#the death being so sudden and tragic just makes it worse

[kasagia]

Right Hand IV

Pairing: Na-Baron Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x fem!exBeneGesserit! reader Summary: This is the first time you plan to do something completely behind Feyd's back. You must tread carefully with him to ensure that your plan is not exposed until it is fully implemented. However, you begin to have doubts about the role you want to play in Na-Baron Harkonnen's life… and you don't like it at all. Warning: 18+; violence; blood; Feyd Rautha; death; fight; brutality; smut; Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen's Masterlist ~•���♤♤•~ Main Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ PART III ~•♤♤♤•~ PART V ~•♤♤♤•~

You return from the harpies as the sun begins to rise over Arrakis. It took you a little longer than you thought to come to terms with them, but to your surprise, they turned out to be very cooperative.

The first stage of your plan has begun. The easiest one. Now you have to deal with the next part of it.

You reach your bedroom and close the door quietly. You lean against it and sigh, allowing yourself to rest for a moment. Thoughts race through your head as you reconsider your plan.

Killing the baron and making it look like a Fremen kidnapping and execution would be child's play. It will be much worse to convince the emperor to protect his bloodline in the face of sudden tragic events. And what's a better solution to that than marrying his daughter to the new, young Baron of Giedi Prime?

Feyd would be, by this marriage, a sure successor to the emperor. He would also probably leave you alone and take care of his new wife. If you were lucky, he would make you governor of Arrakis.

A sharp knock on the door interrupts your thoughts. You almost fall over, being able to take only a few steps forward before the door almost flies off its hinges under the force of whoever opens it.

You take a deep breath, ready to scream at anyone who dared to invade your private space like that, but you freeze when you see Feyd-Rautha at your doorstep. Very pissed off, Feyd-Rautha. 

"Where the hell were you?" He asks in a cool, controlled tone of voice. It is surprising considering he has the blood of probably hundreds of people on himself.

"Well, I guess I should be the one asking you about it. It's not every day that you're dripping with so much blood. What happened? Instead of entering the disinfection chamber, you fell into the prison drainage system?" You scoff at him and turn your back to him, taking off your black robe.

You gasp as he reaches your side in a few quick steps and turns you to face him, his hand tightening around your throat as he is looking at your eyes. Surprisingly, his hand doesn't cut off your air; he just keeps it wrapped around your throat, pressing his fingers against your pulse point. You wonder if this is a warning for you or if he's checking to see if you are real.

"Where. Have. You. Been?" He speaks hoarsely, not raising his voice at you but demanding an answer to his question, completely ignoring your mockery of him.

"With your harpies. Someone had to feed them. Ask them if you don't believe me." You answer confidently. If he's surprised or thinks you're lying, he doesn't show it. His eyes move from your face to your torso, more specifically to the place where you were bleeding profusely a few hours ago.

You shiver as he slides his hand down your throat, through the valley between your breasts, and down your stomach. He gently lifts the fabric of your nightgown and reveals the bandage on your side. He stares at it for a while in complete silence.

Suddenly, he takes a step towards you, pressing his body against yours. You feel the blood from his armour slowly seep into the fabric of your nightgown, but that's not what makes you suddenly hold your breath.

Feyd Rautha Harkonnen, Na-Baron, an heir to Giedi Prime and Arrakis, a psychopath, probably a future emperor, a man hungry for pain, suffering, and blood, rests his forehead against yours and holds you tightly to him, cuddling you. You are afraid to take even the smallest breath. You just stare stupidly at the man in front of you. His eyes close as he inhales your scent and basks in your warmth.

"What happened with you? You weren't with me when I woke up.” You whisper, keeping your gaze on him, examining every last inch of his face as you try to read the reason for his strange, soft behaviour.

"Did you want me to be there?" He asks in a whisper, still not opening his eyes. His closeness overwhelms you. His tender treatment makes you feel more vulnerable than when he held a dagger against your neck.

But what terrifies you more than that is that you really wanted to see him waiting by your bed for you to wake up—just like in those hopeless romances hidden in Giedi Prime's library. But you knew too well that your life would never be like one of these love stories. More like textbooks about the history of their family—a very bloody story full of intrigue.

"I didn't care one bit. What worries me is that you clearly had fun without me. Whose blood are you staining my clothes with?" He sighs at your question. He reluctantly pulls away from you and looks at you carefully. He places his hand on your bare shoulder and plays with your hair, twisting it around his finger.

"Fremen's. As soon as the medic assured me that you were in stable condition, I joined the units that started chasing them. We caught three sandworms and people on them." He reports to you dispassionately, with no emotion in his eyes. For a moment, you think he might be exhausted from the events of the day, but ever since you became his right hand, you never remember him showing any signs of tiredness.

"I see." You say, swallowing. Lately, his proximity has been giving you a strange feeling. It's been like this ever since he ordered you to kneel in front of him. You feel a faint blush rising to your cheeks as you remember that day. He hasn't touched you since then. Something you weren't extremely happy about.

"The Reverend Mother asked about you. The one from the Corrino." He says this and moves away from you. He slowly starts to remove his bloody armor. You look away from him as he removes his breastplate, revealing his muscular, pale chest.

His partial nudity almost makes you ignore what he said. And it annoys you that suddenly staring at his fit, well-built body seems more interesting to you than listening to the important message he's telling you. After all, that was what you were afraid of—that the Bene Gesserit would start looking at you more closely.

"What exactly did she want?" You ask, directing your gaze to your black nightrobe. As you suspected, the blood from his clothes soaked yours. You wrinkle your nose, realising you'll have to change.

"Take you away from me. I clearly explained to her that this was not an option and never would be. You're mine. They gave you to me themselves." You hold your breath as he's a few inches away from you again. Only a black loincloth around his hips covered his... intimate parts. He reaches for your cheek, tracing your cheekbones with his thumb. He pulls you towards him, pressing his body against yours again.

"Technically you took me yourself. And I never gave in to you." You remind him, watching him closely as he wraps his other arm around your waist, making sure you don't run away from him. Your heart beats faster as his fingers slip under your nightgown and trace the edges of the bandage wrapped around your waist.

"Irrelevant details." He growls, tangling his hand in your hair. He pulls you closer to him, making you rest your chin on his shoulder as he buries his face in your hair. "What happened? After you used the voice. Why were you bleeding..."

"That's irrelevant. It worked. Atreides got scared, and we bought ourselves more time before his next attempt... to make a move against us." You interrupt him before he asks a question.

The story of this particular wound and your... incredible skills was something you promised not to reveal to anyone. It was the darkest memory of your past, one that haunted you more than your memories of Arrakis. It was selfish of you to forget about the poor people you had to kill to survive, but you had worked with Harkonnens for too long to be even ashamed of it. Everyone had to look after themselves. Only monsters equal to them survived among them. Apparently, you were one of them.

He interrupts your thoughts, moving away from you. His eyes burn with a vivid, burning anger that sends shivers down your spine. You lift your chin, enduring the stern look that he wanted to intimidate you with. He scowls even more when he sees that you don't take much notice of his silent admonishment.

"You almost died."

"You're exaggerating this. I thought you of all people won't be afraid of the sight of a little blood." You respond dismissively, which only makes his mood worse. In a few steps, he walks over to you and pins you against the wall behind you. His chest rubs against yours with each deep breath. But you are calm. Unlike you, he doesn't have daggers attached to his body... unless he has them under his loincloth...

"I simply don't enjoy holding your almost lifeless body in my arms. I much prefer it when your heart beats strongly against your chest... like now." He whispers hoarsely, his nose brushing against your cheekbone. His lips are dangerously close to yours; if he leaned a little closer to you, he could brush the corner of your lips with his. You sigh shakily, closing your eyes as you are trying your best to deny this strange, sick desire for him that suddenly rose in you.

"Maybe you shouldn't hold me at all?"

Your question was met with silence and no response from him. And just when you think he's actually going to pull away from you, he grabs your hair, pulling your head back and exposing your throat to himself. You sigh as his full lips descend on your neck. He sucks on your skin, licking it before his black teeth sink into you. You gasp, reflexively placing your hand on the back of his head. You know you can't pull him away; all you can do is place your hand on the back of his neck and dig your nails into his skin as he leaves his marks on your soft neck.

You gasp when he suddenly grabs your hips and lifts you up. His hardness rubs against your clothed core as he grinds his hips into yours. You bite your lip, holding back a small moan as you feel him so close. He breathes shakily against your neck, staying there for a moment. Never in your life have you seen Feyd-Rautha Harkonne refrain from taking what he wants. That's why you're shocked when he suddenly lets go of you and walks away, turning his back on you.

"It was a very long day and I believe there is an even longer one ahead of us. So shut up, lie nicely on the bed and wait for me. I'll come over in a moment and you better fucking be there because this time I'm gonna tear down this planet looking for you, are we clear?" He asks, turning around to look at you. You nod, swallowing thickly, with your cheeks still a little blushed and your heart beating madly fast. "Good girl." He mutters and walks into the bathroom, closing the door behind him with a loud bang.

You stare at the closed door for a good while. Only when the sound of water reaches your ears do you manage to snap out of this strange state.

You place a hand on your neck, tracing with your fingertips the spot his greedy lips marked. You shudder as you hear his soft grunts from the bathroom, knowing full well what... impressive problem he's dealing with there. You blush and run to change before he comes out of the bathroom.

Your head lay on the pillow just as the bathroom door opened. You try not to stare at him as he towels off. He throws the towel on the chair next to the desk and turns off the lights in the room. You sigh shakily, listening to his quiet footsteps around the room. He locks the door with a loud click. A cold chill runs through you, and your heart beats faster as you hear him approaching the bed.

You stiffen as you feel him sit down on the bed next to you. You hear him hide something under the pillow, probably one of his daggers, before laying down next to you.

His arm slips under the covers and wraps around you, pulling you closer to his chest as he takes on the role of a big spoon. You're pressed against his naked body; only a piece of the duvet and the fabric of your nightgown separate you two. You feel your heart speed up rapidly as you feel his toned chest muscles against your back.

"Is something wrong, little witch?" He asks mockingly, as if he didn't realise how uncomfortable you felt when he fell asleep and cuddled up to you while being fully naked. Only this time you felt a completely different kind of discomfort...

"You'll be cold, Na-Baron." You say, trying to convince him to get dressed. However, Na-Baron has completely different plans. If possible, he moves even closer to you, his length brushing against your ass as he leans close to your ear.

"You can always warm me up." You snort at his suggestion and say nothing more. His lips brush against your earlobe as he presses a feathery kiss there.

His grip on you tightens, and he rests his head just behind yours, nuzzling his nose into your hair as he inhales your scent. You feel like his private stuffed animal, favourite blanket, or other cuddly toy. But you know he didn't have the privilege of having such a thing—a normal childhood with toys and so on. Just like you.

So you delude yourself that this is the reason why you put your hand on his—the one with which he hugs you—and lean more on his chest. You were doing it only in search of the rare feeling of comfort that you are both unaccustomed to and that you both silently long for, however, your rational explanation doesn't include the reason why you feel the warmth rising in your chest when you hear his soft snores before you fall asleep.

It will be better this way. — You try to convince yourself as you watch Princess Irulan and Feyd dancing on the dance floor from the corner of the room. — You never wanted him. Sure, there were... some nice moments between you two, but that's all. It wasn't even a crush. Just a few irrelevant conversations and heated meetings—nothing that you haven't experienced before with someone else.

So why the hell did you want to pierce the heart of the emperor's daughter with your dagger?

A few days have passed since Atreides attacked. Harkonnen troops cleared the area and ensured that further celebrations of Na-Barone's birthday would proceed without further incident. Meanwhile, you watched as Irulan approached Feyd as well as how the Emperor and the Baron communicated about the possible marriage of these two. And although you were happy with this turn of events, it really bothered you to look at the blonde, who was obviously flirting with your Na-Baron.

You shouldn't care. Not at all. You should be happy that the burden imposed by the Bene Gesserit has been lifted from you and passed to someone else—that another woman has been assigned to carry their fucking powerful child. But you couldn't help the burning feeling of jealousy, anger, and regret when his eyes were on the emperor's daughter and not on you.

You shake your head at your stupidity and take the glass from a passing servant. You take a huge gulp and cough, unaccustomed to the burning sensation of the strong alcohol running down your throat. But you take another sip anyway. Fuck the patriarchy and the Bene Gesserit. You're not going to give birth to any Kwisatz Haderach, so you might as well ruin your liver with alcohol.

"I see you still don't absorb alcohol well, my sweet death. It's surprising, considering how many years you've been living among the Harkonnens." You freeze when you hear a familiar voice behind you. You put your glass down and turn around in shock.

"Fevas?" You ask, shocked to see a familiar man with dark hair standing in front of you. A smile forms on your face when you see his signature mischievous smirk and the twinkle of amusement in his night-dark eyes.

"The one and only. What's wrong with you? You look like you've seen a ghost." He says it, laughing, and walks over to you. He takes you into his arms without asking, trapping you in a tight embrace. You wrap your arms around him and let yourself breathe in his familiar scent for a moment.

"Aren't you one? You didn't come to haunt me for all the times I kicked your ass in front of your friends during training?" You ask with a cheeky smirk, moving away from him. He rolls his eyes at you dramatically and gives you a nudge in the side.

"No, but if I die first, know that it's the first thing I'll do as a ghost." You laugh, shaking your head. Looking at his wide smile, you realise that you haven't felt so carefree around someone in a long time. With the Harkonnens, you always had to keep your guard up, but with Fevas... it was natural to lower your barrier a bit.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm responsible for protecting the emperor and his daughter. Since our fateful trip to Arrakis with you, Harkonnens, and the Atreides, things have been quite... boring. It's the only exciting trip I've been on since then. And a few days ago... you were amazing. I even saw the baron staring at you in pure horror. You don't know how long I will remember this picture. My people almost shit themselves with fear when you controlled us all."

"You too?" You ask with a mischievous, teasing smile, completely ignoring your surroundings.

"I admired… but I was worried about you. I went to the hospital wing, but those bald idiots wouldn't let me in. Na-Baron's order or some other shit."

"Yeah… he can be quite a pain in the ass." You nod, shifting your gaze to Feyd. He danced with Irulan. You try to ignore the pang in your heart, and without thinking much, you reach for two glasses, handing one to Fevas. The two of you make a quick toast, and you're relieved to feel the burning sensation of the alcohol masking the unexpected bitterness you feel.

"Well, since he's busy... will you allow me the immense honour of having my toes trampled by you?" You look briefly at the harpies, considering his proposition. It wouldn't hurt anyone if you will have a one dance with your old friend, right?

One of the harpies nods at you while the other two stare daggers at Irulan. And in that very moment, you decide that you will not allow yourself to become another of Na-Baron's harpies. You'd rather die than become the other jealous woman.

"I am better dancer than I used to be. You can get very surprised." You respond flirtatiously, offering him your hand. You giggle, rolling your eyes as he leans down and plants a kiss on it.

"Really? Impossible. The last time you danced with me, I had to go to a medic to heal my poor, trampled toes."

"And yet you still want to dance with me..." You reply teasingly as he leads you to the dance floor. He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you a little too close to him for comfort. But neither of you care.

You think it's nice to feel seen and desired. It was certainly better to have a charming man like Fevas than to prop up the walls at a party. Sometimes being in the shadows bothered you. And even though Fevas was... too lively for you, right now you wanted to break out of your comfort zone for a moment. You knew he was perfect for this.

You didn't realise that the blue eyes of a certain Harkonnen were piercing your companion with a hateful look, which especially intensified when Fevas wrapped his arms tightly around your waist and leaned towards you to whisper in your ear.

"Guilty. But I haven't seen you in so long that it doesn't seem like such a crime, does it? We did... much braver things in the darkness of our tents, remember, my sweet death?"

"In a blur... maybe I need a reminder?" You reply in an equally suggestive tone, licking your lips. Fevas's eyes drop to your lips. He chuckles throatily, pulling you even closer to him.

"Oh, you look like you really need one. Maybe even more..."

"Exchange." A familiar, hoarse voice reaches you. Before you know it, arms wrap around your waist and pull you away from Fevas. You gasp as Feyd pushes you onto his chest, holding you tightly against him. But he's not looking at you. His gaze is fixed on the man you were dancing with a few seconds ago.

"Who is it?" He asks coldly, assessing Fevas with his eyes. You see him staring at him dispassionately, but you know from the way he tightens his grip on you that Feyd isn't even close to being calm.

"I... It does not matter…" You stop as soon as his eyes meet yours. You swallow, seeing the pure, unbridled rage.

You hiss as his grip on your waist becomes painfully tight. Feyd frowns and loosens his grip on you a little, remembering how a few days ago you were bleeding out onto the floor in this same room. And in his arms. He ordered his servants to destroy the armour he was wearing at the time. And your dress. It's a pity he couldn't erase the memory from his mind in the same way.

"I think you've forgotten who I am to you, little witch. Say it."

"I… you are the Na-Baron." He hums dissatisfyingly, shaking his head at your response.

"Try again."

"Future Baron of Giedi Prime." Your answer was again unsatisfactory to him. You shiver as you feel him press the dagger against your chest, the tip of the blade playing with the strings holding the corseted bodice of your dress together. If he used a little bit of the dress, it would expose your breasts to his view.

"Don't play stupid, or I will punish you in front of everyone. And I wish that dirty, walking pile of muscles that had his hands on you didn't see me slapping your beautiful, little ass red. In fact, I'd rather be the only one enjoying this view, so be my good girl and tell me whose remains I'll throw to my harpies tonight?"

You hold your breath at his words. Feyd couldn't visit his harpies tonight. Not when they were supposed to be busy... getting rid of the baron's corpse. You think quickly, trying to find the best way out of the situation without condemning Fevas to a certain death. Feyd's intense, urgent gaze makes you blurt out words in an act of pure panic and thoughtlessness that you have probably never said to him before.

"No."

Your words are followed by silence from him. The chatter of the guests around you and the music make his reaction a little less terrifying, but you know him too well to think he'll take your refusal to follow his orders in stride.

"What?" He asks hoarsely, staring at you in shock.

"Nobody. He... he is nobody Leave him alone. He didn't do anything." You try to quickly correct your mistake, but one look into his eyes, and you know how screwed up you are. You gasp as he pulls you to a more secluded spot, shielding the two of you from any potential onlookers.

"Since when are you the one to judge what other people deserve and what they don't? Since when do you decide for me? Since when do you oppose me? Is this your lover? Did he have you? Tell me kindly, or I'll throw you on this floor and fuck you in front of everyone until you tell me." You're trembling, not because you're afraid he'll follow through on his words, but because you WANT him to claim you in front of everyone. In front of Irulan...

"What will your princess think of you?" You ask defiantly, raising your eyebrows. His nostrils flare as he sighs. He closes his eyes and tightens his grip on your waist and his dagger. You wait patiently for his reaction, ready for anything, even for him to stab you, piercing your stupid, rapidly beating heart.

"I don't fucking care. You're mine. Should I mark you? Carve my name on your chest? Maybe it would be better if I put my heir inside you? Then no one would have any doubts about who you belong to."

"Feyd..." His name leaves your mouth faster than you think. His heart beats faster when he hears you using his name instead of his title. The madness in his eyes slowly gives way to something else. A feeling you don't recognise. "Please. Leave him."

"Who is it?"

"Old friend. Nobody important." You assure him, desperately trying to convince him that it really wasn't someone he had to worry about.

"You slept with him?" The question catches you off guard. You blush slightly, knowing full well that you can't lie to him right now. You curse alcohol for reducing your ability to come up with lies and fake stories on command.

"I... It does not matter."

He growls, staring at you intensely, as he don't want to let go of the topic. You know that the moment you give him his name, your friend will die a tragic death. It bothers you, but you're much more worried about Feyd foiling your plan by going to his harpies tonight. You thought Irulan would distract him... enough for you to finish your job. As you can see, you had to take care of Na-Baron completely by yourself tonight.

So the moment Feyd turns to find the man you were dancing with in the crowd, you grab his hand and pull him back to you. Before he says a word, you lean forward to whisper suggestively in his ear:

"He can't compare to you." You brush your nose against his cheekbone. You smile teasingly as you hear him catch his breath at your sudden, unexpected closeness.

"No?" He asks, turning his head towards you. Your noses brush against each other, and his mouth is mere inches away from yours. You lick your lips unconsciously, completely by accident. However, this does not go unnoticed by him. His pupils dilate slightly, and his breathing quickens as he waits for your response.

"No." You whisper without looking into his eyes, too scared of what you might find there. He doesn't like that you're avoiding his gaze, so he wraps his hand around your throat, forcing you to look at him as he leans over you.

"Were you planning to run away with him? Fuck in one of those hallways?" He growls furiously, trying to intimidate you and overwhelm you with his closeness.

You swallow, carefully looking at him. Your hand wanders over his armour, moving to his neck and gently wrapping around it. You pull him closer to you, so you both can feel the others breath on your lips. You stroke the skin of his neck with the pad of your thumb, still holding it in your grip.

"I just... wanted your attention." You whisper, looking into his eyes. You feel the muscles in his throat tighten as he swallows, his pupils dilating to the point that you can see only them as he stares at you, completely surprised by your behaviour towards him.

To say Feyd is shocked is an understatement. He's dazed and confused to the point that all he can do is stand in front of you and let you do whatever you want with him. He should be used to you constantly surprising him, but even in his wildest fantasies, he didn't expect that you would be so eager to press your body against his to tease him in the same way he teased you. Feyd is not stupid. He knows your actions have a purpose—an ulterior motive that he honestly didn't care about as long as you had your hands and mouth on him.

"So what will you do now? Once you have it?" He asks, licking his lips as you look up at him through your eyelashes. His heart skips a beat when he sees your gaze linger on his plump lips for a moment. You both take deeper, shorter breaths, slowly closing the distance left between you.

"Come with me and see for yourself, Na-Baron." You whisper against his lips. Feyd growls at how cruelly you are teasing him. He had never wanted to pin someone against a wall and kiss them hard and deep as much as he wanted to do it with you now.

"You didn't answer the question. Who am I for you?" He asks, moving his hand from your neck to the hair at the nape of your neck. He pulls your head back and starts placing kisses on your jaw.

You tighten your grip around his neck and press him against the wall. Feyd blinks at you in surprise, but before he can say anything, you place a finger on his full lips and shush him. He trembles as you trace the bone of his jaw with your tongue, biting into it.

"My lord. My Na-Baron... my master." You whisper against his pale skin, effectively stripping Feyd of any little inhibitions or patience he had left for you.

You moan as his lips crash against yours. Your nails dig into his neck as he grabs the sides of your chest and pulls you onto the balcony. The metal door closes behind you with a loud bang. You gasp as you feel the cool, rough metal against the bare skin of your exposed back. This feeling quickly disappears under the sensations you feel thanks to the lips and tongue of your Na-Baron, who took advantage of your moment of surprise and sneaked into your mouth, exploring it eagerly.

You wrap your tongue around his, fighting him for dominance, moaning as he presses his body against yours. His hands deftly untie the strings of your dress at the back, loosening your corset. He pulls the fabric aside, moving his lips from yours to your neck, collarbones, and breasts. You groan, leaning your head against the door and digging your nails into the back of his head.

"Your princess is probably waiting for you." You mumble, closing your eyes as his tongue curls around your nipple. He sucks on it, biting it every now and then, making you squeal loudly as he cups his hand around your other breast and massages it, teasing your other nipple at the same time.

You're completely fucked under his touch—well, not so much that you don't remember how much fun the bastard was having with the princess just a few moments ago. You scream as he suddenly slaps your breast in a punishment.

"I only have one princess I want to please. And it's definitely not Lady Corrino." He says this before pressing his lips against yours. You moan as his hands tangle in your hair, and he tilts your head to give him better access to your mouth. You kiss him back with an equally burning passion, feeling the fire of desire ignite inside you with each of his touches.

"Lady? Since when have you been a gentleman?" You ask mockingly as he moves his mouth to your neck, nipping at it and littering it with hickeys.

“Would you prefer it if I called her a whore? Maybe I should really claim you right in front of her... Would that calm down your beautiful, burning jealousy, my little witch?” You growl at him, moving your hand to his hardening length and squeezing him painfully. He groans against your neck and bites into you in retaliation, making you let out a hollow scream.

"I'm not jealous. I can always go to Fevas for pleasure if you're too fascinated by the princess to notice anything else." You huff, not wanting to give him any satisfaction by letting him know that his closeness to Irulan bothers you. But why do you feel envy while watching them two together? That was your plan. He was supposed to finally leave you alone. So why is it that when the opportunity presents itself for him to become interested in someone else, you desperately cling to him and pull him towards you?

"Hm... so this is your mysterious man? Fevas..." You tense up when you hear him repeat your friend's name. You cup his cheeks in your hands, forcing him to look at you.

"Don't kill him." You ask him, knowing full well that he will refuse. But despite everything, you cling to this stupid hope, not knowing why you care so much about keeping Fevas alive.

"Why?"

"Because I ask you. Please." For the first time, you look at him desperately, knowing full well that all you can do is beg him to change his mind. Because if Feyd Rautha Harkonnen decides that someone is going to die, then even the Grim Reaper won't be able to save the poor man from him.

"Do you love him?" You know the answer to his question perfectly. However, it scares you too much to say out loud what you think and to admit to him and to yourself what you have been running away from for so many years. Apparently ineffective, since your first response was supposed to be:

No. I love you. And it's ruining my life.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, you weren't stupid or brave enough to say it to his face.

"I am a Bene Gesserit. I don't love anyone." You answer coldly and without emotion. He stares at you for a moment before pushing you away from him. He no longer looks you in the eyes, though his eyes are still glued to your half-naked form. He stays in silent reverie for a moment, then breaks it with a bitter, hoarse laugh, shaking his head.

"And I am a Harkonnen. We don't obey anyone." He growls impassively and pushes you away to get to the door. He returns to the party, closing the metal door behind him with a loud bang.

You shiver as you are left completely alone on the balcony. You try to swallow your humiliation and hurt pride and tie your dress to gain back some of your dignity. Once you've improved your appearance enough to show yourself to other people, you decide to leave to join Feyd's harpies in the dungeons. Along the way, you try to ignore how Feyd flirts recklessly with Princess Irulan.

It will be better this way.

You repeat it to yourself like a new mantra or slogan. Or at least that's how you try to drown out the cries of your wounded heart, which desperately begs your mind for a little mercy.

But if you learned anything from Feyd Rautha, it was that mercy was an overrated thing.

And if you've learned anything today... it was that you have truly become Feyd Rautha's fourth harpy.

If it wasn't a sign of weakness, you would have covered your nose to avoid inhaling the disgusting smell that lingered in the dungeons. You might have expected that the harpies would show no mercy to the baron. You weren't here to save him yourself. Just the opposite...

"The little witch looks angry…"

"The little witch was right, we are having a lot of fun."

"Does the little witch want to join?"

You give them a sadistic, proud smirk when you see the baron's condition. You shake your head and address them as sweetly as you can.

"Maybe in a moment. I don't want to take away all the fun from you. Can you leave us alone for a short while?" The women nod at you and slowly leave the room, keeping a close eye on the barely surviving baron. You wrinkle your nose as the door closes behind them. You take a few steps towards Harkonnen and stop right in front of the large pool of blood that has formed from all the wounds inflicted on him.

"So it's you… I thought my nephew was responsible for this. Ironic… get rid of me with one of my gifts to him."

"I think we both can agree that Feyd would be more than capable of it. After everything you did to him… I'm surprised he didn't try this ages ago." You reply indifferently, taking great satisfaction in seeing him like this��on the verge of death.

"You don't know our ways, witch. You may have studied and lived with us for years, observing from the shadows, but you know nothing about the Harkonnens." You tense up, offended, and angry at his words, but you do your best not to let it show. You came here to enjoy the death of the most disgusting man you have ever met. You won't let him spoil this solemn moment.

"Possible. But I know enough to convince the court and the great houses, and even the emperor himself, that the Fremen are behind your sudden, unfortunate death. Besides... I doubt anyone would cry over you."

"The same goes for you, witch. My nephew did well to make you his right hand. I'm sure he'll get rid of you as quickly and suddenly as he took you in. Harkonnens don't take wives. We have no equals. Whatever you think, you are living in pathetic delusion. You'll end up just like me. Or the boy will hand you over to these old women when he gets bored of you." A cold shiver runs down your spine at his words.

You had considered such a scenario several times, but the Baron and your interaction with Feyd today made you realise that you had to consider this turn of events to be... the most likely to happen. You guess you have to prepare for suddenly leaving Giedi Prime... and Feyd's side. Your heart clenches painfully just thinking about it.

"That's very possible. But at least I survived you." You answer and take out the dagger that you managed to steal from Fevas. You take aim and, with a small smirk, throw it, hitting the baron's throat. You were too disgusted to lay even a finger on him, in order to hurt him. You turn away and leave the room without giving him a second glance, knowing full well that Feyd's harpies will take the revange for anything he did to his nephew better than you. "Ladies! You can finish now." You announce this to the harpies as you leave the cell.

They scream excitedly and almost rush back towards the baron. You walk forward, but a sudden pull on your hands stops you. You raise a questioning eyebrow at the oldest concubine.

"The little witch shouldn't listen to this old man. The master likes the little witch very much. He threatened to kill us if we did anything to her." You frown at her sudden confession, but you don't question why she's doing it. You decide to brush it off.

"I think we both know that he... likes to break his favourite toys only by himself."

"But not a little witch. When the little witch was bleeding, the master became furious. The master almost killed his uncle when he ordered him to kill the little witch. The master watched over the little witch until the doctors said that the little witch would survive. And he told us to guard her door while he went away to kill the people who hurt her."

"I… I really appreciate you telling me this. Join your sisters. I'm sure you don't want to miss the feast."

"Little witch." She calls after you. You turn to look at her. "We can share the master with the little witch, but not with the princess." A smile creeps onto your face. Hearing that from her is the best compliment she can give.

"I'm afraid neither of us has any say in the matter."

"The little witch is smart. The little witch is too smart to think like that. The little witch has to know that the master is crazy about her from the begining." You blush at her words, your stupid heart speeds up, and your too vivid imagination presents you with various scenarios of what could have happened if Feyd... had claimed you at the very beginning. But you couldn't turn back time. You didn't want to.

"Desire makes us weak."

"Maybe. But it is also very pleasant." You smile and nod. She responds in kind and disappears behind the cell door. After the baron's scream, which is muffled by the door, you come to the conclusion that he is clearly saying goodbye to this world. Just as he should. Alone. At the hands of women whom he mentally destroyed to make them good pets, whose task was to arouse his nephew's cruelty and bloodlust.

While walking through the corridors, you come across one of the servants. He tells you that the Na-Baron requests your presence in his chambers. You frown, convinced that the last thing Feys wants to do today is to have you close to him, but you head towards the familiar rooms.

After a very short walk, you reach his chambers and open the door. You stand frozen in his doorway at the sight that greets you.

Fevas is chained. His hands are chained to the ceiling as he is hanging above the floor. His chest is cut multiple times, and his blood drips onto the white fabric placed beneath him. You tense up as Feyd's hands are on your shoulders, holding you firmly in place as you stare at the unconscious, bloody man who is either dead or within a whisker of death.

"What the hell is this?" You growl angrily, trying to turn to look at him. Feyd, however, holds your waist tightly and grips your jaw, making sure you keep your eyes on Fevas.

"I thought you'd appreciate seeing your secret lover after I brutally separated you. Where have you been? Looking for him? Maybe you were supposed to run away together, but he didn't come?"

"I leave you alone for a few minutes, and you start creating absurd stories and tormenting a poor, innocent man?" You mock him. His grip on your waist tightens as he gets more furious with every passing second.

"A man who had the privilege of enjoying what was not his." He corrects you, growling hoarsely into your ear.

"I'm not yours either. Will you kill Irulan's former lovers too?" You ask sarcastically, struggling against his grip. He growls in your ear, shaking you gently but keeping his grip on you firmly.

"I don't care about that royal bitch."

"You should. After all, she is your future wife. The mother of your heirs..." He doesn't let you finish. He tightens his grip on your throat, preventing you from speaking, and pushes you against the wall, pressing your body against his. You shudder as you see him gasp in rage, glaring daggers at you.

You tremble as you feel his fingers spread Frevas' blood on your neck. He breathes heavily, tightening his grip. He leans forward and presses a bruising, aggressive kiss on your lips. You know this is supposed to be a punishment for you, but you can't help but moan and clutch his arms as he kisses you so intensely, pulling all the oxygen out of your lungs.

You gasp, noticing a strange ache in your neck as his lips continue to caress yours, but you choose to ignore it. For a moment, you forget about anything other than him. Even the metallic smell of blood lingering in the room fades away with the feeling of his lips on you.

His other hand moves under your skirt, his fingertips gently caressing your thigh, avoiding the dagger attached there as his hand slowly climbs up your leg. You moan into his mouth as his fingers tease your pussy through the fabric of your wet underwear.

He breaks the kiss, kissing the line of your jaw. You breathe heavily, whimpering softly as he continues to work on your clit, peppering your face with kisses at the same time. You dig your fingers into his arms, desperately holding onto him as you grind against him, chasing the release he's denied you for days.

His fingers wander under your underwear, making you moan louder. Your forehead leans onto his shoulder as you gasp as he ruthlessly pushes his three thick fingers into you.

"My little witch is so quiet and obedient when full of fingers. I'm sure if I impaled you on my cock, if you had kept it deep inside you day and night, you wouldn't even dare to think about letting someone else take your place, right? Maybe that's what I should do? Maybe I need to breed you and fill your lower lips so that the other ones will shut up and stop talking nonsense?"

"Feyd..." A needy moan of his name escapes from you before you can bite your lip. All you can do is hold on to him for dear life, wrapping your legs around his waist as he keeps you pinned to the wall and on his toes.

"You make such beautiful sounds... it's a pity you've been acting like a brat lately instead of like my good girl. You understand that, in this situation, I cannot reward you." He mocks you, pulling away from you moments before you reach your peak.

You growl at him angrily and reach out to finish what he didn't want, but he grabs your wrists and pins them to the wall, grinding his crotch against yours, teasing your desperate, abused pussy even more. You scream, trying to fight him. He effectively silences you, kissing you hard, chastisingly, and biting your lower lip until it bleeds. You are at his complete mercy. And dear Lord, you would let him do anything if that meant that he would let you cum.

He presses his body against yours and holds your face in his hands, forcing you to look at him. He leans down and licks the tears of frustration from your cheeks, sloppily licking your face at his discretion.

"Can you think for a moment or have I finally made you think with just your needy pussy? Is this what you want? For me to take another woman? For me to treat her the way I treat you? For me to leave you on this damn desert? Because I can, Y/N. I can fuck the other women, become emperor the easy way, and give you damn Arrakis, but you have to look me in the eyes and tell me that's what you really want."

You stare at him in shock as he continues to hold you close to him. This is what you wanted—exactly that scenario and turn of events. You could have been finally free—free from all of Bene Gesserit's prophecies and plans.

"I... You would let me stay here? Would you let me be the governor of Arrakis? You would marry Irulan?" You ask, disbelieving that he would ever let you go from his grasp, convinced that he would rather kill you than let you leave his side.

"If that's what you want."

"It... it is..." You say this, feeling a lump growing in your throat. Your heart beats insanely fast as you desperately try to convince everyone—you, him, and your stupid heart, which is begging you to change your mind—that this is exactly what you want.

But you had definitely come too far to slip into his arms at the end and become his wife, concubine, or whatever he wanted you to be, just because you were horny for him. Desire makes us weak. But was it just lust that connected you with him?

"No. Not like that. Look at me and tell me exactly what you want me to do, my little witch." He orders, looking at you defiantly. This is a very small payment for what he offers you. Your dream future is within your reach; all you need to do is say these few words.

"I... I want you to... to marry... I..." The lump in your throat grows. You can't say anything as you look into his icy blue eyes, which pick up on your uncertainty. But she's not the only one thing holding you back.

You physically can't speak. You can't lie to him and say you want him to marry another woman and forget about you, to leave you alone on Arrakis—a place that should have swallowed you up years ago. You just can't. Your eyes widen as you realise what he's done to you.

"You son of a bitch… Which Bene Gesserit witch gave you the truth serum?!" You ask, furious, realising what he injected into your neck during your little hot session.

"This is of little importance. I was going to use it on you and ask you about your secret lover, but he himself told me a bit about your past. With a bit of pressure from my side, of course. Now, before this miracle product stops working, look me in the eye and tell me you don't want me. I dare you. Reject me like you did countless times before, my little witch. And I will gladly leave you alone."

The smirk on his face grows with every second of your silence. Your blood boils, and you feel immense rage, pursing your lips as you glare at him with hate. What's more, the bastard has the nerve to laugh at you.

"That's exactly what I fucking thought." He growls and kisses you. His lips caress yours, tasting you as if you were the only thing that could quench his thirst. He holds you tightly as if you were the most precious thing in his possession that he is afraid to let go of, even for a moment, for fear of someone stealing you from him.

You place your hands on his shoulders and pull him closer to you, letting your lust for him take over all of your senses. There was no turning back. Not after he found out that you are not indifferent to him at all and that the future with him does not seem as scary and terrible to you as it was at the beginning.

"You had no right to treat him like that." You say this as he manoeuvres you around the room and past where Fevas is still hanging from the ceiling. He pushes you deeper into his chambers and closes his bedroom door behind you.

"As if you wouldn't do the same to the emperor's daughter, if you could…" He responds sarcastically, stripping off his armour and not wasting a moment, as if he were afraid you would change your mind and start fighting him again.

"Shut up." You use the voice on him with a cocky smirk. He lifts his head, staring at you in surprise. You step back, sitting on the bed, keeping your gaze on him the entire time. "On your knees." You order in a low, suggestive tone of voice, not hiding your smirk as he is forced to obey your command right away. "Come to me." You command him, your eyes glistening dangerously as you notice his length twitch beneath his loincloth. "Good boy." You say teasingly, stroking his head as he kneels between your legs.

"Are you aware of what kind of dangerous game you are playing right now, my little witch?"

"If I were still a full-fledged Bene Gesserit, I would probably put you to the gom-jabbar test of humanity right now. You put your hand in the box, and you feel unimaginable pain until you prove that your awareness is stronger than your instincts. I'm sure Irulan or another Bene Gesserit was assigned to do this to you. I barely managed to stop one of them from giving you... a drug that would make it easier for her to convince you to extend your bloodline through her womb. Back to the topic... we both know how this test would end for you, right? How quickly would you get horny? How quickly would you tremble for release? How quickly would you show me that you love it when I hurt you, my Na-Baron?"

"Don't torment me, witch. You've been doing this for too long." He growls, moving his hands to your legs and pushing the fabric of your dress higher as he exposes your legs to him.

"You're right… why put your hand in a box when it can be useful elsewhere? Undress me." He laughs hoarsely, having no choice but to obey your command.

"You don't have to use the voice on me to make me follow this kind of orders."

"I thought the Harkonnens did not obey anyone?" You ask defiantly, raising an eyebrow at him as he licks his lips, carefully examining every inch of your (finally) exposed skin.

"I thought the Bene Gesserit didn't love anyone?"

You did not answer. You lean down, cupping his cheeks in your hands, and kiss him passionately, finally allowing yourself to express all the feelings and desires you had been hiding deep inside for so long.

"I need to feel you." He growls, pushing you onto your back. He climbs up you, placing kisses all over your body until he's hovering just above your face. He stares at you for a moment, spreads out beneath him, ready to finally take him in, and decides that his fantasies are a poor comparison to the real thing.

You both moan, resting your foreheads against each other as his pre-cum, leaking hard length, rubs against your wet entrance. You wrap your legs around his hips. You run your hand down his spine, sinking your nails into his neck as he abuses yours, kissing, nipping, and marking it as his property.

And when he is finally about to unite you and get rid of the tension between you for good, someone knocks on his door. He groans in protest and leans in to kiss you to shush you when you let out an uncontrollable laugh at his reaction to the sudden interruption.

"You should go." You say as you manage to place your hand on his chest and gently push him away from you. "This could be something important."

"Woman… how much patience I spent on you…" He growls, pressing his forehead against your temple. The knocking on the door is more insistent. His brother calls out to him furiously, and you can't help but smile as you watch his internal struggle.

Seeing your amusement, he spanks your pussy. You scream, trying to block out the sound against his shoulder so that only Feyd can hear it and not his brother, who is banging on the door. He chuckles, burying his nose in your hair and inhaling your scent.

"Stay here. Don't move an inch. I will be right back. If I don't find you in this bed naked and ready for me, I will beat that ass of yours red. You won't be able to leave these chambers for a month." He gives you a threatening warning. You roll your eyes and pull him into a kiss, teasing him and pulling away from him in a moment when he wanted to deepen it.

"I'll be waiting." You promise, out of breath after the kiss. "On the way, tell your servants to take Fevas to the infirmary."

"Next time I will kill him without hesitation. Or any other lover of yours."He promises as he puts on his clothes. You crawl to the edge of the bed and help him put his armour on faster.

"I am very aware of this, my Na-Baron." You reply snidely, still kneeling on the bed and dressing him. He rolls his eyes at you and smirks mischievously as he reaches up to pinch your nipples. You squeal, punching his shoulder. He laughs and cups your cheeks, pulling you in for one last kiss.

"I'll be back in a minute." He promises and leaves, making sure to close the door behind him quickly enough so that no one has a chance to look inside and see you naked in his bed. After all, this was a view reserved only for him.

You fall onto the bed, giggling stupidly like a teenager, as you wonder what his reaction will be to having the opportunity to fuck you as the Baron of Giedi Prime.

A cold chill runs through you as you hear footsteps in the main room. You downplay it, thinking that it was the servants who came to clean up the mess Feyd made, but too much silence starts to make you suspicious. You stand up and put on some clothes before reaching for the knife attached to your thigh.

You open the door and slowly leave the room. Fevas was gone, but something was still bothering you, giving you a strange feeling of being observed. You could feel someone's presence on your back.

You avoid a sudden attack from behind and quickly cut your attacker's throat. Before you can turn around, you receive a powerful kick in the back. You stumble and fall forward, but quickly get back up, taking in your surroundings. Three women dressed entirely in black slowly surround you, each of them armed to the teeth. You tense up, ready to use the voice, but just as you're about to, you're grabbed from behind.

You only manage to stab your attacker before a cloth is placed against your nose. You struggle, trying to fight the women as hard as you can before the sedative takes effect. After a few moments, however, darkness enveloped you. But before you lose consciousness completely, you notice the familiar Bene Gesserit symbol tattooed on the women's wrists.

What catches your eye most before you hit the floor is the familiar skirt of Princess Irulan's dress.

To be continued...

Taglist: (I REALLLLY hope that everyone who wanted to be here is here...😅 I;m sorry if I missed someone <3) @skymoonandstardust @prettybubblesintheair @thegabbyh @himesuedi @wo-ming-bai @beebeechaos @mamawiggers1980 @moonsoulk @avidreader73 @heartarianagran @dreamlandcreations @ancientbeing10 @lovereadingfanfic @jeansjoie @workof-a-rr-t @aixicl @ladyredstar1991 @evangelineimagine @hobobobo-fett56 @happyant3 @marsflys @aaaaaamond @kamcrazy123 @k1swass @yum-yahgurt @tyns13 @oh-you-mean-me @menari @tyns13 @vaf24 @dacreshoney @emrennoll-blog @tian-monique @slightlypossessed @celestialadrift @lauramooij05 @flaps200 @chixnugg22 @aaaaaamond @marvelfangirl04 @sw33tsnow @emeraldsgirl @imyourbubblegumpop @tempt-ress @harkonnin @k1swass @alana4610 @cloudroomblog @lotus-888 @lowlyloved @spoolsofgreenspoolsofblack @w3ird11 @kythefangirl25 @hobobobo-fett56 @nj452896 @oneandonlybbygrl @noirecatt

[purple-raspberries]

Happy Holidays! I spent it sketching FranklyDear angst!

Remember the hanahaki post?! Yup!

CW// puppet body horror with flowers, floral angst

[click for better quality]

:D

I liked thinking that Eddie, being the more emotionally open of the two, would be more prone to rapid flower growth. Maybe they’d pop out of his mouth, symbolizing his inability or unwillingness to speak out his feelings. The flowers coming out of the heart area are another detail I liked using for all of them! Eddie, I think, would let them build up inside him until they burst through and people start to notice. A hopeless lover. (I spent too much time drawing him haha!)

Frank, on the other hand, would actively cut them out as they built up inside him and made movement difficult. He seems the type to repress everything “unnecessary” or “silly” given the above mentioned situation (unwilling or unable to express love) in order to appear proper. This would also be a figurative act of rejecting those feelings that the flowers represent. Of course, ignoring an emotion often just makes it worse. He’d be the worst off, I think, if the disease got exponentially worse the more you tried to suppress your emotions. Does hanahaki work both ways? Does it work on perceived unrequited love or actual unrequited love? Let’s pretend only one of them has it in each situation :)

But how does the hanahaki get cured in puppets? Magic? Sudden glitter? Invasive surgery with a dose of blooming romance? Do the blooms wither with a slow recovery (sick fic + recovery)? So many options!

Edit: Perhaps instead of death it’s somehow worse. You become essentially a living bouquet or flower bush/patch. Rooted to a spot, uncomfortable and unable to move or speak until your body falls into such disrepair that you simply stop. Oh, what a tear jerker that would be. A too-late to be saved situation with a tragic ending :,)

[sinisterexaggerator]

Final Straw

Nick Valentine x Fem Reader | Ao3

Summary: You're sick to death of listening to people insult and belittle Nick; you take matters into your own hands, much to the Synth's surprise, but your methods are a little bit unorthodox.

Warnings: None, except for blood, violence, and foul language. NICK GETS SUPER PISSED AT YOU, and you also share a kiss. 💋

IT'S FLUFF.

Notes: This is SELF-INDULGENT AF. I hate it when people insult Nick in the game. This is my way of getting them back! And I want to kiss him and tell him I love him so bad. ;-:

Word count: 2k

It was the final straw, the one that broke the brahmin’s back, Nick Valentine left to defend himself against hate and bigotry for the umpteenth time, and you would not be party to it.

For so long you had traveled by Nick’s side, learning of the many facets to his personality. If there was a single thing about him you did not like, it had to be the ease with which he practiced self-deprecation, not knowing how to remedy the awful perception he had about himself.

Oftentimes, he regurgitated what came out the mouths of others; it had been internalized, compartmentalized, processed, and stored in his long-term memory, the detective unable to let things go—just like so many cases that remained unsolved.

“Shit, a Synth— don’t come near me. What a freak, thinks he’s human…”

“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t go near you if it meant tomorrow I’d wake up from this nightmare.”

Your soul ached, knowing that every insult, every snide remark caused some level of psychic damage to your partner, his expressions all too readable for those times he was robbed of his fragile dignity, though always walking away the bigger man.

A culmination of varying factors led you to this, Nick’s tragic past haunting not only himself, but you; what you wouldn’t give to make it better, only wishing you had the power to convince him he was worth more than half the Commonwealth combined.

If Valentine could equate himself to nothing more than garbage, you could be the one to remind him that someone else’s trash was frequently another’s treasure— in this case, he was yours.

Though not privy to your feelings, you adored Nick completely. So much so, you were not above engaging in a physical altercation on his behalf.

“Say that again,” you threatened scathingly, turning to face the asshole who had just dared to disrespect your companion, and for no good reason.

“I said he’s a freak, lady—and what’s a pretty thing like you doing traveling with him, anyway?” the ill-mannered caravan guard asked, acting as if Valentine was some disease he could catch, making a blatant show of his disgust. 

The hired gun pulled no reaction from the Synth, though Nick stared at you tight-lipped, unnatural, glowing eyes trained hard on your face. His silence spoke volumes, instructing you with a stern look beneath the shade of his hat to drop the matter and turn the other cheek—it was something you weren’t willing to do this time, meeting your newfound enemy head-on.

“Apologize!” you demanded, shoving your adversary backward with a forceful push, both your palms making contact with his ribs. Your cheeks burned, accompanying a rise in your temper, readying yourself for if this vermin should do anything but grovel at Nick’s feet.

“Forget it, this guy ain’t worth it,” Nick offered laconically, hoping to appeal to your common sense. “I’ve heard worse in my time; being called a freak is the least of my concerns.”

“But you’re worth it!” you protested, Valentine’s forehead arcing upward at the conviction in your voice. He had a momentary lapse, his concentration faltering as he tried to get a handle on the situation, Nick having visualized an entirely different outcome based on variables that were currently in flux—namely the sudden change in your mood.

It seemed the shithead had caught on, smarter than he looked, eyeing the two of you with suspicion and derision, as if the very idea you could have feelings toward this hunk of junk was baffling when able-bodied, strong men like him existed.   

“Oh, I get it. You’re real sick, lady, a real pervert—you fucking a machine? What’s the matter, human men aren’t good en—”

The jerk was cut off mid-sentence, your balled up fist coming into contact with his jaw; a resounding crack split sound waves as blood spurted from his lips. His colleagues had already wandered off down the road, not wanting to be a part of whatever trouble he had found himself in, having silently agreed to let this member of their team fend for himself.

“You fucking bitch!” the guard twice your size growled, swinging wildly only to miss. Your leg extended; you were pleased when he stumbled, only wishing he had fallen flat on his face.

“Now, wait a—”

He was quick to right himself, spinning on the ball of his heel—you were quicker, kneeing him in the nuts so hard he doubled over, but you weren’t finished yet.

Lifting your arm to gain momentum, you drove the point of your elbow into his spine, causing the offender to drop onto the dirt at your feet.

“I'd say he's down for the—”

Nick couldn’t get a word out; you didn’t appear to be listening, the android observing your uncharacteristic actions with rapt concern. You were pounding your knuckles into the bastard’s nose repeatedly, sticky crimson coating your fist and the man’s sorely wounded face.

As if coming to from a trance, Valentine whisked forward, snatching your wrist before you could cause the poor schmuck any more damage, thinking he may look worse off than even he, what with his bare wires and metal frame exposed to the elements.

“Hey! What’s gotten into you?!” Nick barked, his tone alone condemning your inappropriate conduct, the Synth yanking you up so fast you audibly gasped.

“There ain’t no excuse for this—this guy may be a jackass, but that doesn’t mean he deserves to die!” Nick protested, brows knit in anger the likes of which you had never seen.

You glanced down, only now seeming to notice the extent of his injuries; the man was out like a light. You only cared because he did.

“Nick, I—” you began, voice quavering, losing all resolve as you had been forced to witness Valentine’s sweet disposition vanish, quickly replaced by something undeniably frightening.

You never once imagined yourself to be the victim of his choler, finding you absolutely hated it, breaking down all at once to cry despite not meaning to. You felt simultaneously overwhelmed by guilt and embarrassed beyond measure, unable to look him in the eye.

“Don’t Nick me, this isn’t like you, this—” The man froze, his grip slackening as he loosely held on, thoroughly confused by how you could go from nearly murdering a man in cold blood with your bare hands, to shedding tears in the span of under a minute; he moved to grasp you by your shoulders.

“What’s going on?” he asked, perplexed, the question dry on his tongue. He searched your face for any hint of what the matter was, wondering if you’d lost a screw sometime after leaving Diamond City, as he thought he had a handle on how you operated.

You could not will yourself to respond, vision clouded, droplets pelting your cheeks as you gazed at the ground. You felt worse than a scolded child; you had never meant to upset him so, it being decidedly more terrible than any physical pain you had yet to endure.

“Look at me, damn you!” Valentine demanded, gently jostling you back to the present moment, though your tears only increased, Nick having never cursed at you before.

“Valentine,” you whispered, eyes shimmering, Nick’s fury subsiding to a dull roar as he waited for you to explain yourself. The crease of his brow evened out, the Synth notably more relaxed, though he did not trust you wouldn’t lash out again.

“Go on,” he urged sharply, wanting to get to the bottom of your behavior. It was unnerving, not knowing what else you were capable of at the drop of a dime.

It was an understatement to say that he was surprised when you lifted your arms, pulling the man forward to enfold in your tight embrace. You buried your cheek in the tattered, stained fabric of his coat, crying more softly now as it started to rain.

“Don’t listen to them,” you pleaded, “don’t ever listen to them. You’re perfect just the way you are,” you spoke with earnest, your lips pressing a tender kiss to the spot that lacked a heartbeat, though the gesture stood apart on its own.

“I can’t stand it—the way people treat you, the way they talk down to you—if only they knew—if only they could see what I see—” you sobbed, the sound of your cries muffled against his chest; it was firm, his shirt smelling like coolant and ozone—cigarettes mixed with something earthy—you breathed in deeply, overcome with silent relief when Nick placed his metallic hand on the crown of your head.

“I... I appreciate you, doll,” he started, his voice turning toward a soothing cadence, the way he pet your hair in long, slow strokes comforting you more than it should. “But you didn’t have to do that; would have preferred if you didn’t. Jerks like him get their comeuppance, but it shouldn’t be at the price of dirtying your hands.”

You had never been this intimate with him, nor had you ever planned to be—his words were unscripted, and his affection given of his own volition. You curled in tighter, nuzzling your way into the crook of his good arm, wanting to entomb yourself there for all eternity.

“I’m sorry,” you offered apologetically, feeling the pressure of Nick’s own arms around you, returning your hug, making you feel as if you could die happy at this moment, not minding in the least that there was an unconscious, bleeding man lying only a hairbreadth away. “It hurts me, like I know it hurts you.”

Nick was quiet, mulling over the fact it didn’t do you or him any good to disparage his own person when there were others to do it for him. He had never considered the effect it might have on those around him; it came naturally to want to harp on his own shortcomings—or had it come natural to the real Nick? That was the million-dollar question, wasn’t it.

“You’re right, it does. But I shouldn’t let it bother me, not when I have people like you by my side.”

“I love you, Valentine,” you countered, not recognizing the softness of your own voice. You felt a shift beneath you, your head being coaxed to rise by way of a slow tilt of your chin.

Nick stared down at you, gleaming, golden eyes emoting dolefully as he gazed into yours. He held a deep-seated sorrow, not only for you, but for himself, wishing that he was human, if only so he could touch you, hold you, kiss you the way he wanted to.

“That’s not the smartest thing you’ve ever said, but I take it you mean that,” Valentine replied, bending low to brush soft, silicone lips across yours of flesh and blood; they were cool and rough in texture, but not unpleasant. The fact he was kissing you at all was a dream come true.

“With all my heart,” you replied, cupping the Synth's battered cheek in the bowl of your palm, fingers trailing over artificial skin in a light caress.

“So, that’s what this was all about,” he remarked, conjuring up a smile. “You know, I’d give you mine,” he added solemnly, his glum tone indicative of something he was not telling you.

Instead of elaborating, Nick changed the subject, always one to brighten a dark mood. “Next time, just tell me what’s on your mind instead of beating the living daylights out of some poor schmo, all right?”

You managed a smile of your own, delighting in his sarcasm, glad for the fact your confession had taken a lighthearted turn. “I can’t make any promises,” you quipped.

The detective gave a small shake of his head, that lopsided, infectious grin of his spreading up one side of his face. “Taking a page out of my book, are you?”

“I learned from the best,” you breathed, kissing him once more. Though selfish of you, for all you cared, the world could undergo another nuclear war, and you wouldn’t bat a lash, not for as long as you had your funny Valentine.

[azen13]

The Lives and Losses of Lovers

Description: This is actually inspired by a post by @lum1nesc3nce, which you can find here! TLDR: Zhongli x God!Reader, where Zhongli kills his lover but they stay alive. This does have a bit more of a Yandere!Zhongli flavor, though, so be warned!

CW: Yandere Themes, Descriptions of Violence, Descriptions of Blood, Murder, Mild Gore,

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

The patio is warm, blessed with the touch of the sun’s earliest rays. Already you and Zhongli sit in two comfortable chairs; he sips on tea, you on coffee. It is a scene that has played out a thousand times, yet one Zhongli never tires of. He never tires of seeing your face aglow, of feeling your body leaning against his, of knowing you are here, miraculously breathing life through your bones and skin.

“My dear, I was wondering,” Zhongli starts, his soft contemplative voice shattering the flimsy silence blanketing the porch. “Would you like to accompany me to Liyue Harbor to purchase some groceries?” It is a reward–he thinks as he revels in your surprised reaction–for how understanding you have been in these turbulent times. With the whole mess regarding the Fatui cleared up and a mundane mortal life ahead of him, Zhongli can afford to spend more moments with you in sweet, blissful love.

Perhaps one day it will make up for that vile scene years ago, the moment his heart became stone: your body splayed stunningly on the ground, looking like the most gilded, horrific masterpiece he had ever seen. Painted in sunlit hues, his spearhead sticking from your chest splattered with blood made of molten gold. 

Even nearly dying you looked breathtaking. 

He is still suffering from regret for the decision. At the time, the situation was looking grim; Guizhong and Azhdaha were both gone, leaving you his only close friend. He spent many moonlit nights sharing tea and hushed conversation, as well as tears and heartfelt confessions with you. Zhongli is not the god of words, but just the sight of your iridescent eyes made him want to tell you every trouble and every worry had. You were his most valuable treasure, his lover through and through. Your contract with him, to always stand by side, loyal to one another, made him so weak, so soft, so human.

But that was the issue. Everyone knew of his love, his tender affection; unbecoming of a god who wielded earth and stone as weapons. His life was plagued by phantoms day and night. When he dreamed he envisioned you being kidnapped by some evil god like Osial and being tortured. Killed. Doomed to a fate worse than death, even. In the day, every action you did reminded him of a delicate tree weathering a deluge. Your branches swayed in the intense winds and even the earth couldn’t anchor you.

So he pleaded. He begged you to stay tucked away in his private domain where no great evil could stalk after you, promising to love you for an eternity of eternities. He would love you until every mountain had become a valley. But you refused, saying you wanted to live every facet of life, turning the world like a kaleidoscope in your hands.

The mirrors shifted and the skies turned red.

Those prophecies he had dreamt, uttered to him by ghosts haunting his mind, came true. You were taken away by some pesky, lowly god, and confessed all that you knew. That was fine. Zhongli was made of stone and Cor Lapis, and even if this insignificant insect of a god knew his weaknesses–few as they were–Zhongli eviscerated them.

But the contract.

When the god was sealed away beneath the sea, Zhongli fell to his knees, mouth opened but unable to utter any words.

Zhongli is not the god of words.

It is horribly tragic, he mourns as he stares at your hollow expression, that you must face the wrath of the rock because of a ridiculous choice of words. “To always stand by his side.” You have technically betrayed him.

The earth shakes for weeks afterwards. The sudden freak earthquake is talked about for weeks on end before people move on, as life does. Zhongli does not. His memory of you remains petrified, his new specter. He will never truly love again for thousands of years. Every time he is reminded of you, a piece of his heart chips away

But then you came back. 

That day is amber, crystallized in his mind. Seeing you in the bustling streets of Liyue Harbor, so lost after centuries away from home. At that moment, Zhongli decides he will not make the same mistake twice. He would have preferred more time to draw you in carefully, but he is afraid now. Afraid that some hideous twist of fate will rip you from him again. So he whisks you away to his private domain, and drafts up a new contract, binding you to him in matrimony forever. 

Please forgive him, he begs after you sign the contract in gold, tears dripping down your cheeks. He only wishes to protect you; he has always wished to protect you. But the world is cruel to lovers, and not even the strong can uphold such a delicate thing. 

In Zhongli’s private domain, wicked things like time and fate are nonexistent. Zhongli is the only god that rules these lands. He is a benevolent god, if a little possessive. After being deprived of you for so long, he craves your presence, he claims. Day and night, he tries to spend every living moment with you. When he cannot, you are ever-present in his mind–a living, breathing thing instead of the dead spirits that once terrorized it for all those years.

Some days you seem despondent, craving room to spread your branches far and wide. But Zhongli simply chuckles and kisses the top of your head; he smells the gentle scent of your shampoo, knowing this is what is best for you. He whispers it quietly, lacing sweet nothings and honeyed words into his voice as he pulls you into his arms. You haven’t tried to fight him on this in years, either. It’s part of the reason why he has proposed going on a  little trip to Liyue Harbor. Perhaps if all goes well, he’ll allow more trips out of the private domain. All supervised by his watchful eye, of course. After a few moments of stunned surprise, you finally have the courage to speak. “I-I’d love to. Thank you, Zhongli,” you say quietly. Zhongli smiles, leaning to press a delicate kiss to your lips.

“You are very welcome, my treasure,” he whispers, a hand reaching to cup your face; his thumb reaches to brush your lips tenderly.

He can tell that you are still afraid of him, fearful that he will hurt you again. No matter. One day, Zhongli hopes, you will shed your fear like a caterpillar in chrysalis, and emerge into a glittering world full of Zhongli’s love for you. 

[matherofdragons]

How dare they try to make the Greens the bad ones?

First it was the claims that Alicent and Cole are responsible for the death of Jaeharys. God forbid a widow have some fun. While I have issues with her sudden relationship with Cole and the sex scenes that are presented as raw while the ones on the black side as intimate, it doesn't make them responsible for the death of a child.

Then came the claims it was Aegon's fault, that he was a bad father, that it was his drinking and indifference that caused it, but he was genuinely nice with with his children.

The real villain is Condal and his writing team. They are for Rhaenyra, fine but try to present the story neutrally. The whole B&C was butchered in favour to make the Blacks look less bad. It's supposed to be tragic. Where was the Sophie choice? Where was "Your mother wants you dead?"? It was just a "mistake". We all know it was not. It was "a son for a son".

Season 2 Episode 2 just continued the trend. They knew people will sympathise with Helaena and Aegon and will start hating the other side. So they banged their heads together and came up with a episode made to destroy them.

The funeral was depicted as a publicity stunt. While Luke's being a genuine family ceremony. See guys the Greens are dysfunctional. They aren't a real family. Why didn't they use Rhaenys' massacre of the smallfolk as PR? Did they forgot it happened?

The grandmother doesn't want to attend as she's too busy thinking about the d, mother doesn't want to attend, father is told NOT to attend, no other relatives around. Luke's ceremony was the complete opposite of this. B

Aemond was too busy being dotted by a pseudo mommy to participate in the upcoming warplans or be there for his family. He somehow knows that it was Daemon just because. Is he getting visions like Helaena?

Aegon was denied a scene with wife, so they can grief together. They just had to pass each other to make it seem he's indifferent to her. Alicent isn't there to grief with him, contracting again with Jace and Rhaenyra who griefed together. I guess she was more interested in Cole's private parts.

Otto throws a really pathetic tantrum over muh ratcatchers and uses it as an excuse to shit on Aegon for 5 minutes. Because Aegon is bad for seeking justice for his son. And why did the small folk react so badly? Was killing few people who could have been part in the murder of the Prince worse than the stunt Rhaenys pulled?

And how can I forget the dog. The dog is making people sympathetic towards child butchers. Lovely.

Bravo Sara Hess! Bravo Condal! You truly outdid yourselves.

Justice for my Prince Jaeharys! Cole did the right thing. If it wasn't for Mahsaria his plan would have worked!

Bonus for the book version!

[katrina37973]

Thoughts on WOTR Part 1/?

I had the joy of watching this in the cinemas with my friend and both of us deeply deeply enjoyed it.

TLDR: Good solid movie with compelling characters and story. Excellent homage to Tolkein. It's not pretending to be anything but an addition to the current Legendarium, an insight to a period of history which has very little actually written about (canonically at least).

Apologies for horrible grammar and spelling in advance. The following's just my thoughts on Helm, Hera, Wulf and Targg.

Spoilers for The War of the Rohirrim. It's a long one.

Helm Hammerhand

Really liked how they depicted his hot-headedness and his love for his children. I jsut adore parent and children bonds, and the weight of his love was so very clear. The whole thing was so very tragic, seeing two of your children killed and the third probably awaiting a worse fate? Tragic, absolutely tragic but so fun to watch. His temper is something that sort of parallels Wulf I think. There's a line there somewhere but I can't really voice it yet, maybe it just needs a little more time to stew.

It was a little unexpected for him to exile Wulf; it felt strange as while it was a rash decision, and while that fits his character, it didn't really make sense? From the brief sense of the culture of Rohan, it seemed family and strong relationships were extremely valued which made him purposefully exiling Wulf strange as a) it basically is an invitation to hate Helm with reason and b) he’s aged and, set up to be, wise in terms of battle and strategy which means surely, surely he would have realised the moment he said it that this would come to bite him back? This points a bit of a nitpick, but I can't help wonder if they went the way of self-exile for Wulf, what that would have changed in terms of storytelling. 

Another thing that sorta applies to other characters too is how they depicted the time passing. Originally when the narrator says ‘seasons past yet no sign of Wulf appeared’ thing, Helm looked exactly the same as he did in the beginning which was his hair. If they made him grey-haired, then it would be easier to show the time passing eg, give white streaks throughout hair; in addition to this, you could have had his entire hair white in Hornburg to emphasise the extent of his grief. Might even help play with the whole wraith arc. 

Speaking of which, the wraith-arc was excellent, I loved how they incorporated that view from ordinary people into it, it really sold the power and influence Helm had on his people and his enemies. The thing I really didn't like/felt negatively about but understood was how he immediately became this tough, muscled fit person especially so soon after being depicted as a gaunt, skeleton, shell of a man due to his grief. It doesn't make sense narratively too as it disrupts the whole thing about being trapped and supplies dwindling low in Hornburg. Unless he stole from Wulf’s army but still, the timeline is a little confusing and his sudden supernatural strength (despite being human) to go toe to toe with a troll broke the immersion a little. 

I'm just a sucker for those story-telling narrations okay? Those implications of this becoming a legend, a myth retold again and again, there's just something about a legacy well left behind that tickles my fancy.

Hera

Loved her whole character arc except, EXCEPT, her fucking hair. I don’t mind her clothes, though her rider outfit, the one that strongly reminds me of Black Widow/Natasha Romanoff, was a little too modern aesthetic. 

Starting off good/strong, I love the fact they didn’t change her thoughts on marriage. I was apprehensive for a long time throughout the movie because that’s usually how it goes, that there should be an arc, a start and an end which differs from that start belief but thank all that it didn’t go that through. She feels very ace-coded to me, the whole I'm married to nothing but death? Gorgeous. I might be a little biased here tho. 

I adore how they show her intelligence and strength. The way they subtly used her skill/knowledge with horses to set up Hama’s finale was gold. I would have loved to see more of her with her horse, and the bond they had, like short stories where she travels throughout the land before nad after the events of the movie. Just the whole movie had excellent writing and storytelling. The way they had side characters like Lief and Olwyn, build each other up is such a simple but effective way. It felt very grounded, that they had a lot of history and respect for each other. It didn't feel like any side characters were missing potential/felt out of place.

Her intelligence was not in your face, not arrogant and forced and random long tirades which I adored. As much as I loved BBC Sherlock, the way they depicted his intelligence was iffy and I’m glad they didn't go that route for Hera. I don't think I have any specific scenes in mind, just overall excellent storytelling with her. Minus that one scene where she was captured by General Targg and grunts, lass you had a sword in your belt and you’re beating your hands against the man’s back? I guess shock and adrenaline and all but it felt really weird and slightly out of character. (Unless I’m remembering wrong, I hope that’s the reason)

Now, I know this is done by a Japanese company and thus has strong ties to anime (and thus main character hair syndrome), but really? Really? I can’t get over her hair. Why would you make it red? Sure you can argue her mothers could be red-haired and that her brothers had a different mother, but what does that do but detract from the storytelling? Moments such as her brother's deaths could have been made more moving (not that it wasn't, I teared up during Hama’s scene so much, just the way the music is so mournful and muted compared to previous loud battle scenes and thundering hooves, the bond he has with his old mare, ah that scene was a masterpiece). It not only visually ties her to her family more strongly, but it signals visually the transfer of the line of kings to Frealaf. I just think it was such a missed opportunity. 

Actually, now that I thinking more, I really adore how she knows Wulf so well. Especially in that last battle, the way she purposefully pushes all his buttons, and fighting in a wedding dress? Any other movie I would be thinking distasteful thoughts but here? Beautiful shock but understandable. She’s been shown to fight before, she has access to armour (ill-fitting though they may be) but instead of acting sensible like Wulf probably expects, she trades defensive for psychological warfare and hell yeah, it rocks. The whole wedding dress was pointless and taunting and by Gods it was lovely.

A tiny nitpick but understandable why the producers did this; I like it when shows/movies show grime and tears on clothing to show the journey they went through but I understand animations long and time-consuming and really keeping track of all the rips and tears would be a such a pain.

Wulf

I love his design okay? He’s the typical bad/angsty lad and it's a stereotype that works for a reason. His character stays amazingly consistent, he’s so fixated on Hera and his vengeance and the lengths he goes for it, terrifying in the best way possible. While the inciting incident was his father's death, I think it came through quite strongly that that wasn’t the true reason why he continued on his attack. Someone else probably has already made a detailed explanation and breakdown so I‘ll leave this part be.

Other than that I don't have much strong feeling on him? Its a little strange, I appreciate him as a character but it doesn't really invoke in me anything strong. Good character set up with their childhood flashback where he gets the scar due to his loss of temper, good consistent decision made with reckless abandon.

General Targg

Okay, not gonna lie, this is my favourite character, besides Olwyn and Hera. Like dude’s doing his best and making so very sensible suggestions and he keeps getting ignored. He keeps getting ignored. He’s a strong, experienced veteran who served under Wulf’s father, probably knows Wulf since a young age and he’s doing his damn best to keep Wulf alive and satisfied (I would say happy but I think that’s not quite possible) despite the hilariously stupid decisions Wulf keeps making. I use the word hilarious because it is. Especially from Targg’s POV. This leads to the thing I’m most confused about; why did Targg stay? What is his motive here? In the end he’s killed by Wulf himself, despite him being a reasonable commander who had supported Wulf all this time. While it enforces Wulf’s character, it feels really strange to never see why Targg stays on the same side especially when Wulf makes a whole bunch of strategic blunders. It might be loyalty to father, loyalty to son thing but I dunno, I wish they had a scene or dialogue that just gives us a bit more info. Like, looking back the only reason Wulf is not as banged up as he should be with that personality and temper of his, is that Targg there’s to soothe things over and manage strategic decisions. I’m not saying Wulf’s stupid, he’s is smart and clever but you cannot convince me that Wulf would not antagonise (purposefully or accidentally) would be allies and Targg would have to play diplomat.

Honestly I think he and Olwyn would be those type who would meet in a bar/tavern and trade good stories with good (or shitty) drinks between them, and probably also complain about idiots who get themselves into trouble all the time. They're like the duo who could and absolutely would look at each other in a situation over their fighting charges, have their eyes meet and say get a load of this bullshit. Honestly, Targg didn’t get what he deserved, man really got betrayed while doing nothing but what he did for the entire movie, AKA making reasonable suggestions. 

Side notes, I really liked the depiction of horses in Rohan. Like the bond all Rohans had for horses. There were so many scenes where I was thinking, and getting annoyed, go on kill that horse and kill its rider, like the easiest way to kill a man, get their horse to kill them for you. But then I was like, but this is Rohan. Their crazy about horses (or at least what I know, the little I do of Rohan) so it absolutely would make sense for them to not treat their horses as meat shields. Their whole country/state is (probably) based on horses and travelling place to place so while it would make economic and practical sense to keep as many horses alive as possible, I think its just neat if it’s their culture that influences this decision.

[problemstarchild]

This last chapter was really amazing ! I think it did a good job of communicating that laios is scared kabru might hate him or even worse might be obliged to be with him 'for the sake of the country' and that kabru feels horrible for knowing laios inside out by just being a spectator of his nightmares

I liked the flash back with his father I think it expanded on stuff from the manga nicely💥💥

I also liked the part where laios is avoiding saying what is bothering him and kabru calling him out on it, usually it's the other way around !!!

When he asked the hypothetical "would you kiss me?" question my reaction was literally NOO LAIOS HES NOT READYYY‼️‼️

Very excited to see where it goes and yeah the slow burn is slow-burning

I'm not sure when you sent this -- I didn't get a notification, my apologies!!

I love love love writing stuff about Laios' childhood; it's something he thinks about deeply (his nightmares are about childhood bullies and his parents, his dying thoughts when the ghosts are chilling him to death in the Sorbet chapter are about Falin and the way she saved his life and he failed her) but when he talks about it, it's super clipped.

Like, the version of his history he gives to Senshi is like "Yeah, I left home for school, dropped out, went into the army, deserted, worked in a caravan, and then my sister followed me here and got eaten," and it's so clear that he considers himself a huge failure and not just like... the end result of a wide-ranging societal cruelty toward Strange People, that the superstition and cruelty of the people in his hometown drove him to run away from the only home he had ever known.

And he just doesn't talk about it!

He'll tell people if they ask, but nobody ever asks. People GOSSIP about him, say they think he might be a prince or something (apparently), and that's at least a widely-enough circulated rumor that Asivia is able to pick up the fact that he's supposed to inherit leadership over a village in the North -- but she doesn't know enough about him to know that he basically ran away from home. Nobody really knows that. Has anyone ever bothered to ask? Like, we almost know more about Laios' childhood dogs than his dad. They're deeply imperfect people living a simultaneously interdependent and independent lifestyle -- they have their own homesteading and hunting they need to do to sustain their livelihood, but then Laios' father is also responsible for maintaining important goings-on in the village...

SIGH. I think it's totally valid if people want to depict Laios' parents as total monsters in their fics, we have very bare-bones personalities and neither Falin nor Laios can be fully impartial narrators... but I think it's all the more tragic that they did the best they knew how to do and still managed to fail.

A lot of the things our parents do to hurt us are things they did on accident, things that they never knew bothered us. Isn't it worse in a way, that they didn't mean to? At least if they did it on purpose, we could hate them for it. I enjoy having the context of memories and nightmares and sudden, aggressive flashbacks to force these sorts of maladaptive life lessons and formative experiences into the spotlight -- I sort of just write characters in a way that suits them without trying to write up a whole psychological profile in advance or anything, but the more I write Laios the more I feel like I wouldn't be surprised if he just straight up has CPTSD, on top of whatever else is going on. Between his village, school, and the army, the amount of alienation and violence and cruelty he's endured, along with a long-term lack of any level of meaningful parental support... like, no wonder he's so, terribly dependent on Falin. He's a social creature, he loves to be with his animals and he loves to be with his sister, and he's in a world that doesn't want him!!!!!!! And it makes me insane!!!!!!!

One of the things I really really love about Laios is that he's TERRIBLE at lying, but really good at omission. Like, he can't hide the man-eating plant seeds or changeling-changed Kensuke from Marcille, his lies to the Canaries when they arrive at Thistle's house are TERRIBLE and Kabru is even like "oh my goddddd he is so bad at this???" but when it comes to just not mentioning stuff. Chilchuck being like "BY THE WAY, you didn't know Marcille was into black magic, right??" like he's looking for an alibi and Laios just being like "I mean kinda, but I just sort of didn't ask her about it because it's her business." His backstory basically gives nothing. In the side comic about the dog names, he says kind of distantly that he never know his dad's dogs were named after elven gods of the hunt because his father never told him anything -- but he ALSO never tells anyone anything. Like, he just straight up hid the fact that he was plain ol' obsessed with monsters for years. That's the part that makes me the craziest. He was surrounded by the thing he loved and he just was being so normal about it all of the time. Because he can just chop about 90% of himself off and hide it inside of the other 10% and just puppet that little bit around.

The big thing for me was... he knew Falin's resurrection might not work. The demon basically implied several times that if it was vanquished, Falin couldn't be revived. "You want to destroy magic itself, even though you desire to revive your sister with a magic you want to deny to others... hypocrite." Threatening him with the looming knowledge that his "greatest desire would never be fulfilled" and him obviously assuming that would be Falin's resurrection.

And then he still asked all of those people to help him cannibalize his sister.

And didn't tell his friends that it might not work until they were almost done eating her, nearly a week later.

Like, he's not a good LIAR but Laios Touden is a master of just not saying things. Essentially, he strong-armed a good hundred people or so into eating Falin knowing full well it might not work, and didn't tell anyone -- including his closest friends -- that it might not work until it was too late to back out because they'd already done everything he wanted. Like. I'm not sure if he was trying to brace them for disappointment or if he genuinely felt like he had somehow been tricking them by not mentioning it... but to me, that's HUGE. Lying to the whole big group of people eating -- sure, whatever, but these people went through so much already, the fact that he still just quietly hid the fact that everything they did might still be for nothing is just. Oof. Ouch. My bones.

SO. IN A ROUNDABOUT RESPONSE.

Laios is good at hiding things, but a bad liar! He just usually is very straightforward with Kabru about things in private, I think, so even though Kabru has a hard time reading his FACE, he's already clued in that Something Is Wrong and he's not going to drop it until he gets his answers. Big tells would be Laios using more diplomatic or careful language despite being alone (taking care not to be misunderstood, which means he's hiding something in his words, or worried that the thing he's talking about is just inherently bad), misdirection, unwillingness to address the topic...

It's really fun to flip their usual dynamics on their head. I had Laios gently reminding Kabru of a kobold's name in the Karkadann chapter, I believe, and then Kabru trying to get Laios to be straightforward and honest in this last chapter... it always feels super rewarding when I find an opportunity to do something like that. Like, situations are always changing, they're never going to be exactly the same from one moment to the next... one minute you think Laios fumbled the whole situation with the kobolds, the next minute Kabru and Laios are performing a flawless combo social attack finisher. It's so much fun.

Kabru is!!! Doing his best!!! I've been focusing on Laios mostly in this ask mostly because next chapter is going to be Kabru POV and I don't want to get TOO far ahead of myself... but he's definitely having A Time!!!!!

Thank you for reading, and thanks for the message! I'm so glad you enjoyed!

[filmkmg]

d is for death??

tw// anxiety, hallucinations, illegal substance abuse, depression, suicidal attempt, self hurting,

when i was a kid, not even once did it ever come up in mind that i will have to experience those things... being exposed to the vices, the aftereffects of having one, overdosing, the anxiety it brings, hallucinations, suicidal attempts... it never occur to me that things would go rough when i became a 7 year old adult.

i was wrong.

2023 was the wildest year yet for me. a lot of things happened and i don't even know how i managed to survive it but i did. however, did i ever process everything? i didn't.

witnessing the person having the same line as you just one farther attempts suicide due to this overdosing, telling you about their hallucinations that makes you not just anxious of him being around but also of what he can do when he's in that state of mind. other people kept saying you it was depression, and you thought it was but it wasn't. you did't know it first. all those mentioned previously were still not a reality to you. not even a possibility because you were kept away from the truth and was told it was depression. not until you saw the illegal substance he was using.

all of a sudden, everything just made sense.

i was speechless. i want to cry. i want to question it and more. i want to scream why. but i didn't because i was always bad at expressing myself verbally and physically. so i did what i'm best at. i repress.

and it wasn't simply just a choice. i didn't have time to feel it. there was no clock designated for me to process and think about it. to validate my emotion towards because outside of that tragice house, life should keep going so there i was... rowing that boat to i don't know where.

it happened again. the od, hallucinations, and all... it happened again and it was beyond of me. i began to be anxious even more. i don't feel safe having him around. i don't feel secure being the same space as him. but i have to deal with it. he's a family. and classic as it goes, family should stick together so despite of the fear... i have to breathe the same air as him.

i made decisions that circulates around it. bottom line is i stopped. i gave up. i lost it. and what i've heard despite of them knowing what all these experiences are making me?

"you are selfish."

i've heard it more than "how are you?" i don't think i receive enough of checking up from them unlike with my friends. but it happens. family doesn't mean happy. sometimes family means angsty, tragedy, anxiety...

and i accepted that. if being called selfish means me not having top go through all those shits alone again. if being selfish not having to wonder why and solve those issues as if i'm the one in trouble... then so be it.

tho, from the last i've heard, he's clean now. i'm glad he is. relief he is. but i don't want to risk myself again to be in that situation again.

it's just sad that we used to be close. we used to talk about just anything. gather opinions of each other on certain things. both musically inclined even. but some things has to have boundaries. especially when they exposed and made your mental health worse.

and is d for the drugs? it could be. but all the more, d is for death... and i am done grieving.

[influencermagazineuk]

Ed Sheeran Seeks Leniency as Tributes Flood in for Liam Payne, Who Dies at 31 From Devastating Hotel Fall

Shocking news regarding Liam Payne's death, 31 years of age, after being reported that he fell from a third-floor balcony at a Buenos Aires hotel. He was a member of the former One Direction singing group, popular among fans for his talent, charm, and spirit. His untimely death has been widely mourned through tributes by his bandmates, close friends, and fans worldwide. It was then that the world discovered his existence, as he auditioned for The X Factor in 2010 with Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, and Louis Tomlinson. The boys who later would form One Direction, sweeping the globe, gathering millions of fans, and selling millions of records. In the meantime, while on hiatus from One Direction, Liam Payne remained in the music business and a favorite among the pop culture crowd. Harald Krichel, CC BY-SA 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0, via Wikimedia Commons His fellow band members expressed their grief in a sincere joint statement, referring to Payne as a "kind, funny, and brave soul." They emphasized the nature of misses they would face as well as the depth of their friendship for the years spent together. This is a testament to how sad and impressed they were by him, not only as their brother but the one who grew with them all within One Direction. Another close friend and collaborator of Payne, Ed Sheeran also expressed his sorrow through his social media. He confessed to feeling "at a loss for words", in believing he has lost one of his dear friends, to encourage people under his followers "to be kind". The message was simple and emotional and resonated with millions of fans and celebrities alike, who responded with their own tributes: memories of warmth and kindness from Payne. And the call for compassion by Sheeran underscores just how grim the situation is; those close to him are trying to process the tragedy. Reports on the final moments with Payne only add to the sadness surrounding his death. A preliminary autopsy conducted Thursday, October 17, confirmed that he died of death caused by his fall from the hotel balcony. Photographs taken from the crime scene likewise demonstrate a disconcerting image of his hotel room. Pieces of chairs broken, a television smashed to pieces, and litter scattered throughout the place trigger deep concern for what may have unfolded in those hours before his death. Reports show that Payne was in town, Buenos Aires, on official business, but possession of Clonazepam, an anti-anxiety medication, would go further to heighten more questions about the state of their mental health before this tragic event. The singer's family, in a state of decidedly broken spirits, made this statement; end. Among the more public aspects of his life has been his close relationship with his family, starting with his young son Bear, whom he co-parents with his ex-partner, Cheryl Cole. The role of father is something Payne identified himself proudly with and, throughout much of his very public life, shared photos and stories about his son with his fans. His family has also been in the thoughts of fans and well-wishers to today, who have sent them condolences regarding this impossibly heavy loss they now face. His sudden death stunned the other members of One Direction, for whom he had been part for so long. Niall Horan expressed one of the most poignant responses to the death of his fellow member: "As for our last conversation, I had no idea that it would be the last time I would ever be able to speak with him," Horan said, while making the tragic event even worse. Zayn Malik, too, introspected on his state of sadness stating that he never wanted to say goodbye to Payne this way. In fact, Malik and Payne had confessed to "butting heads" when they were band members; however, their relation wasn't strained; however, the moment of a really personal good-bye like this one must be pretty overwhelming and devastating for Malik. More details emerging from the final days of Payne's life have given birth to mixed feelings of condolence and concern for his health prior to death. As for the reports, Kate Cassidy, his girlfriend, had already flown out of Argentina before he died, giving an explanation for speculations surrounding Payne's state during the last few hours before the fatal incidence. Music grieves at the tragic loss of a very talented, loving artist. Tributes are flowing from each corner - from musicians to thousands of fans - paying homage to the kind of life Payne touched. The list of those paying their respects is endless, from Robbie Williams and Sharon Osbourne to thousands more, as even Osbourne poignantly said: "We all let you down", a reflection on the ever-growing talk concerning matters of mental health and support behind the scenes. Liam Payne was a performer and a person who will be irretrievably missed by those who knew and loved him. His legacy will live on, but the tragedy of his death serves as a reminder of the fragility of life. As Ed Sheeran so elegantly puts it probably, in such moments of sorrow we can do the best by being kind to ourselves, other people, and to those who may be going through things in ways we are unable to see. Read the full article

[vgckwb]

P4G: Mirror Mirror (A FeMC Story/P4G Rework) Chapter 8: Death and Rebirth

Yua woke up the next day. She felt simultaneously better and worse. Still, she managed to get herself ready for the day. Once she got downstairs, Ryotaro looked at her and said “Oh. You’re awake. I’m glad. Sorry, but I have to head off.” He rushed out the door.

“Dad got a call,” Nanako explained. “He said it was really urgent.”

“I see…” Yua said.

“Are you feeling better?” Nanako asked.

“I’m fine,” Yua explained. “What about you? How are you feeling?”

Nanako frowned. “I…had a nightmare last night.”

Yua knelt down to Nanako’s level, and gently rubbed her head. “It’ll be OK.”

Nanako smiled somewhat. “Thanks…”

Yua stood up. “I can make breakfast this time.”

“No!” Nanako rejected. “You’re still recovering. I can do it.”

Yua wanted to protest, but she thought about yesterday. About needing to accept help and welcome it. Still…I think Nanako needs to learn that too. But like that silhouette said, I need to help myself before I help others. “Alright then.” She sat down as Nanako prepared breakfast. Once they ate, they headed off to school.

On her way there, Yua heard some people talking. “I saw three police cars speeding by.”

“Did you hear anything?” another girl asked.

“Just a bunch of yelling,” the first girl said.

“C’mon!” the other girl responded. “You live by the station! You need to be more alert on these things.”

“Really?” the first girl said. “I dunno. I’ve lived there so long, it just kind of becomes white noise after a while.”

Yua noted that there were police sirens going off in the distance. I hope everything’s alright. But I somehow doubt that. She continued on to school.

In the afternoon, there was a sudden school-wide assembly. Once assembled, there were some more murmurs from the crowd. Meanwhile, Chie seemed frustrated. “Yukiko said she’d be back after lunch. I still don’t see her.” She sighed. “I know the inn is important, but…” She turned to Yosuke. “Hm? What’s on your mind?”

“Hm? Oh, nothing,” Yosuke said. “I just haven’t seen Saki-senpai today either.”

“Attention!” Miss Sofue, one of the teachers, said. “This afternoon’s assembly will begin. The principal has some things he would like to say.”

The principal came up to the mic. He was an old man, but still looked capable. “I regret to inform you that I have some tragic news. One of our students, Miss Saki Konishi, a third-year from Class 3, has passed away.” The room erupted in shock and horror.

“Wha?” Yosuke said, his face going pale.

“Her body was found this morning,” the principal continued. “The circumstances surrounding her death are currently being investigated by the police. First of all, I would like to assure everyone that you have this school’s support through this difficult time. Secondly, I have been assured that this death was not caused by bullying. However, I urge restraint. Please do not jump to any conclusions, or resort to baseless accusations. We must remain calm, and honor Miss Konishi’s memory in a responsible manner.”

The students were panicking. Of course they were. One of their own was just found dead.  Yua was panicking more than most. Was…was she the one in there?

On their way back to class, Yua, Chie, and Yosuke overheard some people talking. “They say her body was found in the same way that announcer’s body was.”

“Woah!” the other girls said.

“What’s even crazier, I think I saw her on The Midnight Channel,” the first girl said.

“Really?” the other girls said.

The first girl nodded. “I also overheard someone say they saw that announcer on The Midnight Channel as well.”

“Do you think whoever’s killing them is broadcasting their victims on The Midnight Channel?” The other girls asked. “How? Isn’t the TV supposed to be off?”

“Maybe they have mysterious powers,” the first girl said. “There’s still no cause of death. Maybe it was a mysterious, unknown, experimental poison!”

“OK, now I think you’re being delusional,” the other girl said. “This isn’t a sci-fi movie or anything.”

“Be careful,” the first girl said. “The truth is stranger than fiction.”

“Well…” the second girl said. “I’d rather not die like that. I’ll be careful, but not because I believe you!”

“Whatever you say,” the first girl said. The two of them continued on.

“Mmmm,” Yosuke groaned. “It’s just as I thought! Saki-senpai WAS on the other side!”

“H-Hang on,” Chie replied. “We don’t know that!”

“Thinking about it,” Yosuke continued, “I thought that girl on the screen looked like Saki-senpai. Ugh!” He looked at the two of them. “I think we need to go back in. That bear has a lot to answer for.”

“OK, hold on,” Chie said. “While it does sound like it, maybe we shouldn’t rush into things.”

“Well,” Yua interjected. “I think we could at least get some more answers.”

“Not you too…” Chie said.

“I mean…we could have saved her if…” Yua said.

Yosuke grew determined. “That’s not your fault! You didn’t know the first thing about that place.”

“I knew she was in danger,” Yua countered. “I just…had a hard time believing it…”

“Still…” Yosuke assured. He sighed. “Well, if it happens again, we need to be ready. And the first thing to do is get more answers from that bear. Starting with why he didn’t save Saki!”

“Mmmm,” Chie said. “Fine! But I’ll be on this side today. I don’t feel comfortable going back just yet.”

Yosuke nodded. “I understand. Honestly, I’m a little scared too. But I need to know.”

“Same,” Yua said.

“Well…just be prepared you two!” Chie warned.

Yosuke nodded. “Let’s meet at Junes after school.” They all nodded, and headed to class.

After school, the three of them headed off to Junes. Once at the TV section, Yosuke instructed “Wait here a second.” He headed off. He came back a few minutes later. “Here,” he said, handing Yua a golf club and some medicine. “I feel like it might be easier if we had some form of defense.”

“There are better places to get stuff like that ya know,” Chie chided.

“Well, we’re only doing a quick in and out,” Yosuke protested. “We won’t need a whole lot.”

“I hope you’re right,” Chie said, worried.

Yosuke looked at Yua. “Are you ready?” Yua nodded. “Good. Chie, you stay here and keep watch. We’ll be back soon, OK?”

“Mmmm,” Chie said, still unsure about things.

“It’s OK,” Yua said. “We’ll be back.”

Chie smirked. “Somehow, you saying it makes me feel better.”

That makes one of us.

Chie sighed. “Well, if you’re not back before the store closes, I’m going to the police!”

“Fair,” Yosuke said. He turned to Yua. “Let’s go!” The two of them headed into the TV.

They found themselves at the same location as last time. “Huh,” Yua noted.

“Well, it seems that the location is based on where you enter from, huh,” Yosuke noted. “Alright, now where’s that bear?!”

They heard panting. They turned to see the bear stumbling over, before slumping on the ground in front of them. “...huff….huff…huff…I’m sorry…”

Yu rushed over. “What happened?”

“Well…” the bear began. “I was looking for that girl you were talking about.”

It flashes back to him concentrating. “Streetlight….streetlight…AH! I found something.”

The current bear continued the story. “I followed the scent as best as I could. It was hard with not a lot to go on, but I managed to get there. It looked like a street with many different places. One of them had the scent, and I followed it in there. I saw the girl you had described earlier.”

“Who…who are you?” Saki screamed. “Where am I?! What is this?!”

“I’m here to rescue you!” the bear explained. “Just follow me, and I can get you out of here!”

“Don’t bother!” said another voice. They turned to see another version of Saki. “She cannot be saved.”

“Wha?!” Saki said.

“Stay back!” the bear instructed, getting in between them.

The other Saki stepped forward. “Stupid bear!” She smacked his head off.

“AAIIIIIIIIII!” Saki screamed.

“Heh,” the other Saki chuckled. “Like I said, she cannot be saved. Even if you did save her, she’d betray you the first chance she’d get!”

“Wha?” Saki responded.

“Grrrrr!” the now headless bear hissed. “So what? I’d betray myself if I didn’t help! So back off!” The bear pushed the other Saki.

“Huh. You’re still moving…” the other Saki said. “I guess I’ll have to deal with the lower half as well!” She kicked the bear’s body.

“OOF!” the bear screamed, as he was flying backwards.

In the present, the bear explained. “I was knocked out cold. When I came too, I looked around. Neither person could be found. I realized I had failed.” Yosuke looked disappointed. "I’m not a fighter. I don’t have the means to fight. But I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

Yua placed her hand on the bear’s shoulder. “You did the best you could. Honestly, I feel partially responsible too. If I didn’t go unconscious.”

“Look!" Yosuke snapped. “Neither of you are to blame, OK? It was whoever put Saki-senpai in here in the first place. If they didn’t do it…” He held back tears. He swallowed the air in his throat. “Look, if this is going to continue, we need to make sure we can help. We’re the only people who can do this aside from the killer, so we need to stop them in their tracks. And if we can’t stop them from putting people in the TV, we can at least build up enough strength to come and rescue them.”

Yua smiled. “Well said. Thanks.

“Eh heh,” Yosue chuckled, blushing slightly.

“Hang on!" the bear said. “I haven’t finished my story.”

“Oh,” Yua said. “Go ahead.”

The bear nodded. When I came too, I put myself back together, and then began wondering what was going on.

“Hmmmm,” the bear said. "What happened?" He started rubbing his head. He gasped. “Oh no…I was too late!” He frowned. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be,” said a voice. The bear turned around to see the figure in the white robe with her mouth sewn shut. “There was nothing you could have done anyway.”

“Grrrrrr,” the bear said. “If I’d have been FASTER, I’d-”

“You’d what?” the figure said. The bear was struggling to find the words. “That’s what I thought. By the way, you should be thanking me.” The bear was confused. “When those shadows frenzied, I was the one to protect you from their advances.”

“Huh,” the bear responded.

“But I didn’t do it out of the kindness of my heart,” the figure said. “I need you to deliver a message. You know those punk kids you met earlier?” The bear nodded. “If they come back, tell them that they can either join us, or face the wrath of the shadows. I’d recommend the first option.” The figure disappeared.

The bear began finishing his story. “And after that, I came back here. I’m still a little roughed up, so it took me longer than expected.”

“Well, I have no interest in mingling with that weird person in the robe, or her compatriots,” Yosuke told him.

“The shadows are tough though,” the bear said.

“True,” Yua replied. “But we cannot turn a blind eye to those in need. And based on your story, it sounds like you aren’t either.”

The bear chuckled. “Thanks.” He grew determined. “I can’t stand them either. They’ve been corrupting my home for far too long. I’ll gladly help you stand up to those shadows!”

“I thought you said you couldn’t fight,” Yosuke pointed out.

“I can provide support!” the bear said. “This is my home after all.”

“Well, I guess that'd be helpful,” Yosuke said.

“Oh!” the bear said. “If you want to move around here, you’re going to need these.” He held out some glasses.

Yua and Yosuke put them on. Suddenly, the fog around them appeared to have disappeared. “Woah!” Yosuke yelped.

“I know!” Yua said. “It’s like the fog doesn’t even exist.” She turned back to the bear. “Thanks, uh…”

The bear smiled. “My name is Teddie!”

Yua smiled back. “I’m Yua.”

“Yosuke.”

“Well then, now that we’re together, what do we do?” Teddie asked.

“Right now, we just want to investigate where Saki-senpai was,” Yosuke said. “I don’t think we’re strong enough to go whole hog on anything.”

“Roger that!” Teddie said. “I’ll lead the way.” Teddie led them down to where Saki was.

Upon arrival, Yosuke and Yua were stunned. “Woah!” Yosuke said. “This looks like the Shopping District.

“Yeah…” Yua remarked.

“Which means…” Yosuke said. “I think I know where to look.” He rushed off.

“Wait!” Teddie said. He and Yua chased after him. Yosuke arrived in front of a particular store. Teddie and Yua caught up. “Don’t run off like that! You might attack shadows!”

“I thought they didn’t come out unless the fog cleared,” Yosuke told him.

“They only FRENZY when the fog clears,” Teddie clarified. “They can show up whenever.”

“Why didn’t you tell us that earlier?!” Yosue yelled.

“I thought it was obvious!” Teddie answered in distress.

“Nothing about this world is ‘obvious’,” Yosuke retorted.

“Well, you do seem to know where to go,” Yua pointed out.

Yosuke groaned. “I just know about Saki-senpai. This is her family’s liquor store. I think this would be where she’d be.”

“Well, you’re right,” Teddie said.

“Then let’s head in,” Yosuke suggested. The three of them entered.

Yua turned to Teddie. “Do you sense anything yet?”

“Not yet,” Teddie informed her.

“Hm,” a voice said. “It looks like you didn’t tell them.” The three of them looked to see the figure with her mouth sewn shut. “I protected you for nothing then…”

“Why didn’t you sense her?!” Yosuke said.

“I can’t!” Teddie declared. “They evade my nose.”

“Yeah, don’t blame him,” the figure said.

“How are you talking with your mouth sewn shut?” Ysuke asked.

“How could the other figure see us without eyes?” Yua posed.

“Fair point,” Yosuke said.

Yua grew determined. “As for you,” he looked at the figure, “Teddie did tell us your message.”

“So, why are you here?” the figure asked.

“You gave us a choice, right?” Yua said. “Well we’re choosing to fight you! We need to figure out who’s killing people, and what’s going on with me!”

“Hm,” the figure scowled. “I must say, I’m disappointed. But not surprised. After all, words hurt. Why bother saying anything? You’ll either end up spreading rumors and lies, or hurting people with the truth.” She summoned a sewing needle with a bit of thread. The three of them were horrified. “Hm. Normally, I’d go after you, but I’ve been instructed to conceal myself for the time being.”

“By whom?!” Yua demanded.

“I cannot say,” the figure answered.

“Hilarious,” Yosuke remarked sarcastically.

The figure turned towards Yosuke. “You won’t be laughing when everything you’ve believed in comes undone.”

“What do you mean?!” Yosuke said.

“Heh heh heh,” the figure chuckled. “Just listen.”

“I just wish Junes would shut down.”

“Huh?” Yosuke said.

“They’ve taken from all the local businesses.”

“I know. It’s like they’re a parasite.”

“Say, did you hear? Konishi’s daughter is working there.”

“Oh my! They’re ruining her family’s business, and she goes to work for them?!”

“How could she do something like that?”

“Is this…what Saki-senpai was hearing?” Yosuke wondered.

“Saki!” an authoritative voice said.

Yosuke grew alert. “That sounds like her father."

“Why are you working at Junes?” her father continued. “I don’t like to meddle in your personal affairs, but why THAT place? It’s killing us! And all the neighbors have taken notice. Is it for money? Or is there a BOY involved?”

“This…this is awful!” Yosuke said. “She didn’t seem like this was bugging her at all. WHAT GIVES?!”

“Oh?” the figure said. “She didn’t say anything? Maybe because she knew how much words hurt.”

“That-THAT’S A LIE!” Yosuke protested. He glanced around. “Look!” He picked up a photo on the desk. “This is a picture of her and her coworkers! See how happy she is?!”

“Um, Yosuke?” Teddie interjected.

“Huh?” Yosuke said. He looked at the picture to see that it was torn up a little.

“Hm hm hm,” the figure chuckled. “Well, if you want to hear what she had to say, then by all means…”

Saki’s voice began ringing out. “I never got a chance to tell Hana-chan…”

“Huh? Me?” Yosuke said.

“He was so annoying!” Saki continued.

“...what?” Yosuke replied.

“I mean, I was nice to him because he was the manager's son,” Saki went on. “But he seems to have gotten the wrong idea. I mean, my parents hate me, the neighbor’s are all talking about me, and he’s yucking it up like he’s not the reason for all of that.”

Yosuke was devastated. “I…I…”

“You what?’ the figure interjected. Yosuke didn’t respond. “Just as I suspected. “ She twirled around her needle. “You can still come over. My offer is still valid.” She stopped twirling, pointing it at Yosuke. “But this will be your final offer!”

Yosuke didn’t answer for a minute. He started looking down and trembling. “So…words hurt, you say?” He clenched his fist. “Well how about THESE WORDS?! I DON’T NEED YOUR PITY! Someone is throwing people in here and making them live their worst nightmares! You think I won’t say anything to stop it?! Well guess what?! I’ll talk the talk, AND walk the walk! Got it?!”

“Hm,” the figure said. “Poor choice of words. No matter. The shadows will deal with you soon enough.” The figure started to leave. “Oh? You said that bit about nightmares? Let’s see what your ‘nightmare’ is.” The figure vanished.

“Oh no!” Teddie said. “I sense shadows coming!” Yua readied her golfclub. Yosuke took out a wrench.

Two ball-like shadows with mouths and tongues appeared. “They don’t look so tough,” Yosuke remarked. “We can take ‘em!”

“‘We’?” Yosuke's voice said. “‘We’? What’s all this about ‘we’?”

“Ummm, what’s going on?” Yua wondered.

“I didn’t say that…” Yosuke said.

Another Yosuke walked up. “Just face it,” he said. He pointed to Yosuke. “You just want to play hero! You want to do something that people actually like you for, instead of ruining lives. The shopping district? Junes? Who CARES?! I know I don’t. All this small town politics is too much for me. I’m so alone. And so bored.”

“What do you mean?!” Yosuke demanded.

“Teddie!” Yua said. “You said there was another Saki?”

“That’s…correct…” Teddie answered.

“Could this be that for him?” Yua wondered.

The other Yosuke smirked. “There's nothing to do here for me, except become a pariah. Wasting my days while everyone around me hates my guts. I even go to great lengths to get people to pretend to like me. Saki-senpai’s disinterest. Chie-chan’s kicks. Hell, I’m even listening to a crazy person!”

“Hold on!” Yosuke said.

“That last one paid off though, right?” the other Yosuke continued. “I mean, a world inside the TV? Who’d have thunk it? Sounds like fun. And that’s the only reason you’re here, isn’t it? To have fun!”

“BULLSHIT!” Yosuke said. “I’m here to avenge Saki-senpai.”

“Bah ha ha ha ha!” the other Yosuke laughed. “You heard her right? She didn’t care about you at all. Why should we?”

“I care about her!” Yosuke protested. “And that’s good enough for me!”

“Do you care about her though?” the other Yosuke said. “Or are you just feeling protective because she's one of the few women who would give you the time of day?”

“Shut up!” Yosuke said. “Who are you anyway?!”

“I didn’t think you were THIS stupid!” the other Yosuke said. “Can’t you tell? I’m you.”

“What?!” Yosuke shrieked. “You can’t be me! I’d never say any of that! So who are you?!”

“Heh. My answer isn't going to change,” the other Yosuke said. “I’m you.”

“No!” Yosuke said. “You can’t be! YOU’RE NOT ME!”

The other Yosuke began laughing. “Deny all you want! Go ahead!”

Yosuke was scared, but kept insisting. “You aren’t me. You’re nothing like me!”

The other Yosuke continued laughing. He began changing his form. “That’s right! From now on, I’M IN CONTROL!” He finished his transformation into a big camo-frog with a giant smile, and a mysterious masked figure coming out of the frog’s back. “I AM THE SHADOW! THE TRUE SELF!”

Yosuke fell to the floor. “N-No…”

Teddie looked at Yua. “You have to do something! Huh?” He noticed Yua was giving a void stare to everything that was happening.

Yua was wrestling with herself in her head. I have to save him. But I can’t save anyone without saving myself. And I can’t save myself if I don't acknowledge I need saving. She closed her eyes, and grew determined. “Hey! Yosuke!” Yosuke looked back at her. “I am crazy!”

“Huh?!” Yosuke said. “I didn’t-I mean he-”

“It’s OK!” Yua called out. “It’s true. You know why? I don’t feel complete. And you know, not having a lot to do is better than having a lot and not having anyone to do it with! I’ve been alone for so long, and I hate it!

No one hated me outright! But I never had any real connection with anyone! I was just a face in the crowd! Just some name on a list! No one ever saw me for me, and I hated it! I hated it so much that I tried jumping off a building!” Yosuke was stunned.

Yua continued. “The only thing that stopped me was this voice in my head telling me that there may be something more out there for me! And after reuniting with my uncle and cousin, and meeting you, and Chie, and Yukiko, and seeing Saki die, I’m now more afraid of what would have happened if I had followed through! I’m weak. I’m pathetic. I’m alone. But that doesn’t mean I will allow ANYONE to make others feel like that. Because I know where that road leads, and I won’t let anyone cross it if I can help it. You hear that, you frog motherfucker?! Bring it on!”

Yua started feeling tense in her head. “Well, this is a surprise,” Izanagi said. “It’s only your second time here, and yet you are ready.”

“Well,” Yua replied, “I know what it’s like to confront your worst feelings. I know the end result too. So whatever this is, if it means driving people away from that, I’m all in.”

“Hm hm hm. Very well,” Izanagi said. “I am thou…Thou art I…Call upon my name, and my power shall be yours!”

A card materialized in Yua’s hand. Teddie and Yosuke were impressed. Yua seemed to know what to do. She lifted the card, which eventually started floating. She then smashed the card in her hand. “Izanagi!” Izanagi stood behind her, fully materialized.

“Woah!” Yosuke said.

“WOW!” Teddie said.

“You think this will scare me?!” The other Yosuke said. “Take THIS!” It unleashed a wind attack that pushed everyone back. “See?”

Yua got up and started walking forward. She looked at one of the smaller shadows. “Zio!” The lightning attack hit it, destroying it instantly. She looked at the other one. “Zio!” Same thing happened to the other one.

She looked at the other Yosuke. “Wait wait wait…WAITWAITWIATWAITWAITWAIT!”

“Zio!” Yua said. Izanagi unleashed lightning onto the frog-creature, knocking it down.

The other Yosuke was dazed, but came too just in time to see Yua with her golf club raised. “Oh no.” Yua smacked him so hard, it sent him flying.

Yosuke and Teddie recuperated. Yua stood there, breathing heavily. From where the frog form was jettisoned from, the other Yosuke appeared as himself once again. “Dammit!” Yosuke said. “Who are you?”

“Yosuke…” Teddie said. “As much as I hate to admit it, I do believe it’s you.”

Yosuke panicked. He looked at his other self. He then looked at Yua. Yua opened up her heart to him. He didn’t want to betray her. “Fine. He approached his other self. “I guess…you’re me after all.” He sighed. “I mean, there is a part of me that thinks all of that. It’s a part that I wanted to keep hidden. But I guess I can’t hide anything from myself. And if we’re going to figure out the truth of this mystery, I need to know the truth within myself; that you are me, and I am you.”

The other Yosuke smiled. He began floating, and then changed forms once again. However, it was into the form of a humanoid-frog person in a white jumpsuit. It then turned into a card, which Yosuke caught, and absorbed. “This…this is my persona. Jiraiya.”

He turned back to Yua and Teddie. “Heh heh.” He started crying a little. “To think Saki-senpai thought of me that way. What a way to find out.”

“Yosuke…” Teddie said.

“It’s alright,” Yosuke said. “I get it. Besides, as much as she thinks that, I think negative thoughts too. But that’s not the whole of a person. That monster manifested from me, and it is me, but it's not the whole of me. And once I accepted that it was me, I felt more whole.”

Yua smiled. “Way to go, Yosuke.”

Yosuke smirked. “Couldn't have done it without you.”

“I agree,” Teddie said, enthusiastically. “Way to go, sensei!”

“Sensei?” Yua siad.

“You’re a master at taking out shadows!” Teddie said.

“Well…alright,” Yua relented. “I was just flying by the seat of my pants. Or rather, the seat of my skirt.”

“Still, the ship is steady,” Yosuke said. I think you’ve earned it.” Yua chuckled. Yosuke slumped over, almost falling, but catching himself.

“We should leave for today,” Teddie said. “A lot happened.” Yua nodded, and she helped steady Yosuke. The three of them headed back.

As they were heading back, Yua noted “I think with our Peronas, we have a better shot at helping the victims of this crime.”

Yosuke nodded. “Just…imagining people trapped in here with no way out facing the worst parts of themselves. I know if you weren’t here, I’d be done for.”

“Yeah…” Yua said, embarrassed. “I didn’t like telling that to you. But I knew I had to. If I wanted you to trust me to save you, you had to really trust me. Besides…me keeping that is is part of the reason I passed out so suddenly.”

Yosuke smiled. “Well, I’m glad you did. Because now, we can do this together!” Yua nodded.

Once they got there, Teddie said “And here we are! Now, if we are going to meet up again, you need to come through at the exact place you’ve been coming though.”

“Huh?” Yosuke said. “Through the Junes TV?”

“Wherever it is,” Teddie said, “just come through that same one. Otherwise, I might not find you so easily.”

Yua nodded. “Very well.”

“Hey,” Yosuke said. “If you aren’t a shadow, what are you?”

“I dunno,” Teddie said. “I’ve just lived here for a while. I don't know where I came from.”

Yosuke sighed. “Well, I guess that's another mystery to add to the pile. We can try to help, but I suspect stopping people from getting murdered might take priority.”

“I guess that’s fair,” Teddie said. “I do appreciate the effort though.”

Yua chuckled. “Well, um, so now that we have all of this sorted, what’s our next move?”

“I think we need to figure out what happens next,” Yosuke said. “And to do that, we gotta get out of here.”

“Roger that!” Teddie said. He summoned the exit. “Here you go!”

“Thanks Teddie,” Yosuke said.

“Thanks,” Yua said. Teddie giggled. The two of them headed back through to Junes.

Chie, upon seeing them emerge, was relieved. “Oh thank goodness. I was starting to worry!”

“Eh heh,” Yosuke chuckled. “I mean, it was a lot…” He paused. “Listen, if you don’t want to participate, that’s fine.”

Chie was confused. “What do you mean?”

“Yeah,” Yua said. “The more, the merrier, right?”

Yosuke took Yua aside. “If she goes in there, she may have to face what I faced. DO you think she’s ready for that?”

“Were you?” Yua responded.

“Well…we know now what happens,” Yosuke retorted.

“But you feel better after that, right?” Yua said. “Besides, if she’s with us, we can protect her.”

Yosuke pouted. “Fine. But she should get a fair warning.” Yua nodded. They came out of their huddle. “Alright, so, um, when we went in there, we had to face some hard truths. Both about the situation at hand, and about us. There’s a chance you might have to do the same. Are you up for that?”

“Huh?” Chie said. “Of course! I know I’m strong! I can take myself!”

“No, I mean-” Yosuke said. He sighed. “I guess it really is something you have to see for yourself.”

“Still,” Yua interjected, “if you decide to back down, would you still help us figure things out on this side?”

“Huh? Oh yeah, of course,” Chie said. “You’re going to be watching The Midnight Channel right?” Yua and Yosuke were confused. “Seriously? You forgot already?” She sighed. “Well, I understand Yosuke-”

“HEY!” Yosuke protested.

“But I thought you’d be more alert, Yua-chan,” Chie finished.

“Well…a lot happened on the other side,” Yua explained.

“I guess that’s fair,” Chie said. “That one girl said that both Saki and the announcer were on The Midnight Channel. So it stands to reason that maybe whoever’s on The Midnight Channel is going to be the next victim.”

"Oh yeah..." Yosuke said.

"So, we gotta watch The Midnight Channel then." Yua said. "And we have to keep track of the weather."

"The weather?" Chie wondered.

Yua nodded. "The shadows kill whoever's inside when the fog lifts on that side; which when the fog comes over here."

"Oh right!" Chie said.

“This wholle thing is complicated,” Yosuke said. "But I doubt a case where people are being thrown into a parallel world would be simple." He yawned. “Boy, that took a lot out of me. I feel like I should go home and rest.”

“I think I should get going too,” Chie said. “My family is having steak tonight! I asked them about it after Yosuke wouldn’t buy us it!”

“This again?” Yosuke said. He sighed. “Look, I’m sorry…”

“Hmmm,” Chie said. “Alright. But I’m still waiting for you to replace my Trial of the Dragon.”

“First purchase after I get paid,” Yosuke swore.

Chie nodded. “Cool. Seeya!” She started walking off. “Oh! And don’t forget about The Midnight Channel, OK?” Yosuke and Yua nodded. Chie walked off.

Yosuke turned to Yua. “You know, I think I need to start letting go of some of my hang ups. I try to play things cool a lot, but I think letting go might help.”

“Well, Yua replied, “this isn’t something you can fix overnight.”

“Hah ha, true,” Yosuke laughed. “But I think for tonight, I’ll at least get a good night’s sleep. Everything feels a lot more organized, you know?”

Yua nodded. “Well, see you tomorrow, I guess.”

Yosuke chuckled. “Seeya.” He headed out, and Yua left not too long after.

[boogie-woogie-boogie]

We had to let my dog if 13 years go yesterday, her name was Sheila and she was a perpetual old lady her whole life

She didn't like any of us besides my mom when we first got her, but for some reason we didn't want any other dog. We were on a wait-list to adopt her and were lucky enough for her to work out, but she hated kids and men. Her original name was Shayla, but we changed it to Sheila which wasn't much better. Id get in trouble as a kid for telling older women named Sheila that my dog has that name too.

Once me and my siblings got older, she started to tolerate us a lot more. She was never affectionate but she would always sit with my brother on the couch, or wait for me to go outside with her, especially after our other dog passed away. She wasn't really the same towards other dogs after mochi passed, I think Sheila liked her a lot more than she let on.

Both of my dogs deaths were drawn out and tragic, and I still wish there was something we could've done for either of them. For Sheila, it was cancer, and her being at 15 year old we realized it would be better for her to hope the lump would go away on its own than to expose her to all of the hardships of treatment. I still don't know if that was the right choice.

It's hard to watch a dog suffer. You can't explain to them what's happening, you can't tell them they don't deserve this. She stopped being able to eat or run or even really bark, she stopped being standoffish at all. I wish she had let us give her affection before all of this started, she deserved more.

It's hard to have the power to kill an animal. I couldn't bring myself to go to the vet with my parents. She didn't understand what was happening. It's not like with people where you can tell them and where they can have input. But the vets gave her a chocolate doughnut just for her. She didn't have the stomach for a second one.

It's hard seeing where she's missing now. It's very similar to when a family member dies, except with a lot more hair everywhere as a constant reminder. All of her things and her favorite spots are still here, like she isn't actually gone.

It's like a very physical grief. I just feel exhausted.

I guess I wanted to put all this out there where no one I know irl will see. There's been so much hardship for my family lately, just when things seem like they're getting better something else happens. It's hard not to feel constant anxiety about someone I know randomly dying because I can't even say it's not a realistic fear. It's like clockwork, I just need shit to slow down for one or two years. My family is so small I can't keep doing this. My mom doesn't deserve this, it's her birthday. I'm not strong enough to help alleviate any of these burdens for her, and even if I was she wouldn't let me. All I can do is make sure my siblings are okay.

When you can see death coming, it's easier to manage. It's worse at least for me when it's sudden. Makes me scared of phone calls from family members, I always expect the worst. So I'm very grateful for being able to intentionally spend her final few hours with her, even if everything that lead up to this point got harder to watch every day. I just wish she could've had a peaceful death.

Anyways I know no one will read this and I guess I kind of hope it stays that way. She was just a dog and I don't want anyone to think I'm being overdramatic.

I still keep thinking of holding her to my chest and carrying her up the stairs to see my mom when she couldn't climb them anymore. I wish I'd told her I loved her more.

[amaya-writes]

Hi!<3 May I request Mello Matt, L, Near and Light hcs of how they would be if their s/o nearly died?

Notes: plz I love writing death note hcs

Warnings: near-death situations, slight yandere themes

Characters involved: Light Yagami, L Lawliet, Near, Mello, Matt

Gender-neutral reader, you/yours

Light Yagami

Regardless of what happened to you, Light will presume this is because of people who are trying to hurt him through you.

Being Kira's s/o is obviously a dangerous position, and he heavily chastises himself for not thinking of his status impacting you before.

This is obviously not completely true, as what happened was a mere accident and had nothing to do with you being his partner.

If another person was involved in the accident then they will definitely be killed using the death note, this is non-negotiable and Light will probably hide their death from you.

He starts keeping a close eye on everything you do and will not let you go places without him for a while. Even after that Light often sends Ryuk to watch over you when he's executing his plans to ensure you don't get caught in it.

Overall, he takes this incident as a challenge to try and prove that he can be Kira and have a partner without it ending in a tragical romance.

L Lawliet

L definitely isn't as crazed Light but he is very cautious because of the incident.

He considers himself foolish for not thinking about such a thing happening before and does get very panicked at the thought of possibly losing you.

Unlike Light who's accustomed to caring for others, his family, and having important people in his life, L has never really had to worry about anyone except himself and Watari, which is why this incident sort of shocks him into realising you are now part of that list too.

He won't be overbearing physically, but he will insist upon having surveillance for some time or at least sending Watari with you.

If you protest then he pretends to understand and agree not to do it, but he still will survey you anyways.

L will get used to the idea of having to look out for you pretty easily, as he also considers the fact that in the future if your relationship ever goes public people might try to use you to get to him.

Overall, he probably seems like the calmest out of them all but he's really spiralling mentally and feels a need to constantly have you around after that.

Mello

The angry kind.

He probably yells at you after the incident and calls you an idiot, but it's really just his way of showing you he cares (that doesn't excuse the fact that he's being toxic).

He'll get overbearing but unlike the others, he doesn't give you a chance. Mello can and will force you into accepting his sudden surveillance and has the connections to ensure you are always watched by someone he trusts if he isn't available.

The two of you probably fight about it quite a bit and Mello starts yelling and has to force himself to understand the fact that just because he cares about you doesn't make this okay.

He's never really had to care about someone so much before, sure he has Matt but he's never cared to this extent, which is why Mello just gets very panicked and doesn't know what to do with himself.

With Mello, conversation is key in this situation.

If you fight fire with fire it might just result in things getting worse and him going Yandere.

Near

Blames himself.

To Near, it's all but insulting you were even put in such a situation. He thinks that it's his fault for not seeing this possibility before.

If he was there to witness the situation his guilt and decision to blame himself only gets worse to the point where he thinks he needs to take extra measures to make up for his previous shortcomings.

He wouldn't force surveillance on you or anything but he might get a little overbearing because he doesn't want you to go places without him or be out of his sight.

Unlike the others Near is open to an argument in fact he wants you to argue back, wants you to knock him out of his self-blaming spiral.

He isn't very familiar with human emotion and doesn't really know how to comprehend what he feels for you and how the thought of you feeling pain affects him so badly.

Just like Mello he just needs to understand this new feeling and how to cope with it healthily.

Matt

Matt is the calmest of them all, and unlike L he's not faking it.

Sure, he's scared shitless. If anything this incident just shows him how careful he needs to be about mixing you and his work since the possibility of you getting hurt is very real.

He doesn't want to risk losing you and isn't very happy about the fact that you could have been taken from him.

Normally, Matt isn't very physically affectionate but now he's holding you in his arms for hours on end convincing himself that nothing happened, that you're fine.

It would be cute if he didn't talk about keeping you with him and only him while you were in his arms.

Very yandere thoughts but unlike the others he doesn't do anything about it.

Well, he doesn't kidnap you. But he does set up a camera outside your house and a tracker in your car. Mello told him to do this before anyways (just in case you were a mole) so that's just more of a reason for Matt to keep an eye on you.

He doesn't tell you any of this, and you will probably never find out since Matt's good at what he does and know how to ensure his targets don't know they're being watched.

[bylertruther]

i was doing my regular rewatch the other day and tbh... lonnie and will's relationship is so unsettling. lonnie literally did not give a single goddamn fuck that his own twelve year old son was missing and later "dead". he just... did not fucking care! at all. couldn't even pretend to. jonathan comes to tell him what happened and we see that...

lonnie got joyce's call and still didn't care to reach out,

when jonathan tells him this is serious and real, he mocks will by saying "he was never very good at taking care of himself" (which is already disturbing considering this is his son he's talking about, but especially so when you remember that lonnie abused will for being gay and tried to get him to like "masculine" things),

he's already talking to jonathan about seeing him more and reconnecting, like will isn't fucking missing, like he's already fucking dead and he's moved on, as if will is some stranger or worse someone that never existed at all,

instead of feeling any kind of shame about jonathan not believing him when he says will isn't there and him looking in the actual fucking trunk of his car, he just makes a joke out of it asking if jonathan's gonna check up his ass too,

his neglect is brought up again when jonathan slams one of the posters to his chest and tells him "in case you forgot what he looks like",

and that's not even touching on the fact that the very first thing we see lonnie do when jonathan enters the house is fucking shove and pin him to the wall, telling him "you got stronger".

like, he is not a good man in the slightest—the complete antithesis of the byers we know.

and then afterward... lonnie finally decides to come back. he's being nice to joyce and pretending like he's the man of the house again. like he's finally come home to fix and save his family.

he goes to will's funeral and treats it like a schmoozing event, like that isn't his youngest son being buried right in front of him, showing less emotion than one of will's classmates that hasn't ever even talked to him.

but... he's not there because he's had a sudden change of heart.

no, he's there because he has something to gain out of this unimaginable tragedy. his own youngest son is dead and he comes back home to collect a fucking check for it. because he's never cared about will, hasn't ever even seen him as a human being, he just... sees his death as something he can benefit from.

it's just so fucked up and so sinister. lonnie isn't a man riddled with vices, beholden to some disease which makes him act in ways most unbecoming. no, he's... just a man. a small, manipulative, and cruel leech of a man that just doesn't fucking care and is in it only for himself.

it's just... it's really tragic to think that will really was dealing with monsters way before that first demogorgon ever came through the gate.

and even then... that demogorgon was an animal acting as animals do / possessed by vecna and you can't really blame it for that. but what's lonnie's excuse, huh?

[chefdoeuvre]

Inevitable

Jay Halstead

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Fem!Reader

Description: Sometimes death is inevitable no matter how hard you try.

Words: 1,248

Requested: yes by anonymous; Hii I was wondering if you could write a one shot jay x reader are dating and then the reader gets kidnapped or something and she dies with a lot of angst

Warnings: mention of injuries, blood, angst (if I can even pull it off), language, death, sad Jay Halstead.

A/N: Jay Halstead only deserves happiness and I stand by that. I just moved into uni the past week and had full day trainings so I’m sorry that this is going up a little late and it may not be my best work, but I will try once my schedule is less hectic. I apologize in advance for any grammatical errors.

—

Did you know where you were currently? No. The last events you remembered were going out to your car, heading to the store to pick up a few things before Jay came back home from work. Apparently, you never made it to the store, you barely even made it to your car. Your hands were tied behind your back and your legs were bound to the legs of the chair you were sitting on. Your head was pounding and you could barely keep your eyes open. Something felt wet on your stomach while it kept pulsing in what seemed to be pain. The room where you were held was dark and musty making it harder for you to breathe. Outside of the room, there were muffled voices speaking unintelligible words you could tell were probably not good.

Meanwhile, Jay was running around Chicago like a crazed mad man trying to find you before it would be too late. He knew he shouldn't have dragged you into his mess of a love but he loved you too much to stop. The second he noticed you hadn't come home after he arrived he had a gut feeling that something was wrong, entirely wrong. Immediately he began to look for you while also telling Voight to get together the team to find you before a missing persons case turned into a homicide case. Voight had already started on putting together your last knowns and looking through security cameras to find where you could have been taken of where you had been taken. All of Intelligence including even Trudy were working their asses off to try and find you, not only for Jay but for themselves.

You were loved by the entire team. The second Jay had introduced you to them they had fallen in love with you too, platonically of course. You, Kim, and Hailey spent a decent amount of time with each other even without the other guys around. It was safe to say you were everyone's best friend and sometimes even a close confidant.

The entire time Jay had only one thing on his mind, he needed to find you and soon. He was already losing his shit the second he knew you didn't come home. Now with a missing persons and possible kidnapping he was barely holding on to his sanity by a thread.

You sat there in pain and drifting out of consciousness. To say the least you were screwed over and twice over again. Your shirt was now soaked in your blood and the pounding in your head only seemed to get worse by the second. At this point, you knew if someone didn't come now you most likely wouldn't be able to make it. You had lost too much blood in too little of time. The problem was you didn't even know who had done this to you and where they had gone. They left you there to bleed to your own untimely death. Even if you were fighting your hardest to stay awake and keep going until someone would find you, you were beginning to lose hope and a sense of mind.

You and Jay were practically losing your minds. But for somewhat similar reasons. It was over losing each other, you loved each other more than anyone else could understand and that made it that much harder to even think about it. Simply thinking about the loss of you was too hard to bear for Jay and it worked both ways.

You felt it becoming harder to breathe and stay awake that’s when you realized Jay probably wasn’t coming in time to find you. It took you a while to finally accept the fact that the last you would have would be of Jay but somehow it was bittersweet.

Jay was already running up to the warehouse you were being held unshed tears in his eyes as he charged through the double doors. Intelligence followed after him as they scanned over the building trying to find where you were. Jay looked frantic as he ran to the last door and ripped it open to find you almost passed out, your blood in a puddle underneath you. He ran toward you, pulled away the binds holding against the chair, and knelt down, gently cupping your face holding it up.

“Baby, hey look at me.” Jay spoke softly.

Your eyes fluttered open for a second before they shut again. Jay kept on saying your name as you slumped down into his arms. Eventually, he began yelling and the rest of Intelligence and the paramedics arrived into the room. Voight had to pull him away as the paramedics worked to do their job. They were doing whatever they could to resuscitate you but they were trying and failing. The puddle of blood showed that you lost a significant amount since you had been taken and it was obvious how slim your chances had been. As one of the paramedics declared it Jay simply fell onto his knees beside you. Kim held back a sniffle and turned to look away as tears began cascading down her cheeks. Adam quickly pulled her into him as he choked on his own tears. Hailey simply stood there in shock with her own tears eyes wide open. Voight clenched his jaw tightly and held his balled-up fists at his side. Kevin held a solemn look on his face as he placed his hand on Hailey’s shoulder comfortingly.

Jay continued to sit there with a blank face and tears staining his freckled cheeks. His eyes had already become red and seemed to be off in another world. No one else had the guts to actually say it. You were dead. Your last moments were spent staring into Jay’s wondrous blue eyes that held all the emotions in the world. His eyes told you what he didn’t have the time to tell you. Voight had ended up storming out with heavy steps as he cursed to himself. Kim tried to quiet her crying as Adam squeezed her tightly rubbing his hand up and down her back. Hailey let out a mix between a huff and a sniffle before turning on her heel to walk out of the room, finding it too hard to watch the scene in front of her. Adam ended up pulled Kim out of the room making sure she wouldn’t lift her head up again with Kevin following closely behind.

Jay was left in the room with you to say his final goodbyes. But he couldn’t say goodbye he barely got to spend the rest of his life with you. The two of you had plans for years to come and all of a sudden those plans turned into dust. Your death was in no way expected or even close to being wanted but it had happened. Even when you tried your hardest to stay strong sometimes it was inevitable that you couldn’t stay strong for long no matter what you had tried. Jay could barely accept the fact that you wouldn’t open your eyes and tell him what had happened, he thought the two of you would have had a nice date night in. The last thing he expected what to find you barely alive only for you to die in his arms. Tragic end, was all that could come to his mind and he felt that he would never forgive himself for what had happened to you.

[spiralling-thoughts]

your welcome i too had to wipe my eyes when I came up with the idea of the younger tributes helping their protectors :,) they all just broke my heart it's always tragic when a child is responsible for another child for me and for these 3 their only form of safety and guidance and the closest thing to a paternal figure they have in this scary and hopeless situation was other children, guess getting our feelings destroyed comes with being a hunger games fan :')

I am not really a nutrition expert so I don't really know what a sudden malnutrition would do, I just assumed that facet and velverene would be at worse state because they don't know how handle it but thanks for the insight nonetheless

I kinda have been playing around with the idea of aus where all the tributes get to live (the way they were treated and all their deaths broke my heart I don't think I have ever cried that much over side and background characters this much before) but I can't really come up with an original idea without it looking like I stole it from someone else, but of course you can use mine I would be happy to 😊

I have been playing around with the idea where brandy gets to live but I still wanted to give arachne a punishment, so one ideas I had is that brandy instead of killing her, give her a permanent scar on her face, crane being the spoiled brat that she is and the Capitol being a vain society start whining about "how can she live with such an awful disfigurement " with the tributes looking at her like:😑😑😑 and then tanner and bobbin tell her off saying that the people in the districts get injured and disfigured way worse than that and lose limbs and they still keep on doing their jobs and providing for their families so she better shut up because this scar is pretty insignificant and the students who secretly disliked crane are very amused at this .

I too was thinking about peeta's baby trick when imagining the Capitol citizens reactions I can imagine it to be ten times more loud and angry like how you pointed out with even some of them going close to the stage and some protesting outside of the arena demanding that the kids be let out

Here is a extra idea to add more angst and some humiliation to dr gaul she keeps being the errogant sadistic delusional killer she is keep going on and on how the tributes will now start killing each other and "show their true nature " and even going as far as saying that they will turn into cannibals with complete certainty but then when the countdown ends and like you said only three kids are standing, the tributes who had fallen all crawl on all fours and the remaining three still standing weakly walk and all the tributes lay on the floor next to each other and hold each other's hands then close their eyes , accepting that they are going to die but making sure none of them will die alone and that their last moments would be of them sothingly holding the hands of other children who understand their pain and who they spent their last days with (think of the scene from toy story 3 where the toys hold hands and close their eyes as they are falling to the fire, also to parallel the scene in catching fire where the previous Victors hold hands) ,leaving gaul completely speechless as she is looking for anything to still prove her point but the mentors who care about their tribute physically start attacking her (maybe sejanus is the one who starts it ) and all across the Capitol demands of the tributes being let out increases until finally an ambulance comes in and takes all the tributes to be treated, when some of the tributes start waking up the nurses give them food to eat however they ignore it and the first thing they ask about is their district partner and rest of the tributes wich the nurses reassure them that they are fine and eventually after getting better the tributes get up and have a group hug with tears in their eyes and relifed that none of them were left behind ,and days later they suprised that their families were brought to the Capitol or they are allowed to call them and once again the Capitol is hit with an awful realization that for the last 9 games they have ripped families apart and how these kids have loved ones who were going to mourn them, okay I need to stop right now my parents will be concerned on why am I crying

I’m back with yet another fix-it for TBOSAS! A very simple premise this time:

The district kids aren’t fed in the zoo, and the mentors don’t realize they’re their tributes’ only source of… everything. So despite their best efforts the kids’ performances don’t give them enough to feed everyone (they share what they can, because they’re all kids in the same boat who don’t want anyone to die). They look skeletal by the time the interviews come around, and their appearances remind everyone of the siege from the dark days. Especially the parents, who now see their own kids in these tributes, and it gets a ball rolling where capitolites realize they’re literally doing exactly what they demonize the districts for doing. Except they’re arguably worse because the war is over. They’ve won, there are no ends that may justify these “means”, the war’s already over. The capitol has no reason to do this outside of riding on their power trip to torment those they see as beneath them.

Only a few people are fired up enough to start protesting immediately, but these people encourage and convince others to join in until their numbers are so high not complying would pretty much destroy any chances of re-election for the president. If this is the movieverse, then possibly the president himself is swayed because he starts thinking about what if it was Felix who was standing on that stage, severely malnourished and clearly only conscious through sheer power of will, eyes hopeless and scared and desperate.

Idk I like the idea of complicated capitol people. They’re not monsters, propaganda and “us vs them” is just a hell of a drug. We see it in real life too, where being threatened by (and possibly losing loved ones to) the “other side” makes it easy to write them off as evil, so they deserve what’s being done to them. My main idea here is that the capitol citizens were particularly mad about the innocents who suffered, especially the kids. There’s a righteous fury, which is why seeing the tributes on stage in such a disheveled, dirty, famished state is so hard-hitting. Because the image that made the games “justifiable” is now thrown right in their face in the form of the same people they hold so much disdain for. It’s a wakeup call that they are at best no better than those they despise.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 302: As the Todoroki Turns

Previously on BnHA: 

Today on BnHA: We have a very fun chapter in which (1) Shouto grows up lonely on account of his parents being worried that his siblings will literally try to kill him, (2) Natsu and Fuyu grow up neglected on account of not being special and/or self-destructive enough to attract attention, (3) we get to revisit all of that exciting spousal abuse from chapter 39, and (4) Touya burns to death right on cue, pretty much exactly like we expected it to happen. Thankfully since this is a shounen manga, Horikoshi finds some hope in all this misery as the Todoroki family rallies together, with Shouto getting his long-overdue credit for being a perfect sweet angel who put up with all of this shit for sixteen years and somehow came out of it strong and kind and empathetic and determined. Anyway, so that flashback was a barrel of laughs. But now that it’s over, we can put all of that angst behind us, and move on to... well I guess, probably, more angst. Look, we’re short on variety at the moment. Bear with it.

ouch. we knew this was coming, but still

A+ parenting move there. “ho boy, our eldest just tried to murder our youngest, now what? hmm how about we isolate our youngest from all human contact”

though in their defense, we probably shouldn’t have expected this rabidly strength-obsessed fire man and his wife who was groomed since childhood to obey her family’s whims to have any idea of how to raise stable, well-adjusted offspring

SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS

this is a perfect example of Enji’s tragically self-revolving viewpoint right here. just because being a hero is your entire world doesn’t mean you can just excuse yourself from anything outside of that and act like it’s out of your control. “alas, all I care about is hero stuff and my son can’t be a hero, we are doomed to inhabit two different worlds” no you jackass, it’s called having more than one hobby?? figuring out how to spend some time with your son that doesn’t involve training?? the same exact thing you were telling him to do last week, while ignoring that you’ve never done that yourself in your life??

that said, yet again we have that complexity though because it’s obvious that Enji at least on some level is aware of his own flaws, even though he seems unwilling or unable to confront them. honestly, from what we’ve seen so far, Enji’s obsession with surpassing All Might might be more accurately called an addiction. he literally can’t let go of it even though he’s fully aware of how it’s slowly destroying his life. and so in the same way that a lifelong smoker or alcoholic might tell their child to stay away from cigarettes and booze, Enji tells Touya not to follow down the same path as him, even though he himself doesn’t know how to leave that path. so yes, it’s hypocritical as fuck, but there’s also an element of helplessness there as well because Enji literally doesn’t know how not to be like this

though all the same he sure could stand to put in more than just a token effort. but it is what it is, and we already know how much he’ll come to regret it

and meanwhile Baby Shouto has frozen his sleep bubble with his quirk lmao. so I guess his quirk did come in early. that’s a recipe for chaos right there

once again Shouto is ruining every single dramatic panel in this flashback

this was so dark and intense... and then I spotted the lil bubs in the corner. Horikoshi please control yourself

“some hero you are, running away” and then all of a sudden, “FIVE YEARS LATER” lol what. OKAY THEN

(ETA: love the confirmation that eight-year-old Natsu comes from the Iida school of puberty and is basically a fully grown man, and meanwhile Touya comes from the hobbit school of puberty and has been perpetually eight for the past five years.)

“HEY BIG BRO WANNA COME RECREATE AN ICONIC FLASHBACK SCENE WITH US. WE’VE GOT THE SOCCER BALL RIGHT HERE, BUT HURRY UP OR WE’LL BE TOO LATE FOR SHOUTO TO WALK ON BY AND STOP TO LOOK”

lol and that’s literally the next three panels. but Horikoshi did add this extra bit after Endeavor starts to drag Shouto away

seriously Enji what the hell did you expect was going to happen here. “Touya went nuts and tried to kill his little brother out of jealousy, so let’s make it clearer than ever that Shouto is the important child and all the other children are just rejects. this will definitely not make the problem 100x worse, and will surely lead to Touya giving up and living a happy life, having been emotionally abandoned by the person he admired more than anyone.” good for you pal you figured it all out. no need for that plan b, “we all just go to therapy”

anyway so he’s telling Shouto he can’t play because he needs more endurance training. and meanwhile Touya’s patented Todoroki Drama Genes are going through puberty as well

definitely the face of a happy, emotionally stable child who’s not still plotting to murder his younger brother in his sleep

“WELL ACTUALLY MAKESTE” lol I stand corrected??

apparently during the five year interim Touya actually stopped blaming Shouto and realized Enji was the one at fault. good for him! a bit inconsistent, given what we know happens later, but I assume we’ll get to that in good time

anyway. “yeah man I agree that dad sucks, but it’s the middle of the night and I’m only eight and you’ve been monologuing for the past two hours bro”

LMAO

the manga is making my jokes for me, only better. fine then

looks like someone’s still miffed about that disagreement he had with his baby sister back when she was like four

“Fuyu doesn’t get properly riled up like I want her to so ranting to her is annoying.” okay but having been in Fuyu’s shoes, it really is just a different way of coping, and I can guarantee she’s not as fine with the whole situation as Touya might think. but making your peace with something is often a decision that’s made for emotional self-preservation reasons. and I sure as hell don’t fault her for trying to shut out a situation that she had no control over, and trying to make the best of it, and scrape together as normal a childhood as she could manage

and now in Touya’s defense as well, that is of course easier said than done, and I’m sure if there was a “push this button and instantly get over all of the trauma in your life” switch readily available for Touya then he would have pushed it too. unfortunately it’s not always that simple

so now Rei is pleading with Touya not to go train up on his little emo hill again, but it doesn’t seem like much has changed since he was eight

I don’t think he gives two figs about being a hero; he just wants his father to look at him again with pride. fucking hell, stop doing this to me you damn Todorokis

guh, they keep telling him the same thing over and over again

even if we hadn’t already known he was gonna go melt his jawbone off soon, I wouldn’t have expected a line like that to go over well

yep. fuck

that Todoroki puberty angst, though. nothing else quite like it

“you have a part in this too, Mom” ooooooh man

okay but look, he’s not entirely wrong. like, I’m not saying any of this is Rei’s fault at all! she’s in an impossible situation where she’s afraid to stand up to Enji (who by this point has shown that he’s willing to physically attack her if things get too heated, which is terrifying), and doesn’t really have anywhere to turn for support. her parents aren’t helping much if at all, and Japan in general is just a terrible country to be in when you’re in a domestic abuse situation. everyone’s expected to put on a brave face and deal with their problems all on their own in private. Rei is basically completely isolated at this point, and she doesn’t know what else to do, and so she’s just trying to keep the situation as stable as possible for the kids

but on the other hand, “for the kids” is also where that argument starts to break down a bit, because at this point Shouto is also being physically abused by his father, and the other kids are continuing to be neglected (emotionally if not physically), as they have been for years. so the situation really isn’t stable at all for them. and as a kid, what you end up learning in that type of situation is that you can’t rely on either parent. not the abusive one, certainly, but also not the other one who can’t protect you from any of it. even if they love you and they’re trying, they’re just as helpless as you. Rei is struggling to deal with all of this with one hand tied behind her back, and I get it, and I’m not blaming her at all. but all the same, particularly given that she’s (understandably) putting almost all her focus on Shouto, the end result is that the other kids have basically been left to fend for themselves

so yeah! a shitty situation all around. and one of those cases where it’s not really anyone’s fault (aside from Enji’s), but I can understand the resentment Touya is feeling all the same. and I’m so glad Horikoshi is acknowledging this, because it’s something I probably would have been too uncomfortable to bring up otherwise. as it is it’s still an incredibly heavy subject, and one that I probably have too many personal feelings about

anyway, so once again the whole “we’ll try talking to him and then just shrug our shoulders when it doesn’t work” parenting strategy doesn’t really pan out for the Todoroki fam

sob this boy is Anakin Skywalkering before our very eyes. all that’s missing is AFO to come and start whispering in his ear. any minute now...

“anyway so then he got taller and his fire changed from red to blue”

guess we’re getting pretty close then huh. this is the part of the flashback that I really don’t want to see, but also unfortunately the part that I’m most curious about :/

oh for fuck’s --

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN IGNORING HIM FOR FIVE YEARS DIDN’T ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM” sob. back to the drawing board I guess

I thought he got taller, why is he still only like a third of Enji’s height here

oh fuck me these are armor-piercing feels. this is the heavy artillery right here

ENJI I’M BEGGING YOU PLEASE STOP AND THINK FOR ONE MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE BEFORE DOING SOMETHING YOU’LL REGRET FOR THE REST OF ALL TIME. your child just told you that he still thinks beating All Might is the only thing you care about, and that he believes his existence is a mistake unless he finds some way of doing that for you. please stop for a moment to contemplate that and choose your next words with care and grace and oh who the hell am I kidding

-- OR WE COULD JUST BLAME REI

go on and blame everyone but yourself then!! that’s a great solution!! jesus christ man I know this is Endeavor at his literal worst but still this is fucking hard to watch

POOR BABY SHOUTO IS YELLING AT HIS DAD NOT TO HIT HIS MOMMY THIS LITTLE BRAVE BOY NEEDS SO MANY HUGS OH MY GOD

AND MEANWHILE THE OTHERS ARE HUDDLED IN THE NEXT ROOM TRYING NOT TO CRY AH FUCK

(ETA: Fuyu covering Natsu’s ears cuts RIGHT TO THE CORE OF ME. Horikoshi if you’re really not gonna get these kids some therapy then at least consider giving your readers some. what is this.)

you know it’s bad when you’re starting to think the part where the kid burns to death might actually be a less traumatic thing to cut to right now

holy shit, actual Rei thoughts

“I was the one who ultimately made that choice” well there we go, wonder if that’ll put that whole argument to bed at last. I doubt it, but you never know. actually who am I kidding it’s not gonna settle jack shit lol

oh thank god, they decided it was getting too intense and cut away back to the present to narrate this next (final?) part

get ready to cue up that Alicia Keys. THIS BOY IS ON FIREEEEEEE

yeah I think that’s one thing we can mostly all agree on. neither of them had any clue what the fuck they were doing pretty much at any point. though I will say that the hypocrisy of him being all “WHY DIDN’T YOU STOP HIM” followed by him IMMEDIATELY DOING THE EXACT SAME THING is a bit rich

(ETA: and he still has this problem, doesn’t he? he froze up when Ending snatched Natsuo, and again when Dabi was attacking Shouto. he’s so afraid of doing the wrong thing that he ends up not doing anything, which of course is exactly what led to Touya’s death. damn Enji I guess you’ve still got some additional character development to unlock.)

and of course neither of them could possibly have known how badly it was going to turn out. like, the consequences here were WAY disproportionate even for the shittiest of parenting. no one expects “I didn’t know how to talk to my son” to snowball into “my son burned to death and then somehow came back as a villain and murdered thirty people”

ohhhhhhhh fuck me

LITERALLY INCINERATED THE ENTIRE HILLSIDE. fuck. and I am so not ready for the scene of Enji finding the remains of his jawbone afterwards. at least we were spared anything super-graphic (for now at least)

I feel like the timeline here is off, btw?? wasn’t Touya’s death supposed to happen after Rei got hospitalized? this might be the first actual retcon of the entire flashback. although I think it makes more sense this way tbh

I do appreciate that ten years later Enji is finally reflecting on the fact that if he’d just given up his stupid obsession he could have stopped his family from crumbling apart. that probably sounds sarcastic as fuck, but it’s not. there are countless jerks out there who would have still managed to find a way to blame literally everyone and everything under the sun except for themselves. at least he finally figured out how to take responsibility, even if it came too late to stop his son from dying and being radicalized into a villain terrorist organization

and speaking of, it seems to me we’re missing a third and final part to this little tale of woe, and one which only Touya himself will be able to shed any light on. so we’ll see how that goes

oh man seeing the other kids blaming themselves even though none of it was their fault hits hard af. Rei wasn’t kidding when she said they’d been bearing that burden of guilt far longer than Enji

SHOUTO I SWEAR TO GOD IF THE NEXT PANEL IS YOU APOLOGIZING FOR BEING BORN, I WILL... WELL I’LL BE VERY SAD, I GUESS. SO DON’T DO IT

oh good he’s just being quiet. good. it absolutely is not your fault lil bean. it’s not theirs either, but feeling guilty about things that aren’t your fault is a time-honored shounen tradition

goddammit I braced myself for the angsty Shouto panel a page too early. gotta do it all over again now lol. okay here goes

;_;

well well well would you look at that

imagine that. talking things out with your child before they make a rash decision. looks like the Todorokis’ parenting skills are finally leveling up

OH MY GOD

holy shit. this is the most quintessential moment of father/son Todoroki bonding in the entire series. for me it even tops the “nice scar” scene lol. Enji sobbing at the fact that he still has a chance to set things right. and Shouto offering his hand in what is actually the most mature and selfless gesture I’ve ever seen, and being all “we’ll stop him together” to his dad who he hates, but also doesn’t really entirely hate anymore. and all of that is incredibly moving... BUT ALSO HE STILL REFUSES TO MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH HIM AND HE WOULD LIKE HIM TO STOP BEING SO FUCKING DRAMATIC ALREADY IF YOU DON’T MIND. “WHEN YOU’RE DONE CRYING...” fkjldsk

OH MY FUCKING LORD

(ETA: wouldn’t be a Todoroki drama fest if there wasn’t somebody listening in on the whole thing in secret just around the corner lmao.)

“you think we should have waited somewhere else?” “yeah, probably.” “are you feeling a lot of secondhand embarrassment too?” “god, you have no idea.” STFU HAWKS IT’S NOT EMBARASSING TO BE MOVED TO TEARS BY YOUR FAMILY ALL COMING TOGETHER IN YOUR DARKEST HOUR TO GIVE YOU HOPE THAT YOU PROBABLY DON’T DESERVE BUT ARE NONETHELESS INDESCRIBABLY GRATEFUL FOR

and anyway you chose these guys as your found family, bucko. too late to back out now. next time go get yourself adopted by the Iidas then

AND MEANWHILE NO WORD ON THE WHOLE “HOW DID A THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD SURVIVE A FIRE THAT COVERED HIS BODY WITH HORRIFIC SCARS AND MELTED HIS JAW OFF, AND HOW DID HE SOMEHOW THEN MANAGE TO GO INTO HIDING FOR TEN WHOLE YEARS, AND WHAT HAPPENED IN THAT INTERIM TO CHANGE HIS GOAL FROM ‘SURPASS ALL MIGHT TO IMPRESS MY DAD’ TO ‘KILL ALL HEROES TO MAKE MY DAD SUFFER’.” as if we don’t know the answer to that. but still, would it kill Horikoshi to just confirm AFO’s involvement in all of this already. at this point it’s basically just a formality

so here’s hoping next week we’ll either get that, or more Hawks action, or (DARE I EVEN SUGGEST, I’M AFRAID TO JINX IT) finally cut back to Bakugou and Deku and All Might omg. either way I’m hyped