#the comfort the satisfaction the synchrony the way i can unapologetically jsut be myself without feeling embarrassed is just!!!
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#and also the big elephant in the room#we are not addressing is that i wish i could date women lol#the older i get the more i come to the realization that my soulmate on this earth is probably not a man#and yet i’m forced to do whatever this is lol#i mean men are good n cool in many ways i like when they hold me and i feel arm muscle around my waist#i like it when they pay for dinner and kill the spider#i like the part where i get dicked down (lol)#i like their deep voices#but i just#i’ve never vibed with a man the way i do with women#if it’s true what they say and you should#marry someone who feels like your best friend i am SO fucked#there is such a strange ocean between me and the men i date i can’t describe it#and all i know is that it doesn’t exist when i’m lying in bed next to one of my girlies for a little sleepover#the comfort the satisfaction the synchrony the way i can unapologetically jsut be myself without feeling embarrassed is just!!!#maisha says it’s bc of the inherent necessity to constantly feel ‘’fuckable’’ to a man#even when you’re just lounging you feel the need to be desirable#and maybe if i started sleeping w a woman i’d feel this way around her too idk#i don’t know
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