatus, so I’ll cling to hope until my fingernails leave a bloody, mauled mess.  This is basically a Star Trek AU where our favorite Supernatural gang are fucking around in Starfleet instead of the Midwest. Fantastic stuff – worth the read even if it does remain unfinished.

Favorite line:

"Dean made a face. Castiel decided the man was hideous."

Receding by minkmix

T, early season gen, 38,729 words

Summary:

After a visit to an old, abandoned theme park in the desert, Sam begins to notice strange lapses in Dean's memory. As his brother starts to disappear before his eyes, Sam must rush to find an answer before there isn't anything left to save... My words: A Lucky Charms fic if I’ve ever read one. Delicious, crunchy marshmallow goodness of some fantastic Dean!whump and panicked caretaker!Sam with the solid undercurrent of slightly sweetened amalgamized oat and corn cereal of a solid case fic. Yum.

 Favorite part:

“Sammy?” Dean cut him off.

“W-What is it?”

“What’s Dad’s name?”

Sam’s chest heaved as he fought himself from sounding as stunned as he felt.

“John.”

Swan Upon Leda by kelsstiel (@kelstiel)

E, Destiel real-world AU, 174,096 words

Summary:

Pediatric Surgery Fellow Dean Winchester meets baby Jack Kline and neuropsychologist Castiel Novak his first week on the job. Dean’s been accused a time or two of caring a little too much in the past and it’s hard not to care about the neurotic adoptive father and his medically needy preemie. After a series of run-ins between the pair, Dean and Cas develop a friendship that everyone else around them suspect more from immediately, though it takes them a little longer to get the memo. When Dean struggles with a particularly devastating patient loss, their mutual understanding of loss and love bring them closer in a way that neither of them could have expected.

My words: A solid, old-fashioned romantic AU. It’s unpretentious, fluffy, heart-warming, authentic and the kind of could-have-been-a-novel goodness that makes up the heart and breadth of fanfiction. Warning for infant illness and death (not Jack).

Favorite part:

"I know they say there’s a chance, but I’ve just got this feeling .” She shook her head and looked down for a moment. She looked up again and took a deep breath as if steadying herself. “I wish I could see you grow up.”

five minutes to six by saintedcastiel  (@saintedcastiel)

M, Destiel real-world AU, 23,383 words

Summary:

Castiel Novak has been the co-host of Good Morning, Lawrence! for a little over ten years when he stumbles across the story of a lifetime. But after a producer pulls the segment and tells him to forget it, Castiel begins to wonder who's really pulling the strings. Can he bring the truth to light while somehow managing to keep his co-host, and the man he loves, in the dark?

 My words: Another Goddamn quality AU. This one is a little quippier and fast paced than the Hospital AU above, but it’s full of fantastic characterization and even a last-minute breaking and entering romp. Fun that’s perfect for the whole family!

Favorite part:

“Been asking you out all week.” Dean tells him, and Castiel realizes all at once he’s right.

“Oh my god.” Castiel laughs. “You have.”

This Is Not My Beautiful Wife by luckshiptoshore (@luckshiptoshore)

T, Destiel, one-shot, 4,755 words

Summary:

“Dean,” says the man again. “This isn’t real. You need to come with me, now.”

Dean’s been zoning out again. But he can’t escape the feeling that something’s very, very wrong … and wherever he goes, a strange man in a trench coat follows.

My words: You gotta love the Djinn dream trope. This one has everything you want in a caught-in-a-fake-reality-while-your-lover-pleads-for-you-to-return-to-the-waking-world story, plus an extra dash of on-point characterization and some truly imaginative scenarios for Dean’s alternate realities.  

 Favorite part:

“We could look into adoption,” says Cas. “If you’d like. Of course we could also simply take a child, but I think that’s frowned on."

we really shouldn't be doing this by LoversAntiquities (@tragidean)

E, Destiel, 17,138 words

Summary:

After Castiel goes missing for a week, Dean finds him in an abandoned cemetery in the middle of nowhere Kansas, suffering from a mysterious welt. Only, as the hours go on, the deeper the curse grows—and Dean finds more than he bargained for, namely on every surface he and Castiel can find.

My words: This is more straight-up (not straight) porn than I usual rec, but this is a fantastic take on the from-sex-to-love fic where everyone was already in love to begin with. There’s a hefty sprinkle of idiots-to-lovers and sex-curse. Also angst, which is my bread and butter.

Favorite line:

Castiel stares up at him, his eyes gone soft, hooded. Dean thumbs over his eyelid, just to watch it flutter shut. “I’m not solely interested in you for your hands, or your mouth. They are wonderful attributes, but I don’t long for them so much as I long for you.” He leans into Dean’s palm and kisses the center. “I don’t know when I fell in love with you, but it would take the death of the universe to get me to stop.”

Postpartum Prometheus by babbyspanch, saltslimes (@dragqueenpentheus @nifedick)

E, Destiel, technically mpreg, WIP, 18,959 words

Summary

Welcome to the Supernatural renaissance. Welcome to Castiel and the terrible naissance.

My words: warning for the fact that this is technically an mpreg fic even though Castiel is an angel and not really a man. Warning, also, because this is another WIP that hasn’t been updated since the beginning of the year, so I don’t know if it’ll be finished. Basically, Dean and Cas bump uglies to unexpected results. Cas kinda freaks without telling Dean he’s his baby daddy. He also yanks out his intestines so said baby can be nice and comfortable in there. Funny and angsty.

Favorite part:

“Are those—?”

“Yeah.” He waves his hand at the door again, starting to feel like one of those used car lot inflatable men, limbs akimbo. “A total murderer looking guy just bolted that way. And not like— the regular murderer-looking people who come in.”

“And he left his organs.” Dennis thinks a moment, and then shrugs, as if this isn’t the weirdest thing he’s ever seen. He’s been working here longer than anyone Henry knows, maybe it isn’t. He opens his mouth and Henry can’t help hoping some miracle plan of action is going to fall out of it. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Um. What?”

“I don’t want to offend you.” He pauses, brows furrowed. He rolls Henry’s cup over in his hand. “What is a ‘FABINISTA’?”

Add your favorite written-in-2023 fics in the tags or a reblog!

[ltleflrt]

Hi! Okay so I came across your fic Omega And The Beast completely randomly in a comment section on Tiktok and marked it for later a while ago. Well a few days ago I hadn't slept and was running on a lot of tea and started reading it. It was absolutely amazing! I have not seen Supernatural, I barely know any of these people except for random stuff I've seen on Tumblr but I got so immersed in the fic. I was not expecting that at all tbh. Well...I kinda had no idea what to expect? Since I know nothing about them? So it came as a total surprise when I fell in love with the universe!

Absolutely wonderful fic! I am really busy these few months but I literally could not stop reading any chance I got. My heart broke so much for Cas tbh. In my head, he now lives the absolute best life with no worries at all! All the good things for him! The slow bond that is formed between Cas and Dean had my entire heart! I am an absolute sucker for stuff like that. Ahshfhhff hurt/comfort is soooo good!! My favourite scene is probably their midnight picnic. Dean completely disregarding all the rules to take Cas on a picnic...almost cried! I was yelling at my best friend about the fic the entire time too hdhdhfj. Gonna get her to read it too!

I have now started No Words...I told myself this wouldn't become a thing but I am a liar! It's slow going because like I said life is busy atm but it's such a nice reprieve after a long day! Your writing is so so good and I'm pleasantly happy with my first experience in the spn fandom

Anyway, yeah! I need to get back to work now but thank you for sharing your wonderful craft with the world and allowing it to keep me company on long days and sleepless nights 💜💜

I was at work when you sent this, and I'm stressing out about my first international trip and my first business trip, and was generally having a foggy brain day. But this message cheered me up so much that I kept opening it and reading it, so thank you. You have excellent timing 💜💜

I'm always blown away when people decide to read my stuff when they haven't watched Supernatural. What perked your interest? Are you into omegaverse in general? This was my last spn/destiel fic before I burned out, and I think it turned out pretty good considering it took me a year to write, which is usually long enough for me to forget what I'm doing or lose interest in something. It feels really good to hear that it appeals to a wider audience, because I figured it was really niche lol

(If you ever decide to watch the show, just don't watch the very last episode. Stop at 15x19 and go find more fanfic, you'll have a more satisfying experience lol)

(Also, check out this incredible fanart of Cas from Omega and the Beast by @strwbryshortie that is so stinking cute and captures him perfectly.)

Anyway THANK YOU! I'm so glad you enjoyed OatB, and I hope you enjoy No Words too 🥰

[oobshl00by]

hey yall just saw something about downloading ur fics bc a certain someone with a certain project...

drop ur faves pls so i can stock up for winter 😭

i'll take whatever you got:

buddie

destiel

steddie

lawrusso

deadclaws

lokius

macdennis

basically if it's a gay ship, im there

i'm all over the place really!! as a take;give dynamic i will share my fave buddie fic down there ↓↓↓↓↓↓↓

What's love got to do with it? (134079 words) by ColorMeParanoid Chapters: 30/30 Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Howie "Chimney" Han, Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Bobby Nash, Athena Grant, Maddie Buckley, Ana Flores (9-1-1 TV), Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Additional Tags: Light Angst, Domestic Fluff, Getting Together, First Kiss, Communication, Eventual Smut, platonic boyfriends, Unconventional Relationship, Slow Burn, In a way, Falling In Love, Not Beta Read, Friends to Lovers, Sharing a Bed, Feelings Realization, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Oblivious Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Oblivious Evan "Buck" Buckley, Coming Out, Awkward First Times, idiots to lovers Series: Part 1 of What's love? Summary: "Hear me out," Buck said. "Clearly, both of us are sick of dating other people. And we're a good fit, in pretty much every way that matters. So what if we're not in love? We don't need to be in love to be happy together." Eddie frowned. "So basically, we'd be boyfriends, without benefits?" "Yes!" Buck snapped his fingers. "Like platonic boyfriends! We'd get all the benefits of a relationship and none of the heartbreak." And maybe Eddie had finally lost his mind, or maybe it was from all the alcohol clouding his judgment, but the idea of it didn't sound half as crazy as it should have. *** After Buck’s and Eddie’s dates both end with disasters – proving once again that maybe dating just wasn’t meant for them – they decide to simply settle for each other. If there was one person in the world they'd ever trust with their hearts, it was each other. And who was a better person to date other than your very own best friend?

[vendettasfanfictioning]

Since I can't, y'know, shut my mouth, I decided it's better to make a whole ass post about this so thank you @juniperjello for asking.

Here are my Top 13 Destiel Traxx AKA Fic Recs:

And This, Your Living Kiss (M) is a GODSEND I've read this more times than I can count, I even have NerdyNerdenstein's podfic of it saved on my phone, it is that good. It stars poet! Dean relearning his love for the arts and Literature professor! Castiel, whose favorite author just so happens to be Jack Allen (AKA Dean). I also love love loved the family dynamics here, it's all so homey and cozy. The poetry in this is stunning too. Highly recommend this one!

A Thousand Lies (E) follows con artist! Dean on his latest assignment of unraveling rich businessman! Crowley's secrets by playing as his secretary, all the while juggling dates with accountant! Castiel. Except there's more to them than meets the eye, and the plot gets thicker and thicker until you find yourself stuck to your phone for more than 4 hours, hopping from one chapter to the next. Yes that's exactly what happened to me lmao I was hooked, and stories like these where the angel fam are humans are always so fun. I love spotting the parallels and whatnot.

(goldenraeofsun, author of the previous fic, has a ton of fics I highly recommend so if you vibe with their style, go check out their account! I was torn about what to put here between "The Original Apple Pie Latte", "Not the Fire, but the Spark" and this—also I'm pretty sure I have half of their works bookmarked by now 😭)

Forget-Me-Not Blues (E) has all the correct vibes of a classic early 2000s romcom. It's set in Sam and Jessica's wedding, with Dean as the former's best man and Castiel as the latter's. Oh, and did I mention they have history? A particularly roughly-broken high school love story? That they absolutely refuse to acknowledge so now the wedding prep is so full of tension it's choking everybody? Yeah... This is a good one.

An Exercise In 'Worthless' (M) is one of the first destiel fics I've ever read. At that point, I was only on S2 or S3 and had no idea what was happening or who most of the other cast was, but the vibes were immaculate and reading it again as I progressed through the show, it just kept getting better. It's got tattoo artist! Dean whose shop is set up beside Gabriel's cafe (it's called the Physical Graffitea heh). It's got grad student! Castiel attending the same uni as Sam for a niche course in dialects. It's got Dean thinking Cas is more interested than Sam (missing the heart eyes Sam and Gabe are giving each other). It's got family feels!!!!!! as these four idiots live normal, non-supernatural lives!!!!!!!

Kissing Strangers (T/E) is a happy(!!!!!) queer awakening story, wherein Castiel realizes he's not as straight as he thought when he gets kissed by Dean for a social experiment. There's actually three fics in the series, the first one covers The Kiss while the next two are insights on the progress of destiel's relationship. It's really neat, and the author—sharkfish—has a lot of fics I've been reading this past week. (They have a lot of good ace! dean and/or ace! cas fics!!!!!!!!!!)

In Due Time (Dean Winchester is Saved) (T) is not only touching as hell but also mind-blowing. 26-year-old Dean is zapped to the future by an unknown power, and what does he see? Himself, happily settled; married to an angel of the frickin' lord with a son; and his brother, still hunting. THIS FIC IS AN ABSOLUTE GEM!!!! Baby Dean interacting with Cas means So Much to me.

Broadway Musical (T) is, in my humble opinion, an absolute banger and a classic. It's got the fun, lighthearted tone of a romcom and my favorite trope of "they may all be dicks but at least there's no murder" with the angel family. It's a reimagining of the first ever Armageddon: what if, instead of being the Righteous Man himself, Dean was chosen to father the two brothers of old with Jo Harvelle, with the entire Host of angels excitedly chattering about it in heaven. Except the cupid's arrow doesn't sink in, to either Dean or Jo, and they don't fall in love. So good ol' Cas comes down to take matters into his own (awkward) hands.

Sand and Salt (E) continues off of S9 fallen angel! Castiel. The timeline is important to me for two reasons, namely: Kevin and Charlie. Destiel are highlighted at the second half but the first is just Sam, Dean, Kevin, and Charlie helping Cas settle in as a human. They go to a mall to shop and eat and bond and they are so, so precious to me.

Carnival Oasis (E) is a series as well, but it's honestly SO worth it. We have creature! Castiel who eats sin and extremely guilty! Dean who first confessed his sins to Cas as a way to gauge what the fuck he is. But then he kept coming back. They get all gooey and shit here, as they should be. Plus the reveal on Cas' background??? It made me go insane I swear.

Convenient Husbands (E) is honestly just. So good. I've reread it multiple times over the past few weeks and it never gets tiring. This one's about hunter! Dean and Garuda! Castiel forming a marriage bond... Purely for convenience, of course. I'm also obsessed with the set-up of the hunting community in this AU, they got a whole network and base and it's awesome you should definitely read it. (Annie D also has a lot of fics on AO3 that you should check out—I'm very partial to "It's Always the End of the World Somewhere"!!)

This Witch!Cas AU series is based off of probably my most favorite story prompts to ever trend in Tumblr history: it's about witch! Cas who's moved to town after his grandmother's passing. Madame Novak's will is all that everyone's talking about, as it states that Castiel needs to marry to not only inherit the estate but also to keep his magick. Gardener and shopkeeper! Dean finds this tasteless, what with everyone treating Cas like he's just some prize and not, y'know, a person. Then, Castiel makes an announcement: he ties the key to the estate to his cat's collar, and whoever gets the key may take his hand as well. Everyone scrambles to chase after the surprisingly smart feline... except for Dean, who's slowly warming up to the little guy, and the cat to him in return.

it's brighter now (G/T) is actually a series but!!! It's a babyjackverse like come on, how can you resist that? This speaks for itself and it says all you will ever need in a fic, which is BABY JACK!!!!!!!!!!

conversations between brother & sister (T) is, simply put, criminally short but perfectly encapsulated my ideal ending for Supernatural. It's two fics; the first is about Jack and Emma, and the second is about Jack and Claire. The reason this is here is because I am a firm believer that this deserves more recognition and love and we need more AUs like this. Destiel are so, so tender and sweet but the main focus is, of course, Jack's conflicting feelings. I would leave a hundred thousand kudos on this if I could.

[steddie-island]

20 Questions for writers

I was tagged by @runninriot over 2 months ago Thank you friend 😘🥰

I've done one before but I like answering these types of questions so I'm doing it again.

No pressure tagging @wynnyfryd @stervrucht @wormdebut @mugloversonly @augustjustice

Pressure tagging @v3llichor who saw this over my shoulder and said "I wanna fill one out!" 😂😘😘

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

37, all but 1 of which were posted between October of last year and now. Which I'm really proud of. 🥹 The only other fic I'd written and posted was for Frasier back in 2020.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

63,421!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I write Stranger Things mostly, but I've written Good Omens, Frasier, and Destiel (I haven't written for them in a loooong time though.)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Just Because We Get Around (Part 1 of my Fuck his dad series. Steve is Dustin's dad, Eddie is Dustin's college friend, they fuck nasty and then there are feelings. It's silly and cheesy and I still love it even if I think about renaming it at least once a week. 😂)

Mutually Beneficial (Written for this art by @2jihiir0 😌 There may be a part 2 coming if I can ever get Inspired to work on it again WE'LL SEE!)

With Extra Nuts (Eddie sees Steve in his Scoops uniform, they fuck nasty in the back room about it.)

Dustin's Dad (Has Got Me Down Bad (Part 2 of Fuck his dad, wherein Dustin finds out. 😌)

Vixen (Steve wears lingerie to a Christmas party. He and Eddie fuck nasty about it when they get home. There's a pattern here. 😂)

5. Do you respond to comments?

It definitely takes me some time sometimes but I try to! Even the ones that are just like, hearts or a laugh emoji. They took their time to not only read my fic but to leave a comment and I want them to know that I appreciate it. 🥹

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I had an answer here but I had completely forgotten about A rush kinda like the old times (I still cross your mind). It's Stommy, with Tommy reaching out to (fem) Steve after he gets engaged. There's lots of reminiscing but it's bittersweet because Tommy's clearly not happy, and Stevie isn't going to give him what he wants.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I have a transfem Steve series (Wallpaper, Long Haul, Candles) that gave me so much joy to write. I don't really write unhappy endings (IDK maybe that'll change but I kind of doubt it. to quote T Swift, "I'm just too soft for all of it.") but these three just. I'm really proud of them. Part one is Stevie coming out to Robin, part 2 is Eddie, and then part 3 is Stevie getting dicked down a happy ending to her birthday. I was nervous to write these, because I'm not trans. None of it is from Stevie's POV, it's from the POV of the people who love her. And that's what I wanted to show. A beautiful trans woman who had been through so much hell before life decided to throw gender stuff at her, getting to come out, getting to be herself, and getting so much love and support from the people around her. 🥹🥹🥹🥹

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully no (knock on wood)!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

All kinds? We have monster fucking and some good ol' sapphic steddie semi-hate fucking and some Steve playing Billy Loomis (with the softest fucking aftercare in the world, tbh). 15 of the fics I've posted are explicit (it feels like there should be more but I think that just means they're all in WIP purgatory, who knows when/ if they'll see the light of day).

10. Do you write crossovers?

I have one I've been working on for months that's a Marmalade/ Baron x Eddie fic but I also haven't touched it in months. 😅

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of (knock on wood again).

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't think so but that'd be cool!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Not one that's been posted yet but I actually have two written with my spouse that we're going to upload eventually!

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I love Steddie, I've found so much community here, but I would be remiss to not acknowledge the fact that Destiel had such a strong hold on me for years. I've made so many friends because of it, I literally met my spouse writing it.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I honestly don't know. I'm intending on finishing the ones I have started but my WIP folder is kind of daunting so. Who knows?

16. What are your writing strengths?

Even though I don't write it often I think my angst is pretty good. I've also been told that I make things feel very alive, and that's something I try hard to do, too (and am glad that I can do, I've only been writing for over half of my life even if I'm only just now posting it! 😅)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action scenes. I struggle SO HARD with action scenes. It's something I'm working on, something I've been working on for a while, but I feel like my pacing is way off and needs a lot of work.

I also can't write slow burn to save my fucking life. I just want them to get to smoochin' already!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I would do it but I would want to be so careful and not have a scenario where I translate it as one thing and someone comes along and says "she said he smells like dirty socks and liver" or something. 😂

19. First fandom you wrote for?

That I posted, Frasier. First fandom that I started writing for in general was Spn!

20. Favorite fic you've written?

This is the same answer I gave last time but I think it has to be Don't go where I can't follow, which was I think my 2nd Steddie fic? It's under 1,000 words but it's the one I've reread the most. There's lots of hurt/comfort packed into those 990 words. It was written as a kinktober prompt, written in an hour and posted in the middle of the night and IDK. I just really love it.

[bi-buckrights]

Emilyyyyy hiiiiiiiii!! I'm gonna ask you a bunch of random questions because I'm bored and I get the vibe you are too.

Favourite drink (non-alcoholic)

Do you have pets? If yes can I see them please?

Do you like sports? What sports?

What was your first fandom? Are you still involved in it?

If you could only read fic for one ship for the rest of your life what ship would you pick?

:D

Han!!! You are correct, I am bored so thank you very much for this ask ✨

Hmm favorite non-alcoholic drink has got to be coffee. (Just black, but with good beans and freshly ground) also chocolate milk

I don't personally have any pets :((( but my fam has a pup that I love with my whole heart 🥰

ROCK CLIMBING!!! it is about 75% of my personality. Other than that I don't give a shit about sports outside of buddie sports aus lmao

First fandom: ohh honestly this is a hard one because I don't quite remember what brought me to tumblr all those years ago... I feel like it was probably Harry Potter (which I am not longer a part of) but the first fandom I ever actually participated in was Voltron (fun fact, I had a blog where I posted the same picture of the character Keith everyday and treated the tags like my own personal diary and it had over 6k followers lmao)

omg. I want to say buddie because they own me, but also I always return to destiel... but maybe I'm just saying that because I'm currently reading the 400k destiel fic that I've read at least 5 times now.

Ask me Anything for Honest Hour

[gege-wondering-around]

I liked this question so much I'd love send it back! 🩵

What are your favorite tropes/plots in fanfics? And what are your fav ship to read each of the trope/plot with?

You are such a gorgeous person, I'll never thank you enough for being so kind and for helping me talk to people! Keep on shining ✨

I'm so glad you liked the ask @dontcallpanic I'll send more if you'd like, it would be so lovely to get to know you better🫂💕 (I had to think about the answer too, i didn’t think to find an answer to it myself🤣🩵)

So, my fav tropes/plots (with some specific ship related to them):

The 'to be loved is to be changed' kind of trope, which is not really what it's called, but it's like healing from trauma (or anything in general, really) through someone's love and closure (like A gets better cause B is always around) and I'm an absolute sucker for this trope, especially when it's well done and kinda realistic (I love realistic narrations, like teen wolf is supernatural but i love when the writer puts in the realistic aspect of their lives in such a universe). I like this with basically any ship I've ever read so far.

The 'true mates'. I'd go highs and lows to find this kinda trope in a fic, especially when they already kinds fit the naration of the canon or simply fits the dynamics. I love this one with Sterek, to me it's just a lovely way of being in love that makes it all look more and more lovey-dovey. (I know it's not realistc, but nothing is ever one sided, right?)

Angst with happy ending. I can't read angst if there's no happy ending, i would end up crying all day long and the fic would probably be stuck in my head forever. (I read them rarely, after i read one a long time ago it just got in my head and it still makes me cry, it was so beautiful and painful at the same time😭)

Generally, the 'first time' plot is one of the best for me. It could be sexual or not, but i always love readin them. I usually do this with Sterek and Henry and Alex from 'red, white and royal blue'. Warms my heart every time.

Gor the ships, i generally follow the same plots for every ship, like i read all of the above for Sterek (and I also write them myself) but the true mates is mostrly for the ships that ki da fits in my eyes. Like sometimes Hannigram when I'm feeling nostalgic.

For the 'to be loved is to be changed' (and yeah i took it from the tiktok trend but it fits so nicely and every single edit makes me cry) it's my favorite in basically every ship(?).

I got:

Destiel (supernatural)

Hannigram (hannibal nbc)

Sterek (teen wolf)

Vash and wolfwood (Trigun)

Newmas (maze runnner)

The oldest ad first I've ever followed, Klance (voltron)

Sherlock and Liam (moriaty the patriot - it's an anime)

Chreon (resident evil)

Let me correct myself, the oldest, first one that ever make me discover fandoms in general, Kaito and Shinichi (detective conan - yeah, I know, but it was the first one and i have to honor it by mentioning it here)

It just warms my heart cause it fits every single ship that you could think of cause it's basically what love is to its core (at least in my eyes). Like, you love someone and they love you, you two grow together and become someone else (usually a better version of who you already are) and just love each other through the whole progress and keep investing in one another. You decide to change some aspects of yourself (usually something that you don't like as well) to show your partner your love and the effort you put in your relationship.

Ok, i totally went off road with this😅

But anyway! I hope i reached some level of good with this answer, I'm glad it came from you, darling.

You're doing amazing @dontcallpanic, I'm so honored and glad my little asks (and so everyone else’s asks) are helping you talking to people! My dms are always open for you if you'll ever wanna drop something in them too, but regardless of it, my askbox welcomes you always and so do I💕🫂💕🫂

Wish you a wonderful, full of joy day, let me know if you have any more questions! I'll probably pass by your askbox again, so wait for me🫂💕💗

[dontbelasagnax]

Fic Writer 20 Questions

Thank you for the tag @lttrsfrmlnrrgby! I am so very behind on all the tag games oops

1.) How many works do you have on ao3?

Technically 41 but 35 are fics and 6 are artworks.

2.) What's your ao3 word count?  

150,270!

3.) What fandoms do you write for? 

Currently I mainly write for Star Wars (codywan) but I also write for Good Omens! In the past I've also written fic for Doctor Who, Supernatural, Hannibal, and Criminal Minds. I think there's also a She-Ra fic that never made it past a couple paragraphs in my Google Docs 😂

4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?

1- kiss it better, baby: short and sweet destiel fic exploring sex repulsed asexuality in omegaverse

2 - Some Secrets aren't Meant to be Told: unfinished reader insert Criminal Minds x Supernatural crossover casefic I started when I was a teenager and abysmal at writing. Not to further disparage my age appropriate writing skills, but the formatting makes it nearly unreadable. We all learn and grow

3 - I'll Try and Somehow Make a Meaning of the Poison in this Place: 5 firsts between codywan as friends-with-benefits PLUS 1 time as boyfriends!

4 - catch me if you can (you already have): very sweet THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED codywan fic

5 - you're cute when you're nervous: good ol' codywan fic where they fulfill their promise of "after the war"

The blurbs are necessary because I do not recognize my fics by their titles 😂

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I respond to every comment! Sometimes it just takes me a while because I've got anxiety and overthink everything. But I do always eventually reply! *glances at my inbox of 45+ comments and sweats*

6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

If you discard the blip of an epilogue at the end of what's left unspoken, your heart will ache. I wrote the epilogue because after I finished the fic, I read it through, sat back and thought "ow, what the fuck". Couldn't leave myself and everyone else with that bittersweet open ending.

7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh God. Everything I've ever written has a happy ending. I don't even know, man. Maybe my fwb codywan fic since it has so many rocky bits that the ending feels all the more sweet?

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

Very fortunate to say that I haven't!

9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes, yes I do. My smut exists as an expression of love and a vessel of emotional and physical intimacy between the characters. Even when I think I've just written something properly fucknasty, all my comments are like "wow this is so soft and sweet 🥺". Genuinely, my smut is so asexual. It's rare I write characters experiencing sexual attraction; it's all about how the characters feel, both physically and emotionally. I've not done a very good job of making this sound sexy. I promise people say it's hot too.

I really respect authors who write unabashedly horny things without the characters being in love. Hats off to you guys. I've got no fucking clue how that works!

10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I have written one crossover (the one linked in the kudos question) but I don't think it was particularly crazy. Don't think I'll ever write another crossover but I do love fusions and I've done one of Sleeping Beauty and Star Wars! I'd definitely love to do something like that again.

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

I haven't but that would be so cool.

13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Nope!

14.) What's your all time favorite ship?

Oh goodness. Well. Hm. My ships have all gotten me through the lowest points of my life thus far and led me to meet my most treasured friends. I don't think I could concretely give an answer to this because every ship is special to me in a different way. I will say that I find myself so unbelievably grateful for codywan these days. 

15.) What's a WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I have a Hannibal coffeeshop AU (Hannibal is still a cannibal, he just falls in love (unhealthily obsessed) with Will who's the only barista at the overpriced coffeeshop he frequents to get his order perfectly correct every single time) that I loooooove but I genuinely have not been able to get into the right headspace and flow to finish it.

16.) What are your writing strengths?

I'm really good at writing tender and heartfelt emotions. All the sap. It's my niche. If it's not implanted into every crevice of the fic just how sickeningly in love the characters are with one another, then it's not something I've written. I don't even do it on purpose most of the time. I sneeze and it appears on the page.

17.) What are your writing weaknesses?

I cannot possibly comprehend drafts (for fic writing). Everything has to be as close to how it is in my head on the first try. This is why it takes me so excruciatingly long to write anything. I hunker down and overthink and rewrite the same sentence five times over the course of an hour. Yes I know this isn't a sustainable writing method, HOWEVER, I've never claimed to have a good method of writing. Also, I'm not changing it. I'm stuck in my ways and I like it here. I'm cozy.

18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If not done in a very specific way, it's definitely a pet peeve of mine.

19.) First fandom you wrote for?

Doctor Who!

20.) Favorite fic you've ever written?

At the moment, it's you're cute when you're nervous. Everytime I read it--which isn't often because I like to give myself time and space from my fics so I can enjoy them properly--it hits me with violent waves of emotion. Everything feels so palpable. I just really love it.

I've got no clue who's already been tagged so, truly, these are no pressure tags: @shortcuts-make-long-delays @aquaticflames @inkformyblood @agreekdemigod @cillyscribbles

[inacatastrophicmind]

i just finished reading all that's left is hurt and what a brilliant story. all the pain and heartbreak you put me through was so worth it, so thank you for all the hard work you put into the story.

so i've got a small question because i really want to write my own destiel fic, and i hope my question doesn't come as mean, and i was wondering, how do you deal with your fics not being popular enough? your fic is amazing and it has less that 10k hits, so like, how do you find the motivation to put so much work when you see that you're not getting many hits? i know it's not the most important thing when it comes to writting, but knowing that what i write will probably flop kind of fills me with dread, so how do you find the motivation to keep writting even when your fic is not as popular and you might've hoped it to be?

i would really like to know your thoughts on this (and i really hope i didn't offend you)

First of all, you didn't offend me, anon, so don't worry. And second of all, I'm glad you enjoyed my fic :')

Okay, so to your questions. I would be lying if I said that I don't sometimes get disappointed when I see any of my stories aren't as popular as I hoped them to be. When I started writing Destiel fics and publishing them, I was always so jealous of those other fics that got so damn popular and people talked about them, because I wanted to create a story that made people talk about it, I wanted my story to be one of those that you see everyone recommend on Tumblr, a story that people think about 24/7, a story that inspires people to create fanart. Hell, I still want that, because as a writer, I want my stories to impact people in some way, just like my favorite Destiel fics have also impacted me in a way.

But as I've gotten older, I've realized that my stories impact people. Maybe it's not the kind of stuff that makes people create posts, or gifsets, or fanart, it's not a fic that everyone recognizes by name alone, but it impacts them to leave kudos, to leave some comments and to subscribe to my story because they're invested in it and want to know how it ends. And yeah, maybe it's just only 10 people or maybe it's 500 people instead of thousands of people as it happens with a lot of other stories, but even if it's just 1 single person who it's moved by my story, it's still fucking awesome. Something I created got an impact on someone. Someone, out there, enjoyed what I did.

And yeah, maybe sometimes you spend so much time and do a lot of hard work to write something and it can be heartbreaking to see that your craft doesn't connect with people. Sometimes life is like that, unfortunately. You put all your heart and work into something and it is still not enough. But I can tell you that it will be enough for at least one person, and I've learnt that even when it's only one person who comments on your story, who praises it, it's more than enough. There was one story that I wrote that I only showed to one person, and every comment he gave me about it was a boost of serotonin for me.

So yeah, writing is scary and hard. You pour so much of your heart into that craft, so it can be heartbreaking to see that barely anyone reads it or likes it, but I promise you that writing also can feel amazing. I still love writing about Dean and Cas after 10 years doing so. I still love the process, even if sometimes it can be scary. But I love writing so damn much. I feel free when I write. So if you also feel that way, I highly encourage you to write your fic and post it. It might be scary and difficult sometimes, but I promise you that the moment you see just one person leaving you a comment, even if it just consists on exclamation points, you'll find yourself smiling and you'll know that maybe you're not the most popular author, but you're still good enough.

[g0sts]

hit with tha "get to know me" tag game i love u guys! i was tagged by both @phasmama and @memosminifridge! im debby emoji fr, sorry it took me so long to get to it!

fave ships: well i apparently gravitate towards whatever the unifying thread of nandermo and jonmartin is (EDIT i fucking forgot about sted aka blackbonnet-but-i-think-im-hilarious, im in a fog today forgive me), but going further back we obviously had taakitz, preceded by destiel, preceded by johnlock, preceded all the way back in high school by tbh the blueprint of Feral Bitches Finding Each Other And Making Each Other Better And Worse All At Once... sophie and howlmovingcastle... oh wait but if we want a real throwback that still rips my heart from my chest a decade and a half later, kyo/tohru fruitsbasket. oof... gotta lie down... into the next...

first ship: well i hit on that in fave ships, but definitely kyo/tohru. back in fuckin middle school i could tell those two needed each other 😭

last song: i have spotify on right now so last one that finished was White Stripes - Icky Thump but the currently playing is yeule - Pretty Bones [EDIT from the bottom, Fleetwood Mac - The Chain is playing me out, so, that's fun for us, huh?]

currently reading: all i read is fic these days and i'll be honest i've fallen extremely behind However i'm extremely extremely invested in Alethophobia by @jay-auris and i am itching to catch up (smirk... u are not on tumblr to see this but im calling out thru the ether.... saturday.... read w me.... after pathfinder........) Literally fic of all time, yeah it's an AU but like. hear me out. it's phenomenal, it's an exceptional mystery, it's not even rly a slowburn imo they've just Been Thru It, jay is a wizard, the characterization is like. best i've seen tbh i'm Entranced and i think about it a Lot even when i fall behind

last movie: i . i think it was indeed glass onion lol

currently watching: i binged the first season of Only Murders In The Building earlier this week and am Obsessed, can't wait to watch season 2, show of all time. i'm having a mystery moment it seems

consuming: strawberry flavored water... barely... not a good food day oop im sorry

currently working on: alternating between two cross stitch projects (got one more coffin ornament Plus Another If I Am Not Out Of My Mind After This One, but my passion is in this rainbow quaker squares beast) AND in a new year's miracle, i have been Writing Again for [redacted] for an exchange (it has been literally like half a year since putting words to doc hasn't made me feel like clawing my skin off i am taking the W)

no pressure to do this if u don't feel like it! but tagging some folks i don't Think have been tagged: @wrath-of--the-lamb, @partiallyobscure, @fanfic-fugue, @space-jaam, @fivevotesdown, @nuclearparade, @gothwizardmagic, @2momsatbrunch, and tbh who ever wants to do it im tagging you too

[myladyofmercy]

I got tagged by @tessabennet to do a

8 shows to get to know me

list and she did it as a kind of watch history and I loved that method so I am copying it

1. h2o: just add water

this show defined my childhood. i was obsessed. i remember only being allowed to watch the rewatches on saturday mornings but not the premieres that came mondays through thursdays. when s3 came around my parents allowed me to record the episodes on vhs and then watch the episode the next day. when the finale aired i had a friend come over after school the next day and we watched the last two episodes even tho she already watched them the night before. in the scene where lewis walks down the stairs in slow mo she pulled out her flip phone and recorded the scene because she thought he looked so cute.

also rikki made me gay and i was always her when we played mermaids in the pool.

2. glee

my first big teenage obsession. i think i started watching when season 2 was airing. the last two seasons took so fucking long to come out dubbed that it was the first time i streamed an episode right after it aired in the us even tho my english wasn't that good yet. i also got my mom and my aunt to watch it. my aunts favorite was finn and when i read that cory had died i called her right before bed to tell her and she told me later she couldn't sleep that night.

my favorite characters were quinn and kurt. quinn made me gay(er)

also i wasn't in fandom spaces back then so i managed to escape all the crazy shit that went on in the fandom back then but i have met some new friends recently who were in it and told me some horror stories and i really feel like I dodged a bullet.

3. gossip girl

i only watched this show after it aired but it's so messy and a definite guily pleasure.

also unpopular opinion but my favorite character was jenny (i am also obsessed with her band and their music and covered two of their songs in my school rockband)

4. the originals

i always preferred the originals over the vampire diaries because i just liked klaus and the other mikaelsons more than elena and co. i also became obsessed with the soundtrack of the show and used to listen to the tracks on youtube and would then convert my faves. that's how i discovered my love for ruelle.

5. shameless

another big obsession I discovered between s4 and s5 airing. i remember crying real tears when ian and mickey broke up in s5. i think gallavich was the first pairing i watched fanedits on youtube for and also how i discovered twenty one pilots and my ultimate beloved florence and the machine. i also had a fan account on instagram at one point that got some likes from emma kenney.

6. supernatural

oh supernatural.

i discovered the show at a very low point in my life and bingewatched 10 seasons back to back while staying home from school. destiel was the first ship i ever read fic for (twist and shout anyone?) and even tho this show went on for wayyyy to long and made some very questionable choices it still has a place in my heart.

7. 911

at this point in time this show is probably my biggest obsession right now (probably because a new season is airing right now) i saw gifs of buck and abby on tumblr when the first season was airing in 2018 but only started watching when the spin off started and i rediscovered it via tumblr during s3. i have done multiple rewatches at this point and this show can truly make you laugh, cry, look away in disgust and believe in humanity at the same time.

also either buddie is the best slow burn of all time or the biggest queerbait since destiel and i am down for the ride.

8. young royals

where do i even begin with this show. it showed up on tumblr in july of 2021 and then i watched it the second weekend of the month and my life changed. since then i have started being truly active on tumblr, creating content myself, reading fanfic earnestly and by some great writers who i can call friends now, learning swedish (even tho the bird scares me), found a bunch of friends from all over the world and flew to fucking canada all on my own to visit people i met through this show. like what the fuck. even tho my obsession is a bit dormant right now they have just started filming the third and last season and as the amount of content will grow my obsession will too. i know it.

-

okay so this was a fucking essay but i really enjoyed this little deep dive into my watch history and even tho i don't expect anyone to do this I'm gonna tag some of my lovely friends (who i may or may not have found through that small swedish show at 8.)

@tooindecisivetopickaurl @i-love-semicolons @prince-simon @angelbabysimon @cloudywilmon @royalwilmon @oatmilkovich @ungaroyals @aro-of-artemis @little---versailles @cantputitintowords

[closetoyou1970]

how fast the night changes!!!!

road trip wip my beloved!! 💜

ask meme: [here]

fic inspo tag: [here]

excerpt under the read-more:

(Context / recap: post-15x19; Cas is back; established destiel relationship at this point. The angels and Amara are having a family meeting in heaven to sort out the cosmology. Dean, as a mortal alive-boy, is not invited to Super Heaven Conference 2021, so he has to drop Cas off at the heaven portal which is also a playground.)

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Sneaking into the playground in the middle of the night is easy, despite the sign proclaiming Park hours: 7:00 A.M. – 7:00 P.M. daily, and, if they weren't trying to get to the portal, it would almost be fun. It would almost feel like they were a couple of teenagers sneaking out after dark to have a drink and a smoke on the swing set, getting into the kind of kid trouble that doesn't really matter.

But instead he's here to say goodbye to Cas, even if it's just supposed to be for a few days – although, when has anything ever gone to plan for Team Free Will? – and it's not fun. It's shitty, and Dean keeps trying to blink back something that he keeps telling himself isn't the start of a crying jag, even though it's making his eyes feel all hot.

He wants to ask Cas to stay. He wants it real bad, even, but that's stupid. As much as the other angels all suck sometimes, they're Cas' brothers and sisters – hell, Jack's in the middle of this whole mess, and Jack is his kid. Jack is their kid, even if Dean can't go see him in the same way that Cas can. Cas has to go do this, the same way that Dean would show up for Sammy or Claire without question, even if Dean kind of wants to be a girl about it right now, kind of wants to cry and beg for him to stay. Kind of wants to start blubbering about how, "Cas, it's not fair. I just got you back," which has been rattling around his head and behind his teeth for the last two hundred miles of highway.

Cas hasn't left his side since Dean found him in the Empty.

Dean tries to breathe through it.

Get it together, Winchester. He needs you steady right now.

"Okay, well…" He turns to face Cas and claps him on both shoulders out of some aborted impulse to pull him close and hold him, reining himself in halfway through as he realizes that if he gets Cas in his arms right now, he's just not going to be able to let go any time soon. "You be careful up there."

Cas lays both hands over Dean's, strokes over both wrists while he talks him through it, low and soothing. "Dean, I'll be at Jack's side. There's nowhere safer."

Dean wishes that he didn't need to be gentled like a nervous horse about all this, but he kind of does, and it's kind of working. 

"Yeah?" he volleys back, contrarian for no fucking reason except that he's scared and doesn't know what to do about it. He's trying to snap like that less often, these days, but he's also trying to do less shit that puts his heart in his throat like this in the first place, and he already failed step one. "What if the Empty comes back?" 

Isn't that how the Shadow got Cas the last time, ambushing him in heaven and shaking him down for a deal?

But Cas just smiles a little, not unkindly, but with that soft, amused look he gets when Dean's said something funny on purpose, even though he hasn't.

"Dean. Do you think that the Empty has only stayed away because it's afraid of you?"

Dean puffs out his chest in response, and he's only halfway joking about it. Tries out that cocky, lopsided grin that used to charm all the girls back when he was twenty and pretty. "Could be, right? I got in some pretty good hits when I came and got you."

Cas does laugh at that, and Dean feels like maybe being stupid is worth it, if he gets to make Cas laugh. The moonlight makes him look all soft, and the laugh lines make him look all lived-in and touchable, and Dean just wants him to stay.

"Oh, dearest love." Cas smooths Dean's hair back and kisses his forehead, and the gentle pressure settles something in Dean in a way that sex never has. "I'll come back to you. As soon as I can."

Dean sees him off, all flaring sigils and holy light in place of wings that just don't work anymore, and then, after Cas goes, lets himself sink down heavily into one of the abandoned playground swings. Even though it's been years since he grew up too big for all the kid-sized equipment, all of a sudden, he can't help but feel small.

[autism-archey]

@hunter-sylvester tagged me in this, my very first tag game, so thanks hunter!! you are a pioneer of Metal Lords fan content, pls keep doing what you're doing!

3 Ships:

steddie, but listen, i don't Like season 4 of stranger things. i think the plot/writing was bad actually, but. i stuck around for steve, because damn they're good at writing characters and i loved his seasons 1-3 arc. steve & eddie have incredible chemistry that everyone else has already talked about but listen bro. what if they were t4t.

frerard, but listennn its for the DYNAMICS. i feel like frerard fics have like, mythologized this pairing into something distinct from those real people that are alive and exist. they've lifted the personas and adpoted them onto some really incredible works of fiction... there are archetypes and characteristics and relationship dynamics that i see over and over and over again, always distinctly non-normative and queer, and god dammit it gets me ever time.

i'm struggling to come up with a third... i think The Batman (2021) Selina and Bruce. actually yes this one definitely. god i fucking love those two. my heart like actually ached when she left at the end.

First Ship Ever:

This is going back a long time but I wanna say it was Stucky or Destiel that really had me first. which honestly i was right about that, those white guys have chemistry! i used to eat up post-winter soldier fics all the time and i always end up coming back to them. something about bucky on the run or holed up and scared as his memories struggle to come back, and then steve being the first person to be gentle with him. anyway

Last Song:

my god let me tell you. i listened to ethel cain for the first time today (Golden Age) and i immediately started like crying in the car and then i wrote more poetry than i have in maybe months? that was hours ago and i'm still neck deep in her discography =D

Last Movie:

Avatar: the way of water!!! Avatar is basically a new special interest for me and I'm learning sooo much about it. also this movie is Worth going to the fancy theater for.

Currently Reading:

Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins. i think this is the first time I'm rereading the hunger games, and I'm so glad i picked it up over christmastime bc 1) i got sucked into it and finished it in like a day and a half; and 2) what an incredible fictional depiction of revolution. like katniss' character arc, the emphasis on solidarity and community over and over and over again, every detail adds so much.

Vine Deloria Jr.'s The World We Used to Live In, which is packed with American Indian stories on spirituality and medicine men. i only just started it but i'm clinging onto his words like they're air. which, in the busted concrete version of the world now, they might as well be.

Currently Watching:

Dimension 20's Neverafter, which is premiering weekly rn (too slow! agonizing!!) and is just beginning, but already getting really fucking good. I keep my copy of Grimms' fairy tales in the bathroom now lol and the stories are crazy. The boy who could not fear had me at the edge of my toilet fr!!

Currently Consuming:

i mean where's the post that's like "autism costs families $60,000 a year" "all that weed im smoking"

Currently Craving:

my boyfriend come back :( when you're here you always put my head back on my shoulders the right way but it gets all messed up every time you leave

i dont think i have anyone to tag but mayve i'll edit & update with a tag later!

[the-rad-pineapple]

felt like doing asks but didn't want to wait for things to come in my inbox, so i decided to fill (most of) these out just for fun.

How old were you when you started writing fic?

17. feels so long ago now.

Where did you first post your fics?

fanfiction.net. i still have my account up there actually.

What was your first fandom?

Oh, I don't even know. But the first fandom I was really into and wrote my first fics for was Clone Wars.

What fandoms have you written for?

Supernatural, Clone Wars, Legends of Tomorrow, Arrow, Flash, Doctor Who, Forever, X-Files, Hannibal, Nancy Drew, Constantine

Romantic or gen?

usually romantic but i love writing a good gen fic

Fluff or angst?

i want to say angst since i love reading and writing it, but i feel like most of my published fics are on the fluffy side.

A fic of yours you think is underrated?

jack of hearts or The Flame of Love. jack of hearts is an angsty fic centered around jack kline from supernatural. it's one of the few fics where my vision for it matched the end result. it barely got any attention since it's a gen fic about one of the lesser popular characters in supernatural. The Flame of Love is a legend's of tomorrow casefic i wrote back in high school. i researched the fuck out of that story to make it historically accurate and poured my heart and soul into giving mick rory some angsty background. this is such a niche story that it didn't get much attention either (plus i posted it on ff.net orginally).

What's the best summary you've come up with?

I've always struggled with summaries. I can never seem to write enough, or I write too much, so i honestly don't know what my best one would be. here's the one for my most popular fic You know I love, right?

Will and Hannibal have been dating for six months, and Will knows Hannibal is the Ripper, but he has no idea how to bring it up to him. The opportunity arises when Will walks in on Hannibal cooking someone, but how will Hannibal react to the intrusion?

What's the best title you've come up with?

Ecstasy of Saint Teresa. It's based on the statue with the same name depicting Saint Teresa experiencing divinity. It follows the theme of the fic of Hannibal kissing Will and experiencing divinity.

Do you read your own fics for fun?

no. when i read my own writing, all i can see are the flaws. i internally edit my own writing when i read my fics and end up feeling worse about myself afterwards.

Do you post WIPs or wait until you're finished writing to post?

i like to wait until i'm finished writing. most of my wips and abandoned works are unpublished and will remain that way.

One-shots or chaptered fic?

chaptered fic. there is something so rewarding about completing a longer writing project with an overarching story.

What are some of your favorite tropes to write?

angst with a happy ending, pining, whump, first kiss, secret relationships, and major character death

What are you favorite characters to write?

Dean and Castiel. Their characters and chemistry are unparalleled. I love writing about both of them. All of my fics with both of them practically wrote themselves.

Have you ever or would you ever write a fic in first person POV?

I have, and this is one of my favorite fics I've had a part of writing, and it's in first person.

Is there some headcanon you've included in more than one fic?

I've definitely leaned into Dean's alcoholism for extra angst in a lot of my Supernatural fics, but I guess the one headcanon that's true in a few of my older Arrowverse fics is Leonard Snart is alive.

What's the longest fic you've written?

The Haunting of Lockwood Estates (70k words) and Yet To Come (40k words). I co-wrote Lockwood Estates, but I wrote the entirety of Yet To Come by myself.

What's the shortest fic you've written?

Frost. it's 258 words.

What's the most personal fic you've ever written?

substance abuse. i wrote that fic during one of the lowest points in my entire life, and writing destiel fic was the only thing getting me through those days. i wrote all of this story in one weekend on my phone. i was so depressed i way laying in bed in the dark the entire time i wrote it. i eventually posted it on ao3 several months later.

What's the cringiest (affectionate) fic you've ever written?

Serial Killer. It's a collection of one-shots about Harley Quinn and the Joker based on a Lana Del Rey song. I can't believe I wrote it, but the joy and crazy amount of interaction on ff.net that story gave me is definitely one of the top ones. It is one of the reasons I kept writing. I still remember reading reviews in the hallway between classes.

What's your most popular fic?

la douleur exquise. it's the hannibal fic i'm currently writing and posting at the moment!

What fic are you proudest of?

Yet To Come. this is the longest published fic i've written by myself. it took months of hard work during one of the worst periods of my life, and i somehow managed to complete it in a way i'm proud of. i really feel like i produced the best writing i could with the experience and conditions i had at the time. this is one of the few fics i wish more people would read. i still can't believe i've written it sometimes.

Fic writer asks

How old were you when you started writing fic?

Where did you first post your fics?

What was your first fandom?

What fandoms have you written for?

Romantic or gen?

Fluff or angst?

A fic of yours you think is underrated?

What's the best summary you've come up with?

What's the best title you've come up with?

Do you read your own fics for fun?

What's an idea for a fic you've had that you'll probably never write?

Post a sentence from your current WIP

Do you post WIPs or wait until you're finished writing to post?

One-shots or chaptered fic?

What are some of your favorite tropes to write?

What are you favorite characters to write?

Have you ever or would you ever write a fic in first person POV?

Is there some headcanon you've included in more than one fic?

What's the longest fic you've written?

What's the shortest fic you've written?

Do you have an abandoned WIP?

Pick out a random line from a fic you're really proud of

What's the most personal fic you've ever written?

What's the cringiest (affectionate) fic you've ever written?

What's your most popular fic?

What fic are you proudest of?