#the color is a little more purple IRL than the pictures show

[anarchy-and-piglins]

Ranboo's gift - Enchanted netherite axe with oak wood, gold, and leather handle, ender pearl inlay, and a lucky charm consisting of bells for invoking the Blood God, an emerald, and a black feather from the angel of death himself. The four green beads are meant to represent the members of the Syndicate.

I based the design of the axe on my design for the Orphan Obliterator I made earlier so the weapons could be matching <3

[peppapigvevo]

STYLISTA

Guess who got the Bootique Clawdeen.

Let's have a wholly unprofessional and unsponsored review post!

Boring stuff out of the way first; she was on Amazon for $44.99 USD. She's currently on a 7% off sale so you can get the set for $41.85 USD.

The back of the box shows off some styling ideas as well as a little blurb in multiple languages.

The sides have more styling options.

The top of the box has a nifty little inventory of all the things contained within.

I didn't take any pictures of the inside but the doll, furniture and accessories were packaged very simply; the accessories were inside white paper bags, the furniture was strapped in to fit and Clawdeen had her own compartment on the left side. Not a display packaging obviously, since the box itself has no clear portions. On that note, I think the QC for facial screenings has gotten better, since Skulltimate Secrets and now this were packaged with no way to see the doll until you open the packaging. all the Skulltimate secrets dolls and this Clawdeen have perfect faces.

This is how Clawdeen was packaged: wearing her purple jumpsuit, green belt, green earrings and the pink translucent booties.

The doll herself does in fact have the torso joint. The lighting in my room is a little yellow, so you can't see it clearly, but her lid and undereye are lavender, with a magenta crease. Her lips are a much more saturated fuchsia red in real life. her hair is a berry color, with the light lavender color she typically gets. On the subject of her hair...

...I am not an expert, i am just a doll-collecting homosexual, but it does NOT feel like the same kind of hair texture every other Clawdeen has. I can't be sure if its nylon or saran or whatever, but it feels denser and waxier than the polypropolene. It wasn't as tangled before or after a wash, and the ends weren't as frayed.

You can see how it washed. This does NOT look the same as my other Clawdeens I washed, so take that as you will. I still need to reset the curl pattern, of course.

On to the clothing. The jumpsuit is actually a pretty heavy and dense denim, in this purple leopard print with lavender and blue spots, and magenta and black slash marks. It has short, cuffed sleeves and a pointed shirt collar, and cuffs on the hem of the pant legs. the waist has lime stitching and faux pockets.

All of Clawdeens belts have 3 different closure holes, so they can be worn tighter or looser at your discretion. This lime green belt has a skullette buckle and a very long trailing tail.

The booties are a light fuchsia with spikes on the top, and the heels are crescent moons. I know a lot of new MH shoes have interesting detailing on the soles, but these don't, probably because they're clear.

I'm gonna do the outfit pieces in groups. The sweater is yellow, with blue, white and purple circle detailing. The chest has an aqua triangle, the same color as the slash marks. The collar, cuffs and hem are the same blue as the circles on the sweater.

The tank top looked black at first, but it actually has a very subtle bleach dye effect that looks like mist in the dark, it's pretty nice irl. The shirt also has a tri-moon vinyl on it, with a howling wolf on the center full moon.

The green skirt is a lighter weight denim than the jump suit, with darker green spots and a frayed hem under a stitch. The cupcake skirt is in a metallic fabric with a slight blue shift; its really pretty in person. The waist is black elastic and the skirt is covered with criss-crossing claw marks.

The dress is a one-shoulder thigh length ruched number. Because of the design, it doesn't look like much on a hanger but it sings on the doll. The dress is blue with purple and pink leopard spots.

The scarf is hot pink with gold metallic flecks. The stole is a softer pink.

If you're insane like me and already have Skulltimate Secrets Clawdeen, this bucket hat should look familiar. It's the same mold in a periwinkle blue, sans the leopard spots. The canvas and stitch molding is REALLY nice.

I thought the boots had layers of fur, but theyre actually molded to look like slouchy fabric boots, with a repeating skullette pattern. The heels are lined in spikes, and theres a tie molded at the top.

The lime sneakers are the exact same mold as Ghoul Spirit Clawdeen, but in a solid green.

The set also comes with 5 hangers for extra outfits. They're kind of swirly and dainty looking, more like g1 Catrine. They come in pink, lavender, purple, blue and green.

Our girl comes with a lot of accessories! The lime green necklace, again, is the same mold as one that comes with Skulltimate Sectrets Clawdeen. Its a short chain with three dangling crescent moons, with a longer rope chain under that. The magenta necklace and choker are recast from her g3 signature; a circular moon pendant on a crescent moon chain, paired with a star choker.

The gold fur bangle is reused from her Ghoul Spirit doll. The magenta spiked cuff and purple cuff are new though. The magenta one is a simple spiked band while the purple has teeth detailing all around it, I did a terrible job photographing these so if anyone wants any clearer pics just let me know lmao.

The glasses are her signature glasses, in black. The magenta comb is a tiger-striped crescent moon with a studded handle.

The long gold piece is a hair barrette that says MONSTER. The long purple piece is a three-finger ring with the triple moon motif on it.

The black earring is a double crescent moon. IIRC this appeared first on Ghoul Spirit from this gen. The blue hoop with the dangling moon is also from Ghoul Spirit.

I didn't take close up picks of hem, but the green earings are a spiked hoop and a triple moon, recast from her signature earrings.

The gold belt has a double crescent moon buckle, mimicking the Gucci logo:

Finally, her bag is a large tote or shopping bag, covered in the same skullette molding as her boots. The green "HOWL" is flanked by pink bands with small crescent moons, and the moon shaped handles have tooth details.

The furniture she comes with are really cute and would look ADORABLE with her bedroom playset. The coffin-shaped clothing rack is studded, with the triple moon detail at the top. At the bottom are purple trays, and the lavender wheels do function.

The moon vanity has a circular mirror with two small shelves, a moon phases detail on the faux-drawer, and a moon shaped foot.

The pink stool has a starburst on the foot and the seat is molded to look like its padded or has draped pleats.

Final looks and thoughts in the next post!

[window-view-orion]

Magic Mixies Pixie Supremes Comprehensive Comparison (December 2024)

Top left Luna, top right rare "shimmer" Luna, bottom left Skylar, bottom right Aria.

The Magic Mixies Pixie Supremes are 10-inch fashion dolls from Moose Toys, based on their highly successful line 'Magic Mixies Pixlings', 6-inch mini dolls of humanoid fantastical creatures or animals such as polar bears, fire horses, and deer. The Pixie Supremes and Pixlings have very similar head molds and facial screenings, as well as gems embedded in the dolls' foreheads. There are currently three Pixie Supremes: Luna, Skylar, and Aria. All are based on butterflies.

Luna & Shimmer Luna

Luna was the first Supreme to be revealed, and is the only non-exclusive. I've personally seen her for sale at Target and on Amazon. She has a butterfly-wing themed dress, a small butterfly beauty mark beneath her mouth, and a light pink and blue hair blend. Her color scheme is primarily purple and blue.

1 in 6 Luna's are the rare "shimmer" variant with an altered dress and a pink and blue color scheme.

"Shimmer" Luna has red lipstick instead of purple, and her butterfly beauty spot is red as well, and there's tinsel in her hair.

Comparing irl photos from two unboxings on YouTube (normal Luna unboxing from Zombiexcorn, shimmer Luna unboxing from Kaya&Dolls) the shimmer Luna *might* have more pink in her eye makeup, but it's honestly hard to tell, might just be a trick of different lighting.

The dress is obviously the biggest difference, but Shimmer's shoes are also pink on top with an ombre to purple, while normal Luna's are solid purple. Something I didn't notice until I watched those unboxings was that Shimmer's little mini-dress under her skirt-wings has shiny decals on it, which normal Luna's does not.

Their jewelry seems to be the same, necklace, earrings, and butterfly headpiece. The wand/comb is partially pink for Shimmer. Their wings appear identical.

Skylar

Skylar is exclusive to Amazon. I had not been able to find pictures of her box anywhere, it's not included in her stock photos like all the others, but finally I found an unboxing of all three Supremes, including Skylar. (AdventureFun! on YouTube). Makes sense I couldn't find any photos, because apparently she comes in a plain brown cardboard box with this inside, laid on top of the magic mirror. How magical, but I guess they can get away with it as she's online only.

But at least we finally have her art to match the others! They are all in the same pose on the front. And it shows that she's the only one with a second outfit.

Skylar has rainbow eyeshadow rather than the butterfly eyeshadow that both Luna and Aria have. It seems a bit backwards, as Aria is THE Rainbow Pixie Supreme, but perhaps this is just something to make Skylar more exclusive. Her hair is shorter than the other Supremes, and is just one shade of purple rather than a blend.

Even though the art on the "box" makes it look like her second look is a separate shirt and skirt, it's all one piece. This second dress and her second pair of shoes come separately in her box in paper packets.

Aria

Aria was the last Supreme released, just a bit after the others. She's exclusive to Walmart.

Aria's dress is like a midpoint between Luna's and Skylar's. It has the second layer on top, transparent mesh like shimmer Luna's, with a broader main skirt that closes in the front, unlike Luna's wing-like dress. Aria's skirt flares more than Skylar's, but not as much as Luna's. Her makeup is lighter and pinker, and so is her jewelry.

(these screenshots are taken from the same YT video linked under Skylar)

Conclusions

All of the Pixie Supremes have the same earrings, necklaces, shoes, butterfly headpieces, and wings. I believe they all use the same face mold, but I can't be completely sure because I'm bad at identifying those. They're all on one body mold with nine points of articulation. They come with a saddle stand, a wand/brush accessory, and the magic mirror case/fortune teller toy. Their faces and screenings are all very similar, and their dresses are of similar styles but vary widely in color. They retail for $59.99.

[pulim-v]

Talk Shop Tuesday: what's your process for designing a new character? How do you determine things like their color scheme or what animal they're going to be? Do you usually spend a while refining your characters, or do they come to you all in one burst?

Okay so it's been a while since I last designed a character, but there is some method to my madness lol

For Mist and Spark, I wanted there to be a lot of contrast between them while also having stuff that ties them together - hence both of them sharing an accent color (yellow) and being dogs, while their main colors are complementary and their other species are very different

For the rest of the main six, I just asked my friends for two animals they like lol (with the stipulation that apart from Fern all of them had to be mammals)

Their colors... I don't remember how I did that part. I think I was going through the color wheel trying to pick something interesting for all of them, but I do know there was a lot of tweaking involved - Rowan's color scheme used to be a lot lighter, Dew used to be purple instead of orange, and Fern took quite some time to get the pink and black color scheme. For the girlie ever Basil, her color scheme came about just from her species, since she is a coral snake

For the side characters, most of them are just one-off archetypes that I end up messing with until they're something unique; like with Basil, I wanted her to be this sort of really sporty person and gave her a slightly more butch appearance than my female characters at the time, but that developed into her current style that I *think* can be categorized as punk, with the leather jacket and combat boots and all that.

Believe it or not whether I go with the first draft really depends on the character LMAO like with Dew and Via I had three separate design phases for each (Dew especially took a lot of tweaking and experimenting to get his hairstyle and color palette right), meanwhile Mist has been pretty much stagnant design-wise if you don't count his outfit changing as I got more and more experience with drawing clothes

The amount of designs I do also depends on a lot of stuff, like I did a whole burst of eight side characters at once (and haven't drawn any of them in months lmaooooo) but sometimes I just don't come up with anything for a while, especially right now that FGCC has hit a point where it has a good amount of characters and the other stories are mainly developing dynamics between characters I already have established

Now, with all those messy ramblings out of the way, here's how I would design a brand new character right now:

Think of a role that needs to be filled. Like, uhhh, the Calculus teacher.

What sort of basic premise can I go for here? I already have a concept for the Chem teacher (he'll show up for a bit on Rowan's Birthday) and he's a really chill teacher that doesn't mind if the students' methodology isn't perfect as long as they understand the concepts and get the right results, so I could go for the polar opposite: a really strict teacher that wants every aspect of the subject to be done perfectly, with little room for error

In terms of species, I think I could go for some more non-mammalian characters, as a way to make my lineup a tad more diverse, so how about an owl? It's a tad stereotypical, but I think it could work to kinda show their more strict and stern nature. Plus, there's a ton of visual variety in owl species irl, so there's a lot of design potential both if I limit it to a single species and if I mix and match them

Then I'd actually draw the design, mostly paying attention to their build, clothing, and animal features (I tend to forget stuff like wings at this point so it'd probably involve a ton of tries lol)

After I'm satisfied with how the design looks, I take a picture of the final sketch and draw over it on my phone, and this is where I actually choose the color palette. For this one, I'm thinking a simple palette is best since they'd be a very minor side character, so maybe something like a mix of grey and either blue or red. Blue for the usual color theory associations (and also tying them to Mist a bit since they're both rigorous) or red to tie them to Via, since Via's plot has a few ties to Calculus specifically

And done! After that I'd probably draw the character a lot until they've ship-of-theseus'd into something unrecognizable (like Dew who has changed almost everything in his design lmao)

Thanks for the ask! Sorry for the really rambly answer akjsdhaskjhdjkas

[postsforposting]

Thank you so much! I was getting an IPS or OLED for the viewing angle. I am not a competitive gamer, but I thought stuff looked weird on anything under 120 refresh rate? Something about games running at 60 and movies at 24, their first common denominator being 120 for things to match up properly?

I currently have a ViewSonic OMNI VX2768-2KP-MHD 27 Inch 1440p 1ms 144Hz IPS (resolution is 2k something) as my movie screen, and I was thinking of getting a better one that would either be a 2k or a OLED. I do not do professional art, I do the digital equivalent of stick figures, so that stuff isn't my concern. I absolutely hate the menu screen for the Viewsonic, it's all dinky little buttons to change the brightness and etc settings, there's no easy OS interface. Movies are fine, much better than the dinky netbook I had previously, but not great, especially since I can't change the brightness and contrast easily.

So I was thinking I could get another 2k, 28"-ish. There are OLED at that size, but I didn't know if burn in was going to kill it--do the programs to prevent that mean you can let the same screen sit there every day? I do turn it off at night, but I mostly read web stuff so it's that interface plus the OS bar most of the time. What I was reading about burn in said the way I use it would murder the screen, but if the programs you talked about would prevent it then OLED is a possibility. I would have to save for a long time but the upgrade would be worth it rather than getting a less good IPS right now. It sounds like I would notice the difference, not just side by side, but as in it's a stark difference between the different types of screen.

I seem to have my screen brightness down real low, even for movies? Specs say my display has 350nits, and for text I set it on 17%, it gives itself 85% for movies. It looks really bad, like "ow my eyes" if it's up where the default "movie" settings want it to be. I have heard that OLED screens have really bad brightness levels, but I'm not sure this would bother me? I have tried to go see a real OLED in person but I can't find any monitors near me, only TV, which as you said they're built differently. If the brightness issue means it makes movies look real bad, which is why I want it, that would make it a terrible choice.

>If something is really bright, then dark things will seem darker by comparison.

I think this might be why my current monitor doesn't work like it ought during the day, because I turn the brightness down to not sear my eyes. Would an OLED be better able to do things like show black detail without having to turn up brightness? I get that problem in games I play, I can't see stuff the narrative is assuming I can see. Same with movies. Sometime you're not supposed to see in the dark, but there are definitely times I know I should be seeing things and I can't.

Is color accuracy an artist concern thing or does this also mean stuff like Samsung taking unreal pictures on my phone, making irl purple things look pink vs Apple being more true to life?

Don't worry about going off the rails into too much detail, more is always better with stuff like this. :)

Computer q. For otherwise identical monitors, is a 4000:1 contrast ratio noticeably better from 1000:1? I don't mean for fancy art but like if I'm watching a movie, could I see the difference in a dark scene? I looked into oled's, but those are expensive and I think the way I use my stuff would cause burn in.

I hope you don't mind, but I got carried away and answered pretty much every computer monitor question anyone has ever had. And since this turned into a whole thing, I thought I'd share it for everyone to benefit.

For a computer monitor I would say the most important aspect is actually the viewing angle. This is how far off-axis you can look at the monitor before the image degrades.

We sit very close to our displays and at that distance, even a change in height in your chair can affect the image. Move a little bit left or right and a cheap display could completely wash out and look terrible. And if you get a display that is 27" or above, even if you sit dead center, the edges of the screen will appear dark and washed out with a bad viewing angle.

The two best display technologies to get a good viewing angle are IPS (in-plane switching) and OLED. If you are interested in a display without these technologies, be sure it has a decent viewing angle. You can read more about viewing angles here and here.

IPS has very little concern for burn-in, but it is still a concern with OLED. In recent years OLED has greatly improved and image retention and burn-in can be avoided with regular maintenance. Displays will have pixel shift features and noise modes that work out all the pixels evenly. You can run these features every once in a while to prevent burn-in. You can also play special anti-burn-in videos on YouTube (full screen) to exercise the pixels to uniformity.

So if you don't mind the hassle, you can manage an OLED with low risk.

That said, OLED was almost exclusively for TVs and has only recently been introduced for computer displays. The current options are quite large and fairly expensive, as you alluded to. So if you are trying to stay within a budget, it might be best to seek out an IPS display.

Another consideration is resolution. Everyone is obsessed with everything being 4K now. But I think increasing the resolution brings diminishing returns with regard to increased detail you can actually notice. So if you don't mind going with a 1440p monitor (about 2.5K), you can save some money on resolution and get higher quality in more noticeable areas. Personally, I feel 1440p gives you a nice, noticeable bump in detail over 1080p. Whereas going from 1440p to 4K (2160p) is less noticeable unless you have very good vision.

Another benefit to 1440p is that video games are much easier to run on high quality settings with a reasonable GPU. And you can use technologies like super sampling (Nvidia calls this DLSS) to increase the detail you may lose from not going 4K.

The only concern I'd have with not going 4K is if you edit 4K video. It will be difficult to do a pixel level analysis of your footage otherwise. But other than that, you can still watch 4K content on a 1440p monitor and because it is being downsampled, you will still notice a nice bump in detail.

So if you don't have a reason to get a 4K display, I think 1440p is worth considering.

The next concern would be color. Or color gamut. This is how many colors the display can accurately reproduce. If you don't do any art or video color grading, you'll at least want something that does 95 to 100% of sRGB. That is the color space the entire internet uses. And if you are going to be watching HDR movies, you might want a display with a decent percentage of the P3 color space as well. Doesn't need to be 100%, but the higher the better. And for those who do art, a good percentage of Adobe RGB is recommended.

Also, many manufacturers offer displays that come pre-calibrated from the factory. If color accuracy is important, I would seek out one of these displays with a Delta E rating of 3 or less (lower is better).

A newer factor in displays is peak brightness. This is measured in "nits." In standard dynamic range (SDR), video only needed to reach 100 nits. Most HDR content is mastered to reach 1000 nits. In the future, that number will be 4000. And if micro LED technology ever becomes affordable, we may go up to 10,000 nits. But almost everything is around 1000 at the moment, so that is a good number to shoot for.

HOWEVER, because HDR is tone mapped (the brightness of your display is factored in and the content is adjusted accordingly), you can still get some benefits of HDR, even if you cannot do the full 1000 nits.

All monitors can do 100 nits for SDR content. But with more things being displayed in HDR, having more nits will give you a better experience. This does not mean your display will blind you. Usually bright stuff only takes up a small portion of the screen. But having more nits allows highlights to really pop and feel immersive. A lightsaber might actually feel hot and dangerous on a bright enough screen.

Computer displays are often rated as HDR400 or HDR600 or HDR1000 based on their nits. The HDR400 isn't great for HDR content. If you can do 600 or above within your budget, you'll get a better experience. If you are going to watch movies, this may be a feature you prioritize.

I know you mentioned contrast ratio, but I'm afraid that is a little complicated to answer. It can depend on other aspects of the monitor and the viewing environment. So I'll try to give you the info you need to figure out if the display you select will suit your needs.

Manufacturers can use tricks to fudge their contrast ratio in product descriptions, so it is best to go to an independent review website like RTINGS to see what they measured. (They do good TV and monitor reviews too.) You'll see that OLED displays are said to have "infinite" contrast ratio, due to being able to turn off pixels completely. Which means it is probably time to move to a new metric because that gives very little info on the dynamic range of the display (the difference between the darkest and brightest thing it can show).

You definitely want a decent contrast ratio for your display, but this can be subjective. If you have a nice bright screen, your brain may feel the contrast is fantastic, even if the actual darkest black point of the monitor isn't great. If something is really bright, then dark things will *seem* darker by comparison. And if you are viewing in a dark environment, the contrast will look even better. So this is where seeking out a professional reviewer's experience of the monitor can be helpful. One monitor's 4000:1 ratio might be a different experience than another with the same measurement.

Because TVs are generally larger and can have more backlighting zones, they can get decent black levels without OLED. But smaller computer displays have more difficulty in reasonable price ranges. So manage your black level expectations if you go with an affordable IPS display. They can get bright, but they aren't great at blacks like OLED. I'm afraid that is just a limitation of the tech. In fact, getting a brighter display might be preferable to a better contrast ratio. And it will be easier to see if you are in a bright environment.

Most IPS displays are going to be between 1000:1 and 5000:1 and while it does make a difference, if you sit it next to an old plasma or an OLED, you're going to be disappointed. So I would not make contrast ratio a super high priority with IPS, because non-OLED computer displays just aren't going to give you inky blacks. I would say 2000:1 or better is going to give you a decent experience. But, again, I would seek out reviews rather than trust the official product specs when it comes to the quality of the blacks.

And one final consideration you may want to factor in is the refresh rate. This is mostly for gaming. Most displays will give you at least 60 Hz or 60 "refreshes" per second. Gamers tend to like 120 Hz or higher. This won't affect movie watching very much as nearly everything except Gemini Man is 24 fps.

TLDR overview...

Get an IPS or OLED display for a good viewing angle. I personally feel this is the most important feature.

Choose a resolution. 1440p can allow you to increase quality in other areas to maximize your budget. Only get 4K if you have a legit reason or you have fighter pilot vision.

Color gamut or number of colors. Try to get 100% of sRGB for web content, 90% or above of Adobe RGB for art/photography, and 90% or above of P3 for HDR movies and video editing.

If color accuracy is important, look for pre-calibrated displays that have a Delta E of 3 or less. (Lower is better)

HDR brightness. If you want to experience good HDR, you'll want the brightest screen possible (measured in nits). HDR600 or HDR1000 are great. If you don't care about HDR, then don't worry about the rating.

Contrast ratio and black levels. It's going to be meh on pretty much anything but OLED. 2000:1 or better is a good goal to shoot for, but be sure to check independent reviews for the subjective experience of the black levels. Dark viewing environments help too.

Refresh rate. 60 Hz is fine for most things. Gamers prefer 120 Hz or faster. And if you are a competitive gamer, you may want to seek out more info on "variable refresh rate" and "pixel response time."

Pick the variables above that seem most important to you and then seek out a display that does those things decently within your budget.

[jadequeen88]

Incel Tomura

I couldn’t think of a good title for this, so... I just went with something real blunt. Anyway, this was inspired by a friend and how she actually met her IRL boyfriend.

PAIRING: Incel!Shigaraki x egirl!reader

TW: face sitting, degradation, mommy kink, reader basically bullying Tomura (he deserves it)

3.2k~

AS ALWAYS MY FICS ARE STRICTLY 18+

“TCH!”

Tomura scoffed at the screen of his laptop. The Discord server he helped admin had gone to shit since he let that idiot Dabi loosen the requirements to join. It was one thing when Toga joined. He knew she was a decent gamer. But you? With those stereotypical cat-ear headsets, perfectly done make-up and short skirts? Please… He saw right through you. Just another fake ~uwu~ e-girl trying to pretend they knew what they were talking about.

It didn’t end with you being annoyingly informed in the gaming chat, either. You were always in the anime and manga chats, too… Suggesting different ones that there’s no way you actually enjoyed.

But the WORST part of you being in the server? Spamming the picture chat with selfies and outfit pics. No, it wasn’t against the guidelines and yes, you got lots of compliments (of course, you were clearly hot), but it made Tomura livid. Where there used to be pics of half-built PCs and screenshots of character upgrades, now there were endless pictures meant to tease and bait the guys in the server.

Today’s picture is what sent him completely over the edge. Your hair was put up in two messy space buns, signature pink cat-eared headset perched on your head. Your black, mesh top was straining against your tight, hot pink bra, barely hiding your cleavage and your slender neck was adorned with a chunky, black collar with a large, silver ring hanging from the front. The icing on the cake, though… the thing that broke him, was the face you were making. Eyes crossed, little pink tongue lolling past your perfect hot-pink lips, it was an obvious ahegao face. The caption read:

“New collar! Thank you for da gift @XxXknifey_wifeyXxX”

Followed by a bunch of annoying ass emojis.

Tomura shifted in his gaming chair, his growing bulge making his sweats tight. He gritted his teeth and opened his DMs…

******

You snickered as you opened your text chat with Dabi. Poor Tomura… He had no clue his friend was an old high school buddy of yours and sent screenshots every single time he bitched about your presence on the server. At first, it was just a couple of snide comments, but you quickly decided to turn it into a game. You’d add more emojis than you normally would, flirt shamelessly with Toga in the chat, and be very vocal with your opinions. Then it progressed with more and more selfies, pics showing off your new skirts, and pics of your pink, girly gaming setup. Today you pushed it with the ahegao face, you’ll admit. It was pretty out of character for you, but you couldn’t wait to hear about Tomura’s reaction from Dabi.

It was everything you hoped it would be:

Decay_666_

So can we give those bitches their own chat or what? Seriously, I’m sick of seeing their shit everywhere. Did you see her ahegao face selfie? This server was supposed to be for ACTUAL gamers, not fake e-girl sluts spamming the chat with their bullshit…

Cremation_Daddy

Lol, damn dude, calm down… we can make a separate chat. You’re the only one on the server complaining. Y/N really fucking you up that bad?

Decay_666_

Oh, fuck off… she’s just being an attention whore and it’s getting on my nerves.

Cremation_Daddy

Yeah, whatever you say. Prolly jerkin it to that selfie right now

You didn’t know why, but you kinda had a crush on the skinny loser. Knowing how worked up he’d get over the smallest things you did thrilled you. You wanted to know just how badly you affected him and today was the day you’d find out.

*****

Tomura heard a ping from his monitor alerting him to a new DM. expecting it to be Dabi giving him more shit, he scowled and clicked over to his Discord tab. When he saw that it was you DMing him, it was like someone had poured a bucket of ice water over his head. He could barely type he was so nervous.

Y/N

Hey :)

Decay_666_

Hi

Y/N

How did you like my new collar?

Tomura panicked. Had Dabi said something? There’s no way he’d do that. How did he even respond to that? He decided to feign ignorance.

Decay_666_

What collar?

Y/N

*image*

He audibly gasped. You sent him the selfie you’d posted in the chat earlier. Somehow, it was even hotter than the first time he’d seen it. Probably because you had sent it to him. You wanted to make sure he saw it. The thought alone made him painfully hard. He typed out a shaky response:

Decay_666_

Yeah… you look really pretty :)

He grimaced. He couldn’t think of anything clever when he was put on the spot like that. Plus, how long had it been since he’d spoken to a girl one on one? Much less a hot one? Never. That’s when.

Y/N

Aww, you’re so sweet :) wanna see it in person?

Now Tomura was wondering if he’d died and gone to heaven. Did she want to meet up? Wearing that fucking collar? There’s no way… He stared at the screen for a good ten minutes before another ping brought him back to reality.

Y/N

I’m free now if you are. Plus, there’s a new episode of *insert favorite anime* out and I didn’t wanna watch it alone.

Decay_666_

Yeah. Sure.

His response was almost uninterested but inside he was panicking. When was the last time he showered? How much time did he have to get ready? Did he even have any clean clothes? He leaped from his chair and ran to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Another ping rang out and he raced to check his DMs to see that you’d sent your address. To his surprise, you only lived a short walk from him. Another jolt of excitement shot through his spine as he quickly responded.

Decay_666_

Be over in 30 :)

He turned on the shower then started picking through his pile of clothes finding the ones that smelled the least offensive. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this nervous and excited at the same time.

*****

 Tomura shifted from one foot to the other, nervously scratching at the side of his neck. He caught himself before the skin there broke and he ended up having to deal with a bloody neck on top of already being a nervous wreck. He’d only been standing outside your apartment for a minute or two, but it felt like an eternity. He kept checking his phone to distract himself. Just as he was starting to question if this had been a good idea, the door flung open.

His eyes widened and his mouth turned into a thin line. You answered the door in a fucking towel. He began opening and closing his mouth like a fish that had been plucked from the water. You giggled innocently like it was perfectly normal to answer the door nearly naked.

“You’re here a little earlier than I expected! I just got out of the shower. Come on in,” you moved to the side to give him room to walk through the door into your small apartment. You were sure to not move completely out of the way so he’d have to almost brush against your chest. You could feel him stiffen and hold his breath as he passed by.

This was going to be so much fun…

*****

Tomura’s dick had been painfully hard the moment he’d seen you in that towel. Luckily, when you’d gone into your bedroom to get dressed, he was able to position it in his waistband so he wouldn’t be pitching a tent in front of you. The thought of you noticing him popping a boner just by looking at you in a towel was mortifying. 

However, what you decided to change into didn’t help his situation. Your baby pink terry cloth shorts would have shown the curve of your ass had it not been for the little row of ruffles around the bottom. Your tank top, the same baby pink color as your shorts, was pulled tight across your chest (holy shit, were you not wearing a bra?!). A fleeting glance at your chest proved to Tomura that you definitely were not wearing a bra.

“You can come on back,” you beckoned from the doorway of your bedroom, “I thought we’d be more comfortable in here…”

He gulped and rubbed his sweaty palms on his jeans before nodding and rising to walk towards you. Your room was foreign to him. Decorated with all shades of pink and purple, soft, plush bedding, and a soft pink glow emanated from the LED strip lights that lined the walls. Tomura stood awkwardly, looking around for a chair to sit in when you flopped onto your bed and began pulling up the streaming app on your tv. 

You looked up at him sweetly and patted the spot on the plush comforter next to you. “Come sit, Tomu! You don’t have to stand way over there. I don’t stink, ya know,” the wink you gave him made his knees buckle.

“Umm,” he chuckled nervously, “No, of course not. You, uhh… you smell…”

No, you were way too close. This was bad. There’s no way he would be able to string together a coherent thought, much less hold an actual conversation with you. You pout and lean in even closer to him.

“Tomuuuuu!” fuck, he hated that he loved that stupid nickname, “You think I smell?!”

“What?! N-no, not at all. I was trying to say that-”

Before he could finish his sentence, you tilted your head to the side offering up your neck for him to smell and he swears his eyes crossed as he tried to absorb what was happening.

“I even wore my new perfume! Go on, smell. Tell me what you think,” you smirk looking out of the corner of your eye.

Fuck.

You were teasing him, he knew you were, but his dick was so hard that he was completely at your mercy. He leaned in to take a tentative sniff and his eyes wandered lower. His breath hitched when he noticed the outline of your hardened nipples peeking through the thin material of your tank top. Before he knew what was happening, you turned your face forward and put your mouth next to his ear.

“Are you looking down my shirt, you pervert?” you purred. Tomura made some sort of incoherent noise and pulled away.

You laughed and pushed his shoulder playfully, “Geeze, I’m just kidding! You’re wound so tight.” you pause making a thoughtful face.

“Oh, I know how to help! Come on, over here,” you pulled him between your spread thighs and proceeded to rub his shoulders, working out all of the knots in his lean back.

After a few seconds, Tomura began to relax into your touch, slumping slightly and letting out a tiny sigh. He was deathly still the entire time you massaged him. He was terrified if he moved too much that his raging boner would free itself from his waistband. When your hands left his shoulders, he started to move away just to be pulled back into your lap. His head landed in your cleavage as your hands trailed down his chest. 

“Hmm, so tense, Tomu,” you whispered into the crown of his hair, “Is my massage not working?”

He wanted to yell that of course he was tensed up. That his dick is the hardest it’s ever been in his life and if he doesn’t hold as still as possible, he’s scared he might start humping the air like a pathetic dog. Before he can answer, your hand trails down to the waistband of his jeans, and he freezes. The tips of your fingers brush across his leaking tip and Tomura lets out a low, needy moan before he can stop himself.

“Just what I thought,” you purred as you began to trail your fingers up and down the hard bulge in his jeans, “Pathetic. Look at you, so fucking hard for me. And all I did was rub your shoulders.” He wanted to defend himself, but all he could do was whine as his eyes rolled in the back of his head while you continued touching him through his jeans.

“And to think, I never thought you’d want anything to do with some fake bimbo like me. Because I only game and watch anime for attention, right?” you squeeze his cock through his jeans, causing him to yelp. “Well? What do you have to say for yourself, incel? Wanna tell me why your dick is this hard for me if I’m so annoying to you?”

The realization that Dabi had told you everything flitted through the back of his mind, but he didn’t have room in his brain right then to be mad at him. He had to do whatever he needed to do to keep you touching him.

“I, ahh... I’m s-sorry,” he stuttered pathetically. The front of his jeans was wet from your teasing and the denim was rubbing him raw through his thin boxers, “D-didn’t, fuck, didn’t mean it like… ahh, l-like th-that.”

You loved how easily you could wreck him. You pet his hair back from his sweaty brow as you cooed at him lovingly.

“You know,” you removed your hand from the front of his jeans and he whined from the lack of friction, “You really hurt my feelings, baby. I thought you were so cool and the whole time, behind my back, you said just mean things about me.”

He sat up and turned to face you. His pathetic, needy gaze shot straight to your core. The power you held made you drunk and you desperately wanted more.

“No, no no no…” he grabbed your hands and you realized how clammy they were, “I’m-I’m so sorry. Please! Please…”

“Hmm,” you studied him for a moment, “Well… There might be a way you could make me feel a little better.” you tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, “You were so mean to me.”

“Anything! Please! I-I’ll do anything for you!” desperation started creeping in, thinking you’d leave him hanging with no relief. Little did he know, you had no intention of letting him go any time soon. Your plush lips curled into a devious smile. A soft hand reached up cupping his jaw.

“What a good boy, Tomu,” a tremor passed through his body. You reached over to your nightstand and pulled out the collar you’d taken the selfie in. 

“You know,” the collar danced between your painted nails, “This also came with a leash. I was thinking,” your lust-filled eyes meet his, “If you wanted to be a good boy for me… You’d let me see how pretty it looks around your neck.”

Tomura hesitated, his eyes rapidly moving between your eyes and the collar you held. After a moment of consideration, he nodded. You giggled and clapped your hands together excitedly leaping off the bed. You returned with a short, chain-link leash.

“Now,” you leaned in and fastened the collar around his neck. Your bodies were centimeters apart and Tomura thought he might pass out, “When you’re wearing your collar, you don’t call me Y/N,” you nudge his ear with your nose and whisper, “You call me ‘Mommy.’ Do you understand?” you feel him nod against your face.

“That’s not how good boys answer their Mommy. When you answer me, you say, ‘Yes Mommy’ or ‘No Mommy.’ Is that clear?”

“Y-yes… Mommy.”

“Mmm, what a good boy,” you placed a soft kiss on his neck and he let out the most delicious whimper. You hooked a finger through the ring on the front of the collar, “You’re gonna go sit in Mommy’s gaming chair and let her use you as a toy. Okay?” 

Tomura’s head was spinning and he almost couldn’t answer until you jerked him by his collar, “Y-yes, Mommy. Please, please make me your toy.”

You stood and dragged him over to your chair and made him sit, “What a polite boy you are! Saying ‘please’ without being asked. If you keep that up, you just might get a reward,” his belt buckle rattled as you worked his jeans down his narrow hips. 

A ragged breath escaped his chapped lips as you removed your tiny shorts revealing a black, lace thong. You straddled his lap, your dripping slit hovering a centimeter over the angry, leaking head of his cock. His hands shook as you placed them on your hips and slowly moved your thong to the side. Descending an inch at a time, only teasing his tip, was causing him to come undone underneath you.

“You’re already so close and I’ve only put the tip in. You better be a good boy and not come until I tell you to or you’re going to be punished,” you pushed another couple of inches inside and he nearly wept.

“I-I’m trying, M-mommy! I wanna be a good boy!”

“Mmm, I know, baby. You’re doing so,” another inch, “So…” and another, “Well.” you were fully seated on his cock now. Tomura knew he wouldn’t last. Your velvet walls were sucking him down harder than anything ever had before. It made his fleshlight feel like it was made of sandpaper. You had ruined him for anything else. 

With a few rolls of your hips and some high, airy moans, he was about to bust. “Mommy! Mommy, please! I-I’m g-gonna…”

“Tomu,” your voice was authoritative now, “If you come in Mommy’s pussy, I’m going to make you clean it out with your tongue then I’m going to sit on your face until I come as many times as I want.” your hand wrapped around his throat and you started bouncing on his cock. Your filthy words and aggressive motions catapulted him into an orgasm.

“You bad, BAD boy,” a smack to his cheek broke off his moans, “You disobeyed me! Did you do that on purpose?” your hand around his neck flexes, “Are you just a dirty incel that wants Mommy to get mean with you? Answer, Tomu!”

“Yes, Mommy!”

“Tell Mommy what you are…”

“I-I’m a-a… dirty incel.”

“And what do you want?”

“W-want… want Mommy to b-be mean to me…”

You lift him by the collar and attach the leash. He’s thrown onto the bed and you waste no time hovering your dripping slit over his face.

“Now,” you jerk the leash, “Clean up your mess.”

Tomura knew he should be disgusted right now, but his dick was getting harder by the second. With each lick inside your sloppy hole, he shamelessly moaned against your skin. The vibrations were going straight to your clit, causing you to ride his face harder. This went on until you’d almost reached your peak.

“Oh, baby,” you’re making Mommy feel so, so good, “I-I’m gonna…”

Tomura grabbed your ass and moved you back and forth on his face as he sucked your clit into his mouth. Your orgasm hit hard and fast. You lifted your body giving him a moment to breathe before sitting back down, earning a startled mumble from him.

“Don’t think that’s all,” you laughed and humped his face, making his eyes roll into the back of his head, “Be a good boy and mommy might even let you come…”

Tomura only nodded as he began to eat you again like he was starved. Maybe all the stuff you posted in the Discord server wasn’t so annoying anymore...

[yurileclercseyeliner]

So. I decided that since we’re a few hours away from the new banner from dropping, I would do some manefestation. I deicded to copy Yuri’s makeup. Is it perfect? No. But I like it. So this is a completely not asked for mini-tutorial of what I did.

First: No, I did not try to copy what Alejandro Saab/the person who eventually fixed his makeup did in the Anime Impulse video. It was a fun video but it was hard to really gather what to do from it due to the chaotic nature of it, plus I don’t own the same palette bc 1. it’s expensive as fuck and I am a college student who currently doesn’t have a job and 2. I would rather not purchase anything from Jeffree Starr on account of his rather…icky behavior that has come further into light over the past few months. So i just pulled up his pre-timeskip portrait and copied it the best I could with what I have.

Second: I am absolutely not a professional. I think I’m semi-decent at makeup but that comes from a decent amount of trial and error and smacking colors on my face and hoping that it works. This is what worked for me, and since everyone’s face is different, results may vary.

Now here’s the sort of tutorial!

Products recommended/used:

Makeup Revolution Reloaded Euphoria Palette (it’s pretty good for $8.00, if you already have a palette with shades similar to what I used then you can go ahead and use that instead)

Eyeshadow primer (the writing on mine faded a bit so I can’t really tell you what exactly I used, but if you can PLEASE use primer for this if you are using the previously mentioned palette, certain shades that I used don’t show up well if you aren’t putting it on on top of primer.)

Eyeshadow Brush and a Small Angled Brush (I used the Eyeshadow “C” Brush and the Small Angled Brush from e.l.f.)

Here’s the diagram I made (the program I used doesn’t have color picker so I just matched the best I could. The colors on the palette are numbered in the order of use. Also I promise that it looks better in real life than it does on the diagram, I just can’t draw. I would show an irl picture of it but I would rather not post anything that involves my face, even if it is super close up). I’ll include written instructions underneath.

Before applying eyeshadow: Get a little bit of primer (a little goes a long way!) and pat it on you eyelids and crease (the crease is the area between your eyelid and browbone). This helps the eyeshadow stay for longer and helps the pigments be more visible!

1. Take your eyeshadow brush and get some of the light purple shade in the top right corner and dust it onto your eyelids.

2. Wipe off your eyeshadow brush and use it again to get some of the hot pink shade that is to the right of the bottom left corner shade and lightly dust it on top of the light purple.

3. Wipe off your eyeshadow brush again and use it to get some of the purple shade in the bottom left corner and dust it into the crease of your eye.

4. Now to line your eyes (I didn’t draw this part on bc the lashes on the diagram I’m using were too thick to show anything). Tbh this is more of an optional step, and there are multiple ways that you can do this, but what I did is that I took my small angled brush and used the black in the bottom left corner to line my eyes along the top lashline. If you’re feeling risky then you can try to wing the eyeliner too. Alternatively you could also use a pencil eyeliner, or if you want a darker and sharper line you could use a felt-tip eyeliner pen or liquid eyeliner.

And yeah that’s what I did! Hopefully this might help get Yuri home, I hope y’all liked this and happy summoning!

[xxcureangelxx]

5, 9, 10, 13, 20, 21, 24, 25, 28, 30-35, 38-42, 44-46, 50, 52, 54, 60-62, 66, 71-74, 86-91, 96, 100! 😊

okay I literally have no clue how old this is and if I'm even taking the questions from the right post but here goes I guess? 🙈

<u>5. What is your favorite Color?</u>

PURPLE

<u>9. How tall are you?</u>

about 1,70 meters or 5'7"

<u>10. What shoe size are you?</u>

size 40-41, I think that's about 8 in US sizes?

<u>13. What talents do you have?</u>

uhhh good question... not sure if it counts but I guess I'm quite good at a lot if things but can't do anything extraordinarily well?

<u>20. Are you religious?</u>

Absolutely not. Due to family history and a lot of other things I'm actually against it a lot but people can do whatever they feel like is right for them as long as they don't harm others with it.

<u>21. Have you ever been to the hospital?</u>

Yes, quite a lot actually. practically grew up in hospitals as a baby because of kidney issues, broke both my legs with 4 years old, had to revisit for tests a lot during my childhood because of the kidney issue. it calmed down afterwards until I was back in hospital last year because of my terrible mental health and I'm currently in a rehabilitation clinic for it as well.

<u>24. Baths or showers?</u>

Shower's because we don't have a bathtub

<u>25. What color socks are you wearing?</u>

currently none, I love going barefoot, but usually I wear white, gray or black. I know... I'm a bad gay.. no rainbow socks (;ŏ﹏ŏ)

<u>28. What type of music do you like?</u>

you know.... I hate this question with a passion even though I love music so I'll just throw in my yt-playlist here and everyone who's interested can look through it to get a picture xD not sorted in any way and not a conclusive list at all, I just add songs as I find them

<u>30. How many pillows do you sleep with?</u>

mostly just one at a time but I've got two different ones. one is the normal fluffy kinda pillow, the other is made of some kinda foam material and rather thin.

<u>31. What position do you usually sleep in?</u>

I'm always lying on the side! have been doing that since I was a baby too.

<u>32. How big is your house?</u>

compared to what? 🙈 I'd say decent size for 5 people to live in, would have space for 1-2 more if rooms were used differently but definitely not enough to comfortably live with 12 or even more people like my family used to. we've got like 3 proper sleeping rooms (one of which is the attic so not very nice in terms of heat and the staircase is smack in the middle of the room), a kitchen, a dining room, a big living room, a tiny bathroom that barely fits a toilet and shower, and the basement is a mix of storage, electrics and stuff, washing room/utility room and it's got another smaller room that's been turned back into a small workshop but used to be the room of my brother and later my grandmother.

<u>33. What do you typically have for breakfast?</u>

I guess this is where it shows that I'm german but we usually just eat bread (preferably whole grain) with cheese or slices of salami or ..meat sausage? is that a proper translation? 🤨 idk... it's rather simple really. on the weekend maybe buns and boiled eggs. on the occasion that I'm too tired for it or don't have enough time I eat cereals but it's not very common when I'm at work/school

<u>34. Have you ever fired a gun?</u>

No, and I don't want to

<u>35. Have you ever tried archery?</u>

Yes!! I did last year when I was in the hospital and it was super fun! was quite good at it as well, even for my first try 😤

<u>38. What's the longest you've ever gone without sleep?</u>

I think about 3 days? if we count "barely unconscious for a few hours" as sleep that is... otherwise no clue...my memory of the bad sleepless time is quite hazy lol

<u>39. Do you have any scars?</u>

yeah, quite a few tbh. got 2 huge ones from surgeries due to my kidney issues, well they look like 2 but it's actually multiple ones since they simply cut open party of the old ones again, tiny hooman apparently have very little skin. then I got some other ones here and there from accidents, general dumbness, etc, like when I cut through my sunday morning bun and almost cut half of the tip of my finger off because my mother sharpened the knife and didn't tell me or that time as a kid I couldn't wait for my ironing pearl pictures to be done and burned myself on the hot iron, mostly stuff like that.

<u>40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?</u>

I mean.. if they're a secret... how would I know? ;) not sure if it counts that it took me months to realize I had a crush on my best friend and the feelings were reciprocated and I was too blind to see the signs?

<u>41. Are you a good liar?</u>

Nope. People actually think I'm lying more often than I lie... so.... :/

<u>42. Are you a good judge of character?</u>

I'm.. honestly not sure what this one means? like, am I able to judge what kind of character a person has after barely meeting them or smth? if so, I'm terrible at it

<u>44. Do you have a strong accent?</u>

in german? nope. in english? hmm hard to judge since I rarely hear myself speak. I think the stuff I do know how to pronounce is mostly okay but since I learned it through reading I'm simply unsure of a lot of pronunciations. 'also'.... I can not for the life of me pronouns that word no matter how many times I hear it... it's kinda become a quirk after some classmates pointed it out to me and I'm incredibly aware how terrible I say the word but.... just can't get rid of it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

<u>45. What is your favorite accent?</u>

I.. actually really love the way my best friend talks? 👉👈 they're french btw. just... typical me for struggling to understand them though, already terrible at it in german too...

<u>46. What is your personality type?</u>

honestly, I don't think I can answer that. I'm big on self loathing and everything's pretty shitty so, no thanks

<u>50. Left or right handed?</u>

Right handed. but does it even count id I'm bad at doing things with that hand too? lol

<u>52. Favorite food?</u>

hmmmm tough question... not the biggest fan of food in general a lot of the time... probably Züricher Geschnetzeltes

<u>54. Are you a clean or a messy person?</u>

Definitely messy. my allergies did not like this post trying to clean and tidy up more often though. my depression does not like this post either

<u>60. Do you talk to yourself?</u>

sometimes. quite a bit when watching movies or if I mess stuff up

<u>61. Do you sing to yourself?</u>

barely. got a lot of bad experiences with that so i keep my singing to a minimum. my shower is a great listener though

<u>62. Are you a good singer?</u>

I was in a choir for a few years when I went to 'middle school' and I had like one solo part once but other than that I can't really say because I barely ever sing in front of people

<u>66. Do you like long or shor hair?</u>

this question is currently my absolute nemesis.. I've got suuuper duper long hair and have had it ever since elementary school and I used to be super happy with it and sometimes I still am happy with it but other days, depending on where I'm at genderwise, I absolutely hate it and I just want to take the closest scissors and cut it all off... currently haven't had the guts to look for new hair styles though... but in other people? or women more specifically? I love long hair 🥺

<u>71. What makes you nervous?</u>

Or the shorter question: what doesn't make me nervous... I'd say pretty much everything has got the potential to make me nervous. I'm an overthinker, anxiety is a big thing for me and ptsd makes me scared of almost everything. so.. yeah... sucks to be me sometimes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

<u>72. Are you scared of the dark?</u>

Yes, very

<u>73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?</u>

I try not to but sadly I sometimes do, even if it's not my place to. I really don't like that part and hope I'll be able to learn not to sometime

<u>74. Are you ticklish?</u>

Yes and I hate it 😭

<u>86. What are you allergic to?</u>

again, easier question: what am I not allergic to... it's... a lot... like, really a lot. with the test on the skin of my arm I reacted to every single substance and the more thorough blood test lead to much of the same result. the absolute worst are birch trees (pitty, love those), then the usual pollen of pretty much every tree or flower, all animals with fur or feathers, dust and... yeah list goes on and on, you get the picture... :/

<u>87. Do you keep a journal?</u>

no.. have tried to multiple times in the past but never made it more than a week... too depressing to write and read... the therapist at the rehab clinic is currently forcing me to try a positivity diary for the millionths time, can't even get that done each day even though I'm doing it on my phone and get notifications to do it each evening...

<u>88. What do your parents do?</u>

making my life hell lol.. okay on a serious note, my father was a car electrician, he's retired by now, my mother is a housewife, she used to work different jobs before her first kid, later on she took care of my grandmother who was suffering from dementia, got some money and retirement points for that too.

<u>89. Do you like your age?</u>

I-... I don't know? it's weird because I both feel a lot younger and a lot older than I am rn....

<u>90. What makes you angry?</u>

another tough question... I actually have anger issues in that way that I'm barely capable of feeling anger... used to be worse but I already worked a lot on it in therapy so there's at least some there now... in the past I simply started to cry and felt overwhelmed by sadness whenever I was supposed to feel anger... so I can't tell very well what makes me angry because I first have to realize that I'm feeling anger or more like should be feeling it....

<u>91. Do you like your own name?</u>

Not really, no, but I guess I finally figured out some reasons why.. I've recently started going by a bit of a different name too but only my closest friends know so far and I'm not sure if I'll be using it irl at all..

<u>96. How did you get your name?</u>

I'm still trying to get my mother to admit that she named me after this song but she keeps denying it.. she's a fan of this band so it would have fit.. but she keeps saying she just liked the name, no long thought process behind it..

my chosen name is a bit of a different story. an ex friend I got to know through yt gave me that nickname almost 10 years ago after I complained that you can't make a shorter nickname out of my birthname and it's also the name of s character I like, especially his voice, and... idk it just feels more gender neutral and I simply feel comfortable with it. it just fit.

<u>100. Color of your room?</u>

same as question 5: Purple 🥰 or... well half the walls are purple, the other half is white

phew... can't believe I made it through all of these....

in case people haven't noticed yet, I'm currently kinda getting back into tumblr? I think I've already stayed a lot longer than any times I tried getting back before. it mostly started because we've got super bad wifi at the clinc I'm at rn and reddit takes up waaayy too much mobile data and... idk, I guess I just missed the vibe of tumblr

I'm not sure how long I'll be able to stick around but we'll see

[deathvsthemaiden]

🌻

Congrats! You have won access to a list of some of my most random thoughts in recent memory! Enjoy maybe (advance apologies for not linking any sources to any of the half remembered fun facts...don’t take them too seriously I never know what I’m taking abt 😬🤗)

•If you’re talking loud enough for people to hear you without trying or meaning or wanting to...it doesn’t count as eavesdropping!! @/my mother I am innocent! Learn some volume control 📢

•The older I get the more toxic and alienating I find the commonplace turn of phrase “I’d forget my head if it wasn’t attached!” Why is that painted as a bad thing...... 🥺💔❓I’d loveeee to forget my head. Just a few times. 👌🏽 As a treat.

•excluding the obvious, such as slurs, my least favorite words in the English language are landlocked (hideous reminder of my geographic state of affairs), and kismet. The latter is just so uglyyyyy the original language(s) it’s derived from make it sound so much better why can’t we just say kismat! I speak Urdu so I’m biased but like—

•I emphathize with fish an odd amount. I’ll eat them gladly and w gusto but I also find the level of suffering they’re allowed to feel staggering. It blindsides me. Blob fish used to (actually still do) freak me OUT!! Like my sister would scare me by showing me pictures of them w no warning. But apparently the reason they look the way they do is normally they live like 2000-4000 ft underwater and the decrease in water pressure as they’re drug up to the surface misshapes and deforms them and apparently this is very painful?? Even if it isn’t tho...the first time I read that. Immediate tears sprung into my eyes. And apparently some fish can choose to commit suicide? Like they just stop swimming and eating... god oh my god—!! They’re FISH!! Why are they so COMPLICATED!!! And I used to own a tank full of fish and usually fish don’t last long in our house! Rancid vibes you know? And my mom and I were so pleased these ones had lasted so long!! And then mysteriously they all just died too?? We did everything RIGHT! It was probably more than 2 years ago and we keep saying we’ll get more fish but I just don’t have the heart...I’m.....not ready to get hurt again so soon.

•apparently purple marble is/was a thing that exists. But the Romans used it up? Wild if true

•can’t stop thinking abt how elegant FGO!Bedivere would look in fencing gear

•My parents almost named me Sumbal

•You know how B&N has special gilded hardback editions of various classics? I will never forgive them for making their edition of Jane Eyre black/grey and WHITE!! MONOCHROME and BLEAK!! (Just bc it’s gothic!!!) It’s one of the most colorful books I’ve ever read!!! It swept me off my FEET! During the happiest parts of the book everything in my line of sight irl was GOLDEN I was in literal actual and true LOVE!!! I fell a-freshly in love w life bc of how much this book delighted me and they swaddle her in black and WHITE?? I can’t deal gentle reader I cannot deal—

•I have mixed feelings about poetry but I have a soft spot for The Tiger is out yes (you know the one, by the little boy? the ENERGY!!)+e. e. cumming’s The Grasshopper. On average poetry doesn’t make sense to me but grasshopper is the sort of (non)sense which I’m capable of appreciating. I dream of having a voice controlled fancy robot try to kill me so I can tell it to recite grasshopper and then it just explodes in confusion bc you can’t do that (recite grasshopper) 🐅 🤖

•I’ve lost track of the # of years I’ve waited in vain for Shoukoku no Altair to be localized and have official (physical!) English copies available for purchase, instead of just ebooks. Since the forgettable and upsettingly bad anime adaptation I’m afraid it’ll never happen ever...💔 I ache and yearn for naught but idk how to stoppp 😭

•The Cr*wn of L*ve by John Everett Millais is one of my most favorite paintings but I’m like. Embarrassed about it 👑 @my brain WHY. When did I become such a s*ppy gremlin. I blame ur fics and Jane Eyre Eve 😑 I was firmly in the ‘romance is a neurochemical con job’ camp just years before courtesy of my upbringing....what have I become 😶😶😶

•nothing screams “I hate you” like not appreciating+wasting food and also not returning the favor ever like it’s not a zero sum game but god is a little reciprocity too much to ask yes it is and yes I am sensitive and have been hurt before why do you as—🤐

•purposely vague but sometimes I wonder if I’d been one of those kids who put her head down on her desk in elementary school a lot and stopped listening to teachers whilst doing so maybe life, academically speaking, would go smoother for me now. But I was too afraid of getting in trouble and not yet the full fledged quitter you do (not literally) see before you today. Although the urge to put my head down wasn’t one I never felt...Missed opportunities alas

•I used to be able to handle spending any length of time in those mesmerizing aquarium tunnels and even enjoy myself in them but I’m now a more fragile and wise gal and can not even look at pictures w/o feeling intense WHJDNDNDND idek. They’re scary man. 🌊

•one of my favorite fun facts ever is this painter in 1881, Edward Burne-Jones finally realized mummy brown paint actually had bits of real mummies in it when having lunch with friends and was so unnerved he tried to give his tube of the paint a burial immediately. Like immmmeditately. (read this like a year ago in The Secret Lives of Color by Kassia St. Clair) 🎨 📖

[nsre]

nsre activity ideas 🍼

♡ play dress up! ♡

wear your cutest outfit and take cute pics or dress your stuffies too! (optional: do this with friends or cgs!!)

make it cute or funny!!! wear something you love or make a crazy clothes combination!!

♡ decorate something! ♡

fun fact: kiddos love to make things cute and pretty! so why don’t you use those stickers you’ve been thinking about using? put them on your phone case, your journal, a piece of paper and make a scene with them, your paci, your bottle, your backpack, heck even put them on your face and decorate yourself!!

♡ organize a stuffie meeting! ♡

okay stuffies. it’s time to talk! gather all your stuffed animals, and set them up in a big group with you in the center. take cute pictures of your stuffies, or play a pretend game where you have a party, a tea party, or an official stuffie business meeting. you can take notes on a piece of paper, make everyone name tags, or set up an even bigger space where the stuffies can be doing things! for example, using a little chair and desk you can pretend your stuffies are at school!

or for lots of fun, gather all your stuffies on a bed or soft surface, and JUMP IN THEM!!! it’s really fun and stuffies are cuddly! just be careful!

♡ tiny friend play date! ♡

meet up with another tiny friend like you and go somewhere fun where you can be small together! or invite them for a sleepover and make it a classic kiddo sleepover: prepare lots of snacks in advance, get the disney movies ready, break out the sleeping bags, get stuffies and toys ready for fun sleepover pretend games!

don’t have a tiny friend irl? no problem!! because tiny play dates can be organized online!! the best place for this is discord! make a server for your play date and invite as many friends as you want! to go on an adventure together, share pictures and stories of your favorite places and talk all about them. or go somewhere on your own and bring your tiny friends along by taking pictures of your surroundings and telling them all about the experience!! wanna have a sleepover too?? perfect!! plan to stay up tonight with your tiny friends on your sever and organize some fun things! share pictures of stuffies, spooky stories, play music, watch movies on rabb.it, and you can even roleplay a game as your toys and stuffies!!

♡ play online games! ♡

there’s so many fun games to play online that can make you feel small!! sometimes it’s enough to sit down with a laptop, ipad, or phone, cuddled with your stuffies and favorite blankie and play an exciting or relaxing game!!

♡ if you have a cg, plan a special tiny day! ♡

it’s common knowledge that having a special tiny day with your cg is lots of fun!!! you may not be able to go somewhere fancy, but you can even make the most of your time with your cg at home!! set up a play area for you to have lots of fun together with all your toys and tiny things!! have a movie night!! play games together!!

if you can’t see your cg irl, you can still plan a special tiny day!! actively talk to your cg and maybe voice call! play pretend together and watch movies together on rabb.it!! make a comfy space for yourself on your bed or floor while you watch movies and/or talk to your cg for a cozy and happy tiny day!!

♡ draw and color! ♡

should i even explain it?! drawing and coloring are the best things ever!! it’s a good way to express your creativity and use some crayons!!!! crayons are awesome!!!

draw something for someone you love and admire!

color something to hang up in your room or on your fridge!

color something to share on tumblr and show all your tiny friends!!

♡ prepare an awesome meal! ♡

it may not sound like something for lil ones to do, but if supervised, cooking while small can be lots of fun!! helping a cg, friend or family member cook when you’re tiny can make you feel like you’re learning so much and being helpful!

making desserts is probably the most fun for this!!

making a really yummy meal to put on little dishes is really cute too!!

♡ create a journal! ♡

make a lil time journal! draw, color and decorate in it to your tiny heart’s content!! make sections to write about all your favorite things! stick photos on the inside of your stuffies, or of your friends, or of your cg!!! use it to express yourself and have lots of fun with it!!

come up with daily or weekly topics to write about! make fun categories! make a section where you draw pictures of your dream room!!

♡ do activity worksheets! ♡

you can find these everywhere! just look up school worksheets online, or go to your local dollar store and pick up a kid’s school activity book!

you can print the worksheets out from online or you can use an editing app on your phone like phonto or picsart to do them!

these are beneficial for staying small and still learning and testing your baby knowledge!! you’re super smart so i’m sure it’ll be lots of fun!

♡ take a bubble bath! ♡

it sounds simple but yet... bubble baths are so much more than getting clean!! bring your favorite bath toys, put in lots of bubble soap, bring a bath fizzy! or color changing bath tablets! or bathtub wall paint or crayons!!

turn bathtime into the ultimate tiny playplace!! make yourself a hat out of bubbles, or blow them everywhere and see how they fall like snow!!

play with your bath toys and make them hide in the bubbles!! they live in a bubble castle!!!

if you turned the water red or purple, pretend it’s a scary murky lake and the toys have to get across it safely using a bottle of shampoo as a raft!!!! will they get across?!?

♡ anything you love to do! ♡

this is incredibly vague for a reason! because you know exactly what you love to do! so go do it!!!

make that painting you’ve been wanting to paint, write that story or poem, try that new food, plan that adorable lil photo shoot, reach out and make lil friends, be yourself, get those stuffies you’ve always wanted, make that cozy tiny corner in your room, dance around in your socks (but be careful)! just do whatever you love to do and be yourself while doing it!!

don’t hold yourself back, and don’t limit yourself! try new things and do what makes you happiest!

[fanaticfangirl001]

The One and Only Ms.Mercury pt 2

Rami x reader (Freddie’s daughter)

Author’s note: Let’s do this guys! 

Vocab words: Take away- delivery food. (In the Uk you can get more than pizza delivered) 

Also for future reference:  Dad refers to Freddie, Papa refers to Jim. 

Ps: This one seemed short, but it also seemed natural to stop it there. 

Thought you guys might enjoy this.

@queen-irl-af

@kiillerqueeen

@rami-malek-trash

*I guess I’ll use the same gif because the other gifs aren’t loading. 

Y/n kicks off her shoes near the front door and goes up the stairs to her room. She flops onto her bed and picks up her sketchbook from the night stand. Grabbing a pencil she sketches a simple drawing of her dad’s, based off a picture inside a little pink frame that’s laying on her desk. Y/n is sitting on Freddie’s lap. Both of them are wearing plastic tiaras and feather boas,eating cake. It’s from her second birthday.

 Her art style has varied during her four years on YouTube but it typically stays within a cartoon like style, roundish characters with thick outlines. Many of her professors hated the style but she never really cared what they said, as most of the artwork that they preferred were sad people, or too pretentious for Y/n’s liking. She didn’t really show many people her artwork offline in “real life” due to many of their “criticisms”. 

Y/n sets down her sketchbook, and walks over to her cabinet of art supplies, mostly gifted to her by the companies for reviewing it, or from art subscription boxes. She pulls out two watercolor palettes one for the skin tones, and another for bright metallic neons. Y/n tosses some fine liner markers onto her bed followed by the pallet. 

She drops herself onto the bed and starts erasing the lines lightly so she can line them with the markers. Rolling the kneaded eraser in her hands, Y/n starts thinking: This movie is going to change things. The only reason I’m not hounded by reporters is because I stay in and stay out of the spotlight. Me helping on this movie, thrusts me into some spotlight. I’m also a woman so there’s that added pressure. 

Y/n puts down her eraser and closes her sketchbook. She walks to the bathroom and stares into the mirror. She rubs the bottom of her chin, bumpy due to the acne that wanted to stick around and takes the pony-tail holder out of her hair. Spotlight, do I need an esthetician, or a glam squad when I leave the house? Am I British Kardashian? I mean I have the ass of one, and that’s from take-away. Are people going to expect me to dress like my dad? 

Y/n shakes her head of all the crazy thoughts and started the water for a nice soothing bath. She finds the four bath bubblers from Lush and crumbles them under the faucet. The bubbles and foam threaten to overfill the tub. Y/n strips off her jumper and jeans. She carefully sinks into the bath. Her phone rings to the custom ring meaning that her Uncle John is calling. Y/n carefully stands up and grabs her phone. 

“How was the business dinner?” John asks once Y/n picks up. 

“You knew.” Y/n says exasperated shaking her head. 

“You didn’t?” John adds. 

“Nope, disguised it like a family dinner. There’s gonna be a Queen movie, by the way.” Y/n adds. 

“Are you going to be on set?” John asks. 

“No I’m just gonna let them fuck my dad’s image up the arse.” Y/n sasses her uncle. 

“Language Y/n, who the fuck taught you those words.” John sasses back. 

“Did you just want to sass your niece or is there a reason for this lovely phone call?” Y/n asks 

“Luke said you seemed upset after the dinner, and I wanted to check up on you.” John says. 

“Uncle John, you’re getting sappy.” Y/n teases. 

“Let a grouchy old man care about his niece, who needs to visit him more.” John replies. 

“I’m sensing you also want me to visit because I made chocolate cake and brought it the last time.” Y/n muses. 

“Call it a consolation prize.” John offers. 

“Are you saying that you were suffering because my presence was not there.” Y/n says dramatically. 

“Severely.” John sasses her with his dramatics. 

“I’ll come by more.” Y/n adds, “ With cake.” 

The typical goodbyes are said and Y/n hangs up the phone to enjoy the rest of her bubble bath. 

She carefully gets out and grabs a towel to dry off, then puts on a fluffy purple robe. 

I need to edit, record a voice over, and then go back to the drawing. 

Y/n walks over to her desk and sits down ready to edit. The video she filmed yesterday is a review of a subscription box and using the art supplies in it. The sketch went well but as she went on to color it, something seemed off and it looked better in black and white. This sometimes happened when she worked with a supply she wasn’t familiar with like makers. She speed up the sketching and erasing portion of the video and shortened the thirty minutes of drawing down to fifteen minutes, including the initial opening and swatching of the materials. Y/n takes a sip of water and plugs in her microphone to record her commentary. 

She begins introducing the video and its main contents being the box and the challenge of using all the materials in it to make something. Y/n during the swatching section says the colors of markers: a mustard yellow, olive green, and a cranberry red might be a little difficult to use together, and that she isn’t very comfortable with markers but she’ll make the best of it. The first idea for her challenge is to draw a person but every practice attempt was erased because she didn’t like the head, or the proportions. 

Y/n finally decided on drawing a badger wearing a  yellow bobble-hat, sitting on a moss covered log, eating berries. Her commentary ranged from artistic decisions, to wonder what badgers actually eat, or if a badger could comprehend the color yellow and all it’s majesticness. Most people that watch her videos enjoy her ramblings in the background as they see a piece go from a brainstorm to a finished project, because she seems so genuine and a little odd. Y/n signs off from her video in the traditional way with “ Stay weird, Stay Mad, and always draw with Mercury.” 

She chose the name Drawing With Mercury, for two reasons: one, Y/n’s favorite Disney movie has always been Alice in Wonderland, especially for the character, Mad Hatter, and two, she wanted to use her last name since, it’s a pretty cool last name, and you only live once. She uploaded her first video and received a warm welcome from her subscribers. In the beginning there were a few mean comments but they weren’t about her appearance as she only showed her hands in her videos. 

Y/n splices the audio with the video and rewatches herself draw, erase, draw again, ink, then color her drawing. She uploads the video and waits for it to be complete which for this video and with her wifi connection it would take around an hour. She opens her sketchbook back to the drawing of her birthday with Dad and takes out her water color pallet. Dipping her water brush pen into the paint, a small tear dripped from her eyes, fell from her cheek and onto the corner of the page. 

“I miss you, Dad.” Y/n says to no one as she fills in his face with color. 

There was no copying the photograph perfectly. Freddie in the pictures, looking down at his messy daughter with chocolate cake on her face, his face shows nothing but adoration and pure happiness. It was his idea for a princess party, since every Sunday the three of them would have tea parties and Y/n always loved dressing up. Y/n looking up at her dad with same look in her eyes as his. 

Y/n rubs her eyes and continues painting the party outfits, even the feather boas and tiaras. She puts the sketchbook on her dresser letting the paint dry and falls onto her bed. She opens her small jewelry box on her nightstand and takes out her silver heart locket with a smaller heart diamond on the front. Y/n opens the locket looking at the small picture of her Dad and Papa. 

“I miss you, Papa.” She says again, to no one. 

She lightly kisses the locket and puts it back in the box, and puts it in the first drawer of the night stand. Y/n pulls the covers tightly around herself and slowly falls asleep to the rain hitting the roof.

[pandofndm]

Nemesis, Holons’ designs and the Chase family

So, I think it’s now a pretty popular speculation that the Chase family (minus Julian) might be involved with the Union. Julian’s mom didn’t seems that shoocked about the attack, kind of surprise, but not so much. And She took charge pretty quickly. We don’t know what is her current work but the different pictures we can see in the background show her and her husband being cop (or military ?), so she knows how to keep it cool and act.

Thinking right away that she’s from the Union solely based on the fact she’s not that surprised is kind of weak. BUT. Then comes episode 2 with what’s Sinclair say : “I know someone who'd very much like to say hello to you.”

Assuming he’s talking about a character we know, and we can be pretty sure it is... there is not a ton of person he could refer to. Mom, Drianna, or maybe the dead (?) dad but I don’t buy that one with the informations we have so far.

Then, episode 4 happened. Tl;dr Drianna is Nemesis or at least one of the pilot/mind controling Nemesis, and a traumatized child just traumatized another child and eveything is NOT FINE. Long post under the cut.

We don’t really know if Nemesis is a Holon or work the same way. But assuming Nemesis is a Holon, with episode 4 we know that the pilot must be young (something younger that 30 I guess. julian is 25 or 26 i think, Leon seems to be 30 or early 30′s) Thats the first thing. Oh also I’ll refer to Nemesis as a sort of entity with a “it”, because we don’t know who controle it, if there is more than one person, we don’t even know if it IS a person for sure.

Second thing : something is REALLY wrong about this mech. It act super weirdly. Its way of moving ? Very unatural. Sometimes it seems to... struggle. I thought it was just the head movement, but I saw something else when Nemesis is attacking Julian. (21:16)

First Nemesis has the upper hand on Julian. Julian hold one of the right hand, the left is pretty tight, pulling him against the ground. But if you watch again, you can catch a sort of... struggle, visible on the left hand

Nemesis has NO reason at this moment to remove its hand. Its head shake, its hands shake. Creepy and weird. Julian didn’t talk so I’m not sure if Dri, if it’s her, could guss it’s her brother.

Then, the most unsettled thing of the whole scene. All the “help me”. It’s hard to hear at first. But there is several instance when we can hear something. The person who pilot this thing try to communicate.

The first “help me” is at 20:25. Very robotic. 20:33, more quiet. 21:16, awefully human, this time. I swear I’m hearing a girl’s voice. 21:18, very robotic and low pitch, just when Nemesis seems to hold back. 21:26, again, high pitch, a bit less robotic. Seems to me like a “break me” than a “help me” but it’s so hard to hear... And again Nemesis seems to hold back again. 22:23 I hear something but I don’t know if it’s a sound effect or again someone’s talking. Can sounds like a “Help”.

And last thing before the design analysis : Nemesis is knocked out for a second, Miranda come and talk, Nemesis react to it, seems hesitant or susprise and decide to leave. It’s not just because it decide it can’t beat the heroes. The way it’s done, we’re supposed to understand there is an implcation there. It has a purpose. The person who’s piloting Nemesis knows Miranda’s voice. Again, it’s assuming this person is a character we already know. Maybe it’s a new character. But anyway...

Now I’m gonna talk design wise, using the heroes as example. It may be far fetched, I won’t lie. But it’s interesting.

Chase. Not a lot to talk about. He kinda has the “default” mech. The biggest characterization is his wings, because he was a pilot. Also the Teal blue is his color, white secondary color.

Val/entina. They’s the sniper and the stealth one. Their outif is a cloak, a hood and heels. Their mech has the same elements. The mech even have something to match the dreads. And their color is different shades of purple, with black and grey as secondary colors. I added the simple mech but I don’t have a lot to say about it.

Kazu. He’s the tough one. Cammie comment something like “do you really need to look tougher ?”. He’s the big guy, so his mech is big. Even the simple version is already a bit bulkier than the rest, and has a beginning of “samurai like” features. Also, color red and black.

Yaz. Hers is really interesting. I read several time that the whole design of her mech is based on a mythical bird creature and well, she named her Holon Huma, and the creature is named Huma. ...So yeah. That’s why all about her is so bird like. Her short hair ? Sorry but it kinda look like feathers to me ! The pendant ? Huma. The basic mech ? Has some head shapes reminding feathers. The final mech ? Oh boi it IS feather on its head baby. Also I noticed she has baby heels that’s cute. I read Huma is also associated with phoenixes so it might be the reason of all the golden color but I’m not sure and frankly I’m not enough informed about this to talk about it and I don’t want to offense anyone. Black is her secondary color, sort of.

Finally Cammie. She’s the furry one, a little bunny. She has short legs, her suit has ears-like tech, previously she had a sort of ribbon bunny ears shaped, her sleeves give her arms the same shape of her mech and it remind me the shape we usually use on cartoonish character or some type of anthro chara as well. The first thing she put on her basic mech is... the ears. Also green everywhere, and white as a secondary color.

What about Nemesis ? Well...

I think the pictures talk for themselves. The design of Dri’s avatar is strangely really close to the design effect of the nanobots. All her design is based on shards. Pointy diamond-thingy in the hair, on her dress, on her shoes, as her earring. And Nemesis ? Pointy everywhere. Nemesis’s black color is kind of purple tainted but it may be because of the lighting here. Also black is the color of the Union with red light because they are super eviiiil. Drianna’s color on her avatar are pink, blue and purple. IRL it’s more pink. But hen again it’s a badguy robot so it must look EVIIIL and Dri play with contrast, really dark with really bright and shiny.

Nemesis has heels and, I might say fck to gender cliché usually, but it’s a hell of a coincidence. Also the mech has some sort of tights, so does Dri even is it’s really different. Nemesis doesn’t have a general “””feminine””” shape, but some part are feminine coded. And Roosterteeth don’t queercode male villains.

The heroes are... well, the heroes, so they can make their mech look like them as they want. The person controling Nemesis though ? I doubt they can do whatever they want. It’s not their mech, it’s the Union’s mech. But design-wise and character wise, Nemesis design is probably a bit tied to the person(s) piloting it. It’s a show, designs have purposes.

Also to the question “How the hell Drianna can almost beat 3 full trained soldiers ?” I reply she had four years to train, she may be not alone in the mech, the mech seems kind of... more advanced ? and she has 4 arms, it helps a bit let’s be honest.

I’ll end this by adding that I’m pretty sure whoever pilot that thing ? It has nasty effect on them. They seems to suffer. Maybe there are 2 pilots, because of the four arms and the way Nemesis hold back sometimes. Who knows ?

Oh and side note : Weller and Colonel Marin did not seems surprise a bit. They know someting. Something’s up. And it’s gonna be hella good folks !

Edit : QUICK EDIT BECAUSE I FORGOT SOMETHING Julian thinks his family is dead, Dri seemed suprise to see Julian in the Ether so maybe she doesn’t know he’s alive but her mom knows ? Or simple neither of them know and fake Sinclair was about to snitch. Anyway, Dri knows, Julian doesn’t, that’s SUSPICIOUS.

[carolynpetit]

Reason to Play, a Journal--Entry One: Fortnite, MGSV, and Finding Ourselves in the Act of Play

Hi. 

This is the first entry in what I hope will be an ongoing journal of play. I wanted to start by explaining my thinking behind this project.

Right now, I’m looking for a reason to play. I’m always wary of games that seem to offer nothing beyond a mildly pleasant occupation of my time, and right now, I find such games downright inadequate. Unworthy. These are horrifying times, and yet, like so many of us, I find myself exhausted by it all. Unable to maintain the levels of rage and resistance that the actions of the current administration demand. I see it all becoming normalized and I feel powerless to stop it. And as the days and weeks and months go by, I feel as if this numbness accrues. I become increasingly detached, not just from the horrors of the moment but from myself. I start to wonder where the person I believed myself to be has gone. 

I believe that art is most vital in times like this. I love this quote from Kafka: 

“I think we ought to read only the kind of books that wound or stab us. If the book we're reading doesn't wake us up with a blow to the head, what are we reading for?...We need books that affect us like a disaster, that grieve us deeply, like the death of someone we loved more than ourselves, like being banished into forests far from everyone, like a suicide. A book must be the axe for the frozen sea within us. That is my belief.”

If a game isn’t going to be the axe for the frozen sea inside me, if it isn’t going to cut through the numbness, shake me up, break my heart, fuck me up, do something to rehumanize me, it is not worthy of this moment. 

But I might find what I’m looking for anywhere. I’m not talking just about games that explicitly comment on fascism or racial injustice or economic inequality. Yes, I think it’s essential that we have art, including games, that confronts these things directly, but it’s also true that a game can have the noblest aims and leave me cold, while a throwaway moment in a big-budget mainstream game of the sort that certain gamers like to call “apolitical” can crack my heart wide open. 

Like most of my writing about games, this journal will be a place where I fully embrace the subjectivity of my own experience with the games that I play.

Okay. Here we go.

Testin’ My Mind, Shakin’ My Body in Fortnite

Yeah, okay, Fortnite’s a Battle Royale. That’s just a fact. If you’re playing solo, which I almost always am--I’m uncomfortable teaming up with random players, though on occasion I’ll play duos with a friend, which makes for a completely different, really exciting dynamic--you drop onto the island with close to a hundred other players, and the way you win is by being the last player standing. Now, I encourage conversations about the violence inherent to the format, as well as about all the other aspects of Fortnite that people rightly raise concerns about--the way in which it’s monetized, Epic’s pattern of repeatedly profiting off of dances associated with artists and communities of color without compensating the artists or communities that created them. All of it. But if we’re gonna go to the mat with Fortnite on these aspects (and we should), let’s also at least have a full, multifaceted conversation about why we play Fortnite, how it feels, and the moments that can emerge from a fully invested experience of the game.

Did you know that earlier this year, a massive beast that had been frozen in ice under Polar Peak broke free, that huge footprints showed it had made its way to the sea, where it’s occasionally been spotted, roaming the waters around the island? Did you know that right now, a towering robot is being built in the remnants of the volcano? It seems inevitable that soon, a massive Pacific Rim-style fight between them will take place, almost certainly resulting in a new wave of major changes to the island. Indeed, the island is always a place in flux, changing in big and small ways. It’s alive in ways that I’ve always wanted my game worlds to be alive. Landing near Loot Lake a few weeks ago, I was excited to see that the massive power cable that runs through the area was shredded and sparking, as if perhaps the monster had taken a bite. 

But the life of the environment wouldn’t mean much if it weren’t for my encounters with the lives of other players. The other day, I was trying to complete a challenge that required me to get a certain score on a balloon board at one of the numerous little beach party setups that currently dot the map. Jumping from the bus, I swooped down to a spot in the desert, opened a chest, grabbed the weapon, and made my way over to the nearby board. Another player got there just before me, and I stood still, hoping to indicate that I didn’t want to stop them from completing the challenge. They froze for a moment, but then proceeded, and when they hit the necessary score, a little celebratory explosion of confetti occurred, and I got credit for the challenge, too. 

Basking in the glow of our shared little moment, I wanted to walk away then, wishing them nothing but the best in the match ahead. But then they took a shot at me. In that instant, a sinking feeling ran through my whole body, a physical expression of “Aw, why’d you have to go and do that?” and in an instant, I obliterated them. It wasn’t a victory. It was more like putting someone down. I didn’t feel good about it, but it sure was a real feeling. Something surprising and immediate that emerged from my encounter with another living person. And that’s what I’m here for. 

Yes, Fortnite is a Battle Royale, but so much of the experience of Fortnite is about unexpected occurrences like this, and about the things we do in the stolen moments between the shootouts and build battles. The other day, I got so caught up in playing a silly memory game I stumbled upon that I wound up getting caught in the storm. Not long before that, I danced with John Wick to raise a disco ball in an abandoned lair so we could snag a fortbyte, one of this season’s collectibles. These are the things I really remember, not my win-loss ratio or all the times I’m eliminated by players much better than I am before I quickly hit play and hop on the battle bus all over again.

I’m eager to return to the island because the island itself feels vibrant and alive, emanating a kind of Spielbergian Americana and optimism, but also because of the vigorous bodies and exuberant identities I get to inhabit while I’m there. The mix-and-match nature of Fortnite’s customization means that one round I might be a sprightly female wizard with a sleek laptop on her back, and the next a nerdy, purple-haired gamer girl with a satchel full of potions and spellbooks. “Fun” may be overemphasized in some of our conversations around games, but it certainly has its place, and playing as these colorful characters, well, it’s just fun.

Every character in Fortnite plays exactly the same, but they don’t all feel the same to me. I just unlocked a black variant of the character Sentinel, a robot or power suit that looks like it might have appeared on Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers, and I think it looks kinda cool, but I sure don’t want to be it. On the other hand, playing as Elmira (pictured above) feels good. And oh, do I love the way that some emotes make me feel. Tweeting recently about an emote called the Laid Back Shuffle, I wrote:

I’m almost always pretty uncomfortable in my body, for a number of reasons related to my appearance and my transness and things. The easygoing physical exuberance of this emote, the way that the avatar performing it, whatever avatar that might be at any given moment, appears to feel so loose and free in their own body, makes it really appealing to me, like a virtual experience/expression of a sensation that I’ve never known IRL. I think emotes have some kind of power beyond whatever power we often think of them having, perhaps particularly for those of us who never really feel comfortable in our own skin. 

And all the kids playing Fortnite that we’re so worried about, let’s remember that their experience of this game isn’t as simple as just trying to slaughter everyone else on the island. Setting aside whatever value there may be in the particular type of complex thinking and skill-building that it requires to try to simultaneously outbuild and outgun your opponent, there’s also the fact that they, too, are experiencing the life of Fortnite’s island, having encounters with other players that play out in unexpected ways, and experimenting with self-expression. Yes, their opportunities for that exploration and expression are gated by money, and that’s a real issue, but that doesn’t change the fact that a young person finding that they feel particularly cool when playing as a woman in red with a bionic arm is valid, and maybe even valuable. 

II. MGSV and What I Know Is True

I set The Phantom Pain aside for a few years after hitting a mission that I found maddeningly difficult, but something called me back to it. Now I’ve powered through the mission that gave me so much trouble, and I’m making progress again. I enjoy the geographical roughness of its environments, and the way you really have to deal with that roughness, often lying flat and crawling along the ground. The truth is that I spend far too much time alone in my apartment, and though it’s no substitute at all for the real, natural world, when I take my time being rooted in one spot to scout out locations and tag enemies before making any dangerous moves, I feel the shape of the space around me in a way that I rarely do in games. 

The other day I fought a grueling boss battle and then, finally, when it was over, hopped onto the helicopter to return to base, exhausted by the ordeal. Just as we were about to lift off, Quiet hopped on, hanging off of the side of the chopper as the rotors above her head spun faster until we lurched up and away from the ground. She held my gaze the whole time. I think a lot of games look at the player too much. They want you to feel like the center of the universe, the only person who really matters. But that wasn’t the feeling I got from this moment. I’d just fought for my life, and the way she looked at me, without malice or sympathy for what I’d just been through or anything, made me feel like I was being sized up. Looked at in a real way. Seen.

Do you know that feeling--Does this happen to everyone or just me?--that feeling where, for a moment, your awareness kind of spreads beyond yourself and you’re suddenly very aware that what you’re experiencing is something real that is happening in physical, three-dimensional space at this exact moment in time? It’s a feeling I get sometimes when I’m in a moment that I wish I could make last, or that I really want to remember. Sharing a last drink with a friend before they move away, that sort of thing. This feeling of momentarily being very much rooted in myself but also outside of myself and acknowledging, This is real. This is something that happened. That moment where Quiet was looking at me in the wake of the momentous battle I’d just fought felt something like that. 

It didn’t happen in real, physical space, but virtual space is a valid space, too, a space where real things happen. Sometimes when I’m playing Fortnite I’ll see the hillside where a friend and I once sped away from attackers on a Quadcrasher, bullets whizzing past our heads, and I’ll think, We were there. That happened. These moments become part of my relationship with the ever-changing island, just as my memories of San Francisco become part of my relationship with the city.

On another recent mission, I was sneaking my way through an enemy outpost when, from a nearby building, I heard the familiar sounds of Spandau Ballet’s “True.” To be honest, I never liked “True” much. The Phantom Pain takes place in 1984, and as a kid in the suburbs of Chicago in that year who sometimes saw the video on MTV, the song felt too airy and ethereal to move me. But recontextualized in The Phantom Pain, I heard it differently. That precise ethereal quality made it such an effective contrast to the grim military seriousness and the tactile terrain that my heart began to ache. 

The presence of 80s pop songs in the isolated military outposts of the game is politically fascinating to me. It says something about how American and British cultural exports are absorbed by the entire world, but it’s largely a one-way street. A Pakistani friend of mine in high school had grown up with Sting, Bruce Springsteen, Elvis, but I’d never heard Pakistani music in my life. I don’t understand why so many players are so intent on not considering all the political dimensions of a game like this. They only make the experience infinitely more fascinating, even if and when they reveal the game’s failures.

The songs also allow for the creation of some great moments. I snuck into the building where the song was playing just so I could snag the tape, and the next time I was in the helicopter, I played it, and as the opening notes of “True” played, I panned the camera slowly around Big Boss, creating a very short music video that I honestly found exciting.

I tweeted the clip, jokingly commenting that I’d “won Metal Gear Solid V by creating this beautiful moment,” but it had really felt this way to me. Creating this moment had been as fun and rewarding to me as anything else the game offered. Playing MGSV isn’t just sneaking and shooting, or at least for me it isn’t. This, too, is play.  So obviously, I get frustrated with the “Git Gud” players, those who feel that games are at their best when they’re perfectly calibrated tests of raw skill, that the only thing that matters is having an awesome KDR, or earning the highest possible rating on missions, or whatever. 

But the truth is that it’s not just hardcore gamers who set limits on our notions of play by talking about games like this. A lot of us do it, even a lot of us who consider ourselves emphatically opposed to the “Git Gud’ brigade. We do it when we look at a game like Fortnite and see it only as one simple thing, a struggle to be the last remaining survivor, without at least acknowledging all the other things a player might go to the game for. We do it when we deny the possibility for moments of strange beauty to emerge from even a grim, ugly, grossly misogynistic game like MGSV. We do it whenever we, ourselves, adopt a limited, conventional understanding of what it means to really play a game, rather than fully engaging with all the different ways that we can find ourselves and each other in the spaces that games create.

-----

I’m currently looking for work. If you enjoy my writing and are in a position to do so, please consider supporting me on ko-fi.

[himboholhorse-moving]

1 2 4 7 8 9 13 18 20 26 27 29 30 32 39 40 41 43/44 45 46 49 51 53 55 56 57 59 63 65 that is. so many dghsdghsdgv I'm sorry I just see an ask meme and go crazy aaaa go stupid aaaa. You can just answer whichever u like from those!! also 69(nice): you seem rly nice and funny from your 🅱️osts and I appreciate u... I hope you can find better irl friends who aren't trash

HDSKFJKS I completely understand but lucky for u I LOVE to talk !!

1) How are you?

Pretty good, actually!! Which is a nice change of pace. I went to Walmart with some friends yesterday and got a few things, baked a family recipe that my friends LOVE, and finally did my laundry (it’s been a couple weeks we love depression and executive dysfunction dfhkjsfd). I went to Cracker Barrel with some friends and earlier and played a 4-way game of Tetris after. :3c

2) Post a picture of yourself.

Here you go !!

4) What is your entire name?

Sierra Alexis and my last name is something constantly misspelled so I’ll give you the name of a historical figure whose name is a letter off from mine: George B. McClellan, to whom I may or may not be related because last name variations are fuckin’ WEIRD.

7) Your zodiac/horoscope and if you think it fits your personality.

I’m a Capricorn sun and moon, and Libra rising !! And from what I’ve read on Twitter from various astrologers, like Milkstrology, I LOVE her, I’d say it’s pretty accurate with my personality!! I like to say Capricorn’s aren’t cold bitches but, I Have A Tendency To Be One !!

8) What did you do on your last birthday?

God what DID I do on my last birthday… it was in January, so like, I SHOULD remember… OH I went to IHOP with my friends !! I share a birthday with another friend and I got a JoJo notebook and something called a Fuggler! They’re stuffed animals more or less but designed to be “ugly.” I got one that looks like Philadelphia Flyers mascot Gritty because I LOVE Gritty… he’s so fun and funky.

9) What is one thing you’d like to accomplish before your next birthday?

Get all my requests in my inbox over on my writing blog done KJHFDJKSF it’s been a few months and life has been. Hectic to say the least.

13) If you could change your eye color, would you?

There’s so much weird as hell brown-eye-phobia so like… I think blue eyes would be pretty neat. OR PURPLE… give me some unnatural eye colors pls...

18) Do you have any tattoos?

Not yet!! I’m going to get one the next time I go back home for break. :3c And I have a few ideas for other ones!! I wanna get a big-ass “Dragon Age: Origins” tattoo that’s the dragon on the cover on my thigh. I also wanna get a DA2 and “Inquisition” tattoo… and the Joestar birthmark… too many ideas… 

20) Left or right handed?

Right-handed !! I could have been left-handed or ambidextrous if I broke my arm AFTER I started kindergarten, but alas that was before.

26) Something you are working on right now:

This !! But also the script for my next podcast episode that I record on uhhh Monday I think. Should probably figure that one out dsjfjhsf

27) Do you have any “rules” about food?

I answered that in the last ask !!

29) What would you say is your best quality?

I also answered this in the last ask !!

30) What do you think you’re really good at?

Writing, I’d say! And memorizing trivia about the stuff I’m super into. If it’s stuff pertaining to “M*A*S*H” or old movies or TV shows or actors or specific historical events, I will know that shit FOR LIFE. Don’t ask me to do math pls thank u

32) What talent do you wish you’d been born with?

I wish I was able to do stuff with music. That was never really in my blood, despite all the music classes they make you take in elementary school. I just never learned how to memorize or read sheet music. :/ I would have loved to play violin, tho… my friend plays and she says I would have been a good cellist.

39) Do you sleep with a stuffed toy?

YES… have for years. I still have my Care Bear from when I was 5, Gritty as mentioned above, a plush of my school’s mascot, and a little Fugo !! He’s so tiny.

40) What do you think about the most?

Everything and constantly and all at once. But the past really because I can never let stuff go and even the small things I mess up on haunt me forever… Wish that wasn’t the case but it is !!

41) Share two habits:

Biting my nails and having a very specific routine in which I get ready when I wake up. Like, I’ve gotta go brush my hair before I put my important cards in my left pocket, then put on my silver bracelet, then my beaded bracelet, then my earbuds in my right pocket, then put my earrings in. I HAVE to do it in that order…

And other oddities that include, like, if I need to go around something I HAVE to follow the urge to go one way and not the other, lest I feel the need to go back and fix it. And then which foot goes first before I reach a crack in the sidewalk, or up or down a curb, etc.

43) What are your career goals?

If I can just make people happy or get some kind of joy out of the things I do, I’d call that enough. :)

44) What is your ideal career?

Mmm, either a film historian or a film professor !! Preferably at the college I’m at right now but wherever the wind takes me, I’ll go! Or a Twitch streamer or YouTuber, it really depends on my mood jdhfjskf

45) Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

It was pretty much the same !! Freshman year was pretty lively, I didn’t have a job on campus yet though, or my podcast. Everything else is basically the same!

46) Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

CONSTANTLY… good or bad it’ll play back over and over and over again.

49) Do you have any phobias?

HOO BOY, DO I… fear of heights; fear of insects/bugs/arachnids/bees/wasps; I have a strong dislike of the number 13 but I don’t know if it’s a phobia, I just. REALLY hate it; the unknown, more or less what lurks somewhere beyond where I can see. Not so much a fear of the dark with that one, just what could BE in it.

51) Are you allergic to anything? If so, what?

I answered this in my last ask, as well!

53) Ever come close to death?

Two or three times, maybe? Two of them involved what’s called a laryngospasm, typically it can happen when your sick, which is what happened to me both times. Basically your throat just closes up on your for a hot minute and you can’t breathe. The first time I genuinely thought I was going to die (and my dad still sent me to school that day… HOE), the second time I was also sick and was losing/had lost my voice DURING A JOB RETREAT and it happened in the middle of the night so that was funny sitting there gasping for breath in the pitch dark.

At the FIRST retreat I went on for that job, you had to take pictures as part of a scavenger hunt, and the place used to be an old military fort, so there were still the old bunkers there. We had to take one on top of it and I was taking the picture, and it’s a wide shot so I go to take a step back but before I do I look behind me. If I hadn’t I would have fallen a good 10-15 feet down onto solid Civil War-era bunker concrete. I’d consider that being a “close to death” moment because I really could have died!

55) A random fact about yourself:

I have a half-brother !! My sis and I finally found him after her 23andMe results came back (which she decided to do despite us being like THE GOVERNMENT WILL COLLECT OUR DATA) and we didn’t think our mom would be happy she found him but she was !! My sis might reach out and contact him, she just wanted our mom’s permission first to do it.

56) What are three things most people don’t know about you?

Well, that I have a half-brother. I don’t mention it a lot. Aside from y’all on here and my sister, most everyone else doesn’t know I’m nonbinary! Everyone else knows I’m bi though lmao. And that there were times I’d stretch or bend the truth or lie about something just to impress someone else. It’s a… Bad Habit. Another thing is that most people don’t know I like coffee? Like I need to put a shit ton of creamer in with it because I’m a Bitch, but yeah.

57) An unknown fact about your life:

I wouldn’t call this an “unknown” fact but I’d used to go to work with my dad every now and again when he worked at the Home Depot and he was assistant manager. I’d either chill in the back room which was an office he shared with two other guys, or walk around the store with him. I had my own apron, too, which was my name with “Mini Mac” next to it, “Mac” being my dad’s nickname and something easier to say than my last name. I actually helped a few customers out so I wonder if I should have gotten paid for that despite being like, ages 9-13 when I’d go jshfkjd

And I guess I technically tested video games as a kid? Basically, when my dad was stationed at Fort Knox, they’d get demos of video games that hadn’t come out yet to test I suppose? and I still have a few somewhere. He’d hand them off to me and I’d play them so there’s that.

59) Five weird things that you like:

Eating globs of wasabi for no reason.

Scaring my friends also for no reason.

I wouldn’t say using cotton swabs to get wax out of your ears because it feels good is weird, just more medically inadvisable if anything.

When I was younger I’d like to floss really hard because the slight pain from it felt good. Young me was a #Freaque KJHDFJJDHF

I don’t know if being fond of alphabetizing and reorganizing things is considered weird but I LOVE doing that.

63) A quote you try to live by:

“It matters not how strait the gate, / How charged with punishments the scroll; / I am the master of my fate: / I am the captain of my soul.” It’s from the poem “Invictus” and the last two lines are what I’m getting tattooed !!

65) Weird things you do when you’re alone:

Practice the “Lucky Star” dance. I GOT THE LYRICS DOWN… JUST NEED TO DO THE DANCE NOW…

69) Leave me a compliment:

“you seem rly nice and funny from your 🅱️osts and I appreciate u... I hope you can find better irl friends who aren't trash”

Anon pls 🥺 I do my best to be nice but my friend really do test me sometimes... my feelings bounce back n forth like if they do something my feelings can switch to angry or like, hate, and then if they do something nice I’ll like them again. It sucks but ! I just take it one day at a time. Anon I care for u 💜💜💜

[mysticsparklewings]

I’m Not Dead‪

I'm not laughin', You're not jokin' I'm not dead I only dress that way Out nowhere take me out there Far away and save me from my Self-destruction, hopeless for you Sing a song for California --My Chemical Romance, "Boy Division" ____ Have you heard?? Have you heard the news?? Well if not, I'm gonna tell ya: MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE IS BACK, BABY!!! :D On Halloween, we got the announcement that they will be playing a show in Los Angeles, California on December 20th. And just a few days ago we got the news that they're also going to New Zealand, Australia, and Japan which basically confirms to me they're doing so sort of tour, whether they actually call it that or not. There's still a lot we don't know for sure; whether this is just a one-time reunion tour or their official comeback tour, if we'll be getting new original music both at the shows and available for download/purchase or if they're just going to redo their existing music and covers, if it's only going to be the main four that were there at the end or if there will be some of the other members that were in and out over the years rejoining them...Where all they're going to go on this tour...the list goes on. But! The important thing, at least to me, is that they came back at all. Six years. Six years we've waited and hoped and prayed, been let down by false rumors and speculation...And now it's actually happening. I just... Hence why I had to make an art piece celebrating the occasion and as an excuse to talk about it. (I figure if I'm going to dump my opinions on the internet I might as well make some art to go with them. Sue me. ) Originally, I was planning on making something more along the lines of true fan art, as this is more pseudo fan art here, but I just couldn't settle on one good idea that I felt really comfortable pursuing. Although I am still considering doing an updated (or at least colored in) version of my Killjoys, Make Some Noise! (lineart) I did a couple of years ago...we'll see. Anyway. Since we did get the news on Halloween, it's worth noting that originally I'd been debating if I wanted to do any makeup this year at all or just slide on a mask since my only plans were going to Krispy Kreme, who was offering a free donut if you showed up in costume. But after the news broke, my decision was made for me. I had to. MCR isn't strictly associated with skeletons/skulls, as has become my preferred Halloween costume, but The Black Parade, their second album, does have a little skeleton as the leader of the marching band, and the band members did wear skeleton/skull inspired makeup during that time. Admittedly this year's makeup wasn't nearly as involved or elaborate as what I've done in years' past, but it beats last year's absolutely nothing. I ended up taking a few pictures to preserve the look, as I always do even though I rarely take photos of myself, and I would decide to draw one of them where I was trying to do this face that Gerard (the frontman and lead singer of the band) has made on a several occasions; this wide-eyed intense stare. Partly because this, I'm sure, is very close to my actual face when I heard the news that they're back, the makeup was inspired by them anyway, and also because it pairs very well with one of my favorite lines from my favorite song by them. Said line being, obviously, "I'm not dead I only dress that way," from Boy Division, as cited at the top of the description. If I'm being completely truthful, I can't even really put my finger on what it is about Boy Division specifically that makes it my favorite, as I've yet to hear an MCR song I truly do not like, but I think there's something in the lyrics of the full song that just sells it for me in combination with the high-energy music. But whatever the case, it is my favorite nonetheless. Beyond that though, it's really hard to place the rest of them in any coherent order because, at least to my ears, they're all really great. Anyway. So I went about drawing my face, erring slightly more on the realistic side than usually (but obviously not too much) in hopes of capturing the facial expression. Which, it's pretty good, but I do think it could've been a little better. I think my biggest problem was getting the eyebrows a mouth right, and I'm still not sure they're quite there since my real eyebrows are pretty translucent and the mouth was hard to balance between looking logical and more neutral than sad/angry. And I think maybe the proper expression was a little more apparent in the sketch, but it's pretty normal to lose some feeling between the sketch and the final product so that I won't discount too much. After that, I had to take a break from the drawing to think about how to color it in any style it and everything. I ended up transferring the sketch to Mixed Media paper after deciding I wanted to use alcohol markers as a base but not knowing if I'd need to adjust it with colored pencil and/or other mediums on top or not, and I did the lines with my Faber Castell Polychromos once I felt like just black lines would be too harsh and thinking colored lines would be better. Plus, the Polychromos are very non-reactive to water, so if I really wanted to I could add watercolor or something water-activated without having to worry about the lines getting messed up. I did not consider how the Polychromos would react to the alcohol markers, but other than one or two spots where the top layer of pencil kinda dissolved after some heavy layering (which was easily fixed by just going back over the lines in that area again really quickly), fortunately, it worked out okay. Although sweet sparkles I swear it took at least twice as long to actually do the lines as opposed to normal between having to apply enough pressure to get the right amount of color down and working on the differences inline weight.   Anyway. I was a little worried about some of the shading/effects I'd be doing with the markers, but I think I did alright with it. This mixed media paper (Strathmore 400 series for anyone who cares) is nice and thick, so I had plenty of room to layer up and blend as I needed to get the look I was going for. This came in especially handy around the eyes and on the nose when I told myself to at least try and get the colors like the photo before cheesing it and just using straight (or nearly) black. The only area that I think came out a little rough is really the skin, mainly the forehead. But that has more to do with 1. There isn't much contrast on the face in the photo so I didn't want to take it too far in the drawing and 2. I think I may have started slightly too dark for skin this pale. I realize that's a weird thing to say, but when you're pale as a ghost like I am, you'd be surprised how easy that is to do. And to be fair, I probably could've tried to adjust that with colored pencils, and my original plan was to add some white pencil on top in the areas of the face where a highlight would naturally hit (forehead, bridge of the nose, cheekbones, etc.)  But by the time I got done with the markers, I honestly felt like it was nice enough without any additional pencil that I thought it might be best to just leave it alone. Since I still have the original drawing, my thoughts may change on that and I could update this eventually, but for now, my decision stands. On the other hand, I was actually pretty pleased with how the hair turned out once it was colored. That is until I scanned it in. I don't know why, but the darkest shadows in the hair were too dark and too bluish on the scan, despite everything else looking fairly color-accurate. I fiddled with the scanner settings for a few minutes to try and fix it, but it became quickly apparent there wasn't much to be done about it at the level. Which meant I had to try making the adjustments in Photoshop. Now, I've done my fair share of scan-fixing, photo editing, and just color adjustments on digital art, but for the life of me I could not get things to work the way I wanted them to here. It became to the point I'm starting to suspect if the actual true-to-life shades of purple of the drawing are just really hard or even impossible for computers to capture and/or create accurately. Fluorescent colors fall in that category, surely they're not the only ones. In the end, after more time than I bothered to document messing around with settings and adjustments, and firmly decided I was not going to essentially manually re-color/shade the hair digitally, I tried the only other thing I could think to do. I took the hair, as I had been for all my adjustments since the rest of the colors were fine, on a separate layer and took all the saturation out so I was left with just the gray values. And I noted while I was at that point that it didn't seem to be an issue of the contrast between the shadows and the rest of the hair. The transition looked perfectly acceptable in grayscale. Then, I added a color layer on top of that one, clipped it to only show up on the hair, and changed it to an "overlay" layer so that I would get the values from the gray layer, but colored purple. It did take a couple of tries to get the right shade of purple for the color layer, and I'm sure it's still not 100% accurate to the IRL drawing, but it's a heck of a lot closer than it was. And this gets even weirder when you consider that just a few days before I made this drawing, I made a different one for a friend where I used the exact same marker colors for the hair, blended in almost exactly the same manner, on the same paper, and it didn't have this problem when I scanned that one in. I have never in my life. Anyway. The accessories actually didn't give me much trouble in drawing or coloring. Admittedly, I did tone down how many feathers and stuff are actually on the tiny hat for my own sanity's sake, and while I did my best with the lace on the choker, I don't have a ton of practice with drawing lace like this so I'm sure it could be improved. Although I did decide to color both of those areas (what I didn't draw/fill in with the pencils at the line stage) with a super dark blue-violet instead of a gray or straight black for the purpose of not totally hiding the linework I'd put in and to make it just slightly more dynamic. Which I think was a good call as it seems to tie in pretty nicely with the grayish tones on the face. Other than that though, I did try to stay fairly accurate with my color choices, and I think I did pretty well with that, all things considered. (Despite having a much larger selection than I did just a few months ago, I do still need a wider selection of alcohol markers in some areas just for the sake of color accuracy and smooth transitions.) Once my face was done, then came the text. I searched for a while, hoping to find an MCR appropriate font that I could hopefully add by hand, but my search came up empty. I did find one I really liked the look of though, called "Miserable." So I scanned the drawing in and after the aforementioned hair struggles, I got to play with the placement and structure of the words. I knew I kinda wanted something that just has that "I'm a logo/t-shirt emblem" kind of feel, and in the end, I think I got that. But I do think I could've planned out the drawing itself a little bit better in terms of the space left to fit the words into. I really didn't do myself a lot of favors on that one.   It has its problems, but I'm still really actually kind of proud of how this turned out...and that's really all I have to say about it. Eh, maybe I'm just really happy because I know why I made it in the first place. Now if MCR can just come within 1-2 hours of my location so I can actually go see them...please... ____ Artwork © me, MysticSparkleWings ____ Where to find me & my artwork: My Website | Commission Info + Prices | Ko-Fi | dA Print Shop | RedBubble |   Twitter | Tumblr | Instagram

[theonetrueemo]

Answer all the cute ask questions

HHHHHHHH- THATS SO MANY

angel; do you have a nickname?

On here people just call me Alex but irl people call me Lily even though my name is Lilith

awe; how old are you?

13

baby; favorite color?

BLACK!....Purple....

bloop; spirit animal?

Wolf

blossom; favorite book/movie/song?

Favorite movie is Freddy vs Jason, favorite book is Carry On by Rainbow Rowell, and favorite song is what ever I feel like at that moment.

blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child?

A cute little pupper.

breeze; most precious childhood memory?

Idk......

bright; mermaids or fairies?

Fairies because unlike mermaids I think they do exist

bubbles; do you have a best friend?

@loved-and-i-lost-you @smol-satanist-666 @gay-leader @ihaveapizzzacollection @jokerstrueidentity

buttercup; showers or baths?

Baths but I never take them

butterfly; dream destination?

London

buttons; are you religious or spiritual?

Uh??....

calm; favorite scent?

Haunted Castle look it up its amazing.

candlelight; what did you dream about last night?

Martin Persner...........

charming; have you ever been in love?

@ihaveapizzzacollection

cozy; eye/hair color?

Eye color is blue and my hair is very dark brown. But I am gonna dye is in the near future

cuddly; what’s your favorite time period?

Like....in the day or?....Well midnight and or 1920s-1960s

cupcake; favorite flower/plant?

I like buttercups a lot

cute; what did you get on your last birthday?

Ghost merch

cutie pie; most precious item you own?

.....Ghost merch.....No seriously my favorite thing I own is my Freddy Krueger glove.

cutsie; what makes you happy?

.................

daisies; describe a moment when you felt free.

Never......

daydream; how do you want to be remembered?

“That satanist girl obsessed with Multi”

daylight; favorite album of all time?

OPUS! EPONYMOUS!

dear; zodiac sign?

Aquarius....

delightful; concerts or museums?

Concerts. Museums are so silent....I hate it....

dimples; have you ever written a letter?

Yes many times.

dobby; dream job?

Artist or making all the gore in horror movies or working at a morgue....

doll; how do you like to dress?

Masculine

dovey; any paranormal/magical experiences?

Yes everyday

dreams; do you want or have any tattoos?

No but I want multiple

drizzle; do you believe in aliens?

Yeah duh. Watch Shane Dawson

euphoric; talk about someone you love.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhh- No...

fairy; do you have a pet?

I have 6. 5 cats 1 dog.

fluffy; ocean or mountain?

Ocean. For years I have wanted to be a Marine Biologist but I dont think it will work.

forever; where do you feel time stop?

What?.....

froglet; are you a good plant owner?

Idk....

garden; how many languages do you know?

6

gem; who are your favorite tumblrs?

@ anyone I talk to

giggles; what is your aesthetic of choice?

Emo/goth/satanic

glittery; do you like anons? why/why not?

I like all asks

glow; list the top 5 things you like about yourself

Shins, emo/goth, satanic, I am some what good at drawing and I think I am a kind person

heart; silk or lace?

Silk because A) It feels nice and B) Lace is see through so fuck that.

honey; coffee or tea? how do you take it?

Tea. Hot tea once its made you take TWO table spoons of sugar mix it in and just a little bit of milk. Its perfect.

hugsy; do you enjoy people watching or bird watching more? why?

People watching, I’m an Aquarius.

hunnybunch; what sounds help you sleep?

Ghost, Otep, Slipknot, MCC, ect.

jewel; what’s your favorite kind of weather?

Rain. Thunder and lightning.

jiggly; what do you usually like to do on weekends?

Literally nothing.

joy; do you laugh loudly or giggle more?

Giggle....

kinky; do you blush easily?

It depends....

kisses; what romantic cliché do you wish for most?

Pick up lines!!!

kitty; what’s your favorite time of the day?

Midnight or Dusk.

ladybug; what’s your favorite artist to listen to when you’re sad?

Ghost.

love; what is your favorite season and why?

Winter or Spring because its cold

lovey; what is your favorite flavor of macaron and ice cream?

I’ve never had a macaron......But I like vanilla ice cream.

magic; what are five flaws you have?

I could write a book so if I tried we would be here all day.

moonlight; do you prefer soft pastels, warm neutrals, or cool darks?

DARKS

munchkin; what do you look for in your significant other?

Idk.....Loyalty is the most important thing to me.

paddywack; how would you describe a perfect date?

At home on the couch with some Chinese food and a true crime show on netflix.

pebbles; how do you spend free time by yourself?

Reading fanfic about a ship I like.

precious; what is something valuable that you learned in your life?

Life sucks

pretty; do you like to cook or bake more?

Bake.

prince; how would you describe your handwriting?

Better than other 13 year olds. I’m pretty proud of it actually.

princess; do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play?

I play the keyboard and a little guitar. I would like to take actual classes for the keyboard but we can’t all have what we want.

prinky; how do you relieve stress?

Listening to Ghost, screaming or just....crying....

pumpkin; what is your favourite kind of fruit/vegetable?

BROCCOLI! EVERY KID HATES IT FOR SOME REASON BUT I’VE LOVED THAT SINCE I WAS 1

rainbow; what was the last line of the last book you read?

“Omega swallowed and Alpha fell on top of Omega and they fell asleep”

roses; what is the most significant event in your life so far?

Idk.....

smile; what is one thing that has greatly affected you?

Idk....OH coming out to my family. It still feels like a dream....

shine; art or music?

DONT MAKE ME CHOOSE!!!

shimmer; do animals tend to like you?

I have 6 what do you think.

smitten; do you collect anything?

Pop funkos...I have 23....

smoochies; how many pillows do you sleep with?

7 are on my bed but I never use them at all. My head is always on the mattress.

snuggle; what is your favourite candy?

Anything really....

snuggly; do you have a camera? if so, what kind?

I have my iPad.

sparkle; do you wear jewelry?

Fuck no. Actually I wear a Harry Potter ring.

spooky; sunrise or sunset?

Sunset!

sprinkles; do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones?

Noise cancelling headphones.

starlight; what was your favourite show as a child?

(Just to be clear...I still like these shows to this day) Octonots or Wild Krats!!! I FUCKING LOVE THOSE SHOWS!!! I cried when Captain Barnacles from Octonots got stung my a jellyfish and he was in pain!! I love him *cries*

soft; describe your favourite spot in your house.

My room...its my room....

soothe; digital or vinyl?

Vinyl. Obviously. I may be 13 but I am an 80′s fan for life!

squeezed; who do you miss right now?

everyone.....

sugary; what traits do you value most in friends?

LOYALTY! I am a Slytherin so I am VERY loyal.

sunshine; do you prefer for things to be practical or aesthetically pleasing?

Idk...

sweet; do you find it easy to open up?

Fuck no

sweetie; do you like kids? if so, do you ever want to have any?

Yes and No.

thimble; is there somebody you look up to? who are they?

Tobias Forge, Martin Persner, Simon Soderberg, Per Errikkson, Justin Taylor. idk if I spelled Per’s name right......

toot; what is something you find unique about yourself?

I growl....

tootsie; what kind of friend are you?

Loyal pet.

treasure; what was something that made you smile today?

I was drawing a picture of Thomas in a restaurant and the waitress liked it.

velvet; are you an early bird or a night owl?

Night owl. I have an owl. He doens’t come inside but we feed him. We named him....Dr. Who LOL

whiffle;  if you could have a magical power, what would it be?

Probably to turn invisible

whimsical; do you prefer doing stuff at home or going out?

Home

whiskers; do you usually wear makeup?

No

wiggly; are you a messy or tidy person?

Messy but thats only because I never have time to clean up. I am a clean freak though.

wispy; do you like the place where you grew up? do you think you will live there when you get older?

I dislike it a lot and I plan to move to London when I am older. Fuck Florida.

wobbly; have you ever wished upon a star?

No because nothing happens.

I HOPE THAT WAS IT! ~ A