#the chance of a pov change is high so im a bit stressed but like

[etrevil]

What if Wells appears in the new chapter tonight? What if Adam? What if Verlaine finally makes his entrance? What if Aya actually has an ability and gets revealed? What if Bram just falls with the table? What if we don't get the aftermath of Dazai's death for another month because it's a pov change? What if-

[constellaj]

I do adore your gay Lucky in Love rewrite. But I do wonder how you do a rewrite within the actual episode. Such as Dash's POV of the water park shenanigans (I'm convinced that that the water guns are filled with soda, to get the sprayie sticky) and Dash's POV of the "We're dating now!" hallway moment (maybe Kawn can ask Dash if he's okay) and begrudgingly acknowledging that "Paulina" likes Danny (the look on Dash's face and the "jerk, I mean pal")

I would say that the thing that ought to be redone in Lucky in Love is the characters motivations, for nearly all of them at points in the episode.

I do not buy that Johnny would have wondering eyes when he so devoted to Kitty, and the whole "to make the ex jealous" is a lame trope and Kitty was way to affectionate to Danny for that. I would buy that moving from the ghost zone to the real world is stressful adjustment (hiding from the Fenton ghost hunters and such) could inspire fights and they break-up. And Kitty tries to be on her own for awhile but doesn't know how to handle that, and gets re-bound feelings for the only other eligible ghost-boy around (which Shadow catches wind of which makes him furious and he tries to kill Danny before Kitty make "horrible mistake"). Kitty should have purposefully picked Paulina to possess because she's a high-profile girl who Danny is already crushing on and mean enough to "not deserve" to be in control. And when Danny finds out the truth, I think Kitty could have added the threat of physically hurting if he didn't comply (such as I like Kitty, she has zero qualms about completely taking over others girls lives and expending them, which is scary).

The A-list being a literal exclusive club with limited members is too dumb to be silly. But friend groups splintering and shifting due to one or more friends changing, or when newly-dating teens unintentionally neglect their friendships, is something I do buy. Dash could be so livid about his best-female-friend suddenly and inexplicably dating his crush that he becomes unbearable to be around even for Kwan, who might want to try to make new friends, and give Sam and Tucker a try.

As for Danny, when he found out that Paulina was being possessed by a girl ghost the whole time, it seemed that his initial concern was getting Paulina back in control of her own body, which is the correct response. But then it shifted to him feeling "suffocated" by Kitty. His discomfort should have stayed on the fact that Paulina was being dated against her will, which should make Danny feel sick with guilt.

This turned out longer than expected. You can pick and choose what to respond to if at all.

----

(tl;dr for anyone who doesn’t know my lucky-in-love-but-gay rewrite:

Johnny and Kitty are taking a couples’ break, and Shadow, who feeds on romance, is whining like a spoiled dog about it. Shadow goes to find another hopeless romantic to possess to eat up love, and encounters Dash watching the romance channel. Dash gets more and more flirtatious, ghostly, and adopts a biker aesthetic as Shadow pulls at his emotions; not fully possessing him, but amplifying his feelings. Shenanigans ensue when Dash can’t decide if he has a bigger crush on Phantom or Fenton. Danny has to find a way to get Shadow out of Dash before Dash becomes reliant on him. Kitty needs to get Shadow back because, if Johnny doesn’t have Shadow, he becomes much more vulnerable.

biker dash art / full ep post)

this is all super fucking inch resting and im publishing this so the rest of the world can see but like generally speaking i think lucky in love is a shit fucking episode all around and it really can’t be saved. johnny and kittys dynamic is so petty and so inherently “Haha i hate my wife right boomers” that I cannot accept it as a way anyone would actually act and for that I don’t think the episode could ever really be “good.” I like to think of johnny and kitty as hapless mushy lovebirds. their only ‘couple fights’ are saying things like

{ID: a discord script I had with @crystalfloe​. it reads: Johnny: Well what do you want me to DO? You know you’re at fault too here- what about all those road trips huh, constant road trips with you snuggling me from behind?

Kitty, scowling: You gave me a BLACK ROSE on my birthday, you KNOW that’s my favorite color!

Johnny: Yeah, you got me the EXACT part I was wanting for my bike even though I only said the name once! You just REMEMBERED!

Danny: Woah hey let’s not fight here.... does this count as fighting?

Kitty: YOU spent the entire day I was sick making me food even though you had a BOYS NIGHT planned!

Johnny: YOU’RE just a BEAUTIFUL LOVING PERFECT PERSON! And now Shadow’s a glutton for ROMANCE!

Kitty: Well maybe if YOU weren’t so SELF SACRIFICIAL and full of UNBRIDLED CARE AND INTIMACY he WOULDN’T BE!

Johnny: How DARE you say I’m the more loving one and therefore the PROBLEM-

Kitty: I’m really starting to hate you and your CUTE FACE, Johnny!

Johnny: Yeah- well, I’m starting to get real sick of your adorable EYES, Kitty!

End ID.}

If you want to rewrite Lucky in Love, to me, you have two options: absolutely decimate canon, or work within it. Decimating canon (ie, making Dash gay) comes with also deconstructing Johnny and Kitty’s toxic relationship into something actually worth rooting for, which in turn unravels the entire episode because the premise is... it’s a bad relationship. If you want to work within canon, the episode as is is pretty much the best you can get, because no way in hell would they let Dash be gay in canon.

While your takes are interesting, it’s not the kind of media I personally would like; the whole “Kitty could have added the threat of physically hurting if he didn't comply“ doesn’t sit well with me at all, so I can’t say it’s something I would ever engage with, personally.

Also, I don’t need canon to be 100% serious all the time, personally I love the bit about the A-Listers having a formal club with like, paperwork and stuff, it’s genuinely funny and also provides a nice clean-cut metaphor for how Danny as an “unpopular” kid might view the way the popular kids work. I don’t think the writers thought that was actually how popular kids work, I think they were playing with it and expanding on how a kid might see it.

You’re right that the focus of the episode should have been on Paulina’s bodily autonomy, which I think the OG was lacking in even as is because we didn’t get anything from Paulina’s POV; she’s treated more as a prop than a person, which, yikes.

But in summary, while this is interesting, none of it is how I would rewrite lucky in love if given the chance; if canon-divergent, I’d probably tweak the biker dash concept; if canon-compliant, I’d try to make it more of a jokey episode, maybe making the conflict between Kitty and Johnny a “I have to get him a secret birthday present without him knowing” instead of a “I am going to make him jealous by cheating on him.”

[gosh-im-short]

Prejudice Painted in Our Minds  Chapter 1

Summary: Lillian and Calum have always been at odds. The two have never been able to get along and that never doesn’t seem to be changing any time soon. But when they both learn that Calum’s sister and Lillian’s best friend, Melanie, is dating a guy they both don’t approve of, it seems they have something in common after all. 

Warnings: uh nothing so far. a mutual dislike for Kyle and some jabs at the dude 

word count: 3.6k 

a/n: okay first of all i really want to thank Hailey @talkfastromance4​ for helping me with this fic. she’s been letting me just blabber about it for a bit now and im really happy it’s finally coming through yay. i don’t have a face claim set for Lillian (unless me but lets be realistic) or Melanie so hopefully my descriptions don’t suck too bad. and hopefully the pov shifts back sense as well. anyway umm I hope you guys like it and if this flops ah uh we’ll just never speak of it

taglist: @galcalirwin​ @tea4sykes​​ (if you guys wanna read this that is)

  The steady beating of her finger beat down onto the high table as Lillian waited. Melanie was suppose to meet her for lunch, but so far the woman hadn’t arrived yet. She started to chew her lip as she brought out her phone. No notifications yet. So maybe she was on her way? Hopefully she hadn’t forgotten. A slight smile crept up onto Lillian’s face. Melanie had a habit of forgetting that is for sure. 

  But as she took another glance at the cafe’s door, she saw her best friend rushing down the sidewalk outside of the cafe. Lillian’s smile widened as Melanie opened the door making a chiming sound appear and walked in. The eighteen year old, dark skinned and black haired woman looked disheveled with her pale yellow sweater dipping down from her shoulder. She looked over and caught Lillian’s gaze before she walked over to her. Lillian looked slightly up as Melanie came and sat down at the table. 

“Sorry, I’m so late. Traffic was a pain.” Melanie exhaled as she set her skinny forearms down onto the table and rested her chin down on them. 

“It’s fine.” Lillian said with a wave of her hand as she glanced down at her friend. Melanie was on the side of... Well... dramatic. She tended to be over dramatic at times and made life seem like it was suppose to be filmed. Was it a little ridiculous sometimes? Yes. Did Lillian want to throw a table sometimes? Absolutely. But she didn’t. Why? Melanie was her best friend and if that was her best fault, well she couldn’t let that come between them. 

“Did you order yet?” Melanie asked as she rose her honey brown eyes up at her. 

“Oh no not yet.” Lillian said as she glanced at the register. “I wanted to wait for you.” A small smile came onto Melanie’s lips. 

“Well isn’t that sweet?” 

“And also make you pay for your own stuff.” Lillian decided to throw a tease at the woman. 

“Hey.” Melanie said with a grin before she reached out and ruffled Lillian’s brown hair. 

“Hey yourself.” Lillian laugher as she fixed her frizzy hair. And she just got it somewhat perfect too. Sigh. 

“It’s not my fault my parents are stingy about my allowance.” Melanie said with her signature pout. “They usually let Calum get it first.” But at the mention of her adoptive older brother, Lillian’s face fell. If you measured the amount of love that Lillian had for her best friend, then you would be able to equal that to the hate she had for Calum. Oh yes. Calum. Just the thought of his name made Lillian’s nose wrinkle. 

  While Melanie was easily the light of Lillian's life... her step brother was an entirely different subject. He was the bane of her existence to put it simply.  The one that always was in the back of her mind like a fly that was buzzing around her head. And there were times she really, really wanted to slap him. Metaphorically or physically? Both. 

“Ah. I see.” Was all that Lillian said with a slow nod. For some reason Calum always had a bone to pick with her. From the first day she met him, he was always rubbing her the wrong way. And she never did anything to him. He was just... Calum. In every annoying way he was. 

“Lilly, are you listening?” Melanie’s voice rang out into her thoughts. Lillian sat up more. 

“I- no. Sorry I wasn’t.” She apologized with a shy smile as Melanie sighed. 

“Its all right.” Melanie said with a a wave of her hand. “I was just talking nonsense anyway.” 

“Oh well umm... should we order?” Lillian offered with a tilt of her head. Her brown locks dipped down and touched her bicep. 

“Sure.” Melanie said before the two of them stood up and walked towards the cashier. 

  The café was a rather popular place. It was nestled in on a corner in the downtown part of the city. It was Lillian’s favorite place because of classical music and it served frozen coffee. Frozen coffee was far superior to iced coffee in Lillian's opinion. And coffee would always top over those disgusting liquid leaves. Ugh. She chewed on her lip as Melanie ordered a very sugary drink along with a pastry that also had a lot of sugar in it. Melanie was always that type of girl with a loud and unashamed laugh followed with a snort out of her button like nose that just made anything and everything that much funnier. The teachers in their high school had learned very quickly not to let the two of them sit together.    Once Lillian finished ordering her coffee and bagel (with cream cheese of course), she headed back to the table. Melanie was already sitting down and gazing out of the window. Her thin eyebrows were pulled together in a furrow as she stared out. Huh. Lillian sat down in front of her. She was definitely thinking of something. Lillian looked down at her miniature hands. She had discovered a while ago that if Melanie wanted to tell her something that was bothering her, oh she would definitely tell it.    A couple minutes passed in between them in which the calm and understanding quietness existed. Lillian scrolled through her phone to see what posts she was tagged in. Melanie did the same thing while chuckling to herself about something only to shove her phone into Lillian's view to show exactly what was funny (which happened a lot since Melanie laughed at sometimes the most dumbest stuff.) Lillian stayed in her seat with her ankles crossed and her forearms settled on the table until her name was called and she had to rise, mostly awkwardly because of the tall table that she had chosen.    Once seated, she situated her iced coffee and the wrapped bagel down on the table along with her napkins and knife. And just... just when she was about to bite into her cream cheesed bagel- Melanie spoke up  "So I have something to tell you." Melanie said in a sort of rushed manner. Lillian slowly set her bagel down on the wrapper.  "Uh- yeah. Shoot." She said as she gave a glance down at the unbitten bagel. Then she looked at her friend who was chewing on her bottom lip. Uh oh. This something... was going to be something it seemed.  "So uh- it's something I've been meaning to tell you for a while now." Melanie said as she clasped her hands together on the table. "You see.... there's no easy way to say this." She exhaled a laugh as she looked down and away from her. Lillian shifted in her seat uneasily. "I have a boyfriend."    Lillian's eyes went wide as she stared at her best friend. Of all the things... she... she can't be serious about this. Melanie took a chance and glanced up at her friend with an awkward smile on her face.  "Surprise?" "I... umm... wow." Lillian breathed out as she... well. It was definitely a surprise. "How long have you two been together?" "Two weeks now." Melanie answered with now a shy smile. She propped her elbow onto the table and leaned her cheek into her palm. "And he, so far, has been a dream."  "Ah... well uh- wow. This is great." Lillian said as she sat up straighter in her chair. "I'm happy for you." And she was, but... just.... she wished Melanie would have said something about it before now. "But uh..." She cleared her throat awkwardly.  "Why I didn't say anything?" Melanie finished for her. Lillian offered a short nod. "Well.... to put it simply... you wouldn't have approved of him." Lillian titled her head confused.  "What? Why not?"  "Well..." Melanie trailed off and looked to the side.  "Do I know him?" Lillian started to fill in the gaps as she leaned closer to her friend.  "Uh... yes." Melanie was fiddling with the bracelet adoring her wrist now.  "So... who is he?" Lillian asked as she studied her friend. Then... wait. "It's not Dylan right?" Melanie's brown eyes flew open as they snapped back up to her. "Because you promised you would not go back to that cheating son of a-"  "Oh- no." Melanie interrupted as she flapped her hands around like a frightened bird. "It's not Dylan. It... it's Kyle." And at that- Lillian's jaw fell.  "Kyle? The guy who was always high on powerade?" She said as she stared at her best friend in disbelief.  "Yes... but that was in high school! We're in college now." Melanie reminded her with a nod as if that made it completely fine. "Yes- but... he.... he's... Kyle." Lillian stressed out the name of the long haired, Naurto loving... man. It seemed he was more of a child most of the time. And the fact that he just looked like he did crack half of the time as well? Ugh.  "I know." Melanie said with a sigh as she looked back at her. "But he... you just don't know him." Lillian rolled her eyes.  "I know him well enough to know that I just... don't like him." She defended her opinion of the man. Melanie let out a frustrated sigh.  "Yeah, yeah... I know. Which is kinda why I delayed on telling you." Lillian bit on her lip. Then she slowly exhaled.  "I... I can't really stop you from dating him, but I... just..." Her words trailed off as she reached up and moved her hair back. "I don't want you to get hurt again." Melanie reached out and placed her hand on top of hers.  "I know. I know you don't me to get hurt." She told her friend softly. "But I trust him. He's a good guy." Lillian just bit her lip and nodded a few times.  "If you say so." She mused before she was sipping her cold coffee. Melanie was quick to switch the subject to a different one. Lillian mostly listened and nodded as Melanie rattled on with her story. It was usually like this- Melanie speaking and Lillian listening. But Lillian didn't mind, she liked listening to her friend speak. She had a certain way with her soft voice, but loud expressions. Melanie could make even the most boring story full of life like she was Persephone.   Then the two were standing up from the table and sharing their goodbyes. Lillian headed out of the café with the sun glowing down onto brown hair before she disappeared down the sidewalk and out of Melanie's view. Melanie smiled to herself before she turned and headed down the sidewalk herself. The rising heat of the sun warmed her dark skin as she headed back to her apartment. She and Calum shared an apartment together. Calum was currently working during the day so she didn't expect to see him anytime soon.    So it was a sudden surprise when she walked into the apartment to see her older brother lounging on the couch. Calum was clad in sweatpants- as usual- and was spread out on their couch. His attention was on the screen of the tv sported in front of him until his head swerved over to her as she closed the door.  "Hey." He said rather casually as he looked back at the screen.  "Hey. I thought you were working today?" Melanie questioned as she came further into their living room and stood next to the couch.  "Yeah me too, but," a one shoulder shrug paused his words, "I requested a later shift." Melanie nodded a few times.  "Oh okay. Move the leg." She directed her older brother before he did as she said. Calum learned a long time ago that if he didn't move the leg, the leg would be sat on. She sat down next to him as he fixed his position on the couch. Her brown eyes landed on the tv screen as a comedy was playing with it's laugh track appearing. She bit her lip as she stared forward before her eyes drifted back to her brother. Well.... she told one of them. Might as well try to tell the other. "So Calum." She started out while clasping her hands and looking down at them. At the sound of his sister's voice, Calum looked over at her.  "Yeah?" He asked with one of his thick eyebrows raising. What was up with her? "There's something I've been meaning to tell you." He sat up a little bit more and looked over at her. His silence only prompted her to continue. "Uh so uh- I told Lillian this morning about this but-" "Oh so that's where you were. With Lilly." He interrupted her as his eyebrows rose further. Melanie gaze met his with an annoyance sparking in her brown eyes.  "You know she hates that nickname." She stated flatly as Calum fought the desire to smirk. And that was the reason he referred to her as that. "Anyway as I was saying.... uh..." once again that nervous expression was back on her face. "You see... uh.... I have a boyfriend." What.  "You have a what." Calum repeated as he stared at his sister in shock.  "A boyfriend." She repeated as she looked down at her hands. He couldn't believe this.  "Who?" He questioned as he turned to face his sister completely on the couch. Then... oh. Oh no. "It's not Dylan right?" To his surprise, a huff came out of her lips.  "No it is not Dylan. It's Kyle." Calum was sure his eyes were going to bulge out of his head.  "Kyle?" He repeated after her. He couldn't believe this. "The Kyle from high school? The one I'm pretty sure took drugs?" "Oh for the love of- Kyle does not do drugs!" She exclaimed while throwing her hands into the air. "He's a very sweet guy actually and we're dating and I just wanted to let you know." His lips pressed together as he studied her. Her eyes were now directed on the screen firmly. Her hands were clasping around the ends of her sweater.    Slowly a sigh exhaled out of him. Melanie could be very stubborn about some things. Whether that be her opinion or her life choices. And it seemed this was going to be one of those times.  "I... all right. Can I meet the guy?" Again he wanted to add, but decided not to mention the infamous moment of Kyle spilling his drink on his shirt that one time... no. He had not forgotten. Melanie's eyebrows rose and she gave him a quizzical look. "What?" "You... actually want to see him?"  "Yeah... sure. See if he's actually changed." Or if his sister is just believing in the best again. She was silent for a few moments. Then a slow smile came onto your lips.  "Sure. We can all go out to eat tonight, that is... if you can make it there."  "Make it an early dinner around five and sure."    Melanie nodded as he turned his attention back to the tv screen as she pulled out her phone. Maybe it was time to kill two birds with one stone.  __   Lillian checked her reflection in the mirror as she smoothed the fabric of the navy dress over her hips. It was a dark blue that was snug against her waist and was sleeveless as well. There were splotches of glitter across her torso that fortunately didn't dig into her chest. The dress stopped at the base of her knees in a flowing manner while the upper level of it was snug against her body. Over all she thought she looked rather well in it.    She hadn't done much with her makeup except her lashes, brows, and lips and she had pulled her brown hair back into a low bun. For one it drew more attention to the silver jewelry she had on her neck and for the fact that her hair was quite frizzy.   She picked up her purse and her black heels before she was making her way to the door of her apartment. She slipped on her heels and a black coat before she was making her way out. Her apartment wasn't entirely large. It consisted of two medium sized bedrooms, a kitchen that flowed into the living room, a bathroom that connected in between the two bedrooms, and a laundry room right next to the kitchen. Well okay maybe it was a little big. But there were apartments that were bigger.   The sounds of the rushing past cars greeted her ears as she stepped out of the complex and onto the cleaned sidewalk. The click of her heels corresponded with her steps as she walked down the busy street. The cars flew wind at her exposed legs and she hugged her coat closer around her body. The restaurant Melanie wanted her to meet at was only a few minutes away from her apartment since she lived practically in the middle of the city. Lillian had been surprised at Melanie's offer for them to spontaneously have dinner at a quite expensive place hence all her get up. But she had understood once Melanie mentioned the fact that Kyle was going to be there. And she had said she wanted to meet him. So even though she had planned to stay snug in her bed this night, she decided to put on that dress she's been saving for a nice date and get out of her apartment.  __   Calum stepped into the dim lightened restaurant and immediately sought out his sister. She had left a few minutes before him (somehow she had gotten herself ready in record time) and had gone to pick up Kyle it seems. The man didn't have transportation apparently. Some of Calum's building up annoyance disappeared whenever he spotted his sister at a white clothed table in the distance. He walked across the carpeted area until he was standing at the table.    Melanie paused her talking whenever her dark eyes met his and a smile blossomed onto her face. Kyle turned in his seat and met his gaze as well.  "Calum! Long time no see." The toothy grinned man greeted him before he held out a tattoo covered hand to him. Calum mentally grimaced as he glanced down at Kyle's pale hand. It looked... sweaty. But he forced himself to reach down and shake the man's hand.  "Yeah... been a few months." He answered as his dark eyes met the man's bright hazel ones. Kyle's dark hair was pulled back into a messy bun at the back of his head. It made his forehead and nose stand out that much more. Kyle didn't seem to have that much of style still it seemed. He took a seat in front of his sister who had a nervous look on her face. Then... wait. Why was there another setting next to him? He was about to ask before Melanie suddenly stood up. "Lillian! You made it!" Calum froze at his sister's words before he slowly turned.    His dark eyes met Lillian's bright blue ones as she stared straight at him. He swallowed as he took in her open, painted red mouth that hung down as her brows were risen. She was... definitely not expecting him, huh? Well he wasn't expecting her either. He gave a glance at his sister as she sat down before he turned his attention back to Lillian. She was walking towards him now with the sound of the skirt brushing against her bare legs greeting his ears. He swallowed as his eyes drifted downwards before they floated back up to her. The dress was absolutely stunning on her. It complimented her eyes making them an even brighter blue and he had to admit the dress fitted her curves quite well. But the hair... it was too slicked bad. Too kept back. It exposed her neck and collarbones, sure, but he never liked it whenever she had her hair pulled back or up.    She slipped into the seat beside him and for a brief moment her knee bumped into his. Calum swallowed as he faced away from her and back to his sister.  "Kyle, it's nice to see you again." Lillian greeted in that overly too soft and sugarly sweet tone she always used with someone that was younger and less mature then her. Calum almost rolled his eyes.  "Yeah wow. Lillian, you look great! It has been a while, hasn't it?" Kyle commented as a grin was set on his face. Calum picked up a menu and started to browse through it.  "Yeah it sure has. Umm you look great too." She politely said as Calum gave a glance forward. Kyle was wearing a dusty old shirt and probably jeans. Great was very overexaggerated.  "Thanks." Kyle answered back as Calum turned his attention back to the menu. The prices were the first thing that stood out to him as he browsed through. Melanie had certainly taken them all to an expensive place to get to know Kyle. Irony was that Kyle was still... Kyle. Clad in probably a band t-shirt and worn out blue jeans. It looked like he was never going to change. A loud clap suddenly got Calum's attention as his eyes diverted back up. "So? Who's hungry?" Kyle asked as he looked around the table with that same stupid grin plastered on his face. Mentally a groan wanted to come out of Calum's mouth. This was going to be a long dinner. 

[sagemoderocklee]

Ooh, directors commentary on TAOL?? I know it's an epic so maybe just on the chapter where Lee and Gaara are traveling in Jade Country :3

sorry for letting this sit in my ask box for a couple days. i got kinda sidetracked and then had to go back to work today, which is not a fun time tbh but the evils of capitalism and so on....

anyways, im thrilled you asked for this particular part of TAoL because I absolutely loved that chapter (x) and put a lot of work into it between building up the culture of Gyokukakushin and making sure all the Arabic and Chinese I used was legit (which is partly why it took like 4 months to write). plus the chapter has a lot of great GaaLee moments that make me really happy.

one of my biggest downfalls as a writer is how long it takes me to actually finish anything. as i think most people who follow my writing know, i tend to prefer lengthier stories with lots of heavy politics, and that tends to mean that the build up of romance takes a while... which is again how i like it. i prefer a slow burn--a proper slow burn, not these 2k fics tagged slow burn. i mean, 100k into the story and the most you’ve got is an accidental hand brushing another and some intense eye contact... which admittedly TAoL has given more than just a little bit of physical contact and intense staring, but my point is that when i say slow burn i mean S L O W

anyways, onto the actual director’s commentary

So, Jade Province--as it’s not a country in itself, but a province within Wind Country--is a sprawling section of the south-east portion of Wind. I started building Jade Province and its capitol, Gyokukakushin sometime before I started on Ch10 of TAoL, but it was all a very loose idea. I’d initially conceptualized some things about it for the one shot I wrote, Keepsakes, because I’d been doing some background work on the Kazekage lineage and the culture surrounding the Kazekage family--such as arranged marriages, treaties, etc.

My idea is that Karura and Yashamaru are actually from Gyokukakushin. They would have been the children of a person in the political sphere within the capitol, and the marriage between Karura and Rasa would have been arranged early on and she would have been sent to Suna as a pre-teen or teen so that she would feel that Suna was home. I imagine she and Rasa would have married sometime when she was between 18-20. This was the main reason Rasa was able to take on the roll of Kazekage, based on the family tree I built up for the Kazekage line--he was the only one who was married and could produce heirs.

Not that any of this ever comes up during TAoL. In fact, Gaara doesn’t even realize that in going to Gyokukakushin he’s actually visiting half of his ancestral home. However, there’s a lot of fun hints about his connection to Gyokukakushin if you recall the many mentions of the color the same shade as Gaara’s eyes in that chapter. This was a specific nod to his heritage, and something that the locals definitely would have been fascinated by because there’s lots of significance surrounding that particular color in the region. I also wanted to use the reference to his eyes to highlight Lee’s particular fascination with Gaara’s appearance, and especially the element of Gaara’s eyes and the many ways he looks at Lee.

The biggest challenge within this chapter, of course, was the fact that I was using languages I’m not familiar with and had to find a good place to gather resources. Thanks to @ghoste-catte I discovered that reddit (of all places) has a translation subreddit which I was able to use to help bring that aspect of the story to life in an organic and respectful way. My Japanese is rusty, but I have a much better grasp on it than I do Chinese or Arabic, and so I spent many, many, many, many, many..... many hours searching for resources, watching YT vidoes, at the bookstore--I even bought a small book on Arabic. In the end, the subreddit was way more helpful than anything else because it allowed me the chance to get more concrete explanations from native speakers, so I could understand exactly why something was said the way it was. Most of the phrases used in that chapter aren’t really Gaara saying anything special--things like “be quiet” or “stop”--which I usually alluded to with Lee racking his brain trying to drudge up the vocabulary Gaara has taught him.

However, there’s one line--which I hope people did not turn to google translate for--that makes me especially happy, and that line really would not have been possible without that subreddit. I think the best part about being able to successfully navigate the challenge of using other languages is creating the same confusion Lee feels for those readers who doesn’t know those languages, and for those who do, offering them a nice glimpse at what’s going on that Lee cannot grasp. It’s fun and really changes the experience for each reader.

Language is such a beautiful and intricate aspect of people and culture, and my biggest fear with approaching the use of Arabic and Chinese was not only saying the wrong thing, but being disrespectful. So it was an incredibly good experience, and I was incredibly lucky to receive the help I did!

Building up the tension between Gaara and Lee was something I’d really wanted to execute well, too. It’s not often I write stories where the romance doesn’t start from scratch. With TAoL, Lee needed to already be in love with Gaara, and that was a big stress for me because I’m constantly asking myself: is this earned? I think one of the biggest failings of fanfiction is that people don’t ask that question. You really have to ask if your romance is earned. If your character growth is earned. If a redemption arc is earned. And I constantly worry that I’m moving too quickly with romance in particular, especially for Gaara and Lee. I’m not big on putting them together without a lot of development, and I’m not big on established relationship fics (that aren’t sequels) for them either. I like the work it takes to get them together, I like the journey of getting them together. And I don’t like it to be easy.

But for me, TAoL is one of my best actualized works. I think Alliance really helped me build the skills I needed to execute a story like TAoL on so many levels--from the complicated political landscapes, to the cultures, to the relationships between each character. And so I do feel like Lee being in love with Gaara at this point in their lives makes sense, and does work despite the fact that we didn’t see him fall in love with Gaara during the course of this fic. There are subtle nods to his feelings for Gaara in the early chapters, but I didn’t go too hard at indicating those feelings until really the second Lee chapter, this chapter I’m talking about now. I think there were some hints in the first Lee chapter--the chapter where he broke Gaara out of prison and whisked him away from Suna--but I tried to keep those things to a minimum, partly to not over do it and ease people in to that, and partly because I wanted to keep the suspense alive surrounding the real purpose for Lee being in Suna.

So when they get to Gyokukakushin, it really gave me a much better chance at showcasing his feelings. There were moments prior to Gyokukakushin, but those were from Gaara’s PoV--like the moment within the destroyed village, Myoujou, where they’re hiding from the group of shinobi and Gaara’s trying desperately to get Lee to focus his chakra enough to mask it.

But the success of that particular moment is lost on Gaara because he doesn’t really know how Lee feels about him at that point in time, so his impact on Lee is entirely lost to him....not to mention he’s dealing with a lot of grief and trauma, so he hardly has the wherewithal to be paying attention to whether or not his rescuer is secretly in love with him.

One of my favorite tender moments is this one:

“Do you have a favorite word?” Lee asked, before a yawn interrupted him.

“In Indigosi? Or in general?”

“Both.”

Gaara glanced at Lee from the corner of his eye. “Affection,” he murmured, almost as though he were afraid to admit it. “In Indigosi...” Gaara was silent, his gaze shifting away from Lee to the window. A warmth spread across his brown skin, a blush rising on his high cheekbones. “Rohi.”

He looked down at Lee, something bright behind his eyes.

Heat burned Lee's face like an inferno. “What does that mean?”

Gaara looked away again, hiding from Lee in plain sight. “My soul." The words hung in the air with some other meaning, one that Lee could not decipher. Gaara would forever be a paradox, an ever expanding puzzle for Lee to piece together. He didn't ever want to figure him out completely, but he would never stop trying to get as close to epiphany as he could.

“That is beautiful,” Lee told him as another yawn overtook him.

“I should let you sleep,” Gaara said, moving to get up.

Lee stopped him with an imploring hand against Gaara's forearm. “Stay? You did not finish telling me about your trip to Dusk Country.”

“You kept interrupting,” Gaara teased lightly, settling back into place.

Lee smiled up at him, ever so slightly cheeky. “I promise I will be quiet.”

“You're going to fall asleep,” Gaara corrected.

“Probably. It is very late.”

I love so many of the emotional scenes from this particular chapter, but I love how simple and sweet this moment is. There’s such a wealth of affection in small actions, and I really wanted to highlight that Lee and Gaara have grown closer during their time traveling from Myoujou to Gyokukakushin, and things that were born of necessity (like sleeping close together for warmth) are now things done because they want to. There’s comfort in the closeness of sitting next to one another, there’s something peaceful about Lee falling asleep while Gaara talks to him. It’s a nice moment, less high emotion and more quiet contentment, which I think is much needed after everything they’ve been through.

I think that my other favorite scene would be the scene on the beach, right after they’ve watched the sand artist and Gaara makes his model of Suna. That scene is a complicated affair for Lee because he’s both enjoying his time with Gaara and feeling guilty for enjoying that time together. And of course Gaara’s got a lot going on too, which Lee can only guess at.

One of the other things I really enjoyed about this chapter is the fact of Lee and Gaara being in disguise, and really the use of their aliases. I particularly like any excuse to get Gaara to call Lee “Ren”. I’m particularly in love with that stroke of genius regarding Lee’s alias, and there’s a certain emotion, a certain connection that I really hope I could convey with how they use each other’s aliases.

I could probably talk about this chapter forever, but unfortunately there’s also thins I don’t want to say at the risk of spoiling future chapters since this is still a WIP (and probably will be for a while longer, though we’re almost halfway there! Two more chapters to the halfway mark!) Thank you so much for sending this particular ask anon! I had fun chatting about it and I hope you enjoyed reading my comments! 

[gamegrumpiess]

Dont Forget About Me PART 2

Hey guysss!!! I kept my promise and gave you a part two of Don't Forget About Me. Buckle up and sit back because there's a lot in this one.

Y/l/n -> your last name

Danny x reader

Warnings? Nah

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FLASHBACK TO 2015

Y/n’s POV

After I graduated, I ended up moving to California to pursue my voice acting career. But as it turns out, it's much harder than it seems. Not a lot of opportunities pops up right away for an inexperienced voice actress. So I ended up working in a rocker clothing store down the street from my apartment. It actually pays really well and my coworkers are nice as well as my boss.

Today is one of those rare days where it's really fucking slow. There has been no more than five customers all day. That is until four new customers walked in. Three boys and one girl, (looking really no older than me) all laughing and making jokes while walking around, checking out the items. I didn't mind them being kind of loud, it was a nice refresher from the constant heavy metal they play on the radio here. I love rock and roll as much as a coke head loves drugs, but when you listen to the music constantly every day it's nice to take a break.

The female, somewhat shorter than all the boys with long dark purple hair and having a rocking attitude, came up to me. “I love your style! Do you get a discount on all the dope stuff here?” Her voice was a little rough, like she just got over a cold, but still sounded like silk when she spoke. “Dude, rad hair! Is blue your favorite color too?” The tallest boy with long dreadlocks and somewhat smudged eyeliner, wearing a lot of spikes and leather all around his body. He commented on my dark blue hair I just dyed a few days ago. It was nice refresher from my usual h/c.

All four of them looked at my style in awe with wide eyes. “We’re in a band, how would you like to come see how we sound? I'm Tyler, I play the drums.” Tyler points to the tall boy with dreads. “That's Jason. He's lead guitar.” Dreads, who I now know as Jason, walks up to me and shakes my hand. “And then this is Maxwell, the bass guitarist. But we all like to call him Blade.” My curiosity peeked up. “Why do you guys call him Blade?” Blade comes up to me and shows me his switchblade, perfectly sharpened and shiny. It looks like you could cut yourself just by looking at it for too long. “I carry this with me at all times. Never know what kind of crazy people are doing now-a-days.” He explains to me. Finally, the girl speaks up to me. “I'm Claudia. I'm the girl who does all the screamo in the band because I can't sing for shit.” She says with a cute smile on her face. None of them look any older than me, but I guess no one can really be sure.

“I'd love to check you guys out. What's the name of your band?” Tyler perks up, “It's called Toxic Nightmare! We made it when we were all in high school. We've been struggling to really get our music out there, and we have a pretty decent big fan-base, but we always wanna do better. So it would mean a lot to us if you gave us your opinion?” I nodded with a smile. “I'm down! My shift ends in about 20 minutes, would you guys be willing to wait until then and I can tell you guys then?” They all nodded in agreement. Little did I know, that would be the day when my life got way better.

BACK TO PRESENT 2018

That same day, we all went to their rehearsal area so I could hear them play. Although I did like the way Claudia sounded since she put so much passion and emotions into her screaming, I thought it could use some actual singing. Sadly none of them knew anyone who knew how to sing, so Claudia had the idea to have me try and sing. Turns out, my singing voice with her screaming sounds really awesome. Next thing I knew, I was officially part of Toxic Nightmare as the new lead singer. All of us have grown insanely close. I really consider Tyler, Jason, Blade, and Claudia as my family.

Since i've joined TN, we've really blown up in terms of getting our music out there in the world. It feels like so long since I've met them, as if I've been with them my entire life. My mom and step dad enjoy my music, which is insane considering they're devoted Christians. Jacob, now that he's older says him and his friends listen to our music as well.

I hear my phone ringing, my mother's specific ringtone I put for her a year ago. Her favorite song she dedicated to me when I was 7.

"Helloooo?" I hear movement, and then my mother's voice through the microphone. "Y/n!! How are you, my daughter? What time is your flight?" I smile to myself, thinking how I can't wait to spend the holidays with my family. Well, the ones that care about me anyway. My biological fathers side of the family disowned me after they found out what I do for a living now. And most of my mom's side of the family doesn't really talk to me as much anymore. "I'll be there by tomorrow at 8:00 in the morning." I fill her in on all that's happened this week. We have a new tour coming up in 2019, all around America. We also made sure that our last stop in the tour is in New Jersey, so my brother can come to our concert since itd be close to his birthday. "Oh! Y/n, Debra and Avi are going to spend the holidays with us! Daniel is coming here as well. Have you talked to him at all?"

I shake my head, somewhat forgetting she can't see me. "In all honesty, mom, no. I've tried to contact him a lot, but his number changed and I really don't want to go asking Avi and Debbie his number. I feel like that's kinda creepy." She takes a bite out of her food before answering. "Well at least you'll see him soon, you can catch up with him then," I hear yelling and movement in the background. "Okay hun, your brother and his girlfriend is here, I'll talk to you soon! Much love to the others."

She hangs up the phone and I sit there for a few more minutes. Dan's gonna be there. I'll get to see him after all these years. The last time I saw him was so long ago, I think about three years on the fourth of July. We talked for a bit, his girlfriend at the time took a dislike to me the minute she saw me, so I didn't have much time to talk to him. I know he's finally living the dream he's always had, and I'm more than proud of what he's doing. I listen to music during the times when I have a breather, which is pretty rare since I'm part of TN. Now that I think really hard about Dan, I remember how much I liked him when I was younger. All those years ago having this huge crush on his lanky, dorky self. Before my mind can go any farther, I force myself to go finish packing everything I need to go for the next two weeks. I hope and pray everything goes well, Im excited to see Avi and Debbie, and Dana, and Dan.. focus, y/n. You'll have time to daydream on the plane.

DAN

"I appreciate you picking my up from the airport, Mrs y/l/n. I thought it'd be a nice surprise to my parents for the holidays." She shakes her hand at me with a smile on her face. "I don't mind, son. You know I consider you part of the family. I have to pick up y/n at the airport tomorrow morning too." My head shoots up at the mention of her name. "Y/n's coming?" She raises an eyebrow and gives a small smirk. "Well yes. She took some time off to come here. Her last time off before her big tour coming up. She's been working so hard, I'm glad she's taking a break. Especially with us." I nod my head, slowly zoning out and daydreaming about seeing her again.

Before I know it, we're home. I thank Mrs y l n once again and give her hug before making my way back to my house, which is still across the street.

TOMORROW MORNING

I wake up at 7, which is insanely early for me. Mrs y l n should be leaving to pick y n up soon. I can't stress how proud I am of her. Toxic Nightmare is one of my favorite bands. I even showed Arin and Brian some of there songs. Y n's voice is like heaven, and her band mates are all super talented. Everytime I have a chance I listen to their songs, watch their music videos, I've even seen some interviews they've done. (Only real true fans know that her and I were really close back in the day.) She's grown into a beautiful woman, amazing voice, beautiful body, a hard-working mindset. In all honesty I've grown to be a fanboy for her. She's funny, too. She's been featured in several YouTubers videos and she's made me laugh each time. Arin likes to tease me about my little crush on her. But trust me, I can't be blamed. She's practically my dream woman.

I've zoned out so much, I didn't realize Mrs y l n getting in her car and driving away. She's told me she sees me and y n getting together. I mean, I wouldn't mind that. These two weeks are gonna be a hell of a ride...

TO BE CONTINUED ONCE AGAIN

[voltagefangirl19]

MC as a hitwoman hired to kill the bidders (his POV)- Soryu Oh

I think this is one of the longest and hardest hc/fic (I don’t even know anymore Dx) that I’ve written, I don’t even know if its okay, but if even one of you enjoy it then it’s worth it :D part 1   part 2 Eisuke’s version  story: written, brain: dry, quality: low Im forcibly removed from the fandom

I was in my office, exchanging anxious glares between the document I had in front of me and the phone, like the past two, almost three weeks now, waiting for Samejima to tell me if ______ was alright. I knew from the second day of the month, that I was being targeted, although I didn't know by who, whoever was stalking me must have been stalking _______ as well, so I assigned her a pair of my subordinates as bodyguards. The first day that happened, both guys came up to me with an unbelievable story: supposedly, ________ was chasing me and protected me from a guy that was going to kill me before they could intervene, I didn't believe it at first and I wanted to ditch that thought, but it kept bothering me so I started my research, and I realize that there was a dark part of her that I didn't know...: she was a hitman, a hitwoman more accurately. 

I had to avoid her for an entire day for the information to sink in, after all, how could a girl so sweet and nice as her be a killer? How was it possible that the only woman who cared for and treasure me, my only sunshine, be a murderer?, I thought that it would take an eternity for me to accept that my beautiful and nice girlfriend wasn’t as innocent as I thought; but then I realized that I missed her, that I was now attached to her, it was a very odd feeling, a very needy one, so I made up an excuse for not contacting her. I was a little hurt that she didn't tell me anything, but as much as I love her, I would wait for her to tell me everything her heart desired. At least that was what I tried to do.

While I was at the office, I made my own little research about her company, a very famous one in the underground actually, and apparently, ________ was one of the top killers, honestly I didn’t know how to feel with that, in a way I was proud, but... ever since I knew her and knew that I was in love with her, I wanted her to be as far away as she could of the evil and darkness that was surrounding me, yet there was the probability that I was wrong, since I didn’t know since when she had joined that company, there was a high chance, no, it was almost certain that something happened in her life that made her took that path. 

In any way I was ready to support her and to tell her what I knew, so during the second week I went to visit her to her room in the Tres Spades’ staff dorms, I wouldn’t lie, I was pretty excited to see her, since seeing _______ somehow made my day worthy, yet when she opened the door, the bandage in her arm caused my heart to sink with concern, I didn’t know why but she was still trying to protect me; that only thought changed something in me.

“I know” was what I said that day after we drank the tea that she made for us

“What?...”

“I know about your secret life” I made a pause, I could see the panic in her eyes, how a person so easy to read as she could be a killer? “I know about your job as a hitwoman” I saw ______ literally freeze for a moment, so I knew that I had to keep going before any misunderstandigs could take place “I want you to know that that doesn’t change my feelings for you nor my intention to marry you in a near future” her expression relaxed but was still tense, my eyes went straight to her bandage, she followed my gaze “What happened? and please don’t lie now” she sighed in a defeated way

“This is a scratch, but it was made by a sharp USMC razor blade�� she made a pause, probably trying to sense my response, it was an odd feeling to hear her talking about weapons, but as I kept my focus on the wound, I was more determined, so I decided that I had to get used to it “A month of fighting and to kill the former customer, the one who asked me to finish you, those were the requirements my boss gave me to resign” she said

“Do you need help with the last one?”- I asked by instinct, but at the same time, somewhere deep inside me, I already knew the answer

“That’s… already done” her apologetic look took me by surprise, more than the fact that the girl I believe was completely innocent had just admitted killing a man

“I see” that was the only thing I managed to say

“I… have one week left until I can send my resignation and to finally be free” she made a pause, then she took her purse and took out a locket with a symbol that I didn’t know, ____ gave it to me, it was cold but somehow I knew that it had sentimental value for her, she watched me observing it and then she kept talking “It’s a coat of arms…. The symbol, it belongs to my family, a family of killers” she looked at me with a bit of self-pity in her eyes “I was trained since birth to be a hitwoman, I don’t even know how to do anything else, still, I wanted to have a normal life, so I started off as a maid here in Tres spades, I… was able to live like this because I was the best, top of the class, one of the best assassins in the organization, etc. Let’s say that the freedom in which I have been living until now is the result of my hard work, I didn’t mind but then… someone asked me your head, refusing would’ve to mean putting all of you guys in danger, so after a long time of negotiation I got the best deal I could, sorry for not telling you anything earlier, but…” her voice cracked, and my hand got on top of hers instinctively

“It’s okay” I understood, even if it hurt a little to be lied, she was doing her best to protect us, the other bidders and myself “Anyway... do you need help, fighting those guys?” as usual, I wasn’t comfortable with the idea that the woman I love was in danger, yet she looked at me with a serious and confident expression

“I’m okay, after all, if I can’t do this kind of things, how could I ever be the wife of the boss of the ice dragons”

‘I really, really love this woman’ that was what I thought as I saw her cute face blushing as she just realized the things she said

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

The last day of the month clashed with an important business of mine, I was preparing the necessary ‘documents’ for the negotiation when a knock sounded on my door

“Come in” It was a surprise to see her there, especially with a concerned look on her face “What’s the matter? I don’t see you coming here often”

“I… suspect that there is going to be a second assassin today, I have done my research and I have evidence that supports that theory” she said and proceed to show me the multiple emails, contracts and bank accounts movements of the ones she thought were the hitmen responsible for today’s mission

“You know it's highly probable that this are fake right? With the intention of confuse you and make you think that you ahead of them” I analyze the information in front of me in full mobster mood

“That’s a possibility, but even so, the money movements of the organization as well as their GPS tracking and weapon logistics suggest that there’s going to be more than one assassins today”

“Well, you may be right about that...”

“Of course I am! Who you think you are talking to, Mr. Mob boss?” she asked with a smirk. I giggled at her sassy remark

“For a moment there I thought I was talking to Eisuke” I pat her head as she pouted

“Hey now, that’s not fair”

“No it isn’t” I smirked as well before pulling her for a kiss, when we part she was blushing ‘God how can she be so adorable?’ “So what’s the plan?” I asked as I assumed that she already had one, _______ just grinned as if she just had been waiting for that question.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

According to _______’s plan, we changed the location from the other gang’s quarters to a neutral port downtown

“First let's change the meeting location, here is a good place, for the mob is a neutral zone, right? And I know the place since a few of my contracts happened there” she said “After that I’ll locate myself in this building nearby, for your safety put other two snipers here and here just in case”

“And for yours?” I asked in a concerned voice

“I’ll be fine don’t worry about it” 

‘Even if you say that…’ was what I thought

“Don’t worry boss I’ll protect you, even if it’s the last thing I do” Inui said with a dramatic voice, probably sensing my stress  

“I appreciate it Inui, but it’s not myself who I’m worried about”

“________ will be alright boss, her plan was very elaborate and almost flawless let everything in her hands” Samejima added, I simply nodded, as I saw that the other party was arriving at that same moment, we walked in their direction, there were the boss and other two subordinates, one of them carried a big stack of wooden boxes

“We brought the goods, did you bring the money?” the boss asked, Samejima opened the case he had and showed them the payment, the boss nodded in approval “Let’s exchange” Samejima walked towards them and give the man with the empty hands the case, while the man carrying the boxes gave them to Inui

“It's always a pleasure to make business with you Soryu, and the Ice Dragons of course” the mob boss said while he and his men turn around and walked towards their car, we did the same and that was when happened, three loud bangs echoed in the place as well as the scream of one of the men, we turned around at the same time that the others, we all dragged our guns “What’s the meaning of this Oh?!” the other boss demanded to know

“Why don’t you ask him?”- I rebutted while pointing the guy’s bloody GLOCK G40 on the ground, the pistol’s direction was aiming to us.

“Soryu?” I heard _______’s voice in the transmitter she gave me earlier “That man is not one of the top killers but he definitely works for the organization, I’m still looking out for any other threat that could be...”

“So here is where you were”- I heard a faint manly voice and then a series of shootings

“_________!!!!” I yelled, but the connection got cut “Dammit! Samejima, take care of the rest!” I order and ran towards the building where I knew ______ was.

My heart was beating painfully and my own breathing hurts as I went up the stairs, when I reached the last floor I started to hear them, I prepared myself to shoot 

“It was a nice work you did, but I’ll end you here and take your place as the best” the same voice that I heard before was talking now, I peek through the door and saw ________ fighting for her life against two boker combat blades, one in each guy’s hands pointing to her neck, her eyes focused on mine for a second, I didn’t even think about it and shot at the man’s back, after that she took one of the blades and stab the guy’s neck, I ran to her and hugged her, without caring about the blood in her sleeves

“Are you okay?”- I asked in a bit of panic

“I-I’m fine, thank you…although I was supposed to be the one to protect you” after everything that happened she pout just because I ended up helping her, I couldn’t restrain myself and laughed, I really loved her, she was so strong and adorable at the same time

“Let’s get out of here, finish the meeting and go home, because I really want to celebrate our victory here by having some private fun with you” I said with a teasing tone, she blushed as usual, I took her hand and lead her to the exit, as we were walking I could felt her tiny and warm hand entwine with mine and I realize that we could do anything together, I wanted to protect her so bad before, yet she saved me in more ways than one…

I could say in conclusion, that this woman was the most adorable and deadly I’ve ever known, and she was mine just as I was hers        

this was really hard to write guys, no kidding Dx so...  I’ll really appreciate any feedback you guys have for me, I hope the others are easier, it may take long but I’m still going to finish this series, thank you all for your support u,u