#the clans need more reasoning surrounding names imo

[shreksstepfather]

Idea: Upon being granted their full names by StarClan, med cats also get some kind of heterochromia :)

[merrybandofmurderers]

hey so forgive me if you've already told me this, but yuo's a blood mage, right? what caused him to turn to blood magic? does he feel guilty about it, considering the stigma surrounding it, or does he say fuck all that jazz? and have there ever been lasting consequences to using blood magic? sorry if that's a lot, thank you ily :)

no no no, i LOVE answering questions!! yes, yuo is a blood mage (and also a battle mage, a pretty good combo imo, but also one that’s hard on his body). he doesn’t really use blood magic a lot, just when he really needs it (and obviously when he’s in the inquisition, he REALLY tries to be discreet, which being a battle mage covers up for).

there’s only a few ppl he openly uses blood magic around at first (solas, cuz he gleans it from their magic convos and won’t out him despite their contentious relationship; cole, cuz he reads yuo’s mind basically; bull, cuz he figures it out and doesn’t judge yuo for it).

SO. the backstory. yuo’s mom died when he was 19, just before he received his vallaslin, which has always weighed heavy on him. his dad died when he was.. 22? i think? (both of them die in skirmishes with humans, which is where his dislike of humans really started). the death of his mom he was able to handle somewhat cuz he had his dad and his sister.

when his dad died, his sister did not handle it well either, so yuo was a mess. at that time is also when he and his sister adopted three young elves who were orphaned. he was desperate for more power to protect his loved ones, so he asked his keeper (newly appointed and his sister’s best friend) for permission to learn blood magic. she was worried what he would do if she denied him, so at the next arlathvhen they found him a hahren to teach him ethical blood magic.

he never expected himself to turn to blood magic, becuz blood magic is not widely accepted among the dalish. but he accepted it becuz he figured it would help him (he ultimately comes to the conclusion that nothing he does can protect his loved ones, but he doesn’t stop using blood magic becuz it does make him stronger.)

around his clan he didnt need to hide it. they understood his grief and trusted him. he only really learned the necessity of discretion when he fell in love with a human apostate and trusted him to teach him blood magic and then was betrayed by him (which is the root of his trust issues).

this didn’t stop him from using blood magic, but he realized how careful he needed to be, and the lasting consequence from that was his trust issues which has definitely impacted him negatively. aside from that, as i said, his combined specs are hard on his body, which have left him with recurring pain as well as needing to treat his scars regularly.

(EDIT: okay so i tried to put a cut here to make it not so long, but apparantly tumblr does not like them anymore so i had to remove it to save the formatting :/ thanks tumblr

EDIT TWO: apparantly removing the cut did NOT save the formatting it just put the cut at the beginning :))))

i talked a bit about about the effects of his specializations here, and i talked about his blood magic and grief allowing him to relate to alexius here.

dorian, sera, and blackwall find out about his blood magic during the reclaiming of suledin keep. they agree to keep his secret but it’s a rough process of acceptance for all of them, especially dorian.

these are some excerpts of the confrontations dorian and yuo have about yuo lying about his blood magic

“Have you ever used blood magic on me?”

Dorian hates himself for asking. He hates himself because he knows the answer will be no, it must be. He asks anyway.

Lavellan stays quiet so long, Dorian starts to hate him more than he hates himself. Dread and genuine fear coil in his gut.

“Once. Only once. In Coracavus, when that darkspawn hit you. Dorian, I was afraid you were going to get the Blight. I couldn’t—” He stops, breathes. “That was the only time. Just, to stop the bleeding, keep it clean. Nothing more than I do for myself.”

*

“I don’t understand why you think you need it. You’re powerful enough already—”

“No, I’m not, Dorian. Don’t you understand? I’m not powerful enough—I’ll never be powerful enough. And I have to remember that, I have to remember… nothing will ever be enough. I have to hold onto that every time some fucking demon thinks it can use me by promising to give me what I want. When a demon promises to give me back my parents, to protect my sister, my clan, to save everyone I care about, to keep everything I have—I need to remember that it’s not enough. I have to accept that. Because if I believe—if I hope—for even a moment that there might be some power capable of that—of restoring what’s lost, preserving what I have—I won’t be able to fight them. I have to know it, that no power will ever be enough; I’ll never be enough.”

and here is when yuo ultimately tells dorian the story behind his using blood magic

Dorian sat next to him on the battlements. “Who was it? That you were wrong about?”

Lavellan was silent for a long moment, then, “His name was Rory. He was an apostate.”

“A human.”

“Yes, human. He wasn’t the first I’d been with, though. He wasn’t special… in that way. That wasn’t… a red flag for me. Then. It’s—” He sighed.

“Let me start from the beginning. My mother died when I was nineteen, just before I received my vallaslin, my father when I was twenty-two. My mother’s death, I managed well enough. But when my father died… Anavi didn’t know how to deal with it either. She… closed off. And it was hard to be around her because she reminded me so much of them. She looked just like him but acted just like our mother. It was a mess, we both were, but especially me. I didn’t have anything to—to tether me. I was so desperate. Every night I had these horrific dreams of losing her.

“What I wanted was power. That’s what everyone wants when it comes to blood magic, isn’t it? The power? To protect my sister, my remaining family, my clan, I decided I needed more power. But I was going to do it right. So, I went to our Keeper and asked permission to learn blood magic. Our Keeper by that time was my sister’s closest friend and knew me well. She knew I wouldn’t disobey her if she forbade it, but I needed something to hold on to, and if she didn’t give this to me, she was afraid of what could happen to me. What I would do.

“That year, there was an Arlathvhen. My Keeper found a hahren for me to learn blood magic from. I told you it is not widely accepted amongst the Dalish, but it does happen. So, I lived with this hahren’s clan for a time to learn from them. It got me some space from my sister, from the grief. And they gave me the instruction I needed. The power I wanted, but still drawn from our beliefs. It would have been so easy for me to get twisted, but my hahren guided me, showed me what to do. They reminded me what my magic was for, kept my head on straight. A few years later, I returned to my clan—sooner than I meant to, sooner than perhaps I should have, but another of the clan had died; I needed to be with them, so I went.

“That winter we settled near a village, and that’s where I met Rory.”

Lavellan was silent for a long time, staring into nothing. Dorian sat quietly, watching his somber profile.

“Rory wasn’t special,” he finally continued, “he wasn’t different. He was easy to fall in love with, and I did, and more than that, I trusted him. I didn’t hide my blood magic from him, and he asked me to teach him. I’d already been showing him some magic; he hadn’t really had anyone to learn from. I never thought his questions or intentions were strange or sinister. To me, blood magic was just magic you had to be a little more careful with. So, I taught him.

“Well, the Templars caught him. I don’t know what he did, I don’t know if he actually used blood magic—or any magic—in front of them, if they just suspected, or what. I don’t know if he hurt someone, I just know that they found him, and the reason I know that is because he sold me out to them.”

He sneered. “He told them I had seduced him, bewitched him, used my magic on him, whatever. I’d tricked him into it, coerced him, forced him to use blood magic. All the words that meant he couldn’t be culpable. My clan had been there for several months, and our welcome was already wearing thin. I don’t know if he mentioned them specifically or if it was just me, but the Templars, of course, wouldn’t be taking chances.

“No one died, no one was hurt, but we had to leave, unprepared. And I don’t know what happened to him. All I know is that I loved someone and trusted them, and it turned out I was wrong, and because of that everything I ever cared about protecting almost…”

His hands clasped together, white knuckled. “So, this time the stakes are a lot fucking higher, aren’t they? I’m not going to compare the two of you, because there isn’t any comparison to be had. I was younger then, and eager to be in love with him, and I fought for so long to not feel for you the way I do, but still I love you more than I thought I’d ever love anyone, and once you earned it, my trust in you has never wavered—and that’s why I won’t hate you if you decide you can’t accept this, or—or forgive me, or move on, because you deserved to know and I didn’t tell you.

“Creators, Dorian, if it were just me, I wouldn’t have thought for a second about it. But in this position, it’s not just me—it never was, but he really fucking drove that home for me. My people will always come first, because no matter what, they’re a part of me. I will never be just me; I will always be Dalish. My people will always be there, and I will always have to care about them. However much more love and trust I had for you, the fear was even greater, and I couldn’t—Dorian, I almost lost them, and it was my fault because I was wrong about someone I loved, and I couldn’t take that risk again, I couldn’t. And that’s all I can say for myself, is that I was afraid.”

(please forgive any typos, these are first drafts u.u)

[illegiblewords]

A Quick Critical Role Interlude

Most recent ep so spoilers ahoy if you haven’t watched.

I was !!! a lot after the ep and am still feeling that way, going to try and gather my thoughts.

- I keep going back to the exchange between Jester her dad/the Gentleman and honestly that endeared him to me a hell of a lot. I want to re-listen to that bit when I can and think it’s seriously being underrated by fans right now.

Jester never told the Gentleman before that moment that she thought he might be her dad. She didn’t even hint at it. As far as he knew previously he just had one of his hired mercenaries asking about his real name and past out of nowhere. I was honestly worried he might put a hit out on the Mighty Nein and/or the Ruby to make sure there was no paper trail.

Instead, when Jester FINALLY reveals that she asked all those questions because she thinks he’s her dad, in the middle of the night and straight out of nowhere, asking if he’s proud of her etc. with not a ton of response time... he just denies being her dad again BUT says that he’s glad she’s okay. He really didn’t have to include that. He could have just stuck with denial/distance. Instead Jester gets that sleepy middle-of-the-night attempt to give her some reassurance in what she’s looking for.

FROM A MAJOR CRIME BOSS WHO ONLY FOUND OUT HE MIGHT BE HER DAD MOMENTS BEFORE.

Like honestly I still think the Gentleman is shady af, but I was going with “assume neutral evil until proven otherwise” there. That went a long way toward endearing him to me and adding complexity.

- Opinion on Essik: ZONE OF TRUTH THE SHIT OUT OF HIM THEN ASK IF HE IS WORKING WITH THE CERBERUS ASSEMBLY. IMPORTANT INFO TO GIT.

As of now that is my biggest worry with him. I had previous chatter with @nilim on him, personally I don’t think his main position is torturer/torturer of Yeza. My sense was that he is a spy and his role is information gathering, but not necessarily that his main workplace is the prison. I found it interesting that he even could be persuaded to do the Jester hug and that imo he seemed to soften a little when he understood Yeza’s circumstances.

I absolutely think he’s a social climber and has some kind of hardcore ambition going on. He was making it clear that his clan provided the Mighty Nein’s house. I don’t think that is inherently nefarious, but I do think it’s important to make sure he’s not a Cerberus Assembly enemy and to zone of truth to just ascertain motives all around.

Frankly if he can get info off the Mighty Nein too that could even be a solidly reasonable exchange. And if there’s a sense of mutual honesty that could secure a really good ally if it seems appropriate.

- I am deeply fucking alarmed about the Dairon situation and I think it’s going to be catastrophic. The Mighty Nein was all OH WE CAN WORK TOGETHER WITH HER AND STOP THE CERBERUS ASSEMBLY AND END A WAR :D but like. Dairon dismissed everything Beau said last time and revealed she was super closed-minded on the Krynn Dynasty across the board. I think she’s going to treat Beau like she’s guilty of treason. That’s to say nothing for HOW THE HELL ARE THEY EVEN GOING TO MEET???? Like the Mighty Nein are totally being watched and if they try to meet with an Empire spy and get caught that could fuck them irreparably. If they tell anyone in the Krynn Dynasty (AND THEY NEED TO VET WHOEVER THEY TELL WITH ZONE OF TRUTH OR JUST MESSAGE THE EMPRESS DIRECTLY BECAUSE THEY GET A CERBERUS INFORMANT THEY ARE FUCKED), assuming that Krynn citizen is sufficiently high rank and honestly loyal to the Dynasty as opposed to a Cerberus ally, they still might just arrest Dairon. If nothing else that scene is going to be monitored af and Dairon’s role is going to be compromised. It might keep her alive and open some kind of negotiations but even then it is fragile af especially given Dairon was completely opposed to any peaceful involvement with the Dynasty.

- WACCO/WACO/??? IS A HUGE PROBLEM AND I GUARANTEE HAS BEEN DEVELOPING A NEXT LEVEL WAR ATROCITY THAT WAS BEING PUT INTO COMMISSION USING THE MINES THE MIGHTY NEIN SAVED AND SHE IS NOT AT ALL TO BE TRUSTED. Out of everyone shown legitimately I trust her the least and I think the Mighty Nein are going to have some major angst from working with her.

- Yeza is going to lash out at Nott at some point. I think she’s moved into taking him massively for granted and has been completely missing the level of urgency in getting him AND HER SON to safety. I don’t know if Luke is okay or has been captured already. Caleb said he was assuming once they came out to the Empress the Cerberus Assembly knew about them. We have zero reason at all to assume Luke is safe. And if he’s not, especially if on top of that Wacco is setting horrific things into motion, I guarantee Yeza is going to be pissed. That entire situation is a goddamn time bomb.

And frankly, Nott let him and their son think she was dead for years because of her insecurities. They were in mourning. Yeza was raising their son alone for years because of this. And once she gets back with Yeza she just dumps her being a goblin and all this on him and, once he lets her know that what happened to her won’t make hm love her less, she just is thinking about reunion sex and running off again to do shit for the Krynn who abducted her husband in the first place.

We haven’t seen Yeza pissed but seriously. I am waiting over here for that shoe to drop.

- People have been posting about Yasha possibly being a pre-Calamity fallen aasimar where the missing chunk of her memory is thousands of years long. I SERIOUSLY think this might be a thing.

- I’m not so alarmed by the religion surrounding the Dodecahedron at this stage, particularly since other gods are being shown more explicitly as permitted in the Dynasty. The goblin shrines went a long way on that front. I also think having drow leave one evil religion (Lolth) for another would be unbelievably cliché and dehumanize their race. Personally I am assuming that the religion itself is a neutral factor.

- Fjord needs to be more honest with the group and I think he’s right on with looking for an alternate combat method. I’m currently still going watch-and-wait with him. It would be insanely interesting if he swapped one calamity-age entity for another by shifting to the worm or the phoenix though haha.

- I’m very very suspicious on what’s going on with the King that Crawls and how the Wildmother answered Caduceus’ question on that front. I think there was something about his questions that prevented more detailed insight.

- The attempted invasions from the Abyssal plane and the atrocities committed tied to hunger and enslavement/the King that Crawls are totally linked and suspicious and the Mighty Nein needs to pull this thread harder. They are totally approaching the main villain shit but not quite there I think.