#the bursar

[aeshnacyanea2000]

There’s a certain type of manager who is known by his call of ‘My door is always open’ and it is probably a good idea to beat yourself to death with your own CV rather than work for him. In Ridcully’s case, however, he meant, ‘My door is always open because then, when I’m bored, I can fire my crossbow right across the hall and into the target just above the Bursar’s desk.’

-- Terry Pratchett - The Last Continent

[pratchettquotes]

"This doesn't sound like Music With Rocks In," said the Bursar.

"Shut up," said the Dean. He blew his nose.

It was sad music. But it waved its sadness like a battle flag. It said the universe had done all it could but you were still alive.

Terry Pratchett, Soul Music

[ansatsu-sha]

The Bursar shrugged. 'This pot,' he said, peering closely, 'is actually quite an old Ming vase.' He waited expectantly.

'Why's it called Ming?' said the Archchancellor, on cue. The Bursar tapped the pot. It went ming.

Terry Pratchett / Moving Pictures

[klinefelterrible]

🫘

Reblog this to give the Bursar three dried frog pills

[dimity-lawn]

[discworldquotes]

He was certain he was anorectic, because every time he looked in a mirror he saw a fat man. It was the Archchancellor, standing behind him and shouting at him.

Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

[helenvader]

‘This is a lovely party,’ said the Bursar to a chair, ‘I wish I was here.’

😂😂😂

[forbannelsez]

SO, i made a quiz, inspired by the post of @lilaclands , figuring out what discworld wizard flavour you are! well, have fun, hope yall like that and i will be more than glad to see who you got💘

[mendedrum]

master of numbers solidarity

Malvolio Bent 🤝 Dr. A. A. Dinwiddie (The Bursar) Solidarity

[klinefelterrible]

And what about you, Rincewind?

Oh, I cannot say that I have a lot of practice, but I keep imagining what would be like if I, uh, bent for the mushrooms with some of my friends, like Archchancellor or Dean or, uhm, Cohen…

Cohen the barbarian?

Uhm, yes. I, uhm, see some action with my friend Twoflower but he, uhm, I, uh… we are getting frequently interrupted.

By whom?

Luggage.

Oh.

He’s scary. But, uhm, sometimes we manage to find some time in the attic and, uhm, we practice. Cohen and I used to practice too, once or twice, but the second after he finished he took off and went killing people.

Oh. If you were to say who was your best one, then—

The Gardener.

Modo?

Yes. He might be in need for a ladder, but once he starts, he gets it done thoroughly, happily and eagerly and without hesitation. He’s never failed. I heard that Ponder lived with him in that shed during that time when Hex was self-maintaining.

Oh, really?

And the wizards were so oblivious that they suspected Ponder was attacked by some Otherdimensional Monsters just because he was walking funny, but in reality him and Modo were–

—Gardening—

Yes, they were gardening all nights long and then some. Do you know whom I suspect for having a lot of action?

The Librarian?

Oh. Him. I have no idea if he is even interested in, well, bananas that way. No. The Bursar.

The Bursar?!

Oh, yes. The Bursar is so flamboyantly gay they have to contain him. Sometimes for a very long time.

Does it mean he–

Oh, yes. He babbles about it all the time, but they give him dried frog pills for him to just stop talking. They have pills for reducing libido or for completely forgetting it, really, but they only don’t want him to babble about it. It is in nobody’s interest to stop his gay ass from giving it away to everyone who wants it.

Oh.

So, uhm, the Bursar doesn’t need more practice but wants it, the rest of the staff need practice but keep forgetting or cannot gather enough will to go for it –except for the times when Bursar is around and free– and, well, The Librarian, uhm–

Ook.

Oh, okay. I didn’t know you were listening. So, uhm… Let’s wrap it, shall we?

"Are you telling me that your university has practicing homosexuals on staff?"

Rincewind stammered. "I. I don't think so. Professor Macarona is so good at it he doesn't need to practice, I'm too nervous to ask, and Ponder doesn't have the time with all his other jobs. I suppose the more senior wizards might be practicing homosexuality." He thought back to some scenes in the Uncommon Room. "They certainly need the practice," he added.

[aeshnacyanea2000]

The Librarian was an orang-utan, and no one thought that was at all odd. The Reader in Esoteric Studies spent so much time reading in what the Bursar referred to as ‘the smallest room’ that he was generally referred to as the Reader in The Lavatory, even on official documents. The Bursar himself in any normal society would have been considered more unglued than a used stamp in a downpour. The Dean had spent seventeen years writing a treatise on The Use of the Syllable ‘ENK’ in Levitation Spells of the Early Confused Period. The Archchancellor, who regularly used the long gallery above the Great Hall for archery practice and had accidentally shot the Bursar twice, thought the whole faculty was as crazy as loons, whatever a loon was.

-- Terry Pratchett - Soul Music

[pratchettquotes]

"But I'd always understood, sir, that Unseen University was against the use of movable type?"

"Oh, I think it's time to embrace the exciting challenges presented to us by the Century of the Fruitbat," said the Bursar.

"We...that's the one we're just about to leave, sir."

"Then it's high time we embraced them, don't you think?"

"Good point, sir."

Terry Pratchett, The Truth

[ansatsu-sha]

The Bursar was a kindly if nervous soul, and quite enjoyed his job. Apart from anything else, no other wizard wanted it. Lots of wizards wanted to be Archchancellor, for example, or the head of one of the eight orders of magic, but practically no wizards wanted to spend lots of time in an office shuffling bits of paper and doing sums.

All the paperwork of the University tended to accumulate in the Bursar's office, which meant that he went to bed tired at nights but at least slept soundly and didn't have to check very hard for unexpected scorpions in his night-shirt.

Terry Pratchett / Reaper Man

[mildlybizarrecorvid]

#bossman you still won't let me vote for the bursar

Oh.

Oh... no...

After this, can I have peace...?

@chaoticwolfharmony

Look what you've brought me to

(this is of course all in jest, I'm a nerd who attempts to be humourous. Not being driven to madness just yet)

[dimity-lawn]

[anreed-bg3]