#the closest i ever came was a tumblr post a year ago

[howlsofbloodhounds]

i wish there was more information on OSDD-2 instead of a brief description repeated over and over, or having to dig through layers of info on other disorders because those are more commonly known and talked about.

[the-smiling-doodler]

What is the difference between twitter and tumblr

there's a lot of differences between them, from community to functionality. we'd be here all week if i listed every single one, so i'm just gonna name a few: 1. the community on tumblr is a lot more chill than the one on twitter. tumblr users HIGHLY encourage curating your own experience, it's basically impossible to be on tumblr for a while without seeing at least one post encouraging you to unfollow/block people you dont vibe with, not respond to hateful asks and block mean anons, and filter tags you dont like. this isn't to say that other apps don't do the same thing, but in my experience, tumblr users are far more vocal about it. it's very ingrained in the app's culture as a whole. linking this back to the SC fandom real quick: I've only been faced with one drama on tumblr, compared to twitter where it seems like every fucking day some new shit pops up. tumblr-exclusive SC fans are largely unaware of any of the crazy shit that goes on on twitter. i keep saying this to my moots but it is genuinely far more peaceful on here than on twitter. 2. tumblr is also more slow-paced than twitter because the character limit on this app is HUGE (4096 characters per text block, and tumblr allows a total of 1000 content blocks per post, meaning that if you use every content block you have exclusively for text, the total character limit is 4,096,000 characters per post. thats like 630154 - 819200 words !! also, reblogs count as their own post, and you can reblog a post a near infinite number of times (ignoring the 250 post limit a day.)), which i think is part of the reason why this app is more chill. it's less stressful, it feels like you can take your time on here. this isn't mentioning that you can attach up to 10 images to a post, making tumblr a better app for both writers and artists compared to twitter. the more you stay on this app, the more you notice that a lot of posts are very long. 3. i've said this on another post of mine (which i really recommend reading if you have the time because i talk a lot about the importance of reblogging posts on tumblr, among other things), but I'll say it here again: while the community on tumblr is more chill, it's also very quiet. a lot of tumblr users have become very passive in their engagement with posts, only liking and never reblogging. in my personal experience, i've found that you get far more engagement and reach on twitter than on tumblr (emphasis on personal experience, because a few of my friends have told me that they actually get more interaction on tumblr than on twitter.) in short: twitter is where you go to get famous, tumblr is where you go to hang out with friends. 4. this point came from my friend @buggyboo-exe, he said: "I'd add the fact that Tumblr allows for more, how do I say, personal interaction? On Twitter sure, you can follow people and see just your follower's posts and everything but Tumblr not only has the ask box, it also gives you the feature to answer those asks privately. I think it's just easier to make friends on Tumblr and actually keep those friends long term than on Twitter. Likely due to the slow paced thing as well. I'm not sure how to explain it better. Tumblr also started the whole "moots" thing I believe so followers are always seen more as friends then anywhere else." I think this point is very solid because, yes, although I think twitter is better in terms of quantity of engagement, tumblr allows for deeper, more personal interaction. a lot of my closest friends on this fandom are ones I've made on tumblr. I feel way more comfortable goofing around and being silly with them publicly on here than on twitter.

5. this is something I wanted to add to the post i linked in point 3 but forgot to, and that is that tumblr is more or less timeless. it's very, very, VERY common to come across posts from as far back as 15 years ago. you basically never see twitter posts ever again if they weren't made this year, but on tumblr? it's not unusual to see a post from 2015 circulating. it's not weird to reblog art or writing from months or years ago. it's also not weird to go through an artist's blog and just reblog/like all their posts in one sitting. (also, reblogging a post means you get to keep a copy of it on your blog forever. meaning that even if a user deletes their blog, or deletes the post itself, as long as you've reblogged it it's never truly gone. reblog your favorite posts if you wanna keep them with you forever!!) 6. tumblr users REALLY stress anonymity. one of the first things i told my twitter mutuals was to PRIVATE YOUR LIKES AND FOLLOWING TABS !! no one wants or needs to see that stuff. this is your personal blog, you're allowed to and even encouraged to keep things about yourself private. it is usually extremely easy to tell who is and isnt a tumblr user, because twitter users tend to: have their likes and following visible, don't have a blog title, dont have a personal blog theme, and only like posts with little to no reblogs.

I'll cut myself off here because this post is getting very long, but yeah, there's a LOTTTT of differences. i hope this answered your question !! and to anyone reading this, feel free to ask me if you have any other questions about being on tumblr. I know a lot of you are new here and i LOVE to yap, so i'd be happy to answer !!

[ingravinoveritas]

Hi there! Please, I'm struggling to remember where did we first hear Michael being called a "welsh seduction machine" and David a "soft scottish hipster gigolo". I really wanna know! Do you?

Hello! Well, by no means do I want to take credit if this isn't the case, but I actually started using those tags here on Tumblr four years ago (the tag for Michael in June 2019 and the tag for David in August 2019). After watching GO season 1, I got into Michael first, and so #welsh seduction machine came pretty readily as a tag, though I couldn't say for certain that I was the first one ever to call him that.

(Michael did once mention in an interview when asked about something untrue yet hilarious that he'd read about himself, that he'd read that he was going to name his hypothetical daughter "Sexma"--a.k.a., "Sexma Sheen." Not exactly the same thing, of course, but the closest I think I've come across.)

It took me a little bit longer to become a fan of David's--not because there is anything wrong with him, but because I was so enchanted by Michael from the start and mainlined his filmography first. Once the DT spell was cast, though, I specifically remember trying to think of a way to affectionately describe David and his 'energy' that would also work as a hashtag, and so #soft scottish hipster gigolo was born. (I also have several other newer tags for David, which can be found in this post.)

What's really surprised me is how both of these tags have suddenly taken off over the last few months/since GO 2 came out. I used to only ever see #welsh seduction machine and #soft scottish hipster gigolo in my saved tags (which aren't even saved anymore because Tumblr glitched out a few months ago and pretty much wiped them out), but now I've been seeing those tags under "Popular Tags," which is absolutely wild. I'm glad folks are enjoying them, though, and it is rather lovely to see my 'children' go out and thrive in the world, as it were.

I hope this helps to answer your question. Again, if anyone knows of any instances of those tags/nicknames that predate my own use, please do feel free to comment on this post and let me know!

[graysongraysoff]

as we inch ever closer to pride i am once again thinking about how the great tumblr ace discourse of 2015-2016 has inhibited my exploration of my own sexuality and continues to do so to this day despite my own best efforts and my work with my therapist, who literally specializes in queer sexuality.

like, this isn't to say that i haven't made any progress. on the contrary, my therapist praised me yesterday for being so much more open to exploration and learning things about myself than i was at this time last year; for putting myself out there on hinge as a way of figuring out what i'm looking for in a potential partner; for taking a more analytical look at crushes i've had in the past and crushes i have at present (aforementioned youtuber, for example), as well as crushes i don't have despite my best efforts, to see what they can tell me about what i find attractive and what i should seek out; for reading books she's recommended me on sexuality (i've been listening to the audiobook for mating in captivity by esther perel recently bc the hold i placed on it came through on libby a couple weeks ago lol) and thoughtfully sorting through them for things i find helpful or that i think apply to me. like, progress is being made.

but still, for every step forward i take in this area i feel this apprehension when it comes to discussing it with literally anyone other than my therapist (unless, of course, it's in a long-ass post like this filled with backstory and qualification), because i can't escape the worry in the back of my mind of "not being ace enough." try as i might i still can't shake the fear that if i admit to even my closest friends that i am open to the prospect of having a sexual partner, that there are things i find sexy even if most explicit content squicks me out, that i can in fact (gasp) be turned on - if i admit to any of these things i become one of those people who is actually just straight but identifies as ace because they want so badly to fall under the queer umbrella, because they want so badly to claim oppression and struggle that does not, in fact, belong to them. even though i know in my brain that sexuality is fluid and that it can and does change over time, when i so much as consider the possibility that maybe i am straight or bi now (i don't think i actually am, but sometimes when i'm in these spirals i consider it) - that maybe over the last ten years or so the asexuality of my twenties has morphed into this sort of tentative straightness or bi-ness for my thirties, i worry that people will think i have been lying, to them and to myself, up until now. i worry that my friends will be annoyed or frustrated with me when i bitch about people not tagging nsfw content or fandom twitter being "just straight-up pornography all the time" in public posts and then send them a dm about a piece of fanart that i find titillating or write something a little spicy or participate in a bit of erp.

i am so, so afraid of being seen as a hypocrite, and i don't know how to quell that fear.

i'm thinking about all of this now because i was listening to mating in captivity on my commute to work this morning and it was talking about how difficult it is to talk about sex and sexuality after being raised in a society where you're supposed to keep that part of yourself rigidly private, because of course that's true for everyone who was raised to think of sex as dirty and private and shameful, but sometimes it feels doubly true for me, someone who has cultivated an image of herself as a bit of a prudey asexual. i block nsfw tags, i mute nsfw discord channels, the vast majority of nsfw fanart and fanfic makes me extremely uncomfortable so i try not to engage with it and i do what i can to limit my exposure to it. i often feel alienated in online fandom spaces where it often feels like everything is about shipping and horny-posting all the goddamn time. and with all of that in mind i feel like whenever i do have a less-than-"wholesome" reaction to something, my friends, who know me as a prudey ace, are rolling their eyes at me behind my back. and i can't help but think that i might not struggle so hard with these feelings if not for the "fake ace" discourse that happened right as i was becoming comfortable with identifying as ace myself.

i don't have a nice conclusion to wrap this all up in, lol. i guess it's just frustrating that, even as i explore and learn more about myself and my sexuality, i find it so hard to even casually bring up with even my closest friends because this perceived stigma of "fake asexuality" still clings to me so tightly. it's frustrating that i still have such a hard time feeling "proud" of being ace because part of me is still so convinced i'm a fake.

[liskantope]

My situation of the Severely Limited Time/Energy For Tumblr continues. When Scott Alexander came out with an essay arguing against the Social Model of Disability, I managed to write a substantial comment and meant to follow that up with a Tumblr post but got my hands full with Other Stuff again before I was able to get around to the latter. I'd been hoping my comment might engender some kind of interesting discussion, but nobody responded, nor did it come up in Scott's more recent "highlights from the comments" post.

To put it bluntly, where I am at this point with regard to the social model of disability is that I see it as a sort of ideological nemesis -- obviously not in the sense that it's the my least favorite ideology out there, nowhere close, and I'll even concede that the more sophisticated thinking coming from it has very interesting and worthwhile ideas -- in the sense that it seems to be everywhere now among today's youth social movement and I see it seeping into everything, and I see it as fundamentally, profoundly misguided and (for the most part) at odds with common-sense reality. It seems in the last few years to have taken the number one spot among ideological trends that I'm worried about. (I think I first began to see it as a full-blown problem around the time I made these posts when Stephen Hawking died in 2018).

I couldn't remember ever seeing Scott Alexander tackle the social model of disability head-on (the closest very adjacent thing I can think of is that some years ago he came out very strongly against the prevalent ideas in autism activism about blurring the lines between different types of autism and taking offense at any desire for a cure), and I was immediately pleased to see that he takes such a critical stance. As I said in my comment, though, his discussion was very confined to the narrow world of scholarship and actual disability treatment (I don't fault Scott for this, since there's plenty of discussion to be had even in that narrower realm), whereas I see it as a much broader social phenomenon based on an axiom of "no trait is innately unfortunate" which is wide-reaching in how it affects how younger people are thinking about all kinds of social issues.

I was bemused that within half a week of the ACX post, Freddie de Boer published another one of his (excellent) posts which I interpret as attacking the mental health awareness movement wing of the social model of disability mindset:

who are unable to parse the idea that some things are inherent and also bad

Exactly, thank you, Freddie.

[rockinlibrarian]

For the author asks: 4, 12, 18

Author Asks! Now showing at a Tumblr Blog Near You!

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Well, now you've gone and reminded me that I have like thirty comments from Yuletide to respond to still. The answer SHOULD be a resounding Yes, but that one got me so many good comments in a row that I couldn't keep up, and then I forgot to go back!

But in ordinary circumstances, absolutely. You have given me an excuse to talk further about my story! Or at the very least, you have brought me a smile and I just want to say Thank You! The other day someone responded to a comment I'd left on their fic over a year ago, and I loved it-- I'd forgotten all about that comment, and that fic, and I got to experience it anew, and their reply that they'd looked at my comment "many times" added a sweetness that wouldn't have come from an immediate response, anyway!

So now I should go finish the comments on Jason and Chidi. Except I have to go to work in 20 minutes so maybe I'll put it off and forget about it again.

12. Have you co-written a fic?

The closest I've ever gotten on an official fic is "The Magic Man of Oz," which was brainstormed on a Discord server and I just ran with the results. I feel like I've cowritten stories-- not necessarily fanfics-- with friends before when I was a teenager, but the only one I can remember was when my cousin and I were passing a notebook back and forth each adding a sentence to a story that was about a homicidal guinea pig. Not a guinea pig. Some kind of large roundish rodent.

I remember reading Sorcery and Cecilia and writing a letter to another writer friend, "Check this book out, they wrote it by each taking a character and writing letters to each other in character, wouldn't that be fun?" but neither of us actually decided to ACT on the suggestion...!

18. What's the first fandom you wrote for?

Hmm. That's like asking me what my first Diana Wynne Jones book was. No, that's an even longer story, fanfic is simpler.

Somewhere back like fifteen years ago, when I was spending the majority of my online time on LiveJournal, I was puzzled at myself for apparently never having written fanfic. But it's exactly the sort of thing I'd DO! But like with Diana Wynne Jones books, I discovered I was wrong, when I picked up my old Junior Girl Scouts badge book and a scene from Ducktales fell out, apparently in response to a writing badge assignment to write a piece of fanfiction. I had had no memory of this writing experience!

In my pulling a daily writing prompt period, "The Pipeweed Mafia Epic" technically came first, but I don't think I clocked it as fanfic because it was Real Person Fic. The first one I had the concept in my head of "Oh, this is FANFIC" was for a DIFFERENT prompt that made me go, "Sounds like an X-Files plot. OH, okay, guess I'm writing X-Files fic!" I eventually shared it here! It's crack. X-Files crack. You should read it.

I messed around with some more random fanfics (one of which I eventually posted, a few more of which I may finish someday-- I'm very fond of my how-Wash-and-Zoe-Washburn-fell-in-love story and WANT to finish it eventually) in the intervening time, but of course it was Legion I got an AO3 account for. And is still my most-written fandom! Because SOMEBODY'S got to write Loudermilk Twin stories so it might as well be me!

Hmm, my "You should start getting ready for work" alarm didn't go off, so now I should REALLY start getting ready for work.

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

My first original post in a while and its nothing anyone will want to read

This is a vent post disguised as how I came up with my name on tumblr.

When I was little I got my hands on a copy of H.P. Lovecrafts "At The Mountains Of Madness" and because of that I've always had a deep love of horror, and because I could relate to the Shoggoths and their stories, though I am nowhere near as brave as them.

Honestly I've always found it easier to relate to the "Monsters" in the media than the heroes. It's probably because I never really feel at home with who I am, a bit too tall with proportions that are a bit odd for my height.

It made me feel alien, like one of the Shoggoths had decided to try and mimic the human form but screwed the proportions up, not to mention that I never really got human interaction, always leaving me on the outs of most things when it came to talking with actual people until I got good at faking it.

But it probably also didn’t help, that my mother and I have a rather… horrendous relationship.

In fact one of the things I remember her saying to me the clearest was that I “Had no heart”.

All of this leads to the me most everyone in the real world knows, a tall guy who wears nothing but gray and black and yet despite how alien he acts, is always referred to as “Charismatic”.

Sounds exactly like a certain being in H.P Lovecraft's works, a cosmic horror, who is still probably nicer to speak to than me.

At least he will have a more expressive face than me.

For as an infamous man once said with a bit of tweaking on my part.

What I show to everyone, including the people who are “Closest” to me in the real world is merely an idea of a who I am, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me, only an entity, something illusory, and though I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable: I simply am not there. It is hard for me to make sense on any given level. Myself is fabricated, an aberration. I am a noncontingent human being. My personality is malleable and unformed, my heartlessness goes deep and is persistent. My conscience, my pity, my hopes disappeared a long time ago, probably when I was seven or eight years old if they ever did exist. There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem I see in the world and my utter indifference toward it, I have now surpassed. I still, though, hold on to one single bleak truth: no one is safe, nothing is redeemed and that each model of human behavior must be assumed to have some validity. Is evil something you are? Or is it something you do? My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone. In fact, I believe that the only thing all humans can feel equally is pain. But even after admitting this—and I have countless times, in just about every second of my “Life” I’ve committed—and coming face-to-face with these truths, there is no catharsis. I gain no deeper knowledge about myself, no new understanding can be extracted from my telling. There has been no reason for me to tell you any of this. This confession has meant nothing, and will mean nothing for all of time.

These are just the rantings of someone who is screaming against silence and screaming against the fact that not a single living being who I truly know understands nor will ever understand who the “Real” me is.

[shipsgaysfordays]

Mary Mary Quite Contrary

So, I’ve realized that I have not posted the past 2 chapters to tumblr and only posted them to ao3, so just in case anyone was interested in my story Remus’ Descent Into What Can Only Be Called Madness, this post is the past 2 chapters

Links to other chapters here

Sirius' pronouns this chapter and moving forward are ze/zim/zer/zey because it just feels right idk man

Remus’ pronouns are still they/them

Also (I do this in all my ao3 posts but I’ve realized I don’t do it here) FUCK JKR AND HER TRANSPHOBIC, HOMOPHOBIC, RACIST, ANTISEMETIC, AND OTHER JUST GENERALLY HATEFUL RHETORIC

 Mary was the only person “alive” that it seemed that Sirius could turn to, their hands shaking as zey walked along the streets in shadows. Trying to slide along unnoticed as they approached closer and closer to what had to still be her address, it couldn’t have a new owner, she couldn’t live somewhere else, coincidence and consistency would be necessary for Sirius’ fate to turn out positive in any way. All their hopes came to these next few moments, as Sirius knocked on the wooden door, praying to anyone who could be out there that Mary McDonald still lives in the same flat that she did however long ago.

 He stared at the door, the mixture of warm lighter highlights of brown, deeper darker shades, the dim hall light hitting the door. They knocked once more, louder.

 “Alright, alright, I’m coming but you better not be trying to sell me shit.”

 Relief filled their bones for a split second as the magnetic voice of Mary hit zer eardrums. Followed quickly by a sense of panic because how the hell does one explain all of this.  

 In seconds the door is open, Mary staring out at the figure in front of her, before looking around and speaking hastily, “Get in here, now.” Though Sirius didn’t have much choice in this as Mary pulled them into the less than glamorous kitchen.

 “Mary, I need you to–” Sirius started.

 “I believe you, I trust you.”

 Sirius stared at her, puzzled as hell.

 “But…”

 “Nothing seemed to add up, you would never do that to Lily, let alone James, he was basically your brother except you two actually had a good relationship….sorry.”

 There were a few seconds of silence as she looked at them with what had to be pity and a bit of embarrassment on her own part, as she seemed to try to form the words for something.

 “Remus just….they let it get to their head, part of them broke and I don’t think they ever truly thought it through….they saw someone to blame and took the chance to do so,” Mary muttered, her stress and worry for the wolf visible as the lines that had grown into her face over the years.

 “I would have done the same,” Sirius sighed.

 “I tried–I tried so hard to get them to give up all of this fucking nonsense!” Mary shouted, waving her arms around, “...they just couldn’t see reason anymore.”

 “They’ll come around, when they find out the truth they’ll come around,” Sirius spoke, hoping that maybe saying it out loud would make it real.

 Mary’s eyes darted all around as they welled up a bit, “and…what is the truth, what happened? Who really–” her hand covered her mouth for a second, wanting to stop herself from talking about it or thinking about it, but she needed to find the truth, “who really killed the Potter’s?”

 “No one.”

 “Sirius, I’m not some child or damsel in distress and you are by no means a knight in shining armor, tell me the truth.”

 “I am,” zer voice pleaded.

 “So I’m just expected to believe the Potter’s died in a random accident and Dumbledore blamed it on you for fun?”

 “No, because they’re not dead.”

 For a moment Mary’s mouth gaped in disbelief, until her eyebrows shifted, her expression changed, and all that she could seem to feel was a sense of rage.

 “You mean to tell me that James and Lily still have a pulse, they’re still alive and well, that Harry celebrated his 5th birthday a few months ago? That you went to prison FOR NOTHING! That I had to go through the worst grief of my life and watch my closest friend breaking themself day in and day out all over this death THAT NEVER EVEN HAPPENED?!?”

 “Yes,” Sirius nodded, solemnly.

 Mary grabbed their face, looking for any sense that Sirius was lying, any clue, any reason not to trust them, but they had never been this great of a liar. At least not with Mary. She could recall observing the ways Sirius would stare at Remus when they were all still in the closet (what a big closet to hold every single marauder in it). Now their face seemed to show no lying, and they honestly wouldn’t have any reason to lie, it seemed, or maybe they had all the reason to lie and Mary was being naive. Remus would think she’s being naive.

 “Where are the Potters?” her voice was acidic.

 “I think–”

 “You THINK?”

 “Yes, my brain does have the capacity for thought,” Sirius jokes, hoping for just one second that things could be how they used to be.

 Mary gently shoves zer, “You and I both know that’s not what I mean, anyways, you don’t know for sure where they are?”

 “I can’t be certain, plans could have fallen through and anything really could have happened while I was in Azkaban. I think they could be somewhere in Siberia…or maybe the Yukon, but for all I know they could be in rural West Iowa. I wish I had my old notes or really anything to make me remember.”

 “Well…we can work on it, you’re out and safe enough. You can stay here, no one really seems all too concerned about your prison escape. Or at least the government doesn’t seem to care as much, everyone’s energy is in the war. Maybe it’s just that everyone thinks you’ve gone mad, or since Dumbledore knows what really happened he doesn’t think you’ll do much. Remus of course is still obsessed though, so–stay here, just to be safe,” she said the last part anxiously, almost afraid of speaking about them.

 “They’ll come around, they’ll see what’s happened and they’ll come around. Moony knows us, they just got a bit confused with all this time that’s happened,” Sirius says resolutely, eyes almost daring Mary to challenge zim.

 Remus had always had people thinking they’re a monster, they even talked about thinking it sometimes, but Sirius never thought Mary would think that. Never thought Mary of all people would be warning Sirius to stay away from Moony because they’re “a danger”.

....(this is where I had previously split the chapters)

 Sirius had been walking along the streets.Two days after the full moon, zer mind spoke. Two days after you were a coward yet again. The guilt of not seeing Remus weighed on Sirius, they weren’t ready to see zim, that much was made very clear, still they were likely in incomprehensible pain due to the whole monthly breaking apart of their bones in order to become a wolf only to then become a man about 8 or so hours later. A part of Sirius wanted to sneak into that flat they used to share, maybe Moony would be asleep, still ze couldn’t do that. If Remus really believed that Sirius….killed the Potters….then zim sneaking into their house would be terrifying.

 Mary had been telling zer to just stay in her house, to be careful and just wait on it. Remus had always had that part to them that was like a scared animal, always ready to pounce or run when necessary, rather thinking about their safety than being able to think through the whole situation.

 Despite all of this Sirius kept pacing around the flat, peering in for any glimpse of Remus. Moony would normally recover by now, or at least they used to,    Sirius thought, fumbling with their hands. I need to tell them something, I need to do something. I need to know they’re okay, they need to know I’m here for them. I need–    

 Sirius stopped their pacing as they caught sight of a lost dog poster, a picture of a familiar looking black dog displayed across the front  LOST DOG, “Padfoot” large black dog  (Remus had never been all that great recognizing with dog breeds),  7 years old  (they used to joke about Sirius having a mental age of 7, ze remembered)  If found contact 578-2857-48302 for reward.

 They really were trying to look for Sirius, they really were trying. A part of them wanted to give in, that idiotic part of them that still believed Remus would never actually want to hurt zem, that maybe if they just strolled into the flat it would all be okay, zey could wrap Remus in a blanket, feel their heartbeat next to zer and it would all be fine. But they had to try making peace with this current situation, that’s what Mary had been trying so hard to convince them both to do.

 Sirius ripped the lost dog poster off the lamp post and took one of Mary’s muggle pens from their pocket, quickly scribbling in their cursive like writing, “I love you still, I hear your screams at night and I wish I could help, but I know even this message may be hurting you more,” looking up every few letters to make sure they were safe standing there.

 Swiftly Sirius was back by that flat, staring at the door, just knock dumbass, a part of zis mind spoke, a different part arguing at the same time this was such a stupid idea. Still zer hand hovered by the wood door, remembering how terrible Remus’ headaches were around the moon, how loud noises bothered them so. Softly, in a way that made Sirius question if Remus even heard zem, Sirius tapped their knuckles against the door. As they heard movements, bones cracking and standing, Sirius stood in shock for a moment, a moment they likely couldn’t afford, but still a moment before quickly sneaking behind a wall, still staring at the door as they transformed into Padfoot. Now would be a great time for the invisibility cloak James, ze thought, almost praying that magically their friend would show up and all would be well, but this is no fairytale, good for Remus it isn’t a fairytale. Zeir mind filled with images of villainized wolves who blow down houses and eat grandmothers, until being brought back to reality with the sound of a creaking door. Calling Remus simply disheveled would be praise, Sirius hated to think it as zey observed the feverous man bending down and examining the note. Queerly, Remus had been staring at the front of the flier first, for a moment Sirius wondered if maybe Remus wasn’t the one who made it…but it was THEIR contact information on the sheet.

 Tears started to stream down Moony’s face, and all Sirius could do was stare. Stare at the salty water, at the red sickly face, at the new scars they had acquired over the years, the new scars they never should have gotten. Even when ill Remus is enchanting, Sirius thought, it was a thought ze had had many times before, but now more than ever zer eyes were glued to their face. Even as Remus looked around in paranoia, even as they retreated into the room and slammed the door, Sirius stayed observing. Silently wishing that they would come back out, just so ze could get another glimpse that close to Remus.

 Time seemed to pass by, very slowly, nothing truly seemed to be changing. Sirius tried to work on notes on how to undo this: possible locations of the Potter’s home, specific locator spells, ways to break the charms meant to hide them.

 Mary tried to help where she could, but it had been a while since she had been consistently doing magic, a part of her was afraid of being around it again. Maybe because of Marlene and Dorcus. Their deaths had hurt all of their friends, but Mary was always closer with Marlene, since they met on the train they could barely be separated.

 Mary seemed to be trying more to build a muggle life than anything else, Sirius overheard her talking with Remus about needing to move on. Would that really help Moony? Sirius wondered. She seemed to believe that if she had something else to focus on then maybe Remus would calm down about everything and begin to see reality.

 Though reality seemed to look different between the three of them. Sometimes Sirius would stay up at night, wondering if she really believed zim about James and Lily, maybe she’s just playing into this idea because she doesn’t want to hurt Sirius? There was always a tinge of doubt in her eyes whenever they talked about plans for finding their friends.

 On the outside it really did appear that Mary was moving on, that she was doing fine, that she had found some sense of happiness or at least normalcy again–but Sirius knew differently. Sirius could see the tears that fell down her face when she caught a glimpse reminding her of her friends, could hear the long sighs or even worse the sobs after the phone rang for minutes on end only to not be picked up.

 “Remus, sweetie I know this is hard, but please just call me back…I just want to help.”

 “Remus…you’re not a burden, I need you to know that. I’m here for you, you’re my friend, we only have each other left. Please.”

 “Remus I can’t keep doing this, call me back.”

 But they never did.

 Eyes red and puffy, Mary stared at Sirius, “I don’t think I can help them anymore,” her voice broke. Eyes darted away as she spoke lowly, “I don’t know if I can help you anymore either…”

 Sirius looked around for a moment, was ze being kicked out? Of course you are, you couldn’t expect this to last forever.  

 “I’m sorry for all of this mess, thank you for everything Mary, I can get my stuff–”

 “No, no, you’re misunderstanding. Stay, please stay, I just don’t think I can do much other than that to help you. I was never that amazing with spells, and I’m so out of practice, and I don’t think I can think about magic without seeing….her.” Oh.  

 “I understand…” Sirius held out zeir arms, moving slowly so Mary could back away if she didn’t want this, but she stayed still. And so Sirius held onto her.

 “Thank you,” she whispered.

       ….

     March, 1985  

 Sirius looked at the calendar, today was the day, the day that used to be filled with cakes and chocolates and kisses and pranks and Moony. Zis eyes continued to stare as zer mind went elsewhere, Remus would be spending another birthday alone.

 Truly alone this time, Mary had made the decision that she wouldn’t visit until she was called back.

     Sirius had decided that ze  needed  to leave a message for Moony and despite how easy it would be to simply use Mary’s phone, Remus wouldn’t be ready to find out about this whole situation going on. Before dawn Sirius left to find a random phone booth, hoping that zhe still would remember how a phone booth is used since it’s been years. After fiddling around with buttons and circular shapes and putting the phone handle next to zis mouth, finally zey spoke hoping this message would get to Moony.

 “Happy birthday Moony, I wish I could give you a present, or a kiss, but all I have are my words. Though I thought you might enjoy hearing my voice more, muggle phones still seem so incredible all these years later….Sometimes I wish you would discover where I hide, so maybe I could gaze deeper into your eyes. To see the anger, fear, or passion of anything through simply a glimpse into your brown pupils, into your soul. I saw tears that day in October, I hope I am still in your heart, my love.”

 Sirius let out a sigh, missing the person ze once loved, hoping that soon Remus could find out, that things might return to some sense of normal.

     After getting home Sirius stared at zeir maps, laid across Mary’s living room floor, it had become a pastime to stare at them, hoping that somehow a memory would come back into zis mind and zey would know exactly where the Potters were. Whatever thoughts came to zis brain ze tried, a million patronuses, letters to random locations, until they remembered a specific part of the spell that had been created all those years ago. The specific phrase “invenire vanum” needed to be stated, then Sirius could use magic to locate them once again.  

[polestarneighbor]

Reading tag game! Tagged by @lincyclopedia. Tagging @kaindasorta because I don't actually interact with folks on this webbed site.

Last book I read: The Princess Trap by Talia Hibbert. Picked this one up from the library on a whim because I needed something fluffy to keep me from rereading astolat fic on a quiet day. It was exactly the kind of short and sweet I wanted, and with enough chemistry and kindness to make me buy forgiving the hero after some truly epic fuckups.

Book I recommend: for the last couple years, it's been a toss-up between The Duke Who Didn't by Courtney Milan or A Deadly Education by Naomi Novik. Depending on whether I think people need a lighthearted romance between two hilarious but uncommunicative goobers with a heavy dose of food porn (and RECIPES) or a fantastically written My Immortal AU with the best allegorical world building I've ever encountered. And also two hilarious but uncommunicative goobers. What.

Book I couldn't put down: Diavola by Jennifer Thorne. In this case I'm not sure "couldn't put down" was a good thing. Anna's gradual, horrifying disillusionment haunted me for a week straight, to the point that I was reading it in every spare moment I had, and it's stayed with me in the months since I read it. I've never understood so viscerally how it feels just to be fucking done, and I'm not sure I wanted to know. Be warned, ye who enter here.

Book I've read twice: I have a personal rule for the sake of my wallet that I don't buy books unless I have read them at least twice and preferably more. Also, I have four bookshelves in my bedroom. But I did once read Howl's Moving Castle twice back to back on a single plane ride, and it was totally worth it. The cover could use some new packing tape now, though.

A book on my TBR: Immortal Dark by Tigest Girma, out Sept 2024. I love vampires, especially vampire romances. I love magical schools. I love murder mysteries. I love gloriously ornate cover art. I need this book now.

A book I have put down: The Familiar by Leigh Bardugo. I really wanted to love this, but the way the protagonist kept getting constantly manipulated in very obvious ways was very frustrating, and I just wasn't hooked. So when a different Libby hold came in, I didn't even notice I'd lost track of this one.

A book on my wish list: Sorcerer to the Crown by Zen Cho. I'm very overdue for a reread, because I'm always keeping an eye out for it in bookstores and never finding it. Primarily what I remember about it at this point is a total sweetheart of a deeply unambitious Victorian Sorcerer Prime struggling and entirely failing to keep his recklessly ambitious protegée in check. Plus my favorite "all magic comes with a cost" tropes, irresistible.

A favorite book from childhood: There are so many. But today I'm going with the Percy Jackson series, primarily for the sake of the teenager I recommended it to a few days ago whose eyes kept getting bigger as I answered the questions "Does it have Athena? Does it have Hades? Does it have ZEUS?!?!?" Runner up is Freeze Tag by Caroline B. Cooney, for the ultimate "evil is human, not monstrous" fable.

A book I would give a friend: Uprooted by Naomi Novik. It takes a lot to make one of these lists twice (let alone three times under a pseudonym), but if you can top the charts for me in multiple genres you're doing something right. This somehow manages to have all my favorite fairy tale retelling energy while also being totally original. Absolutely gorgeous.

A book of poetry or lyrics I own: I don't read much poetry beyond Poe, so the closest I have is probably In the Night Garden by Catherynne Valente, which is technically a novel but feels more like a piece of art than a story to me.

A non-fiction book I own: the last one I bought was Bad Blood by John Carreyrou. I don't generally like nonfiction, but a good con artist is compelling in any medium.

Currently reading: nope, I don't pause to write Tumblr posts in the middle of a book. Finished two yesterday, will probably pick up the next tonight.

Planning to read next: The Last Devil to Die by Richard Osman, because the Thursday Murder Club is too cute. Ibrahim and Elizabeth have and will always have my whole heart.

[drivenbycheese]

The CBC and the End of First Year Law

Had I never met the Champagne Socialist, I may have dismissed him out of hand. On February 16th, he wrote:

I used to doubt the usefulness of Twitter because all it really does is replicate one feature of Facebook — the status update. But that’s exactly the difference. Because that’s all Twitter is, and because it’s much more open, it changes the way people use it. [emphasis added]

I can’t stand the comparison between Facebook and Twitter. A truly interesting phenomenon is that people tend to conceptualize the internet in terms of how they use it, rather than as a concrete entity. If I ever do write a thesis, it would certainly be on Internet Philosophy, how each person uses it completely differently and adapts it to their own world view. But the internet, unlike reality, has an accessible actuality. Twitter isn’t just a Facebook status update. Facebook wants your friends to know “what’s on your mind”; Twitter wants to know “what’s happening”. Twitter was intended to reach a wide audience of people you both knew and didn’t know, to be a realtime communication tool. Facebook was intended to let you friends and family, your (non-publicly accessible) peer group, have a glimpse at what you were up to during your day. They are separate websites with separate goals, although they are functionally similar from a user standpoint.

The author of the Champagne Socialist blog is, in his own words, a “recent but enthusiastic convert” to twitter, whereas I am what some would call an early adopter.  On the other hand, I came late to Facebook. I had been on Twitter, Blogger, Livejournal, Diaryland, Wordpress, Tumblr, Delicious, etc., etc. … I didn’t see the point of Facebook, and felt that Myspace and Friendster (which I had tried) were lackluster services. I didn’t see why Facebook would succeed where they had failed, and didn’t sign up until some point in 2007. I’m still not a huge fan of Facebook, whereas most people today are what you would call Facebook Fanatics. For me, Twitter came first, and Facebook status updates “imitated” Twitter. For most others, Facebook came first. For the average internet user today, Facebook is where the internet starts and ends. For the average user, then, to say Twitter “replicates” the Facebook status is not only fair, but entirely accurate.

(The rest of that article is good, by the way. It emphasizes the importance of Twitter in the political sphere, something I have only recently come to appreciate. You should read it.)

The point to all of this is that people use the internet in vastly different ways, a fact that has always fascinated me. Moreover, the way each person uses the internet is the way they consider “correct”; I myself am guilty of this, so that when someone says something I disagree with my first reaction is to write a long, rambling blog post.

One thing I have never really been into on the internet is streaming media. I am aware of radio on the internet, but podcasts, livestreaming, and even things like ustream have never really interested me. Youtube only holds my attention for a few minutes a day, compared to the hours I’ll spend reading Thought Catalog. But a few weeks ago this blogger/ tweeter / colleague in law school introduced me to CBC Radio 3 online, and it became not only the soundtrack for my exam study period, but a staple of my morning routine. Now I wake up and turn on the CBC, to hear amazing, independent music which I would never have heard anywhere else.

So now I see the validity in the statement that Twitter imitates Facebook. The CBC was always there, always broadcasting, but for me it didn’t exist until someone forwarded me the link. For most there was no Twitter until they’d already shared with 240 of their closest Facebook friends how they rocked their Psych 101 final. The Internet exists on its own, but it also changes with you, opens and adapts to your purposes. My Internet is different now than it was a few weeks ago. My use of Twitter has changed from following comedians and other things internet to tracking the upcoming election, the progress of my hockey team, and things happening in real life. The first tab I open in the morning is no longer my carefully crafted collection of Google Reader feeds; now I head straight to the Globe and Mail and CBC Radio 3, a window into things that are actually happening.

My internet changed when I was living in a library basement for 13 hours a day. I lost touch with what was going on in the outside world. I didn’t have time to sift through a hundred comics and blogs for entertainment. My iTunes catalogue became a veritable wasteland of uninteresting, overplayed music. When I had to abandon the Internet as I knew it to work harder than I’ve ever worked, live music streaming, news sites, and an adapted purpose for Twitter kept me going. Whether you get there early, late, or with the rest of the pack, the internet meets you where you are in life. As I finished my first year of law school, I turned on the CBC.

[csarites]

ROBIN #5 (2021)

here are some favourite moments!

that no one asked for, but i'm gonna do them anyway.

spoilers ahead, duh.

1. Trust

Damian values Dick's trust so much🥺

It kinda hurts to see him say "I wish you'd just trust me" HE DOES BABY I PROMISE YOU

2. Damian dissing everyone.

"Is that why you and Tim are on a break?"

Damian, your brother had an eye-opening discovery about his sexuality less than two weeks ago, give him a break.

"Are you sure you weren't raised by clowns, Ric?"

He was shot in the head, child. Have some respect.

"Et tu, Reject?"

JASON IS NOT A REJECT OKAY! I LOVE HIM!

also, Damian quoted Shakespeare here. Jason and Damian bonding over classic literature??? please???? DC i know u can hear me. give us more Jason and Damian bonding moments!

3. Damian hugs Jason.

You can't see 80% of Jason's face but you can tell he is absolutely freaking out inside.

"omg omg omg what do i do?"

Jokes aside, this was genuinely such a sweet moment. Jason and Damian finally got their sweet brotherhood moment (even if Damian used it to trick Jason).

And you know what? Yea, Jason is most emotional Robin.

4. Or not..

It amuses me so much that Damian uses sentimentality as a weapon. He was the killy stabby Robin for so long, everyone knew not to try anything with him.

It makes so much sense that sentimentality from Damian, of all people, would shock Jason (the other killy stabby Robin).

also, this is exactly why your brother has trust issues, Damian. shame on you.

5. Big brother Dick.

I can confidently say that no one was surprised to see that Dick was the one who made it through to Damian. He's always been closest to his youngest brother.

The gift itself is beautiful, not because of what it is. But because of what it means to Dick, and now to Damian as well. A solid reminder that Damian has his family backing him up, waiting for him to come home.

And a reminder of who he is: Robin, a brother, a son, a friend, a Wayne, an Al-Ghul.

I would have included the panels of the gift, but alas, Tumblr has a 10 images limit per post.

6. My Robin.

No, I'm not crying. You're crying!

Once again with the sentimentality, this time, Dick gets Damian with it. Damian values Dick's approval and opinion, seeing as Dick accepted Damian and loved him for who he is, without expectations or standards, something Damian wasn't familiar with at the time.

To know that Dick supports him must've given him that last boost of confidence he needed to get back to Lazarus Island and compete in the tournament with a newfound spirit.

batfam stans, how we feeling?

7. What do we tell Batman?

To put it more crudely:

Jason: he got you with sentimentality, didn't he?

Dick: bitch, that was you.

I'm glad they're all leaving Damian to his own devices, letting him (re)discover who he is. And they know that when Damian is ready to come home, they'll be there to welcome him with open arms.

I love that Dick acknowledges and brings up that they've all went through this stage, discovering themselves for who they are outside of being a vigilante. It's a tough life and they know it.

Bonus:

8. Artist appreciation.

I love the artist for this issue (no hate to Jorge Corona from the last issue, but his character design for Dick was ehhhhh...).

Moreover, I love that this artist applied the same design for Nightwing from the current run. Melkinov used the Redondo's design for Nightwing's escrima sticks (the grappling hook coming out of the middle of the stick) and also used a similar design to his suit.

It definitely sells the idea that all of these comics are happening in the same continuity. We've had many conflicting storylines over the years because the writers/artists of the comics hardly ever seem to be on the same page when it comes to the character design of the same character.

I know that Jason's still wearing his old suit instead of the new one Bruce gifted him in Batman: Urban Legends #6 (2021), but this is something that still makes sense to me for the following reasons:

Urban Legends #6 came out only two weeks before this issue, the artist could've been done with their art and didn't know that Jason would be getting a new suit.

Jason is gonna wear the new suit in for the first time in Nightwing Annual #4 (supposedly), which will be released in November of this year. I can only assume that Jason won't be ready to wear his new suit until the point of time in that issue.

Lastly, shout out to Luis Guerrero for the amazing colours in this issue! He captures the essence of each character so well with his colours, like how the light is more reflective on Dick's suit than anyone else's, showing that Dick is wearing a stretchy material since he's a gymnast.

The shading, the contours, the way the light falls softly on each surface, truly a work of art.

[thatfilthyanimal]

did u go to dashcon? if so what was that like?

Oh lmao I guess you saw my twitter post about that? Well yeah! I did! In fact, a good chunk of Megamind fans went together as a fandom meet-up! In case you needed any proof:

(I don't remember the artist of the Megamind keychain, sorry. I bought it off etsy ages ago :D;;) But I also regret to inform everyone that I had a Nice Time at DashCon despite the shitshow I learned about it while there and after leaving it, but mostly because the fandom group I was with was, er... actually competent and good at planning in ways that don't fuck folks over? (minus ONE person but that's not my story to tell tbh) But it was a nice, chill small con with interesting panels and a pretty widely diverse group of nerds all there with their nerdy friends being nerds. Like literally I can't complain about it. One of the panels that was mocked on Tumblr by name alone was run by my friend Dani-Kin and was, actually, a GREAT panel, which was running over time because people didn't want to LEAVE it. I was also at an 18+ panel that security came into to pull someone (apparently underage?) out of, and Tumblr made a huge deal of that too as if the con was somehow just ~allowing~ that to happen. Basically it was a nice little con crowd-and-panel-wise and from just a casual visitor's perspective, I was fine. I've been to way worse panels at bigger cons, like Midwest FurFest, tbh. (I'm looking at you, panel about "asexuality" that was trying to reinforce the idea that asexuality is strictly sex-repulsion, which it is NOT, but I'm grumbling off-topic here.) The rest of it was a shitshow that I managed to mostly dodge by hanging with my friends, but something about last-second begging for money happening at the con and people just handing over their cash to help without any receipts or anything. There was also a HUGE group that I wanna say paid extra for a live episode or something of Welcome To Night Vale that got shafted because the con apparently didn't pay the WTNV guys to be there when they agreed to, so they bounced and fans waited in line for quite a while, waiting to see them. (I can't blame them for choosing to fuck off when they did, they didn't know if they'd ever get paid and that's pretty shit.) BUT the Megamind fandom group I was with was awesome, we rented out two of the large suite rooms near one-another and bounced between them to hang out and be loud and obnoxious together and meal-planned and stuff and it was all-around a good time, for me. It was also that con I discovered that I was in love with Vamp, who 8 years later is my fiancé and we live together! My partner (hi, poly) Dal also got engaged to his husband in Megamind cosplay there and like, it can't get much cuter than that. I sadly did not see the ball pit. However I did pick up my badge in the room the ball pit was IN, and it's a MASSIVE room, like impressively massive, like you probably could park airplanes in it, which makes the ball pit look even smaller than it was, apparently. Good times. (Oh and I also found a random new yellow DashCon staff shirt which I've squirreled away in a box somewhere cause I thought it was hilariously telling of the state the con ended up in. I assume the person who left it was fed up, as it was pretty far into the con's chaos when I found it.) Idk if this is the kind of answer you wanted, anon, but the TL;DR is I had a good time because my group was awesome, and while some stuff was exaggerated for cringe clout on The Tumbles or whatever there was a lot of terrible shit also which I entirely dodged due to fucking off with my group when it happened, like the scrambling for funds last-second and such. Maybe someone else from the DashCon Megamind group can weigh in on that stuff! Sometimes when we end up driving into Schaumburg I see the old con hotels and look at it fondly now, tbh. The hotels we stayed at are next to the closest Ikea to me, so we end up there now and then. :3

[ecliptsukki]

his delinquent phase ❧ kaoru sakurayashiki // cherry blossom

navigation | music

➣ genre: fluff

➣ warnings: adam’s existence 

➣ request: can i request a one shot where you’re cherrys s/o and like childhood best friends with joe and cherry and adam and you’re gushing over cherrys old bad boy look with piercings and everuthing and cherry one day goes to S with his piercings and hair the same way as before just to see you fawn over him skjfks

➣ a/n: this took me three times to type up because the first two times i did it, tumblr thought it would be funny to delete it. i’m not sure if i love how this came out, but it’s still better than my original plan. hopefully this was correct to what the anon requested. enjoy!

ps: i’m also going to be going on a trip for four days tomorrow, so i’m not sure if i’ll be able to post. i’ll definitely try to start working on my other requests!

You had known Joe, Cherry, and Adam ever since the four of you were in high school. Out of the three, you had met Joe, first, not soon before you met Cherry.

You were walking down the eventful streets of Okinawa, admiring the sights and getting accustomed with the area. You had moved to the city not too long ago and already were growing attached to the place. In your defense, the city was your perfect and desired location to live in. 

A gentle breeze blew through your hair, rustling the leaves of the green trees. You sighed at the feeling of the cool breeze tickling your warm skin. Not long after that breeze had gone, another, harsher breeze blew past you. You flinched at the abnormally sharp wind, snapping your head to the side, in its direction. You were met with honey red eyes and short, green locks, swaying. 

The male slips past you, stopping abruptly.

“Sorry about that,” he smiled, embarrassed, “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

You were in awe, seeing what the boy was standing on, and on alert because you had always been taught to be cautious around strangers, especially when you were walking alone. 

“Um, no. I’m alright, just shocked,” you shrugged, replying quietly.

Another harsh, but gentler than before, wind blows past you, revealing a pink-haired male. He had three piercings on his ear and one on his lip. Half of the boy’s face was hidden by his long bangs, allowing your focus to lock on his golden eye.

“Watch where you’re going,” he snaps at his green-haired friend. “Sorry about him,” he apologizes, giving you a polite smile.

All the sirens were going off in your head.

He has so many piercings! Is he a delinquent? Are both of them delinquents? If they are, I can’t fight them off on my own. What do I do?

“I’m Kaoru,” the bubblegum-haired male suddenly said, “This is Kojiro.”

Kojiro nodded at you, an embarrassed blush still grazing his cheeks. 

“Hey, aren’t you the new kid?” Kaoru asked, finding your puzzlingly familiar.

“Oh, that’s why I felt like I’ve met you before,” Kojiro spoke up, nodding his head when he realized who you were.

Awkwardly, you shyly respond, “Sorry, I can’t seem to remember seeing you guys at school. Are you in my class?”

Until dusk, the three of you talked, getting to know the each of you better. You were also able to befriend the boys you were so afraid of, becoming your first two friends in the city.

You met Adam in the dark of night, beside Cherry and Joe.

They had brought you along, one night, wanting to skate with you. You already knew the basics of skating, nothing more, nothing less. Therefore, as your closest, and only, friends, they wanted to get further acquainted with you in something they loved. 

“Who’s the sweet cheeks?” His hoodie-covered eyes left an eerie pressure on you, causing goosebumps to emerge from your skin.

“This is our close friend, Y/N L/N,” Cherry spoke up.

“She goes to school with us, and we wanted to bring her skating. Mind her tagging along?” Joe asks his hooded friend.

“Not at all, just as long as she can keep up,” he spoke in a cocky tone.

The pretentious attitude the unnamed face had was irking you in the wrong way. He seemed too mysterious for your liking. A third of the boy’s face was hidden in the shadow of his hoodie, leaving you only able to see the blue tips of his hair and his structured nose. 

He must’ve noticed your timid stare because he looks at you, under his hood, “Call me Adam.”

 Cherry and Joe look at you expectingly.

“Just call me sweet cheeks, for now,” you reply, distantly, not ready to let your guard down just yet.

You hear your two friends sigh, chuckling to each other.

“Don’t worry, she’ll warm up to you, soon,” Cherry told Adam, “We know firsthand how she is with meeting new people.”

You blush, remembering your first encounter with the pair.

Thinking back, you still regret letting your walls down and accepting Adam as a friend. Not a day goes by that Adam doesn’t linger in your mind, as much as you’d hate to admit. 

You despise that man with a passion. From your first interaction, you should’ve known that there was something off about the blue-haired male, but pondering on these frustrations now wouldn’t change anything. As much as you’d like to curse the man for hurting your friends’ and your feelings, you knew you had to move on.

You sat on the soft mattress of your shared bed, scrolling through old pictures stored on your phone. You saw pictures taken by Kaoru when you guys went on dates. Majority of the photos were candid, seeing as he always had told you that you were the “most photogenic woman” he had ever met.

You remember the day he had told you that. You also remember your laughed reply.

“Then you’ve got the whole world to explore, my love.”

Although, honestly, you thought Kaoru was quite the photogenic one himself. His gorgeous, sorted, pink hair matched with his golden eyes and perfect face never looked bad, not even at the crack of dawn or in the late of night. 

Speaking of which, you scrolled upon a photograph of Kaoru sitting all pretty with his piercings on display. Those piercings brought back many memories, humorous and lustful.

Ironically, the thing that brought you fear before now brings you yearning.

Honestly, once you had befriended Kaoru and came to trust him, the piercings no longer frightened you but instead, fascinated you. Those metal hoops further increased your attraction to the ponytailed man, leading you to the relationship you were in now.

Obviously, Kojiro played a big role in setting the two of you up together because both of you were completely oblivious to the other’s feelings. It got to the point that Adam almost had to step in and wack some sense into the both of you.

Anyways, ever since Kaoru had started working in the calligraphy business, he removed his piercings to maintain a professional image. You detested the idea, but you also knew that it was the best for his business. 

Now that you were looking back at photos of Kaoru as a teenager, you began to crave seeing him in those metal rings once more. You missed the “bad boy” look your boyfriend used to have, not that you didn’t appreciate how he looked now. It’s just that there’s a different vibe to his current and past aesthetics.

As you stalked through more pictures of teenage Kaoru, you were unaware of the very man you were thinking about watching you. He noticed the longing and craving in your gaze. Then, he caught a glimpse of what was being projected on your screen: it was him but in his teenage years. 

Suddenly, everything clicked for Kaoru, and he had the perfect plan in mind.

Something was off. Usually your boyfriend would insist on bringing you to “S” himself but not today. If anything, he was urging you to go with Kojiro.

“He’s been your friend for the same amount of time as I. You should take this time to your advantage and catch up,” was Kaoru’s excuse.

First of all, catch up on what? It’s not like you haven’t talked to Kojiro in months. Actually, you talked to him a day ago, at “S.” Secondly, what’s up with the sudden lenience and weak excuses?

Joe, who was also in on the plan, tried to help his friend out, making a feeble attempt to lure you with free food.

“I can get free food from you whenever I want,” you replied, squinting suspiciously at your friend.

“Not with that attitude, you can’t.” That pulled a raised brow from you and a regret-filled face from the muscular man.

Though you weren’t fully convinced that nothing was off, you still left with Joe, caving into their terrible attempts of covering up whatever they were hiding from you.

You had arrived at “S” with Joe for about ten minutes now, but there was still no sightings of your beloved, Cherry. Joe caught glimpse of your searching eyes and reassured you that he would be coming, be it later than usual.

Reki, Langa, and Miya had made their way over to you, sparking up a conversation with you, making you forget about the missing presence of a specific male. 

Miya was explaining the new training regiment and diet he was to use in order to advance his strength, leading you to worry for the small teenager. If he didn’t eat enough, it could become fatal to him. You didn’t understand why a child was being treated so harshly by his managers, forcing him to eat barely anything and train long hours of the day. 

You were concernedly asking Miya if he was feeling alright and offered him an energy bar you carried around in case of emergencies, which he gratefully accepted, when you heard the cheers of fangirls behind you. Knowing they weren’t meant for Joe, you turned around to meet the golden eyes you’d fallen in love with.

This time, there was something different. His face wasn’t hidden by his mask. You could see the pale skin of his cheeks and the pink of his lips. Besides the absence of the black cloth, you noticed metallic rings decorating your boyfriend’s lip and ears. Also, his hair wasn’t whipping behind him, as per usual, but laid low, drifting in the wind.

For a hot moment, you had thought you had finally lost it, but when you blinked your eyes, looking at Miya then back to Cherry, you realized you were still sane and your boyfriend still looked like he aged back into his high school days.

“Is that Cherry?” Miya asked from beside you.

You nodded, speechless.

You heard someone let out a loud laugh beside you, “Since when did he have piercings?”

Ignoring the redhead’s outburst, you were mesmerized by the Cherry you had been obsessing over a couple days ago. It felt like one extravagant dream that you didn’t want to wake up from. In your defense, as he stepped of his skateboard, coming to embrace you, he looked straight out of a fantasy. His skin was practically glowing, and his hair gently floated perfectly onto his shoulders.

“Hello, darling,” he spoke in a sultry voice, placing a soft kiss to your forehead as he held you in his muscular arms.

“K-Kao—” you quickly realize your soon-to-be mistake and fix it, “Cherry.”

His eyes shrink as he laughs, endearingly, admiring the flustered and confused look you were portraying.

“Is this why you and Joe were being so weird earlier today?” You asked, cheek pressed against his slim, toned chest.

“Indeed, my love. What do you think? Definitely brings back some memories of the old days,” he lifts your chin, forcing you to look him in the eyes.

“I love it. It’s perfect. You’re perfect,” you smile brightly, eyes lustrous. Pushing yourself up on your toes, you whisper into his ear, “You also look really hot.” You quickly pull away, turning a vibrant red.

“I think you broke her,” Joe told his friend, placing a heavy hand on the pink-nette’s shoulder.

After the supposed one occurrence surprise, you began to avidly ask him to wear his piercings, loving how attractive and domineering he looked in them. If he denied, you would ask him to, at least, tie his hair in the relaxed half up half down hairdo. He didn’t mind the different hairstyle as much as he did the piercings so it became a normal look for him. The only times he would willingly put on his piercings were when he was going to “S” or when the two of you were safe in the comfort of your own home, for research purposes.

[stillness-in-green]

No, Re-Destro Is Not Destro’s Literal Son

and

Yes, I Will Die On This Hill

I have a number of small, persistent quibbles with some of the widespread misapprehensions I see included in BNHA fanfic, quoted as fact in meta posts, even cited on the wiki. Quirk cancellation restraints, what the 20% quirklessness data point means in practice, when Kurogiri comes into existence relative to the time of the Shimura Family Massacre, things like that. My biggest one, though, is as the title suggests: the idea that Yotsubashi Rikiya is Yotsubashi Chikara’s son.

I don’t entirely know where this confusion comes from. As far as I can tell, the early scanlations didn’t get it wrong—one rendered the line in Chapter 218 about Destro having a child he didn’t know about as being children, plural, but otherwise, they were all accurate enough. It seems people just assumed that the child mentioned in 218 must be Re-Destro, who was, after all, right there on the panel. Even though the scanlations never said it, even though the official translation never said it, even though ample evidence in the manga disproves it, the idea still got around that Rikiya is Chikara’s son.

I have and will maintain that this is obviously wrong if you stop to think about it for even a moment, but unfortunately, most people don’t. The error can be found on less well-tended parts of the fandom wiki[1]; it’s in tumblr meta posts about the villains; it’s in fanfic.

And now, god help me, it is on the official anime website, too.

“Stillness-in-green, maybe you should consider that you might just be wro—”

I will face BONES and walk backwards into hell.

But if you want, you can come with me, and I’ll explain on the way. Hit the jump.

Dialogue + Narration

There are two places where the relationship between Chikara and Rikiya is explicitly addressed—the lead-in to the dinner scene in Chapter 218 and the fight between Clone!Shigaraki and RD in Chapter 232. If you include the Ultra Analysis databook, the number goes up to four: once each in Re-Destro and Destro Classic’s character blurbs.

Let’s take a look at each of those places, shall we?

The relevant Japanese text here is in the first narration box: 子ども, kodomo.

Kodomo is not gendered. It literally just means child. The key kanji is 子, ko. Like most kanji, it has a lot of potential readings, and you can add other kanji to it to modify it. Add 息 and you get musuko, son. Pronounce 子 as shi instead of ko, and you get a term that is frequently, though not exclusively, used to refer to boys. Add 女 to that reading and you get joshi, woman/girl. 子 is in a lot of words, many of them gendered! Used for kodomo as Hori does here, though, it does nothing to indicate a gender one way or the other.

Also too, it does nothing to indicate that Rikiya is the child in question; it simply states that there was such a child, somewhere in the world. Now, the natural assumption for anyone who knows how the graphic novel medium works and who understands basic literary analysis would be that the significant character we just met is, in fact, the child in question—except that everything else we learn about Destro and the original Meta Liberation Army here makes it entirely impossible.

I’ll do a full breakdown on why that is in the next section. In the meantime, here’s the next reference:

Here, we’re looking at the phrase the Viz translation renders as, “His blood runs through these veins.” The literal Japanese there is, Desutoro no matsuei chi o tsugu mono! In a literal translation, chi o tsugu mono means, “one who inherits the blood,” or, more loosely, “blood successor.” It’s matsuei—末裔—that’s the key word here.

Japanese has several words to express the concept of “descendant.” Matsuei is one word; the data book uses shison. So what’s the difference? Well, I’ll talk about shison in a moment, but I had an inkling of it just from looking at the kanji in matsuei—“end” and “descendant” respectively, leaving me with an impression of something like a final descendant or the terminus of the bloodline. Further research confirmed it: shison can refer to any lineal blood tie, but matsuei refers to a bloodline’s final inheritor, the person at the end of a long line of many, or even countless, generations. It’s the difference between being able to point to a grandparent and the kind of painstaking genealogical research that lets you[2] point to a famous royal from eight hundred years ago—matsuei is a word that very much assumes the existence of those countless generations.

So not only does Rikiya’s line there not imply that he’s Chikara’s son, but his specific word choice also tells us that he cannot be Chikara’s son. That’s, uh. Pretty conclusive, I would say.

Lastly, though, there’s also the data book. This is, perhaps, the actual closest you’re going to get to a manga equivalent of those character blurbs on the anime website, at least until such time as Hori deigns to give the MLA types character profile pages. (I live ever in hope.)

There are two relevant bits of text, one in Re-Destro’s entry, and the other in Destro Classic’s. The first describes how Re-Destro organizes the MLA as Desutoro no chi o tsugu mono: the same phrase he uses for himself in the manga, minus the matsuei. @codenamesazanka (the one who told me about the databook references among other citations, bless) rendered it as “Destro’s blood successor”; I have also seen it given as “the successor of Destro’s bloodline.” Note again, the lack of reference to a father/son bond.

Chikara’s entry uses that other descendant word I mentioned before, 子孫, shison. Notice that the term uses that ko kanji from kodomo before? As it does in joshi, 子 here reads shi. The other kanji, 孫, means grandchild. Thus, literally, grandchild-child—or, in the vernacular, simply descendant.

And then we have the anime website.

So, for comparison’s sake, the anime website uses 息子—the same combination of kanji that I said earlier gives you musuko, son. Heck, it even uses 父, chichi, for Destro—father. It’s as explicit as it’s possible to be, and I just don’t know why or how the anime website could fuck that up so bad when absolutely nothing in the manga describes the two Yotsubashis that way, and, indeed, one specific word choice actually rules out the possibility.

So, that’s all the manga says directly. It’s not the only evidence there is, though. In fact, the next piece makes it even more clear how colossally and impossibly wrong a father/son connection for Destro and his modern successor is.

Timeline

The long and short of this section is, “Since Harima Oji was Sako Atsuhiro’s great-great-grandfather, there is no possible way that Destro—who pre-dated Harima—can be Re-Destro’s father.” If you read that sentence and nodded your complete understanding and agreement, feel free to skip ahead to the last section. If you’d like the full explanation it takes to reach that sentence’s conclusion, though, read on.

So, aside from the word matsuei, the timeline is the most telling piece of evidence to my eye. I address it secondly rather than firstly because it’s less direct than the explicit narration; it relies on drawing conclusions based on things we’ve been told elsewhere rather than on the immediately relevant text. Oh, Mr. Compress’s relationship to Harima is explicit enough, but on what am I basing my claim that Destro predates him?

Regarding that, there’s no explicit year relative to My Hero Academia’s current events given for when Destro and the original Meta Liberation Army were active; the same is true for Harima Oji’s escapades. However, we are given some broad-strokes information, relative not to current events, but rather to the history of heroism as a legal institution in Japan.

We know that there was a widespread, lengthy period of chaos following the rise of quirks—called meta-abilities in those early years. At some point, however, people began to search for a way for meta-humans to live in peace with non-metas. The compromise that was reached was the foundation of professional heroism in Japan—while the use of meta-abilities would be legal in private settings, it was only by becoming licensed by the state as “heroes” that people could use their quirks in public.[3]

The legislation curtailing the use of meta-abilities—and the appropriation of a dead woman’s language to popularize a law establishing exactly the opposite of what she used that language to call for—is what catalyzed the rise of the original MLA. Thus, we can position Destro as being alive and active around the same time that heroism as a legal institution was being formed. Since we further know that he committed suicide in prison, we can assume that his child was conceived at some point prior to his capture. Ergo, Destro’s child, were they alive today, would be as old as Japanese professional heroism itself.

Next, consider Harima Oji, the Peerless Thief, a criminal who targeted the riches of “sham heroes.” We’re specifically told that he was active in the days in which the current system was settling into place—e.g. he only became active once the Hero System was established enough to have produced corrupt heroes. We’re told he preached reformation—he wasn’t just some pre-existing criminal who saw a shiny new target in heroes; he had specific grievances which he wanted addressed by the system, and which the system was not addressing.

The earliest Harima could possibly be active, then, is concurrent with Destro—Harima fighting against the corrupt people who had found their way into the new heroic institution, and Destro fighting against using the institution of heroism to oppress non-heroes. What I think is more likely, though, is that Harima came after Destro—Harima needed to have had time to realize what kinds of fakes had been drawn to this shiny new career path, maybe even to spend some time trying to change things the legal way.

I don’t suspect they were separated by very long—I would imagine Destro was easily within Harima’s living memory, and might well have influenced why he chose the path of protest that he did—but I do think they were separate.

Moving forward, then, Mr. Compress is four generations distant from his famous ancestor. Thus, even if you assume that Harima is of the same generation as Chikara, that’s what you’re looking at for Chikara’s child: someone who, were they alive today, would be old enough to be the great-grandparent of a thirty-two-year-old man.

Re-Destro’s probably a few years older than Mr. C, sure,[4] but that man doesn’t have Ujiko’s slow-aging quirk. Unless you want to start pulling theories about cryogenic stasis the story for some reason never saw fit to mention out of thin air, Re-Destro is in no way old enough to fit the bill.

This is backed up by one other piece of the timeline as well, and one more place we can look at language:

The small child at the center of the image is Rikiya, so young that he’s in schoolboy shorts for a meeting otherwise so formal that he’s been made to wear a tie. He’s, what, six to nine here, tops? And the adults speaking to him say that they’ve been in hiding for generations—代々, daidai, the kanji for generation followed by a kanji that just means, “See that kanji written right before me? Yeah, just read that one again.”

The original MLA was active for only a handful of years, and, per Chapter 218, they didn’t dissolve until Destro was captured. Thus, we can assume they have been in hiding since then, but not before then. With that in mind, this is another line that renders a father/son relationship impossible.

Remember, Chikara already had a child in the world circa his capture. If Rikiya were Chikara’s son, then Destro’s capture and his army’s subsequent dissolution could not have happened any farther back than nine months plus however old Rikiya was in this exact moment of his youth. Rikiya, who we see here as a child of less than ten.

Ten years in hiding doesn’t make one generation; it damn sure doesn’t make multiple ones.

Now, you could make theories about cryogenic statis that would explain this ludicrous discrepancy, sure. You could also theorize about e.g. artificial insemination,[5] or time stop quirks, or any number of other possibilities in the vast panoply the HeroAca world offers. The point is, though, that you don’t need to. There was, in the manga, no discrepancy that needed to be explained. It is only fanon misinterpretation and a glaring disinterest in the series’ villains from official sources that have presented this issue.

I’m praying that it’s all just a misunderstanding on the part of whoever maintains the website, and that the anime itself will render the relevant bits of dialogue correctly. Given the extreme cuts and alterations that My Villain Academia has been subjected to thus far, though, I’m sure you can appreciate my being concerned.

…So that’s the meat of it. The idea that Rikiya is Chikara’s son is wrong simply on the basis of what’s said in the text, and it’s doubly wrong on the basis of the timeline. There is, though, one other thing I think points towards Re-Destro being exactly the descendant he says he is, not a son playing down the connection out of humility or something. This one is a lot more headcanon-y, though, so I saved it for last.

MLA Social Dynamics

It’s quite simple. We have, in the MLA, a group of people that venerates Destro’s bloodline to an obviously unhealthy degree, putting up portraits of him wherever they can get away with it, tagging his successor with a “Re-” as if to invoke reincarnation or miraculous return, entirely willing to throw their lives away for what they think was his cause, and others’ lives if those others say anything too scathing about the words Destro wrote, quite as if they treat Destro’s memoir as some sort of holy writ.

They venerate Destro that much, and you’re trying to tell me that they wouldn’t just call a spade a spade and acknowledge RD as the son of their great leader? Come on.

Since long before I turned up the matsuei factoid in researching this piece, since long before Mr. Compress gave us such a helpful generational comparison, I’ve held the opinion that, given a group that holds their leaders in such high esteem, with such particular regard for bloodline, the only reason Rikiya does just call himself a descendant, rather than citing the specific term for what he is, is that the specific term is distant enough that it actually does sound more impressive to just say “descendant,” rather than something like, “great-great-great-grandson.” That kind of thing just begs the question, “What took you guys so long?” or, “You and how many other people, buddy?”

Mr. Compress may have the panache to carry off a line like that, but Rikiya’s a different story. If he had something so amazing up his sleeve as, “I am the son of the great Destro,” I have to think he’d just say it proudly, not fall back on the impressionistic vaguery of something like chi o tsugu mono. Even if I had no other evidence to work with, I’d think the same—all the evidence you need is right there in the character writing of who Rikiya and the MLA are and how they talk about the man whose dreams Re-Destro was raised to carry.

A closing note: I will allow that Rikiya is being overdramatic when he uses matsuei and its connotation of countless generations. There are a few other things we can use to trace the history of heroism—Ujiko’s age, and the 18-years-or-less periods that One For All was held by its pre-All Might bearers—and running those numbers leads me to believe that it is, in fact, entirely possible to count the number of generations between Rikiya and Chikara, and the number, while higher than one, is probably not all that high. Certainly matsuei is being more dramatic about it than is entirely warranted, hence the poetic flourish of the official translation’s, “His blood runs through these veins!” The theatricality only makes me fonder of him, however.

------------------------

FOOTNOTES

[1] It was changed and reverted on Re-Destro’s page at least twice before it finally stuck in January of this year. Chikara’s page took until July to be corrected, and it’s still wrong on various other subpages.

[2] Or your kids, if you have those. Only the last generation in the bloodline is the matsuei, but that’s a moving goalpost as long as the bloodline is still propagating.

[3] This summary of events combines what we know from both My Hero Academia proper and the Vigilantes spin-off, which I recommend to anyone who’s at all interested in finer-grained worldbuilding on Hero Society Japan than the main series makes time for.

[4] I personally headcanon him as 42.

[5] To which point I would refer back to the word kodomo, and note that that word choice indicates that Destro had a child in the world. Not a sperm sample kept in a freezer somewhere, waiting for the right would-be mother: an actual child. Some quick research on my part says that the farthest that term stretches is in using it to refer to yet-unborn children, fetuses still in the womb. Seeing as Japan doesn’t even allow inmates conjugal visits in real life, much less in a setting where villains are so dehumanized that Tartarus is an acceptable punishment for them, the line about Destro “having a child out in the world” takes us right back to a date of conception no later than Destro’s final night of freedom.

[snuflin]

Hey, Snuflin I was a fan of your work, more specifically Krel lore. I just want to talk about the Twitter post you made a few days ago about Hero x Sunny, your reasoning for shipping them felt childish and your points came off more of an excuse than anything. I believe you are a good person and all, don't get me wrong. It is just concerned for how you are acting and the decisions you have made, which you may regret later on. Your interactions with kokomi and Tsukia is just worrying at the least. They are bad influences and it would be terrible if you stray down that path just "out of spite".

However if it was a imposter or someone else pretending to be you, please say, because it would be best to speak up now or have your reputation ruined over a misunderstanding.

I wasn't going to answer this ask because I felt like the ask was written very unkindly, but I've finally decided to answer it after receiving the latest death threat.

No, that was not an imposter, that was me. Kokomi and Tsuki have nothing to do with what I did, and, yeah, it probably came off as childish, but there was a reason for it.

I was going to add screenshots and go more in depth, but I really don't want to get back into that negative headspace again, so I'll summarize what happened. It's still a very very very long summary, though, so I'll place everything under the cut:

I created an account on Twitter in April along with all of my other social media to reserve my username in case I transitions to it. Eventually, that transition did happen, and I moved over to Twitter around July. I began following people that I loved the art of and inspired me, but then, starting about August/September, I started receiving ominous messages and threats through Tumblr. No one ever specified anything, they just said insulting things about the people I was following without ever telling me who they were talking about.

In December, someone made a hate account dedicated to me on Instagram, which narrowed the individuals they were talking about: One of them was a proshipper who is very very popular in the fandom. The other two were Sunny Side Up shippers (Hero/Sunny) that became and still are two of my closest friends. The others listed were just random popular omori artists that I followed on Twitter.

I'll say this now: I'm not a proshipper and have never been nor will ever be a proshipper. Omori is actually my second fandom ever. I left my first fandom nearly eight years ago and had not been in one since. I have never heard of these terms in my entire life and didn't know what "proshipper" meant until that hate account was created in December.

I did ask one of my friends about it, but they didn't know either. We just guessed it was a Western thing and I chose not to look further into it because I didn't want to get involved with that type of stuff since I know I do not have the mental capacity and energy to do so. I have my own problems in real life (mental, physical, financial, family, housing, education, health, etc.) that I have to deal with. I do not have the time, health, energy, and resources to research these things to make an informed decision or opinion. That's why I never say or share anything related to these types of topics on my blog or Twitter.

Being online and in this fandom has always been an escapism for me from real life problems. My only goal is to make fanart and improve my own work.

I still follow this proshipper, however, and they have never ever posted/shared/retweeted anything problematic on my feed. At most, they've participated in popular memes.

As for the two Sunny Side Up shippers, I have tried to understand why it's problematic and why people are harassed for it. My friends are constantly called things like "pedophiles" and receive many threats solely because Hero is 19 and Sunny is 16. While I understand the age gap is a little wide for some people, this age gap has always been very normal to me. I grew up with freshmen dating juniors, sophomores dating seniors. Movies, TV shows, manga, books, comics, etc. have always depicted this as normal to me. It was even the goal for a lot of people around me to date a junior or senior when they were freshmen in high school because they wanted someone more mature than the people around them. I can understand why some people would think it's a problem, but I also don't think it's a problem because Hero and Sunny grew up together and are friends. They aren't two random strangers getting together. Maybe if they didn't know each other their entire lives, then I'd second guess it.

I've been told by people that the ship is impossible because them growing up together would make Hero a groomer, that Hero would be abusive towards Sunny due to Sunny's involvement in Mari's accidental death, and something about Hero having the "upper hand" due to being a bit more mature and using said "upper hand" to manipulate Sunny. I have never seen these awful types of behavior implied in game. Hero has only been depicted as a kind and supportive of Sunny in canon. These negative things are just really weird headcanons made about Hero. Maybe something like this did happen in game, but I never found anything like it? I don't know?

I agree that Mari and Hero's previous relationship with each other does make it kind of weird, but this is also a troupe I've seen explored in fictional media before. It's nothing new and, being fictional, exploring and repairing this problem in this relationship isn't abnormal and can work out positively for both Hero and Sunny. Some people shun this relationship by saying things like "Imagine dating your dead ex-girl's little brother who accidentally killed her," but similar things could be said about everyone in the group: "Dating the person who has an unhealthy obsession with you, hung your sister, and stabbed your eye out." "Dating the boy who slashed you with a knife after you saw him for the first time in four years and then beat you up in church." "Dating the person you ghosted/ghosted you for four years..." etc. These are true, but that does not mean they're bad ships either nor does it mean the people who ship them are bad, abusive, or manipulative. It all just feels like ship wars. I can understand if Hero was 5+ years older than Sunny, but that's not the case. I don't see the point in harassing, hating, stalking, and making death threats over a three year age gap between two childhood friends.

Even after people have explained to me, I still really don't understand the problem with Sunny Side Up. The hatred I've seen for it and the people who like it is really gross. Stalking people with new accounts to bypass blocks and leave hateful comments, calling shippers awful names and terms, telling people who ship it to die... it's all very disgusting behavior.

A lot of people have explained to me that the Sunny Side Up hate is a very "first world, suburban area, Western country, privileged child" thing and to ignore it. So I decided to follow mainly non-western world artists and I haven't seen a problem regarding this ship since then.

However, I did see a new problem which is what led to all of this. In late December and throughout January, a lot of Asian artists joined with the release of the Japanese localization. As it turns out, NSFW art/writing of fictional characters in fandoms is very common and normalized in non-western world countries. These new artists were creating multiple accounts (one for their regular omori art and one for their nsfw omori art) and very excitedly sharing their Omori artwork on both accounts. The fandom felt very lively on Twitter.

Unfortunately, the very same people who harass Sunny/Hero shippers began to attack foreign artists for white washing Sweetheart/Kel/Hero and for their NSFW art/side accounts.

(Side note: I don't support white washing, but I don't believe non-western artists do it intentionally. A lot of non-western countries are racially homogenous with tons of people who have never seen a black person, a white person, nor a Hispanic person in their entire lives, especially in East Asia. They shouldn't be attacked for not knowing how people of races different from their own look like in real life. Instead of leaving a comment pointing it out, send them a DM. Very rarely is it done intentionally.)

They encouraged cyberbullying, called these new artists "disgusting", told others in the fandom to avoid them, made callout posts, and threatened their own friends into unfollowing them. It got very messy and left a lot of these new artists confused. Some of them decided to deactivate and move their content to Japanese only websites, others just switched fandoms or abandoned the account. It eventually turned into full blown out racism against Asian artists. These people were telling others to avoid any anime art style.

Thankfully, a couple were able to ignore the comments and stay, but some still refuse to interact and engage with Westerners.

This all happened in less than a month, and it escalated very fast with callout posts either every weekend or multiple times during the week. What finally made me snap was all when I saw a child make a NSFW innuendo, get harassed, labeled a pedophile, and then bullied into deactivating their account as a result.

TMany artists began threatening to quit the fandom due to this behavior, even artists who had been here since the beginning, weren't a part of this or a victim of it, but were witnessing it all. What happened to this child, artists leaving, this racism, this hate for NSFW, on top of everything else mentioned and the harassment/death threats I received myself, all of it combined, is what made me snap and speak up. I was really tired of their behavior and on the verge of quitting as well. So I created a series of tweets to tell people to knock it off, block/mute people they dislike instead of constantly cancelling them, and to stop being toxic.

That was this first thread: Here.

Other people started speaking as well about how they truly felt about the restriction through fear in the fandom. I decided to join in by talking about how sick I was of the censorship through fear and that I was going to make whatever I wanted again. I warned people that if I see them participating in hate posts/callout posts, whether through liking, retweeting, or commenting, that I was going to hard block them. This is when my blocking spree began.

That was this second thread: Here.

Instead of reading both of my threads and taking them seriously, the exact same people that I've been talking about in this entire post, the same people that created this mess, made those racist comments, harassed clearly labeled NSFW artists, and bullied others off the platform, focused entirely on the ONE comment I made about Sunny/Hero shippers and used it to label me a Sunny Side Up shipper, thus dismissing everything I had said about their behavior because a Sunny Side Up shipper's opinion doesn't matter.

That's when I realized I was fighting a very stupid and pointless battle and that, no matter what I said or did, it would never change a thing. Maybe Tsuki did influence me, actually. Tsuki is the one who made me realize that I was spending too much time and energy into this mess and that I should just "curate" my experience by blocking these people and moving on with my life. So I did.

The easiest way I found to do that was to just accept the label that was pushed onto me since the toxic people I wanted out of my life were the same people who constantly harass Sunny Side Up shippers.

That's why I made this: Here.

Some people criticize me for "forcing" myself to ship Sunny Side Up out of spite. Truthfully, Sunny Side Up doesn't bother me. It's never bothered me. I see the ship the same way I see Sunny/Aubrey, Sunny/Kel, and Sunny/Basil. I ship them all, but I also don't ship any of them. They can be cute, but shipping in general has never really been my cup of tea. It never has been, that's why "I don't ship" was in all my bios from April until February. That's also why I had never written or drawn any ship art.

I purposefully made that post to incite the creation of hate posts and threads against me and make it easier to find and block all the people who participate in them. Sure, maybe it was childish, but it worked. I got my freedom back. Plus, now the people who participate in harassment can easily spot me, block me, and avoid me.

This took a couple of hours to write. I hope that answered yours and anyone's questions about that situation.

[catastrophe-sandwich]

A little while back Google sent me an ultimatum. Pay 24 bucks a month for my and my parents Google accounts, or lose access to all my email, purchases, books, photos, decades of history. Flickr did the same thing. Cloudflare, another company I loved, got into the business of platforming the alt right. Microsoft bought GitHub and stole everyone's code for their AI training.

All these things that I liked, even loved, existed solely to be bought out, upsold or flipped for a profit and gutted. Maybe not immediately. But there's really one goal in capitalism, and that's extracting as much value from the thing as you can.

I quite love my MacBook. It's easily the best computer I've ever owned. But on the flip side I have friends I just can't contact because they use iPhones. My mum wants to know why she can't FaceTime me, and I have friend groups with group chats I'm not invited to because I use Android. This was a deliberate, documented decision by Apple to lock everyone into their ecosystem and extract as much value as they can with the least effort possible.

I fucking hate it.

But if anything has made me any more anticapitalist it's Elon.

Fucking Elon.

Twitter was a product that I loved. 15 years ago I joined, on a whim, because it was doing the same thing I was trying to make my blog do. Little updates in the sidebar. I never imagined it would have such a big impact on my life.

I think I was 21. Damn. I basically grew up on Twitter. Living through my 20s with (initially SMS access, but eventually) a permanent uplink to the hive mind which shaped who I am today. Initially I was just broadcasting my thoughts, which reflected my narrow worldview at the time. But it slowly became more of a community thing and opened my eyes to the larger world around me.

#btub was a monthly meetup of Brisbane folks, The Brisbane Twitter User Brigade. A hodgepodge group of internet weirdos who would rock up to Greystone Bar and just hang out together. Network. Get drunk. We had those cheesy "hello my name is" stickers which we'd write our Twitter handles on (@goAshley!). It was hilariously dorky, but I loved it in an ironic sort of way.

At its peak we filled the entire deck area and went late into the night.

Through the years I met some of my best and closest friends on Twitter, through btub and otherwise. Eventually it became maybe not mainstream, but a lot less about community. But it was still my uplink to all my internet friends. Any moment of the night or day I could pull out my phone and not be alone. Or sometimes be more alone than I ever was, depending.

I always said I would leave Twitter when they introduced ads in the feed. They introduced ads years ago, but I still loved that place. They introduced the algorithmic timeline that amplified hate and surfaced other people's anxieties to make them yours. But I stuck around because you could turn that off. Jack Dorsey introduced crypto to the platform and I still stuck around, reluctantly, because that's where all my internet friends were.

Then Elon Musk.

I was willing to see it through because I used to like the place. But I don't think anyone was prepared for the speed it devolved. Elon seems to be an outlier in this tale of capitalist bulldozing, because there's no motive here other than that he appears to be a complete fucking idiot. But nevertheless It's clear he has no respect for this thing that we have collectively loved, and he's certainly not going to make it a safe or pleasant place to be from now on.

It's heartbreaking. The end of an era. All because the rich man wanted to own the internet.

The hive mind, my avian companion, custodian and curator of my thoughts existed solely to be bought out, flipped for a profit and gutted. Fucking capitalism.

Anyway this whole post came about because I love Automattic. They do really good stuff and Tumblr is lovely…