#the dark profit saga

[greykolla-art]

I keep falling off and climbing back on the art-wagon, it’s very annoying.

But anyway, I’m reading Orconomics, first book in the Dark Profit Saga. It’s a fantasy satire about the economics of a world run by adventure tropes. It’s really fun! The protagonist is also very good! Gorm Ingerson is world weary, haunted and grumpy but has a good heart and is a great leader. I also love dwarfs so that’s already a bonus.👌

His squire is this very cute and messy goblin. And him and the elf ranger also have a nice friendship, they bond over being jaded alcoholics.💖

[modstin]

It's kind of insane Tumblr hasn't latched onto the dark profit saga, which is a series of books about the crossroads of capitalism's overlap with racism, genocide, and exploitation, culminating in the most blunt "Capitalism is antithetical to all that's good" villain possible. And there's a gnoll milf in it

[quotent-potables]

There is not always a light at the end of the tunnel. That is why you must carry a torch.

Niln, Son of a Liche, book 2 of The Dark Profit Saga, by J. Zachary Pike

[mapas-fantasticos]

Map of Arth from the Dark Profit Saga by J. Zachary Pike.

[magic-is-something-we-create]

i DESPERATELY need more people to read orconomics by j zachary pike. foaming at the mouth having finished book 2 and this series continues to surprise me with how fucking phenomenal a satire and compelling narrative it is

[johnnyricks]

Ding ding ding!

Dragonfired is still as funny as the rest of the dark profit saga. The ending, however, is a bit too much for me.

All in all, 4/5

[beefrobeefcal]

Dark!Frankie Saga: I

Chapter One: Signed and Sealed

Pairing: Dark!Frankie Morales x Fem!Reader

Summary:

Boston. The Frontiersmen is a crime syndicate that deals in drugs, arms, and anything else they can to keep themselves on top. Since the original ring leader, Tom, was allegedly taken out by a rival gang, it's now run by Big Fish, with Pope second in command. Ironhead runs the numbers and Benny is the muscle. Your family member put you down as collateral when they needed credit to score more smack. Problem is, they can't pay it back, and Big Fish & the Frontiersmen always get their payment...

Rating: Explicit 18+ (MDNI)

Chapter Word Count: 4,353

Content Warning: Not smut yet (apologies), references to SA, drugs, violence, threats of violence, crime, food talk, weight talk

Author's Notes: An everlasting and beautiful thank you to @neverwheremoonchild for their never-ending THOTs, hot takes, and for beta'ing this. Your support is why I adore this platform - Thank you, Nevy! 💜🥩💜 Y'all say thank you to Nevy for basically brainstorming this with me!

And this is not the Chubby!Frankie we know and love in the Catfish & the Mouse universe; he's dark, mean, and hungry.

I'll be updating this each week (Monday/Tuesday) until you lose interest or I finish it - let's see what happens first! 👌

--------<3---------

The reality of the situation was hitting you hard. Your older brother, the one most would think of as a protector, had betrayed you in the worst way imaginable.  

He had a drug problem for the majority of his adult life, but now it had become a full-blown catastrophe. Steven, your brother, owed money to some of the worst people in the state, maybe even the country. The Frontiersmen, a powerful syndicate, had allowed him to rack up a ridiculous debt that they knew he wouldn’t be able to pay, but you didn’t know what he’d put down as collateral – you. 

You were now nothing more than a bargaining chip to prolong your brother’s coke problem and buy him more credit. You were now property being handed over to a terrifying group of men who made a profit off of people’s darkest needs. 

“I know... I know I fucked up... I know I did.”, Steven sobbed into his hands in front of you. “I thought I’d be able to pay them back...” 

You sat in your living room, numb to it all, watching Steven cry. You knew he was sorry now, but you doubted it was because of what he’d done to you. No, you were sure it had more to do with the fact that the Frontiersmen had cut him off until he paid his debt. Until you were turned over to pay that debt. 

You weren't sure if it was minutes or hours that you sat and watched him sob in your living room, but it was interrupted by a knock at your door. Your head took a minute to process that your body was already moving and opening the door. 

Standing in front of you was a tall, blond man and a shorter, dark haired man. Both their eyes were on you in cold stares. You just stared right back. You guessed who they were, or at least what they were doing here at your apartment. Wordlessly, you stepped aside and opened the door to allow them entrance.  

The taller, blond man moved passed you and into the living room while the smaller, dark haired man waited for you to move so he could close the door and lock it. 

You gave him a curt smile and nod, stepping back away from the door.  

After closing the door, he turned around and looked you up and down, with a small, yet menacing smile. He huffed in a dry laugh before motioning you to the living room. 

A sour feeling washed over you and your mouth salivated like you were going to be sick, but you looked down and walked into the living room where your brother was on his knees in front of the blond man. 

“... so she had no idea you signed her life away?”, the blond man scowled then turned to look at you. 

His icy stare caused you to shrink and wrap your arms around yourself.  You stepped back, bumping into the shorter, dark haired man. His hands came to your arms gently and he held you in place. 

“Benny...”, he warned in a low tone. “We came here for two things: payment and a reminder.” 

Your body trembled in his hold, and he rubbed your arms gently. You knew better than to believe he actually gave a shit about you, and he was more than likely doing this to get you to go with them without making a scene. You weren't going to resist; their reputation was more than enough incentive to go quietly. 

“He’s a shitbag, Pope... fucking sold out his sister!”, he barks, his eyes narrowing at you, then snapping to the other man while he motioned his hand at you. “She didn’t even know!” 

“Payment, Benny!”, Pope spoke sharply. “Payment and a reminder. That’s it.” 

You jumped when Pope’s volume increased but stayed in place, and Benny looked at you again, his eyes now reading more furious than cold. 

You swallowed thickly, the lump in your throat growing, and looked down.  

“I’ll fucking remind this sonofabitch...”, Benny muttered as pulled out a rag and wrapped it around his fist. 

Your lip trembled and Pope’s hands stopped their gentle rubbing, and he held your arms a little firmer, pulling you back against him. 

“You don’t need to see this, honey.”, he said softly in your ear, causing you to shudder at the warmth and tenor of his voice. “Unless you want to...” 

You kept your gaze low, not noticing the look of remorse and sympathy Benny gave you as you shook your head.  

“Come on then.”, Pope said softly, turning you around and tilting your face up to his with his finger and thumb on your chin. “Are you gonna behave or do I have to cuff you?” 

Your eyes widened and your body’s trembling intensified; you shook your head and squeaked out, “I... I’ll behave.” 

Pope smiled at you, eyes roving over your face, and he nodded. “Let’s get some things packed up for you and head to the car.” 

He watched as your shaky hands packed a bag in your bedroom; clothing, toiletries and personal items. He confiscated your cell phone and laptop, saying that they had to be secured first and you might get them back.  He picked up your packed back and led you to the door. 

The last thing you heard as Pope led you out was the sickening sound of a fist hitting flesh and Steven scream. 

***** 

Frankie was a reluctant leader. He didn’t ask to be put in charge, but his strategic problem solving, and his restrained demeanor worked in his favour to put him at the top. 

Since Tom was taken out, both Pope and Will had said that Frankie was the best choice to lead the Frontiersmen if he gave up his coke habit. Kicking that was easy; the hard part was filling the void that was left. But he found something with relative ease. 

Will watched Frankie as he finished his large pizza; he was now used to watching Frankie eat in their meetings. He’d watched as Frankie had gone from being a lean and muscled soldier with an angular face to what the new leadership role had carved him into over the past few years – big. His thick and muscled arms stretched his sleeves, his face was fuller with a patchy beard, and big belly pulled every shirt he owned taut around the middle when he hadn’t eaten to capacity. Despite his weight gain, Will was glad his friend and boss was off the smack. 

“Where’s Pope and Benny?”, Frankie asked between bites. 

“Picking up payment from that skid, Steven. Not money.”, Will said, eyes down in his notes, avoiding Frankie’s questioning look. 

“Not money?” 

“The collateral he put his debt against.”, Will said in a blunt tone, hoping to move on before having to elaborate. “We have a few things we need to iron out when they get back...” 

“Collateral but not money?”, Frankie asked again in a firmer tone. “Explain what the fuck that means.” 

Will sighed. This ‘collateral’ was a holdover from when Tom was in charge, and despite him not liking it, he felt it necessary to hold Steven accountable and take what they were owed; he agreed to the decision with Pope to move forward, and they were both going to tell Frankie about it. But Pope wasn’t back yet, and it was left to Will. 

“It’s not money.”, Will said, avoiding Frankie’s raised eyebrows. 

“Yeah... I got that. So, what is it?” 

“His sister.” 

Frankie groaned and put his head in his hands. “Please, for the love of god, tell me Pope isn’t bringing back a person in lieu of payment.” 

“He is.” Will kept his eyes low. He knew he and Santi were taking a risk doing this, especially given they were going above Frankie’s head. But they also knew that Frankie needed to put fear in the minds of anyone who had a debt to pay. 

Frankie’s jaw tightened and he sat back and looked at Will. 

“Will.”, he barked. “Look at me and tell me what the fuck is going on.” 

“It’s an old contract we had with this guy... it was done up under Tom.”, Will paused, then sat forward, hardening his tone. “Look, Pope made the call and I agreed. You need to scare the people that owe you money; you need to collect on your debts. People are starting to think you’re going soft, Fish.” 

It wasn’t a lie. Frankie was more lenient than Tom was, allowing for extensions and lighter repercussions. There were more people willing to deal with late penalties than actually pay, and Will didn’t want this to get out of hand. He just wished Pope was here to tell Frankie himself. 

“Fuck.”, Frankie snapped. “Maybe so, Will, but we’re not human traffickers! We don’t take people!” 

“Steven has a big mouth. He’s not going to sit on this. He's going to run his mouth, looking for help to get her back. Words going to get out that you – YOU, Frankie – took his fucking sister. He’s not going to tell anyone that he put her down as collateral. He’s going to paint you as the asshole who took what he was owed. It’s good PR.”  

Will sat back, hoping this would be enough to keep Frankie from losing his shit. 

“So, we took some girl because this fucking skid couldn’t pay.”, Frankie spat out, clenching his fist. He raised his voice, yelling, “And my name gets dragged through the mud as the fucker who called for it?” 

Will raised his hands, trying to calm him. “Your reputation as someone not willing to let debts go unpaid is solidified, Fish.” 

Frankie sat back, aghast. His mind suddenly went to Steven’s sister.  

“Did she know?” 

Will looked down at his notebook, then up again. “I don’t think so. Pope messaged and said she was pretty shook up.” 

Frankie let out a heavy sigh and put his head back in his hands. “What else did he say?” 

Will hesitated with a smile on his face and waited for Frankie to look at him. “He said she’s hot.” 

***** 

You didn’t look out the window to see where you were headed. Sitting between the two men, you glanced over at Benny, seeing the small spatter of blood on his sleeves – your brother’s blood. A sick vindication warmed your cheeks, knowing he was at least bleeding for what he’d done, even if it wasn't specifically for what he’d done to you. 

Benny noticed you looking at his hands, and he grinned.  

“He pissed his pants.”, he chuckled. “Had the nerve to beg me not to hurt him.” 

You nodded, eyes darting back to your own hands in your lap. While it gave you a moment of reprieve from the imminent doom creeping through your mind, it didn’t help the situation he put you in. 

The car slowed to a stop and Pope opened the door, getting out.  

“Benny, take her to the rec room. I’ll get Fish.” 

Your blood ran cold. Fish, otherwise known as Big Fish, was the head of the Frontiersmen and it scared you shitless to know you were going to meet him. 

Benny nudged you. “Come on, honey.” 

You looked up at him, trembling, and nodded. Shakily taking his hand, he helped you out of the car. Grabbing your bag from the trunk, he put his hand on the small of your back and guided you inside the building. 

“Shakin’ like a leaf, honey.”, he mused. “Just behave like a good girl and you got nothing to worry about.” 

You nodded again, feeling your chin quiver. Behave like a good girl. What does that mean? Sudden realization washes over you in a cold sweat as to what payment they could want from you. Your breathing became ragged at the thought of what they would do to you, do to your body.  

Benny opened a door to a rec room with some men playing darts, drinking, talking. 

“Clear out, boys. Boss’s coming down.”, Benny boomed. 

All eyes were on you now, and with a firm look from Benny, they began to leave, murmuring and hushed voices wondering who you were and what was going on.  

“Didn’t ask for you to clear out slow, boys!”, he barked angrily, making you flinch. “Fuckin’ move!” 

With that, the room was cleared almost instantly, and Benny led you to an armchair, guiding you to sit. 

“You want anything, honey?”, he motioned to the fridge, walking towards it, looking at you with a warm smile. 

You shook your head, keeping your eyes low.  

“You sure? We got some soda, beer... “, he said, taking stock of what was in the fridge, then turning back to you. His face fell when he saw the thousand-yard stare in your eyes. 

He tapped the fridge with his fingers, thinking. He didn’t like that you were being used like this. You were pretty and seemed sweet, and definitely didn’t deserve what your skid mark of a brother had done to you.  

“Hey. Can you cook?” 

You look over to him and nod slowly.  

“What’s your specialty?” 

“My… my what?”, you asked, shaking your head. 

“What’s your go to recipe that you know you’re good at makin’, honey?”, he responded, closing the fridge and leaning against it, facing you. 

“I… I make a pretty good lasagna.” 

Benny’s grin was wide, and he nodded. “Perfect.” 

***** 

“What the fuck were you thinking?”, Frankie bellowed at Pope, slamming his fist down. 

Both he and Will were seated at the table in the office while Frankie stood, reprimanding them. 

“Fish… the guy’s a fucking junkie and he wasn’t going to be able to pay. Just took what we’re owed – what you’re owed!”, Pope tried to reason. 

“I’m not owed a fucking person, Pope! You shoulda just let Benny break his legs or something.” 

“Broken leg isn’t enough for his debt, Frank.”, Will said calmly, leaning back in his chair. “He owed way too much money. Broken leg, even legs, isn’t going to cut it. Needed to be bigger. Something to scare him and anyone else not paying shitless.” 

Frankie held onto the back of his chair and shook his head angrily. “Why didn’t you ask? Why didn’t you fucking talk to me first?” 

Before Will could try and reason with Frankie, Pope casually said with a smile, “Because I knew you would’ve balked at it. Would’ve said no.” 

Will sighed and gave Pope a glare and Frankie looked at him, furious. 

“So, you run this fucking show now?”, Frankie growled with his knuckles turning white from how hard he was gripping the chair.  

Pope’s smile fell and he raised his hands. “Not what I meant, Frankie. I just saw an opportunity for you to make a statement and – “ 

Frankie harshly threw the chair out of his way and stalked over to Pope, leaning over him and spoke in a terrifyingly low growl. 

“You go around me one more fucking time, Santiago, I’ll cut your fucking hands off.” 

He kept his face, full of contempt and fury, close to Pope’s, and Pope nodded at him, sweating under Frankie’s glare, knowing full well what he was capable of – cutting off limbs being one of those things. 

“You, too.”, Frankie snarled as he stood up, pointing at Will. “Understood?” 

They both nodded. Frankie’s loud voice and stature, wide shoulders and strong arms, already made him intimidating when he was mad, but with the added bulk he was carrying, he was downright terrifying. 

“Yeah, un-understood.”, Pope stammered.  

“What do you want us to do with her?”, Will asked quietly. 

Frankie leaned back on the table; it groaned under his weight.  

“You brought her here with no plan for her? What the fuck is wrong with – “ 

Will interjected quickly. “She could be useful… for you.” 

“What?”, Frankie barked, standing up. 

Pope knew where Will was going with and added with a dark grin. “She’s a fucking hottie, Fish. Could be useful.” 

Frankie shook his head and looked at Will, ignoring Pope’s comment, and speaking in a harsh tone. What do you mean – useful for me?” 

Will swallowed. “Maybe she’s got some skills, can be put to work. If Pope’s right and she’s cute, what’s the harm? Not like she could say no to you.” 

Frankie thought for a moment. She could say no… and if he fucked her anyway, what did that say about him?  

“Jesus, Will…”, he huffed, shaking his head. His eyes coldly looked up and met Will’s, and growled loudly, “The fuck is wrong with you? I expect that kind of shit from him, but not you.” 

Frankie moved and stood right in front of Will, arms crossed and glaring down at him. 

“That’s not what we do.”, he snarled lowly. “That’s what fucking Tom did.” 

Will glanced at Pope before nodding at Frankie.  

He held the glare with Will for a moment longer then looked between the two men. 

“Where is she?”, he sighed. 

“With Benny. In the rec room.”, Pope murmured. 

Frankie rolled his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh, then motioned for Will get her. 

***** 

Benny had been trying his hardest to keep you calm and distracted with questions and musings for the last hour and a half. He was occasionally interrupted by one of the grunts – as he called them – wandering in to hang out, not having gotten the run down from any of the other guys that the rec room was closed, and Benny would chase them out. 

“… so this guy’s got a wrench and I only got a plastic spoon, and he’s comin’ at me with it – “ 

Benny’s story is interrupted by the door opening. He turned to yell at whoever it was to get out but stopped when another tall, blond man walked into the room. He looked you over quickly and nodded his head to Benny. 

Benny stood up and walked towards the man and speaking softly. As they spoke, you could only hear bits and pieces, but you were able to pick up was that this man’s name was probably Will and Benny told him you could cook. 

Will held his hand up to shush Benny and walked towards you. He sat down in the armchair Benny previously occupied, while Benny stood to your other side, hands in his jean pockets. 

Will let out a long sigh as he sat back, elbow on the armrest and chin on his fist. You could feel his eyes burning over you as you kept your own low and on his shoes. 

“Benny says you can cook.”, his voice was cool and flat, with a slight lilt to it.  

You nodded. “Yeah… yes. I can cook.” You tried to match at least his flat tone, but the fear Benny had spent the last while trying to quell had sunk its fang s back into you. 

Will nodded and looked at Benny, nudging his head to let him know he could leave -  he should leave.  

Benny huffed a nervous breath and left the room. But he didn’t go far; you could see his shadow lingering under the door. 

“Not gonna beat around the bush, honey. Boss doesn’t want you here, and frankly, neither do I.”, he said plainly with a hint of warmth. 

While there was no malice in his voice, the smoldering anger in his eyes said otherwise. You nodded.  

“But you’re here, and you say you can cook. Boss needs someone to cook for him since the last one was caught stealing and… went for a swim.” 

“I can cook… wha-what does the boss like?”, you ignored his last statement and forced yourself to speak. 

“Boss likes pretty girls.”, Will chuckled with a small smile, leaning forward and putting a hand on your knee. “Especially likes pretty girls that can be useful.” 

You lowered your head and nodded, trying to hold back the full body shudder that was desperately trying to rip through you. 

He watched you closely when he spoke, trying to get a reading on how easily you were intimidated. While he knew Frankie would more than likely act like you weren’t there, he couldn’t say the same for Pope or himself, let alone any of the other men, and until Frankie said you were off limits, you were fair game. 

“Don’t be shy, honey. No one else here is gonna be.”, he said with a dark chuckle. “Look at me.” 

You looked up at him and the menacing glare in his eyes glowed.  

“Just behave like a good girl. You might make it out of here alive.” 

***** 

The Benny who had tried to console you was gone the moment you walked out of the rec room with Will. He was now cold and stoic, no emotion, and he was intimidating. Benny walked ahead of you and Will walked beside you, his arm around your waist and they led you down the hallway. 

Benny turned and opened a door, walking in and standing to the side, remaining at the door as if to keep guard. 

It was an office. At the far end was a floor-to-ceiling window that spanned the wall, looking out onto the pier, with a desk in front if it, facing you. Behind the desk was a large, high back swivel chair, and in front of it were four plush lounge chairs, arranged to face the desk. Along the sides of the office were shelves containing books, pictures, and other personal odds and ends. Everything was either wood or brass, unless it was upholstered; the room was dated and smelled like stale cigars, old wood, and another scent that took you a minute to place - pizza. 

Will ushered you to sit in one of the centre chairs facing the desk and stood behind you with his hand on your shoulder, as if he thought you might try and escape – you’d given up on that idea back in your apartment. 

There were a pair of footsteps approaching outside the door and your body stiffened; Will gave your shoulder a squeeze as the door opened. You kept your head low and forward, not daring to look at who came in, although you were sure you knew who it was. 

Pope came and sat in the chair next to you and smiled. Will removed his hand and sat in the chair on your other side, and Benny stood behind you. Heavy footsteps moved between your and Will’s chairs, and then you saw him.  

He was tall with broad shoulders, and was wearing fitted, faded jeans and a black and red bowling shirt. His crossed arms stretched the sleeves, and the desk creaked as he leaned back on it. You dared to look up at his face, and you were taken aback; instead of the steely blue stare you got from Benny or Will, or the dark, cold void that Pope had, you were met with big brown, warm eyes looking you over, and a soft face sporting patchy facial hair and mustache. His hair was dark brown and slicked back. Your eyes flicked down his large frame quickly and you noted how his buttons pulled across his ample stomach.  

“Huh.”, he mused quietly as his eyes trailed over you more blatantly. His tongue flicked between his lips softly as if he were thinking.  

“Pope was right. You’re cute.”, he huffed, putting a toothpick in his mouth. “I don’t have any fuckin’ use for cute.” 

“She cooks.”, Will interjected.  

Frankie’s eyes darted to Will and then back to you, and he looks you up and down again. 

“Okay… so you cook.”, Frankie said with a hint of annoyance. “What else you got?” 

Your eyes looked up to his face and you were met with his mouth pulled into a tight line and his eyes baring down on you; the intensity of his stare was almost too much. He raised a brow at you as if to say I asked you a question. 

You looked back down at your hands, needing to break the connection your eye contact with him had made. 

“I used to… used to work in an office. I can file, balance books… other administrative… things - ” 

“Interesting… Tell me you’re thinking the same thing I am, Fish.”, Pope chuckled quietly. “A hot secretary.” 

He turned his attention to you and his hand moved to your thigh, his fingers roving under your skirt and up closer to your crotch. His voice dropped into a honeyed tone, dripping in venom. “You ever fucked your boss, honey? You’ve got four now.” 

You try to not make any movements, but the subtle way you shift screams your discomfort.  

“Jesus, Pope. Stop.”, Benny huffed under his breath behind you.  

Pope chuckled and gave your thigh a squeeze before removing his hand. Frankie’s stare didn’t leave you; he wanted to see how well you handled being the target of men’s overt advances and their groping. His narrowed eyes watched as you tried not to squirm or give a reaction to Santi’s hand or words, and he frowned. 

The only sound in the room was the desk Frankie rested on creaking as he shifted his weight. He sighed deeply.  

“Ben, get her a room set up in the barracks. Take her with you. I’m fuckin’ done looking at this.”, he grunted, motioning his hand aggressively in your direction.  

“I can take her.”, Pope chimed in with a low and crooning voice. You could hear the grin in his voice and his eyes in you, and you wondered what changed from when he came to your apartment to now. 

“Fuck off, Pope!”, Benny hissed. 

“Hey!”, Frankie yelled angrily. “Pope, stay right the fuck where you are. Benny, get her out of here. Now!” 

Benny’s hand quickly came around to your arm, tugging you out of the chair, and out of the room. The last glimpse of Frankie you got was watching him glare at you from his position against the desk. 

--------<3---------

TAGLIST:

@theywhowriteandknowthings @harryleatherfit @harriedandharassed @neverwheremoonchild @rebel-held @beee-haw @nevergoingbacknowshine @idolatrybarbie @v4vayha @lalocitos @xdaddysprincessxx @deathsholywaterr @heareball @lyssramscal @wintrwinchestr @blackfemalenerd @noxturnalpascal

[pastafossa]

i don’t know if this is a weird question or not, but i’m just gonna ask it before i overthink too much 😅:

so, i’m formatting/printing TRT in order to bind in (just to have, not to profit off of, don’t worry), and i was thinking. you know how lots of books have a dedication from the author to friends/family/fans?

well, if you could write a dedication like that (and it would go in the printing if you’re okay with it), what would you say?

~ sincerely, a massive fan of your talent 💜

Thank you SO SO MUC! 😭 And this isn't weird at all although I FEEL LIKE PEDRO PASCAL WHEN HE GOT THE AWARD AND DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY BECAUSE HE HAD NOTHING PREPARED

I had to sit here for a GOOD long minute and then edit it down because holy shit there are people to thank.

Thank you to my family for always supporting your little oddball of a child over the years as I searched for, and eventually found, the artform that made my soul sing.

Thank you to the Daredevil writers, and Charlie Cox, for bringing to life a world and a character I've come to love so dearly, and a character whose struggles helped me process so much of my own pain and trauma.

And thank you to TRT's fans for following Matt and Jane's wild journey that I hilariously thought would attract three readers at most. Thank you for all the love and encouragement, the new friendships, and for letting me throw all my favorite tropes at you. You've kept me going when things got dark. You're the best readers I could have asked for. May this saga of foul-mouthed psychics, sexy devils, evil scientists, penguin courtship, emotional healing, wild smut, and true love most of all, give you just as much joy as it gave me. I love you. Stay hydrated.

[beatrice-otter]

20 Questions for Fic Writers Tag Game

@whetstonefires tagged me! 17 was missing, and I searched for the meme and found one that had a question 17, so it's back!

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

256! But that's going back 18 years, so it's an average of a little over 14 fics per year.

2. what’s your total AO3 word count?

1,245,329. Which works out to an average of 4900 words per fic, or 69k words/year. Respectable, solid, but I know a lot of people who've written more.

Oh! But there are a couple of podfics in there, which probably skews the words-per-work a bit.

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Uh. A quick count gives me 112 fandoms on my AO3 page, so ... a lot. I regularly write for Yuletide, and I'm polyfannish, so. A lot. I used to be big into Stargate SG-1, so I've written a lot of that but not recently. Other top fandoms include Battlestar Galactica, Buffy, various DC fandoms, various Star Trek and Star Wars fandoms, Babylon 5, Terminator (especially the Sarah Connor Chronicles), the Vorkosiverse, the Goblin Emperor, and Rivers of London.

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Past Lives (a stalled WIP that is a Star Wars time travel fixit starring Finn)

Lieutenant Bennet's Visit (Temeraire/P&P with Bennet as an aviator)

Darcy's Surprise (sequel to the above fic)

Revenge of the Zillo Beast (Star Wars, Anakin-and-Mace-Windu Groundhog Day AU)

Far Above Rubies (P&P AU, Marry Bennet marries Mr. Collins and is quite happy)

5. do you respond to comments?

Yup! Or, at least, the ones that are more than an emoji or "second kudos!" I value those too, it's just ... what would I say?

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't tend to go in for angsty endings. But, as it happens, I did write an ending lately that was fairly dark.

Fertile Ground, Battlestar Galactica, Simon only bothered to continue the fertility experiments because the others demanded it. Things are different on New Caprica. Warnings for canon-typical ... everything

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

How would one even judge? I have 256 fics, most of which have positive endings of one sort or another.

8. do you get hate on fics?

Not really? Or, at least, it's probably happened sometime in the last 18 years, but I just deleted it and forgot about it. I am very lucky, I know other writers who've gone through hell.

9. do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope!

10. do you write crossovers?

I love crossovers! AO3 thinks I have 38, but a few of those aren't really crossovers, just different corners of the same universe, and one of them is the work that combines most of my Twisting the Hellmouth crossover drabbles into one drabble collection. (The ones where I had several drabbles in a sequence to tell a longer story, I separated out to each be their own fic.) Anyway, it averages out to about two a year, although I have not written as many in the last few years as I did earlier in my fic writing career. Most recently, I have:

A Spy on the Golden State Train (Miss Fisher/Agent Carter gen)

Undiscovered Stars (Star Trek/Star Wars, Lando Calrissian/James T. Kirk)

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Oh, sure, there have been a couple of times people have put some of my fics on those skeevy for-profit websites that pop up every now and again.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Twice! Both times into Russian. Though oddly enough, none of my Vorkosiverse fics have been translated into Russian. There is a very large and active Russian fandom for the Vorkosigan saga, so if I were going to predict which of my fics would be translated into Russian, it would be those. But no, the two that were translated are a DS9 fic, and a Doctor Who/Mary Poppins crossover.

Тридцать четвертое правило by Lazurit (The 34th Rule, DS9)

Завтра ветер переменится by Kollega (A Change in the Wind, DW/Mary Poppins)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

That's tough to answer. Does it include the ones that I abandoned, say, 15 years ago and haven't thought of since? I don't tend to post WIPs because I don't like them hanging over me.

Probably Hello, Piccadilly, Hello, Leicester Square, a Wonder Woman post-movie fic about Diana trying to figure out how to live in Man's World. I had a really great hook--they pass Diana off as a war bride--but no real idea where to go from there. Which is why it stalled out after only two chapters.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Worldbuilding, probably.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Endings and action. I am not good at writing either of them. The thing I am most likely to need a beta's help with is whether or not an ending feels like an ending or if I need to wrap things up better, and if so, what do I need to do to wrap things up. And action bores me, and it's really hard to write something that bores you, so I try to avoid needing to write it.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't speak any other languages, so I wouldn't do it! Unless maybe I had someone who had already volunteered to translate for me.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Stargate SG-1! It was a spitefic that I wrote because I was so annoyed by all the Broca AUs. "The Broca Divide" was an episode where they all turn into cavepeople, and as part of it Sam Carter kisses her commanding officer, Jack O'Neill, who then takes her to the infirmary before succumbing to the infection himself. There were a ton of fics about that where they have sex instead and she gets pregnant, and afterwards she keeps the baby and they get married and everything is fine and the team stays together and nobody cares about fraternization or anything.

(There were a LOT of Sam/Jack fics out there where like the President or whoever would call them up and say "oh, you're in love? awesome! we'll just waive all the regulations about having a romantic relationship with someone in your chain of command because you're so extra special and awesome. Which really annoyed me.)

Anyway, I got annoyed enough to write a fic where they sleep together as cavepeople and she gets pregnant and things are not fine, actually, there are consequences to it.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

lol

I can never figure out my favorite anything. If you give me five options, I could maybe narrow it down to the top two. Out of 256? You have got to be kidding me.

Tagging @tielan, @alexseanchai, @mihrsuri, @birdylion, @anghraine

[div-divington]

things Remedy could definitely sell in their Official Merch Store that would undoubtedly make them A Sum of Money (a very serious and extremely cost-friendly non-exhaustive list):

- Black mug with the Federal Bureau of Control's seal on it (either the simple, clean, modern all-white version or the full coloured version)

- plushies of The Former. they're cute and i like them.

- mini-fridge that looks like AI10-KE (the Arctic Queen)

- literally just normal stationary with FBC imagery attached. Lemme buy Pope's clipboard.

- Oceanview Motel & Casino keychain

- Inverted Black Pyramid keychain

- Replica posters for all the fun little posters in the Oldest House (Do as you're told! Don't eat the Mold!)

- Get a real actual wizard to curse a buncha rubber duckies so they actually follow buyers around and quack at them (may not be profitable depending on wizard rates)

- The hairclip Jesse gets when she finishes the base game

- just. That poster Ahti has on his office door. Of himself.

- Tiny Little Hotline

- hoodie with Bureau seal on it

- small high-detail statues of Jesse and other characters (Emily, Arish, Langston, Marshall, idk) in action poses (or just dynamic poses)

- a vinyl record featuring literally nothing but Langston's freestyle poetry/rap from AWE on loop (on both sides) (cover art should be a low-res PNG of Langston with 2013 MLG sunglasses Photoshopped poorly onto him and "Langston's Greatest Hits" written in hot pink Comic sans font)

There are also a buncha Alan Wake options too:

- Life-sized cutout of Alan complete with book-holding shelf

- book sleeves so you can dress any unrelated book up as a litany of Alan's literary wonders

- Oh Deer Diner mug

- More of those thermoses (I will eradicate the scalpers that bought them all within literally seconds of them being made available)

- all the Manuscript pages from all the Alan Wake games (including the tiny amount we hear him narrate in AWE) in either an FBC "CLASSIFIED" folder or a dirty envelope

- real gun

- any and all posters from any and all AW games. Like the ones advertising Tom Zane's movies, or the ones telling you to celebrate Deerfest or the ones telling you to visit Coffee World

- plushie of Mayor Setter :)

- plushie of the Coffee World mascot (make it do the terrifying laugh when you squeeze its hand too)

- Barry Wheeler desk statue where the headlamp and Christmas lights light up

- "Not The Worst Mom" mug (PLEASE)

- deer masks

- anatomically accurate Taken-Nightingale statue with removable heart (show me the terror)

- just a framed print out of Alex Casey giving us the Look he always does

- Dr. Hartman's "The Creator's Dilemma" book sleeve so we can bask in his smug smile

- official Alan Wake branded flashlights

- Saga's sweater/sweaters?

- for $3000 Sam Lake just personally shows up at your house and sends you to the Dark Place

feel free to add more

[stainlesssteellocust]

Ok. Where should I start with the 40K novels?

I tried one like 15 years ago and it was bad, no memory of which. Generic space marine stuff. I like the setting and many games, though much of the fandom can be exhausting.

I trust your tastes!

Hmm. There are unfortunately rather more bad or mediocre ones than good, but let’s see. Hopefully your trust will not be misplaced!

Possibly my favourite is The Infinite and the Divine, by Robert Rath. It’s a tale of two Necrons, mad historian and archaeologist Trazyn the Infinite and his rival, oracle and time-wizard Orikan the Diviner, as they squabble over an artifact that could change the destiny of their people. A tale of petty scheming and Tom & Jerry nonsense that stretches for thousands of years. I’m currently reading Rath’s Siege of Cadia, and while it isn’t quite as good, more grand battles and the like, it’s still a good read so far.

Also about the Necrons is Severed by Nate Crowley, a lovely little novella about a Necron general who thinks he’s still flesh and blood, and his long-suffering assistant. The same author also has a few books out, called The Twice Dead King, and I’ve tried the first one. Found it slow going and got distracted, but maybe I wasn’t in the mood at the time. I’ve heard good things about it from others.

There’s the Cain series, which is considered a classic. It’s framed as the private memoirs of celebrated Imperial hero Ciaphas Cain, with asides from an Inquisitor he had a close relationship with. The joke is that, to hear Cain tell it, his reputation is a lie: He’s an utter coward who somehow manages to come out smelling of roses every time, is rewarded by being sent into ever nastier wars and situations, and ends up having to act like his false heroic persona in order to lever his reputation to survive.

It’s a slightly more comedic take on the setting than most, with an undercurrent of unreliable narration: It’s suggested that while Cain isn’t the square-jawed hero propaganda says he is, he’s a lot more heroic than he gives himself credit for, and the extend to which he’s really a coward as opposed to a brave man riddled with self loathing and imposter syndrome is left up in the air. Been a while but the ones I read tended to be fun, if slightly formulaic after a while.

I remember enjoying the old Sisters of Battle books by James Swallow, but I haven’t read them in many years so I’m not sure if they hold up. Same with the Eisenhorn series; both are due a reread and I’ll get back to you on whether they’re worth it.

Blades of Damocles is bolter porn but it’s relatively fun bolter porn, and watching the culture clash of the Imperium and the Tau is nice.

I originally got into 40k novels via William King’s stuff; his Ragnar stories are the usual Space Marine fare (star Viking flavour) but he’s more skilled with it than most. He also wrote the most iconic books for Warhammer Fantasy: The original run of Gotrek and Felix, about a dwarf who wishes to atone for an unnamed sin via dying in battle and the human poet who drunkenly agreed to write his death saga, and to his horror now finds himself dragged to the ends of the earth as Gotrek seeks a worthy death. According to fannish lore, their books were the most profitable part of the WHF IP when Games Workshop nuked that setting (a decision they appear to be rolling back).

And speaking of Fantasy, I personally liked the story Drachenfels, which begins in media res as a party of adventurers battles a dark lord…then cuts to years later as their leader, now a powerful politician, reunites his old party members. By putting on a play of their victory over the dark lord. In the dark lord’s castle. On the eve of his defeat. Which of course cannot possibly go wrong. No siree.

I’ll also throw in a couple of fanfics if you’re into that: Breaker of Chains and its two sequels (third instalment not finished) feature the Primarch Angron, in canon a servant of the Chaos god Khorne and leader of the berserk World Eater space marines. In canon Angron landed on the planet Nuceria as a child and led a slave rebellion against its masters only for the Emperor to snatch him away at the last moment to serve him, resulting in his comrades dying and Angron’s mind breaking, leading him to Chaos. In this story his Legion finds him first, his rebellion wins and he enters the wider galaxy relatively more well adjusted.

Relatively.

Whereas Suffer Not is the tale of an Inquisitor doing her best to actually make the galaxy a better place. Shockingly. Completed, has a sequel, got some negative fan attention because of its take on the setting but I rather liked it.

(Both of the above make the unusual choice of using second person, because they were interactive works: Readers would vote on the character’s next action, and the author would weave the result into the next update.)

I’m sure there’s a lot more stuff I’m missing, but that should be a good start.

[cinemagooey]

Is it The End for the Summer Blockbuster?

Where is our Jaws? Our Dark Knight? Our Barbenhiemer? So far the summer of 2024 has been a summer bummer.

Hollywood is facing an existential crisis.

The linked story above, from the L.A. Times, is behind a paywall, so in a nutshell, the industry's hotly anticipated summer blockbuster has yet to materialize. Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga, the widely anticipated savior of summer 2024, while a critical success, has been a financial disaster. With a budget of $168 mil, it has yet to recoup its production costs.

Good reviews, but disappointing returns render Furiosa a commercial bomb for Hollywood

Same for The Fall Guy, another hotly anticipated blockbuster that fell flat. Insiders thought the action comedy, starring Ryan Gosling, fresh off the heels of 2023's blockbuster Barbie and having a swell moment after the Oscars, would be a hit. Sadly, the numbers are dismal and reviews, mixed.

The Fall Guy falls flat

Netflix's The Hit Man has made some waves but hardly enough to call it a summer boon. The Richard Linklater affable rom-com is pleasant enough, but lacks the pizazz, financial windfall and je ne sais quois that have come to be the hallmarks of a summer blockbuster.

Nice, but it doesn't hit

What is UP, Hollywood??

Why the dearth of great summer films that used to have audiences swooning, sweating or staying out of the water? Many factors have converged to create the lack of thrilling movies in the heat-searing months, including:

Changing public appetites - People aren't drawn to movie theaters anymore. Why would they be when a Friday night movie date can cost upwards of $100 for tix, popcorn and drink and much more if it's a dine-in? Most people find the entertainment they need from streaming services or their phone, all in the comfort of their home.

A scarcity of content - Hollywood is still reeling from COVID and the writers strike of 2023. These lengthy battles disrupted production schedules, placing projects on hold and cancelling others outright. Writers are still struggling, despite the so-called successful contract negotiations between the Alliance of Motion Pictures and Television Producers and the Writer's Guild of America, with studios cutting back on production and finding ways around using the normal slate of writers on projects.

Original or adapted works are out the window - If the Marvel universe taught Hollywood anything, it's that IP can be reengineered again and again (ad nauseum) at a massive profit. When the studios focus resources and efforts into regurgitating old plots and characters based on known intellectual property, they have little appetite for original works or adapted screenplays that can turn into masterpieces and become part of the cultural zeitgeist (such as Jaws, E.T., Back to the Future, The Sixth Sense, Oppenheimer, Barbie).

A great white shark that had a taste for beach-goers, JAWS (1975) was the first summer blockbuster and changed the landscape of movie-making forever.

E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial (1982) warmed our hearts and made Reeses Pieces famous.

Back To The Future's Doc and Marty and the time-traveling Deloran kept us laughing and enthralled (1985).

In The Sixth Sense (1999), a little boy could see dead people and audiences gasped at the ending - arguably one of the best twists in movie history.

Oppenheimer (2023) gave us a history lesson in the horrors of nuclear war.

Barbie (2023) kept us in pink stitches.

C'mon, Mr. Spielberg/Ms. Gerwig/Mr. Shyamalan. We need a summer hit.

What is it going to take to have another iconic, memorable summer blockbuster? No one knows. The Hollywood landscape is changing drastically with technological disruptions and mergers of major studios that concentrate output (and continue to displace creatives). Much like Jaws changed the landscape of movie-making forever, someday another film will burst forth, changing the playbook of what it means to be a blockbuster.

[mooestriovermind]

I don't think I talked about this yet and if I did fuck you I'm talking about it again

One of my favorite fantasy book series recently got the third and final book of the trilogy and I am yet to read it because it came out September 1st of this year and I only very recently found out that it was released.

It's probably some of the best fantasy I've ever read- it's also a dark comedy, but like it's really well done, and and

It's just good! It's by J. Zachary Pike and it's called "The Dark Profit Saga" and the first book in the series is "Orconomics"

If you hate capitalism and want to see an author poke fun at corporations, bureaucracy, and corrupt people in positions of power, while also kind of casting that against a high fantasy ttrpg-esque backdrop, then the Dark Profit Saga might be enjoyable for you

:>

also we could gush about the books together and talk about our favorite bits hehe

I still gotta get that third book though...

[keepsmagnetoaway]

X-Men: The Hidden Years 1 (December 1999)

John Byrne & Tom Palmer

it'shappeningagain.gif

Ok, so. At the beginning of 1970 the ongoing X-Men title was cancelled (or, at least, it kept publishing, but all it printed was reprints of existing stories): it was revived five years later. In the intervening time, the X-Men still canonically existed within the Marvel universe, and popped up occasionally in other people's books, some of which we will eventually be reading. Once they'd come back later in 1970s, though, and then become massively popular in the 80s and 90s, Marvel concluded it might be fun (i.e. profitable) to go back and tell some stories of what happened to the still-around original team after the cancellation of the book. Thus, X-Men: The Hidden Years.

This wasn't a throw-away cash-in, though, or at least wasn't meant to be: Marvel brought in the then-legendary John Byrne to write and draw the series. Byrne had drawn and written for X-Men in the late 70s, in the heyday of its revival, contributing to the most important X-Men stories ever told, the Dark Phoenix saga and Days of Future Past (someday we might even get to read them), had then written a number of massively successful other Marvel series and then, at the end of the 80s, had been lured away by DC to reboot Superman himself, which he did to considerable acclaim. By the late 90s his star was fading a little bit - notably he was now constantly clashing with his editors and abruptly quitting titles when he didn't get what he wanted - but he was still drawing and writing major titles for DC and Marvel: he was and remains a massively productive and influential figure.

So Marvel - presumably - gritted their teeth and chucked a bunch of money at him to bring his talents back to the X-Men. This isn't the place to do a full history of comics in the 90s, but since Byrne had last written for them, the X-Men too had been on a journey, becoming massively popular and ultimately being the defining superheroes of the massive boom in comics - and then also the poster-children for the crash that came around 1996, when all the hype and collectible mania and, simply, bad art and storytelling came tumbling down (we'll get to some of these issues in, oh, about 2035). Which brings us, confusingly, back to 1970.

Yeah, ok, that was a whoooooole lot of lead-in for, sorry. This is also a very weird issue to read if, like me and perhaps like you if you're following along with this blog, you've just been reading the originals, because Byrne spends the first half of this double-length debut issue recapping what happened in them. Obviously this is a good idea - especially in 1999 when tracking down the issues online would have been next to impossible - but for me it's just very funny to see all this stuff I was reading last week be catapulted fowards into a totally different style and summarised in one panel per issue.

The contrast with the older art, which is still fresh in my mind, is obviously also interesting, and I think mostly not favourable to Byrne and Palmer's stuff here. This art isn't bad exactly, but it's...dull? Like, what is the style here? There barely is one.

It's very primary-colours-driven, a little simple-feeling. It's alright, but it's just...alright.

Anyway, jesus, does anything actually happen in this issue? Well, yes. The point Byrne is picking up from leaves him with two strands: the main team's adventures, and the fact that Iceman just sort-of quit, partly in response to the arrival of Havok and the whole vague love-triangle with Lorna. So we get a certain amount of this sort of thing.

Do you see what I mean when I say the art here is kind of childish? It seems sort of simplistic. as, frankly, does much of the dialogue.

Still, the main team (minus Iceman) are instead on their way to the Savage Land, for...reasons. Those reasons involving having to contact fucking Ka-Zar again.

Once there, they fight some "natives" before being captured by them, and Jean appears to die. Obviously this kind of fake-out is even sillier in a prequel book where we know she doesn't die at this point in the timeline but this post is long enough already so I'll not show you that whole bit. I'll finish instead by saying this: this shit wasn't ok in the 1960s, and it's really not ok in 1999. Jesus Christ.

I guess what I'm saying is, I don't think I'm going to enjoy this series.

[eddisfargo]

1, 3, 4?

Oh yay thank you!!

#1: How many books did you read this year? According to my Storygraph, which I'm pretty sure is updated, I have read 53 books this year! Of course, the year is not over yet! I did hit my original goal of 50, although I later changed it to 60, which I will not be hitting haha. I'm currently in the middle of 10, but 0 chance I'll be finishing them all in December.

#3: What were your top five books of the year? In no particular order, because it was hard enough to get them down to 5 at all:

Waybound (Cradle #12/12, by Will Wight)

Painted Devils (Little Thieves #2/3, by Margaret Owen)

Son of a Liche (The Dark Profit Saga #2/3, by J. Zachary Pike)

The Hero of Ages (Mistborn #3/3, by Brandon Sanderson)

Network Effect (Murderbot #5/7, by Martha Wells)

#4: Did you discover any new authors that you love this year?

Oh, GREAT question! I think literally everything I put above was a series I'd started in a previous year. Which makes sense because it usually takes me more than 1 book in a universe to get really invested. So this seems like a great time to include:

Jonathan Stroud, because I did start the Bartimaeus trilogy with Amulet of Samarkand, and I'm definitely planning to continue.

I also really enjoyed Beautiful, by Juliet Marillier, to the point where I'd like to read more of her stuff.

Ditto Jennifer Donnelly after Stepsister!

Thanks so much for asking, @knife-dad! This was fun!

[onlymemoriesandstories]

Tags Directory

This is for myself as much as it is for anyone following me. Just wanted an organized list of all the tags I use! Hopefully I'll even remember to update it. Reminder, if you want to know more about any of my OCs, feel free to send an ask OR check out my Toyhouse!

OCs

Salvation - Oath of Redemption Paladin Hunt!Salvation - TMA AU Desolation!Salvation - TMA AU Werewolf!Salvation - Werewolf AU Dark!Salvation - Evil AU Cassidy Aradein - Assassin Rogue and Beastmaster Ranger Hunt!Cassidy - TMA AU Baby - The Hollow Wren - Undying Warlock Clarence Egerton - Nobleman Draconic Sorcerer Riddle - Familiar to Clarence Alulah - Circle of Shepherds Druid SCP-918 - MoTW Celestial (Angel) Alexandra Pendragon - Oath of the Crown Paladin Vulpes - Fiend Warlock Moth - Masks: The Delinquent Bunny Sawyer -MH: The Mortal Persephone - Necromancy Wizard Eden - Familiar to Persephone Mercy - Cleric (Domain up for debate) Naomi - College of Valor Bard Dr Starr - Space Doctor Duk - Totem Beast Barbarian Quak - Evocation Wizard Chadley - Sun Soul Monk Kita - BitD: The Lurk Jay - Eladrin Bard Danny Devlin - Vampire Rockstar Sunset - DW: The Familiar Orithyia - Oath of Conquest Paladin Daisy Mae Haywood - Oath of the Ancients Paladin "Franklin" -1000s of rats in a trench coat balancewalker - Circus Monk

Ship Tags

Two Best Friends and Their Boyfriend - Salvation/Ozzy/Galianna You Can Call Me Monster - Salvation/Alexius Collecting GFs for Fun and Profit - Cassidy/Palwyn/Suraya + Sometimes Kivaldra Summer Shadows - Chadley/Petyr Greater Scotland Polycule - Baby/Crow/Lenore/Clash/Elijah Dead Girls Walking - Baby/Lenore Taste for Trouble - Baby/Clash Predator and Prey - Bunny/Desmond Graveyard Smash - Danny/Wolfie

Campaign Tags

Saga of Six Deserts and Oceans Atlantis No Children Allowed Heroes of the New Dawn Mobile Task Force WTF The Shimmering World of Kaladesh The Displaced Forces Maybe We're the Bad Guys Golden Gauntlet Almiraj Festival