#the boys whump
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gaywineauntsstuff · 29 days ago
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Dick ‘has been a barista like 90 times over 50 years of comics Grayson’ can absolutely prepare whatever drink you want him too. He can also guess/ judge what your go to order is.
With the bats
He can guess what WILL be there favorite even if they’ve never tried it before
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Bruce on 13 mins of sleep fucking exhausted but even Alfred isn’t giving him shit bc they HAVE TO crack this case: hrn
Dick plopping a take away coffee cup in front of him: DRINK
Bruce goes through a quick is this my son or a shapeshifter, mind control, demon situation before deciding fuck it we ball and taking a sip: this… tastes different
Dick: yeah
Bruce ‘actual freak who grumbles when coffee isn’t bitter enough’ Wayne: this is good
Dick: yeah it’s a red eye
Bruce: hrn
Dick: yeah no problem B
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Jay (just got done fighting aliens and needs to get back to whatever he was doing before) : get me a Drink as black as my soul
Dick: sure
Dick brings back the drink from the kitchen
Dick: strawberry iced matcha with oat milk right here for you
Jay: what the fuck Goldie
Dick: I saw you sobbing at the notebook a week ago don’t play tough with me and don’t fucking lie we both know you like tea more.
Jay sputtering: Don’t PLAY TOUGH? BROTHER I PUT A BUNCH OF HEADS A BAG AND MADE THE UNDERWORLD INTO MY BITCH
Dick: yes yes Jay now go drink your tea and run along
(It is the best fucking thing he’s ever tried, bought a matcha making kit as soon as he got him, has denied it ever since but Dick doesn’t buy it and keeps making him the drink)
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Tim:
Dick:
Tim:
Dick:
Tim:
Dick: you’re a heathen
Tim: proudly
Dick: fine take the monster and go OH MY GOD
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Steph wincing at the taste of a latte: there’s something seriously wrong with this place, no matter how much sugar I add it’s just bitter
Dick: yeah Steph it’s bc they burn the beans to get more use of em
Dick: you could add all the cream and milk you want it’s not gonna do shit
Steph: ugh this is the only coffee spot on my campus in so screwed
Dick pulling out a takeaway coffee cup: don’t worry I brought you some from home
Steph: Jesus fuck this is delicious
Dick: upside down sweet almond latte with caramel and double espresso
Steph: should’ve married into the family with Tim god damn
Dick: Cass is still an option
Steph: what
Dick: what
——————————-
Dick:
Duke:
Dick:
Duke:
Dick: you’re one of Tim’s heathens aren’t you
Duke: just because I like energy drinks more doesn’t mean I don’t LIKE coffee
Dick grumbling: should’ve left you with the cops
Duke: what was that? I didn’t hear you
Dick thrusting the coffee cup at him: just take it, end my suffering
Duke: oh damn that’s good… what is it
Dick:…. It’s Vietnamese style coffee
Duke: fuck I might I have to switch, Jesus that’s good
Dick vaguely smug: another victory
—————
Dick: hey Cass
Cass: busy… like you should be
Dick: yeah, yeah I have like 6 mins of free time left before I have to meet up with Robin (Tim) for an op
Dick: anyway i made you strawberry hot chocolate
Cass: this isn’t coffee
Dick: it has 180 milligrams of caffeine
Cass: how?
Dick: don’t ask difficult questions
Dick: where the hell did she go?
Dick: is this how everyone else feels about us?
——————
Damian: I want coffee
Dick: you’re an infant, no
Damian: IM 15 GRAYSON
Dick: a certifiable baby
Damian: I hate you
Dick: you would hate me more if you stunted your growth and ended up Tim sized
Tim: HEY!
Damian: this is true… apologies Richard
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asidian · 7 months ago
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Just when I thought this show couldn't break my heart again, I caught this little detail on my rewatch.
When Charles is in that lake getting rocks pelted at him, it's full dark. We see a light that's probably meant to be the moon through the trees, already a ways above the horizon.
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But when Charles saves that boy from the bullies earlier the same day, it looks like it's late afternoon, judging by the light and the shadows.
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If we go by the change in lighting, probably at least three hours have elapsed between when Charles saves that boy and when he finally escapes the bullies himself.
It makes sense, honestly. Those rocks pelted at him, slowed down by the water, would never have been enough to cause internal bleeding. They would have had to hurt him before he ever got in the lake.
In the comics, Charles is tortured extensively by the bullies who end up killing him.
If we go by the lighting and the implications here, it's the same in the show. We just only see the very start and the very end of it on-screen.
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runraerun · 6 months ago
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Steddie Amnesia Fic: 1/3
-> Part 2 | Part 3 | AO3
cw: lots of head trauma/brain injury/recovery stuff.
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Steve wakes up in the hospital with someone snoring loudly on his leg, mouth open, drool getting soaked up into the scratchy hospital blanket over him.
Steve just stares.
It’s… Freddie? No, that’s not right... Eddie! Eddie ‘the freak’ Munson, known delinquent and drug dealer… resting his head on Steve’s lap.
What the hell…?
Steve reaches up with a wobbly, IV-ridden hand to clumsily pat along his head, but instead of meeting messy hair, he meets a thick wad of bandages. He flinches when he hits an especially tender spot.
It’s not much but it’s enough to wake Eddie Munson up with a jolt, and a random jumble of words that sounded something like, “the dice have spoken!”, but Steve can’t be sure. Not with the sharp ringing still going off inside his skull.
“Steve? Steve! Oh thank fuck, Jesus H. Christ, you scared the ever loving shit out of me.” Eddie stood and grabbed at one of Steve’s shoulders, shaking him enough to elicit another wince.
“Oh, damn, sorry. I’m like a fucking bull in a china shop here, man. There’s way too much expensive, breakable shit here. I’m not used to it. I accidentally ripped your IV out the other day... Fuck. The nurses hate my guts.” Eddie chuckles, eyes wide and solely on Steve, talking like they were old friends or something.
But that can’t be right. Steve doesn’t remember saying more than two words to Eddie Munson during the entire time he knew he even existed, and even then it was just to discuss weed prices.
“For real though, talk to me Harrington, how you feelin’, hm? Loopy? Gonna yak again? Apparently they got you on the good stuff,” Eddie flicks a liquid filled bag hanging above Steve and shakes his head, “but they keep cutting you back. Dicks.”
Steve’s eyes try and follow Eddie’s erratic movements but his eyes ache the more he moves them. He blinks against the harsh fluorescents and tries to open his mouth. And thank God, Eddie Munson seems to take this as a sign and shut up.
“What happened?” Steve finally croaks.
One of Eddie’s brows jumps. “You don’t remember?”
Steve gives his head a small shake. Did Eddie hit him with his car or something? Is that why he’s sleeping at his bedside and talking to him like they’re buddies?
“You fell, Stevie.” Eddie makes a whistling noise and mimicks something falling with his hands, then makes a crashing sound when his hand lands on Steve’s bandaged head. “Like a coconut out of a tree. Landed right on that big ol’ melon of yours. There was blood everywhere. It scared the shit out of me and the kids. Especially when you wouldn’t wake up.”
Steve’s throat feels like sandpaper, but he manages to swallow, his throat clicking as he did, and gets out, “The kids?”
Eddie seems to notice, even before Steve can ask, and reaches for a water bottle with a straw already in it, and half chewed. Eddie’s own, no doubt. Against his better judgment, Steve accepts it when Eddie offers it to him. He was just so goddamn thirsty.
“Don’t worry, they’re all fine. They were just shaken up. I’ll radio the little gremlins and give ‘em the good news in a sec.” Eddie’s smile falters a little, seeming lost for words. Like he wants to say something, but can’t quite get it out.
Steve finishes swallowing his few, meager gulps of water before he asks, “What is it?”
“Don’t freak out—“ Eddie begins.
And, okay, that’s exactly the thing you tell someone before they freak the fuck out. Steve’s stomach is subject to a growing, sluggish panic. “What? Dude, tell me—“
“It’s your hair.” Eddie seems genuinely pained at having to deliver this crushing of a blow to Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington.
Steve can hear the beeping from the monitors he’s hooked up to begin to pick up speed as his heart begins racing. “My hair?”
“It’s okay! It’s okay, it’ll grow back! They just had to take a little bit off where the stitches went, you can hardest notice it—well, that’s a fucking lie, you could spot that landing strip from space—but I think if you part it to the other side it won’t look so… y’know.”
“No, dude, I don’t know.” Steve says, eyes wide, brows pinched.
“Like a drunk toddler took a pair of rusty kitchen shears to your mop.” Eddie says, huffing out a nervous sort of laugh.
Steve groans, half due to the bastardization that’s happened to his favorite feature, and half due to the migraine that’s looming on his horizon.
“You’re still pretty, Stevie, don’t worry.” Eddie grins, eyebrows raised, like he’s trying to be cute or something.
That weirdest part is, it’s kind of working.
Steve must have hit his head really, really hard.
The doctors eventually come in and perform all sorts of tests, and he tries his best to comply with them and jump through whatever hoops they make him jump through. He just wants to get the hell out of this hospital bed.
Unfortunately for him, Steve hadn’t exactly aced any of the tests.
In fact, he had failed most of them pretty fucking dismally. He couldn’t remember the date, who the president was, where he lived, couldn’t say the alphabet backwards… although, who the fuck can do that? He stands by that failing grade.
A couple of CAT scans later and it’s clear that Steve’s brain got smacked around a little more than they had originally thought.
Among a pile of other stuff, the thing that sticks out the most to Steve is his diagnosis of something called short term amnesia. They explain it like the past 2 to 3 years has just been wiped from his brain. The last clear thing he really remembers is getting the shit beat out of him by Billy, and then it all sort of gets jumbled. Fragmented. The doctors explain that this is pretty typical for head trauma patients.
He’s a head trauma patient, now.
It’s normal for memories of trauma to link, creating spiderwebs throughout your brain.
Which, that’s great. So when he gets beat up again, there’s always a chance his brain will try and erase his easy, happy years and revert back to a trauma default. Really helpful brain, thank you.
And the thing that sucks the most is that his years after the Billy beat down sound pretty great. Traumatizing, sure, but great. Once the Upside Down shit was locked up, with every scary nightmare fuel monster inside of it, life in Hawkins didn’t sound all that terrible.
He lived with Robin, who’s his best friend, (his ‘platonic soulmate’ even, as she explains it), he’s working a retail job, (also with Robin), and coaches the high school basketball team during the evenings. He’d even been talking with Hopper about joining the force.
Well, he was. Now he’s more or less useless, working full time at re-learning his life, along with a couple of fine motor skills that got glitchy after the fall.
And then there’s Eddie.
Eddie, who’s apparently also his best friend, only their soulmate link isn’t platonic at all.
The strange and weirdly exciting reality was that Steve Harrington had woken up from his 3-day medically induced coma with not only a full fledged relationship, but a boyfriend.
It’s a lot to digest, and part of him still doesn’t even know how to process it, but hearing the stories being told around him, seeing how Eddie is practically living in his and Robin’s two-bedroom apartment, and just… the way Eddie looks at him?
It’s with love—Steve can see it. Feel it. Eddie’s practically vibrating with it.
What’s even crazier is that when Steve looks at Eddie, he feels the exact same way.
It’s like looking at the stars. Steve’s heart skips a beat when those dark eyes of hit him, and Steve wants nothing more than to make Eddie smile—no, better than that, to make him laugh, just so he can watch Eddie’s adam’s apple bob up and down and hear that manic, unhinged cackle. It’s downright delightful. Steve loves being in relationships like this, where it’s all consuming.
Steve may not have the memories of falling in love with Eddie, but he has all the feelings.
No one talks about it with Steve, of course. Maybe they think it’s going to be too heavy for him to process that he’s into dudes now, but Steve isn’t a big dumb baby. Sure, he’s got a pretty severe brain injury, and yeah, alright, it takes him a minute to remember people’s names sometimes, and he has a harder time controlling his emotions, but he isn’t a complete invalid. Only a little bit of one. He’s working on it, dammit.
And Eddie is so painfully, frustratingly patient with him. He never pushes. He’s clearly letting Steve retrieve his memories before he makes a move, because despite his whole outward appearance, Eddie Munson is a goddamn gentleman. He never so much as reaches for Steve’s hands, but Steve can tell by the way their pinkies graze when they watch movies late at night that he wants to.
Steve can tell by the way Eddie teases him, the way he’s there with him through his recovery, that he doesn’t ever make Steve feel stupid when he asks the same questions over and over again, when he cries at the drop of a hat or when he gets sort of confused about the lay out of his apartment—he doesn’t care about that of that.
Because he’s in love with Steve. It’s so painfully romantic, it brings a painful lump to Steve’s throat every time he thinks too much about it.
The two of them are driving to one of Steve’s therapy sessions, Eddie in the driver's seat, Steve in the passengers, listening to a low racket of some kind of heavy metal music. Eddie always keeps the volume low now, for Steve.
He’s just been so intensely good about everything that Steve needs to try and do something good for Eddie in return. He needs Eddie to know that there’s a light at the end of this tunnel that they’re both currently lost in.
“I’m sorry about this, y’know.” Steve says when they finally pull up the building that has ‘Brain Injury Recover Center’ written on the front. So all the boys and girls with scrambled eggs for brains know where to converge.
“Don’t worry about it, man. I work the evening shifts, remember? My days are free.” Eddie explains, and Steve wonders if he’s had to be told this bit of information a couple of times now. Sometimes it takes a few times before something sticks to his brain now. His short term memory is still majorly flighty. But no, Steve remembers that Eddie bartends at a local bowling alley most evenings. He’s gone a few times. Not to bowl, of course—too much hand eye coordination involved—but just to hang out with Eddie. He’s pretty decent at Ms. Pac-Man though.
Steve shakes his head. He knows his mind must have wandered because there’s been a lull where no one’s spoken. Eddie never seems to care about that though. “I don’t mean about the drive. I was talking about… y’know.”
“Wha’dy’mean?” Eddie mumbles as he backs into his parking space, hand on the back of Steve’s headrest.
Steve sighs and decides to just come out and say it: “I mean having your boyfriend forget everything about you and your relationship. I just… that must be really tough.”
Everything in Eddie Munson comes to a jarring halt, hand frozen over where he’s turned to ignition off.
It’s sort of unnerving—Eddie is always moving, fidgeting. Damn near bouncing off the walls. But now it’s like someone hit the poor guy with a freeze ray gun.
Steve chuckles softly as he reaches out and touches Eddie’s arm, giving him a playful jostle, to loosen him up a little, “it’s okay, Eddie. I know. You don’t have to keep going easy on me. I’m gay! Or, bi-sexual. Whatever.” Steve shrugs, “see? Not falling apart. I can handle being in love with another dude. You don’t need to keep babying me.”
The side of Eddie’s mouth twitches into a downturned smile that he seems to be trying to hide.
“I know, I know. Not just any dude.” Steve rolls his eyes, a smile still firmly on his face. He takes Eddie’s hand from the steering wheel, and Eddie seems to watch it go in a detached sort of awe. Steve wonders if Eddie’s proud of him for being so cool with it all. “In love with you.”
“Steve, I don’t think—
“Wait, just let me finish.” Steve asks, and Eddie blinks and works on closing his mouth. Knows it’s important to let Steve get his thoughts out quickly, lest they be lost to the giant black hole inside of his beat-up brain now. “I know that I don’t remember any of the important stuff with us. Our first date, or our first kiss or, y’know, any of our other first firsts. So maybe it feels like you’re cheating on the old Steve with me? But… Eddie, I know it’s crazy but even though my brain forgot all of the specifics; my heart didn’t. I look at you, and it’s all there. I’m still so into you, dude. I can feel it, even though I don’t remember how I got here. I’m in l—“
“Steve! Stevestevesteve wait, holy shit—!” Eddie’s eyes snap up from his intense stare at the place where their hands are linked. “Steve—”
“Yeah?” Steve prompts when Eddie doesn’t seem to be able to find the words. He runs his thumb gently over Eddie’s knuckles. It feels so nice to finally be able to hold his hand again. They fit together so well, and Steve wonders briefly if it’s some kind of muscle memory.
Eddie opens his mouth a few more times before he remembers how to make the words come out.
“Steve. Buddy. We’re… we’re not dating.”
Steve’s face falls, and he can feel a lump form in his throat, but he keeps a firm hold of Eddie’s warm hand in his own. “Yeah, I know, I know. We haven’t had any time to be a couple. And it’s probably been torture for you, man. You’re so busy taking care of me and making sure I don’t freak out over everything that you’ve clearly been neglecting your own hierarchy of needs.”
Eddie raises a brow.
Steve chuckles, “Shut up. It’s a therapy term.”
Eddie laughs in his throat. “Steve, you gotta slow down and listen to me.”
He turns his shoulders so that he’s fully facing Steve while he reaches his free hand over and tugs at one of his earlobes. “Got your hearing ears on?”
Steve rolls his eyes, but he nods just the same.
“We… we weren’t dating before your accident,” Eddie speaks slowly, his voice warm, gentle. “Hell, I didn’t even know you were, y’know, into dudes like that. Much less me.”
Something throbs dully behind Steve’s eyes. It’s the start of a migraine—the one that makes it hard to process much of anything. Steve squints, trying to make sense of what Eddie’s saying. “…you’re not my boyfriend?”
Eddie shakes his head very, very slowly. “No.”
Steve snatches his hand back like he’s only just now noticed how burning hot Eddie’s hand is.
He settles back in his seat, staring out the front window. The sounds from the outside world are muffled, and everything feels far away and sort of… Made up. Just like everything he’d imagined was going on between him and Eddie. Not real.
He feels painfully detached from reality. Unmoored. Maybe this was the disassociation thing the doctor mentioned might happen…
“Are you sure?” Steve asks, risking another glance over to Eddie, who hasn’t taken his eyes off him for a second.
“Pretty fuckin’ sure.” Eddie snorts.
“Oh, God. This is… I’m—sorry. I’m so stupid. Fuck, I gotta—“ Steve suddenly attacks the door handle with a clumsy fury that has his hand fumbling with the handle for way too long. Fucking busted up, bruised as fuck fucking brain-!
“Steve, it’s okay, dude,” Eddie says from behind Steve, but that’s easy for him to say; he didn’t just humiliate himself in front of his not-boyfriend, definitely-crush, possibly ex-friend—“Steve, wait!”
Steve flees the van on unsteady feet, not daring to look back.
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yet-another-heathen · 6 months ago
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On conditioned whumpees...
Y'know, I think one of the things that people get wrong with conditioned whumpees is their rules. Specifically, when a whumpee was in long term captivity/training and they later get released or escape.
Most people write them as latching onto a caretaker or new whumper, and begging for new rules so they know they're doing something right. A new set of laws to live by, a new framework to behave to.
And that's... not really how conditioning works.
Conditioning means automatic reactions. Your body doing something that was trained into you without consulting your brain first.
There is no decision making. There is no choice. The trigger hits, and you are immediately performing the correct action regardless of anything else.
You're told to kneel? Your knees have already hit the ground. You're supposed to be standing in one part of the house when a certain noise is made? You've launched into movement before you even realize what you heard.
These rules are woven into the fabric of your body. And they are insurmountable. The conditioning overrides emotion, internal conflict, hesitation, beliefs, wants... everything.
Your whumpee may very well hate what is being done to them, and after the moment has passed they're cursing themself and their whumper. They're still a person on the inside. And that person is still very much alive. Most of the time, they will have some level of awareness that what's being done to them is wrong. They'll be angry. They'll be hurt. And they will hate that there is nothing they can do about it.
But the next time that trigger occurs, the response still hits them exactly the same.
So now take your whumpee out of that situation. They ran away, were rescued, were sold. They got out. Now they're with new people, a new caretaker, a new whumper. Or they're on their own and trying to make their own way in the world.
But those conditioned responses are still there.
There's no turning them off. You don't just replace them with new rules. They are in your every fibre. They have been built into the very framework of who you are.
The next time someone says the word "kneel", your knees are on the ground again. No matter where you are, or who you're with. The response happens before you can stop it. If they don't know why, everyone looks at you like you're insane. And you feel like you are.
Deconditioning is an agonizing process that takes more effort than I can even begin to describe to someone who's never experienced it.
Every time they hit that trigger, that response will still be there. Over, and over, and over, and over.
Breaking those rules down takes YEARS. And it is a constant effort that the whumpee has to choose to undergo every single time. Progress is measured milimeter by milimeter. You're told to kneel, and you kneel. You're told to kneel, and your mind catches up with the fact that you already did it— but a little sooner than it did before. Then a split second sooner. Then as you're doing it. Then you feel the impulse just before your knees hit the ground. Then you have a split-second of resistance before you go down. On and on and on and on, inching toward progress despite the fact that you're fighting with all your might. And that progress is anything but linear.
You don't just start obeying new rules. You don't latch on to your caretaker's new way of doing things and drop everything that you were conditioned to do before. These rules don't just get replaced.
Conditioning is not a belief system. It's a flinch response. Programmed deeper than the instincts you were born with.
You can be ordered not to obey the old command, and moments later when the trigger comes, you will anyway. Because in conditioning, the action comes before the choice.
These rules, these laws of your existence, come above everything else. And if your new whumper wants to replace them, they are going to have to beat the new rules into you so often and so severely that the pain becomes stronger than the old conditioning. At which point, the newly desired response will very, very slowly start to take over.
You're not swapping out new rules. You're layering new, worse conditioning on top of the old. And your brain will spend time stuck in that split-second between both responses before one finally grows stronger than the other. And even then, the change will not happen quickly.
That is what your conditioned whumpee is up against. That is what makes it such a horrible—HORRIBLE— and powerful tool.
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kaciart · 9 months ago
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Accidental Cryotherapy: Falling through a frozen lake / Hypothermia
Collab with @asidian scenes from their fic Shelter From The Cold
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whumpski · 4 months ago
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Boy Kills World (2023)
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thisgameissonintendo · 11 months ago
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ᴅᴇᴀᴅ ʙᴏʏ ᴅᴇᴛᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇꜱ | ᴇᴅᴡɪɴ ᴘᴀʏɴᴇ, ᴇᴘɪꜱᴏᴅᴇ 8
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asidian · 10 months ago
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Alright. It is time. Buckle up.
Why you should be watching Dead Boy Detectives: the targeted-specifically-at my-readers edition.
Meet the leads, our two ghost boys:
Edwin Payne: Fussy, repressed intellectual type from the Edwardian era. Exceedingly gay for his partner and best friend. Tortured in hell for seventy years on a technicality because he was ritually sacrificed as a prank gone wrong. Endearingly awful at people and dealing with emotions or his own wants.
Charles Rowland: Impulsive, people-pleasing wildcard from the 80s. Heart eyes 24/7 at his best friend but has zero self-awareness. Badly abused by his asshole of a father. Beaten to death because he saved a kid from bullies. Endearingly awful at sorting his own emotions or talking about his problems.
Some highlights:
/slaps hood you can fit so much trauma in these two
Both leads get sobbing breakdowns that happen on screen. The actors are incredible at crying
Both leads get much-needed hugs
The absolute devotion between the two of them. The shared history that lives in their dialogue and how they work together like people who have been each other's Most Important Person for literal decades
I mean, I'm talking in-canon Orpheus and Eurydice reference level of devotion here
The protective way Charles puts himself physically between Edwin and damn near every threat in the show
They're just fun together. Their interactions and banter and how they work as a team is a delight
Their shared plot arc literally involves them learning to talk to each other and communicate more so that they can be there for one another about their respective issues
The symbolism. God. They are metaphorically and literally one another's light in the darkness
But what about stuff that isn't the main duo? Just wait, there's more:
This show is unabashedly, unapologetically queer. It's there in the text and the subtext. The whole show lives and breathes it
So many good, complex, well-written female characters. The Bechdel test gets blown straight out of the water in episode one and they never look back. Headstrong amnesiac psychic learning to be a better person! Quirky meta commentary matchmaker! Cynical lesbian butcher! Delightfully sadistic witch! They are all amazing.
[audience voice] But I'm here for the hurt/comfort. How can I whump ghosts? Worry not, my friends. Canon has you covered. Not only are there ways, there are ways that happen on-screen. The hurt/comfort and rescue are also on-screen. Yes, it is amazing
Absolute chaos, really cool supernatural cases and creatures, a surprising amount of humor, charming writing, and a cast that absolutely nails it on the acting and chemistry
There is an extremely suggestive trickster type who is also the king of cats. He's a cat in human form. He hits on Edwin nonstop. Charles gets blisteringly jealous
All of the leads have well-thought-through, fully developed, emotional character arcs. They're all messy and flawed and sometimes lash out in their pain, but at turns can be incredibly supportive and kind and loyal
A character who is a crow who is also a boy, who is tortured by his witch/creator and also is crushing hard on one of the leads
There are so many incredible details in the setting, costume choices, prop decisions, etc. that you only catch after you know what it's laying the groundwork for. The level of care that went into this show is phenomenal
It's only eight episodes. The time investment barrier to entry could not possibly be lower
Anyway, tl;dr, if any of this sounds appealing to you, you should give this show a watch.
Dead Boy Detectives is well worth your time. It's easily my favorite show in years.
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mischefous · 9 months ago
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OOGHHHH- man this fic, this fic I come back to very often to re-read. especially chapter 2. When FanJoyJuly was announced I was like this one. this is the fic I wanna draw for.
the whump, the emotion, the recovery was so painful but so rewarding. everything that was described was so tangible. I could feel everything Four was experiencing in such heart-wrenching detail. I felt the unbridled fear of the Chain when they were helping him through everything. this is one of my top favorite fics in my little hoard that I love coming back to.
just be mindful of the tags in this fic. but give it a read! IT'S SO FREAKING GOOD! thank you to @cluelessmoose for this amazing fic💙
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kaciart · 9 months ago
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Day 5 - Stealing my breath (give it back): “I'll count, you just breathe.”
imagine if his mom died and passed over
no unfinished business
maybe he always thought he'd get a chance to talk to her as her unfinished business
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breezy-cheezy · 1 year ago
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No. 25: “You’re not delivering a perfect body to the grave.”
Storm | Buried Alive
This part really struck me, and I wanted to draw it! Luffy is just trying to protect his little family, and while the Lapins nearly got them killed, he still helps pull one out of the snow....because he recognizes they're trying to protect their family too. And I love that ;v;
BASICALLY A PANEL REDRAW here's the panel
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plo-koons-favorite-padawan · 4 months ago
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“Hi, baby”
Ref:
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From Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir’s Moulin Rouge number in the 2018 Winter Olympics, featuring Ewan McGregor singing!
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thisgameissonintendo · 10 months ago
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ᴅᴇᴀᴅ ʙᴏʏ ᴅᴇᴛᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇꜱ | ᴇᴅᴡɪɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄʜᴀʀʟᴇꜱ + ᴡʜᴜᴍᴘ
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kennahjune · 1 year ago
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Steddie
I’m joining the s3 steddie train :D
Steve was late. He was so late and so dead. Robin was going to kill him— he’d never make it out of Scoops Ahoy alive.
This was his thought process after dropping Will Lucas and Max off at Mikes. This was also his thought process the entirety of the way to Scoops while he shoved his way through the mall.
The moment he entered the small shop Robins eyes locked on him in a glare. Steve barely gave her a second before he was going to the back room to get ready for his shift.
He heard the back room door open behind him.
“You’re—“
“24 minutes late I know,” he said as calmly as he could while trying to relax his breathing.
“Yeah and—“
“And you get an extra 25 minutes for your break, yes Robin I know!”
Steve finally closed his employee cubby and turned to look at Robin. “Look. Im sorry I was so late today but Will, Lucas and Max are assholes when they’re being petty and they needed a ride to Mikes cause all the others were busy! I’ll take closing shift today to if you’re really that mad.”
Robin stared at him angrily from the doorway. “Fine.” She uncrossed her arms. “And yes, you will be taking the closing shift tonight. I have a study date with a friend that I can’t miss.”
“It’s summer vacation?”
“Shut up!”
Steve shrugged when the door closed.
He closed the door to his employee locker with a little more force than necessary. He had a migraine building and the bright, florescent lights of the mall weren’t helping in the slightest.
He walked out and began his shift.
Eddie wanted to enjoy his day off. Preferably by himself. But Gareth and Jeff decided that his personal life was their personal life. So here they were.
He had wanted to spend the day away from the mall, considering that that was where everyone seemed to be nowadays. But the guys were insistent.
So they were walking around. It wasn’t too bad, considering Eddie had gotten himself a new record and tape with his newest paycheck. They were sitting at the fountain when Gareth shouted right in Eddie’s ear:
“HOLY SHIT!”
Eddie just about punched him with how hard he jumped. Jeff spit out his Pepsi all over Eddie.
While Eddie was worrying about getting the sticky drink off of his skin, Gareth continued with; “is that HARRINGTON in Scoops?”
Well. Now he has Eddie’s attention.
Sure enough, just in Eddie’s line of sight, was Steve Harrington in a sailors uniform and a dorky hat.
A dorky hat that was soon snatched up by his current customer, Billy Hargrove.
Jeff clapped him on the shoulder and leaned over him to get a better view. “Is that Hargrove?”
“Yep.” Eddie popped the P.
“It looks like he’s messing with Harrington.”
“Yep.” Another pop on the P.
“And Harrington looks like he’s gonna fucking explode.”
Eddie agreed. Harrington was red in the face and not in the cute blushy-way he usually gets (don’t ask why Eddie knows that). He was talking back to Hargrove, probably something bitchy and sarcastic in typical Harrington-fashion based on the way Hargrove seemed to recoil for a moment before jumping back.
“Should we do something?” Gareth asked skeptically. Jeff shrugged where he was pressed against Eddie’s back.
“I’m going in.” Eddie stood and nearly knocked Jeff down in the process.
“Hang on—“
“Nope! Wish me luck, boys!” Eddie yelled over his shoulder while he dashed over. He heard them both get up and follow him.
Steve wanted to cry.
His head hurt so fucking bad and his back was killing him and he had ran into a shelf earlier and had a killer bruise on his arm and leg from it and everything was too fucking much.
Then, in all his asshole and dick glory, in came Billy Hargrove.
At this point, Steve would rather take another plate to the head then have to deal with his annoyingly aggravating voice. Hargrove came in, probably expecting Robin to be there, but got Steve instead. And honestly Steve would rather deal with him then leave Robin with him.
So he’s been enduring it, giving his own comments and comebacks but overall hating his life and just wanting to curl up and die.
Then his savior showed up. In all his black leather and chains, Eddie fucking Munson.
Hallelujah.
Hargrove seemed to back down the moment Munson showed up. Which wasn’t too strange considering that Munson supplied over half of Hawkins’ weed supply. Including Steve’s own for a while. He hasn’t bought in a while cause of the brat brigade.
But not the point.
Hargrove nodded to Munson. “Munson.”
Wow. Real cool, Billy. Steve held back a snicker.
“Heeyyy, Hargrove!” Munson cheerily greeted. But there was something about his smile that was off, to Steve. It seemed tighter than usual, his eyes not crinkling with the motion like normal. Don’t ask why Steve knows this.
Munson’s eyes seemed darker, too. Like he was angry. Maybe Hargrove didn’t pay him? Steve couldn’t bother to care with how bad his head started to pound.
He shouldn’t be at work with this migraine. He knows that. His doctor’s told him this multiple times. But he owes it to Robin for being late so much and he needs to prove to his dad that he can take care of himself.
“So what brings you here, Billy?” Munson asks casually, stepping farther into the shop. Steve seems to finally be forgotten about, and he places his head down on the counter. The cooled surface definitely helps with the spinning room.
He hears Hargrove say something back, but he isn’t paying attention anymore. His eyes are stating to go blurry and he really needs to sit down. But then Munson says something that catches his attention:
“Just leave Harrington alone, man. Last I checked he did nothing to you.”
What the hell? Steve wished he could lift his head and see what Munson was doing. What he looked like when he said that. If he looked as mean as he sounded.
Steve only lifts his head a few moments later when he feels a hand on his back. He shoots up quicker than he intends, and nearly falls back down if not for the hands still holding him up.
“Shit,” he grumbles quietly to himself, whining even quieter at the sudden rush of pain and the black dots in his vision.
“Easy there, your highness.” Munson.
Steve blinks slowly, letting Munson set him down in a booth. He doesn’t remember walking over but he’ll take it. He puts his head back down and intertwines his fingers behind his head. He groans quietly again, the pounding slowly receding.
“Hey man, is there something we could do? Do you need anything?” He heard Munson ask.
We? Steve wants to ask, but finds himself not caring. “Water, and my bag from the back please,” he rasps out. Talking makes the pounding worse.
He hears someone rush off to the back and a moment later a hands on his back again and is helping him sit up.
“Here ya go sweetheart.” Munson slides the glass of water and bag over to him.
Steve silently reaches into his bag and pulls out his small “to-go” med-kit. He carries it around mainly for the kids. Mike tends to be clumsier than he comes off as and Max is always trying out some new skateboarding tricks. From inside the kit he pulls out a pill bottle and swallows 2 with the water and goes for another 2 before a hand stops him.
“I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to take more than 2.” This voice is new but familiar. Steve squints past the blurriness and makes out someone he recognizes from school; Gareth Emerson.
“4,” Steve manages past the lump in his throat. Munson, Emerson, and someone else Steve doesn’t quite know look at him. Munson continues to hold Steve’s hand on the table, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles. It weirdly intimate but the comfort is very welcome.
“4 what?” The other guy asks.
“4 pills. I usually take 4.”
Munson and Emerson both wince. The third guy looks at him like he’s insane. Steve finally recognizes him as Jeff,… something. He actually never got his last name.
“Dude— are you trying to overdose!?”
Steve winced at the sudden loudness, whining quietly. Munson shushed Jeff and Steve heard him rush out an apology.
The bell over the door dinged at that moment, and Steve found himself face to face with Max, Mike, Will, Lucas, and— for some reason— Jonathan.
“Uh— hi?” Steve attempted for a greeting.
“‘Hi!?’” Mike yelled. “Hi yourself man! We called your walkie at least 4 times!! What the hell?”
“Are you ok? Why didn’t you answer?” Will asked in a much quieter tone.
Lucas and Max wasted no time before slotting themselves in the booth with Steve. Munson remained across from Steve, and Emerson and Jeff now hovered farther away, but Lucas slid right in next to Munson and Max next to Steve.
“What the fuck, Harrington?” Max demanded. But she clung to his shirt tightly.
“Language, Mayfield,” he reprimanded quietly.
Mike paused where he stood. “Why are you talking so quietly? Shit— do you have a migraine?”
Suddenly 4 pairs of little eyes were gazing at him with unmasked concern. Holy shit was this overwhelming.
“Guys—“
“Why didn’t you say that, Steve?” Lucas asked.
“Are you ok? How long has it been going on for? Asked Will.
“Why are even here if you’re not able to function properly?” Mike reprimanded in his own caring-ness.
Max clutched to him tighter. “Why aren’t you at home? You could’ve called in sick or something!”
“Shhh!” Mike shushed her.
“Don’t shush me—“
“Shut up!” He whisper shouted. “You have to be quiet and try to control your temperature while resting in a dark, quiet room to try and help with migraines. Pain killers help to but no more than 3.”
Everyone stared at him. He went a little pink under the sudden attention.
“Nancy gets migraines a lot from reading in the dark.”
Jonathan came over right then. Steve was suddenly overwhelmed by all the people surrounding him.
“Uhm—“
“Hey,” Munson called. Steve forgot about him for a good moment. “This is cute and all, but maybe we should not surround him? Poor boy looks like he’s gonna cry.”
Everyone turned to look at him. Tears had— in fact— sprung to his eyes.
“Sorry!” All the kids rushed out quietly at the same time. Max climbed out of the booth and Munson and Jonathan both assisted with helping Steve to the break room. Jeff and Emerson stayed with the kids, but Mike came with them since he seemed to know what he was doing better than the 3 of them.
On their way back to the room though, Steve’s legs nearly gave out from under him. Shit. It’s one of those days. Munson just barely managed to catch him under the armpits while Jonathan got him by the waist.
“Woah there, sweetheart.” Munson grunted.
“Careful, Steve,” Jonathan said quietly.
“Sorry. Spinning.” Steve exhaled shakily.
Mike came rushing back after realized they weren’t with him. “Damn. Spinning? Are you able to walk? Or are they gonna have to carry you?”
Jonathan looked up at the mention of having to carry Steve. “Yeah— I’m not able to carry him. I am so not strong enough for that.” He had the decency to look apologetic.
Munson chuckled quietly and the sound reverberated through his chest where Steve’s head was. It was soothing.
“Don’t worry Big Byers. I’ve got him no problem.”
Steve was given no warning before he was being picked up in a bridal carry. He winced sharply and laid his head on Munson’s shoulder. Jonathan whistled lowly from somewhere beside them and Steve blindly kicked his leg in his direction, scoring in kicking him in the arm. Jonathan snickered.
When Munson chased off Hargrove he didn’t expect for Harrington to all but collapse in on himself and try to fucking overdose on like 5 pain killers. He also hadn’t expected to be bombarded by 4 kids and 1 Jonathan Byers. Least of all did he expect to be carrying Harrington bridal style to the break room of Scoops Ahoy.
Somewhere behind him, Gareth turned the sign on the door to closed. Eddie silently thanked him.
The kid— who he vaguely remembers as Nancy Wheeler’s younger brother— opens the door and startles a half asleep Robin Buckley.
“Hello,” Jonathan throws her way before pulling a chair out for Eddie to sit on.
“Uh— hi? What the hell—“
Eddie takes the seat with Harrington in his lap. Robin looks dumbfounded.
“Migraine,” Jonathan helpfully supplies.
“Really, really bad migraine. Vertigo included. Full package tonight, folks.” Mike adds.
“Ok— um, is he ok? He doesn’t look ok. If it was so bad why didn’t he just call in sick?”
“That’s a good question,” Mike retorts quietly while rooting around in a freezer.
“What are you looking for”, Robin asks.
“Ice pack. The dumbass has everything in that first aid kit of his except a damn ice pack.”
“Language,” Harrington reprimanded quietly from where his cheek was against Eddie’s chest. Eddie chuckled quietly when Mike retorted with a half-assed “sorry”.
Eddie couldn’t help but admire the now sleeping Harrington in his lap. He bent in half like a shrimp, his knees just about to his chest, and his hands gripping tightly onto Eddie’s still-Pepsi-soaked t-shirt. But he looked so at peace while asleep. Like he hadn’t just had the worst migraine Eddie’s ever seen and wasn’t just about to pass out on his feet. Eddie smiled.
Mike comes over silently, managing to sneak up on Eddie and make him jump slightly and causing Harrington to whine. He’d been whining a lot today. And under “different circumstances” Eddie would’ve found it hot as fuck.
“Sorry,” Mike whispered. He seemed to be able mellow out a lot when he actually tried. He seemed like such an asshole out at the booth but now he seems quieter. These kids really cared about Harrington, huh?
“Here.” Jonathan helped him out and gently picked up Harrington’s head. Eddie caught Harrington actually kind of leaning into his touch. A strange but endearing friendship. Mike placed the ice pack— now wrapped in a cloth— on Eddie’s chest where Harrington’s head lays.
Harrington lays back down and is out like a light soon enough.
Eddie zoned out until there’s a very, very soft knock on the door. When he looks up, Jonathan is letting the other 3 kids in while Jeff and Gareth stand in the doorway.
“Is he ok?” Asks Jonathan’s little brother.
Jonathan nods and pats his head. “He’s ok, Will.”
The redhead walks over and takes a silent seat next to Eddie so she’s next to Harrington. She takes Harrington’s hand in hers and proceeds to just sit there and hold it.
“He’s ok, Max. Just a migraine,” the third kid, Lucas he thinks, reassures with a hand on Max’s shoulder.
“That’s what he said before. And then he was in the hospital.”
Woah, what?
“Hm?” Lucas looks at him.
Oh. He said that aloud.
“Wait what?” Robin asked quietly.
Jonathan’s whistled lowly. It seems to be a bit of a tic for him. “Yeah uh— funny story. Hargrove broke a plate over Steve’s head last year and nobody realized how bad it actually was until he passed out after claiming it was only a migraine.”
“He ended up in the hospital for like 2 weeks,” added Lucas.
“He needed several stitches on the side of his head.” Max unhappily supplied. Lucas squeezed her shoulder.
“It was a stage 4 concussion,” muttered Will and Mike put his head on his shoulder.
Eddie caught Gareth and Jeff’s eyes across the break room. Huh.
The Will kid came up to Eddie suddenly. “Thank you. For uh— helping with Steve. It means a lot to us. He means a lot to us.”
Mike, Max, and Lucas all nodded.
“Hang on,” Lucas piped up. “Who are you?”
So uh— set myself up for a part 2 there :’D
Part 2
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seaweed-whump · 10 months ago
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So you know how when you get a new dog you socialize them by having them meet other dogs? its so they dont get freaked out by other dogs being around but anyway I was thinking about that w/ pet whump and then I started thinking about all the other ways we treat dogs (they're not all bad but doing it to a person seems like fun prompts yknow?)
(note that not all of these are ok but they are somewhat common)
Anyways we got
- kennel training
- restaurants that set out a bowl of water for pets on hot days (yknow the ones that look like theyre most slobber than water bc all the pets drink out of the same bowl that doesnt get replaced all day)
- letting random kids pet your pet so they learn to put up w/ bullshit
- hand gesture commands
- only feeding them once or twice a day/forgetting to feed them
- spiked collars
- public washing places in pet stores (like petco)
- pet halloween costumes
- kids being assholes to pets bc they wont get in trouble
- leaving in cars
- outside pets
- flavored treats
- those brain stimulation toys (like you put the treat in the ball and they gotta try and get it out)
- social media accounts for pets
- posts about pranking pets
- *ahem* breeding places
- animal control being called on loose pets
anyways im sure theres more but. i was thinking about these ones
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yet-another-heathen · 6 months ago
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On the topic of realistic conditioning/deconditioning,
If the trigger is something whumpee wouldn't hear often when they're with caretaker but whumpee still wants to break it because they might hear it elsewhere (like kneel being taken as a command)
Would whumpee ask caretaker to casually trigger them so they have the opportunity to challenge it in their own head and in a safe place? Would this be a good idea for recovery?
And of course being there with the praise everytime whumpee makes just a little bit of progress, or comfort when they don't.
Heads up, anon: your ask was an EXCEPTIONALLY good one, and I ended up writing another mini TED talk (~3-4 min read) in response. Thank you so much for sending it in!
...on Conditioned Whumpees - Part 3
[ Part 1 - Part 2 ]
That is a very, very good idea! You're spot on with all of it, particularly operating in a safe environment where whumpee is ultimately calling the shots. Having that comfort/support readily available will make a huge difference in how well whumpee can tackle the matter. And while the process isn't fun, approaching desensitization with this much intent is much, much more likely to result in success.
I can offer a few pointers that can add another few layers of realism, as well as some other things to think about while tailoring it to your story:
if whumpee is actively working through their conditioning in this way, memories of their trauma will become closer to the surface. As a result, all of their other PTSD symptoms will be elevated during the course of their practice sessions, as well as for at least a few weeks after.
flashbacks are a very common experience during times like this. engaging with triggers like this is going to cause their flashbacks to become more frequent and intense.
during such flashbacks, it is almost a given that whumpee's mind and body will enter a similar state to the one it was in during the time when the flashback was taking place. By that I mean that the fear they felt in that moment, where it was physically located in their body, will echo into their body in the present moment. Same goes for other all other emotions, and sometimes even phantom aches surrounding any injuries they received at the time...
while the emotions tend to be identical to the ones felt during the trauma, in my experience, the pain comes out distorted in a similar way to the way it does in dreams: less intense, and more "blurry" and imprecise in location. When we say that someone having a flashback is "reliving the moment", we mean that their body literally feels as though they're in the same immediate danger that it was in back then.
this is true even though they'll be aware to at least some degree that they're presently with caretaker and safe.
the flashbacks don't always happen immediately after the conditioning trigger is used. Often they flare up hours or days later, sometimes without warning, sometimes as a result of encountering a different flashback trigger. The whumpee's thresholds for what counts as a trigger will drop, which is part of what causes the flashbacks to happen more often. Something they could normally ignore is going to affect them much more while they're like this.
your whumpee is more likely to experience severe mood swings while in this heightened state. Especially feelings like irritability, frustration, anger, loneliness, and grief. This stuff ain't pretty, folks. Even your sweet cinnamon bun is most likely going to lash out at someone as a result.
PTSD episodes are also exhausting. your whumpee is going to feel mentally, physically, and emotionally drained. And, to add insult to injury, being tired amplifies the emotions listed above.
Now all of this said, your whumpee may or may not know that this is to be expected. If they've worked on processing their trauma before this, they'll have figured out that one often leads to the other. They'll go into the deconditioning practice knowing this is coming, and will approach it carefully, but with a fairly level head. Knowing that it'll suck, but they'll come out the other side okay.
If not, they're in for a rather nasty surprise.
For the latter, they will feel at first that the deconditioning practice is making everything worse. They're suddenly struggling the way they did when the trauma was fresher, and it can be tempting to stop and refuse to touch it again because the mental/emotional pain gets so intense.
If they do give up at this stage, it will make trying again far more daunting in the future.
But the trauma being stirred up is actually a sign that it's helping. It means that the whumpee is starting to process what happened to them, which is a fundamental step in being able to heal.
Note: All throughout the process, crying is a very good thing. It lets them physically get rid of a lot of the brain chemicals associated with these surges of emotion. Letting themselves cry over things they couldn't cry about back then can actually help them let go of those feelings in a similar way to if they'd been able to process them in the moment. [Which is the basis for much of EMDR, a specialized tool used in trauma therapy.]
Okay. So now we know what other effects can cascade from the actual deconditioning practice, now we have some things to consider.
First off, what time parameters are whumpee and caretaker working within while deconditioning? There are three basic options:
they sit down together and practice repeatedly using the trigger for [X amount of time; usually <45m at once] back to back. Once that time is up, caretaker will no longer use the trigger at all, the excercise will end, and they'll get up to do something else.
whumpee sets a specific window of time [X number of hours] within which caretaker will use the trigger word at random points. Once that time has elapsed, the exercise is over.
over the course of days, caretaker uses the trigger word at random points without giving warning. the excercise only stops after being ended by whumpee.
Now why is that important? Because of something called hypervigilance. It is another symptom of PTSD which, to put it into the simplest words, is whumpee waiting for the other shoe to drop. It's a heightened state of tension and wariness in which whumpee is expecting that something bad is going to happen, and is constantly searching for any sign to indicate when it's coming.
It is beyond exhausting.
Imagine knowing that someone is about to slap you as hard as they can, and you have to sit there with your eyes closed, waiting for it. The breath-holding, the flinchiness, the rigid tension in your body as you strain to listen for when they're coming.
Only now, stretch that moment out into hours. Days. Weeks. That is hypervigilance.
A hypervigilant whumpee is not going to be able to relax. Or rest. Or decompress. Or readily trust much of anything around them. They're MUCH more likely to flinch at sudden movements/sounds. They might start biting their nails or showing other signs of nervousness and distress.
These methods above have a gradually increasing chance of setting off whumpee's hypervigilance. If they know exactly when the next trigger is coming, as in example 1, then their 'waiting for it' tension will be low. But the more uncertain they become of exactly when it's going to happen, as in examples 2 & 3, the worse the hypervigilance is going to get.
The trade off is that the later examples are more effective in desensitizing them toward the trigger. The more their practice mimics encountering an unexpected trigger in day-to-day life, the easier it will be to fall back on that desensitization when the time comes.
Therefore, it would be a very good idea for a whumpee who's new to this to start with number 1, then gradually progress to 2 & 3 as time goes on. They should be the one to decide when the next step is made, and if/when they need to dial it back.
Other questions to ask yourself while plotting:
how mentally prepared is whumpee for worsening symptoms? what about caretaker? did either of them know it was coming?
how much of this heightened PTSD stress can your whumpee take before it becomes too much? how do they react when they do hit that tipping point?
if caretaker feels that whumpee is getting too distressed during practice even though they're not tapping out, would they call it off themself? Or would they ultimately leave that decision to whumpee?
based on the answer, how would whumpee feel about caretaker's decision? Relieved? Belittled? Betrayed?
does whumpee have any grounding tools they can use while practicing?
how does caretaker handle the mood swings and instability that come with whumpee's heightened PTSD? You should consider both their internal and external reactions on the matter.
how does whumpee prefer to decompress after a practice session? what things would help them calm down and recover?
how long do they need (hours or days) before the next attempt?
Even with all I've just written, there's far more to the resulting hightened state of PTSD than flashbacks and hypervigilance. PTSD symptoms that they're most likely to encounter in the background while doing deconditioning practice include:
Flinchiness, anxiety, panic attacks, nightmares, exhaustion, emotional mood swings, outbursts, crying spells, depression, executive dysfunction, dissociation, numbness, racing thoughts, freeze responses, tremors, inappetence, muscle tension, and heart palpitations.
Yes, usually many of them at once, even those that contradict. Your whumpee is going to have a LOT going on at once, and it is not going to be a fun time. I recommend looking up any of the above symptoms you don't recognize, and looking for whump inspiration in what you learn.
(Because everyone experiences PTSD episodes differently, there's a lot of wiggle room in which ones whumpee will encounter. Don't feel pressured to use all of them, find what you want to write and have fun with it!)
Thanks again for the incredible ask, anon. And again, I want to congratulate you on how spot-on your original ask was. You nailed it. I know this was a lot more than you asked for, but I hope this provides helpful context for your whump! My inbox will always be open if you think of anything more <3
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