#the clock and chains make me think sonic cd

[sonknuxadow]

took a look in the notes of that last post out of curiosity and saw a few people mentioning sonic unleashed and as the resident sonic unleashed fan i dont understand how you could get sonic unleashed from any of those emoji combinations ?

[beevean]

How about a top 5 (or 10 if you prefer) best and worst bosses in video games? :D

I’m not very well versed in videogames, but anyway...

WORST

10) Chaos 4 (Sonic Adventure): Not a big fan of bosses who waste so much time - ooh, look at that, trying to hit me with very slow, very telegraphed attacks, and taking more and more time to becomes vulnerable the more the fight progresses. Also not a big fan of Tactical Suicide Bosses (excuse me Chaos, why is your strategy “stay in the water for increasingly amounts of time and then decide to raise my head to breathe”? In this form you’re a fish!). Even less of a fan of bosses that you have to fight three times to complete the game.

9) Sonic and Diablon (Shadow the Hedgehog): They couldn’t have come up with a more boring boss if they tried. Shoot the shield, shoot the cannon, avoid the hand, run away when you hear the word “anti-matter”, kick Sonic in the head, slowly chip at the large energy bar, rinse and repeat. The G.U.N. Fortress version is particularly painful, too, as the arena only offers those piss poor pistols with 10 bullets and minimal damage. And much like Chaos 4, you have to fight this lovely boss three times to get to the Last Story, except you don’t even get a different character with different abilities. Also, poor Sonic, from protagonist of the series reduced to nothing more than a footstep.

8) Collision Chaos boss (Sonic CD): Try to play a boss that relies on wonky pinball physics, that shoots projectiles with the only purpose of changing your already precarious trajectory, in the Bad Future that adds slightly more bumpers to destroy, with the American music (I linked the extended version to properly depict the experience). Pain is real.

7) Egg Pinball (Sonic Advance 3): Surprise! I find this boss worse than the more famous Egg Chaser. Yes, the Egg Chaser is very anxiety-inducing with its bottomless pit and the ball chain sending you into it, but once you learn the pattern of the platforms and that Amy as a partner makes it a joke it’s not that bad. This one, though? Even with Amy/Sonic, which is the only team where your partner is useless but you aren’t, this boss relies too much on luck, expecially by the end when way too many balls are flying across the screen. It’s almost funny, in a “screw you” way, that this is one of the two bosses in the game that can’t be hit by Cheese, in the stage where you finally unlock Cream. Pinball and Sonic don’t mix as well as Sonic Team thinks, apparently.

6) Boost Guardian (Metroid Prime 2, Gamecube): This boss’ strategy isn’t even that bad, it’s just that it hits you like a truck in an environment that is already sipping you of health. If being hit was less punishing, guessing the correct timing to jump over it would be fun. Too overkill for its placement in the game.

5) Mother Brain (Metroid Zero Mission): MB in the original Metroid 1 was... there, with the difficulty of the final boss coming from those stupid Rinkas pushing you into the lava below. In the remake, which otherwise is much easier than the original game, you have to think about the Rinkas, the lava, and MB who shots you fireballs! And if you fall into the lava (and you will spend half of the time in the lava)? She closes her eye and protects her only weak spot, forcing you to wait at the mercy of the Rinkas hitting you all over again. Asshole.

4) Dark Gaia (Sonic Unleashed): Dark Gaia, as a whole, is a stain on an otherwise beautiful game. Setting aside his “character” for a while: this boss is way, WAY too long (the first time I clocked at 11 minutes, like hell I’m trying again), the Gaia Colossus phase is frustrating for how slow it is and for having a nigh-unavoidable attack, the running phase requires pitch-perfect timing otherwise say bye bye to your life, and the Super Sonic phase is essentially “slipping down the shield to run over a bunch of snakes, then QTE up your ass”. Riveting. At least it has some banging music...

3) Egg Saucer (Sonic Advance 2): The bosses in SAd2 are already questionable with their “wind pushing you backwards” physics, but this one flings you enough bullshit to make you ragequit. Whoisthisgit made an excellent video explaining everything that makes this boss such a miserable experience. I am so sorry, Knuckles, that you had to be associated with this tragedy.

2) Antlion Mecha (Sonic 2, Game Gear): So let me get this straight devs, you take a boss that is already a little too had as the first boss in the game, you put it in a console with a much smaller screen, you screw up the slope physics making it just a little too easy to slide into the antlion’s jaws (and of course you don’t have any Rings), and on top of that you make the trajectory of the projectiles random when in the Master System they were consistent? Great game design there, guys :V

1) Spider Guardian (Metroid Prime 2, Gamecube): I was never as close as bestemmiare ogni santo e pure il padre eterno as I was when I was trying to beat this abomination. I love the Ing theme, but FUCK if I wasn’t hating every single sound of it while playing, OH MY GOD I envy the people who played it on the Wii so damn much

BEST

10) Robot Carnival/Storm (Sonic Heroes): Yes! Yes, I do like this boss! I’m probably the only one, I don’t care, I find these fights cathartic, especially with Team Chaotix <3

9) Jet Drill (Sonic 3 & Knuckles): The strategy may be simple, but I love the setup of Eggman destroying an ancient garden just to kill Sonic and I love how it emphasizes how much of a reliable bro Tails is. (let’s just ignore the fact that with Tails alone this boss is a pain...)

8) Doomsday Zone (Sonic 3 & Knuckles): The series had its fair share of Super Sonic bosses, but so far no one has beaten the original. It has excellent music, you can feel the tension as you smartly redirect Eggman’s missiles to him and as you chase him down through space, and Eggman in this game is really ready to do anything to win, I love it

7) Beta mk. II (Sonic Adventure): This is probably the best part of Gamma’s campaign. 90% of it is kindergarten-easy, and then Hot Shelter and the final boss are a sudden, but welcome spike in difficulty. Beta mk. II is a far cry from any other E-series robot you’ve faced, being almost completely invulnerable, hitting you with straight up nukes, and the time is still ticking in the corner. Then you add the context of having to kill your brother, and the deceptively upbeat theme, and it becomes a memorable experience.

6) Cykka (Metroid Prime 2): The first phase is fairly boring, but Adult Cykka is really fun to fight for some reason. Not only it has a cool design, but it’s a fast-paced battle (due to having to use the Grapple Beam to swing from platform to platform) where you have to go ham on the boss at certain points (when it becomes Dark Cykka), my two favorite styles for a boss.

5) Nightmare (Metroid Fusion): A name, a certainty. This boss looks, sounds and attacks in a way that makes you feel confused and powerless. Even at it becomes a game of “climb the stairs, shoot at its ungodly face, jump around to avoid it”, it’s still tense.

4) Ridley (Super Metroid): SM isn’t famous for having great bosses, but they put all of their effort into Ridley and it shows. There’s no strategy here, it’s simply “kill him before he kills you”. At this point you’re pretty much at the peak of your strength, you went through literal Hell to get The Baby back, you’re not going to be stopped by the asshole who killed your parents.

3) Shibusawa Keiji (Yakuza 0): What a beast of a final boss. The first Dragon of Dojima is the perfect foil to Kiryu, having all of his strength and style but none of his compassion, and beating him up to a bloody pulp, especially as you see him become sloppier and sloppier, is so, so cathartic. Also, Two Dragons, what more can I say?

2) Egg Dragoon (Sonic Unleashed): Best boss in the series? I don’t know but it’s surely in the top 10, and it’s ironic that you play as the hated Werehog. Not only it has some delicious music (that generations ruined), but it’s such a fun climax after the hell and a half that is Eggmanland! On one hand, Eggman sounds seriously angry and he is ready to kill Sonic (and if you take too much time, which admittedly is hard if you’re not doing it on purpose, he is positively gleeful while he sends you into a fiery death); on the other, Sonic just rips this giant robot apart like tissue paper, and even if it’s done through QTEs, it looks awesome.

1) Kuze Daisaku (Yakuza 0): I’ll let this say it all. If I had to pick a favorite version, the fifth one was my favorite to fight (by that point you have likely upgraded Kiryu’s abilities to the point of making him a juggernaut), but the second one is iconic for a reason... multiple, in fact. “DIE, YOU LITTLE SHIT!”

Special mention to Majima in Y1, YK and YK2 because he looks really fun, but I have never faced him myself so yeah.

[lucindarobinsonvevo]

This week, a record made and released by close collaborators Eerie, Indiana and Heart on a Chain received a re-release with a deluxe edition to celebrate its 20th birthday 

Though the front cover of Marshall’s Theory of Believably, the joint album by bands Eerie, Indiana and Heart on a Chain names only those two bands, the project was a collaboration between all the members of the Indiana seven. The Indiana Seven were a close group of collaborators who had a close working relationship in the 90s, creating iconic tracks and albums. The cover, which depicts a lone man in a ghost costume was shot by Sara Sue, an artist/photographer who shot most of the Eerie, Indiana’s album covers, and a track labeled ‘we gave this track to Tod’ features the enigmatic artist known as Tod, who also helped on the band’s delayed record Broken Record. The album art is different from the works of both bands, with Eerie, Indiana frequently having a sort of DIY feel to their photoshoots and Heart on a Chain tending to the more abstract kind. These particular photos (remastered for the deluxe edition) depict various band members in the dessert wearing a sheet over their heads with large black eye holes. The cover is Holmes, peering from behind a large unlit bonfire at the viewer. The title is written in the handwriting of Janet Donner, who also features as the figure on the CD itself. Teller features on the back of the album, and the back page of the liner notes, waving goodbye. Inside the liner, there are images of X, with Monroe being absent, apparently due to having a broken leg at the time of the shoot following an incident at a waterpark.

The album features twelve tracks, with many of them focusing on the idea of cryptids and other mysterious entities to make up the metaphors of the song. On the idea for the Album, Donner said: We wanted to talk about love as we knew it. This broad, mysterious concept that so many people in their twenties make love out to be.” On what she thinks of love now, Donner then remarked: Love is being glad the world hasn’t ended yet. I’ll leave you to make of that what you will. On the album, both X and Teller have cited the other as an inspiration behind the tracks, which will not come as a surprise to anyone who frequently listens to Eerie, Indiana as the pairs sometimes tumultuous relationship is often at the center of the most controversial and interesting projects done by the band. But this album is, more than anything else, a happy one. 

The first single released from this album was the track ‘Sometimes I Almost Miss You’ in the one-two punch style of Eerie, Indiana the track is titled like a break-up but is a love song. Over an energetic guitar track and drum machine, Monroe sings about the heart transplant she’d had some years before and how she believes that she can still feel the donor even though he’s (according to the lyrics) long gone and sweetly resting. The track is careful to avoid any religious implications, instead suggesting that the donor (who has since been identified as Devon Wilde) instead rests inside her chest. With X on the guitar and Holmes on the drum machine and (of all things) the triangle, Teller is free to singe verses from the perspective of the heart donor, viewing the world from inside Monroe’s chest while Donner provides very beautiful backing harmonies. The overall mood of the track is one of quiet love and happiness, as well as gratefulness to the young boy who gave her the second chance. Those familiar with the work of Heart on a Chain know that the transplant features heavily in their songs and it’s no surprise to see it here. 

The second track released in the work was ‘Me and My Jackalope’ and fueled rumors about a relationship between Teller and his bandmate, Dash X. At the time, both were closeted at the request of the label to avoid scandal. “Being in the closest literally almost killed me.” Teller would reflect later, interviewing for a project he did, releasing tracks for an LGBT themed album in the 2000s.”The funny thing is, I don’t think anyone who listened to us gave a damn. We’d go on stage, and we used to stand so close our knuckles were almost touching getting up in each other’s face and people would just go crazy.” Me and My Jackalope is, as you may have guessed, a song about impossible love. A love that the singer, in this case, mostly Teller, keeps hidden under his bed, only bringing it out to play when he’s alone. It’s a slow, sad track with Teller crooning to his animal “If they saw you, then they’d send you away.” Both Holmes and Monroe are credited as writers on the track, with the usual Eerie, Indiana flavor of complicated guitar playing set aside in favor of Donner and a violin and Holmes playing an assortment of other instruments. 

The third and final promotional single was meant to be Skylines, which lyrics from are also featured on the inside booklet of the album however at the last minute it was swapped out to the Meatloaf cover in the center of the album, Midnight at the Lost and Found due to ‘label meddling’ after it was decided they needed another upbeat track after Me and my Jackalope. The track is nothing special, a seemingly typical Eerie, Indiana cover. Eerie, Indiana frequently covered Meatloaf and Jim Stienman tracks, hoping to work with one or the other someday. Sadly, this collaboration never came to be. But it’s a fun song, much like the original version from the 1983 album by Meatloaf. Somewhat of a deep cut by today’s standards, but it’s fun. Which I think was probably the mission statement of this album if Dash X is to be believed (Yes, that’s his stage name, no I do not know his real name). ‘We were a bunch of 20 something friends given a studio and a year or two to do whatever we wanted. So we did whatever we wanted, which was being weird.’ 

Skylines and it’s reprise is a group effort, with every member of the group joining in with the writing process to produce something that could have gone astray but managed to come together into something coherent. Skylines covers the re-treaded ground of many bands, it’s a song set about missing people while on tour. Set against New York’s bright, iconic skyline the track is mostly led by Donner as she wonders what her lover is doing right now. Her lover, played by Teller wonders about if his lover will stay in New York, swept up by the bright skylines, and pleading for them to simply be theirs. The track has backing vocals from all of the members involved, including Holmes who mostly shies away from singing parts. ‘It’s not that I don’t love to sing.” He explains, “I’m just not very good at it. Marshall was always the singer, I’m much happier playing the drums, or a cello or something.” 

The final track on the album, clocking in at nine minutes, is Cryptids (I Still Believe in You and Me). This track shows off the impressive guitar skills of Teller and X, this time paired with the violin playing from Donner who shows she can keep up with the boys by playing speedy, intense sections with precision. This Dash X penned track also has extensive work by Holmes on the drums and a solo from a very jazz saxophone in the third act. Ultimately, the song doesn’t quite come together, feeling disjointed and a little over-complicated. But...Maybe that’s how it’s meant to feel. Dash was never brought into Eerie, Indiana as a writer, he was brought on to foil with Marshall on stage and because he was the only person the label could find that could play the punishingly difficult riffs Teller produces. On his Instagram speaking about pride X has suggested that a lot of his music was changed during production because it was too overtly about men, while Donner and Teller both proficiently changed pronouns in there songs, or stuck to calling their love interests you. 

The album has three tracks that feel like filler, the intermission track which is not unusual on the cinematic, large scale Eerie, Indiana albums, a seemingly ‘story’ track called ‘Lost in Time’ which is a piece of Holmes poetry performed by Donner and an odd little track called ‘We Gave This One To Tod’ While the enigmatic Tod was often credited on Eerie, Indiana albums and opened for them at live shows he never quite reached the level of recognition his peers did. However, seeing the bizarre and experimental nature of his work, and his goth and punk leanings I think it’s safe to assume he was happier underground than his friends were blinded by the lights of showbiz. This piece features heavy synths and a drum machine. It doesn’t hit for me, but perhaps for a fan of Tod, it could be a holy grail. 

On this version of the album, known as the deluxe edition, we’re given three additional tracks. A demo version of Elvis and the Mothman, which is lyrically the same slowed all the way down with the shouting chorus replaced with a mouth against the mic crooner style. The released, upbeat anthem style track is a far better fit for the album. Baba Yaga in Heels is a Heart on a Chain only track, perhaps why it was discarded. It features a techno style dance beat, with the lyrics being about a night out with Baba Yaga, a Banshee, and a harpy. Ultimately, the lyrics are not that impactful but they don’t need to be. The final listed track is a cover of Meatloaf’s Bat out of Hell, which lyrically and sonically is almost identical to the original. 

Overall, what Marshall’s theory of Believability tries to do is ambitious. It’s an album between two experiential groups of friends trying to make something that they enjoy. But it’s not the best work of either group, which is a shame because it could have been something very special if they were given a little more time to work out some of the kinks and if they pruned some of the tracks that are superfluous to the story of the album. I’m happy to have a copy in my collection, but honestly, I’d rather listen to something the group produced independently anyway. 

[fluidsf]

Fluid Label Focus on QUANTUM NATIVES 4 Crown Shyness: Isonautics (2019) Review format: review copy of MP3 download as kindly provided by QUANTUM NATIVES Welcome to a review of the second recent release on the label QUANTUM NATIVES and once again we’ve got another awesome package of music with this album in MP3 download format. As always, QUANTUM NATIVES kindly sent me a review copy of the release via email, including all info and a link to a video for the first track on this album, Glacial Romance. The album we have here is titled Isonautics and is by the artist Crown Shyness. Crown Shyness is one of the aliases used by American artist Kevin Carey. The album description as provided in the email I got is again really interesting and this time in the form of what seems like an abstract narrative written as a fragment of a logbook by a captain of a large ship. The log tells that the ship had capsized during their journey but most importunately it talks about songs as being physical objects, chunks of frequencies. This description of music is derived from the sound of the sea as the title of this logbook fragment suggests and this theme of a journey on a ship combined with waves of abstracted music and musical elements flowing through the sound of the music is what I felt is the driving force of the Isonautics album. Before I move onto my review of the music and the video attached to the album for the track Glacial Romance, I’ll mention that download contains the 13 album tracks in 320kbps/48kHz above CD quality audio, the album cover in good 1100x1100p resolution as several icon files for the album cover and icon of this release on the map of the QUANTUM NATIVES site. Isonautics is an awesome album that is clearly composed like a continuous journey rather than a collection of several pieces as the 13 tracks all quite smoothly connect to eachother. Throughout the album the music switches from glitched and awesomely sound designed and composed melodic tracks with Deconstructed Club elements in them to soundscape like compositions built out of various sounds and occasional musical elements as well. Isonautics starts with Glacial Romance for which cceggyang and Aldéric Trével also made a video. The video features animation from both artists showing an articial landscape that features dark mountains and backgrounds that are changing overtime like architecture and nature blending and morphing together. Abstract rounded figures also feature in the video, like sculpted organisms embodying the sonic elements in a visual form and a fragmented structure made up of blue “Roman” style columns with rectangular roofs on them can also be seen. It’s a great combination of music and 3D animation in which the animation seems to express the musical elements in vision through the evolution and movement in the space but also adds a separate more independent layer of abstraction to the combination through the more alien yet also familiar looking organic rounded shapes. The images that came into my mind while listening to this first track without the music video were more into the territory of the aformention journey with this large ship. The music samples, especially the strings sound a lot like the overture of one of Wagner’s Der Ring Des Nibelungen operas and gives the music a quite meditative “infinity” type of ambience. Like the journey on the ship is long and slow but we are passing some gorgeous icy landscape, like traveling through Antarctica by ship. The clicking sounds, chain dangling and bell sounds draw you into the soundscape of the ship and are some wonderful touches to the piece and introduce the album in a great way. Next track Stormborn describes a storm at sea through a soundscape of water sounds, noise effects, low bass rumbles and a jumpy drum rhythm that’s very well composed as well as sound designed blending the mechanical sounds (representing the ship) with the hissy and liquid sounds that represent the storm itself forming an exciting mixture of kinetic rhythms and richly detailed soundscape elements, sounds very convincing like a storm too. Then on Breakwater we have chopped elements of a drone in the same key as Glacial Romance in the first half, but with a glassier filtered tone that’s mixed in between an abstract groove of stuttered time stretched and reverberated drum sounds and sound effects that hints at mechanical sounds of the ship. A great mechanical rhytmscape once again with some lush glassy synth tones at the end. Labor has got this “nocturnal view on a quiet ship” kind of vibe to it, with mechanical clicks, metallic clangs and rock like sounds forming a soundscape that sounds like machinery and clicking chains on the ship without the sound of sea in the background. It’s like the captain is very focused on his ship, listens to the mechanics, checking if there’s no odd sounds of broken machinery audible with his focused thoughts drowning out the sounds of the sea in the quiet night. Spiral expresses a memory fragment of a calm peaceful night on the ship in the night through a looped sound collage of manipulated music samples and mechanical sounds, making for a great mixture of fuzzy musical ambience and metallic machinery sounds. Granite (strain / tension) embraces metallic and digital sonics with a very glitchy chopped up mixture of mangled Footwork like grooves and Bass Music like resonant synth sounds that do also reference the ship again with their hollow decay. A very captivating composition of sound sculptures mixed with almost continuous grooves with a very inspired feeling for both execution and the form that these sounds are in shaped into. Silent Quarries sounds like a melancholic feeling getting expressed through resonances of the ships structure. Resonant vibrating metal surfaces shaping shifting tones and drones that conjure up a mysterious sense that the ship is alive, as a being of its own. The filtered tones in the first half of the piece also add an organic vocal quality to the textures created on the piece that creates this awesome feeling of both organic and metallic materials creating melodies of their own, deep into the night. On the short piece Tread Well, a catchy guitar melody is tinkling from what sounds like a frame of metal springs vibrating which moves into a low pitched mechanical sound, which leads directly into Cut From. Cut Form is a continuation of Tread Well in which you can hear all kinds of mysterious ghostly low shifting sounds as well as less processed sounding bits of a guitar melody which are combined with chops of acoustic drum sounds, clock sounds and various flying sound effects. The piece sounds a bit like you’re hearing the soundtrack of a moment in time when the captain of the ship is struggling to steer the ship in the right course and time goes by (the clock sounds) as he’s thinking and communicating with the outside world what to do in this uncertain situation when he’s unsure where he is anymore and where he is heading in this ice-cold dark nocturnal seascape. Leak is a great abstract Glitch piece that has some of the classic elements of the style, like several sections containing series of short phased impulse ticks but there are also much more metallic sounds and stuttered percussion loops in here too as well as pitch manipulated vocal samples. Overall the piece is a great glitchscape combined with some more rhythmic samples of chopped crystalline sound and synth outbursts. Then on Thrash we have a short piece consisting of resonant stuttered manipulated vocal music samples, like impulses of strange shiny metallic matter. Home of Depths moves quite deep into the nocturnal sea journey ambience and also features a more continuous rhythm and progression than the pieces before, moving into a more gradual type of evolution of the music. With a more subdued ambience the music gorgeously explores the icy seascape outside with distant drones, crystalized resonant tones, combined with some really catchy jumpy mechanical percussion rhythms. There’s also some more extreme dynamics in the piece with some percussion elements (like a laser like sound) spiking out at some points and the differences in distance between the percussion and drones and resonances in the background bring a great depth to the music, making this perfect music for nocturnal introspective deep listening. Final track Roguelike (perpetual light) starts off with a quite loud melodic richly textured ambience but afterwards moves into a mysterious deep ambience of hollow tones, reverberating mechanical sounds and a minimalist slow melodic pattern on glassy crystal synth. Various quirky synth effects also twirl around in the quiet nocturnal ambience. Quite eerie but also calming, this subdued but also richly detailed piece forms a great quiet ending to Isonautics that works as a great point of rest after the sometimes intense abstraction from the music before. Isonautics by Crown Shyness is an awesome album of imaginative deep and well composed and sound designed soundscapes and abstract experimental music. The album’s concept and especially the references to both the captain’s log about the concept of music as being objects of accumulated frequencies and the abstracted back story about the ship help to guide you into this album’s nocturnal journey through an icy seascape full of details, memories, mixed clusters of sound and musical elements blending into new sonic shapes. The album’s tight tracklist also helps as the 13 tracks playing after each other really smoothly flow from one into another bringing you to a variety of sonic pictures and keeping the album coherent as a whole. Combined with cceggyang and Aldéric Trével’s excellent music video for the track Glacial Romance I highly recommend you to check out this album. This is an especially great listen if you’re a fan of contemporary abstract electronic music that experiments with Club elements, if you like Glitch infused soundscapes or if you’re looking for a nicely varied experience of quality underground Electronic music that freely moves from abstract experiments to more recognisable melodic and rhythmic pieces. Highly recommended. Go check this out. The MP3 download released on QUANTUM NATIVES is available here: http://www.mediafire.com/file/srrbwu4irzs1ymi/Crown+Shyness+-+Isonautics+%28QNR024%29.zip?fbclid=IwAR0-43HBPS3ZFssTkTpqD7Hqz8to9g7sD1nHnJaLQWhHPYrkOvQ7Gx_ani0 Watch the video for Glacial Romance by cceggyang and Aldéric Trével here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=pgurUcMHEPA

[twoinchreview]

1985 Albums

Friday 20th March 2020.

On the way home from work (for the last time in a while I think, thanks Covid-19) Radio 2 played The Whole of the Moon by The Waterboys. I loved and love that song from their album, This is the Sea. I knew the album was released in 1985. It’s a year I won’t forget in a hurry for lots of reasons; the main, unbearably sad one is losing my mum, but, also, for other reasons that were not at all sad. The aforementioned album being one, another being another album - Kate Bush’s Hounds of Love. (Another was Knebworth opening its gates to music for the first time in a few years….what a gig that was!) So, did I listen to any other albums that year? I seriously couldn’t tell you, for certain, the name of any other album released in that year….with aging memory it seems to me my turntable’s time was equally divided by Mike Scott and Kate - six months apiece. I decided to check it out. A quick search on Google and the first hit I clicked was this one from the NME that lists 50 albums.

I decided to listen to each in turn, from its count of 50 down to 1. I posted a one line review on each on FB. Here are those one-liners below, with supplementary comments as and when.

50.  ABC, How to be a Zillionaire. I didn't learn that actual trick but I did learn to love Martin Fry's delivery once again.

49.  Sade, Promise. Smoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooth.

48.  Sheila E – Romance 1600. One I missed posting about of FB, probably because it was that forgettable. I can’t remember one track from it and it was only a couple of weeks ago!

47.  Alex Chilton, Feudalist Tarts. Who knew? Seriously never heard of him before!

46.  George Clinton, Some of My Best Jokes Are Friends. Funky. Another new one on me.

45. The Replacements, Tim. Never heard or heard of them b4 today. Shan't bother again!

44.  Run DMC, King of Rock. Dunno why I like this album, just do. It's like that and that's the way it is.

43.  Cameo, Single Life. I've already forgotten about it.

42.  New Order, Low Life. The first album on NME's 1985 list that properly rocks all thru. 

It’s a proper ‘of its time’ album and yet timeless. This gets the bold review ‘cos I would definitely take time out to listen to this again. First one of the NME list!

41.  Robert Wyatt, Old Rottenhat. Out there. A defo doob album.

40.  The Style Council, Our Favourite Shop. I recall this album & it's better than it was.  Weller has a voice that sometimes sounds like it’s going to break at the sterner test but then he carries it off. It adds to the originality.

39.  Sonic Youth, Bad Moon Rising. Proper industrial punk. I like it.

38.  Dexys Midnight Runners, Don't Stand Me Down. Not one track had I heard before. Fab.

I really enjoyed this. I like the fact it’s a real deviation from what I remember Dexys for - all denim and oddly-antifashion fashionable. This album showed real confidence in their own ability, quite rightly.

37.  Husker Du, New Day Rising. 'Salright.

36.  Bobby Womack, So Many Rivers. “Let Me Kiss You Where It Hurts.” 😂😂😂 Yep - the only thing I wanted to post about this album, having listened to it (like so many others, for the first time) was the name of one track which still, as I type, makes be chuckle like a school boy. Sorry Bobby.

35.  The Fall, This Nation's Saving Grace. I never really got The Fall. This album doesn't help. This post on FB attracted some comment - Ralph White (fellow Posh and music fan) was, I sensed, a little perplexed at my opinion. But, I can’t lie, the band, and Mark E Smith, just didn’t, and still don’t, do it for me. I’m too old and long in the tooth to persist. Sorry Ralph.

34.  Propaganda, A secret Wish. If you had to guess the time of this album's release from its sound, it couldn't be anything other than slap bang middle of the 80s. I mean it is sooooo eighties. It’s the sort of record that will be used for educational purposes - in history lessons.

33. Scritti Politti, Cupid & Psyche 85. I feel I should be more impressed than I am.

32.  The Pogues, Rum, Sodomy and the Lash. What an album, what a fucking album.

I listened to this while out walking and it really took me by surprise just how much I enjoyed it. Of course, I’d heard a lot of the songs before but, as a collection, along with the tracks new to me, it really stands out.  

31.  The Cure, Head on the Door. The Cure does easy listening.

30.  The Cult, Love. What's there not to love? No sudden death, just love.

Contains one of my favourite all time tracks. Can you guess?

29.  Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, The Firstborn is Dead. Interesting. Definitely a band you have to be in the right mood before the needle hits the record.

28.  David Sylvian, Alchemy: An Index Of Possibilities. Music to have acupuncture to.

By that, I mean it was very, very, very Japanese-y.

27.  Suzanne Vega, Suzanne Vega. Singer song writing by numbers.

To be perfectly blunt, I found it boring.

26.  The Smiths, Meat is Murder. The Smiths are an enigma to me. Good music, good musicians but, that condescension. Morrissey, Geldof, Thunberg....peas in a high & mighty pod.

All that being said a few days ago now, I’m sure I’ll listen to this (and maybe other a records of theirs) again. I fucking hate that it was that good.

25.  Bryan Ferry, Boys and Girls. Slick as you like. Is he the coolest man in music? I think he is.

24.  10000 Maniacs, The Wishing Chair. I can take this or leave it. When I posted this on FB there were a couple of posters encouraging me to try In My Tribe - it’s on as I type and it’s a little better.

23.  Whitney Houston, Whitney Houston. I like this debut album. What a voice she had!

22.  A-Ha, Hunting High and Low. Not bad song writing in a second language.

Nice enough album...but this band will always just be ‘nice’ and, memorable for a video, not much else. 

21.  Grace Jones, Slave to the Rhythm. A mess of an album.

Worst one on the list so far even if it has got David Gilmour playing on it.

20.  Simple Minds, Once Upon a Time. I always felt, & feel, this band are wannabes to U2's crown. Nice enough album though.

19.  The Colourfield, Virgins and Philistines. A gem of an album. 

Terry Hall reminds me of Bowie. So talented, so prolific.

18.  Everything but the Girl, Love not Money. Pleasant enough but won't be on repeat. 

17. Loose Ends, So Where Are You? Hmmmm, not quite Color Me Badd. Very Delia Smith. The Delia Smith comment was because I found this album was an embarrassment much like Delia that fateful night at Carrow Road. If you don’t know to what I am referring, Google it.

16. Killing Joke, Night Time. Great album, cracking band.

15. Tears for Fears, Songs from the Big Chair. A big collection of comfortably accomplished songs. 

The first album on the list I had definitely played, in its entirety, before...just not in 1985. 

14. Dire Straits, Brothers in Arms. By no means their best. Tbf, you’d have to go some to best a debut or 3rd or 4th albums of the quality Dire Straits had under their belt. And, a side note, I think probably the best name for a band, ever. 

13. The Sisters of Mercy, First and Last and Always. A moody, gothic masterpiece. I reckon the growling vocals are the stuff of genius and nightmares.  12.  Prince, Around the World In A Day. Prince is brilliant, this album isn't. Like a few on this list, the decade’s half-way point didn’t see his finest hour.

11. Felt, Ignite the Seven Canons. I've never heard of this band before, nor heard a single track from this album, until now. I like them, I like it.

And I reached the Top Ten....I found myself really looking forward to the next 6-7 hours of the supposed mid-80s finest.... 

10. The Jesus and The Mary Chain, Psychocandy. Mentally sweet. 

It is a great album by a seminal band but I didn’t really get on the band wagon back then, and I don’t have the time nor the inclination to now. That’s gonna piss some people off, I’m sure! 9. Microdisney, The Clock Comes Down The Stairs. Never heard of them before, probably never listen to them again.

This album left me feeling nothing. It’s the most nondescript one of the list thus far and I doubt that will change.

8. REM, Fables of Reconstruction. This band were good before they got massive. 

Fucking brilliant. I had never listened to this album before and it’s such a precursor - we all know how massive they became and one or two of their later albums were residence, for a time, in my CD player. I reckon this one could become a real favourite of mine. Not just of REM stuff but in general.

7.  Lloyd Cole & The Commotions, Easy Pieces. Easy listening and first rate easy listening, at that. 

‘Brand New Friend’ is the stand out track.   

6.  Prefab Sprout, Steve McQueen. I don’t switch the radio off if this band are played, but I never play them. This album doesn’t alter that.

5. Madness, Mad not Mad. Who'd thought the stalwart rude boys would be so innovative? Another cracker from this list. It really stood out for me, they way the band changed things up a notch with this record. I can imagine some long-time fans would have baulked at this at the time of release but now, 35 years on, it smacks of progression. I’ve just asked Alexa to play it as I’m typing. 

4.  Talking Heads, Little Creatures. A wonderful, totally original band and album. This album reminded me that I do not spend enough time listening to Talking Heads. 

3. The Waterboys, This Is the Sea. Marvellous. This is an album I know and love. So, here it is, one of the aforementioned two. It’s is still one of my favourite albums, definitely, but, just a little bit, the metaphors grate - there’s enough of the fuckers on this album - the sea, the moon, the spirit. But I will always love this album and I will revisit many more times, I wager (and hope).

2. Tom Waits, Rain Dogs. Not really a musical masterpiece, more a lyrical one.

I found this a unusual choice for number 2. That’s subjectivity for you, I’d have picked many others before this one for the runner’s up slot.

1. Kate Bush, Hounds of Love. One of my favourite ever albums. The best of 1985, maybe of the 80s, very close to of all time. It’s number 1 for the NME and it most certainly is for me.

So, I listened to all of these NME listed albums in turn and it was, in the main, an enjoyable musical journey

And I reminded myself that, in 1985, I did indeed only put two albums, that first saw the light of day in that year, on my turntable (Kate Bush and The Waterboys). Any other releases didn't get a look in. 

[isakthedragon]

A Dragon Sized Adventure Chapter 40

(Oh, @kaotickanine, how can I thank you!)

Chapter 40: Mind Your Mind

*As our heroes were walking to the next terrarium…*

Sonic asked Aku-Aku. "So, you are a great and mighty witch doctor?“

Aku-Aku: "Yes, that is I, Aku-Aku (I would like to note that his and Uka-Uka name should not have a hyphen, it’s just so Tumblr stops marking it in red.). My duty is to protect anyone who needs my guidance.”

Crash smiles. “I missed you, Aku-Aku!” Crash hugs his spiritual protector.

Aku-Aku smiles. "I see you have been doing fine without me, Crash.“

Knuckles: "Well, we did help him by letting him use our rings and Chaos Emeralds as protection in lieu of you.”

Aku-Aku: “Well, thank you, my children.”

Cream: “Mr. Aku-Aku. Most of us are over 6, you know.”

Aku-Aku: “Of course, but I see myself as a father figure for everyone, no matter what world they are in.” He looks at Sonic, Spyro, and all of their friends in a pleasing manner.

Shadow: “So, you are going to protect us?”

Aku-Aku: “Indeed. I bet you already broke plenty of crates with my face on them, but finding nothing inside. But fear not, I shall come and protect you now. I can at least offer enough protection to keep you from losing your rings.”

Spyro was still a little confused. “Who was that black mask we met?”

Aku-Aku: “Ah, that was my brother, Uka-Uka. He chose the dark side of witch doctoring as I took the light side. I locked him away eons ago, but Cortex accidentally awoke him again and Cortex attempts to work with my brother for world domination. Thankfully, they haven’t succeeded yet.”

Sonic: “Well, don’t worry, we’ll end their plan right now for good.”

*The door to the next Terrarium opens with a flash of white and reveals…*

Silver: “White space?”

Tails: ���That doesn’t make sense. We’re not in a place without time. My clocks are still working on my devices.”

*Our heroes walk a bit forward and another flash of light, much more darker, occurs.*

Sonic: “What the-”

N. Trance appears. “Well, well, well. If it isn’t those heroes that are giving Dr. Cortex and Dr. Eggman so much trouble.”

Once Sonic sees N. Trance, he laughs.

N. Trance: “What? What’s so funny?”

Sonic tries speaking between laughs: “… I’m sorry… I can’t take this… I thought ‘Eggman’ was too much… but this villain… he’s an ACTUAL EGG!!! I got so many egg puns!” *Sonic collapses on the floor laughing.*

Aku-Aku: “Uh-oh, I am worried he angered him…”

N. Trance, surprisingly, is unfazed. “Are you quite finished?”

Sonic is still laughing, but gets up. “Like, are you a well-rounded villain? *Sonic laughs* "Or are you too hard-boiled to handle my puns?!” *Sonic keeps laughing as the others groan in displeasure.*

N. Trance smiles: “Oh, I see. Well, I’ll tell you one thing, you aren’t cracking my shell, for sure.”

*Sonic stops laughing when he hears N. Trance make his pun.* “Huh?”

N. Trance: “That shut you up. Too bad your puns are useless to break me. I am Dr. N. Trance, master hypnotist from the 5th dimension.”

Spyro: “What the heck is a 5th Dimension?”

Tails: “Well, science suggests that-”

N. Trance: “Shut it, you two tailed fox!” *He uses his left mechanical arm, revealing a hypnotization device and uses it to hypnotise Tails, leaving him frozen for the moment.*

Sonic gets surprised and is angered to see his best friend hypnotized. “What the hell, you shelled freak?! Why did you hypnotize my friend?”

N. Trance: “Because no matter what you guys think you know, it is wrong! Besides, he was an easy target to start off on.”

Sonic: “What do you mean by that?”

*Sonic soon learned what he meant when N. Trance started hypnotizing anyone else he could. N. Trance had an easy time hypnotising Rouge, Espio, Charmy, Vector, Silver, Blaze, Spyro, Cynder, Sheila, Sgt. Byrd, Bentley, Agent 9, Coco, and Crunch as well.

Luckily, Sonic, Knuckles, Shadow, OMEGA, Amy, Cream, Big, Ember and Bandit, Hunter, Bianca, Crash, Aku-Aku, Pasadena and Von Clutch were able to avoid being hypnotized, but their minds were still probed for their memories.*

N. Trance: “Darn, I didn’t get all of you. No matter, I stole what I needed. Now SLEEP!” *He snaps his fingers, making everyone else fall asleep. He takes his hypnotized subjects and prepares his world…*

—–

Sonic is the one to wake up first. “Ugh… why do I feel like I have a hangover?”

*The others slowly wake up too.*

Stew: “I haven’t been this hungover since my bachelor party.”

Crash: “AH! Our friends! They’re gone!”

Aku-Aku: “Indeed. I think N. Trance took them.”

N. Trance’s voice is heard, but is nowhere to be seen. “Not exactly taken, more in a deep sleep. And if you want them back, you’re going to have to make it through my twisted world!”

Shadow: “Huh?”

*They look around, and the white area from before became a sort of dreamscape, the land separated into different sections for each individual and for any large amounts of memory N. Trance replicated. In the specific section for someone, their area had them floating in the center in a deep sleep. A button was in front of each of them. When it is pressed, the dreamer is sent deep into the dreamscape, having you search for the character.*

Sonic noticed the closest area was for Tails. “Ah! We got to help my little buddy!” *Sonic presses the button and entered the dream. Knuckles just so happened to be next and jumped in to help to as a friend...*

—–

Level 71: Tails’ Adventure

Crates: 133

Time Trial

Sapphire: 1:30.00

Gold: 1:25.00

Platinum: 1:20.00

Tappers to Save: 5

Friends: Sonic and Knuckles

Badniks: WWI and WWII Lab Assistant Pawns: They fly their planes and bombers around the level. They’re more aiming at each other and at random places, but you should still watch the skies. Cluckoids: They sure can blow up a storm!

Mutants: Thun-dars: Strange, black clouds that hover around, looking for targets to shock with a lightning bolt. Tapper: A Tapir + Ripper Roo hybrid with the power of hypnotism. I think N. Trance has been watching a bit too much anime since it has a lovely yellow sheen like a certain Pokemon. Instead of a pocket watch, it uses its swirling eyes similar to Ripper Roo to hypnotize it’s victims. It also looks like Ripper Roo, but only has a bit of his DNA, while also having some Tapir characteristics. Be careful not to let it hypnotize you, otherwise it will make you walk into the nearest trap to damage you. Although, I bet it might be useful to turn that power around on the enemies… NOTE: Watch out for their Tapir trunks! Should they connect onto anyone, it will instantly kill the victim since their mind is sucked away here in this dreamscape. But controlling the Tapper will let you do the same insta-kill to the enemies too.

Knuckles: “Where are we, Sonic?”

Sonic: “Looks like we are in Tails’ mind, considering the planes flying around.”

Knuckles: “So our friend is in here, somewhere.”

Sonic: “And we have to wake him up. I don’t trust whatever that N. Trance did.”

Knuckles: “Right.”

Kaotickanine says: A technological paradise taking place on tropical islands and in the sky. On the islands, technology works in harmony with nature (think Sonic CD’s Good Future) while the sky is filled with old-fashioned planes of all kinds soaring through the clouds. However, N. Trance’s influence is causing parts of Tails’ dream to resemble Eggman’s dreams, with harmful technology polluting the islands, war planes firing at others and dropping bombs, and a few storm clouds striking lightning.

The only thing I have to add is that Tails can be found asleep in a bed at the end of the island chain.

Sonic: “Tails!” *He hurries to him, with Knuckles in tow.*

Knuckles: “How do we wake him up?”

Sonic: “I’m not sure…” *The only thing Sonic had in mind was to touch Tails’ forehead. Luckily, it woke up the sleeping kitsune.*

Tails: “Huh? Oh, hey, Sonic, Knuckles. What happened? Last I remember is N. Trance knocking us out.”

Sonic: “He placed you in this dreamlike world that is most likely made from your mind.”

Tails: “Hmm, sounds right. Well, no time for resting, I got to help out!”

*Tails get out of bed and leaves the level with Sonic and Knuckles.*

Achievement Unlocked: Believe in Myself

—–

Level 72: Rouge’s Night Out

Crates: 147

Time Trial

Sapphire: 1:35.00

Gold: 1:30.00

Platinum: 1:25.00

Tappers to Save: 5

Friends: Shadow And Omega

Badniks: Spy Lab Assistant Pawns: They carry various gizmos and guns that they fire upon you with almost laser-like precision. Thief Lab Assistant Pawns: They carry around big bags of loot that they swing around like clubs.

Mutants: Jewel-anhas: Various colored and types of gems that have gained a sentience and a thirst for blood. Best to attack these things from a distance.

*Shadow and Omega enter the dream world.*

OMEGA: “ACCESSING LOCATION FILES… … … LOCATION UNKNOWN! CLOSEST MATCH IS CLUB ROUGE”

Shadow: “I think that is right, Omega, but i think this her imagined version of it. I don’t trust this place since it looks so similar. We better find Rouge.”

Kaotickanine notes: We’re inside the mental version of Rouge’s own casino, Club Rouge! Rouge’s dream is almost identical to the actual place, but instead of money or even gold everyone is gambling for jewels and there are a few “twists” as to be expected in a dream. Rouge’s other lifestyles seem to also be seeping in, with spies and thieves comprising all the people, and they’re none too friendly of each other or you. N. Trance’s influence, however, is causing a lot of the gems to actually be hostile monsters that attack like hungry piranhas. Be careful when jumping over a pit filled with jewels, for they will jump up and try to drag you down with them…

Rouge can be found at the back of the safe area, hanging from a bar, asleep.

OMEGA sees Rouge with his targeting system. “TARGET LOCATED! ROUGE HAS BEEN FOUND!”

Shadow: “Hmm, but she is sleeping…”

OMEGA: “PERHAPS A LOUD NOISE WILL WAKE HER UP?”

Shadow: “No, I remember she said she hates loud noises. Hmmm…” *The only thing to come to Shadow’s mind was to pet her head. She wakes up quick.*

Rouge: “Mmm… hey boys. Feels like it’s been a while.”

Shadow: “We better get you out of here, Rouge. N. Trance has made-”

Rouge cuts him off. “Why leave? I’m surrounded by jewels! Who cares about N. Trance?”

OMEGA: “THE JEWELS HERE HAVE BEEN TRYING TO KILL US!”

Rouge gets angry. “WHAT!!!!!! NO ONE MESSES WITH JEWELRY!!! I’m going to personally kick that shell’s ass!”

*She leaves her perch and the trio leaves.*

Achievement Unlocked: Fly in the Freedom

—–

Level 73: Espio’s Ninja Training

Crates: 151

Time Trial

Sapphire: 1:40.00

Gold: 1:35.00

Platinum: 1:30.00

Tappers to Save: 5

Friends: Sonic and Cream

Badniks: Yakuza Lab Assistant Pawns: They fire their tommy guns in a sweeping motion across the ground and air, so watch how they are firing their gun. Ninja Lab Assistant Pawns: They appear out of nowhere, throw a ninja star or 3, then disappear after a few seconds and appear elsewhere.

Mutants: Oni: Various Yōkai creatures that seem hungry… for you.

*Sonic and Cream enter the world…*

Sonic gets a teardrop on his face from confusion. “Huh? What’s this place? Feels like old-timey Japan.”

Cream has the happy anime face. “Sound right, Sonic. I heard that Espio really loves anime a whole bunch!”

Sonic: “I see… that’s why I feel like paper and ink. Heh.”

Cream: “Espio ought to be around here somewhere for meditation. Let’s search the city and forest.”

Kaotickanine mentions: Espio’s dream resembles a combination of an anime taking place in the woods and a city noir film, with Japanese style dojos scattered around. Gun toting mafia goons serve as the more outward enemies while ninjas serve as the hidden type, hiding in the shadows waiting for the kill. N. Trance’s influence has also caused sinister Oni to appear and wreck things. Think you can restore harmony to Espio’s turmoiled mind?

Espio can be found on a tree stump in the forest, meditating…

Sonic dons the classic anime pointing look. “Hey! There’s Espio!”

*They walk towards him, but he is meditating on the stump. It may not look like it, but he is doing it against his will.*

Cream notices something. “Hey, Sonic! I think he is chained by literal chains around him, *The chains become visible.* and they are keeping him in the meditative state!”

Sonic: “Hmmm, how do we wake him?”

Cream giggles. “How about a Super Sonic Spin-Dash Overdrive?!” *A japanese translation appears.*

Sonic smiles. “Smart kid. Well, here goes: ‘SUPER SONIC SPIN-DASH OVERDRIVE!!!!’ ” *Sonic revs up his aerial spin-dash and tears through all the chains. They break and fall to the ground and Espio wakes up.*

Espio has the surprised anime face. “Huh? What happened?”

Cream: “You were chained up here in your dreams.”

Espio: “Oh. I see my ninja training has failed me.”

Sonic: “Meh. I think N. Trance cheated really. I don’t think they teach ninjas about hypnotism.”

Espio: “True… Thanks for saving me Sonic and Cream.”

Sonic: “Of course.” *They leave the world.*

Achievement Unlocked: Annie, Are Yōkai?

—–

Level 74: Charmy’s Hive

Crates: 157

Time Trial

Sapphire: 1:40.00

Gold: 1:35.00

Platinum: 1:30.00

Tappers to Save: 5

Friends: Sonic and Espio

Badniks: Buzz-Bombers: Simple badnik, simple destruction Buzzer: How appropriate.

Beasts: Wasps: Angry little buzzers, aren’t they?

Sonic: “Hmm, so this is Charmy’s mind?” *The world definitely looks abstract and crazy.*

Espio: “Oh, my… I never realized this is what goes on in Charmy’s head. I thought it was because he was a kid…”

Sonic: “Well, let’s do right, and find Charmy.”

Kaotickanine says: A massive beehive oozing with honey and has flowers and all sorts of fun stuff scattered all over, such as roller coasters. What do you expect from someone as fun-loving and scatterbrained as Charmy? This place is normally harmless, but N. Trance has caused huge wasps to invade this hive, stealing the honey and the flowers, wrecking the fun stuff, and aiming their very pointy stingers at you!

Charmy can be found at the end of the last roller coaster, on top of a flower.

Sonic spots the bee first. “There’s Charmy!” *They hurry to him.*

Espio: “Oh, Charmy…” *He hugs the bee and this wakes up Charmy.*

Charmy: ♪ “Oh… oh! Hi, guys!” ♫

Espio: “Charmy! You’re okay!” *He hugs him more.*

Charmy: ♪ “Aw, thanks, Espio.” ♫

Sonic: “Come on, let’s leave before the wasps come back.” *They leave the honeycomb.*

Achievement Unlocked: You Better Bee-have

—–

Level 75: Vector’s Swamp

Crates: 147

Time Trial

Sapphire: 1:35.00

Gold: 1:30.00

Platinum: 1:25.00

Tappers to Save: 5

Friends: Espio and Charmy

Badniks: Mafia Lab Assistant Pawns: They Mafia here seems to love firing rifles at you, so keep moving to avoid those bullets. Bard Lab Assistant Pawns: They play music so terribly that they can make physical sharp notes appear and send them flying your way. There are a few others though that may try to hit you with their instruments instead.

Beasts: Crocodiles: They may be Vector’s friends and family, but they don’t know it and are always hungry for an easy meal.

Mutants: Fi-ras: Strange beings that are made of pure fire that walk around trying to burn someone. Too bad that they are idiotic enough to put themselves out if they run into the water.

*Espio and Charmy land in the dark part of the swamp.*

Espio: “Hmmm, Vector’s home, I assume?”

Charmy: ♪ “I think so! Let’s go find our croc! Whee!” ♫

Kaotickanine says: It seems Vector is dreaming of his original home; a bubbly, disgusting swamp. However, for very odd reasons, a huge band concert is occurring and tons of music lovers have gathered, oblivious to the many dangers present in this swamp. And not only that, but Mafia goons have also arrived for some agenda only Vector knows about. And just to make things even more complicated, N. Trance has caused a few fires and horrible musicians to pop up, causing even more danger and threatening to ruin the party!

Vector can be found a part of the big band in the big gazebo.

*Vector is singing about something…*

Espio: “Sounds like he’s been singing for a while.”

*Charmy quickly grabs the snare drums and does a drumroll to awaken Vector.*

Vector: “Huh? What? Why am I here?”

Charmy: ♪ ”We’re in your home, Vector! In your dreams! We came to save you!” ♫

Vector: “Oh! Right, that N. Trance. Thanks for saving me.”

Espio: “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

Achievement Unlocked: Team Chaotix!

—–

Level 76: Silver’s Future Imperfect

Crates: 163

Time Trial

Sapphire: 1:45.00

Gold: 1:40.00

Platinum: 1:35.00

Tappers to Save: 5

Friends: Shadow and Big

Badniks: Police Lab Assistant Pawns: Sporting a more futuristic look, they still will either fire their pistol lasers at you or swinging their lightsaber clubs at you.

Machines: Security Cameras: They observe area with visible line of sight, that, if entered, will shock you.

Mutants: Iblis: It’s more aiming to tear down the city, but you should still watch out for its fists punching about. Iblis Monsters: The various Biters, Golems, Takers and Worms return, but they aren’t hard to defeat still.

Shadow: “Hmm, I know this is Silver’s dreams...”

Big: “But it feels too good to be true?”

Shadow: “Yep. So you had the same idea, Big.”

Big: “Yeah, we better watch out.”

Kaotickanine says: Ah, the future! An idealistic utopia of all sorts of convenient high-tech, like hovercars, and everything shines like silver (pun intended). Although, this future seems a little too perfect, even for a dream, and it seems Silver’s mind is aware of that as there are security cameras all over and robotic police that are very brutal with upholding the law… And now N. Trance is resurfacing Silver’s memories of the horrible futures he once came from, where Iblis and the Ifrit turned everything into a flaming wasteland, what with lava sprouting from underneath and spawning fire demons!

Silver can be found near the outskirts of the city, being held in a similar way that Shadow was once in (In ‘06).

Big: “Hmm, there’s Silver, but how do we save him?”

Shadow: “Hmm… break those things holding his body?”

*Big uses Shadow as a baseball and swings him into the devices. They break and release and awaken Silver.*

Silver: “Huh? Where am I?”

Shadow: “We assumed your dreams, as it has been so far.”

SIlver looks around. “I… don’t know, this place feels a little exaggerated. I’m not this paranoid.”

Big: “I doubt N. Trances worlds are accurately telling the truth... or at least, the right truth. EIther way, let’s get out of here. We need to save your friend.”

Silver: “Blaze! I got to save her!” *They leave the world.*

Achievement Unlocked: Welcome to the Future!

—–

Level 77: Blaze’s Sol

Crates: 172

Time Trial

Sapphire: 1:50.00

Gold: 1:45.00

Platinum: 1:40.00

Tappers to Save: 5

Friends: Crash and Silver

Badniks: Pirate Lab Assistant Pawns: They carry about muskets and sabers to attempt to harm you,

Mutants: Iblis: He’s still attacking you, but all his fiery attacks are making at least rocky pathways to the next islands. Iblis Monsters

Silver: “Mm, it’s Blaze’s world. It may be new to me, but I will still find her!”

Crash: “That’s the spirit!”

Kaotickanine notes: At last, we move on to Blaze’s mind, which manifests as the endless ocean that is the Sol Dimension. However, due to her duty as Guardian of the Sol Emeralds, numerous small islands of stone pillars and jewels are all over the place, and the sun appears much closer than it should be. As you might expect, you’ll be running into pirates (ROBOT pirates) and, just like with Silver, N. Trance is resurfacing memories of Iblis, causing small volcanoes to sprout all over the place and summon fire demons…

Blaze is laying on an island far in, covered in flames, save for a path to her.

Silver: “Blaze!” *He hurries to her.*

Crash: “How do we wake her up… and avoid being burned?”

*Silver can only think of one thing… and kisses Blaze on the cheek. The flames disappear into her, and she wakes up.*

Blaze: “Huh? Silver?”

Silver was blushing a bit. “Good… you’re awake.”

Blaze teases. “Was I the princess you expected?”

*Silver blushes red, clearly suggesting his feelings.*

Crash: “Not to break up any love or anything, but we need to save more people. Can we move out now?”

Blaze smiles “Well, I’m ready to go. But I am a little worried about loverhog here.” *Silver blushes even redder as they leave.*

Achievement Unlocked: Robot Pirate Island

—–

Level 78: Spyro’s Accidental Darkness

Crates: 157

Time Trial

Sapphire: 1:40.00

Gold: 1:35.00

Platinum: 1:30.00

Tappers to Save: 5

Friends: Shadow and Amy

Badniks: Ape Soldiers, Leaders and Commanders: The memories of Malefor’s Ape army were retooled by N. Trance to a more badnik appearance. But don’t let the badnik look fool you; they still have their dangerous claws and explosives to hurt you hard! Hell-Hounds: Those strange dogs from Spyro’s memories may have been turned into badniks, but they still have a dangerous and harmful bite.

*Shadow and Amy land outside the front door into the Well of Souls’ halls.*

Amy: “Oh, my! What is this place? This is not the kind of images i would expect to see in his mind. He looked so cheerful…”

Shadow: “Hmm, if I had to guess, N. Trance has grabbed some of the Dragon’s darker memories and made this dark and desolate place.”

Amy: “Oh, my! We should hurry and find him then!”

Spyro’s mind world is quite a drop in cheerfulness from the others, almost like it was filled with darkness. And that’s the best way to describe the place since it seems to be N. Trance’s version of the Well of Souls. Roboticized apes and bandik hell-hounds patrol the dark and dangerous halls that would house Malefor underneath. Can you fight your way through and rescue Spyro, who is close to the well, before the darkness consumes him?

Amy: “Look! There’s Spyro! Near that hole!” *Amy starts walking forward, but Shadow grabs her arm and holds her back.*

Shadow: “No! Don’t get close to him, Amy!”

Amy: “Huh, why not?”

Shadow: “Don’t you feel it, a dark presence…”

Amy focuses a bit. “Oh, yeah. And I can see that Spyro seems to be sucking the darkness from the well. But how do we save him then?”

Shadow: “Let me grab him. I think we need to get him out of here.”

Amy: “Alright, but be careful.”

Shadow: “Hmph, don’t worry, I should be fine.” *Shadow goes and grabs Spyro and gets him away from the well.*

Amy: “He still hasn’t woken up. Did he take too much darkness?”

Shadow: “I think i have an idea, but we need to go save that darker dragon.” *Shadow and Amy carry Spyro out of the world and set him down outside as they go for Cynder next… *

Achievement Unlocked: Our Hero Takes A Rest.

—–

Level 79: Cynder’s Lonely Heart

Crates: 189

Time Trial

Sapphire: 2:05.00

Gold: 2:00.00

Platinum: 1:55.00

Tappers to Save: 5

Friends: Shadow and Amy

*When Shadow and Amy enter, they find a magical chain has bound them together, preventing them from separating too far away.*

Amy “We’ve been chained together, Shadow.”

Shadow: “I bet it’s from her dark memories too. N. Trance thought it would hinder us.”

Amy: “Well, let’s show him how wrong he was and find Cynder.”

Cynder’s memories do not seem much better than Spyro’s. Her’s are dark and quiet, nary an enemy to be found. Her dreamscapes seems to be made of parts of her domain, Convexity, the Fellmuth Arena ship and the deeper areas of the Well of Souls. This place is more of a platforming challenge, but you must succeed if you want to save Cynder, who is also near to the Well of Souls. Hurry and save her before it is too late!

Amy gasps “It’s Cynder! And it looks as though she is too near to the hole too! We better get her away quick!!”

*Shadow goes and grabs Cynder and they escape the dream world. He goes and places Cynder next to Spyro. It seems to have worked because placing them together awakens both of them.*

Amy: “Yay! They’re waking up!”

Spyro: “Huh? W-what happened?”

Shadow: “N. Trance left you guys in your darkest memories.”

Cynder: “H-he did?” *She clearly didn’t look happy at all.*

Spyro: “It’s alright, Cynder. Our friends saved us.” *He gives her a kiss on the snout which eliminates her anger.*

Cynder: “Thanks.” *She gets up.* “Alright, no more lazing about. Let’s help out.”

Spyro gets up too. “Right.”

Achievement Unlocked: Dragon Love

—–

Level 80: Sheila’s Alps

Crates: 136

Time Trial

Sapphire: 1:40.00

Gold: 1:35.00

Platinum: 1:30.00

Tappers to Save: 5

Friends: Spyro and Cynder

Badniks: Pickaxe Rhybots: If they spot you, they will attempt to attack you with their pickaxe. Moose-bot: They try to charge and run over you.

Spyro: “I see we are in Sheila's mind and it looks like her home.”

Cynder: “I hope we can find her.”

Thankfully, Spyro’s friends have dreamscapes that a ton less on the dark side. We visit the mind of Sheila, which appears to be her home in the alps with those prankster billy goats. I bet if you help them out by breaking the rocks and defeating the ‘rhynocs’ and ‘moose’, they will lead you to the kangaroo.

Spyro: “Sheila!” *They find her sleeping near the mountain top.*

Cynder: “How do we wake her?”

*Spyro immediately sends one of the billy goats flying of the mountain with a headbutt. It woke Sheila.*

Sheila: “Wha- what happened?”

Cynder: “You were asleep because of N. Trance.”

Sheila: “Mm, that little egg-shaped freak, huh? Well, thanks for waking me. Come on, let’s go!” *The 3 leave.*

Achievement Unlocked: Up on the Mountaintop

—–

Level 81: Sgt. Byrd’s Base

Crates: 129

Time Trial

Sapphire: 1:40.00

Gold: 1:35.00

Platinum: 1:30.00

Tappers to Save: 5

Friends: Sheila and Cynder

Badniks: Flowerpot-throwing Rhybots: Gardening has never been so dangerous. Net-Swinging Rhybots: Be vewy quiet, we’re hunting dragons. Tranquilizer-Shooting Rhybots: Nighty night.

Sheila: “I see we are in the base of Sgt Byrd. He’s nice.”

Cynder: “Indeed. Let’s go find him!”

N. Trance has worked his magic to create his version of Sgt Byrd’s Base. He’s made it more like army barracks, with close walls and ceilings, making the rhybots more dangerous than usual. You have to fight your way through to reach Sgt. Byrd.

Sheila: “Look! There’s Sgt. Byrd!” *They go down to him.*

Cynder: “He’s in a cage. How do we get him out?”

*Sheila uses her powerful kick to break down the door, which wakes up Sgt. Byrd*

Sgt. Byrd: “Huh?! Oh! Hello, Spyro’s friends Cynder and Sheila. Golly, what am I doing here?”

Cynder: “N. Trance left you in your dreamscape. We came and rescued you.”

Sgt. Byrd: “Well, thanks for the rescue. No time to dawdle, misses, we got more POWs to save!” *The 3 of them leave.*

Achievement Unlocked: Forward! March!

—–

Level 82: Bentley’s Outpost

Crates: 141

Time Trial

Sapphire: 1:40.00

Gold: 1:35.00

Platinum: 1:30.00

Tappers to Save: 5

Friends: Spyro and Sgt. Byrd

Badniks: Torch-Carrying Rhybots: hey really have a wanting to burn your ass, huh? I wonder if they are hungry… Seal-bots: These seals are much too dangerous for a circus act. Mind their fastballs!

*Spyro and Sgt. Byrd find themselves at the base of a mountain when a familiar face comes running up.*

Bartholomew pants heavily. “I... I… I…”

Spyro: “Calm down, Bartholomew, and tell us what’s up?”

Bartholomew: “I… I found Bentley at the top of the mountain sleeping but was chased off by the rhynocs… Can you help me save him?”

Sgt. Byrd: “Of course we will, little yeti. My rockets should easily take those rhynocs, and anything else we find, out.”

Since when did mountain climbing get so dangerous? N. Trance has not made it easy to ascend the mountain, what with all the bouncing giant snowballs about. He’s even made the seals and the rhynocs more deranged! Can you make it to the top with Bartholomew in tow without getting squished?

*Once the 3 reach the top.*

Bartholomew: “Thanks lads for getting us to the mountaintop! Let’s go wake Bentley.”

Spyro: “Right!”

*They walk up to the sleeping Bentley. It appears helping out Bartholomew wakes Bentley from his slumber as he wakes up as soon as they get close.*

Bentley yawns. “Ah! Mmm, such an exquisite slumber! I feel well rested.”

Spyro: “Good! Cause we need to hurry on and help out the others.”

Bentley: “Indeed we do, young dragon Spyro. Let’s leave!”

*The trio leaves, as the memory of Bartholomew goes into slumber.*

Achievement Unlocked: Deadly Seals

—–

Level 83: Agent 9’s Lab

Crates: 132

Time Trial

Sapphire: 1:40.00

Gold: 1:35.00

Platinum: 1:30.00

Tappers to Save: 5

Friends: Bentley and Tails

Badniks: Laser-Shooting Rhybots: They’ll fire a shot off and on to try and zap you. There are also armor wearing ones that need to be crushed by Bentley’s club to defeat them. Bird-bots: They hang around in their nests until you get close, which evokes a dive-bomb attack from them. It’s better keep moving to avoid it and attack them as they return.

*Bentley and Tails enter the dream world.*

Tails: “So this is Agent 9’s mind, huh? Feels quite happy what with the beachy theme.”

Bentley: “All the more reason to be cautious where we step.”

Don’t let the happy beach theme fool you, this is still a dangerous area made by N. Trance! The lab is overrun with those rhynocs and there is a whole lot of fighting to do if you want to go save Agent 9.

*Tails and Bentley approach Agent 9, who is sleeping on the beach.*

Tails: “How do we wake him up?”

Bentley: “I’m unsure. Spyro told me to pronounce: ‘There’s a rhynoc in the bushes!’ “

*Hearing this makes Agent 9’s eyelids fly open.* “Did somebody mention a rhynoc?! I heard about some rhynocs!-” *Sees Bentley and Tails and calms down.* “Oh, hey, Tails, Bentley.”

Tails: “Phew! He’s awake.”

Agent 9: “Why so worried? I feel fine! Oh! That’s right! That N. Trance freak! Let’s go and fry him!” *He bounces away and Bentley and Tails follow him out of the dream.*

Achievement Unlocked: Crazy Monkey Action Figure

—–

Level 84: Gone a Bit Coco

Crates: 119

Time Trial

Sapphire: 1:20.00

Gold: 1:15.00

Platinum: 1:10.00

Tappers to Save: 5

Friends: Crash and Amy

Badniks: Teddy-bots: Teddy bear toys that look cute but will immediately try to bite and claw you when you get close. Candy: This Candy sure isn't sweet at all, since it wants to eat you!

*Crash and Amy find themselves in Coco’s mental laboratory.*

Amy: “Your sister’s lab sure looks sweet, Crash! And that’s including the pancakes!”

Crash: “PANCAKES!!!” *He goes to lick one of the stacks and touches the butter, which makes him wince in pain.* “Yow! Acidic butter! That’s not tasty at all!”

Amy: “I bet N. Trance had something to do with it, and I don’t trust those dancing bears and candy too. Darn you, N. Trance! You don’t mess with good stuff!”

Crash: “Yeah! We better go find Coco!”

Kaotickanine says: It appears N. Trance has messed with the good mind that is Coco. Much like Tails’ dream, it’s a technological paradise, though this one manifests as a giant laboratory underground, giant computer screens featuring cute things bouncing and dancing. However, this techno-paradise is also interspersed with all sorts of things Coco enjoys, such as teddy bears, candy, and PANCAKES!!! However, the candy and teddy bears are out for blood and want to eat you! Also the syrup and butter on the pancakes are acidic (the pancakes themselves are fine, thankfully)

*Crash and Amy find Coco deep in her laboratory, running around between computers and typing stuff.*

Amy looks at what she’s typing. “Is it just me, or is what she coding ruining her dreamscape? I swear I keep seeing her typing things that are causing damage to them.”

Crash: “You’re right, Amy! Coco, stop!”

*He goes and stands in front of her, which doesn’t stop her. But when he grabs her arm, she breaks out of her trance.*

Coco: “Huh? Oh! Hey, Crash! And Amy. What are you guys doing here?”

Amy: “We came into your dreams to find you, and we find you here destroying your mindscape!”

Crash: “And you were making pancakes terrible!!!” *Crash sobs.*

Coco: “What?! No one can make pancakes terrible! Let’s move it, guys, cause N. Trance is about to not become a side of this breakfast!” *The trio leave.*  

Achievement Unlocked: A Pastel-Colored Horrorland

—–

Level 85: Crunch’s Gym

Crates: 195

Time Trial

Sapphire: 2:20.00

Gold: 2:15.00

Platinum: 2:10.00

Tappers to Save: 5

Friends: Crash and Silver

Mutants: Tiger Bodybuilders: They’re usually lifting weights of massive sizes. If you get close, they won’t hesitate to swing them around like a ballet dancer pole. Bear Boxers: They’re punching those punching bags hard enough to swing them back and forth widely, so you want to watch where you walk. Lion, Wolf and Dragon Fighters: They are a flurry of attacks all around at each other, and are certainly very dangerous if they spot you. I would suggest running away unless you can find some way to defeat them.

*Crash and Silver enter the gym and find the unconscious Crunch in the middle of the floor.*

Crash: “CRUNCH!!!” *He tries to run to him, but shields form around Crunch’s sleeping body.*

Silver: “It’s no use. He seems to be protected by those shields. We need to find some way to disarm them.”

Crash looks and sees the Elemental Masks at the end of the 4 halls. “I think I know who’s making those shields.”

Kaotickanine says: We all knew Crunch likes to work out, so it’s no surprise that his dream is a giant gym, filled with all sorts of muscle builders! Unfortunately, unlike Crunch himself, these muscle builders aren’t the welcoming type and they are all too willing to use the gym equipment to take you out. And if that wasn’t enough, N. Trance is causing the Elementals to manifest in Crunch’s mind, turning parts of the gym into hazards befitting their respective elements and empowering the muscle builders!

Indeed N. Trance did, he split the gym into 4 sections: One for Rocko, one for Wa-Wa, one for Pyro, and one for Lo-Lo. Other than giving protective barriers to the fighters, they have also the transformed the gym in their areas. Rocko has plenty of rolling rocks and boulders lying about, Wa-Wa’s is filled with water so that means it’s time for swimming, Lo-Lo’s has tornados and wind blowing about, and Pyro has fire burning everywhere. You need to make it to the end of the section and beat the masks until they disappear, taking away their elemental shield that is around Crunch.

*Once the 4th one is broken and Crash and Silver return, Crunch wakes up.*

Crash: “Crunch! You’re awake now!” *He goes and hugs Crunch.*

Crunch: “Aw, hey, Crash.” *Yawn* “I feel well rested.”

Silver: “Good, that means we can go and deal with whatever else N. Trance has for us.”

Crunch: “Yeah. Let’s go smash that egg.” *The trio leave*

Achievement Unlocked: Train Your Brain

—–

*N Trance appears as a hologram in the main area.*

N. Trance: “Well, well, so you saved all your friends, eh? Well, you still got a long way to go to fight me! See if you can handle levels made by me mangling your memories!” *He laughs and disappears and unlocks a new path.*

-----

Level 86: N. Trance’s MotorWorld

Crates: 104

Time Trial

Sapphire: 3:30.00

Gold: 3:25.00

Platinum: 3:20.00

Tappers to Save: 5

Friends: Pasadena and Von Clutch and Crash

Kaotickanine notes: N. Trance has combined the memories of Pasadena and Von Clutch with Crash’s, creating a mindscape that mostly resembles Von Clutch’s park but with desert roads and large pools of water from Crash’s moments where he had to race Cortex’s goons in vehicles or water ski while chased by a shark. Goes without saying that you’re going to be doing a LOT of driving and riding, all while contending with the combined obstacles of Von Clutch’s park and the hazards from Crash’s experience.

Achievement Unlocked: Sister C’rashin’

—–

Level 87: Darkness Strikes Innocence

Crates: 184

Time Trial

Sapphire: 2:05.00

Gold: 2:00.00

Platinum: 1:55.00

Tappers to Save: 5

Friends: Shadow and Cream

Badniks: GUN Troop Lab Assistant Pawns: They may be acting ‘good’ by attacking the Artificial Chaos and Black Arms, but they are still on a mission to destroy Shadow too.

Mutants: Artificial Chaos: Watch out for the water tendrils, ouch! Black Arms: Various sized aliens that are out to kill Shadow, mostly because of betrayal.

*Shadow and Cream find themselves outside of Cream’s home. Vanilla, Chocola, quite a few Chao, and even Maria sit in front of the house.*

Cream: “Heh he, it’s home, sweet, home! There’s Mama, Chocola, and our other Chao friends!”

*Vanilla, Chocola and the Chao, and Maria wave at Cream and Shadow, who then wave back*

Shadow smiles. “Indeed, quite a happy place. It sure is- Wait, Maria!? But how is she-” *He remembers where they are.* “Oh, no.”

Cream: “What is it? Is something the matter?” *She remembers too.* “Oh… N. Trance is going to do something terrible to our memories, isn’t he?”

*On cue, a dark portal opens up in the far distance and out comes the army of Black Doom, the Black Arms. Also dispersed in their ranks is Artificial Chaos. From down the nearby road in the other direction, the distinct coloring of GUN trucks come rolling past.*

Vanilla: “Oh my! What’s going on here!?”

Maria: “Shadow, I don’t like the look of this… You’ll help us, right?”

*Suddenly, a huge beam of energy shoots down from the sky and blasts Cream’s house, destroying it and causing Vanilla, the Chao, and Maria to be knocked forward from the shockwave. Cream gasps and tears form in her eyes*

Cream and Shadow: “NO!!!”

*The three loved ones, dazed by the explosion, try to get up from the ground, but they are lifted into the air. Then a familiar enemy of Shadow’s materializes behind them: Black Doom.*

Black Doom: “Hello, Shadow!”

Shadow: “DOOM!!! How dare you show you haunt my mind again!”

Cream: “PUT DOWN MOMMY, THE CHAO, AND MARIA RIGHT NOW!!!”

Black Doom: “Hahahaha! You should thank that egg-shaped entity for restoring me, even if only in your memory! I may not be able to destroy your world, but I WILL shatter your mind and drag this innocent child with you! You want your family back so much, you pathetic bunny and hedgehog?! GO FIND THEM!!” *He raises a hand and sends Vanilla, the Chao, and Maria in different directions. Once he was done, he disappeared. Cream then breaks down, sobbing.*

Cream: “My home… *Sniff* My family… *Sob* And Maria… This can’t be happening…”

Shadow places a sympathetic hand on Cream’s head. “Calm down , Cream. Remember, these are just our memories. Your home and family are perfectly alright. And Maria… Point is, there’s nothing to be tearful about.”

Cream calms down. “O-oh yeah… It felt so real...”

Shadow: “Hm, well now that I think about it, all this is taking place in our minds. And an attack on our memories… Even if they’re memories, we best hurry and save our loved ones before they are killed! I’m not going to allow my memories of Maria to die nor will I let yours perish as well!”

Cream: “Right! I’ll help you the best I can, Mr. Shadow!”

Kaotickanine says: N. Trance has revived Black Doom from Shadow’s memories and now that demon of an alien is savaging both his and Cream’s minds by attacking Cream’s home, flower field, and Chao Garden with Artificial Chaos, GUN Troops, and Black Arms, and hiding with Vanilla, Chocola and the Chao, and Maria around the area with the hostiles! You must quickly find these three and rescue them before they meet their doom! Even if they are merely memories, Shadow and especially Cream’s minds will be shattered should their loved ones die…

*Once they find them all and return back to the destroyed home, Black Doom appears.*

Black Doom: “So, the pathetic life forms found their friends, hmmm? Well, too bad you are stuck here unless you can defeat me!” *He laughs evilly.*

Shadow gets an idea and whispers it to Cream, who smiles in agreement.

Black Doom: “Prepare to die, you pathetic-”

Cream interject, saying: “CHEESE, GET HIM!!”

*Cream’s chao Cheese flies about Black Doom, and then runs into him. Either because he is a memory, or because Cheese is a ball of pure kindness, Black Doom shatters into tiny pieces like glass, only getting to say: “NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” as he breaks apart.*

Cream: “Yay! We did it!”

Shadow sees the warp orb. “And we can get out of here too.” *The 2 waste no time jumping in and escaping the memory world.*

Achievement Unlocked: I Am All of Me

—–

Level 88: Experimental Horror Film

Crates:148

Time Trial

Sapphire: 1:35.00

Gold: 1:30.00

Platinum: 1:25.00

Tappers to Save: 5

Friends: Crash, Coco, and Crunch

*Crash, Coco, and Crunch enter the next dream world and find themselves in cages.*

Coco: “What? Hey! What’s going on?”

N. Trance appears. “Oh, just my next trap for you.”

Crunch: “Once we break out of here, we will kick your butt!”

N. Trance: “I know that, that’s why the cages aren’t very strong. No, the trap is what you will see ahead!” *He laughs and disappears.*

Just as he said, the cages were easy to break apart and escape from. But when they did that, an alarm sounded.

Alarm: “WARNING! Bandicoot experiments have escaped! WARNING! Bandicoot experiments have escaped!”

A memory Cortex can be heard shouting from far away. “Stop sitting about, you imbeciles! Go round them up!”

Memory N. Brio: “Y-y-yes! S-s-s-so we c-c-can perform more experiments on t-t-them!!”

Crash: “Uh-oh! We better get out of here!”

Coco and Crunch: “Right!”

Badniks: Lab Assistants: Nothing really special about them. One throws beakers around and another tries to shock you.

Kaotickanine notes: N. Trance is forcing the Bandicoot trio to relive their days as Cortex’s mutated experiments; being forcibly evolved into members of his army. In order to get out of this nightmare, the Bandicoots must escape from their prisons and free the other animals being subjected to this torture, all while evading the memory of Cortex, N. Brio, and his goons.

The exit here is jumping out of the window Crash originally jumped out of in his debut game.

Achievement Unlocked: Mutations

—–

Level 89: DOOMed Once Again...

Crates: 173

Time Trial

Sapphire: 1:50.00

Gold: 1:45.00

Platinum: 1:40.00

Tappers to Save: 5

Friends: Hunter and Bianca

*Bianca and Hunter enter the next memory world and find someplace familiar…*

Bianca: “Oh! Look at this! It’s our old honeymoon spot in Fireworks Factory!”

Hunter: “Yeah, it was pretty beautiful, especially with you there.”

*Bianca blushes.*

*Unfortunately, the scene changed to the deep insides of the base of Fireworks Factory.*

Bianca: “Huh?”

N. Trance appears on one of the monitors. “Sorry to interrupt some fond memories, you lovebirds.” *He smirked.*

Hunter: “Where the hell did you send us?”

N. Trance keeps smirking. “HELL is a pretty accurate term for where you are, for sure. I hope you guys aren’t DOOMed” *He laughs and cuts the monitor as the door in front of them opens, revealing an army of ninjas, but looking a little different…*

Badniks: Trident-Swinging Demon/Ninja Rhybots: You better be quick to attack them, or they will give you a swift smack with their tridents. Gun-Firing Demon/Ninja Rhybots: They pop off 5 fireballs in a row from their ‘guns’, so you might want to keep moving or defeat them from a distance. Bomb-Throwing Demon Rhybots: They bounce fiery bombs around until they blow up. They are too strong to hit anywhere, save for their backside. But, you better run, cause they will charge after you as a suicide attempt. Fireworks Demon Rhybots: They fire off homing rockets at you, so you’ll want to keep on your toes. In a fair return, if you can set them on fire, they will shoot off like a firework and hit the nearest enemy, killing them.

Well, isn’t this honeymoon revisit turning into a disaster! N. Trance has sent a whole demon/ninja army after the happy couple to try and kill them! Can you fight your way through this personal HELL in a dangerous facility full of explosive material without becoming singed?

*Hunter and Bianca escape out the last door and into the warp orb as the place blows up to pieces.*

Achievement Unlocked: Big Rhybots Have Big Robot Guts

—–

Level 90: Panic Aboveground

Crates: 109

Time Trial

Sapphire: 1:15.00

Gold: 1:10.00

Platinum: 1:05.00

Tappers to Save: 5

Friends: Blink and Spyro

*Blink and Spyro enter the next dream world which looks a little out of sight.*

Blink: “I think it’s my mind. I even like my memories dark. Heh.”

Spyro: “That’s all good for you, but I wouldn’t mind a little light.” *He uses his flame breath to create a little light around them.* “Now, where are we…”

N. Trance’s voice can be heard. “Here, let me help you!” *He deletes the darkness from Blink’s mind.*

Blink: “Hey! Don’t do… that…” *He sees the location they are in and is immediately scared.*

N. Trance: “Heh he. I knew you would be immediately scared of the sky, especially of a place like Cloudy Domain! Hope you can find the way out!” *He laughs and leaves.*

Spyro: “Come on, Blink. I’ll carry you out of here. Get on my back.”

Blink does so. “Thanks… I don’t like the sky, you know my fresh-air-a-phobia.”

Spyro: “I know. Come on, let’s find the elevator down…”

Kaotickanine says: We now enter Blink’s mind. Although something’s not quite right… Our underground loving friend is WAY above ground in the Cloudy Domain! Even though Blink has never set foot in the floating city, for good reason, N. Trance has forced the entire location into his mind and now the mole’s “fresh-air-phobia” threatens to make him experience a panic attack, which will shatter his mind. Only way to escape this is to get Blink to the elevator of the city.

Achievement Unlocked: Clouded Minds

—–

Level 91: Sour Passion

Crates: 197

Time Trial

Sapphire: 2:10.00

Gold: 2:05.00

Platinum: 2:00.00

Tappers to Save: 5

Friends: Amy, Cream, and Big

Badniks: Horrific Egg Pawns: Various Egg Pawns that have taken some ‘scary’ shots from the badnik maker. One appears to look like Black Doom’s Eye, but with more tentacles that will try to grab you and throw you into its eye, which is also its mouth. Another appears to be the Egg Magician, but more taller and slender and grey (Perhaps the SlenderEgg?). And it looks like it forgot to get the Egg face, which has made it creepier. It warps around to try to spook you and take some rings. A third, which could only be called the Egg Minotaur, appears to have a bull for its head piece and is more built (taller and more muscular) than the standard Egg Pawn. Other than looking big and mean, it will charge around until it crashes into something. A 4th, called the Egg Imp, is probably Eggman’s craziest Pawn yet. It flies around like a maniac, shooting fireballs from its trident. But it also has some making from the Egg Bishop, as it can heal and call badniks as well. That’s very crazy.

*Amy, Cream, and Big enter the next dream world*

Amy: “Are you sure you want to come with us, Cream? I love having you tag along with me, but I can sense you're still recovering from that trip with Shadow… “

Cream: “Don’t worry Amy, I’m fine. I don’t want to be doing nothing while you and everyone else work to save the world!”

Amy: “Alright then! So long you’re feeling up to to! Anyway, where are we?”

*Team Rose finds themselves atop a high hill, overlooking three “zones” of differing appearances*

Big. “Hm… That place looks familiar!”

*Big points to the “zone” on the far right, which contains various biomes with rivers and ponds within*

Cream: “Really, Big?”

Big: “Yeah! Although I don’t think I’ve ever actually been to that place but I think about something like that all the time. It’s the perfect fishing spot for me and Froggy to catch all sorts of fish!”

Amy: “Interesting… And actually, that area over there looks like all the things I think about a lot transformed into a location! I can see parts of Twinkle Park, soft served ice cream, a wizards tower surrounded by a magical garden, and there’s me and Sonic dating!” *Amy looks even closer at that area* “Oh my God! And there’s me and Sonic’s children! “

Cream: “Really!?”

Amy: “Yeah! Um, but let’s not dwell on that…” *Blushes with a “sweat drop”* “Unless people dream about their future children often.”

Cream: “Heh, I’m not sure…” *Cream looks at the middle area* “OH MY GOSH!!! I imagine that place all the time! It’s the perfect Chao Garden with all sorts of fun rides, games, and sweets!” *Cream and Cheese grab each others hands and jump up and down* “Cheese! It’s our dream come true!”

*N. Trance’s voice echoes around the three* “HA!!! Sure, it looks like a dream now, but soon it will be a permanent nightmare!”

*Amy, Cream, and Big all huddle together in a defensive stance while looking around for the fifth dimensional madman. Suddenly N. Trance appears in front of them, floating in the air overlooking the three areas*

N. Trance: “In case you haven’t figured it out, which I’m sure you haven’t given how dim-witted all three of you are…”

Amy: “Says the guy who failed to mind-control all three of us.”

*Cream and Big openly laugh while Amy smiles with a proud look*

N. Trance: “SHUT UP!!! These three areas are your respective imaginations! The things that define your whole beings! I was not amused at all by you three resisting my mind-control despite your poor brains, so now I’m going to make you suffer in the worst ways! You, pink hedgehog, consider yourself an unrelentless optimist? Let’s see how optimistic you’ll be once my ‘Seeds of Doubt’ are finished!”

*N. Trance materializes evil looking seeds, which he then tosses onto various areas in Amy’s imagination*

N. Trance: “It will take time, but soon enough those seeds will overwhelm you with doubt! And with doubt comes despondence, and with despondence comes depression. It won’t be long until you become a hopeless pessimist and the only thing you look forward to is death rather than love!“

*One of Amy’s “dream children”, a pink baby hedgehog, touches the “Seed of Doubt” and disappears*

Amy: *In tears* “NO!!! DIAMOND DESTINY!!!” *Breaks down sobbing*

Cream: “You monster!”

N. Trance: “Thank you for the compliment! As for you, sickening little girl, I’m once again going to send some minions of mine to attack your peaceful paradise! And this time…”

*N. Trance fires off his “clock hand” at Cheese and grabs the Chao*

Cream: *Gasp* “CHEESE!!!”

N. Trance: “This pixie won’t interfere by giving you lingering hope and fighting my creations! And also for you, dumb cat!”

*N. Trance grabs Froggy, who was perched on top of Big’s head*

Big: “FROGGY!!!”

*N. Trance tosses Cheese and Froggy somewhere into Cream and Big’s respective imagination, which are then overrun by scary and violent robots*

N. Trance: “I sure hope my forces find them before you do! Toodles!”

*N. Trance disappears, leaving behind a saddened, openly crying Team Rose. Amy, however, soon stops bawling over Diamond Destiny and her eyes blaze with fury*

Amy: “THAT SLIMEBALL IS GOING TO PAY FOR THIS!!! Come on guys! Let’s rescue Cheese and Froggy and destroy those Seeds of Doubt!”

Cream: “Don’t need to tell me! Me and Cheese are inseparable!”

Big: “And I won’t allow any harm to come to Froggy!”

Kaotickanie says: Team Rose have been reunited at last! Too bad it isn’t a happy occasion... N. Trance is now attacking their imagination: using “Seeds of Doubt” to corrupt Amy from a cheerful optimist and into a depressed pessimist, stealing away Cheese and Froggy from Cream and Big and hiding them somewhere in their respective imaginations, and has overrun all three locations with violent robots! To keep Team Rose from wilting, you must venture into “Amy-tropolis” and destroy the Seeds of Doubt, Cream’s “Chao Funland” and find Cheese, and Big’s “Fishing Paradise” and rescue Froggy!

*After Team Rose solve their respective problems, Cream and Cheese are deeply hugging each other, as are Big and Froggy, and Amy looks at the four with a heartfelt smile.*

Cream: “Oh Cheese! I’m never letting anything separate us again!”

Cheese: “Chao!”

Big: “Me neither! I’ll protect you forever Froggy!”

Amy: “Aww, I’m so happy for you guys!”

*Amy’s face grows saddened and she sighs, which Cream takes note of and reacts accordingly*

Cream: “Something wrong, Amy? You don’t sound very happy…”

Amy: “Well… I’m genuinely happy for you two! I-I just wish I was able to protect something of my- Huh?”

*Amy looks down and Diamond Destiny on top of her feet, looking up at Amy*

Amy: *Overjoyed gasp* “DIAMOND DESTINY!!! YOU’RE ALIVE!!!“

*With tears of joy, Amy scoops up her imaginary infant and repeatedly kisses her, much to the infant, and Cream and Big’s amusement*

Cream: “I’m so glad she’s okay now! I was honestly worried…”

Big: “But she’s not-”

Cream: “Shh! Don’t ruin the moment, Big.”

Big: “Oh! Sorry.”

Amy: “I know what you were going to say Big, Diamond Destiny isn’t real. But I love her like she is! And she WILL become real soon enough, heehee!”

Big: “Sure, Amy, and we will be enjoying the fanfictions that come out of it.”

*Team Rose laughs as they take the warp orb out*

Achievement Unlocked: Follow Me

—–

Level 92: A Forgotten Robot’s Vengeance

Crates: 164

Time Trial

Sapphire: 1:45.00

Gold: 1:40.00

Platinum: 1:35.00

Tappers to Save: 5

Friends: Omega, Shadow and Rouge

Badniks: E-100 Alpha ‘ZERO’ : Eggman’s starting failure of the E-100 series. Even though he is not considered part of the series, he is still quite dangerous with his electric extendable arms and rocketry. To defeat this robot, you’re going to have to shock him so you can destroy his insides. E-101 β: Eggman’s first successful entry in the series, this robot is outfitted with tons of missiles and energy spheres. It even comes with a frontal shield to block attacks! To defeat Beta, you need to find some way to attack his backside... E-102 γ: Eggman’s second successful entry into the series, this one has homing rockets firing off of its arms. Gamma is pretty durable so it might take a few hits to defeat him. E-103 δ: Eggman’s 3rd robot in the series. It’s not as interesting, as all it does is fly around and shooting missiles off and on. Defeat by homing attacks is probably the easiest to do. E-104 ε: Eggman’s 4th robot in the series. Like Delta, Epsilon is not very interesting either, just flying around and firing missiles off and on. It should be no match for the Dark gang. E-105 ζ: Eggman’s 5th robot in the series. Zeta looks like the construction he had when fought in the Hot Shelter, with the rotating ring and 8 missile-launching tubes. Still, it shouldn’t pose too much of a challenge. E-1000: Fake Gammas, just to add in some extra rocketry support for the robots.

*Team Dark decide to enter the next dream world.*

Rouge looks around at the cyberspace. “Well, this looks new. Where are we?”

Shadow: “If I had to guess, some kind of digital space. Reminds me of GUNs and Eggman’s cyberspace.” (It does take some cues off of them.)

Omega: “IT IS MY CYBERSPACE. LOCATION CONFIRMS IT.”

Shadow: “Hmm, so it is your memories, it seems…”

*Explosions from missiles can be heard.*

Omega: “DAMAGE IS OCCURRING TO MY CYBERSPACE. DETERMINING PROBLEM.”

N. Trance appears holographically: “Let me save you some trouble. I brought the memories of the original E-series. I know how you regard them, Omega, but let’s see if you are the superior robot.”

Omega: “I AM THE SUPERIOR ROBOT!”

N. Trance: “Then prove it! Destroy them before they destroy you!” *He disappears.*

Kaotickanine says: Apparently, even the mind of a computer is not safe from N. Trance as we now delve into Omega’s “psyche”. Of course Omega’s mind is a lot different from everyone else’s, being a cyberspace filled with info and all sorts of digital stuff. All the same though, Omega’s memories make up this world and this time N. Trance is feeding on the robots superiority complex, reviving the first E-100 series, including the famous Gamma, and having them wreak havoc. To keep Omega from suffering a blue screen of death, the E-100 Series robots must be destroyed.

Achievement Unlocked: This Machine

—–

Level 93: Dark Hedgehog Minds

Crates: 142

Time Trial

Sapphire: 1:40.00

Gold: 1:35.00

Platinum: 1:30.00

Tappers to Save: 5

Friends: Shadow, Rouge, and Omega

Badniks: Shadow Androids: Robotic copies of Shadow that have the new memories of Shadow’s more revenge-set mind. If they spot you, they will fire homing rockets after you.

Mutants: Mephileses: The shadowy replicas made from Shadow’s, er, shadow. They know karate, just like the real one, but they aren’t very good at it. It should be pretty easy to dispatch.

*Shadow, Rouge and Omega are immediately sent to the next dreamworld after the last one.*

Rouge: “What- Hey! Why did we jump into another memory world?”

N. Trance appears as a hologram again. “Cause I am not done with you! I bet this place looks familiar to you, Shadow.”

Shadow looks around and sees the ARK. “It’s the ARK, so what?”

N. Trance: “Don’t act so naive, I know how much you care about this place. I bet it would anger you if it was getting destroyed...” *He messes with Shadow’s shadow and makes what could only be called Mephiles.*

Mephiles the Dark: “Yes, Master N. Trance?”

N. Trance: “Go, memory Mephiles, destroy the ARK!”

Mephiles: “Yes, Master.” *He makes an army of copies of himself. N. Trance helps and makes an army of Shadow Androids for them to go into.*

Mephile Clones as Shadow Androids: “We will destroy everything, including the Earth, for killing Maria.” *They chant as they leave the area.*

N. Trance looks at Shadow, who is clearly annoyed. “Go ahead, destroy them. They are obviously not you. Get revenge!” *He laughs and leaves.*

Rouge grabs Shadow’s hand. “I think I see what he is trying to do, Shadow. Can we destroy them for you?”

Shadow reassures her. “He thinks he can mess with my mind, but he’s wrong. I’m not getting revenge; I’m just destroying a terrible villain.”

Omega: “THEY SURE ARE ANNOYING. STARTING DESTRUCTION SPREE!”

Kaotickanine: We once again visit Shadow’s mind, manifesting as the Space Colony ARK in its prime, but this time he’s not sharing it with Cream nor is he dealing with the Black Arms or GUN. Now N. Trance has managed to revive the erased memories of Mephiles the Dark, who is now doing his best to corrupt Shadow’s mind into his servitude, and N. Trance also brought back a forgotten memory of Shadow’s: his revenge seeking self after being awakened by Eggman, who is now using the Shadow Androids to make Shadow seeks Earth’s destruction again.

Achievement Unlocked: Who I Am

—–

Level 94: The Floating Isle

Crates: 197

Time Trial

Sapphire: 2:20.00

Gold: 2:15.00

Platinum: 2:10.00

Tappers to Save: 5

Friends: Knuckles, Tails, and Sonic

*Knuckles, Tails, and Sonic end up on a flying island, but it looks different.*

Sonic: “Hey, it’s Angel Island! But something looks different.”

Tails shivers. “Say… I don’t remember Angel Island being so cold.”

Knuckles: “It shouldn’t be! I think someone is messing with the memories of my island!”

N. Trance appears on one of the ring monitors nearby. “You got that right! I screwed with the environments on your island! Think you know your island so well? See if you can make it through this!”

Sonic smashes the monitor: “Ugh, I hate that channel. Come on, let’s go!”

Given that he’s lived on the place for his entire life, it’s no surprise that Knuckles’ mind takes on the form of Angel Island. However N. Trance is turning this floating paradise into a disaster by mismatching the many areas of the island; Hydrocity is all dried up and filled with sand, Sandopolis is flooded with water, Ice Caps has melted, and Mushroom Hill frozen over. Time for the Rad Red to protect his home once again, even if it’s only in his mind.

Achievement Unlocked: A Dragon Sized Adventure & Knuckles

—–

Level 95: Sonic’s Nightmare

Crates: 121

Time Trial

Sapphire: 1:25.00

Gold: 1:20.00

Platinum: 1:15.00

Tappers to Save: 5

Helping Partner: Shadow

*Sonic and Shadow find themselves in the familiar down-sloped streets of City Escape.*

Shadow: “I suppose this last memory world is for you, Sonic?”

Sonic: “I think so, although I don’t see the reason why we are here. I don’t remember anything particularly dreadful in this place.”

N. Trance’s voice can be heard. “Oh, no? You don’t remember anything particularly dangerous here? Cause I looked and found the perfect nightmare here…”

Shadow: “What is he referring to, Sonic?”

Sonic starts panicking a bit. “I… I don’t know! What did I see here that was just so nightmarish?”

*Unbenounced to Shadow and Sonic, N. Trance appears behind the hedgehogs who are not looking behind. He appears in the Nightmare GUN Truck, packed with plenty of saws, rockets, spikes, and other dangerous objects.*

N. Trance: “Maybe a little BUZZ CUT may jog your memory!” *He swings one of the saws near the hedgehogs and bangs and spins it against the ground.*

Sonic is clearly scared when he hears the noise. “O-o-oh, no… I-i-i don’t want to look… I… must RUN!!!!” *Sonic starts running away really fast, leaving Shadow behind.*

Shadow: “Huh? Sonic! Wait up!” *He hurries after Sonic and N. Trance drives along behind them.*

N. Trance has prepared one last diabolical trap, and it is all for Sonic. He’s chasing the 2 hedgehogs in what can only be called the GUN Truck from Hell! It even supports a hellish paint job! N. Trance isn’t going to let anything stop him, as he will destroy anything you pass. He even warps you out of City Escape and into other worlds as well. You’re only escape is just rushing to the warp orb at the end.

Achievement Unlocked: Rolling on the Edge

-----

*As the 2 hedgehogs left, N. Trance had been thrown out of the GUN Truck’s windshield and came out with them. He flew for a bit until he crashed into the ground, cracking his shell a bit. He got up in anger.*

N. Trance: “Okay, that’s it! No more ‘yolking’ around. I’m going to finish this! Is there any of you that thinks they can crack this egg?”

*Rouge and Coco step up for fighting.*

Coco: “We don’t like what you did to our minds.”

Rouge: “So we’re going to be the ones to ‘hard-boil’ you!”

N. Trance: “I’d love to see you try…”

Boss: N. Trance

Kaotickanine: The fight against N. Trance is a tough battle that comes in two phases. The first phase is fought entirely by Coco on the ground, wherein N. Trance starts off by summoning a powerful enemy from any of the character’s minds (Beta, Black Doom, etc.), which Coco needs to defeat with the assistance of the other characters aiding from the background. Thankfully, these summons are quick to defeat, and once they’re taken down N. Trance will re-enter the battle arena and shoot his clock hand at Coco like a grappling hook. Should he hit Coco, N. Trance will shoot at her again, but should you make him miss his hand will get stuck and he’ll struggle to get it loose, which is the perfect opportunity to jump onto his head. After that, N. Trance hops out of the arena and shoots at Coco with a “PSI ray” and the process repeats. Hit N. Trance four times and phase 2 with Rouge will begin, in which N. Trance’s flies his head off his body and into the air. N. Trance’s head is invulnerable to any of Rouge’s attacks, even her kicks. However, you can use your attacks to guide N. Trance’s head underneath these three containers in the arena: liquid nitrogen, acid, and lava. Should N. Trance’s head get underneath, one of the allies will pull on a lever, making the harmful substances descend right onto N. Trance’s head. After that, N. Trance will destroy the containers and fire off “PSI bullets” at Rouge, at which point the process repeats. Dropping everything on him will finally make him vulnerable enough for one last kick from Rouge, which will defeat him.

Achievement Unlocked: Humpty Dumpty Had a Big Fall

*N. Trance breaks apart, but before it gets too gruesome, he gets warped away. Rouge returns with the rest of the gang and they leave the Terrarium.*

Death Head’s Bridge

Uka Uka appears and finds the hypnotized Cortex and Eggman. He breaks it and berates Cortex. “CORTEX!!! Those stupid animals have defeated N. Trance!! You better have a plan to defeat them!”

Cortex appears unfazed by Uka-Uka’s anger. “Oh, what’s the point? They’re going to just defeat us again. I’ll go, but it just seems like we are heading for the same outcome. That’s the definition of insanity!”

Uka-Uka simmers in anger. “And what are you going to do, Eggman?!”

Eggman finally tires of Cortex and his minions. “Nothing really. As he said, there is no point!”

Uka-Uka rages: “WHAT??!!! Why not?!!”

Eggman is unconcerned with Uka-Uka and is clearly even more angrier. “Because you fools are the most pathetic bunch of villains that I have ever seen! Even my robots do a better job that what I have seen from his ‘experiments’ and from you and your friends! All I have seen is you guys offer little challenge to Sonic and his friends, and you know what? I rarely call them that way! I am DONE with you fools! Begone!” *He uses the transport beam to send Cortex and Uka-Uka to the next terrarium.*

Eggman: “Cut the power to the transporter, Metal Sonic!”

Metal Sonic: “YES, SIR.” *He cuts the power to them entirely.*

Eggman: “Follow me, my henchmen. We’re heading down to finish this.”

Cubot asks Orbot: “What does he mean by that?”

Orbot: “Best not to question the boss. We should follow him.”

*Eggman, Orbot, Cubot, and Metal Sonic leave the bridge.*

Next Time: WARNING! WARNING! Entering the Space Terrarium!

[chpkns]

BEST ALBUMS 2018

Ok here we go again for 2018, shall we?

Hon. Mentions: Negro Swan - Blood Orange; Singularity - Jon Hopkins; Elsewhere - Ryan Hemsworth; Scorpion - Drake; Diplomatic Ties - The Diplomats; Some Rap Songs - Earl Sweatshirt; FM! - Vince Staples; Rally Cry - Arkells; I’m All Ears - Let’s Eat Grandma; Be The Cowboy - Mitski; Kamikaze - Eminem; Ye - Kanye West; KIDS SEE GHOSTS - Kanye West and Kid Cudi; Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino - Arctic Monkeys; Black Panther: The Album - Kendrick Lamar, et al; KOD - J. Cole; Culture II - Migos; Hive Mind - The Internet; God’s Favorite Customer - Father John Misty; Blood - Rhye; Both Ways - Donovan Woods; Songs of the Plains - Colter Wall

10) Swimming - Mac Miller

This one was tough. Malcolm James McCormick’s fifth studio album was barely out three months before he left us. It’s hard to evaluate Swimming in isolation of Miller’s untimely death at age 26. Especially since, in my mind, the album represents something of a turning point for the former frat rapper. Recorded in the wake of Miller’s high profile breakup with Ariana Grande and in the midst of public struggles with addiction, Swimming is full of heartache and soul bearing self-reflection. Sonically, Mac’s airy raps and crooning vocals float over jazzy beats and orchestral accompaniments, with help from Thundercat and Dev Hynes. There’s room for fun as well amid the melancholy - the more upbeat Ladders and What’s the Use? are sure enough to keep a dance floor moving. The worst thing about Swimming is really how good it is, and how it felt like Mac Miller was on the cusp on something great we’ll now never see. 

Highlights: Self Care, What’s The Use?, 2009, Ladders

9) QUARTERTHING - Joey Purp

Chance the Rapper’s Savemoney compatriot Joey Purp is like a breath of fresh air. QUARTERTHING’s 14 tracks, most clocking in at under 3 minutes, come fast and furious like Purp’s (mostly) un-autotuned flow. Joey’s full throated, almost Meek-Mill-esque, delivery gives the album a mixtape-like authenticity - notwithstanding the varied and expert production from the likes of RZA, Knox Fortune and frequent Chance collaborator Nate Fox. The opening 24k Gold/Sanctified, and Hallelujah just two tracks later, feel downright celebratory pairing Purp’s flow behind a blaring big band sound. Others, like Look At My Wrist and Paint Thinner, are Chicago Drill and house inspired, feeling like they’d be right at home in a sweaty club basement. Lyrically, Purp is a classic hip-hop storyteller and street documentarian, drawing from experiences in a former life selling drugs and the violence of his home city. This impressive studio album debut is more than enough to solidify Joey Purp’s place among an exciting new generation of Chicago rappers.

Highlights: 24k Gold/Sanctified (ft. Ravyn Lenae & Jack Red), Godbody (ft. RZA) [Pt. 2], Hallelujah, Look At My Wrist (ft. Cdot Honcho), Karl Malone

8) Golden Hour - Kacey Musgraves

Kacey Musgraves is clearly in the pantheon of artists that can’t release an album without it making this list (I rated Pageant Material #8 in 2015 and Same Trailer, Different Park #9 in 2013... both criminally underrated in retrospect). Musgraves continued to be a revelation with her third album. There was a great Ezra Koenig quote last year, where he talked about seeing Musgraves’ concert and being inspired by the clarity of her music: “from the first verse, you knew who was singing, who they were singing to, what kind of situation they were in”. On Golden Hour, she maintains that clarity, stretching a little more outside the traditional country sound into pop and disco-inspired melodies. I do miss the dry humour and rebellious spirit of the previous two Musgraves outings, I’ll admit. You won’t find any overt weed references here, but Kacey finds plenty of ways to remind us how few fucks she gives about the Nashville country establishment. Golden Hour also shows off some of Musgraves’ strongest songwriting to date - the sprawling Space Cowboy stands out as one of the best singles of the year in any genre. I’m probably in the minority in thinking Golden Hour is not my favourite Kacey Musgraves album, but it’s still one of my favourite albums of 2018.

Highlights: Slow Burn, Space Cowboy, High Horse, Love is a Wild Thing

7) Lush - Snail Mail

It’s about to become clear that there is a “women in indie rock” movement happening on this year’s list. The debut album from 18 year old singer-songwriter Lindsey Jordan is one of the most aptly titled records of 2018. Lush’s indie rock soundscapes are just that. Loud, full and richly textured. Jordan’s crystal clear vocals soar and float above her ringing guitar chords and riffs. The songwriting is perhaps what you’d expect from an 18 year old, full of heartbreak, confusion and teen angst. She does it well though. As the first chorus builds on Heat Wave, Jordan’s voice builds: “And I hope whoever it is Holds their breath around you, 'Cause I know I did”. The album’s standout track for me is Full Control which crescendos to a refrain of: “I'm in full control, I'm not lost, Even when it's love, Even when it's not.” At the same time, Lush exudes a maturity and a nostalgia that hearkens back to Snail Mail’s spiritual predecessors like Cat Power or Fiona Apple. Snail Mail was one of many reasons that 2018 gave me hope that there’s a future for indie rock and “guitar music” generally. I’m very much looking forward to seeing what’s next.

Highlights: Pristine, Full Control, Deep Sea, Heat Wave

6) boygenius EP - boygenius

The only thing that ever held me back from including boygenius on this list was my long held view that “an EP is not an album”. Well, since Kanye decided that 7 songs can be an “album” why not 6? Any album that has 6 songs as good as the 6 on boygenius EP would make this list! boygenius is the indie “supergroup” made up of Phoebe Bridgers, Lucy Dacus and the holder of last year’s #3 album on this list, Julien Baker - all accomplished solo acts in their own right. Predictably, the whole is something greater than the sum of its parts. boygenius EP’s six songs are a tour de force amalgam of indie, country and folk (owing to the band’s cross-genre Nashville and Viriginia roots) full of raw emotion and grit. Dacus, Bridgers and Baker seem made to perform, and sing, together. The harmonies on this record make boygenius sound like an indie rock iteration of Destiny’s Child or an edgier, less twangy version of the Dixie Chicks. The songs do not hold back, with high highs and low lows. On Me & My Dog, the soaring chorus evokes an escapist dream: “I wish I was on a spaceship, Just me and my dog and an impossible view”. The emotional highpoint of the record might be Baker and Bridgers’ chorus on Salt in the Wound apexing with: “I’m gnashing my teeth, Like a child of Cain, If this is a prison I’m willing to buy my own chain”. I can’t stop watching live videos of these three - they seem so at home onstage together. As excited as I’d be to see boygenius become more than a side project, I’m equally excited to see what’s next for Bridgers, Dacus and Baker on their own.

Highlights: Me & My Dog, Stay Down, Salt In the Wound, Ketchum ID

5) DAYTONA - Pusha T

YUGH! Amid Kanye’s unhinged tweets, messy, disorganized projects, and Oval Office visits, DAYTONA, the 7 track album he entirely produced for G.O.O.D. Music veteran Pusha T, was one thing that gave us hope that Kanye hadn’t completely lost his touch (or his mind) in 2018. DAYTONA showcases both producer Kanye and King Push at the absolute peak of their talents. It’s amazing, in this era of Xanax-fuelled mumblerap, to think how long we’ve been listening to Kanye and Push do their thing. Lord Willin’ introduced the world to Pusha T in 2002 (alongside his brother Malice, as he then was, as the iconic rap duo Clipse). The College Dropout came out two years later. I still remember buying the CDs and wearing out my discman with both of them. It’s easy to forget that Kanye and Terrence “King Push” Thornton are both 41 years old! There’s something refreshing about two guys in their forties still being able to make a banging rap record about selling drugs and buying expensive shit. Push said DAYTONA was made “for my family...high taste level, luxury, drug raps fans.”  Those fans are well served by DAYTONA. After the beat comes in on album opener If You Know You Know, Push sounds like he’s speaking directly to his day one fans, raising a styrofoam cup to: “This thing of ours, oh, this thing of ours”. The album exudes the bravado of an MC on top of his game confident in the knowledge that he’s spitting bars on a classic. And we can’t forget the incendiary Infrared, the song that touched off a vicious beef between Pusha T and rap’s biggest star, Drake, ending after Push revealed in a diss track that Drake was hiding his son from the world. Almost 20 years on, Pusha T is still ready to go war, still “clickin’ like Golden State” and still wearing the crown as King Push. Long may he reign.

Highlights: If You Know You Know, The Games We Play, Hard Piano (ft. Rick Ross), Infrared

4) Honey - Robyn

I found myself slightly disappointed in Honey at first, largely because my expectations for Robyn’s first album in eight years were based on the high energy electro-pop brilliance of 2010′s Body Talk. What I should have realized is that, if Robyn were going to make another Body Talk, she wouldn’t have kept us waiting this long. Honey is not Body Talk - you won’t find another Call Your Girlfriend or Dancing on My Own among its nine silky smooth tracks. But it is no less brilliant. If I can forget that Beach2k20 exists for a second, it feels pretty darn close to a perfect album. Honey betrays a lighter touch for Robyn, perhaps more in tune with the sound of the moment. A little more euro house and disco tinged, Honey furthers the Swedish songstress’s long evolution away from the pop idol of her late 90′s past. Honey still embodies Robyn’s signature juxtaposition of electronic dance rhythms alongside themes of sadness, loneliness and heartbreak. And songs like Honey and Missing U can still light up any dancefloor. The highlight for me is the slow-building Send to Robin Immediately, which just swells over its Lil Louis sample as Robyn urges the listener into action: “If you got something to say, say it right away. If you got something to do, do what's right for you. If you got somebody to love, give that love today. Know you got nothing to lose, there's no time to waste”. In between albums, and while writing Honey, Robyn lived through the death of a longtime collaborator and a breakup and reunion with a romantic partner. The emotional toll of these experiences seem to shine through. Robyn told the BBC’s Annie Mac earlier this year: “When I wrote this album I think I was quite tired of myself writing sad love songs, but I did anyway and looking back on that now, I think it's OK for things to be sad. Combining it with something that's bright and strong and powerful is a way of finding your way out of the sadness.” 

Highlights: Missing U, Human Being (ft. Zhala), Send to Robin Immediately, Honey

3) Clean - Soccer Mommy

Clean, the impressive debut album from 20 year old Nashville singer-songwriter Sophie Allison, was the first album I heard this year that I 100% knew would be on this list. By the time Your Dog hits at the third track, I was completely enthralled. That song is so goddamn rock and roll with Allison sparing no mercy for the subject shitty boyfriend of the opening verse: “I don't wanna be your fucking dog, That you drag around, A collar on my neck tied to a pole, Leave me in the freezing cold”. Elsewhere, on Still Clean, Allison plays with gruesome animalistic imagery singing of an ex-lover picking her “out your bloody teeth”. There is a warmer side to Clean as well. Scorpio Rising, with it’s “bubbly and sweet like Coca-Cola” softness and lyrics about meeting up after dark and missed calls from your mother definitely remind you that Allison is a self-professed devotee of Taylor Swift’s early work (which should give you another idea of why I love this album). Speaking of T-Swift, the rollicking Last Girl almost mirrors You Belong With Me in describing the crushing insecurity of comparing oneself to a new partner’s ex, somehow pulling off lyrics like “I want to be like your last girl, She's the sun in your cold world and, I am just a dying flower, I don't hold the summer in my eyes” as if that were a totally normal thing to say. Beneath the upbeat riff of Cool, where Allison idolizes the cool girl “with a heart of coal, She’ll break you down and eat you whole” is the understanding that being that person won’t bring her the happiness she seeks. Acceptance of one’s emotions and insecurities is the core theme of Clean - that “You gon’ be like that” (as Allison put it to the Fader) and you’ll be happier once you accept you for you. In many ways, Clean evokes a similar vibe to the Snail Mail and boygenius entries further up this year’s list, as a scrappy “girl with a guitar” indie record and a tongue-in-cheek stage name. That sense of charming honesty is what, I think, makes Clean stand above the other entries on this list.

Highlights: Cool, Your Dog, Last Girl, Scorpio Rising

2) Lamp Lit Prose - Dirty Projectors

The first of our top two is another repeat offender on this list (a previous incarnation of the Projectors’ Swing Lo Magellan had #7 back in 2012 and last year’s eponymous Dirty Projectors was my 2017 #8). I loved every minute of Lamp Lit Prose - it’s almost a 1B for me on this list and was pencilled in at 1 for a time in the drafting process. This album has everything that was good about last year’s DPs record but is, ultimately, tighter, more fun, less weird and less sad. Dave Longstreth appears to have moved on (at least musically) from the emotions he was working through on Dirty Projectors, which was essentially an extended meditation on the breakup of his relationship with Amber Coffman and the band’s upheaval. With Lamp Lit Prose, his “new look” Dirty Projectors (with help from friends like Syd, Rostam and HAIM) have put together something a little more traditional (by Dirty Projectors standards) and a lot more listenable. Longstreth told Exclaim that this album, compared its morose predecessor, “is really about feeling hope again, finding the things that give us hope, that make us feel optimistic and joyful.” Lamp Lit Prose falls somewhere between the twangly, jam band atmosphere of the Projector’s Swing Lo Magellan and Bitte Orca heyday and the more experimental, electronic-infused vibe of the Dirty Projectors released 18 months prior. Longstreth’s guitar riffs are again front and centre, but the voice modulation and distorted electronic sounds are still there, albeit in a more subtle way. Four part harmonies bounce over the jazzy melodies and hopeful lyrics. Where he was mourning a lost love on the last record, here we see Longstreth “in love for the first time ever” on I Found It In U (a salvaged beat from his work on Solange’s last album). On Break Thru, the un-named romantic subject is held up as “an epiphany” with comparisons in quick succession to Archimedes, Fellini and Julian Casablancas. The horn-backed chorus on What Is The Time is the high point of the record for me - the kind of song that makes you want to raise your voice and join in on the hook. All in all, it’s just great to hear this band making fun music again. Lamp Lit Prose is upbeat, creative and simply a joy to listen to. I absolutely loved this album... but just not quite enough to edge out our number 1.

Highlights: Break-Thru, That’s a Lifestyle, I Found It In U, What Is The Time

1) ASTROWORLD - Travis Scott

IT’S LIT!!! I would have never predicted that a Travis Scott album would land here at number 1, but here we are. And I feel good about it. ASTROWORLD dominated my listening from its mid-summer release onward and, with each spin, I became increasingly convinced of its greatness. Travis is an artist that I’ve long found perplexing. Insanely popular among his legions of young fans, he embodies so much of the “new rap” ethos, the first genre of music where I’ve started to feel like I might be ‘too old’ to enjoy it. It was clear on his prior outings, Rodeo and Birds in the Trap Sing McKnight, that the talent and creativity was there, but the overall product always seemed messy, disorganized, unpolished. With ASTROWORLD, Scott finally has made his Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. The album is named for a former Six Flags theme park in Scott’s hometown of Houston that was torn down a decade ago and still sits vacant. Previewing the title of the album, Scott told GQ last year: "They tore down AstroWorld to build more apartment space. That's what it's going to sound like, like taking an amusement park away from kids. We want it back. We want the building back. That's why I'm doing it. It took the fun out of the city." True to his word, the album’s 17 tracks are tied together by an overarching creepy, grimy sound. Listening to ASTROWORLD feels like walking through an abandoned theme park. Even more impressive is how Travis, as curator of the album’s varied guest list, bends the star studded guest appearances to his will, fitting them in perfectly to his dank sonic menagerie. The likes of Frank Ocean, the Weeknd, Swae Lee, Tame Impala and James Blake don’t overpower Scott’s vision but blend into the scenery, their talents employed perfectly by Travis in the role of ringmaster. Newcomers get some shine too, like Scott’s Cactus Jack labelmate Sheck Wes who gets a guest verse on NO BYSTANDERS and a shoutout to his ubiquitous single from Travis on 5% TINT: “We did some things out on the ways that we can't speak, All I know it was "Mo Bamba" on repeat”. And then, there’s SICKO MODE. Why is it that the best Drake song each year invariably comes from someone else’s album, even in a year where Drizzy himself releases a double album? The ASTROWORLD track list, at least initially, left out the featured artists, so hearing Drake’s voice over the opening notes of the album’s third track was the first time most listeners had any indication that the 6ixgod himself would be making an appearance. What a wonderful surprise it turns out to be. SICKO MODE, the album’s best track, feels like three or four different songs as the beat changes form and Travis and Drake pass the mic back and forth. The song’s Tay Keith produced final act (the “out like a light” part) is for my money the best two minutes of hip hop music made in 2018. ASTROWORLD succeeds on its grandeur, vision and consistency. Travis Scott set out to build something big and from the moment the bass kicks in on STARGAZING through to the mellow, string backed denouement of COFFEE BEAN, he succeeds at every turn. ASTROWORLD was 2018′s biggest, most creative, most sonically consistent and most fun album in hip-hop. In my estimation, it’s the best album of the year.

Highlights: STARGAZING, CAROUSEL (ft. Frank Ocean), SICKO MODE (ft. Drake, Swae Lee and Big Hawk), WAKE UP (ft. The Weeknd), CAN’T SAY (ft. Don Toliver)

That’s all folks. Thanks for reading and see ya in 2019.