#the chef assumed one

[atinydragon]

Rat Manor: New Friend

The rat’s first food run is cut short. So Sam decides to try it her way. She ends up in a messy situation.

[masterlist]

(contains some grossness)

Sam whooped as she jumped past the last two ledges and landed at the bottom. It was less graceful then normal since her fake leg wobbled a bit.

"Sam!" squeaked Willow above her "Be careful."

"Come on, I'm starving! We didn't get anything yesterday!" she laughed She should be full on apples right now but thanks to a certain someone she got a cup thrown at her and nearly fell to her death. Then attacked by a broom. And then spent a whole night hungry because Willow thought it'd be too risky to go right back to the kitchen.

There was a whoosh as that certain someone landed beside her.

Sam glared at the glittering fairy. They had insisted on coming along, to "ensure they got proper food". As if she'd just grab whatever scraps were in the bin. She wanted to tell them to buzz off and wait their turn.

Unfortunately Willow had agreed that it would be best for as many of them as possible to go on the 'food runs' as he called it. They needed to build up a supply of food. Which was a very sensible reason and Sam couldn't find a way to argue it. Still she wished Button had at least come along to balance it out. But the smallest rat had decided to stay back and gather fabrics to make beds for everyone. If Sam wasn't so horrendous with needles she'd have just stayed behind to help Button.

Glimmer glared right back at Sam.

"Okay you two," Willow hopped down to join them. "Please get all your bickering out now before we're in open space."

"I don't have anything to say to her." Glimmer crossed their arms.

"Me neither" Sam continued to glare at the fairy.

Willow groaned and walked ahead leaving the other to walk side by side while ignoring each other.

After a quiet but tense walk, the trio reached the huge oven that marked their entrance to the kitchen.

Willow peered out into the room.

Sam leaned over him to do the same, accidentally hitting him with her bag.

The kitchen looked the same as last time. Though now with a distinct lack of convenient fresh food sitting around. And the giant from yesterday was already here, fussing with something on a counter across the room.

"Drat." said Willow "We'll have to turn back and try again later."

"What, why?" said Sam. She did not want to have to climb back up hungry again!

"Because the orc is back?" said Glimmer "Can you not see her? She's taller than a deer."

Sam growled back at him.

"Stop it." Willow cut in between them "We'll just wait until she leaves."

"That'll take awhile. It looks like she's the cook." said Glimmer.

"Oh come on, we should be able to do something now." She looked back out into the room. The giant had disappeared. But before Sam could gloat about it, the giant walked back in carrying a tray of food.

She set it down at the counter and began doing some sort of chopping or peeling? It was an awkward angle.

Sam craned her neck to see where the giant had come from. Tucked away in the far corner on the same wall as the oven was a door Sam had missed the other day. It was wide open now. "Did you see that?" she said "They must keep most of their food there!"

"Sam we can't go out when there's a giant." said Willow.

She was about to argue when an idea hit her. "But look, it's right along this wall. The tunnel also goes that way. Maybe we can make another hole there?"

"I don't know" said Willow "She's clearly going in and out. Might still be risky-"

Sam walked off back into the wall. No reason why she couldn't just check! She turned left instead of right and raced through the dark tunnel. Navigating through plenty of stormy nights meant it was a breeze for her to dodged the bumps and pipes throughout.

After she got what she thought was the distance between the entry and the door she stopped and looked around. Well, more so felt the wall. There weren't any cracks she could feel. Certainly none that let any light in. Must have just not gone far enough.

Sam jogged further in and tried again. Still nothing. Maybe. The walls were bumpy and craggily.

Who knows how to tell what was just a crack and what was one that went all the way through the wall. Willow probably. This was how he lived, in the walls of giants. Leaving him behind hadn't been the best move...

Too late though. So Sam would just have to continue without.

Sam pressed forward through the dusty tunnels. It was becoming rather eerie. She was in silence for one thing. No other rat or giant were nearby. Just the faint creaks and groans of something deeper inside the dwelling. She hadn't even seen signs of a living bug. They should be swarming the near ancient thing but they weren't.

The darkness was also starting to play tricks on her. Sometimes she'd go to duck under a pipe and put her paw on it only for it to touch nothing. Or she'd swear she saw another tunnel leading off the one she was in but then be unable to find it if she went back.

Thankfully there was a pin prick of light ahead. Sam rushed forwards towards it. "Ha!" she thought "Knew there would be a way in. Just not used to judging distance inside is all." As she got closer she could feel a faint breeze coming from the light. Odd since any hole would lead inside-

Sam skidded to a stop, falling onto her butt, as she nearly fell down an entire foot drop.

The light was not in fact coming from a room in the dwelling but from the very sun.

Her legs were dangling outside of the walls as the hole was in the stony exterior.

It looked out to a work yard. The grass had long since been stomped away leaving dirt and pebbles. A shovel, couple pitchforks, and a random assortment of other tools were scattered about. The neighs of horses could be heard from somewhere nearby. A small staircase led to the wall almost right next to the hole Sam was in.

"Welp." said Sam to herself "This certainly isn't where they keep the food."

"It's not?"

Sam nearly fell to the ground again. She wiped around expecting to see that dime witted fairy smirking behind her. No one was there.

"Over here!"

Sam looked back out at the yard. She noticed a hulking metal monstrosity tucked in the corner where two of the dwelling walls met.

Perched on the edge was a fairy waving enthusiastically. She was very clearly not Glimmer as her hair was too long and her wings were shaped entirely differently. In fact she was probably a pixie rather than a fairy.

Somewhat hesitant Sam waved back.

Before either of them could do anything else a door banged open.

Sam's head rattled as the door creaked in protest of the abuse.

A giant stomped down the stairs unnoticing. He looked entirely different from any of the four giants Sam had seen so far. But at least wasn't as weird as the ghostly scaled one from yesterday. The giant was carrying a large bulky bag. He walked to the metal bin and chucked the bag inside.

Despite the clattering and clanging, the pixie kept her balance on the edge. She was even still smiling.

Without so much as a glance at the pixie, the giant walked back inside the dwelling. Closing the door much more gently this time.

"OOOOO!" squealed the pixie "Maybe this one has food! Or shiny things! Come on let's look I'll share!" she dove down into the bin.

Sam wasn't too sure anything edible was in that bin given what she could smell from here. She looked back into the dark tunnel. Groaning, she climbed down the stone walls. No way she was going back empty handed.

The stench only got worse as Sam approached the metal bin. And so did the unending buzz of the flies swarming it. Maybe it would be better to go back empty handed...

The pixie popped back out. "Is this food?" she held up an apple core. What little insides were left were very brown.

"Not anymore." said Sam as she tried to not look completely disgusted.

"Aww, darn." the pixie dropped the core back into the depths of the bin. She jumped up and out of the bin and fluttered down to where Sam stood giving the rat a clearer look at her. She was short. Not as small as Button but more so than Willow. She was grinning ear to ear showing the pointed teeth she had left. Her hair was long and matted. A ridiculous amount of scarves were wound around her neck and streaming down her body, her ribs poking out between them. A thin cloth that should have been replaced ages ago was wound around her waist. Her bare feet were caked in dirt.

Sam snapped her eyes back to the pixie's "Yeah I don't think you'll ever find food there."

"I guess so, it's been a week and I haven't seen anything" said the pixie. Her expression not changing "Me dad used to find food all the time in bins like these. Then one of 'em fell on him. Guess that's a sign. My name's Moss what's yours?"

"Uh, Sam?" she spluttered. Had she heard Moss right? The pixie had really sped past her father's death.

"Nice." Moss grinned more "I like it. Got any food?"

"Thanks, but no I don't have any."

"Aww no I guess we're both starving for the winter." Moss plopped down onto the ground. Her grin lessened but still present.

"What, no. I know where's there some." said Sam.

"Really?" Moss was back on her feet, standing on tippy toes to get way into Sam's personal space "But I thought yous was looking for food out here?"

Sam stepped back "Well kinda? I know where the food is I just couldn't figure out how to get to it."

Moss seemed to get the message and stood down "How'd you do that?"

"I thought I could get in through the walls, but instead I went out."

"You were inside the walls?" Moss gasped "In there, you can do that? How?" she pointed to the dwelling.

"The walls are hollow, mostly, so you can walk through them." Sam pointed to where she came out of "Look there's a hole there."

Moss squinted at the wall for a moment before her eyes widened. She squealed, run jumping into flight and dove right into the hole.

Sam blinked as she looked at the spot the other fae had just been in.

"Come on Sam! Let's get foood!" called Moss.

Still a bit dazed Sam complied. She couldn't help but stare at the grinning pixie as she did so. It probably wasn't a good idea to keep helping the first sap she bumped into...

But as she climbed up back into the crack between stones she caught sight of Moss's ribs and decided that okay, this one last time was fine.

Besides, it would be helpful to have the glow of a fairy's wings. While Moss's brown ones didn't give off as much as Glimmer's golden ones, it was a good price for not having to deal with the annoying fly.

Sam walked in front leading back into the tunnels. Every so often she'd have to turn and get Moss's attention whenever the pixie caught sight of a pipe. "Okay." said Sam "Keep an eye out for cracks and holes and that stuff. We need to find a way into where the giants keep their food."

Moss intensely eyed a bump in the wall next to her.

"No, like one you could walk through."

With her eyes locked onto Sam's, Moss slid behind the bump.

Sam walked around to face Moss again "As in through it into the actual dwelling."

"There's more?!" Moss looked genuinely awestruck.

"Oh there's way too much more. Let's go."

The two continued on, inspecting the wall as they went. Moss seemed to have gotten the memo and was keeping up with Sam while doing so. Hopefully.

"Oh look! I see something!" Moss slipped around Sam and dashed ahead.

Sam raced to keep up, just barely seeing the shockingly fast pixie zip around a corner. Finally she reached where Moss had went to...

Right by the oven.

"Look how big this is!" Moss walked right out into the open.

Sam followed, looking around to see that the kitchen giant had left.

"You don't look happy, is this not where the food is?" Moss was still smiling.

"Sort of?" Sam was still looking around "This is more where they prep the food. I was trying to find a way to where they store it-oh!" The door she had seen earlier was still wide open. Shelves and boxes could be seen lurking inside. "Looks like we can get in through something bigger than expected." Sam marched over to the door.

Moss followed after.

Both of them were soon in the room. It was much smaller than the kitchen but it was packed full of food. Jars, boxes and cans lined the shelves all filled to the brim with food.

Sam spotted some apples and imminently climbed up the shelf they were on. She rolled a juicy one away from the others and chowed down on it as she watched Moss zip around the room.

"OOOO look these things are full of green stuff! I didn't know you put stuffs in them." Moss gasped "What are those!" she dove down headfirst into a jar that had been left open. Popping back up with a cherry hanging from her jaws. She made short work of it and dipped back down for another.

Sam finished what she could of the apple. She was stuffed. "I'll just relax for a sec" she thought "then I should find something to bring up to the other two. Ah, and I should ask Moss if she wants to join-" Sam looked up at the pixie.

And saw the giant standing in the doorway.

The giant was the same as earlier. She walked in, past the shelves where the fae were, and began moving around jars and cans in search of something. After a very long few seconds she found it and left the little room none the wiser.

Sam groaned and brought her knife out to get some apple chunks to pack into her bag. She motioned for Moss to get over here once it was full.

"What's up?" Moss landed on the wood, dripping juice and half covered in cherry skin and chunks. She looked just as unfazed about a close encounter with a giant as before.

"We gotta go, that giant is apparently going to be walking in and out all day." Sam said as she began climbing back down the shelf.

"Why?" Moss fluttered next to Sam as the rat climbed "She didn't see us. Big folk never do."

"Oh she's seen me before." Sam hopped down to the floor "Tried to smack me with a broom. She missed but I'd rather not give her a chance to hit."

"Really? You must be bad at glamour."

"I don't have much magic so yeah." Sam walked ahead.

"What's magic have to do with it? You just gotta stand really still." said Moss genuinely.

"I... let's just move." Sam already gets headaches from hearing fairies chatter about how magic works, she really didn't want to hear about pixie magic right now.

The giant was still in the kitchen. But she was engrossed in whatever she was doing so the two fae were able to skitter right back into the walls unnoticed.

Until Sam nearly trampled Glimmer.

"Gah, what the-" Sam started.

Glimmer turned. The fairy was covered in dust. Some was entangled in their hair, making it look fuzzy.

"What happened to you?" said Sam.

"Cleaning." said Glimmer wearily. They looked Sam up and down and then at Moss "You?"

"Got lost... found her." she motioned to Moss.

"Hi!" said Moss.

"Then..." Sam looked down at herself to find she was covered in apple juice which had then picked up all the dust Glimmer had missed. "I got some apples." she opened her bag and offered some to Glimmer.

Glimmer raised a brow and took out one of the chunks. Which was already browning at the edges. All the same they took a bite.

"You guys want a bath?"

"Yes!" Sam said with more enthusiasm than she wanted "Where though?"

Taking another bite, Glimmer motioned for them to follow as they walked back out to the kitchen.

[egophiliac]

crossing my fingers and wishing upon every star that chapter 10 finally brings us the tweel cards 🤞🤞

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Remembrance and Forgetfulness

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[television-for-dinner]

I know what most people are excited for in the new season of The Righteous Gemstones, but I am equally excited for another hit Aimee-Leigh Gemstone ear worm that I will listen to 80 times per year

[fujoshimoley]

i actually know about kirby outside the context of smash bros or memes this makes me better than literally everyone i know irl and i am not joking

[kraviolis]

huntlow is one of the most superior m/f ships ive seen in recent years mostly bcus hunter has cried on screen 10x more than willow. also she will pick him up and throw him into a pile of pillows and hunter will just scamper back over for her to do it again like a small dog

[bbybrahms]

I headcanon that Brahms didn't kill Emily and it was an accident not because I'm a pussy that can't handle a problematic fave but because I like how much sadder it all is if it wasn't even his fault but his parents still make him suffer 20 years for it

[lenievi]

I need every Confrontation to include "no lol no" from Javert when Valjean's like "pls gimme three days"

[flugame-mp3]

SEASON NINE FINALE WAS WILD. I HAVE MANY MANY THOUGHTS. WHAT JUST HAPPENED. A FUCKING ROLLER COASTER FOR SURE

[kneworder]

pouring one out for fanfiction.net user enigma731 you truly were the greatest chameron warrior the world has ever seen 🫡

[unhappy-sometimes]

when i was a kid, a new family moved into our neighborhood. my parents wanted to welcome them, so my dad made a bowl of salsa and went over with my mom to introduce themselves. the husband of the new family was very excited when he got the salsa—he was a professional chef and as such no one ever made food for him because they always assumed he’d think it was bad, just because he was a good cook.

the moral of the story: give your artist friends art! give your writing friends writing! and give your chef friends food! even if they’re “better” at it than you. i can assure you that they’ll love it regardless because it came from you.

[hauntingblue]

This volume is called ace's introduction. Nothing more to say.

"You hire comedians here?" He is so funny....

Who's gonna tell him..... He literally will never get a break

Ace being so proud of Luffy not accepting to join and being a little shit... Also right here is where I got ROBBED of my acesan content.... Also he does fight whitebeard... In marineford... GOD!!!!!

GOOOD TAKE ME INSTEAD!!!! TAKE MEEEE!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHH

You cannot see me but I am on the floor on my knees and I am crying and sobbing and hitting my chest asking the gods to spare him

[phanboyo]

Everyone, immediately: yeah yeah, evil alternate universe Batman, we've all seen it. Good alternate universe Joker??? I mean it's not technically unheard of but it's really not as common, and still a little bit of a new concept. Like, who would ever think the Joker would be the good guy? Especially if Danny mentions he has an evil alternate future self who kills everyone and takes over the world??? Everyone's immediately like, oh yeah that sounds more like what we'd have expected of an alternate universe Joker.

"But don't worry guys I screamed at him and now hes in a thermos outside of time so that universe doesn't exist anymore." <<Danny doing more to protect people from the ""Joker"" than Batman ever did, or so think the JL.

Haha kidding.

But still, the idea of a good Joker is so strange, people think that Danny's just pretending to not be a horrible person so that they let their guards down and he can set up an evil plan to stab everyone in the back. It takes a while for them to warm up to him. Especially when he brings up weird science haha

I like to think that some Gothamites saw a confused Baby Joker step out of a portal and immediately thought time travel. This must be Joker before he became the clown prince of crime. Quick someone kill it before it becomes more powerful!

But when Joker sees internet videos of a confused Baby Joker stepping out of a portal? 50/50 whether it's fight on sight or a new protege with some good taste. It probably changes from moment to moment tbh. But even if he decides on the latter, he's immediately outraged as soon as Danny takes more of Batman's attention than the Joker does, let's be honest.

Danny, seeing another billionaire vampire wannabe taking an interest in him:

In other words, this kid is definitely not like any Joker Batman's ever seen before lol

Oh! But can you imagine if Danny mentions Red Huntress as the frenemy ("well, she thinks we're enemies but I think she's starting to warm up to me") who's always trying to shoot him? And he refers to her as Red? "—with this red mask on all the time and new gadgets she steals from Plasmius—yeah the rich vampire guy—cause she used to work with him but now she hates him—" and now they're all convinced she's Red Hood's alternate universe counterpart?

(Not) Another Joker

Over time, effects from Danny’s ghost form starts to bleed over into his human form.

His skin gains a deathly pallor. His hair turns white before gaining an ectoplasmic green tinge. When he smiles, it looks just a bit too wide to be human.

He, completely coincidentally, looks a lot like the Joker.

Not that he realized that fact for a while. Sure, Joker’s crimes may make the news sometimes, but it’s not like anyone in Amity Park paid that much thought to a criminal in an entirely different state. The connection just… never occurred to anyone.

Well, that was until Danny ended up in Gotham for [dealer’s choice of reason—college, vacation, runaway, etc]

Because then everyone noticed, and it started to cause lots of problems for him.

[beloveds-embrace]

(Arranged marriage to duke john price except it means you married four instead of one 👁️👁️)

Your marriage to Duke Price is one out of necessity: you need a husband before high society begins rumoring you to be a barren woman and too old to be married off, and Duke Price needs a wife who is able to take on Duchess duties of his duchies.

You do not expect love, though you suppose it’d be a nice bonus. You are merely glad that Duke Price is a reasonable handsome man, and he informs you on your wedding night that he will not force himself on you, and there is no need to immediately begin attemtping for an heir.

You take admirably to your new duties, have been raised practically for this purpose though the head butler Kyle is wonderful in helping you as well- actually all the servants have been wonderful towards you. You have regular dinners with John, though they are a bit stilted but at least Chef Johnny’s food is good enough you can easily forget the tense atmosphere. You can tell your husband is hiding something- you are sometimes barred from going to his office to him, certain rooms are not allowed for you, and you are not allowed anywhere near the letters addressed to him- but as long as it isn’t hurting you, why should you bother him? So you never ask, and he seems happy enough that you don’t.

Until you accidentally stumble upon him and Duke Riley exchanging tongues. Very heatedly, hands grasping and tugging on each other’s clothes and Duke Riley sat on your husband’s desk.

It’s hot.

What’s not so hot is the way they both look at you when they realize you are there. You stutter, face a red so fierce it’d put a furnace to shame, and bolt out of the room despite hearing John call your name.

And you also skip out on the dinners for now, pretending you are sick with the help of your maids and their makeup skills.

But suddenly, it’s like your eyes have been opened. It’s not just Duke Riley who seems to hold a part of your husband’s heart; the one time you gather enough courage to maybe go speak with John and address the situation, you see Kyle stumbling out all disheveled and flushed, though he has a very satisfied air around him. He freezes when he sees you, and your jaw drops.

“My lady-“

“I- I’ll just- I’m taking a walk! Alone!”

You go to the kitchens instead, hoping that Johnny would have something delicious you can eat. Maybe something cold enough to wash away the blush on your cheeks.

Johnny is weirdly silent, however, even as he whips up chocolate mousse for you. His silence is not normal, it feels… almost guilty…

You sighs, take in a deep breath, and gather your dress. “Johnny… are you too…-?”

“Aye, m’lady. But-“

You can’t take it anymore. You leave the kitchens, and go straight back to your bedroom to bury your face in your bed. It’s not as if you are upset! It’s just- a rather befuddling situation?

Two nights later, it’s John himself who comes to you. You had assumed it was one of your maids returning with a new jar of oil for your nightly hair routine, but it’s your husband. You are glad it’s winter, and you aren’t simply in a thin nightgown.

“Wife.” He says, voice steady yet strained.

“John.”

You can’t call him husband. You’ve spent the last two days thinking and you were… rather sad. You were in the way of whatever they had (you saw Kyle and Johnny kissing, Johnny specifically sending food addressed to Duke Riley), weren’t you?

John sighs, sitting down on the settee while you remain on your vanity. After a moment of awkward silence, he opens his eyes and looks at you. “…what do you want to remain silent about this?”

You blink, raising an eyebrow. “…huh?”

John’s fists clench. “How much do you want in return for your silence?”

Frowning, you set your brush down and fully turn to him even if you feel exposed despite your thicker nightgown. “Is this about your… partners?” You say the word delicately, then shake your head. “I want nothing, John. If you are worried about me starting anything, I won’t. I just… hope this doesn’t mean you will divorce me?”

Being a divorced woman might as well be a death sentence on its own.

He looks at you, shocked into silence, and you quickly explain; his relationships have nothing to do with you and you aren’t a petty woman, who are you to come between what he and they have? You only hope this won’t take away the protection this marriage gave you.

That night, thus, you and John reach an agreement you are sure both of you are satisfied with.

Except, months later, John is no longer satisfied.

With the ice broken between the two of you. The dinners have become so much more… relaxing and comfortable, far less than they had been. No secrecy was needed when you were around anymore, and you only giggle and look away, feigning innocence when they share tender kisses between one another… and the less polite kisses.

John can’t remain satisfied with this arrangement. You are such a sweet thing, now that he’s become to know you far better. He can see the way his men are looking at you now, something between fondness and hunger and want; Kyle helps you far more often now, despite your insistence that you can do it yourself. Even when you do it yourself, he stays by you and ensures you are comfortable.

And he joins your evening walks, arms looped as the two of you speak, laughing and giggling.

It’s similar to your late night chats with Johnny, where he plies your full of sweets and desserts until even your dreams are full of sweeter kisses you are sure will never be for you. Johnny, who cooks your favorites on hard days and who you heard from Kyle is even more serious about only having the best of the best in vegetables and meats and seasonings.

And Duke Riley… for all his stoicism, he is gentle with you. Even when he’d stared at you with doubt and mistrust, no doubt believing you to be lying to John and simply waiting for the shoe to drop and for you to ruin them. Yet it never happens, and now, during the galas you attend all dolled up on John’s arm and ignoring all murmurs about still having no children, you even dance with him and giggle at his terribly dry jokes, even share a few of your own with him.

Steadily, slowly, obliviously, John has watched each of his men fall for you. This, obviously, made you theirs. It made you his, more and more than you already were.

It’s why your current request is making him clench his glass in his hand, with Kyle looking on in displeasure as well, giving him subtle glances.

“-So that’s why I was asking, John,” you remain sweetly oblivious, adorned in a pretty dress Simon had gotten for you recently. “He will not spread any rumors, I’ll personally make sure of that-”

Your cheeks darken then, and you glance away. “I- I am… merely a bit- unsatisfied, if you understand my point. And the stable man is loyal to you, he wouldn’t say anything.”

It’s clear he needs to keep a better watch over you. Where and when did you even interact with his stable boy, Graves? Though he focused on your words.

Unsatisfied.

Well, he can’t have that, can he? You’ve done your wifely duties so admirably, it’s about time he took care of you as well… and maybe dealt with the baseless barren rumors as well. A baby would keep you nice and content and focused on them alone, wouldn’t it?

Oh yes. Yes, it would.

dukedom au masterlist

Part two

[lewisvinga]

don’t judge a book by its cover | alex albon x fem! reader x lily muni he

summary; fans seem to hate y/n and her ‘cold personality�� without knowing the true reason

fc; various girls on pinterest

warnings; hate comments, cursing

all works taglist; @goldenmclaren @namgification @c-losur3 @minkyungseokie @lavisenri @ollieshifts

note; requested ! i hope i portrayed alexithyma good enough😫

masterlist !

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liked by lilymunihe, alex_albon, and others !

yourusername: end of the week

lilymunihe: my princess chef it was so scrumptious like u 😋🥰🥰

yourusername: it was just pasta, lils

lilymunihe: n it was gordon ramsey level amazing

alex_albon: what a pretty lady 🤩

yourusername: u can’t see my face ??

alex_albon: but i just know ur gorgeous

username: why are her replies so… cold

username: dis girllll

username: lily and alex are always appreciating her in the comments and she can’t even show a bit of love back?💀💀

username: icl y/n is pissing me offffffff

username: OMG SAME she acts so cold towards lily and alex😭

username: they deserve sm better😕

username: yall don’t know her???? maybe she’s just like that??

username: but she can’t even be affectionate a bit towards her gf and bf?? it’s weird cmon🥱

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liked by yourusername, alex_albon, and others !

lilymhe: “alexithyma, also called emotional blindness, is a neuropsychological phenomenon characterized by significant challenges in recognizing, expressing, sourcing, and describing one's emotions.”

this is something that our dear y/n was diagnosed with years ago. yes, she doesn’t express her love in words or pda, but she expresses her love in other forms. she’ll make 2 separate dishes for dinner just because alex and i want different things. she never forgets to get us coffee during her daily morning runs. she always attends races or tournaments to support us.

so yes, she doesn’t necessarily show her love through words and pda, she shows it through her actions. we love her and she loves us. never judge a book by its cover, because alex and i truly feel her love everyday by her actions.

tagged; yourusername, alex_albon

yourusername: oh my

yourusername: idk what to say ?????

alex_albon: thx a lot lily🙄

lilymunihe: sorry i jus wanted to defend my girl🙄🙄

alex_albon: MY?????

lilymunihe: sorry OUR girl

yourusername: ?????????1&9/8:8/

alex_albon: look u broke her 🙄

alex_albon: if you all could kindly fuck off and stop assuming things about people you don’t know that’d be great💙

yourusername: alex u have a public image to maintain??😀😀

alex_albon: who cares? they’re hating on you for no reason and i just want to defend our girl🥱

yourusername: ourgirlakxjaodk

lilymunihe: U BROKE HER TOO!!

username: mis padres

username: THEY COULD NEVER

username: EXACTLYYYT CALL THEM OUT👏👏

username: like i said, you all don’t know her so why judge someone so quickly 🥱

username: I’VE BEEN SAYINGGG😫

username: so true oomf

username: they’re all HAPPY and IN LOVE now LEAVE THEM ALONE!! liked by lilymunihe, alex_albon, and yourusername !

[evilminji]

Okay this is going to drive me INSANE. D:>

Dearly beloved, Phandom darlings...

Can DANNY EAT VIDEO GAME/TV FOOD?

I... I NEED to know. You don't UNDERSTAND!? Think about it. No, seriously. THINK about all those HIGHLY unrealistic, too good to be true, PERFECT looking meals. Animated shows n games etc where there are chefs who will "cook for Anybody!"

Now think about being 14 going 20. A teenager. A broke college student. Your fridge is empty and everything you touch? Comes back to LIFE. You're... you're just so hungry. Tired. Your bruises have bruises and you have a paper due tomorrow.

I kinda want to CRY.

Can only eat cup ramen so many times before you DO.

And this show? That commercial? Yonder cooking game?? Well... they did a REAL good job animating it. It looks so WARM. So FILLING and COMFORTING. You can practically SMELL it.

You look down at your sad, soggy, cheap but you can afford it, EZ Noodles and? Feel something BREAK inside. You... you KNOW you can travel inside technology. KNOW this. Have done it before. Why... why AREN'T you? You can't keep living like this.

You gotta TRY, right?

I? Wanna believe it TOTALLY works?? Because Ectoplasm is weird like that? And just shrugs? Says "actual food, the concept of food backed by electricity, what's the difference? Sure, we can fuck with this"? And so Danny? IMMEDIATELY fucking switches his diet.

Like? Dead stop screech, slam on the breaks, u-turn to take that last off-ramp. Type IMMEDIATE.

Grocery bill? No, no, you mistake him! No. NOW it's his "carefully researched for their cooking, games and shows" bill. Touch his collection and he'll FUCKING BITE.

They got sticky notes on the cases. Menus n lil fold out "grocery store" locations. He punched a dragon for this fruit. Mmmmm, home cooked meeeeeals~

Just? Weird Foodie Danny. Yes he DOES know what those steaks taste like. While YOU fuckers were staring at the cat girls bizangas, HE was eating granny cat lady's home made meatball stew! Ha! YOU FOOLS!

More then that? I want him to write reviews. Like "yeah, fight system was OKAY but- *5 hour glowing rant about the food, sounding like a food critic who'd actually fucking gone and loved it* " and people are like?? Who? Is this funky lil madman? This is hilarious?

I want it to be DPxDC JUST? So everyone slowly starts to play the game "Meta or Shtick?" Because no one REALLY knows who he is. This dude gets POPULAR though. For some reason can't be hacked (shame on you guys! Way to try and ruin the FUN!). And like? Eventually? Someone just fucking ASKS?

And Danny is like... " wouldn't YOU like to know, weatherboy?"

So everyone is like:

"Meta."

But hey... since they're already ASSUMING~? >:3c WHOOOOO wants to help him PAY RENT~? Let's VLOG this fucker! Wooooo! Say "hi" Catchef! *feline noises* like? It's like a let's play combined with a mukbang.

Teen Heros everywhere are FACINATED. Game developers are suddenly like? "If there's food. You BETTER make it look amazing. We want that weird YouTube twink to... whatever his powers are, our game! Free viral marketing!" Food channels? Rending their clothes, on their KNEES, please! PLEASE! Just ANSWER OUR EMAIL! Just ONE SHOW! A one off! Guest appearance!

We have MONEY!!!

All while Danny? Is finally happy with his life. Weird as hell. Harrasing the world. Good food on the regular. Gets to travel, kinda. Best of all? He's raising money from it! Can help people! Now... who wants salad?

@babbling-babull @hdgnj @hypewinter @legitimatesatanspawn @spidori @dcxdpdabbles @the-witchhunter @lolottes