#the bloodletters au incorrect quotes

[bloodletters-au]

Captain: Unicorn knows and feels love but he doesn’t know that he knows and feels love. But he knows he doesn’t know, but at the same time he doesn’t know that he knows that he doesn’t know,

[bloodletters-au]

Enderfriend: Phoenix I swear I will kill you and your family

Phoenix: but you are my family

Enderfriend, standing on a cliff ledge: I won’t fucking hesitate

[bloodletters-au]

Stormbringer: good responses to getting stabbed with a knife?

Phoenix: rude

Unicorn: that’s fair

Enderfriend: not again

Captain: are you going to want this back or can I have it?

[bloodletters-au]

Stormbringer: how come you’ve been abnormally nice to me lately?

Unicorn: what do you mean

Stormbringer: you just seem nicer than usual

Unicorn: I’ll punch you in the face if you want

[bloodletters-au]

Unicorn: I need an adult

Captain: I’m an adult

Unicorn, squinting: no you’re not

[bloodletters-au]

Enderfriend: whom'st’d’ve'dist’d'n’t'st’d’ve’ll’s’d’ve’re'n’t'y'all’ll'ven’t’t'whom'st’d'y'all’ve'nt’ll’ve'y'all'oughtn'tt'shan’t’ve'there'dn’t'vet'be'st'dn'mightn’t'ven’t'st’ve'ten'y'all'st’d'n’t’ve’ll'on’t'vehe’d'whom'st’d’ve'dist’d'n’t'st’d’ve’ll’s’d’ve’re'n’t'y'all’ll'ven’t’t'whom'st’d'y'all’ve'nt’ll’ve'y'all'oughtn'tt'shan’t’ve'there'dn’t'vet'be'st'dn'mightn’t'ven’t'st’ve'ten'y'all'st’d'n’t’ve’ll'on’t'vehe’d'whom'st’d’ve'dist’d'n’t'st’d’ve’ll’s’d’ve’re'n’t'y'all’ll'ven’t’t'whom'st’d'y'all’ve'nt’ll’ve'y'all'oughtn'tt'shan’t’ve'there'dn’t'vet'be'st'dn'mightn’t'ven’t'st’ve'ten'y'all'st’d'n’t’ve’ll'on’t'vehe’d'whom'st’d’ve'dist’d'n’t'st’d’ve’ll’s’d’ve’re'n’t'y'all’ll'ven’t’t'whom'st’d'y'all’ve'nt’ll’ve'y'all'oughtn'tt'shan’t’ve'there'dn’t'vet'be'st'dn'mightn’t'ven’t'st’ve'ten'y'all'st’d'n’t’ve’ll'on’t'vehe’d'whom'st’d’ve'dist’d'n’t'st’d’ve’ll’s’d’ve’re'n’t'y'all’ll'ven’t’t'whom'st’d'y'all’ve'nt’ll’ve'y'all'oughtn'tt'shan’t’ve'there'dn’t'vet'be'st'dn'mightn’t'ven’t

Phoenix: *screaming into a pillow*

[bloodletters-au]

Phoenix: you’re a loose cannon, Stormbringer

Stormbringer: no, I’m not. I’m a cannon maybe, but a loose cannon? is that what you think of me?

Captain: I think you play by your own rules

Enderfriend: no way, he thinks rules were made to be broken

Supernova: those are all the attributes of a loose cannon

Stormbringer: no, I’m just a reckless renegade. Unicorn is a loose cannon

Unicorn: *smashes a chair*

[bloodletters-au]

Stormbringer: bye Phoenix! bye Captain! bye Supernova! bye Unicorn! bye Enderfriend! bye Phoenix!

Unicorn: you said ‘bye Phoenix’ twice

Stormbringer: he’s my favorite

[bloodletters-au]

Enderfriend: I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on

Phoenix: it’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and Captain isn’t

Enderfriend: oh

[bloodletters-au]

Supernova: how many kids do you have?

Captain: biologically, emotionally, or legally?

[bloodletters-au]

Stormbringer: there are seven chairs and ten kids. what do you do?

Phoenix: have everyone stand

Captain: bring three more chairs!

Enderfriend: the most important ones can down?

Supernova: have all of them sit on the floor

Unicorn: kill three

[bloodletters-au]

Supernova: you know, not every problem can be solved with a sword

Captain: that’s why I carry two swords

[bloodletters-au]

Stormbringer: *laying on the floor having an existential crisis*

Phoenix: *quietly lays next to him*

Unicorn: *shakes head in defeat and sits next to the two*

Enderfriend: *lays body on top of Stormbringer like a cat*

[bloodletters-au]

Captain, drunk: hey~ we should date~~

Supernova, gesturing to her ring finger: we’re engaged

Captain, looking incredulously at her ring: OH MY GODS

[bloodletters-au]

Captain: *kisses Supernovas cheek*

Supernova: what was that?

Captain: affection (:

Supernova: disgusting

Supernova:

Supernova: do it again

[bloodletters-au]

Enderfriend: if you can’t beat them, dress better than them