#the d/s vibes of it all i CANNOT DEAL with it

[usertoxicyaoi]

"But ... I like that kind of character. Whenever I'm alone, I can't help but draw. It's your fault. It's because someone like you is nearby. Idiot."

MY PERSONAL WEATHERMAN (2023). Episode 5.

[black-bentley-niatruc]

Fic

Title: The Mind-Body Problem [part 2/3]

[A bonus smutty thing happening between chapters 20 and 21 of my main Human AU fic]

Fandom: Good Omens

Category: M/M

Relationship: Aziraphale/Crowley

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: filthy smut, check below for any squeaks/no-no's

Additional tags: Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot; touch-starved; Crowley has a praise kink; inexperienced Crowley; experienced Aziraphale (kind of); fluff; first time; first time topping; first time things; chest-fucking; Aziraphale is a Pillow Princess; Crowley is a tease; Aziraphale has an oral fixation; angst (thanks, Crowley!); barebacking; butt plugs; anal sex; low-key D/s vibes, but not a 'proper' D/s setting; rough sex; safe, sane and consensual; kinky; more angst (thanks, Aziraphale!); face-fucking; Aziraphale is a mess; coming untouched; virginity kink; Aziraphale is a tease; first time bottoming

Words: 3575

Originally published: 2024-05-28

Summary

“I know we were meant to go on more dates, but could we spend the whole weekend here?” Crowley asks nonchalantly.

Aziraphale makes a sound of amusement, a little breath against Crowley’s skin. “Just say it.”

“What?”

“I know what you want. Ask.”

Crowley shudders at the stern tone and Aziraphale hides a smile against the back of his own hand.

“Marathon sex.”

Human AU, Crowley and Aziraphale try new things in their relationship That's it, that's the fic; can be read as a standalone

A relevant note: Crowley's Chinese zodiac sign in the main fic is a Snake 🐍 and Aziraphale's is a Dragon 🐉

Aziraphale feels so good – each cell of his body seemingly swelled with contentment and love – that he laughs softly at the all in all cruel joke. Not that he believes Crowley meant to hurt with those two words.

Attempting to return the frantic kisses, but too slow (or is it Crowley who always goes too fast for him?) Aziraphale tries to ignore the feelings catching in his throat and to cut them at their stems before they grow into something impossible to deny.

“Marry me, angel.”

Belatedly, he feels the smile disappear from his face, not quite in control of his expression, as he searches Crowley’s eyes, focused intently on his own.

They speak of something mischievous, yes, but only on the surface, pretending to be playful, but deeper still, there are things too soft and fragile, telling him how serious Crowley is – and how can soft and fragile things cut so viciously?

“Ask me again once we’re thinking clearly,” says Aziraphale as lightly as possible, instead of what he wants to say, burying the ‘Yes’ deep in his heart and cupping Crowley’s face in his hands.

“I’m thinking clearly,” Crowley insists. “Never thought clearer in my life.”

Something twists painfully in Aziraphale’s chest. He cannot let Crowley promise what he might regret in the future. The higher they fly, the more disastrous the fall. But, if they pretend not to be connected by the invisible line that Aziraphale felt the moment they met for the first time, then perhaps nothing and no-one can break it.

“Well, I’m not.”

The disappointment and hurt in Crowley’s eyes is almost unbearable, but he makes himself withstand the wounded stare.

“Okay,” says Crowley, looking away, getting back to his guarded self.

Breathing slowly out in relief, Aziraphale cuddles up to him, face pressed against his chest, dark red hairs tickling his cheek.

He closes his eyes, physically exhausted by the intense orgasm and emotionally torn to shreds by everything he doesn’t know how to deal with. How is it that Crowley goes on and on about the complexity of the world, yet, somehow, he operates in it as if everything were simple? Why does it feel like Aziraphale is walking in circles, one moment thinking he’s found his answers only to be thrown back to square one to start anew in the next?

“I hope the plug was unreasonably expensive and you paid with your card, so that your parents could see that,” Crowley mutters, causing Aziraphale to giggle hysterically.

“It was obscenely expensive and if they’re still checking what I’m buying, it’s entirely their own fault,” he admits.

“I’m so glad I signed up for the philosophy course.”

“Me too. Though, actually, we had no choice, it’s mandatory for our programme.”

“I know we were meant to go on more dates, but could we spend the whole weekend here?” Crowley asks nonchalantly.

Aziraphale makes a sound of amusement, a little breath against Crowley’s skin. “Just say it.”

“What?”

“I know what you want. Ask.”

Crowley shudders at the stern tone and Aziraphale hides a smile against the back of his own hand.

“Marathon sex.”

“There. Wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“Shut up.”

“About that,” Aziraphale says, wriggling in sudden excitement and nervousness. “There’s something I’d like you to... do to me.”

It’s Crowley’s turn to tease. “Oohh, I bet there is.”

“Nothing too complicated, really,” Aziraphale rushes to explain. “But of course―”

“Angel, if you don’t tell me what you mean, how can I tell you whether I want it?” Crowley huffs in irritation, stroking his hand down Aziraphale’s side.

Heat crawling up his neck and cheeks, Aziraphale presses his hand against his eyes in embarrassment.

“What you did today, except... my throat, and, slower,” he manages, not that fluent in dirty talk when he isn’t on edge or already aroused.

He can tell Crowley’s grinning when he asks, “Want me to shut you up with my cock? Love it.”

Aziraphale chuckles, still nervous despite Crowley’s explicit approval. “I like it rough,” he adds.

“’Course you do,” is Crowley’s reply and suddenly the warmth of his body disappears.

“Where are you going?” Aziraphale blurts out, hating the obvious clinginess behind his reaction.

“To wash my dick before I put it in your mouth!” Crowley calls back, the crude phrasing and nonchalance in his tone causing Aziraphale’s cheeks to burn.

Oh.

Aziraphale didn’t expect Crowley to immediately implement his plan as if he were only waiting for a request of any kind. Not that he’s going to complain.

By the time Crowley comes back, Aziraphale is sitting on his heels next to the bed and shivering slightly from anticipation and the cool air caressing his naked skin.

“Wow,” says Crowley as soon as his eyes land on him. “The only thing missing is a collar around your neck.”

There is a lilt to this statement, a hidden question.

Would Aziraphale allow Crowley to put a collar on him?

“I’ll be sure to add it to my next shopping list,” he assures with a smile, watching the Adam’s apple in Crowley’s throat bob as he swallows, hard.

“Can’t wait,” Crowley breathes, stepping close, lazily stroking a hand over his erection.

Aziraphale licks his lips, leaning in to take the cock into his mouth, but Crowley doesn’t let him, cupping his palm over the flared head.

Shooting him an offended look, Aziraphale can’t keep the pout off his face.

“You’ll only take what I give you, and nothing more, you greedy cherub,” says Crowley with a mean grin.

The fiend.

Huffing through his nose, Aziraphale presses his lips together. If Crowley thinks he’s going to beg for it, then he’s got another thing coming.

A temptingly hot cockhead brushes against Aziraphale’s lips. “Open up.”

He makes sure Crowley can see him glaring defiantly. A bead of clear precome oozes from the slit, glinting tantalisingly, and Aziraphale curls his hands into fists, where they rest against his thighs. A trickle of Crowley’s seed leaks out of him in that moment and he gasps at the unfamiliar but somehow deeply arousing feeling.

The lapse in his concentration doesn’t escape Crowley’s notice. “You okay there?” he asks, his concern evident and so very sweet.

There goes all of Aziraphale’s resolve. Nodding once, he opens his mouth expectantly, pushing his tongue out just enough so that the tip is visible over his lower lip. With a sigh, Crowley presses his cockhead against the flat of Aziraphale’s tongue, rubbing gently against it with slow, shallow thrusts.

Mouth watering, Aziraphale swallows quickly. He probably should have warned it might get really messy, bordering on disgusting, at least for some people. He’s in no position to talk, now, though. He wishes Crowley would start fucking his throat already. He’d like to close his lips around him. He’d love to suck his cock.

Instead, he allows Crowley to tease him mercilessly, more precome spreading over his tongue as he waits patiently, breathing faster every time Crowley dives deeper into his mouth only to draw back again.

He moans softly when the warm cockhead hits his soft palate. Crowley groans in response, hand curling in Aziraphale’s hair, eliciting an appreciative whine, the vibrations hopefully pleasant.

“You really want me to be rough?” Crowley asks, the uncertainty and concern in his voice endearing to Aziraphale’s ears.

In response, Aziraphale grasps his hips firmly and groans around the cock in his mouth.

It seems to be enough seeing as Crowley slams into his throat without any further warnings. Tears of pain prick at the corners of Aziraphale’s eyes and he moans again, making sure to wrap his lips around his teeth – a somewhat tricky thing he never needed to learn (but he did, anyway; he doesn’t like doing things by halves).

Crowley’s so good to him – as slow and brutal as Aziraphale dreamed. His throat burns. He can’t stop moaning and squirming. His cock aches, but he keeps his hands around Crowley’s hips, digging his nails in whenever he needs to breathe. His chin is wet with spit and he revels in the undignified feeling.

He comes untouched, spilling messily over his belly and thighs, moaning loudly, tears running down his hot cheeks.

“Fuck, angel,” Crowley whines above him. “Can I come on your face?”

Normally, Aziraphale believes refractory periods to be nature’s unnecessary joke, the kind that nobody gets, but in this moment he’s grateful he physically can’t get hard again, because he’s sure he would come immediately, either at Crowley’s question or the moment his hot seed paints his cheek and nose and lips – and another orgasm like this would probably kill him.

Staring up at Crowley, Aziraphale distractedly wipes at his own wet chin with the back of his hand.

“A moment,” says Crowley, sitting at the edge of his bed, breathing hard. “I’ll bring some water― Just.”

Aziraphale understands what he means. He feels uncomfortably sticky with – he counts quickly – four...? – loads of come and just as uncomfortably slippery with lubricant, and he’d love to take a hot shower and yes, a glass of water does sound nice, but most of all he wants to cuddle with Crowley and fall asleep together in bed that’s been getting progressively filthier as well.

However, he is not that spoiled and Crowley has been so good to him, so he volunteers to bring the water and wanders to the kitchen, lightheaded from the oxygen deprivation and dazed from everything else.

He finds the glasses (and a paper towel to wipe his face relatively clean) and takes two bottles of water from the fridge. There is something domestic about it that he doesn’t want to dwell on, but his mind latches onto the feeling. So many day-to-day things they could do...

Crowley drinks his water straight from the bottle and Aziraphale smiles privately because he expected that.

“You should see yourself,” says Crowley, eyes raking over his entire body hungrily as Aziraphale takes his water in small sips, his abused throat hurting with every swallow. “You look like sin.”

“And all you want to do is sin?” Aziraphale prompts, laughing at his own terrible joke.

“That’s about right!” Crowley agrees, laughing with him even as he rolls his eyes.

“Well, I am in desperate need of a shower, I suppose, but...” Aziraphale sighs, shaking his head, tired.

“...meh,” Crowley finishes his thought. “I’m thinking: some sleep and then shower, but we do something worth getting out of bed there.”

When Aziraphale gets all wrapped in Crowley’s long limbs, he thinks – not for the first time – that there really is something snake-like about him and that he’s going to need some serious motivation to leave the bed, which is new to him, seeing that he’s not a fan of sleep. Crowley is, though, and the way he cuddles against Aziraphale to absorb his warmth and drifts off easily is a surprisingly soothing experience.

As it turns out, not even two hours later, all the motivation Aziraphale needs to leave the bed and shower is the prospect of a hot shower itself. Crowley joins him, complaining the entire way, until the steaming water hits his skin and the grumbling noises switch into ones indicating deep appreciation. In the meantime, Aziraphale re-appreciates Crowley’s body with his hands and mouth.

He insists they decide on sort of safe words to use when either needs to stop completely or just a little break for whatever reasons (because Crowley’s concerned check-ins are too sweet and too disarming, but he doesn’t tell him that) and Crowley chooses Plato and orange respectively, explaining that ‘Berkeley is too long’ when Aziraphale raises his eyebrow at him.

“Now that we’re properly cleaned,” Crowley begins, shivering with cold as he throws an oversized, black band T-shirt at Aziraphale and pulls a similar piece of clothing over his own head, “I want you to top me.”

Torn between amusement at the phrasing and the thrill of wearing something that belongs to Crowley, no matter how distant it is from his usual style, Aziraphale touches one of the sleeves affectionately with a smile and a short, “Alright, yes.”

Gosh, he hopes that didn’t sound too eager.

“Listen, I―” Crowley breaks off. “Wait, I expected I’d have to do more convincing.”

“Oh, do you want me to say no, so that you can ‘convince’ me?” Aziraphale offers, only half-jokingly.

“No, I don’t want any more coddling.”

“Good.”

“Yeah, it’s― what?! Okay!”

Still, Aziraphale sits on the bed with his back against the wall and insists that Crowley straddle him, at least for his first time, so that he can control the depth and tempo, discover what he likes best without interference from Aziraphale’s personal preferences.

“You just want me to do all the work,” Crowley accuses, gesturing around with the bottle of lubricant, but he settles in Aziraphale’s lap with a feverish look on his face – beautiful eyes glassy, cheeks flushed delicious red.

“Oh, no, you have discovered my diabolical plan,” Aziraphale mocks, good-natured, trying to convince his mind that the fact he’s the first one to do all those things with Crowley is not that arousing. His mind is of a different opinion, however.

Crowley hands him the purple bottle. “More like, the depths of your laziness,” he growls, sounding angry, but Aziraphale can tell he’s being hissy as a principle. “At least prepare me,” he demands.

“With pleasure,” says Aziraphale, already warming the viscous fluid with his fingers.

A soft sound falls from Crowley’s lips before he tilts Aziraphale’s head up and bows down to kiss him hungrily.

With his clean hand splayed over Crowley’s chest – he thinks he might be a little obsessed with the feeling of Crowley’s heartbeat against his skin – he reaches around the lithe body in his lap, slick fingers exploring unhurriedly between the firm cheeks.

When his fingertip catches against the tight little hole, Crowley breaks the kiss with a groan and curses, thighs tensing. He doesn’t use any of the words they agreed on, so Aziraphale presses gently against the furled tissue, licking his lips as Crowley lowers his hips greedily, attempting to take in Aziraphale’s finger, but failing due to Aziraphale withdrawing his hand just enough.

“Angel,” Crowley complains, giving him a look so betrayed it would look comical, if his eagerness weren’t so arousing.

Aziraphale gives in and feels the inviting warmth of Crowley’s body around the tip of his finger, his thoughts circling insistently around the fact that no-one has ever touched Crowley so intimately, and oh, Aziraphale can’t wait to bury himself to the hilt inside this heat― don’t dragons like virgins?

“Hhnngghh,” says Crowley and Aziraphale cannot help but agree as he presses in, slowly, but without a pause, until his whole finger disappears inside. He curls it, searching, until Crowley makes a prolonged sound, something between a sigh and a moan, a string of clear fluid oozing out of his cock at the new stimulation, leaving dark stains on his T-shirt.

It would seem they forgot to take these off.

Aziraphale stares at the precome that keeps leaking from the slit wishing he could lick Crowley’s cock clean and keep licking it until Crowley’s utterly spent. Perhaps another time.

Leaving the gland alone for now, Aziraphale moves his finger in a more thrusting manner until Crowley gasps, hips twitching for a while in little, abortive jerks, and then he’s suddenly fucking himself on Aziraphale’s finger, groaning, curling his hands around Aziraphale’s shoulders.

“Well? Do you feel prepared?” Aziraphale prompts gently.

“Ah!” Crowley looks down between them, eyeing Aziraphale’s cock doubtfully. “Are you sure about stretching with three fingers being a myth?” he asks cautiously.

Huffing a breathless laugh, Aziraphale kisses him, lips soft and tender, holding his head still by the jaw delicately, as he withdraws his finger and immediately comes back with two, swallowing Crowley’s groan.

Not giving him much time to process what’s going on, he adds the third finger to prove his point, feeling Crowley’s entire body tense and then immediately melt against him.

“How about now?” he asks, letting their lips part.

“Fuck,” says Crowley, panting and squirming. There’s a drop of sweat running down the side of his throat and Aziraphale leans up to catch it with his lips. “Someone’s eager,” Crowley adds, his voice a little too weak for the full teasing effect.

“You have no idea,” Aziraphale admits, looking into his eyes.

“Ngk.” Crowley avoids his gaze as if it burns him. “You really are a slut,” he mutters, taking hold of Aziraphale’s cock and sliding off of his fingers.

The words sting for the briefest moment, but Aziraphale remembers that Crowley tends to say all kinds of things when he’s overwhelmed, so maybe he doesn’t really mean it.

“I’m your slut,” he replies with a playful smile to see if he manages to lighten the mood.

It has the opposite effect, it would seem, as Crowley’s eyes shoot back to his face to stare at him, his lips slightly parted.

“I think your true diabolical plan is to kill me.”

“We shall find out by Monday.”

At this, Crowley grins at him, and then his features sharpen in concentration as he raises on his knees, apparently ready for the next part.

“Crowley, dear, wait,” says Aziraphale, alarmed, searching for the bottle of lubricant with one hand and holding Crowley gently by the hip with the other.

“Yes, I know,” Crowley hisses impatiently, pretending he didn’t forget about slicking Aziraphale’s cock.

Definitely not in a mood to argue about who knows what, Aziraphale completes this task himself without a comment. Crowley doesn’t talk either as he finally sinks down onto Aziraphale’s cock, torturously slow and with maddening breaks, really, who’s trying to kill whom, again?

People often assume that Aziraphale has poor self-control, probably something to do with his admittedly hedonistic lifestyle. Generally speaking, he agrees. But he thinks he’s perfectly capable of reining himself in, perhaps with two exceptions – being pushed to his very limits and choosing to surrender his control if he feels safe doing so (he already did that with Crowley).

Focusing on his breathing and watching Crowley’s face for any signs of discomfort, he keeps as still as possible and allows him to move, and what moves they are―

Breathing deeply, admiring the view, staving off his orgasm, teasing Crowley’s nipples and cock – all within his capability.

“Fuck me,” Crowley groans, throwing his head back.

Aziraphale’s eyes wander along the lines of his white, exposed throat. He isn’t entirely sure if Crowley’s words were a request or just a figure of speech, but he decides there’s no harm in trying to find out, so he rocks up into Crowley with measured thrusts, unerringly hitting the prostate once they discover the perfect angle together, and is endlessly happy to hear Crowley – right above his head – spilling absolute filth with his tongue, and then swearing and calling out until he’s finally reduced to broken cries and whimpers.

Aziraphale feels him come, the muscles pulsing around his cock giving away Crowley’s uncharacteristically silent orgasm. He groans, fucking him through it gently, but eventually he has to help Crowley pull off, knowing that further stimulation would be unpleasant to him.

Crowley is boneless and sluggish in his arms and looks at him with such dazed, sex-stupid eyes that Aziraphale can’t help grinning just a tad smugly.

“Shut up,” Crowley mumbles as soon as he’s able to do more than panting.

Aziraphale obediently doesn’t talk, instead leaning up to kiss and lick at Crowley’s neck.

“Next time, I don’t want you to hold back,” says Crowley, touching Aziraphale’s face with a hand covered in streaks of semen.

“You really enjoy ‘marking’ me,” Aziraphale observes, sending him a knowing smile, still somewhat smug.

Crowley blinks at him until he seems to notice what he’s doing, and he bites his lip, as if caught. “Yes,” he admits, following that with a choked sound and resting his head on Aziraphale’s shoulder, his other hand reaching between them to caress Aziraphale’s cock with slow strokes.

Moaning softly, Aziraphale presses his face into Crowley’s hair, still wet from the shower, eyes closed.

“What’s in your basket?” Crowley asks and there is an edge to his voice, like he’s suddenly suspicious.

Aziraphale concentrates on the meaning behind words with difficulty. “Wine. Some cheese. Spare clothes, though it looks like I’m not going to need them.”

“Right.” Crowley grins, pointing at his own T-shirt, which belongs in the washing machine, and offers his come-stained fingers for Aziraphale to lick clean, which he sets to with a pleased sigh. “I think we could just spend those two days in the shower, really. Would save us time.”

Aziraphale makes an amused sound at the idea but is also delighted by the thought they still have almost two days of this. His throat throbs painfully, reminding him how exquisitely Crowley fucked it.

Mere minutes later he climaxes, moaning around the long fingers in his mouth.

[forgottenroderick]

OOC | Roderick & Amira

in the spirit of fleshing out interfamilial relationships where i play multiples, i wanted to dive in w this toxic mess too! so this is gonna focus on roderick's feelings re: amira and my plan is ultimately to reblog it from her site w her feelings re: him as well hahahah so! without further ado, let's get into this mess! if you wanna skip ahead to their current vibes [ here ]'s his pinterest board for amira! ;D

roderick's biggest feeling abt amira is that whole 'not like other girls' thing. amira keeps her emotions largely under lock and key, mostly just floating around giving off menacing vibes instead asdkjfkljdsf which roderick is like 'damn, nice' about basically bc #thatsthegoal he too wishes to be feared...unfortunately for everyone, he ~also wants to be admired (smth abt which amira couldn't give two figs but ill get more into that later) hence burning naysayers as witches basically lakjsdfkljdjfs however!! amira might be a witch (jury's out lkasdjfkljsdfj) but you must NEVER speak of that in roderick's hearing bc he's like I SEE NOTHING I DONT WANT TO always lksdjfakjlsdjf and if you bring this to his intention, instead of bringing his ire down on his queen it'll bring it down on ~you bc itd make him look bad to hate witches and then turn around and marry one so, like, to notice this inconsistency is frankly unpatriotic!!!!!!

but!!!! let's really dig into their interpersonal relationship!!!!! ok so roderick first met amira when she came bearing the head of the deposed god-king of kolchis out to him. she was quite young (im thinking she may have lied abt her age at first bc like...roderick is a creep in a lot of ways but not quite ~that one...like, don't get me wrong, 16??? we're talking aksldjfkljdsf like, he ~is a creep, but under 16 even ~he is like 'that's a literal child' but amira's ambitions weren't gonna be held back by a couple years!!!!! bc this was her moment and if she didnt ensnare him then she never would bc ngl roderick ~can be a lil goldfish-like this way -- he's got a loT of beautiful women tryna get his attention yknow aldksjfkldsjf), but i mean look at her she's a stunner, and she wasn't afraid of gore (obv laksjdfkljdsf she was literally carrying around a head on likely a silver tray bc why not ;D stylish AND convenient alksdjfkljsdjfk judith meets salome style ig aklsdjfkjdsjf), which deF shocked him at first no lie!!!!! like women are supposed to faint at the sight of blood!!!!! but she was def rocking that bad girl chic (it ~is her thing laksdjfkljdsf) and being perceived as a conquering hero and feted by the ppl who he'd conquered was!!!!! fun!!!!!! ngl i think he's still chasing that high!!!!

roderick does ~generally go for the good girl archetype, i think, but when he first saw her he def wasn't thinking he'd ever take another wife! he was thinking...that looks like a fun fling!!! (before he had multiple wives, he def took mistresses when he wasn't w his wife bc he was off campaigning etc, tho he was v discreet abt it and idk how widely that's known or not? im down w whatever works best for plots re: that, if we ever wanna explore it hahaha he's also def of that medieval belief that you can't sleep w a pregnant woman bc she and the baby might die!!!!! but ~he can't go without ofc soooo anything goes and def doesn't count as cheating!!!!! bc he's just being a good guy protecting his wife and kid!!!! lakjsdfkljdsjf and same kinda goes if he's away from his family on campaign or whatever for a prolonged period!!!!! *facepalm*)

anyway!!!! he meets her this way and he def thinks she'd be fun for a weekend or whatever, but she's like 'no, sir, im a lady' *looks directly into the camera but roderick doesn't notice* and we all know roderick enjoys a good conquest so this was frankly working really well!!!!! he was like 'have jewels!!! have money!!!!!' and eventually 'ill make you my official mistress! my wife can deaL' and she was like 'oh but i cannot for i am the priestess of calainon, and i cannot unless we are wed' anne boleyn style and THIS is when things change for roderick bc of that one lil word: CALAINON. i've already discussed roderick's feelings abt intertwining his legacy w that of the great calainon and now he can do that in a v LITERAL way and while he's mulling this over, but to his credit, he's unwilling to abandon his og wife, even tho he is pr frustrated that there's, as yet, no heir and there's a literal PROMISE of kids from amira re: the prophecy that the line of calainon will last until the ending of the world (too bad godfrey has plans to bring about that v ending #whoops ;DDDD)

finally perceiving that roderick won't be putting aside the og wife, tho (amira: sigh), amira one day whispers, 'oh, my love, if only it were like the days of yore when a man could take multiple wives...' and roderick suddenly has a thought entirely his own that amira def did not place there ;DDDD anyway, we all know how this goes!!!! (also like...damn...imaginie being wife #1, and i def think roderick wanted her to be present/have a role in the wedding ceremony, too, in order to showcase how they were all one big happy family, and you just know!!!!!!! that had to be like just sm fun for her!!!!! </3 esp bc ~she probs saw quite clearly that amira was a snake in the grass)

so more abt this on her side, but up until the wedding, amira has def been toeing this line between sultry and [ untouchable ] w a heaping topping of godly (when roderick invaded she had this revelation, you guys, that the fire was actually to celebrate the one god of roderick and she was really ~his priestess all along!!! ;DDD) but now they're married and amira doesn't feel quite so constrained tho she does NOT like that the empress has more status than ~she as the primary wife and she deffff wants to have a boy right quickly so that she can cement her position as the undoubted mother of the next emperor!!!! roderick for his part didn't care which wife gave him a son, first, he just wanted one!!! however, w amira hiding her true nature less, it starts to bleed through and over time roderick begins to learn that she isn't in love w him at all, tho she keeps up the pretense, in her way, even now

now, as i said before, roderick here likes to be admired!!!! and, bizarrely, this is really working for him bc he also likes to conquer and it just...it gets all kinds of toxic. he loves her. he hates her, too. he wishes she would die. he craves her heart. she is too cold for a woman, too cold to be anything but respected, tho. and he still wants her. and sometimes he even thinks, as he used to, that perhaps she ~does love him, only to discover again that she does not. they fight and they fuck and they fight again and while this goes on, the empress gets weaker and weaker, and there's still no son from either of them!

enter marian. this is when things get real, honestly. before now they've been doing this weird toxic dance, but amira was secure in knowing she had her claws in him. she was still his new, shiny toy. now, she realizes she's lost that. and, slowly, he sees her see that. i think, after marrying again, roderick really perceives the real amira for the first time, and part of him sees this dark reflection of himself: that ruthless ambition, stripped of all the trappings he adorns his with to make it more palatable to his woldview: she's just ragged hunger, and deep down he understands that. and he detests it. but he can't put it away from himself either bc it tugs at smth dark inside himself, and strangely he trusts her more now bc he finally gets her, finally gets what's really driving her, and its what's driving him, too. they're both just scared kids that know what its like to be trampled and powerless, and will do whatever it takes never to be that way again. but worst of all, he knows that she can see that in him, too. so he can never let her go: never let her unleash that knowledge upon the world. so now they can really work together. and now they can really hurt e/o. and they do.

as ive discussed before, i do think that, when arthur was born, roderick was like 'ah yes at last my heir!' but amira changed all of that! amira never forgot that the empress had precedence over ~her as the first wife and like hell she was gonna let anyone forget that the same applied to amira and marian! ~her son was to the heir!!! and roderick is fine w this: let the women squabble for his favor. this suits him just fine!! he doesn't yet see his sons as threats to his own situation or greatness bc they're still little, but that'll come as they hit they're teenage years don't worry! lkajsdkfjdsfh and then his empress dies and everything changes. bc the whole world revolves around roderick, and bc she's been deteriorating since the moment he married amira, roderick is sure that her death is ~his fault (and he's not entirely wrong since he did bring the person who poisoned her into contact w her while also furnishing that person w a motive ~to poison her!) and he is inconsolable. i feel like for two weeks he locked himself in his room and would do nothing but carry his lil daughter around and promising her the whole world

but smth else happened, too: during the empress' final illness, roderick saw a side of amira he'd never seen before as she tenderly nursemaided the empress, never leaving her alone for a moment even as she grew worse and worse and worse. he'd never seen tenderness in amira, save a smidge towards their son in his infancy, insisting on wetnursing him herself and always attending v faithfully to all his meals and such!! and roderick found that, despite her failure to save the empress, he was grateful to amira for what she'd done! or at least (seemingly) tried to do! smth that, coupled w his guilt, bound him to her.

ofc, the marked favoritism he then showed to guin certainly did amira's peace of mind no favors, and she'd pick at him, but his laugh was a dead thing, and he'd just tuck a curl behind his daughter's ear and tell amira over his shoulder to see to her own son and leave him to his daughter and chuckle dryly as she stood in all her towering fury knowing she was dismissed and that he'd call for the guards to escort a hysterical woman to her chambers if she persisted any longer.

ofc the first fervor of the empress' loss did wear off, and we've discussed at length roderick's wonderful parenting skills. their relationship has ebbed and flowed largely w his relationship w edmund, esp since -- now that he understands her ambition is his own -- he knows edmund is a chip he can use to hurt and maneuver her as much as she knows this same abt him. she will always advocate for her boy and he can show his approval to ~her, even, by showing it to edmund, or simply by denying it to guin or arthur -- and his lack thereof in the same way.

i do think, like i said, he still sees amira as ~not like other women~ so if he had to pick a queen to serve as regent (not that he ever would tbqh!!!), itd probs be amira from the fact that he trusts to her logic and to her ambition...however!! he likewise does not trust amira since he knows she serves her own ends not ~his, but does trust that marian would do precisely what he asked. this is def a moot point tho bc lbr the only ppl he'd trust w this would be bartholomew or alaric, but here we are! my general point is that he does sort of see amira ~as her own thing~ but tbh im not sure that does her too many favors all the time bc she's def a curiosity -- less than a man, more than a woman, smth which i think he largely attributes to her calainon heritage so yeah!! lakjsdfjkldsf this has been an examination of roderick's relationship w amira lkajsdfkjdsf there's more but this covers the general stuff lkfasdjfkljsdkjf

he does see her brothers as entirely loyal to himself, as sensible men, but its no secret that they're all team edmund (tbh i think tristan is more team: lets just prevent a civil war and keep my nephew safe and happy and not force him to go to war w his own siblings, but roderick just assumes an edmund-for-emperor bias), but yeah that's a whole other thing and def way less important bc those're just sort of ancillary reltionaships to his ones w amira and edmund, from his own pov

there is just one thing left to say, and that's that...roderick loved her, he did, and now he knows she never loved him and...they understand e/o in a way no one else does, but...he's sad and bitter bc he wanted her love, even if he just lost it, he wanted it bc he loved her, and he hates that he was the weak one and ~she the conqueror and that causes all sorts of chaotic undercurrents and subtext, both trying to steal her heart at one moment and tryna punish her another as well as a thousand little daggers and sadnesses and bitterness and pleading and storming and yeahhh toxic!!!! its just toxic lakjsdfkljdsjf

[libroseitm]

15 QUESTIONS FOR 15 FRIENDS

Tagged by @gentlebeardsbarngrill

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

Yes! Queen Elizabeth the first. Though my name is spelled with an s, not a z.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

I have NO idea (thanks time blindness) it was probably very recently because I cry at everything and from every emotion, even happiness :'D

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

Yep, one!

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?

I do Karate, does that count?

DO YOU USE SARCASM?

Yes, but I don't always understand when it's being used because AuDHD.

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

Always they're general vibe, if that makes sense? I could get on with someone perfectly on paper, but they don't have the ~vibe~ then it's not going to work out.

WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOUR?

Blue/grey. They're getting more grey as I age.

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

Oh god happy endings all the way. I'm scared of SO many things and have loads of intrusive thoughts so I absolutely cannot deal with scary movies.

ANY TALENTS?

Drawing, playing ukulele/singing and reading allowed (narrating) are the things I'm best at!

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

Warwick

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

Oh dear. I have so many. My hobby is having hobbies. Strap in.

Drawing, Playing ukulele, Sewing, Jigsaw puzzles, Writing, Creating audiobooks, Learning about clouds, Boardgaming, Creating a boardgame, Playing on my switch, Crafts, Reading fanfiction, cosplay, learning Swiss German, and many moooooore~

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

No! I would love a reptile of some kind. However, adopting is the only option I'd be interested in, but reptiles aren't often up for adoption and I would want them to be as comfy and happy as possible which means taking up waaaaay too much room in our house.

HOW TALL ARE YOU?

I'm a small lil guy at 5"2 :-)

FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?

I thought I'd hate it cus I'm not a big reader, but it ended up being English literature! Loved creative writing too!

DREAM JOB?

Being an artist is #1, doing audiobooks/voice acting is #2. Cheeky link to my redbubble and etsy

ZERO pressure tags:

I know many of you will have already been tagged but here, have another! Take zero pressure seriously, it says "friends" and I'm solely tagging because ya'll are my friends :)

@impossiblebird @spirker @nuka @lamentus1 @waterychilli @merryfinches @venusdebotticelli @eibon-cloud

That's only 8. I do not have a good enough memory to tag 15 whole people. If you're my friend on here, you know who you are, consider yourself tagged!

[lurkingteapot]

Tokyo in April is … 4月の東京は… Ep 5

Once again this show has me in a chokehold for the entire 25 minutes of its run, and I'm already feeling like a fool for watching this ASAP because now I have to wait another whole week. AAAAH.

Thoughts and commentary under the cut.

was that Kazuma's mum then??

oh fuck I HATE Sanada, what an ass. and there's so many Sanadas out there

have we heared Maeda Ayumi's name before? also nice typo in that url

that café is so cute, god I miss being able to go to cute cafés

fuck fuck fuck of course it was something like that

and of course there's no evidence god I HATE this for them

fuck fuck fuck fuck this dude is a serial rapist and the higher-ups just ignore it

Ren's sense of justice and guilt is not going to let him let that lie, and it's all going to blow up in their facesssss

are you going to talk to your not-boyfriend about this, Ren? of course you're not. But you should.

!!! at least there's one person he can confide in and trust, goddd

this show is talking about the importance of coming forward while being careful and understanding of victims who don't want to deal with that, I'm really impressed with how they're handling it so far tbh

perspective switch! nice, I like that we're getting more on Ren this way.

aaaah so he and Yagami go way back? that's good to know, I'm glad he stuck around.

oh the poor baby, oh ffffff

oh no, is this where we learn why Ren can't stand Hide and the other classmates anymore?

god these domestic texts I CANNOT ("it cooked down nicely. around what time are you going to be back?") and god I want some of that stew

Ren, I hate to break it to you, but the way to make this stick will not take a miracle or divine intervention, but it WILL probably include having to talk about your feelings and assumptions. WITH Kazuma.

THE SHOES THE DOMESTICITY I CANNOT, help

I DID wonder how he was getting away with dressing the way he does

THE MANGA PANELLING ON THESE god, GOD, I guess I'll have to figure out bookwalker after all

d o m e s t i c i t y I'm chewing glass

uh-oh, that single pair of shoes has foreshadowing vibes

yikes

WHAT A CLIFFHANGER, holy SHIT, what do you mean I have to wait a WEEK?! (I know I could read the manga but I SHAN'T)

[bogkeep]

How would you describe your experience with being half Czech and half Norwegian? Really curious cus I never see alot of osmosis between nordic and slavic countries.

oh boy that's a really big question that's pretty difficult to answer! this is kind of a major part of my life and identity and not really possible to crystallize into a concise point, since it's just... my whole life :')

one part of this is just the experience of not fully belonging to one place and culture, of being caught inbetween, which is something a lot of people all over the world understand and relate to, i think. this might sound niche but i have a fondness for graphic novels about coming of age where the protagonist is is the child of immigrants and has to navigate their way through honoring their heritage and fitting in with the culture they live in at the same time. maybe this sounds dramatic for someone who belongs to two european countries that are only 2-3 days of driving apart, but that's my truth haha.

another part is the more specific differences between czechia and norway as countries and cultures with different language families, which is something i can talk about at length, for sure, but like... every place has its differences, even two towns in the same country. sometimes it's difficult to know what's a real difference between two places and what's just differing personal experiences.

some things:

- one of the most iconic christmas movie that plays in norway is Three Wishes for Cinderella, a czech made cinderella adaptation (tři oříšky pro popelku). the version that plays in norway has been dubbed over by the same voice, a method referred to as russian dubbing. this movie is so iconic and beloved they have done a remaster of it, making it crisper and more colorful, but they cannot make a better dub or the people of norway would revolt. for a while i had no idea this was such a big deal, because i would spend every christmas on czech, and for me, cinderella was just one of many fairytale movies. my grandfather would always tape the fairytale adaptations on VHS and would get me to watch them when i visited for the summer. it took me a while to get into any of them, since i vastly preferred cartoons over live action TV (i have many fond memories of czech cartoons. víla amálka, rumcajs, rákosníček, krteček, lots of classics), but i enjoyed a lot of them eventually. i think the first one i liked was one called Nebojsa, about a guy who feels no fear. my eventual favourites would become Král Sokolů (the king of falcons) and S Čerti Nejsou Žerty (give the devil his due) - the latter becoming a christmas movie For Me.

- a big difference between norway and czech, culturally, is politeness conventions. norway is very informal and introverted, more first name basis than last names - in fact, i don't know the last names of any teachers i had at school except for ones i've found on facebook. i used to spend a couple months every year of grades 1 - 5 in czechia, to go to school there and practice the language. not only was school more advanced and stricter, but i'm pretty sure i was supposed to refer to teachers as Mr or Ms Last Name and i did not know this. i apparently caused quite a ruckus in first grade, but i only have my family's word for it. i remember almost nothing of my time in czech first grade except crying on my first day because i was so overwhelmed. another thing i did not realise until i was a teen was that when talking to strangers or people Of Respect, you refer to them with a Plural You until you've reached enough familiarity to switch to Singular You. it's accepted for kids to refer to everyone with the singular - same vibe as referring to every familiar adult woman as your auntie - but i've made quite a fool of myself multiple times calling cashiers and waitresses by singular you when outside of the Acceptable Age Slot. if it sounds like an autism nightmare that's because it is :'D

- i think every person in europe has been to prague at some point. every person i tell i'm half czech to tells me they've been to prague. it's a pretty city though! check out the astronomical clock

- there is a small community of czech and slovakian immigrants in my norwegian hometown. obviously it's not Every Czech Person in town, i've run into a lot of czech speaking people at random every now and then, but yeah! i think the biggest community event that gets arranged every year is Mikuláš in december. it's very reminiscent of Krampus celebrations. essentially kids are expected to perform a song or poem in front of st. Nicholas, an angel and a devil (that's the krampus in this instance), and then they get evaluated and told if they've been Good or Bad this year before being given candy (with a piece of coal or potato in it because everyone is a Little naughty sometimes). after growing out of being one of the children, i've contributed by playing the devil or the angel a couple times each.

for some reason there's a lot of people from the czech community in the historical archery club my mom and i are both part of. we actually have a lot of immigrant members, so for something so viking aesthetically coded it ends up being a fairly multicultural experience!

[eldritchmochi]

Word prompt for the letters! SWORD TIME

mina pls that is so many letters lmao

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

okay, if it is not obvious, i have thought SO MUCH about disability in exandria, so heres a general worldbuilding headcannon vs character based hc but it's shown that disability isn't overly impactful in exandria. basically everything we've seen ranging from pcs like shakaste to big npcs like dancer and also smaller one off pcs like the moorbounder dealer in the city of beasts, whatever the name is, they're fully functional within society despite major physical disabilities and theres functionally not a whole lot of ableism at a surface level when it comes to worldbuilding (thanks matt).

however..... its not hard (for me) to extrapolate how the dynasty in particular would have a not great view on disability (thank u cherry for putting it into words as i was charlie day-ing over coping skills early on). it's not something that i talk about explicitly in coping skills (and may not since it would be really info dumpy and not vibe with the way i write or characterize the wizards lmao) but it's something ive spent a great deal of time thinking thru for the dang fic and my in-head notes are basically a) in a modern setting like coping skills, the healthcare situation moves at a glacial pace partly because elves live forever so what is a several year wait for a non emergent specialist issue and b) major disabilities, things that impact daily living to a significant degree that cannot be "fixed" with magic, are at best really only tolerated until anamnesis or consecution so the body can be reset into a more perfect form

i could wax poetic about the nitty gritty as it relates to coping skills specifically, but that is like, the base premise of 90% of the fic lmao

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

okay so, heres the thing: with the exception of a few squicks, if something is well written with some fukken *heart* i will eat up just about anything. theres some tropes i don't really get myself and haven't found anything with it that's interested me, like hanahaki, but i have fav fics involving things i notoriously avoid, like kid fic and hs aus. like legitimately, my absolute fav fic is a non explicit hs au, which considering i basically dont read non explicit fics OR hs aus is fucking wild

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

lets see, i did one here for an ashrym fic, and one here for general shadowgast so lets go with a single character, and a delightfully weird song for her

obviously imogen, again, because its funny. do not ask me why spotify recommended this german edm country album to me a bit ago but i listened to the whole thing and it fucking slapped, and this song immediately went on my hells playlist

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

I AM ONLY DOING ONE BECAUSE I DONT TRUST YOU MINA (ilu but also damn many letters lmao)

but callowmoore is just chefs kiss. i don't see anything necessarily romantic between them but i love the idea of the two of them bonding over being absolute gremlins. ashton definitely needs a charismatic wingman and fearne definitely needs someone who has (some level of) smarts re Doing Crimes, so the two of them playing off each other is just delightful and i love how soft they are with each other in cannon and in turn all the fanart (especially the forehead kiss???? im still not normal about that)

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.

hmmmmmmmmmmm okay i guess maybe reylo? the rots kiss was absolute garbage rey deserves better BUT i am in theory into her domming the shit out of him but reylo shippers as a whole soured me on the ship and now i just hhhh no thank you, even from authors i trust to write it in a way i'd enjoy :C

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? 

T answered here! (basically no lmao)

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

homestuck :I like part of it was definitely the Fandom Cycle of falling out if interest with something, especially once there stopped being new cannon i could access but a bigger part of it was seeing all my fav artists and writers in the fandoms, particularly the ones 30+, PARTICULARLY Black artist, being absolutely shat on by kids for the crime of... being adults in fandom spaces basically, or otherwise creating fanworks that featured non-white, non-thin depictions of the characters. i live vicariously thru @/roundandtalented when they spam share hs art because i still love those characters but yeesh ye olde tumblr hs fandom got VERY toxic

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

answered once here with ashton and here with astarion so i guess i gotta keep the train going with "a" name characters

hmmmmmmmmmm

okay lets say abby from ncis (i have watched Many crime procedurals lmao). i imagine she and i would be GREAT fashion buddies, especially when i'm bubblegum pop kawaii to her scary goth. we could swap tips on breaking in big stompy boots and all the best places for cute clothes, and i think we're fairly close in size too so could even SWAP gasp The Dream

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

god i do not know if fandom as a whole has picked up on any of the various things i've built in my fics but tbh i think its absolutely hilarious how i inevitably write a porn/camming au for like every fandom i write multiple fics for. it happens, every single time. EVERY TIME. in fact, mine and cherry's sg camming au started with me lampshading this trend i have, laughing about how FINALLY here was a fandom where i couldn't write camming and make it work, except whoops i thought too hard on it and made it work. this occurred over the course of like..... a single evening. i had the basic outline sketched out within twenty minutes of me being like "theres no way i could write camming into critical role, NO WAY" i am not even exaggerating

so i guess maybe my hilarious contribution to critical role is the contemporary magical setting proof-of-concept???? cherry did say there werent really that many at the time i asked because i lov me some modern aus

there are maybe some letters left idk at this point lmao but here is the meme for those of u who made it thru all that

[7ndipity]

❣ Who is your favorite Kpop group?❣

My favourite and really only group is BTS. My sisters a big fan and introduced me to them. They got me on their personalities which I got to know through Run and then I learned some songs. I still watch and read more than I actually listen 😂

❣ Which member sparked your interest first?

Okay I will be 100% honest and it's Tae. He's sooooo pretty. That's what got me first. I could also say Namjoon, simply because he was the first person I recognised and knew by face and name.

❣ Who was your first bias?

This would surprise no one after the last question, but Tae was my first bias. Also simply because he is so godsdamned pretty. Like I can't even express in any way I know how how pretty this man is en how much I would not he able to look at him because of this too.

❣ Who is your current bias?

It's still Tae, although it is an on going battle between him & Yoongi.

❣ What makes them your bias?

Again, at first his looks, but his personality is awesome as well. He's funny and just so cool and stylish and basically everything I hope to be too. Except funny. I know I'm not funny. Only unintentionally, but I don't count that as I don't mean to be funny then 😂 at first I could see myself in him, and that's what attracted me. I was depressed as shit, and here was a person who I thought was like me, and others liked him! That meant that at least my personality is likeable to other people too. I don't think this anymore, and I also don't think our personalities are similar anymore, but I do still like his.

❣ Who is your bias wrecker?

I have hinted at this before. Yoongi is my absolute bias wrecker. Kind of. I also kind of don't really believe in biases and they kind of make me feel guilty for liking someone best. I have settled on Yoongi & Tae being my bias and everyone else as my bias wrecker. But for the sake of these questions, I will leave my personal believe out of it, especially since this is really how it went in the beginning.

Anyway! I first fell for Tae cause of his looks, but Yoongi was the first personality that attracted me. I liked his no bs life style as I am very direct and I hate bs or people not communicating and such. It's such a bother and he was not like that. He was also very pretty, of course, and also just very soft? I got the vibes that this man would treasure me and take care of me and not even necessarily in a romantic or sexual way. I would've been just as happy being his sibling or friend or whatever. I then went back to Tae for a while because of the recognition I got from his personality. Later I realised we weren't all that similar, but that I was to Yoongi. We've got differences, but I feel like our personalities would match very well and he'd make a great person in your life regardless of how.

❣ Which member(s) are you currently obsessing over that aren't your bias/bias wrecker?

Like every other one? Is that an answer? There's always something I see or read or hear or watch that makes me like them or that reminds me of something or that inspires me to do or maybe change in my life? Idk I honestly just like everyone.

Oh and also IU

And Sungha Jung. He's a guitarist and amazing.

❣ Have you ever been to one of their concerts?

I have not, and unfortunately due to health stuff and such I'm not sure I'll be able to go. I have seen I think all of their online concerts. If I ever went, it'd be with my sister and I would definitely risk getting a crash from the concert. I kind of decided concerts aren't worth the crashes anymore, but BTS might definitely be an exception. And maybe the rose, but idk.

❣ What are some of your favorite songs by the group?

Oooffff I love Anpanman and Mic Drop. I also like Spring Day but I never listen to it. Its bringing me back to all the videos of the students I saw, and I cannot deal. So out of self preservation I don't listen to it.

Another one I rarely skip is August D's version of Life goes on, and Louder than bombs. I can't really think of many else right now?

I also feel very very bad about this, but I love basically everything Tae puts out? Our interests and hobbies and such are very alike and he's just the epitome of the exact type of music I like.

💜💜💜

[izzythefox]

aftg x barbie (hear me out)

in honor of the barbie 2023 movie i’ve been marathoning the early/mid 2000’s classics (swan lake, princess & the pauper, iykyk) and naturally i started thinking, what if we made it aftg? O_o

now i cannot write for the life of me so this is just a collection of ideas and headcanons - if there are any other early barbie turned aftg fans, this one's for you

Magic of Pegasus AU

MoP is such an underrated film, its one of the only ones where the main couple doesn’t immediately fall for each other so all the banter and the sass is -immaculate-

the hardest part in casting this one was figuring out who’s gonna be the horse… like someone’s gotta do it. first i thought andrew & aaron as annika & brietta for the twinyard solidarity but neil gives me such annika vibes - i will elaborate - so kevin, sweet prince, its time for u to sprout some wings

So we have Neil as the prince, master figure skater that i’ve now decided he is, goes into town where he’s propositioned by Riko, evil/bastard sorcerer, that if he doesn’t marry him in 3 days everyone in the kingdom is forever turned to stone. alas, he’s rescued by the mysterious stallion that is kevin (im so sorry to the kevin stans out there) to bring him to Cloud Kingdom as a refuge. like in the movie, we find out kevin was once offered the same deal from riko, only when he refused, he was turned into a horse :/

idk if allison or dan would be the cloud queen, they both could fit the role tbh, and maybe matt & renee are their knights? (i’m imagining renee as this valkyrie-type warrior, she’s just so cool)

Cloud Queen, let's say Allison, tells Neil about building the wand of light to break the spell and I can just imagine his face

Allison: Yeah, there’s this legend of a wand, we don’t know if it’s real, and you just have to find a measure of courage, ring of love, and gem of ice lit by hopes eternal flame :D

Neil: you want me to do what

but at his core, he wants to protect his people so ofc he’s gonna do it. Neil & Kevin set off for the Forbidden Forest where in comes Andrew as Aidan. when i tell you annika and aidan are so andreil-coded, like the script literally writes itself!!!

*for context, Neil & Kevin got caught in a rope trap*

Andrew: Tell me, who’s bright idea was it to come to here? Only fools come to the Forbidden Forest.

Neil: And yet, you’re here. :)))))

LIKE CMONNNN neil would absolutely antagonize the very person who clearly has the advantage, it just works.

the whole scene with neil in the giant’s hut outsmarting ollie by taunting him to chain himself to a tree and break free, it fits so well and just to see andrew’s reaction at the end, (”you’re braver than i thought…”) yessir

they recruit andrew, as he’s a blacksmith, to later put the wand together and the parallels in their relationship, the whole thing about needing a second chance to set things right - chef’s kiss.

we can skip over some of the middle plot, there’s a lot of traveling and banter that i could probably talk about all day but cut to the scene where they finally assemble the wand and reverse the spell on Kevin, can u picture for me:

Andrew: That looks good on you, Kevin.

Kevin: Shut up.

thank you.

it gets real juicy from here, once Neil & Kevin and Andrew dramatically part ways (he really doesn’t want to leave them on their own) Riko comes back around for the attack. they fall into the ravine, neil is fucking -pissed- bc no one hurts Kevin like that again and orders the wand to destroy Riko but, gasp, it doesnt work?? neil is desperate at this point, he says fine Riko i’ll marry you but Riko is all bitch you just tried to kill me, how about I just kill you…and buries him under an avalanche

the angst, the beautiful angst of Andrew coming back in on Kevin alone in the ravine because where is neil? this snarky prince who gets under his skin but is also so smart and understands him? they dig neil out from where riko trapped him under an avalanche and just.. “I never should’ve left you”. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

when they’re back in the cloud kingdom and neil is still unconscious:

Andrew, internally: Please wake up, please. I need you.

check me into the ward rn bc i am unheathily obsessed with this.

Neil wakes up, but lo and behold its sunset on the third day. Renee, matt, and dan try to prolong the sunset for neil bc now these are also his people and they’re not gonna let him suffer. We get a fun scene with neil and andrew ice skating their way through Riko’s big mountain, palace, thing.. even in the movie they just love one-upping each other.

we get to the climax where neil has recovered the ‘broken’ wand from Riko’s lair but the gem falls off the cliff (neil would never fumble like that but for the sake of plot, i digress). enter andrew with the second gem he secretly took earlier!! because he’s willing to give up his second chance to make sure neil gets his!!! they undo all of Riko’s spells and cue the very barbie-esque speech that the wand can only work out of love, never hate <3

Neil returns the wand to the Cloud Kingdom for safe keeping and u know, that blacksmith from earlier seems to be real fond of forever staying by his side~

This has gotten pretty long now that i go back thru it lol and this may be for a very niche audience- i’m not sure if i’ve seen any aftg MoP au’s but i just love the concept and merging my old hyperfixations with new ones has been super fun

i would share more of these with other barbie movies but i’m also kinda new to this so lmk which ones were ur favorite or what u think!

[dirtyoldmanhole]

so while it is true that you cannot "technically" support gunter in revelation ...

you can, however, wander over thisaway ~

oho, what's this?

:D

anyway, let's talk gunter's C support, shall we ~

(under a cut for length of the post/images. mostly meta!)

fun fact: did you know if you're looking at past support logs in a different route, your avatar name will update to whatever is your current name? (Corrin is so much her own person / personality it didn't make sense to do "krad" there, tbh.)

anyway, in the slowburn fic, this hits right before Fort Jinya.

(it should be said i'm not writing 1:1 supports or scenes, that'd be boring as hell. but sharp eyes are going to grin and know exactly what scenes I'm riffing off of, vibe-wise.)

there's a shippy headcanon for reasons(tm) I have of him avoiding Corrin after they come back from the bottomless canyon the first time. (tl;dr chemistry and denial lul~~~)

but even disregarding that, it's kind of cute that corrin goes to check on him, and evidentially keeps an eye on him. ;_____;

they keep talking about memories; ime it's also really well done/relevant that so many of their scenes are about that reoccuring theme, when you consider what a big deal "memory" is to Corrin, and what she's been robbed of.

Gunter: It's seen better days, but it's still in pretty good condition, don't you think? Corrin: It really is; I'm impressed. I didn't realize that you'd kept it after all this time.

Gunter: We played so many games of catch with it. Corrin: It really does stir up all those old memories. Gunter: How does a round of catch sound to you? For old times' sake. Corrin: I'd love to! Gunter: Excellent. I have a few tasks to deal with today, but we'll play sometime soon? Corrin: I look forward to it.

(god, gunter, you are so sentimental and it's feelsy as hell ;___; how the hell did he manage to keep that ball with him all the while falling down the literal bottomless canyon? )

anyway

it wasn't until i started writing Corrin's horrific mind wipe ordeal(s) that i started realizing Gunter was kind of a fucking genius for starting their whole game of catch. I'll go into this more in the B-A support, but in addition to the game being a gentle "carrot" method of getting young!Corrin to cooperate that set him apart from Garon's punshiments (eg, not stepping on her triggers), it's kind of like physical/trauma therapy for a kid that doesn't feel like therapy.

idunno about y'all but i've spent Way Too Much time in a similar situation in a similar time span. it ain't fun! at all! you got these scary adults in a scary new situation and everything hurts from poking and prodding and you just want to go home and they keep wanting you to do weird random shit like walking in loops or parallel bars or other shit.

(obviously in hindsight it makes sense, but you get a scrambled kid in a new scary situation, and they usually end up having meltdowns, for good reason.)

something familiar, that feels concretely like play, and is very clearly a routine for both of them with a set goal/reward, is something almost literally out of a textbook to help her recovery. caretaker daddy here has a galaxy brain considering he hasn't been trained for this shit at all, kudos to him ~

(... of course, a lovely piece of fridge horror is that it gets way sadder when you realize he's probably cobbled together most of this knowledge from raising his own kids. who are. you know. now dead.)

(y e a h)

[nerdyenby]

Green time :D I’m watching Ranboo

 So excited for Ranboo and H team y’all have no idea

“They put her in goddamn trans world, it was amazing!! So I… am, of course,… dressing up as Spider-Gwen… because I am straight” MY STREAMER IS CISHET :D

I too made across the spiderverse my entire personality after seeing it, so real

Guqqie painted their nails <333

“I can climb up walls and be transgender, but I can’t- I cannot pull up a suit” this is how they officially come out, I’m dying

Ran thinking the music was an auditory hallucination 😭

“Anxiety. I have it.” is all I heard lmao

“I’m spider!!” “like spiderman?” “No >:|” the freaking gender on display lmao

I’m sick too!!! We’re all so cool

I was about to get on to Ranboo for talking bad about bm but H beat me to it lol

Buildmart

I can’t tell if this team has talked a good amount or if this is their first time in call together lmao (probably the latter tbh)

I’m so down for these vibes, just calm confusion, absolutely elite <333

“Don’t be afraid to ask things” H is such a good teammate I love him so much

5th!!! They popped off!!!!!

“Hopefully the rest are no brain” Lily 😂

The greenest geckos!!! I love her!!

Ranboo just freaking choking when Sykkuno complimented genloss

Ranboo standing there clueless what to do or say when H is muted

Bingo

“Wait… I lied” “HOW DARE YOU?!??” This is exactly what I needed from this duo, thank you <3

Ran just running around breaking people’s crafting tables and cackling

“How are we all feeling?” “aaaaaaaaaaaaaa” “I’m stressed” I love this team

“No more thinky games”

TGTTOSAWAF

“This one’s an absolute poop fiesta” Sykkuno 😭😭😭

H giving Lily a piggyback ride my beloved <333

Ran accidentally turning on their narrator in the fall guys map 😂

Everyone laughing at Lily stepping on the pressure plate and getting launched

“Ranboo, I don’t mean to flex but I’m two points better than you, no big deal” “It’s fine, I’m not bad about it, I’m not mad about it” “it seems like you’re kinda mad about it” them!!!

H being so proud of his hermits <33

Parkour Tag

“Wait a minute, this looks um….” “… yeah Sykkuno, what does it look?” “Use your words” YOU CAN SAY GAY THIS ISNT FLORIDA

H getting in on the homophobia bit only for Ran to turn it on him and just “uh… uh…. uh…. I think I can hunt the first round” 😂

Ranboo is having so much fun being the token queer on this team

RAN CRUSHED IT HELLO?????

Sykkuno mvp!!!

They’re killing it!!!!

H hyping everyone up <333

If Sykkuno surviving three four five consecutive rounds doesn’t make the top ten plays I’m gonna lose it

SYKKUNO IS INSANE WHAT THE HECK?!??

“Love ya babes x” Glowduo my beloved <3333

H and Ran intersecting and exchanging “How do”s :))

GREEN POPPED OFF!!!!

“Lily, how are you liking your first event?” “I’m buying a green geckos t-shirt right now!!”

“I’ve won too much, unfortunately” “I am going to name… a haybale after you… and burn it” this is exactly the energy I wanted from H and Ran :))

Ranboo and H gonna be the cause of a new stat breakdown, see y’all in two hours

Ace Race

The vod is muted I’m crying

They did well!! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!!!

Transboo my beloved <333

Sands of Time

SANDKEEPER H RAAAAAAHHHHH

H, how’s the timer?? How’s the timer, H???

This is so painful

OH MY GOODNESS LMAO

Meltdown

Lily and Sykkuno just being absolutely silent while H and Ranboo bicker in the tone you would discipline a pet with 😂

Round two started and they all jolted awake lmao

WHAT JUST HAPPENED /pos

Ran went rabid, good for them!!!!

RAN OPENING THEIR INVENTORY MIDCOMBAT THEN GETTING A QUAD KILL?!????

They’re popping off!!!!

4TH!!!!!

Battle box

Lily carry!!

That aqua rush was terrifying but the countered it perfectly!!!

Ran’s keyboard is so loud 😭😭😭

Guys it’s fine, attempts were made and fun was had

Can’t believe antfrost got tickled to death, fat rip

NOT LAST!!!!!

Lily and Sykkuno holding hands on the individual leaderboard my beloved (don’t look at where they are, all that matters is that they’re together <3)

Dodgebolt

Sykkuno saying the event is rigged in Scott’s favor and him immediately falling off the map 😂

“Surely, surely” “… Temple” me too HBomb

WHY ARE ME AND H ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH?!?? He’s very adhd today (I don’t know if he actually has adhd)

Them all frantically switching to purple merch lmao

DO IT FOR THE GECKOS!!!!

I CANT BELIEVE GREEN WON!!!!!

H bullying Ranboo for not being able to win a 20v20 😂😂😂

Not one, not two, but three dodgebolts

“We should refer to each other by our numbers” this is like the twitch leaks all over again lmao

“Wow, that was a really good way to not get either of them” the SLANDER lmao

This devolved into an auction so fast, I’m losing my mind /pos

[lunaslovelyrambles]

hiii! can i ask for jjk characters turning into babies for a day (maybe they were cursed or smth)

imagine reader having to make sure itadori doesnt eat mud or stopping tiny gojo from bullying other kids into giving him pokemon cards ToT just reader making sure their s/o doesn't do anything stupid for the rest of the day

for sure! hope you enjoy :D

——

-> itadori is one that you CANNOT let out of your sight, even for a second. you turn your back and all of the sudden he has something in his mouth. even if you keep him away from everything, he’ll find a way to eat something. until he turns back into himself, expect to be watching him as closely as possible.

-> megumi is very well behaved. he’ll just sit there and stare at you with these big beady eyes and just.. vibe. if you give him something to pass the time he will gladly play with it very nicely and quietly. honestly, he’s very easy to deal with as a child which is very nice.

-> nobara acts like she’s just been given sugar. she’s crazy, insane even. bounces off walls and tries to play with anything and everything. if you don’t let her play with something she’ll start BAWLING. eventually, she’ll tire herself out and just crash. but man- she will be a handful.

-> gojo is pure chaos, whether adult or child. will violently head butt you then run off to steal something he isn’t supposed to have. he’s annoying- doing everything just to get a reaction out of you. it’s like dealing with him now, only he’s smaller and you’re unable to talk to him maturely.

——

-> masterlist

-> rules page

[meltingpotimagines]

Husband!Hawks

this mans

is not husband material

but!

for the right girl? he may be willing to play the part

listen, mans may not be a simp but he is cHARMING okay? he got potential

besides he’s lowkey a simp for the right girl but whatever

was very romantic when he proposed

managed to rent out an entire park perks of being the #2 hero

decked out a gazebo with fairy lights, candles, and rose petals

considered making a heart with the rose petals but decided just scattering them around would be classier and less cheesy

set up a picnic with a basket f u l l of food

sandwiches, cheese, fruit, desserts, the works

and ofc a bottle of champagne bc tonight you two would be celebrating

or so he hoped

you wouldn’t say no right?

i mean who could say no to that gorgeous face pHEW

pulled out the ring box right as you swallowed the last of the macaron you’d been nibbling on

his heart sped up as your eyes widened, a breathless ‘keigo’ escaping your lips

“i know you might not be ready, but the more i get to know you, the more i realize that i don’t want to live the rest of my life without you. you’re the girl of my dreams, and i never want to wake up. would you marry me?”

“are you s t u p i d? ofc i will!”

his grin has never been as bright as it was at that moment

slipped the ring onto your finger and immediately pulled you into his arms and took off into the air

slowed your assent as you two soared above the clouds and spun around, unable to contain his joy

gazed at your face with those golden eyes, taking in your beauty, before giving you the sweetest, most tender kiss you’ve ever felt

oh boy the wedding

when i tell you this was an e v e n t i mean anyone who was anyone wanted to go to this wedding

but only those that were close to the two of you were invited

haha suckerrrs

somehow got all might to officiate

who knew all might could officiate weddings? 

certainly neither of you

no one really knows how that decision came to be but i mean no one was complaining either so

he let you make all the decisions except for one

the flowers

he h a d to be involved in the flowers

he appreciates pretty flora and if the bouquets and floral arrangements at his wedding weren’t the prettiest possible he would n o t be satisfied

teared up as you walked down the aisle (which he will neither confirm nor deny)

not that he wasn’t lookin’ mighty fine too

just imagine: tan suit with a black button up and a gold tie, gold cufflinks with a ruby set in each

i know those are his costume colors but he looks good in them so y’all can fight me

dipped you for your first kiss as husband and wife to everyone’s amusement

best believe a few different cameras caught that

the timing of the wedding was planned out so the reception was held at night

semi-sheer white tents and custom black ten-feet tall candelabras

the soft glow from the candles combined with the moonlight made for the perfect dreamy vibe 

he managed to find a florist that could dye white roses black and cover them them with a thin layer of gold glitter

was it necessary? no

did it look good? heck yeah

the gold glitter shined beautifully against the black roses

tho

the way your eyes sparkled as you danced with him was far more captivating

you two had flown up into the sky to dance your first dance together

your silhouettes against the bright moon made for a perfect picture

the only reason you ended up coming down was because neither of you had eaten much that day and a guy’s gotta eat

he gonna need stamina later *winky face*

you cannot convince me the man wouldn’t insist on fried chicken

like a whole buffet table of different flavors

but i mean fried chicken is good so can’t blame him

everyone expected him to smear some cake on your face when he fed you that first piece

instead wiped off the frosting that got on your lips with his thumb and licked it off

your best friend caught t h a t one on camera and will never stop teasing you about how flustered you got

he kept up a great image of a polite host but on the inside he was ready to g o

it had been a long day and he was ready love on his wife

heh

wife

he likes the sound of that

peppers your face with kisses on the ride home

yeah yeah i know h o n e y m o o n but where y’all were goin’ was forever away and mans just wants to shower you with affection as soon as possible (esp considering he had to keep his hands off you all day since you two never had a moment alone)

scoops you up the second you’re out of the car and carries you over the threshold

gives you a soft kiss before putting you down

and that’s the last soft kiss you’re gonna get for the night lolllll

definitely the type to make you breakfast in the morning

also the type to cook in nothing but an apron and boxers but anyway

you better be up in time to see that sight bc if not, you’re getting breakfast in bed not that i’d complain

he’s not the best cook but mans can manage some bacon and eggs

plus some fresh fruit bc it makes it more visually appealing and less like he doesn’t really know how to cook

he set the tray on your lap and climbs back into bed, pulling you into his side so your head can rest on his chest as you two munch on breakfast

there’s something so soothing about the sound of his heartbeat

a soft little rhythm that nearly puts you back the sleep

didn’t help that he was unconsciously running his fingertips along your arm, drawing random squiggles and shapes

will tilt your head up by the chin every so often to give you a little peck on the lips

if you do fall asleep, he’ll just gaze at you softly while lightly tracing your features

still can’t process that you’re married

someone actually loved him enough to marry him

there was someone that didn’t just admire or use him bc of his quirk

didn’t give him attention purely bc he’s the number 2 hero

you saw all his flaws and shortcomings and insecurities and loved him regardless

if he’s dreaming, please don’t wake him up

you cleaning him wings for him is something he loves so much

it’s such an intimate task that makes him feel cared for

loved

how much time you take in cleaning them and how tenderly you handle each wing

it’s one of his favorite ways to spend time with you

it’s nice being taken care of for once, esp when he’s always taking care of others

absolutely loves taking you on night flights

will take you in his arms and just soar above the clouds

with the clouds below you and the stars above, it feels like you two are the only people that exist

definitely dances with you during some of those flights

wraps one arm more tightly around your waist and take your hand in his and just… slowly spins in the air

it doesn’t look like much but when you’re just looking into each other’s eyes, it feels like the most romantic and intimate moment you could ask for

your life is quite literally in his hands but you’ve never felt safer

even more so when you wrap your arms around his neck and bury your face in the crook

his arms wound securely around your waist, the comforting smell of his scent, the kisses he presses to your temple every so often

it feels like home

likes startling/scaring you a lot

will sneak into the house after work just so he can tap on your shoulder from behind 

the gasp you let out as you freak out for half a second never fails to amuse him the jerk

will always make it up to you with long, deep kiss

if he gets home late after a long day he’ll just crawl into bed and pull you into his arms before burying his face into your hair

no talking, just breathes in your scent before he crashes

he sleeps really well like that, but, although he won’t admit it, he sleeps best when you hold him, his face buried in your chest

he feels warm and safe, like it’s okay to be vulnerable for once

absolutely flirts with you while at work

probably definitely sends you a few spicy pics or texts

it gives him such smug satisfaction knowing the affect he has on you when he’s not even physically there

picks up take-out when he knows your too tired to or would rather not cook

like to back hug you and wrap you up with his wings

9/10 times will bury his face in your neck and nuzzle

sometimes if he spots you while on patrol, he’ll fly over and flirt with you

“how you doin’, gorgeous? the name’s hawks. what’s a pretty lil’ thing like you doin’ in a neighborhood like this?”

sir, this is one of the safest areas in the city pLS-

but if you actually a r e in danger? oh boy

no one, and i mean no one, touches his girl

honestly i’d rather fight bakugo one on one than deal with keigo’s wrath

he’s one of the chillest people you will ever meet, but when he’s that mad? s c a r y

will keep a close watch on you for a while after that

asks you to always let him know where you’ll be and to text him when you get home

definitely considered installing a tracking app on your phones

he’ll calm down eventually, but for the moment he’s extremely anxious

although he certainly tried his best to hide it

he didn’t want to stress you out too, especially if you had any anxieties from it yourself

he was just afraid to lose you

he doesn’t know what he’d do without you

after all, you’re the most precious thing in the world to him and he loves you more than he could ever put into words

[catboyyukineapologist]

Noragami 96/96-2 chapter thoughts

hey guys! I’m back from my month long break how’s everyone doing what’s been ha-

OH MY FUCKING GOD. OH MY GOD. HOLY SHIT. HOLY FUCK. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

two chapter double whammy under the cut because BOY do I got THOUGHTS and FEELINGS for y’all today

---

FIRST I GOTTA FREAK OUT ABOUT BOTH COLOR PAGES EXCUSE ME????? E X C U S E  M E ????????? M A ‘ A M?????????

Alright okay alright. okay. We’re doing this chronologically because i cannot DEAL RIGHT NOW

- 96 -

HIYORI OH MY OHHHHHHH MY GOD

MY GIRL IS BACK

She looks so tiny and I am 100% sure that is on purpose 

yeah hiyori your parents must be worried sick about you, huh

“And that right now, Haru was...” I mean she’s not WRONG

I am in SHAMBLES. I am NOT OKAY. I KNEW this was coming I KNEW HIS DAD WAS KEEPING THE LETTERS AND IT STILL HIT ME LIKE A BRICK TO THE FUCKING THROAT

See this is what I mean when I say I keep looking at Noragami like a western tragedy: That sense of knowing for certain the Bad Thing is going to happen: You know it is, you’ve seen it, the entire story revolves around it happening, yet you still feel for the characters and empathize and it still hurts when all the awful things inevitably come crashing down and why didn’t you see this coming? It’s literally right there in the cover.

Yes I’m in pain how could you tell :)

these character interactions are forcing my hand further into hurt/comfort fic territory every single month

Once again I am legally obligated to tell Kazuma to shut the fuck up

Not everyone has a weird codependent one-sided romance with their god bitch don’t go talking like you’re the paragon of god-shinki relationships<3

Again I love Kazuma but he’s uhhh Been A Bitch the last five chapters or so.

YUKI’S FACE PLEASE SOMEONE ACTUALLY HELP HIM FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HIS EXISTENCE

So basically that entire fight between Yato and Father was functionally pointless. cool. good. alright. thanks.

excEPT IT WASN’T bc bOY OH MAN did everyone involved get nicely placed on the board like little chess pieces with a side of good good character development and PAIN

no i will not elaborate (coherent analysis? in my nonsensical ramblings? never)

- 96-2 -

Kagutsuchi thirsters where you at (it’s me I’m Kagutsuchi thirsters)

“The sorcerer’s true form”... lol

Well, heaven guy uttered Three (3) sentences and I’m already annoyed and terrified

“I have to keep damage to a minimum” *immediately turns into a giant fuck you spider*

NORA MY BELOVED I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER SHE DESERVES EVERYTHING I LOVE HER

zuko who? redemption arc of the century

Hiyori being an impeccable audience surrogate as always in this trying time

I like that this is the Sorcerer Task Force’s idea of “minimum damage”

it’s been a hot minute since we saw Kagutsuchi’s face!! heyy👁️

“BUT”???????👁️👄👁️

SEE THIS IS EXACTLY WHY THEY WANT TO FUCK Y’ALL UP THIS IS EXACTLY IT THERE IS NO INTERNAL COHERENCE AND YOU’RE GONNA GET ALL YOUR SHINKI FUCKING DECIMATED AND GIVE ZERO SHITS

Finally my fave gets some angst (my fave being Ookuninushi for no particular reason other than Chill Uncle Vibes)

I might be joining the heaven bad bandwagon after this-

NO GOD FUCK NO NORA WAIT- NOT- THEY JUST- THE SHINKI- NO

THEY JUST DISH OUT HIS FACE LIKE THAT HOW DARE HOW DARE HOW D A R E

I hate it here I hate it here I hate it here I hate it here I hate it here I ha

GIRL HELP MY FAVE JUST GOT FUCKING MURDERED

...Yeah so this is your monthly reminder that if you see this man it is fully legal and encouraged to commit manslaughter On Sight.

[skipcount1]

orbeus!! hi hello how are you doing?? are u well?? is monty doing well?? i hope u are getting lots of sleep i keep on being offline at peak american hours so it feels like i haven't seen u in days and it's v sad :(( please rank ur top 5 best dream smp characters by who woukd be the worst to work w at ur job(s)?? or simply who would be the worst coworker :D only if u want to tho. i hope u have a wonderful saturday and sleep lord and drink water!!

asdlkfjasdlkj hi wiggles! i am okay monty is also okay. he is licking hsi face. montys okay but hs lost a bit of weight. his tummy pouch is smaller. gonna get him wet food. how are you?? you also better sleep well :knife:

the rest of this is under a read more bc at first i was like "damn man idfk" and then i got into it. warning for........ idk i think you can tell who i dislike LMAO

okay a: BUSSING

c!george, c!dream, c!skeppy, c!bad, c!sam, c!phil, c!techno

c!george or c!dream. c!george: i hate people who are late and/or lazy and i think he would be both. he'd disappear into the bathroom that i use and make it inaccessible for hours at a time. also if i wrangled him into bussing, he'd leave me the napkins. OR c!dream. i just. he has the vibes. i feel like he would do things but he'd just be.... repulsive. i think he'd feel like the entire thing was below him and make it my problem. i also think he'd intentionally walk in front of servers. neither of them would do their sidework.

c!phil. he would find it beneath him and he'd make it EVERYONE'S problem. he would do the work, but he'd also think he was better at it than me and could boss me around for it. he wouldn't do sidework and if was told to do sidework he'd tell me i was told to do it.

c!skeppy or c!techno. c!skeppy i have a gut feeling he'd make me do the most work. i cannot explain it. he wouldnt do his sidework. c!techno: similar to phil. finds it beneath him but does the work properly. absolutely thinks he's better than me. he would turn being the better busser into a competition which is why he's with skeppy and not phil, bc hed actully do his job well, but i would be stressed. i feel like he'd also insist on getting ME when a customer wants something.

c!bad. he just. he would do it wrong. i have a feeling deep in my soul that he would buss in a terribly inefficient way. i also think he'd hate dealing with the dirty things. he'd steal my title as ice champion. also i think he'd be scared of the buckets. i would like working with him as a person but hate him as a coworker.

c!sam. again. deep feeling in my soul. he would do it wrong and insist it was more efficient. he wouldn't sort the silverware.

hosting and utility

george, wilbur, technoblade, ranboo

c!george. see above. he'd insist on running expo and suck at it.

c!wilbur. stinky rat man. no one wants to walk into a restaurant and see a rotting jd kinnie. no one wants said jd kinnie to bring them their food or have their hands near the plates. also i think he'd bring politics into the kitchen and not let it go. he'd make me intensely uncomfortable.

c!dream. there are people involved with hosting and expo. he is not a great team player. also? look at that man and tell me he doesn't reek i dont want him near me or my sani buckets

c!ranboo or c!techno. ranboo: would forget everything. you need a mildly good memory to work expo. he'd send out orders wrong and we'd get yelled at for it. also i think he'd overseat servers on accident. c!techno just. i feel like he would tell peopel to leave if there was a wait lmao. also you gotta be loud to do expo. also i think he'd accidentally kill the cacti.

c!ponk. i love her but i think she'd drop everything all the time. like. drop a box while filling takeout and jsut go ".......YUP" and then we all get yelled at. also i think she'd HATE hosting with a passion. honestly would love to work with him tho he'd make hosting intersting lol

[decennia]

GIMME THOSE CROSSOVER VIBES FOR JAIMA

OMFG YES YES YES

Tiaeden and Elidem Rendethe are both Knights of Ren. They're twins, said to be Kylo's left and right hands. Anything he can't be bothered to deal with, they step in.

They loathe Rey, and as soon as Kylo begins exhibiting strange behaviour, they become wary of him, too.

So, should their paths cross with Jaina (which they 100% would, considering they were likely the Knights who reduced Jaina's home to ash), and should they know about her history with Kylo... Well, let's just say, they wouldn't take very kindly to it.

They only have loyalty to the First Order. Kylo is merely a superior, but should he come to jeopardize their goals, they have no qualms cutting him down. Even if they would be the only ones considered Kylo's friends. Kylo still hesitates when it comes to killing them, though. They're the only Knights who survive Exegol.

They'd 100% be on a mission to end the line of Skywalker, though. They make no secret about it.

Jaina Skywalker must die. That is the only outcome they will accept.

Um, but also Elidem would also be obsessed with her, and not in like... A good way.

Tiaeden would know, and hate Jaina all the more for it.

Elidem would come to view Jaina as his weakness because for the first time in all his years alive, he wouldn't be able to do the one thing he knew how to: kill. Tiaeden sees this as a sickness that would have to be forcibly removed.

Tiaeden and Elidem agree on everything. All except for this One Thing. And as they only have each other, Tiaeden refuses to lose her brother to The Jedi.

Also: epic lightsaber battle? Check.

D Y N A M I C S:

Elidem & Jaina: I love you, and I hate that I do, because you're the enemy, and the amalgamation of everything I was taught to hate. But if I cannot have you, I will bring entire galaxies to ruination until you say yes.

Tiaeden & Jaina: You've taken so much, but you will not take my brother from me for as long as I draw breath. You are a poison, and I, the antidote.