#the combination is just so overwhelming
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I just typed out a really long rant about like the shame I feel about being autistic and getting this obsessed with things and how hard it is to let go of that and just let myself like things as intensely as I do since it's literally fine and my therapist is encouraging me to but like I still feel so guilty and embarrassed all the time because I learned from a young age that I should be and that I should really try to suppress all aspects of my personality to avoid being a weird sad obsessive annoying freak or whatevs and how it's way worse with my current obsession because I have a longer history and deeper emotional connection with it than basically anything else which means that it's both more intense than other fixations and I also automatically feel so much embarrassment because I was made fun of so badly in high school for being the weird tmbg guy and yet I couldn't stop myself from talking about them 24/7 and it's so frustrating the way that always happens to me where if I'm just like I wish I could shut up about this but I feel like if I don't talk about it constantly I'm actually going to die and it's just so exhausting and frustrating and I know from experience it will start to be more manageable after a while but trying to fight it just makes me miserable and makes the fixation even worse and it's like I desperately wish I wasn't this way but also beating myself up about it does nothing to make me Not that way so there's just no point and my therapist is literally like you need to stop judging yourself and just have fun with your interests like if you want to spend several hours listening to bootlegs and reading interviews just do that without judgement or feeling like you wasted time since doing that literally makes you happy and is fine . and im like this is true. Probably. But how. But anyway tumblr errored and it didn't post which is probably for the best because it was 5 times longer than this
#but its like by trying to force myself to stop being obsessed with something . it literally doesnt work and then i also am like i could be#having way more fun and learning way more about this thing if i just let myself so im trying to just let myself but then#my brother or someone makes a Lighthearted joke about how my encyclopedic knowledge (which i dont even HAVE theres so much about them#i dont even know) is like Freakish and i just am like i kinda wanna die now because i feel so embarrassed . but i also.#love this thing sooo much that i feel like my heart will burst out of my chest and it makes me happier than anything so#the combination is just so overwhelming#and part of me is like if i could just keep quiet about this and not be constantly bringing them up and stuff it would be fine#because i also wouldnt get made fun of. but thats not how it works i feel the strongest most irresistable urge to share them with everybody#and talk about them constantly even when i know other people dont care and its just. GAHHHHHH
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One of my 666 extras ideas evolved into something that's almost certainly going to turn big enough to be a whole separate installment, I think!
#personal#hazbin hotel#radiostatic#my writing#vox#alastor#feeling a little weird about posting this after how BIG the original reaction was to the series not having more planned at the time#idk 666 just got so big that sometimes the responses were a little overwhelming#it culminated unfortunately with the last installment because it was a combination of people being sad that the series#didn't have more explicitly planned for it#and because a number of people got weird about the CNC (particularly a number of people who hadn't read the rest of the series)#in a way that at least at the time felt like it overshadowed people actually enjoying the series#so it left me with some weird feelings about the whole thing#and now I'm a little apprehensive to post more#I'll get over it a lot of the overshadowing was just because negativity feels louder than positivity and I'm just venting a little!#writing snippets#staticradio
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Obikin body swap idea: getting to see how the other half lives. Anakin just being super flustered by the idea that when he touches himself he's touching his master even for innocent things like running his fingers through his hair or getting to touch his beard.
Meanwhile Obi-Wan is trying to cope with how overstimulating Anakin's connection to the force is and even the best shields only dampen it slightly. Inner peace? He doesn't know her.
ooo i feel like when we talk about obikin body swap, this is always what we go with (overwhelmed by his master's body! anakin and overwhelmed by how anakin experiences the force! obi-wan), and it's good it's great i think these are great interpretations of the characters and i can see why it's such a popular take on obikin body swap
so what if that but also:
anakin overwhelmed by how little time obi-wan actually has to himself and how busy he is and him realizing that it's not that obi-wan purposefully doesn't spend as much time with him as he wants it's that obi-wan's body walks down a corridor and two younglings want him to give them a sparring demonstration, four Council meetings are scheduled, and one archives padawan is coming incessantly wanting to ask if he's ready for book club this week because she has thoughts on the last chapter
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obi-wan unused to how strong he feels, how easy the Force suddenly is to manipulate; sure it's loud and i have a soft spot for that sort of headcanon about how anakin experiences the force, but i think we can't forget it wouldn't just just be overstimulating for anakin: it makes him powerful as fuck. obi-wan feels tired and the mechno arm hurts and it's straining his shoulder so he decides to use the force to call his datapaad over from its charging spot, but it zooms over so fast it shatters on impact with the wall
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anakin overwhelmed by the new and unfamiliar aches and pains of obi-wan's body, the way he hurts when he wakes up, the way long space travel makes him feel sick and stiff
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obi-wan realizing how persistent the chancellor is when it comes to comming and meeting anakin for lunch--oh lunch won't work what about tea oh tea won't work what about opera----
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anakin trying spicy food for the first time in obi-wan's body and he's.... actually fine???? cue realizing that obi-wan was just pretending when he was younger to not like spicy food the bastard. (upon confrontation, obi-wan says, 'well it just seemed to mean so much to you on a personal level that i wouldn't be able to handle the heat of tatooinian food, i didn't want to disappoint you but you should really try stewjoni cuisine')
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obi-wan realizing quite quickly that uh. anakin was not ever faking his very low alcohol tolerance
#asks#obikin#do not get me wrong i like a) the switched body trope#and b) the 'anakin is confronted with having everything he has always coveted and yet must resist' trope#paired with c) the 'anakin's connection with the force is deafening and loud and no one else could handle it'#trope well enough#especially when im in the particular mood for b or c (c is rarer for me but i have a soft spot for it)#but i feel like there are so many tropes to pull in for body swap#so many things that would overwhelm each other just about their daily lives#and before someone says something about obi-wan not being able to handle spice or scottish food isnt spicy#those are headcanons that i switch around whenever i want based on my mood i am a river i am a stream etc stewjon can be whatever i want#idk maybe ive just seen asks answered by other blogs with these specific tropes or im combining them in my head or smthng#cant really trust my brain most of the time
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evil sasara must be so interesting lol like an inverted sasara i think is still just sasara since he’s like two faced asf, but maybe that asshole side of his personality would be his main side lol 🤔
#this is vee speaking#i really wanna know what the evil versions’ personalities are lol#like my working theory is that the evil versions are based on a side the character usually keeps hidden#like ichiro has a cocky asf grin bc it’s a little symbolic of how similar he is to rei and that smile reeks rei lol#evil samatoki look so fcking intimidating lol i wouldn’t be surprised if that’s the overwhelming violence that shaped him is manifesting#they just threw out ramuda is a clone in his bio for this game so even evil ramuda must suffer lol#sensei i’m actually pretty excited to see since i’m not entirely sure what angle they’ll take lol#do they go the assassin route or the god complex he doesn’t yet kinda does have????? a combination of both maybe?????#sasara might just be openly mean lol and kuukou i am so stumped on like actually LOL#is he hirono kuukou levels of attitude??? more like shakku to round off the tifecta of they got daddy issues he ichiro and samatoki make???
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Maybe it's the fact that I'm sick, extra punchy, and sound like a combination of a microphone with bad feedback and a bug, but I feel like this ad from the DMV OF ALL PLACES just fucking sucks. Like is it supposed to be a positive that people are more likely to stop for ducks than other human beings??? Is it a positive that people are more likely to stop for an animal that can fly away from an approaching car than YOU??? I understand that it's like a "don't text/drink and drive" ad that's more "do as I say" instead of "buy what I tell you," but honestly I feel like this is failing! The picture of ducks on a road doesn't tell me the problem visually, the bolded words are Bad™ as I've already explained, and the actual message of the ad blends in with the road to the point I had SCROLL UP AGAIN to actually see it! "People are more likely to stop for ducks than people on roads." HEY WHY IS THAT EXACTLY!?
#it's like 9:45 almost#i want to a hobby rn but I'm sick and honestly somewhat overwhelmed with starting for some reason#the combination of a sore/swollen-ish throat is making me slightly more irritated about stupid shit#so ofc I see this ad and decided to be ''wtf'' about it#so now here we are#at least in irritation im just overly critical of an ad and not bullying some kid for clout ig#abluehappyface
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Every bookbinding tutorial i found online: "DO NOT TRY THE COPTIC STITCH AS A BEGINNER ITS TOO ADVANCED"
Me who has only bound one book before and used a completely different method: "ehh it can't be that hard"
2 hours later
.....I was right. Its not that hard.
#its technically slightly wrong cuz i dont have signatures#im just doing one folded piece of paper at a time#which does take longer#but i was expecting that#doing actual signatures would have a. been way too thick cuz im using watercolor paper and getting them to lay flat wouldve been annoying#and also i wouldve had to pay a lot more attention to how the pages were actually laid out#and this project was already kinda overwhelming without that added in#im also combining methods a bit cuz im also gonna glue the spine with wood glue for extra support#and i also dont want the stitching to be visible#every tutorial was also like ''coptic stitch is great for exposed stitching!!!'' like cool story. not why im using it. gonna cover that shit#also finding one that wasnt in video form AND actually showed everything i needed to know was completely impossible apparently#i needed to know how to attach a fresh string when i run out cuz i always struggle with that in any sewing project#and generally need a refresher each time#and all the written ones were just like ''just make sure your string is long enough before hand!!! but not so much that it becomes#tangled!!!'' bitch im making a much thicker book than you. i cannot just use ONE string. it b#absolutely WILL become tangled if i make it long enough to finish the binding in one go.#yall are WEAK#my book is 3 times thicker than yours#i need to know how to attach a fresh string#the video tutorials cover that but i had to fast forward through most of it#im running out of steam for tonight (hence why im here and not working on it) so ill be finishing this tomorrow#was hoping to get this part done over the weekend but i ended up not getting a lot of the writing done on friday as i intended#cuz i ended up having to play tech support for my friend so she could update her sims mods
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the longer i sit with it the more it really gets me how nobody ever really mentions obito and rin before obito's reveal in shippuden. kakashi vaguely mentions his old friends and i think other characters allude to the tragedy of kakashi's past but rin and obito themselves are lost to time. something about that is so fucking haunting and so gutting. you would think it would be a pretty big deal that two kids from the same class died within a year of each other, but the nine tails attack probably wiped so much clean that nobody could really carry the grief... still, when we see their class in flashbacks, we recognise almost everyone else, so... there's something really sad and hopeless about their absence...
there's a lot a LOT to say about it from a lot of different angles and i don't really feel like going into meta posting territory i just have big feelings about it you know? and to me i guess obito encapsulates a lot of the anger. for the people who get left behind and forgotten. and that can mean a lot of things
#two of my classmates died on separate occassions in short span of time in high school and i wont claim that grief because#i didnt know either of them well but i did feel a lot of anger and overwhelming hopelessness. that life keeps relentlessly going on#even when people get left behind#it feels so unfair and so painful... there are so many more aspects to it though as well#like people who are left behind in other ways due to circumstance or class or race or etc etc- often a combination of those factors#and obito as a kid reminds me a lot of a good friend i had when i was little who was late to class every day#because of those outside circumstances#and again someone in high school who i was late WITH every day. because ya#and i feel very big about that. and about rins death as something so fucking preventable#the tragedy also of baby teacher minato who was so so not ready to be in charge of anyone. but. that's something else#anyway i guess i just really feel a connection with that anger and despair#sorru was watching niji and felt fucking insane about it#obito and rin are like two sides of one thing. maybe of one person. of one concept#part of why i'm so so crazy about obito being trans is because i see him as also using rin's memory as a conduit for#his anger and grief about his own lost younger self. hence: baby obito is also a little girl#i think they are best friends. its so important. idk none of this is wider narrative meta#its just my feelings about them in particular#haunting dead girl and the ghost who has to carry on and can't rest
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#bored and i wanna talk to people and i’m combining the two things#watch me get overwhelmed tho imao#that’s if ppl even join#idk i might just make it anyways and see what happens#i wanna talk to ppl but there’s too many ppl and i’m shy#but i wanna try pushing myself out my comfort zone a little bit#we can make friends!#is the point#i wanna really try to actually make something of this and not have it just be something i impulsively do and then abandon#but i’ve never made/run a server before so bare with me imao#i just really need to push myself to talk to ppl bc i’m isolating myself too much and i wanna try to push through that#or ppl can invite me to their servers if that’s not too pushy?#or my asks/dms are always open!#anyways we shall see#gwen rambles#gwenposting
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i cry a lot, so when i look at the things i cry about, a fair bit of it is really funny when taken out of context
that being said, shaking and crying over a pair of mothman stickers held so gently in my hand has gotta be the funniest one yet
#vu talks shit#just got overwhelmed by the combined force of 'i hate returning to my living situation'#and#'i am so fucking grateful to know im cared about enough to receive all this'#it was the cosmo print that rly broke the dam but i had the stickers in hand so i just sat here#and shook like a chihuahua
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being pelted with drawing ideas at a pace so rapid I could not hope to keep up with is both an inspiring blessing and a horrible curse
#Venting in tags#I can't draw five different things at the same time brain PLEASE slow down I am going to explode#or just not go to bed today so that I can draw all of these in rapid succession#Other nuzzle comic + microwave + new pfp and banner + new ref/pinned for twt + pinned thread for tmblr + three tmblr quotes-#+ all the posts on twt and tmblr I meant to draw smth for and then got too sick to do so at the time + the funny things people-#have left in my rbs that I want to draw + the dozen posts in my ask box + the like 10 freenoodles comics/animation-#Ideas I have saved on notepad in my phone + all of the other things I've forgotten at the moment that will inevitably come back-#to hit me like a brick at 2 am tonight. help.#Turns out that being a.) Unable to draw for a month and b.) Being incapable of doing almost anything else except laying in bed-#Thinking about freenoodles over the same period of time are a terrible combination!! for me this is great for everyone else#I am so overwhelmed- happy!! Having freenoodles on the brain and being able to draw again is making me very happy!!#But I hate that I can't draw all this RIGHT NOW it's gonna take me foreverrrrrrrr to get through this list aughhhhhaaaaahhahhhgggg#This turned into a vent post on accident woops sorries#Not very serious- mostly made to write down all of the aforementioned ideas in the tags so I don't forget them#Frustrated but I stay silly- have a cookie for getting this far •v• >🍪
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textbook case of emotional blackmail: just what you need on a Monday
#honestly just where we were heading with felv grandma for a while now#i was ready to tell her that wasn't a nice thing to say because i am NOT dealing with that shit#but her daughter already went off at her before i could say a word#the cat has a really fucked eye now but is otherwise in good condition#so we're doing our damndest to keep him alive#but grandma is afraid and overwhelmed because she just lost her other cat to leucose#so she keeps asking us to euthanise him.#and we refuse. a positive felv result alone is no reason. the eye is no reason. both of those things combined-no reason.#i'm a vet. not a killer for hire ffs.#i have explained the disease to her repeatedly. what it does. what happened with the other cat. what we can do now#everything. repeatedly. still she comes back to ask.#we offered to find a new home for the cat if she feels incapable of caring for him#“no. i'm only giving him away dead”#then threatened to kill herself and the cat.#we found a temporary solution now but i fear this isn't over yet#also worried about a coworker because she's taking it (and the other shit that's been happening in a similar vein recently) hard#and sure we talk about this stuff and how we feel about it but idk if that's enough in the end#pet death cw#suicide cw#hello yes work is insane atm#BUT! my last patient today was a cuddly old cat so i'll be focusing on that experience instead
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I have a question what were Annie's og parents like(i mean she was willing to run away with five aliens to be her fathers instead so I don't think they might have been the best😬) or maybe they're dead and were good people idk
A lot of the lore is actually written by @sweetpeaches666, who may be tagged under sugarbutterfly432, thanks to Annie technically being a 3 way OC lmao. There has been nothing solidly concrete about Annie's OG parents beyond the fact that she doesn't know her ancestry and she's had many foster homes AND orphanages to live in (plus it'd also be easier legal wise for the Andromeda 5 to adopt her if she isn't officially someone else's kid at the time)
It's actually why she does ballet, one of her foster mothers wanted to recreate her failed dream, turns out it breeds resentment and a lot of running away :P
What can be said is that Annie's been many different homes and in a constant state of transitioning between them, a prime example of being a refunded kid and all that, something something No Roots by Alice Merton yada yada 'oh no that's relatable'. Her birth parents one way or another have never been in her life, though regardless of what actually happened Annie will always believe that they left her behind like like everyone else did :P
#ask#anonymous#annie andromeda#ben 10 oc#ben 10#if there was a frequent flyer's pass for running away annie would be getting so many check-ins#or whatever happens with frequent flyer stuff idk i don't fly#anyway annie would call herself a jailbird if living in group homes or transition homes fit the definition#she sure does fly the coop enough to make the connection stick#p'andor adopting her out of the blue (give or take the actual time it would legally take to do so) after she tried to mug him#was the biggest shock that left her reeling for a hot fucking minute before she even had the chance to maybe run away again#something something 'what do you have' yada yada 'a smoothie'#annie realises she's been adopted by aliens or at least in the process of being adopted by them during the midst of her confusion#and maybe being kitted out with a room and also a wallet to mooch off of#because while the andromeda 5 are being given parental rights and responsibilities she's living under their roof#if shit goes south she can at least get one of the adults to purge their money on her food and supplies should she run off later#(which doesn't end up happening... at least not seriously with resentment)#sometimes she feels the need to take a breather from a comparably overwhelming amount of love and affection sent her way#let alone the fact that she's getting like 5 adults' care instead of the nuclear 2#which may or may not end up freaking out some of them (ra'ad especially but probably everyone but p'andor)#p'andor being a combination of not fully grasping what a kid on a conceptual level is but also because he first met annie trying to rob him#not exactly points for him in the 'responsible parent' tally but he's far from a single parent#sure technically- since annie's 16 (give or take to match ben's age)- she was soon gonna be too old for the orphanage#p'andor will be the one to look for her (he'll actually insist since the others might freak her out more) even if it means they stay out#just an easy bake oven taking his outdoor cat on a walk- he and annie will return home soon but hey- nothing like a breath of fresh air#anyway the tags hold more details than the post itself lmao tag rambling at it's finest :P#hmm does there need to be a warning for this?
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i love that colin says that the sprongs are used to being stuck in timeloops and things of that nature. literally nobody was surprised by that.
tho i wonder if dave is somehow related to colin now...
#A LOT of things happening so many little details to have fun with AAAAA#and i still have to rewatch many sections still. AND im only just at the combination bit. overwhelmed and happy lmao.#frances was there and i haven¡'t even gotten to rewatch that yet!!! freaking out btw#jules plays not for broadcast#not for broadcast#nfb spoilers#not for broadcast spoilers#nfb timeloop spoilers
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what if i just. made a long ass post of all ~150 fics i had bookmarked to rec on five fic recs. they're all from like 2019-2021 post-s2-era and it is SO fun to revisit that moment in time (ONLINE. ONLINE.)
#rereading some of them now bc i do NOT remember most of these#i got into making the requested lists and that got SO overwhelming so quick#and that combined with the combing through ao3 every single day made me lose so much steam so fast#in one sense i kind of wanted to be a resource in the fandom but realistically that blog was just like. bookclub but just for me.#it was NOT a database it was my personal oh i enjoyed this and you might too!#and i forgot that when i got so many specific requests#anyways. all this to say. i have an INSANE backlog of individual fics to rec from years ago.#would anyone be interested in that. would that be healing for anyone else.
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Since y’all seem chill I'd like to share some highlights from my partner and I's fridge. An artist/writer and an IT guy who's got jokes.
Guess who wrote all of these?
It was the IT guy.
#i got these as a gift for him#he sat on the floor for like an hour just staring at the fridge and wheezing#we only had a couple to begin with (the bigger ones or ones written in)#and he kept cycling through the same ones#so one day I bought these for him and Ive never seen such a combination of overwhelm and joy in a man's face 🤣#i fibbed a little i think anxious aaaaaa#might have been me#maybe.#if you could imagine giving a dog an entire bag of tennis balls thats what it was like 🤣
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course registration is the devil incarnate i am at my Fucking limit. what the genuine hell is a recitation i just want to Learn Things
#honestly so overwhelmed there are so many classes and i will never be able to take them all and i'm really sad about it#could come up with at least three different major/minor/cluster combinations but that would serve zero purpose & just make me more confused#:/
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