#the bridge crew is bored which means it is time for some harmless hazing (with a somewhat pleasant ulterior motive!)

[ichayalovesyou]

A Pike x reader request: Captain Pike catches an ensign (the reader) red handed in the middle of their Enterprise Bingo - author's choice how Pike reacts!

Now THAT sounds fun! Let’s a go 😎

Yellow Jacket Blues (Platonic Pike x Reader)

Rating: PG-13 (language)

Word Count: 877

Content: SFW, platonic, shenanigans, GN!Reader, Sciences!Reader, Ensign!Reader, Dad Mode!Pike (derogatory), Bingo Trauma

Teaser: The most dreaded, difficult, and dangerous of all the Enterprise Bingo tasks was upon you, but you HAD to do it. Welcome to the greatest Bingo challenge of all, “sit in the Captain’s Chair” good luck!

This was the most dangerous thing you had ever done. The most dangerous thing you would ever do in the history of your Starfleet career even.

More dangerous than an unsanctioned space walk.

More dangerous than a stun duel.

This, was the Captain’s Chair.

Every single Ensign in your department warned you about it. Some had chickened out and not completed the bingo chart, or given up on completing it afterward. Those who had gotten caught had a haunted look in their eyes when they spoke.

You do NOT want to be caught in Captain Christopher Pike’s chair on the bridge. They say part of you will never ever leave. That no matter when you decided to try it, he would be there. He would catch you.

It was strange, the Captain seemed amicable enough, certainly not egotistical. He raised his voice less than most of your superior officers, which you supposed was almost everyone. But the point still stood.

What made sitting in Pike’s chair such an ordeal?

What did he do that had scarred so many an Ensign over the years?

If you were careful, maybe you would never find out.

You had a plan

1. Make sure it was a very slow voyage so that the Bridge has the lightest compliment possible.

2. Triple check the duty roster

3. Make sure the Captain going to be elsewhere (without being weird DO NOT BE WEIRD ABOUT IT)

4. Check the roster again just to be sure

5. Sneak in during the Alpha-Delta shift change shuffle. Specifically when Senior Staff gets swapped over.

6. Swallow your fear, and possibly your dignity.

7. Cop a squat for the minimum five seconds required for the Bingo to be valid.

8. Get out before everyone even finishes taking their seats

9. Swipe the footage, upload it to your Bingo data pad, which will be completely wiped of all evidence upon list completion as is tradition.

10. Mission success!

The execution would have been absolutely flawless, had the Captain not left a stray data pad on the bridge halfway through step three.

“Number One I almost forgot to mention-oh” the Captain caught sight of you immediately, your ass hovering just above the cushion of The Chair, he crossed his arms and started to laugh.

“Ortegas, how much time do we got before we arrive at Starbase 6?”

“Hours, sir.” She replied with a mischievous grin that you could only describe as ‘oh kid, you are a bout to Get It.’

“Congratulations Ensign Y/N, you just signed up for the Command Track!”

Oh gods, oh no, oh gods no.

No no no no no no.

You were in sciences and ONLY for the science didn’t he see the blue? S-C-I-E-N-C-E-S not Command! Nope! N O P E!

You thought you’d made it abundantly clear you weren’t ambitious. You just wanted to get your damn work done and zip around though space oh no oh no oH nO.

It was time to leave, as in right now, you were leaving now.

“Oh by all means Ensign stay in your seat, or really, my seat but we’ll get into that later. Bridge crew’s heard all this before, and believe me, they’ll be paying attention to see if you are paying attention.” the Captain smirked, leaning on the banister.

So one of the worst moments of your life began.

If he hadn’t been quizzing you every fifteen minutes or so on what he’d just said, you could have just zoned out.

But he could not even spare you that suffering.

Two hours of describing how to climb and navigate Starfleet’s command ranks in excruciating detail, confusing food metaphors, and side anecdotes about horses later. The Captain finally picks up the data pad he left behind.

If your brain wasn’t leaking out of your ears, you might have wondered if the data pad being left behind had been a ruse. That you had somehow been found out and deliberately doomed to this failure as some cruel trick of this accursed and unforgiving universe.

“So, in conclusion Ensign Y/N, don’t sit in the Captain’s chair unless you mean it, especially when it’s mine.”

“Permission to leave sir?” you replied, numbly.

He feigned the act of thinking about it, or at least you hoped he was.

“… Eh, sure. Why not?”

“Thank you sir.” You stood up, and meandered toward the turbolift.

“Hope the bingo was worth it.” someone said quickly under their breath.

That could NOT have been the Captain. Right? Right?!

�� Could it?

“Sir?” you turned around, cautious that any questions might trigger another long winded dissertation.

“What? Go. I’m sure your superior officer is gonna have a problem with you if you stick around much longer.”

As you entered the lift, you heard the beginnings of chatter between the command duo.

���I don’t think you’re doing much to bolster command track applicants with that speech Chris.” Una remarked amusedly.

“Hey, the good ones always come back looking for more. It’s determination. You don’t want Captains who aren’t willing to listen.”

Well, you could tell him one thing you-

…

You… didn’t really actually know if you would be coming back or not.

Were you?