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xjes ¡ 8 months
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inmate!eddie munson x teacher!reader
cw: drinking, explicit fantasies
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September 16th,1994 
The idea to you was asinine from the moment Principal Williams brought you into her office to explain the program details to you. How no one else thought that the idea of thirteen-year-olds becoming “pen pals” with prisoners wasn’t insane baffled you. It was dangerous at worst and inappropriate at best, but,  despite your best efforts to reason with her, your opinion as a “newer” teacher was dismissed. 
Now here you are listening to the speech of the prison rep, Mr. Bridges, as he explained the program to your 7th grade class. Not like you had a lesson planned for them today.
Mr. Bridges stands a whole 5 feet and 6 inches with a short stack military fade and the most unsettling sunny disposition. He reads as incredibly fake, like a snake oil salesman, and his shiny, white, slightly too big for his mouth veneers not doing him any favors. It doesn’t surprise you that your newly divorced principal was able to be persuaded by this guy's charms, but thankfully you’re used to his kind of tactics from your own previous relationship. 
Before leaving, Mr.Bridges approaches you at your desk. “I’m sorry to bother you,” he starts, leaning too far into your space. One of his thick fingers points at a paper he had given you before he started his speech, “but is a student absent today? We have an unassigned inmate—”
“We had a student move,” you say shortly, keeping your voice monotone and not bothering to glance at his paper, “so I’m short one student in this class.”
Bridges nodded, clearly deep in thought. His brows furrowed for a moment before perking up. 
“Maybe you’d like to take on a pen pal?’” He proposes, his chipper disposition coxing on the migraine that wants to break through behind your eye.
The look on your face must have said it all as he tried to convince you further. “The inmates that signed up are all trying to better themselves before being re-released into society, ya’know?” His eye’s shift, landing on the floor with a solemn look. “We thought talking to kids that grew up while they were incarcerated would help them get in touch with the times, be able to cope with time they’ve lost. Give them something to look forward to when they get out.” 
The pads of your fingers dig into your temples, eyes rolling to the back of your head before finally giving him the eye contact he so desperately craved from you. 
“Fine, I’ll take whoever you have left, I guess. What’s his name?”
“Perfect!” Bridges hands clap together next to your ear, “The leftover inmate wants to go by The Banished One and he—”
“Banished what?” You ask, confused.
“Oh, The Banished One! It’s his nickname for the project. We have all the inmates disguise their names just in case the kids may be related to one of them.”
“Oh my god,” you groan, resting your head in your hand, “Okay, fine, sure I guess that makes sense.” 
 Bridges continued to assure you that all the letters are anonymous and would be vetted both ways, adding that only ‘good behavior’ inmates were allowed to take part in the program as a last push for your participation, you reluctantly agreed. Mostly just to get him to leave your classroom before your head explodes, but not without the stipulation that if you thought it was too much for your kids that you would pull them out. That seemed to be enough to satisfy him.  
October 7th, 1994 
The first writing session took place on a Friday, the soft sound of music from your mixtape playing for the kids to help them relax. It had been a long week of testing and you felt like an easy day was in order for both you and the kids, most of your other classes would just be doing free work. 
You grabbed the stack of letters from your desk, Pictures of You by The Cure filling the air as you hand each student their respective letter. 
“Don’t forget to keep personal information like names and where you live out of your letters. Once you’re done, bring them to my desk.”  
Once the kids were settled, you returned to your desk and grabbed your own letter. The envelope before you had “Teach” written across the front, the pen name you chose to go by. The handwriting was like chicken scratch. Not much different from the 13 year old boys whose papers you grade, though, so you were confident in your ability to decipher the rest of the letter. But still had a roughness, an edge to it.  
As you opened your letter, unfolding the paper to it’s full state, the first thing to catch your attention was the graffiti like drawings along the margins of the paper. It reminded you of a flash sheet at the tattoo shop your friends took you to for your 21st birthday, a permanent reminder of that day on your inner ankle in the form of a small butterfly that was already starting to fade. There was nothing too offensive; a rose, a sailor ship, a dove with an olive branch, all impressively done for just being pen on paper. 
Once you got past the artwork, you began to take in the letter's contents. The single page was filled from front to back, barely any room for the signature at the bottom.
“Hey there, “Teach”... if that is your real name…” the letter starts. The lame opener makes you crack a small smile that you quickly cover with your hand. You read on, taking in each sentence, and you start to get the idea that your pen pal doesn’t take this pen pal assignment too seriously. 
The letter is casual, a few puns here and there, with some Tolkien references that would have been missed if one wasn’t familiar with his work. It’s clear that this person is young, or at least young at heart, which saddens you to think about, but you try not to dwell on it. 
Getting into the meat of the letter, your pal explains that went to prison in 1989 for drug related charges, but is set to get out in about a year if he keeps up his good behavior.
 “I’m ready to get out of this place and get back to my hometown in Hawkins.” 
A shiver goes down your spine for a moment when you read that he’s from Hawkins. Bridges assured you that the inmates wouldn’t know what school the kids would be from, but you weren’t expecting to be talking to someone from this small town. You wonder if Bridges knows more than he’s letting on with his comment about the kids being related to the inmates.
Once the creepy feeling dissipates you continue to read on. The details your pal gives about himself tell you that he’s very different from the people you usually hang out with. His favorite genre of music is metal and he used to play guitar and do vocals for a band every week before he started working as a mechanic full time. They’d have a crowd of 20 or so some nights, but it was usually just the regulars at the place they would play at. 
The final paragraph of the letter consists of a seemingly scripted warning about the dangers of drugs and that no one should make the same mistake he did. You wondered if this was obligatory for the project. At the bottom of the page your pal signs with his chosen moniker “The Banished One.” When thinking about it, you find that it’s very fitting for an inmate.  
After taking a moment to check in on your class, Morrissey’s somber voice serenading them as  “I Know It’s Over” plays from the small radio’s speakers, you pull out your own pen and paper to start your response.
 As you ponder on where to start, a thought that crosses your mind; does your pen pal even know they’re talking to an adult? The pen name you chose might be on the nose but you didn’t want to assume. Granted, your handwriting itself may be a dead giveaway if you were to compare it to a teens.  
It took you a couple of tries to start your letter. Instinctively, you wanted to be formal, but the longer you thought about it the more you didn’t want to come off as a boring writing companion. You tried and failed to come up with something witty to match the vibe of your pal, but comedy wasn’t your strong point, though you’d argue that it wasn’t his either. Instead, you approached it as if you were writing to a friend.  
“Hello! Nice to meet you “Banished One." Though, it sounds like you won't be banished much longer.” 
Erring on the side of caution you chose to only respond directly to things he wrote, slipping in that you also enjoyed the works of Tolkien with your own reference. You mention that you listen to metal from time to time, more into radio rock at the moment, but you’d really listen to anything.
 It took you a minute to calculate how to respond to the reveal of his dealings in drugs, ultimately deciding to lightly say that you hoped he learned his lesson unless he saw himself returning to prison in the future. You shared that you were familiar with Hawkins, noting that you loved the milkshakes from the old diner in town, but left it at that. As you closed the letter you complimented his artwork, informing him that the rose was your favorite and that you looked forward to seeing his artwork on future letters.
You’d manage to write enough to cover the majority of the back of your lined paper, signing your pen name a few lines away from the bottom. Going over your letter again, you can't help feeling like it’s a bit dull. Safe, but that’s what it's supposed to be.
October 24th,1994 
It only took two weeks for Mr. Bridges to return with new letters for your class. Truthfully, you had almost forgotten about the letters entirely while trying to keep your students on track as the holiday season approaches. The emotional whiplash of seeing your ex out with his new, younger girlfriend while you were out looking for Halloween decor for your apartment wasn't helping either. It felt like no matter what you did, how much your friends tried to help, you just couldn’t catch a break. At least the manager of the local liquor store was nice to you. 
When your students seemed too preoccupied with the stack of letters on your desk to pay attention to your lecture, you decided to call it a day and give all of you a break. You click on your small stereo and let the tune of Jeff Buckley’s Hallelujah take over the room while you pass out letters. 
Once the letters were distributed, you settled at your desk where your eyes met with the same chicken scratch handwriting as before. It was tempting to reach for it… until you glanced at the pile of ungraded papers that sat next to it, taunting you. You desperately needed to go over them, the deadline to turn in grades fast approaching.
You deliberated on what to do. You had to admit you were curious about the letter. Part of you wondered if you’d even get one back. You didn’t want to give any personal information away, so you couldn’t blame the random man in prison for not responding if he thought he was talking to an old lady teacher. 
But the stack of papers is practically glaring at you.
A thought; you could always finish your papers later at home. But you did tell yourself you would be better at bringing so much work home with you this year…Your friends had an influence on that decision, making sure you took at least every other weekend to go out and do something — anything to keep you from shutting yourself in again. 
With a sigh, you tuck the letter into your work bag, grabbing your pen to start grading.
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“Damn it, why can’t I find one stupid pen!” 
Slamming drawers and stomping around, the red liquid of your cup sloshing around in your glass as you grew more and more frustrated in your search for a pen to write out the checks for the coming month’s bills. 
After searching the kitchen, you make your way to the living room and spot your school bag on the coffee table. In your rage, you slam the glass on the table and begin haphazardly pulling the contents out of the bag, praying you still had a pen that hadn’t been “borrowed” to never be returned by one of your students. 
The feeling of plastic on the tips of your finger almost brought you to tears of joy. Pulling out a purple ink pen you decided that it would have to be good enough if your landlord wanted your rent on time. 
After finishing with the checks, you return to your bag to put the envelopes inside to drop off tomorrow at the post office. As you lift the bag, your eyes meet with chicken scratch again away. A burst of buzzed excitement runs through you at the sight, even if for just a moment before you shook it off. It was just an envelope from some random man sitting in a jail cell, why are you getting so excited? Is it because you’re at home and not feeling the pressure to be uptight and rigid? 
Or maybe it’s because you can’t remember the last time you received a letter that wasn’t a bill. It sort of gave you a feeling of nostalgia, taking you back to a time when you wrote letters to your mom when you were at camp, or when you would write to your grandparents around the holidays. It even reminded you a bit of writing in your diary, if your diary could write back that is. It’s not like he would have room to judge you from his jail cell, right?
You snatch the letter from the bag and walk back into the kitchen, grabbing the dark bottle of wine to refill your glass and plopping down at the table. Ripping open the envelope, you pull out the letter and immediately notice that it is covered in artwork just as the last one was.
This time you notice a 20-sided dice with a banner that read “critical hit”, a very detailed dragon head, and a stylized version of the skeleton guy that you’ve seen on the cover of Iron Maiden albums. The biggest piece was of another rose, but in the fully bloomed center was an eye. It was…interesting. Well done, but not what you were expecting. Not that you were expecting anything anyway.  
Getting the artwork out of the way, you take a large sip of your drink and begin reading.
“Hello again, Teach,” the letter starts, “I think we need to discuss the elephant in the room before I can write anything else.” Your brow quirks up, a slight nervousness begins to creep in your mind. 
“I was already suspicious when I was told the person I was writing to wanted to go by Teach. And no seventh grader I’ve ever known can write as nicely as you. Not that I know a lot of seventh graders...Anyway, can I ask how I ended up being pen pals with the class teacher? I know I could ask Bridges, but I think it would be more fun to hear it from you.” 
Your lips tug into a smile, but this time you don’t feel the need to cover it. Why did it feel like a game he won or a riddle he solved? It wasn’t exactly like you were hiding it. But something about him figuring out something about you was…exciting.
As you get into the meat of the letter itself he goes on to ask you what subject you teach and how long you have been teaching. He asks if you like working with kids and if they ever made you want to pull your hair out. The phrasing of his words make you giggle. 
“I was never good in school,” he states. “It took me three tries of my senior year to graduate. I used to blame my teachers saying that they didn’t like the way I dressed or my taste in music. I guess now I have to admit that it was probably because I didn’t bother to show up to class or do any of my homework…” 
A full laugh shook you in your chair. Was he actually funnier in this letter? And why did it come off feeling so personal? The air about it was different, like you were talking to a long-distance friend rather than a felon, your cheeks starting to ache from smiling as you continue read his sketchy handwriting.
He went on to ask more about you, like what your favorite band was since you “liked rock so much more than metal,” with a little frowny face to punctuate his disagreement. He says the prison lets them watch MTV sometimes, which has been his main exposure to new music. Sometimes he gets a hold of new music every once and a while, but usually just listens to his old cassettes on his Walkman that his uncle gave him when he first entered the system.
“Some people have tried to steal it from me, but they learned pretty quickly that I have my ways to get things back, and that I'm not one to be messed with.”
That left you curious. A small glimpse into the inner workings of prison. You never really thought about what a person in prison could or couldn’t have. It was nice that he could have at least a small luxury, an item of value if it was under constant threat of being taken. You also couldn’t help but wonder what he meant by not being messed with.
Before you know it you’ve hit the end of the letter. You can’t help but feel a little disappointed. It felt like there could have been so much more to say, but his pen name barely fit at the bottom of the paper as it is. You take a piece of paper out of your notebook, pulling the frayed pieces off the edge and replacing the one in front of you with it.  Hopefully your pal won't mind the purple pen or the probable lack of coherence compared to your first letter as you feel the wine really start to kick in.
Referring back to the paper like a student answering a question in class, you make sure to answer all of his questions to the best of your ability.  
“Hello again, Mr. Banished. I see you have uncovered my secret that I am, in fact, a grown woman and not a 13-year-old. I hope that doesn’t bother you. I have been teaching English since I graduated college, coincidentally in 1989. It's like we traded places; I got to leave the prison of being a student in college and you went to prison for whatever drug related charges you acquired.” You laughed at your own joke as you continued. 
“As for why you are stuck with writing a late 20’s school teacher rather than one of my students, that would be because of the aforementioned Mr.Bridges. We had a student move a few weeks into the school year and Bridges practically got on his knees and begged me to take on a pen pal.” You left out the detail of not being totally comfortable with the program. Not that you weren’t still hesitant, but the last thing you wanted to do was offend him by insinuating anything about the type of person he was for being in jail. The wine had rationalized with you that sometimes good people do bad things when they’re in dark places.
Continuing on, you wrote that he was probably right in both his opinions on why his teachers failed him. The older teachers at your school were stuck in their ways and judged students before really trying to help them. You did your best not to be the same way, hoping to be a teacher that your students could trust and come to if they needed help. It was a passion of yours since you were small, wanting to help people learn and grow, so what better way to do that than to teach?
“I am interested in what you wore that would call for such harsh judgment. I try to be as unbiased as I can with all my kids. If you asked them, they would say that I’m stuffy or rigid most of the time, but it’s mostly because I care about their education. And partly because being a new teacher is…really freaking tough if I’m being honest. These older teachers don’t take half of the things I say seriously because their own kids are older than me. It’s kind of bullshit, actually, but I just deal with it until I can get more experience under my belt.” 
A sigh slips through your lips, pen tapping against the kitchen table as you feel the frustration bubbling. It’s not fair to dump these feelings on him, but the anonymity made it so easy to just put everything out there. He doesn’t know anything about you, and if you were to weird him out by getting a little real, then he could just not write back, right? 
After taking a moment to collect yourself, you decided to just move on to a different topic. 
“Sorry, that was a lot of feelings on my part. Is it too personal to ask what you do in prison? You mentioned getting to listen to music, but what else do you do? I’ve seen in movies that inmates work out a lot and play basketball outside. Is that real or made up for the audience? If it is real, does that mean you are super buff from working out all the time? Do you beat people up if they try and take your Walkman, or do you stab them? I’ve seen people do that in movies, too. I hope you don’t stab them, that would be scary.” 
You can feel yourself getting a bit rambley in your tired state, so you decide it’s time to call it a night. You wrap up the letter by telling him that you’re going to go to sleep and that you were looking forward to his next letter. You sign your name and draw a small doodle of a flower next to it.
November 18th,1994
It was 3 am when you woke up the first time. A nightmare had you shooting up from your pillow, cold sweat drenched the collar of your sleep shirt, chest heaving as you caught your breath. 
He had been knocking at your door, your pen pal. You never saw his face, but heard the anger in his voice as he yelled for you to let him in. You remember sitting in front of the door begging for him to leave you alone, telling him it was too soon. That you weren’t ready.  
The nightmare became reoccurring, waking you at least 2 or 3 times a week. Sometimes it’s your ex, but most of the time it’s your pen pal. Even though you have no inkling of what he looks like, you just know it’s him on the other side.
The disturbance in your sleep was starting to affect your daily life, one of your coworkers asking if you were okay after over pouring a cup of coffee in the teacher’s lounge.
“Are you okay?” Mr.Clarke asks, helping you mop up the spilled coffee with some paper towels.
“Yes, I’m sorry, yeah,” you say, trying and failing to reassure him.
“Hey, I know that midterms can be rough with the holidays coming up. But, try not to stress out about it too much. I’ve heard good things about you from the kids in my classes that have you this year. You’re doing a good job, so don't kill yourself, okay?”
It was damn near impossible not to burst into tears at your coworkers words, but you held it together until you could hide in the faculty restroom.
The dreams didn’t stop though. Even Mr.Bridges felt the need to comment.
  “Holidays stressing you out?” he asked with an energy that seemed inhuman to you, his sunny disposition could make the snow outside melt.
“No.” You stated shortly as you looked through your lesson plan for the day.
“Well, that’s good to hear,” he said with a nod, “This is the most wonderful time of the year after all. We try to stay busy at the prison, keep the morale high and what not.” 
He placed the stack of letters on your desk, along with a small box that read “Greeting Cards” with a wintery scene displayed on the front. 
“These are for the students to give to the inmates.” You look at him with “no shit” written on your face. He cleared his throat, “But, uh, I’m sure you could figure that out. I know this time of year can be hectic for everyone, but we all deserve some holiday cheer, right?” Your expression remains unchanged as he continues on.
“Right, well, I’ll be giving the inmates their own cards to send to the kids with their letters. It might be a bit difficult for me to come back before Christmas, family affairs to attend to and all that. So, I went ahead and wrote the address and stamped the envelopes for the cards. If I don’t come back by, oh, let's say the 15th? Just go ahead and stick those in the mail and I’ll make sure the inmates get them!” 
Before you could protest having to go out of your way to do his job, Mr.Bridges quickly made his exit as the warning bell rang, wishing you a happy holiday as he disappeared. 
With the lack of free class time as you all crammed for test week, you decided to let the kids take their letters and cards home for the weekend to work on. As you passed them out, keeping the addressed envelopes in the box, you told the kids to write something nice in their cards. 
“This may be the only card some of these men get, so think about that when you’re writing them this weekend.”
Getting to the last letter, you feel your stomach twist as you read your actual government first name in the familiar chicken scratch handwriting instead of your pen name. You hadn’t even realized that you had stopped dead in your tracks until the sound of the bell brought you back to your body. 
“U-uh, ge--get your letters done by the end of class Tuesday!” You yell over your class as they begin migrating out of the room.
Quickly, you return to your desk and rip open the letter. Unsurprisingly, it’s once again covered in artwork. The pumpkins and bats and other Halloween inspired art felt out of place, putting in perspective how long it had been since your last letter. But before you could look much further into the writing your next class began to file in, forcing you to set the letter aside for later. 
You’d felt nauseous the rest of your morning classes, You wracked your brain about how the hell your pen pal could have figured out your actual name. You may have been...a little tipsy when you wrote that letter a month ago, but you’re sure you didn’t say anything personal enough that he would know who you were. Could he have asked someone on the outside to look into you? No, Mr.Bridges assured you that the inmates don’t know what school they are writing to. Maybe Bridges said your name to someone at the jail and the inmate overheard?  
As soon as the bell rang for your lunch period, you practically rushed your students out the door and closed it. Throwing yourself into your chair, you grab the letter and begin reading. 
“Well, well, I wasn’t expecting to be getting more lore in your newest letter! You have a very cute name by the way…Sorry I hope that wasn’t weird. Anyway! I guess I can tell you my name, too. Call me Eddie.”
  Eddie. 
So you had included your own name in your letter somewhere. You sigh with relief, though it still makes you a little uncomfortable that this stranger knows something personal about you. Sure he’s been nice, but he was still a felon. Though knowing his name made you feel a little better. Made him feel a tad more human to not use silly nicknames.
“Can I start by saying I loved reading your last letter?” Your eyebrows raised in surprise.“The purple pen was a nice touch. Something about a teacher complaining about other teachers is really funny to me, too. Nice to know the torment of some teachers isn’t just limited to students! And I doubt your kids think you’re stiff or whatever. You seem pretty cool to me. Even if I’ve only gotten to talk to you through a couple letters, you talk to me a lot nicer than I probably deserve.”
The smile that had made its home on your lips from his sentiments dropped into a frown. You felt yourself wanting to get defensive, wanting to tell him that he shouldn’t think that way about himself. That even if he was a felon, he still deserves respect.
“Being a younger teacher must be hard. You did all the college stuff to be a teacher so that should be enough to get their respect in my opinion. I don’t think I had a teacher who wasn’t at least in their 50s so they probably can’t see anyone under 30 as anything other than a kid I guess.”
“Hit the nail on the head,” you say to yourself with an airy chuckle. 
As you keep reading, he changes the subject to something you don’t remember asking in your previous letter.
“So you wanna know what I look like, huh? Well back before I was in here I would wear my band shirts, Metallica and Judas Priest and all the bands that make the old ladies cringe. My jeans had holes in them, too. And I have this battle vest that I’ve put together with some patches of my favorite bands on it. My uncle Wayne says he’s keeping it safe for me at home. It’s not much, but I learned how to stitch patches on by myself, so it means something to me. Gives me something to look forward to when I get out.” 
Your mind paints an image of a gangely teen trying to look cool to impress his friends or scare off the old ladies at the mall. Sounds like the kind of guy you had crushes on in high school. There may have been a picture or 2 of Kirk Hammit or Vince Neil or Eddie Van Halen tapped to the inside of your locker door in high school, but you’d never admit that now.
“I also had long hair when I was younger. Can’t call yourself a metal head without having long hair ya know. But I’ve had to cut it since I’ve been in here. I’ve got pretty curly hair and it was getting hard to keep up with it. It’s short enough to keep out of my face most of the time. I’m actually due for a haircut, so thanks for reminding me! Hair cuts are free in prison so I get it done way more than I ever did on the outside. You gotta tip your barber though or else they might “accidentally” shave all your hair off next time. Learned that one the hard way.”
He goes on to answer some of your questions about the inner workings of the jail. They do get to work out a lot, but says he’s not a “big meat head” like some of the other inmates. He doesn’t like basketball for “personal reasons” so he prefers to run laps. “When you’re trying to get out of a big fight it’s better to be faster than stronger.”
“I am also proud to admit that I have never stabbed someone. Almost been stabbed myself, but I used to get my shit rocked in high school so I’ve learned to dodge over the years.” Your hand comes to your face, almost forgetting that you asked such a stupid question. Of course he hasn’t stabbed anyone. You could excuse it if it was out of self defense maybe. But then you recall him saying before that he doesn’t get “messed with”, so what is he doing that people aren’t bothering him if not stabbing them? Your head spins with possibilities as you think about it more.
As you are about to read on, you are interrupted by a knock on your door, the sound causing you to jump in your seat. Quickly closing the letter and shoving it into your bag, you rush to the door to find a student from your 3rd period class, a shy one at that, needing clarification on the newest assignment. You let her in, forgetting the letter for the rest of the period. 
The rest of the period then turns into the rest of the day. It goes by like a blur as everyone seems to be getting last minute things turned in for the week. Grades for the upcoming report cards would be due by the end of next Tuesday, so you told your classes to get any missing work in by today and you would give them partial credit. It was setting yourself up for a busy weekend, but anything to keep your mind off the upcoming holiday was welcomed. 
It would be your first Thanksgiving single in almost 10 years, and your 4th since your mom passed. Your soon to be ex-husband, Henry, had convinced you to move to his hometown of Hawkins after your mother died to be closer to his family and to help his dad’s business as his accountant. It wasn’t your first choice of places to live, and after looking back on the situation, you realized that he had used your vulnerability to get a lot of what he wanted. 
Things seemed fine at first. His parents bought your house and he had a good paying job. All you had to do was cling to his arm and keep quiet. You were kept well manicured, your appearance catered to his liking as he paraded you around at office parties.
The not so hushed whispers from the women in his office always talking about how lucky you were to bag an older man reached your ears. But you kept your tongue against your cheek. They could be jealous all they want, because if they knew what happened behind closed doors they wouldn’t be singing the same tune. 
Waking up early in the morning, way before he ever did, just to put on your face. God forbid you weren’t presentable to him always. Afterwards you’d iron his white button ups and khaki slacks, make him a huge breakfast, present his clothes to him, and be waiting by the door on your knees for him to use your mouth before he walked out the door. 
At the time, you felt like you had a purpose. That being a housewife was what you were meant to be. But the degree you had worked so hard on stared at you as you cleaned the house everyday. Your passion was just in reach, boring you every day.
That is, until fate, and the well timed retirement of your predecessor, gave you the opportunity to start teaching that year. When you got the call, you were over the moon. Henry even said he was proud of you. 
Until you forgot to iron his clothes. It was just a stern talking to the first time, an anger in his eyes like you’d never seen before had you on edge the entire first day of class. You made it up to him by waking up extra early, using your mouth to start his day since you couldn’t be at the door for him anymore.
But, then you started falling behind on chores during the week as grading papers took up most of your free time when you weren’t tending to his needs. It’s not that you didn’t clean, it just wasn't the only thing you had to do every day anymore. Passive comments about becoming lazy were brushed to the side until they collectively spilled over into your first big argument. You told him he could help, too. He smacked you across the face. 
Too busy juggling work and cleaning the house full time caused you to miss the signs that things were declining. It started when Henry had to start staying late for work, claiming that they had a “big project” that was going to require him to stay over longer. He made it seem like a temporary arrangement that ended up becoming a pattern for months. But, he assured you that a raise could come from his hard work. So you continued to sit at home, a cold, untouched plate sitting across from you as you finished another bottle of wine. At least he wasn’t there to put his hands on you.
Then it was the pair of panties that you didn’t recognize when you did his laundry. When you confronted him, he told you that it must be a pair you owned back in high school that was mixed in with his clothes somehow when you moved. When you pressed on, he gave you a black eye. 
Then it was the perfume you didn’t recognize on your pillow case when you came home from a weekend trip to see your new nephew. He told you it smelled like your perfume, you just hadn’t been home all weekend to smell it. You didn’t argue this time.
Then it was his father’s secretary, Missy, calling your home and telling you that she was sleeping with your husband. She had been nice at last year's Christmas party when you first met her. Nineteen, dumb as a box of rocks.
“Are you and Henry still married?” she had asked with her valley girl accent, “Because when I stayed over I saw that he still had pictures of you two at his house.”
Now you’re stuck in this tiny town, your closest relative being your brother who has his own family out in Chicago. Thankfully, you had made friends with the ever charming Steve Harrington, who’s father also worked with Henry. He came as a package deal with his roommate Robin Buckley, and the two of them quickly became your best friends. They were as blindsided as you about Henry’s affair and helped you move into your new apartment. Steve offered to let you live with him and Robin, but you didn’t want to live in the same house as your ex’s coworker, even if he was never there.
“We should make a grocery list for next week.” Robin called from the kitchen to where you and Steve were sat in the living room. “Do we want to bother making a turkey or should we do something easier?”
“Do you know how to make a turkey?” you asked looking over the top of your wine glass as she taps a pen to paper scowling.
“She can barely make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, d’ya really think she can make a turkey?” You watch as a roll of paper towels is launched from the kitchen into the side of Steve’s head and your laugh erupts.
“Well, then were fucked,” you say between giggles, “because I can’t make a turkey, and I know Steve “grabs a pan without a mitt” Harrington also can’t cook one.”
“Oh, that was ONE TIME!” 
Steve goes to throw the paper towel roll at you, but you dodge, “One time is enough to never let you live it down, Steven. Maybe we should get some chicken instead.”
“Oh, I can make us some potato salad!”
After some back and forth about what to make for your “Friendsgiving” as Robin had been calling it, claiming inspiration from a new episode of Friends, Steve was begging to talk about anything else. 
“School seems to be better this year,” he looks at you carefully, “You haven’t been talking about it as much lately. Not negatively at least.”
“Yeah the only thing you’ve complained about is that prison thing your class was supposed to be doing.” She looked at you with a look of curiosity, “How’s that going?”
You blink and suddenly remember the letter that you had gotten earlier. It was sitting in your bag back home where you had left it on your coffee table again. You were so busy getting ready to go to Steve’s that you had forgotten to finish it.
“It’s going okay. Hey, did you guys go to high school here?”
They both look at each other, then back to you. “Yep, graduated a year after dingus, though. Class of ‘86.”
Steve gave Robin an annoyed look at the nickname before returning his attention to you, “Why do you ask?”
You pondered for a moment if it would be okay to tell them about Eddie. The program was supposed to be anonymous, but that was just to protect the kids. If he wasn’t allowed to give you his name they would have confiscated the letter, right? Bridges said the letters were vetted both ways, so if it was a problem he would have told you. But this seemed like a breach of privacy. You only had a first name to go off of and a vague description. He never said his age, so could be older than even you, or younger than Robin. 
“Um, do you guys know anyone that goes by Eddie?” 
They both perked up at the name, giving each other a look that you couldn’t read. You swore they could communicate telepathically.
Steve was the first to speak after a moment of silence. “Yeah, we know an Eddie. Why?” His tone was curious as he side eyed you.
“Oh, well my pen pal from the, uh, the prison thing. See his name is Eddie, and he told me that he’s from Hawkins. I don’t know much about him, but I think he may be close to my age and maybe he was in school with you guys-”
Robins laugh caught you off guard. “If it’s the same Eddie we know, then yes he was in school with us. Way longer than he was supposed to be, and we didn’t really get close until the end of my senior year.”
The look on your face prompted Steve to elaborate, “Eddie was -- is, a friend of ours that we got to know better through a mutual friend. He did go to prison a few years ago, but it was because he was scapegoated by a guy he bought weed from. We thought he was gonna go to jail for, like, the rest of his life or something. I had to convince my dad to get our lawyer that he keeps on retainer to represent him in court. The guy owed my dad a favor and he did it, Eddie only got five years.”
“There’s no way,” you said incredulously. Your jaw had to be on the floor. You knew this town was small, but was it really this small? Robin and Steve would be the type to forget to mention they had a friend in prison, too. 
“What’s his last name?”
“Munson. Eddie Munson. We still talk to him on the phone every once in a while. Usually his uncle gets a hold of us, tells us that he’s going to call at a certain time so we can stay by the phone. Oh!” Steve stands up from his spot on the couch, clapping his hands, “I have my senior year book up stairs. He should be in it as long as he showed up to picture day.” 
As Steve walks away, you turn to Robin, who has an amused look on her face.
“What?” You laugh, still in disbelief at the information that has been given to you. She shrugs, lips turned in a downward smile, “Nothing. So what do you and Eddie talk about?”
“What do we talk about? Not much really. We’ve only sent maybe two letters to each other. He always covers the letters in artwork though. They look like little tattoos.”
“Yeah, that’s definitely our Eddie,” She shakes her head, “His notebooks that he would carry around with him are covered in art. He told us he’s given himself some tattoos while he’s been there. We keep telling him he’s going to look like a felon when he comes out.”
“Isn’t he a felon, though?” 
“Yeah, but he doesn’t have to look like it!”
“Found it!” Steve yells as he comes back into the living room, blowing the dust off the book. He plops down on the couch between you and Robin and starts to look through the pages. “See, the funny thing about Eddie, he was supposed to graduate in ‘84, but he kept fucking around and ended up repeating his senior year -- three times.” 
“Holy shit,” you were in absolute disbelief, “he told me that in one of his letters. He said he was because the teachers didn’t like him, too.”
“Yeah, that sounds like something he would say,” Robin chuckles. 
“Ah-ha, He did show up! Here he is right here!”
Your eyes snapped to where Steve’s fingers pointed to the tiny black and white square. Eddie wasn’t kidding when he said his hair was super curly. The close up of his face makes his hair almost completely take the background out of the picture. You can barely see it but it looks like he’s wearing a Judas Priest shirt under a leather jacket and what you suspect to be the leather jacket he seems to treasure so much. When you finally let yourself focus on his face you’re met with a bright smile and dimples on either side. Dark eyes scrunched up from how high his cheeks were. You definitely would have had a crush on him if you had gone to the same school. 
“Soooo…what do you think?” Robin sing-songs with an expectant look on her face. 
You can feel yourself smiling and try to reign it in, “Well, he’s not a 40 year old biker looking guy with a beard so that makes me feel better. He looks nice, actually.” 
“He’s a good guy,” Steve starts flipping through the pages of the book, “but everyone gave him shit because…of…this.” Stopping on another page in the book, you see a picture of a group of students leaning up against a wall, all of them wearing matching shirts. 
“Hellfire Club?” You look between Steve and Robin. 
“He hasn’t mentioned Hellfire Club?” Robin was baffled. “That’s like, his whole thing!”
You shake your head, brows furrowed,“What is it?” 
“His D&D club? He’s seriously never brought it up?”
“No, not yet at least.” Taking the book from Steve, you get a better look at the picture. “Like I said, we've only sent a few letters back and forth. I wouldn’t say we’ve exhausted all of our topics for discussion yet.”
“You’ll never run out of things to talk about with Eddie,” Steve states sarcastically, “You’d think prison would have had an effect on his social skills, but that guy could talk for an hour about a crack he saw in the sidewalk.”
Hearing that made you wonder if he ever held back when writing to you. His letters were usually front and back all the way to the bottom of the pages. You wonder if they only allow him one page or if has to pay for the paper. Hopefully he wasn’t wasting his money to talk to you. 
“When was the last time you guys talked to him?” 
“Uh-“ Robin starts.
“It was still hot outside I think,” Steve interjects, “Like early September?”
“Yeah,” Robin nods, eyes wide, “September sounds about right.”
“Hmm, that’s around when we started writing to each other. I guess he wouldn’t have mentioned it if he didn’t know about me yet.” 
“If it’s been that long we’re definitely due for a call from him.” Robin looks to Steve, you miss the mischief in her eyes, nor do you see the look he gives her back. “Maybe you could talk to him next time he calls us?”
Your head snaps up, eyes wide meeting Robin’s gaze. You saw the look now and immediately started shaking your head in protest. 
“No, no, Robin I don’t think that’s a good idea.” You stand up from your spot on the couch, handing the yearbook back to Steve. Taking a few steps back to look at them, you bite one of your nails, thinking about the situation you’ve gotten yourself into. “Actually, if he does call, I’d also appreciate it if you didn’t tell him you knew me either. I’m sure he’s a nice guy but…”
“Hey,” Steve stood up and placed a hand on your arm, “It’s cool. You didn’t know Eddie before, and you barely know him now. I think Robin just meant that you could get to know him more since he is our friend. He’s gonna get out of prison eventually and we promised him that we’d just continue on like how things were before.”
“But,” you look at Steve with worry in your expression, “being in prison that long can change a person.”
“Eddie is too stubborn to let anything break him of being himself. He didn’t repeat his senior year twice because he’s dumb. He did it because he was too busy with what he wanted to do to bother with his schoolwork.”
“Actually,” Robin says, “he said prison is easier because he gets three meals a day and doesn’t have to do math, so…”
“But,” Steve gets your attention again, “My point is that you don’t have to go out of your comfort zone to be his friend for our sake if you don’t want to. Just keep talking to him on your own and see how you feel.”
You swear these two really were the only good people in Hawkins. 
“Yeah, okay,” you nodded,” I’ll keep writing him, but I won’t mention that I know you two. Not yet at least.”
November 27th, 1994
Ever since your talk with Robin and Steve, your nightmares have changed. Now that you have a face to the name they’re not really nightmares anymore. Instead of a nameless, faceless voice at your door, you can see him through the peephole. He’s not knocking on your door with rage, but out of desperation. Still begging to be let in, but the lock is on his side. You hold the key in your hand, you just have to slide it under the door…
A sharp, grating ring wakes you from your sleep, eyes shooting open and taking in the room around you. The sun peaks from behind your bedroom curtains, the light just bright enough to pester the hangover migraine that’s already in full effect. You have to strain to get your eyes to focus on the numbers on your alarm clock that read just past noon. 
The continuous ringing of the phone finally throttles you out of bed and into your kitchen. When you pick up the phone you hear Steve on the other end. 
“Oh, good, you lived,” he exclaims, “Robin, she’s still alive!”
A muffled, “oh thank god” comes from the background in the receiver. You hadn’t anticipated being so emotional the night before, thinking you were past feeling sorry for yourself that you were alone on a holiday while your bastard ex had someone keeping your side of the bed warm every night.
All the emotions came up at Steve’s during dinner. It was just the three of you there, all with broken families. They had other friends who were home for the holidays, but they were doing their own thing this weekend. Robin and Steve insisted that you join in on the festivities but you declined, using not knowing them as an excuse.
Really you just wanted some alone time. Time to yourself, to let yourself feel whatever you need to feel without having to mask in front of strangers, brush off any awkwardness if the topic of your failed marriage were to arise. 
You think Robin and Steve could tell that you were in your own head. They suggested taking you out to the only dive bar in town still open on the holiday, and assuming the place would be pretty dead, you said fuck it and all piled into Steve’s car. Sharing drinks and playing pool while metal music that made you think of your pen pal. You wondered what he was doing as you stepped outside to smoke a cigarette you bummed off an older, balding guy sitting at the bar. 
After drinking so much that Robin had to drive your car home for you, their phone call really didn’t come as a surprise to you. 
“Yes, god, I’m alive. Don’t yell into the phone, please.” You pinch the bridge of your nose to try and relieve some of the tension. The phone call is brief, Steve just wanting to check in on you and confirm that you didn’t want to participate in their outing. 
“We’re going ice skating! And if you can’t skate, our friend Max would enjoy having someone sit on the sidelines with her.”
“Sorry, Steve,” you press your forehead against the cool wood of the door frame, “I’m sure everyone is very nice, but I’m just not feeling up to it.”
After a few cups of coffee and a long shower, you settle on your couch, flipping through the channels on the tv for something to watch and settling on a Beverly Hills: 90210 rerun marathon. It didn’t take you long to lose interest and you began fidgeting for something else to keep your mind from wandering into dangerous territory. 
Out of the corner of your eye, you see your work bag on the floor at the end of your couch. The memory of tripping and knocking the bag over last night comes back to you, making you internally cringe at yourself. You grab the bag and see that the contents were an unorganized mess compared to how you normally keep it. The longer you looked the crazier it made you feel, so you carefully took the papers and folders out, laying them in front of you. 
When you picked up your first period folder, the familiar envelope that you had forgotten a week ago fell out, landing in your lap. You quickly pick it up and open it, remembering that you hadn't even had the chance to properly finish reading it. 
Something about seeing the letter again made you feel good. As you look at the artwork, you see the picture of the shirts his club members wore and smile as you realize he made the shirts himself. 
You reread the description of himself and can laugh because he must have worn the same thing every day, recalling the holes in his jeans and his battle vest from his pictures. It was hard to imagine the wild mane of hair he had being cut short. Do they get conditioner in prison? Because his hair must be a mess without it. 
Finally, you get to the part of the letter you hadn’t read. You felt your heart beating in your chest, an anxiousness building that you couldn’t explain. 
“I’m running low on space to write and I don’t know when I’ll hear from you again, but I just wanted to ask-“
You’re thrown off when you see two lines of the letter have been blacked out with a black marker or sharpie. There’s no way to make out what was written, and the last line is just him wishing you a “happy whatever holiday you celebrate,” his real signature greeting you at the very bottom of the page. “What the hell?” You asked the empty apartment. The first assumption that comes to mind is that Eddie must have messed up what he was going to write and decided to black it out since he wrote in pen. Or maybe he wanted to write more, but realized he was running out of space? That would go with your theory that they are limited in the paper they can get. 
There’s also the possibility he said something inappropriate and whoever checks the letters made him redact it. That was probably the least likely, but it makes you laugh to think about. Robin and Steve brought him up a few times while you were drinking and gave him the highest praises. But, you never know what someone would be willing to say or do when they’ve been touch starved for almost 5 years.
Butterflies invade your stomach when you think about it more. He’s probably had to take care of himself quite a bit while he’s been locked up. Where does one even do that in prison without prying eyes?
Your thighs clench together at the image you’ve conjured in your head. Steve had shown you some pictures of Eddie that he found from not too long before he went to prison. Sure, he resembled his yearbook picture, thin and lanky he once was. But the picture of him and Steve at a lake, both of them shirtless and clearly soaking wet, displayed muscles that he had likely gained from the mechanic job Robin mentioned he had. The tattoos that he had on his body were taking over, almost covering one of his arms completely. 
The image of soaked curly hairs clinging to his face as he’s leaning into a shower wall comes to the forefront of your mind. Toned arms flexing as he holds himself against the wall with one hand, stroking himself with the other. You imagined his hands were rough and calloused from playing guitar and working on cars. He was long and hard as he pumped himself, water dripping off the tip with each down stroke. God, you can only imagine his face as he cums, a loud groan falling from his lips as he spills onto the shower floor, calling your name…
You throw yourself into the couch cushion next to you and physically cringe. Where the hell did that come from? Was this the result of your dry spell since you left Henry? A guy that you’ve never even met before gives you a little attention and your brain automatically goes into the gutter. Sitting up, you rub your face in your hands in an attempt to keep the scenario from replaying in your mind. At least you had successfully distracted yourself from the self pity you were wallowing in. 
You roll onto your back, holding up the letter in your hand. You admire the artwork, the sloppy handwriting. A person wrote this letter. Someone who did something illegal and paid the price for it. Someone who is very loved and has an uncle waiting for him somewhere in this town, and friends who would do anything for him. And now, he’s writing you letters, and you wonder if he is feeling the same way that you are starting to feel…what are you feeling, exactly?
Sitting up from the couch, you grab a pen and paper from your bag.
“Hello Eddie” no.
“Hey, stranger” no.
“What’s up!” definitely not.
Another balled up paper tossed to the ground. 
“Dear Eddie,” sure why not, “I hope you are having a wonderful holiday season yourself. Hopefully your uncle can come and see you for whatever you celebrate. If not, at least a phone call would be nice. Does the prison give you anything special for the holidays? Like a turkey for Thanksgiving, ham for Christmas, the traditional stuff. I spent the holiday with-”
Steve and Robin. You know them! I know who you are, too. Totally not weird, right?
“-my friends. They called it “Friendsgiving,” I think it had something to do with a TV show. None of us like to cook, so we ended up just picking up stuff at the store and then going out to a local bar. I’m writing this letter the next day, a little hungover I have to admit. But, writing this letter has helped distract me from the migraine I’m trying to stave off. It’s been very busy at school lately with projects, exams, a choir…thing? All that means for me is that I have mountains of paperwork to grade, and I spent the last month trying to get kids to turn in anything missing. It’s like trying to get squirrels to stay in a basket.
Winter break is just around the corner, though. Which means two weeks of getting to sleep in late, watching terrible TV reruns, and using the cold weather as an excuse to stay inside. Although, I think my friends will manage to get me out of my apartment one way or another. I feel like a cat who was adopted by two dogs who share the same brain cell. But, they have helped me a lot over the last couple of months so I owe it to them to be their voice of reason sometimes.”
You pause and have a laugh to yourself. You think about all the ridiculous adventures the two of them have taken you on in the last few months, doing things that you would never have done before Henry. They’ve taken the hard metal bones out of your binding and started loosening the strings. You wonder if you would have even said yes to doing this letter thing if you hadn’t already had your boundaries pushed a little.
“I hope this isn’t too much to ask, but do you have any big plans for when you get out? Places you want to go? Food you want to try? People you want to see?”
You smile when you dot the last question mark. It feels sneaky to ask when you know that your meeting is inevitable, and there is a small voice in your ear telling you that he wouldn’t want to meet you. You’re boring. Simple. Dull. Only shades of grey fill your wardrobe, your heart, where there was once colour. Broken.
The new bottle of wine you got at the gas station stares at you from the kitchen.
Anyway.
“Hopefully you’re able to get out in time for the summer. Wouldn’t it be nice to walk outside as a free man and get to feel the sun on your skin? I think Hawkins is having a Rose festival again next year. There could be some inspiration there for you for your art, and if not, the funnel cakes are worth the admission price. Everything else is overpriced, but what isn’t nowadays?”
Filling the last bit of the back of the page, you felt it only fair to give a few details about yourself. Just a general description, nothing too revealing. Not that there was much to give away since becoming a professional educator has taken any creative freedom from your sense of style. You did tell him that on the weekends you treated yourself by wearing comfy clothes all day. You didn’t tell him that you only felt okay to do that recently, since your ex husband always expected you to look your best.
As you reached the bottom, you remembered the redacted section of his last letter. Do should you ask about it? Would he even be able to tell you? You went ahead and brought it up.
“Before I close this letter, I am curious to know why the last bit of your letter had been marked out. I can only imagine what you could have asked that it had to be taken out. I hope it wasn’t inappropriate, Mr.Banished.” You added a little “ha ha” in parentheses so he knew you were just joking, careful once again not to offend.
“Looking forward to your next letter,”
You signed your name, fighting the urge to draw a heart next to it like the girls in your class writing notes to their crush. There was no way that feeling like this for someone that you’ve only had correspondence through letters and the bit of hype from your mutual friends can be healthy. Grabbing the box of greeting cards that you had sat on the coffee table, you wrote some well wishes and folded your letter to fit within the confines of the red envelope. You took a look at it for the first time since Bridges had handed them over and your heart dropped. 
In one of the ethics classes you took in college a classmate did a presentation on Pendleton Prison. It had just come out the year before that there had been an abuse of power and prisoners were basically being tortured. It was hard to observe but informative. You couldn’t even imagine something like that happening to Eddie. You wondered if the reason they were participating in this program to begin with was to help with their reputation. We’ll let them talk to some kids and it will seem like we’re not abusing our inmates.
You look at the wine bottle again.
It’s fine. If Eddie was going through something like that, surely he would have told Steve and Robin, his uncle. But you wanted to be sure. You walk into your kitchen.
December 25th, 1994
“…You can say hello when you see me. You don't have to be afraid. There's a lot of things going around about me, but none of it's true. Okay?”
Your eyes flutter open, and you quickly close them when the harsh light of your tv playing Home Alone was too bright. Another dream about Eddie had taken over your mind in your sleep. You sit back to the door, the key in your hand. He doesn’t push you anymore, says to only give the key if you want to. That he enjoys your company no matter what. 
Sigh.
As you sit up from the couch where you had dozed off the night before, you decide to make a cup of coffee and ring your brother. 
“I could have come to get you. And brought you back. You know I don’t mind-“
“No, no, it’s okay, really. You have your own family now, I don’t want to dampen the mood,” you say as if you mean it. Coffee swishes around in your mug as you talk. It was true that your brother had a family of his own and was living the American dream. You liked that he invited you to be part of that, but you just couldn’t get past the notion that everyone would just look at you with pity. You’d rather be alone
Steve and Robin also invited you to Colorado with them. Steve’s parents had a house in Aspen where they were hosting Christmas this year. Steve insisted his parents wouldn’t care if you tagged along since they started to become fond of Robin. As much as seeing the beautiful snow covered mountains of Colorado sounds like a great reprieve for your mind, you still lied and told them you were going to your brothers. What they didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them. 
The sound of Kevin McCallister’s hijinks in New York got your attention. The movie distracted you for a while, until it didn’t. You watched the tv -- well, rather you looked at it for until you stood up, deciding to get out of the house, even if just to drive around.
The movie-esque scenery of small town Hawkins covered in snow was quiet and still, say for the few cars that you passed likely on the way to see family, traveling between houses. Something you and Henry did to make things fair for both of you. Your mom’s house first, then his parents.
Cars sat outside the Hideout, piquing your interest as you watched a man get out of a pick up truck and walk inside. It was close enough to five o'clock that you decided to pull into the lot, pulling into a spot by the door. Inside you were surprised to see it fairly occupied, mostly by men who looked like they worked at the factory in town or drove the big rig that was parked on the side of the building. The patrons seemed to talk amongst themselves, some semblance of holiday cheer keeping their spirits alive as their glasses clanked and boisterous laughs filled the air.
Sliding into an empty bar stool, you grabbed your purse to get your ID and some cash. 
“Ain’t ya little young to be sittin’ alone at a bar on Christmas?”
You looked up from your purse at the man sitting next to you at the bar. He sipped from his glass, cigarette smoke seeping from his lips, attention set on nothing in particular. He was an older man, bald on top and plenty of aging on his face, but you had the feeling he was younger than he looked. Some of his features felt familiar to you but you weren’t sure why.
“Um, well, I guess so,” you stutter as you set your purse down between your feet. “But, uh, I really didn’t want to spend Christmas alone.”
A hum and a nod, “I guess loneliness knows no age.” He huffed a laugh before getting the bartender's attention. “What are you drinking?”
“Oh, no, please, you don’t-” you begin to protest, but he puts his hand up and waves you off.
“Trust me,” he takes a long drag from his cigarette, “I would be buying it for someone else if they could be here.”
Ah. You tell the bartender your order and the man tells him to put it on his tab. 
“Thank you,” you give him a genuine smile, turning towards him to speak as the bar patrons become louder. You paused for a beat before speaking again, “I’m sorry you’re alone today.”
“Makes no difference to me really, just another day to me,” he takes a sip of his beer. You almost miss it, but you see the flash of a smile on his face. 
“Just another day, huh,” you say smugly, dipping your head into his line of vision. He must have realized he was smiling because he covered his hand with his mouth shyly, the motion a contradiction to his hard exterior. Clearing his throat, he sat up in his seat, opening from his hunched position to talk with you properly.
“It’s just another day, always been to me, but,” He looks at you for a moment, then back down into his beer, “I used to celebrate, for my boy. Haven’t gotten to do that properly in a while. I’m hopin’ this year will be the last, that next year will be different.”
His endearment made your eyes misty. “That’s so sweet,” you coo, putting a hand on coat covered arm, “I’m sure things will work out.” You pull back when your drink is dropped off, quickly taking a few sips. 
The man watches you, his head shaking in your peripherals. “So, what’s really got ya out here celebrating with Hawkins finest? Besides the, uh,” he gestures vaguely, “cheerful atmosphere.”
You stay quiet for a moment, eyes focused on the straw floating in your drink. Deep breath in, and out. “Do you want the half truth or the full truth?”
His body bounces from a chuckle, “I got a little time.”
Pouring your heart out to a stranger over drinks felt therapeutic, and not in the same way as talking to Robin and Steve. He just listened, nodded his head, grunted in what you assume to be agreement. This man, who looks like he hasn’t taken a day off in his life, made you feel more valid with no words at all than anyone else has in your entire life besides your own mother.
“And now I’m, like, kinda into this guy, but he doesn’t know I exist,” your words are a little slurred as you take down another drink. “Sorry, no, he knows I exist, but he knows nothing about me. Like, he knows some things, but he doesn’t really know me, ya know?”
His head bobs up and down, takes another drag of his cigarette.
“I feel weird feeling this way, because I would never have even considered a guy like him before. Henry, I told you about Henry, he was super uppity, snotty. A real tight ass. But, this guy is funny. Genuine, and his friends talk him up. Who wouldn’t fall for a guy like that? Even if he is rough around the edges.”
“Well, if it doesn’t work out with you and this guy, I outta introduce you to my nephew. He was always picked on in school for being different, but he’s a good kid. Just got into the wrong stuff,” the mans face sunk a bit, “My fault really.”
You tilt your head in confusion, “How so?”
“Heart attack. Had one while at work. Stayed in the hospital for a few, got the bill and almost had another one,” he chuckles at that. “I wasn’t even gonna tell ‘em, but he came over to visit and I forgot about it. Saw it sittin’ on the counter. Next thing I know he’s callin’ me sayin’ he’s booked on ‘possession with intent to distribute’. Buncha bull for some grass.” He put his cigarette out with a harsh stab. “But, he’ll be good soon. My deadbeat brother’s been keepin’ an eye on him in there and he’s been keeping his good behavior streak.”
“He sounds like a good kid,” you rest your cheek against the cool counter as you smile up at him.
“Yeah, he is.” His smile reaches his eyes, and so does yours.
“Well, gotta go, darlin’,” he slaps a couple bills on the counter and nods to the bartender, “Excpectin’ a call here soon. Get you some pretzels or somethin’ before ya take off.”
“Thank you,” your brows come together, “sorry, I don’t think I ever caught your name?”
“Names Wayne.”
“Nice to meet you, Wayne.”
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thanks for reading.
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Pedro Pascal - VARIETY STUDIO: ACTORS ON ACTORS
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me @ y/n when they do something i’d never do:
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like babe this isn’t us ?? get it together
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Bad For Business
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Steve Harrington x fem!reader An enemies to lovers AU. Join the team at the Upside Down Arcade, where the machines eat your quarters and the staff have some personal issues. Stay tuned for the Pick Your Own Adventure polls to progress in the story.
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G A M E O V E R
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xjes ¡ 1 year
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it's a feeling that's fine - s.h.
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Summary: You accidentally climb the wrong fence on the hottest day of May. It turns out to be the best thing that's ever happened to you.
Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader
Word count: 10.6k
Warnings/tags: no use of y/n, no physical descriptions, etc. reader is in a toxic friendship; she's slightly bullied in that indirect mean girl way, but the toxic friendship ends. reader cuts her finger by accident. drinking and drug mentions. fluff, humor, strangers to friends to lovers, summer vibes, so many princess bride references. steve is super duper sweet!!! post s4 volume 2.
A/N: so if you wondered where i've been for the last two months.... it was in a cave writing this fic. i'm really proud of this one; the reader is a little different than how i usually write, but i hope you'll like her all the same :) if you enjoy this fic, please please let me know through comments/reblogs!
divider by firefly-graphics
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Today is hot. 
Weatherman Dale had said this morning that today is a record high for May. It’s so hot, in fact, that Debbie Wellerman had called you this morning asking if you wanted to come swim in her pool. 
You’d asked if you could dig for worms in her yard. She’d sighed and hung up. You hope that means yes. Joan has been in need of some company. Worms would be good for her.
You go around Debbie’s house and stop at the back gate. The Wellermans are kind of mean and they don’t like it when you take too many cucumber sandwiches. To avoid them, you’ve taken to going through the back gate whenever Debbie invites you over. It works pretty well.
Except today, the gate is locked. Which is weird, because Debbie usually leaves it open. It’s how her boyfriend, Brett, sneaks in during the day, and how Brett’s brother, Chet, sneaks in at night. 
You’d asked once why the brothers come over separately. Debbie had gotten mad and kicked you out without giving you any ice cream. You don’t ask about Brett and Chet anymore.
The problem is that you’re wearing flip flops, which are not ideal for climbing fences. Or anything, really. You once climbed a jungle gym in flip flops and skinned both knees. 
You slip off your flip flops and fling them over the fence. They land a second later, clapping against the ground. The fence is covered in climbing ivy and tiny red flowers you’ve never seen before. You wonder how Debbie made them grow so fast.
The street is empty, which is nice. Sometimes people in Loch Nora like to yell at people who don’t also live in Loch Nora. 
The fence wood is hot but not so hot that you can’t touch it. You stick your feet in the little grooves and start to climb. It’s not too high of a fence, but it’s high enough to warn people who don’t belong here.
That’s never stopped you, though.
Getting over is trickier. You expect Debbie to see you by now, but there’s no sound. She must be inside, or maybe she’s out and forgot she’s invited you. She does that sometimes.
Wood dust clings to your fingers and the soles of your feet. When you’re a foot from the ground, you hop down. Then you turn.
There’s no sign of Debbie. There is, however, a boy.
He’s reclined on an inflatable blue ring floaty in the middle of the pool. He wears sunglasses and red board shorts with little white anchors on them. 
He has very pretty hair, both on his head and chest. He also has pretty lips. And arms. All of him is pretty, really. You wish you could see his face properly. He probably has a nice face too. Symmetrical and kind.
The area around the pool is paved just like at Debbie’s—only it’s a lot larger than you remember. There's a patch of dirt next to the gate. You go and crouch at the edge. You don't see any worms. Probably because it's so hot. You'd stay underground too if you were a worm.
You stand and turn to look at the boy again. He looks like he might be asleep. 
“Did Debbie invite you?” you ask.
The boy shoots up from the floaty. The shift in weight makes him lose his balance and he topples into the water a moment later. The floaty flips with him. 
He resurfaces almost immediately, spitting water and rubbing chlorine from his eyes. You squint.
Yes, you were right. He does have a very nice face.
The water comes up to his waist. He pushes his hair back in handfuls, blinking. Then he fishes his sunglasses out with his foot and sets them on his head. 
“Can you swim?” you ask.
He stares at you, blinking.
“What?” he says after a beat. 
“Can you swim?” you repeat.
“Uh, yeah? Yes, of course I can swim.”
"It would be bad luck if you couldn’t.”
His brows furrow.
“Because I can't swim,” you clarify.
“I wouldn’t be in the pool if I couldn’t swim,” he says.
“That’s good thinking.”
You sit at the edge of the pool and dip your calves in. He wades closer until he’s about three feet away.
“How did you get here?” he asks.
“I walked.”
“I mean, how did you get in my backyard?”
“Oh. I climbed the fence.” 
You peer closer. He looks familiar, but you can’t quite place him. 
“Are you Brett and Chet’s triplet?” you ask. “You’re a lot prettier than them. Did their mother feed you extra vitamins?"
His eyes go wide. “Uh… Brett and Chet Kingsley?”
“Uh-huh. Debbie invites both of them over, but never at the same time.”
“Who's—they don’t have a triplet.”
“That’s good. Three’s bad luck.”
“My house number has a three in it,” he says.
“Don’t step on any sidewalk cracks,” you warn.
He tilts his head, tongue poking out like he’s sizing you up. You let him, focusing on his face instead. He has dark, warm eyes the color of black tea. His shoulders are toned with lots of freckles on them. He looks like a boy who’d like Debbie, not you. 
“Is Debbie going to be back soon?” you ask. You don’t want to get attached to a boy who’ll just end up wanting Debbie instead. You've made that mistake before.
“Um… if you’re talking about Debbie Wellerman, she lives on the next block over. I’m Steve Harrington.”
“Oh. You’re the guy who fought the monsters.”
He eyes you warily. “Wh—how do you know about the monsters?”
"Who doesn't?" 
Steve opens his mouth, then closes it. 
“You can’t tell anyone," he finally says. 
You shrug and kick at the water gently.
“I have no one to tell. Debbie doesn’t believe in monsters.”
“She doesn’t believe in giving you a key either, huh?”
“She doesn’t usually lock her gate,” you say. 
“Well, this isn’t her gate.”
“Yeah. I like your shorts.”
Steve’s cheeks flush pink. 
“Are you getting sunstroke?” you ask. 
That turns his cheeks pinker. 
“No, no." He coughs. "I’m fine.”
“It’s a record high temperature for May,” you say. “That’s what Weatherman Dale said. The highest it's ever been since 1923." 
“Yeah, I heard." He nods. "I didn’t wanna run the AC the whole day so, here I am. My friend Robin was supposed to come over, but I guess she bailed.”
“Robin is a nice name. Is she a bird?”
Steve smiles. “No, she’s a girl.”
“Oh. I thought maybe she was a bird you’d made friends with while fighting monsters.”
“Well.” Steve shrugs. “I did sort of make friends with her while fighting monsters.”
“Robins are good omens. They bring luck."
“Huh.”
You swallow. You’re probably talking too much. That’s what Debbie would say. That’s why boys sneak into her yard and not yours. 
"So." Steve puts a hand over his forehead to block the sun. "Debbie Wellerman, huh? You don't seem like the type to be her friend."
"Friends can come from the most unusual places," you say. "Like under a tree or at the bottom of the ocean."
"Have you made many friends at the bottom of the ocean?" Steve asks with a smile. 
You hesitate. Is he making fun of you? Sometimes, you can't tell. The people in Loch Nora are good at making fun of you without you knowing. 
Steve’s hair has already begun to dry, a little crunchy from the chlorine. He doesn’t look like he’s making fun of you.
"Not many. But that's where I found Joan," you say.
"Joan was at the bottom of the ocean?"
"Kind of. I found her in a pond. Then I found her sister, but I lost her at sea and I couldn't swim out to rescue her. It was a sad day. Joan didn't handle it well."
Steve's brows rise. "Wow. I'm sorry."
"It's okay. Joan has been on the incline. I think she's finally ready to get back out there. I wanted to find her company, but I didn't want to disturb your dirt." 
“My dirt?”
“Mmhm. I'm trying to make a social club for her."
"Out of dirt?"
"Out of worms."
"Huh."
Steve rests his chin on his arm that's perched on the ledge. 
"Your hair is wavy," you observe. 
"What? Oh, yeah. I didn't put anything in it."
"Like what? Secrets?"
"No, like, gel. Product."
You nod in realization. "Your hair was so big in school.”
Steve winces. "Yeah. Sorry, I wasn't the best guy back then."
"You were in your chrysalis. You needed time to grow. But then you turned into a butterfly. Or a moth, if you prefer."
"Moths are spooky," says Steve. "They look like they have eyes on their wings."
"Yes. But they're actually friendly. Unless you eat them. Some are poisonous." You lean in, deadly serious. "Don't eat moths."
"Will do."
"No, don't. And warn your Robin too. She might think one looks delicious and meet her doom."
A smile creeps onto Steve's face. 
"You're kind of strange," he says. "In the best way possible."
"Thank you."
"Do you want some lemonade?" 
"Is it poisoned?" 
"What?" Steve startles. "No, of course not."
"No, I suppose not," you say thoughtfully. "You hadn't expected me to climb over your gate, so you wouldn't have had time to poison the lemonade."
Steve stacks one arm atop his other, looking up at you. The ends of his hair have begun to curl. You like it so much. 
"What if I pour from the pitcher right in front of you? Will that make you feel better?" he asks. 
"You can still put something in my glass," you say. "Or you might have built a tolerance to the poison for this exact moment. Like in The Princess Bride."
"I'm only twenty-one. I would've had to start very young to build a tolerance. Besides, what would be my motivation to poison you?"
You shake your head. "There's no need for motivation. Violent delights. But you've fought monsters, and Lucas Sinclair says you're a good guy. So, yes, I will have some lemonade."
Steve pushes himself out of the pool with ease, dripping water all over the concrete. You stare at the rivulets that hurry down his legs and chest. He has a lot of hair everywhere. You like that too.
He offers his hand and you take it, letting him pull you to your feet. Your shoulder bumps his. Steve's skin is warm. He smells like chlorine and something sweeter. Pineapple, maybe. 
"You would do very well as a knight," you say. "If I were a princess, I'd want you to commit yourself to me."
Steve makes a weird noise in his throat. 
"Uh, th-thanks," he says. 
"You're welcome."
"So you, uh, know Lucas?"
"Yes. He lives on my block. His mom gives me rides sometimes."
You step in through the sliding glass door, which puts you directly in the kitchen. The house is at least twenty degrees cooler. You shiver at the sudden temperature change. 
"You don't have a car?" Steve asks. 
"No."
"You walked from your house to Loch Nora?"
"I took the bus part of the way. Then I walked."
Steve takes two glasses down from the shelf. Then he opens the refrigerator. You sit at the large kitchen island while he pours. 
"Debbie Wellerman has a car," Steve says. 
"Uh-huh. A Porsche."
A money car, she'd called it when she got it for her sixteenth birthday. Boys love girls with money cars. Maybe that's why boys don't love you. 
Steve hands you a glass. You take a long sip. Your mouth puckers and you scrunch your eyes shut as the acid coats your tongue.
"Shit. Not enough sugar?"
You swallow and open your eyes. 
"It's wonderful, Steve," you say earnestly. 
"You don't have to lie. I saw your mouth screw up."
"I'm not lying. It's the right amount of sour." 
Steve takes his own sip. His lips pucker, and he shakes his head.
"Nope. Definitely needs more sugar."
You cradle your glass in your hands. "Don't take mine. She's perfect."
Steve breathes a laugh, returning the pitcher to the fridge. He sits beside you on the island. He's already developing a slight tan. You wonder if more freckles appear the longer he's in the sun. 
"Why doesn't Debbie pick you up?" he asks. 
"Why would she pick me up?" 
"Because that's what nice friends do. And it's unfair to expect you to come all the way here when the buses don't go through Loch Nora."
"Debbie always expects me to come over," you say. "So I do. She doesn't like my house."
Steve frowns deeply. 
"I don't mind the walk," you offer, trying to make him smile again. 
It doesn't work. Steve takes another sip. His lips purse, red like cherry candy and shiny with lemonade. 
"She should meet you halfway more often," he says, dumping his lemonade into the sink. 
You trace shapes into the condensation of your glass. 
"I wanted to go rollerblading," you say. "But…"
"But what?" he prompts. 
"She didn't. Neither did Brett. They wanted to make out in the pool.”
Steve grimaces. “Sounds like a drag.”
“They make weird noises. Like goats at the zoo.”
Steve snorts. You smile and kick your legs, pleased.
“My friends go rollerblading,” he says. “The kids love to skate at the park. You could come with us one day.”
“You have kids?”
“No, I—” Steve shakes his head, chuckling. “Definitely not. No, they’re only a few years younger than me, but me and the other people our age call them kids. They’re part of our little monster-fighting group. Anyway, uh, y'know. Open invite. If you're ever tired of goat noises."
You stare at him for a minute. He seems nervous, and you can't make out why. Nobody's ever nervous around you.
"Okay," you say. "I'd like to meet your kids."
"Cool. Well, um, I can give you my number. We usually meet up on weekends, but once school ends, any day is game."
Your heart rate picks up. You know this part. Only from a distance, of course. But you know what it means when a boy gives a girl his number. 
“You want me to call you?” you ask.
“Yeah. I mean, if you want to. I feel like it’s a little forward for me to ask the girl who climbed my fence for her number. So, um, you can call me. Is that cool?”
Steve looks at you and waits. You chew your lip and nod.
“That’s okay.”
He smiles. “Great! I think I have a pen around here somewhere…”
Steve walks around the table to a stationary caddy on the counter and takes out a blue Sharpie. You stick out your arm, palm up. 
"Uh…" He looks at you. "I can find a notepad."
"This helps me memorize things better," you say and wiggle your fingers. 
"I don't wanna give you ink poisoning."
"You didn't poison me before. You're not very good at it."
"Isn't that a good thing?"
You shrug. "Depends on your aspirations."
Steve hesitates for another second. Then he takes the top of your forearm and begins to write on the soft underside. He writes slowly, which tickles, but you remain still. 
He's so close. You're reminded all over again of his hands and warmth and pineapple scent. 
Steve caps the marker. You inspect the writing. 
"Good penmanship," you say. 
"Think so? Robin says it's chicken scratch. But she can't talk—hers is ten times worse."
"It's neat," you say. "But not serial-killer neat. If I were a graphologist, I would give you the all clear."
"Graphologist?"
"A handwriting expert. I would write in my report, 'not a murderer.'"
"Well, that's a relief," Steve says. "I try to keep the murdering to a minimum."
You hum and finish your lemonade in one gulp.
“Thank you for not poisoning me."
“Yeah, you’re welcome,” Steve replies through a smile. 
His smile makes you nervous. A good nervous, though, like you're about to sled down a big hill. 
You push yourself off the stool. Steve gets up with you and opens the sliding glass door for you.
“A very stalwart knight,” you say, and walk over to where your flip flops are.
You throw them back over the gate. They land with a clack on the sidewalk.
You find your footholds on the gate and turn to look at Steve.
“It was nice to meet you, Steve Harrington. Don’t fight any monsters by yourself.”
“Whoa, hang on!” He jogs over and lightly touches your arm. It sears your skin like you've been kissed by the sun himself. “I’ll unlock the gate. You don’t need to… climb again.”
Steve pulls the latch next to you. The gate creaks open. You hop off and walk through. 
Steve leans against the gate, elbow bent. His bicep bulges. You've never been this close to a shirtless boy. Your stomach flips. 
“Are you sure you know where Debbie lives?” he asks.
Your eyes dart from his chest to his face. 
“Yes.”
“Really? ‘Cause you didn’t exactly find it the first time.”
“Second time’s the charm,” you say.
“I thought it was the third time.”
“No. Three’s bad luck, remember?”
Steve runs his tongue under his molars, once again staring at you like he’s trying to solve a puzzle. You slip into your sandals while he figures you out.
“Well, um. You can come back if you get lost. Or you need help. Or you wanna look for rocks."
You tilt your head. “You’d look for rocks with me?”
“I don’t know how helpful I’d be—all rocks look the same to me. My friends would probably be better at it than me. But, yeah, I would.”
“Okay. Thank you for your hospitality.”
He grins. “Sure thing.”
You take his hand and shake it. It’s warm and slightly calloused. You wonder if he holds girls’ hands often.
"I hope Robin finds your house," you say. "Goodbye, Steve Harrington."
Then you go.
You do find Debbie’s house on the second try. You hide your Sharpie'd arm behind your back when you enter. Debbie doesn’t ask why you’re late. Brett doesn’t acknowledge you, and you wonder how you mistook Steve for his brother. 
“There’s lemonade,” Debbie says as she heads in, Brett at her heels.
You don’t drink any. You know it won’t be the right amount of sour. 
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Movies are better in the summer. This is a fact you've learned to accept. 
There's no dread of the cold after you finish a movie in the summer. The tape ends and you can go outside and still love the real world. 
Sorry, we're on a break! the sign on the store window reads in loopy script. You sit on the hot curb in front of Family Video, your yellow shorts bunched around your thighs. Sweat sticks to the back of your neck, and you drag a hand across, then wipe your fingers on your shirt. 
From here, you can just see the cement-filled cracks in the asphalt, where the earthquake split the main road two years ago. Because of the cracks, the bus stops three blocks from the plaza, so you'd walked three blocks in the heat. 
You hadn't been lying to Steve, though. You really don't mind the walk. 
Beads of sweat drip down your forehead. One slips into your eye and burns. You make a fist and press it into your eyelid.
Okay. Maybe you mind a little.
"Hey, neighbor!"
You look up, squinting through the sun. Lucas Sinclair waves at you. You wave back. A girl with two red braids is next to him. 
"Hi, Lucas," you say, standing as they approach you on the curb. 
"This is my girlfriend, Max," he introduces proudly. 
"My congratulations. Getting a girlfriend is no easy feat."
Max studies you for a moment. "I think I should get the credit, considering I said yes." 
"Undoubtedly," you say. 
"Are you his neighbor?" she asks. 
"Yes. Lucas is an outstanding neighbor. You should be very proud of him." 
"I believe it," says Max. 
"What are you doing?" Lucas asks. 
"Lots of things," you say. "Breathing, digesting. But presently, I'm waiting for the video store to reopen. I want to rent The Princess Bride.”
Max snorts. "Good luck with that. Those two take five hour lunch breaks now, ever since Keith moved away. It's barely a business anymore."
"There must be a lot of courses in their lunch," you muse. 
"Yeah… uh, we're going to get ice cream. Wanna join?" asks Lucas.
"Okay." You turn to Max. "Will my presence impede your special plans?"
Max squints. "Special plans? Like what?"
"I don't know. Perhaps you've written Lucas a series of sonnets to profess your love."
"A series of what?"
"Poems."
"Love poems are corny," she says. 
You wonder if Steve would agree. 
"Sometimes corny things are good. When they come from the right person," you say. 
Max acquiesces with a hum. 
"No love poems today," she says. "You should join us."
So you follow a couple steps behind them to the Baskin-Robbins down the block. 
The AC whooshes as you step inside, drying your sweat to your forehead. 
“Wow,” Max says with a scoff. “It’s like Starcourt all over again.”
You follow her gaze and spot Steve. 
Oh. Steve.
He's in a green Family Video vest. A girl sits across from him, wearing a matching vest. She has cropped hair and a bandaid on one knee. 
“Hey, losers!” Max calls. “This isn’t a lunch break.”
The girl flips her off. “The sign says we’re taking a break. It doesn’t specify how long of a break.”
Lucas orders a scoop of strawberry ice cream for himself and a scoop of cookies and cream for Max. 
“Yeah, plus, we’ve had a grand total of one customer today,” Steve adds.
“Well, you would’ve had two if you hadn’t been here on your seventeen hour break,” Max shoots back.
He scoffs. “Oh, really? Who?”
“Can I get one scoop of rocky road ice cream with oreo crumble and gummy worms in a cup?” you ask the cashier. 
She goes to scoop the ice cream. Max proudly points at you. 
“Her,” she says with a smirk. “She wanted to rent The Princess Bride, and now she’s not gonna be a paying customer ‘cause you two are lazy.”
“I would still be a paying customer,” you say.
Max shakes her head at you.
“I’m trying to make a point,” she whispers.
“Oh. You’re doing great."
“Your total is three twenty-four,” the cashier says, sticking a spoon into your cup. 
The sound of a chair being dragged across the floor draws your attention. Steve is up, trying to free his leg from under the table. He finally wiggles free and jogs to the counter, wallet in hand.
"Hi,” he says. "I can pay." 
“But I have money,” you say, brows knitting.
“No, I know. I—now you can save your money. Do you–do you mind if I pay for you?”
“Will I have to pay you back?” you ask.
“Oh my God,” the cashier mutters under her breath.
You shrink at her tone. You've missed something, evidently. You have no clue what. 
Steve glances at her, mouth pinching. 
“No,” he says gently, turning back to you. “You don’t have to pay me back. It’s a gesture. As a friend.”
“Oh. Okay.” 
Steve gives her the money. You take your ice cream. 
“Smooth,” you hear Max say to Steve. He bumps her arm with his elbow.
Steve pulls a chair from another table for you. You all sit down.
"This is, uh…" Steve trails off, turning to you. "I'm sorry, I never got your name."
"You kept calling her Buttercup," the girl says. 
Steve whips his head around to hiss at her. 
"Robin." 
"She's my neighbor," Lucas says. 
"We know," Max tells him. 
"I don't." Robin raises her hand briefly, shooing Steve away. "I'm Robin Buckley."
"Hi, Robin. Watch out for moths," you say. 
She tilts her head and smiles. You look at Steve, who's already looking at you. 
"Princess Buttercup?" you ask. 
"Well." He rubs the back of his neck. "Y-Yeah, kinda. You mentioned The Princess Bride and, uh, I don’t know your name, so…”
You mull that over. 
"If I'm Buttercup, you must be Westley." 
Steve's eyes widen. "Uh…" 
Robin snickers. Max smirks. 
"Interesting shade of red you're turning, Westley," Robin says. 
"Shut—"
He kicks her chair leg. She yelps and shoves him in retaliation. Max rolls her eyes. 
"Have some class, will you?" she says. 
"I'm classy!" Steve insists. 
"Not anymore," Lucas says gravely. "Now you're a glorified babysitter." 
"Childcare is dutiful work," you say. 
Steve grins at you. Your stomach flutters.
“Is that a mud pie?” he asks. 
You nod. 
“Gummy worms?” 
You tilt your head. “How did you know?”
Steve chuckles. “Lucky guess.”
Across the table, the others argue about the classiest ice cream flavors.
“It’s obviously mango sorbet.”
“Sorbet isn’t ice cream!”
“Are they your kids?” you ask.
Steve leans in so you can talk in his ear. His arm is on the back of your chair. If you shift the slightest inch, you’d feel him.
“Minus Robin. Though, sometimes…” He rolls his eyes playfully. “But, um, yeah. Two of them.”
“How many kids do you have?” you ask.
“Let’s see…” Steve counts on his fingers. “Six?”
“Wow. You must be some babysitter.”
“I’m alright.”
You lean in. Steve blinks.
“What’re you doing?” he asks.
“You have an eyelash.” 
You swipe the hair off his cheek and hold your finger in front of his mouth.
“You have to make a wish.”
Steve’s eyes slide to you. He gently holds your hand in place. Your heart beats faster.
“‘Kay.” He blows the eyelash away, but doesn't release your hand. “Let’s see if it comes true.”
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The numbers stare at you. Taunt you, really.
You practically have them memorized. You’d written them thirty times on a piece of notebook paper. Then you’d shoved that under your bed. 
Now you have it taped to your dresser mirror. 
You wish you could talk to Joan about it, but she’s bathing in the sink after an unfortunate encounter with a paint can. 
The Sharpie is gone from your arm, has been gone for several days now. But if you concentrate, you can see its silhouette on your skin. 
You get up and peel the paper off the mirror. Then you go down the hall to your phone. 
Carefully, you dial, making sure not to press any wrong buttons. 
The phone rings. You rock on your toes.
“Hello?” Steve says.
You freeze. 
“Hellooo…?”
“Hi,” you finally say. “It’s Buttercup.”
“Oh!” He sounds so happy. “Hey! Hey, how are you?”
“Good.” You chew on a cuticle. “It’s Saturday.”
“Oh, right! Did you wanna go rollerblading?”
Relief floods you. He remembers.
“Yes. If you’re planning it.”
“I haven’t talked to the kids, but I’m sure they’d be down.” You can hear the smile in his voice. “I can pick you up in twenty?"
“I can walk.”
“C’mon, in the sun? You live on the same street as Lucas anyway, don’t worry about it.”
“Well.” You twirl the telephone cord around your finger so tightly, it threatens to cut off your circulation. “Okay… if it’s no trouble.”
“It’s no trouble,” Steve promises. “I’ll see you in a bit, okay?”
You hang up and run to your room to dig for your skates. They’re stuffed under your bed next to a mini gumball machine. You shove two green gumballs in your mouth and race to the bathroom to check on Joan, nearly slipping on the wood.
“I’m going out, Joan. I think he might… he might like me.” You crunch on the gumball shells and shudder. “What a terrifying thought.”
You pull out the drain stopper and set Joan on a washcloth to dry. Then you go down the hall to put on your sneakers. 
Steve arrives five minutes early. You only know that because you spend the whole time watching the road from your curtained window. You shake your hands out, overwhelmed with nerves. 
It’s just a boy. He’s only a boy. 
The two of you meet halfway. Steve jogs backwards, unusually skillful, and opens the passenger door for you.
“Hey. Does Joan want to come?” Steve asks. 
You shake your head. “She’s having a spa day. It’s just me.”
“Well, I’m happy to have you,” he says, sweet and earnest. 
You duck inside the car and shake your hands a little, trying to fend off the returning nerves. Just a boy.
“So, that’s El,” Steve says as he gets into the driver’s seat, pointing to a girl with short curls. “And you know Max and Lucas.”
Max nods at you with a smile. Lucas waves.
“Hi, El,” you say. “Cool hair.”
“Thank you,” she says, voice soft. “I like your skates.”
“I found them at a yard sale. You can find anything in a yard.”
"Okay," Steve says. "Everybody buckled?" 
“Yes, Mom,” Max mumbles. 
Steve catches your gaze and rolls his eyes. You smile.
Briefly, you worry you’ll have to fill the silence and talk about yourself, like people expect you to. But Steve and the kids hold conversation easily. They talk about anything and everything. 
They're more energetic than you're used to; Debbie always prefers it to be quiet. 
But you don't mind it. You don’t feel lonely like you do when you’re with Debbie.
“Alright, please stay within this area,” Steve says when he parks and everyone gets out. “Within—”
“Shouting distance!” Max yells. “Yeah, we know!”
The park isn't crowded. Most of the paths are clear, so skating will be no problem. 
Max gets out two skateboards from the trunk. 
“Max is going to teach me how to do an ollie,” El informs you. “Would you like to join us?”
“Maybe later,” you say. “I want to master my yard skates.”
She nods and follows the others to the small skate park on the other side of the trees. 
You bring your skates to a bench and sit, lacing them up your feet. Steve is a few feet away, swinging his arms slightly.
“Aren’t you going to join them?” you ask.
“Oh, uh, no. I brought my own skates… I thought maybe we could skate together, if that’s okay?”
“Yes, I would like that,” you say. 
Steve beams. “Alright, cool. I’ll go get mine.”
You stand, about to take a step forward—and immediately slip.
Steve reacts instantly, lunging to catch you. One hand grabs your elbow, the other on your stomach. You squeal and cling to his shirt. 
“Are you okay?” he asks, helping you stand upright.
“I’m okay,” you say, breath caught in your throat.
You take a step but your foot wobbles. Steve grabs you again. You don’t try to take another step.
“I thought skating would be intuitive,” you say, rolling one skate to test.
“What?” 
You look up. Steve’s face is inches from yours. His hair is golden in the sunshine. His eyes lock on your own; his focus sends a jolt of electricity down your spine.
“You know, like how babies are able to swim for the first six months of their lives?”
“Uh…” Steve tilts his head. “No?”
“Oh. Because they were in the womb, they have that ability. ‘Cause they float around in there for nine months, you know? But then they lose it. That’s why we have to learn how to swim.”
“Wow. That’s a cool fact.”
Nobody ever thinks your facts are cool. But Steve does.
“Well, I thought skating would be similar,” you say. “I’ve watched other people skate, so I thought I’d just… do it. I guess I lost that at six months too.”
Steve’s smiling. It’s a gentle smile, though. Not a teasing smile. 
“I see,” he says. “I’m sorry for your disappointment.”
“It’s alright. Life is far more than disappointment. No use getting hung up on it.”
“Do you want me to teach you how to skate?” he asks. “I promise I’m good at it. Coach Collins said I could’ve seriously pursued it.”
“So skating for you is like avoiding death for Westley,” you say.
“Actually, I’m pretty good at avoiding death too,” Steve says. “And making grilled cheeses.”
“Triple threat.”
He ducks his head with a laugh, and you feel the warmth of it flow through your own body.
“Sure. Can’t make lemonade for shit, though.”
“I think your lemonade is perfect, Steve Harrington.”
His cheeks are scarlet again. It’s quickly becoming your favorite color.
“I would like it if you taught me,” you say.
“Okay. I’ll get my skates after you get the hang of it. Put your hand on my arm, right here.”
Steve pats his forearm. Carefully, you do as he says. 
“I’m nervous,” you confess. 
“I got you,” Steve says, cheek brushing your head. “I won’t let you fall, Buttercup.”
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Saint Aloysius’ parking lot has the best rocks. 
You've never told anybody as much because you imagine the lot would get busy, and you like it empty.
Today, you're searching for a brother for Joan. Ever since that tragic day at Macinaw Island, Joan's been very lonely. It‘s hard being a sisterless sister. 
Joan is smooth and round, so you look for an equally smooth and round brother. Commonality is important. 
Your knees hurt from squatting, so you sit. The rocks poke your butt. 
You hear a car rolling up the hill, engine a soft purr. You stop and turn. 
The car is maroon and shiny, with only a couple slight scratches you can't notice unless you look really hard. You don't recognize the license plate, although you have yet to start your record of Hawkins plates. 
It putters to a stop in front of Giovanni's Bakery across the street. The car doors open. 
"I'm losing my edge, Robs! I made a damn fool of myself. I can't even��"
"Okay, first of all, I feel like we're glossing over the fact that you don't even know this girl. And what she did was technically trespassing."
"Do you know her name?" another voice pipes up. 
"No, Dustin, I don't know her name. I don't even know if she lives in Hawkins!"
Their voices disappear as they go inside the bakery. You find Joan a brother, Jack, and Jack finds a wife named Gwen. Gwen isn't smooth and round; she's sharp-edged and will be harder to clean, but she's a muted salmon color and you think she's pretty. You hope Jack will find her pretty too.
As you dig through the pile of rocks, your finger catches on the edge of a broken bottle. It slices your finger. Blood swells immediately. 
You put your new rocks in your plastic red pail with your other hand. Then you stand, joints popping as you do so. You stick your ribs out and bend your spine in a stretch. 
You cross the street to the bakery, pail in hand. The bell jingles as you enter. You hum the ding-dong under your breath. 
"Can I help you?" the man behind the counter asks.
"Hello. Can I have five baci di dama and five of the raspberry sandwich cookies?"
He goes to the display case with a paper bag. You rest your elbows on the counter, pail handles over your arm. 
"Anything else?"
"Yes. Do you have a bandaid? I'm bleeding."
The man purses his lips. "No bandaid, sorry."
"That's okay. Just the cookies, then." 
"Buttercup?"
You turn. Steve stands before you, wearing his Family Video vest. Robin is beside him, her hair piled into a windblown bun on her head. Another boy, shorter than both, younger, is with them. He waves at you, curls bouncing. 
You wave back. Robin squeals.
"Oh my God, what happened to your finger?" she asks, horrified. 
"There was a broken bottle in the parking lot."
"Jesus," Steve says. He takes your hand and inspects it. He's so close and warm. All you can do is stare at the freckles on his neck. 
“Why were you in the parking lot?” he asks.
“I was looking for rocks. This is the best rock spot in all of Hawkins. Well, after Lover’s Lake. But the pH has been abnormally high there. Probably because of the monsters. So I came here.”
"Hi, I'm Dustin," the boy introduces. “Is your finger okay?”
"Hi, Dustin. I think I’ll survive,” you say. “Dustin means brave warrior in Norse.”
Dustin beams. “Yup. I was named after my grandfather. He served in World War Two.”
"Names are important,” you say. “Joan agonized for days deciding what I should call her. Eventually, I decided for her. A name says a lot about a person. Steve has a warrior and good luck at his side."
"Yep, Steve-o here is pretty blessed to have us. And," he gestures to you, "You are?"
"Hungry," you say, taking your bag of cookies with your free hand. 
The bag crinkles as you open it. You hold it out to Steve. 
"Do you want one? I promise they’re blood-free.”
"Uh…” He glances at your hand. “Are you sure your finger is okay?”
“She’s a trooper. Survived ink poisoning and everything.” You wave the bag again. “Cookie?” 
Steve takes a baci di dama out and pops it into his mouth. He hums as he chews, nodding. 
"'S good," he says after he swallows.
"Baci di dama means lady's kisses in Italian," you say. 
His cheeks turn pink again. 
"You should drink more water," you add. "You turn pink easily."
Robin snorts. Steve holds a hand to his cheek. 
"Uh, thanks."
“You’re welcome. Robin, would you like a cookie?" 
"No, thanks,” she says. “I'm picking up a tiramisu for my mom's birthday."
"I want a cookie!" Dustin says. 
"Dude," Steve hisses. 
You hold the bag open to Dustin. He takes a raspberry sandwich cookie. 
"So," Dustin says, mouth full. "Are you Steve’s girlfriend or something?”
“Not that I’m aware of,” you say.
“Du-ude!” Steve says too loudly, voice climbing in pitch.
“What? You talk about her all the freakin’ time. I needed to know.”
You look at Steve. He rubs the back of his neck and half-smiles.  
“Anyway,” continues Dustin. “How do you know Steve?”
"I climbed over his gate by accident on the hottest day of May,” you say.
"By accident?" 
"Yes. All the gates in Loch Nora look the same. Except Steve's gate has climbing ivy and little red flowers. It's much nicer than the other houses. It looks like a person lives there. I mistook it for Debbie's gate." 
Robin tilts her head at you. You don't care what Steve says; she's a one hundred percent bonafide bird. 
Dustin points to your pail, crumbs all over his chin. "Why do you have rocks?"
"They're for Joan," you say.
"Joan? Is she your friend?"
"She's more like my confidante. She doesn't talk much, so I think it'd be presumptuous of me to call her a friend when I have no idea where we stand." 
"Navigating friendships can be hard," Steve offers. 
"Yes," you say. "They can be."
"Being straightforward can help a lot," he continues. "It, uh, at least helped me. That way the other person knows what you mean. No room for miscommunication."
You nod. "That's good advice. I'll have to try that with Joan. Sometimes she can be kind of hard-headed."
You roll up your bag of cookies and reposition your pail on your arm so the metal doesn't dig into your skin. 
"It was nice to meet you, Dustin," you say. "Goodbye, Steve and Robin."
"Wait!"
Steve holds the door for you and follows you out. He still smells sweet, like pineapple, and also a little woody. He touches the small of your back, sending a bolt of electricity down your spine.
"I have a first aid kit in my car. Let me wrap your cut."
"Oh." You'd forgotten about it. "Okay."
You follow Steve to his car. He pops the trunk and rummages. You spot a bat with nails. 
"Very inventive," you say, pointing at the bat. 
Steve laughs shyly. "Yeah, uh, the monsters."
"I definitely wouldn't want to fight you if I were a multi-dimensional monster."
He smiles and takes out a small spray bottle of disinfectant. 
"This is gonna sting, okay? But we need to make sure nothing gets infected."
"An infection would be unfortunate," you say. "I'm quite attached to this finger." 
He sprays and cleans your finger. You wince and Steve squeezes your wrist in apology. Then he pulls out bandaids. 
"Any preference? I have rainbow, Star Wars, 'cause they're all a bunch of nerds, cats… oh, I have flowers! ‘Cause you’re, uh, Buttercup, you know?" 
"Flowers," you say, because Steve's so excited about it. 
He nods and opens the bandaid. You hold out your finger and Steve carefully wraps it. He rubs your knuckle. 
"Thank you," you say. 
"You're welcome. Be careful, okay?"
"I will."
He closes the trunk, swinging his keys on his finger. 
"Sorry if that was awkward, by the way," he says. "Dustin, I mean. He can be… blunt." 
"It wasn't awkward."
“It wasn’t?”
“No,” you say. “I’m happy you tell people about me. I tell Joan about you all the time.”
"Oh." He nods. "That—that’s good. So… we’re both… uh—”  
"Do you want another lady's kiss?"
"What? Oh—" Steve clears his throat. "N-no, that's okay. Thanks."
You take out a raspberry cookie and bite into it. 
"Your hair has product," you observe. 
"Yeah. No secrets, though."
"Everybody's hair has secrets."
"Even yours?" he asks. 
"Especially mine." 
Steve rubs the back of his neck. You open your bag and take out another cookie. He looks like he's trying to find the right words to say. You don't mind waiting. 
"Hey, do you like barbecue?" he asks. 
"I like it as well as anybody else."  
"Well, um, I'm having a barbecue this Saturday. Lucas won a big championship game and so we're celebrating his win."
"That's nice," you say. "Congratulations to Lucas."
"Yeah! So, um, did you maybe want to come too? It'll be at my house. You could bring a friend if you wanted. Like Joan."
"Joan is a vegetarian," you say. "But I'm sure she'd enjoy the company."
Steve smiles. He has such a pretty smile. 
"We're ordering pizza too, so Joan can have some of that."
"You're a very thoughtful host.”
Then you have a terrible thought. But you have to ask it because if you don't, you might be breaking some kind of invisible expectation. You do that a lot. 
"Does Debbie have to come?" you ask. 
Steve blinks. "Uh, no? It's not a requirement."
"Some people ask me to parties because they want Debbie to come." 
Steve frowns. "That's rude. I wouldn't do that."
"Okay. What time does the barbecue begin?"
"You can stop by anytime. But we'll probably start eating around six."
You nod. "Joan and I will be there at five thirty."
Steve's answering grin is blinding. He must be really excited to meet Joan. You get it; Joan's the life of any party she attends. 
"Great, that's great. I'll see you then."
"Bye, Steve," you say. 
"Bye," he answers like he's out of breath. 
Even the way he breathes is pretty.
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Every month, Miles Stanwick throws a party. 
Miles is a celebrity in Hawkins, his father being a state senator, and Miles is, according to a drunk Debbie, “the Gatsby to her Daisy.”
You're pretty sure Debbie hasn't read the book. Or maybe she's a living tragedy. Either is possible. 
It had been just you two in her room, without the Other Debbie she pretends to be to impress the people of Loch Nora, when she'd told you what it meant to be in love. 
"You just know," she'd said, her breath reeking of tequila.
You'd turned your head. Tequila made your nose itch. 
"But you love Brett," you'd said. 
"Brett is who I'll marry," she'd corrected. She’d sounded so sad. "Miles is all I've got."
Then she'd thrown up all over her carpet. You'd helped her into bed and made a mental note to find her a friend like Joan to keep her company, for when you weren't around. 
You don't like parties. They're loud and smelly and usually filled with people you don't like or don't know. And at a party, people you don't like and people you don't know are one and the same. 
You would leave, but Debbie is your ride tonight. So you're stuck here until midnight, maybe even later. 
Someone plugs in a karaoke machine and that gets most of the party's attention. The music is horribly loud and is the kind that’s just a lot of synthesizer. 
A guy jumps onto the Stanwicks' coffee table and knocks over the potpourri dish. Dried petals and orange peels scatter across the carpet. 
Debbie appears in front of you, a red Solo cup in her hand. 
"What did I bring you here for?" she asks, mouth curled. "To slump on the couch?"
"No one here wants to talk," you say. 
Debbie rolls her eyes. "Parties aren't for talking. They're for drinking and making out. Someone's rolling a blunt in the den. Go suck on that, will you?"
The people in Loch Nora are so good at making you feel two inches tall. You wish you'd brought Joan. She'd know what to do. 
You've tried alcohol before. Champagne at a wedding. A sip of rum from the Wellermans' liquor cabinet, back when Debbie wasn't so caught up in being just like everyone else. 
Maybe it's your fault, too. Maybe you're too good at standing out. 
You go to the kitchen. It's already trashed. You step over a spill on the floor. Then you turn around and lay down some paper towels so no one will slip. 
There are various bottles of strong liquor strewn across the counters. You decide to try the punch and fill your cup to the top. You sniff it and your nose wrinkles at the whiff of alcohol. 
You so badly want to have fun. You want to know what makes all of this worth it. You want your friendship with Debbie to be worth it. 
You down the punch in one go. It makes you cough and you scramble for water at the sink. You wonder if the punch is poisoned. 
You wobble out of the kitchen a couple minutes later, head already woozy. A girl stands with a drink, one arm folded. 
"Where's Debbie?" you ask. The girl winces and steps away from you. 
"She went with Miles and some other people to the lake."
Your eyes widen. "No, they can't. There's monsters."
She looks at you like you might be an insect splattered on her dashboard. 
"You're Debbie's weird friend, aren't you?"
Weird doesn't make you feel good, like Steve calling you strange did. Weird makes you feel like when a boy in sixth grade stepped on your heels while going up the stairs because he thought it was funny. 
"Debbie would've told me," you say. 
The girl shrugs. "Guess she ditched you. She can't score with Miles if you're killing the vibe." 
Weird tastes like poison in your mouth. 
"Debbie was my ride," you say, but she’s already gone.
Your head aches. You try to think on what to do next. It's nearly midnight. No one is awake, and you have no idea how to call a cab. 
You find the Stanwicks' phone in the hall and dial the only number you know, besides your own, and the local pizzeria. 
"Hello?" 
You lean against the wall, phone in both hands. 
"Uh, hello? Who is this?" 
"H-hi, Westley." Your voice cracks. 
"Hey," Steve says, unbearably gentle. "My favorite rock girl. Jesus, it's… midnight."  
"I'm sorry," you say. 
"No, no, it's alright. I'm just—is everything okay? Are you okay?" 
"Debbie ditched me."
Silence. For a moment, you panic that the line's dropped.
"Steve?"
"Where are you?" 
"I'm, um, at Miles Stanwick's. The address is… well, I don't remember, but I'll go outside and look for the house number—"
"I know it," Steve says. "Stay right there. I'm coming to get you. Don't drink any more."
Your lip wobbles. "'Kay."
"It's okay," he soothes. "Drink some water. Don't take anything from anybody." 
"I just wanted to be fun," you blurt. 
"You are fun, Buttercup. Way more fun than anybody at that house, I guarantee it. I'll be there in ten minutes, okay?"
"Okay. Thank you, Steve," you say, no longer feeling so small. 
You hang up and go to the kitchen to get more water from the sink. Then you return to the hallway and sit, back against the wall, knees tucked into your chest. 
You doze, lids heavy from the alcohol. The next thing you know are two hands on your arms. 
You jolt awake. One hand cradles the back of your head so you don't thump it against the wall. 
"Hey, hey." Steve kneels in front of you. He brushes your cheek with a cool knuckle. "It's me, it's Steve. Are you okay?"
His hands are cool against your overheated skin. He smells like lemon shampoo. 
"My knight," you say. 
"I thought Westley was a pirate."
“He was only pretending." 
You let Steve ease you up. His car keys dig into your hip.
"Ow," you say dazedly. 
"What? What hurts?"
"Keys."
"Oh." Steve shifts you to his opposite side, hand on your back. "Sorry, honey." 
"Honey never spoils," you say. "Did you know that? You could dig up honey from a tomb that's thousands of years old and as long as it was stored in an airtight container, it's good to eat."
"I love that you know that." 
"Do you really?" 
"I really do," Steve says. "C’mon, let's get you home." 
Outside, the moon is a dot of cream in the purple sky. The neighborhood is quiet. Most of the houses are also dark. 
"I'm sorry for calling you so late," you say. 
"Don't be. I'm glad you called me. These parties can get out of hand."
"Debbie left. She went to Lover's Lake with Miles—"
The panic returns, flooding your body. You squirm and Steve tries to keep you steady. 
"Whoa, what's—"
"The monsters! There's monsters down there, Steve. I don't like Miles, but I don't want him to be eaten!"
"No, no, no more monsters," Steve assures you. "They can't come through there anymore."
You still. "Promise?"
"I promise."
He helps you into the passenger seat of his car. Steve leans in and pulls the seat belt over you.
"Comfy?" he asks. 
"I like you so much, Steve Harrington."
It's too dark to tell, but you suspect he's got another case of sunstroke. 
"I, um, like you too, Buttercup. You're really cool."
"Me?" You wave your hand. "No."
"Really," he insists. "You are. The coolest."
If you were Debbie, if you weren't weird in the wrong way, if you didn't go to parties to talk, and if you fit a million other criteria you never will, Steve would kiss you right now. Or maybe you'd kiss him. 
But you don't know how to go about that. You don't think it's your right to do such a thing. 
So Steve shuts the door and walks around to the driver's seat. You stare at your flower bandaid.
"Four three's," Steve says as he turns the ignition. 
You turn your head. "Hmm?"
"The house number. Four three's. That's gotta be, like, astronomically bad luck, right?"
"Without a doubt."
Except you're here with Steve Harrington, and he calls you honey and thinks you're cool. And that doesn't seem like bad luck at all. 
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"I'm going to a barbecue," you call out. 
There's no reply. You close the door behind you.
Joan sits in your pocket. You've tied a purple ribbon around her head, right above her googly eyes. You don't know what the dress code is for a barbecue, but you hope she's not underdressed.
You haven’t spoken to Steve since Miles’ party. You’re not sure what you should say, and you can’t bear the thought of calling him to hear silence. 
Even if he doesn’t like you the way you like him, you hope he’ll still be friends with you. Steve and his kids have grown on you. You don’t know if you can go back to who you were before the hottest day of May. 
“Material Girl” plays from inside Steve's backyard. You mouth the words as you fling your flip flops over the gate. 
"What the fuck?" someone says from the other side. 
You climb the gate and shimmy down. It's a good thing you're wearing shorts under your dress.
A boy, lanky and tall but probably Lucas's age, holds one of your flip flops. He stares at you and shakes the shoe. 
"Is this yours?"
"Both of them are," you say. "Does Steve like Madonna?"
He grimaces. "Unfortunately."
"Cool."
You spot Steve sitting on one of the deck chairs with Robin and a boy your age with big, curly hair and a Led Zeppelin shirt with cropped sleeves. 
"Venus" plays next and you wobble in time with the music as you walk over to Steve. 
"Her weapons were her crystal eyes," you whisper. The pavement is warm under your toes. 
"Making every man mad." 
Steve turns just as you reach him. He stands so fast he shakes the chair. 
"Hey!" he says. He sounds out of breath again. "Hey, you came."
"You invited me," you say. 
"Yeah, yes." Steve nods. "I did. I'm glad you're here."
"You play good music."
"Ha!" Steve whips his head to look at the curly haired boy. "Suck it, Munson."
"She's obviously biased." 
"Munson," you say. "Eddie Munson?"
Eddie freezes under your gaze. Robin and Steve glance at you. 
"Yeah, uh, that's me." Eddie smiles weakly. "Look, you might've heard some stuff abou—"
"You helped fight the monsters," you interrupt. "You're very brave." 
Eddie's eyes widen. "I—"
"Most people just like to ignore monsters. It takes a really good person to fight them." You turn to Steve. "Do you have orange Fanta?" 
"Yeah, sure. I'll get you a can. Feel free to sit… where are your shoes?"
You point behind you. "Your bodyguard had to screen them after I climbed your gate. You have very tight security."
"After you climbed my… wait, Mike? God, I’m sorry about him. I'll get your shoes back."
"It's okay. Flip flops are dangerous weapons. It's only a matter of time before the airport bans them." 
Steve tilts his head, eyes warm. "Right. I'll be back. That's Eddie and Robin… you know them."
"I know their names, and that's about all you can know about anybody."
Eddie giggles. You look at him. He doesn't seem to be laughing at you, so you sit where Steve was sitting, across from Eddie's chair. You point at his shirt. 
"I like Kashmir."
"Thank God! Somebody with decent tastes."
"I'll listen to anything," you say. "It's important to be a good listener."
Eddie grins. "Words of the wise."
"Where's Joan?" Robin asks. 
"Right here." You take Joan out of your pocket and set her down on the edge of the pool chair. 
"Sick," Eddie says.
You nod. "The ribbon was my pick."
"I like it," Robin says. 
"Thank you."
Steve returns with an orange Fanta for you and a root beer for Robin. 
Robin points to Joan. "Steve, this is the famous Joan we've heard so much about."
"That's a rock," says Steve. 
"Yep."
"Oh." He nods in understanding. "Joan is your pet rock?"
"Confidante," you correct. "’Pet’ is demeaning."
"Got it. And was Joan's sister also your confidante?"
"No. Joan's sister didn't like me much. She thought I was a bad influence on Joan. But we shouldn't talk about it now. Joan gets very sad when I bring it up."
You open your can. The carbonation hisses. It's itchy and sweet on your tongue. 
"I like your hair," you say. "It's fluffy. Like it was on the hottest day of May."
Steve pushes a couple strands behind his ear.
"Thanks. The gel is too much on hot days like these. Weighs me down."
"At least you won't float away." You look at Eddie. "Is your hair full of secrets too?"
Eddie ruffles his hair. "Not as many as Steve's, but I've got a couple in here. 'S what gives my curls volume." 
"Hm. Just as I suspected," you say. 
"Ste-eve!" Dustin whines from across the yard. "You promised burgers!"
Steve rolls his eyes. "You'd think he's never been fed in his life."
Eddie pats his shoulder. "You've got this, Harrington."
"Oh, no. You wanna eat, you've gotta earn your keep. Come on."
Eddie groans, flinging himself off the chair. "Save me, Buckley!"
"Already did that," she says, pulling her sunglasses onto her eyes. "Never again." 
"You should tie up your hair so it doesn't catch fire," you suggest. 
"Well, at least somebody cares about me," Eddie declares, pulling his hair into a ponytail. 
Steve turns to you and smiles softly. 
"Are you hungry? You can have the first pick of the burgers."
"Won't Dustin be annoyed?"
Steve shrugs. "Kid could use some manners. Besides, pretty girls always get the first pick. It's the law." 
You follow Steve and Eddie to the grill, pretty girl echoing in your brain the whole time. 
Eddie's hair doesn't catch on fire and Steve makes you a perfect burger. The sun sparkles on the pool surface. The kids come out to eat and, predictably, Dustin complains about not getting the first burger.
"Not fair. Just 'cause she's your girlfriend," he mumbles as he goes off to search for the mustard. 
You check to see if Steve had heard the comment. He doesn't seem to have; you can't decide if you're relieved or not. 
The chairs are all taken by the time you finish fixing up your burger. Steve stands immediately as you approach.
“Here, take my seat,” he says.
“We can share,” you offer.
Steve lets you take the back of the chair, settling at the foot. “You Make My Dreams Come True” plays on the speakers. 
“Whoever made this mixtape is a genius,” you announce.
“You like it?” says Steve. “I actually made this one. Robin and Eddie think my taste sucks, but—”
“It’s spectacular.”
He hums, ducking his head shyly. “Well, speaking of spectacular: I made more lemonade, if you want to test it before I unleash it upon the masses.”
“I’ll happily drink your lemonade,” you say. “It’ll build my iocane tolerance.”
Steve grins. “I rented The Princess Bride, by the way. I know you meant to get it a few weeks ago. We can watch it tonight, if you want.”
“You remembered I wanted to watch it,” you say.
He nods. “Well, uh, yeah. Do you still want to? If you don’t, I can—”
“I do,” you say. “Thank you.”
“Yeah, of course.” Steve stands, hand outstretched so you’ll give him your empty plate. “I’m going inside. Anybody want anything?”
“Doritos!” Robin shouts.
“Napkins, please,” El says.
“Cherry Coke!” Mike calls.
“Beer!” Eddie whoops.
“Doritos, napkins, got it. The cooler is right there, Wheeler, and are you kidding, Eddie? No drinking by the pool. Have we not learned our lesson from the last four years?”
“Bold of you to assume I’ve learned anything, Steven.”
“Can you bring us popsicles?” Max asks. “Lemon and grape.”
“Ooh, popsicles sound good,” says Robin. “Bring me one too. Fruit punch.”
Steve sighs, lifting his arms.
“Two hands, guys. Only got two.”
“I can help,” you offer.
“Now that’s a great idea,” Robin says. “The two of you in the kitchen, alone. Really brilliant, don’t you think, Steve?”
Steve glares at her. Then he turns to you, expression softening.
“That’d be great, thank you.”
You follow him into the kitchen. It looks exactly like the last time you were here, except for the food. Steve opens the freezer and digs through the box of popsicles. Then he takes the pitcher of lemonade out of the fridge and sets it on the counter.
“Can you get the Doritos?” he asks. “They’re up there.”
You open a shelf over the stove. The chips are at the very top. You try jumping; all that does is bang your ribs into the counter.
"Whoa, whoa.”
Steve’s hand rests on your back. Your stomach swoops. 
"Easy, Buttercup. I’ll get it, sorry ‘bout that."
You frown. "The Doritos have eluded me."
"They’re a tricky bunch," he says, reaching and successfully grabbing the chips.
"I knew you’d best me and succeed."
"Best you?" 
"Yes," you say. "Like in a duel."
Steve tilts his head, a tiny crinkle forming in the center of his brows. 
"Are we going to duel? Like Inigo and Westley?"
"Not if I can help it," you say. "I'm terrible with a sword."
"I would never try to sword fight you." 
"I appreciate that."
His hand slips from your back. You watch it fall to his side.
“Feel free to help yourself to whatever you want,” Steve says as he takes a glass out of the cupboard. “You can also take food home.”
You exhale through your nose and wiggle your fingers a little, trying to stave off the nerves. You wish Joan was in your pocket right now, but you left her on the deck chair. 
“Buttercup?” 
You look up. Steve has a glass of lemonade in one hand. The top button of his polo shirt is undone. Was it always undone? You can’t remember. 
Anyway, he’s beautiful. And you’re so damn strange.
“Yes, Westley?”
Steve smiles. You don’t think anyone has ever smiled at you as much as Steve does. 
“Everything okay?” he asks.
He puts the glass in front of you. You glance at it, then back at him.
“Everything’s fine.”
“Are you sure? I won’t force you to drink my crappy lemonade if you don’t want to, y’know.”
“You called me strange,” you blurt. “When we first met.”
Steve’s eyes widen. 
“I didn’t mean it in a bad way,” he says softly. “But I won’t call you that anymore if you don’t like it.”
“No, I–I know you didn’t mean it in a bad way. But…”
He nods, encouraging you to continue.
“I’m not like Debbie,” you say. 
“I know.”
“I’ll probably never be like Debbie.”
“I much prefer you as yourself,” he says.
“Oh.”
You sip your lemonade. Your lips pucker but you smile all the same.
“Damn,” Steve says with a chuckle. “I really can’t nail that lemonade, huh?”
“It’s wonderful,” you whisper. 
He takes a step forward. You set the glass on the counter.
“Can I kiss you?” he asks.
“I would very much like that.”
Steve’s lips are slightly chapped. You taste like lemonade and he tastes like Coke and God, you like it so much.
You loop your arms around his neck like you’ve wanted to do for weeks. He returns in kind, both hands slipping to your waist. 
It’s not just a boy kissing you. It’s Steve.
The sliding glass door whooshes open and you jerk your head back in surprise. Max and Dustin trod in. 
Dustin shrieks. 
“Seriously? This is what was taking you so long?”
“If you were gonna do that, we would’ve gotten the popsicles ourselves,” Max says with a huff, grabbing the popsicles and chips from the counter. 
“Told ya they were making out!” comes Eddie’s voice from outside. “I warned you, kiddies!”
They clear out, with one last stink eye from Dustin. Steve shakes his head, nose pressed to your cheek.
“Again, very sorry about them.”
“They wanted to check in on their favorite babysitter,” you say.
Steve lifts his head and rolls his eyes. “I need a padlock or something.”
You hum and lean over to unwrap a popsicle. 
“Oh,” you say. “Three left.”
“Three popsicles?”
“Mmhm.”
“Well, that explains it. Astronomical bad luck, right?”
“Actually,” you say, leaning in for another kiss. “I think my theory was wrong.”
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When painting Pedro, gotta get those eyes perfect :)
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Title: Seek
Series Masterlist
Pairing: Joel Miller x Divorcee! Reader
Summary: You are forced to share your hiding spot with one incorrigible cretin—Joel Miller. But, maybe that’s not so bad.
Word Count: 8,369
Warnings: 18+ Only, Fluff, Comedy, Shameless Smut, Breeding, Pre-Outbreak, Intoxication, Fluff, MINORS DNI!
A/N: a little peek at the night Joel and the Reader first got together. AKA that time Sarah played matchmaker with two grown adults. 😂 enjoy! divider is by @firefly-graphics​
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“Hello, neighbor.” The low, sultry drawl, makes you swallow tightly. Oh God. You’re glad your hands are stuck wrist deep in the dirt, otherwise they’d be shaking. You take a few tries to school your features into what you hope is a casual smile, and not a grimace of abject panic as you glance over your shoulder at him. 
“Hey, Joel.” Your ruggedly handsome neighbor leans against the fence, folding his thickly corded forearms over the pickets. You offer him the sincerest smile you can muster. God his fucking sleeves are rolled up—you fight the urge to ruin it by sinking your teeth into your lower lip. His eyes flick down, and then back up to your face. 
“You doin’ some gardenin’?” You don’t know why, but the quirk of his lips makes your stomach knot.  
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in my hometown, part i | joel miller x f!reader
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part ii 
pairing: neighbour!dbf!joel miller x fem!afab!reader (+ platonic!tommy and platonic!sarah)
summary: pre-outbreak/tlou. tomorrow you leave town for good. tonight, you cross the line with your neighbour, joel. set in 2002 bc it’s fun. slight canon divergence (sarah’s mom is vaguely in the picture later)
rating: 18+ (no minors please)
word count: 6.5k (hehe)
warnings etc: angst, some fluff, smut, alcohol use, dbf!joel, soft!joel, 10 year age gap (joel is 35 reader is 25), unprotected p in v sex, fingering, oral (m receiving), technically exhibitionism, mentions of divorce, reader’s mom is definitely verbally abusive. NO USE OF Y/N.
A/N: here’s something a little different! i am getting to writing more javi soon, but this idea has been in my head for so long now, originally as a one-shot inspired by “’tis the damn season.” but i really wanted to establish reader and joel’s relationship a bit more first so here we are. part two is imminent bc it is basically already written!
series music inspo <3 
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Pedro Pascal before the Met Gala (via Pierpaolo Piccioli’s intagram)
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DISARMING THE NARCISSIST - Javier x F!reader
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CHAPTER 5 - THE FIRST SHALL BE LAST, PART 2
chapter rating: sfw, acquaintances, gunfight
word count: 3.7k
a/n: for those a little confused by the hand wrapping scene, I’ve been playing mgsv again and was inspired by the way Quiet wraps her hand before shooting, take a look (1:40)
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"Wake up," you heard Charles' quiet voice come from just outside the tent. You groaned and turned over. It had only been a few hours since you’d fallen asleep, and you were starting to regret having offered to take early watch. That was, until you heard Javier stir behind you, snapping you back into the reality of having slept next to him. "(y/n), up!" You sat up with a jump as Charles kicked your foot gently. "I'm up," you coughed, "I'm up." You shuffled over to the edge of the tent, pulling on your boots, cold and slightly damp from the morning air they'd been sat in. "What time is it?" You pushed yourself up off the ground, joining Charles outside. "Just gone 5, my favorite time of day," he smiled. You nodded, rubbing your own arms to create some warmth. "It is quite a beautiful morning." Charles hummed and took a step towards the tent. "Make the most of it." You looked over the sleepy town of Blackwater. The only other people awake were the shop owners, and the delivery drivers on their wagons, pulled by mighty light grey shires. "Oh, wait a sec." You stopped Charles as he was about to duck into the tent.
     You pushed past the fabric and grabbed your blanket. Charles had his own, and you needed some extra warmth if you were to sit out in the chilly morning air for the next few hours. "All set?" He chuckled, watching you wrap it around your shoulders. "All set,” you nodded, wishing Charles a good few hours of rest, before heading over to your horse. "Hey buddy," you smiled, pulling a sugar cube from your saddlebag and offering it to your mount. You gave your horse a pat, and took your Lancaster repeater from the saddle, as well as a cloth and some gun oil. It'd been a while since you'd used your own repeater, it could do with a good clean before the mess you were bound to get into. You made your way over to Charles' bedroll. He'd moved it during the night, from the tent over to a tree, sheltered from prying eyes. You sat down and pulled the blanket up over your shoulders more, getting to work on your dusty firearm. Your thoughts wandered, going to the last time you'd been able to properly use it.
     It was quite a while before Blackwater, before you were even chased out of New Austin, and your first and only mission with another gang member. Out of all the members of the gang, Arthur had been one of the most welcoming, and the first to offer you ride out with him. He'd always loved listening to the stories of your life before the gang, but he had a hard time believing that a young woman like yourself could have done so well going it alone for as long as you did. He wanted to see if it was just all talk, so he'd asked you to meet him down at Gaptooth Ridge. He'd heard talk of a caravan coming from Mexico, stopping at Benedict Point to load its cargo onto a train, before said cargo would head all the way to Thieves Landing. He wanted to intercept it before it reached the station, and intercept it you did. You returned to camp a few days later, with a brand new wagon, and a large crate full of rifles and repeaters. You'd shown him what you were capable of that day, but you'd never been asked out, or even named for a potential job since. Not until now.
"You oughta keep your eye on the horizon," Javier's voice came from behind you. You looked up from your work; he was right. The town's lawmen were out and about again, cresting the horizon, surveilling their surroundings. "They're not close enough to worry." You shrugged, returning your focus to your weapon. "For all they know, we're just a couple of friends out on an overnight hunting trip or.. something like that." Javier walked past you, lighting up his first cigarette of the day, and leaning on the tree that was sheltering you. "Are we?" He smirked. You raised your head again, reluctantly. "Are we what?" Javier took a long drag, his gaze turning to the plains, and then back towards you. "Never mind." You sighed and set your repeater to the side. "You got another one of those?" You gestured to his cigarette, to which he nodded. You stood up and closed the space, taking one from the pack and placing it between your lips. Javier beckoned with his finger for you to come closer, and as you did, he placed the tip of his cigarette against yours.
     You inhaled, trying to avoid any eye contact. This wasn't the sort of interaction you were expecting to have so early in the morning, but you'd be lying if you said you didn't enjoy the bolt of energy it sent coursing through your body. You pulled back and showed Javier a slight smile, taking a drag and a few steps away so that you could have a clearer view of the plains. "I wish we had coffee," you turned your nose up at the taste of tobacco. Javier hummed in agreement, watching you waste the cigarette after a minute or so and put it out with your boot. Watching the bison roam again this morning, the hazy atmosphere and the birdsong, it made you feel something, but you couldn't quite put your finger on it. "Do you.. ever miss home?" You asked Javier shyly. The answer was obvious, but you hoped that he would answer some of your own questions. "All the time." His head dropped to his boots. You turned your gaze to him, your arms wrapped around yourself, rubbing slightly to warm yourself up. "What does that feel like?" Javier shrugged gently, before turning his eyes to yours. "Like a part of me is always missing.. or like I don't always belong."
     You sighed, feeling a little guilty for having asked a question on such a sensitive subject. "I know what I'm feeling will never amount to what you are," you started. "But I miss the Plains, and New Austin. There's only so much mud I can take before I wish it was the dust we used to kick up that way." Javier moved closer to you, having finished his cigarette and wanting to see the same view as you. "Remember the time we set up camp in Rio Bravo?" Javier nodded, shifting in the cool breeze. "When all my work was done, I'd ride out, around Plainview, along the border, but I'd always end up in the same spot." You offered him one end of the blanket you still had around your shoulders, which he accepted, wrapping himself next to you. "Down a small ravine that came out to a little spot right on the bank of the San Luis river." Javier crossed his arms, enjoying the moment of peace between you. "It was so peaceful, secluded. And I had a perfect view of the canyon arch over on the other side. I could've sat there for hours. I did, in fact." You smiled, wishing you could go back, even if just for a moment.
     "I used to ride around there, once upon a time." Javier's voice was quiet. "It was a good place to clear my mind." You turned to him, your expression a little regretful, once again. "Clear your mind?" He nodded, his hand moving to scratch his chin. "The people with the power there? Ah." He batted the air. "I tried to change them, but they're so stuck in their ways, and their ways are so wrong. They'd kill you for having an opinion other than what they wanted you to have. Sometimes, all I could do, was ride away for a few days, to keep myself from doing something I'd regret." He paused for a moment. "But I also spent a lot of my time there," his gaze turned to you, "because of a woman." You looked away, your cheeks starting to warm from such close eye contact. "I'm starting to see a pattern." You smirked. "Indeed," Javier sighed. "Does it have a name, the arch?" You wanted to move away from the woman he spoke of, you could see by his body language that it was still a sore subject, even after all these years. "Ojo del Diablo, eye of the devil."
You frowned upon hearing it. "I wasn't expecting something so ominous." Javier chuckled. "My mother told me it was named that way, because it had seen many bad people pass through. I guess I ended up being one of them." He sounded slightly ashamed. Javier's hand moved to his gunbelt, brushing against your arm as he went. You were starting to realize that, maybe, being in his company, wasn't such a bad thing. "They say a legendary cat lives there too, though I've never been fortunate enough to catch a glimpse of him." You chuckled slightly. "A cat?" Javier nodded, looking down to you. "A-a big cat, a jaguar. They call him Khan." Your eyes dropped to your boots with another soft laugh. "I suppose that's a little more credible than the Chupacabra, huh." Javier's brows furrowed, surprised you even knew of the mythical beast. "Don't speak its name, it'll come for you." Your gaze snapped back to Javier's. "That's a thing?" He shrugged dramatically. "I'm gonna go take a look over Blackwater, see if Trelawny is down there. I'll see you later." And with that, he left you to think over the fact you may have just sealed your fate.
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"About time you showed up," you smiled as Arthur rode up to where you'd camped. "Javier spotted Trelawny in town not too long ago, he should be around soon with more details, then we can move in." Arthur jumped down off his horse and walked over to you, handing you a small flask. "For you, for not having killed Javier yet." You showed him a smile. "Isn't it a little early for liquor?" Arthur smirked and took a few steps closer, grabbing your hand and placing the flask in it. "It's warm," you gasped, "is this coffee?" Arthur nodded and let out a gentle hum, starting to walk over to Javier, and Charles who'd been up for a while now. "You're a dear." You shouted after him. You watched as he settled himself between his two fellow camp mates, stealing the binoculars off Charles as he did. "Where is that little Irish bastard?" It wasn't long until you spotted Trelawny, creeping up the side of the hill towards you. He tipped his hat, but didn't stop to chat; more important matters were at hand. You sipped on your coffee while you listened to the men talk, thinking about whether to involve yourself more, though, you could hear everything just fine from where you were.
"Sean is being moved up the Upper Montana," Josiah started, news that was surprising to you and the boys alike, "then to a federal prison out West." He kneeled down, out of view of the passing lawmen below. "We can't be rescuing people from some federal prison." Arthur grumbled, followed by something about cutting Sean loose, though he was quickly shut down by Charles. "Ike Skelding's boys are moving him to a camp nearby, before handing him over to the government," Trelawny continued. "We should stop them before they get to that camp,” you spoke up, “I'm not too familiar with Skelding's boys, but they must have some real firepower if they're being trusted to transport West Elizabeth's most wanted." You took the last sip and slipped the flask into your pocket. Arthur nodded, setting up a plan for Charles to head on over to the North side, while you'd cover the valley with Javier and Arthur himself. "Come on, let's go see." Arthur spoke quietly, the boys moving back from their scouting spot and towards where you were still sat.
     "I wasn't expecting to see you here, (y/n)," Trelawny offered a hand to help you up off the ground. "Has this become a regular thing, you joining the boys?" He smiled. "No," you sighed. "I guess you haven't been around much these last few months. Javier and I haven't been getting along, the boss man decided this would be a good bonding experience." You smirked, using air quotes. "You listen to Mr van der Linde, young lady. He knows what he's doing." Trelawny waited for you as you patted yourself down, the others having walked past and mounted up already. "Yeah, well, I question that sometimes," you picked up your repeater, placing it over your shoulders, "but between you and me," you spoke quietly, "I think it might actually be working, as much as I hate to admit it." Trelawny chuckled in response. It was true, he hadn't really been around enough to know you had an issue with Javier; but what he did know, from the way you two had been exchanging looks here and there, was that there was more going on underneath it all, whether either of you realized it or not. You just needed to be put in a situation without an audience; one that, for some reason, would spur on the jabs between the two of you.
"You know, Arthur, the government, or people whom the government like, seem to be very angry." Trelawny hopped onto his spotted mount. "Sure, well, we'll rescue Sean, and then we'll get ourselves lost, good and proper, it's a big country." You grabbed your horses reins, walking over to the boys and mounting up. Arthur took the lead, riding over to the edge of the cliff, overlooking the Upper Montana river. Trelawny and Javier took their places behind Arthur, and you took up the rear. "Down there, reckon those might be our boys." Arthur pointed at a boat below. "Keep your guns away until we know it's Sean, okay? I know what you two boys are like." Trelawny took the lead. "What about (y/n)?" Javier piped up. "What about her, dear boy?" Javier shrugged and repositioned himself. "This is her first mission. You should be warning her." You trotted your horse closer to him to hear his little attacks better. "And, well, she has a hard time keeping her head." You knew his comment was more playful now, instead of being said with the intention to hurt you. "Keep talking like I'm not here, Arthur will end up regretting rewarding me with a coffee for my good behavior towards you."
You clicked to your horse and overtook Javier, leaving him stuck at the rear. “You got coffee? I- Arthur!” Javier stuttered. "She told you," Arthur chuckled, "anyway, we should keep it down." You rode along the edge, watching as the boat pulled onto the shore, just below the valley. "Get your binoculars out, let's see what we're dealing with here." Trelawny brought his horse to a halt, the rest of you lining up beside him. "That looks like Sean to me," you commented as they pulled the bag off his head, the sun making his ginger hair all the more red. "Certainly kicking up enough of a fuss, definitely Sean." Arthur's tone was a little flat. "Oh, they're giving him a decent kicking." Javier chuckled. "Well, you can only imagine the shit he's been giving them." The four of you continued along the cliff, before turning down a small ravine and stopping at the river. "I'll go around and create a distraction, then you two sneak across and do the dirty on them. (y/n), follow along behind them. Keep yourselves hidden." Trelawny instructed. You nodded, watching as Javier and Arthur slowly made their way into the river. You stayed back, you weren't about to get yourself wet just yet.
Once Trelawny had the two headhunters distracted, Arthur and Javier crept up behind them, each grabbing their victim. Arthur dealt with his swiftly, but Javier took his time, performing a choreographed takedown that sent a little tingle down your spine. It wasn't a particularly good one; it made you think how that could've been you on the ride here, had you continued to be aggressive, and not had the heart to heart. "A pleasure as always, I think you have it from here." Trelawny hurried back to his horse, the last thing he wanted was to be caught in a shootout. This was it, you were in it now, no backing out. Your heart raced as you walked through the river, towards the valley, joining Javier and Arthur who'd taken cover behind a rock. "Come on, we got two halfway up the canyon to deal with." Javier hurried you. "We? I got this," you gave him a sarcastic smile for rushing you, repeater in hand. The fear had disappeared, now the rush had kicked in, and you wanted in on the action. "They're mine." You wrapped the leather strap around your wrist once and grabbed ahold of your weapon, the wrapped hand just past the frame, the other ready to pull the trigger.
You'd wrapped your wrist for as long as you could remember, at least, when you had time to think about where you were going to shoot. You told yourself it was to stabilize the weapon, and as true as that was, it also just looked cool, and you wanted it to be your thing. You aimed at the bounty hunter on the left, taking a shot right at his head, and another to his buddy as he turned around to see where the bullet had come from. "Nice shooting," Javier shouted over the eruption of gunfire, "come on, let's move!" He ran up the canyon and ducked behind a new rock, Arthur and yourself covering him the whole way. "Come on Arthur, let's push up," you signaled. You took care of the men on the cliff while the boys handled those on the ground. "There's Charles," Javier shouted as he kept running, "let's get up there." You looked up to find Charles in a machete fight with yet another bounty hunter. "I got him," you stopped running, taking aim on the enemy. You took the shot, hitting the man in the thigh and letting Charles take care of him from there, before running to catch up with the others.
     The three of you made your way to the top of the canyon, joining Charles and crossing the road, towards the camp. "Let's take these hijos de putas!" Javier rushed in and started shooting, Arthur and Charles not far behind. You thought they'd have more of a plan than just running in guns blazing, but it was now too late to do anything but that. "Goddamn army of these bastards," Arthur yelled, "how much is Sean's bounty?" You laughed as you hid behind a stack of logs. "Maybe we should turn him in ourselves." You poked your head out when the coast was clear, your attention turning to Arthur as you heard him groan. "You okay?" You shouted over. "Ahhh just a graze," he kept shooting. You felt a bullet rush past your own body just as jumped back behind cover. "Too close," you spoke to yourself. "They're running away!" Javier laughed at Skelding's boys, pointing at the last few to disappear over the hill. You sighed out of relief, unwrapping your wrist as the shootout came to an end. "Good, let's get Sean down." You raised your repeater one last time, using your last loaded bullet to shoot the rope, letting Sean fall to the ground with a thud.
     "You know, you're a lot less ugly from that other angle, Arthur," were the first words out of Sean's mouth. You'd missed him and his happy go lucky attitude. "Do I get a hug, Arthur? A warm embrace for a lost brother now found?" Arthur laughed as he walked closer to the Irishman, his hand patting his shoulder. "Nothing means more to me than this gang, the bond we share." He started to trail off. Javier moved over to a tree, leaning up against it. You felt his eyes on you, shadowed by the brim of his hat. He must've thought you were too distracted to notice him. "I would kill for it, I would happily die for it, but in spite of all that, I would've easily left you here to rot if Charles hadn't stopped me." Sean tripped over his own feet as Arthur pushed him away. "It's good to see you're still breathing, Sean." You smiled, removing your hat to fix your hair as he stumbled over to Javier. "The lovely (y/n), never thought I’d see a lady like yourself riding with the boys! Can I get a hug from you?" You smile turned to a smirk. "You're gonna need a bath before I allow you that close." You shooed him away with your hat before placing it back atop your head.
     "Alright we should split up," Arthur stepped in with new orders to follow. "Javier will you escort mr Macguire back to camp, Charles best you ride separately." You watched Javier as he moved closer to Arthur. "What about you two?" He asked, his gaze flicking over to you for a quick second. "We're gonna see what's worth taking here, we'll separate and meet you back at camp as soon as we can." Javier nodded. "Alright. You did good today, (y/n)." He smiled gently at you, before walking Sean over to his horse and mounting up. Arthur placed a hand on your shoulder and walked you away from the loudmouth Irishman, who was already talking Javier's ear off. "So," he started, "was Dutch right?" You shrugged and leaned down to loot the nearest body. "To a degree, I suppose. We seem to have come to a sort of.. acquaintanceship." Arthur whistled for his horse, before looting another body. "Good. Well, the law will be on us soon, we'd best be on our ways. You head back this way," he pointed to the trail you'd rode down the day before, "I'll ride through Strawberry and see you back at camp." You nodded, "sounds good." Arthur mounted up and tipped his hat at you. "Nice working with you again, (y/n). I’ll make sure to mention to Dutch about you riding out with us more.”
With that, you watched him speed up the hill towards the muddy town of Strawberry, leaving you with a smile on your face, as you thought about how your boring, ‘stay at camp’ life, was finally about to change.
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Enjoy the chapter? Consider buying me a coffee to show your appreciation, or tip me whatever you'd like <3
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together in coruscant: part two
pairing: din djarin x anastasia!reader
summary: nine years ago, alderaan and its entire royal family were destroyed. the dowager queen, however, believes that one person may have survived, but she's beginning to lose hope of ever finding her granddaughter, the lost princess of alderaan. enter din djarin, bounty hunter and occasional princess-rescuer. what could go wrong?
warnings: language, mild angst, arguing
word count: 2.9k
find the prologue and part one here!
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9 ABY
“Look, I don’t know what you’re doing here, but I’m not a princess.”
Din rolled his eyes behind the helmet, trying his best to hear her out. She had protested the whole way back to Mos Pelgo and into the cantina, and now she still insisted on her identity. 
She huffed out a sigh. “I didn’t even know there was a princess of Alderaan!”
He doubted that very much. Alderaan’s destruction was a topic of great importance, especially in political circles, and while she kept saying she had grown up in an orphanage, Din was pretty sure even orphanages taught about Alderaan. 
Vanth’s brow slid upwards. Din ignored him.
“I live in the mountains!” she tried. 
“Not anymore,” Vanth quipped. 
Din shot him a glare from behind the helmet. The plan was to sweat her out, to remain silent until she admitted the lie. Damn Vanth and his weakness for pretty girls in ragged clothes. 
Said pretty girl in ragged clothes looked around the room. It was empty; had been for a while, ever since they had walked in. Din was certain the people in this stupid town hated him, or at least his armor. None of them seemed too keen on acknowledging his existence. 
“Okay,” she started, leaning forward. Her elbows rested on the table between them. “There’s probably some reward, right?”
Her voice had lowered significantly. She was almost whispering. Din had hunted enough bounties by now to know she was about to cut a deal; her voice had turned desperate. “I’m happy to pretend for you. I’ll go with you so you can get the reward, but I’ll just pretend.” Vanth must have looked pretty skeptical, because she continued, “It’s been– how many years, did you say? Nine? Nobody’s going to remember what the princess looked like. I’ll go with you, and you can just take the reward.”
He hated to admit it, because it was such a stupid thing to think, but it was almost annoying how much she didn’t want to be a princess. Din didn’t know many girls, had never known many girls, but even he knew that being a princess was one of the Big Dreams for them. Why did this girl want to run away so bad? 
Din was only vaguely aware of her voice. She was arguing with Vanth now, something about fuel costs and 70/30 split. He could feel a headache blooming in the base of his neck. He hadn’t taken off the helmet in a few days, he thought. 
The plan was to sweat her out, remain silent until she admitted the lie.
The chain code– that was the biggest giveaway. Back in the cave, she had allowed him to scan her chain code via an identity card she kept on her person. It was a perfect match. And that’s when she started arguing. 
Din squeezed his eyes shut behind the visor. The last thing he needed was some hotshot runaway lying to his face. He missed his kid. He missed his ship. 
Fuck the plan. Din flattened his gloved palms on the table and pushed himself to standing. His eyes narrowed in the glare that set his usual bounties running, even if they couldn’t see his face. The girl stopped talking. She shivered.
In the back of his head, something screamed at him to back down. This girl had probably been through hell to escape the orphanage, and even more hell within that cave. She didn’t deserve him trying to intimidate her. 
If he were a better man, he might have stopped. Told her the facts simply. Tried to convince her to come with him with kind words and even kinder gestures.
But he wasn’t a better man. “There will be no pretending,” he growled, shoving his conscience aside. “You are the princess. Your chain code leaves no doubt. Your friend, Gar, sold you upstream. You don’t remember your life before 13.” And if he had just stopped there, things might have been okay. But then he said it. “You don’t even have a family to go home to.”
Silence, from all parties present. Then there was a sharp pressure against his side, and he realized that Vanth had hit him. The girl’s eyes had softened and her mouth had fallen into a round o. She slowly removed her elbows from the table and folded in on herself, bowing her head to her chest.
Din’s heart sank, and his chest filled with dread. She looked so tired, so done, and he was suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to… what? She was a princess, and he was a walking piece of metal. He could never be good enough or soft enough to take care of her. They were doomed before he walked into the cave. 
What was he even hoping for? Her nod and understanding? Din opened his mouth to apologize, but she beat him to it.
“I’ll go with you,” she murmured, still tucking her chin into her shoulder. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be difficult.”
“You’re not being difficult,” Vanth said before Din could. “You’re just nervous. That’s completely understandable.”
She nodded, still not making eye contact with either of them. Din slowly sat down and cleared his throat. “We should probably leave soon,” he said, fully aware that it wasn’t enough.
“I can take you guys there on a transport,” Vanth offered. Part of Din wondered if he was only volunteering to protect her from Din’s wrath. If that were true, Din couldn’t even blame him. 
The girl unfolded herself and stood up. Her cheeks didn’t glisten; she hadn’t cried. But her eyes did have an additional shine to them, and he suspected it was because of tears she’d fought hard to hold back. He winced behind the visor.
Vanth pushed his way past Din to stand between him and the girl. The girl. He knew she was the princess, but even in his mind he couldn’t really call her that.
The transport wasn’t large, just big enough for the three of them and maybe one other. Vanth took one of the passenger seats by the girl, forcing Din to pilot. He supposed he deserved it.
The return trip was much the same as his trip there. Lots of sand. The only difference was Vanth’s soft murmurings to the girl, probably trying to comfort her before locking her in the Crest with Din. He really did feel terrible. 
When they reached Bay 3-5, he parked the transport and tried to help her down. She wouldn’t take his hand– wouldn’t even look at him. He tried not to take it personally, even though it was definitely personal. 
Vanth leaned down and enveloped the girl in a warm hug. He whispered something in her ear, making her laugh. It was the first time he’d seen her smile. His chest burned and blistered. He wanted to make her laugh like that. He wanted her to smile like that, not at Vanth, but at him. An unfair thought, really. He had done nothing to indicate he wanted to care about her. In fact, he’d indicated quite the opposite.
Then the moment was over and Vanth was gone, and it was just the two of them, staring at each other. Well, he was staring at her. She was staring at some fixed point directly to the left of his shoulder. She was certainly determined. 
“My ship is in there,” he said, gesturing to Bay 3-5. She nodded, eyes drifting downwards. “You can take the bedroom. I don’t… I don’t usually sleep in there anyways.” She nodded again. He mirrored it and then turned to enter the bay, back to Grogu and the woman with the hair. Peli Motto, he reminded himself.
The girl followed him into the bay, holding her elbows tucked close to her sides. Her gaze darted around furtively, clearly trying to take in everything all at once.
“Patu!”
Din looked up and away from her, barely catching the little green womprat stumbling towards him. His worries fled, and a laugh burst from his throat at the sight. He leaned down to pick him up. 
“There you are!” Peli cried, emerging from behind a crate. “He was just about to get on my nerves. Good thing he’s cute. Don’t suppose you have another one hidden on that ship?” She laughed. “Just kidding. But not really.”
The girl glanced from Din to Peli, confusion painted in her eyes. She didn’t ask for an introduction, and he wasn’t going to make one. Let her be confused; he would explain everything on the ship.
“What do I owe you?” he asked Peli, reaching for the pouch on his belt. 
“Oh, well, 2,000 for the fuel, 3,000 for the repairs, another–”
He handed her the whole pouch. “Will that cover it?” 
Peli didn’t even have to look in it. “Yep. Enjoy your trip, kid,” she said, leaning over Grogu, who smiled and cooed at her. “You ever come back to Mos Eisley, you park here. I’ll watch this little one whenever.”
Din nodded, shifting Grogu to his other arm so that he could fiddle with his vambrace. A loud hiss filled the bay, and the ship’s ramp slowly descended, steam billowing from the machinery. The sound of his boots on the metal echoed through the Crest.
He allowed himself a deep breath. For one moment, it was just him and the kid, on their ship, in their home. The Crest’s sharp metallic scent snuck through the helmet’s air filter and surrounded him within the armor. 
There. A soft footstep behind him. “This is your ship?” she asked. He couldn’t read her tone.
“Yes,” he said, leaning over to set Grogu down.
“And that’s your… kid?”
“Yes.”
“I thought you were… are you… you’re human, right?” 
She sounded worried, and when he turned to look at her fully, she had her bottom lip tucked under her teeth. Her brows were furrowed. It was… endearing, actually. 
“I’m human,” he assured her. She nodded slowly and didn’t say anything else.
Din took that as his cue to go. He raised the entry ramp, and only once it was sealed did he allow himself to remember that now they were sealed in here together for weeks. 
Yeah, weeks. Coruscant was right at the heart of the galaxy, and Tatooine was… not. Couldn’t get much farther from Coruscant than Tatooine. Din began to ascend the ladder to the cockpit. When he was safely seated in the pilot’s chair, he closed his eyes. 
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Down in the cargo bay, the princess was doing the same thing. 
Eyes shut tight, she recalled the only memories she had of her childhood, trying to make sense of it all. There was an old lady, that she remembered. Rain on a windowpane, sliding down slowly. Nurses whispering when they thought she was sleeping. 
Nothing definitive. Nothing solid enough to build a life on. 
She released a weighty sigh and opened her eyes, glancing around the small space. Her gaze snagged on a small lump of beige fabric with a green head and enormous ears peeking out from the top. Grogu, the Mandalorian had called it. A name or a classification?
“Hey, honey,” she cooed, reaching down for it. The baby– for it was a baby, that much she knew for sure– tilted its head to stare at her. Its big black eyes were fixed on her own. 
The baby waddled over to her, but didn’t make any noise. Only when it was safely situated on her lap and in her arms did it suddenly explode into a rapid-fire one-sided conversation. It babbled on and on, leaving her no choice but to nod along and make vague affirming sounds.
With one final noise, the baby stilled. Its head twisted to see the Mandalorian, who had climbed down from wherever he had been. Funny, she thought. In all the commotion of the kid, she hadn’t even noticed the ship taking off.
 “Can we talk?” she asked, gathering every scrap of courage she’d built up in the cave. 
“Yes, of course. Let me put him down for a nap.” The Mandalorian reached for the baby– him– and walked him over to a crib in the corner she hadn’t noticed. The baby cooed a little, but allowed himself to be placed in the pram. The top slid shut. 
He turned to face her. “What did you need?”
She stepped off of the crate she’d been sitting on, and instantly regretted it. Where before she had been able to maintain an air of nonchalance, now she was forced to acknowledge just how intimidating he was. She cleared her throat. “I just wanted to ask how long the trip will be.”
He considered her for a moment. “I can’t say for certain. Without any fuel stops? Two weeks. With fuel and supply stops? Three. Maybe.”
She nodded. “What am I supposed to call you?”
“Mando is fine.”
“You don’t have a name?”
“I have a name.” He didn’t offer it.
She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. He was being so difficult, and for what? His pride? She’d sacrificed hers already. It might be time for him to do the same.
“We need some ground rules,” she said. “I don’t want to spend the next two and a half weeks avoiding you, and I’m sure you feel the same way. We don’t have to be friends, but–”
“We’re not friends.” Of course. “You’re cargo.”
A wry smile stretched across her face. “Right. You don’t have to convince me, you know? Just yourself.”
He planted his hands on his hips. “I just want to make sure there’s no unfair expectations. Don’t look for friendship from me, and I won’t look for friendship from you.”
“Shouldn’t be a problem,” she bit out.
“Great.”
She could feel the rift between them widening. It kind of hurt. In another world, she might have really liked him. He wasn’t very talkative, sure, but he obviously cared about his kid. And maybe Vanth, too. 
“I don’t understand why you don’t like me.”
He didn’t say anything for a long moment. Didn’t move, either. His visor remained trained on her face, never wavering for even a second. “Not everyone has to like you, kid.”
“Don’t call me that.” She knew she was sneering; couldn’t stop it. She hated nothing more than being talked down to, especially when the one doing the condescending was the one in the wrong. “You hated me first. You don’t have to explain yourself– I’m not going to demand an answer. But don’t patronize me about my age. I know damn well you’re not much older than me.”
Actually she had no idea how old he was. He didn’t sound old, but then again he had a vocoder on. She figured maybe it was masking a youthful timbre.
Mando scoffed and shook his head. “You are a kid! You know nothing of the world! This is your first foray into adult society, and you’re already fucking it up by acting like you know better than me.” He stepped closer to her, forcing her to tilt her head back to hold his gaze. “You are a kid, and I don’t respect or trust you. My respect and trust are earned, not given.”
“Well, maybe I don’t want your fucking respect! Or your fucking trust! Have you ever considered that?”
He forced out a harsh laugh. “Yeah, keep telling yourself that. If I don’t trust you, how am I supposed to let you free around the ship? Maybe I should lock you in the bedroom.”
And with those words, the heated air suddenly chilled. Her hands curled into fists at her sides. She wouldn’t punch him; she knew she didn’t have the physical strength to do so, but she could shut down. Refuse to speak to him.
It was like he could see the plan forming in her mind. “I’m so sorry,” he blurted out. “That was not okay.”
She arched a brow and shoved past him silently. There it was. The first apology he’d given to her. She intended to ignore this, and the next one, too. The room with the cot beckoned to her. She wasn’t exactly sleepy, but the prospect of locking herself in there for the next two and a half weeks was looking better and better with everything he said. Even if that’s what he wanted. 
He followed her over; of course he did. But he didn’t stop her when she opened the door, and he didn’t stop her when she closed it. She could hear his measured breaths. 
“I know you’re probably upset,” he began. She rolled her eyes. “And I’m not going to force you to talk to me. I am, however, sorry about the way things have gone between us. I want us to not have tension. I want you to enjoy your time on the Crest. I know you’re not ready right now, and I understand if you never will be.” He paused, and she found herself leaning forward, waiting for his next words. “I don’t want to lock you in here. I’m sorry for even thinking it.”
And then he was gone.
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a/n: thanks for the patience, friends! back on a regular posting schedule (hopefully). don't forget to like, reblog, and let me know what you think in the comments!
also my inbox and asks are open for requests or if you just want to talk about my works<33
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PEDRO PASCAL as JOEL MILLER THE LAST OF US (2023— )
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THE LAST OF US | 1.01 “When You’re Lost in the Darkness” THE LAST OF US | 1.09 “Look for the Light”
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ASHLEY JOHNSON & BELLA RAMSEY as ANNA & ELLIE WILLIAMS THE LAST OF US | Season One
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#Grogu looks so proud of himself, I’m crying
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be like me series masterlist
[slow-burn. eventual smut, 18+. MDNI. series complete.]
* indicates smut.
↬      ❝  your hands shove hard into his breastplate, fingers immediately aching at the impenetrable hardness of the armor. “just to be clear, I did not do this for you.” you spit coldly, glaring upwards against the glare of the sun. the Mandalorian normally stands more than a foot taller than you, but soon he’s so close that you see yourself in his visor, a menacing finger pointing down the bridge of your nose. at his words, your whole body trembles. “do not put your hands on me.” his voice is threatening, deep, low. “ever." ❞
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part i - salvation
part ii - gratitude
part iii - ka’ra
part iv - compromise *
part v - trust
part vi - promise*
part vii - unforgiven
part viii - vengeance* 
[series is complete!]
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din djarin x f!reader
summery: Mando is on Jakku after a shootout, he finds a young mechanic needing work. A story of two lost souls finding their way... accross the galaxy.
ratings: NC-17/Explicit/18+ (* means smut)
this is my take on Din and my story doesn’t follow the show as far as order of events or accuracy
chapter i - don’t push your luck
chapter ii - escape
chapter iii - not alone
chapter iv - use your words*
chapter v - for me*
chapter vi - primal
chapter vii - the crew
chapter viii - ner*
chapter ix - back to you
chapter x - more than death* ~ finale
also on wattpad
inspo board
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