#the dean/lucifer parallels and sam has to decide who he belongs to (belonging to himself was never an option)

[lambmotifz]

5.22 swan song is just dean and lucifer being in metaphorical competition for sam’s pussy and they’re both losing but dean wins in the end because sam chooses him

[lucisfavoritedemon]

Serendipity

Pairing: Jack x Winchester!reader

Summary: Isn’t it sad to think that if certain things in your life never happened you would be totally different from the person you are today. Y/N and Jack were once parallel lines never destined to meet, but something in both their lives made them. Was it chance or just a fortunate accident?

Warnings: Fluff, angst, cuteness of young love, over protective brothers, language.

Word Count: 2008

A/N: Written for @thing-you-do-with-that-thing Spn Beautiful Words Challenge. My word was serendipity: the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way. This is just cute fluffiness with Jack. There is no smut because, well he is still technically a child. I just found this concept really cute. Enjoy!

She never planned on falling in love, ever. She had grown up in a life where attachments meant danger. Not just for you, but for the attachment itself. She had been taught at a young age to love but to keep your distance.

She never planned for one day love to come knocking on her door. She never expected it to be the very thing she was always taught to fear. He was her happy accident. The thing she never planned for, but the thing she always wanted.

Y/n Winchester was the youngest sibling. The boys didn't know she existed until after their father died. They had gotten a mysterious call from an unknown number. They agreed to meet and found out that she was their sister. Well sort of.

They took her in though. She knew the life that her father led. It was how her mother and him met. A hunt had brought them together. Y/n had called her dad wanting to tell him of her mother's passing, but instead got a voicemail saying to call Dean.

Her life became nothing but chaos then. She was almost teenager when she met up with the boys. Just started middle school. Dean didn't want to drag her all over like how they were raised, but Sam brought up a good point that she was already involved in the life, and whether they kept her out or not, she would always find her way back. They decided to take her to Bobby's. There he raised her and she finished school, but not without some changes to her life.

Hunting was always in her blood though. Even when she decided to go to college, she still hunted, but local hunts. It wasn't till she was going to go back to college for a summer semester when the boys found her again. This time they had someone with them. A boy who looked to be her age with light brown hair, and the most impressive eyes. She found herself staring at this man for a long time. That is till Dean broke her focus.

"Are you going to let us in or are you going to make us get a motel?" Dean said barging in anyways.

"Sorry I was hoping you would introduce me to your friend here."

"Not gonna happen. We are just watching him for a little while. We are just here for the night, then we are headed back to the Bunker."

"Right because you are afraid of me getting attached."

"Do you mind if we talk out in the hall for a second?" Dean asked grabbing her arm and practically dragging her out to the hallway.

"What is your problem? You just dragged me out of my apartment for no reason." She blurted out once he shut the door.

He looked around making sure no one was around before he spoke.

"You cannot have any association with that kid, do you understand? He is Lucifer's son. He could be dangerous and you are not going to have any part of this. You are going to finish school and live a normal life."

"Yeah because hunting is a normal life."

"You don't hunt anymore. You gave that up when you went off to school. At least you promised you would."

"Yeah well things change Dean. I have been taking local hunts. You know the occasional shifter and ghost."

"Oh...oh." Dean was shocked to hear her say this, but he was glad she had taken notice to the surrounding areas.

"I know I made a promise, but if I see something I'm not going to ignore it like most people do. I do my best to solve it."

"I'm actually really proud of you for that. I know you made a promise, but that's really cool you have done that."

Dean then filled her in on the stranger in her home. She found out his name was Jack. She loved that name. She felt it suited him.

Jack felt very intrigued by the youngest Winchester. He had no idea Sam and Dean even had a younger sibling. He wanted to know everything about her.

"Sam who's the girl that Dean is talking to?" Jack asked curious to hear her name.

"Oh that's our sister. She's our half sister, but her and Dean are so much alike she feels like a full sister."

"Oh, she seems very nice. To let us stay here at least."

Jack felt an odd need to know everything he could possibly know about this girl. He didn't know why he just did.

"Yeah, she has a kind heart. She cares a lot about people and their feelings." Sam said a smile growing on his face just thinking about her.

"She seems lonely though. Like she's missing something." Jack pointed out.

Sam never really noticed that before, but it could be that she just misses her mother. She was only 12 when she passed.

"At a young age she lost her mom just like you. She probably misses her a lot."

"Hey guys how about I run out and get some beer and some grub. I really don't have much here right now. I haven't been shopping for a while." She came in suggesting.

Jack couldn't stop looking at her. She was amazing and she had such a story to tell. All he had to do was look into her eyes and see that.

"Why don't Dean and I run out. You and Jack can stay here and set up a table or something. We wouldn't really know where things were anyways." Sam suggested.

Dean looked at him like he was crazy. He didn't want their little sister left alone with the son of Lucifer.

"Dude really?!" Dean shouted when they entered the hallway.

"She'll be fine. Don't worry. He just wants to get to know her. Plus I really want her to come home. She has spent so much time here, she hasn't even seen the Bunker yet. I feel we have missed quality time with her. Time we won't ever get back."

"I know, but Jack and her? I saw the way she looked at him dude. She is going to fall and he is going to hurt her."

"If that happens we'll interfere."

"Fine." Dean agreed reluctantly.

"So Jack, how's it feel to be babysat by my brothers?"

"It's quite interesting. I don't mind it though they both seem very nice."

"They are, but Dean can become very opinionated at times. Sam is gentle and kind hearted. He will look after you quite well. Sam is always the nurturing one."

"Yeah he is. He has been telling me that I'm not who my father was, but who I choose to be."

"Exactly only you get to decide that. Dean may have his opinions, but I can see there is not a bad bone in your body."

Jack appreciated her kind words. He still saw that she was lonely, but he didn't know what to do to make her not so lonely anymore.

"You seem very nice and kind hearted like Sam. I see more similarities between you and him rather than you and Dean. Yet, I feel something in your life is missing, much like Sam and Dean."

"It's love Jack. Because the life we live, we can't have attachments. For I have tried, I can't seem to find the right one for me."

"You will. You're kind, and beautiful, and amazing."

"That's very sweet of you Jack. I don't think it'll happen though. I'm not destined to be with anyone."

"Y/n you will find someone. This life won't take that away from you." Sam said startling her.

"We want you to live a normal life. Not the one we live." Dean chimed in sounding guilty.

"I want to be in this life. It's all I know. Even when I've been at school I still hunted. I don't want the normal life anymore. Jack is right I am missing something. I'm missing my brothers. I want to come home. Forever."

Jack felt he knew her now. She was a family person. She just needed her family.

~*~

Y/n had been living at the Bunker for a couple months now. Jack had taken off because of a hunt gone wrong.

Y/n was worried about him being out there on his own. Luckily, Jody had a lead on him and they were headed out to find him.

"I just hope he's okay. I have been so worried about him being out in the world by himself."

"Of course you have." Sam teased.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Yeah, what is that supposed to mean? You aren't pushing Jack on her are you? We've talked about this." Dean sounded worried. He didn't want Y/n to be with Jack, or anyone for that matter.

"I think he's good for her. She's probably opened up more to Jack in his first few months than she has her whole life." Sam said though Y/n could hear every word he was saying.

"You do realize I can still hear you two, right?" She interrupted them.

"Can you tell me I'm wrong then? If you can we'll drop it and leave you two alone." Sam compromised.

"You aren't wrong. But what I tell Jack is none of your business. I tell him things because he listens. When was the last time you ever listened to what I had to say?"

"We always listen to what you have to say." Dean piped in.

"Oh yeah? Then what did I suggest for breakfast this morning?" She quizzed them.

"Pancakes. The thing we had for breakfast." Dean responded not giving it a second thoughts.

"Wrong. Sammy?"

"Breakfast burritos from that restaurant you love so much." He caved knowing very well they both never hear what you have to say.

"Correct."

"No way she totally wanted pancakes this morning..."

She let them argue about this. All she could think about was Jack. She let herself get distracted, but only for a few minutes before her mind wandered back to the nephilim she has grown so fond of. It wouldn't be long before they were reunited.

~*~

Losing Jack was the hardest thing for Y/n. She only hoped her brothers and Castiel had the resources to get him back. She was walking on thin ice with her thoughts. If she didn't talk to someone, but she couldn't talk to anyone about this.

That's when she finally realized how she felt about him. She knew exactly where she belonged.

Though she hated to admit it, she was starting to fall for the young nephilim, and she was starting to fall hard.

She wanted nothing more than to figure out rescue him from this apocalypse world.

Jack wanted to find a way to destroy Michael and get back to his friend. He couldn't help but want to tell her everything he felt close to her. Closer than he ever felt with anyone. Even Castiel.

Every time he thought about her he smiled. He didn't know this unnatural feeling. He didn't even realize he was doing sometimes. It was just natural for her to make him smile whether she was with him or in his thoughts.

She distracted him when he needed a break. It was his way to cool down. Though he didn't know why, it made him feel good. He only hoped she did the same with him.

~*~

Her brothers had the perfect plan in place to save Jack and Mary from the Apocalypse World. It was almost full proof. Almost.

There was only one thing they were missing: Archangel grace. That was the last ingredient standing between her and the boy she had grown to love.

She only hoped Gabriel was healed enough to create the rip. Sadly it wasn't enough. He wasn't fully healed from what Asmodeus did to him.

All hope felt lost. She was never going to see her Angel again.

Tags:

@anotherwaywardsister @archangel-michael98 @atc74 @bella-ca @canadianspnhunter @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog @ericaprice2008 @impala-dreamer @impalaimagining @katymacsupernatural @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @luci-in-trenchcoats @mamaredd123 @masksandtruths @mirandaaustin93 @muchamusedaboutnothing @our-jensen-ackles-love @roxyspearing @sea040561 @snffbeebee @spnwaywardwitch @squirrelnotsam @winchesterprincessbride

[nellie-elizabeth]

Supernatural: Bring 'em Back Alive (13x18)

So.... this is a Buckleming episode. However, I must say I was mostly okay with it. As surprising as that is!

Cons:

There are a couple of different reasons to cringe when I see those dreaded names flash up on the screen. One of them is that they tend to do stupid things like kill off Charlie and Eileen. The other one is more of a structural issue. Buckleming episodes tend to be A-plot, and they tend to be crowded. This is no exception. We have the Asmodeus/Gabriel/Cas/Sam part of the story, we have the Apocalypse world story with Dean, Ketch, and Charlie, and then we have the Lucifer subplot. Honestly, cut the same amount of plot into two episodes, and just let it breathe a little bit more. Give us just a few more minutes with Apocalypse!Charlie so we can understand how hard it is for Dean to leave her behind. Give us more time with Cas and Sam talking to Gabriel before Asmodeus shows up. Give us more of an understanding of Lucifer's poor leadership skills before Sister Jo decides to leave him. Cramming all of this stuff into one episode means that we get the plot points taken care of, but we don't have quite enough time for nuance and development.

Also... I'm thrilled to see Charlie and everything, but I hate that she got written back into this story in an episode written by the very people who gutted her in a bathtub. The whole thing put a really sour taste in my mouth. I wanted them to stay the hell away from her, honestly.

Pros:

The Lucifer subplot was the weakest of the stories, but it offered some interesting moments. First of all, I'm thrilled that Danneel Ackles survives to guest star another day. Knowing these writers, I had a very real fear that Anael wouldn't survive the day. I also like that Lucifer is incompetent at ruling, lied to the angels about being able to give them their wings, and Sister Jo is there to call him on his shit. It's always refreshing to see him get taken down a peg or two. And it was interesting to explore the idea that Lucifer doesn't really want to find Jack, because he's afraid of failing his son when he does. Obviously Lucifer is the worst and needs to die, but I'm cool with exploring these interesting dynamics along the way.

Now let's turn to Gabriel, Sam, and Cas in the bunker. Where to even start with this? I love that Gabriel only breaks out of his funk and talks when Sam gives him a speech and actually says the words: "We need you. I need you." Talk about parallels with Destiel, let me tell ya. I was never a Sabriel shipper myself, but I'm sure those people were having a field day, and I'm happy for them. But even beyond that, the speech was just great. Sam compares himself to Gabriel - he didn't fit in with his family, he tried to leave the life that was ordained for him, but... his family needed him, and he had to step up and do the right thing. That's the position Gabriel is in now.

The fact that Gabriel's first spoken line is "porn stars" is also just so perfect and excellent. I love the fact that Gabriel really was all that messed up - it wasn't a trick, there isn't some quick fix. By the end of the episode he has killed his abuser, and I'm so happy that Gabriel got to be the one to take Asmodeus out. But as evidenced by his decision to immediately flee, he's not suddenly 100% back to his old ways. He threw in with the Winchesters during the ramp-up to the Apocalypse, but when things got bad, he backed out and remained hidden for as long as he could. It's going to take some coaxing to get him on their side, but I'd love to see him join in to Team Free Will, meet his nephew Jack, and kick Lucifer's ass eventually.

Cas was a total delight in his brief moments in this episode. I loved his reaction to the news that Dean was in the apocalypse world. He's actually pissed off at Sam for letting Dean go alone (or, with Ketch, but who's counting that?). I love Cas' protectiveness, and I love that it manifests in annoyance and grumpiness. And he gets to be a bad-ass in the fight against the infiltrating demons alongside Sam. It's fun to watch the two of them work together. On a final note, I just want to point out that when Ketch is talking about Dean going home, he says that he needs to bring reinforcements: "your brother, your angel." I love it when other people refer to Cas as belonging to the Winchesters in some way. Not in a creepy possessive sense, but just in the sense that everybody who has spent any time around them knows where Cas' loyalty and love is.

Finally, we've got Ketch and Dean in Apocalypse world. They see Charlie almost getting executed, and Dean is determined to go save her. He says it's because Charlie has seen Mary and Jack, but in reality obviously he wants to atone for Charlie's death in his own world. I'm not going to be cool with Ketch, and I'm not giving in to his redemption arc or whatever. But, I do believe him and his motives here, and it is interesting to see Dean and Ketch bonding. Back when Ketch was still with the British Men of Letters, he felt a kinship with Dean and wanted to work with him, and we're seeing even now that they have their similarities. I was actually a little bit moved by Ketch's obvious concern when Dean was injured. There's the moment when Dean collapses, his bullet wound corrupted with magic, and Ketch says Dean's name in this heartbreaking way, and rushes forward to help him. When Ketch hears the story of Charlie's death, he explains his own regrets. He's lost friends and allies, but he never tried to help them, all in the line of duty. You can see it's weighing on him now. Don't get me wrong - this doesn't absolve him of killing Mick or any of the other horrible things he did, but it does make him a little more interesting to watch.

Dean just broke my heart in this whole episode. His desperation to get to Charlie, trying to bite back the pain of his injury, his grudging acceptance of Ketch's company and aid... and then that ending. He goes back through the portal without Mary and Jack, leaving Ketch and Charlie behind. Ketch promises to gather intel, so that when Dean returns they can make a real go of finding their missing family. But of course, in the meantime Gabriel has taken his grace, restored his power, and fled the bunker. Sam and Cas have to give Dean the news that they're missing the archangel grace that can re-open a portal and get them back through to the Apocalypse world. And Dean's reaction? He's pissed, he's devastated, and he says "I never should have come back!" Obviously that's a tough pill to swallow for Sam and Cas, who were both so worried about him when he was away. Can you imagine what it would have been like for them if Dean hadn't shown up at all, and the portal had closed? Yikes.

I guess that's what I've got. For a Buckleming outing, this wasn't actually painful. No female characters were needlessly slaughtered, the dialogue wasn't too terribly hokey, and there were some genuinely powerful character beats from both Ketch and Gabriel. However, the overcrowding does pose a significant problem when you look at the pacing of the season as a whole. Next week we're back to C-plot, and then we're already in finale territory. I'm scared of what the future may bring!

8/10

[elizabethrobertajones]

Angels are watching over you [eye emoji]

I just saw a note on that post I did with the reindeer from 3x08 where I was laughing about Sam having a lil staring competition with it, and made a joke about it and got a random bit of hate out of the blue for my troubles... Suddenly remembered one of the only other times I've actually SEEN any of this mysterious fandom hate that I rarely actually encounter, was when I was commenting somewhere or other that Destiel starts in 1x12 (I mean I was being simplistic, *obviously* it has roots further back in 1x07 or 1x11 when we talk about narrative or symbolic character stuff)...

Anyway, concluding that apparently the most intolerable thing is getting your grubby little hands all over the early seasons by ever daring to even mention that in the future Dean is going to have one HECK of a thing for the angel, in the way that you can analyse any other part of the show for upcoming stuff such as knowing they'd been yearning to bring Mary back since at least like season 10 or something so all the little Mary-related things you find peppered through Carver era really are the build up to her return or whatever.

I'd like to just take a moment to bask in the fact that since 2x13 (also, you know... pre-Cas, in that holy untouched ground before Kripke decided to ruin the show by smearing angels all over it), Dean confirms that the last thing Mary ever said to him was "angels are watching over you", and we see the Winchester family pre-goodnights in 1x01 in the very opening scene of the show, and so in the background of the very opening of the show, we have this important Destiel-related moment occurring; once retconned in in season 2, from then on that scene has the little gap where Mary says goodnight to Dean and makes the entire fucking show from the first 30 seconds about Destiel.

And of course Mary returning in season 12 immediately brings us to the subtext that this is a part of their lives. I remember a previous rewatch, before season 12, I was getting weepy about 2x20 and Dean using the "angels are watching over you" line as a way to prove to himself that the Mary of his dream was real. And wondering how when he got the real Mary back, he would use that to convince himself. Instead, he was the one who ended up convincing her, and then when we see it from her eyes, after telling her the barebones facts of her life as proof he knows her and a lot of her secrets like the deal in ways that she would never have told anyone so literally just, like, Azazel or Dean from 2016 could have told her this... :P

He takes her back to his secret Batcave and if we take her life continuously it's been a couple of hours since she told this to her toddler Dean, but here is his actual angel who watches over him, rushing in for a hug... Again, just the way it looks to Mary... vindicating this thing she said, in an unexpected way, and despite how corrupted that line was in 5x13, turned into one of the few good and pure things to discover in the future. I even think that Cas was rushed back to the Bunker so quickly by the writing so that, because of the weight of 2x20 and answering it as fast as possible, using Cas to show Mary that she had been right about saying it...

And for season 12's arc for Cas, that was actually a significant part of his own personal arc, feeling like the guardian angel. We talked after 12x01 about Mary casually using Cas as a tool with that "hurt him" comment because she had read how Dean surface level seemed to use Cas and misunderstood the dynamic (and again in 12x03, assuming he belonged and this was what he wanted/how he was happy living with them), because for her seeing him as a guardian angel was such a natural assumption given what she had said and how Cas of all things seems to be the most remarkable but also the easiest for her to absorb into her world view, because after all, she already believed it to an extent...

And by 12x19 Cas's feeling about being a guardian angel is being laid right out in the open with it now being shown as a dangerous mindset in the same vein as the codependency - Cas's attachment to protecting the Winchesters without involving them or consulting with them, drawing out the attitude behind season 6 ("I still considered myself the Winchesters' guardian") ... and having just watched 11x17 which was a magnificent deconstruction of the issues behind the codependency, a template for what Berens and Dabb felt needed to be discussed about this all, in 12x19 Berens and Glynn deconstruct Cas for us and show us the underlying danger to himself of the patterns he's fallen into (by, of course, making him fall into them and then fall prey to a cosmic force seeking a guardian angel of its own, and with a universe so full of dick angels, the one who has fallen closest to humanity and been twisted into something kind and loving and devoted to being a guardian like no others do... There is no replacement for Cas, the ultimate guardian angel. Like other seasons such as 5 which used Michael and Lucifer as the sibling parallel to Sam and Dean to show some of the issues in their lives, Jack exposes Cas's core problem... that in the narrative, Mary once said, "angels are watching over you" and through enormous trials and with great irony, Cas has ended up being that angel and to her eyes, passing with flying colours in that job within hours of meeting him...

(And Mary is so important to the narrative and the way she unconsciously bent the entire Destiel narrative in this direction from the moment we found out what she said to Dean back in 2x13, Cas could not escape it... Fell into it in season 6 and Edund used this mindset maginficently to justify Cas's actions...)

And... Anyway, when we analyse a show, all parts of it are on the table as puzzle pieces to move around as we see fit, and many pieces from past seasons fit with future seasons, and many episodes or characters fit easily to others, like one of those super simple kiddie puzzles where all the bits are the same basic shapes, and the artist has made a design that loops up almost any way you connect it to create a different, four dimensional picture that honestly is impossible to visualise and leaves me thinking of my attempts to meta as always being the person with the wall covered in bits of paper and photos with all the red string linking up... Anyway, for me, Destiel has all the red strings converge down in season 1 and 2, filling up the background of everything that's going to happen with the pieces that are going to fit into the middle of so many character arcs and storylines in ways we never could have foretold but have now been built from the ground up from these ancient tropes and ideas on the show...

So yeah people who think of the first 3 seasons as some precious, untouched place Before Cas and Before Awful Destiel Shippers are actually Dead Wrong because as it has all unfolded, not just the shippers but the show itself has gone back time and time again and smeared its grubby, Cas-covered hands ALL over the show right back to the opening minute.

(The reindeer joke remains, however, a one-note blow air out of my nose moment and I am still baffled about why that of all things brought down brimstone and fury from someone with nothing better to do :P)

[tinkdw]

Cas’ agency in season 12 and why it is important for his endgame arc

I know there have been many posts especially yesterday from all sides explaining POV’s on why Cas is brainwashed or not and what this means, even though we all I think end up with the same speculation for season 13, it’s from a different starting point, which I think is interesting.

My POV is that Cas has his own agency in season 12 regarding Jack and that this is crucial to his endgame arc, that this is what we have already seen with choices and a relapse to old ways / call back to earlier character traits through Sam and Dean that then led to their own endgame arcs.

Sam and Dean have, e.g. season 8 and 9 ‘relapsed’ and gone back to old ways, mirroring themselves in earlier seasons, making mistakes around toxic codependency and self worth and the outcomes have been that these choices exactly led them into their new chapter and towards their endgame. I believe this is exactly what is happening here with Cas.

The pattern is: 1. call-back to prior negative behaviour 2. leads to making a bad decision  3. leads to death 4. leads to cementing the behaviour as negative, therefore subsequent character development into their endgame arc and happier selves

Hence the links in season 12, especially towards the end to seasons 4 and 6 in terms of why Cas makes these choices and why this is therefore important.

x

I’m tagging @amwritingmeta and @margarittet and @super-sootica as we have chatted a lot about this recently and some of these concepts are an amalgamation of all our thoughts…so I’m not alone in this. 

 It totally fits for me that Cas is making his own choice in season 12 to look for Paradise and have faith in Jack (he firstly had faith in God, then Dean and now Jack, finally he has to learn to have faith in himself), because it is the relapse /call back / exposition to how far he has come from the start that his character needs in order to move forwards, that we have already seen with Sam in accepting the trials / being codependent on Dean in season 8 (and 10) and more obviously Dean being codependent on Sam and accepting the Mark in season 9, directly leading to their development arcs, e.g. Dean who has just come out the other side thanks to MoC/Darkness/Mary which all stem from this moment of relapse and Sam’s has also developed in season 11 and 12, leading them to having their better relationship and making good choices and WINNING re: Mary and the BMoL.

This relapse by Cas to his old ways is a clear parallel of their stories, of their call back moments and subsequent development, as Cas’ arc often comes a little after theirs and therefore it doesn’t make sense if it is NOT his choice. 

It also therefore makes sense that he dies because of it, in order to start his new chapter and grow into his endgame as they have. It all fits and makes sense to me.

Cas in season 6

Cas was not wrong in season 6. Cas was not wrong to want to stop the second apocalypse. We just had 2 whole seasons of desperately trying to stop apocalypse 1. What WAS wrong was his desire to protect the boys and act as their guardian Angel rather than working alongside them on equal footing, then the lack of communication and the boys lack of trust in HIM at the end. That is what led to the Leviathans being released, but Cas was not wrong to want to stop Raphael and it was Dean’s lack of trust in him and Sam stabbing him in the back that led to the issues moving forwards. 

For me it’s extremely important that Cas here in season 12 is acting like old Cas in season 6, that he has had character development for sure, but not completely, to the end, because he is not fully cooked yet. 

If Cas IS getting character development to the point that he isn’t old Cas anymore then why does he seem depressed and listless all season, and last season, why did he die if he is growing and already nearing his final form? Dying is a “punishment” / “new beginning” and we have seen in s12 that he still doesn’t think he belongs and needs to be the boys guardian angel even though he says they are family, he doesn’t act like they are equal, he still is trying to be their babysitter, as Dean tries to point out, but it’s too little too late. Cas still hasn’t fully learned his lesson (partly because Dean has not been totally honest with him but mostly because of his own issues) and he needs this catalytic moment of realisation, just as Sam and Dean have had. 

Cas was right to want to stop Raphael. BUT he went about it in the wrong way, trying to protect the boys and keep them out of it (exactly like s12). Then when he did need their backing towards the end of the season (12x19 waves hello to 6x20 and 6x22) they didn’t trust him and his plan. They did not stand behind him the “one time he asked”. They said No. It was the lack of family backing that was the issue in s6 and led to the leviathans being freed.

For me, if they had stood behind him then that wouldn’t have happened as Cas literallly said “you’re not my family Dean” when he decided to keep the Leviathans inside him in 6x22 and became Godstiel, after he told Dean he WAS his family in trying to get them to work together in 6x21. This is a clear link between the two - that it is Dean’s lack of support in 6x21 that led him to keeping the Leviathan inside him and of course Sam literally stabs him in the back, you cannot get more of a metaphorical stabbing in the back than that!

CASTIEL: I thought you said that we were like family. Well I think that too. Shouldn’t trust run both ways? DEAN: Cas, I just can’t… CASTIEL: Dean, I do everything that you ask. I always come when you call, and I am your friend. Still, despite your lack of faith in me, and now your threats, I just saved you, yet again. Has anyone but your closest kin ever done more for you? All I ask is this one thing. DEAN: Trust your plan to pop Purgatory? CASTIEL: I’ve earned that, Dean. Then of course Dean doesn’t.

Which leads to:

It seems clear to me that he would have sent the Leviathans back at Dean’s suggestion IF Dean had supported him in 6x22. That is the link there, purposefully made. They wouldn’t have been able to hang on as it was so early on. I’m not saying it is Dean’s fault, it’s just a running theme that when TFW don’t work together and support each other they end up with bad things happening. I wrote about this earlier this week.

If you look at every season of SPN it’s when the characters work together that they win and when they don’t that they lose… it’s a running theme.

Relapses and references to earlier seasons’ characteristics are expositions of how they have changed and are what lead to all of TFW’s growth and getting their endgame arc.

Sam and Dean themselves have gone through this which is why I think it is relevant to Cas now, who usually follows their arcs a little time afterwards.

Sam and Dean have had lots of character development but then still made “bad choices” because of relapses back to their old toxically codependent and lack of self worth ways in recent years (I’m thinking 8x23, 9x11 and 10x23 for example) but which then led to their final endgame arc to become their best selves. So, given that Cas’ arc usually follows theirs, this makes sense to me that in season 12 Cas relapses back to old ways here and the season 6 link is for me absolutely clear all season, culminating in the season end which directly mirrors season 6. 

In season 8 Sam was exaggeratedly toxically jealous of Benny, tried to escape the life and Dean and Sam were toxically codependent on each other (relapse and reference to earlier seasons) and they ended up “losing” and Sam nearly dying (mirroring Cas’ death). 

In season 8/9 Dean was toxically codependent on Sam again and had so much lack of self worth that he took on the Mark with no question (similar to Cas/Lucifer) and again, they ended up “losing” in 8x23 and 9x23, with Dean’s death in 9x23 (mirroring Cas’ death).

BUT!

Sam then grew thanks to the subsequent Gadreel arc (and IMO is still ongoing) and Dean has had such huge growth due to the subsequent MoC/Darkness/Mary arc which we have banged on about all season, how in 10x16 Dean now realises thanks to the Mark that he wants more from life and deserves more, how Amara and Mary have led to his final push of self worth / self acceptance arc, culminating in 12x22.

So their relapses / call backs to earlier selves have led to their endgame arc...

These relapses (and they have to be out of choice) therefore are key moments where the characters subsequently realise their error, the call back shows how far they have come and this relapse is so frustrating to watch but it is necessary for them to realise that this is not what they want, this is not who they are anymore, they then start a new chapter of development that leads to their endgame.

It’s the trope when a character sleeps with their ex towards the end of a movie, the relapse then makes them realise that this is not who they are anymore or what they want. It then leads into their endgame arc.

Cas in season 12

This is why I think it IS Cas’ choice in 12x19 and he has his own agency, because Cas is right about Jack being good in the same way he was right about needing to stop Raphael and the second apocalypse, but the way he goes about it is old Cas style, it’s his call back moment. He didn't work alongside the boys, he kept trying to be their guardian Angel and trying to protect them rather than work alongside them. Meanwhile Dean hasn't learned to be honest with his feelings yet etc. though he was so nearly there, the mixtape, telling him he’s not their babysitter.... so close.

THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT NEED TO CHANGE FOR CAS’ ENDGAME AND HAVE THEREFORE BEEN SHOWN AS BEING THE THINGS THAT NEED ADDRESSING BY THIS CHOICE.

Jack will I believe end up being a force for good and Cas is right here, just as he was right to stop Raphael. BUT the issue is when one or multiple of them make decisions for the others or work without them even if it’s out of a desire to protect - they need to work as a team and allow the others to have equal footing and equal choices and trust and until they do that they won’t win. Like s5 and s11 and… that’s when they won.

So, why did Cas “accept” paradise? Have faith in Jack? (Which we know are seen as bad things in SPN and seem to send him back to s4 - a relapse).

A. I don’t think this is necessarily what Jack has planned for Earth or that he sees this as a negative thing or that he can't be convinced not to do it or even that Cas really necessarily did see this, as @super-sootica says, what exactly was he supposed to say to a dying woman who did believe her son would bring the world to it’s feet... but that’s another story. Paradise - it’s a call back to what Angels and Cas used to think was a good thing and to be aimed for.

B. I think this is exactly the same as Sam and Dean’s relapses, the call backs to earlier character traits as mentioned earlier for Sam and Dean which then led to their new chapter, development and endgame, with both of them dying to boot. OK Sam didn't actually quite die, but basically he wanted to die and would have died but Dean / Gadreel ‘saved’ him, Dean also died and was ‘saved’ by becoming a demon then saved by Cas and Sam, it’s a clear parallel for me of:

call-back to prior behaviour bad decision => death => subsequent character development.

This is Cas’ “dark night of the soul” moment as @amwritingmeta says, which is exactly why this is brought up because we all associate paradise with s4 Cas and brainwashed Angels, will lead him through the outcome (Jack) to get to his endgame.

So for me, it fits the pattern of the show with the “dark” relapse moment, out of choice, leading to their development arc with what comes from it (eg. Gadreel for Sam, Amara for Dean and now Jack for Cas) and their happy endgame.

[hekate1308]

The Wheel Has Come Full Circle

Saving Crowley. Hunting The Writers. The Fandom Business. 

They arrived at the portal at sundown.

Without surprise, Crowley realized he would actually miss Mary.

She seemed to be thinking along the same lines because she said, “We’ve been through much together in the last two years.”

They had. Him waking up human after having killed himself as a demon for reasons he had yet to understand, him finding the last remaining humans, finding out Mary had joined them as well, all teaming up to get rid of Lucifer, finally bringing peace to this world by negotiating with both the angels and the demons...

It almost made him dizzy to think about it.

And then, after almost twenty-four months of non-stop fighting, they’d learned about the portal. The portal that could bring exactly one human back to their world.

Their home.

He’d tried very hard not to think about the world he’d come from like this, but he couldn’t help it. As little as they had ever cared about him, Dean, Sam and Castiel had been the only friends he’d ever made in his life – both mortal and as a demon.

He was certain Mary could tell he yearned to step trough the portal himself. To return home.

And as a demon, he would have done it.

But he wasn’t a demon anymore. He was human, with all teh guilt, regrets and emotions it entailed, and he knew he couldn’t keep the boys from reuniting with their mother.

“You want to go back, don’t you?” Mary asked quietly.

Lying was pointless. She’d come to know him too well. He nodded.

She dropped her bag.

“I don’t know if they’ll be happy to see me”.

“I’m sure they will.”

When she didn’t answer, he added, “At least they’ll be much gladder than if I suddenly knocked on the bunker’s doors again.”

He could just imagine the distain on the boy’s faces when they realized he actually needed  a place to sleep for the night, how they’d clean out the room farthest from their own, how he’d be expected to leave as soon as possible.

And yet not even those expectations made it easier for him to watch the portal close behind Mary.

After a pause, she said, “I’m their mother. I only wanted what was best for them. I still do.”

“Being a parent entails difficult decisions” he agreed, as always with a pang – stronger than when he’d watched him walk away, courtesy of his human emotions – as he thought of Gavin.

“At least” she began, her voice breaking.

She cleared her throat.

“At least this time everyone agrees I am doing the right thing”.

He couldn’t recall any lengthy discussions. Everyone had just known what the discovery of the portal meant.

But then – maybe she hadn’t wanted Crowley to hear them. Because she knew. Of course she knew.

She knew how desperately he wanted to go home.

But he couldn’t.

The things he’d done...

He still had nightmares. None of the other campers had ever mentioned it.

Mary held out a hand.

“Goodbye, Crowley”.

He grasped it firmly. For two years, longer than the boys had got to spend with her, they’d fought side by side, and sometimes each other when they didn’t agree with their respective plans; and he liked to think she’d remember him as something like a friend.

“Good –“

It happened suddenly. In his defence, it never could have happened if she hadn’t taken him by complete surprise.

But with one twist and one shove, she’d thrown him right into the portal.

The last thing he heard before everything went dark was a cry of “Please look after them, Crowley!”

When he came to, he was lying in the woods.

And that was enough to remind him what had happened. There had been no more forests in that other world.

He got up, groaning.

She’d actually done it.

Mary had shoved him through the portal, the one that would have closed behind him again, and told him to look after the boys.

He didn’t understand. In what world would they be better off with him than with their mother?

Mary’s duffle bag was lying a few feet away from him. She must have thrown it after him immediately.

He opened it to find his suspicions confirmed. She’d filled it with his clothes and the few odds and ends he’d acquired during their struggles instead of her belongings.

At least this time everyone agrees I am doing the right thing.

That was what she had said. And suddenly, their departure this evening made sense.

Of course the whole camp had shown up to bid Mary Winchester goodbye. Ever since she and Crowley had managed to take down Lucifer together last year, they’d been something like the unofficial leaders, alongside this universe’s Bobby Singer, of course.

“Mary” he began, “We’ll miss you. But we get it”.

Mary smiled.

There was melancholy in her eyes.

It was easy to understand.

She’d adjusted far quicker to this apocalyptic world because she had to, and had made friends in it; but still –

She’d go to get home.

Crowley quickly looked away as she talked with the other Jody Mills, as he’d come to call her (they’d never become close; guilt had finally reared its ugly head now that he was mortal again).

He turned away to find Bobby Singer looking at him.

This version was rather close to his counterpart. The boys would have loved him.

“Crowley. You’re accompanying Mary?”

“Yes. She asked me to”.

He couldn’t quite figure out why. Another annoying thing about being human: emotions tended to get in the way of rational thinking. He was too busy wandering what would happen if he went through the damn portal instead to completely grasp Mary’s motives.

Bobby nodded.

“Good. Wouldn’t want anyone stumbling out there alone.” He cleared his throat. “You’re a good fighter.”

“Just doing my best to show these demons what true majesty looks like”.

His former kingship had long been turned into the camp’s longest-running joke.

Bobby grinned before drawing him into a quick hug, taking him off guard.

“See you, Crowley”.

Looking back, it was easy to see everyone had made a point of telling him goodbye, not just Mary.

They’d all been in on it.

He swallowed as he grasped the handle of the duffle bag strongly enough for it to cut into his palm.

He was home.

They’d sent him home.

Mary’s last words –

For some reason, she’d become convinced that it would be better for her sons if Crowley came back.

But it was probable they’d not even let him into the bunker.

As a human, he was of no use to them.

But still –

He owned nothing but the things in the bag.

Yet he was home.

And Mary had given him a purpose.

He’d make his way to the bunker.

He had to try.

After he’d walked for a while, he thankfully stumbled onto a highway. Following it, he soon arrived at a small town – thankfully not small enough that people looked at every stranger suspiciously, although he did catch a few confused glances in his direction.

Small wonder, when he finally saw himself in the dirty mirror of a gas station bathroom.

The other universe hadn’t been exactly the cleanest. Or the most comfortable.

There was only so much he could do about his appearance now, though. First, he needed money and a car. Then he’d drive for a few hours and find a cheap motel.

Crowley sighed remembering the old days of thirty-year-old Craig and luxurious bathrooms.

He was still as adept at pick pocketing as he had always been though, and two hours later found him in what he would have once called a “pimp car” (he had miserably eyed a Mustang in the same parking lot, but he didn’t want to draw attention to himself) on the way to Lebanon.

But as quickly as he wanted to get to the bunker – the very next day, as he was going through the local news, he heard about something sounding suspiciously like ghost activity.

He bit his lip.

Seemed like a quick salt and burn.

That night, he was on his way to the grave of the ghost. It hadn’t taken him long to figure out it was the old town drunk taking revenge.

Only when he arrived at the grave, someone else was there already, digging.

“Dean?” he asked before he could stop himself.

The hunter whipped around. Crowley had only a second to register the utter rage and disdain on his face before Dean threw himself at him.

Crowley, even as a human, had become an excellent fighter: the necessity of staying alive in the parallel world had ensured that. But he didn’t want to harm Dean in the slightest, and so it was only predictable that he ended up lying in the dirt, the hunter hovering over him, a silver knife pressed against his throat.

Dean still had the same expression on his face.

Seriously, what had Mary been thinking?

“It’s not even been a year” Dean hissed. “And you think you can just come here and impersonate – “

It was at this point, Crowley trying to figure out how Dean had decided that he was shifter of all things, when the ghost attacked.

He would have torn through Dean’s back if Crowley hadn’t thrown him off, feeling a slight nick on his neck, and rolled to safety himself.

He grabbed the iron bar he’d brought with him.

“The bones, Squirrel!”

Dean froze for a second, but then scrambled into action while Crowley kept the ghost at bay.

A few minutes later, it was all over.

Dean looked at the jarred remains of the bones, then back at Crowley.

He wordlessly handed him his knife.

“Alright. I’ll give you a chance to talk. Who are you?”

He rolled his eyes.

“I’d say “take a guess” but –“

“Everyone would know he used to call me Squirrel” Dean mused. “But if you’d really wanted to fool me you’d have worn a suit and you wouldn’t look so butch”.

“You try to keep your weight stable in a puss-filled apocalyptic nightmare” he spat.

Dean unexpectedly chuckled.

“You got his accent down, I’ll give you that.”

“You know what? You don’t believe me, ask me anything, anything only I would know”.

Dean studied him for a moment with something like – fear? in his eyes.

“What did Crowley tell me when I came back down the elevator after he’d tricked me into letting several demons beat me up?”

That was easy enough, even though he winced at the memory.

“That’s what you get working with a demon”.

Dean’s eyes were wide as he approached him. He raised a hand and touched his shoulder.

“Crowley?”

“Yes.”

“You’re – alive – “

“And human, in case you’re wondering.”

Dean nodded.

“Alright.”

Crowley wasn’t surprised he didn’t take long to process the news. This was Dean Winchester, after all.

“Not that I’m not glad to see you, but how?”

He was shocked when he realized Dean meant it.

But he really didn’t want to explain that his mother had decided to abandon him once again in an old graveyard.

He cleared his throat.

“Don’t get me wrong, Squirrel, but this talk definitely should not be had sober”.

“I’d been checking up on Garth when I read about this case, so I figured I might check it out –“

Crowley coughed.

Dean had decided to pick up the tab for tonight, so naturally he’d gone for a glass of Craig, only to realize that he’d only had light beer in the last two years.

Dean laughed.

“Oh my God, you’re a freaking light weight!”

“I will have you know I stabbed Lucifer in the chest.”

“Good for you”.

He eyed his shoulder.

“You got a tattoo?”

“Several. Have an anti-possession one on my collar bone, too.” Crowley shrugged. “Just realized I liked them”.

Dean nodded.

Then, after a pause, he asked, “What happened?”

“It’s been six months, right?”

He’d seen the date on a newspaper this morning.

When Dean nodded he said, “It’s been two years for me”.

“Huh.”

“When I stabbed myself, I was convinced this was it. I didn’t have anything to live for anyway. I hated Hell, my son and my mother were both dead – “ and the only ones I would have called my friends despised me, he wanted to add, but it seemed only pointless. Dean was apparently really happy to see him.

“And then I woke up human. I have no idea how, or why.”

“And so you killed Lucifer.”

“I wasn’t alone. Your mother...” he trailed off.

Dean swallowed and looked down at his glass.

“She dead?”

“No”.

And Crowley did his best to explain what had happened.

“Son of a bitch” Dean muttered in the end.

“Dean...” he began, unsure what to say. He didn’t exactly have the best track record when it came to mother-son relationships himself.

“You know what’s making me angry? It’s not even that she chose to send you instead of going to find us herself.”

Dean stood up; his chair scrapped along the floor.

“It’s that she was goddamn right.”

Crowley didn’t know what to say.

“I need some air”.

Dean stormed out.

Crowley sighed.

After five minutes of nursing his drink, he went to look for him.

He was in the parking lot, talking on the phone.

“Yes, Sam, alright? I’m damn sure. You are the one who never lets me forget our “Summer of Love”” he snapped. “But you know what? Let her out. If it’s him, she’ll come running”.

Crowley withdrew into the shadows and waited until Dean hung up. Only then did he step up to him.

“Are you...” he stopped.

Dean chuckled.

“The former King of Hell just asked me if I’m alright...”

He shrugged.

“I have no idea, to be honest”.

“I could say the same.”

Dean grinned.

“Got a motel room yet?”

“No.”

“Wanna share?”

And that was how they ended up sharing a motel room.

Crowley was wondering who Dean could have been talking about on the phone. Was an angry Sheriff Mills about to descend upon him? But why would Sam have to “let her out?”

He was still pondering these questions when they heard a scratching noise at the door.

“Damn it, she’s fast” Dean said and before Crowley could ask, he went to open it.

The next thing he knew, there was an invisible but very happy hell hound in his lap, slobbering all over him.

He couldn’t even bring himself to feel annoyed.

“Juliet?”

She barked excitedly.

“Juliet!”

He patted her.

“Did you miss Papa?”

More slobbering.

Dean grimaced.

“Showed up at the bunker a few weeks after you – well. Didn’t feel right to get rid of her. Do you know she drinks Craig, by the way?”

“Of course. Only the best for my little girl.”

“Your – you know what, she’s sleeping on your bed.”

Of course she was.

He soon figured out that Dean wasn’t quite as annoyed by Juliet as he pretended to be, but he still put his foot down the next day.

“No. Dogs. In. The. Car. I don’t care if she’s invisible – she’ll be there sooner than us anyway.”

“Alright” he acquiesced, more out of surprised that Dean would so readily accept him as a passenger than anything else.

He crouched down.

“You be a good girl and go back to the bunker, alright? Papa’s going to be there soon. I promise”.

She licked his hand and left.

Dean shook his head.

“You and your hellhounds...”

“I will have you know they are very useful pets.”

“I know. One day, a group of ghouls tried to invade the bunker when we weren’t there.”

“How did it end?”

“What do you think? We came home and cleaned up ghoul bits for weeks.”

He grinned.

That was his girl.

They drove all day and way into the night to get to the bunker. Crowley’s biggest surprise was when after lunch, Dean mustered him once more up and down then handed him the keys to the Impala.

“Knock yourself out.”

“You’re letting me drive your car?”

“I’m tired. Plus, I’m curious about your driving. Bet you never got a licence.”

He shot him a glare. Dean winked.

“Knew it”.

It kept surprising him how comfortable his and Dean’s impromptu comradeship was.

They arrived late at night.

As expected, Juliet was waiting by the door for them.

Crowley petted her as Dean used his keys.

Sam and Cas were waiting for them in the dining room.

There was something... different about the angel.

He realized it was he was studying his tattoos.

“You’re human too, Cassie?”

“Long story” Dean said tiredly.

“Let’s just say baby Lucifer brought him back human so he could “enjoy paradise properly” and then I stabbed him when he started babbling about world domination”.

“Alright then. Hello, Moose.”

Sam shuffled his feet, obviously intent on saying something.

“No” Dean suddenly announced “We are not doing this.”

“But Dean he was – “

“I know, alright? I know. I also know the guy saved me from a ghost and got all teary-eyed when his freaking dog came to greet him. This is a good thing, okay? For once, we got a good thing, and I’m not going to ruin it. Crowley, you’re with me”.

“I didn’t get teary-eyed” he said petulantly as they strolled down the corridors, Juliet at his side.

“Sure you didn’t. Now, this is mine, Cas’, Sammy’s, Garth took that one, Claire declared this one her own, better not risk it, but the other should be...”

“You’re giving me a room?”

“I assumed you’d want to stay.”

He did. There was no denying it.

He reached down to pet Juliet once more as he nodded.

“Well then. Take your pick.”

In his room that night, he made a promise.

I will look after them, Mary. Come what may.

[awed-frog]

hey! i wanted to let you know that i think your cas/stages of grief meta was absolutely amazing. cas's story never really made sense to me, it always seemed so inconsistent, like they had no idea where they were going with it, and your meta is the first i've read that made me see some central theme in it after all. so kudos for that :) just out of curiosity, you have any idea where they're going with crowley? bc his story is another one that always felt the opposite of straightforward to me.

Whats your hope for Crowleys arc on this season?

Hi! Thank you so much for all that! I am the most awful person, because not only I’m like, two months late in answering this but I’m also going to bundle it up with an anon ask. Sorry, @andallthewildthingsroared!

(I did write the overly long thing I promised you, though, so there’s that.)

I understand where you’re coming from - Crowley’s arc is sort of zigzaggy, but if you take away what was clearly bad characterization (such as that one-off threat to Sam complete with red eyes which never went anywhere), I sort of feel like we can know who Crowley is, and what he wants.

Background

So, just as a summary - we know he was a bastard, and that he had a stable enough relationship with his mother that he remembers her (not fondly), and that she up and left soon enough that it felt like she was abandoning him (eight is a bit soon to fend for yourself, even in the seventeenth century). We know he had a son, and since Gavin’s mother is never mentioned, I want to say unremarkable entity who died in childbirth? Because if this had been his great love, and if she’d survived long enough to be remembered by Gavin, I hope to God that would have been brought up in the narrative (come on). So, either Crowley didn’t give a damn about her, and got saddled with the kid for some reason, or he cared a lot and she died pretty early on and that’s possibly the reason he started being so awful to everybody (hello, John Winchester’s parallels). We also know he was a tailor, which, in those times, and for an orphan, implies either that Rowena used magic to help him out (unlikely for a number of reasons) or that he was actually a very smart, very talented kid who had to work his ass off during his apprenticeship, as was usual for the times. In this case, we’ve got someone whose life was out of his control from a very young age, and who knows what it’s like to be at a master’s whim. 

Demon deal

Now, what doesn’t fit with this picture is the idea a kid like that would sell his soul for a longer dick, as Crowley boasted to have done (also, as amusing as it is, this would be a moot point by now, since Crowley’s in a different body). What I consider more likely is that Crowley’s current vessel - the literary agent in his late forties possibly all work and all play as that job often entails - tried to make a similar deal (and that would be a reason for Crowley to stick with the body afterwards; after all, we know he’s vain and likes to sleep around, so, vessel for vessel, why not go for a bigger dong?); as for Crowley himself, I really can’t guess what happened. Gavin remembers him as a useless drunkard, and he certainly had no riches to pass on - so much so, Gavin was forced to emigrate to the Colonies. What did Crowley gain, exactly, in exchange for his soul? An intriguing possibility is that, like Dean, he took the deal to save someone else - perhaps Gavin himself from some childhood fever - and became a drunk asshole out of blind panic the closer he got to the deadline. I like this explanation, because there was always this weird pull between Crowley and Dean, and this would go a long way towards explaining it; but, really, this is one of those things it’s useless to speculate about - either the show will tell us, or it won’t.

(Another possibility I like, but which would have come up by now, is that Rowena sold her kid’s soul to pay for her own magic - a plot bunny I explored here.)

Whatever his reasons, Crowley’s time in hell took this primal lack of control over his own life and made it a thousand times worse. We still don’t know, exactly, how demons are created, how long it takes, and who decides which eyes you’ll get, and which job you’ll do. This is, like, one of the 2000 things the show could get into instead of inventing new lore (I’m not complaining, though - S11 was magnificent, and S12 has been very good so far). What we do know is that the entire process is excruciatingly painful; that it distorts, or takes away, your human soul. If we think about other soulless creatures we’ve encountered, what Crowley is makes a lot of sense. It’s not about being evil, exactly; it’s more about a lack of caring and empathy. There are moments where Crowley actually reminds me of soulless!Sam - like when he pushed Dean into Cain’s arms just because it was convenient on the short term. 

Crowley the crossroads demon

Becoming a demon is also the worst kind of punishment, we should assume, because it completely takes away your free will.

(This is not exactly true, since we’ve seen a lot of demons doing stuff on the side and betraying their masters left, right and centre - but I want to think those demons breaking ranks parallel the mess that’s going on in Heaven - that these are creatures that, under normal circumstances, ie, pre-Winchesters and pre-Apocalypse, functioned as mindless servants under a king. Like angels, demons can, theoretically, think for themselves, but I feel like they’re not designed to? Although, where the angels craved order - and orders - Crowley was hoping to get support by promising other demons ‘a say, a virgin and all the entrails they can eat’ - which means demons are perhaps not as happy as angels to give up their agency. And, well, it would make sense: they do not belong to a different species, after all. They used to be human.)

And so we’ve got the transformation from human!Crowley, indentured to some abusive master as a boy, to demon!Crowley, who’s got no choice but to follow his torturers around. Except, well, Crowley’s smart (too smart for his own good, probably) and ballsy and free will is something he cares about, very fucking much (and this is another tie to Dean). From what we know, it looks like Crowley schemed and schmoozed his way into acquiring enough weapons, knowledge, powers and secrets that he was almost part of the inner circle which was preparing for Lucifer’s return. And here is where his story gets interesting, because, to get Roman about it, “We rob the world, but he will rifle the deep. If the enemy be rich, Lucifer will be rapacious; if he be poor, Lucifer will lust for dominion; he will make a desert and call it peace.”

Crowley and the Winchesters

I don’t remember if it’s ever explained why Crowley chose to bet on the Winchesters, of all people, to go against Lucifer. I think we’re meant to not question this - to assume that they’re our main characters and fierce hunters and yadda yadda, but it’s still interesting that Crowley would know them - and well, at that. I like to think they’d been on his radar from the very beginning (or, at least, that Sam was) because of Azazel’s demented scheme, and it’s certainly possible Crowley knew everything about their dealings with Hell, including Sam’s death, Dean’s self-sacrifice, and how and why he was saved. He’s been shown, after all, to be one of the most knowledgeable characters on the board, and if he’s been keeping track of the Winchesters for years and years, that would go a long way in explaining his fond exasperation for their antics. 

Now, Crowley is, of course, fascinating and interesting in himself, but what is also worth noting is that his character, like Cas’ (and perhaps even more than Cas’), is relevant in light of his relation to Dean - and Dean’s sexuality.

The first thing here is - unlike Cas, who, inevitably, had a very strong relationship with Dean from the start which made perfect narrative sense, Crowley could always go either way. It can even be argued that logically, it would have made more sense to pair him off with Sam. First of all, there’s the symmetry (Dean and his angel, Sam and his demon); then there’s the fact Crowley’s got more in common with Sam than he does with Dean - the books, the art, the interest in weird languages and weirder mythology, a general ‘the end justifies the means’ attitude - I know we now have years of backstory to influence how we view those characters, but if we take them in isolation - sure, Dean and Crowley would have fun on a night out (and we’ve seen what they do together: play pool, get drunk, sleep it off with a various number of partners of unspecified gender), but Sam and Crowley - now, that had the potential of a real friendship of the minds (as I said, forget about their history and put aside Crowley’s shady morals for a second - can’t you see how much fun they would have had to explore the Bunker’s library together? how they could have planned thefts, Leverage-style, to recover some painting stolen by an oil magnate - how they would have fought at the end, because, of course, Sam wanted to donate it to a museum and Crowley, well, was planning on keeping it, because he0d bloody well earned it?). Sam becoming friends with a demon after the whole Ruby ordeal would have been a huge bout of character growth, in line with his ‘forgive and don’t judge people by their birth’ personality. And as for Crowley, it would have made sense for him to bond with Sam rather than Dean - if only for the obvious reason: Sam could still be (potentially) his future boss. The boy with the demon blood; the only vessel that can hold Lucifer. Honestly, since Crowley never wanted to be king in the first place, it would have made perfect sense for him to seduce Sam (platonically) and then guide him to the throne - there, problem solved. He would have been chief advisor of The One Who Was Foretold, right there at Sam’s right hand to keep an eye on his every decision, and he would have known, because he would have taken the time to get to know Sam, that Sam (even as a demon king) would be a fair ruler - and, more importantly, a ruler loyal to his old friends.

It was, really, the perfect scheme - and yet the idea never came up at all. In fact, Sam and Crowley lost another momentous occasion to get closer to each other - even after Sam fed Crowley his own blood, the relationship between them remained distant at best, and hostile at worst. That always struck me as really, really weird. Sam saw Crowley at his most vulnerable, and despite being Mr Forgiveness, he continues to hate Crowley with a vengeance and the whole thing never comes up at all. Uh.

I mostly think the main reason for this is very simple: Sam ‘I desperately need my own plotline’ Winchester is straight. Very straight. Pairing him with a man would have been weird. Mirroring the relationship Dean has with Cas - weirder. The thing worked until Ruby was around, but with Crowley they would have missed a lot of juicy subtext. And so, once again and despite all odds, Dean got yet another character to add to his court, and Sam was left with nothing more than Lucifer’s mild interest in him (or, as Sam himself put it in entaglednow’s side-splitting series, “Great, you get the epic love story and I get the creepy sadomasochistic non-con.”).

(This is another reason, by the way, why their refusal to be clearer on the whole ‘Dean is bi’ issue is hurting the show: it is partly, or mostly, because they’re desperate to keep that subtext going that Dean gets all the characters - people like Charlie, or Benny, or even Jody offering him to talk in her most suave mom voice - all of these things make sense in the narrative because they’re feeding the underlying subtext. And since this is, objectively, a Big Story and the core of who Dean is, and Sam’s only stake in it would be a tragic ‘I know I said I’d die for him, but I’ll now reject my gay brother out of moral virtue’ nonsense which clearly doesn’t apply to the character, he’s left with literally nothing to do. Really - most of the story seems to gravitate around these two open secrets - Dean’s sexuality, and Dean’s love for Cas; and since, as I said, Sam’s got nothing to do with either, and no reason to be mad about either, he’s left with no narrative role. Only yesterday @tinkdw was saying how the entire myth arc of S11 doesn’t make any sense without Destiel, and she’s perfectly right; most things, for a lot of time, have been about Dean’s heart.

And I want to add that I’m not okay, or happy, with any of this. First, I think it’s dishonest to include so much subtext that it basically props up your whole narrative while denying anything’s going on; and second, Sam’s a fantastic character and there’s a lot he could do - it defies logic and reason that they’re not using him better. Like, I still can’t believe the entire God reveal was only about Dean, that we still haven’t heard how Sam feels about Lucifer being around, that he’s barely had one conversation with his mother, and that he basically has zero relationships with other characters. Come on - there’s so many awesome things you could do with someone like Sam, why aren’t they doing them? On a show that’s supposedly all about the two of them, and only the two of them?)

Crowley’s arc

By having Crowley’s represent Dean’s eros to Cas’ agape (and I want to say this is a learned reference, but I’m really just thinking about YOI right now), the main mirror for Crowley, and therefore his character arc, was firmly established. Crowley would parallel Cas - and viceversa. The journey, for both of them, is to get closer to humanity (and ‘humanity’), and what’s been fascinating is that, of course, they start off in two very different places.

As I said in the beginning, Crowley’s all about control. He’s very Scarlett O’Hara about things, and he’s got good reason to be. In this, he’s heavily paralleled with Cas, but where Cas focuses his newfound (?) free will on everything but himself - hence the Jesus-like characterization - Crowley’s most consistent character trait is his selfishness. All of his schemes, and most of his ambitions, are ultimately directed at saving himself and avoid pain and death, which, to be honest, would be sensible from anyone’s point of view but is particularly understandable if we consider we’re dealing with a soulless creature who’s got no capacity to love and has endured decades, if not centures, of torture. What is most significant about Crowley, therefore, is the same thing that makes Cas stands out: how Crowley is learning about himself, and how to become who he truly is, through his love for Dean. This is something that we discuss every other day, so I won’t get into it (see for instance the ‘drowley’ tag on my blog, or read here, here or here), but it’s clearly become a major part of his character arc. 

(His decision to sacrifice that spear to save Cas, for instance, was a huge step in this direction - selfishness to selflessness - so huge I still can’t believe I watched it with my own two eyes. It will probably be mirrored, quite soon, by Cas making a step of his own - in his case, towards selfishness, ie, the Winchesters’ happiness, and therefore his own, and away from yet another idiotic heavenly battle plan.) 

As for what will come of it - the problem with this kind of Are you truly my enemy? characters - or, well, the trouble with everything - is that there is a limited number pf ways their story can end. And, again, the problem with Crowley and where his story is going is the same problem we have with everything else - Dean, Sam, Destiel and so on: it all depends on which kind of story this is, and what they’re trying to say with it. So, let’s have a look at it.

A) Crowley could remain his slightly evil self and die because of it - this would place Supernatural in a kind of ‘moralistic’ narrative: the good guys triumph, and the bad guys pay the price.

B) Or, he could try to do the right thing and get killed in the process: that’s the definition of tragedy, which somehow works even better when a character was despicable to start with - think Last of the Mohicans, or Severus Snape. In this case, his death would likely be the first (or the last) of many other significant characters.

C) Another possibility is that Crowley could become human, and that would be both interesting and heartbreaking to watch, because we know Crowley is very ambitious, but, as I said, my headcanon is that he became wary and power-hungry because of what was done to him in Hell. After all, Dean did get a kind of special treatment, but what he went through was also the standard procedure to destroy someone’s soul - so drunken tailor Fergus was probably on the rack for decades, until the last shred of humanity left inside him burned and withered, and it’s likely that at some point he had his O'Hara moment and that’s why he always puts himself first: because he’s bloody scared shitless to be vulnerable again. In this sense, a human Crowley would be resentful and terrified - and therefore, a beautiful character to watch.

(Not that there would be anyone left to watch, since if they go there, I think they’ll do it at the last possible moment.)

D) Or, Crowley could remain a demon but shift his priorities so completely as to work with the Winchesters full-time, sort of like Cas did. Now, this would be quite something because Cas and Crowley are often paralleled, but at the same time it would put Crowley in a difficult position: I am sure Sam and Dean would fully accept him as a member of TFW only if Crowley repented and behaved like an unpstanding citizen from then on, and how is all that compatible with being the king of Hell? Plus, what would happen to the other demons? Was Crowley making more demons when he had complete control of Hell? We know he turned Hell more bureaucratic and 'punishment fits the crime’ and whatever, but his demons were still eating human flesh, and I’m not sure they can even survive without? So, well, however noble Crowley’s intentions, that would be an uneasy alliance. If Crowley remains his lovable and snarky demon self, I see more of an Eric Northman ending for him: sure, he gets his throne and all sort of pretty distractions, but he loses his Sookie forever.

E) And finally: Crowley could be killed in a freak ‘accident’, maybe by an ally of the Winchesters who didn’t know he was sort of a friend (Mary is a prime candidate), or by Cas or Sam because of the greater good, or maybe even by Dean himself - but not by choice - and that would be a sort of fridging because it would shift the meaning of his death to the damage it’d do to his killer.

Which hypothesis is more likely? 

Well: first of all, we need to bear in mind a few RL factors. They’ll probably want to keep Mark around because he’s awesome, the fans generally like him so that’s another plus, and I firmly believe they still don’t know how they want Supernatural to end (or even what the next season’s theme is going to be) so a character like Crowley is a godsend, because when weird shit needs to happen or you suddenly need drama or whatever, you can always count on someone like that to make it happen (and that’s another reason why I don’t think Crowley will become human any time soon: it would severely limit the weird shit they can pull off) - which means, it’s likely they’ll keep him around for a while. And also: his death would bring nothing, narratively, to the table. For instance, John’s death and Bobby’s death sort of made sense, because the boys had some growing up to do, and killing someone like Cain or defeating Lucifer was important because it told us our boys are on the Good side even when it’s difficult, but now we know all this. 

To me - if we’re looking at the very end, there are only two ways this makes sense: either Crowley is killed off, or sacrifices himself, in some heartwrenching scenario so that his death will mean Cas or Dean or even Sam lives, or he becomes human - my headcanon is that he’ll still know how to do magic, because I’m a sucker for magician!Crowley - and walks away from the boys entirely. If Supernatural ends in tragedy, then it’s the first option all the way; but if its end is more like, there are no more monsters and you’re now free to open a car repair shop, then it only makes sense that both Cas and Crowley become human. Cas will be the sort of human who still stares up at the sky from time to time and will lie to Dean when Dean asks and say it’s okay (hopefully, Dean won’t believe a word of it and kiss him extra hard that night), and Crowley - Crowley likes to be the centre of attention, so I’m thinking politics. Or maybe he’ll hoodwink his way to the very top of a renowned auction house and meet some wealthy widow at his local golf club, and that will be it - a sort of happy ending, and the occasional drunk call to Dean to reminisce about that happy, happy summer they once had.

[orionsangel86]

Part 2 - Episode Review of 12x15

Part 1 for 12x14 review

Of the past three episodes this one was my favourite, but of course it was, it had Cas in it - however small his part was. I think it was the best structured for the story as well though and for where it left us in terms of speculation and meta. Basically I have a lot to say.

Davy Perez returns for 12x15 and I think he had a lot of fun with this one. Lucille makes an appearance and I am sure that fans of the Walking Dead recoiled in horror watching Dean Winchester carry that horrid bat, I also enjoyed poor suffering Castiel dealing with the crazy “lizard people” man and the Queen making an appearance (much to Misha’s delight I’m sure).

Other smaller moments I liked – the overlapping conversations both Dean and Sam had to Cas and Mary respectively that led to a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment where it was easy to mishear Dean saying “I love you too” to Castiel. In a Perez episode. When his last episode was 12x12. Which was the episode where Cas confessed his undying love? Yeah that ain’t a coincidence guys.

Also Gwen was a totally awesome character of the week who was twice able to fight off a hellhound that she couldn’t see. Please keep giving us these awesome female characters show. We are starved and scramble for this kind of stuff.

Final small point - Winchesters in glasses *drools*.

For the longer meta points however I’ll start with something that grinded my gears on first watch...

Dean Winchester – No longer a Germaphobe?

Yeah this bothered me.. When did DEAN “bathing in purell tonight” Winchester not care about showering after getting covered in monster goop? There is only ONE OTHER time in the whole series that that was the case… Purgatory. Perez sure loves his call backs to previous seasons. I didn’t pick up on it at first and basically huffed a “that’s out of character” at the screen. But I have since thought about this and re-watched the episode a couple of times and well, its clearly a purgatory callback now. I had to kick myself for getting grumpy at first.

So why are we calling back to Purgatory Dean? Where it “felt pure” and his mission was to “find the angel” at all costs? I know Davy Perez is new, but I can’t imagine him getting the characterisation so wrong here, especially after what he has given us so far. Dean is in purgatory mode. He is going from hunt to hunt unknowingly from the BMOL’s leads and thriving in the kill. Could this be because after twice being told “you’re a killer Dean Winchester” he’s decided to accept it? The last time he truly embraced that killer side of him was in purgatory after all (the mark of cain does not count since he fought against it with every fibre of his being). I think the nod to Lucille also kinda comes into this here. Dean with a distinctive weapon, being the thing that the monsters fear most, it’s some very strong imagery. We are being lead to believe that Dean truly IS the “killer”, the “American Ketch” if you like. So of course I fully expect him to defy the BMOL expectations and fight against that eventually. Dean is on a journey of self-acceptance after all. When he realises he is SO MUCH MORE than just a “killer” (no matter how pure he felt in purgatory) his journey will be complete.

Sam and Lying

I have already covered this briefly in part 1, but Dean is our token excellent liar in this show and yet right now he really is on an honesty kick. Sam however, is not. “Oh so we lie?”  “Yeah. A lot” The interesting thing about Sam’s lying is that when he does lie, he generally thinks it is for the best. This is the case with their lies to Gwen and it is also the case with his lies to Dean about the BMOL. He thinks it will give his brother “peace” to just keep it to himself for the time being. Then he has this conversation with Gwen where she says:

“If I’d just told him, why couldn’t I just tell him the truth”

“but I didn’t, I lied, I lied to make things easier”

This show does love its character parallels after all. This one was pretty obvious. Marcus is Dean getting ripped to shreds by the hellhound, Gwen is Sam lying to make things easier.

Now aside from the uncomfortable wincest implications of such a mirror this is a good point. Because as I said about 12x14, Sam chooses the objective path rather than the emotional path pretty much all the time, because it is easier for him. He may be emotionally intelligent in how he deals with difficult situations generally, but when it comes to his brother and potentially difficult differences of opinion, he would rather keep things quiet.

(I will talk more about Gwen and Marcus as mirrors a bit later)

It is pretty clear to the audience that this conversation with Gwen is what makes Sam decide to tell Dean the truth about working with the Brits. It is evident of how far the boys have come that we are no longer seeing such a  toxic relationship of lying and sacrifice etc etc so much anymore (since it was getting super old). Though he still hasn’t told Dean all the details, and whilst Dean warns that “the minute something feels off we bail” I can’t see Sam actually bailing now. For some reason I reckon Sam has picked his side and is determined to set things right. I expect to see his relationship with Mick develop into almost trust by season end and I ALSO expect that another wedge will be formed between Dean and Sam because of this.

Crowley – rubbing off on everyone

I’m sorry I couldn’t help but make a joke about that line. Which I will never get out of my head! Crowley was really the star of this episode (mainly because Cas only had a small part and even my extremely biased self couldn’t give this one to him and that hot angel dude who was manipulating him). Nope Crowley wins it. He was brilliant. Crowley is still desperately trying to pull his “I don’t care about the Winchesters” act. I’m glad to see that EVERYONE sees through this at this stage.

I was talking to @purplesummer91 after watching this episode (we watched it together with pizza) about how I was so infuriated with Bucklemming for writing Crowley so fucking dumb in 12x13. For choosing to put Lucifer into a purpose built vessel and chain him up in a way that was clearly not going to go well for Crowley. We were both super pissed off about it. Even all the painfully cringe worthy exposition couldn’t save Crowleys character in 12x13. Bucklemming probably had some stupid plan for Lucifer to get out and rape a few more people before finally doing something really stupid and out of character for Lucifer and move to LA to solve crimes… pfft…

Davy Perez however, is now the hero who has saved the script, and Crowley, from their slimy incompetent hands. What he managed to do in this episode was actually have Crowley’s plan make sense again. His “ten steps ahead” speech was really clever of Perez. Giving Crowley the upper hand and putting him right back where his character belongs – as the smartest character in the whole fucking show. Now, I get bored of generic suit wearing demons and angels as much as the next person, and the weakest part of this episode was those two idiots trying to barter with Lucifer and set him free (everyone in hell should really know by now that you stick with Crowley if you actually wanna live at least a little while longer) and whilst I am really bored of Lucifer (and don’t like the season 12 rendition of him at all) I enjoyed watching Crowley beat him down again. It felt like some spiteful revenge on Bucklemming and their idiocy – your next job Davy is to bring Charlie back and have her joke about how terribly stupid her supposed “death” was and how only an idiot would really believe her quick thinking glamour magic from Oz to put the Stines off her trail (if you haven’t noticed already, I’m still super bitter).

Let’s talk about Drowley for a moment though. Because as @purplesummer91 and I discussed after watching, we still can’t believe this is still a thing. I mean, okay, sure. They had their fun together in early season 10, but the fact that the writers continuously bring this back and shove it rather graphically in all of our faces is something else. Never let a hater tell you that Bi!Dean is all in your head, or that you only want it for your ship… because NO ONE ASKED FOR FUCKING DROWLEY. The show chose that. They chose to shove that down our throats and practically make it canon. The fact that it is so fucking obvious in canon is still unbelievable every time we get another Drowley joke.

“Maybe you rubbed off on me, maybe I rubbed off all over you”. Thanks Crowley for that mental image. Where is Sam so I can borrow his brain bleach?

If you are doubting the impact of this line from a shipping perspective, ask yourselves this:  would that line have had as much impact if he had said it to Sam?

Yes, Crowley talks in innuendos, and loves to be overly sexual with the boys, BUT since season 10 and Crowley and Dean’s “summer of love” his sexual jokes have been almost exclusively to Dean. Because Crowley, being the intelligent guy he is, knows that they would have far greater effect on Dean – Since they are fucking true and there is nothing Dean can do about that. Crowley has been Dean’s subtextual ex-boyfriend for two and a half seasons now. This is not something we as fangirls wanted or needed, but the show went there. I’m never getting over that. Ever.

The other important Crowley point to talk about is how he was actually validated this episode for the good he has done. Dean’s sincere thank you for saving Cas, even though Crowley tries to brush it off as wanting to spare himself from the man pain, it is obvious at this stage that he cares for Cas (we talked about this in 12x12 anyway so I won’t go into detail). Sam’s thank you was even more heartfelt, and genuine and sincere, and Crowley didn’t even come back with a snarky remark that time, nor did he brush off Gwen’s hug which was extremely heartwarming. Oh Crowley, you big softy. We all know you still just want to be loved.

Castiel – Angel of Earth – Hunter of Lizard People?

Why is it every time Cas graces our screens I grin like an idiot in love. I was a bit sad that Cas’s role in this episode was so small baring in mind we don’t get him for another three episodes (which I’m slightly pissy about FYI) and we didn’t get him for the last two either. But, Perez seems to be becoming the next Robbie Thompson for giving us a lot of info and meta content in a short space of time.

Cas was so freaking adorable in this episode. Who would have thought that it was canon that Cas is a Beyoncé fan to start with – enough that he knows the name of her sister and used it as his alias. Honestly I can see Dean rolling his eyes but still gazing at him with heaps of affection. The upside down FBI badge really has become a running joke. Cas just isn’t quite there yet in his hunter skills. (all this means for me is that I hope by the end of the series we will get an episode where Cas swoops in like a skilled hunter, flashes his badge in sync with Dean and is perfectly able to interview a witness without any issues whatsoever – AND give them a classic flirtatious wink at the end.)

His utter exasperation over the conspiracy theorists lizard people story was hilarious. As was Cas banging his head against the door. Cas was so done with this guy. But at least he got his Kelly Kline lead.

I think it is important to point out that at this stage, Cas is so disillusioned with his siblings that the moment he sees one he pulls out his blade to defend himself. It breaks my heart but the Dean Winchester in me wants to scream out “Damn right you defend yourself sweetheart. You stab that dick with wings!” As hot as Kelvin is I just don’t trust him one bit. Nor do I buy what he is selling here. What I LOVE is that we are getting MORE unanswered questions to Cas too add to the heap we already have.

“You ever miss it? Upstairs?”

“I love Earth, smells like hay, but it’s not home is it?”

“imagine it Castiel, for you to come and go as you please, be part of your family, your true family again”

Castiel doesn’t answer ANY of these questions, he diverts them. And this is so so interesting to see happening in a script written by the same writer who gave us “Knowing you has been the best part of my life, you’re my family, I love you, I love all of you”. We KNOW as an audience that Cas has chosen who his family, his home is, and it’s not heaven. But the fact that the angels don’t know this, that they STILL think they can manipulate Castiel with talk of acceptance and power… I can’t wait for him to turn to them and basically say “fuck you guys. I am going back to my boyfriend because HE LOVES ME.” And honestly this is where all the coming out/non accepting family of a queer kid metaphors come into play and I LOVE THEM.

In fact the ONLY part of Kelvins whole little speech there that perked Castiel’s interest was mentioning Joshua and this:

”the gardeners got a plan, all we ask is that you hear him out for the greater good.” And at that moment we know Cas is done for, because his second biggest weakness (next to a certain Mr Humanity) is doing the right thing – doing it for the “greater good”.

Cas isn’t going back to heaven for acceptance, to get his ‘home’ back, or for power. He is going back because Joshua has a plan that may help ‘the greater good’ and that is a pitch that Cas can’t say no to. His face when Kelvin asked him if he was ready at the end, again, no answer. He didn’t look ready at all, and I HATE seeing Cas in pain. Especially since apparently we ain’t gonna see him again until 12x19 which I am super pissed off about. Urgh.

But I just need to mention that final moment, Dean Winchester looks down at his phone after Cas hung up and says “he sound weird to you?” we don’t get an answer from Sam but I would bet money on that answer being “no?” because only Dean has that connection to Cas that means he can tell if something is wrong over a fucking PHONE CALL. They are such husbands OMG. Dean is gonna be so upset when he finds out Cas has gone back to heaven. This is gonna hurt to watch.

Gwen and Marcus – Parallels?

The last point I wanted to talk about was how Gwen and Marcus appear to be a mirror for Sam and Dean’s relationship in the show. This was obvious when Gwen spoke to Sam in the car and Sam clearly took her experience and advice and was inspired to tell Dean the truth. The show does this A LOT with various MOTW characters being some way mirrored with the boys in order for the boys to learn a lesson of some kind. There are often multiple parallels in place however and the other parallel here was Dean and Cas. Yes, there are both Wincest and Destiel readings in this doomed couple. Am I happy about this? Not really, but the interpretation is there.

Now, obviously the wincest parallel is easily disregarded as a legitimate romantic thing because the show is NEVER gonna go there. Don’t stress people. That’s not what I’m saying. If it was I’d quit watching in a heartbeat. *shudder*. The meaning of the mirror here is that our Sam character Gwen, kept lying to the Dean character Marcus, which ultimately lead to Marcus’s death. Gwen blames herself for his death because she lied about her feelings for him.

There are multiple layers to this reading. Marcus was clearly in love with Gwen, he wanted her by his side and dreaded her leaving him to go to college. (this all plays nicely with the Winchesters history and Sam leaving Dean to go to Stanford). The main point of takeaway here is that Gwen didn’t feel the same way about Marcus that he did about her. Gwen wanted something more in her life, she wanted to pursue a future that she didn’t feel she could have with Marcus by her side. Is this foreshadowing of the Winchesters going their separate ways? Dean always has been the clingier of the two, and I have been saying throughout this entire post that Dean is emotional whereas Sam is logical. The situation matches Gwen and Marcus. Marcus was holding on to a dream ruled by his feelings, whereas Gwen was far more logical and rational about their situation. Is Sam going to break away from Dean? If he doesn’t break away? Could this lead to Dean’s doom?

Ultimately I don’t think this season is gonna end well for Dean – call it a hunch, but with the way Ketch was eyeing him up and the differences between them I dunno, I can just see a clash in the future that I think will involve Cas somehow… but that is pure speculation. I also think that this could foreshadow Sam choosing to go to the UK to learn with the BMOL…

The other parallel is similar. In this episode Cas struggles with choosing to leaving earth and going back to heaven. Leaving Dean. The difference is that unlike Gwen, we KNOW that Cas loves Dean. His feelings have been laid out in the text. But poor self-hating Dean doesn’t know that. Will Cas keep the fact that he went back to heaven/is working with heaven again from Dean? How will that affect their relationship? We know that Dean loves Cas, but we have yet to have the moment where he admits to Cas that he loves him too (which I will put money on happening by season end). Dean could EASILY view Cas’s heartfelt confession as platonic familial love and therefore feel rejected, especially if Cas now leaves him for heaven once again. Dean’s main issue throughout pretty much ALL OF THE SERIES prior to Cas’s break up with heaven in season 11 was that Cas kept leaving him. Ironic since they are now paralleled by a couple where the Cas mirror NOT leaving him and telling him the truth lead the Dean mirror to his death.

Basically this is how I see it. If Cas and Sam chose to stay by Dean’s side and keep secrets from him, then Dean is likely to die. If they are honest with him, and leave him, then he will live. Could this be foreshadowing an ultimatum somewhere along the way? If you leave Earth, return to heaven and stay away from OUR territory, then we won’t kill the man you love.

OR, If you go to London with us, work with us there, then we won’t kill your brother?

This is pure speculation of course, but I liked the parallel, and how it foreshadows Dean ending this season very much alone and feeling like he was rejected by choice.

How very heartbreaking indeed.

[lovethediseasedkillerpuppy]

For the ask you stuff hour- which characters do you enjoy watching interact with Dean the most (for me it's Castiel at the top, but I also really enjoy him with- Benny, Charlie, Kevin, Claire, Jody, Donna, and sometimes Sam). Also, who are your top 10 favorite characters from the show and what are your favorite things about them? Also, even though I'm a Dean fan, I also like Castiel and I was wondering what your take of Cas was (since you've said you do like him).

Dean, aside from this season, actually has the best one-off interactions with characters. I won’t name them bc this’ll get novel length lol, but I had to point out how I enjoy them. It goes to show what a caring person he is that he forms bonds with these strangers so quickly & shows them empathy.

Charlie & Dean is adorable. I loved how sweet & protective he was with her. I’m also serious trash for sister Winchester. Dean’s an amazing big brother to Sam & we see his compassion with girls so I’ve always had a million head canons about how great he’d be with a little sister & I think Charlie was great for that.

Cas & Dean I loved bc when S4 rolled around & they started interacting Cas was just Dean’s. (S4 parallel being Ruby was just Sam’s) Up till S4 they’d done everything together & met the same people & even tho like I said above I like the one-off interactions Dean has & I even think he tends to form closer bonds w reoccurring characters than Sam does, Sam was still involved. Cas didn’t even like Sam at first. All the stuff he decided/changed was based on Dean’s impact on him. Dean changed an who knows how old programmed angel of Heaven just by being himself & passionate about what he believed. It was really interesting to watch them interact in S4/5 when they were figuring each other out. As for later seasons, I like watching them together bc Cas is the one Dean can be himself around. Sam, as strong as their bond may be, Dean still holds that parental responsibility card when it comes to Sam. He often holds things back bc he doesn’t feel like burdening Sam with that. With Cas he’s only a friend & as protective as Dean is for friends/loved ones, that parent/child dynamic isn’t there so Dean has more freedom. We’ve seen quite a few times where Dean will admit to Cas he’s worried abt smth more than he’s letting on to Sam. So I like that Cas is someone that Dean can unload to like that bc that boy always has the weight of the world on his shoulders & eventually it gets too damn heavy no matter who you are.

Dean & Crowley is def a great one. The last few seasons Crowley has done a lot of what I just talked abt with Cas & Dean. Again we have this old creature who isn’t supposed to have “human” emotions & Dean comes along & breaks down that barrier. And the banter between these two is always precious haha.

Dean & Benny: I liked Benny on his own too but my favorite thing abt him was his loyalty to Dean. Benny may have teamed up w Dean to get out of Purgatory but also he was lonely & all he wanted was a friend. When Dean became his friend he was loyal to the bitter end. Benny is the only character who’s ever done that for Dean. He never lied or kept secrets & he always told it like it is.(Granted he was only around for 1 season & I’m sure the writers would have made him lie to Dean eventually if he stuck around, drama & man-pain needed)

And as much as I don’t care for Sam bc of *insert all my blog rants abt him here* I do enjoy a lot of the brother moments. Dean’s love for Sam is a prime ex of what a loving person he is. He does everything for his little brother. He’s always there for him no matter what.

Hmm top 10 characters…

1. Dean (yes, the cheap obvious answer but 10 is a lot & ya didn’t say “besides Dean” so I’ma cheat a bit lol) *see entire blog for what I like about him haha.

Then 2-10 in no real order...

Cas: Ik I’m in the minority but I preferred BAMF S4/5 zero human skills Cas over him being human’d up in later years. Ik logically the character had to move on & the whole point was for him to move away from Heaven so it’s only natural he’d learn their ways but I still miss it. I thought the “take everything literally” angel was pretty damn hilarious. And despite it usually ending badly, I admire the fact that no matter how much he thinks he’s messed up Cas still tries to do what he feels is right. Whether it is or isn’t really doesn’t matter for this point, it’s just a decent quality to try to do right in this day & age. I still like Cas generally but like everything else lately, the writers are messing him up.

Crowley: He’s sassy & always in a nice suit. He always makes me laugh. I really enjoyed him when he was the bad guy & I still like him in this whole frenemy role. I have the same writer complaint for him but I can’t blame that on the character.

Chuck: I adored him in 4x18 & every ep after. I thought the nervous self-deprecating little writer was adorable haha. I was pissed he actually was God bc God sux on this show but while I didn’t agree with some of his crap in S11 (mostly what he laid on Dean) I still liked the character. God was a dick but he pretty much owned it lol. I quite enjoyed 11x20. 

Benny: He was loyal, snarky, bad ass, had a lovely accent & gave me feels. I felt bad for him. He didn’t feel like he belonged anywhere & that hurts. Dean was his only friend in the world & he couldn’t even see him. Benny deserved better.

Charlie: She was a spirited, positive, spit fire. They did the whole “dark Charlie” thing & had her sad past revealed but in general she was a peppy ray of sunshine & I liked that contrast on the show.

Meg 2.0: Bad ass & sarcastic. Nuff said.

Lucifer: I kinda cringe now saying it bc the show beat that dead horse into an annoying head ache, but S4/5 I loved the Apocalypse storyline & I liked Lucifer. He was a snarky mean asshole.

The trickster/Gabriel: Mostly bc his eps were always funny as shit. He’d come in & fuck everything up while eating candy haha. I thought he was a lot of fun.

Jo: I could relate to Jo. Big ‘ol crush on Dean, doesn’t feel like she fits in with all the ‘normal’ people at school, daddy’s girl. I’da loved more of Jo.

My take on Cas...what I said already & I’d like to add that even tho I’m not thrilled with the writers under utilizing him & making him imo ooc at times recently, I’ll always like Cas. I can’t see disliking him. Be it more nostalgia of what once was or the fact that Dean loves him so much...I won’t bail on Cas. I’m so bored w S12 that it even takes an effort to stay invested w Dean at times so I won’t write off anyone bc of S12′s crap. I’ll sit here & cross my fingers for a better last part of the season & improved S13. Hopefully, things get back on track

.

[nerdylittleshit]

Thoughts about Spn 12x10

SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!

I have a lot of feelings about this. Also Steve Yockey might be my new favourite writer next to the Dabb and Bobo Berens. So, let’s take a closer look at this.

Lily Sunders

First of all, I really like the way this character was portrayed. And that they didn’t made her into a monster, but instead told us her story, her real story, and through that made us understand why she wanted revenge. And it’s a very legitime reason. Which creates a moral dilemma for Sam and Dean here. Because they get it, and if it wasn’t for Cas they might have didn’t intervene and let Lily get her revenge. So their approach is yet again a non-violent one. They try to talk to her, reason with her. After deciding not to kill the soldiers in 12x09 because they were just doing their jobs and Dean solving the Amara-Chuck-conflict in 11x23 through talking, this becomes a theme.

But Cas is their family. And when they met the other angels from Cas’s old flight and he tells them the reason why Lily wants to kill those angels they are painfully reminded of the way Cas used to be. Still, I think the way Sam and Dean cared so obvious about Cas and tried to help him and reason with Lily might be one of the reasons Lily didn’t kill him. She knows through Akobel that not all angels are bad. And speaking of Akobel: he was such a strong Cas parallel. An angel whose mission it was to observe humanity but instead he fell in love with a human. So Lily recognizes the same kind of devoution Akobel had for her with Sam and Dean and knows that Cas must have changed.

I also think that Lily worked as a parallel for Sam. Both believed in angels all their life, but when they finally got in contact with them they soon realized how evil and conflicted they can be. Both are associated with magic - Lily used it to give her strength and youth, Sam is usually the one who comes up with spells. And just when we think, hey Enochian magic sounds cool, we lern it comes with a prize: losing your soul piece after piece. And well, Sam knows a thing or two about losing your soul (and of course Lily lost an eye in the process - they are the windows to the soul after all).

The angels

I’m always so excited when we meet new angels, because we kind of never know what we get (good guy or bad guy?) and we still learn something new from them.

So, let’s talk about Benjamin here. We first see him playing “Rampage”. According to Wikipedia its a play about monsters (who were formerly human) trying to survive against military forces. Sounds familar? Angels are described as monsters in this episode, taking a formerly human vessel, trying to survive on earth. And speaking of vessels: I think this the first time we heard of an angel thinking of its vessel as a friend. (And the way Cas said friend it kind sounded like more than just a friend???) Normaly angels don’t seem to care a lot about their vessel. In seson 9 we saw countless angels taking whatever vessel they could get, even it kille some of the humans. The only other angel who cared about her vessel was Hannah. (And Cas in a way, but since Jimmy was already dead, he tried to redeem himself towards Claire.) Cas also reminds Dean that Benjamin was no woman, but his vessel was, and I think it is fair to assume angels are indeed genderless. But this tells us a lot about Dean, who humanized Cas since the beginning, and always applied a gender to him. (*shippergoogleson* Which makes his attraction to Cas so complicated because he sees Cas as a man, when in fact he isn’t, and not a woman as well, or even human *shippergooglesoff*) Also kudos to the show for showing us Cas in a female vessel.

Back to the game Benjamin was playing: I wondered a bit about this, why an angel would do this/find enterainment in it. But it kinda reminded me of Cas bingewatching Netflix. Maybe it was a way for Benjamin to distract him as well, a mundane game to fill the void an angel without a mission felt.

The other angels (well, mostly Ishim) were there to remind us what Cas has done, his standing among other angels, and to question his loyality and identity. I think Cas wants to seperate his (former) angel family and his new family that he found in the Winchesters. Previously whenever he had to deal with angel business he did it on his own. This time though Sam and Dean come along. And despite what Dean said not because they are worried Cas does something stupid again, but because they are worried. They’ve met enough angels and know how they think of Cas to be suspicious. And after all, whatever Cas’s problem is is theirs as well; they are family.

This of course creates the great conflict of this episode: the question where Cas belongs. Both sides question Cas why he cares about the other. To Ishim humans are beneath him, they are apes. He thinks Cas doesn’t owe Sam and Dean an explanation of what happened or that they should get involved at all. And that whatever bond formed between them weakended Cas (the way Lily weakened him).

Sam and Dean though don’t get why Cas allows Ishim to talk to him like that, calling him weak and fallen. Cas doesn’t care as long as he is able to might save the remaining angels (because of course in true Cas fashion he blames himself for it and in the end is the only one who shows remorse and apologizes). Though I wished Dean would have told Ishim that Cas has indeed a family and home with them, thank you very much.

And then we had some great plot-twist with the nephilim that wasn’t a nephilim after all. It was a good way to bring thi topic back, though it never really left. We start the episode with Dean trying to find new leads on Kelly (and could it be that the powers of her unborn child help her to disappear?), and end with the brothers talking about it. But what the episode did was to bring back the moral dilemma of it. We hear Lily’s story and even in the first fake version we feel pity for her and that her child didn’t deserve to die. And is Kelly’s situation any different? Even though an archangels child is more powerfull, at the end it is like Sam said: a mother and her child. So we either go the route of non violent conflict solving again (though the British MoL will disagree) or the nephilim does something bad enough the Winchesters have no other choice than to kill it. They also talk about the mix of grace and a human soul, and that that is what makes the nephilim so powerfull. We know that both things alone - angelic grace, a human soul - contain a lot of power. Combining both is like a nuclear bomb. But we know that angels leave some of their grace in a human vessel when they leave it (Gadreel did so with Sam) and some fans headcanon Cas left some of his grace in Dean when he rescued him from hell. So does the grace mix with the soul in those instances as well?

But back to Ishim and his obsession for Lily. Though from his side it was love. And that is yet another ongoing theme: false love. We had it in season 11 with Amara confusing her feelings for Chuck with love for Dean, and this season with Rosaleen’s and Lucifer’s false love in 12x07, or the false love of Magda’s mother in 12x04 (and at some point I might write a proper meta about this, because it leads us to the question how real love looks like). If Akobel worked as a mirror for Cas then Ishim does as well, but as a dark mirror. Like I said Ishim thinks his love/obsession for Lily made him weak and thinks the same happens to Cas, when instead Cas tells him his relationship to Sam and Dean made him stronger. Ishim thought of Lily as his human weakness and killed the one person she loved most in the world: her daughter. And he considers Dean to be Cas human weakness and in order to punish Cas he wants to kill Dean. If we see Ishim’s love for Lily as romantic (and I think it was intended as this) it means Ishim thought of Cas’s love for Dean as romantic as well. Also this line:

You know why we're meant to stay away from them humans? Hmm? It's not because we're a danger to them. They're a danger to us. 

Because humans corrupt. They make angels start to question their orders, their existence. They make angels feel. Not just love, but also pain. Lily broke Ishim’s heart, so he broke hers.

Also, Ishim calls Cas a spanner in the works. Which of course are the exact words Naomi used, so I don’t think this was a coincidence. Did he work for/with Naomi? Lily said he is a big name up in heaven after all.

And at last that abandoned church was one of the most beautiful sets that had lately. And I think it is intersting that Ishim used a church as a safe house. I feel like there might be some connection between churches and angels: the first episode that mentioned angels (2x13) takes place in a church. They first encounter Anna in a church (I think her human father was a deacon). And human!Cas seeked chelter in a church in 9x03. Someone write some meta about this.

The Winchesters

So Mary is hunting again. This gives the show a good excuse why is not around. And the reason she didn’t ask her sons for help is because she might already work for the British MoL and knows they won’t be happy about it.

Also Dean and Cas give each other the silent treatment and Sam is awkwardly stuck in the middle of it. And let me tell you, I loved every single minute of it (especially the moment Dean stormed into the diner like a jealous boyfriend) . This was such a classic example of Anger Born of Worry. For Dean Cas action at the end of 12x09 and his speech are a painfull reminder just how much Cas loves him. And Dean can’t deal with it. Because who is he to deserves such love? To let Cas put himself in such danger just to save him? And what Cas said at the end, that he doesn’t regret his decision even if it costs him his life, made me worried. Because right now Cas really doesn’t care if he lives or not. He cares about the Winchesters and making up for his mistakes. But not about himself.

And Cas reminded us yet again how special he is. He remembered Lily, unlike Benjamin. He killed Ishim after he realized Lily told the truth. And he was the only one to apologize to her, to show remorse, and to leave his fate to her, given her the decision to kill him or not.

And that is the reason she didn’t. Because she realized how much he changed. How special he is among angels. If only he could see himself like this as well.

[tinkdw]

The future - and it is showing us this loud and clear

This episode was amazing. After flailing and basically shouting all day I am so happy and so excited that I joined tumblr - the quality of posts today has been excellent, both humorous and inciteful and I LOVE YOU ALL :)

I hope its ok I’m going to tag a few great posts in this to reference as I don't want to go over stuff other people have already meta-d about so excellently!

This episode, titled the future, seems to me to be Dabb basically telling us what he wants for the next part of the show, the “better way” that he wants to take it.

So here are my main bullet points that I will expand on a little below and link those excellent posts to where relevant:

A. Sam 

Sam is clearly portrayed again, recurrently as the researcher, the “brains” of the operation (before you say ‘Dean is so clever though!’ I’m just pointing out Sam’s love of the scholarly side of things and how this is where he fits). Sam’s endgame must now be to head up the MoL/hunter network in this respect.

B. Sam and Dean 

They work so well as a team here, Sam putting a tracker in Cas’s phone while he’s distracted by Dean, researching v whatever Dean was doing (maybe making a pining mixtape along the lines of “all by myself” and “I miss you” “please come home”, BUT they are shown as different people, with different interests, skills and relationships - with Cas for example, & not codependent. Again hammering this home in this episode. THANK YOU DABB, GLYNN & BERENS.

C. THE RECURRING AND CONSISTENT NARRATIVE OF DESTIEL.

This whole episode is one big love fest. We went from one ‘wow I can't believe they just did that!’ to the next to the next with hardly enough time for us to catch out breath! WHAT WAS THIS EPISODE?!

OK, so we have :

1. My Romeo & Juliet / Gaze up Trope Balcony Meta.

2. The Mixtape Meta, another EXPLICIT romantic trope by @drsilverfish.

3. The Dean “keep it” parallels, the first one that came to my mind was Arwen (another human+ / eternal being who decided to relinquish immortality couple):

Aragon: this belongs to you. Arwen: keep it, it was a gift… it is mine to give to whom I will, like my heart.

But also all the other ‘gift’ tropes, the standard romantic trope that when a couple breaks up you return the gifts.... I think Cas wasn’t sure he was going to be forgiven, after Dean’s outburst in the war room, so he goes to return the cassette, but Dean does forgive him nearly instantaneously, which actually makes it even worse that he has to steal the colt straight after...

5. The difference between Sastiel and Destiel again emphasised, more and more this season. I don't think I even have to detail this, just, basically the whole episode shows this.

6. This magnificent gifset by @magnificent-winged-beast which shows the difference between Dean’s angst at actually watching the colt get destroyed and the potential killing of Cas...

Slight aside - Performing!Dean. 

This magnificent gifset that shows Dean’s facade coming down, he doesn't even attempt to make it sound less ‘gay’ when he tells Sam that Cas came to his room, played him and took the colt from his secret hiding place under his pillow, he even looks down before he says it like he KNOWS how it is going to sound but says it anyway. 

source: @yourfavoritedirector.

And Sam doesn't even flinch. YES THANK YOU DABB, GLYNN & BERENS!

4. SO...WHY is Dean still doing everything he did for Cas during this episode and still defending him to Sam even though he appeared pissed and Cas repeatedly betrayed him?

Well, in 12x12 Cas said “I love you”, clearly understood by Dean (and Sam to be directed at Dean). There was no real reciprocation though from Dean, other than Dean family-zoning him and Sam’s fantastic “we are doing this for you, Cas”. 

So regarding Dean, Cas is hurt and believes it isn't reciprocated. Now Dean is pissed and still using the WE card at every turn, so what is a celestial being to do? Cas assumes this is the end, that there is no hope, he returns the mixed tape. BUT Dean says no keep it, this is NOT the end. 

Cas understands that this is therefore not the end, but it is complicated. He explains that he wanted to “come back with a win for you.... for myself”. He wants this for Dean and for himself, this is very important, everything he is doing now and in the future is NOT all about Dean, there is his own agency and morality involved here too.

For Cas, when it comes to it, he wants this reciprocation of his love of course, but right now he has bigger fish to fry and really he wants to protect Sam and Dean and save the world. 

Now, going back to the “what the hell is wrong with you man?” followed by an awkward silence.... and where Cas then goes to return the gift. Yes, Cas feels that he has said his piece in 12x12 and is rebuffed, but meanwhile Dean is struggling with what Cas has said and everything else that is going on. He has a lot on his plate, not only Cas but his own personal history, his deep seated issues that he is clearly working on this season (see all the performing!Dean facade crumbling meta going around), his issues around his mother, the BMoL, Lucifer, the nephilim.... I mean that is a lot for an emotionally healthy person let a lone DEAN WINCHESTER.

Dean is trying to say / show how he feels he’s just rubbish at it, but he's getting better!

“We?” “Yes dumbass, WE.” This is his forgiveness. And it is betrayed just moments later. But does this stop him trusting Cas again? NO.

THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. For their dynamic, to show that they still do ultimately trust each other.

EVEN AFTER EVERYTHING DEAN STILL DEFENDS CAS TO SAM!

Oh, and I just need to add how desperate I am for Sam to turn to Dean soon and just say “No, Dean, this is between you and Cas, stop bringing me into this”. PLEASE I SWEAR I WILL BE GOOD! I mean, how repeated, consistent and out of place it was (I mean, not only to shippers, I think anyone would think it was out of place the way it was portrayed in their personal conversation in Dean’s room) - this has got to be addressed, no?!

 5. A better way

So. What does this mean moving forwards?

Well, firstly, I have moved from being 85% sure Destiel would be endgame to about 95% sure. Lets be real. This episode cements this. Whether you like it or not, it’s happening.

So, what is the better way?

Overall, it seems that Dabb wants to move things forwards. And his key points all season are Free Will, breaking from past repressions and negative influences, moving forwards with what the characters choose and want for their endgame and for sure now endgame Destiel.

I have in the past speculated about quite a lot of stuff, some right and some... still to be seen and some not right, but the overall arc speculation that I saw foreshadowed since early season 12 is RIGHT ON TRACK.

Now, the question is will Dabb go backwards and go to the old, standard SPN ways where probably Dean and Cas will be separated, Cas will be wrong again in his trust in the nephilim - it WILL be evil (rehash of s6 and s8) and he will need to be ‘broken’ from the mind control by Dean in a stronger crypt scene etc etc etc.

Or will he move forwards, onto a “better way”? Will we get another s11 ‘happy ending’? Where it appears all good but there is still stuff going on behind the scenes for s13... Or maybe a not so happy ending but that ultimately will be resolved happily? 

Maybe the baby has it’s grace removed (so glad this is an option it was driving me insane that they hadn't mentioned it by now!) OR it’s not evil at all! it’s the ANTI-anti-Christ, it chose Cas because he is Lucifer’s mirror in that he LOVES Humanity. I mean, the whole point of the show is agency, free will and not being forced to follow the result of your parentage / past ....especially this season with Sam and Dean’s arcs....

Maybe human!Cas, potential hunter Daddies, Cas staying at home calling Dean while he's out on MOTW hunts with Sam being all “Dean there’s poop everywhere, I’m sorry it got on your favourite shirt, but please please come home this is so hard!” “OK babe, don't worry, we’ll be back tomorrow, the case was a milk run!” when actually Dean nearly died and Sammy saved the day and.... etc because really? what are we supposed to think from that motel scene? With Cas smiling all cute and using the world “righteous” when talking about the kids future guardian?! (and Kelly survives if we are going to be extra nice).

Maybe Lucifer will die / be dealt with and it is the MoL that are the big bad next year.....aiding the overall future arc of TFW as leaders of the MoL/Hunter collaboration (Chuck I hope so).

Or will it be a mix of the two?

Well my money is on that it will be a mix....  

DABB IS SHOWING US THE FUTURE Y’ALL. AND THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT.