#the closer would be great for her like girl plot twist you are your biggest op and strongest ally 💀

[moonsavior]

writing for Queen!mc is dangerous because if I’m not careful I will write one of those "i'm a reincarnated princess isekai'd into the enemy King's court!" type manwhas/webtoons/comics

[ask-everafteracademy]

Sooo Lavinia? Thoughts? And if you could, is there anything you'd change about how they handled her character?

Ooh. Hm. Alright, full transparency, not the biggest Lavinia fan. And it's a shame really, because her route and her character did have a lot of great potential to it. My main issues were how the general plot with the flower charm felt recycled from Ezra's route (not the writer's fault, it likely wasn't planned for her to have a route at the time it was written), but it still felt kind of cheap. Also wasn't a fan of the way the lore and underlying plot of the series was glossed over. Yes, I'm aware that the purpose of Lovestruck was romance first, but when the rest of the routes focus a lot on the plot, having one that doesn't really makes it stand out in all the wrong ways. That and the way Lavinia was characterized left a lot to be desired. As an immortal powerful queen, you'd expect her personality to reflect that. However, throughout the route, she felt more like a whiny teenager going through a rebellious phase. Which sucks because again, she had so much potential. Still, I mean no disrespect towards Lavinia fans, she's clearly very popular so maybe it's just an us thing. But I'd much rather read Ezra's route, and I'm saying that as a lesbian lol

-Lightkeeper

I can appreciate how positioning a "villainous" character like Lavinia as a love interest helps us see the main cast from an opposing point of view, to showcase their flaws and a contrasting side to them, likely poising to make a statement on morality. It often was very entertaining to see everyone butt heads! I was really curious to see how she would have grown from villainous to perhaps virtuous, so I'm disappointed we'll never know now.

I have to agree with Lightkeeper in that a lot of Lavinia's route seems to borrow from Ezra's. Their relationship dynamics certainly resemble each other. Both began adversarial and argumentative, and through those arguments the LI warmed up once FMC earned their respect. Though Lavinia's feelings for FMC shift from respect into devotion when FMC proves she's a rare individual who extends her compassion and benefit of the doubt, and even faith in her ability to become a better person. EAA's overall theme of the transformative power of love rears its beautiful head once again. (At least, I hope I'm remembering their dynamic correctly.) Maybe upon closer reading, and a long overdue reread, of both routes, I'll be able to better appreciate the differences between Ezra's and Lavinia's romances.

Taken by itself, Lavinia's characterization was fun, as your sort of archetypal delinquent/bad girl hiding heartbreak this time with a fairytale twist, but it was sadly that—just sort of archetypal. Considering she's a centuries-old entity with fairy blood lacking a piece of her heart, I think it would've been really cool to see that reflect in the way she relates to and is seen by humans. Ethereal, whimsical, dangerous? Creepy and unsettling, imposing and mysterious and utterly alien. A force of nature rather than a petulant, brooding rebel without a cause. Anything to justify her fearsome reputation and the main cast's prejudice against her? (Unless that was based off nothing but hearsay, as it was with Ezra, which could have been the entire point! but that would undermine the theme of her story as outlined by her route summary)

Put simply, I wanted to see her character concept taken further, particularly her fae heritage, which would have made the route more fun for me in a few ways. This would have 1) more heavily foreshadowed the Titania twist and made the reveal more satisfying; 2) raised questions about nature vs nurture (after all, what is Lavinia's major?); 3) distinguished it more from Ezra's story, which is about a fundamentally good person whose reputation is smeared by a third party, and made it about someone whose bad reputation is deserved and who must earn her redemption; and 4) allowed us to witness a struggle to reconcile who Lavinia initially is with the image (FMC's image?) of an ideal partner, and from that starting point, watch her become that more suitable partner.

But this is a university setting, and a fluffy romance story. If molding the Ice Queen into a figure you'd be more likely to meet at university was the goal, then I would've liked to see some clearer justification for or exploration of why she's this emotionally stunted for an ancient queen. Something to do with her missing heart shard? Maybe that was coming down the pipe. Again, we'll never know.

Overall, I wasn't terribly fond, since I do have pretty specific tastes and I readily admit that I have my own strong biases. I'm sorry to disappoint anyone looking for a more wholly positive viewpoint! But I'm glad there are people who do love her.

– Pathfinder

[xavadak3davrax]

A little check in on Lawyer! George

Warnings: Smut (18+) pussy slapping, sir kink, just porn with little to no plot (?).

a/n: Sorry I haven’t posted anything but mental health sucks sometimes and mine as been in pieces. This a little check in on Lawyer George. Also for anyone reading I will probably write other stuff that is not Fred or George. But doesn’t belong in the harry potter world. I’m very into Loki and bucky and steve rogers from the mcu world so yeah :) i will keep doing stuff for them to. just adding a little bit of spice. Also sorry for any mistakes! 

This is based on this story. 

In a lifetime, a lot of things can happen. y/n just never thought that for her it would be the fact that she’s dating one of the most successful lawyers England has ever seen, or that she would sleep with him, spend so much time at his apartment that it’s also now kinda of hers…

But it happened to her. And it wasn’t easy. Although they had Fred’s approval, when word got around in the office, things got hard for her. The gossip became harsh and eventually some people who worked closely with y/n turned on her because ‘she was sleeping with her boss’. It took her a while to grasp her new reality, but the truth was, she was head over heels for the ginger boy, and if people around her couldn’t understand they were in love, then let them be. If there was someone who was good at separating work from relations was her. After their heated encounter in Fred’s office, it never happened again in the work place. There were times where it was close calls, but it was all George’s fault given his cock was hard twenty for seven, given he had to look at the woman he loved work hard, and effectively and honestly that was a big turn on for him.

But y/n always stopped before it could get any more heated. Always excusing herself with a ‘I’m sorry sir’ and then turning around to go on her way, shamefully hiding her smirk from her boss, who had to stand in the middle of whatever place they were in, hard, and sweaty from their heated make out session.

George never quit trying tho. Even in the days y/n came to the office from his home, and they probably had some time together that morning, he just couldn’t get enough of her.

“y/n, thank you. Would mind just reminding George of the meeting we have in ten? He’s been a little lost today.” Fred said, looked at y/n for a mere moment to take the documents she was giving him and then looked at his work again. Cases had been flooding non stop ever since they had win one of the biggest cases ever. y/n, now a permanent lawyer at the firm was more than happy about it.

She smirked a little, taken the fact that Fred wasn’t looking then turned to walk to the door.

“Sure boss.” She joked, hearing Fred groan at the name. Then, as smoothly as she could went to George’s office, knocked on the door, and didn’t even expect an answer before barging in.

Only to catch her boyfriends with a hand on top of his pants massaging his hard cock. She then had confirmation that the outfit she chose did do it’s wonders. She always wore suits, but usually the blouses she wore underneath were work appropriate, but recently and after talking to a friend outside work she thought she would change a bit, make it a little harder on him. After all, she’d taken notice how much more intense their sexual encounters would be. Today with her suit she chose a lace black body, it was still work appropriate, specially in the way she did her suit jacket, but George had definitely seen it this morning when it was not so appropriate.

“See your brothers right, then.” She closed the door behind her, and rested her body against it with her hands behind her back, looking at George, with his head back, and his hand almost squeezing his cock had hard as he could.

“Baby.” He sighed loudly, his head turning to look at her his hand still in the same place. “You look…” he couldn’t finish is thought, she was consuming everything in him. His thoughts, and now his scent given she was just a few meters away. “Please help me.”

“You know I won’t baby, but you can always help yourself.” She smiled, walking closer to his desk and leaning on the other side of it, her breasts came into better view.

George had always understood why she didn’t want to it, but today when she had chosen this outfit out of all the others he couldn’t help but get more frustrated.

“You can’t do this to me y/n you know that.” Dominance had taken over his voice a little bit more. He took his hand out of his cock, and then got up. She stiffened, turning her head to the side to see him come up to her. His hands came on either side of her arms and squeezed. “Walking around in that lacy body, no bra, unbuttoning it only when I’m around, knowing people around here know about us. You know what you’re doing, and yet...” he came closer, his breathing in her neck, she shivered. “yet you still don’t let me take you.” He kissed her just on the spot he knew she liked. “Right here baby, on my office, in my desk, I’ll make it quick, you know it.” His voice was raspy, filled with list.

y/n was close to loosing it, her voice already trembling. “F-fred said you have a meeting in ten. He a-asked me to w-warn you.” Her hands that supported her body on the tip of the desk turned white from the force she was putting on them.

“Great then, I have ten minutes to make us both cum baby, do you think I can do it?” One of his hands came to unbutton her jacket and then came down a little bit more and stopped at her pants, asking for permission.

In that moment y/n knew she couldn’t hide it. It had been always hard to deny him in the work place. It had been so good when they did it the first time, she had just gotten so paranoid with everyone else, to think about how good they both had felt.

“Please, sir.” She murmured, body coming to meet his. George took the hand close to her pants and forced her body down against the desk. Their back turned to the door, that was unlocked.

“You will stay like this, and you will take my cock and make no sound, understood baby?” he whispered raspy. “Can’t have some noise asshole coming in here seeing the way I’m ruining you.”

“Yes, sir.” y/n’s hands had come up to rest next to her head. George took no time and undoing her pants pulling her underwear down, while also taking a look at the wet spot they had.

“How long have you been wet?” He asked, she didn’t answers right way, the coolness of the air of the office hitting her wet, hot pussy was to much for in such a vulnerable state. He slapped her pussy, not hard, just enough and the way she liked it to have her body squirm beneath him. “I said, how long had this pussy been wet?” he had to control the tone in his voice to not become so loud that anyone passing outside the door could hear.

“Since this morning, sir.” She murmured.

He laughed, jokingly at her. “This morning? You pathetic little baby, wet since this morning? And what made you wet ahm?”

“You sir, wet from the shower.” She said above a whisper, her pussy so wet her juices were starting to cover her pussy lips and coming down her inner thigh. George brings his hand again close to her pussy and plays with her clit, thumbing around it, playing with it before giving it a slight pinch making her moan. He slaps it again, but not hard, just as a waring.

“I said, be quiet.” He heard her little ‘sorry sir’ and then continued the assault on her pussy. Two of his fingers circling her wet entrance before thrusting in hard, brushing her g-spot making y/n bite her knuckles to contain her moans. George’s fingers had always stretched y/n out the best way possible, and they were long enough to hit the spots only her vibrator could, but never her own little fingers. George always teased her about it.

George twists his fingers in just the right way to caress her velvety walls in the way he knows she likes, and then scissors his fingers inside her making her knees buckle and shake.

“S-sir please.” She murmured.

“Baby, so little time and so many things I wanna do to you. I always do you know it don’t you?” She nodded. “You always love my fingers, you always love to fuck yourself on them. You love to suck on them like you suck on your favorite lollie… my cock.” She clenched hard on his fingers from his dirty words and George let out a small moan at the feeling. “And I always have to stretch you baby, you are always just the snuggest little thing ever. Always.” He had been avoiding with his fingers her g-spot, just to make her more needier for him, but this times he hits continuously, make y/n have to hold her moans by biting hard on her lip. Her pussy spasmed around his fingers warning him of her orgasm. He pulls out, his fingers covered in her juices, and spreads it around her pussy, bringing them to his mouth to taste her.

“Always taste the best dirty girl.” He smirks, and then brings his hands to undo the belt of his pants pulling it down, along with his boxers making his cock spring free. His cock had been hard since he entered the office this morning minutes after his girlfriend, and so by now and after having his finger in her pussy, he his licking from his tip, he his read and swollen and twitching from the pleasure.

He rests one hand on her back to keep her in that position while the other comes to his cock, strokes it two times before bringing it close to her pussy and thrusting inside her. Her pussy engulfs his cock, tightens around him as he sinks himself as deep inside her as he can. He thrusts into her over and over again, his cock being hugged by her smooth and velvety skin makes him groan lowly, the hand on her back dents her skin there because he also has to be quiet and it’s hard when she feels so good.

“Just, the dirtiest pussy, baby.” He whispers, the sound of his balls hitting her filled pussy it’s all that can be heard in the office and for a moment she’s scared people outside can hear it. But George’s dirty words and his movements take that thought way just as quickly as it came. Her hips push back to meet his making him bottom out on her, and he stops for a moment, and so does she, both trying to remain calm and quiet but he’s completely inside her and it feels too good for both of them.

“Please, George, fuck me, hard.” She tries t say it quietly but her voice breaks around moans.

He doesn’t answer and just gains his force again to keep fucking his cock in her soaked pussy, that’s so wet squelching sounds can start to be heard.

“You are so close baby.” He says, his hand coming to gather at her head forcing it down on the table. “Squeezing me nice and tightly like you can, letting me know I’m owning this pussy just right.”

And that’s when y/n explodes around him, she tightens so much that she pushes his cock out of her, her body quivers all over and the tips of her fingers tremble form the orgasm, trying to hold onto to something. George forces his cock back inside, chasing his own orgasm that’s even closer now that he just saw his girl cum the way she did. He doesn’t need much time, just the right movements and the squeezing of her pussy and he’s emptying himself inside her. y/n almost cuming again from how intense and hot his orgasm is. And how he groans close to her ear, her name, and the pet names he as reserved to her.

He pulls out, cock now soft and all wet from her juices and his cum, her pussy ruined but fulfilled and smiles on both his faces.

“What were you scared of exactly?” He asks after a while trying to regain his composure.

It takes a bit longer for /n to come back from the place she was in. She was still laying on his desk and George had to bring her up carefully, he kissed her jaw and then slowly turned her to him. She was ruined and he would have been worried were it not for the smile on her face.

“I love you.” That’s all her brain could master. More words than that was hard, and after anything they did y/n always felt immense love for the man in front of her.

“I’m taking that as a ‘we’re doing it again’ no?” he said, smugness evident in his voice. With the force she had she slapped his chest.

“Yes.” She murmured resting her head on his chest. “And you’re late to the meeting, lucky Fred didn’t barge in here or anyone else and saw what we were doing.”

“You mean, me fucking the life out of this pussy and claiming it as mine?”

“George, you’re disgusting.” She said, but they both knew she was playing.

[iantoin221b]

Prompt: You`re a killer, dumping your latest victim into the river. Just as you`re about to be done, you spot another person; Doing the same thing. And they just spotted you.

I can`t remember which blog I spotted it off and it was about two years ago but here we are. Have some murder buddies.

5. The number was slowly climbing. Killing was easier than I had expected. As a species, we clearly, are not meant to survive; poor hearing, relatively slow reflexes and we don’t listen to our instincts – When the hairs on the back of your neck stand up; don’t ignore it.

Tonight’s victims: A short middle-aged man with surprisingly long black hair, almost like a drummer but it didn’t seem to match. People were a mystery, but you know, it worked for some. With a sigh, I lugged the body out of the car (don’t worry, he was all wrapped up safe and the car was covered so definitely no fingerprints) and rolled it toward the river (because boy was this guy heavy!) and kicked him in after adding a few rocks to his feet; after all, I couldn’t have him floating to the surface now could I? With a grin, I dusted my gloved hands on my jeans and looked out across the moonlit water when…

FUCK! HOLY FUCK! Across the river there was a woman with light blond hair and an open mouth and not to mention, she was. STARING. AT.ME! I`m pretty sure she had just seen me kick my latest body into the water. OH SHIT! She knew, I was caught, I was going to jail, it was all over!

Wait….

The girl smiles at me as she raises a similarly gloved hand before, she too, rolls her own body into the water.

THIS CHICK WAS A KILLER TOO! Plot twist of the fucking century.

I wasn’t going to jail! and hey…she was waving at me…maybe she wanted to be friends? Murder friends? Is that a thing? Do people do that? Huh…only one way to find out, I guess. Well, unless she tries to murder me but I`m pretty good at it sooooo I suppose we`ll see on that front.  With a smile, waved back and held up my finger to show I was on the way, watched her nod enthusiastically before jumping in my truck and heading over.

 She was lingering by the trees, her hair tucked behind her ears and…a baseball bat…a bloody baseball bat in her hand. Welp. Guess I wasn’t the only one that was nervous.

“Hey” I opened with a half-wave, making sure one hand was touching the hilt of the knife that I kept hidden in my jeans. Safety first.

“Hi…I umm…I saw you with the, well, you know. Its cool to know we pick the same lake” she blurted, stepping a little closer and lowering the bat.

“Yeah, I gotta say, I was pretty surprised to be honest.”

“Me too! Although it was random, I mean this was my first umm, thing, I`m just hoping I`ve done it right.” I couldn’t help but smile at her shyness, it was actually kind of sweet.

“This is my fifth, he was actually a little boring, he didn’t even run or anything.” I told her with a huff, the first guy I killed had been so much more exciting; all the screaming and running away and the begging! It was great, especially when he was an absolute dick to everyone. She giggled a little.

“Mine was sleeping, didn’t even see it coming.” It was a good start, easy and she couldn’t get caught.

“Clever, I like it.” The smile I got in response was worth the comment.

“I`m Casey”

“Melina”

“Will you do it again? You know, killing?” Casey asks quietly, lowering her bat completely and stepping a little closer.

“Probably, I`ve got a rapist on my list. That guy has got to go.” I told her seriously, cocking my head slightly when she opened her mouth, didn’t say anything, and then closed it again. Casey took a breath and opened her mouth again.

“Could I…I mean…Could I come with you? Learn? And you know, maybe help? I mean, not like you need help at all. You`ve clearly got this down but it would be nice for me you know?” Now the rambling was cute, really cute and the little blush was adorable. I didn’t even have to think.

“Sure, definitely.”

“Really?! Really?! Oh! That it so exciting!” Casey practically squealed, her bat clattering on the floor as she practically flung herself at me for a hug. I let out a little laugh and hugged her back just as tight.

“I`m thinking Thursday? You free?” I asked with a raised eyebrow as I pulled back.

“Thursday! Yep, Thursday is really good. Do you want to take my number?” Casey was already pulling out her phone and before I knew it, she`d sent me a text and we were planning a ‘murder date’…at the coffee shop…at the park…I mean, at least it came with hot drinks and well, good company. She grinned at me one last time.

“I`ll see you Thursday then!” and with that, she was jumping into her car and speeding away – it never was good to linger. I shook my head and pulled off my gloves as I watched her tail lights disappear into the woods. Who thought murder could lead to friends?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Murder buddies, that is definitely what we are. Casey and I had literally spent the whole afternoon together, chatting about people we hate (because for murderers that is an excellent conversation starter) …and we ended up on dogs? I mean, dogs are great, but it is not where I thought our conversation would lead to. At all. Anyway, back to Casey, the girl…well…woman, she is 23, lives down town in a small apartment with her German Shepard called Mika, she`s into reading and she honestly sounds like she has the biggest DVD collection which I`m quite frankly jealous of, and she works in a Library. We were actually pretty similar; out favourite show was Game of Thrones, we shared a mutual love for the Inheritance Cycle and we were both big dog girls. Even if we hadn’t met when we were getting rid of evidence, I`m pretty sure we would have been the best of friends regardless.

“So we`re meeting at yours on Saturday, 8pm?” Casey questioned as she placed her second empty coffee cup on the table, brushing a strand of blond hair out of her face with a frown. Okay, 8 was a little early to meet up for murder but I know that they`re showing some Game of Thrones re-runs and it would be nice to hang out for a little bit and well of course, talk about the murder we were planning, mostly the murder. Its not like I wanted to cuddle up to her and make her smile. Nope. Definitely not. Nope. Murder buddies, that’s it.

“Yeah, I could pick up take away maybe? It would probably be easier.” Lie. Liar. Liar. It was not easier, not for me and not for her.

“As long as its pizza or Chinese.”

“Pizza it is, there is this great place downtown.”

“Great! I`ll text you what I`m feeling because honestly that can change by the hour, never mind the day.” I let out a soft chuckle and nodded in response, I certainly knew that feeling. Casey grabbed her bag with a happy sigh and stood up.

“I`m sorry I`ve got to leave, Mika has a vet appointment. Silly guy got his head stuck in between two of the fence posts in the park and has cut his whole neck. I swear to god he has no brain cells.” She closed her eyes, definitely contemplating how Mika was that stupid, before she headed off with a last wave.

I smiled to myself and headed up to the till to pay off my tab, pausing when the guy looked confused.

“Your tab has already been paid for…By the blond girl you were with?” The poor cashier hedged. I simply bobbed my head in response and walked out of the café, barely paying attention to my surroundings as I thought it over.

Shed paid for my drink (and my cake but that’s not the point) as well as her own…I mean, we had got separate tabs to kinda prevent this and she just paid for it? Did it mean something? Was she just thanking me for letting her join me on Saturday? Or was this something else….

Nope. Its nothing. Casey is just that friendly and that’s that. There are no hidden feelings behind it, not from her and…um…not from me so were good, I`ll just beat her to it next time. You know, you snooze, you loose and all that jazz. I stopped in the middle of the path and grinned to myself.

I was definitely paying for takeaway on Saturday.

[rhaellatully]

Mom was a what? (Fanfiction)

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20364460

FF.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13370716/1/

Summary: While talking about her last quest at the guild Nashi learns something she didn't know about her mother.

The sound of growling filled the street, and it told Nashi one thing. She should have eaten before boarding the train. She had thought that if her stomach was empty, she wouldn’t have felt sick during travel. She had been wrong.

She made her way toward the guild painfully. Thinking of a different dish with each of her steps. The though of going home instead crossed her mind. But between a longer walk and a meal cooked by Mira and a shorter walk and cook a meal herself, the choice was easy to make. If her dad had been home, she might have gone there. He was the cook of the family. She and mom could manage, but would always try to avoid it.

She was able to see the guild building ahead. It brought a smile to her face. Ever since she had been a little girl, and probably even before, Nashi had spent more time there than at her house. In her heart it was her true home, and every members of the guild were her family. A feeling most members shared.

She remembered how she and the other children of mage used to race there after school. And how Alexis won every time. One time she and Marina had spent the all race trying to make him fail, to no avail. Over the years they had stopped their childish games. But the feeling she had when she entered the guild back then was the same she felt today.

She kicked the door opened and announced loudly her arrival. The entire guild greeted her with one collective shout. She made her way to the closest table and raised her arm at Aya to come take her order. She made her way toward Nashi, she had to go from one end of the guild to the other, but it barely took her ten steps thanks to her great height. Aya was the tallest member of the guild. She could have been quite intimidating, if it weren’t for the kind smile that never left her face. She was also incredibly beautiful. She had a dark skin, and black curly hair through which small ray of light twinkled. She had feminine curve that were emphasized by her always-stylish skirt. Aya was the embodiment of feminine beauty. Or so her mother always said.

Nashi could not say she was as gifted as Aya, she was of average height and was almost entirely flat chested. The only actual curves of her body were the one provided by her muscles, which were especially visible on her arms. The biggest problem was of course her skin, where one could see patches of scales scattered at different places. They were left overs of a draconification process that had affected her as a child. The guild and her parents had thankfully found a way to stop it before it spread over her entire body. Nevertheless the scales were here, and frighten strangers. The worst had to be the one on her face, which spread from her right ear to the side of her nose, and from cheekbone to the right side of her lips. Her right ear wasn’t the one of human but of a dragon. Her pink hair, cut in a bob that stopped at the middle of her neck, were her best hope of hiding it. Over the years she had learnt to never put her hair behind her right ear.

“You haven’t ate before taking the train” stated Aya. Nashi confirmed her statement with a nod. “So it will be a entire chicken with plenty of mash potatoes, and a large piece of bread.”

“And-“

“And a good pint to go with it.”

“You know me too well.” A smile made it’s way to her face; it was good to be home.

She took out her book, as she waited for her food. That’s how she usually red, as she waited. As a child, she would always read a book before going to sleep, but in her teenage year, as she had decided to become a mage, and therefor focused more on training and quest, she had started reading less and less. And as her reading decreased, her conversations with her mom lessen.

Nashi simply had no idea what to talk to her about. The one thing that should have been able to talk to her about was her love life. But it was the one thing she never wanted to talk about with her mother.

But once she was done with that book, she would definitely tell her mom all about it. The story was rather simple, an overused plot really, but the author had such a singular way to talk about it, that it became the most intriguing read. That was something her mother would love to hear. She only needed to read one hundred more pages. Maybe she’ll tell her all about it, in a few weeks.

She had almost finished her chapter when Aya brought her two very large plates. Nashi putted her book away immediately and dug in like a wild dog. The feeling of her belly slowly being filled was probably the greatest in the world. Eat, drink, breath. Eat, drink, breath. Eat, drink, breath. She could do this all day.

When she was half way through her dish, with a belly less empty and her appetite under better control, she called toward the table in front of hers. Sitting there was sited Aska, daughter of two mages of Fairy Tail, and her former babysitter. She smiled kindly at Nashi, but from what remembered of her childhood, the sighed of her stuffing her face, mustn’t have been one Aska enjoyed.

“What did I miss?” she asked the best she could with her mouth full.

She twisted her mouth and then forced herself into a smile before answering “Nothing much” she paused thinking “Let’s see, Viktor and his team accidentally destroyed half a town in their last mission, Master is thinking of moving Fionn to a double S rank, and Marina was forced to go on a mission with her mom”

Marina was fifteen, a year younger than Nashi, and she couldn’t stand to go on mission with her parents anymore. That Nashi could understand, she, herself, had need a lot of fighting, arguing and protesting to finally be allow to go on missions on her own. But Nashi always wondered what it would be like to go on a mission with her mom. She had suggested that her mother could simply work on her books while they were traveling, but she had insisted that she worked better and faster at home. Therefor until recently, Nashi had always gone on mission with her dad, sometimes Aska, and one awful time with Alexis.

The last time she had told Marina she was lucky to be able to go on mission with both her parents, the two of them had gotten in a fight. This time Marina had won. But currently Nashi had 59 wins as opposed to Marina’s 57. Nashi liked Marina, and liked fighting Marina, she was a good opponent. Marina felt the same. All in all they were good friends, who enjoyed beating each other up. They had been told that their fathers had been the same at their age. It hadn’t really surprised them, since both man seemed to always in a competition with the other.

Nashi tended to wonder how it was back then. She had learnt a lot of strange things over the years. Like the fact that Juvia and Gajeel used to be members of a rival guild, or that the old man Macao had at some point been the master of the guild, and even that grandpa Gildarts hadn’t known that Cana was his daughter until she was already over twenty. Those must have been some crazy days.

After having filled her belly and socialised with most of the guild, she had decided that it was finally time to go tell the master about her last quest. She found her in the back of the guild with Mira Jane, a great mage and the most wonderful cook she had ever met.

As soon as she approached master Scarlet noticed her “Ah Nashi, how was your mission?”

“It was alright, all I had to do was dress as a maid to get in a Manor still some book and give back to it’s rightful owner, some of the other maids were rather good fighter so I had fun.”

“I see” said the master.

“This sounds like Lucy’s first mission!” chipped in Mira Jane.

“Who?” asked Nashi.

“Your mother” said Master Scarlet naturally.

Nashi didn’t answered. She had no idea what kind of mission her mother could have done, especially one that would involve dressing up as a maid to infiltrate a manor and steal a book while fighting other maids. Maybe it was a writer thing?

The confusion must have obvious on her face because the two older women leaned closer and told her “You know your mom was mage, right?”

The words echoed in her head but she didn’t seem able to comprehend them.

“Mom was a what?”

 Nashi ran faster than she had ever run in her entire life. Master Scarlet and Mira had given her explanation after explanation but she still couldn’t believe it. Her mother, a mage! That would never have crossed her mind. Never in her life had she wanted to talk to her mother so badly.

She nearly ripped off the door when she got home. She quickly made her way to the kitchen, as she always would when getting home, but there was no one there. Of course, since her father wasn’t home.

“Mom!” she shouted before it stroked her that her mother would obviously be in her office.

She jumped up her stairs, ran to the door and started banging like her life depended on it. Her mother opened with a worried expression on her face. Her eyes were so wide that the wrinkle that had recently appeared their conner almost disappeared. In the small distance between her desk and the door she had managed to completely mess up her hair, which were now sticking out at odd angles.

 “What’s wrong?” she asked in a worried voice.

 “You used to be mage?”

 Her mother stood motionless, then said “Yeah… I mean I’m still, I don’t go on quest anymore but I’m still a mage… what about it?”

A millions questions ran through Nashi’s mind but the first one she managed was “What kind of magic do you use?”

“Celestial magic” said her mother as if it was obvious.

Nashi paused to consider “So you can summon spirit and stuff?”

“What did you think Plue was?” asked her mother with a little distress in her voice.

Nashi didn’t answer, to be honest she had always though Plue was just a weird dog, nothing more.

Her mom sighed, “Let’s make sure we have something to eat before we get into that conversation” Nashi gave her a worried look, “We’ll odder out.”

Nashi gave a relief sighed, and followed her mother as she went down the stairs.

“You know I used to know how to cook, I mean it wasn’t great, but it was editable.”

“You what?”

 During their meal her mother went on about the different mission she had gone on, her life at the guild, and many other things about her younger days. She learned quite a lot of incredible things. For instance it was thanks to her father that her mother joined Fairy Tail. Her first mission was indeed similar to Nashi’s recent one. Most of her babysitters had been celestial spirits, some even zodiac keys. And her parents used to be part of the guild strongest team, along side the master herself!

 “Why did you stop?”

“My dream was to be a writer, for a while I tried to do both, but the quest… they really slowed down my writing process, and I quickly learnt that if I wanted to make it as an author I had to prioritise my writing. So I started taking less and less mission until I completely stopped. I have to admit I miss it sometimes…”

“Then let’s go on a quest together!” Nashi blurted out. She hadn’t truly though about it but she knew from the bottom of her heart that she wanted to do it. Her mother was a bit hesitant at first but it didn’t take much to convince her.

The next day, Nashi ran out of the house while shouting to her mother that they’d meet for lunch at the guild. The first thing Nashi did when getting at the guild was to look for a quest to do with her mom. She wasn’t sure what to pick though. She wanted to do something fun and exciting, but after all theses years her mother had to be rusty. Many quest that looked great seemed to be a bit too much. The one she knew for sure her mother would have no problem doing were the one she knew would far too boring for her.

She had already spent a good hour trying to find the right quest when a voice interrupted her. “Looking for a new quest already, Aya told me you had just came back.”

Nashi turned to see Marina, “I though you were on a quest with your mom”

Marina sighed angrily, and her dark eyes narrowed, if her black hairs weren’t neatly cut in a short boy cut they would have been ruffled by the quick movement of her neck.

“I swear they’re overprotectiveness multiplied by ten the day Ul joined the council. I’m not a baby anymore they should let me go on my own.”

“I’m going on a mission with my mom and I’m glad” offered Nashi.

“Your mom?” said Marina “She needs material for her book?”

“No she’s a mage.”

Marina stared at her, Nashi stared back. She didn’t know how long they stayed that way, but she couldn’t blame Marina for it. She had been surprised to learn that about her mom, she couldn’t imagined how it was for someone like Marina who wasn’t part of her family and didn’t really knew her mom.

“What?” she finally asked.

“Just go ask your parents. “ answered Nashi who had other things to do at the moment.

She went through all the requests on the board, too difficult, too easy, too far. She always found flaws in the request. Usually she could find a good request easily, but the day she decides to good on a mission with her mom there’s nothing! For a second Nashi thought of setting the board on fire, the knowledge of what the master would do to her calmed her.

Nashi was pretty depressed. She went to sit in the guild and buried her face in her arms. This seemed so unfair, after so many quest accomplished with her dad she couldn’t go on one with her mom.

“Are you okay?” asked a voice that she recognised to be her mother.

“I didn’t find a quest” moaned Nashi.

Her mom took a sit across from her, “that’s okay” she said “I wasn’t exactly planning on leaving on a quest today.”

Nashi pouted, it made her mom smile, she answered with a frown and her mom chuckled.

“You have the same face as when your dad told you, you couldn't have a dragon for your birthday when you were four.”

Nashi chuckled, she didn’t really remember any of it, but her father often told her about how she wouldn’t talk to him for a week. Come to think of it most of the tales her parents told her their younger years where either of her first years into the world or of her grandfather who was a dragon. Except maybe for a few anecdotes meant to embarrass their friends. Truth be told, she didn’t feel like she knew much about her parents, hell until yesterday she didn’t even knew that her mom had been a mage.

“Tell me about your days as a mage.”

Her mother took sometime to think, before she started telling her about a quest she and her father had gone on with the rest of their team. Nashi realised that one of the great things about having a writer as a parent meant that even just the old memories were well told. Her mother chose each of her words carefully and always just right. Her language was fluid and pleasant to hear. She was only cut be Aya who came to take their order for lunch.

But Aya wasn’t the one to come and give them said order. No, oddly it was Mira who came and handed them their dish. Along with it she gave Nashi a piece of paper. “I think you were looking for that.” She said before leaving.

Nashi looked at the paper. It was a quest, not any quest, the perfect quest for her and her mother to go. A group of Balkan terrorised a village, Balkans were easy to beat up and mom was familiar with them. She showed it to her grinning.

“I can’t leave right now, I need to advance on my book and-“

“But mom it’s the perfect quest for us! We have to go, we never know when were going to get this opportunity again! Come one! Mom please!”

Her mother sighed and agreed.

The village was at a one hour train ride from home. This one hour had been a nightmare for Nashi but she had pulled through. When they arrived, they went to get more information about the Balkan group. Nashi did most of the questioning, her mother listen. A few times Nashi spared her a glance. Her mother looked uncomfortable, unsure of what she should do. It had been too long, hadn’t it?

At that moment Nashi worried that bringing her mother here might not have been a great idea after all. What if she could barely fight anymore? If she ended up getting hurt, it would be entirely Nashi’s fault. How would she forgive herself? How would she faced her mom.

She had gathered that the Balkan were in a mountain nearby, when came the time to go there and get the job done, she paused and asked her mother if she really wanted to come. Her mom assured her that she was coming. Nashi instead that she didn’t really had to come, that accompanying her this far was more than enough. Her mother smiled and insisted that she had started a quest and would end it.

It didn’t reduce Nashi’s worried. She did her best to keep an eye on her mother during the fight. Every time she saw that she was having a bit of a difficulty Nashi stepped in. Her mom hadn’t fought in years and the longer the fight got, the closer her moments of difficulty were. At some point she had more of her attention on her mother fight than her own. And this is how she ended up pined down by three Balkans.

They were rocks digging into her back and claws cutting her skin. Her brute strength wasn’t enough to get her out, and summoning her flames would only hurt one, she new that if she only got one out, two more would come to take his place. She had to find a plan, the pain made it hard to think.

There was a cry and suddenly she was free. She looked up to see her mom, she looked different, her outfit had changed and the symbol of the Taurus was imprinted onto her skin. Her mom had told her about this technique, but actually seeing it was something else.

“Are you okay?” asked her mother worriedly.

“Yeah”

“Then let’s get rid of the rest”

The managed to finish fast and the next day they were back at the guild. There, Nashi stood up on a table surrounded by a few other guild members.

“I was pined down no escape possible and then-“

“And then your mom saved you. We heard the first five times” cut Aya.

Nashi wanted to punch her, but she liked too much to do so. Instead she went to every other guild members and told them the story, again. Most of them had a similar response to Aya. Nashi still went after each of them, no matter how many time they asked her to go bother someone else. She didn’t understand what they were mad about, they got to hear a great story about her mom, instead of Alexis, Fionn or the other usual! They should be happy, Nashi knew that she was.

After having been told off by every member of the guild she went pouting to the table where both of her parents were dining.

As she sat down next to them her father said, “I can’t believe the two of you went on a quest with out me.”

“We needed some girl time” said her mom and Nashi offered her a grin.

Her dad gave her mom the puppy dog eyes.

“Next time, we’ll go all three of us”

“Great there’s that quest-“

“I finish my book first!”

It was with great pride that Nashi gave the master a report of her quest with her mom. She went through all the detail, like she had with every single members of the guild. Master Scarlet seemed happy to hear it. She even talked about how she was glad to hear about her mom on the battlefield.

She told the story again and again to every one she met, the only ones who didn’t seem to get tired of it were Mira and the master. So, quickly, telling them the story of her mom saved her happened every time they met.

“Mom doesn’t look like it, but she is actually fierce!” she ended her story with once.

“It’s hard to believe she was born a princess.”

“What?”

“Oh Yeah, your mom’s dad was a very, very, rich men. You’re mom grew up on estate and all” explained Mira.

Nashi stared.

Mira stared back with smile.

Nashi started.

The master looked at her confused.

Nashi stared.

She finally opened her mouth and said “No.”

AN/ Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this.

I have lot of headcanon about the next gen, I wanted to write at least one fic with them, so that’s done, if people like it I might write some other. So tell me what you think of this.

[lukn4inspo]

Welcome Home, Mr. Winchester

 Pairing: Sam Winchester x Plus sized Reader (Y/N)

Words: about 1,200

Summary: Pretty pure smut. There’s a tiny smidge of plot, some happy Sam, and bow chicka wow wow. The guys get home from a good hunt and Sam has missed his lady.

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, Reader is called slut but it’s not derogatory, spanking of butt and breasts,  unprotected sex (this is fiction not real life, be safe y’all),   Smut, practically all smut, but kinda sweet too, oh yeah and some Size Kink 

A/N: This is the first fanfiction I’ve written so just seeing what I think of it. Plus, there’s a dearth of plus size reader smut and somebody needs to fix that. If you want to know how the rest of their steamy night goes, let me know and I’ll write it.

 Sam pulled his cell phone out of his pocket as Dean hummed along with the radio and turned their headlights toward home. It had been a good hunt. Satisfying. They’d surprised the creature and it was one of those rare occasions where things went smoothly. No lives were lost, no injuries to themselves other than a little muscle soreness. It was so easy in fact that he was still in hunter mode, extra focused, and he planned to capitalize on that. Oh yes, he was gonna be good to his lady tonight. So many times, hunting left him and his brother drained, tired, and stressed. Not the best bed partner, in other words. So whenever he had the chance, he made sure to give his Y/N everything. He planned to take such good care of her that she never wanted to leave his side.

 Hello, gorgeous. You awake?

Awake and missing you, sexy beast ;)  He chuckled lightly.

Oh, yeah? Miss me enough to be wet and messy and ready for me when I get home?  He could just picture how she’d shiver at that. Y/N loved it when he talked dirty.

God, yes. How long til you get here?

About 3 hours

I’ll be waiting.

 He squeezed his thigh at the promise. Laying his head back on the seat, he let his mind wander to the times he’d come to her like this before. Her full body giving under his hands and lips and thrusts. Her sweet pussy helplessly gushing over his cock because he’d learned her body so well that he could draw those deep orgasms from her every time. It was more than enough to keep his blood simmering and his focus sharp til they reached the bunker. And if he had any say in the matter there would be many more nights like these.

When they pulled to a stop a few hours later he was out the door and taking long strides before Dean could say a word. Then, he remembered. “Hey, Dean?”

“Headphones! I am going to go to my room, put my headphones on, and listen to music because I’m tired and I don’t want to be disturbed by any loud noises.”

“Sometimes you’re a great brother.” He slapped the doorframe on the way in, Dean forgotten in an instant. He opened his door quietly and there she lay sleeping, halfway on her stomach in a soft, burgundy cotton gown. One of her favorites. Too bad it wouldn’t survive the night. His eyes drifted down over the dip of her waist, her thick thighs that he liked to wrap his hands around and squeeze, and there half-hidden was the evidence of how much his Y/N missed him. Her biggest dildo had fallen most of the way out. The head caught on her labia and presenting him with a view of shiny pink flesh.

He stripped as he moved closer, still not waking her. Something about her sleeping in his bed, waiting for him all vulnerable and soft and exposed brought out the beast in him. He made sure not to put any weight on the bed as he leaned in for a closer look. Close enough that his breath against her flesh surrounded him with her scent. God, she was wet. And he was ready to touch.

He stretched naked behind her, wrapped a fist in her hair just hard enough to melt her, and slid his fingers up her soft thigh. Kissed and sucked at the back of her neck as he worked the dildo back in. They played with this one a lot so he knew exactly how to use it to greatest effect. How to grind and tease at her sensitive spots then thrust with a little twist, hard and direct til she cried out. He still grinned at the thought that her biggest toy was nothing compared to him and she’d worked herself open to be ready to take him as soon as he got home. He kept his hand and mouth moving until she was fully awake but still so relaxed.

“You really did miss me, didn’t you baby? Dirty little slut all splayed out on my bed with a toy still inside you.” She moaned and pressed her ass back against him.

“Mm-hmm. Yes. Missed you.” Her voice was soft but getting louder already, her walls still sensitive from playing earlier. He used the hand in her hair to turn her head sharply for a consuming kiss before sliding down and splaying her thighs open. She moaned long and low, all her barriers still down from being asleep. He could tell she was already close to orgasm so he quickly flicked his tongue up and down on her clit and when she was just starting to come he removed the dildo pushed his cock into her. The groan she gave as she fluttered and gripped him made his belly tight and he barely pulled back an inch before shoving in hard. She whimpered when he folded her leg over and turned her hips to the side and did it again. Her flesh was swollen and she was pressed tightly around him. “So big Saaaam.”

“That’s right, baby. And you love it. You’re gonna be so sore tomorrow. Do you know why?” His thrusts lengthened but didn’t lose strength.

“C-cuz I’m a slut.” He ripped the dark red covering off her tits and squeezed harshly.

“MY slut.”

“Yes!”

He slapped her ass and then her breast in quick succession. “Say it.”

“Your slut, Sam.”

“Fucking right you are. You gonna scream for me, my sweet dirty girl? I can feel you getting close again. You’re gonna gush all over me because of that spot right there.” He held her hips and pulled her into his thrusts, circling the head of his penis over her g-spot on every in and out stroke. She was wailing, made desperate by his words and intimate knowledge of her body. “A little more. You’re almost there. Come on my cock, baby. Soak me.” He smacked her ass and tits again to give her that last push then she was clamping down hard on him and screaming like he said she would. He gasped and had to pull out. As much as he loved coming inside her, he wanted something else right now.

Her flimsy cotton gown made a satisfying rrrrrrrrip as he tore it down the middle and came all over her stomach and chest. When he collapsed onto his left arm, he nuzzled his face against her breast. “God, I love these. Perfect size for my hands. Perfect nipples.” Even tired and slurred, his words and voice sent aftershocks shivering through her.

He dragged a finger through his come and painted her lips with it just so he could kiss it off slow and deep. Helpless little moans escaped her throat. He chuckled, taking his time writing Sam’s slut in sticky white on the so-soft skin of her chest. That pleased his possessive streak immensely and he squeezed her broad hips as he started to grow hard again.

“Think you can go again or are you too sore? Do I need to kiss it better first?” She mewled and dug her fingers into his hair. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

[peepeethepissking]

FILM NOIR REC LIST

THE MUST SEE’S—DETECTIVE NOIR:

[‘44] Laura: Follows a cop investigating the murder of a well loved socialite as he questions the people closest to her—notably an esteemed writer that helped advanced her career, and her fiancé, a fellow socialite with a poor reputation. The lead is very endearing and the film pulls off one of the most natural twists I’ve ever seen in a whodunit. My only real complaint is that the romance felt a little rushed, but it’s a small price to pay for an otherwise delightful movie.

[‘44] Murder, My Sweet: It’s unsurprising that this is a good film, because it’s based on a book by Raymond Chandler, one of the founding fathers of the hard-boiled detective genre that paved the way for film noir. Humphrey Bogart notably plays the same character, Philip Marlowe, in the Big Sleep. This is one of few films that I think really successfully utilizes an in-media-res frame. It follows Marlowe through two intertwined jobs—a search for a thug’s old girl and the truth behind a jewelry fence. I was surprised with how well it handled the two simultaneous storylines without letting them become too confusing.

[‘46] The Big Sleep: As the above film, this is based on a Raymond Chandler book. This is the only time Bogart depicts Philip Marlowe, and he’s considered one of the best depictions of Marlowe to ever hit the silver screen. This one doesn’t handle it’s plot quite as delicately as Murder, My Sweet, and I honestly ended the film with…a lot of confusion. But even so, it’s a very fun watch, and it feels like a true noir classic. It starts off with Marlowe getting a job from a sickly old colonel to poke around a gambling debt his daughter has acquired, and it follows Marlowe poking his nose in all kinds of businesses he’s not welcome in. [this notably has been recommended by kevin vibert himself!]

[‘47] Out of the Past: I’m not sure what it is, but this is by far my favorite noir I’ve seen, to date. Poor Jeff Bailey gets an unwelcome reminder of his dark past as an amoral P.I. one day after he’s reestablished himself as a small town mechanic. Cornered by an old client that’s much too powerful, he takes on one last job while trying to protect his new life, and his new love. It’s half flashback half real time, but it handles that quite well. My biggest complaint is that the ending is pretty far from what I had wanted, but it’s all for the sake of art, I suppose.

THE MUST SEE’S—TRADITIONAL NOIR:

[‘45] Mildred Pierce: This film starts with a murder, and then within the frame of an interrogation tells the story of Mildred Pierce’s life after divorcing her first husband. This film doesn’t quite feel like a noir—it’s brightly lit, it features a female lead and no real “fatale” character, the murder isn’t really the focus of the film—but when you look at the real “message” of the film it lines up with the traditional noir pretty neatly. It’s about the disillusionment of capitalism as a fix-all, it’s about how heartbreaking unconditional love can be, it’s about how hard life will always be for some people. It’s a very frustrating film to watch because of how poorly Mildred Pierce is treated, but it’s a very cathartic film to watch because of how transparently realistic it is.

[‘46] The Blue Dahlia: This one’s a real classic, but I personally can’t decide if it was outstanding or forgettable—which I’ll grant, to have that strong of a discrepancy, it must’ve done something right. It’s a trope that we haven’t seen otherwise on this list, the unreliable memory of a freshly grounded war veteran. You get the facts immediately, with an opening scene that shows one of the gang is just a little troubled from his time overseas. It’s a whodunit that follows a mostly ensemble cast after the ‘lead’ runs out on his wife, then finds out she’s been murdered. What really makes this film worth watching is the end scene, which of course only works at all because of the groundwork laid in the first hour of the film. It keeps you on the edge of your seet with an unreliable narrator kind of confession and then whips you around and wraps everything up with what really happened in like, ten minutes. It’s absolutely dizzying and a real explosion of an end.

[‘50] In a Lonely Place: Another delightful Bogart movie, because, well…I like Bogey, what can I say. This film doesn’t really feel like a noir until you get about halfway through, and everything starts to build up and gain tension. It has a very satisfying ending for a film that almost feels like it isn’t about anything. I’d say it’s especially worth watching because of Miss Jeff Donnell’s absolutely wonderful performance as the-best-friend’s-wife. As far as the plot, it follows a screenwriter that happens to be the last person to have seen a murder victim alive, and is therefore a suspect in the muddy case. It does a great job of making you doubt every character, and the truth of the murder is successfully withheld until the very end.

THE B-SIDES:

[‘47] Crossfire: This one’s split between being a police procedural and a veteran noir, but I think it follows the vets around more than the cops in the end, so I’m putting it here instead of under “detective.” Fair warning—this film deals with antisemitism, and the central murder is revealed to have been a hate crime (don’t worry, though—the overall message of the film is that we shouldn’t judge our fellow man before we get to know him). We follow Sgt Keeley while the police question him and try to find his best friend, the prime suspect in a recent murder. Played by Robert Mitchum, notably the lead in Out of the Past, Keeley is a breath of fresh air—as all of Mitchum’s characters seem to be. He’s charmingly a sort of father figure to the other soldiers, and you find yourself rooting for his friends simply because their his friends. This film has probably the weirdest setup for an arrest I’ve ever seen, and I doubt it would hold up in court, but it’s a classic noir ending, nonetheless.

[‘47] Dark Passage: This movie is just incredibly fun to watch, because it’s such a product of it’s time. It has some of the goofiest filming decisions I’ve ever seen in an A-Lister! The beginning is shot in first person, through the eyes of the lead. It feels like playing a dating sim, almost. It’s made very sincerely, though, which really carries it through the humor, and makes it very fun and strangely light hearted. It follows a man wrongly convicted of murder as he escapes prison and tries to find out who framed him, with the help of a local fanatic that followed his trial and believes he’s innocent. Bogart is delightful to see in such a strange role, and Lauren Bacall has an incredible performance that would’ve just felt insincere from anyone else.

[‘49] D.O.A.: This movie follows a guy as he tries to find the man that fatally poisoned him. It’s an interesting twist on the whodunit where the “murder victim” himself is the one trying to find out whodunit. It uses a flashback frame in order to start immediately with that “who’s been murdered?” – “Me!” twist, but beyond that shock value, the frame is really unnecessary. This one’s would’ve been much more fun to watch if the main character wasn’t such a dick to women. The answer to “who did it and why” was also…a lot more confusing than it had to be, which left the end feeling a bit muddled. As a side note—here DOA stands for “dead on arrival.”

[‘53] The Big Heat: Follows a cop as he investigates a suicide that should’ve been an open-and-closed case. The closer he gets to the truth, the more trouble he gets into—and before long, it seems he’s gotten himself wrapped up in a world of crime that infiltrates even the police station, and the men in charge will do anything to keep his nose out of it. This one’s really classic, and it conforms so well to the genre that it almost feels forgettable—but it’s the fact that it is so true to the genre that makes it worth watching.

NOTABLE ABSENCES:

[‘44] Double Indemnity: I watched this movie in three separate parts because I fell asleep each time I tried to finish it. It’s a kill-the-husband-so-we-can-be-together type of movie, and it’s also notably an insurance adjuster film instead of a detective film. This one’s a real classic that almost everyone says is a must see, but personally I thought all the tension was killed by the unnecessary flashback frame. If nothing else, this one is worth watching because it’s absolutely dedicated to the well known tropes of the noir, but for me that just wasn’t enough.

[‘46] Gilda: Gilda was almost a good movie. Glenn Ford did an incredible job acting against his typecast—this time portraying a charming crook that got his job running an illegal casino by counting the right man’s cards. The movie was just too unorganized, though. It’s a sort of 3 act show that just goes further downhill the longer it goes on. There’s a couple of song-and-dance scenes that feel all but thrown in simply because Rita Hayworth does indeed know how to sing and dance, and the end kind of blows up in its own face without a proper set-up. It’s cinematically a beautiful movie, but I was disappointed by how messy the plot ended up being for something with so much hype.

[‘58] Touch of Evil: Allegedly the last classic noir made in the true film noir era. I watched about a third of this film before calling it quits, which I will admit, is rare for me—I like to suffer through to the end just incase there’s that one scene that makes a movie worth it (see the Blue Dahlia, for example.) This film is about “marijuana, murder, and police corruption,” and it takes place in a California-Mexico border town—which is a big part of what made me quit out. It felt tired and cliché in way that was just a little too close to racist, and I found myself without a real reason to root for the main characters.

as I continue watching noirs, I will update this here to include new recommendations, my watch list, and an “honorable mentions” section

[lightsandlostbells]

Druck season 2, episode 5 reaction

Sorry this is late! You can blame it partly on the ~polar vortex~ and partly on fatigue. 

anyway, who’s ready to solve the great mystery of the ages, Whose Dick Is That

Episode 5

Clip 1 - Hotel Hardenberg

The doorbell is ringing. Mia wakes up in utter contentment, love that little shot of her foot stirring. The apartment seems to have been tidied up and Alexander’s bed on the floor put away.

Alexander has left her Post-Its as a parting gesture, there’s one on her phone with a heart. Charming move! He comments that she snores. Also charming from a certain perspective (that perspective is Mia is adorable). His other Post-Its in the apartment indicate that he’s made her rosehip tea and thank her for staying at Hotel Hardenberg, what a dork. 

Mia gets up to go but then strips the bed. A sign of her compulsive neatness and need for order, especially after that order has been broken by staying at Alexander’s? Or just her wanting to be a thoughtful house guest? Or her wanting to erase the evidence of her presence? All three?

On the way out the door, Mia runs into Björn, who describes himself as a friend of Alex. So, probably not his brother. He’d tell her if he were his brother, right? Saying “I’m Alex’s brother” seems more trustworthy for most people than “I’m Alex’s friend.” And he gave his real name, we know that Alex is referring to a Björn in his text messages with Sam, so Björn can’t have been worried about Alex telling Mia about him and Mia knowing who he is.

Björn says he’s here to get something. I sure bet Alex doesn’t know about that! Something shady is happening! He asks her name and Mia gives it to him. Ohhh, dear girl, you don’t know it but that was probably not a good move. (The biggest plot twist would be if Björn was some totally harmless guy that Alexander had wronged, so Björn was trying to avoid him at all costs and Alexander was trying to find him and apologize.) (I 100% do not believe that is the case but damn it would be a trip.)

The clip started with the doorbell ringing so that must have been Björn. Was he trying to see if Alex was home so he could sneak in while the place was empty? Because evidently Björn got into the building fine, and usually there’s better security in those places, and he’s the one who opens the apartment door, not Mia, so he must have had a key. My guess is that Björn is like the sister’s boyfriend/ex/friend who would have had access to the apartment before Alex moved in.

Alexander sent her a text that he’s in London, doing business/real estate stuff for a few days. #ishereallythatrich - Heh, but what are the odds he’s doing something else?

So I bet that’ll come back eventually, that Mia saw Björn entering the apartment, and she didn’t tell Alex right away. But damn, imagine if Mia hadn’t woken up with the doorbell and Björn walked in on her while she was sleeping. Or if she hadn’t left yet and caught him rummaging around through Alexander’s shit.

Clip 2 - Linn the apartment ghost

One week later due to the hiatus, Mia and Alex are texting. When he asks her how she’s doing, she starts to type out a friendly reply but then stops herself, but unfortunately Alex can see when she’s typing

He asks her to go out for a drink, she says she has to study. They have some “banter” and I know they are flirting but it just makes me tired that part of their dynamic is “I won’t go out with you” followed by “Are you sure?” It’s an issue that extends beyond Winterberg, Noorhelm, or any other version of this pairing - men are socialized not to take no for an answer from women, and it’s too prevalent in real life to really get over it in fiction. Like this texting could’ve been about anything else, more banter about them snoring (Mia says he also snores) or her playing the piano or his Post-Its or literally anything other that this no-yes-no dynamic. 

It’s exacerbated because it is a case of “Well, she doesn’t really mean no, she does actually like him.” Mia almost seems disappointed when Alex stops texting back. And again, one of my big problems with how Noorhelm and all its equivalents have been portrayed is that we don’t need more stories where a girl keeps saying no when it turns out she kind of means yes. You can’t separate this individual story from the larger cultural trend. 

LMAO, Linn announces her presence by loudly slurping on a drink behind Mia  She just wanted to see what’s up with Mia and has been standing there a while. This moment is played for laughs but I think it’s also meant to be a reminder that hey, Mia and Alex aren’t in their own little bubble, other people exist and are eventually going to find out that something’s happening with them. It’s almost like Mia has been caught. 

New shot during the end titles of Mia in a hoodie looking dramatic. So far we haven’t seen any of these little end scenes in action. Are these just for promo? I think it’s more likely that they’ll happen in a later episode, I just find it interesting that none of them have taken place yet.

Clip 3 - Dicks in the air

Photocopies of boobs and blurred out dick drift by like tumbleweeds with nipples as Mia heads into the school. A girl hands her a boob picture for some reason, as if Mia needed one for personal use.

When she steps into the school, there’s boobs and ass and dick and the middle finger everywhere. We can hear a literal buzz as people observe. Accompanied is graffiti that says Abi Chaker Clan 2019 - 12 Years Family! Lmao, is that a teacher frantically trying to gather up copies on the stairs? You try your hardest, sister.

Kiki steps up and observes, takes a picture of the display. Where have you been, Kiki? Last we saw you, you were breaking Carlos’ heart.

Kiki thinks she recognizes Alex’s penis in the pictures, and Mia is like “get that picture out of my face plz.” Kiki hands it to Mia as she walks away, and Mia can’t resist a glimpse of the dick, which is blurred out for us viewers, by the way. I’m just laughing at the thought of Kiki the dick detective solving this whodunnit. Remember on New Year’s where Mia was kinda “???” about Kiki’s future profession and ended up with influencer? I would say Kiki’s true calling is solving phallic-related crimes and picking dicks out of a lineup except, as we learn later in the episode, she ain’t that great at it after all.

Hanna shows up in an echo of Kiki’s entrance and is like, WTF, we’re in trouble. They see Alexander and Jonas hugging it out in the distance and are like, when did they become friends? So I’m guessing this graduation prank is taking the place of the Yakuza fight, and it’s Alex and Jonas who have the suspicious friendship rather than P-Chris and Isak. I APPROVE. The Yakuza thing has always been out of place IMO, tonally, and I didn’t like how the fight ended up leading to excuses against William smashing a bottle on a dude’s head. This prank is something that’s serious but not so serious that I’d consider it a red flag/dealbreaker against Alexander. It’s also a lot closer to Mia personally, and affects her and basically all the characters - the Yakuza thing felt weirdly disconnected from Noora and the girl squad, only something that involved them because they happened to witness that one fight and some of their friends/boyfriends were involved. 

It’s also a replacement for the Penetrators trashing the cabin, and I fully realize that this is hypocritical but I also prefer this somehow even though it’s functionally the same thing, destruction of property. Maybe because again, it’s more connected to the rest of the characters as a plot point.

There’s this rather extravagant shot of someone throwing a bunch of the copies over the banister and they float down around Mia, just a ton of boobs and butts and dick wafting like snowflakes, and it’s so ridiculous that I love it.

Clip 4 - Mia keeps some interesting things in her bag

Leonie’s leading a meeting, again. This time it looks like more of the graduating class, not just the committee. She explains that somebody, probably several people, broke into the school Saturday night and made copies of their …. She trails off and Carlos helpfully supplies the displayed body parts with anatomical precision.

Someone give Leonie’s actress an award for that brief look of disdain at Carlos after he says “You’re welcome” and before she turns away. 

Because someone sprayed the Abi Motto on the wall, the school thinks someone from our year did it. Carlos and Jonas call it bullshit, fake news. Just as an aside, I’ve seen the term “fake news” pop up as a joke in SO many films and TV shows recently, including that Kurt Russell sexy Santa movie, and like ... I certainly understand why and I’m not opposed to “ironic” usage, I’m also just aghast that we’re at a point where it’s mainstream, you know? 2019, man.

Anyway, one of the new and expensive copy machines broke from the prank and “copy orgy”. Sam whispers to Amira that they didn’t just make copies - so was there a literal orgy on the copy machine? Or just the weight of people’s asses broke the machine? 

Kiki says she thinks it was Alexander, and I thought it was extremely fishy for Kiki to be so quick to blame Alexander, and that maybe she was involved in the prank or even trying to frame him, but obviously that turned out to not be the case. So I think she just wanted him to be guilty so he could get in trouble. And she’s telling Mia, who she thinks will be an ally in blaming Alex.

So now they owe 4500 euros to the school. Either who did it owns up and settles it with their insurance, or the school takes it out of the Abi account. Leonie gives the culprits a chance to reveal themselves. Man, what if Leonie was involved? The perfect crime, the least likely suspect…

Alex smiles over at Mia but that expression fades, Sara waggles some xeroxed breasts at him and he smirks. So those are her boobs, right? She seems pretty proud.

No one confesses to the crime, so Leonie says they have to raise the money again, thanks for nothing. Lmao, Leonie is such a hall monitor type that she’s really growing on me.

There’s some tense music as Mia is exiting the room, and of course Alexander is waiting for her. She walks right by him, to the door. On second thought, she turns around, pretends to rummage in her bag (we see she still has the dick pic so I guess the possibility that it’s Alexander’s is enough for her to keep it around) and then pulls out what she was looking for - a middle finger. That’s so petty, I’m in love with her. She goes out the door and Alexander does not seem pleased.

I mean, to be fair to him, Mia did jump to conclusions right away. (Conclusions that happened to be right, although not about the dick pic.) And I think this was in a way about re-establishing the natural order of things, getting back to “Alexander’s a selfish asshole” territory rather than her liking him, in addition to the whole class being punished. To be fair to her, too ... it’s only recently that he’s shown some decency, and he has a history of doing crappy things. 

Alex was texting Mia on Saturday, though, right? About wanting to go out and get a drink with friends? So maybe that will be used to exonerate him, he was busy with other people. (EDIT from the future: Lol, nah, his “drink with friends” turned into the prank, I guess.)

Clip 5 - Team Michi

Mia has handed over the dick pic to Hans for his opinion, I guess? Hans seems to be a penis connoisseur so I understand the sentiment. And his opinion is that it was a “heavy petting orgy” at least. He asks Michi for his opinion. Good, Michi is there! I think it’s nice if Hans is getting a little romance of his own, although he better be treating Michi right and not taking him for granted.

Hans teases Mia about why she wants to know so badly about what happened at the school on Saturday night, and if she isn’t a bit jealous. She says curiosity isn’t the same as jealousy. Sure, but the two aren’t mutually exclusive.

Mia goes to ask Linn for her opinion (Linn is sleeping already) and Michi feeds Hans. They have a little couple moment. Aww. HANS, TREAT MICHI RIGHT. He’s cute and he makes food for you. 

I’m wondering if the whole Hans/Michi thing is going to be a parallel to Mia and Alex, where a relationship that didn’t seem feasible at first becomes something real, and maybe they’ll have some relationship difficulty when Mia and Alex do. Though in the beginning of the season Hans and Michi seemed to parallel Alex and Kiki quite clearly, or at least Mia was making that connection, so who knows.

Clip 6 - Always look before crossing

Mia is leaving for school in the morning, and who should be there but Alex with two drinks in his hands. Rosehip tea or cocoa if he’s feeling sentimental. 

We don’t hear what he’s saying because Mia has her earbuds in, so it’s just the faintest sound of his voice over the music. She ignores him and goes to unlock her bike, he keeps talking, she points to her earbuds to indicate that she’s not listening. We see him mouth “please” and she finally takes out her earbuds and accepts the drink. Which I would too, because I’m shameless and thirsty and I wouldn’t turn down a free warm beverage in the morning.

There’s a little editing blip because in the clip, the music doesn’t cut out right as she takes out the earbuds, it’s a moment or two later when she puts them in her pockets. They fixed it in the full episode, though, and it cuts out when she takes out the earbuds.

Alex clearly sees Mia taking the drink as a victory and smiles. They walk along side by side by a moment until Mia calls him out for being spoiled and doing whatever he wants and not owning up to it. He says they were drunk. Wait, so he DID do it???? And he says she’s blowing it way out of proportion?? I’m surprised because I thought we’d learn that Alex didn’t do it after all. It seemed too obvious, Kiki was so eager to blame him that it seemed like a misdirect. And I mean, I don’t think it’s right that he and the others are making the entire graduating class reap the consequences, but I don’t think the prank is an unforgivable thing he did in itself. 

They argue a little and she’s about to bike across the road when Alex grabs her and pulls her back just as a car goes by, honking. She’s like … this doesn’t change anything. Alex is like, well it kinda does. “I saved your life, Mia Winter!” Well, she was distracted by him in the first place, so consider it even? (I binge-watched Russian Doll on Netflix this weekend so I can’t help but think this moment could have taken a drastically different turn.)

Mia bikes away but is smiling, which is awfully chipper for someone who just had a brush with death. I would be in the fetal position the rest of the day.

Alex stares after her and walks in the other direction. Errr … away from the school? I assume he was going back to his car, parked closer to Mia’s place.

So that mystery was done solved pretty quickly and anti-climatically. Kinda disappointing because I think it’d be fun to drag it out just a teensy tiny bit more - the mystery element of Skam is something that’s really underrated, when you think about it, even though it’s a large part of what kept people watching in real time.

Clip 7 - Sam just drops a bomb

We get a closeup of Sam blowing a bubble with her gum and then popping it. Like how she’s about to burst that bubble about Mia and Alex? 

The girls are discussing the prank and that Alexander was in on it. Kiki is like, I knew it. Damn, she really wants him to go down. I don’t blame her, though.

When Amira asks how Mia knows, Sam says Alexander probably told her. WHOA HOLD THE PHONE. Druck is throwing curveballs everywhere this episode. I did not expect to see Sam reveal this information so quickly and casually; I thought she’d save it for a more dramatic moment later on, after Mia and Alex definitely were a thing. Sam says Mia is always talking to him, and Mia rushes to explain that it was all because of Kiki (lies) and she told him what she thought of him (well, that part is true) and that Leonie told her about Alexander (another lie - not looking good for Mia).

All the girls get a text at the same time. Sam says her battery sucks so we conveniently get Hanna reading the text out loud for us viewers. Alexander has arranged a benefit concert to make up for the damage so no one has to pay extra. BOY SAM WILL BE PERFORMING, and there will be a surprise musical act, too. I’m just glad to see the toilet man again. 

The girls are excited and Hanna’s like, TIME TO STOP STUDYING. I don’t think she needs much of an excuse, really.

Alex texts Mia to say if she doesn’t come tomorrow, he’ll cancel everything 😊 GODDAMMIT. I realize Alexander is supposed to be a dickhead, but do we really have to keep this manipulative crap? Can he not just be like … arrogant and jerkish without that element?

Kiki looks at Mia getting another text, and you can see the suspicion all over her face. Sam’s comment struck a match.

Clip 8 - Mia crosses that bridge, y’all

I love when we get a long-ass Friday clip, thanks, Druck!

Mia shows up to the benefit concert by herself, and Toilet Sam is rapping onstage. Hello again! She runs into Kiki and says she’ll join the group in a minute. Does she need to talk to Alexander first?

We see Mia putting on that bright red lipstick in the mirror. I am sure she’s doing it just because she likes the color and not because there are any Alexander-related motivations that she would never admit.

Mia notices Alex skulking across the club and staring at her like some kind of Edward Cullen wannabe. It’s only episode 5, I guess they still have time to pull off a sudden vampire twist. (And I mean ... Alexander did just pull Mia out of the path of a car ... a Twilight parallel if I ever saw one.)

Of course Alex sends her a text telling her she looks gorgeous. It looks like he wants her to drink with him; however, Sarah comes up to him and gives him a hug and kisses him on the cheek and talks to him. He doesn’t look very enthused, but Mia smirks and shakes her head at him. That Alexander, up to his old tricks! Between that and the copy orgy I’m sure she’s thinking Alexander and Sarah have a thing.

People dance and drink to Toilet Sam’s performance. We see Jonas getting really wasted, and Matteo seems kinda done with it, so it’s Hanna who pulls drunk Jonas off the dance floor, and he tries to kiss her. MY HEART. But she pushes him back and asks what’s up with him. He says, you’re what’s up with me. THE ANGST. I said this last season, but Anselm Bresgott is a great actor. He’s able to convey a lot of vulnerability with his eyes. 

When this happened I thought that maybe instead of drunk Eva/Vilde makeouts we would get sad intoxicated Jonas trying to kiss Matteo in this clip, and I was all for THE ANGST that would bring. Either that or Jonas was gonna make out with Toilet Sam. 

(He did not make out with either of them - yet - but it’s OK because there turned out to be enough of THE ANGST as it was.)

Alexander comes onstage and Toilet Sam gives him a shout-out for organizing, and that they beat their goal (by almost half, awesome). They’re giving the rest of the money to plant trees on campus, to make up for all the dead ones they spent showcasing students’ genitalia. How noble!

Sarah is the surprise performance of the night! So her contact with Alexander was not necessarily about them hooking up, but perhaps her thanking him for giving her the opportunity? Sarah sings idontwannabeyouanymore by Billie Eilish. 

After some more eye contact with Alexander, Mia leaves the room and goes upstairs. But Alexander stands in her path and won’t let her go to the bathroom. Come on, dude. You’ve been doing some things right but this episode you’re doing all these little entitled things.

He’s like, Mia, what do you want. He fixed everything? Everyone’s happy, so what’s her problem? LMAO again at this entitled attitude. She owes him nothing! The thing is - even if she really really likes him and wants to kiss him and be with him - she still owes him nothing! She’s allowed not to act on her feelings because she feels it’s a bad idea! Get out of here with this attitude that Mia is doing him wrong because she likes him but won’t give in and be with him.

He lets down his hood and rakes his hand through his hair in a strangely vampire-ish way, and says there’s something between them. He likes her a lot, but he’s tired of these games. Dude, you’re the one starting many of these games now. Yeah, Mia is definitely responsible for much of what happened earlier in the season, and she could certainly be better about not contacting him, but he’s also the one showing up at her place with a drink and telling her he’ll call everything off if she doesn’t show up to the benefit. He gives her the lines about if she doesn’t like him, say it to his face and he’ll leave her alone forever. Just as he says that, Kiki comes out of the bathroom, and there’s some heavy eye contact between her and Mia, and oh right, that’s what Mia doesn’t like him, that’s why Mia can’t be with him.

Heh, he put down his hoodie to confess to her, because he was being open about his feelings, and then when she’s rejected him, he puts it back up. He’s ~putting up his wall again. 

Mia then goes into the bathroom and has a mini-breakdown, as the song switches from the cover to the original. She’s teary, she’s wiping off her lipstick. Props again to Milena because she’s really selling this season. She looks for some toilet paper, but there’s only the cardboard for the roll. So she goes in her purse for something and comes up with the Post-It Alex left her about Hotel Hardenberg. Ahhhh, now that’s a nice little detail. I’m one of those people who just ... does not clean out her purse until she buys a new purse, lmao, so I can imagine Mia shoved it in there and forgot about it, without being very sentimental about it at the time. But I like that it came back at this crucial moment.

Mia grabs her coat and runs out of the club after him. When she catches up to him, they’re on opposite sides of a bridge, so we know what’s gonna happen. Someone’s gotta cross, or they have to meet in the middle.

She says it’s cold, he offers her a beanie, she comes forward and shows her own beanie, they both put on beanies at the same time. It’s a big beanie fest. What’s important that Mia crossed the bridge and closed the gap. The symbolism is obvious, but ... well, it’s there.

She says that she likes him, but doesn’t want to like him. He’s an egocentric prick, but then he was clever and funny and nice that one Friday, but then he disappears for a week and pulls that stunt copying his dick and plastering it around the school. Alex is like, who said that was my dick? Mia is like, well whose dick was it? Alex nods over her shoulder and we see Jonas stumbling around drunk as fuck. LMAO. Mia had Jonas’ dick pic in her backpack. She was going around thinking she got a glimpse of Alexander’s junk, showing it off to her roommate, and it was Jonas’ all along! And Hanna didn’t notice it was Jonas’ dick??? 

I mean, now I get why Alexander and Jonas bonded so quickly. They’re dick twins, if Kiki can mistake one for the other. I’m sure there’s some situation where that would come in handy (no pun intended?) 

Are the two of you going to help out this completely drunk Jonas who’s by himself and who’s wandering into the street before he gets hit by a car or something...

Alex is like, do I look like someone who whips out his dick when he’s drunk? (I mean...) His penis needs to stay an enigma. Okay, goddammit, that’s funny. But Mia correctly points out that every other girl at school knows his penis, so it’s not an enigma.

When Alex is like, now what, Mia looks past him and says, “Fuck,” and when he turns back to her she’s kissing him. Damn, she’s so smooth. They dramatically kiss and he doinks his forehead against hers, it’s quite sweet. Then Alex goes off into the night, probably to find a few necks to drain. He rummages around in his coat for a moment, making quite a show, and of course it’s his middle finger he finds and flashes at Mia. Flipping each other off becoming their romantic couples’ gesture? I’m here for it. 

He also does a little skip hop as he goes. Mia looks after him, smiling. Oh, Mia. Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

So that shot during the end credits, of her looking outside at something, is not her in the first kiss scene! When will any of these moments happen?

Social Media/General Comments

The week long hiatus was explained in-universe as an “insta detox” among the girls. Matteo did not let that stop him from posting his regularly scheduled memes, though. #fuckinstadetox

Hanna texts Matteo about why Jonas and Alex are acting all buddy-buddy, which we see in the clips, too. Matteo says he doesn’t know. I thought it was meant to be a red herring and that Alex was probably not directly involved in the prank, but Jonas probably was, and maybe Jonas decided to bro it up with Alex since he liked his motto. Except then Alex turned out to have participated in the prank. I guess their friendship escalated when Jonas had his dick out on the copy machine.

But I like seeing a William have friendly interactions with other characters. That was something I thought was kind of lacking with him in Skam, that we didn’t get a ton of insight into his other friendships. He didn’t seem to care much about Noora’s friends, and he was close with P-Chris obviously, but there wasn’t a ton of detail there as to why or what their relationship was like outside of girl drama. I understand that not every character has to be extroverted and buddy-buddy with others, but it makes me think a lot more of Alex as a person when we see him forming bonds with people who he does not want to bone.

Matteo then texted Jonas about the thing between him and Alex, and Jonas jokes that he couldn’t resist Alex’s face. Matteo is jealous! But totally not really jealous, you know, JOKING jealous. Totally. And when Jonas teases him about it, he says there’s no reason to be, Matteo is the only little bitch in his life. I legit want to pass out. And I think Matteo did too, because he sent back a heart emoji. Six minutes later. What happened in those six minutes? Was Matteo just sitting there staring at his phone, wondering how the hell to respond to that? Getting butterflies and heart palpitations in his skinny stoner body?

There are pictures of the benefit with the girl squad sans Mia ... after she left to run after Alex, maybe? ~Foreshadowing?

I’m Mia right now. I was so annoyed with little things Alexander did in this episode, and I’m still pissed at some of his past behavior, and yet I am charmed by him despite it all. It’s heavily due to the performance. I can’t believe Alexander was one of my least favorite Williams across the remakes based on the first season, and he’s skyrocketing here just by virtue of having a personality.

I also can’t believe I had doubts about Mia in the first season. She has my whole heart now, fuckups and all. 

Girl Sam and boy Sam were rapping together at benefit, according to IG. What if boy Sam replaced Kasper and made out with girl Sam in the finale, since it’s unlikely Manfred will fill that role (or at least I hope to God not)? I mean, if Kiki’s ultimately gonna be chill about Mia and Alexander, Hanna being chill about Sam and Sam wouldn’t be too much of a stretch.

In an alternate universe, this season turned into the German remake of American Vandal from here on out and we spent the next five episodes trying to figure out who covered the school in dicks.

I’m not German so please feel free to correct me/clarify stuff!

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

[birdeyetheory]

Transatlanticism as a Gay Narrative

The biggest thing that made me interpret Transatlanticism as gay initially was the fact that the singer barely uses any gendered pronouns. From there, my specific interpretation of all the songs just took off. To me, the album overall reads as a story about a guy who has bad luck in love because he’s actually gay and is denying his true feelings. The album shows snapshots of his journey of coming to terms with his sexuality. Not all the songs completely tie to this narrative, but many of them lend ideas that support it. I’m just going to go song by song and give you my interpretation of them within this framework. I will also cover them in the order that I feel makes the most sense for the timeline of the story.

Lightness - This is one of the only songs where the singer appears to be talking about a girl, as he references a dress. The person seems to be suffering (“there’s a tear in the fabric of your favorite dress”) and he’s trying to figure out exactly why (“looking for patterns in the static”). This is continued with the lines “Your brain is the dam / And I am the fish / Who can't reach the core.” The “ivory lines” seem to represent the cause of this distress. However, not just the girl has these “lines”, as the next part is talking about the distress that the singer experiences. The lines “Instincts are misleading / You shouldn’t think what you’re feeling / They don’t tell you what you know you should want” scream to me that the singer’s instincts/feelings are telling him to love boys, but he knows that this is wrong because he’s been told all his life that he is supposed to love girls.

The Sound of Settling - This song is around the time where the singer is starting to fully realize his sexuality. The lines “I've got a hunger twisting my stomach into knots” and “My brain's repeating / ‘If you've got an impulse, let it out’” refer to him wanting to act on his love for other guys. However, he knows he can’t go through with it, as indicated by the following lines “That my tongue has tied off” and “But they never make it past my mouth.” These ideas are very reminiscent of the part in Lightness discussing the singer’s “impulses.” He then reflects on how his time for finding love is running out (“Our youth is fleeting / Old age is just around the bend”) and that he is going to regret never finding anyone to be with. The “settling” refers to settling for someone he doesn’t truly love (i.e. a woman) just because he doesn’t want to be alone when he’s old.

Expo ’86 - This is pretty much the “I Suck at Love” song. The cycle that “never ends” is him constantly failing at love, due to the fact that he can’t fully accept his true feelings. Still, he doesn’t want to “move [his] place in line” because then he’ll never find love and end up old and alone (as mentioned in The Sound of Settling). While standing in line he’s “waiting for something to go wrong” because of all the ways he’s messed up before. Despite all these mistakes though, he never learns his lesson (“Sometimes it seems that I don't have the skills to recollect / The twists and turns of plot that turned us from lovers to friends”). At this point, he’s basically resigned himself to never finding love (“I am waiting for another repeat / Another diet fed by crippling defeat”).

The New Year - This song is after the singer realizes his sexuality. The line “I don’t feel any different” means that despite resenting the fact that he is gay, he has to admit to himself that the feelings haven’t changed. Still, as a form of “self-assigned penance” he has “no resolutions” to actually act on his true feelings. Notice the use of the word ‘penance,’ which has a strong Christian connotation of repenting for sins. Obviously, being gay is seen as a sin in many Christian churches, so he might feel as if he has to punish himself for his feelings. Additionally, instead of coming to terms with his sexuality, he just wants to pretend that everything is okay.

Tiny Vessels - This is one of the most obviously gay songs on the album for me. It is the only one that repeatedly uses female pronouns, yet it’s also all about how he doesn’t actually love the girl he’s singing about. He recognizes that the girl is beautiful and that he should love her, but he just doesn’t, as indicated by the constantly repeated line “She was beautiful, but she didn’t mean a thing to me.” Still, he tries to love her, because that’s what you’re supposed to do when you’re a boy and you recognize that a girl is beautiful. Additionally, this could be the “settling” that he was referring to in The Sound of Settling. He goes through all the motions of loving her and tells his friends that they are together, but deep down he knows that it’s all fake and empty (“It was vile / And it was cheap”). When he realizes this, he still can’t bring himself to tell her, because he doesn’t want to accept it himself. He knows even if he could accept his sexuality, he could never be honest about it (“So when you ask, ‘Is something wrong?’ / I think, ‘You’re damn right there is, but we can’t talk about it now’”). When they finally separate, they both know that it was never real to begin with (“We’ll pretend that it meant so much more”).

Transatlanticism - This is one of the harder songs to interpret, both within and outside of the given narrative. For me, ‘crossing the water’ can be seen as a metaphor for falling in love with someone. While most people (i.e. straight people) greatly enjoy it and have great ease navigating to the person they love (“Most people were overjoyed / They took to their boats”), the singer views himself as being trapped by the love he feels (“I thought it less like a lake and more like a moat”). Additionally, he feels he is incapable of ever fully reaching the one he loves because of the figurative distance between them (“The distance is quite simply much too far for me to row”), likely referring to having to overcome both personal uncertainties and societal expectations. The chorus, “I need you so much closer”, means he wants to be authentically closer to the one he loves, so that reaching them (i.e. falling in love with them) can be simpler.

Death of an Interior Decorator - While this song has the least to do with the over-arching narrative, it does have strong ties to the song Transatlanticism. After the woman is heartbroken, she “walks into the angry sea.” As mentioned before, travelling through a body of water could be a metaphor for falling in love with someone, which is supported by the following line, “It felt just like falling in love again.” The man who left her “took a lover on a faraway beach”, meaning he is both literally and metaphorically distant from her. Therefore, she would actually have to cross water to get to him (as he is on a beach) and figuratively have to cross the water to fall in love again. However, since the love is tainted, the waters are ‘angry’, so as she tries to cross them she presumably drowns.

We Looked Like Giants - This is the other song that seems the most obviously gay to me, as it appears to tell the story of the singer and another person (presumably a boy) secretly dating. They secretly meet up at a set time and location, likely so no one knows that they’re together (“Every Thursday I’d brave those mountain passes / And you’d skip your early classes”). To me, the line “We’d learn how our bodies worked” alludes to the fact that many newly realized gay people are unaware of how intimacy works between two people of the same sex. The fact that this is the start of his experiences with other guys is also indicated by the lines “God damn the black night / With all its foul temptations” and “I've become what I always hated when I was with you then.” He still thinks that being with another guy is wrong and feels guilty for giving in to these urges. Because of this guilt and fear of judgement, they are forced to hide their intimacy from everyone else (“Fumbling to make contact as the others slept inside” and “But I've never been too good with secrets”).

Additionally, notice the parallels to Tiny Vessels, the other obviously gay song on the album. Tiny Vessels describes openness and warmth (“The California sun / Cascading down my face”) while We Looked Like Giants describes secrecy and coldness (“In a shroud of frost”). While the singer could openly bask in his relationship with the girl, he had to conceal his love for the boy. In Tiny Vessels he told all his friends and left marks on the girl for everyone to see, whereas in We Looked Like Giants the two had to be intimate in secret, and the singer was extremely paranoid that anyone would find out (“I swear on my name / They could smell it on me”). Additionally, he does not have fond memories of his brief relationship with the girl, as he never loved her to begin with, while he loved his time with the boy and regrets their parting.

Passenger Seat - This song is pretty straightforward. It provides a brief snapshot of a relationship that is actually working out for the singer. While the exact nature of the relationship isn’t specified, it’s likely meant to be interpreted as romantic. The singer is being driven home by his partner and is simply pondering the night sky. The lines “The world doesn’t matter / When you feel embarrassed / I’ll be your pride,” is him reassuring his lover that, at least in this moment, it doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks of them (likely referring to their relationship). I like to imagine that this is the same person from We Looked Like Giants, and that this is a moment late at night after secretly meeting, where they’re together and content.

Title and Registration - In this song, the singer is reflecting on a lost partner of his (presumably a boy) that he seemed to have truly loved at one point. However, for some reason their “love did slowly fade” and his lover left him. While he claims that “there’s no blame” for this, later he also says, “And here I rest / Where disappointment and regret collide.” Clearly, he regrets something about their parting, indicating that perhaps he feels it was partially his fault that his lover left. I believe that this guilt is because he was unable to fully commit himself to the relationship, as it was another boy and he still hadn’t come to terms with his sexuality. It’s likely that his partner wanted to be more open about their relationship, but the singer wasn’t ready to take that next step. He decided to choose safety over his feelings, so his partner left him. This lover could have been the one discussed in We Looked Like Giants, as that relationship was kept secret from everyone around them.

A Lack of Color - This is the resolution of the story, following the potent regret he feels in Title and Registration. In the line “All the girls in every girly magazine can't make me feel any less alone,” he emphasizes how girls cannot make him feel less alone. He’s fully facing the fact that he will only ever be happy loving another boy. After this realization, he calls a guy that has left him previously (again, likely the one from We Looked Like Giants) as he’s finally ready to have a relationship with him. Unfortunately, the guy is not ready to forgive him and refuses to “come home.” Still, the singer remains resolute in his conclusion. Closing with “This is fact not fiction / For the first time in years” indicates that he has finally fully accepted who he is and is ready to openly live as his true self from now on.

[quietya]

31 Days of quietYA: 2018 Books Your Mod Wish She Got To

I’m only human and there’s a lot of books I meant to pick up in 2018 and...didn’t. Here’s some that fit in well with this blog’s purpose.

Suitors & Sabotage by Cindy Anstey

Shy aspiring artist Imogene Chively has just had a successful Season in London, complete with a suitor of her father's approval. Imogene is ambivalent about the young gentleman until he comes to visit her at the Chively estate with his younger brother in tow. When her interest is piqued, however, it is for the wrong brother. Charming Ben Steeple has a secret: despite being an architectural apprentice, he has no drawing aptitude. When Imogene offers to teach him, Ben is soon smitten by the young lady he considers his brother's intended. But hiding their true feelings becomes the least of their problems when, after a series of "accidents," it becomes apparent that someone means Ben harm. And as their affection for each other grows—despite their efforts to remain just friends—so does the danger. . 

We Are All That’s Left by Carrie Arcos

Zara and her mother, Nadja, have a strained relationship. Nadja just doesn't understand Zara's creative passion for, and self-expression through, photography. And Zara doesn't know how to reach beyond their differences and connect to a closed-off mother who refuses to speak about her past in Bosnia. But when a bomb explodes as they're shopping in their local farmers' market in Rhode Island, Zara is left with PTSD--and her mother is left in a coma. Without the opportunity to get to know her mother, Zara is left with questions--not just about her mother, but about faith, religion, history, and her own path forward. As Zara tries to sort through her confusion, she meets Joseph, whose grandmother is also in the hospital, and whose exploration of religion and philosophy offer comfort and insight into Zara's own line of thinking.

The Deepest Roots by Miranda Asebedo

Cottonwood Hollow, Kansas, is a strange place. For the past century, every girl has been born with a special talent, like the ability to Fix any object, Heal any wound, or Find what is missing. Best friends Rome, Lux, and Mercy all have similar talents, but to them, their abilities often feel like a curse. Rome may be able to Fix anything she touches, but that won’t help her mom pay rent or make it any easier to confide in Lux and Mercy about what’s going on at home. And Rome isn’t the only one. Lux has been hiding bigger, more dangerous secrets. As Rome struggles to keep her friendships close, she discovers the truth about life in Cottonwood Hollow—that friends are stronger than curses, that trust is worth the risk, and sometimes, what you’ve been looking for has been under your feet the whole time.

The Bird and the Blade by Megan Bannen

As a slave in the Kipchak Khanate, Jinghua has lost everything: her home, her family, her freedom … until the kingdom is conquered by enemy forces and she finds herself an unlikely conspirator in the escape of Prince Khalaf and his irascible father across the vast Mongol Empire. On the run, with adversaries on all sides and an endless journey ahead, Jinghua hatches a scheme to use the Kipchaks’ exile to return home, a plan that becomes increasingly fraught as her feelings for Khalaf evolve into a hopeless love. Jinghua’s already dicey prospects take a downward turn when Khalaf seeks to restore his kingdom by forging a marriage alliance with Turandokht, the daughter of the Great Khan. As beautiful as she is cunning, Turandokht requires all potential suitors to solve three impossible riddles to win her hand—and if they fail, they die. Jinghua has kept her own counsel well, but with Khalaf’s kingdom—and his very life—on the line, she must reconcile the hard truth of her past with her love for a boy who has no idea what she’s capable of ... even if it means losing him to the girl who’d sooner take his life than his heart.

Little White Lies by Jennifer Lynn Barnes

Eighteen-year-old auto mechanic Sawyer Taft did not expect her estranged grandmother to show up at her apartment door and offer her a six-figure contract to participate in debutante season. And she definitely never imagined she would accept. But when she realizes that immersing herself in her grandmother's "society" might mean discovering the answer to the biggest mystery of her life-her father's identity-she signs on the dotted line and braces herself for a year of makeovers, big dresses, bigger egos, and a whole lot of bless your heart. The one thing she doesn't expect to find is friendship, but as she's drawn into a group of debutantes with scandalous, dangerous secrets of their own, Sawyer quickly discovers that her family isn't the only mainstay of high society with skeletons in their closet. There are people in her grandmother's glittering world who are not what they appear, and no one wants Sawyer poking her nose into the past. As she navigates the twisted relationships between her new friends and their powerful parents, Sawyer's search for the truth about her own origins is just the beginning.

Heart of Thorns by Bree Barton

In the ancient river kingdom, touch is a battlefield, bodies the instruments of war. Seventeen-year-old Mia Rose has pledged her life to hunting Gwyrach: women who can manipulate flesh, bones, breath, and blood. Not women. Demons. The same demons who killed her mother without a single scratch. But when Mia's father suddenly announces her marriage to the prince, she is forced to trade in her knives and trousers for a sumptuous silk gown. Only after the wedding goes disastrously wrong does she discover she has dark, forbidden magic—the very magic she has sworn to destroy.

Ten After Closing by Jessica Bayliss

10PM: Closing time at Cafe Flores. The door should be locked, but it isn't, Scott Bradley and Winsome Sommervil are about to become hostages. TEN MINUTES BEFORE CLOSING: Scott's girlfriend breaks up with him over the phone while he's in the cafe's basement storeroom because he's late picking her up for the big end-of-the-year party. Now he can't go to the party, but he can't go home, either--not knowing if his dad will still be in a drunken rage. Meanwhile, Winny wanted one night to let loose, away from her mother's crushing expectations. Instead, she's stranded at the cafe after her best friend ditches her in a misguided attempt at matchmaking. TEN MINUTES AFTER CLOSING: The first gunshot is fired. Someone's dead. And if Winny, Scott, and the rest of the hostages don't come up with a plan soon, they may not live to see morning.

A Girl Like That by Tanaz Bhathena

Sixteen-year-old Zarin Wadia is many things: a bright and vivacious student, an orphan, a risk taker. She’s also the kind of girl that parents warn their kids to stay away from: a troublemaker whose many romances are the subject of endless gossip at school. You don't want to get involved with a girl like that, they say. So how is it that eighteen-year-old Porus Dumasia has only ever had eyes for her? And how did Zarin and Porus end up dead in a car together, crashed on the side of a highway in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia? When the religious police arrive on the scene, everything everyone thought they knew about Zarin is questioned. And as her story is pieced together, told through multiple perspectives, it becomes clear that she was far more than just a girl like that.

An Assassin’s Guide to Love and Treason by Virginia Boecker

When Lady Katherine's father is killed for being an illegally practicing Catholic, she discovers treason wasn't the only secret he's been hiding: he was also involved in a murder plot against the reigning Queen Elizabeth I. With nothing left to lose, Katherine disguises herself as a boy and travels to London to fulfill her father's mission, and to take it one step further--kill the queen herself. Katherine's opportunity comes in the form of William Shakespeare's newest play, which is to be performed in front of Her Majesty. But what she doesn't know is that the play is not just a play--it's a plot to root out insurrectionists and destroy the rebellion once and for all. The mastermind behind this ruse is Toby Ellis, a young spy for the queen with secrets of his own. When Toby and Katherine are cast opposite each other as the play's leads, they find themselves inexplicably drawn to one another. But the closer they grow, the more precarious their positions become. And soon they learn that star-crossed love, mistaken identity, and betrayal are far more dangerous off the stage than on.

Ink, Iron, and Glass by Gwendolyn Clare

A certain pen, a certain book, and a certain person can craft entirely new worlds through a branch of science called scriptology. Elsa comes from one such world that was written into creation, where her mother―a noted scriptologist―constantly alters and expands their reality. But when her home is attacked and her mother kidnapped, Elsa is forced to cross into the real world and use her own scriptology gifts to find her. In an alternative Victorian Italy, Elsa finds a secret society of young scientists with a gift for mechanics, alchemy, or scriptology―and meets Leo, a gorgeous mechanist with a smart mouth and tragic past. She recruits the help of these fellow geniuses just as an assassin arrives on their doorstep.

Tyler Johnson Was Here by Jay Coles

When Marvin Johnson's twin, Tyler, goes to a party, Marvin decides to tag along to keep an eye on his brother. But what starts as harmless fun turns into a shooting, followed by a police raid. The next day, Tyler has gone missing, and it's up to Marvin to find him. But when Tyler is found dead, a video leaked online tells an even more chilling story: Tyler has been shot and killed by a police officer. Terrified as his mother unravels and mourning a brother who is now a hashtag, Marvin must learn what justice and freedom really mean.

The Game Can’t Love You Back by Karole Cozzo

Eve is used to being the odd woman out. As the only girl on her school's baseball team, she knows exactly how to put sweaty, macho baseball players in their place, and she's focused on one thing and one thing only—being the best pitcher she can be. But when a freak accident forces her high school to be absorbed by the neighboring town, Eve has to contend with a new group of guys who aren't used to having a woman on their team. And the new team's star pitcher, Jamie, has no interest in being ousted from his throne. He can't afford to give up his starting slot to a new pitcher—even worse, to a girl. As the competition between Jamie and Eve starts to heat up, so does their attraction to each other. Can they keep their heads in the game, or will they end up getting played?

Driving by Starlight by Anat Deracine

Sixteen-year-olds Leena and Mishie are best friends. They delight in small rebellions against the Saudi cultural police—secret Western clothing, forbidden music, flirtations. But Leena wants college, independence—she wants a different life. Though her story is specific to her world (a world where it's illegal for women to drive, where a ten-year-old boy is the natural choice as guardian of a fatherless woman), ultimately it's a story about friendship, family, and freedom that transcends cultural differences.

Fire and Heist by Sarah Beth Durst

In Sky Hawkins's family, leading your first heist is a major milestone--even more so than learning to talk, walk, or do long division. It's a chance to gain power and acceptance within your family, and within society. But stealing your first treasure can be complicated, especially when you're a wyvern--a human capable of turning into a dragon. Embarking on a life of crime is never easy, and Sky discovers secrets about her mother, who recently went missing, the real reason her boyfriend broke up with her, and a valuable jewel that could restore her family's wealth and rank in their community. With a handpicked crew by her side, Sky knows she has everything she needs to complete her first heist, and get her boyfriend and mother back in the process. But then she uncovers a dark truth about were-dragon society--a truth more valuable and dangerous than gold or jewels could ever be.

The Queen Underneath by Stacey Filak

The Above and the Under have a tenuous truce that is shattered after the death of both their respective rulers. Gemma, the new queen of Under, must throw history aside and team up with Tollan, the heir to the Above throne, in order to take down a power that seeks to rule them all. Their group of rebels is comprised of an assassin, a sex worker, and a palace servant from Above, and we follow their unique perspectives as they are forced to question previously held beliefs. But even with war looming, romance still grows. Challenging gender roles and the expectation that every prince must have a princess, Tollan discovers love with Elam—a young man, a sex worker, and one of Gemma’s closest friends.

Hole in the Middle by Kendra Fortmeyer

Morgan Stone was born with a hole in her middle: perfectly smooth patch of nothing where a something should be. After seventeen years of fear and shame, doctors and nurses, "peculiar" not "perfect," she has had enough of hiding. Feisty, feminist and downright different, Hole in the Middle is the story of what happens when a girl who is anything but normal confronts a world obsessed with body image and celebrity.

Game of Secrets by Kim Foster

Felicity Cole sells flowers in the streets of Victorian London to feed herself and her young brother. But she has a close-guarded secret--her brother is a Tainted, born with special abilities that society fears and a shadowy organization called the Hunstsman scours the country to eliminate. When Felicity becomes the target of one of these individuals, she discovers something horrible: she's Tainted, too. Rescued by a mysterious gentleman on the eve of execution, she's whisked away to a school funded by Queen Victoria, established to train selected Tainted into assassins in service of the crown. Struggling to harness her incredible strength, speed, and agility, and despised by her classmates, all she wants is to use her new position to find a cure so she can be normal and reunited with her brother. But with the Golden Jubilee fast approaching and the discovery that there's a traitor in their midst, she has no choice but to embrace the one thing she's been fighting all along.

Brave Enough by Kati Gardner

Teenager Cason Martin is the youngest ballerina in the Atlanta Ballet Conservatory. She never really had a choice of whether she learned to dance or not. Her mother, the conservatory's artistic director, has made all the decisions in Cason's life. But that's about to change. Cason has been hiding an injury, and it's much worse than anyone imagines. Davis Channing understands all too well what it's like to give up control of your life. He's survived cancer, but his drug addiction nearly killed him. Now he's been sober for seven months and enjoying his community service at the hospital. But just when he thinks he's got it together, Davis's ex-girlfriend, who is still battling her addiction, barrels back into his life. Cason and Davis are not friends. But, as their worlds collide, they will start to depend on one another. Can they both be brave enough to beat the odds?

Chaotic Good by Whitney Gardner

Cameron's cosplay--dressing like a fictional character--is finally starting to earn her attention--attention she hopes to use to get into the CalTech costume department for college. But when she wins a major competition, she inadvertently sets off a firestorm of angry comments from male fans. When Cameron's family moves the summer before her senior year, she hopes to complete her costume portfolio in peace and quiet away from the abuse. Unfortunately, the only comic shop in town--her main destination for character reference--is staffed by a dudebro owner who challenges every woman who comes into the shop. At her twin brother's suggestion, Cameron borrows a set of his clothes and uses her costuming expertise to waltz into the shop as Boy Cameron, where she's shocked at how easily she's accepted into the nerd inner sanctum. Soon, Cameron finds herself drafted into a D&D campaign alongside the jerky shop-owner Brody, friendly (almost flirtatiously so) clerk Wyatt, handsome Lincoln, and her bro Cooper, dragged along for good measure. But as her "secret identity" gets more and more entrenched, Cameron's portfolio falls by the wayside--and her feelings for Lincoln threaten to make a complicated situation even more precarious.

When We Caught Fire by Anna Godbersen

It’s 1871 and Emmeline Carter is poised to take Chicago’s high society by storm. Between her father’s sudden rise to wealth, and her recent engagement to Chicago’s most eligible bachelor, Emmeline has it all. But she can’t stop thinking about the life she left behind, including her childhood sweetheart, Anders Magnuson. Fiona Byrne, Emmeline’s childhood best friend, is delighted by her friend’s sudden rise to prominence, especially since it means Fiona is free to pursue Anders herself. But when Emmeline risks everything for one final fling with Anders, Fiona feels completely betrayed. As the summer turns to fall, the city is at a tipping point: friendships are tested, hearts are broken, and the tiniest spark might set everything ablaze. Sweeping, soapy, and romantic, this is a story about an epic love triangle—one that will literally set the city ablaze, and change the lives of three childhood friends forever.

Love and Other Carnivorous Plants by Florence Gonsalves

Freshman year at Harvard was the most anticlimactic year of Danny's life. She's failing pre-med and drifting apart from her best friend. One by one, Danny is losing all the underpinnings of her identity. When she finds herself attracted to an older, edgy girl who she met in rehab for an eating disorder, she finally feels like she might be finding a new sense of self. But when tragedy strikes, her self-destructive tendencies come back to haunt her as she struggles to discover who that self really is.

When the Beat Drops by Anna Hecker

Seventeen-year-old Mira has always danced to her own beat. A music prodigy in a family of athletes, she'd rather play trumpet than party -- and with her audition to a prestigious jazz conservatory just around the corner (and her two best friends at music camp without her), she plans to spend the summer focused on jazz and nothing else. She only goes to the warehouse party in a last-ditch effort to bond with her older sister. Instead, she falls in love with dance music, DJing... and Derek, a gorgeous promoter who thinks he can make her a star. Suddenly trumpet practice and old friendships are taking a backseat to the packed dance floors, sun-soaked music festivals, outsized personalities, and endless beats of the EDM scene. But when a devastating tragedy plunges her golden summer into darkness, Mira discovers just how little she knows about her new boyfriend, her old friends, and even her own sister. Music is what brought them together... but will it also tear them apart?

Lizzie by Dawn Ius

Seventeen-year-old Lizzie Borden has never been kissed. Polite but painfully shy, Lizzie prefers to stay in the kitchen, where she can dream of becoming a chef and escape her reality. With tyrannical parents who force her to work at the family’s B&B and her blackout episodes—a medical condition that has plagued her since her first menstrual cycle—Lizzie longs for a life of freedom, the time and space to just figure out who she is and what she wants. Enter the effervescent, unpredictable Bridget Sullivan. Bridget has joined the B&B’s staff as the new maid, and Lizzie is instantly drawn to her artistic style and free spirit—even her Star Wars obsession is kind of cute. The two of them forge bonds that quickly turn into something that’s maybe more than friendship. But when her parents try to restrain Lizzie from living the life she wants, it sparks something in her that she can’t quite figure out. Her blackout episodes start getting worse, her instincts less and less reliable. Lizzie is angry, certainly, but she also feels like she’s going mad…

Empress of All Seasons by Emiko Jean

Each generation, a competition is held to find the next empress of Honoku. The rules are simple. Survive the palace’s enchanted seasonal rooms. Conquer Winter, Spring, Summer, and Fall. Marry the prince. All are eligible to compete—all except yōkai, supernatural monsters and spirits whom the human emperor is determined to enslave and destroy. Mari has spent a lifetime training to become empress. Winning should be easy. And it would be, if she weren't hiding a dangerous secret. Mari is a yōkai with the ability to transform into a terrifying monster. If discovered, her life will be forfeit. As she struggles to keep her true identity hidden, Mari’s fate collides with that of Taro, the prince who has no desire to inherit the imperial throne, and Akira, a half-human, half-yōkai outcast.

Beyond a Darkened Shore by Jessica Leake

The ancient land of Éirinn is mired in war. Ciara, Princess of Mide, has never known a time when Éirinn’s kingdoms were not battling for power, or Northmen were not plundering their shores. The people of Mide have thankfully always been safe because of Ciara’s unearthly ability to control her enemies’ minds and actions. But lately, a mysterious crow has been appearing to Ciara, whispering warnings of an even darker threat. Although her clansmen dismiss her visions as pagan nonsense, Ciara fears this coming evil will destroy not just Éirinn, but the entire world. Then the crow leads Ciara to Leif, a young Northman leader. Leif should be Ciara’s enemy, but when Ciara discovers that he, too, shares her prophetic visions, she knows he’s something more. Leif is mounting an impressive army, and with Ciara’s strength in battle the two might have a chance to save their world. With evil rising around them, they’ll do what it takes to defend the land they love…even if it means making the greatest sacrifice of all.

Out of Left Field by Kris Hui Lee

Marnie has never had a hard time fitting in with the guys. It would take a lot more than their goofy antics to keep her from joining them at the neighborhood sandlot to do what she loves best: play ball. An added perk of hanging out at the sandlot? Spending time with Cody Kinski, their high school's star pitcher and Marnie's best friend. Sure, he can be stubborn and annoying. He also knows how to make her laugh and respects her skills on the field. And when he gets nailed in the arm by a bone-fracturing pitch, Marnie becomes the team's best chance at making it to the playoffs. Except no one told the guys they're supposed to be on her side. With her own team against her, Marnie begins questioning her abilities. And when fate throws her a curveball, can she play without losing the game, Cody, and her belief in herself?

Isle of Blood and Stone by Makiia Lucier

Nineteen-year-old Elias is a royal explorer, a skilled mapmaker, and the new king of del Mar's oldest friend. Soon he will embark on the adventure of a lifetime, an expedition past the Strait of Cain and into uncharted waters. Nothing stands in his way...until a long-ago tragedy creeps back into the light, threatening all he holds dear. The people of St. John del Mar have never recovered from the loss of their boy princes, kidnapped eighteen years ago, both presumed dead. But when two maps surface, each bearing the same hidden riddle, troubling questions arise. What really happened to the young heirs? And why do the maps appear to be drawn by Lord Antoni, Elias's father, who vanished on that same fateful day? With the king's beautiful cousin by his side—whether he wants her there or not—Elias will race to solve the riddle of the princes. He will have to use his wits and guard his back. Because some truths are better left buried...and an unknown enemy stalks his every turn.

A Spark of White Fire by Sangu Mandanna

In a universe of capricious gods, dark moons, and kingdoms built on the backs of spaceships, a cursed queen sends her infant daughter away, a jealous uncle steals the throne of Kali from his nephew, and an exiled prince vows to take his crown back. Raised alone and far away from her home on Kali, Esmae longs to return to her family. When the King of Wychstar offers to gift the unbeatable, sentient warship Titania to a warrior that can win his competition, she sees her way home: she’ll enter the competition, reveal her true identity to the world, and help her famous brother win back the crown of Kali. It’s a great plan. Until it falls apart.

Learning to Breathe by Janice Lynn Mather

Indira Ferguson has done her best to live by her Grammy’s rules—to study hard in school, be respectful, and to never let a boy take advantage of her. But it hasn’t always been easy, especially while living in her mother’s shadow. When Indy is sent to live with distant relatives in Nassau, trouble follows her. Now she must hide an unwanted pregnancy from her aunt, who would rather throw Indy out onto the street than see the truth. Completely broke with only a hand-me-down pregnancy book as a resource, Indy desperately looks for a safe space to call home. After stumbling upon a yoga retreat, she wonders if perhaps she’s found the place. But Indy is about to discover that home is much bigger than just four walls and a roof—it’s about the people she chooses to share it with.

Now a Major Motion Picture by Cori McCarthy

Unlike the rest of the world, Iris doesn't care about the famous high-fantasy Elementia books written by M. E. Thorne. So it's just a little annoying that M. E. Thorne is her grandmother—and that Iris has to deal with the trilogy's crazy fans. When Iris gets dropped in Ireland for the movie adaptation, she sees her opportunity: if she can shut down production, the Elementia craze won't grow any bigger, and she can finally have a normal life. Not even the rascally-cute actor Eamon O'Brien can get in her way. But the crew's passion is contagious, and as Iris begins to find herself in the very world she has avoided her whole life, she realizes that this movie might just be amazing…

Blanca & Roja by Anna-Marie McLemore

The del Cisne girls have never just been sisters; they’re also rivals, Blanca as obedient and graceful as Roja is vicious and manipulative. They know that, because of a generations-old spell, their family is bound to a bevy of swans deep in the woods. They know that, one day, the swans will pull them into a dangerous game that will leave one of them a girl, and trap the other in the body of a swan. But when two local boys become drawn into the game, the swans’ spell intertwines with the strange and unpredictable magic lacing the woods, and all four of their fates depend on facing truths that could either save or destroy them.

The Unbinding of Mary Reade by Miriam McNamara

There’s no place for a girl in Mary’s world. Not in the home of her mum, desperately drunk and poor. Not in the household of her wealthy granny, where no girl can be named an heir. And certainly not in the arms of Nat, her childhood love who never knew her for who she was. As a sailor aboard a Caribbean merchant ship, Mary’s livelihood—and her safety—depends on her ability to disguise her gender. At least, that’s what she thinks is true. But then pirates attack the ship, and in the midst of the gang of cutthroats, Mary spots something she never could have imagined: a girl pirate. The sight of a girl standing unafraid upon the deck, gun and sword in hand, changes everything. In a split-second decision, Mary turns her gun on her own captain, earning herself the chance to join the account and become a pirate alongside Calico Jack and Anne Bonny. For the first time, Mary has a shot at freedom. But imagining living as her true self is easier, it seems, than actually doing it. And when Mary finds herself falling for the captain’s mistress, she risks everything—her childhood love, her place among the crew, and even her life.

Beneath the Haunting Sea by Joanna Ruth Meyer

Sixteen-year-old Talia was born to a life of certainty and luxury, destined to become Empress of half the world. But when an ambitious rival seizes power, she and her mother are banished to a nowhere province on the far edge of the Northern Sea. It is here, in the drafty halls of the Ruen-Dahr, that Talia discovers family secrets, a melancholy boy with a troubling vision of her future, and a relic that holds the power of an ancient Star. On these shores, the eerie melody of the sea is stronger than ever, revealing long-forgotten tales of the Goddess Rahn. The more dark truths that Talia unravels about the gods' history--and her own--the more the waves call to her, and it may be her destiny to answer.

A Thousand Beginnings and Endings edited by Ellen Oh and Elsie Chapman

Star-crossed lovers, meddling immortals, feigned identities, battles of wits, and dire warnings. These are the stuff of fairy tale, myth, and folklore that have drawn us in for centuries. Fifteen bestselling and acclaimed authors reimagine the folklore and mythology of East and South Asia in short stories that are by turns enchanting, heartbreaking, romantic, and passionate. Compiled by We Need Diverse Books’s Ellen Oh and Elsie Chapman, the authors included in this exquisite collection are: Renee Ahdieh, Sona Charaipotra, Preeti Chhibber, Roshani Chokshi, Aliette de Bodard, Melissa de la Cruz, Julie Kagawa, Rahul Kanakia, Lori M. Lee, E. C. Myers, Cindy Pon, Aisha Saeed, Shveta Thakrar, and Alyssa Wong.

Sweet Black Waves by Kristina Perez

Two proud kingdoms stand on opposite shores, with only a bloody history between them. As best friend and lady-in-waiting to the princess, Branwen is guided by two principles: devotion to her homeland and hatred for the raiders who killed her parents. When she unknowingly saves the life of her enemy, he awakens her ancient healing magic and opens her heart. Branwen begins to dream of peace, but the princess she serves is not so easily convinced. Fighting for what's right, even as her powers grow beyond her control, will set Branwen against both her best friend and the only man she's ever loved. 

Sometime After Midnight by L. Philips

In a dingy Los Angeles club late one night, Cameron and Nate meet and find they have much more in common than their love of an obscure indie band. But when Nate learns that Cameron is the heir to a record label, the very one that destroyed his father's life, he runs away as fast as he can. The only evidence of their brief but intense connection is a blurry photo Cameron snaps of Nate's Sharpie-decorated Chuck Taylors as he flees. Considering that Cameron is a real life Prince Charming--he's handsome, famous, and rich--it's only fitting that he sets out to find the owner of the Sharpied shoes. Cameron's twin sister, a model and socialite, posts the picture of Nate's shoes on Instagram to her legions of fans with the caption, "Anyone know the gorgeous owner of these shoes? My hottie brother is looking for him." The internet just about breaks with the news of a modern fairy tale and the two become entwined in each other's lives in this sparkling story about the power of music, the demons that haunt us, and the flutterings of first real love.

Give the Dark My Love by Beth Revis

When seventeen-year-old Nedra Brysstain leaves her home in the rural, northern territories of Lunar Island to attend the prestigious Yugen Academy, she has only one goal in mind: learn the trade of medicinal alchemy. A scholarship student matriculating with the children of Lunar Island's wealthiest and most powerful families, Nedra doesn't quite fit in with the other kids at Yugen, who all look down on her. All, except for Greggori "Grey" Astor. Grey is immediately taken by the brilliant and stubborn Nedra, who he notices is especially invested in her studies. And that's for a good reason: a deadly plague has been sweeping through the North, and it's making its way toward the cities. With her family's life--and the lives of all of Lunar Island's citizens--on the line, Nedra is determined to find a cure for the plague. Grey and Nedra continue to grow closer, but as the sickness spreads and the body count rises, Nedra becomes desperate to find a cure. Soon, she finds herself diving into alchemy's most dangerous corners--and when she turns to the most forbidden practice of all, necromancy, even Grey might not be able to pull her from the darkness.

Always Forever Maybe by Anica Mrose Rissi

When Betts meets Aiden at the candy store where she works, their connection is like a sugar rush to the heart. Betts already knows the two of them are infinite. Inevitable. Destined to become an us. Betts has only ever kept one secret from her best friend, Jo, but suddenly there’s a long list of things she won’t tell her, things Jo wouldn’t understand. Because Jo doesn’t see how good Aiden is for Betts. She finds him needy. Possessive. Controlling. She’s wrong. With a love like this, nothing else matters.

Jack of Hearts (And Other Parts) by Lev A.C. Rosen

Meet Jack Rothman. He's seventeen and loves partying, makeup and boys - sometimes all at the same time. His sex life makes him the hot topic for the high school gossip machine. But who cares? Like Jack always says, 'it could be worse'. He doesn't actually expect that to come true. But after Jack starts writing an online sex advice column, the mysterious love letters he's been getting take a turn for the creepy. Jack's secret admirer knows everything: where he's hanging out, who he's sleeping with, who his mum is dating. They claim they love Jack, but not his unashamedly queer lifestyle. They need him to curb his sexuality, or they'll force him. As the pressure mounts, Jack must unmask his stalker before their obsession becomes genuinely dangerous...

Where I Live by Brenda Rufener

LINDEN ROSE HAS RULES FOR SURVIVAL. 1. Prevent the in-class nap. 2. Never carry too many belongings. 3. Avoid looking the part. Her rules guarantee no one discovers her secret–that she’s homeless and living in the halls of her small-town high school. Her best friends, Ham and Seung, have formed a makeshift family, and writing for her school’s blog prevents downtime. When you’re homeless, free time sucks. Despite everything Linden’s burdened with, she holds on to hope for a future and a maybe romance with Seung. But when cool-girl Bea comes to school with a bloody lip, the damage hits too close to home. Linden begins looking at Bea’s life, and soon her investigation prompts people to pay attention. And attention is the last thing Linden needs. To put a stop to the violence, Linden must tell the story. Even if it breaks her rules for survival and jeopardizes the secrets she’s worked so hard to keep.

Not the Girls You’re Looking For by Aminah Mae Safi

Lulu Saad doesn't need your advice, thank you very much. She's got her three best friends and nothing can stop her from conquering the known world. Sure, for half a minute she thought she’d nearly drowned a cute guy at a party, but he was totally faking it. And fine, yes, she caused a scene during Ramadan. It's all under control. Ish. Except maybe this time she’s done a little more damage than she realizes. And if Lulu can't find her way out of this mess soon, she'll have to do more than repair friendships, family alliances, and wet clothing. She'll have to go looking for herself.

Amber and Dusk by Lyra Selene

Sylvie has always known she deserves more. Out in the permanent twilight of the Dusklands, her guardians called her power to create illusions a curse. But Sylvie knows it gives her a place in Coeur d'Or, the palais of the Amber Empress and her highborn legacies. So Sylvie sets off toward the Amber City, a glittering jewel under a sun that never sets, to take what is hers. But her hope for a better life is quickly dimmed. The empress invites her in only as part of a wicked wager among her powerful courtiers. Sylvie must assume a new name, Mirage, and begin to navigate secretive social circles and deadly games of intrigue in order to claim her spot. Soon it becomes apparent that nothing is as it appears and no one, including her cruel yet captivating sponsor, Sunder, will answer her questions. As Mirage strives to assume what should be her rightful place, she'll have to consider whether it is worth the price she must pay.

My So-Called Bollywood Life by Nisha Sharma

Winnie Mehta was never really convinced that Raj was her soulmate, but their love was written in the stars. Literally, a pandit predicted Winnie would find the love of her life before her 18th birthday, and Raj meets all of the qualifications. Which is why Winnie is shocked to return from her summer at film camp to find her boyfriend of three years hooking up with Jenny Dickens. Worse, Raj is crowned chair of the student film festival, a spot Winnie was counting on for her film school applications. As a self-proclaimed Bollywood expert, Winnie knows this is not how her perfect ending is scripted. Then there’s Dev, a fellow film geek, and one of the few people Winnie can count on to help her reclaim control of her story. Dev is smart charming, and challenges Winnie to look beyond her horoscope to find someone she’d pick for herself. But does falling for Dev mean giving up on her prophecy, and her chance to live happily ever after? To get her Bollywood-like life on track, Winnie will need a little bit of help from fate, family, and of course, a Bollywood movie star.

Grim Lovelies by Megan Shepherd

Seventeen-year-old Anouk envies the human world, where people known as Pretties lavish themselves in fast cars, high fashion, and have the freedom to fall in love. But Anouk can never have those things, because she is not really human. Enchanted from animal to human girl and forbidden to venture beyond her familiar Parisian prison, Anouk is a Beastie: destined for a life surrounded by dust bunnies and cinders serving Mada Vittora, the evil witch who spelled her into existence. That is, until one day she finds her mistress murdered in a pool of blood—and Anouk is accused of the crime. Now, the world she always dreamed of is rife with danger. Pursued through Paris by the underground magical society known as the Haute, Anouk and her fellow Beasties only have three days to find the real killer before the spell keeping them human fades away. If they fail, they will lose the only lives they’ve ever known…but if they succeed, they could be more powerful than anyone ever bargained for.

The Art of French Kissing by Brianna Shrum

Seventeen-year-old Carter Lane has wanted to be a chef since she was old enough to ignore her mom's warnings to stay away from the hot stove. And now she has the chance of a lifetime: a prestigious scholarship competition in Savannah, where students compete all summer in Chopped style challenges for a full-ride to one of the best culinary schools in the country. The only impossible challenge ingredient in her basket: Reid Yamada. After Reid, her cute but unbearably cocky opponent, goes out of his way to screw her over on day one, Carter vows revenge, and soon they're involved in a full-fledged culinary war. Just as the tension between them reaches its boiling point, Carter and Reid are forced to work together if they want to win, and Carter begins to wonder if Reid's constant presence in her brain is about more than rivalry. And if maybe her desire to smack his mouth doesn't necessarily cancel out her desire to kiss it.

Hullmetal Girls by Emily Skrutskie

Aisha Un-Haad would do anything for her family. When her brother contracts a plague, she knows her janitor's salary isn't enough to fund his treatment. So she volunteers to become a Scela, a mechanically enhanced soldier sworn to protect and serve the governing body of the Fleet, the collective of starships they call home. If Aisha can survive the harrowing modifications and earn an elite place in the Scela ranks, she may be able to save her brother. Key Tanaka awakens in a Scela body with only hazy memories of her life before. She knows she's from the privileged end of the Fleet, but she has no recollection of why she chose to give up a life of luxury to become a hulking cyborg soldier. If she can make it through the training, she might have a shot at recovering her missing past. In a unit of new recruits vying for top placement, Aisha's and Key's paths collide, and the two must learn to work together--a tall order for girls from opposite ends of the Fleet. But a rebellion is stirring, pitting those who yearn for independence from the Fleet against a government struggling to maintain unity. With violence brewing and dark secrets surfacing, Aisha and Key find themselves questioning their loyalties. They will have to put aside their differences, though, if they want to keep humanity from tearing itself apart.

Hearts Unbroken by Cynthia Leitch Smith

When Louise Wolfe’s first real boyfriend mocks and disrespects Native people in front of her, she breaks things off and dumps him over e-mail. It’s her senior year, anyway, and she’d rather spend her time with her family and friends and working on the school newspaper. The editors pair her up with Joey Kairouz, the ambitious new photojournalist, and in no time the paper’s staff find themselves with a major story to cover: the school musical director’s inclusive approach to casting The Wizard of Oz has been provoking backlash in their mostly white, middle-class Kansas town. From the newly formed Parents Against Revisionist Theater to anonymous threats, long-held prejudices are being laid bare and hostilities are spreading against teachers, parents, and students — especially the cast members at the center of the controversy, including Lou’s little brother, who’s playing the Tin Man. As tensions mount at school, so does a romance between Lou and Joey — but as she’s learned, “dating while Native” can be difficult. In trying to protect her own heart, will Lou break Joey’s?

Unstoppable Moses by Tyler James Smith

After accidentally burning down a bowling alley with his cousin and best friend, Charlie, Moses has one week as a camp counselor to prove to the authorities—and to himself—that he isn't a worthless jerk who belongs in jail, when Charlie doesn't get that chance.

What the Night Sings by Vesper Stamper

After losing her family and everything she knew in the Nazi concentration camps, Gerta is finally liberated, only to find herself completely alone. Without her Papa, her music, or even her true identity, she must move past the task of surviving and onto living her life. In the displaced persons camp where she is staying, Gerta meets Lev, a fellow teen survivor who she just might be falling for, despite her feelings for someone else. With a newfound Jewish identity she never knew she had, and a return to the life of music she thought she lost forever, Gerta must choose how to build a new future.

Odd One Out by Nic Stone

Courtney "Coop" Cooper Dumped. Again. And normally I wouldn't mind. But right now, my best friend and source of solace, Jupiter Sanchez, is ignoring me to text some girl. Rae Evelyn Chin I assumed "new girl" would be synonymous with "pariah," but Jupiter and Courtney make me feel like I'm right where I belong. I also want to kiss him. And her. Which is . . . perplexing. Jupiter Charity-Sanchez The only thing worse than losing the girl you love to a boy is losing her to your boy. That means losing him, too. I have to make a move. . . . One story. Three sides. No easy answers.

Love a la Mode by Stephanie Kate Strohm

Rosie Radeke firmly believes that happiness can be found at the bottom of a mixing bowl. But she never expected that she, a random nobody from East Liberty, Ohio, would be accepted to celebrity chef Denis Laurent's school in Paris, the most prestigious cooking program for teens in the entire world. Life in Paris, however, isn't all cream puffs and crepes. Faced with a challenging curriculum and a nightmare professor, Rosie begins to doubt her dishes. Henry Yi grew up in his dad's restaurant in Chicago, and his lifelong love affair with food landed him a coveted spot in Chef Laurent's school. He quickly connects with Rosie, but academic pressure from home and his jealousy over Rosie's growing friendship with gorgeous bad-boy baker Bodie Tal makes Henry lash out and push his dream girl away. Desperate to prove themselves, Rosie and Henry cook like never before while sparks fly between them. But as they reach their breaking points, they wonder whether they have what it takes to become real chefs.

A Touch of Gold by Annie Sullivan

King Midas once had the ability to turn all he touched into gold. But after his gift—or curse—almost killed his daughter, Midas relinquished The Touch forever. Ten years later, Princess Kora still bears the consequences of her father’s wish: her skin shines golden, rumors follow her everywhere she goes, and she harbors secret powers that are getting harder to hide. Kora spends her days locked in the palace, concealed behind gloves and veils, trying to ignore the stares and gossip of courtiers. It isn’t until a charming young duke arrives that Kora realizes there may be someone out there who doesn’t fear her or her curse. But their courtship is disrupted when a thief steals precious items from the kingdom, leaving the treasury depleted and King Midas vulnerable. Thanks to her unique ability to sense gold, Kora is the only one who can track the thief down. As she sails off on her quest, Kora learns that not everything is what it seems—not thieves, not pirates, and not even curses. She quickly discovers that gold—and the power it brings—is more dangerous than she’d ever believed. Midas learned his lesson at a price. What will Kora’s journey cost?

Nothing But Sky by Amy Trueblood

Grace Lafferty only feels alive when she's dangling 500 feet above ground. As a post-World War I wing walker, Grace is determined to get to the World Aviation Expo, proving her team’s worth against flashier competitors and earning a coveted Hollywood contract. No one’s ever questioned Grace’s ambition until Henry Patton, a mechanic with plenty of scars from the battlefield, joins her barnstorming team. With each new death-defying trick, Henry pushes Grace to consider her reasons for being a daredevil. Annoyed with Henry’s constant interference, and her growing attraction to him, Grace continues to test the powers of the sky. After one of her risky maneuvers saves a pilot’s life, a Hollywood studio offers Grace a chance to perform at the Expo. She jumps at the opportunity to secure her future. But when a stunt goes wrong, Grace must decide whether Henry, and her life, are worth risking for one final trick.

The Boneless Mercies by April Genevieve Tucholke

Frey, Ovie, Juniper, and Runa are the Boneless Mercies—girls hired to kill quickly, quietly, and mercifully. But Frey is weary of the death trade and, having been raised on the heroic sagas of her people, dreams of a bigger life. When she hears of an unstoppable monster ravaging a nearby town, Frey decides this is the Mercies' one chance out. The fame and fortune of bringing down such a beast would ensure a new future for all the Mercies. In fact, her actions may change the story arc of women everywhere.

The Brightsiders by Jen Wilde

As a rock star drummer in the hit band The Brightsiders, Emmy King’s life should be perfect. But there’s nothing the paparazzi love more than watching a celebrity crash and burn. When a night of partying lands Emmy in hospital and her girlfriend in jail, she’s branded the latest tabloid train wreck. Luckily, Emmy has her friends and bandmates, including the super-swoonworthy Alfie, to help her pick up the pieces of her life. She knows hooking up with a band member is exactly the kind of trouble she should be avoiding, and yet Emmy and Alfie Just. Keep. Kissing. Will the inevitable fallout turn her into a clickbait scandal (again)? Or will she find the strength to stand on her own?

[girlwithglasses1245]

Um so yeah.

I got a new chromebook which is legit one of the best investments I’ve made in quite a while. One problem, I don’t remember my newer tumblr password and email I had set up for my happy new account. So I am stuck here with an older tumblr I made years upon years ago. I was browsing through some of the archive posts and ugh was I whiny little pain in the butt complaining about such stupid things. Anyways! I thought it might be kinda fun perhaps to do a survey that I did in 2013, yes 2013 oh my that seems ages ago. My plan is to have my original answer on top followed by the 2019 answer below it. Because why not? Here we go!

1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? The closet must be closed! Still closed please.

2: Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? Sometimes. Not as often as I used, because I honestly don’t ever use it. lol

3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? Out? In because that’s how Dan likes it. 

4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before? No. Nope. 

5: Do you like to use post-it notes? Sometimes. Sure, I leave Dan random notes in the morning if I wake up first. 

6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? I get coupons but sometimes I don't use them. Haha my above answer tells me two things I wasn’t worried about money in 2013 and I didn’t probably understand the question. So yeah, sometimes that will happen when they expire before I get the chance to use them.

7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? Neither sound great so I guess a big bear sounds more interesting. I’ll agree with my 2013 answer. 

8: Do you have freckles? I have some. Last I checked I am the same girl, so I have some. 

9: Do you always smile for pictures? Usually. Sure, unless I am being told otherwise. 

10: What is your biggest pet peeve? I have two major ones, people snapping gum and not messaging someone back. Snapping gum is still up there and people slurping soup obnoxiously. 

11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk? Not really. Um not physically, but my phone does. Thanks Google Fit!

12: Have you ever peed in the woods? Nope. Still no.

13: What about pooped in the woods? Again nope. Still no lol.

14: Do you ever dance even if there’s no music playing? Yeah. Of course!

15: Do you chew your pens and pencils? Not usually, but sometimes I'll chew on a pen. Still sometimes I will chew a pen. 

16: How many people have you slept with this week? Zero. One.

17: What size is your bed? Queen. Queen, but now I share it with Dan. 

18: What is your Song of the week? Runaway- iio. Goodness I have no idea. 

19: Is it okay for guys to wear pink? Yeah.  Since when are certain colors unacceptable for certain people? I like that answer. Good job 2013 Christina. :)

20: Do you still watch cartoons? I don’t really watch a lot of TV. Nope. 

21: Whats your least favorite movie? I am not really big on the Hunger Games. Still accurate or scary movies would be an accurate answer. 

22: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? Wait…why would I want to bury hidden treasure. Dan’s safe?

23: If you’re a girl, bra size? If you’re a guy, pants size? 34 B 32-34 B depends on the bra. lol

24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in? Plain or honey mustard. I like those previous answers, but I do sometimes like BBQ. 

25: What is your favorite food? Some type of chicken with a bread coating. Chicken and dumplings from Cracker Barrel with carrots and green beans! 

26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love? Love and Other Drugs, Crazy Stupid Love, Easy A, Something Borrowed. So chick flicks I guess. Crazy Stupid Love is still in my top favorite movies ever. 

27: Last person you kissed/kissed you? Jeffrey. Eww I am sorry 2013 Christina that sucks. Anyways, Dan!

28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout? I was girl scout back in the day. Still a true statement. 

29: Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? Eh I don't know. I am no model, so no.  30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? On paper?  A while ago. I write Dan little notes in the mornings sometimes. Does that count? 31: Can you change the oil on a car? Nope. Still nope.  32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket? Surprisingly no. Warning, yes. lol 33: Ever ran out of gas? Close, but no. Nope!

34: Favorite kind of sandwich? Turkey and swiss with spinach toasted.  Grilled cheese!

35: Best thing to eat for breakfast? French Toast or Waffles. French Toast sounds lovely. 

36: What is your usual bedtime? Unpredictable. Still accurate, but now it depends on if Dan is around or not.  37: Are you lazy? More than some would think. I can be.  38: When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? I don’t even know. Probably a princess.  39: What is your Chinese astrological sign? I believe I am a sheep. Correct.  40: Are you horny? No. Not really.  41: Do you have any magazine subscriptions? No. Yep, Cosmo. And it’s annoying they send out the following month way too early all the time.  42: Which are better legos or lincoln logs? I could care less. Still true. 

43: Are you stubborn? I some ways. Kinda.  44: Who is better…Leno or Letterman? Letterman. Still true hence why Letterman is still on the air? 45: Ever watch soap operas? Sometimes Spanish ones with Rach and her roommates. Nope. 46: Are you afraid of heights? Not as much. What kinda of answer was that back then? lol. Anyways, no height fear really.    47: Do you sing in the car? All the time. Duh, gotta keep it fun.  48: Do you sing in the shower? Not really. I hum though. Still true.  49: Do you dance in the car? Yeah. That’s probably not safe… Hahaha still guilty of that.  50: Ever used a gun? Nope, I want to do it sometime though just to say I shot a gun. Hahaha 2013 would never have thought I’d say I am pretty fucking accurate with an AR-15.  51: Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? Does summer count? Jen took my picture. Christmas of 2015 lol. 52: Do you think musicals are cheesy? Some can be. Usually.  53: Is Christmas stressful? Not really, but this year I’ll be working the holiday season so we shall reassess. Nope. I love Christmas.  54: Ever eat a pierogi? Had to look that up.  Yes, I have I think my friend Elly introduced me to them. Yeah, not my type of thing.  55: Favorite type of fruit pie? Cherry or Dutch Apple.  56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Teacher. I don’t know anymore and I am 27. Oops.  57: Do you believe in ghosts? Eh debatable. Sure. 58: Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Many times. I had one just the other day. Yeah I had one the other day. Wait that’s funny that was my reply before.  59: Take a vitamin daily? I take multivitamins. I still do, but currently out. lol 60: Wear slippers? Nah. Barefoot is preferred.  61: Wear a bath robe? Rarely. Unless I am super cold. Nah. 62: What do you wear to bed? Yoga pants and a t-shirt. T-shirt and panties. lol 63: First concert? Paramore. Still true. 

64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Target, but Wal-Mart is closer. Target.  65: Nike or Adidas? I don’t care. Under Amour? 66: Cheetos Or Fritos? Eh…neither. Haha still good answer.  67: Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Sunflower seeds since I can’t do peanuts. Neither. 

68: Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? No? What? 69: Ever take dance lessons? I did a few times. Did I? Hmm sure okay. I did in the past.  70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? Lawyer. Business owner.

71: Can you curl your tongue? Yes. Yep! 72: Ever won a spelling bee? Never participated. Nope I am not very good at spelling complicated stuff.  73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy? It has happened on occasion. Sure. 74: Own any record albums? No. Nope. 75: Own a record player? No. Nope. 76: Regularly burn incense? No. Nope. 77: Ever been in love? Yes. Yes.  78: Who would you like to see in concert? Matchbox Twenty, Google Dolls, Drake, Justin Timberlake, The Weekend, Linkin Park, The XX, and many more. I know weird mix there. Drake? 79: What was the last concert you saw? Grad night, Paramore. Same.  80: Hot tea or cold tea? I prefer cold tea. Ice tea!  81: Tea or coffee? Coffee, but I do like tea on occasion. Coffee 99% of the time.  82: Sugar or snickerdoodles? Yummy both please. Don’t make chose.  83: Can you swim well? Eh debatable. I’ve gotten better. lol 84: Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yes. Yes.  85: Are you patient? Most of the time. 50-50 depends on what.  86: DJ or band, at a wedding? Either would be fine, but a live band would be awesome. DJ, Cheaper, duh lol. 87: Ever won a contest? A few times. Yep! 88: Ever have plastic surgery? I am 22 so no. Nah, I am good.  89: Which are better black or green olives? Eww no thanks. *pukes* No no no. 90: Can you knit or crochet? My mom tried teaching me how to crochet. Still wanting to learn one day either one.  91: Best room for a fireplace? A living room? Still going to go with living room.  92: Do you want to get married? I don’t know anymore, I hope so. I do, lol. 93: If married, how long have you been married? (Not applicable) Same lol 94: Who was your HS crush? Mark fucking Andrew. Ugh that’s still true. But here’s a plot twist though he married someone I know and I see his picture on FB all the time because she posts pictures of them. I am not phased anymore. So victory? For me at least. 95: Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? No. But I have though before though. Haha apparently.  96: Do you have kids? No. Nope.  97: Do you want kids? I would be ok not having kids for a while. No thanks. 98: Whats your favorite color? Purple! Purple!!! 99: Do you miss anyone right now? Yeah extremely. Yes. 

100. What do you hear right now? My Drake station on Pandora playing a Lil Wayne song. No Limit- G Easy ft Cardi B and A$AP Rocky

[553butterfly553]

The Adventures of Arcadia and Hendrickson - 6

Fight to the Death

With a massive collision, the remaining members of the Ten Commandments appeared on the battlefield. “Meliodas?! Sir Meliodas?!” Elizabeth yelled out as she began to panic. “What happened?! Something just came out of the sky from every direction...” Arthur mumbled as he too watched horrified. “Su-Such magic power...” “It's like a tidal wave of killing intent just hit the battlefield...” Gowther muttered as he watched what was unfolding. “Th...This is the worst possible scenario!” Hendrickson gasped out as he realized what was happening. As the dust cleared, everyone was then able to see the situation Meliodas was now in. Every member of the Ten Commandments was there now, minus Galand. So, Derieri, Drole, Estarossa, Fraudrin, Gloxinia, Grayroad, Melascula, Monspeet and Zeldris all stood there around Meliodas. With Zeldris right in front of his older brother. “He's surrounded... by the Ten Commandments...” “He...hey Gil! That's...!” Howzer tried to say as he looked into the crystal ball. “Great Holy Knight Dreyfus?!” “Father...” Griamore mumbled as he held onto Hendrickson's arm. “That's the man with whom you plotted the downfall of our country, Maraiga. What are you planning this time with all of those monsters?! Answer me, Hendrickson!” One of the assassins yelled out. “Back off!” Arcadia growled at the shorter man with her power flaring up to ward off the man. He took a step back from them and went back to being silent. “It's alright, Arcadia.” “No, it isn't.” The girl argued back. However, she then turned her attention back to the fight between Meliodas and the Ten Commandments. Meliodas now had one arm and kicked at his brother. He tried to get his arm back, but Zeldris stopped it from returning to him. “Get him,” Zeldris ordered instantly. Grayroad then wrapped chains around the blond man that quickly faded into his body. Meliodas continued to fight, and when he saw a chance he tried to escape, only to magically appear back where he'd started. “These are the 'Chains of the Accursed Resentment'. Once you have been cursed, you become unable to leave this place. Death is inescapable.” Grayroad explains in her creepy voice. The next Ten Commandment to fight Meliodas was Derieri. Her attacks were relentlessly one after another. “S-Something's going on!” Hendrickson noted in shock as he watched. “The course of her blows is steadily rising...” Howzer finished for the older man. Sure enough, her attacks were getting stronger with every blow. After she attacked him, Monspeet did his part with Meliodas cutting his throat in the end. Next up was Fraudrin's turn. “It seems that your fight with Gloxinia and Drole took more out of you than I expected...” Fraudrin spoke with a smile on Dreyfus's face. “I have not forgotten the shame of losing to you at Danafor... However, not finishing me off was also the end of your luck.” “You need to send me there.” Arcadia finally spoke up. “What? You'd only die.” Gilfrost snapped back instantly. “Dreyfus or Hendrickson would not have had to ruin their lives so...” Fraudrin continued to speak as the girl argued with Gilfrost. “I'm a half-demon and half-goddess. I can handle myself!” “Arcadia, you can't!” Hendrickson commented, afraid for his friend. “Send me there. Now.” She ignored Hendrickson's words and approached Gilfrost. “Please.” “Fine. You'll probably die, so say your last words.” Arcadia nodded her head and turned to Hendrickson and Griamore. “I might not return. So, I'm sorry.” Arcadia patted the crying boy on his head and then stepped closer to Hendrickson. “Make sure you come back. I don't...” “I'll try my best to return... to you.” With that, Arcadia disappeared. She appeared right in between Meliodas and Fraudrin. “Stay back!” Arcadia threatened as she pointed her sword at the demon. “Arcadia?” Meliodas had his sword in his mouth so her name was hard to understand. “Arc?” Fraudrin questioned a bit startled that she appeared there. He took a step forward only to have her swing her sword at him. “I said, stay back!” “Fraudrin, deal with your woman. She's in the way.” Derieri grumbled from the sidelines. “Shut up!” Arcadia snapped angrily at the woman. “Why are you here? Are you stupid, woman?” Fraudrin snapped showing his true colors. “I'm stopping you!” “You're shaking.” Arcadia was indeed shaking. She said nothing and didn't get the chance to say anything as the demon just shoved her out of the way and continued to talk. “You know Meliodas, trying to talk to him won't work. No matter how many times you plead to his heart. It will not reach...” However, the mark on his face disappeared and it seemed like Dreyfus came through. “Lord Meliodas...” A tear came from his eye as he raised his sword and attacked Meliodas, sending him flying backward. “Fraudrin, stop!” Arcadia yelled as she stood back up. The demon then grabbed the girl and pulled her close to him as Gloxinia began his attack. “You betrayed me.” “You betrayed me first! You killed my mother!” “She was just a reincarnation of your mother, that's all. Don't tell me, you don't love me anymore?” Fraudrin grabbed her chin and pressed his lips to hers. She instantly shoved him away and turned to see Meliodas powering up. Arcadia got the point and quickly flew out of the way. “Well, this isn't good,” Monspeet spoke as he wrapped his arms around Derieri. “Damn you... are you saying I will lose to you again?!” Fraudrin growled angrily. Meliodas then swung his sword, only to be stopped by Estarossa. Instantly the power the blond had built up was gone. With that, Meliodas fell backward and landed on his back. “Hey, Meliodas. To be honest, I don't want to do this at all. I'd rather die.” Estarossa then stepped strongly down on Meliodas. “You understand what I'm saying, right? It's because I love you.” “Stop it!” Arcadia cried out and flew back over to shove the tall demon away. “Uncle, please, I'm begging you, stop this now!” “Back off, Arcadia. Don't make me tell you again.” “Please...” “Then I'll just kill you first.” Estarossa reached out to grab the girl but was stopped by a voice. “Don't touch her!” Fraudrin snapped instantly as he stepped closer. “You are not permitted to lay a hand on her.” “If I want to kill my niece, I will.” “Arcadia... Don't...” Meliodas choked out painfully. “Get... away...” “I can't just leave you!” “Hey, Estarossa. I've got something to say, right from the ass...” Derieri suddenly spoke up, ignoring Arcadia now. “Alright?” “I take it this 'something' pertains to how you've been feeling a strange gaze upon us for quite some time now... and it's most likely Meliodas's friends and you're wondering if it's really okay to just leave them be?” Monspeet spoke next for the girl. “Yeah.” “The Seven Deadly Sins... Meliodas's new comrades...” “His new comrades, you say...” Estarossa began as he lifted up his hand shoved Arcadia away before leaning down to grab Meliodas. “So... when were you planning on betraying these comrades? You know, kind of like how you stabbed us in the back and abandoned the Ten Commandments back when you were our leader... During your reign... your strength, your ruthlessness, your callous disregard for life... it was terrifying and majestic sight to behold. In the face of that back then, even the goddesses could do nothing but cower, crippled by your presence. Everyone accepted and acknowledges you as the most worthy successor to the demon king. Even I yearned to be like you.” Estarossa was now holding Meliodas up by his neck. “Stop it, let him go!” Arcadia yelled as she stood up and moved to stop the demon. “Then, out of the blue, you blindsided all of us... leading to the evisceration the demon world... leaving it in ruins before you so deftly disappeared. To add insult to injury, you slaughtered two of the Ten Commandments in your wake...And until Drole and Gloxinia recently joined, those two slots for the Ten Commandments had remained empty. Your actions tipped the scales on the balance of power that we'd maintained between the demons and goddesses. Seeing an opening to crush the demon tribe once and for all, the goddesses leaped at the opportunity and incited the rest of the races against us. You lit the fuse that started that war 3,000 years ago. So tell me... how was it you thought up something so incredibly fun?” “Dammit, Uncle, let him go!” Arcadia was stopped by Fraudrin before she could fly any closer. He grabbed a hold of her and pulled her down. “So in the Ten Commandments stead, you've got the Seven Deadly Sins this time? You're probably so excited you can hardly bear it... trying to decide how, where, and when your net betrayal will unfold... You really are a twisted fuck.” He then dropped Meliodas onto the ground once again. “Let me go!” “I cannot.” Fraudrin sounded almost sad to have to say that to the girl. “I know you cannot stop me either, so just watch.” Melascula was yapping as she was about to eat Meliodas's soul when suddenly her neck snapped. It was Ban, thankfully, who'd appeared only moments ago. “You mind repeating that? I didn't hear you the first time!” Ban practically sung as he ripped out all her hearts next. “You goddamned idiot... why the hell... did you come here? Take Arcadia... and go...” Meliodas choked out yet again. “Idiot? That's rich coming from you... quit tryin' to act all cool.” “You truly are... the biggest fool I've ever known...” “Ah, well. You know what they say... birds of a feather... flock together” “That's the Seven Deadly Sins, Ban!” Fraudrin gasped out, loosening his hold on Arcadia for a second. She was able to break free and run to Ban and Meliodas, which was not standing together. Before she could even reach them, Estarossa already passed Ban and stabbed Meliodas. “No!” Arcadia quickly put herself in between Estarossa and Meliodas. “Stop it, now!” “After I kill you, Meliodas. Your daughter will be next, but first...” Estarossa stated as he stabbed Arcadia, right into a heart, then shoved her away to fall to the ground. She coughed up blood and got back up, putting her hand over her wound. She couldn't heal herself though, she didn't know how to yet.

“Arcadia!” Fraudrin yelled out, horrified at what had just happened to his former lover.

“Allow me to fill you in on something. We superior demons all possess seven hearts.” Estarossa then stabbed Meliodas again. “That makes two. And one for your child. No matter how powerful the demon, once all their hearts are destroyed their death is imminent.” By now, Ban was trying to choke out Estarossa, and Arcadia stood in front of him again. “Not if I break your neck first!” Ban tried hard, he really did, and so did Arcadia. However, the girl was stabbed yet again and tossed to the side. Her powers were nothing compared to Estarossa. She never even got the chance to fight. This time, however, Fraudrin pulled the girl to her feet. “Don't you dare die on me, Arcadia!” The demon yelled out as they watched another of Meliodas's hearts get stabbed. “Three, four, five.” Estarossa counted as he stabbed each heart perfectly with a new sword each time. “You'll have to kill the captain over my dead fucking body!” ban yelled out as he tried even harder to break Estarossa's neck. “Six.” “Don't do it...” “Don't kill him, please Uncle!” Arcadia couldn't move with Fraudrin holding onto her protectively. “Farewell... my precious brother... my beloved... Meliodas.” With that, the last heart of Meliodas was pierced. Ban yelled out loudly with tears flowing down his face. “You know... with all that shouting you've been doing... you're liable to pop my eardrums. Gnats should know their place...” With that, Ban popped like a balloon. “No!” Arcadia cried out, falling to the ground. Fraudrin let her go and watched as Estarossa stood proudly. “Meliodas, as of now, has finally met his demise. Britannia is now the demon tribes' for the taking... let the show begin.” With that, the Ten Commandments, minus Fraudrin flew off. “Join us. We can be like the old days again.” Fraudrin held out his hand to the crying girl. “You killed my mother, and then let my father die, are you fucking kidding me?!” She smacked his hand away from her and glared up at him with hate in her eyes. “I see...” With that, the demon bent down and kissed the girl's hair before speaking once again. “I...” “Don't even say you love me, because I know you, a demon, doesn't love me at all...” “Very well.” Then, with those words, Fraudrin flew off as well, leaving the girl all alone with the dead body of her father. The next thing she knew, she heard Elizabeth's voice calling out for Meliodas and Hendrickson calling out for her. “Over here...” Arcadia managed to call out to them. Instantly, she was able to see the man and the girl. Elizabeth quickly made her way to Meliodas, as Hendrickson made his way to Arcadia. “You're still alive... I thought you...” Hendrickson gasped out shocked as he dropped to his knees. “I'm not dead yet...” She smiled up at him, as she leaned against his body. “Please heal me...” “Of course. That's why I'm here.” Hendrickson instantly began to heal the two wounds where her hearts used to be. He couldn't save the destroyed hearts, but he could heal the wounds to stop them from bleeding. “I didn't die... I came back to you...” Arcadia whispered to the man as he healed her. “You did a good job of not dying.” “Where's Griamore?” “With Gil and Howzer. I didn't think he needed to see such a sight.” He was referring to the state Meliodas was in. Elizabeth was now crying and screaming over Meliodas's body. The two adults didn't know what to do, but they knew that they needed to be with her now. With Arcadia now healed, she stood up and walked over to the crying girl. “Elizabeth...” Arcadia started as she sat down next to the girl. “I'm so sorry I couldn't save him...” “You called him your father... Can you explain that to me?” “I can't...” “I understand...” Elizabeth didn't fully understand despite what she said, but she knew the girl wasn't going to say anything. Suddenly, Gilfrost appeared there. “Let's go. I'll take you back to Liones.” “No, take me and Meliodas to the Boar Hat... Bring Hawk too...” “I want to come with you!” Arcadia stated, but Elizabeth just shook her head. “No, you need to stay with Hendrickson and Griamore.” “I...” There was something Arcadia wanted to say, but she couldn't. So, she just turned to look at Hendrickson and smiled sadly at him. “What now?” “I... I'm not sure...” The two adults just looked at each other in confusion. They'd just suffered a terrible loss, and now they weren't sure what they were going to do. However, they knew they were going to do it together.

[femslashhistorian]

4+4 Great Alex Danvers/Lena Luthor - AgentCorp Fic Recs

In this Alex Danvers/Lena Luthor - AgentCorp (Supergirl) Femslash Fanfiction Recommendation, I have collected 8 excellent stories – 4 novel length stories and 4 shorter stories.

This is my review / rec for @femslashreviewfest (2017) Day 5: A fic for a rare pair, but works also nicely for Day 3: A recent fic from your current fandom.

What has always fascinated me about fanfiction (and not just in AUs) were “what if?” and “what could have been?” scenarios. Lena had saved Alex’s life and Alex was about to realize that she was gay. What if they had …?

Alex / Lena is one of my favorite rare pairs and these are my favorite fics.

Overview of the Alex / Lena stories (scroll down for the detailed recs and links)

The Wrong Girl For the Right Reasons & What Works For Us by Shatterpath: The one that was the first of many

No Lovers by TheLionGirl (KissMySelfie): The one that is my favorite, in which they slowly build a life together

Stronger At The Broken Places by ShipwreckedPrincess: The one in which Kara asked Lena to look after Alex

Rivals by rTracker: The one that is a strange and beautiful smut fic

4 short stories

1) The one that was the first of many

Title: The Wrong Girl For the Right Reasons & What Works For (Pyramid Series)

Author: Shatterpath ( @shatterpath on tumblr)

Setting: Supergirl TV 2015 (DCU) AU-ish

Relationship:  Alex Danvers/Lena Luthor (AgentCorp) (f/f)

Rating: Mature

Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Series synopsis: A long saga of Alex and Lena as a pairing, as well as their circles of family and friends.

Shatterpath has create an extensive series called Pyramid. Thus, while on AO3 The Wrong Girl For the Right Reasons is not the first story in the Pyramid series, it is the first Alex/ Lena story and was the first one written. The second ship in the series is Kyra Hart / Agent Vasquez (but they do not play a meaningful role in these two fics).

While clearly set early in S2 in a slightly alternate version of the Supergirl universe, the first story, could have just as well been a full AU. There is no action, no Supergirl and little of the history/baggage of Alex and Lena. The second story is much more embedded in season two of the show and includes Cadmus & co.

1) The Wrong Girl For the Right Reasons (2016)

11 Chapters, 25k words (completed)

There was nothing about Lena that was not a careful epitome of modern femininity, even the steely and dangerous-feeling fortitude she wore like armor. That femininity seeped into that well-guarded, confused place where Alex's protective mental door had been blown off its hinges and would not stay closed no matter how she might want it to. This… this was right, this was it. This softness and steel were exactly what she had denied herself for far too long.

Kara might have been Lena's first friend, but Alex soon followed, leading to some completely unexpected subtext. And kisses. And a weekend away...

No one is more surprised than they are at what happens after that.

2) What Works For Us (2017)

14 Chapters, 31k words (completed)

So, yeah, that really happened; a wild weekend Alex and Lena shared alongside the ocean. Now what? Alex and Lena struggle with the changes in relationships all around them, some strengthening and some shattering. Kara learns more about both of them then she thought she would and family and friends redefine themselves. There is truth in the coat of arms for the House of El: 'Stronger together'. Meanwhile the events of the Medusa Project are barreling down on them and will leave chaos in its wake.

After having fallen out with Maggie, Alex meets Lena at game night. They take a road trip together. For Alex who has just come out, all of this is very new ...

Hot and lovely. And very well written. These stories made me realize once again who much I love Alex Danvers - with Maggie, or with Kara or ... with Lena.

2) The one that is my favorite, in which they slowly build a life together

Title: No Lovers

Author: TheLionGirl (KissMySelfie) ( @kiss-my-selfie on tumblr)

Setting: Supergirl TV 2015

Relationship:  Alex Danvers/Lena Luthor (AgentCorp) (f/f)

6 Chapters, 45k words (completed)

Published: 2017

Rating: Mature

Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

“I’m lucky to have you as a friend,” Lena said. The agent did not say anything right away, playing with her coffee spoon and looking at the CEO.

“Is that what we are? Friends?”

“Would rather call us lovers? Although I myself never went out to coffee with any of my lovers, though is always better to keep one or two around…” Alex bit her lip so she wouldn’t ask how many they were (with some strange jealousy running thru her veins). “I don’t think that what we have here can be called either of them.”

This story changes very little from canon, in fact there is just on big “what if”: What if Maggie (despite the attraction to Alex) had rejected Alex more strongly, moved away and it took her far longer to come around... What if Alex had moved on in the meantime ...

Kara is getting married to Mon-el (which is where the show seems to be heading) and this leaves a very lonely and heartbroken Lena, who meets a lonely and heartbroken Alex at Kara's wedding. What starts as a one-night stand slowly grows to become much more.

This is my favorite Alex / Lena fic. Apart from a few prepossession mistakes otherwise very well written, the story stays true to the characters and their dynamic. It acknowledges Lena's attraction to Kara and the chemistry between them and between Alex and Maggie.

I liked that the story does not end when Alex and Lena get together. That there are problems and the climax of the story long after that. I love how it deals with the fact that yes, there are issues when Kara eventually leaves Mon-el and Alex (with her old fear of being not enough) thinks that Lena will leave her for Kara. I love how slowly Alex and Lena fall in love and despite the odds build a life together.

The characters always behave believable, there is no hyperbolic drama, no stupid mistakes. There is humor, drama and a bit of angst and no action.

 Favorite Quote:

“Kara, what are you doing? Kara let me go? Don’t let me go! Just put me one the ground. Or just slow down a little bit. I’m getting nauseous. Kara, can we go back, I have a date. Gosh, Kara a mountain! A mountain! Not everyone here is indestructible! I’m taking your flying license when we get back. Where are you taking me, Kara? Ow! I think a bird just hit me. Jesus, you weren’t this fast when we were young!”

And after what it felt like an eternity they landed in an unfamiliar balcony. Alex was ready to yell at her little sister for kidnapping her but she felt two arms surrounding her waist from behind and a kiss on her check.

“Thank you for bringing her here, Kara,” Lena said and the agent turned to face her, being received with a kiss. An earth-shattering, breathtaking kiss that for a moment made Alex completely forget about Kara kidnapping her and dangerously flying her to God-knows-where.

 3) The one in which Kara asked Lena to look after Alex

Title: Stronger At The Broken Places

Author: ShipwreckedPrincess

Setting: Supergirl TV 2015 (DCU)

Relationship:  Alex Danvers/Lena Luthor (AgentCorp) (f/f)

13 Chapters, 27k words (completed)

Published: 2017

Rating: Mature

Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

After her break up with Maggie, a devastated Alex refuses to leave her apartment or see her friends and family. Worried that Alex is truly broken, Kara enlists an unlikely person to check on her sister.

Lena, herself, is broken in a lot of ways. Can helping Alex change that?

A story of how the most unexpected beauty can come from the messiest parts of life.

The rather unique twist of this story is probably that Kara asked Lena to look after Alex. They get closer, but Lena is afraid to admit that she might be falling in love with Alex, although Kara is her biggest cheerleader and wing woman.

I usually do not read stories written in 2nd person. This fic is and the fact that I read it anyway and enjoyed it already says a lot. This is a sweet story with just a hint of angst and it culminates with a hot sex scene in the last chapter. Told purely from Lena's POV.

 Favorite Quote:

"Oh! I didn't realize it was getting so late!" Kara announces suddenly and with such drama you immediately know you need to play along. "We are going to miss the movie if we don't get going." Her mouth forms a hard line and her eyebrows raise up and down. Lord, you hope her life never depends on her subtlety, she'd be doomed.

4) The one that is a strange and beautiful smut fic

Title: Rivals

Author: rTracker

Setting: Supergirl TV 2015 (DCU) AU-ish

Relationship:  Alex Danvers/Lena Luthor (AgentCorp) (f/f)

45 Chapters, 145k words (completed)

Published: 2017

Rating: Mature

Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; read the author’s tags

If it's Alex and Lena smut you are looking for, come on in.

A 44 chapter story about Alex and Lena's first date. The date happens in chapter 44.

 This is an unusual fic that I enjoyed a lot. It starts with Alex needing to talk to Lena because Supergirl and Lena have been doing strange "experiments" together, that they try to keep hidden from Alex.

This story gives us a bit of a different take on Lena than the show and probably most fics I have read so far: Lena is rather adventurous and sexually aggressive, but despite her bravado and confidence, she is insecure when it comes to relationships.

The plot & love story There is a sort of Supergirl villain of the week plot but there are elements of a grotesque comedy and pieces that feel a bit like a twilight zone episode. This is a (long) novel length story and it is far more than a loosely connected smut anthology, but if you expect a novel sized cohesive plot, you might be disappointed: This is not a primarily (romance) plot driven fic and not the greatest love story of all time. But then again, I don't think this is what this story tries to be: the story arc is volatile and interrupted frequently by little vignettes, and it never takes itself too seriously.

The fic ends with a cliffhanger and book 2 is a WIP. But then again there are many things in this fic, but the conclusion of the overall plot is probably not what you will primarily be coming back for.

The vignettes / interludes The little interludes are delightful and lovely. Like little creative short stories, woven more or less loosely into the plot. (e.g. one about Jess and her family, one about the history of National city's warehouse district).

What really proves how special and brilliantly written they are is that I adored them, while typically I don't really like these in novels and see them as an unwelcome interruption.

The love triangles There are many arcs - many (possible) relationship, attractions and sexual tension in the story and the author does a fabulous job to dance around them and play with them: The main one (and endgame) is of course Alex and Lena, but there is also a Sanvers arc. Then there is Kara & Lena, and actually Lena & Supergirl - as Lena is not aware about Kara/Supergirl's identity.

While Kara is somewhat in Love with Lena (and may or may not be aware of it), the Kara/Lena/Alex love triangle is the stronger and more interesting one as Alex and Maggie are in a relationship at the beginning of the story. All the characters are somewhat flawed and human and portrayed very well by the author.

The Smut The smut scenes are brilliantly written, hot and kinky and probably the longest sex scenes I have ever read. I really enjoyed the elaborate mind games and "play" scenes between Alex and Lena.

Favorite Quote:

“I want normal,” said Alex. Letting Lena know with her touch that normal didn’t mean ‘boring.’ “I want dinners and movies and nights at home and...all the things you do in a relationship.”

Lena closed her lips in a line. […] “I just don’t know how to do any of those things. I’ve never had them.” […]

“Never.” Lena was letting Alex know...that the dead mother, the crazy adoptive family, the incarcerations, the death threats, the Lillian and Lex and Cadmus and the everything...none of it was normal. Lena had never once had normal. Ever.

Shorts

The following stories are all below 5k words. Some were always meant as one shots, some where meant to be a first chapter, but all of them feel complete enough and can enjoyably be read on their own.

5) Company Series

Author: Alsike

Setting: Supergirl TV 2015 (DCU) AU-ish

Relationship:  Alex Danvers/Lena Luthor (AgentCorp) (f/f)

Rating: Explicit

Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

1) Company

Lena wanted to drink and maybe find someone to fuck to get her mother out of her head. She finds Alex.

2) Company (Reprise)

Lena takes Alex home. An education ensues.

 Short but intense series of two fics. The second part is very hot.

 Favorite Quote:

Lena rolled her eyes. "Since you asked and it seems the answer isn't obvious, I can explain. What makes liquor even more fun? Company."

Now Alex looked confused. What was this?

"You wanted to find someone to talk to? Here?"

Lena groaned. "No. I wanted someone to fuck. God, why are both you Danvers girls this dense?"

6) Give Me Love Like Her by Kassebaum ( @kassebaum  on tumblr)

Rating: Mature

Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Lena's liaisons get her in trouble when she entangles herself with both Supergirl and Alex Danvers, not knowing they're sisters. She confides in her best friend Kara, who is unaware the 'other woman' is her own sister…

At the time of writing this, there is one chapter (Alex / Lena)

Alex and Lena don't know each other and after things did not work out with Maggie, they met at a bar and have a one night stand in an hotel. In the morning Lena is gone. Mostly very well written smut.

7) Background Checks by inkheart9459

Rating: General Audiences

Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

It all starts with Alex wanting protect Kara from Lena Luthor. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, it doesn't stay that simple.

Nice short Fic. Feels like the overture of a longer Alex / Lena fic that was never realized.

8) Going, and Getting, Through [ff.net] by By wow__just_wow (now orphan_account on AO3) / Twilight Imperil on ff.net)

Rating: General Audiences

Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

“I know what you’re going through, Ms. Danvers," Lena says. "If you ever need someone to talk to, someone -”

“You have no idea,” Alex hisses between clenched teeth.

Lena raises a brow, offers her a thin, mirthless smile. “I do, actually. I’ve been through it - all of it.” The struggle to discover and define who you are, being rejected, falling for unobtainable women. Yes, oh yes, Lena knows.

Or: Alex's gay awakening is a hard, confusing path...and Lena Luthor takes it upon herself to help her navigate it.

 Brilliant. There are hints of more (Kara who might be jealous, etc). Like the overture to an opera that unfortunately never was finished. Sad that it never was continued but this is a beautiful fic that can stand on its own. Considering that the author's account was orphaned, this one will never be finished

 If you liked this, you might enjoy more of my Supergirl femslash fanfic recs:

Know love’s exact reason – A SuperReignCorp Fic Rec

10 More Great and Long Kara / Lena Fics (SuperCorp)

6 Kalex and Supercorp Fics, featuring Cat Grant

4 Alex / Astra (General Danvers) Fics

Or all of them

|@femslashhistorian | f/f fic recs | f/f history | @femslashhistorianficrecs|

[marvelousheroes]

Best Friends with Rogers and Barnes

Pairing: Steve Rogers (pre-serum) x you x Bucky Barnes (all platonic) 

Request: hey uh it’d be hella cool if like you could write a fic where the reader and steve are best friends (with bucky too ofc) and they’re in highschool! you could do it in modern times or around the time when steve/bucky were teens. idk if you’ve written a fic like this before though, it’d be cool though. i hope this made sense by @kocktober​

Word count: 1225

Warnings: Like two curse words (but hey, sometimes ‘stupidface’ just doesn’t do the job)

A/N: So this is basically like a day with Steve and Bucky. Pretty light, no major plot twists or anything. Hope you’ll enjoy this! :)

PS: You can send me asks, stupid questions, messages anything! And please do :D send your asks here

Masterlist

“Hey Steve” you ran to your friend and gave him a massive hug.

“Oh, hey Y/N” Steve laughed and patted your back a bit to signal you that you were squeezing him too tight. You had known Steve for years now and he was the best friend you had ever had.

“So, are we still going to the movies tonight?” You asked him as you two started walking towards your classroom.

“Yeah, of course! I asked Bucky to come too” Steve smiled at you.

“That’s perfect!” you replied cheerfully. That cheerfulness was quickly removed from your face when you noticed the school bullies walking towards you. They were always so mean to Steve and you hated that. Why do they always have to pick on the smallest guys? Unlucky for you, Steve was always ready to fight them although he never won. You gave the bullies a murderous look trying to get them to back off, but it didn’t work. As they walked past you they pushed Steve to the lockers making him drop everything he was carrying to the floor.

“Loser” they shouted at Steve while he was picking up his things.

“Hey watch where you are going dickheads” You heard Bucky’s voice shout at them behind you. “Hey man, are you okay?” Bucky patted Steve’s shoulder as he stood up.

“Yeah” Steve said clearly embarrassed.

“Come on, let’s go to math class” you gave Steve a small smile. “You walking with us?” You asked Bucky while giving him a thankful smile.

“Yeah” Bucky smiled at you and put his hand on Steve’s shoulder in a protective manner.

After math you three headed to lunch. You were sitting at a table laughing with your friends when someone decided to push Steve again.

“Um, excuse me?” Steve exclaimed loudly. The boys laughed at him and started walking away when Steve stood up from his seat.

“Steve don’t! They’re not worth it” you tried to reason with him, but you could see in his eyes that he wasn’t backing down. The boys turned around a bit surprised of Steve’s actions but still laughing.

“Oh, little boy wants to fight me?” The biggest bully said.

“I don’t like bullies” Steve said and put his fists up as the bully walked closer to him. You looked at the scene in front of you in horror, knowing that Steve would have no chance winning this guy in a fight. The bully stopped with a crazy smile when he reached Steve. He looked at Steve from head to toe for a while then suddenly hit him in the face making Steve crash on the floor. The second his fist touched Steve’s face Bucky jumped out of his seat to knock down the guy. He then turned around to Steve with an eyeroll and helped him up.

“Bucky you don’t always have to come save me. I can take care of myself” Steve said annoyedly making Bucky roll his eyes again.

“Yeah, you seemed to be doing great” he said sarcastically while helping Steve to his seat.

“Yeah Steve you really need to stop doing that” you said with an angry tone. “You’re going to get yourself killed some day” you finished worriedly. You looked at Steve’s eye noticing that it was getting a little swollen. “I’ll get you some ice” you said as you stood up from your chair and walked to the lunch lady.

After school you went straight to the movie theater. You weren’t really as excited about the movie as you were about spending time with your best friends.

“Are you sure that you can even see the movie with your swollen eye?” You asked Steve as you stood in a line to get the tickets. “I mean we could do something else instead if you want” you continued while worriedly examining his eye.

“Y/N. Stop worrying about me. I’m fine. I can see just fine” Steve laughed a bit while shooing your hands away from his face.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure this is his regular now” Bucky let out a laugh.

“Okay, okay, sorry. I promise I won’t fuss over you anymore” you gave Steve an apologetic smile and bought the tickets for the three of you.

You went to a small diner near your home after the movie to get some late-night snack. You sat at your table laughing all night when you noticed a girl checking Steve out.

“Okay Steve. There is a cute girl on your left staring at you with heart eyes” you almost whispered in a low voice trying not to seem obvious about it.

“What? No there is not” Steve blushed a bit and shook his head. “She’s probably staring at Bucky” he continued while stuffing his food to his mouth.

“No, she’s not,” you smiled widely at Steve. “Trust me, she’s into you” you winked at him finally making him lift his gaze from his food.

“Okay, she is seriously staring at you like she wants to eat you,” Bucky looked at her with wide eyes.

“Oh, is someone jealous” you poked Bucky’s side jokingly.

“What, no, of course not. I could get any girl here I want” Bucky sat up trying to hide the fact that he was a bit jealous about the fact that the girl hadn’t even noticed him.

“Mhm, yeah right” you muttered while taking a sip from your milkshake. “But seriously Steve, go talk to her!” you gave Steve an encouraging smile.

“No, why would she be interested in me” Steve let out a sad laugher.

“Um, maybe because you are really cute and you are so smart, and funny, and…” you started listing all the great qualities in Steve when he stopped you.

“aaand short” he added shaking his head.

“Okay, so fucking what?” you said immediately.

“Y/N, language” Steve gave you a stern look.

“Okay, well maybe you are a bit uptight, but I bet she could overlook that because of how great you are otherwise” you rolled your eyes a bit making Bucky laugh. Steve shook his head at you two and then sat up a bit.

“You really think she could be into me?” Steve asked you while sitting on the edge of his seat.

“Yes, absolutely. Now go steal her heart Stevie” you winked at him and he walked to the girl. You and Bucky looked excitedly at Steve talking to the girl. It seemed to go really well. After talking for a while Steve sat next to the girl giving you a look that it was going to take him a while. You turned to Bucky with an excited grin.

“Okay, am I the best or the best?” you laughed making Bucky roll his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re the best. Now you can try to find a girl for me too” Bucky winked at you.

“Well, you just said that you could get any girl you wanted so where do you need my help” you said sarcastically.

“Well, you’re absolutely right” Bucky said and stood up from his seat.

“Okay sit your ass down mister. You’re not going to leave me here alone” you said to Bucky making him roll his eyes once again.

You and Bucky spent the rest of the night staring at Steve talking to the girl and giving him unhelpful thumbs ups and winks.

Tags: If you want to be tagged in my imagines, send me a message here and tell me what kind of posts you want to be tagged in (which characters).

@thejemersoninferno, @germolig02, @eponine-xx, @pillow223, @sadlittlestick, @superwholockian5ever, @tomholllaand, @kampfzwergwiesel, @wizardinthewrongplace, @kianya-loves, @superwholockianowl,  @aplus-trash, @mizz-kraziii, @every-heart-has-scars​

[theblondeintheoffice]

October 2020 Reading Wrap Up

If you’d like to visit the actual blog, here’s the link: http://theblondeintheoffice.com/2020/12/05/october-2020-wrap-up/

If you’d rather stay on Tumblr, I totally get that, too. Here’s the post:

Another month in the books, and we are well on our way to longer nights and cooler days. Here in Florida, it'll still be in the 80's well into December. I can't remember a holiday season in at least a decade where we haven't had the air conditioning on full blast. I've always wanted to wear one of those cute Snow Princess costumes - the cute velvet ones with the faux fur collars and cuffs - for Halloween, but it's just never been in the cards here.

In October, I didn't have a set TBR. My goal was to make up for my lack of spooky books in September. I really wanted to get into the Halloween spirit with some ghost stories or a creepy murder mystery. But not too scary because I'm the worlds biggest wuss. I did better - but I didn't quite get there. It wasn't for lack of trying - I went through my whole TBR and scoured Booktube to try to find some creepy-but-not-so-scary-I-wouldn't-sleep books. They just don't exist! I don't like scary. I don't like being scared. And you know what - there's nothing wrong with that.

So I'm sure by now you're ready to know what I actually did read. Well, without further ado . . . and remember that if you use the link in the paragraph, I get a few cents from your purchase through the Amazon affiliate program to help keep the blog going.

The first book I chose this month was The Haunting of H.G. Wells by Robert Masello. H.G. Wells, for anyone who doesn't know, was a prolific sci-fi writer in the late 19th century. In The Haunting of H.G. Wells, we see H.G. travel to front lines of the war to report and boost public morale. When H.G. gets separated from his unit and ends up in a mustard gas attack, he begins seeing things he can't explain. These apparitions start telling him that the war isn't just being fought on the frontlines - that there is a dangerous and deadly plot afoot in the heart of London. Can H.G. and his companion (yes, that kind) Rebecca West stop this plot?

This was a three star read for me. It's  October appropriate because what's more spooky than ghost soldiers? Besides little kid ghosts . . . eesh. No. The Kindle version comes in at around 393 pages, and it's a fast paced romp through a war torn London in the early 20th century. It draws on well-known myths and lore and uses magical realism and other prominent characters from the time period to weave a tale of intrigue. The main antagonist is written well enough that you are honestly scared of him in a few scenes. The rest of the characters are a bit of a wash. Masello was definitely focused on making the book about H.G. Wells, and darn the fact that he has to write all these other characters, too.

Pick up your copy [ here ]

The second book I read in October was Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo. Leigh Bardugo is better known for her Grisha series, which I haven't read yet. Ninth House is not part of this series. It looks like it might be part of its own series and I am HERE FOR THIS.

Ninth House tells the story of Alex Stern, a girl with a tragic past and a dark secret who is recruited to attend Yale by the Dean of the college after she survives a gruesome attack on her and her roommates. The college has nine houses. Eight are devoted to magick and the mystical arts. The ninth, called Lethe, is devoted to policing the other eight houses and making sure that they don't let anything out - or in. Alex is especially suited to this task because ever since she was a little girl, she's been able to see ghosts. When her trainer goes missing and a townie gets murdered on campus, she has to rely on this gift to solve both crimes, against the advice of Lethe house and in a wild race with time and the next moon cycle.

What a perfect book for October - a murder mystery about Yale in the fall! I was going to rate this one three stars - I was entertained but the story wasn't exactly life changing. In 476 Kindle pages, it didn't break my heart or leave me crying in my kitchen floor. The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized it deserves four stars. It's an original story, Alex was relatable to me (she's not to a lot of people but we aren't going to have that conversation today), and I couldn't put it down. I spent 2 hours sitting on a freezing cold beach with a biting wind blowing because I didn't want to put the book down to pack up and go back to the Airbnb. The ending wasn't exactly happy and there was no stupid romance shoved into the story just to be there. Are some things a stretch? Yes. I'm not saying it's a perfect story but I had so much fun reading it! If there is more to the Alex Stern series, I'll probably buy the ebook the day it comes out.

Grab your copy [ here ]

After reading Ninth House, I needed something a little lighter. The Wicked Deep by Shea Ernshaw fit the bill. This was a total cover buy for me. I found it at one of my local used book stores. The wording and design on the cover are iridescent and it was sitting on its shelf shimmering when I decided it needed to come home with me.

The Wicked Deep tells the story of Sparrow, Oregon where three sisters were drowned as witches in the harbor of the little town. Ever since, for a short time each summer they return and steal the bodies of three girls with the aim of luring at least three more boys to their death in the deep, cold water. Penny Talbot has lived in Sparrow all her life and has watched the cycle play out for as long as she can remember. This year, Penny has something to lose. A new boy has just driven into town, and he has no idea what he just walked into.

This was another three star for me, albeit a low three. It was wonderfully YA tropey and was such a perfect read for October, even though it's set in summer. It was a quick, light read coming in at 320 Kindle pages. The author really made you feel for the sisters. To be murdered so violently for a crime they didn't even commit - well, I would absolutely come back and wreak havoc if I could. The ending left a lot to be desired, though, and the twist in the middle was so halfhearted that when it was revealed I just shrugged and kept reading. Overall, it's an easy read if you need a palate cleaner between heavy books and you don't feel like reading Harry Potter again.

Pick up your copy [ here ]

My closer for October is a book that you have no doubt seen on many a BookTube, Bookstagram, Bookblr, and book blog. It's majorly hyped for being a story of a black witch in a Salem-esque town with a religious hierarchy that recalls tales of Mormon polygamy and cult like devotion. It was also supposed to be scary as hell. What better book to read to close out October and celebrate Halloween with?!

The Year of the Witching by Alexis Henderson is about an orphan girl named Immanuelle who lives with her grandparents and cousins in a town called Bethel. After the tragic deaths of her mother and father before she was born, Immanuelle tries hard - very hard - to follow the teachings of the church and to worship the Father. Inside, though, Immanuelle knows that she's different. For starters, she can hear the Darkwood that surrounds Bethel calling her by name and beckoning her inside, which is strictly forbidden by the church. One night on her way home from the market, her ram runs into the forest. Immanuelle has no choice but to follow. In doing so, she starts a chain events that will change the town - and her - forever.

I really wanted to love this book. I wanted it to be a five star read. Witches and religous cults and a creepy forest - it's the perfect recipe to give you chills and enrage you all at the same time. That's not what I got from this one. It was a great concept - a young black witch going to war with a religious sect. I even got excited again writing the blurb up there! The writing fell flat for me. Immanuelle was a great character. Her pain, her conflict, her ostracization just for looking different made her complex and beautiful. The story didn't do her justice.

Ultimately, I gave this one three stars. I finished, I was entertained, and towards the end of the book I didn't want to put it down. According to Goodreads, I devoured all 363 Kindle pages in 4 days. Read it - really, I insist.

Buy it [ here ] 

So to recap, I ended up with a historical fiction ghost story, an Ivy league murder mystery, a revenge story including possession, and a historical fiction about a witch. That is as scary as I would like to read, thankyouverymuch!

What did you read in October or how did you celebrate Halloween with social distancing?

[prettylittleliarsxxxx]

In 2009, Vampire Diaries showrunner Julie Plec welcomed viewers to Mystic Falls for what would become eight seasons of epic love and epic twists. The following year, Pretty Little Liars showrunner I. Marlene King kicked off the seven-season story of Rosewood, a town filled with high-stakes friendship and mystery. Both shows would attract rabid fanbases that would sustain them until they aired their final episodes in 2017.

EW asked King and Plec to talk about their experiences saying goodbye.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: When it came to ending your shows, what were you most nervous about? I. MARLENE KING: At the time, I was the most nervous about keeping it together at certain moments on set, for example the scene in the finale where the girls say goodbye. We knew that would be really really difficult and I was sort of punching myself for writing it, but I knew that it would be worth it. Then as we got closer to airing the episode, we all started to get a little bit nervous about how it was going to be received because people are really harsh on finales.

JULIE PLEC: I felt that heavy pressure as a fan of television to make sure we stuck the landing because I get so crushed when I see what I perceive to be a mediocre series finale. I wanted people to talk about the finale of The Vampire Diaries as one of their favorites, which is a lofty ambition, but it certainly drove me hard creatively to make sure that we had put as much thought and love into it as we possibly could.

Once the finale aired, was there anything that surprised you about the fan reaction? KING: I was very floored by the Spoby fans. It never occurred to any single one of us that those fans would be unhappy with the ending because I feel like there’s this remarkable, wonderful moment between Spencer and Toby where he realizes she is the real Spencer. He was her knight in shining armor, but the fans were still upset that he had sex with Alex Drake. So that really surprised me. I felt like they got their happy ending, but the true Spoby fans were very upset and I feel bad about that to this day.

PLEC: For me there’s always that faction of shippers who can’t look at an episode in a global way and enjoy the experience of the entire story, who can only really count minutes of screen time for their ship, and I figured, when all was said and done, that there would be some cranky people. But I also decided I didn’t care. I decided I wasn’t making the finale for anybody who still had anything invested in the love triangle. I was making it for people who were invested in the relationship between the brothers. That freed up Kevin [Williamson] and me from any pressure we felt about what the fandom might think.

What were the biggest debates when crafting your endings? KING: We had so many different endings. At one point in time, I was going to end with the girls saying goodbye, and then we were going to end with the Mona reveal, and then we were going to end with a little reboot, not to set up a spin-off, but with the new girls saying, “The mythology of this town continues.”

PLEC: I wanted flash-forwards. Ever since we decided to put Elena in a sleeping beauty spell that couldn’t be broken until Bonnie died, I wanted to see the scene with 85-year-old Bonnie and Damon by her side, and they’re the best of friends. And then she dies of natural causes because I just thought that Bonnie deserved a rich and full life. I had this scene in my head for so long and then Kevin [felt] that stories are more impactful when you play them in the here and now. So we compromised by showing everybody just slightly ahead in their life and having those characters observing from peace, which in my opinion worked like a charm and I’m so happy we did it that way. The other big debate we had was: Which Salvatore brother is going to take the bullet for the other? We debated that so much because we could make a really strong case for either. And we finally settled on Damon was going to die. And then Kevin walked into the room and he’s like, “What’s Stefan’s life going to be like?” I said, “He’s going to be happy with Caroline and uh uh… uh, I don’t know.” [Laughs] I’m like, “You’re right, it needs to go the other way.” It was so funny because we had thought about it in the room so much that we had talked ourselves into one path, but all we needed was him to walk in and be like, “But… isn’t it cooler the other way?” And so we switched it. He gets all the credit for that.

Marlene, did you ever consider killing a main character like Julie did? KING: No. I’m a total happy-ever-after person. I felt like the fans deserved to see the girls happy and the characters deserved to be happy. They’re going to be scarred from this existence for the rest of their lives, but I wanted to give them hope.

PLEC: I look at Friday Night Lights as one of my all-time favorite series finales and that is what you 
want. After all the roads you’ve traveled with these people, you just want to know that they’re going to be happy. I’m a big believer in shows that make that choice.

KING: I still want Walter White to be alive. [Plec laughs]

You both directed your series finales — why was that important to you? KING: I love directing because first and foremost you get to be with your on-set family. But also, as the creator, there’s nobody who knows how to put it on the screen more than you. I might not be the best director in the world but my team around me, we all work together to make it the best episode. There are more experienced people than me at directing, but I always feel like my heart and soul is up on that screen. I think Julie probably would feel the same way but you can tell me if I’m wrong.

PLEC: Everything you just said is exactly how I would sum that up. The only thing I would add is that often the relationship between a showrunner and an episodic director can be fraught with tension, and I wouldn’t want to have that tension around for the last episode, which is such a celebration. And secondly, what I was able to do because I was there deciding if we could run over was then very fluidly honor the set we were leaving behind for the last time, or say a big group farewell to Damon’s car when we wrapped it for the last time, and then not to mention, honor each actor individually as they shot their last scene. So it turned into one big celebration, which somebody else wouldn’t have been able to do that without worrying about the time they were wasting.

KING: I’m sure you found this experience too where it was such a group effort. There were recurring actors on our show who weren’t even in the finale who came to say goodbye to certain characters. It was such a family affair.

PLEC: Yeah, the overall experience was so profoundly beautiful. Watching these actors get hit with that realization that they’re done and this family they’ve built is gathered around them to say goodbye, watching them all completely fall apart was so great. It felt like we were graduating high school.

KING: That was our wrap gift was high school yearbooks that we put together over the course of the whole season to give to people.

PLEC: That’s such a great gift.

I know both your fandoms loved to talk about certain couples being “endgame.” What do you feel are the biggest myths out there about ending shows? PLEC: When fans would say, “Oh you’re teeing up endgame,” I would say, “I am teeing up nothing because I am letting these characters tell me how they want their story to end.” And within that, you’re working off of actor chemistry, and you’re working off of your lead actress leaving the series after six years, which shuts the door to explore a return to the other corner of the love triangle. I would’ve happily worked my way back around to Stefan and Elena at some point in the series if Nina Dobrev hadn’t left, if the story led me that way. There is no definitive end to anybody’s story when you’re dealing with the fluidity of chemistry because when it gets stale, you want out. It doesn’t matter if these characters are supposed to be together forever, if their chemistry gets stale, you want somebody to die, you want to put somebody in a coma, you want to write them off the show, anything to save you.

KING: I would say that too. I totally agree with that, 100 percent. But for us, what I didn’t understand because I had never gone through a series finale before was the absolute yin and yang of it. In one respect, you have so much relief and it’s like the weight of the world is off your shoulders and, at the same time, you’re experiencing a death. I never expected to have such extreme feelings at the same time. It was exhausting.

Looking back now, is there anything you’d do differently? KING: Yes, I would have Spencer and Toby kiss! I wouldn’t change anything plot-wise — we always knew Alex Drake was going to be our Uber A — but I do feel like I would’ve loved to have given Spoby the extra bonus happy ending, but you’d have to have another hour for that.

[Plec admits she has one regret that she won’t discuss, but she will say it involves kissing.]

What was the most difficult scene of the finale 
to write? PLEC: All year long, I cried to the point where it got embarrassing. So I thought when I finally wrote the script that I would just be sobbing, and I didn’t. I thought, “Oh god, I’ve lost my ability to be in touch with my soul.” [Laughs] But then I made up for it by crying the last 10 days that we shot the series.

KING: I finished the script, except for that scene where the girls say goodbye. I didn’t write that until the day before the table read. I just couldn’t get it out.

PLEC: Marlene, do you think you’ll ever feel this way again when you bring something to a close?

KING: I might change my mind but I want to say no. This was so special that if I ever get it again, I’ll be shocked.

PLEC: Yeah, me too. I’m incredibly grateful to have gotten to feel as much as I felt.