#the bugs r really weird tho i think? maybe not but 2 me they are strange

[robitherat]

IN OTHER NEWS I am now up to like. 275 mods on stardew valley and my game is only a little tiny bit broken from it. Gonna fix some of them tomorrow to see if I can get everything to work smooth but tbh I'm just impressed my computer is booting the game up period let alone letting me do stuff with a normal framerate

[ghoooooooooooooooost]

i only shared it w a friend before but can i tell you all my death mark 2 au/rewrite... here (spoilers obvi, also body horror + insects warning)

(edited so theres more details smile)

most things r the same except for the departed (and no naked girl cgs OFCOURSE)

making it so that the departed pretends to be daimon instead of the two high school girls

normal daimon is around but he’ll gradually get sick n every now n then something weeeeird happens (as in yashiki accidentally talks to fake daimon. also maybe you see the weird bug ghost that hovers above everyone near endgame with him first)

crowbar scene happens w fake daimon while real daimon is actually passed out somewhere. mashita comforts yashiki n then they both realize its a fake

(that's what these doodles were referencing)

my dearest friend chip suggested the departed could also be konoe so n that would make sense n make him more present in the plot so byeah

we both agreed that they didn't push the bug + mold horror theme far enough so i tried my hand at it. mold can be really gross irl ewwww

my design for departed daimon is actually toned down from the og tho, just bc i thought the weird spider face was more goofy than scary. personally bugs are scary to me when they're crawling on you n burrowing into your skin n making holes n laying eggs in there - like the bees in death mark 1. there was some real-stories tv show abt that specific thing happening that aired when i was a kid n it freaked me out a lot

why was hime's mold just ourple swirls boooriiiiiiiiiiiing

/

edit july 15th 2024 adding this into the main og post since wonderful chippard linked it (basically a neater rewrite of everything i just said + what i said in the reblog addition. i rewrote it for a solo zine hence the proper capitalization lol)

Instead of Himeko and Michiho being The Departed, it’s Daimon and Konoe. Normal Daimon is still there but every now and then he’ll start acting strange or feeling sick due to The Departed’s possession. The “love” aspect would be shown through Daimon specifically too so Doctor Duo ship is canon in this. Konoe basically uses Daimon to try to get to his Dear Husband. In place of going into a coma like in the original, his behavior intensifies and condition worsens until he suddenly runs to the bathroom. When he comes back… dun dun dun… that’s The Departed – Yashiki doesn’t know…! Crowbar scene ensues. But!? After Yashiki tells Mashita, they see Daimon perfectly alive in the infirmary. Yasuoka found him collapsed in the hallway at some point.

The plot would play out basically the same with some changes (no fanservice girl cgs; more Konoe screen-time; Michiho + Himeko act differently; Saki or Abe partner? more school-related ghosts...).

Maybe the game could be longer to give the new characters more time to shine while not removing the returning ones. Not sure how that would work exactly… One possible solution would be to have day segments where we get to play as Yashiki while he's actively teaching (which would also address the "why'd they even pick a school setting" problem bc damn they barely did any school specific plot shit outside of Hanako & Kashima). Would be awesome and in-line with how the first game brought up war if they kept addressing problems with the education system. Also I think I wouldn’t have any unavoidable human casualties after Hanako’s chapter? All the unavoidable deaths made my friends confused about if they were doing something wrong or not and it honestly felt off to me too. It would be compelling if after failing to protect the first student(s), Yashiki actually successfully protects the rest of them in the good route. Making him feel like he’s become more steadfast after the first game and staying true to his word. Especially if Naomi survives in my opinion - ‘she almost dies but is spared if you make the right choices’ or something like that. She could even be in the room when Yashiki sings the school song.

Not sure how I'd make The Departed feel even more connected to the school... Maybe there's a romantic superstition popular among the students that's based off their "wedding ceremony" -- but it's innocent enough to not give away how they died.

[some-creep]

Hi I stole this idea and was too lazy to make new pictures teehee

The details of the complex inner workings of my mind below

Callie signs her name with a heart, Marie is too lazy to finish signing her name it just trails off to nothing.

I don't have specific heights in mind just that Marie is taller (Callie is wearing platform shoes in 3 sorry it's a fact). Also in fable the range skills make you tall and the strength skills make you buff so charger/roller get that too. Simple.

They r the same age. Unless it's funny. Aka one of them being like when I was your age then they explain what they did a week/month/whatever ago.

Not girl, hashtag girl. Callie also isn't picky about who she's with.

Marie was very Girl when she was working as an idol but she's free now. Also she only likes Callie because mental illness.

Callie decides who gets to be the big spoon sometimes it's her sometimes she wants to be held, Marie doesn't really have a preference tho.

Callie steals clothes and loses them, she has that vibe. She has So Many and still takes Marie's. Marie doesn't necessarily want to lend them but Callie will just take them anyway.

Marie isn't a pet name kinda squid... She'll use Cal but that's just a nickname. Callie loves pet names because they embarrass Marie.

Yeah yeah introverted extroverted we know this one.

Callie loves to say I love you and all of that. Marie isn't very good at expressing her emotions thru words but she does things to show she cares.

Callie isn't waiting for a confession because she doesn't necessarily know one is coming. Marie however will eventually breakdown and say it and think Callie will hate her and think she's gross but that doesn't happen.

Marie doesn't like bugs but she has to be brave 😔

Callie splantoon cuttlefish canonically cannot drive. At least, she couldn't before. I just assume she hasn't had time to learn since. Marie doesn't like to drive but she will.

Callie can't cook but would be happy eating candy and junk food. Marie can cook, hypothetically, but usually doesn't because. Y'know. The depression

Marie gets nervous about Callie being publicly affectionate because what if someone sees and gets suspicious. Even in a it's ok no one cares world I think she'd still get embarrassed and just not want people talking about it (everyone totally does). Callie loves affection any time any where.

:) Marie will disappear you if you're bad to Callie. She was always protective but after 2 she maybe went a little. Hmm. Callie is afraid of being alone so she ends up being over protective about Marie at times, too, but more. Normally.

Callie loves dates and going out and casual relationships and meeting new people. Marie misses when she had the idol excuse as to why she doesn't date. She feels intensely inferior because Callie HAS been with people with experience, so what if Callie is just humouring her? She isn't as good as the other people. Callie could be with anyone...

Listen. I think Callie has an insanely high sex drive. So much so Marie has given her permission to just "do whatever" even when she's asleep. Callie wants her to return the favor but Marie isn't as into it. Guilt tends to override any arousal, then inferiority, then general depression, then if she ever gets on meds?? Man. :/

Callie is awkward but she doesn't realize it. She says or does weird things and doesn't realize other people think it's awkward. Marie said she could smell that Callie was around. Girl get help <3

Marie is so jealous :( Callie is regular jealous but Marie if left unchecked could be abusive about it. Not letting Callie go out or getting real passive aggressive like "wow why did I even save you if you never want to be home with me? No it's fine go, you don't care about me anyway"

[the-blueberry-sage]

I am also not a child of r/196, but I'm happy to participate!

1. Name: prefer not to say my real one ;) y'all can call me Blue if you want, or anything else idk

2. Pronouns & gender: Any pronouns, you decide! I've been gender confused for months but I believe I'm agender at this point in time

3. Sexuality: Aromantic and Asexual

4. Country: Norway

5. Top 5 fandoms: bit outta my depths here. I mostly drift around the internet without stepping too deep into like more than maybe 1 fandom at a time. I can tell you stuff I like tho, since im more likely to like fan content of it. Zelda stuff is my current main thing. Spyro, Brawlhalla, i used to really like Harry Potter but idk how to feel about it since it's really hard to separate what I used to like from the Fuckery of Queen Terf... ... Puss in Boots is really good! I keep getting Persona content in my feed and, while I've never played any of the games, a lot of that fanart is really nice! So keep that coming lol

6. What is your most forbidden snack: cat toe bean.

7. Would you pet a bug: If it's big enough that I wouldn't need to worry about crushing it, chill enough that I wouldn't need to worry about it crushing me, and not overly slimy, yeah sure

8. Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class: My skin can't handle saltwater. I get all sore and itchy. I don't know why, I'm not allergic to salt or anything. I think it's just the crystals messing something up. So yeah, sensitive skin means I can't swim in the sea... at least not without regretting it...

9. What does the color blue taste like: blueberries...

10. What's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen: Probably this

Not the most spectacular thing exactly, but something about this shattered piece of coast really mesmerized me. Idk, I like nature and the photo, good as it is, doesn't do it justice :/

11. Stupidest thing you've ever done: When I was a child, my dumbass child brain for some reason decided we were gonna make "the most lethal concoction." So I mixed water with basically anything and everything potentially poisonous I could find, which included stuff from every bottle I could find in both the bathroom and washing room. That would be mostly perfumes from my mom, but also a whole lot of cleaning products. So I might have made mustard gas... At least I was somehow aware enough to mix it all outside...

12. Stupidest thing you've heard/seen someone else do/say: Old friend I hadn't seen in like 5 years casually admits he doesn't believe in covid... this was in 2021... Haven't heard from him since

13. Hyperfixation song: Hysteria by Spiritbox

14. Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username: My pfp is my cat. His name is Leo, he is 13 years old. I love him!

My username is a bit of a story. Basically there's this tiny island barely off the coast not too far away from where I live. It's connected to the mainland at low tide and it's cone-shaped. It's steep hill everywhere but the very top. The entire thing is a forest and absolutely covered in blueberries. So yeah, I went in and returned about an hour later with a bucket full of berries, scraped up to hell and back and fucking covered in moss, grass, twigs and other foresty artifacts. The Blueberry Sage returns with great gifts... We made jam. It was good. I'm not going back lol

15. Dream career as a child: Carpenter. I don't know why.

16. Dream career as an adult: Artist. I do know why

17. Thoughts on cilantro: I don't taste soap. I can eat it. I am worthy!

18. Have you been banned form a location? No. I am good boy

19. What is your cursed food combination? So in Norway it seems around half of people I've mentioned this to think it's normal while the other half think I'm mad. I'm curious what the rest of the world will think. We have a thing called "makrell i tomat" basically boxed mackerel in tomato sause. Take that on a slice of bred with way to much mayonnaise on it. Delicious. Kinda healthy. But I do feel like a gremlin eating this

20. Trans rights: Yes. Now.

I'll tag a few people too I guess, but I'm locked into this post now and I don't wanna type this all up again, so I can't check who has already been tagged elsewhere or who is relevant to tag lol. Sorry about that @junpei-iori-ace-defective @theearthmagicguy @charyou-tree @supersexyghotmew95

“I just came from r/196” ask game

Saw another post. I think I should invite y'all to one of our longstanding traditions. Answer the questions then tag 10 (or more) people. I'll go first.

Name? Frankie

Pronouns and gender? he/they/it, transmasc

Sexuality? Lesbian

Country? USA

Top 5 fandoms? Bungou Stray Dogs, Cosmere, All for the Game, Fundiesnark (not a series but I'm too deep in it to not consider it a fandom), .....the tornado fandom? (they're my special interest)

What is your Most forbidden snack? The preserved bones at the Atlanta Bodies Exhibition. They looked so crunchy...

Would you pet a bug? If it's big enough, it is pettable.

Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class. I like to drive around rural areas and photograph old, sometimes abandoned locations in the dead of night. I have been literally chased out of towns by foot and by car on two separate occasions. The second time this happened, "See You Again" by Miley Cyrus came up on shuffle and that's the soundtrack my friend and I tore out of town to. Also every "guy" I've dated except for my most recent ex (who has big egg energy) is a lesbian now.

What does the color blue taste like? Creme brulee

What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? The appalachian mountains of Tennessee in the middle of summer. There's kudzu everywhere. On the backroads, there were several old, dilapidated Baptist churches barely hanging to the side of the mountain. I wonder how many of them were still in use.

What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? Short version: my friend's house almost got broken into by this dude who'd been stalking us for months while we were home alone. Instead of calling the cops, we decided to confront him with a bow and arrow (me), a hatchet, and a baseball bat (him). The plan was that if it went badly, we would simply throw his corpse into one of the many lakes in the neighborhood and let the alligators eat his remains (this was Florida). Why? Because we were afraid of having our home-alone privileges revoked. Luckily for us all, the guy fucked off and we never saw him again.

Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say? My ex thought that Jackalopes were real. Also, a nurse I was doing rotations with apparently thought that "Witness Protection" was for Jehovah's Witnesses.

Hyperfixation song? Young Enough + Bleach by Charly Bliss

Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username? Profile pic; I'm transmasc and I'm currently obsessed with TriStamp. Username; It was my fake internet name when I was like 13. I won't change it because I want my mutuals to recognize me, and because I do have a viral post associated with this name.

Dream career as a child? Doctor (funnily enough I'm now in nursing school)

Dream career as an adult? Professional Jester. Not a comedian. I just want to be some weird little guy who dresses silly and you can hire me to roast your boss at work parties.

Thoughts on cilantro? Delicious

Have you ever been banned from a location and if so, why? I honestly can't remember? Probably... but in recent memory I've mainly banned people from places.

What is your cursed food combination? Pineapple on a hotdog with grilled onions. It Slaps.

Trans rights? TRANS RIGHTS

Tagging: @rocket-mankoi @mostlymarco @atleast8courics @jazzlike39 @gemsweater72 @limbobilbo @ameliaaltare @redcrane112 @theoneofwhomisblue @twinkenjoyer @theultimatecarp and anyone else who wants to jump on

[charlieism]

sup it's cameron from the discord how do you rank all the starkid musicals?

Oof tricky!

1) Starship bc im in love with Bug and the music slaps! The premise of it is so sweet, and some of the characters are a little 2D but the main ones are so relatable and fun. Also youve got tootsie and megagirls standout romance, and like denise said its a musical for dreamers, which i love. also the sets and the puppet characters are amazing are you kidding me?? Oh my god!!! THE PUPPETS!!!!!!! Its so special aaaaah god

2) TGWDLM bc i just think its rly high quality and all the components of it work rly well together! i enjoy it greatly, the plot is so fun and it balances jokes and emotions so well. The characters are all A++ and its a really enjoyable watch!! Ive seen it so many times and it never gets old

3) AVPM series because its just so iconic, and i cant pick a fav out of the 3. Theyre not the highest quality musicals but theyre So enjoyable to watch and have so many amazing treasured characters lol, and theyre funny as Fuck

4) Trail to oregon bc its a v fun, hilarious musical! I love the audience participation, i love the jokes, the characters r funny and the songs r all so nice i love to sing along to them

5) black friday bc its v high quality and i do love it but its not..my favourite? I feel like maybe i just haven't had long enough to obsess over it like i have the others. Points for the amazing lighting, camerawork n music tho, that stuff was all incredible. The acting was also amazing, and it was a lot darker and emotional than the other musicals, which i can appreciate even if i set a bit of a heavy vibe for me. The characters were all very individual and interesting too!

5) Spies Are Forever bc....well i just love it, we've got that lgbt rep and its quite unique! I love the character growth we see in all the characters and i likr the historical aspect of it. the villains are very good too ;) and like. The first time i listened i wasjt too sure abt the music but now i Love it. Also its probably only musical that made me cry. (ik it's tcb but im counting it)

6) Twisted. Another very high quality musical! I can appreciate how good it is, its not my personal fav otherwise itd rank higher but its very good in a lot of aspects. It's cool to see the 'villains' pov and its very funny

7) Firebringer. V quirky lil musical, the music is good but it doesnt rly stand out to me like it does in other musicals. Love the characters n plot tho! The costumes r also v good, and the set design, and the relationships between characters.

8) holy musical b@man. its never been my fav but batman and superman are very funny characters. the songs arent all my fav but i do quite like some of em! generally imo tho the characters arent quite as likeable as the other musicals, tho i do love batman and supermans rivalry to friendship

9) me and my dick. its a little weird and the plot is... Strange but joey and dick are funny, and joey and sally r quite cute. Its not great quality but i don't mind it and some of the songs r quite good!

10) Ani. I just....dont really remember anything from ani lmao i watched it a few months ago but it didnt rly stand out at all. I know it was quite funny tho, esp jar jar binks, moff tarkin and obi wan kenobi. Also joe walker ran in a crop top once so points for that hkdnfjf

[rhimorechill]

1-30 can i just have your opinion on all of them please

KDHSKHFKFB whoever u are anon ur actually my only follower ever

1. are you of the “tom nook is a crook” or “tom nook is an honest businessman” opinion ?

HES AN HONEST BUSINESSMAN !!! ur loans have NO interest and he was handing out 100k interest/month for a good while there !!!!! the only reason it dropped to 10k is b/c i accidentally made a mil while tryna get dreamies ok. the whole "nook inc owns the entire island" thing is KINDA WEIRD but like ! i mean. its still a pretty sweet deal

2. do you play as yourself or a made up character ?

i play as me !! and then everyone tells me my character is cute which ROCKS

3. where is your house located ?

well CURRENTLY. its just at the center of the island. but once i get terraforming (which will be as soon as i get lolly, mitzi, and purrl) it will be on its own little island in the middle of the island

4. who were your first villagers ?

hamlet and renee ! and bea and agent s and broccolo. oh and quillson. theyre all gone now but i moved bea into a friends island so i can visit her later !!

5. preferable method of earning bells ?

turnip runs babey !!! srsly i will pay like 500k tips and make a million in PROFIT (per run !!) its fucking awesome. i never use turnip exchange tho that shit website always stops telling me where i am in the queue

6. what villager personalities do you typically get along best with ?

i love all of them. so much. normal and lazy villagers might take the cake, but ankha was on my island for 2 days and nearly stole my heart, so snooty villagers r up there too. smug villagers ? like i mostly have experience w raymond b/c i fucking HATED quillson and keaton n ed i barely paid attention to (ed gets points tho. he shares my bday) but that goddamn nerd has a war with slugs. we love to see it. peppy villagers rock (i have THREE on my island rn... but ugh i gotta kick out merry sometime..... i love her but i just !! have too many). i CANNOT hate jock villagers those guys just wanna work out !!! and talk abt working out !!!! theyve done nothing wrong in their whole lives. uchi villagers are great too and cranky villagers r trying their best !!! every villager is good is what im saying. even quillson (i guess)

7. who is your current best friend in the game ?

MGHGSHGD felicity or raymond !!! they send me mail all the time and also i really like raymond. b/c hes such a fucking NERD of an accountant. and felicity was the first of my dreamies to move in so im 💚 when it comes to her...... SOMEDAY. lolly will also be my bff. lolly come home

8. is there a villager you want to get rid of ?

MERRY WHITNEY VELMA. PLEASE GO AWAY. U R ALL SWEETIES BUT NONE OF U MADE THE CUT. ONLY ONE OF U IS EVEN A CAT. (if you want whitney or velma pls dm me !!! someone asked for merry already but id love for them to be on islands where ppl love em)

9. do you hoard a lot of items ?

YES. i did a purge the other day and laid a fuckton of items out to give away. it did not fit and i had to shove some on the cliffs. i still have a big pile waiting to be taken. meanwhile my storage gets new items added

10. take medicine or save & restart ?

medicine is for chumps.

11. where is your favorite spot in your village ?

HMMMM i rlly like my entrance !!!! its rlly neat and has green AND pink mums + trees..... and fencing and a path. IDK i worked hard on it and think it turned out rlly well !!!! other than that maybe my shopping area ? i dont have terraforming yet so theres a lot i Havent Gotten To wrt my island (like my cliffs are almost entirely undeveloped b/c i havent placed any inclines. so theres no pathing)

12. what achievement do you want to hit the most ? (ex: golden equipment, all fish / bugs, etc)

its not REALLY an achievement but i want all my dreamies real bad. after that i want a 5 star island !! i would like a lily of the valley. or 20.

13. do you know any secret tips ?

HMMM i dont think so ?? i dont really know any secrets. ive been trying out campsite cycling and it has Not been going well tho. if u need tips on tting to move villagers out or smthn i can help w that !! this is such a vague q that im like DO i know smthn ??? that is a secret ?????? i also vaguely know abt *m**b* sp**f*ng but im not allowed to do that soooo. thats a pipe dream. fun fact: its not a secret but gardening is SO fucking complicated theres genetics n shit. its wild. thank god someone straight up gave me blue roses so i dont have to go thru that shit. also do not tt backwards when dealing with turnips. not even 30 mins to save ur 600+ prices frm closing time. They Will Change

14. who are your dreamies ?

THESE CATS (i know major shocker from tumblr user pumakittycat. app is acnh life)

15. favorite furniture item ?

HMMMM THIS IS A TOUGH ONE. maybe mum cushions ? those r cute as fuck. i love every flower item, honestly, frm garden wagons to flower stands to pansy tables to hycanith lamps to. idk the bonsai shelf ? i have one of those. i also love my sea globe. its great. WAIT DO RUGS AND WALLS/FLOORS COUNT THERES NO QUESTIONS ABT THOSE i love so many FUCKING items. also autumn woods wall, if ur out there,

16. favorite clothing item / outfit ?

my green clover dress !!!! its the best thing EVER. my full outfit also consists of a silver tiara, a cherry blossom pouchette, white fishnets, and green rubbertoed sneakers. and, ofc, clover facepaint. ALSO FOR CONTEXT. my island is named clover bay thats why im like Clover Time. Theyre Important To The Aesthetic. im also an aro bitch who loves overall dresses. b/c they slap

17. favorite museum room ?

I LOVE THE LITTLE BUTTERFLY ROOM do not even TALK to me unless ur the butterfly room in the museum THERES SO MANY AT ALL TIMES ITS SO NICE

18. cedar, fruit, or palm tree ?

FRUIT. i literally chopped down every single hardwood tree on my island and replaced them w orange trees

19. favorite fruit ?

.......Oranges

20. favorite fish ?

HM. bitterling has a special place in my heart for being my Only fish model. whale sharks also rock tho. and thats only of the ones ive caught !!! i also love frogs, turtles, and obligatorily catfish. oh and seahorses and bettas

21. favorite bug ?

HM. ladybugs maybe. and both birdwings ! maybe also emperors butterflies. possibly others as well

22. favorite flower breed ?

MUMS !!!!!

23. favorite crossbred rare flower breed + color ?

GREEN MUMS.

24. favorite villager personality ?

havent we been over this ? im a dumb bitch who likes all of them way too much

25. favorite time of day to play ?

i uh. play. all the time. i tt a Lot tho so i like setting my time to 1pm ? idk it Feels like a good time

26. favorite special visitor event or reward ? (ex: selecting an art piece from redd, aiding guliver and getting a special item, etc)

SAHARAH. im obsessed w the fucking rugs and the tickets and the lottery. i also love celeste, and gulliver has a spot on the faves list for providing lucky cats sometimes (also a fave item) and for having been to space

27. favorite kk song ?

call me basic, but bubblegum kk plays at all times in my living room

28. favorite animal crossing game ?

ACNH lmao. i never really sat down and got Dedicated to city folk, which is the only other game ive played

29. if you’ve played animal crossing before, are there any animals you’re nostalgic for ? if this is your first game, has any animal in particular left some effect on you ?

ROVERRRRR come home :( also harriet.... i Miss Her. and resetti (i REFUSE to use rescue services dont @ me). and also the bus driver guy who took u to the city. If You Were An NPC In City Folk I Miss You Now

30. share a story from your gameplay

SO. i love the little alien easter egg. i set up a photoshoot and made like a little storyline abt the aliens and stuff. i even got a flying saucer and put that down and used it. and every fucking time !!!! i do shit with aliens !!!!!!! gulliver shows up on my beach. i know he went to space in cf n stuff (I GOT FLAVOR TEXT ONE TIME-- DURING NH-- ABT HIM NOT WANTING TO GO BACK EVEN) so i think its fucking hilarious that the aliens show up.... so does he

[gotatext]

TASK OO1 / OOC SURVEY.

[kermit voice] hallo.... its me 

YOUR ALIAS & NICKNAMES — nora

AGE — 23

TIMEZONE — gmt

PREFERRED PRONOUNS — she/her

MBTI — enfp-infp border cos im an introvert who Masquerades as an extrovert :)

HP HOUSE — i spent 10 yrs of my life thinkin i was gryffindor.... to find out.... huffle....puff...... 

ARE YOU A STUDENT? WHAT DO YOU STUDY? — i fuckin wish! being a student was dope af i got stressed about essays like once a month and apart from that i was just chillin, surrounded by really intelligent people every day n livin it up on the party scene. adult life fucking sucks no one wants to have fun cos we all work fuckin tonnes of hours so we can afford to eat and get paid peanuts xx

ARE YOU ENJOYING IT? — im really afraid of bein one of those jock types who peaked in high school but i deff peaked in uni like 100% i was way more interesting 2 years ago

LINKS TO OTHER ACCOUNTS & SOCIAL MEDIA — im not showin u my instagram bc im a fuckin embarassment but this is pinterest , this is my personal blog, this is my writing / 1x1 blog i never use any more n this is my trash talking twitter where i mostly just cry about timothee chalamet and bash the tories. 

DISCORD USER — kristine’s forehead vein#8664

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FICTION GENRE? — i dont read fanfiction much but when i do u can be sure it’s slow burn angsty enemies to lovers mutual pining heart attack every time one of them accidentally brushes the other’s hand

TOP FIVE FAVOURITE FILMS — suspiria (2018 luca guadagnino version rogue i kno but i prefer the remake), the lobster, before sunrise, baz luhrmann romeo + juliet, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind,  thoroughbreds (REC!! so underwatched pls watch it. compelling female characters), hunt for the wilderpeople (also so underwatched), swiss army man, call me by your name, atonement, moonrise kingdom, trainspotting, the florida project. i rlly like films ok

A BOOK YOU FEEL “CHANGED” YOU? — the song of achilles by madeline miller n also fen by daisy johnson

A MOVIE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? — booksmart cos its fuckin dope

WHAT IS YOUR SIGN? — libra

ARE YOU INTO ASTROLOGY? —  i like to pretend im super invested in it mostly to anger my friends but tbh.... i just use it as a rough guide for character creation.... its fun but i dnt .... fully invest in what it has to say..... altho i am the most unbalanced n indecisive bitch on earth so i guess they got that right !! i just live to please baybeyy!

WHAT PLATFORMS HAVE YOU ROLEPLAYED ON? — tumblr for about 8 year (omg) n before tht facebook..... i was very embarassingly in a twilight rp..... i wrote jane..... i also rped as a scene kid oc n when i was like 12 i was on some weird forum harry potter roleplay where i basically played a self insert with georgie henley as the fc......

WHAT OTHER HOBBIES DO YOU HAVE? — i used to have so many hobbies but now i jst lie in my bed staring at the ceiling. but before i was workin like a dog i loved reading, writing, acting in theatre productions..... going out on the town getting bevved..... big druggy EDM nights in warehouses tht probably weren’t liscenced for tht many ppl..... gigs... costume-design and making, spoken word poetry, acrylic painting n rollerskating but my sister broke my skates abt two years ago in vengeance and i’ll never forgive her that fuckin bitch

HAVE ANY PETS? IF SO, TALK ABOUT THEM! — no my landlord is a fascist

IS THERE A TV SHOW YOU RECOMMEND A LOT? — i’ll never stop reccing euphoria!! also i was pleasantly surprised by looking for alaska!! but i also rlly like bob’s burgers, parks and rec, good omens.... black mirror, n sharp objects. lovesick on bbciplayer (n netflix i think) is also rlly fun

ANY SHOWS YOU LIKE SOME MIGHT BE SURPRISED TO HEAR THAT YOU DO? — maybe love island, idk if i talk abt that much bc i am ashamed but i am so obsessed with it. i even got the love island game n got so invested in my fictional relationship w bobby tht i had to delete it

WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? WOULD YOU RECOMMEND IT? — god god... i haven’t finished a book in ages.... i recently started reading milkman by anna burns, the bees by laline paull and everything under by daisy johnson.... bt the last book i read cover to cover was probs circe. defs read it. feminist and witchy

CURRENTLY READING? — i jst said this but the bees, everything under and less so milkman cos im finding milkman a bit tough

LAST FILM? REC IT? — i watched ladyworld the lord of the flies all-female remake n even maya hawke could not save it.... dnt get me wrong from an art film point of view i loved it but it felt a bit underdeveloped n a level media studies for me..... apart from tht?? the runaways (yorkshire film not released yet at a preview screening) and threads (also a yorkshire film from the 80s about nuclear apocalypse)

THREE MOVIES YOU NEED TO WATCH — portrait of a lady on fire, i work at an independent cinema n we recently had a preview screening and everyone said it was SICK, uhhhh short term 12, n the new eliza scanlen movie babyteeth

WHAT MOVIE DO YOU THINK YOU’VE SEEN THE MOST TIMES? — madagascar because when i was 12 my parents bought me a little television with a dvd player in it for my birthday and madagascar was the only dvd i owned for like..... the first two years of havin the absolute luxury of a tv in my room so i just used to watch it all the time n i now basically know the script inside out

WHAT ALWAYS PUTS YOU IN A GOOD MOOD? — nothing, life is pointless n i hate fun, let me rot in peace

WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE MUSICIAN / BAND? LIST IF THERE ARE MORE THAN ONE. — ughhh god probably lcd soundsystem. gorillaz, the streets, tame impala, talking heads, soft hair, i also love lizz tho n also angry twangy guitar girl bands like girlpool, courtney barnett, best coast, cherry glazerr,

WILD NIGHT OUT OR QUIET NIGHT IN? — quiet night in my party days are over i cant even be bothered to go to the shops if its past 4.30pm and dark these days

ANY PHOBIAS? — clowns n rats

DO YOU LIKE BUGS? — absolutely not

BIRDS? — yes but not if they fly in my face

ARE YOU A CAT OR DOG PERSON? BOTH? — i love both i want one 

BIGGEST PET PEEVE? — tory middle aged boomers who treat me like actual shit on their shoe because i work in the service industry like thats my choice and their poor economic decisions didnt mean i have to do a shitty job to afford to live bcos of austerity n cuts to arts funding meaning i cant get a job writing unless i self-fund :)))

FAVOURITE THING ABOUT THE RPC? — that everyone ive met through rp is a fuckin LAFF

TOP TEN FAVE FCS TO USE? — god .... diana silvers, timothee chalamet, margaret qualley, kristine froseth, froy gutierrez, zendaya, elle fanning, astrid berges frisbey, hunter schafer, leonardo dicaprio

FIVE YOU LIKE WRITING AGAINST? — herman tomeraas, hunter schafer, saoirse ronan, timothee chalamet, froy gutierrez

FAVOURITE TYPE OF FOOD? — linda mccartney 1/2pounder mozzarella veggie burgers, sweet potato wedges, tomato soup, mozzarella sticks, brownies

WORST FOOD? — green things like broccoli n sprouts gross. baked beans cos as a kid ppl used to do baked bean baths for comic relief / red nosed day a lot n i thought when they were finished in the baked bean bath they just put all the cold beans back in the tin. actually anything small that moves around on your plate. peas. spaghetti. sweetcorn. i dont like small things i cant control.

DO YOU PLAY VIDEOGAMES? IF SO, WHAT ONES AND ON WHAT PLATFORM DO YOU PREFER? — last year my housemate had an xbox n i went through a phase of obsessively playin fable 3 it was amazing. i had like 5 husbands and 3 wives and loads of kids but they all ended up leavin me cos i spent so much time out doing quests neglecting them

ANYTHING ELSE YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE WITH THE TAG? — this

LASTLY, HOW DID YOU FIND US? — im one of those bitches who was in this grp all the way back when it was swipe... so quirky and original!! i knew the band before u! anyway im goin now this has been sufficiently embarassing..... i am lame

[princess-pill-enjoyer]

#27

I took.. a lot. the night before all this went down i had already taken 700 but i topped that off with a 600 yesterday morning. I think I woke up at like 4 am-ish something annnd took pills at about 5ish. Tho yesterday I ALSO did 1.6k at 2. So i think for the day I took 2.2k. unless we're also counting the late night one from the day before. Though this'll probably be first and last I take a lot at once like that. I'm still feeling it 20 hours later

(wrote this late august 27th but didn't wanna proofread til now so keep that in mind when I mention days)

AFTERMATH

The first two doses were casualish to me. I used to go 600 at max but nowadays it ain't uncommon for me to do 850-1k. I was mostly the same so no one noticed. They never do tbh. 1.6 is the highest I've ever gone and I was still able to play it off.

As far as symptoms. I've kinda lost my appetite. I'm sure it'll be all back once my body's had the chance to get all the dph out my system but for now I don't really eat. Tho I'm blubbery soo it works out ig. That plus I get random sharp pains in my heart + in my stomach every once in a while. Those I already know why ofc but I also get a milder version in my arms and legs too. I think I've been pretty okay for me to have taken what.. 10 times the normal dose. lemme check

..

it was 32 doses worth

goddamn.. it's starting to freak me out nowadays. That'd be like me getting a perscription but guzzling all the pills for the month in one sitting. (tmi in advance sorry sorry) With me taking THAT much at once you think if somehow someway someone gets my blood they would get high off it? or at the very least treat their allergies. That'd be kinda cool tbh

Ah there was one more thing I noticed. My perception of time ain't the greatest when I'm high anyway. I'm sure it's cause how hyperfocused I am on staying awake plus dph making it hard to remember shit anyway. But on the 1.6.. shit went to the extreme. It was honestly like when I was taking that benadryl-tylenol mix. I'm sure it's mostly due to how much had to be floating around that but man..

When I first started feeling it feeling it I would just be losing my train of thought a lot which led to me forgetting what I was talking about mid sentence a good 70% of the time. Then shit progressed to where I was blacking out randomly. I don't know what exactly happens when I black out. I'm assuming I just continue doing what I was doing and it's really just me forgetting what I just did. But another part of me wonders if I taking mini naps or something. I didn't really get much sleep so maybe my body was forcing me to rest for a bit? I'd black out for anywhere from 30 mins to an hour and a half at a time. I even started hallucinating again which was weirdd.

They were all tame luckily. The most problematic one was me thinking R texted me. I coulda sworn I saw her say I love you on disc. I have a different color for her notifs so I was damn near CERTAIN since it got the color right as well. I still held off on talking to her just incase she tried to talk talk and put the pieces together once she saw how off I was being. I felt like an ass at the time but when I checked the next day I saw that my most recent convo was still the old friend I was otp with. Even if she had deleted it she would've been at the top regardless.

The only other notable hallucinations was the occasional phantom bug. 9 times out of 10 it was just a weird looking shadow but there was a few times where I thought I saw spider legs too. Tho that honestly wasn't toooo. I'd rather have that than texting R about some shit she never did lmao

NOTES/EMOTIONS

I will be mentioning self unaliving a lot in this section so don't upset yourself tryna read, alr?

Ah.. I kinda did say I'd explain my flakiness annnd the shit I'm upset about now semi relates so here we are.

It's hard to explain. You always hear people be yourself no matter. Not to say anything is wrong with that. I just.. I don't know how to interpret that if that makes any sense. I feel like atp I'm only still here to spare my family's feelings (with that including R of course) so it throws me in a thought loop

On one hand, I'm only alive to spare their feelings. I have no real goals, dreams, or plans as far as what I want to do next. So it really wouldn't matter if I just went with whatever they want me to do even if I hate it. Not like I have any better ideas. It makes me feel like I should take all the judgment I'm flung and change accordingly. If I'm alive for them, wouldn't that make the most sense? I'm gonna come back to rock bottom no matter what i do. I might as well just do it for appearance's sake

Tho on the other, if they want me to really do whatever I and only I wanted, would they be angry if I left? Would they understand the struggle and misery I've gone through trying to keep it together for them? It feels stupid to let myself be tethered to this place for people that don't even know me really. I'm sure they'll be hurt for a time sure but.. is that a good enough reason to still be here? I can only leech for so long. I have no plans to go back to college as I am. scared. going from effortless 3.75 to a barely gotten, struggle filled 1.7 killed that for me. I can't afford to keep trying and trying until I hit this magical brain switch that suddenly makes all that easy. Im already nearly 20k in debt from that single semester alone.

And what's so frustrating about this circle thinking is that i KNEW it'd go down like this. I've been wanting to kill myself since 3rd grade. Even with my reasoning being vastly different throughout all this time, at the end of the day, I've been treating my suicide as an inevitability. I get so worked up over any and everything, I have to push and fight myself every fucking day to do the bare minimum, and I never wanted to be in a position where I'm stuck doing something I hate just to get by every month. It's just too much.

I've set various age goals throughout the years to keep me from doing anything too stupid. Originally it was 14 so I could get a job and get better supplies for that sort of thing. Then it was 16 cause by then I was supposed to have a car and I would be allowed to date at that age. Then the latest one was 18 and 6mo. 6mo probably sees random but it made sense to me anyway. Seniors get out of school bout 2 week- a month earlier than everyone else. So I damn near had the house to myself for a little while. Then even once they went on summer break, I still was chilling since I didn't move into my dorm til early october. So I had damn near 5mo to do whatever I wanted with hella open house money to fund it. I figure, since I had all that money and have months and months to do whatever AND im finna be living by myself, if I still wanted to do it, it is what it is

But now look at me. 19 annd nearly 3 months and I'm worse than ever before. It makes my stress tolerance so much lower. Anytime I get upset I turn it back onto myself. If I had just got it over with back then, people wouldn'tve had to see me degrade into the person I am today. If I would have done it back then, I wouldn't need to stress about college, work, money, love, or whatever else. I never wanted any of this. I just wanted to do what was expected of me to keep the peace. But now even when I'm trying to do that, it's not working. It was bound to happen someday tbh. I wasn't gonna be able to half ass my way through life forever. Still.. it crashed and burned quicker than I thought

I feel so trapped. I don't know what to do anymore. Everyone is gonna see it all. My stepmom actually did just called me out for sitting around for this long lmao. I guess it has been a while. I came back for winter break in late December and here I am still. No money and no school. I keep replaying her words over and over again. It slightly pissed me off initially. I've withdrew so much within these last few months to the point where it's rare for either of them to see me more than maybe.. once a day. Plus I've TOLD her I've been struggling for years now and nothing has changed.

Told her I might be struggling with some form of adhd after seeing how hard my workflow was thrown off since quarantine started. Then like 2-3 mo later after radio silence on that stuff she asked me a few questions about therapy preferences then when I told her she told me to book it myself when I'm 18.. Then another time when I was arguing with my dad over something and she started screaming in my face which drove me to a panic attack that she ignored and continued to yell at me until my sisters butted in. She tried to yell at them to but I think I freaked them out with my crying so they didn't budge. Oh yeah. And that middle school thing where I ratted myself out anonymously for being suicidal and actively writing out drafts for it. I didn't like the therapist I had so I stopped going and it was never mentioned again.

Tangent. Sorry. I bring all this up to say it irritated me since I've been asking for help on and off for years now and no one listened. I'm always written off as overdramatic or whiney, or hormonal or whatever th and now I can see she just thinks I'm just a lazy fucking bum. It doesn't even make sense. I've said this was an issue of mine but since I wasn't failing in high school and I don't boohoo in front of them, it was never addressed so why is anyone shocked that this is how I turned out? Why am I now the failure of the family

Whatever anyway. i thought on it longer and I can't put the blame on them entirely. At the end of the day, I should've fought more to get the help I needed before shit hit the fan. I dunno. I've always been like this.

Ig it doesn't really matter now does it?

I feel like I'm at the end of my rope. I'm getting backed further and further into this corner and it's going to blow up soon. I know it. I don't want to be around for that. Too much to uncover. I've fucked myself so may times thinking it wouldn't matter because of xyz thing but all of its coming back. It makes me want to go even further tbh. It feels like my only choice. No one will take it seriously until then. Even then, I'd probably go for round 2 just to do it. I am genuinely.. tired.

[saportuh]

ok panic concert highlights

(plus some personal adventures)

this was the portland show on the 12th k

so it was a fuckin hour and a half drive bc where i fuckin live now is far away from everything i hate it anyway that sucked & i ran my phone down to 80 percent during said drive which proved problematic

we get there (me & my lil sis) & our dad drops us off & we run up & im bitching about how weird the fucking venue is (it’s normal, it’s just not what i’m used to - in vegas the venues were typically in the casino/resorts so you lined up inside the halls & sat against the walls & tourist-watched, in this venue u stood outside in a line???? ughhh)

so we approach the line & something happens, i’m gonna make a separate post about it because holy shit

befriended two excitable gay kids, maybe 8th or 9th grade?? & i was like woah i was u once. now im old & jaded. eugh. then they bailed on me so.

we got into the arena & were on the wrong fucking side so we had to JOG all the way AROUND THE WHOLE FUCKINGN PLACE UGH

THEN WE GOT IN & SAT IN THE WRONG SEATS so the guy next to me (dad w a thick accent, maybe ukranian?? it wasn’t russian but it was close) politely informed me & i was like fuck well until they get here we’ll stay, but i had anxiety so during an arizona song i pretended to go to the bathroom & came back to look for our actual seat, someone took it so i pussied out & went back, had hella anxiety about it, then before hayley the ppl showed up so we had to move & i had to kick some preps out of their seat & they called my lil sister a bitch ;-;

OK SO ONTO THE PERFORMERS

arizona was cute, gotta check them out... singer kept getting emotional & wiping his eyes, it was sweet, and he was hella feeling himself dancing & stuff lmaoo. idk em but im proud of them.

HAYLEYYYYYYYYYYY her dancing & drumming & outfit??? also all the lesbians/wlw getting crunk in the crowd was so damn good haha

ALSO shout out to hayley’s band, they were so cute??? the guitarist & her kept having moments & he seemed like a cool dude, & the girl on synths was so pretty omg??? & smiley i loved her. & the drummer, they were goin so hard i couldnt get a good look, but they had kewl hair

“if you don’t know anything about me, there’s one thing you should know: I LOVE GIRLS” there was so much gay energy at that show i was teary the whole damn time

k confession, i love everything about hayley but i find her voice a little grating on the ears, something about it, but it was super angelic live & didn’t bug me once, & wanna be missed fucked me up cuz it’s my fucking f a v

SHE DID THE DRUMMY IT WAS HOT 

her oufit was so damn iconic rlly tho, the pants & shoes totes fit her but wouldn't look good on anyone else, but that shirt, the hot dad look w the open v & all the jewelry, holy fuck that’s how im tryna be

during girls like girls, everyone had their lights out & there was a bunch of pride flags out, and i got this gorgeous shot of a gay pride flag illuminated by lights (i posted it)

most of the songs they played between the breaks were gay themed too which was powerful dude i was so damn emotional

then during the countdown to panic, they played the next episode by dre (the “smoke weed every day” song) & then africa by toto jsfndjfndjskfnjdk

THEN PANIC CAME OUT 

WHOLE ASS STRING & BRASS SECTION BDEN RLLY WENT THERE WOAH

KENNY & NICOLE WERE SO CUTE THE WHOLE TIME THEY KEPT GOOFING AROUND ESPECIALLY KENNY IT WAS ADORABLE

THEN BREB POPPED OUT THE DAMN FLOOR

ok several things about breb

one, i never was heavy into panic, but considering how obsessive i was into bandom a few years back, i still know a lot about early panic, livejournal shit, ryden bullshit, etc, so it was really weird being there with normies who were just like “he’s hot & sings good” when i was like “yall lucky fucks never heard of myrtle beach ” dsjfnjsdnfds

two, four years into panic & i never was attracted to brendon, but dude, EVERYONE fell in love with him at this show, myself included, & i was starin at this bitch ass motherfucker in a trance before i was like “wait ur a bastard STOP U ENDEARING DICKWAD” he was so fucking endearing it was ANNOYING cuz i’ve seen some of the shit he’s pulled damnit. srsly tho, so absolutely charming, wow.

three, and what stuck with me most; brendon loves what he does. a little bit of exhibitionism, i think; he likes ppl looking at & admiring him, he’s that type of person, a showman, but also, i think he just loves making music, people singing along to the music, etc. ive been to eight concerts now, and i don’t think i’ve seen someone who clearly loved being on stage so much. a lot of ppl act like it’s a chore to tour, but brendon clearly loves it, and it made me happy, especially as an aspiring musician. 

four, the straighties drooling over him and the gays drooling over him was truly straight/gay solidarity

ok what else happened... brendon would throw in random ass high notes towards the ends of songs... my sister looked at me super alarmed when he first did it during dtmwagt lmfao... ppl would cheer & it was impressive, but kinda piercing & i was like “show off” lol

HE DID THE ‘I MAKE THESE HIGH HEELS WORK’ thing, i thought he retired tht?? so i was pleased lmfao

i dont rmr anything that stands out about ready to go or la devotee but the lights & backgrounds during them were very pretty & i got some good pics of brebbois face (i finally got semi decent quality pics im rlly happy abt tht, concerts r so hard to photograph)

hallelujah was cool cuz there were, like, those catholic(?) church windows projected on the top part of the stage, it was pretty af, they rlly outdid themselves with the visuals

and mona lisa had like pipes & industrial stuff?? idk it looked dope, and it contrasted rlly cool it was super pretty

nine in the afternoon,,,, the only pretty odd song... i dont even like pretty odd but it was like,,, damn. & he had the piano, total live in denver vibes ;-; but he wasnt dripping sweat this time lmao

golden days, brebweenie knows hes hot, kept winking & doing mic flips & shit & i was like u fucken weenie ive seen that pic of u w a bowl cut in a bra, die

k he’s a fuckin bastard but hhe’s pretty & talented fuckin big ego bitch ... can yall tell i hav a lovehate relationship w him bc i do

I GOT THIS ONE PART ON VIDEO DURING GOLDEN DAYS WHERE KENNY & NICOLE R FUCKING AROUND & MAKING FACES & GOOFING IT’S SO CUTE

during casual affair in the chorus, the mic would echo each word (just lay (lay) in the atmosphere (sphere) & the ‘lay’ was rlly good on my ears idk sometimes certain vocal notes sound GOOD & that was one i keep replaying it

SO VEGAS LIGHTS as yall kno i was born & raised in vegas & a vegasfucker69 it’s my fucking home i moved last november (not my choice) & miss it violently & i was CRYING during vegas lights hard & it was so beautiful im gonna watch the video i got over & over & over that song means so much to me IM SO FUCKING HOMESICK

speaking of which, im pretty bitter i didnt see panic in vegas, this was my first panic show & that kinda bothers me, like i should’ve seen them in vegas a few yrs ago but it never worked out.... still, im grateful i saw them at all & im glad i saw the song live. i had my fob snapback on too, it says ‘las vegas’ on it cuz i got it there haha, wore that on purpose

he did the fucking running man thing towards the end & everyone cheered & i was like dONT ENABLE HIM

sat down during dancing’s not a crime cuz im a bitch who doesn’t like half the new record & also my knees hurt cuz im old apparently, anyway this chick glared at me then sang every word wat a fuckin prep lmao

o yah i forgot, in golden days he got in the crowd & let a girl sing the last chorus it was amazing i bet that made her life

AND DURING DOAB HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD that was SO FUCKING ENDEARING i was like “wow what a guy” then i was like “HE’S A BITCH U KNOW HIM” & i was like “hmm??? what a guy” but omg he made so many people happy it was really beautiful & sweet & i was like... half in love & then i came to my senses jksjfhjsdhfkjsdn

RLLY THO HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD & HIGH FIVED PPL & SHIT & GAVE HUGS & TOOK ART/LETTERS IT WAS SO DAMN GOOD HE WAS SO SWEET & LEGIT EVERYONE WAS FALLING FOR HIM & I WAS LIKE SUFFERING

legit guys, like it’s weird i used to watch his parascopes in 2015 or w/e & he’d say some Bad shit on there sometimes, like ik he does some messy shit BUT HE ACTED SO FUCKING LOVELY BLEH

also he’s very short, like he’s 2 inches taller than me but he looked so little in the crowd i was like... aw

the piano thing ;-; it was rlly pretty but my paranoia & anxiety was off the charts i was like that things gonna fucking fall & crush the crowd it’s gonna fucking fALL but it didnt ofc but i was stressed bleghh

but ok on a positive note, that was soo fucken lovely, bden stopped to try to make eye contact with as many ppl in as many places of possible, like he made the effort to get to everyone & make them have a special moment & it was ... magical ok thts fucken cliche as shit but it rlly was

ok i did smth lowkey embarrassing, i doubt he saw, but when he faced towards us i was just overwhelmed w like.. gratitude?? ive had a bad 2 years in every way, so being somewhere filled with love & fun & kindness & joy & all around good vibes, i was so grateful? i just wanted to thank him for creating that kinda atmosphere. so i like,,, blew kisses but not in a weird way, like later i was like oh that was kinda weird whyd i do that, but at that moment i didnt use my head & it was jus my instinctual way of saying thank u idk it’s lame but it happened so there ya go idfk

fun fact, my vid of it is out of focus cuz i was so enamored watching him & watching the crowd react it was pretty fucking magical it rlly was

once he got down from that piano he went “wow i feel so fucking inspired now” & i was like “bitch me too tf” 

legit it was absolutely indescribable, even watching my vid now.... wow. and u can hear me lightly crying in the back of my video too lmao, and i was shaking p hard, it was so fucking magical. like im getting emotional rn cuz it was exactly what i needed to remind myself that there is good stuff in the world thats worth staying for. 

i never was super big on panic or breb like i said but if i ever meet him im gonna thank him bc that. wow. transformative.

also that transition from the piano cover he did to dying in la was smooth af. it was all around gorgeous.

OK GIRLS GIRLS BOYS, I WAS SO CONCERNED W FILMING I COULDNT PUT MY LIGHT ON (i had a red heart) BUT OMG

he got a bi flag first, then a rainbow one, then another rainbow one... one was those hayley ones lol, and one ended up on the stage out of his eyesight & he never saw it & i felt so bad fjdnfds

G-D ALL THE GAYS SINGING WAS SO EMOTIONAL & THE RAINBOW BEHIND THEM ON STAGE (AND PAN FLAG COLORS AT TIMES?!??!?!)) IT WAS FUCKING MAGICAL & BRENDON LET A FLAG DRIFT IN THE WIND FOR A SEC BEFORE HE PUT IT ON IT WAS GORGEOUS

AND ALL THE RAINBOW LIGHTS IN THE CROWD FUCK DUDE

breb might be a turd but he’s the only one of these emo dudes who parades around draped in flags & so aggressively empowers gay fans through it, and for that, i respect him. ik the song has more perverse origins but now it’s a bi anthem that rlly connects w lgbt fans & it’s rlly beautiful, AND i got another gorgeous shot of a pride flag surrounded by lights & im just. wow.

after, breb said “that is gorgeous btw” about the rainbow lights, and “thank u for participating in love” & giggled, i got this shot of the lights in the dark lookin incredible ;-;

also said “this a record number of flags tonight, very cool” so portland is rlly gay apparently, kewl

nicole doin the nicotine bass line slayed me dead wowie u can hear me go “WOO” on the vid lmfao (im a bassist so i lov her double)

ive seen miss jackson live twice now cuz at my monumentour show, new politics brought lolo out to cover it so that’s dope lmfao

anyway bden did the fuckin valley girl voice for “the scenery is so loud” which was delightful

he had us do the ‘ayyyy’ bit woo

NICOLES BASS,,, SPARKLY

drum thingy ;-; speaking of monumentour, andy & patrick famously did a drum off & i MISSED IT cuz the stage at my venue wasnt large enough to fit both sets ;-; so they didnt do it ;-; but bden doin his own drum solo kinda made up for it a little bit

fuckin show off tho he played like 3 instruments & i was like u bitch stop

there was some kinda audio sample that went “i got a fever & the only prescription is more caffeine(?)” & bden mouthed the words along, and some girl behind me went “SAME” 

UPDATE: googled it, i knew i recognized chris walken’s voice, he says cowbell not caffeine & it’s a skit from snl that i’ve SEEN im a disgrace anyway that was fun also woo cowbell

the big screen kept cutting from bden drumming to a shot of the crowd & someone holding a pride flag & i was like yah drumming is gay now

lmao i only filmed like a minute of a song unless i rlly liked it so i could spend the rest of the song gettin funky right?? & i like king of the clouds but not a ton, but i filmed the whole thing cuz the visuals were so pretty lmfaooo i jus was staring at them like wowwww prettyyyyy

during the ‘i dont feel anything at all’ he looked rlly sad & i couldnt tell if it was genuine or if he was goin for like a pouty look djfdsjfndjks then right after he winked so ig pouty thx breb

at some point he introduced nicole&kenny plus the strings & brass ppl as “his friends” it was sweet & he was like “these lovely ladies” about the strings & “these handsome men” about the brass & i was like WOO GAY RIGHTS

FIRE DURIN CRAZY EQUALS GENIUS. BOZ FLASHBACKS. FIRE ON MY FACE HUNDREDS OF FEET AWAY. FEAR. DONT LIKE FIRE. SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION. KENNY WAS TOO CLOSE. FEAR.

a whole arena singing bohemian rhapsody 25+ years after freddie mercury’s death was Incredible, i dont believe in afterlives but if there is one i hope he was watching & enjoying & knowing his legacy was staying alive bc wow that was powerful

THE END WAS CRUNK AF HOLY SHIT BDEN GOT DOWN

i cant believe i remember the day emperors came out like,,,, jeez. so lit live tho

I HAVENT MENTIONED HIS SPARKLY SUIT YET. KING OF SPARKLY SUITS

BRENDON DOIN HIS HIGH NOTE BIT & THE STAGE LIGHTING UP FULLY ON FIRE FUCK DUDE

bitchden took his shirt off when he came out for the encore..... bitch

SINS,,, FUCK DUDE,,,, MY CHILDHOOD WAS CRYING HHYSTERICALLYYY, 

in the background of my vid u can hear me do the ‘ily’ ‘ily’ from the mv emo ass

my lil sis got fucken turnt to sins lmfaooo??? danced her ass off???

us: W H O R E bden: ily

VIOLINISTS GETTIN WILD TOO

they played footage of the music vid & breb & his fuckin iconic outfit & i was a lil emo kid again omg i cant believe i saw it live

he did funny voice durin calls for a toast nerd ... least he’s not entirely bitter abt songs ryan wrote anymore tho lmao... or maybe he is considering theres only two on the 30 song setlist ;-;

i gotta listen to afycso again damn it’s so iconic

oh yah at some bit he said “ive been doing this for 14 years, im 31 now” & it reminded me like.. most of these emo bands, they started so young. & got successful at such a young age. it’s so crazy. idk. wow. 

he got growly during the chorus, that’s pstump’s thing beeb dont steal it lmao

CONFETTI fitting ending, & i got him walking off which is cool, other bands it goes dark & they just kinda disappear & it’s unsatisfying ;-;

so yah i finally saw breadman live, i got 400 pics and 30 videos so that all got spam posted over the last few days lmao

[rockybalfeatherboa]

getting these mtl headcanons outta my system

This is a long ass post but these r some random metalocalypse hcs that I feel kinda strongly abt some r real silly ok here it goes 

Aka me projecting

Toki - Enjoys activities like roller skating, weight lifting and boxing (that’s why he’s yknow fucken ripped) - Also enjoys model cars but not nearly as much as his beloved fighter planes - Thick brows - Hair is very thick and smooth (and,,pretty) but he doesn’t put a lot of work into is making the other guys kinda jealous - Sometimes shaves his legs below the knee but that’s it - Does shit like host teen choice awards and guest star on children’s tv shows BUT THEN acts surprised when kids love him,,,tf bitch this is ur fault - Absolutely loves physical affection he fuckin loves hugs and kisses!!!! - Prefers making out and titty groping groupies (and maybe a blowjob) over having sex with them .. but will still do it if he feels like he’s up to it - Kisses with his eyes open (and overall just real fuckin weird ok) - Keeps the video from Juliette sarmangsadandle in his nightstand he treasures it - Mostly writes his own keyboard parts for songs - Band thinks he’s hilarious when he doesn’t try to be but when he tries to tell jokes they don’t work ,, but he’s really funny in Norwegian it’s just the jokes don’t really translate too well so he just,,keeps it to himself - Pickles taught him how to smoke and now they like to chill and smoke together it’s like “their thing” - But he’s really picky about it he only smokes indica - (This is me projecting) Learned the phrase “if u feelin froggy then jump” and never stopped using it

Skwisgaar - shaves e v e r y t h i n g bc of 1) the aesthetics and 2) loves the way it feels - long lovely legs - huge fucken feet - has a klokateer pluck and tweeze his eyebrows them shits be on fleek - cries in secret at least once a day it’s become routine - He kept in touch with his Swedish gf for a while but then fell off and went back to hoeing #hoe4lyfe - Secretly wishes he can go back to wearing all white but he has to maintain brand recognition bc of the band - Wears very slight sweet smelling cologne behind his ears and wherever else cologne goes - Either eats a fuckton or not very much during the day,, keeping his metabolism on her toes - Guitar playing for him is like ultimate stress relief and also he fidgets with it he loves that thing - Has a book of various songs or riffs that he’s written on the guitar that dethklok will never ever use - Wears highlighter - Has run into one of his grown ass children in the bank one time and had to get the fuck out of there immediately,,they didn’t realize it was him tho -  Puts his feet on nathan just to bother him - Great teeth / really conscientious about hygiene - Cold hands and oily skin type - He has a pretty good sense of rhythm but ,, he can’t dance he can’t dance for shit oh my god it’s a disaster to look at - “I look like I can’t cook… that’s accurate” - When he drinks wine he does that thing where he swirls it around like a bougie piece of shit - Lactose intolerant :/ - Talks with his hands a l o t it’s over dramatized and very fascinating to watch - Responds to compliments with “I know”

Murderface - closet gay*   *gay but he grew up in such a homophobic environment so he tries to ignore it and pretty much force himself to be straight, explaining his constant trouble with women (Bc the attraction isn’t genuine ) and his fragile masculinity (so he’s always a “fellas is it gay to-“ or a “no homo” type of guy ),, his self esteem issues don’t help this out at all - big fuckin crush on skwisgaar (and skwis loves the attention) - sleeps with a retainer - hair is so dry,,,,,,please give this man some conditioner oh my god - knows pretty much everything about the civil war and the American revolution literally ask him anything he’s like a textbook - Somebody come get this man a pedicure - He has a lot of fans and they adore him it’s just that he’s oblivious to it,,, ppl love murderface!! - He’s not as ugly as he thinks he is or that people make him out to be, it’s just that people may think that only Bc the rest of Dethklok is so pretty. He kinda just ends up looking the worst by four-way comparison. It’s just a different type of look he has there’s nothing really wrong with his appearance - Imma go head and say it,,,he uses “y’all” - He and toki have actually made some decent songs for planet piss but it’s usually when they’re jamming out so they pretty much never get recorded 🤷🏽‍♀️ or remembered - He can move his dick voluntarily I mean I already knew that people with dicks can do this but murderface has like a whole new level of control with his - Got banned from Fintrolls bc he pissed in the olives but he just keeps coming back bc what are they gonna do? nothing - He takes his weapon/torture device collection very seriously like when u walk into his room u better not touch a damn thing or so help me -

Pickles - has nose piercings but doesn’t wear em - Small ear gauges - Strong toned legs especially shins and calves - Has not had a swig of h20 in 6 years but somehow has nice skin (a mystery) - Loathes Seth but absolutely a d o r e s  the baby!!! He loves that damn baby and always appreciates when Seth or amber send pics or FaceTime call !! Fuckin uncle pickles!! - Helps toki compose his keyboard parts for songs (Bc he too can play the piano) - Kinda flexible but not as he used to be,,he used to be able to do a full split - Likes to bug Charles a lot bc they’re the closest in age , sometimes they hang they’re good buds - Watches shitty reality tv (bad girls club, LHHATL (it has to Atlanta), etc) as a guilty pleasure - Kind of an asshole but in a way that leaves u wanting more - Played basketball freshman year of highschool,, he was ass at it lmao - Idk how much this has to do with being a headcanon but if pickles was a vine he’d be “I said whoever threw that paper, ya moms a hoe” he just carries that energy - Smells like a light combination of weed and cologne it’s really nice - Will tell one of his band mates to go blow their nose if they’re sniffling too much

Nathan - doesn’t like it when people touch his hair without asking but HOWEVER if u ask before u do he’d probably say yes ,, just gotta warn him first damn - Hates hates h a t e s feet it’s like a weird squirmy phobia. He’s ok with his own feet and just *seeing* other peoples feet but let someone’s bare foot touch him and he’d probably black out tbh - Really socially awkward outside of his stage presence but I think we all knew this - Nathan’s really sweet he just ,, u gotta know him - Really emotional when he’s drunk - Secretly cussing out everyone in his head - He doesn’t completely dislike physical affection but he’s not crazy about it either - Also kisses with his eyes open (but unlike toki he’s trying to work on it) - Dad bod but we all knew this too - Slightly introverted ..he likes to party and shit but can only take that much social interaction for so long then it’s time for him to go home - Eyes are so striking and pretty oh my god it’s like they’re shining it’s all his gfs favorite thing about him - ,,,,,,,thicc - He’s one of those people that rip off their hangnails instead of cutting them 😖 - He can throw down on the grill goddamn why isn’t he in charge of snacks? - Knows how to suture a wound with some level of proficiency - He loves his parents he just hates how they embarrass the fuck out of him god leave me alone mom and dad! - This is ironic to the last thing but remember that video where it was like “son let me hear some of your music” “I don’t think you’d like it” “c’mon let me listen” and the song is just “I hate my dad I hate my dad I hate my dad” the whole time yea that was Nathan in high school - Strong arms (b,,beautiful) - As a kid he used to poke at roadkill for uhh entertainment - Used to be self conscious about his reading glasses but doesn’t gaf anymore - Severe case of resting bitch face he’ll literally be chillin but his face will be mean muggin but that’s just the way he looks - Tried PCP and ended up having to be chained to his bed betcha he’ll never smoke that shit again - likes crime investigation shows and serial killer documentaries - Will n e v e r  refuse a fresh hot salted pretzel

[dong-hyucks]

tags ♡

tagged by : @jinguobells and @andromedaneedsoxyjin !! tyty :)

as always, italics are by jade and bolded are by cj ps, to all of you interested, a hyuck scenario will be posted later today (and maybe? a minho one) from me for the christmas special ! (link in bio)

alphabet soup tag

rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better.

A: age | fourteen (fifteen in two months :’)) // sixteen,,, sweet sixteen sixteen sixteen

B: birthplace | canada :) // wisconsin lol

C: current time | 21:07 // 17:05

D: drink you had last | chamomile tea // diet dr. pepper

E: easiest person to talk to | ,,, animals in general i live a sad life // my four close friends

F: favorite song | day6′s ‘i loved you’ // day6′s ‘i like you’ 

G: grossest memory | once my brother and i were in a prank war and he decided to leave ten caterpillars on my bed aND I DIDNT REALIZE UNTIL AFTER I LIED DOWN (i’m usually okay w bugs but caterpillars,,, no) // i don’t really know,,, i’m pretty boring. but, once i had a cyst in my hand and it was all swollen and weird looking. that was pretty gross. 

H: hogwarts house | hufflepuff !! // slytherin *hisses passive-agressively*

I: in love? | with reading (i have a crush but it’s not that serious lmao) // what is love? jk,,, but no. i don’t love anyone except for maybe the person who answered before me <3<3<3 and my lovely stray kids gc frands

J: jealous of people? | generally, no, but for some things, yes // it’s not really jealousy, but i do get worried that people will leave me (it’s more like minor paranoia)

K: killed someone | yes, of course << nO // in my head,,,,, yes,,,

L. love at first sight or should I walk by again? | suddenly i can’t see iM JoKiNG // oml love at first sight? idk how to love ... (but feel freE tO loVE mE)

M. middle name | phuong vy // jean

N: number of siblings | one // none (;-;)

O: one wish | to be able to just enjoy life normally lol world peace // to be able to travel from one point in the world and circling back to it, learning languages, cultural aspects, and making friends along the way. (omg jade’s is sm better tho lol).

P: person you called last | my friend bc he was lost haha // what is calling? is she in my history class? idk her? jkjk, i called my mom, bc she was taking too long with the food.

Q: question you are always asked | are you okay? did you sleep last night? how do you spell your name again? what is your name again? (i’m such a forgettable person) // why are the bags under your eyes so big? why don’t you wear make up? you’re in my class? (i don’t wear makeup ‘cause idgaf about what i look like lol)

R: reason to smile | hyuck my friends and family, reading, writing, animals, equality // << basically the same things (also,,, net neutrality ;-;)

S: song you sang last | camila cabello’s havana // why so lonely - yg silver boys remix (i’m in love w/ the silver boys)

T: time you woke up | today? i didn’t lol i pulled an all nighter // 6:15ish (i had ensemble practice ;-;)

U: underwear color | black and white // white

V: vacation destination | london, paris, or italy // bangkok, australia, seoul, singapore, or hanoi (i highkey want to go everywhere tho)

W: worst habit | p r o c r a s t i n a t i n g // singing 25/8

X: x-rays | for my teeth ? // yep! two actually! i once fractured a growth plate in my wrist and a couple months later fell straight onto that same shoulder.

Y: your favorite food | sinigang (na baboy) !! // i’m not super sure, bc food is great, but i really like fried chicken

Z: zodiac sign | aquarius // aries

Ultimate bias: everyone knows this lol lee donghyuck ♡ // min yoongi,, i lov

Ultimate bias wrecker: either lee daehwi or park jimin,, // hansol vernon chwe, lee daehwi, or park minhyuk (ye i’m trash)

Favorite kpop song: day6′s i loved you // day6′s ‘i like you’

First kpop song: later later (covered by svt star team) // i mean,, techincally it was gangnam style ;-; but really,,, it was bts’ i need u

Favorite kpop album: astro’s spring up ♡ // i’m absolute trash for love yourself,,, i hate to be basic lol, but,,, whenever i hear sea, i start to tear up.

Favorite kpop ship: i don’t really ship lol <-- same cyn //  i don’t ship romantically,,, it feels weird to me (you do you tho), i ship platonically. my fav platonic ships are gyuhao and jikook

Hard or soft fan: im in the middle <-- again,, same cyn //  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ehh. both idk ;-;

Favorite kpop company: fantagio !! // pledis!

Backstory of how I got into kpop: i’ve heard of kpop since i was in gr. 2/3 bUt i never really got around to listening to it (plus, after gangnam style came out it got really annoying bc all of my classmates would yell the incorrect lyrics smh) bUT in 2014 i came across a svt video,, and there we go i was sucked into this black hole that is kpop // yeah, so basically, i started making fun of my friend for listening to the music, and one day she just shoved an earbud in my ear (aggressively,, if i may add) and made me listen to the rest of i need u, and i was in awe. from that day on,,, i’ve loved the music. (i think it’s important to not only love the idols, but to love the music they make. they work hard to tell their stories through music, and that deserves to be appreciated)

tagging : @hellohaechan @ugyeoms @chenlays @jisung @hyucksrose @nctimagery

[albanuvo]

Accident

Based on real events that happened on Oct.6th 2017

Like every weekday now, the alarm goes off 6 am. I run to the bathroom to put toothpaste on Ayden’s toothbrush and go into the kitchen to heat up his one waffle. I have an odd feeling but I chuck it to not sleeping well. Ayden spent the night coughing. Fast forward to 7:30 am, the alarm goes off for us to leave the house and I get that weird feeling again. I grab Ayden’s hand tight as we cross the road. I have this feeling of protecting him. I find myself doing it all morning. I didn’t pay it any mind as I usually have days when I’m more emotional and once again chucked up my maternal helicopter parenting on that itself. We fed the Canadian geese and Sea Gulls, the sun was out and it was a beautiful morning. We finished to then head to the Welsh Pantry for our shared ham and cheese toasty.Once again my grip on Ayden as we crossed the intersection quickly. Its time, We enter the gate so that the kids can head to their classrooms, all the children roll around in their scooters and walking in with their parents. The parents tired looking but with the sense of relief to give up their responsibility for just a couple hours. They love them, of that I’m sure but a moment for yourself isn’t selfish.It is much needed. As we continue to walk, in only a few feet in front of me a little boy scoots by so fast and somehow falls nearly facedown off his scooter, the poor little boy cries as his mother leaves her conversation with other mothers to aid her son. He brushes his blond hair off his red tear filled eyes being restricted to his helmet. Thank god he was wearing that helmet. Ayden says oooo that must have hurt and I feel sorry for the child. He was ok. All these kids have scooters, I’d say more than 87%. I walk Ayden in through the gate and the classroom door opens and in he goes. I love you…kiss…hug …It still hurts but easier to let go day by day.

I’ve been running around all day, I get off the bus with that feeling still bugging me but I remember I have to call the clinic to book Ayden an appointment, they tell me I don’t need an appointment as long as he gets there before 5:30. I message Alex to let him know and he says funny enough he had already called, forgetting after a certain time they do walk-ins. Got home took a shower, groceries came at 10:06 am than 11-12 when it was scheduled for, whatever.

1:06 Alex calls me to let me know that he can pick us up from the school and if I could grab him some food from Morleys. I agree and I am relieved I don’t have to run home to get ready for work at 5 pm.  Guess the routine will be changing up. 1:30 pm The alarm is going off time to leave to the bus stop. That feeling is back again. Maybe I’m just tired. Hello again to the same bus driver. The bus taking me calls off every stop and I can’t shake off that feeling but I try to focus on other things like how warm the sun is.  

Then we arrive at my stop, Hampton Court Bridge. I walk off the bus an sit right at the first bench. it was cool and the water moved rapidly but also calmly. I spot a man, perhaps Jamaican with his 2 sons. One in the stroller the other about 3 or 4. I was nervous about seeing them so close to the edge but I figured they fed the geese too and the water wasn’t deep on the edge. Another thought popped into my mind.  If the child fell in who would jump in, I cant swim! does the father know how to? I cant tell you why I think these thoughts so frequently but when I do I promise something ends up happening that day. He finishes admiring the river with his son, he starts to pull the stroller backward back up towards the ramp bumping over a bunch of tiny rocks and plant life on the trail. The older boy runs back up the trail as the father in another language I couldn’t understand calls back to him, saying, Papa, something …Idk but somehow I knew he said papa is leaving, bye son. Its what we do to get our kids to come and go with us, scare them into thinking we are leaving them behind. Seems cruel doesn’t it, not really tho, not many of us would be willing to leave our children alone or behind. Those who truly love would never do that. The man sees me and says good day to me as he continues to pull the stroller out and up the ramp passing me, the youngest is such a cutie too. Another bus stops behind me from another company, a woman calls out to me and I recognize her, she’s the grandma from one of the beautiful lil girls from another class. She says hi to me and tells me that the bus we waited for came after I left a couple days ago. Waited for an hour and 2 busses never showed up. We chatted for a bit and she left while still looking back at me several times. I’m alone again, just the traffic behind me on the road and in front, the waves of the river and I’m starting to feel cold. I don’t want to leave yet and my mind starts to wander as I stand up and stare at the river from the ramp. Why am I here on this earth? What is my purpose?  I kid you not that’s exactly what I was thinking, money, career, marriage. All the things we think about while being alone and inside our own heads. I had that feeling and I couldn’t tell why. Was I depressed, Is my monthly curse to come playing up with my emotions or sensitivity? Idk something isn’t right. 2:20 its time to start walking… I get to the area but continue to walk up avoiding the first entrance and going thru another entrance further down. I sit across the street from the school, something I never do. I like to be the first at the gate but this time I sat.My phone rings, caller Id says, Amy. Hi, are you by the school?  I’m going to be late there’s this big accident and I’m only like 5-10 late could you pick up Miya? no worries and sure, make sure you let them know some fat black woman with short black hair is coming to get her lol we both laugh and she says I will call to let them know. We agree to meet up near hers. See I’ve never picked up his cousin from school before. Something once again I’ve never done. Dare I say out of routine. As it was 2:40 I walked into the hall that leads us to the gate noticed 3 women and a baby in a stroller in the front by the gate and an older man behind them. making me 3rd in line for my baby. It’s 2:50 can someone please open the gate now? finally, she pushes the gate. We all go into line up by the doors to get our kids. I speak to other mothers about their day and their younger ones while I wait for Ayden. Then the doors open. I wish the ladies a good weekend. I tell Ayden lets go get Miya and then we will head to Morleys to get daddy his food. We approach the class and the teacher at the door immediately says are you here for Miya, I smile and say yes and Ayden yells MIYA!!! I say thank you and tell them to hold hands. We start to walk towards Morleys. Once again that weird feeling kicks in so I say “Ok kids, hold hands and let’s go and don’t let go of each other. The long line of kids and parents and children on scooters seemed endless. “Miya, did you bring your scooter?” She says “No we came with the buggy today” “  I say to her “great so let’s go then”.  As we approach the road I then tell them to get on either side of me and hold my hand until we cross. They comply but are excited about being with each other.  We are about to cross another road at this point they both are holding hands again so instead of breaking them up I reach for their connecting hands to cross the road. We walk to Morleys. They sat down as I proceeded to make the order. They played as another woman with her baby and small daughter smile while looking at them and asks me if they are both in reception. I say no Only 1, she looked on as if trying to understand something she is thinking in her mind. I know what she is thinking, not psychic but the obvious, see Ayden and his cousin look like they can be siblings, same height, and very similar characteristics. the only difference is that her hair is blond. I say to the women “They do look like siblings but in actuality They’re cousins” Her expression changed as if her question had been answered and we both smiled. She continued to admire them as they played. How could she not they both look so adorable together when they play. I watch out the glass door as I see her mother approaching with her lil brother in arms, her face in relief in gratitude.  “Thank you for picking her up for me,” she says “No worries” And as I wait for the chicken burger meal We keep talking about the kids, discussing playdate, Halloween parties, and just usual mommy stuff. Finally its done!! it’s time to go and so we walk on thru the supermarket and are talking when an older women appearsbehind me, looked like a gypsy you see in a scary film, She was pushing her little cart into the other trollies. she was wearing a scarf and \i could see a long skirt coming through her long brownish sweater, I guess I was in her way. I apologized and moved forward she smiled. I thought in my head about the movies you see about when they feel done wrong how they curse you.I know silly & SO STEREOTYPICAL but we were talking about Halloween and she spooked me as I didn’t see or hear her walk up behind me. I cut the convo short and said let’s text the plans as I have to go to work so home to get dressed etc. Since that sandwich took ages Ayden and I took to speed walking, all the while he complained of leg pains, I said to him “We are meeting up with daddy, We won’t walk.” he was adamant that he should then run. I said no! if your legs hurt just walk but try to go fast cuz I need to go home to get dressed. As we walked I grabbed a few leaves. I found this huge one I thought was awesome. We got to the car I hand Alex his food and buckle Ayden in. Let’s go! We are driving for a bit and notice a bit of traffic. its school, time of course. Kids and parents everywhere but not as bad as I had been at Morleys for enough time for the majority to disperse. We are driving down the road, it’s warm as the sun beams right into our eyes, down come the visors. Alex then say’s “ OMg there was this huge accident on the way here” I interrupt with “Yeah that must be the same accident as to why Amy was late to get Miya” Not even half a second after Miya rolled off my tongue …On the opposite side of the road a child speeds off the sidewalk into traffic, We hear what sounded like a million voices screaming a bus comes to a hard halt everything stops for a split second like a pause in a movie , in a blink of the eye everything happens simultaneously I watch Alex raise his hands to his heads , I watch as a mother screams hysterically as many ran towards her side, she drops to the floor…her screams echoed thru the cars  as others run towards the bus, people come running out their cars the bus drivers face in terror as he runs out of the bus and towards the back. Alex exclaims I didn’t just see that, god no I didn’t see that boy get hit! Is he under the bus OMG. I was in shock not being able to move or say anything I held my hand to my face, saying no no no what happened. I couldn’t see too much now as the commotion was behind the bus. I wanted to come out the car but Alex stopped me. He said “I know how emotional you are, if he is bad you cant see that. You cant go to work with that image in your head, he is being helped and it won’t help to crowd them. they will need space. “ you cant get out the car.” I wanted to so bad, something kept nagging at me. I listened to my husband disappointed at myself a bit. Traffic was at a standstill until a woman started directing it. cars came past us the car in front of us belonged to a lady and man who ran out, neighbors came running out to see the commotion. the lady took her car and parked it in reverse to the park and slowly we crept up to go by. I needed to see… I had to, I NEEDED TO KNOW IF HE WAS ALIVE. As we drove by, my husband said don’t look but I couldn’t listen again I looked, I saw him laying in the grass wrapped up in what looked like a fleece as the mother cried and others surrounded him. He was moving! Alive! As we kept going my husband was trying to keep calm as he drove. He saw more due to his angle but all I could think was, We just mentioned about the accident before 2 times before it just happened in front of us AN ACCIDENT Ayden was in the back seat so he didn’t see anything but what he did do was hear the poor woman’s screams. Screams that I kept hearing and thinking to myself it was a small child, I’m a mother! I would lose it if something happened to my child. We start to talk about how seconds before it happened a car stopped them from continuing on their journey as it turned into the estate and left them waiting to cross. We recalled seeing the mother looking into her stroller at the baby with another woman before it all happened so quickly. meanwhile, I could feel my body shaking but not visibly, it was from the inside. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that inside vibration before, was that actual shock? Forget how I feel imagine how that mother was feeling, that poor child, the bus driver. he did nothing wrong, wasn’t speeding. The child came out of nowhere onto the road. All I could hear was her screams.

We arrive home and I feel weak, I get inside the house and start to get dressed as Alex locked himself in the bathroom. I continued to feel like I was shaking. How was I going to work like this? keep calm…keep calm …relax…but the screams. Alex didn’t want to drive. but nonetheless, he drove me to work stressing about the fact that he wanted to take Ayden to the clinic to get checked due to his cough and phlegm from being sick since the second day of school. We arrive at my job, I get out Ayden has fallen asleep in the back seat, I open the door to kiss him and I kiss Alex before I go inside.  I don’t feel comfortable being here, I think to myself. I walk through the store giving fake smiles while inside I was shaking and wanted to cry but I kept my composure. My friend at work noticed something wrong. I told him what happened and he did his very best to keep me from thinking about it. I tried to even laugh and make jokes to drown out the screams when he went on break, the screams came back. I couldn’t concentrate. 

It’s 8:30 pm time for my 15 min break and I see I have a missed call. No one really calls me so I immediately assume its, my husband, as it says NO CALLER ID It happens sometimes…It was him an then he tells me what happened…. The Surrey police put out a tweet for witnesses to come forward with information. He felt he wanted and needed to help so he called. he found out that the boy was 4 years old (Damn same age as my son) We saw him go so fast due to him being on a scooter! He was Alive (thank god) but that the damage was to the legs, we didn’t know how extensive the injuries were but a relief came over me knowing he was going to be ok. almost like something left my body. I was sad to hear he was hurt but happy to know he made it. I’m glad my husband did the right thing in providing what information he could. I thought to myself … I hope there is an update soon, via news or something.

After all this, I can’t help but think the many series of events that led to this happening. The times I worried about the kids on scooters, the traffic, then mentioning of the word “accident” 3 times before it happened in front of us. the fact that the very next day on Saturday, Oct 7, 11 people are injured in a “car crash” near the London museum, which they say is not terrorism-related. Why does the word “ACCIDENT” keep popping up?

[rurounidrift]

July 29 Hiro’s Lost Light Stream - Bolt

Drift, Whirl, and Soundwave sat on the floor of the rec room in alt mode. Drift was under a giant blanket fort with Hiro. These children were vicious killers in a multi-million-year war.

After the movie, Whirl and Hiro recruited Drift into their plot to help Hiro find his way home.

The chat room has been cleared by the moderator. Whirl: *well, if it's time for a movie, Whirl's gonna head over to the usual spot and sprawl all over the Whirl Couch* Hey, twerp. H i r o: [ pokes head up and looks around ] Oh, hey Whirl! [ waves ] H i r o: [ has made a very well constructed blanket fort ] Whirl: *observes this for a moment before he hops up, trots over, and squats down next to it like a big horrid bird* You'n me need to have a talk, sometime soon. H i r o: [ blinks and looks back up and OH HES RIGHT THERE. Blinks ] Oh yeah? About, uh... things? [ quotes with fingers ] Whirl: *snorts* Yep. 'Things.' *he, too makes air quotes, but with claws* I guess getting stuck here's not all that bad for you. You ARE staying, yeah? H i r o: Uh, well... I don't really have anywhere else to go. Whirl: Yeah. ...yeah, I get that. H i r o: [ shrugs a shoulder ] My friends are here. Baymax is getting used to things here. Whirl: I'm not sure what's going to--y'know. Where I'll be in a few weeks, but until then, we can work on things. Might as well. H i r o: Oh, sure. [smiles a little ] I mean, if we can't finish the whole thing, it should be fine. Whirl: I won't leave you hanging, if I can help it. That's a big "if" though, kiddo. H i r o: Heh... I know. But, really. We'll be okay. H i r o: Just not sure how I'm supposed to, you know... live here. Whirl: That makes two of us, Hiro. Whirl: But... yeah. I'll comm you up. *bobs his helm and stand again; he will retreat to his couch* H i r o: ... Yeah, okay. I'm not really busy these days. Bug me any time. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave trudges in and drops. He's tired. But he heard the call and came to see the thing.* Whirl: *salutes as he plots himself down* You got it. Whirl: *and he'll spare a head-bob for Soundwave* H i r o: [ pokes head out of his fort to wave at Soundwave ] Drift: *shows up and heads for his usual se— oh.* Drift: *... yeah, no, he's not— he's not gonna sit there.* H i r o: [ sit with me in this big af blanket fort ] Drift: *is the blanket fort big enough for a cybertronian?* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave hasn't seen the little fleshling in a long time. He leans forward, trying to pin them, then offers a nod when he realizes it's Hiro. And then one each to Whirl and Drift.* H i r o: [ it sURE IS ] Drift: *it really IS big af. hiro's his best option, walks on over.* Hey. Mind if I squeeze in with you? H i r o: Oh go ahead! H i r o: [ wiggles over like he's taking up all this space when he smol ] H i r o: [ honestly we can all squeeze in here ] Drift: *scoots on under* Where did you find this much fabric?? Whirl: *if he is invited, he might actually take you up on that offer* H i r o: Well, I sort of tore through some old junk I found. H i r o: [ not on the ship but. Shhhh. ] H i r o: [ Everyone here is invited to the blanket fort. It's called HQ ] ItsyBitsySpyers: *...He'll stay outside the blanket fort. That many points are bad news around fabric.* Whirl: *for now he's gonna stretch out on the couch* H i r o: Actually, I think some of this is tarp... /looking around the fort/ Anyway, no one was using it and Baymax said it seemed useful for us. Whirl: Where's he got to, anyway? Drift: *looks at the fabric. oh yeah, some of it IS tarp.* Drift: ... I think I used some of this for my Pyramidhead costume. H i r o: Baymax? He's charging in the room. Drift: *pokes at a bit of white tarp* H i r o: Oh, really? I can give it back. [ scratches hair ] H i r o: Baymax just said I should 'socialize for my mental health' or something. He thinks I'm working too much. Whirl: Well, next time you want another night on the town, let me know. H i r o: Heh, you got me in trouble last time. H i r o: (( people ready?? ))) Whirl: ((yep!)) Whirl: I always get everyone in trouble. All the time. H i r o: Yeah, but what if I get arrested or something? [ snort ] H i r o: I bet I could jailbreak. Drift: ((ye)) Whirl: Oh, I could get you out, no problem. Starscream's prisons arent ME-proof. Drift: Just don't get arrested in Metroplex. The longer we keep Starscream from finding out we've smuggled a human onto Cybertron, the better. H i r o: Starscream sounds like a tool. ItsyBitsySpyers: ((yep)) Drift: Nuh-uh. H i r o: ... No one's seen me yet. Drift: Tools are useful. H i r o: Not that I'm going ou. H i r o: *out. Whirl: Ugh, he's the worst. He--PFFT. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Has seen Hiro.* H i r o: [ soundwave u see everything ] ItsyBitsySpyers: *...Isn't interested in spilling those beans.* H i r o: ...He sounds like an outdated tool. H i r o: Only useful for damaging the actual tool. Whirl: Well, if anyone gives you trouble, just sent them to me. Whirl: I need to vent, anyway. Drift: And if Whirl's ever unavailable, the rest of us would have your back too. H i r o: I just go scavenge. H i r o: Aw thanks guys. But, really... I'm not getting in trouble Whirl: Not yet, anyway. *props his helm up on one claw and regards the screen with a half-lidded optic; he seems tired* So, what's this? H i r o: I mean, I /might/ gamble now and then [mumbling ] H i r o: I don't know. Baymax looked it up and said it might "help". H i r o: It's called Bolt. Never seen it, though. Whirl: Hmm. Drift: ((... for some reason, even tho you said MULTIPLE times we're watching bolt, somehow i never registered it, and until about 20 seconds ago i was convinced we were gonna watch cars 2)) Whirl: ((PFFT)) Drift: ((im so glad we're not watching cars 2)) H i r o: [[ oh my god, puff. ]] Whirl: *tilts his head; okay, this seems a little bit interesting* H i r o: [[ also i just realized this is technically like a super hero thing and hiro is here for this ]] Drift: *winces. ohhh, it's a superhero movie.* H i r o: [[ i mean not REALLY ]] Drift: *rodimus is going to be torqued if he finds out drift watched a...* Drift: *... rodimus isn't going to find out.* H i r o: [ rolls onto his stomach to watch the screen. Wrinkles nose ] I never had a dog. H i r o: Tried to give Mochi rocket feet, though. Drift: Me neither. Whirl: I've only had Killer. Who really doesn't need augments, it's tough enough as is. H i r o: I put these hover boots on Mochi once. Whirl: That's your... rat, right? H i r o: ... He bit me. H i r o: No, Mochi is my cat. H i r o: ... was. More my Aunt's cat, I guess. Whirl: Oh, right. Cat. H i r o: Big, fat cat. Whirl: Nice gunships. Drift: ... Okay, so when she arrived to get the dog, she already had a collar with his name, right? H i r o: [[ omg yes the cat cycles ]] H i r o: [[ my favorites!! ]] Drift: What if the last Bolt died in the line of duty and she was picking up a replacement. H i r o: That's kinda messed up, but.. might be possible. H i r o: (( let me know if the stream drops pls )) H i r o: (( it keeps saying it is )) Whirl: ((so far it's been fine)) Drift: I mean, it seems kind of weird to go get a pet and know what you're gonna name him before you ever met him. ItsyBitsySpyers: ((all i can think abut is how slow everything is probably actually moving on account of it's. a dog.)) Drift: ((it's a SUPERpowered dog. superspeed.)) Drift: ((we see zoom lines around him when he runs.)) Drift: ((or did at one point, anyway)) Whirl: Not bad. Whirl: Dogs seem pretty cool. Drift: ... I'm disappointed he didn't actually speak. H i r o: ... I mean, yeah. That would be cool. Whirl: Oh. Huh. ...that's disappointing. Drift: ... Oh. H i r o: ... Wait, so he's NOT a super hero? Whirl: I guess maybe not? Whirl: ... *very slowly sits up. Glances about the room* H i r o: That's kinda messed up, dude. H i r o: Let the dog have super powers. Drift: Why would the dog know what a boom mike is? H i r o: I mean he's never seen one, so how would he know? Whirl: Good question. *sits up, and very abruptly shifts into alt-mode. Minor windstorm in the room while he hovers* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Do you mind.]] Drift: Hey, don't blow down the tarp hut. Whirl: *strafes sideways, carefully avoiding the couches, and sets down outside the pillow fort* Whirl: I won't. Whirl: *and CLUNK. He just drops there. No landing gear. There's just a chopper sitting on the floor* H i r o: ... hey. Welcome to the fort corner. Whirl: Drive-in. ...indoors. Drift: ... Huh. H i r o: Heh. Sounds like a plan. Drift: ... *transforms* H i r o: [ oh my god ] ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Is it a drive-in if you don't drive?]] Whirl: I bet I could drive. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Hmm. All right.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *He -used- to drive, so... transform and join the group. Why not.* Whirl: *welcome to the parking lot* Whirl: *Whirl tilts his rotor arrays so they're pointed back a bit. A quick whirr and he scoots a little. Then a little more. Scoot, scoot, scoot* Whirl: See? Driving. Drift: Ooooh, that dog's gonna have anxiety. Whirl: Yeah. Poor thing. *scoots backwards into his spot* H i r o: ... Yikes. H i r o: Looks like a boom mic isn't the problem now. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Vaguely interested in these birds for reasons he doesn't know.* Whirl: So... Skywarp, Thundercracker, and Starscream, right? ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Ha.]] H i r o: [ laughs ] He's like a bird? Drift: He flies. Whirl: Heh. She's running a racket. Whirl: I like her. Drift: ... I like him. H i r o: Starscream... sounds really annoying. Drift: He's not just annoying. Whirl: He's the worst, Hiro. Drift: He's basically the worst person in the galaxy. Whirl: And the idiots living on Cybertron elected him king. Whirl: ..pfft, look at her go! She's devious. H i r o: Well, I haven't met him. but I've seen his ugly pictures all over the place. I mean, sort of. H i r o: I hear people talk, that's all. Whirl: Hopefully you'll get a ride off-planet or something before you have to deal with him too much. H i r o: Do I have to meet him or something? Drift: Primus, no. Drift: Not if we can help it. Whirl: ((i always loved the music in this and T'S NO SURPRISE... COS IT'S JOHN POWELL)) Whirl: Yeah, ugh. H i r o: [[ YEEE ]] Whirl: @H: I can't do this that often with you-know-who here but, don't worry. I won't let it come to that. Whirl: Ha! Look at her! *he looks as gleeful as a helicopter can* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Disappointing. He wanted to see her freed.]] Drift: Same. Whirl: Yeah, me too. She earned it. Crafty little thing. Whirl: *snickers* H i r o: @W: Oh, thanks, Whirl. I'm not sure how I would handle meeting that guy. Drift: ... Do you think the hamster knows it's a show, or is he assuming they're in character and playing... Drift: No, no, he thinks it's real. H i r o: ... This poor dog. Whirl: This is hilarious. Drift: ... I appreciate the dog's utter devotion to his master, but wow do I feel bad for the cat. Whirl: Yeah. Kinda swept along by circumstances she can't exactly fight. Sucks. Whirl: I'm rooting for her. H i r o: I like both of 'em, really. Drift: ... That's not a good-looking badge on that door. Whirl: Ha! Whirl: I gotta give it to the little furball, too. H i r o: ... Nah, she didn't replace an old dog. There's no way. H i r o: So quit the job, dude. You're like a tv star right now. You could get way more jobs. Drift: Yeah, but she said OTHER people would lose jobs. Drift: They don't deserve that. H i r o: [ tears open a bag of stale gummies. Hes had them for so long ] H i r o: Yeah but I mean. You gotta be a pretty crappy producer not to have a back up plan. Drift: The backup plan is getting a replacement dog. H i r o: That's messed up for her, though Drift: Yeah, it IS. But other people have jobs that they need to SURVIVE. H i r o: I don't see why she can't look for the dog AND film the show. It's a tv series. H i r o: Doesn't take that long to make an episode. [ chews on a gummy ] Drift: ... Yeah, true. Drift: She can do both. But in the meantime she's gotta continue with the show. H i r o: [ makes a face ] These are two years old and stale... [swallows it anyway ] Drift: Want us to get some fresh ones? Whirl: Yeah. We can get to Earth, no problem. H i r o: Well, maybe when I finish these . Whirl: (9AGAIN)) Whirl: Pfft. Whirl: Well, het, we've got holoforms. We could go with you. Whirl: *hey Drift: Yeah, I was assuming we would. Done it before. Drift: I've still got the bikini I got last time! Whirl: I don't think I've seen yours, Drift. Whirl: Well. He performed the deepest act of friendship anyone can. Whirl: Busting your pal out of jail. He's all right. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He doesn't think he's seen either of yours.]] H i r o: ... Oh yeah, I had to take you shopping. Whirl: *with a little flicker, Whirl's holoform appearrs, sitting on his cockpit's windshield. She waves* H i r o: [ wave ] Drift: Oh—yeah. I guess I don't have a lot of reason to use it around the ship. Whirl: Pretty sweet, right? *whirl and his holo are speaking in unison* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Fascinating. Why this?]] Whirl: Brainstorm made one that generated our own based on our personalities, or something. This is what I got. Drift: *turns on his, too, avatar sitting on his hood. rolls forward a bit out of the pillow fort so he can see the others and waves back.* Drift: Mine's custom. *he looks like Pepper Potts.* Whirl: It also came with some sweet uzis. Oh, hey Drift! Looking good. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[...Yours is familiar. He can't place why.]] Whirl: *flicker, flicker--and his holo is gone* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[They're auto-generating, then?]] Drift: Got it from a movie. H i r o: ... That's so cool. Whirl: Some of em are. Drift: Yeah. I've got an auto-generated one, too. Don't use it, though. ItsyBitsySpyers: *...Wonders if his does that. Not about to test that out here though. Maybe at home after this is done.* H i r o: My clothes are getting smaller. H i r o: I guess I do need a trip soon. Whirl: ((banans...)) Drift: Oh! I've got a bikini from earth for it, too. Hold on. *he hops off his hood, pops open his bumper, and starts rummaging around in it* Whirl: *that was the cutsiest feel-good song Whurl has heard all year. Absolutely catchy and saccharine and impossibly cheery. And it utterly depressed him* H i r o: [ join the club lmao ] Whirl: *at least he can hide it in alt-mode* Drift: ... She's declawed? After all that with the birds. Whirl: Good little scam artist. H i r o: Well, yeah. You're not supposed to declaw cats. Drift: ... Oh! Hey! *pulls out one of his human sword collection from his bumper.* I'm the right size to use these! Whirl: I'm not sure what it is besides... the obvious. But I'm against it on principle. H i r o: [ smiles at Drift] Having fun? Drift: *just what everyone needs to see today: Pepper Potts swinging around a sh!tty knockoff samurai sword* Whirl: ((everyone needs that all the time)) Whirl: Pfft. You know, I like all three of these guys. Whirl: ((giorgio tsoukalos pose)) Drift: Okay. Okay. Bikini. *stows the sword and starts rummaging again* Drift: Found it! H i r o: ... I can't believe you kept it Whirl: I've never changed my holoform's clothes. Her clothes are ALREADY perfect. Drift: Course I did. We might go back to Earth. H i r o: [[ i love this guy ]] Whirl: (9ME2)) H i r o: [[ THATS ME ]] Drift: ((nice)) H i r o: [[ I love the sinister cat bikers ]] Drift: ((same, they're the best)) Drift: Hiro, nudity warning. *turns off the avatar's clothes and starts trying to figure out how to put the bikini on)) Drift: ((..... that should be a *)) H i r o: [shields his eyes so he can only see the screen ] H i r o: ... Aw. That's happened to me once. H i r o: Really sucks... H i r o: [frowns] Poor Bolt. Drift: *he's trying to wrap the bra around his legs when he sees the movie and gets distracted.* ... Awww. Whirl: Do you need help? H i r o: I can't help you, Drift. I told you last time. [ staring at the screen ] Drift: Nope! Nope, I've got this. Already done this once. *determinedly starts tying it in place.* Whirl: I'm pretty sure you're doing it wrong. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[What ARE you doing with that.]] Drift: Nuh-uh, I totally know what I... Whirl: Here, just--*zzip. His holoform appears by Drift* There's no way that goes there. Drift: *stops. holds the bra up.* ... Oh. Wait. Whirl: *she walks around Drift critically* Where's the other part of the bikini? H i r o: [ this movie is gettin emotional and stuff ] Drift: *starts tying it around his chest instead.* I've got this now. Whirl: Here, lemme tie it in the back for ya., Drift: Yeah, thanks. H i r o: [ and very stressful. ] H i r o: [ oh god he hopes no one dies in the fire holy crap ] H i r o: [ severely focused face ] Whirl: *she gets right to it, with those wonderful fingers she possesses* Drift: *he'll start tying the bottom in place.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Watches Hiro. If he's remembering the documentary right...* Drift: *... and stops again as he's distracted by the movie.* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Human. Are you operating within standard parameters?]] H i r o: [ tugs a piece of tarp over his head ] H i r o: [ this movie is stressing him out ] H i r o: [[ LMFAO I FORGOT ABOUT THE FIRE TBFH . GO ME. ]] Whirl: Drift's decent, Hiro! Check him out! Drift: *... oh, scrap, right. hiro's brother.* H i r o: [ looks at Soundwave ] What? [ moves his hands and peeks from under tarp ] Oh, uh... still looks cool, Drift. Drift: *hastily ties the other strap in place and hurries over to Hiro.* Hey, are you...? H i r o: [ oh thank god someone found them. Wheeze. ] Drift: *... he's gonna sit next to hiro and wrap an arm around him, tarp and all.* H i r o: [ oh my god there's a pepper potts hugging him ] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Good. That will do.* H i r o: [ waves at Soundwave from this hug. ] I think I am. Whirl: *While Drift is hugging him tenderly, Whirl's holo strolls over and rests her elbow on his head* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Nods. Acknowledged.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *He'll leave the comforting to the Autobots. Human contact is more their speed.* Whirl: Man. You're almost taller than me now, Hiro. H i r o: [ blinks at all this contact ] Uhm... [pats Drift's arm] Thanks, Drift. [ smiles a little ] Wait, what? Really? Whirl: Yeah. *steps back and crosses her arms* Huh. When did you get so tall? H i r o: ... I dunno. Aunt Cass always said I'd probably be tall like Tadashi was. Whirl: Oh, yeah, you're still growing. I keep forgetting you're not done. H i r o: [ for a second that movie had him stressing though so this hug is nice. ] Drift: Oh, right. Humans do that. H i r o: Yeah, that's why I keep seeing Hoist for my leg. H i r o: The more I grow, the more it needs to be adjusted. H i r o: (( omg let me get this cool video of fantasmic stuff. )) Whirl: Oh, yeah, the janitor. Whirl: Well, I did it, too. Once upon a time. Whirl: But I grew a lot faster. *zzap. His holoform disappears* H i r o: Hoist is cool. He helps me out. I'm not fully grown yet, I guess. H i r o: If I keep replacing my limbs with Cybertronian tech, I could probably fully grow whenever I choose. Whirl: I mean... I guess. If you want to...? Whirl: Maybe you should keep your body parts, though. Seems like you might need 'em. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Will quietly excuse himself to go pass out at home.* Whirl: Catch ya later, Soundwave. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Nods.* H i r o: [ waves at soundwave! ] H i r o: Bye, Soundwave! H i r o: I ... probably should. Baymax is worrying I'm choosing to change too much. Whirl: And isn't medicine his JOB? H i r o: Yeah. Whirl: I'd listen to him, then. H i r o: (( okay r u guys ready for my nerdy disney crap? )) Whirl: ((SHO0) H i r o: Oh, yeah... I mean, I listen to him. Believe me, he's hard NOT to listen to. H i r o: [ sighs. At least the movie had a happy ending. It makes him feel better. ] H i r o: [ that and the drift hug and Whirl elbow on his head for that moment ] H i r o: [ even Soundwave. Gosh what great friends he has ] Whirl: *he's got your back, small and curiously endearing co-conspirator. ...he just can't be obvious about it* Whirl: *actually...* Whirl: @Hiro: Hey, Hiro? H i r o: @W: Yep? Whirl: @H: I think--okay. So, our project. If there's anyone who could help us with it, it's... gonna be this guy. The chucklehead in the bikini. H i r o: [ looks back at Drift slightly ] You know, your holo-thing looks really cool.  And I'm glad you remembered how to dress. The first time was awkward, heh. Whirl: @H: Do you wanna... maybe get him in on it? In case something happens, and I can't help any more? Drift: Yeah! So am I. *the chucklehead in the bikini is wearing the bra upside-down, but other than that he's got it mastered.* H i r o: @W: ... Yeah, sure. I trust Drift as much as I trust you and Riptide. I don't think you guys would kill me. H i r o: (( okay so here our new show with pirates and dragons ;A; )) Whirl: ((o/.)) H i r o: W: How do we... ask him, though? Whirl: @H: I got this. Whirl: Hey, Drift. Drift: Yeah? H i r o: @W: uh huh... Drift: ((imagine dancing in a giant mickey head)) Whirl: So, for the past few months or so Hiro and I have been working on an unsanctioned space-bridge project in the hopes that we can find a way to get him home. H i r o: [[ I WOULD DO IT ]] Whirl: So, wanna help? Drift: ... Uhh. Whirl: *smoooth as hell, whirl* H i r o: [ Wow Whirl ] Whirl: ((for some reason when i saw mickey i just thought "I GET TO DECIDE WHO LIVES AND WHO DIES")) Drift: *on the one hand, the word "unsanctioned" worries him. On the other hand—he suddenly remembers—he's got the authority to sanction it now, doesn't he?* Whirl: ((gah brb, rock needs to go out)) Drift: Hell yeah. I'm in. What do you need? H i r o: (( ahhh okay want me pause? )) Whirl: ((nah it should only be a sec!)) H i r o: ... Uh, well. We have a sort of base built. H i r o: Chances aren't very likely that I'll go home anyway, but. It's worth a shot? Drift: A—a base? Like a—like a whole, base? H i r o: Well, Whirl can probably explain it better. H i r o: But, we've got a lot of research done for it. H i r o: I've been scrambling around to get proper supplies for Whirl and I to work on it. But, well... we've been keeping it hidden from everyone. Whirl: Yeah, most of the stuff we have is theoretical--we';ve barely gotten into building anything yet. Whirl: But mainly I figured, we should tell someone else in case something happens, and I can't help him anymore. H i r o: (( good to know no one ever forgets Dumbo's terrifying drunk dream ) Drift: Oh. So like a—knowledge base. Whirl: Yeah. We've got some solid simulations, some mock-ups, you know. The goal is to try and make what's basically a portable space-bridge operator. Drift: *thought they'd built a whole base to work in somewhere.* H i r o: ... So. [scratches hair ] Does that mean that I might end up lost in limbo or something? Whirl: Power's turning out to be the big problem. Drift: Anything I can get you that would help? Drift: No, we're not letting you get lost in limbo. That's what tracking devices are for. H i r o: I made a few prototypes and showed them to Whirl recently. That's where I was last. H i r o: ... What tracking device? Whirl: Pfft, of course we won't leave you IN LIMBO. Whirl: We can make you one. Drift: We talked MONTHS about putting a tracking device in you, remember? H i r o: ... oh yeah. H i r o: I forgot. Drift: ... I don't know if that ever got done, I wasn't in charge of it. Whirl: I've... got some things to settle. But honestly, I think we just might need supplies, Drift. And, if you've got any scientific connections... *that one's a long shot* Drift: *it BETTER have got done.* Whirl: ((DUDE this must have been AMAZING in person!)) Drift: ((seriously!)) H i r o: (( IT WAS SO AMAZING I CRIED TWICE BECAUSE IM STUPID )) Whirl: ((SPEDDY <3)) Drift: ((YOU'RE NOT STUPID, AND IT ISN'T STUPID TO CRY ABOUT SOMETHING AWESOME)) H i r o: (( pirates made me cry )) Drift: ((love yourself speedy. give yourself permission to feel moved by awesome things.)) H i r o: But, everyone's starting to talk about leaving and doing things. What am /I/ supposed to do? Whirl: ((SECONDED)) H i r o: I don't even have a job. Drift: Anything you want. The crew's going to keep a skeleton crew, at a minimum. You can stay here. Drift: We're going to keep trying to repair the ship. You could help with that. Whirl: Ideally, we'd like to get you home before that becomes aa big issue, of course. H i r o: ... Yeah. Getting home would be nic. H i r o: *nice. Drift: If we can find a way for you to get home, that'd be best, yeah. But if it takes longer than expected, there's always a place for you on the Lost Light. Whirl: And I'm sure the janitor will not let you out of his sight H i r o: Hoist? He's almost as bad as Baymax. H i r o: [ frowns a little bit. Just a little ] You'll visit me, right? If I leave? H i r o: My Aunt... she won't believe any of this. Whirl: Wh--me? *100% taken aback* Drift: If you let us, heh. Whirl: *surely he must have been talking to Drift* H i r o: [ drift is a 'u guy' not a ' u guys ' ] H i r o: (( * cries at my princesses * )) Whirl: *he did not say "you guys"* Whirl: *uncertainly* I mean, if it's... possible? H i r o: [ He gonna ] H i r o: My Aunt would love you guys. H i r o: I mean, she'd freak out for twenty minutes. Drift: ((oh my god the people in the background)) H i r o: (( RIGHT?? )) Drift: (("IT'S RAPUNZEL!" "you're my rapunzel, hun." "awww.")) H i r o: (( me in the future )) H i r o: (( me to myself )) Drift: ((be ur own rapunzel)) Whirl: She'd probably... have a lot of questions. *still Awkward City over here, you completely threw him off, Hiro* I'm pretty sure there isn't anything like us there. H i r o: Well, no, not really. I mean, Baymax is pretty unique and hes not like you guys really... H i r o: But, I'm gonna have to tell her about my leg. Drift: Yeah, we never invaded Earth in your universe, right? Whirl: You're going to have to tell a lot of people about your leg. H i r o: Nope. Only Callaghan started crap. H i r o: Well, it's not simple metal. And I'm not gonna lie about it. H i r o: Besides, people won't believe me anyway. Whirl: We can deal with all of that when we get there. Whirl: Oh, also, Drift--for the past few months Hiro and I have been working alone. This doesn't leave this room, got it? Drift: If they DON'T believe you, all we have to do is show up. Whirl: You tell no-one. H i r o: Oh, yeah. Top secret. Drift: Yeah—no, of course it doesn't leave the room. Whirl: And you will not tell anyone else, correct? Drift: I can keep a secret. *did anybody find out about Overlord before he escaped? no? didn't think so.* H i r o: I trust both you guys. Whirl: ((SICK)) H i r o: (( THE WIFE )) Drift: ((that's an impressive giant moving prop)) Drift: ((mickey's killing them)) H i r o: (( the old dragon used to be like. A puppet . Not a prop like that. )) H i r o: (( that's one huge animatronic )) Whirl: Well. *still incredibly awkward in the face of Hiro's earnestness* Yeah. Of course. H i r o: ... The only downside to going home is I'd miss you guys. H i r o: But, Baymax and I sort of worked a thing out! Drift: You'll be able to comm us. And we can bridge over any time. H i r o: Yeah. Maybe we can like. Visit here too. Whirl: Yep. Especially if we successfully finish that project. H i r o: I just hope my home isn't.. well. Too far ahead. Drift: ((imagine being one of the dancers on the right side of the ship. ain't nobody gonna see you.)) Whirl: Ugh, Cybertron isn't worth visiting. Whirl: but maybe we can arrange somewhere to meet up. H i r o: (( LOL right? )) Drift: ((they probably have to keep dancing even when nobody can see them JUST IN CASE somebody spies them from a weird angle. can't ruin the disney magic.)) H i r o: (( I used to want to be in this show so badly. ;A; but I am not talented )) Drift: ((one, you ARE talented)) Drift: ((two, half of them are waving a scarf while smiling. u can rock that.)) Whirl: ((YE)) H i r o: (( LOL well I guess )) Drift: ((imagine tho. "Cindy, you're getting a promotion." "Am I finally—?" "Left side of the boat." "YES")) H i r o: (( HAHAHAHA )) H i r o: (( anyway, that the new show *lifts leggie* )) Whirl: ((NICE)) H i r o: (( god have u guys seen the new bh6 tv show clips? *cries* Hiro is so stupid )) H i r o: Okay but... I have one request. [lifts hand] Drift: Yeah? Drift: ((yes!! it looks great)) Whirl: Shoot. H i r o: If this doesn't work- I mean, at all. If it doesn't get me home. H i r o: I don't want to try anymore. Drift: ... *small nod.* It's up to you. Whirl: Well, first of all, I don't intend to quit until it works. Whirl: So, not a problem. H i r o: Well, I know you won't, I'm just saying... Whirl: Well, if you decide to stay, I mean... good luck, I guess. H i r o: Every attempt has sent me somewhere else. Whirl: I couldn't tell you the first thing about making it around here. H i r o: I'm not even supposed to BE here. H i r o: I guess I'd just. Fly with Baymax in space. Drift: I'm sure we can make it work. Drift: No! No, absolutely not. I'm not allowing it. Drift: You're sticking with us. We LIKE you, Hiro. We don't want you to leave unless it's because you've found a place you'd rather be. Drift: NOT because you think you don't deserve to be with US. Which is false. Whirl: Hey, I'm not supposed to be here, either. H i r o: Dude. What happens if Starscream finds out I exist? I mean, I'll drop him flat no problem if I have to. Whirl: Half of us aren't. It's not a big deal. H i r o: I'm pretty sure he doesn't have far to fall. Whirl: He's goinjg to find out sooner or later--pfft. Drift: Starscream gets mad at us for, like, the fiftieth time. Big deal. Starscream doesn't rule this ship. H i r o: [ has never met starscream, but doesn't like the sound of him ] Whirl: Hiro I fully support any and all plans to stealthily assassinate Starscream. H i r o: ... I was just gonna have Baymax rocket punch his face in and then take him down myself. You know, a good kick to his ego. Whirl: ...or to loudly and obviously do it. Drift: Go for the optic. Shatter his optic and you can get straight through to his brain module. H i r o: (( Drift why would u say that that is terrible ) Whirl: Well, if you do that, he'll kill you both. I don't like Starscream, but you don't survive millions of years of war without being hard to kill. Whirl: I'd go for the nanobots, personally. H i r o: (( HES OFFENDED )) H i r o: (( THAT IS TERRIBLE CONSIDERING WHO YOUR BEST FRIEND IS )) H i r o: ... He has a brain? Whirl: They're small enough, and if you can control them, get them in there. In his vents, through his intake--and pull him apart from the inside-out. Drift: ((A STARSCREAM DESERVES TO GET SHOT THROUGH THE BRAIN)) Drift: ((AS COMPENSATION FOR BLURR)) H i r o: (( OKAY TRUE )) H i r o: ... My microbots can do a lot, really. Drift: They really can. H i r o: It's a lot easier these days. [ 8) ] Whirl: MICRObots, pardon. Drift: I bet it is. After all your training. *ayy? Ayyyyy? did drift do good* H i r o: Okay but... it's the three of us on this project now, right? Whirl: Anyway, one problem at a time, right? We can assassinate Starscream later. H i r o: ... [smiles at Drift ] Of course ! That helped me way more than anything else. Drift: *HEAVY SIGH* Yeah, I guess Starscream's gotta wait. Drift: *BEAMS* Whirl: *watches this. He chose a good person to be his backup on this problem. Excellent* Whirl: *project H i r o: You know... when I first got here, I thought you guys were the coolest things I'd ever met. Whirl: I'll touch base with you soon, Hiro. Like I said, gotta wrap up some things and all. *by which he means an unrelated wholly unsanctioned op* H i r o: Uh huh.. [nods ] Whirl: Heh. Whirl: *he shiftes into root mode at last and stands, streeetching* Whirl: I'm heading out for now, though. You know where to find me. Drift: *oh, yeah, he can do that too, can't he?* H i r o: Sure thing. I'll fill Drift in if he has questions about our project. Drift: *turns off his avatar, and transforms/somersaults out from the fort.* H i r o: [ laughs a little ] Whirl: *nods* Excellent. Feel free to ring me up if you need something else. Drift: The science is gonna be WAY over my head, just give me the basics. H i r o: Sure, that's easy. Whirl: Honestly, it's mostly over my head, too. I just know the mechanical aspects. H i r o: I know the science. H i r o: There we go. Perfect trio. H i r o: [ he knows like some science ] H i r o: [ he is not an expert in Cybertronian science ] Whirl: *more than us, I'm sure* Drift: *gets to his feat* I've gotta talk to a couple bots about moving their stuff, you can come by my office later and tell me what you've got? Whirl: All right, I'm out for now, you two. *salutes* H i r o: Uh, sure thing. I've got this uh... project to work on, though. H i r o: So, I might take a while. Whirl: Yeah... same. Whirl: *that's also part of the reason why Whirl's concerned about getting a backup, cos if this plan goes wrong, he'll be gone* Drift: ... Just don't do anything that's gonna blow up the ship. Whirl: *but now he's taken care of it* H i r o: ... Oh no, don't worry ,it's just surgery. Whirl: Nah, naah. H i r o: [ waves hand ] Anyway. I'll catch you guys later. Whirl: G'night, Hiro. Whirl: *bobs his head at Drift, as well* H i r o: [ yanks on a tarp and starts to take down his fort. He will drag all of this down the halls. ] Drift: You too. H i r o: [ it is his nest now ] Whirl: *and he will trot off* Drift: *... looks at whirl. feels like he should say SOMETHING to him, but...* Drift: *... not the time. leaves to get back to work.* H i r o: ( and thank u for coming to spend time with my dumb nerd ) Drift: ((thank U for the movie and show)) Whirl: ((THANK))

[angel-nero]

11 questions...

I was tagged by @pureren @zaevran @glaspaladin @z-ayauitl and @kcgane ty so much !!! ♥

RULES: 1. Always post the rules 2. Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you 3. Write 11 questions of your own 4. Tag 11 people

my questions…

1. what’s the worst piece of clothing you own?

2. what’s the coolest piece of uh fashion that is so cool you can’t even wear to go out? lol

3.- what book have you read that you feel it has been the worst?

4.- What’s the healthiest meal you actually like?

5.- do you love keith kogane? (or vld keith lmfao what u prefer to use)

6.- something paranormal ever happened to you? if yea, what?

7.- do you get jealous easily? with who? (friends, popular ppl, talented ppl, the s/m)

8.- what’s the cutest thing you own?

9.- what are your favorite crisps?

10.- do you have a favourite drink?

11.- can you tell im hungry? what hobby you wish you liked or wish you did?

i tag: @kukinta​ @kittyr0se​ @heirith​ @liesfromsatansbuttcheeks​ @sheith-love-always​ @acequeenm​ @blessedkeith​ @lukaspatel​ @ke1th​ @ace-pidge​ @keith8​ but only if you want to!

TESSA’SS AND!! TAMI’S QUESTIONS1!!!

1.  Do you connect with people easily?

mmm, I don’t becos im a very quiet person and can be w u w/o talking at all and I get overwhelmed by convos I don’t care about also it’s kinda hard to win my trust and also interest lol. I’m nice tho, i mite not be enjoying myself but i’ll forev b nice w u.  

2. Did something good happen to you this week?

uH yeah, i’m doing things to improve my health, i did my uni exam, im frEE, i finally don’t have to go to rEliGIoUs classes aNYMORE and UH,,, i got a diet to win weight and its cool i get to eat ESQUITE LMFAO. i will see my bffs in friday and i have browney mix there i should bake but im lazy

3. What’s the personality trait that annoys you most in other people?

When people pretend to like something just 2 b friends w someone or ME, do you know we can be total dif and maybe still b friends if u cOOL. Ass kissers, hypocrisy, LIES LOL. I don’t like fake ppl at all.

4. If you could participate in any existing tv reality show, which one would you choose?

The ones where they change ur style and buy clothes for u 2 love urself and do ur hair and make up and buy u xpensive undies. I loved that crap when i was in secondary school lmao

5. What’s something you’re insecure about?

That I can’t be in one place without wanting tofuckin run, the fact that i can’t eat w ppl at all, that i have to go to the fucken gYM

6. What’s your favourite way to hang out with friends?

:’)) well,,, i go to my bff’s house or they come. If im fine then walk around my neighborhood cus it’s nice ahaha anxiety am i rite. oKAY, even if i get anxiety i like ice skating, or roller skating, i have a lot of fun. My friend want us to go to this pixies concert and im like :(( boo i love u

7. What’s your favourite fic trope?

lol idk,,,,, pining? mutual pining? no pining and they getting to know therngs im melttin sTOP idk…… it depends on whAT shIP. I just know i’ll read any fake dating of my otp. idk idk duuuude i legit don kno. It’s not a trope but i love crunchy feelings, showefjsid fksjnj its hard to talk about this im sOrry

8. What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve liked in the past?

hahahahahaha my crush

9. What do you consider to be the best period of your life?

When I was 14. I went to parties more than i go to them now lol, i drank and smokkd w who where my best friends back theN i know it’s whack. we used to go to roller skate? all the damn time and did sleepovers and everything was funny, we practically lived together and my friend that was 16 drove us to places lmao,, everything was so good. but like, dont imagine me too wild i only smokd like 5 cigs in my life and hookah and we even broke one.

10. What do you consider to be the worst period of your life?

mpghgg, when i turned 15,,, in the middle of it everythin went to shit to the actual date. But im trying to change that

11. How did you meet your best friend?

I met her,,,, 11 years ago. Look, I usually have best friends in pack. I have 3 bffs at the moment, one of them sat next to me in 2nd year of primary school. IDK how i got to actually know my absolute bff tho but we did a lot of weird shit. we also met in the same classroom and she was my bff back then. The third one was also a frind but not so much during those years. Later i changed of classrooms and shit and bonded more when I was 14 w 6 friends and those r i did crazy shit w but we got separated and stopped talkin and they invited me to the club a week before my uni exam but i was high on meds and sick af. and never replied also going to meet em again at the club makes me nervous af tbH…. I have had a lot of super close friends in my life wTf. In my new school i have also 7 friends that r super close.And we’re also a pack of bffs. I actually had a hard time to use the word bestfriend lol, not bc of me havin a lot or anythin, i was just emo i guess

BEX’S QUESTIONS YOo

1. What’s the strangest nickname you’ve ever been given?

:))))))))))))))))))))))))) gabhole, gabaloney, TETI THAT SOUNDS LIKE TITTY. now ft Aztec secret 

2. Do you like to gossip?

UMMMMMM,, i dont like to listen to another ppl judging someone, I hate it and i normally tell them to stop. it depends i guess

3. Are you afraid of the dark? um,,, no but i dont like it lol

4.Have you ever been stung by a bee?

no, but i steppeddd on one. I also was pickin a tree and till this day i dont knoW wTF it was but i had something big in my middle finger and it fucken hurt like a bitch and i had A BALL on it UGHHHHH I HATE BUGS

Bigfoot or mothman? fucking none

Do you trust anyone with your life? i mean, idk

Do you have any habits you wish you could break? yEAH, to stop tweeting my mental breakdowns is one lmao. 

Would you go ghost/alien hunting? 

both tbh, who wants to break into abandoned houses w me, i live in front of one,,, i mean not so infront but in the row of houses infront of me lmao english whO? dude rosetta stoned by tool is my aesthetic, alien stuff. bex listen to it pls

Best pickup line? (you’ve heard or used on you/you’ve used)

u r the best chair *proceeds to sit on em* keith to shiro probably

Mint or fruit gum?

I dont like gum much cos it makes me hungry or thirsty. I also drink too much soda to fuck w mint stuff :(( say that to the mints i bought lol :( i only eat halls or gum bc im nerves w ppl so they stopped bein a thing i enjoy for me lol. i do that since im like,,, uh,,, idK 15. it fuckd my stomach

What do you want to be remembered for?

I mean if I have to pick and b unrealistic, for art maybe,,, or for the thing i end up working with, like architecture or somethin. Art, def art cus i like art so much

ZURI’S QUESTIONS!!!

1.-if you had to chose one thing to eat for the rest of your life what would it be? 

I MEAN THIS QUESTION IS THE DEVIL I GET TIRED OF EVERYTHING TO THE POINT I DONT WNAN EAT ANYTHING I WILL JUST IGNORE IT SSAYS ONE AND SAY MEXICAN FOOD

2.- what are you most afraid of? Mental illnes and being ill and living 

3.- do you have a favorite place to visit?

I mean,,,, i love walking in the center? centre? of my city bc is like going to another place. Is also fucking Cuba in there. Everyone says that, my dad asked a cuban marine he met if it was true and he said it was ‘’ the fackin same’’ So its like,,, travelling in time and places. also the beach and the port.

4.- what type of weather you enjoy the most?

I need the sun, otherwise i get sad… i like cloudy w sun. I just like to go out in the afternoon tho lol so like,,, sun pls so the sky can turn pinkish

5.- do you have a rare ability like dislocating your thumb or moving your eyes really fast?

i move my tongue real real fast and also can do the cherry knot thing and uh i can like, be aberrantly stupid too. hey but dont fuk w me and bother me 4 bein stupid, i will fist fite u and i mite b stupid but i will also mite think u r stupid if i don like u so fuk off. Dam,,, i get like, bothered so easy LOL like, think u r better than me and i’ll fist fite u LMFAO WHY THO I SUK, but like, if not bothered, i think of everyone as my equal… wow this was not the question

6.- do you think it would be easier to create one universal lenguage or an accurate translator? nO… dont delete culture like that,,, an accurate translator mite come in handy u kno but like, some languages have words that don’t exist in others so like :-/

7.- is there something that soothes you no matter what? um no i wish

8.- favorite piece of clothing? boots and thights

9.- is there a song stuck in your head right now? YEAH dig down by muse i love it, every1 says it sUCLks but i can’t stop listenin to it

10.- why is your favorite animal your favorite animal? i don play favs but i love the honey badger bc of this pleas fuckin watch it and THIS

11.- morning person or late riser? Oh,, i cant wake up to save my life so late riser

SUNNY’S QUESTIONS!!!

1. do you have any plushies? a LOT but im like,,, they r in my wardrobe and i luv em but like,,, they’re all gifts,,, did u kno one of my past bffs bought me a dino for christmas?

2. have you ever walked out the cinema before? 

Yeah, i love drive’s aesthetic and Ryan gosling a lot but is SO boring so idk if my friends and I got kicked out or we prefered to get out to talk haha. 

3. if you could have a mascot what would it be and why?

A CHINCHILLA, they’re a irl pokemon and they r so cUTE

4. what would your theme song be? kool thing, sonic youth maybe or is she weird by pixies. All Over the world by pixies too lol

5. do you have any phrases or sayings you find yourself coming back to often? not really, im so bad at remembering sayings and quotes

6what’s the nearest object to your right? a book called azul by ruben dario

7. would you rather live in the big city or out in the middle of nature? 

Big city forever. I love high? buildings a lot. I dont do that well in the rural life lmao 

8. are you working on any creative projects right now (fic/art/music/photography/ect) Nope at all and das sad cus i should b doing art lmao

9. what’s your favourite movie score? idk what is score… but the soundtrack of trainspotting is one of my favs… oh but score… aghgsdhaj any tarantino movie tbh or wes anderson movie… or before I disappear or demolition oR southpaw or the girl w the dragon tattoo

10. i say vol you say….? uuhhhhh,,,,,  vol….tron??? (ICONIC, I MELT, I LVOE HIM)

[resbang-bookclub]

AMA Transcript: Criss-Crossed

This week, @soundofez​ dropped by to chat about her 2016 Resbang, Criss-Crossed! Here’s some of what went down:

Q: What was your favorite scene to write?

fez: Fave scene hands down was the opening scene, it was one of the first I wrote. I had a lot of fun with Spirit's texts though. x)

Q: Did you always plan for two pairings to be developed simultaneously or did it pop up in the middle of planning?

fez: Deffo planned for the two pairings and it was HARD AS BALLS.

Q: How did you decide which characters would be temporary villians?

fez: I just wanted the villains to be recognizable characters with significant ties to either Soul or Maka? There's actually a pretty neat split: Tsubaki and B*S are the friends, Wes and Spirit are the family units, Tsubaki and Wes are Soul's, and B*S and Spirit are Maka's. Stein and Marie, of course, were there to be relevant to their plotline, and Crona is the forever villain. Arachne used to be Medusa until... um... canon parallels + plot relevance. In terms of who tf knows what's going on between her and Lord Death? Certainly not me. Medusa was going to have a creepy fixation on Stein.

Q: Did you secretly plan to make people fall in like with ML? *eyebrow waggle*

fez: Yes. Unequivocally. Ngl I want it to be an ML gateway fic. :^)))))

Q: ACTION SCENES. HOW DID YOU APPROACH THEM?

fez: ACTION SCENES WERE #STRUGGLES. I just sat down and like, forced myself through them. Like, k. Where are they? What are weird things that lucky charm can take advantage of? I freaking h8 lucky charm fjadsklfjasklfjka. A goddamn DIY PROJECTOR IS A CANON THING LADYBUG DID AND I SALT 5EVER.

Q: My question is why did you make Maka Chat and Soul Ladybug instead of vice versa?

fez: Uhhhhh 95% aesthetics, but tbh Maka's approach to fights is really a lot more like canon Cat Noir/Adrien, and Soul has more than enough self esteem issues to parallel canon Ladybug/Marinette. I h8 h8 h8 red-eyed cat, and I might be like wayyyyyy too attached to green-eyed cat Maka. You don't understand, I drew cat Maka and bug soul [in] like... October 2015. I have been on the cat Maka/bug Soul train for eternity.

Q: So, sequel??

fez: MAYBE SEQUEL BUT ONLY WHEN ML GIVES ME MORE CANON THINGS TO WORK WITH, AND NOT A MOMENT BEFORE.

Q: Why'd you decide to go for "they're superhero friends and irl enemies" instead of the love squad?

fez: Superhero friends + irl enemies was 100% a product of ml origins episodes. And to be fair, Soul didn't really hate her. Maka just... Maka.

Q: Did your plot outline always stay the same?

fez: NO, MY PLOT FREAKING BOUNCED ALL OVER THE FREAKING PLACE. I mean, the big overarching plot was the same b/c ch8 was like... the second chapter I finished writing? But. Man. Kid used to be like an actual student. He got lost. Crona was supposed to be more... present ahaha. Everyone started as freshman (w/ upperclassman b*s) but then like... idk I kept writing soul and I just... "bb u r not a freshman. 2 mature." Medusa, ofc, used to be the main antagonist in the way early drafts. TWO CHAPTERS SWAPPED PLACES ON ME LIKE TWO WEEKS BEFORE POST DAY. Franken used to be a doctor instead of a grad student struggling to publish. There used to be a Rachel/Arachne/Excalibur mashup villain in the works That one made it into my claims summary lmao.

Q: Omfg. What would have been their supervillain name?

fez: Idk but the chapter title would've been "The Itsy Bitsy Spider."

Q: Do you have deleted scenes? :)

fez: YOU KNOW I HAVE DELETED SCENES, I CRIED TO YOU OVER MY TOO MANY DELETED WORDS. I THINK I HAVE LIKE 50 DELETED SCENES. 7K. 7K DELETED WORDS.

Q: How do you have a villain mashup of Excalibur and Arachne? I NEED TO KNOW.

fez: I don't even remember how this Rachel/Arachne/Excalibur villain was supposed to go, I never got farther than just "this villain exists I guess." This was before i like.... logicked out that the villains should be tied to Maka and Soul somehow. 

fez: Also for cat Maka and bug Soul: look just loOK AT HOW PRECIOUS THEY ARE: http://soundofez.tumblr.com/post/132631437973/its-a-love-square-between-two-people-x-the. 

fez: I already knew that Blair would be Maka's kwami. I have Kwami Headcanons and this fic was the perf time to Indulge. Part of those headcanons dictate that cat Soul would never be able to have a kwami like Blair. And like... what a waste man. That's more ML territory so idk if I wanna go into em here? But yo, dm me and I will give you All The Things.

Q: What kinda music, if any, did you listen to while writing this?

fez: I'll have a more complete list in a moment but the big one was this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdQpngguJpM 

fez: maka// this is halloween, marilyn manson  soul// l'autre valse d'amélie, yann tierson stein// fairy blue, ama lo & dj lee (i think?) marie// fuck you, lily allen tsubaki// cosmic love, florence + the machine sebastian// immortals, fall out boy spirit// take a break, phillipa soo wes// fragments of memories, ffviii crona// demons, imagine dragon arachne// come little children, erutan more songs: everytime we touch, cascada thinking out loud, ed sheeran E18, detektivbyran grey, project ml

Q: The antibug and catastrophe scenes were some of my fave scenes, did you draw from the Envy chapter for that scene? Bc it seemed that way to me, esp with Maka's breakdown, but I wanted to check and also just hear you talk about your thought process for those scenes.

fez: OH YES DEFFO. My notes have "see Eibon chapters" lmao. Like... man Maka has Issues. So many issues. And I wanted to address them. Maka is not an angel, ok? She petty and she has to Learn. She does not forgive, and that's why her arc is so focused on forgiveness. Like... one of the first lines I wrote was "cat, you are just not nice" b/c I Knew I had to. OH. LEMME SEE IF I CAN DIG UP MY SHITPOST. fez: http://soundofez.tumblr.com/post/153369132853/me-needs-maka-to-come-up-with-her-alternate 

fez : DESTRUCT-O-CAT. I DIED LAUGHING, I THINK I TOLD LIKE EVERYONE I COULD. INCLUDING ML FRIENDS LMAO. Originally Soul was gonna be lucky bug, then I realized no. He derp. And [I needed to] give Maka a reason to love him... accidentally? I need the crushing. And Maka was gonna be black cat b/c she is not French, no sirree. And then, well... Destruct-O-Cat. I almost squeezed that into a scene. Originally B*S and Maka were the ones who were gonna get littled.

Q: How'd you come up with Soul's kwami?

fez: Oooooh. I struggled? B/c I didn't want him to be an OC but he... definitely wound up being an OC. I considered using Wes but... you know... actual brother lmao. [He was] strongly inspired by Tikki for sure.

Q: Kid being Death's kwami was one of my favorite lil gems. At what point in planning did you come up with that?

fez: KIDDO HAPPENED ALMOST BY ACCIDENT. I was just trying to wrap up ch 8 and I realized Kiddo exactly follows the kwami name scheme. It was a Moment.

Q: How did you work out Soul's mom as a character? Did anything influence how you portrayed her?

fez: Ahhhhhh I never liked Mama Evans? Something about her feels like the Smother, in my head I mean. And like... man idk. Been dealing with Unpleasant Feelings at the state of the world, partly directed at oblivious rich people who just... don't get it. They think they're the sun, moon and stars but they really really aren't. I do think she came out flatter/more stereotypical than I would've liked but I also wrote her like... the week of posting rip. I vaguely wanted her to run into Shibusen and be like, ridiculously charmed. Enough to resolve her wanting Wes to Do Better For Himself, but it didn't happen :') I wish I had time to like... make her not so shallow, but I'm also not sure how I would've pulled that off. I mean she's intuitive she just... happened to be wrong about the maid lmao. I enjoyed writing that immensely, ngl. Random humor in the middle of this lady is nuts. She sees what she wants to I guess? Or she assumes. She thinks Wes likes the xxx so she... yeah. There's probably history involving bad first times and short ex relationships in there.

Q: Ahahaha omg which reminds me, that was such a different portrayal of Wes. Most people do write him as into xxx, how did you come to it?

fez: Ahhhhh man i just... I like uncommon interpretations of characters, and I like playing with Wes's character b/c he doesn't have a canon one, and I just thought... everyone makes him super different from Soul but what if he's really not? He's just a grown Soul who Soul thought had his shit together b/c he was so much older. He'd Learned how to be Perfect for his parents but like.... that doesn't mean he liked it. The thing about Soul and Wes going to separate colleges was deffo lifted directly from my college experience. I applied to my brother's uni but I didn't gun it b/c I knew my mom would move down with us if i got accepted and... I love my mom, she is much better than this version of Mama Evans, but No. Nooooo no no no no.

Q: Was there a scene you super struggled with writing or found easier than you thought??

fez: Uhhhh, I thought Soul and Maka would fight more in the library in ch 6, but they settled down pretty quick ahah. Almost too quick?? I was Nervous like... what? Is this okay? Are they being too logical? What's going on? I thought it would be +500 words of Whispered Library Fighting. Most of the action scenes slid past once I sat down to write them? I just didn't like writing them. 

fez: Deleted scenes: so many reveal iterations, so many cat confesses iterations.

Q: Omg pls feed them to me, I loved the reveal.

fez: "'I’m in love with you, dummy,' Maka snaps, feeling her face burn." There's [also] a Soul POV ladybug-reveal iteration. It's... kinda long tho. Do you just.... want the doc? lmao: https://docs.google.com/document/d/11DbejHYa3Cow5frrf2yhO9zHRPac5Zqkv-gvuVD2BJM. [fez would like everyone to know that the doc is, in her opinion, messy ;D]

Q: You did multiple resbangs, how did you manage balancing art and writing?

fez: It helps to like... not have a job or school or anything. When crunch time came I just kinda gunned it. I got lucky that all my resbangs posted so late too, b/c it gave me more time to finish. [For] Dolly's I probably could've uploaded the sketches for all the pages, b/c those were done Super Early. Lining comics takes so long orz. I really love Anne's, we just had so many headcanons in common. Her Resbang was actually the easiest for me to work on. Whenever I worked on it I was like... dang I already have this bit done???? :thumbsup: Julie's I honestly wish I spent more time on b/c her resbang is gorgeous and emotional and mkaldsjfklsadf. I wanted to collab with amanda and do a song mv with her song like I did for Anne but n o p e. And then ofc I just buried myself in ML AU.

Q: I liked that Soul was ladybug.

fez: Ladybug Soul is my beb.

Q: That decision kinda bugs me. (I say it solely for the pun, it is a wonderful decision.)

fez: In hindsight I know it defeats the idea of female protag that ML has? Oh good, I was actually worried. But I just... ladybug Soul.

Q: I semi-wish Arachne would have used spiders.

fez: Haaaah yeah. I didn't want to diverge that much from ML canon, and I tried to nod to the spidery thing with her scene? I think I tried for web imagery there. I don't remember if i succeeded rip. 

fez: Have some of my posting day struggles lmao:

fez: I am... a Mess™.

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Thanks so much for swingin’ by, fez! Stay tuned for more transcripts!

[reptilisss]

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1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? Yeah I think my mom loves me idk tho     2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now? NO 3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time? I don’t think I’ve ever been both?4. Would you ever smile at a stranger? Yes I smile at everyone           5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? No oh my god6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? Nah             7. What exactly are you wearing right now? t shirt and robot boxers come at me 8. How often do you listen to music?  All the time              9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more? No pants tbh          10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013? nah             11. Are you a social or an antisocial person? I’m pretty introverted    12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’? Probably?     13. What about ‘R’? Yes          14. Can you drive a stick shift?  No :(              15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?  Nah not anymore              16. Are you going out of town soon? I’m graduating! Leaving my college town!    17. When was the last time you cried?  Yesterday night I got really emotional when I remembered I could go to this NOVA chain restaurant again when I get home from school. I cried over vid chat.        18. Have you ever told someone you loved them? Yeah of course             19. If you could change your eye color, would you? Nah I like having blue eyes 20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for? I found this frog shaped box at Goodwill, Franklin, who I would kill for.            21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having. Filling this out, Scott.            22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead? Yeah I guess       23. Are you dating the last person you talked to? Yes the last thing he sent was “I love you I am helping my brother make mozzarella.”          24. What are you sitting on right now? Dorm bed.        25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you? Yes my friends tell me a lot I love them too            26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? Lol nah not really.  27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? My boyfriend    28. Do you get a lot of colds? No not really           29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from? Goodwill, yo.             30. Does anyone hate you? Oh yeah   31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?  Nope I have half a handle of vodka in the freezer tho   32. Do you like watching scary movies?  Yeah            33. Do you want your tongue pierced? I’ve had it pierced for like six or seven months now :) 12g        34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? More than one year      35. Did you have a dream last night?  Yeah I was brushing my teeth and then my tooth brush broke I was really upset about it.    36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? Like 20 minutes ago           37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? I have no idea            38. Do you think someone has feelings for you? I really hope so lol        39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? Maybe?       40. Did you have a good day yesterday?  Nah it was a bad day       41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship? Yeah I still am :)            42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl? Nah but I just got back from seeing my roommates and they’re women.          43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? Yep            44. What’s the best part about school? Learning! I love learning.       45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook? SO many          46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school? Nah but I text em during class       47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head? Yeah tbh I talk to myself a bunch            48. Were you single over the last summer? Nah I’m not single a lot           49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago? No and it’s great             50. What are you supposed to be doing right now? Idk studying I guess         51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? Nope I love him lots 52. Are you nice to everyone? I wish I was lol 53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Yeah I guess             54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? Um. Yes?55. Are you good at hiding your feelings? I think it depends on the feeling. I’m not good at hiding when I’m angry at someone, but I think I can hide when I have a crush a little better. Maybe.              56. Do you think you like someone? I mean I’m dating him yeah I think I like him lol   57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’? Yeah        58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? I’ve never thought that way, never had a preference.        59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry? Haha yeah I cry all the time.  60. Do you hate anyone? I try not to think about it like that             61. How’s your heart? Full of my blood  62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?  I feel like that’s true for everyone 63. Have you ever cried over a guy? Yeah but not like in a romantic way more in like “you’re a shitbag” way           64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now? Uh. I don’t know. Probably someone at school.            65. Are your toenails painted pink? My toenails are not painted.       66. Will your next kiss be a mistake? Nah :)     67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct? I’m not a girl but I like when my partners are emotionally open - you don’t have to cry tho          68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public? Kevin in 8th grade pulled my jeans down fuck him    69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with? my dad and mom I think        70. How do you look right now? Tired             71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around? More than one :)           72. Can you commit to one person? Monogamy hasn’t been an issue for me      73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? That’s a weird question      74. Have you ever felt replaced? No but I’ve def felt used           75. Did you wake up cranky? Yes but that’s normal                76. Are you a jealous person? I think I used to be         77. Are relationships ever worth it? Yeah I mean it depends on if you’re ready for one and you meet a nice person.       78. Anyone you’re giving up on? Nah          79. Currently wanting to see anyone? Definitely       80. Name something you have to do tomorrow? Talk to my psych         81. Last person you cried in front of? I cried over video chat about guacamole last night with my boyfriend.              82. Is there someone you will never forget? Yeah               83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you? Yes he tells me all the time lol               84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now? I’d make him finish Twin Peaks 85. Are you over your past? Not really but it’s okay          86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex? Another weird question           87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? Yeah    88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? She has nothing to apologize for, she’s great we are friends. :)          89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in? Yes! 90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? Haha yeah             91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months? I hope so :) 92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael? Yeah          93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew? I think so        94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going? Very well!         95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March? Yeah :)     96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive? I guess so              97. Who do you have texts from? my friends and my dad 98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? I can’t control other people. 99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? Yes          100. Who’s in your profile picture with you? No one            101. Ever kissed under fireworks?  Nah      102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?  No one has given me bugs as a present.