#the cast has also used 'normal' as a metaphor for straightness

[byler-alarmist]

I just think it's funny how "Being Different" was used as a metaphor for being queer, and El and Max have both been described in the narrative as "different."

[utilitycaster]

i've seen some people say kipperlilly is neurodivergent but it's more them being like BUT THE RATGRINDERS ARE KIDS!!! and it's like yeah??? so are most of the characters in this show? it's set in high school? penelope everpetal is in hell right now? so idk why THESE kids are being treated differently

RIGHT.

I'm trying to answer a question about both the D20 discourse and the CR discourse but like. There is a post going around in the CR fandom about how it doesn't make sense to apply real-world morality to ttrpgs, which firstly is not entirely wrong but it's much more complicated than that and secondly and more importantly I'd take it way more seriously if it weren't coming from the people who threw a fit when I said that treating Imogen's powers as a metaphor for real-world queerness is reductive and stupid and who keep treating Orym's status as a guard as a member of like, the US Military. The real answer is "D&D settings have their own moral framework, and you need to make arguments based on those, rather than the real world, but there is often some overlap."

I think, as your post points out, this is one of those cases where you do need to work within the moral framework of the show. Penelope is in hell. It is a show about teenage adventurers. Two of the Bad Kids died in the second episode, famously. While I suspect they'd never cross the line of like, a serious romantic or sexual relationship between and adult and one of the high schoolers, in basically any other context the students of the Aguefort Academy are treated as children or adults based on, essentially, which is funnier. The way to get your magic GED is to battle monsters to the death. The way to graduate is to go on a full D&D adventure. It's normal for a high school senior to have access to like, Power Word Kill. The premise of this world is "D&D but in a John Hughes movie setting" and the premise of a lot of D&D is "killing your enemies is part of the story." Like, I've said this before (as has Brennan) but a big appeal of D&D is that you don't need to be patient and send a polite email and let the person who dangerously cut you off on the highway merge in because otherwise you'll get in an accident and smile through the microagressions (let alone put up with larger injustices); you can just straight up kill your way through problems and wake up the next morning fresh and refreshed with full HP and 8 hours of sleep behind you. You don't have to swallow your anger; you can cast fireball on a bitch. As I've also said before, if your entire table likes finding peaceful solutions in D&D, fine, play that way, but I came here to cast fireball and I find you preachy, boring, and stupid.

The rules of this world are "teens are full-blown adventurers and are treated as such." The Rat Grinders are on the same footing as the Bad Kids; there is no imbalance of power here (indeed, they even have the favor of some teachers themselves)! Yeah, if the Bad Kids were actually a bunch of 30-somethings this would play much differently but if they're their classmates? go off.

[vergess]

Choosing you as the most likely to give a honest and detailed answer. Feel free to delete, however.

When people are calling Israel a colony, what do they mean? The way I understand that word, a colony is land, controlled by some other country that's elsewhere and run by citizens of that country. That doesn't seem to be the case here, since most Israel citizens are only citizens of Israel, not something else, and there's no "main" country they're representing and can return to. Or are people using "colony" metaphorically here?

Before Tumblr mobs me - I don't like Israel and don't support it.

Israel began as a British colony of Palestine in the post WW1 era, around 1920. The people responsible for the genocide are almost entirely of European origin who were moved to Palestine after WW2 (in the 1940s and 1950s) to avoid returning to the homelands where they'd been given up to the nazis by their neighbors.

Today, however, the bulk of the colonization effort is managed by the US military industrial complex.

Now, there are many other people living in Israel, of many faiths and many ethnicities. The Israeli people, be they Jews or otherwise, are also not fans of the genocide, in much the same way the American people are not fans of US genocides.

But the israeli government exists almost entirely as a puppet for US and European colonial goals, and has done since the assassination of Prime Minister Rabin in the 90s.

Prior to that, there was a brief period wherein the rightfully elected leaders of Israel sought peace in the region after throwing off the shackles of British colonialism, which again founded the country and only "ended" (on paper) in the 1950s.

Israel has been a colonial effort for about 2/3s of the century it has existed, including today.

Now, this is a simplified explanation, of course. For example, although it was was a colonial effort, the "return" of Jews to their "homeland" was also a refugee effort, and a repatriation effort.

Jews never really "stopped" being indigenous to the levant even in diaspora. This is extremely obvious if you've ever lived in a Jewish neighborhood, but may come as a shock to a lot of people used to thinking of the assimilated mask Jews wear in Christian societies as our "true" selves.

My family were nondiasporic Jews until me, which I gather is an... unusual perspective that many people don't see often. You'll have to take me at my word, I think, because it's difficult to explain. But Jews never actually "became white" the way people so desperately want to believe. Some jews learned to pass for white, yes, but that isn't the same thing.

Jews, even the Ashkenazim (the "white european" ones) have a right to return home the same as anyone. And not just because I'm a fan of open borders.

But here's the deal.

Mizrahim (Jews who remained in the middle east rather than living in diaspora) are literally treated as inferior, as "arabs" (a colonial term) regardless of religion or ethnicity. To be a Jew is not enough. You have to be the right kind. This is true of other Jews of Colour in Israel as well, often to an even greater extreme, as any Ethiopian Jew in Israel damned well knows.

This also... well, I've talked about it a bit before, but this summary is also casting a very cruel light on the concept of Jewish citizenship being automatically granted in the case of Jewish descent. Which isn't fair of me at all.

In a world without all the goddamned genocide, having a reduced immigration process for the children of emigrants is perfectly fucking common and normal and many countries do it, including the US.

And this also doesn't touch upon the critical political reality that Israel exists as a place for bigots to throw their jews away instead of straight up killing us.

So, okay, this got away from me.

Basically, Israel as a state is a colony of the US (today) and UK (historic), which is armed almost entirely by the US, and which attacks targets the US deems "of interest." The fact that the colony is populated by repatriated indigenous peoples doesn't really change that.

If anything, it deepens the horror, because many of the Jews involved in the genocide against Palestine genuinely (and fairly) believe that this is the last place on earth where a Jewish person can reasonably expect religious safety. Genuinely, and fairly, believe that it's a choice between "the genocide of all Jews globally or the elimination of a single '''Arab''' city."

They're wrong, but not irrational.

In a way, the existence of global antisemitism is the justification that fuels the ongoing palestinian genocide.

Though in practical terms, it is "fueled" by US weapons. The US wants to own Israel and use it as a launching off point for US violence in the region, without the US having to take the blame.

"See? It's all just poor, innocent Israel defending itself*!"

*(entirely with US weapons and often on US orders, often with weapons given to Israel rather than purchased, solely to further destabilize a religiously and financially significant region and furthermore to instill a sense of fear of Israel's neighbors and gratitude to the US)

For another example of a colony-of-the-repatriated, you can check out the history of civil war in Liberia, after the US just dumped a bunch of freed slaves there instead of killing them. Unsurprisingly, it went fucking Badly. However, because Liberia was not considered a "valuable" colony, less study tends to be done into the complexities of that.

Or, I mean, there's always "the life history of Osama Bin Laden" which is kind of like a one man speedrun of what the US is doing with all of Israel.

Support: Patreon - Paypal - Venmo - Ko-Fi - CashApp

[asherthephoenix]

Oooh! Here's a question! What is one (1) headcanon you have for each reboot kiddo? (One for Priya, one for Bowie, and so on.)

Most of these I've had for awhile but thanks for helping me realize there were a few characters from this cast I never bothered to make hcs for lol. Some of these are gonna be sadder than others (I like making angst). TW FOR MENTIONS OF: Child neglect, transphobia, homophobia, the foster care system, child abuse, relationship abuse Caleb: Dumped Priya shortly after the season 2 finale when he realized they just weren't compatible and he'd rather just be friends (please let this be the case in s3🙏) Axel: She's related to Shawn and has a part time job as an instructor at the flower shop and fighting school. Years after the show she gets promoted to manager/class organizer

Nichelle: She's the daughter of the in-universe equivalent of someone like Beyonce or Will Smith, and so she got into acting as a baby.

Lauren: Her parents paid very, very little attention to her when she was a small child because they were preoccupied with their (full of illegal practices) circus buisness and Lauren was primarily raised by her older brother (who is 11 years older than her.) The computer was her babysitter a lot of the time and she got into creepypasta stuff at like age 4 Damien: He's trans ftm and was disowned by his parents after coming out, luckily he had a supportive aunt who took him in and allowed him to start HRT. He signed up for TD without hesitation or even bothering to look up what the show entailed when he heard he could win a million dollars because he knew he could use that money to A. repay his aunt for her kindness and B. afford top surgery

MK: Raised in the foster care system alongside her twin brother. She barely ever got anything for herself growing up and developed her klepto behavior after stealing her first video game and console (a 3DS and pokemon sun for anyone curious)

Raj: Figured out he was gay in middle school. Didn't want to come out because while he knew his immediate family would be supportive, his extended family overseas certainly wouldn't be. Needless to say his family cut contact with a lot of distant relatives after the show aired Wayne: He'd never actually had a girlfriend prior to being on TD. When the purple haired intern (who I hc started liking him after he helped her in the fear challenge) told him she had a crush on him she had to explain it very slowly several times over in order for him to understand what she meant Ripper: also had it rough growing up unfortunatley; he mentions at one point his parents dropped him a lot and told him that babies ruin everything so I don't think it's a stretch to say his parents were abusive. Axel was the first person who truly made him feel loved and accepted.

Zee: Uses perscription marijuana for anxiety. The soda is a clear metaphor for weed; while yes he drinks a lot of it normally since he probably wasn't allowed to use drugs (even perscription) on camera he seriously upped the amount of soda he drank as a sort of replacement

Chase: Was actually a decent person once upon a time and legitimatley did woo Emma over with actual charm. With time unfortunatley he started the youtube channel and once it took off the fame got to his head so he would do anything to make the next "viral video," including putting his GF's life in danger.

Emma: She used to be a model student- straight As, participated in a lot of extracirriculars, had a ton of friends, etc. All of that went down the drain when she used 90% of her time to work on the youtube channel. After breaking up with Chase (the second time) she went to therapy and is trying to become the great person she once was, but it's going to take quite a bit of time.

Julia: She first came out as queer for the sake of a pride month post/getting sponsorships from "queer friendly" brands but hadn't actually thought much about her sexuality at the time. Getting to know MK (and Bowie + the hockey bros) during TD made her realize she actually is a Lesbian, she wasn't lying like she thought she was. Millie: Developed a HUGE crush on Priya during s1. She first started gaining feelings around episode 6 or so but didn't quite process that it was a crush until she realized just how happy she was to have Priya back when she forgave her in the season 1 finale + how upset she would have been if she lost Priya. She cried herself to sleep after watching the season 2 livestream at the playa😭 Bowie: Was a huge brony when he was a kid and got into arguments about the show with grown men online in middle school Priya: After season 2, she was contacted by Courtney (who very reluctantly checked out the new seasons and was horrifed by Priya's situation) who offered to be her lawyer when suing her parents for the right to access the s1 prize money. They were sucessful and Priya moved in with Millie afterwards 😉

[killingfrankie]

MY THOUGHTS ON THE OBC CAST RECORDING OF MEAN GIRLS.

‘A Cautionary Tale’: Honestly the best start to a musical ever. I’m obsessed with this song so much it’s insane. The little ‘nice’ from Damian and then ‘thank you’ from Janis after the ‘you can’t buy integrity from the mall’ line is SO SATISFYING. So good.

‘It Roars’: The transition into this song is so seamless and perfect and it’s so catchy. It shows how separated Cady is from society and it helps make sense of who she is, why she acts the way she does and how enthusiastic she is to finally join a more “normal community/society”. Does that make sense?. I am personally thankful that it was cut from the movie and replaced by ‘What Ifs’ because I just don't think it would’ve translated well. And that’s okay! Some things are better left untouched.

‘Where Do You Belong?’: “your mother called you babygirl?” “singing ha ha ha” SO GOOD. Damian is so funny. In the musical and the new movie Damian has so much more personality and more of a backstory and it’s so good. SO MAD THIS WAS CUT THOUGH. Grey slayed this song. The introduction to Damian and Janis for Cady. Perfect.

‘Meet The Plastics’: Silly silly Cady so so so curious. The way they describe the plastics in the beginning💀so funny. “MY NAME IS REGINA GEEEEORRRRRRRGE” LITERAL FUCKING CHILLS I LOVE TAYLOR LOUDERMAN. Her intro is so fucking real. HATE the 115 line tho. Thank goodness they changed it. Mad they cut karen and Gretchen’s parts from the movie tho 🙁 GRETCHEN’S VERSE IS SO GOOD BRO. straight and to the point. Karen’s intro is so funny. I love Karen. They could never make me hate her. “That’s it! :D” kate rockwell oh how i love you. WHEN ALL THEIR VERSES MERGE IS SO GOOD. i'm personally a Regina girl so I sing the ‘heeeeeres where you belong here's where you belong.’ “NO REALLY SAY IT.” SO GOOD. “come sit with us tomorrow! It’ll be fetch!”

‘Stupid With Love’: LOOOOOOVE. I used to not really like this song but it’s grown on me a lot and I love how unhinged Erika gets. “Do you have an eraser?” “i would love to :3” cadyyyyyyyy heroooonnnnnn. SO GOOD. “jinx!” “ha ^_^ IM ASTOUNDED AND NONPLUSSED. I AM FILLED WITH CALCULUST.” I LOVE HER. this song is so good. I also personally really like Angourie’s version too.

‘Apex Predator’: i can play this song on piano. SO GOOD. i love this song so much. Have you guys seen rachel zeglers cover? Cady using metaphors to present Regina’s behaviour and her power is so clever and it’s just so fun to listen to. When janis and cady both sing “she’s queen of beasts” THEY SOUND SO GOOD TOGETHER BRO. “HOW CAN YOU OUTSMAAAAARRRRRRRT THE APEX PREDATOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR”

‘What’s Wrong With Me?’: Gretchen :((( I feel like i cry to this song a lot. It’s just like, gretchen, honey, you dont deserve this.  “Mama called me beautiful. Dont believe her anymore, now im listening to you.” REGINA LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS SHE’S JUST A BABY😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 the final “WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME” AND SHE BELTS. SO GOOD. translated so well on screen.

‘Stupid With Love (Reprise)’: i’ve never been a big fan of aaron but i don’t have any issues with him but this is satisfying to listen to. “So i’m swearing off of dating.” “Shit.🥲” . “hey whats the date?” “october 3rd! MY NEW FAVOURITE DAY!”

‘Sexy’: KAREN I LOVE YOU. this song translates so well onto screen from stage. Kate slayed this song and so did avantika. I love how passionate karen is about halloween. This song is such a BOP too. The beat is so addicting. “I CAN BE” ateeee. She knows who she is and she SLAYED. When she lists the costumes. Chefs kiss. The whole sex cancer bit is so good. Thank you for curing sex cancer karen! “THIS IS MODERN FEMINISM TALKING. I EXPECT TO RUN THE WORLD IN SHOES I CANNOT WALK IN.” ICONIC. PERFECT. INCREDIBLE.

‘Someone Gets Hurt’: literal chills. Like actual goosebumps. “Yes i look perfect” yes you do. I can play this on guitar. SO FUCKING GOOD ISTG. so tense. I’d give in to her immediately. She’s so intoxicating i swear to god. This song captures regina SO WELL. there’s so many astonishing little vocal moments. Taylor louderman is literally one of my favourite vocalists of all time she’s so fucking good to listen to. The amount of emotion in her voice is incredible. “IT’S FINE FOR YOU IT’S FINE TO FLIRT. AND GOD YOU’RE HOT WHY DO YOU EVEN WEAR A SHIRT.” actually fucking insane i love her.

‘Revenge Party’: this song is so fun and actually batshit crazy i love it. It really shows how creative Janis and Damian are. This for me is where Cady turns for the worst. I hate the whole theme where they fuck with regina’s weight to take her down. It’s genuinely disgusting and thats one of my only problems with mean girls. Like ik they’re all mean girls but still. Gretchens whole meltdown is so fucking funny. I love gretchen so much. The final chorus is so fun.

‘Fearless’: gretchen not being able to function without having a “boss” is iconic but also someone get her a therapist. This song is so fun. Like all of them singing about not being scared of regina and then regina coming in and changing the song to the chords of SGH and then basically warning them that she will get them back. Again, CHILLS.

‘Stop’: MY FAV ATM. SO FUN. SO MAD THEY CUT IT FROM THE MOVIE. JAQUEL WOULD’VE SERVED. So catchy and addicting i love it so much. The “stop” before giving examples hits every time. “MY GOD GIRL, HE’S JUST A GUY!” SO TRUE!!! Janis calling out Damian about Phillip is so funny. Damian going insane over phillip is so funny. “For four whole weeks i trolled and dissed her. THEN I FOUND OUT SHE WAS HIS SISTER.” CRYING ITS SO FUNNY. Then all the girls saying their mistakes. It just gets gradually more sad. “Good work ladies lets take a break” A 5-6-7-8 ! “ TAP BREAK. ICONIC. Him calling her out by saying “stop. Being glued to your phone, counting followers and likes and IGNORING YOUR FRIENDS.” and then the. “She’s leaving! JUST LIKE MY DAD!” IS SO FUNNY.

‘What’s Wrong With Me? (Reprise)’: again with the “boss” :( also having mrs george in the reprise is so funny and it makes so much sense. Bless they’re both trying so hard. “You’ll be worshipped for years.. Then she’ll turn three and everything’s wrong with me” REGINA WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR MOTHER 😭😭

‘Whose House Is This?’: SO addicting and fun. “WHOSE HOUSE IS THIS? ITS MY HOUSE NOW.” im so thankful kevin kind of got a song. He’s so funny. “WHOSE HOUSE IS THIS?” “IT WAS ALWAYS MY HOUSE😭” SO FUNNY.

‘More Is Better’: am i the only one who thinks aaron kinda over-reacted here when he called cady a clone of regina… likeeeeee it’s not that deep bro. Also when it alludes to ‘i see stars’ is so cute. She’s JUST a girl. And she’s not wrong. Regina wouldn’t let that girl talk to him in a normal conversation. What else was she supposed to do? Aaron does have some points tho about how she’s changing herself to it in. but he shouldn’t be scrutinising her for it.. Like bro just reassure her that you like how she normally is… cutesy song tho

‘Someone Gets Hurt (Reprise)’: this entire sequence is genuinely insane and so fucking good and i am obsessed with barrett so much like she’s so talented. And Auli'i ate it up in the movie too.

‘World Burn’: GOOSEBUMPS. The start of this scene is so sad in the movie… TAYLOR LOUDERMAN ATE THIS SONG UP. not a fan of the use of the d slur tho. V happy they changed it for the movie. The intensity of this song makes me feel like im entering my villain era. “But you didnt finish my oooooofoffffff. MY NAME IS REGINA GEORGE.” CHILLS BRO CHILLS. “AND YOU CAN QUOTE THIS. WOAHOHOHOOOOOHHHOHHHH.” “MEAN. MEAN. MEEEEEEEEEEAN.” I LOVE HER BRO YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. “SOO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAN. I WANNA WATCH THE WORLD BURN.” I C O N I  C.

‘I’d Rather Be Me’: i can play this song on piano too. It’s so good. I love it so much. Probably my fav when i first watched the musical. My fav thing is the chanting of “janis janis janis janis” and it is so satisfying. Im sad they cut it from the movie. Janis’ redemption arc is so fucking good. Love a queen who will do anything to be authentically themself. “everyBODY has opinions but tht doesnt make them true.” i prefer the ‘every asshole’ from the movie but the everyBODY still hits.

‘Do This Thing’: “YO YO YO MATHLETES STATE CHAMPIONSHIPS, WHAT! FIRST FEMALE EVER ON THE TEAM, WHAT! A BOXED LUNCH WILL BE PROVIDED, WHAT!” SO FUCKING FUNNY BROOOOO. “I’m a lean, mean, math machine” okay cady. Whatever floats ur boat queen. That line kinda hits. The part where they’re solving equations hits so hard. Kevin is so funny. “YOU LIKE THAT MARYMOUNT?!?!” cady ate it up towards the end. This song is so good.

‘I See Stars’: this song is so cvnty i love it. It makes me lightheaded when i karaoke it though so god bless erika henningsen for doing it 8 times a week. This song is so cutesy i love it. The perfect ending. Cady’s redemption was so well written bro. And i love this song. Not my favourite but it’s still on my playlists.

[incorrect-lightlark-facts]

The rest of the sticky notes:

- Kind of fucked up that the dreks used to be people. Fortunately they were Nightshades so it's okay.

- I love the idea of Nightbane as a potent drug with healing properties when processed correctly, because I'm a scientist. The metaphor for Isla as "both curse and cure," however, is incredibly forced. Also not a strong enough motif to justify having the book named after it.

- Please please please stop with the segues into the flashbacks. It reads like a fifth grade essay I'm begging you

- Being able to teleport everywhere kind of kills the tension and urgency

- All Of The Spicy Scenes Are The Same

- Also if the book is allowed to have this many straight-up sex scenes, I kind of feel like they should also be allowed to swear, or at least use less tepid insults. Isla calling Grim a bastard or a son of a bitch would soothe my soul

- I want to scruff Grim like a kitten and toss him in the ocean. He's still not a good character and he has no personality and he's awful. Every time I feel a shred of warmth for Grim I have to remember that it's because my version of him is so unrecognizable against canon that I probably need to start from scratch again just to be able to call him the same character

- Cleo ily never change (but also shoehorning in a dead son just to give her a reason to side with Nightshade is so bland I'm losing my sense of taste)

- GRIM MENTIONS GODS. WHO ARE THE GODS.

- And They Were Married (Oh My Unnamed Gods They Were Married)

- Is. Is this a normal amount of sex scenes for a YA novel.

- Some of this feels like borderline retconning (eg. Isla surviving being shot through the heart in the first book not just because of the Heart of Lightlark but also because of the ill-defined power of the love bond)

- No training montage for Isla learning to steal Grim's powers :(

- There Are Hot Air Balloons. The Event Is Called The Launching Of The Orbs.

- EGG CAMEO

- Grim and Isla have a moment where they both gush about everything they've learned about each other, and it's nothing. It feels like they don't know each other at all, but of course we're supposed to find their relationship heartwarming and intimate

- Am I going to have to make a spicy sideblog for this oh my god

- Pointless baby dragon. Did I zone out at the wrong time or did nothing become of that?

- The Terra fight is also nothing :((((

- Just like the first book, so many bombs are dropped at the end of the book because simply resolving the existing plot threads isn't enough I guess. Anyway the founders of Lightlark came from another world and created Lightlark in its image like reckless teenage gods but anyway GUYS there are HOT AIR BALLOONS

- Unearned final battle. Book once again lacks the guts to kill a major character and expects us to be moved by the deaths of interchangeable background cast members

- Damn crow-caller is right this REALLY aggressively sets up a third book. I'm wondering what middle book syndrome looks like for something like the Lightlark Saga and whether this is it

- This book was Not Good. It feels like poor fanfiction of the first book and I cannot stress enough that I enjoyed every second of it no matter how frustrating it was. Thank you Ms. Aster I owe you my life

[oddygaul]

Starship Troopers

This was the first time I’ve watched this since probably high school, and definitely the first time since having read Heinlein’s original Starship Troopers. It’s definitely a fun time, although thematically I felt it’s a bit weaker than folks let on.

Most of the modern reads of this movie praise its satirical elements, while noting how they seemed to go over the heads of most critics on its release. And, I gotta say, halfway through the movie, I was totally on board with this. From their philosophy class to basic training, every second of the movie is silly as fuck, and really beats you over the head with its satire.

The thing is, the second half seems to forget about this and mostly just turns into a big dumb action movie? It stays pulpy, sure – our mobile infantry are still running in and out of scenes with laughter and childlike glee, and we still get lines like “They sucked his brains out!” – but it otherwise plays things pretty straight as a heroic military scifi movie.

mfw they sucked his brains out

The disastrous assault on Klendathu feels like it ought to have been the turning point, our big denouncement of Starship Troopers’ rampant fascism. This segment firmly presents the counterargument for the Federation’s militarism: all of the hot-blooded, propagandized soldiers are suddenly presented with the harsh reality of war, the lack of glory in death, and the uncaring, inhumane system that’s feeding them into the meat grinder. Rather than take this pivot as an opportunity for our characters to question their actions, though, Starship Troopers doubles down, showing this as the moment our protagonists become hardened soldiers who are truly devoted to the cause.

I get that the intended tack here is to show how easy it is to fall for fascism: Rico, Carmen and Carl’s story is a cautionary tale of three normal classmates becoming fully ensconced in military fervor. The assault was a voluntary offensive action by the Federation, its disastrous casualties the result of callous strategic planning, yet it’s still used by the soldiers as their Pearl Harbor, the cornerstone of their ironclad motivation to keep fighting. We’re supposed to see the back half, then, as a tragic ending for characters who will never realize the dark fate that’s befallen them.

The thing is, I don’t think that approach works that well, because Starship Troopers cares too much about its main characters, consistently setting them up for big hero moments and heartwarming reunions. Rico’s big heroic speeches, the glowing reverence the movie shows for Rasczak’s return to service, Zim’s heroic demotion to private, done with no regrets due to his unwavering dedication to the Mobile Infantry – all these moments are played perfectly straight, swelling orchestras and all. This leaves the second half of the movie feeling like a pretty boilerplate military fiction story highlighting the glory of being a rank and file soldier.

I dunno, to me, after nearly a full hour of cool action scenes and wholesome barracks bonding, it loses its “war makes fascists of us all” bite and starts feeling more like “ok but also, fighting bugs in space is cool innit”.

(I mean, it is.)

—

I was wondering why Zander looked so familiar… y’all! It’s Sinbad! Crab! Big crab!

Having read the original book, while the tone / message switch was a good call, some of the changes surprised me. Namely, it’s kinda wild to have taken Starship Troopers, which has its place in history as the progenitor of the whole concept of power armor, and turn its soldiers into flak-jacketed mobs of mooks. It makes total sense thematically – Heinlein’s image of an unstoppable, armored, one-man-army is a potent metaphor for the righteousness and power of militarism, while the bumbling hordes fits much better in a satirical send-up of the story – it’s just wild to throw away arguably the most iconic part of the license you’re adapting.

Look they’re all hamming it up, but I think the cast did great with what they had – Ace, Zim and Dizzy all consistently made me laugh with their reads

[hermanunworthy]

Hi, there, Siren, hope you're doing well! If you're still taking dndads ship requests, how about maybe 35 for Cheerkicks/Oakli (not entirely sure on the name here, but. Link and Normal. You get it), please? Feeling in a silly rarepair mood today hehe 💚💚💚

Bullet Holes and Acne Scars (and Other Wounds to Heal)

35. kissing their bruises and scars

from the touch prompts list!

I WAITED A MONTH TO START ON THIS HELP 😭 trust me though ive been so excited about this one, oakicks makes me ill /pos (and also im glad i waited bc i got to use the latest episode as context for this scene!)

cw: violence (including gun violence), blood and injury

also on ao3!

Normal never would’ve taken Lincoln as a fighter, at first.

Ever since they were young, Lincoln has been timid, uptight, the type to go rigid if you get too close to him. Or maybe that’s just in Normal’s case. They’re working on it, though. He thinks. He hopes.

He never would've thought that the sweet kid he used to see kicking rocks in the corner or a soccer ball on a field would one day be kicking FBI agents and military soldiers on the battlefield. With the force of a beast.

Normal thinks he understands, now, why Lincoln’s dads tried to shelter their son so much.

But he also thinks he understands, as he’s too distracted looking at Lincoln to succeed at the spell he’s currently casting, the way he feels. He may not understand what it’s like to be unconditionally loved by his parents (something that arouses a deeply-rooted feeling of envy in him towards his friend, but that’s another thing he’s working on), but he understands what it’s like to feel pressured by his parents. And he thinks, in their own loving way, Lincoln’s dads have pressured him too much. And this is his release. His rebellion. Like a caged animal set free.

And Normal does believe he deserves this. However. It also concerns him greatly.

Because the paladin is moving so quickly, so aggressively, and the cleric is barely able to even keep an eye on him but it sounds like he's breathing heavily and at one point he thinks he catches a glimmer of something in his eye. And it all keeps distracting him from helping out in the battle himself.

Normal just narrowly avoids another incoming attack. Focus, Normal, fucking focus! He shakes his head, his heart pounding irregularly in his chest, trying to pay attention to anything other than Lincoln, Lincoln, is Lincoln okay—

“Norm!” Scary’s voice calls from a ways away, blasting a fireball directly into a man’s face. “Taylor could use your help!”

“No, I—!” Taylor immediately snaps back from where he stands off, holding a soldier back with their weapons clashed. “Uh, I mean… Yeah! Normie! We need you!”

Normal leaps straight into action, fueled by his friends’ words and ready to defend them, but realizes while he’s charging his spell just what’s going on. Something burns within him, something that has settled deep within his veins and has been repeatedly threatening to burst through these days. Do you really need my help, or do you just want to feel better about being such a dick to me lately?

His spell fizzles out in failure again, and he clutches his head and growls to himself. Lincoln, get out of my damn head!

“Norm— Augh!” Scary, in her distraction, takes a blunt melee attack to the head, knocking her down.

Taylor swivels around with a slash to his opponent to face Scary’s assailant. “What the hell?!” He jabs his sword toward the FBI agent. “Normal! What’s with the weaksauce spells?”

The blood is roaring in Normal’s ears so loudly that he can't even hear himself stuttering. He dizzily looks between Scary on the ground, Taylor standing off against the agent, and Lincoln, off in the distance, surrounded by soldiers. He's paralyzed. His lungs feel compressed tightly in his chest, and not even the strong emotion shooting through his blood is enough to awaken any magic.

Scary, thank the metaphorical heavens and not the godawful place they all visited earlier, manages to make it back onto her feet, but not without great effort. “You're—” She coughs. “You're good, Norm, you're good.”

The squeezing feeling in Normal’s chest somehow worsens. Stop it, don't say that. Why am I even here? I'm no help at all!

He stumbles backwards, and his back bumps into somebody. Before he can turn around to face them, a pair of burly arms are slung around his neck. Already short of breath, the cleric is easy to choke out, and his hands fly up to scratch at their sleeves. Panicking, he looks to Taylor, the closest nearby person, and cries out, “Help!”

Without a moment’s hesitation, Taylor drops what he’s doing and, like a true hero, blindly sprints over to slice the back of Normal’s attacker. The arms release him from the chokehold, and he falls to the ground, heaving for air.

But he isn't able to recover for long, because somebody is yanking him back up by his collar. He braces himself this time, but finds himself face-to-face with Taylor. His expression is twisted in anger, the way he looked at him the last time they argued.

“What the fuck was that, dude?! You can't even use a spell to help me, but you can use me to help you?” He shoves him, nearly toppling him back to the ground.

He… I used a Command on Taylor, didn't I? He didn't even realize. It was just instinct, of course he wouldn't just use his friend like that…

You only ever want to help yourself, a familiar voice scolds him in his head.

“Taylor, quit it, he’s already been…!” Scary is beginning to argue with him now, but Normal can't even pay attention to that anymore.

Lincoln is now fighting Agent Shmegan.

The man is trying to resist his attacks, shielding his body with his arms and trying to talk to him, but the paladin will not let up. “Kid, if you could just— You're making this harder than it needs to be, we just want—”

“I don't care what you want!” Lincoln roars, the first words Normal has heard him say during this entire fight. “I'm not going to listen to you anymore! I hate you adults! Fuck you!” He kicks him again, and again, and he's starting to lose his momentum with each swing but he refuses to give up. “Fuck you! Fuck you!”

Normal knows Lincoln has a history with this man, but he also can tell that this is not just about him and Taylor’s kidnapping.

“Li-Wilson— Please just get a hold of yourself and your friends—” Schmegan orders through grunts of pain. Normal knows Lincoln has been training hard to perfect his soccer kicks, so that can't feel good to take.

“Shut up! That’s Mr. Kicks to you!” The soccer player utilizes a swift kick to the crotch as emphasis.

While the FBI agent is finally doubled over in pain, unable to make any more demands, Lincoln’s body heaves with effort. He looks like he’s preparing another kick, but he’s cut short when a loud gunshot fires out, and he stumbles backwards.

“Link!” Normal shrieks, his body finally allowing him to move again, and he dives over to where his friend has fallen. As he gets close, it becomes apparent to him that Lincoln is crying, and he’s crying hard.

“Sir, let's get out of here.” Another agent, holding the gun used to shoot Lincoln, rushes over to Shmegan’s aid, helping him to lean on his shoulder and escort him back to their helicopter. “Freeman kept us from capturing the King, but we have him and his buddies as hostages for later. We need to retreat for now.”

Shmegan’s face contorts in pain and anger. “That better include Wilson. I have some words for that man about his son.”

The other agent chuckles wryly. “Oh, yes, sir. He’s been incapacitated since the fight began.” He looks down at where Lincoln sits, with no sense of remorse. “Seems we’re not the only ones disturbed by that kid’s violence.”

Normal is crouched by Lincoln’s side, trembling just as bad as he is. “Link, it’s Normal. Normal’s here.” God, that must be the least comforting thing he could hear right now. He must be the last person he wants to help him.

Normal’s hands are on Lincoln’s hands. Lincoln’s hands are on his knee. Lincoln’s blood is on his hands, on his knee, on his clothes, on the ground…

“Dad,” Lincoln sobs weakly. “Dad.”

All of Lincoln’s fight has left him. Now he’s just a scared, powerless little kid.

And so is Normal, now that he’s drained of magic. He can't cast any more spells. He used the last one to help himself. He can't heal his friend. And dear god, Lincoln’s still crying for his dad. But Grant has been captured. And so have the rest of their dads, it sounds.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck!

He presses down harder on the wound, but he can't tell if it’s even helping to stop the bleeding, or if it’s just him trying to squeeze Lincoln’s hands to help himself calm down. God fucking damn it, I'm so selfish, even as my friend is sitting here with an actual bullet wound… Can’t do shit for him…

He dares to look back up at Lincoln’s face, and finds it even worse to look at than all the blood. His eyes are scrunched up, leaking a river of tears down his face, his lips quivering with each shaking breath. It reminds him of when he got to see this boy as a baby, and how he promised him that it was going to be alright. He has to make this alright again, if it’s the last thing he does.

With one hand still pressing against his knee, Normal uses the other one to carefully lean forward and stroke his cheek again, wiping away some of his tears.

Lincoln opens his eyes, and when they meet Normal’s it’s clear that they are bloodshot and unfocused. “D-Dad…” he still whimpers. “Help…”

It hurts, knowing that he doesn't want Normal, but he tries to put himself in his shoes. What would I want from my dad, if I were him?

He knows Grant wouldn't know any healing spells. But he does know that he was very tender and affectionate with his son. He seems like he’s very gentle in how he cares for him, like he feels like his own dad has the potential to be.

He knows what he wanted his dad to do for him when he got hurt when he was younger. Grant seems like the type to care unconditionally, though. So, unlike his own dad, he ignores the disturbing and gross nature of this situation, and with all the love (and lack of magic) in his heart, he presses his lips lovingly against Lincoln’s knee as if it was simply the scraped knee of a child.

Lincoln gasps at the feeling, and Normal instantly regrets it, feeling like an utter idiot, He has an literal hole in his knee, I can't just kiss it better, this must be hurting him so bad—

“Normal,” Lincoln chokes at last. He grabs one of his friend’s hands and squeezes it with enough strength to break him. “Normal.”

The cleric lets out a squeak from the strong grip, but watches as a golden light begins to slowly, slowly glow from underneath the paladin’s other hand, which is still on his knee. He’s casting Lay on Hands on himself. Oh, Normal didn't even think about the fact that Lincoln hasn't been using any magic, so he probably could've…

But no, Lincoln wasn't able to help himself before, was he? It wasn't until Normal kissed him that that something in his eyes cleared, like a fog being lifted. Did Normal actually help? Or is he just being selfish, just taking credit for something that had nothing to do with—

“Thank you, Normal,” Lincoln breathes. The words he’s been wanting to hear all this time. Normal’s heart squeezes at the sound.

“Did you…” Normal’s own voice feels thick in his throat, and he realized just then that he has tears dripping down his face as well. “Did you even realize what you were doing? How hard you were fighting?”

More tears begin to roll down Lincoln’s cheeks. “It… There was no pain… At first… Only anger…”

He squeezes his friend’s hand back, but it’s not nearly as strong. Not as strong as Lincoln, never. “I was so worried, it felt like losing you…”

Lincoln’s face crumples again, and Normal can hardly bear to look at it. “Normal…”

His eyes wander over Lincoln’s body, realizing that there are other spots of blood not just from the gunshot. All sorts of cuts and bruises, all of which look very painful, but Lincoln hasn't acknowledged any of them. That “zone” that he seems to get into, that rush of adrenaline, that thrill of violence, must be a very, very dangerous place for him to be in. He never wants to lose his friend to that darkness again.

So he shows him the light. He leans in close to each wound, trailing the gentlest of kisses over the dark spots on his legs and the nasty gashes on his arms, never once shying away from the blood or the hair or the sweat or the filth because it's all normal to him, and even though he knows it's selfish to give Lincoln what he wants for himself, he wants to love Lincoln like he’s perfectly new.

“Normal,” is all Lincoln can say now, through his continued crying. “Normal, Normal…” The way he’s whimpering his name, like a prayer upon his lips, only fuels him further, the way it feels to have replenished magic surging through his veins.

It isn't until he gets tugged away by his hair that he realizes he should probably stop. But Lincoln's hand doesn’t move from the back of his head, and when he looks up at him, Lincoln just stares back, his pupils wide. “Normal,” he whispers again.

Lincoln’s gaze is roaming over his face, and especially over the blood drying on his mouth. Normal can taste it, he realizes self-consciously.

“How can you still be so nice to me?” His eyes shine with a horrible, heart-wrenching guilt, a guilt that Normal can feel himself as he fights the overwhelming need to kiss the one little cut that he missed, the one he’s been avoiding, because he knows it would be too selfish of him.

The one on his lip.

“I'm… so sorry.” Lincoln’s fingers loosen in his hair, but Normal still leans his head into his hand before he can decide to let go entirely. “For how I've… I've been so…”

“It's okay, Link,” Normal murmurs, even though he doesn't know if it's true. It’s just hard to focus on the long-term pain this boy has caused him when said boy is caressing the back of his neck so delicately that it makes him melt.

“No. You're my friend. You're my husband.” The certainty with which he says it brings Normal a shiver. “I need to make it up to you.”

This time, Lincoln is the one leaning forward. Normal freezes up, his face flushing red as his husband’s lips land on his cheek.

But Normal doesn't understand. He doesn't need healing, he doesn't have any scars. Not on the outside, anyway.

Is he… kissing my tears away?

Another kiss. And another. Each touch of his lips to his face leaves him with a feeling of warmth and light. Lincoln even reaches with his bloody hands to brush the sweaty hair sticking to Normal’s skin out of the way, and begins to leave kisses on his forehead as well.

Oh. He’s kissing his acne scars.

More tears run down where Lincoln has kissed. Nobody has ever… He's always been told that he's gross, that his acne is a problem, something to be ashamed of. He has spent countless hours staring at himself in the mirror, popping pimples and picking at scabs (despite his sister’s warnings), wondering why he has to look like this and if anyone could ever love him like this. His parents would never do something like this for him.

But Lincoln is. Lincoln, the one he’s been trying to win over for years. Lincoln, the kid he always wanted to play with but wasn't allowed to. Lincoln, the friend who always seemed to shut him down no matter how hard he tried to love him. That same guy is here, sitting on the ground in literal Hell, a bullet in his knee and blood on his clothes, his fingers curling in his greasy hair and his lips kissing his pockmarked face.

“I'm sorry,” Lincoln whispers tearfully against his skin. “Thank you for… for being my friend. For being you.”

As he pulls back, Normal pushes forward, resting his forehead against Lincoln’s. “I love you,” he sighs, selfishly but honestly. He hopes it brings Lincoln as much catharsis as it does him.

Lincoln glances up from where his eyes sat downcast at the blood on the ground, to stare into his husband’s eyes. His hand on Normal’s neck drifts to his jaw. Eyes still glittering sadly, he offers a smile, but the stretching of his lips opens his cut and makes him wince away in pain.

Normal reaches forward with a careful hand, and catches Lincoln’s chin. He really hopes this isn't going too far, too fast, too bold, like he always seems to be going without realizing it. “Let me…?” He can't even finish the question, can't bear another rejection.

But Lincoln beats him to it, kisses him first, kisses him better. Cradles him with such love and care that you’d think he’s the one being nursed back to health.

And it is undoubtedly healing. Something Normal has needed for a long time. Something that tastes like blood and grime and filth, something that tastes so normal and familiar that it feels like coming home. Feels like being blessed by an angel visiting Hell.

After all, Normal always thought Lincoln was more of a lover than a fighter.

[saganssorcery]

Today I figured I would talk a little more about my divination techniques, what I use, why and my experiences with each.

In terms of Tarot every deck has a different egregore so each deck has its own way of giving the news and messages it wishes to relay. This is of course also true of other forms of divination. I don't have a favourite deck, some are catty, some are calming, some have solid grounded advice, others let you in on hidden motives, some bring healing, some just straight up don't like me 🙏😹✨ but you get the picture. Depending on my intuition or what I feel will help depends on which deck I'll use at a given time.

Today I posted an Angel Tarot reading, this deck is based mainly on the Shem HaMephorash. I find this deck helpful when I am in need of some serious help in one way or another. I'll ask the deck who would wish to help me with my trouble then work with the angel in ritual for further help.

The "Occult Tarot", created by the same person as the “Angel Tarot”, is based mainly on Goetia. I use it in a very similar way to the Angel Tarot but there are differences. I tend to consult this deck if I have a very specific desire or request, ask what demon would like to work with me in regards to what I want, then work with them in ritual to request or seek answers. I also find this deck very useful when figuring out motives as they help me to see who or what is here to help or harm.

For casual Tarot readings I seem to use any deck I feel drawn to at the time, this doesn't include the Thoth Tarot though, I'll go into why that is later, but more on that soon. Normal tarot readings are a great way to get solid answers, especially about earthly matters and questions we have about our everyday lives. The different casual decks I use here do have different ways of relaying a message but the advice given is solid and helpful.

Ah, the infamous Thoth Tarot. I have more experience with this deck than I do any other. I spent a good 9 years using basically nothing but the Thoth at one point. These days I don't tend to use it for earthy solid matters like I do with casual Tarot decks. The Thoth is a great tool for psychic surgery as I like to call it, it mirrors your soul if you like it or not and helps you identify anything lurking. I must point out though that this deck does have an agenda, that agenda is Thelema, so keep that in mind when consulting it. I use it these days mainly for spiritual matters, I find this deck a great diagnostic tool if used correctly, hence why I like to think of it as a metaphorical surgeon's knife.

Moving away from Tarot decks, I also use Ogams and Runes a lot in my work.

My relationship with the Ogams is brilliant, they are without a doubt my friends. Diving deep into the Ogams I can draw more information from just 3 Ogams than I can with a full 10 card Celtic Cross Spread with a casual Tarot deck. They work in a very interesting way, I pull myself only 1 Ogam every day, because that's all I need to see what energies I will be encountering that day. I find the energy expresses itself in very multi-layered ways. For example they will not only warn me of a danger by telling me what I need to watch out for, they will give me advice on how to handle it and cast protection on me so I take the correct steps that avoid anything from going awry, they will also talk to you through their word ogams in astonishing ways. They have saved my ass on numerous occasions, this is why they are my friends as well as being very powerful magickal tools.

My relationship with the Runes are quite similar to the relationship I have with my casual Tarot decks, they are very good for tapping into whatever is happening at the time and give solid earthy advice. They seem to tap more into survival than anything else, helping you to understand the world around you so you can take the correct steps.

Anyway, I would love to know what your experiences are with your own divination tools and techniques, especially your views on any of the tools I previously mentioned. 💙☄️

And of course you know where I'm at if you would like a reading. 🙏😹✨ Send me a DM if you're interested. Much love 💙☄️

[zapsoda]

aUGH you talked about bax's and babygirl's i mean. roy's bad eyesight. does anyone else have an likewise handicap or disability? also what's their weakspot for each one of them ... both physically and mentally if you want to write even moar words hehe

ofc!!

as previously mentioned bax has shit eyesight. hes also a bit mentally ill (lack of survival instincts), and while that can be beneficial when in dangerous situations where he needs to act effectively and expediently it can also be VERY DISADVANTAGEOUS. for obvious reasosn. what would the crew do without him? when hes constantly getting injured and incapacitated?

roy has her weird eyesight, and she has kind of the opposite of bax's problem. shes pretty anxious and has trouble acting and making quick decisions. she doesnt really like getting into *serious* trouble (she likes silly stuff and pranks and goofs though), anyways this makes it harder for her to step in when someone needs help.

clam *is* a runaway government android and so basically anything that isnt healing or surveillance is antithetical to what he was programmed for which is bad for everyone. he wants so badly to deviate and cultivate more of an identity but its gotta be just one step at a time, while roy and the others help him reprogram his body and brain bit by bit. which sucks. he wants physical agency Now.

tallys lack of horns and low-ppointing fin rays would land him very low in his home planets sort of caste system. not like. homestuck per se, its less ingrained and more socially enforced. on a dangerous planet where community contribution holds a lot of social weight, being physically weaker, lacking parental skills or instincts, and being kind of selfish on top of all of that made him very. not liked. this is part of the reason kip feels so responsible for him and overly protective.

anyways hes kinda internalized it. every single crumb of attention and validation sends his ego to the moon (metaphorically). he is torn between accepting a low place in life and society "everyone hates me, why should i change that" and desperately trying to prove his worth to anyone who will listen. yaaay mentla illness mwah (i kiss him on the forehead)

kip is the opposite of tally. he has horns. his fin rays point straight up. hes big and strong. he can hunt and protect. hes kind of tender and paternal. hes generally well respected. and he left all that. with his "nephew."

hes used to the expectation of taking care of everyone, protecting them, making sure nothing goes wrong. so he overcorrects. he comes off a bit controlling, though he normally channels this through his cooking. its like a healthy outlet, where he has control over everything as long as everyone stays OUT of his FUCKING kitchen.

hes also very slow to learn and a bit stubborn (though he tries very very hard to work on this)

hes honestly very stable and good at keeping himself together unless He were to be the one hurt and or in trouble ahahaha. he would not handle that. he would go crazy. the thought of being the one to need others makes him ill.

he is so fucking awkward around clam and its for two reasons. 1. dont wanna break him, unfamiliar object, not sure how the best way to proceed 2. stop trying to help me stop leave me alone you sick vermin

deep down he loves clam though cause he feels like theyre the same. "this weird animate object is just like me fr" he admires clams instinct to help others a lot eheheheh.

[autumnalwalker]

For the Empty Names cast:

Lacuna:

Due to her parents being estranged from their parents, Lacuna didn't meet any of her grandparents until she was in her mid-teens when - after a lot of prodding from Lacuna's aunt Morgan - her mom finally made peace with her parents (Lacuna's maternal grandparents).

On a related note, Lacuna's parents (and by extension, Lacuna herself) just straight up didn't observe holidays when she was growing up, not even secular/federal ones. It started as them going through a bit of a hardcore, borderline-militant "enlightened atheist" phase around the time they had her, paired with some really weird political views, but then even after they mellowed out and got more normal about things, an element of "well, we've gone this long without celebrating anything, it would feel weird to start now," persisted. The closest thing to an exception were the occasional visits with her aunt Morgan who always seemed to have something going on to make festive. To this day Lacuna's not sure if it was a bunch of obscure neo-pagan holidays, evidence that aunt Morgan has actually secretly been Backstage and dealing with the supernatural all this time, or if she was just making up holidays on the spot for Lacuna's benefit.

Not sure when/how I'll work all that into the main story, but I originally came up with the concept as part of this idea of "all of the main cast are in some way disconnected from their own cultural heritage." Lacuna's white and grew up upper middle class, but her parents were really weird about religion and politics in a rather isolating way. Ashan straight up got isekai'd as a child, and just recently got back. Eris's parents went all in on cultural assimilation (except for languages, on the stated reason that being multilingual is a useful skill, but they still drilled into Eris that she better not have an accent). Sullivan and Road aren't even from Earth, and on top of that Road outright can't remember the first twenty years or so of their life and has a bunch of other sizable gaps in memory.

Ashan:

As an extension of his mentor's insistence on maintaining excellent physical condition being an important-but-too-often-overlooked part of being an effective mage, part of his wizard training included dance lessons. In addition to it being good exercise for endurance, coordination, and agility it's also a useful skill when finding oneself at social events. No one expects the wizard to step out onto the dance floor at the high society party they were only begrudgingly invited to (for health reasons, one does not leave a mage of renown off of a guest list, even when no one wants them there and they don't want to be there), so it's all the more memorable when it happens.

And besides, "If you're going to do something, do it with style" was always a favorite philosophy of his mentor's.

Any fight scenes involving Ashan tend to make a lot of reference to him "dancing around" his opponent(s). This is not entirely metaphorical.

Eris:

Back in her truck driving days, she once woke up to find a screaming peacock in the front seat of her cab.

This is absolutely going to come up in the main story one day and get elaborated upon.

Sullivan:

Back when Road was running the circuit of stepping in to deal with supernatural events at fandom and anime conventions (that much concentrated suspension of disbelief in one place makes the larger conventions easy for weirdness to enter the world and/or spontaneously manifest) Sullivan would occasionally tag along to help. While there he would usually pick up a VHS/DVD/BluRay of some random anime or another and later make Road (who has zero pop culture knowledge) watch it and play a game Sullivan liked to call "Wholesome or Horrifying" in which he would time how long it took Road to figure out which category it fell into. Sullivan would usually watch the video in question alone first.

One of these times Sullivan picked up the anime "Hamtaro" (wholesome, about a bunch of talking hamsters). He was so excited to play the game afterward that Road sat through a marathon of several episodes convinced that it was going to take a sudden turn into being horrifying. But no, Sullivan just completely unironically likes the show. He considers this his most embarrassing secret and the only person he ever told was Carnette after they got married. She found this both hilarious and adorable (and was about the only person other than Road who could get away with calling anything about Sullivan "adorable" without multiple lethal stab wounds).

The special knock to open the hidden entrance into Bridgewood Manor's greater library is tapping out the Hamtaro theme song. It is one of many in-jokes that Carnette left behind in the manor to remember her by.

Road:

They got their fancy magic orange lightsaber that temporarily paralyzes whatever limbs it passes through instead of cutting them by stealing it from a police officer/city guard/fantasy cop analog on a world where such weapons are standard issue for law enforcement.

Blorbo Blursday #5

What’s the most obscure information you have on your character? Will it ever be referenced within their story or does this tidbit just live in your head/on a side document?

TAGLIST (DM to be +/-) @interroblog @muumysworld @afusiek @the-ravens-requiem @sender-paulson @everthewip @bluberimufim @amaiguri @akiwitch @thetruearchmagos @autumnalwalker @gracehosborn @cljordan-imperium @aether-wasteland-s @saintedseraph @deanwax @berristrawberri @owlbearwrites @the-down-upside-finch @stridingwriter @dandelion-jester @johnmurphysgirl @ghostsofchernobyl @alexsidereus @innocenthedgehog @unmellowyellowfellow @oh-no-another-idea @druidx @ibuprofen-exe @shay-creates @aquadestinyswriting

@loopyhoopywrites @n1ghtcrwler @writingonmymind @wardenred @void-botanist @dyrewrites @sm-writes-chaos @iishmael @romances-not-tragedies @inscrutable-shadow @athenswrites @uraniumwriting @pigeonwhumps @stesierra @bittersqxtch @imslowlydisintegrating @harleyacoincidence @keysandopenmind @pga-books @halleyuhm @wordswrittenbynight @worldsfromhoney @imaslothandsowhat @i-am-the-doctor @callahanscorner

@iamwritehere @hannahholowach46 @frenchbullpigs @informedimagining @anyablackwood @lili-loves-whump @laffy-taffy-creations @downtoithaca @rayesworld @susurrus-mxfluffy @kyuponstories @themswritinwords @valentinerose529 @365runesoftheamalgamations @guessillcallitart

[itstimetowritecl]

OFMD - Use of Thematic Elements That Challenge Toxic Masculinity

I recently finished Our Flag Means Death, and while there are a plethora of things that I could highlight from the writing perspective that are positive, what really stands out is OFMD’s constant, subtle ways in which it challenges toxic masculinity and as byproduct, what it means to be a man.

What made OFMD stand out to me was the manner in which it subtly challenged toxic masculinity by using strong narrative techniques interwoven into the plot and character development. Below are four main execution examples of how the writers did this - casting, character development, scenery dialogue, and limiting the heteronormative lens.

Diversity in Representation - Through Casting Choices

There is diversity in body types and racial representation within the OFMD crew, and not those that simply meet the ‘ideal man’ that we often see in fantasy pirate shows. Many of the cast is queer and deviates from said ideal man. For example, men with larger body weight and/or softness to their bodies are not used for laughs and are allowed to have meaningful roles and relationships, such as Oluwande, a larger-sized black man who has blossoming relationship with Jim, and is seen as a competent, loyal crew member who is capable of handling any situation you throw at them.

We also see this in the queer identification of many characters, going beyond black and white definitions of either you are straight or not. Jim, who uses they/them pronouns in the show, is a great non-binary representation since they don’t fall into the typical stereotypes in media regarding non-binary people, instead is a dynamic character who is not defined their sexuality and grows in their development in their quest for revenge. Jim starts to unravel their desire for revenge as their initial desire to kill wanes over the season as they open up and show vulnerability to others.

By the way, the crew’s queerness is also historically accurate. Pirates were actually quite queer and a lot of understanding has been skewed since most shows with a pirate cast or theme are casted very heteronormative and able-bodied (Ed btw is not able-bodied, he has a mobility aid - a knee brace).

Promotion of Vulnerability - Through Character Development

Vulnerability, and the willingness to allow male characters to exhibit such is done well. In OFMD, men are not chastised or seen as weak by demonstrating any sort of vulnerable emotions. This is not the case with the crew members, as they themselves despite the risk and violence in their profession, do not look down upon vulnerability. Lucius and Black Pete’s relationship is a great example of finding calm within each other to let go of ��revenge’ and ‘anger.’

You can think of their ship as a metaphor for escaping toxic masculinity and delving into uncharted waters of what a society could like without the shackles of toxic masculinity anchoring us down at the dock. All of these crewmembers challenge this through their development, but none is more compelling than Stede. He literally is living that story and finding himself through a lens that is not smudged by toxic masculinity.

Stede leaves behind a normal life of a wife and children that a proper gentleman should have, which includes the normalization of violence we still see today. He mentions having a “mental devastation” of witnessing violence as the primer that welcomes him to the show. But his character arc and relationship with Ed and the crew shows how mental health and challenging notions of who we ‘should be’ demonstrates that is okay to not fit the ‘norms’ of how men should behave, and also that we should challenge this notion of finding violence to be glorified. It is okay for men to feel worry, to open up about sensitive topics, and certainly cry.

Acceptance of Others - Through Scenery Dialogue

Acceptance of others is a huge thematic arc in OFMD. Shutting down homophobia, as an example often perpetuated by toxic masculinity, is treated as we should strive for. Blackbeard’s first mate Izzy Hands found his bigotry and bullying denounced. Right away, the tone is set that homophobia is not only unacceptable, but also should be rightful denounced, especially those that are rooted in toxic masculinity. Izzy is stripped of his duties to demonstrate how important it is reject such notions.

All of the pirates are accepted without question. You see this through the specific dialogue between characters, including their traumas. “If someone returns from the raid mentally devastated, we talk it through as a crew,” is a rhyme spoken by Stede but speaks to the importance of the group being able to open up to each other. There is also the acceptance of belonging, such as Ed not feeling worthy of wearing a fancy handkerchief, to which Stede responds with “Look at that. You wear fine things well.”

Another example is the challenge in finding acceptance, even within ourselves. Ed’s comment regarding “Blackbeard always wins - that’s the thing, he can’t fail. Its not even a challenge anymore,” isn’t just a boredom with life, but rather hints at the face he’s just treading water and needs a new start, which requires self-acceptance he hasn’t quite addressed. There is also a wonderful comment that Spanish Jackie makes: “All The Revenge, And Rage, And Anger, It Ages You,” which really gets through to Jim and also speaks to a development about herself. It is these small moments in the dialogue that speak to this theme.

Rejecting the Heteronormative Lens - Through Camera Focus

Finally what I found refreshing about the growing relationships between characters is that their development was not rooted in hypersexualization like unfortunately a good number of MLM relationships are. You can spot this problem in both written and video mediums by comparing this kind of relationship to heterosexual ones - queer-based relationships often focus primarily on the fact they are having sex, and are treated as a spot on the pseudowoke bingo. And when characters engage in sex, it is not treated as shocking, scandalous, or sinful, the three woes of non-heterosexual relationships.

The standout element of OFMD relationships is that the emotional aspects of the relationships are built upon prior to the physical, taking away a lens that would limit the impact it has on viewers who can relate. When a queer relationship is under the hetereonormative lens, the consequences are that the relationship is portrayed under the guise of either comedy, gratification, or derision from toxic masculinity. Instead, we find Oluwande and Jim are hoping to overcome mental barriers closing off their hearts, Stede and Ed have a mutual need for acceptance and change, and Black Pete and Lucius need someone to simply understand.

How OFMD challenges the heteronormative lens is by using a camera focus that focuses on details of care and affection unrelated to sexuality. An example is the camera panning in on the hands of Ed and Stede during pivotal moments, specifically, their slow but growing desire for physical affection and allowing themselves growing intimacy. Little things such as Ed grabbing Stede’s hand when the latter is covering in the bed from injury, Stede using his hands to set Ed’s handkerchief in a pocket, and the constant affections of hands when they kiss (this is really evident with facial touches). Hands, in this case, represent the vulnerability of reaching out and the vulnerability of accepting.

[wizkiddx]

supercluster

this is my entry for @hollandsrecs 'toms birthday fanfic fest' event - go check it out!!! I know its a early but im v bored so have it now. also im acc kinda really proud of this one, any feedback would be v appreciated 🤍

the prompt was: 'you and tom are best friends and you tell him that you love him on his birthday'

summary: its toms birthday but he has a few things to get off his chest and into the night sky, y/n joins in with a bit of a revelation too

best friends -> lovers

warnings: mentions of alcohol, bit angsty but promise ends all fluffy and a shit tonne of dialogue

wc: 3.5k ishhh

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Everything got a little too wild and stuffy in the living area, Haz and Harry screaming sweet caroline, whilst Greg (Tom’s stunt man) was pouring *another* round of shots. The sweatiness and clamminess of the room meant Y/n took a moment to escape, sliding out the double doors, and closing them softly behind her to ensure no one would notice her little escape. Something about the midnight air, the slightly dewy smell of the neighbouring fields, felt like it was refreshing Y/n from the inside out. When she turned around, back facing the fancy rented house, she was slightly shocked by Tom standing in the garden. It was his birthday party after all. In all honesty, Y/n felt a bit guilty she hadn’t noticed he wasn’t in the thick of it with his brothers and castmates.

His silhouette was set against the clear night sky, the stars extra prominent this evening and the moon casting a soft glow off the left side of his face, exaggerating the natural contours of his jawline and cheekbones. Clearly, he was enraptured by the sky, staring up at it with a thoughtful look on his face.

And Y/n recognised that look instantly; she knew what he was doing.

In fact, he had taught her to do precisely the same thing. As kids, the Hollands, Y/n’s family and another two families from the local area all went camping together. It was an annual event, ‘the Kingston collective camping adventure’ as Dom had named it. Y/n couldn’t remember a year when they hadn’t gone actually - it was that much of a tradition.

One year, though, when she and Tom were about 9, her mothers’ due date coincided with the camping dates. So, sensibly, the decision had been made that Y/n and her brother would just be looked after by the Hollands - whilst her mum and dad were safely tucked up in bed at home, awaiting the arrival of her littlest brother.

Y/n, her brother Alex, and Tom were all sharing a tent, and it must’ve been at least midnight that Tom was awoken by shuffling and zipping up of the tent. He’d realised she was gone through sleepy eyes and, without a second thought, went to go find her. Sure enough, she wasn’t far away, not even 50 metres from the tent, crouched on the grass. Immediately Tom’s presence had been noticed, making Y/m quickly snivel and wipe her face.

“Are you upset?”

“Go away Tom.” The comment didn’t do a lot, though; instead, 9-year-old Tom had planted himself down next to her - his pyjamas getting wet on the moist grass floor.

“Are you missing Auntie Sarah and Uncle Mike?” In the same way that Y/n called Nikki and Dom auntie and uncle, the Holland boys mirrored the nicknames for her parents. Y/n replied with a long sigh before hiccuping, failing to control the stream of tears. Yes, he was right - this was her first night away from her parents- but she wasn't about to spill her heart out to the 'stupid boy' who had stolen one of her marshmallows that evening. Tom’s little brown eyes swelled, looking slightly terrified and out of his depth, whilst with all his 9 years of wisdom, trying to come up with an answer.

“Do you want to play football to forget about it?”

Unsurprisingly Y/n shook her head violently. Tom cursed inwardly at himself for saying the wrong thing, apparently football wasn't the answer to everything. The two children went back to silence until Tom had the metaphorical light bulb moment. “My mum told me something for when I got to sleepovers? Look!” He grabbed Y/n’s little hand, extending it upwards towards the night sky.

“No matter where you are, you’re all looking at the same stars too, right?”

Tom jumped a little before looking over his shoulder and recognising Y/n with the softest smile that grew across his face. Y/n slowly walked to his side, arms crossed over her chest to try and keep the cold at bay, joining Tom in staring up at the starry expanse.

“How do you always know?” Tom spoke in a breathy chuckle, shaking his head slightly. It was true, she did always know - but his question was somewhat irrelevant. They'd spent most their childhood together, they were as easy to read as a children’s book to each other.

“Missing home?”

“Sort of, I got my own slice of home with the boys and-and you but… pads, mum dad yeh, feel like on your birthday your always supposed to see your family.”

Although Harry, Harrison, Sam and Y/n had managed to fly out to surprise Tom on his birthday- prior commitments meant his parents and youngest brother hadn’t been able to make it. They four arrived yesterday, greeted by a very shocked and pretty emotional Tom - who had clearly been missing the sense of home somewhat. He’d been away shooting a film, then straight away launching into press for the next spiderman movie. It had been a long while since he’d been in London - half a year in fact.

This time too, he’d been away without a single family member or friend - that was another truth he’d learnt about growing up. Your friends and family, they all get lives of their own. Tom used to be a trailblazer, the first to get a job, the one everyone was super proud of. They still were, of course, but didn’t dote on him in quite the same way - everyone had their own shit to deal with. It was yet another reason Tom wasn’t welcoming his birthday as much as he usually would.

“Your parents did always spoil you rotten.”

“They spoilt you worst and you’re not technically their kid.” Y/n rolled her eyes, even if it might slightly true - muttering a ‘touche’ at the brown-haired boy next to her. Their families had always been close; naturally the adults seemed to gravitate more to the kids that weren’t their own. The ones who you could ‘give back’ at the end of the day. It just so happened Nikki and Dom had always loved having Y/n around, maybe a bit more than anyone else.

“Have you had a good birthday then? You should be in there with Greg pouring that shitty vodka down your throat.” Y/n questioned, whilst shrugging back toward the house, the dull thump of Jacob's playlist just audible. Still, both stared upwards, standing close enough that their upper arms were both pressed up against each other. She expected a jovial answer, but even from his tone, it was evident there was something up. He sounded…weary?

“I’m bloody glad you all came...don’t get me wrong, I love Z and Jacob and everyone but….”

“Shitty week?”

“Shitty birthday week of promo and press.” Tom scathed, and Y/n nodded. Even if she couldn’t understand what was so bad about press, she knew that Tom hated it passionately. And in the same way, he loved all his castmates dearly, but they hadn’t known him his whole life. They didn’t understand why he did every little thing; their values lay just that bit apart. It just wasn’t the same as being surrounded with his family - you and Harrison adopted Hollands too.

“I just feel like I’ve spent all week trapped in a room answering the most stupid, irrelevant and inconsequential questions... Everything’s just so surface level and fake and, and I-“He cut himself off, for the first time meeting Y/n’s eyes. In all honesty, Tom got a bit caught up in the stars reflecting off her piercing y/e/c eyes before changing tack.

“Will you do me a favour?”

This wasn’t spoken with the normal Tom tone. It wasn’t joking or jovial; it wasn’t an ‘off the tongue’ thing. This was spoken with such seriousness and gravitas coming from his deep voice that Y/n replied equally truthfully.

“Always T, you know that.”

“Will you please ask me a personal and serious and deep question?”

She got where he was coming from too.

Clearly, even though the evening was supposed to be a light piss up in celebration, it had instead unearthed some darker thoughts that Tom had been harbouring away. Perhaps he never even realised he needed such seriousness, or perhaps with his castmates he hadn’t felt comfortable exposing himself like that. Either way, Y/n was going to respect him now. It was technically his birthday, too; the clocks had already struck 12 - it was now his day.

It wasn’t tricky to think of one; she’d often wondered the same question of him - never with the opportunity to ask. The question popped into her head again, almost as soon as Tom asked for one.

“Okay…. What’s your deepest regret that makes you feel guilty for feeling because in the grand scheme of things, it minor? Like such a 'first world problem'." What do you regret that’s just completely selfish?”

Tom immediately stiffened, his jaw tensing as he worked through his thoughts in his head. Scared she’d pushed it too far, Y/n averted her gaze back to the sky, chewing her bottom lip slightly. It took a moment, but then she saw Tom turn towards her, in the peripheries of her vision. With a tightly closed-lip smirk on his face he joked “If your gonna ask questions like that, we better sit down.”

And so they did, both sitting crossed legged on the ground, knees brushing against each other. Just on the grass lawn, almost mirroring themselves all those years ago as kids in that camping site. Y/n wondered if she should offer to play football instead - to cheer him up.

“Missing out. I miss out months at a time. Miss out on seeing mum and dad, miss out on the pub quizzes with the boys, miss out seeing you… I mean, I didn’t even know you had a new job until you mentioned it this morning. I miss out on time with nana Tess and all my grandparents, and that’s scary cos… well, every time I go, it could be the last time… I don’t know, I just… I get so much, get to travel, to see the world, but… sometimes it feels like I’m sacrificing the foundations. And without the foundations….”

“The walls come crumbling down.” Y/n finished off his sentence quietly, barely whispering the words - but from Tom’s nod of agreement, it seemed like she’d hit the nail on the head. There was silence for a beat till Y/n whispered to him.

“Well, happy birthday to you” Trying to bring the mood up a little, she bumped his shoulder, and Tom chuckled breathily.

“Seriously! This is helping me out. I-I just need to get everything out and start my 25th year fresh.”

“Hey, if that’s all you want, I’m getting a refund on my present- we can just get deep and interview each other.”

“I’m game, except I’m keeping the present too.”

“Just because it’s your birthday and I’m a bit tipsy, I’ll allow it.”

“Okay, well then, Y/n L/n”, He spoke formally, leaning in closer and making her giggle a little. “What’s your biggest regret?”

“Honestly?” Tom just repeated her in reply, but this time it was a statement.

"Honestly."

He really was going deep too. No holding back now. Y/n sucked on her cheek before replying. “Not travelling with you when we were 19… I was just so determined to get to uni and start grown-up life, but… well, grown-up life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I should’ve tried to stay a kid longer, messing about on your film sets and pretending it was work. I think I would’ve learnt more from seeing the world with you.”

“Well, I am very knowledgable.”

“Shut up, you drop out- who didn't know what a drag race was.” She wasn’t wrong, and whilst yes, he had dropped out to be a film star - he was still a dropout. (with exceptionally poor knowledge of RuPaul) He scowled, then leaning back on his hands, so he was half reclined on the grass as Y/n thought of her next question.

“Whats your biggest worry?”

“Easy.” He chuffed, making Y/n furrow her brows at him. Clearly, he’d already thought of this. “That I finally settle down with the love of my life, and then the fans or press or paps ruin it.”

It made sense; every time Tom had gone public with a relationship, it had ended in a minor car crash. Typically it was also the girl who got hurt; she was the ‘victim’ in everything. Though Y/n had seen first hand the effect it had had on Tom - he never made it out damage-free.

“You make it sound like you’ve already got this dream girl queued and waiting.”

“I wish”, Tom sighed, as Y/n took the opportunity to completely lie down on the grass, staring up at the dark abyss. She’d always loved the stars and had become a bit of a geek on them as they’d grown up too- and maybe it was all down to Tom on that camping trip. Following suit, Tom copied her, his head resting on his hands that were crossed behind his head, taking in the moment of pure peace as they lay on the grass.

“You see that bright one there?” Pointing up, Y/n shimmied closer to him so that he definitely saw the same thing as her. “It’s actually not one. Look closer.” Humming, Tom shifted a bit closer, so her shoulder slotted under the side of his body just the teeniest bit. It meant he could follow her direction and squinted up at the little patch of the sky.

“ 5…maybe 6? What is it?”

“The pliedes supercluster…. basically a big group of stars that all were born from the same place- the same stellar nursery.”

“But they’re moving now?” She hummed in confirmation to his question, briefly glancing at the way his eyes were fixed on the sky. For the first time he seemed genuinely interested in hearing her stories of the stars. It usually was an eye roll and ‘you’re so lame’.

“They’re called the sibling stars… like everything in life, as they get older they drift apart but…. but to us down here? They’ll always be associated together because they have a gravitational effect on each other. They’ll always have their thing tying them together. Like an invisible string.”

“Sounds like you’re being metaphorical.” Tom chuckled, expecting a taunt back but receiving nothing except a gentle agreement.

“Theres also actually 7. The last one people can only sometimes see… it’s a pulsing star, so comes and goes.”

“They do that?”

“Yeh, and no matter what… if you can see it or not, it’s always there. Always having an impact on its family.”

Biting his lower lip slightly, Tom repositioned his head slightly, Y/n’s words taking time to be fully absorbed. He was sure she was making parallels to him. Barely there, appearing and disappearing, but always a part of the family.

“You are being metaphorical.”

“Maybe.” She whispered shortly. “Metaphors depend on who’s listening and if they draw parallels to their own life. It’s subjective. You can’t tell anyone what is and isn’t metaphor…. it takes the beauty out of it.”

“Right, sure... But if you were…. me, harry, Sam, pads, you, Haz, Tuwaine? That the 7?” Y/n held back the little smile at his words. Tom wasn’t as ‘head in the clouds’ as she was- he was literal. Also, he was bloody stubborn when he wanted to be.

“I wasn’t being metaphorical T.” He knew she was lying. She knew that he knew. But it still helped him, made him feel a bit better. That he was always, in some way, having some effect... lives always intertwined with the people he cared about the most.

“Tell me another story about another star.”

Time for the rest of the night kind of got lost. The two young adults just lay on the grass, entirely in their own little world, using each others body heat to keep themselves warm through the early hours. Neither felt remotely tired, Y/n whispering her little stories of both the myths and science of the old stars, pointing out each planet. Meanwhile, Tom listened in awe, for once not taking the mick out of her incredibly geeky hobby. Instead, he found himself getting fascinated by all the little intricacies Y/n was so passionate about.

It was only when the stars began to fade, as orangey-red hue started to seep up from the horizon the either noticed the time. It was now the morning of the next day, the house long since had turned silent behind them - presumably, everyone finally passing out shit faced.

As the stars’ light was overtaken by the rising sun, Y/n ran out of stories; the two settled into silence - neither quite ready to go to bed yet.

“It’s still my turn,” Tom spoke into the sky before pivoting his head to look Y/n in the eye, seeing the confusion in her furrowed brows. “It’s my question to ask. My turn.”

“Aren’t you sick of my voice yet?” There was absolutely no reason that they were both whispering. It wasn’t like anyone was trying to listen or that they’d disturb anyone else my talking normally. But it was nicer that way. It felt calming... intimate even.

“One more. And then you get one more… and then we really should probably go to bed.” He didn’t want the night to end; he was immensely enjoying this weird grey time between being 25 and 26. But it was cold, Tom could tell Y/n had started to feel it a little more. To be fair, she was only in a floral day dress, not much in the way of warmth. With a hum of agreement, Y/n smiled lightly at him, urging his question.

“Whats the biggest secret you’ve kept from me?”

With a bit of a scoff, Y/n sighed and closed her eyes, trying to draw some strength she wasn’t sure she had. It wasn’t like she needed to wrack her brains to come up with it - she knew instantly. Almost painfully too.

“Uhm, honestly?” Now even more intrigued, Tom nodded, using his foot for nudge hers - encouraging her to speak. “Probably how much you mean to me.”

“Oh” He couldn’t help it; the sound just slipped out his mouth without checking with his brain first. That answer had just been so unexpected. He had honestly been thinking that it would be something about how ‘fame had changed him’. After hearing that, Y/n turned her head up the sky again, feeling like her cheeks were on fire with embarrassed heat. Tom knew he had fucked up.

“No, I… I didn’t mean- just just ask me too.” With a sigh, Y/n waved off his stumbled answer as he tried to cover himself.

“This is stup-“

“Ask me!” For the first time in 5 hours, Tom spoke at an normal volume - but it felt painfully loud, like a shout.

“What’s the biggest secret you kept from me?” Her tone was defeated, but nevertheless, he answered.

“How upset I was when you didn’t come when we were 19. I got why, but it was still annoying. Felt like you were picking uni friends over me-“ At this point on any other evening, Y/n would have interjected and argued. None of this situation was normal, though, so she chose to hear him out. “- I know it’s stupid, but…. I guess that’s how much you meant an-and still mean to me too.”

There was silence for a couple minutes, waiting whilst the sun started to peep over the horizon, the lone witness to an otherwise very private conversation. That was until Y/n barely spoke, more like mouthed 2 simple words.

“I lied.” The intensity of the way Tom stared at her made Y/n wish that the sun hadn’t been so bright, that they were back in the darkness that hid her face more. “Biggest lie I’ve told you … that I’m not in love with you.”

Y/n didn’t see because she couldn’t face looking at him, but Tom’s face erupted into the most prominent, toothiest smile. Whilst Tom was enjoying the moment of being absolutely ecstatic, Y/n was waiting for a response- feeling her world come crashing in. That she'd just destroyed one of the most important friendships in her life too.

But then he said the opposite of what she thought he would.

“I lied too.”

That had her attention, whipping her head toward him as Tom rolled onto his side on the lawn, balancing with his head resting on one hand. “I lied that I’ve not been completely under your spell since we were kids at that campsite, and you were homesick.”

Y/n’s heart was literally in her mouth, brain overwhelmed but one overriding thought oh so bloody clear.

She’d lost control of everything, arching up to mirror Tom. Using one hand, she reached out to cup Tom’s jaw, to which he instinctively leant toward - until their lips were mere centimetres apart, hot breath fanning over each other.

Y/n no control as she whispered those 3 words against his lips. No control at how immediately after he pressed his to hers; no control as Tom guided her to roll on top of him, knees either side of his torso as his strong arms wrapped around her back.

Once again, time was lost between the two, only pulling apart when their lungs burned for oxygen.

“For the record, I love you too.” Grinning from ear to ear, Tom used one hand to gently stroke his thumb across her cheek, switching his focus from her left to right eye - in wonder at how the early morning sun reflected from her y/e/c irises. He’d always thought she was beyond beautiful, but when she was this close to him, with the sun rising behind her in such a way - she looked damn ethereal.

“Happy birthday T.” Nodding in agreement, Tom chuckled before finding her lips once again, whispering against them.

“Yeh, happy damn birthday to me.”

~~~~let me know what you think ;) ~~~~~

tagging: @hallecarey1 @hollandfanficlove @crossyourpeter

[subwaysurf45]

Winter Makes Ice (Ep. 4)

Summary: you’re captured after a brawl at the Avengers building, Bucky and others must save you before Hydra makes a new Winter Soldier out of you, Bucky has given up that title.

Words: 4123

Episode: Four

Warning: violence, gore, description of violence, fighting

Masterlist! Winter Makes Ice Episode: Three

Time: 3:20am

Date: October 3rd 2024

Wakanda was always calm when Steve went, the people who lived there just seemed to understand the ways of life. There was never a catcall or fight in an alley, people greeted each other with kindness and a soft bow, Steve always copied but felt like he was too stiff when he did so. He found he walked with his back a little straighter and his chin a little higher, he felt unstoppable in the warm climate, filled with power and generosity. 

Natasha on the other hand hated Wakanda, not because of the people but for the same reason as Steve; it was too peaceful. She’d always get the dirtiest looks when trying to explain her case, no one seemed to understand the concept of ‘too much comfort is uncomfortable’. She ran to Bucky once after a moment and asked him why he liked it so much, she thought he off all people would hate comfort, he’d always be one to sleep on the floor because the mattress would feel like it was swallowing him. He just shook his head and shrugged, he’d never tell anyone why; Nat found out he never even told you. 

Natasha had been trained to trust no one other than yourself, but after escaping the Red Room she questioned the one in the mirror all too often. People would smile and while Steve smiled and waved Natasha thought of ulterior motives, why were they smiling to them and not the people slightly behind them? but then they’d smile to the people behind Natasha and she’d question if it was to cover themselves. The welcoming's to almost everywhere felt weird, she wanted to break in or have to fake her way to what she wanted, having doors opened for her felt like a slap in the face for all the things she’s done for those years before. 

“God, gives me the creeps,” Natasha faked a shiver, Steve just rolled his eyes. They were walking in the palace now, T’Challa would be waiting for them in Shuri’s tech room. 

Apparently Shuri had been wanting to try a new type of cuff, one made of- obviously -vibranium that tightens at a lie. There were little needles that poke into the culprit's nervous system, it picks up on someone’s sign that they are lying and tightens when the little pins are triggered. If someone's breath picked up or heart rate doubled, it would squeeze a little bit more until their hands were blue. Nat thought it was amazing when she heard it over the phone, her mind was picturing it the entire flight over. 

Steve had been thinking about Bucky, Steve was well aware of Bucky’s deep connection to you. You’d been dating for over a year and it was love at first sight (then Bucky quietly loving you from the other side of the room), Bucky was never one to fall for someone, he’d never have the confidence in himself that he’d be here for too long. But it was the little things Bucky began to do that made Steve appreciate you even more. He’d watch from his spot on the kitchen counter, quietly sipping coffee and reading the paper, which wasn’t actually paper because it was on his phone, while glancing over every so often to see you and Bucky in your own little world, both giggling at something. There's this moment for Bucky when he’d just look at you, Steve had seen it happen so often, like Bucky was taking a step back and realizing he had someone who loved him unconditionally. The laugh would die down and Bucky would whisper something, it would alway be along the lines of ‘thank you’ but it could change. He’d sometimes do it with Steve as well, both you and Steve would say the same thing, ‘no need to thank me, but you’re welcome’ because that’s what Bucky liked best. 

You were just an agent when you arrived, nothing more. Slowly you had gotten to know who everyone was by going out of your way to give out cookies to everyone who walked by you, it was a little thing Bucky seemed to really enjoy. After your talents were discovered from past jobs you were moved to a spy, you’d used to work for a private firm where they’d track down people who launder money, you’d have to get so much evidence it often led you to get jobs at mattress stores or random shops. With that and a lifeguard certification- that you got when you were a teen- under your belt you were perfect to be an agent, Fury introduced you to Bucky for combat training because Bucky needed to learn how to work with others; Steve actually told Fury to give Bucky the assignment. 

You’d spar everyday and the both of you would get into it. There would be times where you wouldn’t talk to each other for the rest of the day because the other cheated. Everyone would laugh but you’d take it very seriously, Bucky would always say you weren’t strong enough to go out into the field, so you lifted weights. He’d say you weren’t fast enough, then he’d see you sprinting on the treadmill a day later. 

Steve knew you were good for Bucky when you were about to start dating, it was at that part where you were going on dates but you weren’t dating. With all the things Bucky had criticized you on, you flipped it on him with one simple task: keep your fiddle-leaf fig plant alive. It would’ve taken Bucky one google search to find out that 61% of people can’t keep this house plant alive, it’s the hardest one to take care of. It was a metaphor of sorts, for you and for your relationship. 

It wasn’t a surprise to find it dead when you got home, Steve came to you with his shoulders slumped. Apparently Bucky had been crying for three days straight because he killed your plant and he thought you’d dump him because of it. It was the weird feelings when Steve saw you start to laugh, this was his best friend who was crying of guilt and you were laughing, he’d wanted to punch you square in the jaw. 

“What’s so funny?” he asked way too harshly. 

“Oh nothing…” you wiped the tear that had fallen. 

“Baby, I’m so sorry!” Bucky had left his room and came running to you, his face was red and his eyes were barely open from how puffy they were. He quickly pulled you in for a hug, “I messed up your plant, I’m sorry.”

Steve was getting redder and redder the more you laughed, “what’s so fucking funny, huh?” Steve boomed, he was getting protective. 

You had dropped the act then, both of them were very emotional at the moment and laughing wouldn’t be the best choice of action. “Don’t worry, Bucky,” you soothed him, “you weren’t supposed to keep alive.” 

“What?” he pulled away and sniffled, “but you asked me to-”

“To try,” you paused with emphasis, “and keep one of the hardest plants to keep alive, alive.” you smiled, “I was proud that I had kept it alive for as long as I did, but I needed to see what you would do with something like this.” 

“Why?” Steve asked for Bucky, still very protective. 

“Did you buy a new one and hope I didn’t notice?” You asked, Bucky shook his head no. “did you get mad at me because I gave you a stupid chore?” He also said no to that. “Did you make Wanda keep it alive with her powers?” all these options ran through Bucky’s head and he didn’t even think of them, “you put so much effort into this, and even if you did fail you still cared a lot, that’s all I ever want. I want this relationship to work and if you run at the first sign of adversity then this won’t work, but you buckle down and keep pushing, and if it doesn’t work? Then I know you actually cared, and you tried. That’s all.” 

“You’re a keeper.,” Steve said before walking away and giving them space to catch up. 

Nat waved a hand in front of Steve’s face, and it turns out he’d been staring at T’Challa for a while while he was talking. They had walked the entire way and Steve just stared at the ground with a blank expression, he needed to look out for you in order to keep Bucky sane. 

“S-sorry, I zoned out.” Steve straightened his posture a bit, hands on hips and shoulders rolled back.

“No worries, captain Rogers.” T’Challa spoke calm as ever, “I have the criminals in the room, they have the new tech that’s already set up, my sister wanted to set it up.” T’Challa opened one arm and guided them to the secret room where two men sat with their hands cuffed and on their laps. “Neither of them have any record of being born, probably a fake identity.” The king linked arms with Shuri and walked out of the small room. 

Seeing how grand and futuristic Shuri’s lab was made it shocking to be in a normal interrogation cell, two rusty chairs that were occupied and no table. Steve looked to see the single light that hung from the ceiling, it wasn’t a soft yellow like the one’s at the Avenger building but purple, vibranium always casted a purple/blue hue. 

“Where are you from?” Steve asked. 

“Iceland.” the one on Steve’s left answered. 

“Is Hydra now stationed in Iceland?” Nat cut in and asked. 

“One station, there’s many.” The same man on the left kept talking, the other one had his head all the way down with his forehead touching his knees. 

Steve leaned up against the wall, “you attacked Princes Shuri, why?”

“Because she is the one that made us start from the very beginning, she's the one that erased the trigger words from your friend and our weapon.” He snarled, “She needed to pay for what she did, we should have known Wakanda was the hardest place to attack, we’d need a Winter Soldier for that.” A smirk grew from the right side of his mouth. 

“What are you smiling about?” Nat pressed, she walked closer.

“Oh, nothing- ow!” the handcuffs tightened, his breathing rate doubled as he tried to ride out the initial shock. 

“Tell us!” Steve smashed the wall, causing a dent to grow from it. 

“Fine…” the man adjusted, “once we found out we’d never get our Winter Soldier back we quickly moved on, no one can break Wakanda’s tech, it’s impossible.” The man sighed and looked off, “so we chose to start again, make a new way, create a new trial. It’s safe to say we did.” he took a deep breath and leaded back against his chair, his fingertips were beginning to turn purple, it was difficult to see with the purple hue of the room. “When we attacked your building we didn’t want Barnes, we wanted someone, anyone. This girl was the closest to us, and it seemed to be the closest to Barnes, am I right?” he quizzed, seemed to be genuinely wondering. “She’d wake up and forget where she is, normally she’d pat the ground beside her and call out for a man named Bucky, that’s Barnes. It was the perfect choice, completely on a whim.” He looked at Nat, “she got her confidence from you, the entire time we were slowly poisoning her she completely believed she was here for ransom, it was funny to see her face when he told her what we did to her, how we now control her. The look on her face when we asked who wiped Barnes’ trigger words… She spit them out but her face was full of fear, her voice and thoughts weren’t her own.” 

“Why would you tell us all of this?” Steve asked. 

“I know I will die,” the cuffs didn’t tighten, “and my friend is already dead, I’d like to go with a bullet and not torture.” He looked up to them. “I think my father has passed, he worked for Hydra and I’d like to see him, to ask for forgiveness.”

Natasha pushed back the other man who hadn’t spoken a word to find his hands blackened and completely dead, the tightness had cut off all circulation. Right near the edge of the cuff and on the man’s skin was starting to split, there was no blood to leak out of the cut because there wasn’t blood in the veins, it was slowly falling and peeling away. 

“You tortured my friend- two of them actually!” Steve screamed, “I hope to god you die slowly.” Steve lifted his gun to the man’s face, he closed his eyes. But Steve moved the aim to the thigh, you had told him that a shot to the femoral artery was fatel after ten seconds of bleeding, you had also told him that the femur- which was what the femoral artery is attached to -is the most painful break for bones. 

So Steve shot at the middle of the thigh, he and Nat watched without emotion as the man quickly bled out, the blood squirted in the air and rolled down his pants. Blood coming from an artery is bright red and tends to squirt, but from a vein makes the blood more slow and dark. When the final squirt of blood managed to hit the man’s face, Steve knew he hit right on target; and that you were right for all those things.

Time: 5:59am

Date: October 3rd 2024

Bucky and Wanda walked through the forest, most of the leaves had fallen off the trees due to the season so they could see further into the thick woods. Not a lot of talking was happening between the two of them, Bucky was way too focused on keeping his cool while Wanda used her powers to see if there was any form of life around. 

The wind blew softly and the leaves that held on for dear life were now getting pushed aside off the flimsy twigs, they would fall and join the other countless leaves that met the same fate. Wanda loved the fall, she’d jump into a pile of leaves any chance she got. Right now she was purposely stepping on the ones that looked the most dry which would give a good crunch. Her nose was a little red due to the cold but everywhere else she was yellow and happy, it seemed she gave off heat.

Bucky hated the fall, the sound of stepping on leaves sounded like someone was right behind him. If there was a Hydra agent out in these woods they would have heard them from a mile away with all of Wanda’s jumping and giggling. Bucky loved Wanda in a motherly kind of way, but sometimes she was just too...happy…

When everything seemed lost, Bucky and Wanda’s phones began to vibrate, Bucky was quick to pick up. Both Bucky and Wanda made their way to a tree stump to take a moment to listen. Wanda sat on the ground floor and picked at the tons of leaves that covered the ground, she’d pick and rip them apart one by one. 

“It’s Steve,” Bucky whispered before picking up, “Steve?”

“Buck, you have to listen to me,” his voice was shaken and distraught, “I’ve sent the coordinates, she’s there but I don’t know how much of her is left.” 

“What does that mean?” Bucky asked as he looked over to see Wanda looking at the coordinates on her phone. 

“I don’t know how much has happened to her, they’ve brainwashed her.” Steve took a deep breath, Bucky could hear Nat in the background, “we have to act fast, we’re on our way, do not wait for us.” he commanded and Bucky nodded but he knew Steve couldn't see, there was a type of mind reading between the two of them that really came in handy for times like these. 

“Roger that.” Bucky hung up and began to move again, Wanda had read the location and it turned out they weren’t that far away, at the final stretch they saw the building through the empty trees. 

The forest had been cleared around the building, the grass seems healthy but it was starting to brown with the changing weather. The building itself was very small for it to be the most dangerous Hydra facility, it was only one story. There were no windows and the outer wall was all one grey colour, no symbols or tanks ready to fire; there wasn’t even a guard around the building. It seemed too vacant for it to be true, the wind seemed to stop as they got closer into the open field, it was completely still and almost dead. 

Bucky or Wanda actually had a plan, everything had been so fast there wasn’t anything drawn out or spoken about at some meeting, this was all instinct. Though there were no windows and security cameras they both knew something had to be watching the outside, they were low to the ground in the open field but the grass was way too short to cover them. Bucky had his gun ready while Wanda’s hands were in a position to create a shield for the both of them, at the sound of a vibration Wanda checked her phone. 

“Steve and Nat have landed, they are five minuets out,” she whispered. 

“Copy.” was all Bucky could think to say. 

Both of their backs smashed against the wall, with their final moments of bliss before fighting a couple deep breaths were taken and eyes remained shut. Bucky’s finger fiddled on the trigger of the gun, Imagining what it would look like to blow the man who hurt you to oblivion. Bucky moved further and farther away from his Winter Soldier thoughts, the mass murder and robotic revenge. But when it came to someone hurting you, he’d even put the mask back on.

On the count of three the door was bursted open, and right away agents on the inside began to fire. Wanda and Bucky took them down their own way. 

One agent was still alive, Bucky ran up and gripped his throat. “Where is she!” he screamed. 

“You’ll never know-”

A gun was placed to his head. 

“-Alright! Alright!” The man shrieked, “third door on the left, please don’t kill me!” the man cried. 

“I won’t kill you,” Bucky lowered his gun but the grip on his neck tightened, “I’ll torture you slowly before.'' His left hand gripped so tight around the agent’s neck he could hear the bone shattering, clear fluid from the agent’s spine leaked from his eye and ear before blood followed. Bucky watched emotionlessly as the agent’s face turned blue and almost popped like a balloon. “Wanda, get them all outside.” 

“Yes, sergeant!” Wanda yelled, she was fighting off everyone else. 

Bucky blew by everyone as they ran to see the commotion, so ran right by Bucky without thinking he was the threat. Wanda was now outside and in a matter of seconds the eeriness of the outside matched the inside, the air was still and stuffy, it smelt like the beginning of decomposing. Bucky had his gun ready but it seemed no one was in here, his only threat was you. 

Bucky took note of the stone grey floors, and stone grey walls, and stone grey ceilings. HYDRA didn’t put much money into design like the Avenger’s did, all the funds they collected went straight into the tech they made and Bucky was sure that’s why they were still around, they had so much money saved that they could pay people to turn their cheek and walk the other way. 

As Bucky scanned for something to give away where all the scientists were, his eye met another door in the very corner of the room, it was exactly the same colour of the stone grey walls but the brass door knob caught his eye. All you could hear was the boot of Bucky’s combat boots on the floor, his breath was even scaring him. His hand reached out for the door and when he opened it he found what he was worrying about. 

A cell. More specifically: an empty cell. 

There were chains hanging from the ceiling, one large cuff, one for what seemed to be used for a neck and then four cuffs for wrists and ankles. Bucky completely forgot where he was, he didn’t remember there was an entire lab behind him, all his mind was throwing at his memories of a cell just like this. 

Bucky didn’t remember much about cells in the early days fighting against HYDRA in a cell, in the 40’s. He did, however, remember what it was like to come out of ice when he was needed. The concept of life didn’t exist when he was frozen, it felt like a long blink, it didn’t seem like he’d been asleep for years.

He’d wake up and for a second he was still normal. He’d think it’s cold because it was winter and his house back in the 40’s didn’t have any type of heating system except for a small fireplace, his boots and pants were still on because he got hammered the night before- also explaining the headache -and just fell into bed. All his convincing would go away when his brain would fog again, and he’d look down and catch the shine of his left arm, all at once he’d fall back into place. The dissociating happens after dreams but it came from waking up and not really knowing who he was, as he’d walk to whatever commander was in charge that year he’d ask himself what he was, all the memories and answers in his brain would seem to pull further away, like a word in the tip of his tongue. 

He was ripped from his thoughts manually, he thought of you. He thought he was hypnotizing himself when he looked in there at first, too triggered by what he saw to think straight, but he took another moment to look, he saw the chains swinging back and forth ever so slightly.

His stomach dropped, he knew you were still in the room. “Sweetheart?” he called like he always did, “it’s Bucky, we’re gonna get you out of here, come out, baby.” he tried to sound as soothing as possible, he looked under every lab table and every chair. 

He flipped through pages on his desk, reading the details of what they did to you. “What is I.C.E.?” Bucky asked himself. 

“Injected Complying Enhancement.” 

Bucky turned as fast as he could to see you behind him. You were completely naked, body covered in dirt and grime, your hair was hacked and it seemed to have been pulled. Bucky just looked at your body, words were carved into your skin, every single one of them were infected, puss bubbles around the angry red scars. As his eyes trailed up he saw blue on your finger tips, then he reached your face to see a sunken cheekbone and massive cut on your forehead, but nothing compared to a generous piece of your nose hanging on by a thread, the tip was black. 

“Baby, do you know me?” Bucky asked through heavy tears, this wasn’t what he was expecting. 

You scanned over him, “Sergeant, James Buchanan Barnes, 32557038.” 

Right at that moment, he knew you were gone.

Winter Makes Ice tag list: @small-death-and-codeine​ @commonintrest​ @buckyys-doll​  @lil-baby-nor​

let me know if you want a tag!

[kusagrasskusa]

Gaara X Innocent! Reader - "Hellfire"

Gaara's age is bumped up to 16 in this btw, and the reader is 16 as well. This takes place the night Gaara kills that one Sound Ninja on the rooftop, during the chunin exams. Also, Gaara might be considered a Yandere, but I don't know (you'll see why lol) Lastly, when I talk about Gaara burning, I mean it metaphorically. Yes, this is 100% based off The Hunchback of Notre Dame

FYI! This story isn't very romantic so if you're a fan of slightly darker stories, go ahead snd read this I suppose. Plus Y/N is kinda a coward in this

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There he sat, on top of the rooftop late at night. Tomorrow would be the full moon, when Gaara's power would increase in perfect timing for another battle in the chunin exams. Competition is getting tough and examtakers are either extra aggressive with everyone or forming alliances. Not only that, but so many people are winning each challenge that too few people are being eliminated. That's all that's important and all that will be important until the Sand Village finally finishes off Konoha with the help of the Sound Village. But how, even with these much more important factors, is the only thing Gaara could think about is some normal pediatrician girl?

The moment he met her in the streets, a flame was set in his heart. He had been walking through Konoha after register for the exams and noticed a pretty young girl running through the streets, shouting for help. All she received was weird glances and eye rolls, however Gaara and his siblings caught on. Much to his sister and brother's surprise, Gaara had no problems hearing her pleas and then defending her. Someone had been following her; someone who her family had bad history with and from the looks of it, that person planned to hurt her.

He had no problems escorting her home and listening to her talk along the way. Her voice was so soft, her colorful kimono and flowers in her hair fitting for someone with an innocent and sweet personality. She seemed to be oblivious to the mysterious looks of Gaara and his siblings, or the way Gaara was so cold and silent. She payed no mind and spoke to him as id he was normal; like he was human. And it was that fact, her ignoring his dangerous aura, that lit that flame.

After since that day, that flame grew so strong. Every set of bright shades of the colors she wore on her clothes, every flower that she decorated herself with, every word or item that she mentioned in the little time she spoke to him, and everyone with E/C eyes would make him think of her. That sweet, kind, oblivious girl. It's like she cast a spell on him to make him slowly burn alive; that little flame she set it him would quickly grow into hellfire. His burning desires to see her again, to hold her, to love, traveled through his skin and veins. It didn't take long for Gaara to convince himself she did something cruel to him to use his demon, just like his father is using his demon to destroy Konoha in a few days.

Gaara was began to assume the girl was mocking him when she spoke to him so lightly; that he was no one to be afraid of. It was so insulting, but she was able to hide her cruel and disgraceful jeers under a sweet and loving facade and cute clothing. That has to be it, he thought. No one could ever like me, no one can love me, other than me. More and more of Gaara's thoughts were consumed, then all at once, by thoughts of her. She was like a demon dragging him to hell to torture forever. That beautiful girl with those lovely E/C eyes and pretty clothing was using him, he convinced himself. And someone like that deserved death.

That sweet, young girl had a name; Y/N. She was incapable of sleeping, as a terrible feeling in her stomach was keeping her awake. She pouted her lip and huffed, poking her stomach and whispering to herself, "I want that bad feeling to go away!" That feeling was pure anxiety and a hint of fear. These emotions were very uncommon for Y/N as she had always. Even a positive thinker with lots of love in her heart for even villains to an extent. She sighed, turning over in her bed on her back for sitting up, flipping her legs over her bedside. She stood up and put on a soft kimono over her pajamas and walked to the front door of her home, put on her sandels, and walked out. "Maybe a nice walk around the village will tire me out!"

"It's almost the full moon," Gaara said aloud. "My power will only grow stronger." He stood up, staring intensly at the moon as if it's the only thing keeping him from being devored by his hellish thoughts. His thoughts of how lovely it would be to destroy that girl who made his chest feel warm and his face heat up when she talked to him. That girl who made him feel the way he feels about himself, only a bit different. He had never felt romantic love to anyone, and for him to suddenly feel so strongly about someone instantly convinced him that she did something to him. Someone who would ever control him like would burn in hell before the hellfire consumes him first.

A rough, quiet and threatening voice erupted from behind the redhead. He paid no mind to anything that came out of the mouth of the Sound Village ninja rather just acknowledged that he wanted a fight. Without even realizing it, all that bloodlust built up through thinking of Y/N was released, ending in that Sound Village ninjas blood being spilled all over the roof top. It felt like a weight was taken off his back when he killed the ninja, but in the back of his head he knew it wasn't enough. Gaara didn't want that petty ninja, only that witch known as Y/N. Every passing second, that hellfire coursing through his veins were blazing out of control, weren't they?

"Maybe a nice walk around the village will tire me out!" Gaara's ears perked at that voice. That voice. Y/N's voice. Just like that, Gaara's need for blood grew strong again but this time, it felt different. He killed the Sound Village Ninja with aggression, but knowing he could kill Y/N now that he heard her close by made him feel an exciting kind of bloodlust. Those flames coursing through his body grew hotter every second, growing ever more desperate to get his hands on her.

"It's been a while since I've seen the garden at night come to think about. The moon is bright tonight so it's bound to be pretty sight!" That sweet, soft voice called out from the ground, below Gaara's feet. She walked the pathway it takes to find a nearby lake, where a nice little garden lays. A smile rose on Gaara's face; one of pure hate and excitement. His chest pained to greatly at the thought of her death, but that hellfire coursing through his body was telling him to hurt her. The front of his mind was screaming for him to kill her and use her blood as a piece of his deadly sand, but the back of his kind was whispering for him to comprehend how he feels about her first.

So he began to follow her. Gaara quietly walked from the rooftops, not daring to make a single sound. He continued to smile as he followed her, his smile growing the more he heard her talk to herself. Such a sweet girl with such a pure heart. It's a shame someone with Gaara's problems sees her as a witch because he loves her. As another 10 minutes go by, Y/N began walking into the woods and towards the lake. Gaara jumped to the ground without making a sound and followed her discreetly by hiding behind trees. He stopped when Y/N did. Y/N's eyes widened and sparkled at the amazing sight before her; the moon reflecting on the lake as beautiful flowers and trees accompanied toads on lilipads in the water. Pure bliss.

"Wow...It's incredible!" She laughed in awe. "My arms feel so weak at the sight," she spoke again as her smile widened. "I wish mom was here to see this!" Gaara hummed, looking over the scenery as well. It wasn't very interesting, but it was something he supposed. After all, Y/N loved it. Gaara looked around and saw no one nearby, meaning now would be a great time to react. He silently tip toed over to Y/N, using trees to cover himself. However, Y/N spotted him when she looked around the area in case there was anyone nearby (after all, she was being loud and who knows who lived in the area).

"Hmm? Hi, you there!" She said, waving her hand towards that silhouette behind that tree. Gaara'a face turned into one of the confusion, his "eyebrows" furrowing. Why isn't she scared of someone creeping up behind her in the woods? "Sorry if I'm bothering you! I just wanted to see what's it's like here at night. I can leave if you want," she said, swaying her body back and forth.

"...No, it's quite alright," Gaara replied as he stepped from behind the trees. He walked up the her, and instantly Y/N recognized him. She gasped, surprised.

"I remember you! You're the one that saved me! Thank you so much!" She giggled, clasping her hands together and bowing deeply. "My deepest thanks." Gaara paused, feeling his cheeks heat up a bit.

"My heart is pounding," he mumbled allowed, pressing his hand against his chest. "What have you done to me?" He asked, tilting his head to the side. Y/N stood up straight, giving him a questioning hum in return. Her face looked so innocent and sweet; it's all apart of that facade, isn't it? Gaara growled, roughly grabbing Y/N's shoulders and pulling her close. She jumped, gasping a little at the sudden action. "I said, what did you do to me? Where did this hellfire come from, you witch!" His voice went from his normal calm tone to a scream instantly.

Y/N's eyes widened and her body started to shiver a little. She furrowed her eyebrows together, stuttering out a reply. "I-I don't understand..." That answer wasn't good enough for Gaara as he had no problem throwing her to the ground and looming over her with a look of anger across his facial features. His fist was clenched so tight that his veins were showing. "I don't know what you're talking about!" Y/N yelled out fearfully, covering her face. Tears began to swell in her eyes and her voice became shakey.

Sand began to pour out from behind him and his heart ate picked up again. That flame in his heart was so strong and terrifying to Gaara that he was okay with killing the girl he fell in love with right then and now. His body was so scared that it wanted to kill her, but his heart was too scared to rid such a wonderful girl from the world forever. "Tell me, witch. What did... you do?" He asked again, staring at her so intensely that she could feel his eyes burning into her skin. She sniffed, now too scared to reply upon seeing that sand loom over her.

After a few moments, he screamed, "tell me!" Y/N chocked up on tears, taking a deep breath before replying.

"I don't know any magic or special jutsus, sir! I didn't do anything to you!" She cried out, slowly sitting up. "I'm sorry!" Gaara hissed, silent for a couple minutes. In that time, Gaara remained still as Y/N slowly began to stand up. In her mind, she was recalling words her mom once spoke to her about dangerous people. People are born innocent and harmless and only bad environments or situations can taint their purity. With that in mind, Y/N assumed that Gaara had problems that she couldn't understand. And with a heart as pure as her's, she had already forgave Gaara for scaring her and already felt sympathy for him. She slowly walked closer to him, the hairs on her neck standing up with anxiety, and put an arm on his shoulder.

That touch made him snatch back to reality. He slowly put his hand on top of her's; he was so confused and overwhelmed with opposing emotion and thought. "Then why? Why do you make me feel this way?" He asked in a low rough voice. Y/N began to wrap her arms around him and then hug him softly, shutting her eyes tightly. She managed to push her worried back as she found giving this sad, sad man affection was more important. Gaara felt his chest grow warm again and suddenly, she chuckled.

"I think your hellfire consumed me. I can't even find it in myself to kill you anymore, witch. I think I'm in love with you," he said, blinking away tears. He was so scared and his body pained to kill her, but he just couldn't. He was so overwhelmed with the pleasant feeling of Y/N arms being around him to ever lay a finger on her in anger. Instead he just hugged her back tightly, stuffing his face into the crook of her neck and sniffing. He was obviously holding back tears, which didn't work very well. Afterall, for the first time in forever, he felt like he could show a little bit of a soft side.

"You're gonna control me, aren't you? Use my feelings against me and bend me to your will? You're so cruel, even with the face of an angel." Y/N hummed, not understanding his comments. She just sighed, hugging him tighter and opening her eyes.

"Hey, Gaara, isn't it? Why don't we spend time out here tomorrow? I'd like to get to know you better."

Gaara grunted in response, closing his eyes and wiping his tears with on arm, keeping his other arm tightly around her smaller form. Yeah, whatever hellfire he feels has completely consumed him before he could stop it.

Lol sorry this written to bad!

[mj-is-writing]

happy blorbo blursday! I'd love to hear some rambles about some of your disabled characters, whoever's on your mind! as a disabled writer it always makes me so happy to see disability rep :D

Let’s GO I love talking about them! Also it’s disability pride month and talking about rep is important, so this was a great ask ❤️

So, creating the character of Trevor is very different from what I normally do. Basically, I realized that I’d never written about a wheelchair user, ever, and said “oh fuck, well that has gotta change” and committed to giving the next OC I ever worked on a wheelchair. It was a few weeks after that that a friend of mine and I started working on a story concept together, and between the two of us, I was given basically free reign over characters and concept art. So I immediately did several drawings of Trevor in his chair, did some research on reasons a person may need mobility aids, and went to my friend the next day and said “here he is.” That’s the story. That’s where he came from. And since then, he’s become one of my favorites to think about. He’s so much fun and adds a lot to the comedic tone of the story by being a very upbeat and relaxed guy in complete contrast to his nervous and frantic best friend (essentially it’s one guy who is stuck in a cosmic horror story but all of his friends think it’s a chill slice of life). He does have platform crutches, but he doesn’t use them much. He has a pet cat.

A lot of my characters are ND, like. A lot. I don’t even know where to begin listing them all. I am very emotionally attached to every OC I’ve ever had, but I will pick Joshua to talk about a bit here. He has ADHD, he exclusively wears rainbow socks, and he works in a chill little magic bookstore. He’s struggling but he is so loved by his family, his boss, his friends, and he does alright. He has magic abilities that are very unique from the other characters.

I’m still working on worldbuilding for this story, so none of the characters have names yet, but I have one WIP where a good chunk of the main cast is disabled. The protagonist is a double amputee, and one of her friends designed customs prosthetics for her. One of her friends is Hard of Hearing. Another (the protag’s platonic soulmate) is, now that I think about it, probably ADHD? I didn’t have that in mind when coming up with the character, but it would be a valid interpretation of him. He also has this… supernatural thing going on that could be compared to chronic pain and fatigue; I normally dislike the chronic illness rep only being a “curse” or a spell or something, and don’t usually write that kind of thing, but I think it works here partially because this world doesn’t shy away from accommodations and disability already, and we see evidence of that in the main cast. Were he the only one in an otherwise abled group, I probably wouldn’t write this the same. That would feel like a trope to me. (That’s not to say that magic can’t be used as a good metaphor, I’m a huge fan of how The Owl House handles Eda’s curse, I just don’t trust myself not to handle it badly.)

I mentioned for another Blorbo Blursday an unnamed character who I think I referred to as Francis for that post? He belongs here as well, being non-speaking autistic. Just thinking about the magical AAC devices that he has access to make me happy. I’m not the kind of person who wants to write a ton about hardships and struggles; disability is hard, it’s disabling (duh), but that doesn’t mean that all disabled people are living in straight up misery 24/7, and I want to include representation of people who do get the accommodations they need, who are loved and supported, who get to be heroes in both big and small ways. Francis struggles a lot. He has a lot of support needs. But he also has joy. I want the reader to always remember that he has joy.

I don’t always do the best job when it comes to representing groups I’m not a part of. I know this, because it will always be true that im not perfect. But im trying really hard, and I really care about these characters. And I hope that someday, other people will care about them too. ❤️