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sunshineandteddybears · 11 days ago

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Holly Jolly Chaos

This is a gift for @edupunkn00b for the @sanderssidesgiftxchange

I hope you like it!

“Now we just need to add two cups of sugar-”

“What if we pour the whole sack in?” Patton paused from reading out the instructions and turned to look at Remus. The dark aspect wiggled his brows mischievously as he held up the bag in question. He even gave it a little shimmy shake. The representative of morality hummed thoughtfully.

“The recipe calls for two cups…. But I’m sure a little extra sugar won’t hurt right?”

“Incorrect!” Logan chimed in sternly. “That is by no means a ‘little extra’. That, Patton, is a four pound bag. That is roughly nine cups of sugar. That would be more than quadrupling the recommended amount.” The logical aspect adjusted his glasses as he regarded the other two. “Not to mention, that much sugar is extremely unhealthy.” Remus blew a raspberry. “Don’t be such a party pooper, Nerdy Wolverine.” A gleeful look overtook Dark Creativity right after. “Oooo, on second thought, you should totally p-”

“Look, Remus, a cactus covered in hot sauce just ran by.”

“WHERE!?” Sugar was dropped onto the counter as the giddy duke dashed out of the kitchen. Janus smirked in triumph from where he had risen up through the floor.

“That,” he drawled, examining his gloved fingers, “is how you handle Remus in the kitchen.” Logan scoffed and rolled his eyes. “I’m sorry, did you have a better way of making sure he didn’t make us all sick?”

“I was handling it.” Janus chuckled at Logan’s response, his hands softly clapping together.

“And I thought lying was my job.” The two faced aspect chuckled some more. Logan huffed in frustration, but turned to Patton instead. He held his hand out and Patton handed the recipe over with a pout.

“Last I checked, you hadn’t had your kitchen privileges returned yet.” The logical being pointed out calmly. “I’ll take over sugar cookie baking. Janus, may I count on you to keep an eye on these two?”

A reptilian eye watched Patton carefully while a thoughtful hum left Deceit. “Hmmm, I ssssuposssse.” Janus walked over to the fatherly entity and looped their arms together. “Let’s grab that silly duke and go decorate the tree.” Patton perked up. “Okay!”

------

“Remus! Sit! Stay!” Classic christmas music played from the radio while the trio made the tree sparkle and shine. Remus had tangled himself in a spare string of lights, and Janus fought to free him. A task made more difficult because the duke did not wish for freedom. He hopped around, giggling maniacally, while the deceitful aspect chased after him. Patton hummed happily to himself as he wrapped a tinsel garland around the branches.

“Okay, it’s ready for ornaments!” he declared with pep, moving towards the box that had his name labeled. All the sides had their own little box of special ornaments, so that the tree displayed a bit of each of them in harmony. Remus excitedly willed away the strands off his body and skipped over to his own box that had his messy handwriting spelling out his name with a backwards R. “Finally,” Janus grumbled, breathing heavily from all the running. The scaly aspect made his way to his own box, which was labeled ‘nothing to see here’, and pulled out silver and gold baubles and crystal icicles. Patton pulled out light blue snowflakes and various santa ornaments. Remus cackled as he pulled out- “Really now Remus?” Janus asked, raising an elegant eyebrow. “Ninja ssstars?”

“You said I couldn’t have the dookies on the tree this year!” The entity of intrusive thoughts moved onto the step ladder, standing upon it precariously with little regard for safety. He hung his deadly weapons with glee. “Pattycakes, grab my balls!” A snicker followed the demanded request, though Patton was none the wiser as he approached the box.

“Sure thing buddy!” The snickering increased as Patton grabbed the bright green baubles and brought them to Remus. The fatherly aspect chuckled along, his lips spreading into a wide smile as he passed the orbs one by one.

“What’s so funny?” Logan asked as he phased into the living room.

“I have no idea.” Patton admitted, his smile still wide. He had simply been bitten by infectious laughter. The logical being looked to the snake-like chaperone, who simply shook his head in exasperation and divulged nothing.

“Explaining will only encourage more.”

Suddenly, a crash resounded as Remus toppled over on the step ladder, the tree falling with him. Patton yelped in concern, rushing to help him up. Only for himself to trip over the fallen step ladder and land on top of the Duke with an oomph. Remus groaned ambiguously before managing to push himself and Patton back up. Some of his shurikens impeded themselves into his chest.

Logan sighed. “Let’s get you taken care of.”

“Psh.” Remus waved him off. “Tis only a flesh wound.”

“If you’re going to quote Monty Python, at least commit to the bit,” Janus interjected, “Cut off your arm.”

“Oooooo great idea-” “Do NOT cut off your arm!” Logan pinched the bridge of his nose and silently counted to ten before he took Remus’ wrist and pulled him toward the hall. “I’ll take care of this while you two clean up and fix the tree.”

When the ordeal of removing Hollywood Japanese weaponry from the Duke’s body was finally over with, taking up far too much time than necessary, the tree was back where it was meant to be and fully decorated with all the Sides’ ornaments. All done with the precision and harmony that the embodiment of logic had come to expect from Janus when it came to tree decorating. “Excellent work.” His watch beeped with the timer for the dough in the refrigerator. “And just in time. Let's cut out the cookies.” Janus raised a brow. “I thought you ssssaid you were taking over sugar cookie baking duty?” “That is correct.” Logan adjusted his glasses. “I’ve prepared the dough and I will be the one to place the cookies into the oven. However, I am under the impression that cutting out the shapes is for all to be involved in just as decorating is.”

“Yes yes,” Janus followed after the trail of the other two sides, who had dashed eagerly back to the kitchen the moment Logan had said it was time to cut out the dough.

-----

Patton glanced over thoughtfully at Remus’ decorated cookie pile, his brows furrowed. “Your holly is missing a couple leaves there,” he pointed out. The dark side giggled at him and shimmied as he shook his head.

“It’s not holly.” Patton’s confusion grew, looking over the shapes. There were two rounded spots frosted red and one long piece frosted green.

“Then what-’ “Don’t worry about it, it’s nothing,” Janus interjected. He placed a frosted snowman onto his own pile. “Remus is just being silly.” He reached for a candy cane shaped one and began to spread red stripes onto it.

“Oh, okay.” Patton went back to his own decorating, spreading abundant multicolored sprinkles onto a tree shaped cookie. Then he added little candy pearls to look like beaded strings. With that done, he grabbed a Santa cookie. He hummed a little christmas tune as he spread red frosting on the hat and clothes.

“Pattycakes, toss me a gumdrop!” The embodiment of Thomas’ feelings looked back to Remus, who drummed his fingers excitedly on the table. He opened his mouth wide like a baby bird. Patton chuckled and grabbed one of the green ones from the bowl.

“The gumdrops are for decorating,” Logan interjected, “and I don’t believe he’ll be able to-”

“Here it comes!” Patton threw the little candy like one would toss crumbled paper into a basket. It sailed across the table in a little arch and Remus managed to open his mouth a little wider as he angled his head. The gumdrop landed in his mouth and the dark side closed his lips in triumph. “Wooo! Two points!”

“Again! Again!” The mustached aspect chanted, mouth muffled as he chewed the gummy candy. “No not again-”

“Here you go!” Another gummy flew in the air and successfully landed its target while Logan sighed heavily. Janus smirked and grabbed a gumdrop as well. His fellow dark side shimmied in excitement and turned his body just enough to face the two faced aspect. The candy was tossed up and caught triumphantly.

“Will you stop!?” Logan demanded in exasperation.

“You’re just jealous that I’m so good with my mouth.” Remus wiggled his brows. Logan scoffed in return, unimpressed.

“Please, it’s hardly a talent to catch flying food with your mouth,” he remarked, adjusting his glasses. “It’s simple calculations of trajectory and relies more on the skill of the thrower.”

“Oh yeah? Why don’t you give it a try then Nerdy Wolverine?” Remus grabbed a yellow gumdrop. “Put your money where your mouth is.” Logan scoffed again and rolled his eyes.

Crossing his arms, he regarded the matter. “I do not see what the point would be. It’s a childish activity.” The Duke made chicken noises and Logan’s eye began to twitch. “But very well, I shall prove that it is an easy feat.” A twinkle shined in murky brown eyes and Remus’s mustache twitched with glee. He lifted his hand as if to toss the gummy and Logan eyed the angle and moved his body to the most optimal position.

Just as the logical side opened his mouth, Remus used his other hand to grab a fistful of gumdrops and toss them with abandon. The change of tactics caught Logan by surprise, his face flinching as it was pummeled by a variety of colored gumdrops. Remus shrieked with laughter, clutching his sides as he tipped his chair dangerously back.

Anger rose within the logical being. On impulse, better befitting the embodiment of Intrusive Thoughts, he grabbed a handful himself and threw it with viscous accuracy. Remus shrieked again out of surprise, tipping further in his chair until he fell back entirely. Silence followed. Logan breathed heavily as he slowly registered what he had done. “I-I’m sorr-” “FOOD FIGHT!” Remus rose back up, seemingly unaffected, and grabbed a finished cookie.

“Don’t you dare use my masterpiece-” Janus hissed in warning, but it went ignored. Remus threw the cookie back at Logan, who dodged in the nick of time. With a cry of fury, the lying side grabbed one of the other’s cookies and smashed it against Remus’s face.

Patton quietly gathered as many cookies as he could onto a platter, smiling all the while as the other three threw confections at one another.

-----

“Hey guys, we’re back,” Virgil greeted the gang as he and Roman rose up in the living room. Heavily bagged eyes scanned the area, whistling low at how nice and festive everything looked. “Wow, it’s like Christmas threw up in here.”

“My stars, the tree looks magnificent!” Roman remarked, moving towards the great pine he had conjured up for the group before he and Nightmare Before Christmas had gone to shoot an episode with Thomas. “Are those ninja stars?”

“Those are Remus’ replacement from the banned ornaments of last year,” Janus replied, lounging on the couch as if he had not a care in the world.

“What’s on your face?” Virgil smirked as he rose a brow at the smudge of green on the non scaly side of the other’s face.

“Nothing,” came the smooth lie, “What’s on yours? Surely the video isn’t so horrible as to cause you to become even more raccoon-like?” Virgil opened his mouth to retort, but gagged as Patton appeared with a platter of cookies and shoved one into his mouth.

“I saved you boys some cookies!” Morality chirped merrily. He offered the platter to Roman, who happily looked over the options.

“The holly cookies are missing some leaves,” he pointed out. Remus broke out into a fit of giggles from behind the couch and Logan rolled his eyes.

“Apparently,” Patton explained, though it was clear he was still confused on the matter himself. “Those aren’t holly.”

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