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i've read lolita at age 14, at age 17, and am reading it again at 20, and it is so harrowing in such different ways at each age. because while i could look at it at fourteen and think 'wow this is fucked up' and look at it at 17 and think 'wow this is more fucked up than i remembered' at 20 i just want to cry and cry and cry and cry and cry
#she was just a kid#the section of the book where they just drive around the states is where i had to take a break because i thought i was going to cry#the confusing way humbert narrates and describes things made it hard to sink in when i first read it when i was younger#but it's just. it's literally almost 100 pages of this man kidnapping this 12 year old girl and abusing her right after he told her her mum+#+died#im just. im so sad.#when i was 17 the reason i read this was to write a paper about it and i remember one of the secondary sources i read+#+genuinely believed that lo had seduced humbert#and i just. i was mad then. but im so painfully mad now. because how can you read this book and believe it's even AMBIGUOUS that she was +#+ being abused#god man.#tw abuse#tw child abuse#cw lolita#♡alizeh reads♡#tagged:nabokov
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