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lordprettyflackotara · 7 months ago

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dollhouse || jeff the killer || part four

SMUT MINORS DNI 18+. tw: breeding kink, size kink, possession kink if you squint, squirting, overstimulation, the tiniest wee bit of blood (you scratch jeff’s back a lil too hard), non con for five seconds if you squint VERY hard. use of y/n bc i can’t avoid it for forever guys im sorry :(🚨🚨🚨PLOT PLOT PLOT. WE HAVE A PLOT. SMUT WITH PLOT🚨🚨🚨

Jeff hated what he had done.

It had been two weeks since the last time he saw you. Properly at least. You now avoided him like the plague and when he did see you, Ben or Masky accompanied you. Jeff never truly got a chance to be alone with you. Not to fuck necessarily but to say anything to you at all. Nina was also becoming quite the pest, the fan girl practically sewed to his hip. You had the same expression on your face everytime Jeff saw you. An odd one consisting of concentration and betrayal.

Jeff didn’t understand. Why did you look that way? You two weren’t together. You didn’t even like each other. He didn’t like your smile, laugh, or killing style. Or the way you twirled your hair when you were reading. He didn’t like the way you dressed or the way you smelled like vanilla. He began to see less and less of you and one day, you didn’t seem to be there at all.

The pale killer didn’t want to ask. Why would he show anyone he cared? But your absence at breakfast was noted. As was your absence during training, dinner, even Sally’s weekly tea parties. You wouldn’t seriously miss Sally’s tea parties over him, right? Your absence led the pale killer to your bedroom door, rising his fist to softly knock. He stood there nervously, knocking on the door as gentle as he could.

“Y/n?”

He heard nothing on the other side, not even a shuffle. Jeff sighed, gripping the doorknob. He was surprised to find it unlocked, his eyebrows raising. He pushed open the door, to find your room abandoned. All of your posters, trinkets, furniture. Everything that made the room yours was gone. Jeff had only had the privilege of seeing it when he used to walk by, the two of you commonly giving each other the middle finger. But now the room was empty besides one small twin bed. There was no sign you had ever been there to begin with.

Jeff ran down the hall, his feet carrying him down the stairs and into the living room. He jumped over the railing, thudding into the main room. “Where is she?” Jeff panted to Ben. The blonde seemed unamused, his fingers fiddling with his xbox controller. “Who?” He asked. Jeff narrowed his eyes. “You know who. Y/n. Where the fuck is she?” He questioned. Ben shrugged, letting his play of the game play on screen. He reached for his bong, Jeff quick to slap it out of his hands. The murky water spilled on the carpet, an offended scoff leaving Ben’s lips. He grabbed handfuls of Ben’s army green sweatshirt. “Tell me where the fuck she is or I swear to fuck I will smash your beloved bong,” Jeff threatened.

Ben crossed his arms, used to Jeff’s dramatic antics. “Thats a collectors piece,” He argued. Jeff rolled his eyes, grabbing the glass and holding it up mockingly. “I’m aware. Now spit it out,” Jeff said plainly. Ben sighed, shoving Jeff off of him.

“She moved out, alright?”

Jeff’s heart stopped, releasing Ben’s collar and setting his bong down.

“Where did she go?” Jeff questioned. Ben readjusted his shirt, leaving the queue for his game. “Your guess is as good as mine,” Ben answered honestly. Jeff sat on the couch, feeling defeat. He raked his fingers through his hair, his head feeling like it was spinning. “You know maybe if you cared about her this much when she was actually here she wouldn’t have left,” Ben murmured. Jeff gritted his teeth, storming out of the room without another word. He didn’t need you. He didn’t want you. He knew he liked your cunt and that was that. He didn’t need you to get laid, he had Nina.

Yet, you were like a plague. One that had it embedded itself in the cracks and crevices of his mind. You had woven your web of infatuation, one that Jeff couldn’t shake. It’s what led him to casually try to find you. EJ was clueless, as he expected. He knew better than to bother Slender with such trivial things. Toby was so focused on catching a fly, Jeff didn’t even think he actually heard the question. Asking Jane anything at all was always a risk, her eyebrows quick to raise. She slammed the door in his face, the pale killer left alone in the hallway. Jeff was out of options, his attention turning to the proxies.

They were in the training hall, being in tip top shape a core part of being a proxy. There was always a bit of a strain between Jeff and the proxies, due to Jeff being too insane to be converted into one of them. He knew what the thought process was. The duo were slightly bitter that it hadn’t gone the way Slender had originally wanted. If it had, he would’ve had no purpose for them. They would’ve had the privilege of pursuing normal lives and not even having the slightest idea any supernatural entities existed.

Hoodie lifted an axe, throwing it at the target’s Clockwork had made ages ago. The paint was beginning to fade, the wood chipped and shredded from hours of practice. “Masky. Hoodie,” Jeff greeted blandly. The axe landed on the bulls eye, the dirty blonde stepping behind Masky to allow him to throw. “What do you want?” Masky huffed. Jeff stood there awkwardly, his hands in his pockets. Asking human proxies for help was as painful as walking on hot coals to him.

“Where did Y/n go?” Jeff asked point blank. Masky’s aim was lethal, the axe landing dead center on top of Hoodie’s. Masky huffed as he shrugged off his mask, wiping his forehead. “Ask Google, you’ll have better luck there,” He replied. The two watched Hoodie collect the axes from the wooden board. “Very funny. I don’t believe for a second no one in this mansion knows where she went. She’s lived here for years,” Jeff argued. He crossed his arms sassily, Masky’s face was stone cold and hardening with each passing second. “Maybe you should consider that everyone knows, but no one is going to tell you,” Masky retorted. Jeff raised his eyebrows.

“Why wouldn’t anyone tell me?” He questioned.

Masky took his axe from Hoodie, giving him a quick nod. “Because you’re a pale slimeball who would stick his dick in a cactus if it came down to it,” Masky spat. Jeff went to launch himself at the brunette, his partner quick to stand in front of him. Hoodie towered over both Masky and Jeff, his height and leanness his main attributes in combat. Jeff gritted his teeth, clenching his teeth. “Yeah? Fuck you! Human piece of shit,” Jeff exclaimed, stomping out of the training room. He found himself wondering around the mansion, out of people to ask.

Forcing himself into the backyard to tend to Smile, he ran into Sally. She sat on the back porch, her attention centered on her dollhouse. Jeff slumped into one of the rocking chairs on the back porch, watching Smile tauntingly play with a rabbit. His obsidian eyes wondered over to Sally’s dollhouse, the dolls in her hands resembling the mansions residents. He leaned over, an obvious Ben doll and Jane doll in her hands. “Whatcha got going on Sal?” Jeff asked curiously. Sally shrugged, playing with the Ben doll and guiding it up the toy staircase. “Playing with my dolls,” She responded. Her tattered teddy bear sat beside her, but Jeff knew better than to look in his direction.

“Are those supposed to be us?” Jeff asked her. He never really knew how to talk to kids. Minus the fact you couldn’t yell or insult them. “Yeah,” Sally hummed, setting Bens doll aside and picking up Toby’s. They were all freakishly life like, Jeff’s eyes narrowing. “Where’s my doll?” He asked. Sally pointed to the top room of the dollhouse. A replica of Jeff was lying on the floor, his painted eyes staring at the ceiling. “Why am I up there?” Jeff questioned. He had never thought twice about Sally playing with toys. After all, she was just a kid. But there seemed to be a double meaning going on here.

“You’re sad about Y/n leaving, aren’t you?” She asked. Her big green eyes met his, the killer uncomfortably shifting in his seat. “I uh, well, I guess so,” Jeff stumbled out, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. He looked around the dollhouse for your doll, noticing its absence. “Hey Sal where did you get these dolls from?” Jeff asked. Sally pointed at Mr.Bear, her long time psychotic supernatural teddy bear companion. Jeff’s eyes narrowed, realizing his thought process was a long shot from being true. “Where’s Y/n’s doll?” Jeff questioned. Sally pointed at the woods, leafs rustling and falling from the trees.

Jeff quickly rose from his seat, patting Sally’s hair. “Thanks kiddo,” He said sincerely, dashing into the woods. Slenderman’s forest was always risky to travel through, The Rake an uncontrollable force that was to be reckoned with. During the day it was typically asleep, the sunlight beaming on Jeff’s pale skin. Even with that being said, it was never a good idea to go into the forest alone. It was apart of the reason EJ moved back inside of the mansion after an unfortunate run in outside of his remote cabin. It suddenly made sense to Jeff. You were staying in the same cabin Jack once did. It was the only one out here. It was the only place nearby you’d be able to stay.

The pale killer couldn’t get to you fast enough, his lungs desperately inhaling gulps of air as he got to the cabins front porch. He noted the porch being freshly swept, as well as patio furniture decorating it. Jack was never one for decoration. This alone was a sign you were here. Jeff knocked on the door, straightening out his spine and clearing his throat. He stood there anxiously as you opened the door, your eyes widening in surprise. You went to shut the door, Jeff’s foot blocking it from closing. “Wait!” He exclaimed. You slowly pulled open the door, raising your eyebrows.

“I only opened this door because I thought you were Masky bringing me food. What do you want Jeff?” You questioned harshly. Jeff didn’t know how to explain it. The weird sensation that sparked in his chest when he was around you. Or thought about you. The way he couldn’t escape wondering what you were doing or how you were. “I-I think I love you, or something,” Jeff stuttered. You looked at your tall enemy, folding your arms. “You think? Were you thinking that when you stuck your dick into Nina?” You hissed. Jeff rubbed his temple, as if his head was hurting. “It’s not like that okay? That was a complete accident,” Jeff answered.

“Oh okay, so she tripped and fell and landed on your dick?”

You went to close the door again, this time Jeff’s hand stopping it. His slender fingers attempted to grip the wood like his life depended on it.

“You are the first person I think of when I wake up. You are the last person I think about before I go to sleep. I can’t stop thinking about you and I don’t fucking understand it. I miss bickering with you. I miss fighting with you. I miss your witty comebacks and smart ass remarks. Fucking hell, do you have any idea what you do to me?” Jeff rambled. He ran his fingers through his hair, shoving it out of his face. “I hate, no, I despise the idea of you being with anyone else. I can’t fucking stand it. I can’t stand the idea of someone else touching what’s mine,” Jeff continued. He cleared his throat, his obsidian eyes finally meeting yours. “I hate the way you make me feel, I hate you,” He said softly. He couldn’t bring himself to say he loved you again.

He couldn’t and he wouldn’t.

He awaited your response, your folded arms falling.

“I hate you too Jeffrey,” You replied gently. You tugged on the collar of his hoodie, pulling his lips to yours. His kisses were rough and uncontrolled, the pale killer having a hard time keeping his lips off of yours. He didn’t want to take a breath, nor did he want to let you breathe. Jeff grabbed the door, awkwardly shutting it behind him. You guided him towards the couch, your knees buckling as you hit the side. His large hands wondered down to your waist, gripping the flesh. You groaned hungrily into his mouth, his hands slithering downwards and massaging your ass.

He pushed you downwards, your back hitting the cushions of the couch. Jeff was on you in an instant, his lips straying from yours. “Gotta let everyone know you’re mine,” Jeff grumbled. He nibbled at your neck, before sucking harshly at your sweet spot. Your hips bucked upwards, your teeth biting your bottom lip. “Go on, be as loud as you want doll. No one can hear ya,” Jeff snickered, dragging his tongue up the side of your neck. He shoved your dress towards your torso, your bare cunt on display. “No panties? Fuck, you’re a dirty whore,” Jeff observed. He took his index and middle finger, teasingly dragging them up your slick.

“And you’re this wet for me? I’ve hardly even touched you,” Jeff mused. He smirked as he lowered himself between your thighs, shoving those same two fingers into your cunt. Your gummy walls squeezed his digits tightly, his name falling off of your lips like a mantra. “There she is. There’s my filthy slut,” Jeff chuckled darkly. He curled his fingers inside of you, relishing in the sound of you moaning his name. “I bet Ben couldn’t make you feel like this. Could he doll?” Jeff purred. You whined as he slowed his fingers down. Aggravated he removed his fingers, delivering a sharp slap to your folds before shoving them back inside of you.

“You’ll answer my questions when I ask them bitch.”

“Only you- fuck- you make me feel so-” You slurred, stumbling over every other word. Jeff attached his lips to your needy clit, satisfied as you grinded your cunt against his face pathetically. You were so desperate to get off. To have him get you off. It only made his cock harder. He lapped at your juices like a starving man, his fingers never slowing for a second. He adored being like this, head buried between your thighs and fingers buried inside of you. You felt your stomach begin to tighten, your core throbbing. “F-f-fuck right fucking there! Fuck, Jeff!” You moaned, grinding your hips against his face as you came.

Jeff emerged from your thighs with a cocky grin, crawling upwards towards you. You gripped his hoodie, flipping the two of you. Jeff’s back hit the couch, his obsidian eyes watching you curiously. He put his hands behind his head, his pupils blown with lust as he watched you fiddle with his belt. “There’s not a better view in the world than this,” Jeff muttered. You found his words sweet and endearing, heat dashing across your cheeks as you shoved his jeans down his legs. “Shut up,” You mumbled. You hovered yourself over Jeff’s thick cock, giving it a few pumps. The man underneath you nearly whimpered, your lips curling up into a smile.

You felt so awkward, despite having been in this position with Jeff countless times before. But this time was different. He didn’t look at you with hatred, but with something else. His large hands guided your hips, guiding you down on his cock. You threw your head back, whimpering. “So tight f’me,” Jeff grumbled. He could feel your walls spasming around him, struggling to accommodate to his size. He lifted up your dress, pride washing over him as he saw the outline of his cock through your stomach. “Look at that doll, look at how deep I am,” Jeff told you. He helped you lift your dress over your head, your fingertips tracing over the shape of his cock. Jeff guided your hips to roll against his, pleasantly surprised with your submission.

“Next time i’ll make sure we can see it through your throat too. But for now I need to fuck you stupid,” Jeff purred. You gripped his shoulders as you began to move, bouncing up and down on his cock. The sight of you falling apart on top of him was sending the pale killer into a frenzy. Your eyes were screwed shut, your bottom tip tucked in between your teeth. Jeff glanced down at his shaft, noticing your arousal coating his cock. “My my, such a filthy whore. Making a mess on my cock like this,” Jeff panted. In a flash he flipped the two of you over, shoving your legs over his shoulders.

With your ankles dangling beside his head he smirked, leaning forward. “Look at me as I fuck you doll. You’re mine. Understand?” Jeff huffed. You forced your eyes to open, his cock ramming into you mercilessly. His fingers gripped your thighs so tightly you swore you’d have bruises in the shape of his fingers in the morning. You slid your hands under his hoodie, digging your nails into his back. “And you’re mine,” You babbled, dragging them down his back.

He groaned at the painful sensation, his cock abusing your g spot. You could feel your legs burn as he slammed into you, both of you moaning messes. His shaggy jet black hair stuck to his forehead with each thrust, muttering strings of curses under his breath. You could feel your final orgasm coming, your legs trembling. Jeff relished in the sight of them trembling by his head, a cocky smirk dancing across his lips. “Go on doll, make a mess on my cock,” He chuckled. He leaned forward, his breath hot against your ear. His hips were unstoppable, whimpers escaping your lips.

“Just know if you cum on my cock i’m going to fill you to the fucking brim,” Jeff grunted. He nibbled on your earlobe, your eyes rolling into the back of your head. “F-f-fuck Jeff,” You whimpered. Jeff could feel your walls squeezing him, your thighs squeezing his waist. “Go on doll, I know you want it,” He whispered. It was then the cord inside of you came undone, your mouth running dry as you came around his cock. Your legs shook violently, your juices coating his lower half. “I just made you squirt for the first time huh? Let’s see if I can make you do it again,” Jeff chuckled darkly. You whined as he slithered his hand to your clit, drawing fast circles around the swollen bud.

“O-oh! Fuck! It’s too much,” You cried. Jeff could feel the beads of blood you were extracting from his back as you held on for dear life. His thrust had never stopped, his hips never failing to snap into yours. “You’re doing so good for me doll, just one more,” Jeff huffed. You felt your vision growing hazy, your sinful noises babbles of curses and Jeff’s name. You then came again, squirting around his cock. Jeff’s thrust came to a sudden halt, his cock twitching keep inside of you. You could feel his warm cum flooding your cunt, your thighs trembling as he took them off of his shoulders.

He removed his cock from you, watching his seed spill out of your abused hole. With two fingers he pushed his cum back inside of you, your whimpers music to his ears. “Can’t have that going anywhere now can we?” Jeff purred. In a swift motion he picked you up bridal style, carrying you further into the cabin. “What are you doing?” You asked softly. You laid your head against his chest, the killer carrying you as if you were as light as a feather.

“To get you cleaned up doll face. You’re mine now, and I’m going to treat you like it.”

#creepypasta #creepypasta smut #creepypasta lemon #creepypasta x y/n #creepypasta x female reader #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta x you #creep #jeff the killer x y/n #jeff the killer x you #jeff the killer x reader #jeff the killer x ticci toby #jeff the killer x eyeless jack #eyeless jack x jeff the killer #jeff the killer smut #jeff the killer #jeffrey woods #jeff mason

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cameronspecial · 1 year ago

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Let Me Shotgun You, Angel

Pairing: Frat!Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: Smoking Weed

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 0.7K

Summary: Y/N takes an interest in one of Rafe's favourite pastimes.

Masterlist

Rafe has been smoking weed since high school and that didn’t change when he started university. But when he started dating Y/N, it became less of a habit. Most people extremely against the drug would talk his ear off about it and shame him for doing it. Y/N wasn’t like them though. She didn’t love the idea of him finding his high with weed, but she mostly kept her thoughts to herself. Every so often, she’ll suggest he just uses it as an edible if he wants the effects of it, warning him that smoking or vaping of any kind could cause him severe health problems. And she’d leave the conversation at that. When he smoked, she would remove herself from the room so she wouldn’t suffer from second-hand smoke.

Tonight, she is acting a little different though. When Rafe and his brothers started lighting up, she stayed right by his side. Instead, she cuddles into his side, feeling a little clingy. All she wants is his skin pressed against hers. “Angel, are you sure you want to stay here? What about the smoke?” he worries in a whisper. “I can bring you upstairs to my room if you want.” She shakes her head, pressing her head even harder against his chest. “I’m okay. I just want to be with you,” she promises. Her smile isn’t as bright as it normally is and her eyes droop a little. He can tell she is tired, but won’t argue with that. He likes having her in his arms too much. She sits on his lap, just listening to him talk to his friends about anything and everything. His fingers bring the joint up to his lips. Y/N's eyes flit up to watch his process. The end of his joint is surrounded by his plump lip and she watches as he slowly inhales the smoke. He keeps bringing the smoke into his lungs while breathing in air through his nose until he needs to exhale again. The drugged air swirls in front of him, capturing her attention as it moves around like foam in water. Rafe notices her fascination and moves some of her hair out of her face. “Everything alright?” he questions, watching the joint teeter-totter between his fingers.

“Can I try?” she whispers. Rafe’s eyebrow arches and he asks her to say that again. “Can I try smoking the joint?” she restates louder. Rafe’s facial expression hasn’t changed, “Angel, you don’t like smoking. You always say that it has a bunch of health effects that you don’t like.” “I know, but trying it once won’t kill me. I wanna know why you like doing it so much,” she whines almost. She can see the amused faces of his friends, who just see her as an innocent lamb and she wants to change that. Rafe lets out a chuckle at his girlfriend’s sudden interest, “Okay if you are sure. But let me shotgun you, Angel. It’ll be easier for you.” Rafe looks over at Kelce and points toward something in the boy’s hand, beckoning with his finger for that thing. “Kelce, pass me the bong. It’ll be easier on her throat.”

Kelce obeys his president and hands him the glass vase. “Okay, Angel. I’m going to take a hit of the bong and then I’m going to bring your mouth to mine when I’m ready to exhale. Once the smoke starts entering your mouth, you have to inhale for as long as you can even with the smoke still in your mouth. Remember to breathe through your nose too,” he instructs, bringing the opening of the bong to his lips. His hand finds her chin a few seconds later and gently pulls her lips apart. His head turns so his lips can slot perfectly with hers and create a seal that the smoke can’t escape from. Y/N feels the fume wrestle around her mouth. Not having lungs trained for this, she can’t keep inhaling for long and the smoke eventually leaves her mouth in a fit of cough. The burning in her throat screams at her like a crying baby. She doesn’t understand why Rafe and the others enjoy this so much. She can’t stop her coughs and she hears Rafe order one of his brothers to bring her some water.

He brings her head under his chin, rubbing her back to soothe her. “Are you alright, Angel?” he checks in. She shakes her head, “I am never doing that again.” The room laughs, not surprised by her conclusion.

Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia

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sexiestpodcastcharacter · 1 year ago

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Sexiest Podcast Character — Unscripted Bracket — Round 4

Propaganda

Moonshine Cybin (Not Another D&D Podcast: Bahumia):

She's a hot elf with mushrooms growing on her. She has 1 level of barbarian. She's bisexual. She shapeshifted into a dragon and ate a god.

how tf does the post not mention Moonshine’s giant boobs her greatest asset

Moonshine has canonically gone down on a woman for a solid hour without asking for anything in return. Moonshine edged a dryad just by kissing them. Moonshine faced down someone being controlled to kill everyone in his path and told him if he still wanted to hurt her, she would take his blows as a friend. Moonshine makes jambalaya for her family and friends. Moonshine mispronounced someone’s name for a month and that woman still wanted to hook up with Moonshine. These are just a few of the reasons why Moonshine is sexy.

shes illiterate

canonically huffs dirty water from a bong

has big tatas

wears a belly chain with a demon trapped in it

almost became the queen of hell

ate a god

turned into a pregnant moose & gave birth

Amber Gris (The Adventure Zone: Ethersea):

Middle aged woman who punches sharks to death. My hero

If you love me you'll vote for amber gris I swear to everything holy on earth amen

Amber is butch, instant win

Amber Gris has a negative charisma modifier and she pissed her pants on purpose in order to trick a guard and knock him out. She tied up a dude. She once killed an evil magic shark (they're out for murder. not like real sharks) by punching it and then picked it up and smashed it into another shark, also killing it. She talks in a southern accent. She calls people guppy because it indicates a lack of respect. She has a big pair of magical green arms that come from her stomach. She got a fancy jacket and immediately ripped its sleeves off. She has a gay thing going on with one of the political leaders in the city. She gets in fights with people and doesnt do vulnerability and tries to lay low and not get in any social trouble she doesn't have to. She jumped through a portal into a new world because she could. She's now the god of said world, alone with only afformentioned political leader, who was previously possessed and she had to fight. She spends her time in a bar called the Cloaca. She calls people she doesn't like claspers, because it means shark penis. She and her friend, an old man named Uncle Joshy, sneak attack each other and yell VIBE CHECK! She tries to talk fancy to impress people and she's really bad at it (verily).

She’s everything and more. She’s irreverent. She punches sharks for a living. She becomes God. What more do you need in a butch.

amber gris propaganda: she is straightup the physical embodiment of "women want me, fish fear me." also she's an appalachian post apocalyptic sea captain. that's just objectively cool.

Art of Amber from @cookie-nom-nom.

#Round 4 #Moonshine Cybin #Amber Gris #Not Another D&D Podcast #Bahumia #The Adventure Zone #TAZ Ethersea

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camilla-obscura · 1 year ago

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this shit ain't nothin to me man i'll fuckin kill you. i balled so hard i made vin deisel look like sasquatch. paid a clown to fondle my nuts they switched places in the sack. got forcefemmed in a back alley in burbank; they had to cut the thigh highs off of me with a hacksaw. i got into a staring contest with the sun and it blinked first. went scrounging around in the dumpster behind a top surgery clinic came back with six pairs of nipples going straight down my chest like a rat. we hotboxing the pharoahs ashes from inside his own sarmacophamagus. we suckin the single-celled organisms out of the primordial bong water. we smokin that shit that made jfk's head do that. we smokin that louisiana gator dick. we smokin that shit that makes you aware of the narrative. pluckin' on the plot threads like an out of tune guitar. this shit ain't nothin to me man. i treat her clit like a cookie clicker any% speedrun world record. i'm built different. i'm built stupid. i'm built wrong. when i walk in a room i give transphobes gender dysphoria. summon my stand so i can piss in both bathrooms at once. i can't drive more than four miles per hour else i start getting scared. this shit ain't nothin to me man i'll fuckin kill you.

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dxwnfxll · 2 years ago

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Heyy!! How are you?<3

I just found your blog and I'm so happy I did! So I decided to leave a request for some hc's of the main 4 eddsworld boys finding out the reader is a stoner? Like they'll just get into the house and see the reader faded af and just being extra chill abt everything??

If you don't do multiple character hc's, then the same premise but only for Tord. Thank you lovely :))

Hiya !! I'm doing swell ! Hope ya are to :) !!

And awesome HC idea totally gonna write it out

Hope ya enjoy it ! (And sorry for the wait i've been busy busy !!)

The eddsworld boys with a stoner reader

(gender neutral reader)

Tord

- So Tord is DEF a stoner, you can't tell me other wise. So when he casually arrives home one day a lil earlier than the others and finds reader faded as hell he just fucking laughs.

- He def gets high with reader, he has a collection of funny lil bongs including a anime girl one he spent a shit ton of money on.

- Reader got munchies? He's got ya, he's got his own lil munchie stash in his room.

- Readers first time getting high? He'll call you stupid but help you through it, make sure you don't freak tf out

- You and him probably sit on the couch looking like idiots laughing at the dumbest shit (probably a dumb commercial Tord keeps rewinding back over and over)

Edd

- I don't see Edd as a stoner but he's okay with the 'lifestyle', though when he came back after a cola run and found Reader staring at the ceiling snickering here and there he's very concerned

- " Did Tord give you something from his stash? TORD !! "

- When he figures out YOU are ALSO a stoner he's like " oh "

- He's kinda curious about what it's like sometimes, especially since he's been casually watching you/Tord getting high randomly and looking like y'all are having the time of your lives.

- Careful if you actually let him get high with you, He's gonna freak tf out and get some bad munchies

- If he never gets high with you though he just kinda keeps an eye on you to make sure you're okay

Matt

- He's not a stoner, doesn't even know what a stoner is. So when he comes home and smells something 'bad' in the air he thinks it's a damn fire

- Idk why he thought it was a fire he just did, he sees smoke coming under your door and grabs a bucket and before you even know it he's thrown water in your room...on you.

- He killed your vibe

- He does apologize though at least

Tom

- He used to be a stoner, he kinda stopped after he got into Smirnoff and didn't wanna be juggling both y'know?

- When he comes home and sees you on the couch he just holds in a lil laugh and goes " i know that face, someones tripping balls"

- He MAKES you give him a hit on the blunt/bong/whatever (or an edible if you prefer edibles)

- He's a pro at this shit so he's chilling, and hopefully you are too. But a few mins in he'll get up and grab some snacks for you two.

- He isn't a very giggly high when y'all two are high but he's more 'idiotic', he'll find random photos and think they're the funniest shit known to man kind. He's also very hungry and thirsty when he gets high

- Tord is NOT allowed during y'alls high time

- He takes big breaks when getting high, so if you're a stoner that does it daily or day after day he's not gonna smoke with ya every day. He smokes like maybe once or twice a week? It really depends

Bonus:

Eduardo

- He judges you, but when he sees how chill you are when high he decides to take a hit. He gets mad when he doesn't get high from one hit

- Excuse him he's a lil dumb, you tell him it takes more than one hit and he just grumbles before taking another hit

- Once he's high with you he just sits there, you probably gotta check on him to make sure he's okay

- After that time he gets high with you whenever he can, dude probably needs it tbh

Jon

- He doesn't really understand but he's cool with it ! :D

Mark

- Mark prefers to not be around whenever you get high, it's not that he hates you being a stoner he just isn't into smoking and all that. He does warn you about the bad stuff with smoking though womp womp

Paul

- Dude doesn't care, he probably finds you high in the barracks at the red army base. He probably sits with you and smokes his own cigarettes just chilling with you

- " everybody needs a break every now and then, just don't be high while your work yeah ? "

- If you ask for anything to help get you down from your high so you can work he'll usually help (if he's in a good mood)

Patryck

- Judging

- He doesn't like that you're high during work, doesn't like the smell and doesn't like how you act while high

- gets a lil annoyed if he has to help you walk around or anything

- def never getting high with you, but he's def had a contact buzz before

Yippe ! Hope you enjoyed sorry if it seemed rushed at all

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mad3lyncline · 2 months ago

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𝑯𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑪𝑹𝑨𝑭𝑻 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺 – 𝑷𝑨𝑹𝑻 𝑻𝑾𝑬𝑳𝑽𝑬 . no YOU have a problem !! 😭 cscoopVEVO 'highcraft' videos . adjust pronouns as necessary !

wait , is everyone still hiding ?

i need to go berzerk .

dude , there are some serious foes in here .

shoot him off me , [ name ] !

i feel like we took a wrong turn .

why is this spider so powerful ?

yeah , we're the best . hate to break it to you .

okay , i'm gonna go take a bong rip .

why does he want me so bad ? holy shit . . .

we're actually comboing the fuck out of him .

guys , look at me ! look at me ! what is going on ?!

i got reese's puffs , but they're bats .

i think you just saved him literally like the instant before death .

this is a good mound . i think i will make a hole here .

who's down to get freaky ?

ugh , you're one of them ? makes sense .

i don't like that noise ; that one sounds like a fart .

look at your dog's big old nose , bro .

sniff up some food , you bitch !

well you should have telepathically understood !

wait , that's actually a valid argument .

i'm really confused as to what you guys are talking about over there .

oh my god , you guys are speaking fucking riddles .

don't ever say that to me again . where are you . i'm gonna kill you .

look what i'm doing ; you should do the same .

we can put him in a hole and come back for him so he doesn't scamper off .

biggest gremlin behavior i've seen in a while .

I'M GOING TO BEDDDDDDDD !!!!

i fuckin' lived , bitch .

wait , where's [ name ] ? he said he would play with me .

do you guys think i could teach a jumping spider sign language ?

can i get muddy with you ?

i'm having an epiphany and you guys are getting muddy .

i gave you the exact spot , it wasn't a riddle .

i spilled water everywhere , i made it very clear !

[ name ] 's dumb ass fucked this up and i still didn't fix it right .

i kidnapped all the neighborhood cats and i put them in my back yard and i charge the families $5 a day to see 'em .

turbo hater !

it be like that sometimes . i suffocated in a wall earlier .

#mine.#meme.#rp meme #indie rp memes #rp starters #rp sentence starters #indie rp prompts #rp prompts #rp prompt #rp sentence meme #sentence starters #sentence meme #rp ask meme #roleplay memes

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heavenlyakin · 1 year ago

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starboy - atsumu miya x fem!reader

wc: ~5.8k

cw: fem reader, on-page drug use, alcohol consumption, the reader has red hair and hazel eyes (sorry, not sorry), reader blushes, and a little angst towards the end.

a/n: 18+ only please. I use “--” to switch POVs in this fic and “ – – –” is a time skip. I really hope you like this silly little AU! It’s giving Wattpad kid grows up and uses Tumblr and AO3 now. Sorry there’s no smut in this, but I might write a part 2 (please don’t ask for one because that’ll kill my vibes). If you’re interested in the playlist mentioned that they listen to, I’ll be happy to link it!

Part 2

—

Every crowd is the same, but somehow different in a multitude of ways. It’s a dichotomy that Atsumu hasn’t quite figured out yet. After years of touring and performing he thought he knew about everything about entertaining a crowd and getting them riled up. He’d sold out more than enough shows to back this idea up.

However, on night two of touring his third studio album, he notices you in the crowd. The glitter on your eyes falling to your cheeks reflects the stage lighting and draws him to your eyes. That’s when he notices your red hair, the burgundy red is a sight to see. He winks like he would to anyone else, but something in him yearns to walk back down the catwalk to you again. He resists, knowing he needs to keep doing his job.

But, he does look for you the next night.

He’s glad to see you’re back. He’s noticed fans going to multiple shows before and has invited them to the after-parties for being so loyal, so he thinks he wants to extend the offer. The other girls that seem to stick around are nice enough, and the band never seems to mind. When he’s changing between the third and fourth song of the night, he tells his manager to send someone out to see if you want to join them after the show.

He’s happy to hear back after the show that you accepted.

Outside the city limits, the rented house is big enough for hundreds of people to move around freely, but Atsumu got over massive parties after his first tour. The glamor of the drinking, drugs, and even the people he thought he loved being around seemed to lose their shine. With only about 30 people here now, he’s much more comfortable in this space.

From his seat on the velvet couch with his brother, he notices you come in; walking through the door in the same outfit you’d worn to his show tonight. The glittery lavender tube top is something to see, but his eyes linger on your legs, covered in iridescent shimmering tights under white shorts. Your smile and wave to another girl across the room makes him look away.

“How many more nights are we staying in LA?” Osamu asks his brother, taking a rip from the bong after. The smoke floats above the brothers, whirling in the colorful lavender lighting.

“Two more, then the tour really kicks off in the States.” He tells him, taking the bong from him and taking a hit.

He coughs after the smoke leaves his body and Osamu laughs at him. Atsumu has tried plenty, but he’s no longer used to the feeling. He takes a sip of water, leaning back on the couch and stretching his legs out on the table, careful to avoid Osamu’s stash.

“I think this will be better than even last time,” he tells him. “I’m glad you decided to come with me.”

Osamu shrugs, “I needed a break from the restaurant.”

He’s not staying the whole tour with Atsumu, just the first leg of the U.S. tour, and then flying back home during the busy season at the restaurant. Osamu has been at his brother’s side since his early days trying to get a studio just to listen to one of his tracks, and now he’s watched him grow into one of the biggest Jpop stars in the world. He’d never tell him, but he’s proud.

How Atsumu gained his fame is quite the story, hard to believe really. Who would have thought that a little karaoke fun would have led to all this? It still shocks Atsumu to this day. Every night he wonders when the crowds will lessen, when the tickets will stop selling out, and when this dream will all be over.

“Can we join you?” Your unfamiliar voice sounds like a song Atsumu wants to write, but he shakes it off.

He’s slept with fans, had his fill, and he’s too old for this now. Nothing is exciting about someone who would do anything for you just because they are obsessed with you, not because they know you… the real you.

It’s just the excitement for the new tour that’s getting to him.

“Of course,” Osamu answers before Atsumu can tell you and your friend to sit.

Atsumu ignores the irritation that washes over him as you sit beside Osamu, your thighs touching. He ignores the way Osamu smiles and drapes his arm over your shoulder. He ignores the sting in his chest that’s unlike anything he’s felt before.

He looks away as your friend sits on the couch beside him.

–

Your friend starts talking to him and you notice Atsumu engages her in a friendly manner, but he’s reserved. Something you hadn’t expected. His brother, on the other hand, isn’t shy. The way Osamu’s thumb rubs circles onto your soft skin is enough to drive you wild. However, you don’t want to be that girl.

“Do you always tour with your brother?” You ask, making conversation. You know he doesn’t, but that won’t stop you from playing the part.

“No, I’ve never joined him before,” Osamu tells you and you look past him to Atsumu, he’s engaged in conversation with the girl you met tonight.

Honestly, tonight feels like a fanfiction you read when you were younger, getting to meet the band after the show and potentially fucking the lead or another member. The lead singer’s brother isn’t exactly who you imagined this playing out with, but you’re old enough now to know life is rarely like it is in stories… even if you did get invited to your favorite artist’s after-party. Despite the girl flinging herself towards Atsumu, after telling you that you couldn’t, you’re not going to let this ruin a good time.

However, when you look over at her and Atsumu, it seems like he’s more interested in the bottle of water between his hands than the girl on his right. Serves her right for being a bitch about you wanting to talk to him.

“Have you always been a fan?” Osamu asks you, and you realize you were probably spacing out.

“Oh, yeah. For the last few years anyway after his debut album.” You answer and he nods. This conversation is going nowhere. “Do you want a drink?” You ask him, seeing that his cup is empty.

He smiles and nods. “Come with me to refill it.”

–

Atsumu watches as you leave with his brother, disappearing into another room obscured from his view. He couldn’t hear what you were talking about with Osamu, thanks to the girl beside him rambling on about a festival she saw him at a few years ago. He can’t find it in him to care whatever she's saying about it.

Where is Osamu taking you? His irritation is present on his face, jaw clenched and eyes narrowed as if he can see through the walls.

“Are you listening to me?” The girl, whose name he’s sure she told him, asks him.

“Not really,” he smiles to soften the blow. “Excuse me,” he gets up off the couch, leaving her behind without glancing back for her reaction.

He finds Osamu at the bar with you, wrapped up in conversation and mixing a drink that you take a sip of as he approaches.

“Can I talk to you?” Atsumu asks his brother.

Osamu looks surprised but nods. “I’ll be back in a moment, doll.”

“Not her,” Atsumu tells him, his voice barely containing the blinding feelings he’s experiencing all at once. “Not tonight.”

“Calling dibs?” He smirks, a laugh falling from his lips. “Fine, fine,” he shrugs after seeing the look of irritation on his twin’s face. “I’ll go talk to the blonde you were ignoring then,” he says and leaves the room.

Atsumu watches as Osamu goes to the living room of the rented house. The girl’s face lights up when he speaks to her. She drops her phone on the couch beside her and gives him the attention she wasn’t receiving. He turns back and sees you, sipping from a red solo cup and looking defeated.

“Why so sad?” He asks, leaning on the bar and flashing his winning smile. Your eyes light up and he sees they’re hazel.

You shrug, “I’m not. Just bored.”

Bored… she’s bored?

–

Fuck, why did you say that to him? Atsumu Miya, the biggest star in Japan and maybe even the world right now… thinks you’re bored at his party.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” you stutter your words, trying to change his confused look to one of more understanding. “I’m just, not used to this.”

He chuckles, standing up and shoving his hands into his pockets. “Oh, I get that.” He tells you. “I guess this is a lot for someone who hasn’t been to our tour before.”

“I’ve been to your other tours.” You fire back, brows furrowed.

“I’ve never seen you before tonight.” He grins, and you think he’s enjoying picking on you.

“I’ve never been able to afford front row before now. I’ve always been in the lower sections. I don’t think even your pretty eyes can see that far back.” You take a sip of the punch that has something in it, maybe vodka. You’re not well-versed in alcoholic beverages enough to differentiate between them.

“I see,” he says and looks up towards the ceiling, teetering back on his heels.

Something about this little movement takes you by surprise. It makes him… real? You knew he was a real person, of course, but something so casual never crossed your mind. That’s the thing with celebrity idolization, you lose their sense of humanity.

That’s weird, isn’t it? But… it’s true.

“You seem a little bored yourself,” you comment, setting your drink down on the bar, but keeping it in front of you. “Not enjoying your own party?”

He looks at you, something on his face you can’t quite read. “It’s just not the same as it used to be, ya know. It’s more of an obligation.”

“You shouldn’t live your life for others.” This time, he frowns at you.

–

Is she serious? The look on her face makes it seem so.

Atsumu laughs, running his hand through his hair, feeling the gel still in it from the show. “I don’t think that’s true with my profession.”

Everything about him is for others.

She shrugs, her red hair falling over her face. She brushes it away and tucks it behind her ear and he wishes he’d done it for her. “I don’t think that has to be true.”

He leans on the bar, his elbows against the wood and hands supporting his face. “If you say so.”

– – –

Osamu leaves after three weeks, but that’s a quarter of the tour. They visited 9 cities during this time, but the parties started to dwindle. Everything from the second night of his show in LA is still stuck in his head. Red hair and hazel eyes haunt his dreams, even now. Plus, he can’t get out of his head what she said.

You shouldn’t live your life for others.

Isn’t that what he’s always done? Each album, every show, every meet and greet, every television or radio appearance, it’s all been for them… the fans. He puts a piece of himself in it all.

How many more pieces does he have left?

“Astumu,” his manager's voice grabs his attention. “The bus is stopping for fuel. Do you want anything from the station?”

“I can go in. It’s late, there won’t be a crowd of people.” He likes to go do his own bidding when he can, even though many times it ends with security having to drag him through crowds.

His manager frowns. “We don’t have security ready to take you in.”

“Who the hell is going to be out this late? It’s 3 a.m. in the middle of nowhere outside Pittsburgh. No one will be there.” Atsumu says, probably more harshly than he intended.

He sighs, but his manager moves out of the way and lets him leave the tour bus. The chilly air hits his warm skin, making him shiver as he approaches the gas station. He recalls the last update from the driver. They’re only 60 or so miles south of Pittsburgh. Then they’ll spend three nights there for the two shows this weekend.

Atsumu was right, there’s almost no one here. The cashier looks half asleep at the register, and there are few cars in the lot. He turns towards the coolers full of drinks, looking for a Gatorade he likes. He locates the light blue color, opens the cooler, and grabs the cold drink.

As he turns, his eyes catch on red hair walking down the aisle next to his. He can’t help himself, he follows it.

“-----,” he says, shocked that you’re in this random gas station.

Looking at you, he takes in your appearance. So different from the night he met you. You’re in casual clothes, pink sweatpants hanging off your hips, with a matching sweatshirt. Your hair is still down, but something about it looks different, maybe it’s the waves in it. You’re without makeup too, but he’s never seen someone so beautiful.

“Atsumu?” You look as shocked as he is. “What are you doing here?” You wave your hand around, and he notices the bag of salt and vinegar chips you’re holding in it.

“Heading to Pittsburgh for our shows this weekend. What are YOU doing here?” Atsumu raises his brows, smiling at you.

“I, uh, I live here. Well, close to here.” You tell him, and he nods but is more confused than ever.

“Then why were you in LA for my show? Wouldn’t Pittsburgh be an easier show to go to for you?”

“Quite the interrogator, huh?” You laugh and Atsumu wants to record it and put it in a song. “If you must know, I won tickets and a hotel room by the venue on a radio contest. I was lucky caller number 7 and got two nights to see you.”

“Oh,” he never considered that. “Are you coming this weekend?”

“Oh no, I didn’t get tickets. They’re really expensive.”

Atsumu’s heart sinks. You won’t be there.

“Come with me. I think I can get you in.” He winks and you laugh. A few moments pass and he realizes you didn’t take it as seriously as he meant it. “I’m serious. Come with us.”

“Atsumu, you can’t be serious.” You laugh, cheeks blushing. He stares at you, again something on his face that you can’t quite read. “Oh, you are.”

He nods. “Pretty serious.”

“Look at me,” you gesture with your hands at your body. “I can’t just hop on the tour bus with you and head off to Pittsburgh. I don’t have anything on me.”

“I can get you whatever you need. I have assistants.” He feels desperate now like this moment is going to change the projection of his life. “Please, —--. I want you there.”

You close your eyes and let out a sigh. “Fine, but we have to go to my place and get my stuff.”

“We can do that!”

–

Atsumu is basically jumping with excitement and you wonder how in the absolute fuck this is happening right now. Of course, he’d find you on your 3 a.m. snack run when you look an absolute mess.

“Okay, let me just go pay for these,” you start to turn for the register, but Atsumu snatches the bag of chips and Dr. Pepper from your hands.

“I got these.” He smiles and the irritation leaves your body. Fuck it, he can afford it.

“Thank you,” you tell him, walking with him to the register. “Are you like… allowed to come with me to get my stuff or are you going to have to wait here for me?”

“Allowed?” He laughs, tapping his card on the card reader. The familiar ping rings in your ears as it accepts the charge. “Of course, I am. I do have autonomy, ya know.”

“Sorry, Mr. Pop Star. Didn’t know if there were any rules you have to follow.” You tell him as he opens the door for you.

“Well, we do need to go tell my manager.” He sighs. “He’s kind of a hard ass. But he can’t stop me.”

“Can I wait in my car for that?” You laugh, not wanting to awkwardly be standing there when they have it out over him going home with a strange girl.

“Yeah,” he laughs. “Which one is it?”

You unlock your car, the lights flashing. “That one. I’ll warm it up for us.”

The nights have begun to become chilly, fall setting in and all. You actually turned your heat on in your apartment tonight for the first time since late spring. You part ways, Atsumu heading towards the bus fueling area and you to your car. It’s a good fifteen minutes before you see him walking to your car, waving his hands with a big smile. You unlock the car and he slides in the passenger seat.

“Went well?” You ask.

“Oh, no. He’s absolutely pissed, but that’s not my problem.” He buckles himself in and you laugh.

“Well, he’s gonna be even more pissed when it takes an hour to get back. I live twenty minutes from here.”

“Oh well,” he shrugs as you put the car in drive.

The radio softly plays his second album and you feel your cheeks warm. “Sorry, I can change it,” you reach for the radio.

He stops you, his cold hand touching yours. You pull back, embarrassed and smiling.

“I like this one a lot. I wish we could still play it.” He tells you, turning it up.

“Why don’t you play it anymore?”

“It just didn’t do as well as others.” He shrugs and you feel bad. It’s not your favorite song, but it isn’t in your bottom tier either.

“You should play it tomorrow.”

“I’ll think about it,” he looks over at you and smiles.

The rest of the car ride you spend humming along to his second album, smiling and giggling when he sings certain lines to mess with you, and having genuinely one of the best times in your life. Hearing Atsumu live, even at his shows, has never sounded like this.

This feels… intimate.

“Welcome to my humble abode,” you say pulling into the apartment parking lot. “Please be quiet though. My roommate is sleeping. Plus she might scream if she sees you.”

“A fan?”

“Yes,” you roll your eyes and get out of the car.

Then you remember… the poster in your room…

“Oh. Um.” You stop him at the door of your apartment. “No laughing at me, but I might have your Rolling Stone cover on my bedroom wall.”

Atsumu laughs, shaking his head. His hair falls over his forehead. “That’s okay. I won’t tease you…. For now.”

“Fine,” you huff and open the door, welcoming him to the apartment. It’s dark so you turn on your flashlight on your phone “Remember, be quiet until we get to my room.”

He nods and follows you. You take off your shoes, and he does the same, then you show him to your room. To your surprise, he is quiet the whole way to your bedroom. Once you turn the lights on and shut the door behind him you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. Your eyes immediately go to the poster adjacent to you.

“Remember, don’t laugh at me.” You turn to him and he puts his hands up in defense, a goofy smile on his face. “Also, I’m sorry about the state of my room.” There are clothes strung about, makeup here and there, and who knows what else is all over your dresser.

“As long as you don’t judge the tour bus, I won’t judge you,” he shrugs and doesn’t look around at the mess.

You pick up a few shirts on your way to the closet, tossing them in a basket to wash later. Honestly, they could be clean and just left out while you were getting dressed and forgotten about, but you don’t want to take the risk.

Atsumu is still standing awkwardly by the door.

“You can sit on my bed if you want,” you laugh, patting the duvet. At least your bed was made tonight.

He sits, crossing his legs and watching you as you go through your stuff to decide what to bring. It takes a few minutes to decide what you want to wear to the shows, but longer to decide what makeup to throw into a bag to go with them. It’s all probably too much but you finally finish packing.

“All done!” You declare, turning with two bags to face Atsumu.

You go to take a step, but your foot catches on a pair of shorts on the floor and you fall on the bed, on top of Atsumu. He reacts, catching you and falling back onto the bed with you hovering over him. He smiles, his face so close to yours now.

“Are you alright?” He asks, barely above a whisper.

You part your lips to speak, but you can’t so you close them. Your heart pounds in your chest. Hyper-aware of Atsumu’s hands on your waist, the feeling of your lower bodies smooshed against each other, and his lips oh so close to yours.

“Yes,” you finally get out and you feel yourself moving towards his lips.

No, you’re not moving; he is.

Atsumu’s lips brush against yours, his right hand leaving your waist and cupping your cheek. His lips are warm and taste sweet like a sugary drink. You kiss him back, trying to will your heart to slow down, sure he can feel it pounding in your chest. His thumb rubs against your cheek, the feeling sending shivers down your spine.

You pull away slowly, catching your breath and looking at Atsumu’s smile.

–

The way you look at him takes his breath away. That kiss, that feeling, it was unlike anything he’d experienced before. He’s aware of how he’s reacting, wondering if you can feel him through his and your pants or if he’s lucky enough that you don’t think he’s a creep.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, and he brushes your hair away from your face and behind your ear.

“I’m not.” He’s regretted things in his life, and this will never be one of them.

You smile and he feels himself relax, “I’m not really sorry either. Well except for the falling on you. That was kinda embarrassing.”

He laughs, laying his head back on the bed and looking up at the ceiling. All of this feels surreal, even with his life the way it is. He watches as you move off of him, picking up the bags you dropped and shoving a few last-minute items into the larger one.

“Ready to go?” You ask him and he rolls off the bed and stands.

“Are you?” He grabs your waist, pulls you into him again, and kisses your forehead.

You feel hot against his lips and he wonders if it’s because of him. When he looks at you again, your cheeks are flushed, so it definitely is because of him.

“Let me take those,” he grabs the straps of your bags as you relinquish them, allowing him to toss them over his shoulder.

“Thank you,” you smile at him and he follows you out of the apartment and to your car.

“You should show me some other music you like on the drive back,” he tells you, placing your bags in the back seat.

“I’ll let you look at my Spotify and choose,” you smile, starting the car and handing your phone to him.

“Let’s see what we’re working with here.” He scrolls through your playlists, laughing at the one random country playlist with early 2000s music in it, and selects one of them.

“Are you serious?” You turn your head and stare at him, waiting for the light to turn green. “Not this one.”

“Too late,” he laughs. “You said I could choose.”

The car ride is filled with silly country songs he chooses, each one making you yell at him for picking it. He even forced you to explain why you selected each one for the playlist. He can’t remember the last time he had this much fun with someone.

You pull the car into the gas station parking lot, pulling up close to the tour bus. He looks at the clock and sees it at half past 4. He hopes that he’s able to sleep at least for a few hours on the bus. He watches as you get out, giving himself a second to gather his thoughts before getting out and grabbing your bags.

To his surprise, his manager doesn’t say anything when they get on the bus. He looks at you, but he can tell it’s not bothering you at least. He shows you to the back of the bus, his room for all intents and purposes.

“You can put your stuff anywhere you want. We’ll have a hotel room when we get to Pittsburgh soon.” He says then realizes you might want your own room. “Should we ask for your own room?”

“Do you want me to be in my own room?” You ask him and he shakes his head.

“I’d hate that, honestly.”

“Then I’ll stay with you.” You move to sit on the bed, looking around the room. “So, this is how Japan’s sweetheart lives on the road.”

“It’s as glamorous as it looks,” he laughs, laying on the bed on his side, his head propped up by his hand. “You get used to it pretty quickly, really.”

You lay down, on your back but turn your face towards him. “Don’t you miss being home, though?”

He shrugs, “Sometimes. I miss my family more than that really. I was glad Osamu stayed with us up until recently, but I won’t see my mom until the end of the tour.”

“I’m sure she’s proud of you.” You tell him and he feels his chest warming. You yawn and he realizes how late, well early, it is.

“You should sleep until we get to Pittsburgh,” he tells you.

“You should too,” you tell him, eyes fluttering shut.

–

When you wake up, Atsumu is draped around you, his breath warm on your neck. You smile, taking it in and enjoying the quiet sounds of his breathing. His body is warm against yours and you’re surprised by how comforting this feels.

How is any of this real?

Yesterday you were working and then decided you needed a break from your dissertation and decided to go get snacks. Now, you’re sleeping on Atsumu’s tour bus in his bed going to his weekend shows.

A knock on the door grabs your attention and you nudge Atsumu.

“‘Tsumu,” you whisper, “someone is at the door.”

“Probably Jeff.” He whispers back. “My manager.” He tears himself off of you and goes to the door.

“We’re in Pittsburgh. Decided to let you sleep here for a few hours, but we need to check in to the hotel and then get to the venue for sound check.” Jeff sounds no-nonsense through the door. “Get your stuff and let's get moving.”

Atusmu shuts the door and you set up on the bed. “Please tell me your hotel room has a bathroom.”

Atusmu laughs, “Of course it does.”

You gather your bags, grateful you didn’t unpack anything and Atsumu helps you take it up to his hotel room. To your surprise it isn’t in the downtown area close to the venue, but instead closer to the suburbs. Perhaps it’s easier for him to have some privacy this way?

The hotel room is the largest you’ve ever been in. The room is as large as your apartment, truly. This is more like what you envisioned when you thought about what it would be like to be on tour with Atsumu, and what fanfictions described.

“I call dibs on the bathroom first,” you say, laughing but completely serious.

“All yours,” he throws himself on the king-sized bed, seeming to fall asleep instantly.

You brush your teeth first before hopping in the shower and taking an everything shower. You scrub, shave, wash your hair and face, and then moisturize your entire body after. As you’re drying your hair with the hotel dryer, you wonder if it's bothering Atsumu’s rest. You peek your head out of the door, still wrapped in the hotel robe.

Atsumu is standing in the middle of the room at the round dining table, eating a slice of orange. “Hey,” he raises his eyebrows, and you close the robe more across your chest.

“Did you order breakfast?” You ask walking in to sit at the table, clearly full of the food he ordered.

“Jeff probably did,” he tells you and sits next to you. “He sent more than enough, clearly.”

You load up a plate with eggs, bacon, and fruit. “Give him my thanks,” you laugh and begin eating.

As you eat together, Atsumu gives you a rundown of tonight's plans, the show isn’t until 7 and he doesn’t go on until about 8. So you have lots of time to kill, but there’s still soundcheck in the late afternoon. But, the plan is to just hang out here until then.

“Plenty of time for me to destroy this hotel room and get you in trouble,” you tease.

“Oh please,” he laughs. “They’d never believe it was me. I have a perfect record of leaving everywhere I stay in great condition.”

“Whoa, goody-two-shoes on our hands.” You tease and he throws a grape at you. “Oh, there goes your clean record.” You say as it hits the floor and he rolls his eyes.

– – –

Atsumu paces around the room and you notice he’s flexing his hands a lot. He’s dressed in a similar outfit he wore in LA, but a slightly different design. The gold sparkles compliment his skin, and you can’t ignore how nice his muscles look. The vest without a shirt is a good look on him.

“Nervous?” You ask, picking at the black skirt you chose for tonight.

“Excited,” he replies. “I love doing this. It makes it all worth it.”

You can’t help but smile back at him, he looks like he’s glowing and he’s not even under stage lighting yet. Maybe he was born for this.

“So, I get to sit in this cozy room and enjoy the show on this television while you perform?” You ask.

“Or, you can come backstage and stand near Jeff. He might not be the best conversationalist, though.” He suggests and you shake your head.

“If I’m here I’ll at least get to see you change throughout the show.”

“Pervert,” he teases and you shrug.

“I’m basically living every fan’s dream right now, let me enjoy it.” You stand up, walking towards him and he takes your hands in his.

“I hope I’m living up to your expectations,” he looks a little sad and you cock your head.

“This is more than I ever imagined.”

He smiles now, leaning forward and pressing his forehead to yours. “Wish me luck,” he says softly.

You break the space between you and kiss him softly. “Good luck,” you whisper against his lips.

He hugs you tightly before pulling away and leaving the room to go get in position to take the stage for tonight’s show. You sit back on a chair in the green room, watching the screen as the cameras start to focus on the stage. The show’s set is just like the two nights you spent in LA until he plays the song you requested. He dedicates it to a special someone, and you want to cry.

He has to mean you, right?

There isn’t anyone else he’s doing this with, right?

You’d be naive to believe he isn’t doing this in every city, but some part of you is holding onto a nugget of hope that what he’s showing you is real. However, even if it isn’t you’ll remember this for the rest of your life.

He joins you for a few minutes a third of the way through the show, and you get to tell him he’s doing amazing. He kisses you before he goes, and then this repeats once more when he changes again. Once the show is over, the band joins him in the green room and you don’t get much time to talk to him. You socialize with everyone, but ultimately end up back at Atsumu’s hotel room. He’s still riding off his high, talking about different nights of the show and how tonight compares.

“I don’t think there’s been a better crowd, truly.” He tells you, tossing himself back onto the bed.

You smile and laugh. “Maybe the East Coast is just better than the West.”

“Maybe,” he laughs and sits up on the bed. “Would it be weird if I asked if you wanted to shower with me?”

You stop moving, “I- uh-” you stutter and shake your head.

He gets off the bed, crosses the room to you, and kisses you. “You can say no, it won’t break my heart.”

He disappears into the bathroom and you let out a sigh of relief.

–

After Atsumu showers, he finds you on the couch, half asleep watching a rerun of a sitcom he’s not familiar with.

“Hey,” he says softly, stroking your hair. “The bathroom is free if you need it.”

You come to and nod. “Thank you,” you yawn before going to the bathroom.

When you emerge you're in black pajamas and your hair braided into two braids. Atsumu can’t take his eyes off of you. He can’t deny your beauty when you’re all done up, but this is something else. He feels like he’s in the presence of a deity.

When you crawl into bed, he pulls you against him, kissing you deeply. You gasp against his lips and he chuckles. He rolls you onto your back, hovering over you and parting your legs with his knee. You whimper as he grazes your core, but he controls himself.

In his head, he hears the melody of the moans he’d bring out of you and feels himself getting hard.

“Atsumu, wait,” you put your hands on his chest and he pulls away.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, pulling away from your lips and looking down at you.

Tears are threatening to spill out of those pretty hazel eyes.

“I can’t do this. I want to go home.”

#atsumu miya #atsumu miya x reader #miya atsumu x reader #miya atsumu #miya atsumu fluff #atsumu miya fluff #haikyuu fluff #hq fluff

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lovemeafterhrs · 1 year ago

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idk if ur takin requests girl but i’m fr begging for any kuroo content like ur suna smoke fic i will pay good good dalla for that

my requests are currently closed but you’ve inspired me so i whipped up a little somethin’ just for you :P

“kuroo.. what the fuck.” you guffaw, making direct eye contact with the googly eyes attached to your roommate’s new six foot bong.

“got it on a sale, you like it?”

“i mean, yeah. but i’m not sure it’s the most practical.” you shrug, taking a closer look at the pools of color trapped inside the glass. “the eyes are a nice touch.”

“right? please tell me you have your grinder.”

“fuck. i’ll call kenma.” you frown, reaching for your phone in hopes of getting ahold of the grumpy blonde that’s currently in possession of the only thing you’re lacking.

after approximately seven calls between the two of you, kenma arrives at the apartment looking like he just crawled out of the trenches of hell.

the first thing that catches his eye is the comically large water pipe, standing tall above everyone in the room besides the rooster-headed man. soulless plastic eyeballs glare at him forebodingly as he takes a few steps towards the couch.

“you losers woke me up after my twelve hour shift for this?”

“well, yeah.” kuroo grins as he reaches for the sealed container.

“you still have my grinder.” you add, tone playful as you wrap your arm around kenma’s shoulders. he hands it over to you with a sigh, letting you lead him towards the couch.

“you left it at my house.” his reply earns an offended gasp from you, pretending his words aren’t completely true as you watch kuroo plop ice cubes down the neck of the bong.

both you and kenma have to stand on top of the couch cushions to even reach the mouthpiece, and each hit is a duel effort as the other lights the bowl from the floor.

kuroo finds it to be far too comical, until he tries to take a hit and it nearly fucking kills him. it doesn’t help that you’re kneeled on the floor in front of him, eyes glazed over as you watch him cough and die.

tetsurou learns far too quickly that his new purchase is more for decoration than practicality, and after a couple rounds around the circle he’s back to rolling joints at the kitchen table.

across from him, kenma’s barely paying attention to his friend’s babbling. he’s far more content silently playing video games on his switch while he waits for you to finally make something to eat, but he supposes it would be kinder to listen for once.

you however, have chosen to tune them out for the time being as you brown strips of chicken on the stovetop.

“it’s a waste of money.” you tune back in just in time to catch kozume’s snide remark, followed shortly by a loud, offended huff.

“it is not! fuck this, i’m trying it again.” just like that, kuroo’s jumping from his seat to prove him wrong. you hear the soft patter of kenma’s footsteps as he follows his friend to the living room, and you focus back in on the task at hand.

your moment of peace does not last for very long.

preparations for dinner are abruptly halted when you hear a loud crash followed by the sound of glass hitting the floor.

a loud screech fills your ears, and you turn the corner to find tetsurou hunched over in front of the remains of his shiny new piece. bong water coats the knees of his pants as he mourns, looking like a kicked puppy as he sniffles from the floor.

“dumbass.” kenma huffs, bowl piece still loaded in his hands as he shakes his head at his best friend.

#opened up my eyes to stoner kuroo..#i just know bro made his own gravity bong before he bought his first piece 😭😭#using this as an opportunity to practice my second person perspective..#kuroo tetsurou #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo tetsurou x reader #haikyuu #kuroo tetsurō #i haven’t written kuroo content since like 2020 im a tad rusty..

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connectionxterminated · 8 months ago

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Live blogging dr2 but very poorly pt1:

hi Hajime, ur great, kisses /p

Nagito is so special to me, baby boy, I love you, you deserve the world, you deserve it all, I want to give you a hug

Just met Gundham, he's so fucking chaotic and I love that for him, also hamsters<3 I used to have a bunch of hamsters as well and I just, aundhddundndhhdhe/pos, I also am kind of relating super fucking hard to him, it's insane

Also met Kazuichi, hehe, his last name is Soda, immediately adoring him

MIKAN SPOTTED. MIKAN SPOTTED. HI BABY GIRL!!!! I MISSED YOU SO SO SO MUCH. She is so fucking augh<3 I want to give her all the hugs and kisses in the whole damn world<333 she could fix me, literally and figuratively

HI IBUKI!!!!! HI!!! HI MY GIRL!!! Aha.. I'm gay. I would totally let her play her guitar and I would sit there cheering her the fuck on because fuck I love her so much

Chicken into cow???? Usami I love you girl, but what

HIYOKO, HIYOKO, HIYOKO. that's it, that's all i had to say

AKANEEEEEE!!!! AKANEE!!!!! MY BITCH!!!!! HIIIII

Hotel future. Love it.

Okay, first person walking, alright, thats, different?

Hi Fuyuhiko, fuckin bastard but in the most affectionate way possible, ur so silly

Mahiru<3333 I want to kiss you all over the face sweet girl, ur amazing

FUCKING UNRELIABLE HAJIME, HAHA, MAHIRU, MY GIRL, CHILL

Nekomaru, my guy, I love you, but please, have some chill, what is it with these characters and having literally no chill whatsoever, don't get me wrong, i love it, BUT HOLY SHIT

"yep." -Nagito

Teruteru, hi my guy, what's up with you, not in a bad way, but, what's up with you. Also, "hello there".

SONIA. SONIA. SONIA. wait nevermind, hah, see what I did there? Sorry, bad pun.

Wait. She didn't have friends???? Aww nooo, my girl,, :(( I'll be ur friend :D

mmm. Not liking Teruteru as much anymore. He's giving me the creeps. Not liking him. Nope. No. Nuh-uh.

I AUDIBLY GASPED. CHIAKI. HI. HI. HI. WE LOVE YOU. WE SEE YOU. WE ADORE YOU. STAY AWAY FROM TERUTERU THO PLEASE.

Pekooooooooooo, Pekooooooooo!!!! I want to give you a hug.

BYAKUYA. MY HUSBAND. MY LOVE. MY BELOVED. MY SWEETHEART. MY BABY. HWHDHSHSSGSGSH. I LOWV YOU SO MUCH WAH. AUGH.

Ding dong Bing bong!!!!!!!

Byakuya stop being impatient.

Hiyoko, I love you, I love your energy

Ah yes, peko, the observant.

And there goes Ibuki being ibuki<33

Kazuichi, please, don't be so laid back, my man, what are you doing

Aaaand teruteru is being weird again. Fuck that guy.

Ibuki this is why I love you

Byakuya, stop calling people names, please

"Small dogs shouldn't bark so loud" BYAKUYA PLEASE

Story time with Byakuya ig

oh music stopped

And creepy music is back

Akane being a whole fucking mood

Music stopped again???

Aaand regular music is back + Ibuki being excitable

Kazuichi you poor soul, you poor poor soul

NOT YOU TOO HIYOKO, PLEASE, STOP BEING SO LAID BACK

"Cretins" I love her.

"Won't be a problem" girl. Girl. Girl girl girl.

Shut the fuck up cunt. (Teruteru)

Aaaand there goes Peko pointing out the obvious<3

"Why don't we just swim home?" GIRL. HOLY SHIT.

Aaaand in comes Mikan with the reasoning. Thank you.

NEKOMARU PLEASE. CHILL TF OUT.

Hi again Usami

Rule follower./aff

*proceeds to recite the rules*

"What if your actions place everyone in danger?" MY MAN COMING BACK FULL FORCE

AN USAMI STRAP??? SQUEEZE TUMMY IT TALKS??? I NEED THIS. RIGHT NOW.

Byakuya, don't call it a waste of time. Shut your mouth you cunt<3/aff

WHY DOES NOBODY LIKE IT??? COME ON.

CHIAKI, VOICE OF REASONING, I LOVE YOU. SHE GETS IT.

NOOOO, USAMIIII DONT CRY MY BABY

Uh oh. Motives

Oh nevermind it's fine

Or is it

Party?

Yes.

TERUTERU. GO TO THE CORNER.

SONIA NO.

Hiyoko why are you so excited about killing a hoop snake

Hajime: There's no way anyone would go swimming!

Literally everyone else: I beg to differ.

Hajime: what

"No danger, nothing tragic, is that really true?" I love you Hajime. You are the only reasonable person ever.

"If so.. am i wrong?" I had faith. Girl. Holy shit.

"The water is too salty" bitch ur too salty

"She's just wrong about so many things" no actually she's right about everything

Sleepy Chiaki<333

THEYRE ALL IN BATHING SUITS HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO PRECIOUS. TO ME.

Fuck you Teruteru.

Ibuki, don't drink the water.

Fuck you Teruteru.

Please punch him Nekomaru.

#{ timeless ; ooc }#danganronpa #drv2 goodbye despair #drv2 #danganronpa 2 goodbye despair #danganronpa sdr2

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earthshipvoice · 1 year ago

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i revisited episode 1 of destined with you. here are symbols, characters, or lines that i overlooked the first time and some i'm still unsure if they will revisit later in the series:

crow / bird

"red hand" who was she, the owner of this hand?

haum ( lawfirm law and high's biggest client and major shareholder. he's appeared twice. episode 1 and episode 6))

catfish ((foreshadow of rituals?))

city hall / onju city hall

being transferred to mr. gong's team

the ominous moon being blood red

haunted house / shrine

shaman / eun-wol

talismans

death ((episode 1 worker at construction site, the son who was exploring the haunted house and episode 6 hong-jo's father))

hong-jo face flushing / blushing ((hong-jo says she flushes when she's stressed -episode 1))

park maintenance team

hong-jo choosing where to eat

rain

deleted video

raincoat // coat

ominous voice: "what took you so long to come here?"

blood falling from eye on woman statue

grim reaper

teahouse / drinking tea

kim sam-bong ((the person sin-yu paid to manage the shrine)) / scammer

father suggests sin-yu quit law firm

sin-yu and alcohol ((trembling liquor))

hong-jo: "so he's from a noble family with a lot of land, a son of a chairman, and a successful lawyer? that jang sin-yu guy? i hate him already."

headache and trembling of sin-yu's right hand / genetic disorder and a chromosome mutation.

sin-yu: "still, try to predict what will happen in the future."

sin-yu's doctor: "you have a time bomb in your head that could explode any time."

elevator / floor 29

sin-yu: "i don't need to be kind to someone who trespassed on my property."

sin-yu: "do you want to go to a teahouse with a grim reaper?"

hak-yeong resigning. why do the people want him to?

jae-gyeong not getting water spilled on him and instead water spilled on hong-jo. (episode 1 and similar mirroring in episode 6)

DS stocks

"the mayor"

attending a funeral

na-yeon: "you feel very distant. you don't tell me important things. tell me about the stuff in detail"

sin-yu: "the one who passed away was my second cousin once removed."

na-yeon: "let's go to sokcho. there's a hotel in front of the sea. i heard the view was amazing."

hong-jo: "yes. well...i turn red all the time. i have rosacea. it's not climacteric."

jae-gyeong: "don't joke about it. i was worried all day."

hong-jo: "by the way, how did you know that i was in charge of the demolition?"

jae-gyeong: "it's written all over your face."

sin-yu dreaming (white flowers, the shrine)

sin-yu: "i have a good personality and am humorous. so people say i'm cute like a puppy. but you only come on the days when i get sensitive. so you're the unlucky one."

hong-jo: "because i'm lonely. i feel like if i sort this out, my team leader will say "let's eat together." ever since i transferred to city hall, i've been eating alone. i eat alone at home, so i don't want to eat alone at work as well. they'll know i'm an outcast. can you please tell me?"

eun-wol: "shaman eun-wol. real name, myeong-eun. i agree to demolish the shrine at mount onju."

eun-wol: "you killed her. the owner of the bloody hand that caresses your cheek. karma will swallow you and you will struggle in horrible pain. but all the pain and curses will end. finally, the owner of the wooden box showed up."

hong-jo: "what a unique guy from a unique family."

does only eun-wol and sin-yu know about the wooden box? what about the rest of his family?

eun-wol: "for the wooden box, you'll find out soon. and you already know the owner."

sin-yu: "who's the owner of the wooden box?"

eun-wol: "the woman you're thinking of right now."

#destined with you #episode 1 #ep 1 #symbols #rewatched it today #just rewatched #omg i missed stuff the first time #symbolism #foreshadowing #mirroring

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sketchbook-stars · 1 year ago

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GLASS EYE JURY QUOTEBOOK

"Oh no what are they up to this time" find out!

"Mind when I airdrop 23 kb of club penguin feet to his brain" -Envi

"I can make my tail change patterns, watch! [CRACK] ..Oh no!" -Tally

"'Nightmare Blunt Rotation' motherfucker you mean your therapists?" -Oreo to Seara

"I can have one abuser in my life as a treat" "ABSOLUTELY NOT." -Cometose, Doppel

"IM REPLACING YOUR MILK ICE CUBES WITH HOTDOG WATER." -Jude

"i need to hire this dude to hype me up to take my antidepressants whenever i get new ones" -Jude

"[loudly] WEEZER??? [weezer riff played full volume] AUUUGGHH" -Seara?

"OF COURSE YOU HAVE HEADMATES. IT CAME FOR FREE WITH YOUR FUCKING TRAUMA. /ref" -Jude

"your kid committed mitosis 🔥" -Cometose

"why's the bug speaking like that" "THERAPY BUG" "OH NAUR" -Spiral, Noximay, Spiral

"Fuck people named Eros ig" "On it 🫡/j" -Cometose, Noximay

From the same incident:

"YOU FLATTENED THE ORCA??" -Amias

"Are you fucking telling me you did a jolly conga line in here and crushed me like a pancake" -Tally

"'I won't tell a soul okay' walks up to soul" -Tally

"An anthropomorphic bug is giving me therapy. It's working, but why?" -Cometose

"FUCK YOU MY DAD IS BUGBO AND ALSO GOD" -Cometose

"Don't worry my abandonment issues are surface level" -Amias

"I am one roar song away from killing you" -Lucid

"Time to pray to Mr. Jash" "WHAT." -Jude, Tally

"Put your hand near me I am innocent and harmless" "ok" "HFHRHEHSGSHRHSHAG" -Seara, (out of sys person), Seara

"UHHH well you see- DISTRACTION! [Leaves Call]" -Eiwen

'EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY- AUTISM VERSUS AUTISM' -Eiwen

"Breaking Bad and Chonny Jash crossover" -Juno

"SHUT UP LET ME MAKE A PRETTY FLOWER FOR MY WIFE" -Juno

"Does a pirate know what pronouns are?" -Jude

"'Whats wrong with you' well erm.. (link to the dms with our abuser) catch up on the lore" -Cometose

"I just pspspsps'd a whole grown man." -Seara

"..comfort bong rip." -Jayshroom

"They took biograft in the divorce...[sobbing]" -Subspace

"silly little guy to traumatized pipeline except the pipeline is structured like a rollercoaster" -Civ

Part 1 of idk. Too tired to add more

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m00ngbin · 1 year ago

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oh my god last night I had a dream that I was hanging out at my aunt's house with some of my friends and I went on a walk by myself while we were playing hide and seek (I think) and I go into a dim area covered in leaves behind some of the houses and I find this GIANT stash of like radioactive ghost bongs and I'm like oh my god what the fuck, am I gonna get murdered for finding this and suddenly this decrepit old man comes up next to me and he says "finally... After five years of searching.... I finally found my stash again" and to myself I'm like woah these are this guy's bongs I should leave he looks kind of gross but then he pulls out this mini bong that has adventure time stickers on it and offers to let me smoke some weed with him cause I was here when he found his stash. Ofc this is dream me and I have no self control or logic and so im like yeah creepy old man I just met, sure I'll smoke some weed with you behind some houses in my aunt's sketchy neighborhood. I trust that this isn't laced and I trust that you're not going to kill me (I did not say most of that I just said yeah sure.) I actually have no idea how bongs work so in my dream he fills it with water, puts some dried weed in that one thing that comes off the side, and lights it on fire. Immediately it starts smoking and bubbling like he put a crap ton of dry ice in it. He offers me a hit and for a second I regain my common sense and say "wait if my mom smells this she's gonna kill me" but then he says " no this is my special strain it hardly smells like anything" and so I'm like " yeah ok." He starts pouring the smoke from inside the bong all over me like champagne at a bachelorette or office party and then he lets me suck it up through the giant pipe at the top (I cannot reiterate enough that I do not know how bongs work. It has mystified me for years and I'm too lazy to look it up and in this dream it is pretty much how I thought it worked irl up until three months ago when I got told I was an idiot for thinking that) I'm breathing in the smoke and when I'm done I realize. I feel exactly the same as I did before. I start getting paranoid because SURELY he's done something to the weed and I'm going to overdose and die and so I start yelling at him and run back to my aunt's house but as soon as I get onto her lawn it hits me and I go DOWN. Turns out the radioactive ghost bong was really a radioactive ghost bong and I have the worst trip of my life (not saying much.) He laced it with shrooms. The dream decrepit old man laced weed with shrooms and gave it to me in a radioactive ghost bong. He was trying to KILL ME

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mandymanifestor · 1 year ago

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i was not born, i was made in a lab to single-handedly reduce the world's supply of henny bud and percs to ZERO. my condition got me itching for a milf to suck. i'll slurp the silicone out a bitch's fake tits like i was inhaling stim video slime through a garden hose. this shit aint NOTHIN to me man. i don't give a fuck if my loud has stems and seeds, i'll straight smoke the dirt it grew on. you invite me to the Function and i'll make that shit mathematically irrational. the zip-22 got the opps squirtin skid marks down the road they run out on. i got so many bitches after me i gotta change my name once a week to keep em off my dick. opps asked for a charitable donation, i beat em to death with a suitcase full of more money than you'll ever see in your life. i've been grinding since before christ was born. this shit aint NOTHIN to me man. I'm sick in the head. im smokin shit granted to me from an entity bearing Mitch McConnel's voice emanating from a storm drain. my diet nothing but bong water, pussy juice, and them proscuttio folds. i'll FUCKIN KILL YOU

#this shit aint nothin to me man

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kobblefort · 2 years ago

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Rushsly: The Early Days 1

So as you can see from the hatch covers I've established a glass-making economy!!! I also catastrophically fucked up trying to dig a moat and make a bridge over it. I think those merchants are just stuck. Well I got them out by designating the bridge+paved road to be deconstructed. Now I have to just make a big-ass bridge which is going to take forever and I don't know if it actually makes a difference but it feels like bigger bridges are slower/less reliable to me. I quite honestly find making defenses very annoying but if all my kobbles died I would be sad so oh well.

I appointed this zesty girl to the position of "Caravan Tactician" (militia commander for you dwarf purists out there) literally just to make her move out of the construction area, but she has "Unmet need: Fight" so I think this could be good for her. She disdains romance AND friendship, I really like her vibe. Well let's hope that fucking bridge gets done soon and for real this time.

Here is my tavern/dining hall overlap (I Don't Give A Fuck) which the kobolds decided to call "The Permanent Snack." The kobbles drink Dwarven wine and rice beer out of green glass goblets. I'll admit I went a little crazy with the jet blocks but when you find jet you make jet blocks and when you make jet blocks you use them, it's really just that simple. Ok? Don't freak out. It doesn't have to be a problem. You can just let things happen. Struggling for control will only tear it away from you sooner. I should know. Dwarf Fortress is a game about how you can do everything right but then your little guys all decide to just jump over a wall and get killed by zombies. You have to just "let the world be" as Big Boss says at the end of Metal Gear Solid 4, which is a game I fucking hate but we don't need to get into that now.

Speaking of rocks and also things I hate, mining has been making me miserable because of this fucking kaolinite shit. This and the plaster-making rock which is named unfortunately close to an anti-Romani slur are the bane of my fucking existence because it means I have to set my auto-mining designations really carefully and specifically instead of just dragging out a big box over the entire floor once I've dug out the shafts.

Here is a good example of what I was just talking about with the whole not having control over things. You might notice how the planned bridge is one pixel taller now! Well you see the kobolds decided they were simply not going to build it. They just automatically suspended construction every time it was ready because of "item blocking site." Can you see the item that blocked the site? I sure can't!!

It's not on this Z-level either!!! But you have to just be thankful for what you have sometimes and you can't forget about that. Green glass isn't the most wildly profitable crafting material or anything but it's functionally infinite. So even if the canceled work orders notification window keeps filling up because your little guys keep forgetting they have entire hordes of charcoal and coke and bags of black sand it's okay, because eventually they will make coffins and statues and altars and serrated discs. Have you ever had the guy at a head shop try to prove how good American-blown glass is by just straight up dropping a bong on the floor and being like "that cheap Chinese shit would have just Shattered bro!" because I have, and I'll give you a word of advice, don't buy that fucking bong, the damage is already done, the only question now is whether it shatters right there in the shop or when you're home and it spews putrid bong water everywhere because you're a disgusting 19 year old bachelor who hasn't learned to actually take care of himself or his things and maybe never truly will. But maybe that's the specialty of American glass. You can pretend it's not broken, and it can pretend it's not broken, and for a while even though it is functionally broken and going to explode at just the clinking of a little ice cube a little too hard, you can tell everyone it isn't technically broken despite the structural damage being certain and irreversible since three weeks ago. I have this weird feeling that we pretend all sorts of things aren't broken in America

Why the fuck is my main production floor like this, what the fuck is wrong with me lol.

The glassblowing floor is quite nice though. I still need to make offices for my little buddies I'm not sure whether I should do it on a stone floor or just carve out into the one loamy sand floor I haven't touched yet.

THEY'RE HAVING A PARTY!!! I love the song that plays when they do this. The way they "dance" by just shuffling positions around the room is also very cute and funny to me. I should probably tell them to pick up those dead critters though I don't know if they'll do it themselves. Probably not, right? What's a dead lizard on the floor at a party, right? A skink is a pretty big lizard to be quite honest. I dated a girl who had a pet skink and I remember being so surprised when I touched it. Their scales are very smooth and supple but completely firm. I mean they've got no give at all. Something about the skink was just like, this guy is harder than he ought to be. I forgot his name. I wish I was not such a shitty partner who took everything personal and broke up over fucking Facebook messenger but you can't turn back time. Besides she isn't even the one I became pitifully, embarrassingly obsessed with for the rest of my life. Parties are a time for socialization so let's learn about some more kobolds! It is almost the end of our first year and we received eight migrants.

Man the cards sure are stacked against her!!! This is Osgi Ritelurk. She is a "competent weaver" but I feel like her miserable hater energies would be pretty well suited to the military if I end up taking that whole angle seriously instead of just focusing on moat + traps. I haven't built a good trap corridor in a while though so that might be what I end up doing instead. Do people still say "trapping out the bando" do people still say "bando." Part of me never left 2014. Why would I? Things still seem like they're going to turn out alright there

On Speechlessmonstrous wants to help, but she also wants to fight. Been there

oh my fucking GOD WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS AGAIN WHERE IS THE ITEM??? SHOW ME TE ITEM YOU DENSE MOTHERFUCKERS

Kikli is a complicated woman. She's like "I don't like to be tied down" but then she owns a pet cat. I guess that's not that weird. Cats will kinda figure their own shit out, they don't need all that much attention. Dogs you have to walk several times a day every day or they're going to go insane and apparently the only way you can deal with that is to just leave them in your apartment building hallway to bark it out for a few hours! It's not like that's a nightmare for the neighbors when it happens at 5 in the fucking morning several times a week or anything. Like sorry guys but you know how dogs are! Just put them in the fucking hallway and make them everyone else's problem like the fucking dad of the serial killer from Heavy Rain. Sorry. I swore I wasn't going to talk about David Cage. I'm not going to talk about David Cage.

Her name is Ty Lovelyseduce

Vala Knitpolish is 9 years old but has two lovers that's kind of fucking weird what kind of mod is this????? I guess it's not that weird if they're her age. I don't know. I don't think children should ever do anything. I think they should be basically hermetically sealed so that you never embarrass yourself and nothing fucked up ever happens. Well for a kobold 9 years old is not a child. She also already has the right political ideals. Again another good candidate for the military if I do one. Peasants always make me mad, like get out of the way and let someone actually good at things do them.

"I'm killing you. I'm killing you. I'm not thinking about anything else. My programming is just, get that fucking guy" - Germ 98

Some rabbits came to trade! I have to resist the urge to kill them. It's not their fault my stupid fucking piece of shit kobolds won't just build a fucking bridge and have to just manufacture imaginary reasons that they can't no matter how I set it up or what materials I use or fucking anything. They have nothing to do with it! But anger like electricity seeks the path of least resistance and I am angry enough to rob these fucking bastards for all of their shit and then put them in cages and throw the cages down a hole. But why would I do that

Yeah come on in guys welcome to Rushsly I'm just trying to figure out why the kobolds have marked some of these tiles of the world just completely fucking forbidden and never to be touched!!!

These tiles!!! These fucking tiles!!!

Trying to get them to remove them led to this fucking disaster

Col Lashshimmers: she was "often lustful" and "found the whole idea of introspection offensive." That's all we ever really learned about her I guess. She gets a green glass coffin in the floor I was thinking about putting offices on. I like to use the same layout for tombs as I do for bedrooms. Don't read too much into that please.

I set up a lever to knock out the supports which I don't know why I built instead of sacrificing any more kobolds to these stupid fucking Cursed Tiles That Must Never Be Touched. Well I guess I get why they were superstitious now! Even though it's kind of their own fucking fault! I mean it's my fault I should have designated that more carefully so that they wouldn't just run out and kill themselves. There's always something you could have done. You didn't have to let anything happen, ever. If you had the courage to say "do you know how fucked up this is" instead of just running away and letting him dig his claws in deeper and convince her YOU were the problem. If you took a deep breath and slowed down and thought about what to do instead of just freaking out impulsively you wouldn't be here playing Dwarf Fortress alone until 4 in the morning, you'd be asleep in the arms of the only person you've truly loved for maybe your entire life. Sorry. I said I wasn't going to talk about David Cage.

I don't know, I guess let's just try the bridge from another angle. Oh you guys are still here? Yeah, hold on, sorry for the wait and that you had to see a woman die in a construction accident. We'll sell you a box full of gems in exchange for a bunch of fruit, meat, booze and cheese please.

I know they're rubbing their paws together pleased as fuck that they managed to pass off a barrel of "tomatillo wine" on us, that sounds fucked up. Well I don't know, I guess Bloody Mary's are supposed to be good. I've never had one and I probably never will.

Destroying the fucked-up failbridge was strangely cathartic. Except we kind of might have accidentally hurt the lapine merchants. Well to be fair it said they "embarked on their journey" a while ago then they just sorta didn't. Like guys don't just stand around, it's fucking dangerous, you literally just saw someone die here a couple days ago, leave.

We get a big fucking migrant wave which means I have to update the pasture which is already feeling like I built it too small because of fucking course I did but I don't want to break into cavern layers yet so I don't know, maybe we should actually just butcher some animals and eat meat. I think the horses should die first because they are horrific grotesque creatures from Hell that were spurned by God. (You can look this up, it's in textbooks)

Lots of new faces!

This bitch's job is Gelder. Her entire job, her purpose and passion in life, is chopping off the fucking nuts of animals. That's how she's made it this far. 28 years old. Gelder. Proficient gelder. Society has a place for each and every last one of us. It's just up to the stupid fucking socioeconomic systems we live under whether we actually get to get in or you just carry boxes full of phone cases back and forth until your legs give out and a guy who walks directly into walls because he's too busy staring at The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy on his phone to look where he's going calls you stupid because you can't figure out what the fuck he meant by his genuinely fucking inscrutable barely-English (even though English is his first language) instructions. Maybe your calling really is to chop the fucking balls off bulls but then you just have to tank emotional abuse from wine-drunk boomers at TGI Friday's until you die because you never met anyone who needed to hire a girl to cut their bull's balls off.

"Sloppedshower" is such a funny surname that I'll resist my deep-seated impulse to kick this wet fucking blanket out. One of the things about hunters and rangers is that they clog up your notifications and waste all your ammo with their shitty hunting, and they LOVE to start guilds and demand big fancy guild-halls even though they contribute less than your average peasant because those guys are at least around to move stuff. How dare they unionize, even though it's actually just a minor annoyance to me that can be, 9 times out of 10, solved by allocating some resources I literally wasn't even doing anything with. I wonder if this is how the capitalist feels about my life, too. Does Kroger too function just the same as the petulant manchild playing his numbers-go-up game with the fake/abstract little people? "I love Undertime Sloppedshower," lol.

I've hit the image limit so I'm probably going to stop here for the night. Osgi Ritelurk was taken by a strange mood. This is her chance to make it in the world. Once you create an artifact you've got it made. I've never seen a dwarf or kobold or whatever else recover from failing to make an artifact though, their tantrum usually just leads them down a spiral so bad they eventually just die because they stopped eating or whatever. I don't know if that's realistic or not. Maybe I failed to make my own artifact a while ago and everything since has been one long slow death spiral. But I don't know, life is full of second chances, especially when you don't think you deserve them. Was it actually squandered if it brought you here? You're still alive. You're not a simulation of a kobold or a dwarf, at least I don't think so, so you can tell yourself "oh well, let's try something else" instead of just going out and punching a guy who is carrying a big sword. Maybe you haven't even been taken by the strange mood that leads you to create your artifact in the first place yet. Maybe I haven't either. Maybe this could be my artifact. Oh jesus fucking christ I hope not

#dwarf fortress #kobblefort

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