#the big bad wolf came and ate us for no reason <3' which is the same as refusing to give an answer but worse

[kushanna]

i realize now i had already visualized a possibility for compromise for ange similar to what ep. 8 is doing but through eva instead, since the only option she'd have instead of refusing to say anything or tell ange a truth too painful for her to bear, plus i don't think ange would ever believe it coming from eva, would be to paint the massacre in a different light, essentially lying to ange, but doing so in a way that would satisfy her need to understand october 4th but that wouldn't damage their relationship and also keep ange away from realities she'd have a hard time coping with. not necessarily saying this would be the "correct" choice for her since it's hard to discuss what's the most moral choice for a single human person to take after they survive a situation where folks planned to murder everyone in sight and erase the crime with a bomb and where she is being accused of things she has partially done (eva has indeed killed kyrie and rudolf like ange accuses her of. context aside, that was a thing she did do). and also maybe this is impossible in the real world. but now ep. 8 seems to be doing a somewhat similar thing and i hate it so. welp. that sucks, doesn't it

[onceinabluehanguangjun]

into you like a train (3/5)

warning: minor mention of a past injury

previous | next

ao3

The next day passed in silence. 

No rambunctious man came knocking on the door and Lan Zhan took this as a sign that he could actually finish grading his papers. He sipped his tea and made sure he ate and kept his mind busy until night. He didn’t let himself think about Wei Ying until he was in bed again and his face wouldn’t leave Lan Zhan alone. He was good looking and kind and probably thought Lan Zhan was too weird to speak to.

Which was fine. Normal. It happened.

The day after that, though, Lan Zhan decided to go on a walk and attempt to enjoy himself since he would only be here for a couple more days. There were tons of paths around the cabin and the snow was beginning to melt, so it wasn’t as cold. He bundled up nonetheless and put in only one of his earbuds so he could still be aware of his surroundings. 

It was going pretty well and he managed to feel relaxed despite the fact he was in the middle of nowhere. He supposed it helped that he’d met Wei Ying and learned how tight-knit this community was. It felt safe to wander around in. Which is the mindset he had up until he heard rustling in the trees and something rammed onto his leg before latching on.

His first instinct was to kick whatever it was away from him, but he thankfully had the foresight to look down first and managed to stop himself once he realized it was a child. Lan Zhan stared down at it as he caught his breath and the child stared back with wide, tearful eyes.

“What…” he trailed off, blinking down at it. Only that apparently didn’t sit well with the child because it immediately started crying. So much for relaxing.

He had about a full five seconds to worry about being accused of kidnapping before he heard another voice.

“A-Yuan!”

Within a few seconds, Wei Ying burst through the trees and skidded to a stop once he saw the child in question, catching his breath. He spared Lan Zhan a glance before he walked up and pried the child off his leg, hiking him onto his hip.

“What did I say about running off in the woods like that?” Wei Ying scolded.

“Don’t,” the child, A-Yuan, whined out. Wei Ying sighed and shook his head.

“Yeah, don’t, so don’t do it. You could run into a wolf that’ll snatch you up and steal you away and you’ll have to live in a cave and become a wolf yourself. Is that what you want, to become a little wolf-man?” Wei Ying told him, poking him in the stomach. A-Yuan gasped and dramatically hid his face in Wei Ying’s shoulder.

“No wolf!”

“Then don’t run away from me,” Wei Ying told him, “I should get you a leash.”

Lan Zhan blinked between the two, trying to make sense of it. Wei Ying, the drunken primary school teacher who makes pastries at the crack of dawn and goes grocery shopping for candy and energy drinks and spent hours with him a couple of nights prior, had a little boy. Was there anything this man could do that wouldn’t throw Lan Zhan off?

“I’m sorry, again, he gets excited when he sees animals in the woods and runs off sometimes,” Wei Ying said to him, laughing slightly. It wasn’t the big boisterous laughter from before though, it was a little uncomfortable. “I’m really ruining your vacation, aren’t I?”

Lan Zhan swallowed softly and thought about his brother’s words. Maybe it was fate. Maybe he wasn’t annoying him.

“No,” Lan Zhan said. Wei Ying blinked in surprise and then his smile broke out into the real thing.

“Good,” he said, carefully putting A-Yuan back down. He immediately latched onto Wei Ying’s leg and looked up at Lan Zhan with big, piercing eyes. Lan Zhan had never really been around children that little before, not since he was one. Even the kids he student taught were much older. “If it makes it any better, he only hugs the legs of people he likes. So at least we know he has taste.”

“He’s yours?” Lan Zhan asked despite his better judgment. Wei Ying put a hand on A-Yuan’s head and puffed out his chest dramatically.

“I gave birth to him,” Wei Ying said. Lan Zhan blinked and the other man divulged into laughter. “By proxy, of course.”

So he was married or perhaps had a girlfriend. That meant it didn’t matter whether Wei Ying was aesthetically pleasing or not. For some reason, that didn’t make Lan Zhan feel any better.

“Tall gege,” A-Yuan said, pointing up at Lan Zhan. Wei Ying grabbed his hand to stop him from pointing at him.

“Yes, very tall gege. Giant gege. Skyscraper gege,” Wei Ying said, winking at Lan Zhan as if they had some sort of inside joke, “Isn’t that right, Gege?”

Lan Zhan blinked and felt his ears grow warm, his hand clutching his phone a bit tighter at the tone of his voice. Wei Ying laughed, but he didn’t mention anything about Lan Zhan’s reaction if he noticed. 

“Mn,” Lan Zhan hummed. Wei Ying smiled so brightly his eyes squinted and he scrunched up his nose. It was overwhelmingly cute in a way Lan Zhan had no idea how to handle.

“But let’s just call him Zhan-gege,” Wei Ying said. A-Yuan nodded. “Alright, well, I don’t want to bother you anymore and I promised this one lunch, so,” Wei Ying said, getting a better grip on A-Yuan’s hand so he couldn’t run away again, “It was nice seeing your face again, Lan Zhan.”

“Mn.”

Lan Zhan stayed still as Wei Ying went to walk away, but A-Yuan seemed to root himself into place with his eyes on Lan Zhan. It was a little awkward and disjointed, the two of them silent and just blinking at each other. Wei Ying snorted.

“A-Yuan, come on,” he said. A-Yuan looked up at him and then back to Lan Zhan and then looked back up to Wei Ying before waving at him to come down. Wei Ying smiled and crouched down, letting A-Yuan lean close to his ear.

“Zhan-gege’s all alone,” he not-so-quietly whispered. Lan Zhan instantly felt uncomfortable at that, but Wei Ying didn’t seem to think it was an accusation. He just rolled his eyes.

“Some people like taking walks alone,” Wei Ying explained, “Shushu does that all the time.”

A-Yuan looked back to Lan Zhan and then leaned to whisper again. “Zhan-gege eats lunch all alone?”

Wei Ying looked up to Lan Zhan for a moment. He seemed to be trying to say something with his eyes alone, but Lan Zhan didn’t know him well enough to translate.

“A-Yuan, let’s not bother him, okay?”

“But he needs a friend,” A-Yuan said, insisting like Wei Ying clearly wasn’t understanding. Lan Zhan was beginning to feel like this child was given a script directly by his big brother to guilt him into spending more time with Wei Ying.

Wei Ying sighed and stood up straight, looking at Lan Zhan. He looked so grown with A-Yuan there, it was a weird juxtaposition from the lively and childish man he’d seen every other time. It was intriguing.

“Feel free to say fuck off, but would you like to join us for lunch?” Wei Ying said, giving a small smile as he reached up to scratch the back of his neck, “No hard feelings if you don’t want to, but I thought I’d ask.”

Lan Zhan swallowed softly and looked down to the little boy who was looking up at him with big, pleading eyes. He thought about Wei Ying saying how most of the children up here don’t venture down the mountain for most of their lives, they don’t meet new people very often. He thought about his own childhood, how his uncle had kept them under strict rules to keep them in line and kept them away from others, and how that probably led to him being so inept at social interaction. Maybe… Maybe he could convince himself he was helping.

“Okay,” Lan Zhan agreed. Wei Ying’s eyes widened and then he smiled, looking so completely and utterly thrilled. It made Lan Zhan’s stomach hurt, honestly. Just… not in a bad way.

“Ah, it’s A-Yuan’s little face, isn’t it? Hard to say no,” Wei Ying said, reaching down to squeeze A-Yuan’s face in his hand. “Well, let’s go.”

Lan Zhan awkwardly followed them, listening to them both talk like it was just easy to rattle off a conversation like that with no fear of rejection. A-Yuan would ask a question and Wei Ying would immediately have an answer, regardless of if it made sense or not. 

“Baba, what’s that?”

“Ice, you know that.”

“Why?”

“Because the snow is melting.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s getting hotter.”

“Why?”

“Because the temperature is never the same, changes every day.”

“Why?”

“Climate change, probably.”

“Oh.”

Lan Zhan thought about when he was little and if his uncle had allowed him to ask why that much. He couldn’t imagine that he had, especially since unnecessary noise wasn’t allowed. A-Yuan clearly didn’t have that rule as he asked questions and, when he didn’t have anything to ask, he would hum a little song he made up as he led the way.

Wei Ying bobbed his head along to the song, approving of it and not scolding if it was off-key or annoying. He just let it happen. Lan Zhan immediately felt his heart clench as he thought that he was probably a very good father.

“Zhan-gege,” A-Yuan said, looking up to Lan Zhan all of the sudden. It scared him a little. What if he didn’t have answers like Wei Ying? “Do you know my song?”

“No, he doesn’t,” Wei Ying cut in.

“Shh, Baba, don’t interrupt big kids,” A-Yuan said, eyes wide as if he was truly scandalized. Wei Ying smiled and looked over to Lan Zhan, miming a zipper over his lips. “Zhan-gege?”

“Which one?” Lan Zhan asked slowly. A-Yuan took a deep breath and sang a little tune about the snow falling. Simple, childlike, wordy. 

“And it hits the ground and it sticks to the grass and the trees and the stuff,” Wei Ying sang along, leaning towards Lan Zhan and nudging his shoulder. Lan Zhan’s face felt warm.

When A-Yuan finished, he looked up to Lan Zhan.

“I don’t know it,” he admitted, “But I can learn.”

A-Yuan nodded like that was a valid response which was exciting enough, but the look on Wei Ying’s face made Lan Zhan feel like he was short-circuiting. It was something that seemed to be sheer adoration and soft and warm and for him. It was too overwhelming and Lan Zhan turned his eyes to the ground.

“Zhan-gege,” A-Yuan continued.

“Mn?”

“Wanna see the snowman me and Baba made?” he asked. Lan Zhan looked at Wei Ying who was already pulling out his phone as if to find pictures.

“Sure.”

“Baba,” A-Yuan said, reaching up for his phone, “I can do it.”

“Oh, you can?” Wei Ying teased before handing it to him. They both watched as A-Yuan carefully held the phone and went to the pictures, finding it easily. “Guess you can.”

“Zhan-gege,” A-Yuan said again, reaching up to him with expectant, grabby hands. 

Lan Zhan looked to Wei Ying for permission and he held his hands up like he wasn’t a part of the equation. A-Yuan continued to wait patiently to be picked up until Lan Zhan did his best to do just that. When Lan Zhan looked over to Wei Ying for approval, all he got was the man smiling forward and continuing his walk.

“See, look,” A-Yuan said, showing him the pictures of him with a snowman with a smile that seemed to be a direct imitation of Wei Ying’s. 

“Mn.”

He slid to the next picture which was a selfie with Wei Ying, A-Yuan, and the snowman. A-Yuan started to tell him about it with a sea of breathy, disjointed sentences that only made a little bit of sense. Lan Zhan nodded along and it was enough. He was beginning to think that children were much easier to be around than adults. They didn’t require that much input.

Before Lan Zhan even knew it, they were towards the bottom of the mountain and at a little restaurant. It was a part of the same circle of shops that the tea house was and was probably a way for the people on the mountain to make money. A-Yuan pointed excitedly at a fish tank the moment they walked inside the restaurant. 

“Zhan-gege, look!”

“I’ll get a table,” Wei Ying said, leaving Lan Zhan with a toddler on his arms and an allegedly mesmerizing fish tank. He tried not to be overwhelmed by that responsibility.

“Hi, fishy,” A-Yuan cooed, his voice soft as he reached out. Lan Zhan caught his hand before he could touch the glass.

“That scares them,” he explained. A-Yuan nodded thoughtfully.

“Sorry, fishy,” he not-so-quietly whispered, “Zhan-gege, Zhan-gege, Zhan-gege.”

“Hm?”

“What’s its name?”

“I’m not sure,” Lan Zhan answered honestly. A-Yuan pouted for a moment.

“Can I name them?” he asked. And Lan Zhan didn’t see why not.

By the time Wei Ying came to lead them to the table, they’d compiled the names Fluffy, Fire, and Fins for three of them. Fire (a bright orange goldfish) was only allowed to be said in an angry voice, of course. He was a little sad to say goodbye, but he waved at them nonetheless. And, yes, Lan Zhan was convinced that children were better than people at that point.

Lan Zhan put A-Yuan down in his chair and he sat politely, eyes focused on the screen of Wei Ying’s phone. He opened some game on it and was immediately entranced. Which left Lan Zhan to have to make conversation with Wei Ying.

“He likes you,” Wei Ying reiterated, smiling, “He’s usually shy.”

Lan Zhan didn’t know how to respond to that.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying said, tilting his head, “What do you like to eat? We’ve talked so much and I’ve never seen what you eat.” 

Lan Zhan didn’t think they’d spoken that much all.

“I don’t eat meat,” Lan Zhan said softly, “But that’s my only restriction.”

“Ah, okay, okay, I can work with that!” he said excitedly, looking through the menu. Lan Zhan blinked and grabbed his own menu, carefully opening it. He wasn’t sure if Wei Ying was planning on finding him something or not. 

And, honestly, it was a relief when Wei Ying did order for him and Lan Zhan didn’t have to worry about it.

“So, Lan Zhan, how do you like it here?” Wei Ying asked. 

Lan Zhan thought about it for a moment. It was quiet and peaceful, which was good. The people, so far, were nice enough. All of his panicking so far was his own fault. Really, the only bad thing was that it wasn’t home.

“It’s nice.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought when I first moved here. I promise it grows on you a whole lot more the longer you stay. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,” Wei Ying said decidedly, smiling as he looked over to his son. When his eyes came back to Lan Zhan, he leaned forward and made that face like they had an inside joke again. “Well, I’d like to travel more, but don’t tell him that.”

“Gusu is nice,” Lan Zhan said slowly, “Child friendly.”

Wei Ying raised an eyebrow and sat up straight. “Lan Zhan, is that an invitation?” Lan Zhan’s eyes drifted anywhere but at him, desperate to seem casual. It wasn’t an invitation. Or, at least, he didn’t think it was. “I’m teasing! Yes, I’ve been to Gusu, it’s nice. The liquor there is the best I’ve ever had.”

“I don’t drink,” Lan Zhan said. Wei Ying’s eyes widened a little and he laughed.

“Oh, then why did you put up with me?!” Wei Ying asked, laughing enough to get A-Yuan to look up at him, “You’re far too kind, Gege.”

Lan Zhan waited for a moment to try and gauge if the question was meant to be rhetorical or not. When Wei Ying didn’t say anything further, he decided it wouldn’t be terrible to answer either way.

“I didn’t want you to be cold,” he said‒if only because it sounded much better than saying he didn’t want him to die and freeze to the front door. For his part, Wei Ying smiled so wide his eyes formed little crescents and he gave that blissful little hum that made Lan Zhan feel at home.

It took Lan Zhan until the food came before he realized that probably wasn’t a good feeling to have for a man who was probably in a committed relationship with a son who also happened to live two hours away from his home.

And yet…

“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, try this,” Wei Ying said, leaning over the table with a spoonful of whatever sort of congee he’d gotten. His fingertips touched the bottom of Lan Zhan’s chin and he found himself opening his mouth and letting Wei Ying give him a taste. It was strange and his eyes scanned the room once he sat back, expecting judging eyes to be on them. Instead, no one was phased. “Good?”

“Mn.”

“Baba, my turn,” A-Yuan said, opening his mouth wide. Wei Ying laughed softly and got a spoonful of A-Yuan’s own meal before shoveling it into his mouth carefully.

“Good, A-Yuan?”

“Mhm!” A-Yuan said, nodding as he did his best to chew with his mouth closed. Lan Zhan found himself grateful for that. He hated the sound of people eating.

“Try yours,” Wei Ying urged, eyes shining as he gave his attention back to Lan Zhan. The more he kept his attention on him, the more he found himself rather okay with it. Maybe even preferring it. That was strange.

Still, Lan Zhan looked at his own meal of what seemed to be primarily tofu and beans. It wasn’t too different from what he’d feed himself, maybe a bit more red-tinted than he’d typically choose. He grabbed his spoon to take a bite and‒

“Do you like it?” Wei Ying asked. Lan Zhan froze a bit as his mouth started burning. He swallowed it nonetheless, but he was sure he wasn’t subtle enough when he immediately grabbed his glass of water. Wei Ying just laughed. “There’s no way that’s spicier than mine!”

And maybe it wasn’t and Lan Zhan had simply been too distracted to notice that time.

“Let me try,” Wei Ying suggested, opening his mouth in a childish way that seemed to mimic A-Yuan more than anything. Lan Zhan, despite the burning in his mouth, found himself fighting a smile. 

In the most out of character move he’d ever make in his life, Lan Zhan found himself taking a spoonful of his meal and feeding it to the man across the table. He was sure his face was on fire, but Wei Ying didn’t notice as he tilted his head left to right as he weighed if it was hotter than his or not.

“Hmmm,” Wei Ying hummed, “It’s definitely not hotter than mine, but, if it’s too hot, you can switch with A-Yuan.” Lan Zhan stared at him with a blank expression which just got Wei Ying laughing. “I’m teasing!”

“Zhan-gege,” A-Yuan called, reaching over with a spoonful of his food.

“Be careful,” Lan Zhan said mindlessly as he scooted the chair in a bit more so he wouldn’t fall, still taking the bite he was offered. A-Yuan smiled all bright and sweet. “It’s very good.”

When he looked back to Wei Ying, he got that soft little look again that made his heart beat a bit oddly in his chest. He turned his eyes down to his food so he didn’t have to focus on it.

“If it’s too hot, we can ask for something else,” Wei Ying offered. Lan Zhan shook his head. There were a lot of things he’d rather do than send his food back for something else, including skydiving or giving a speech in front of the entire country.

“I’m fine.”

“Okay,” Wei Ying said, voice teasing and sweet.

For the first time in his life, a meal wasn’t silent. Sure, Lan Huan had loud meals with his friends sometimes, but never ones that included him like this. A-Yuan and Wei Ying both kept him in conversation, a constant stream of ‘Gege’ all meant to make sure he knew he was being spoken to. It was better than going on a walk by himself.

Lan Zhan ended up paying despite protests from Wei Ying‒”I invited you!” “You paid for tea.” “That’s not at all the same amount of money as a meal for three!” “Mn. Too late.” “Lan Zhan!”‒and they left to head back home. A-Yuan was a bit quieter this time and Lan Zhan almost asked if something was wrong, but Wei Ying beat him to it.

“Come here,” Wei Ying told A-Yuan, crouching down in front of him. Lan Zhan watched as he used his sleeve to wipe his nose and then fixed his little scarf around him, tucking it into his jacket. “You want me to carry you?” A-Yuan shook his head which earned a raised eyebrow from Wei Ying. “You want to walk?”

“Zhan-gege,” A-Yuan said, holding his arms up to him. 

“Eh, A-Yuan, let’s not bother Gege, okay? He carried you already,” Wei Ying said.

“I don’t mind,” Lan Zhan offered. Wei Ying looked up at him.

“Aiya, Lan Zhan, if you keep this up, how am I supposed to let you leave?” he teased. Lan Zhan decided any answer he had to that wouldn’t be a good one and instead just picked up A-Yuan. “You’re smiling again.”

Lan Zhan ignored him again, letting A-Yuan lay his head on his shoulder as he continued to walk. Wei Ying laughed and kept up the pace.

“Are we just going to Jiejie’s cabin?” Wei Ying asked. Lan Zhan looked at him over A-Yuan’s head.

“I can walk you home if you’d prefer.”

Wei Ying just smiled at him and shrugged. “Either way, I don’t mind. Whatever means I get to bother you longer.”

“You don’t bother me,” Lan Zhan said. I bother you, he didn’t say. 

"I keep telling you, Lan Zhan, I'm very annoying," Wei Ying teased, though Lan Zhan was beginning to think they weren't jokes. Maybe they had more in common than he originally assumed.

"Mn, as am I." 

"No, you're not, you're perfect," Wei Ying laughed. Lan Zhan kept his eyes forward.

"Then so are you."

Wei Ying took a deep breath, loud enough for Lan Zhan to notice, and let himself laugh it off. Again, Lan Zhan couldn’t help but notice how much his presence was a welcome one. In fact, he didn’t want him to leave. The only other person with who he’d felt so comfortable was his brother. It was strange.

Was this the way Lan Huan felt about everyone?

“Did he fall asleep that quickly?” Wei Ying asked softly, leaning close to check A-Yuan. Lan Zhan craned his neck to see he was indeed sound asleep, eyes closed and breaths even. The adoration Lan Zhan felt was only broken by the close proximity of Wei Ying’s breath on his jaw. “I can take him.”

“Wouldn’t that wake him?”

“Maybe, but he was just being a brat when he wanted you to carry him. Don’t feel obligated to,” Wei Ying insisted. Lan Zhan shrugged carefully.

“I don’t mind.”

Wei Ying’s fingers grazed his spine as he put some space between them again and A-Yuan’s presence was the only thing that kept Lan Zhan from shivering. It still covered his body in chills that didn’t make sense. He looked over to Wei Ying again and noticed the way the sun shined through the trees and seemed to capture him perfectly. Maybe aesthetically pleasing was too modest for him.

“Ah, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying said, sighing loudly as he threw his arms out. Lan Zhan nearly shushed him so he wouldn’t wake A-Yuan, but the boy didn’t even stir and he had to assume he was accustomed to a father that spoke this much. “You are far too much.”

“Too much?” Lan Zhan asked carefully.

Wei Ying looked at him, exasperated almost. That almost sick feeling knotted in his stomach all over again.

“You watch over me when I get drunk and nearly ruin your vacation, you entertain me when I talk at you for hours, and now you’re entirely unphased and kind to my kid? I’m only one man, Lan Zhan, and you’re simply too good to be true,” Wei Ying stated. His tone of voice sounded like he was complaining, but his words and his smile told an entirely different story. Lan Zhan had no response.

“Mn.”

Wei Ying laughed that warm laugh of his and it led into a groan, his head tilting back. His face was flushed a deep red. This time, it was clear it had nothing to do with the cold or alcohol. Lan Zhan couldn’t take his eyes off him. 

“What are you doing to me?” he asked. It was a question Lan Zhan was convinced was rhetorical. Wei Ying was in a relationship with a child and lived on his mountain that people never moved away from‒Lan Zhan had done nothing to mess with any of that. It wasn’t a real question.

So Lan Zhan didn’t answer and they finished their walk to the cabin.

Wei Ying used the key to unlock the door and Lan Zhan took A-Yuan to the bedroom without thought, laying him on the neatly made bed. He carefully moved the blankets to cover him up and Wei Ying grabbed the pillows to make a barricade between his son and the edge of the bed.

When they found themselves back in the main room, Lan Zhan found himself face to face with this man who was somehow both the most comforting and most anxiety-inducing man he’d ever met. Wei Ying stared right at him, not wavering from eye contact even a little. Lan Zhan waited for him to speak first.

“My adoptive mother doesn’t like me,” Wei Ying said. It came out of seemingly nowhere, but Lan Zhan stayed silent. “She’s convinced herself that her husband had an affair and that I’m the product of that affair, so she takes it out on me. Always has, probably always will no matter what. It’s fine. But… When I got a bit older, I learned it didn’t matter what I did because she would hate me no matter what. So I spiraled. Got kicked out of boarding schools, isolated myself, lost contact with my siblings, was just reckless and caused a lot of collateral damage. Got in a fight one night and Wen Ning tried to save my ass, but he got pushed and slammed his head on the edge of a concrete slab. He was unconscious for days because of brain swelling. And even then, he and his sister picked me up, dusted me off, brought me home, and helped me to get my shit together. I’m still trying to make up for the trouble I caused, but… Anyway, that’s why I was so drunk I couldn’t stand it. Anniversary of the day I nearly got my best friend killed, so, you know. Bad coping, whatever.”

Lan Zhan blinked a few times and he took in the words he was saying. Honestly, the drunk version of him didn’t seem like the type to get into fights. But, then again, maybe that spoke of his progress. He hadn’t seemed like that since he met him, either. He was kind and friendly and a good father.

“Date number two, so there’s your answer,” Wei Ying offered, voice a bit softer. It was only then that Lan Zhan realized he should’ve probably responded.

“Date number two?” Lan Zhan echoed instead of anything relevant. Namely, because every date he ever recalled had been uncomfortable and awkward and, so far, the two “dates” he’d had with Wei Ying had only gotten awkward when he realized they were dates. Wei Ying smiled and let out a breathy laugh, shrugging. 

“Or something, I guess,” he said, still searching Lan Zhan’s face for something, “I stopped drinking every other night of the year, though, just so you know. And-and one day I plan to stop drinking on that day, just, so, like, you know you’re not getting into something toxic. If you want to get into something at all, that is. With me, I mean. Like, a thing.”

Wei Ying spoke a lot, often in circles, and yet that was the first time Lan Zhan hadn’t quite understood.

“I’m sorry?” he said. 

“You still like me, right? That’s what I’m asking,” Wei Ying simplified. Lan Zhan found himself nodding before he could even really think too much about it. It earned him that bright smile as Wei Ying relaxed a bit more. “Good. Cool. Awesome.”

“Mn.”

Wei Ying stood there, his fingers tapping against his thighs as he looked at Lan Zhan. It was almost distracting, but, considering Lan Zhan’s sole focus was on him anyway, it didn’t really matter. Still, his eyes went to them, watching the way his hand moved. Did he do that before? Instinctually, Lan Zhan’s thumb rubbed between his fingers.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying said. Lan Zhan’s head lifted to look him in the eyes again, but he didn’t even get to see what his name was called for before lips were on his.

Lan Zhan had never been kissed before. He’d gotten close to it, but he usually stopped them with polite declines. This one, for some reason, he wasn’t so eager to decline. The whole process seemed to slow his brain down. Wei Ying’s lips were warm and comforting, similar to his voice and his laugh and his smile. It was fitting and safe and maybe Lan Huan was onto something when he tried to tell him how nice it was to have someone to kiss.

Wei Ying broke the kiss only a few moments after it started, keeping it chaste and experimental and it took a few seconds for Lan Zhan to open his eyes again. When he met his gaze, Wei Ying was smiling at him in the most hesitant way he’d seen since he met him.

“Was that alright?” Wei Ying asked. Lan Zhan nodded once before he remembered that there was a whole child right in the next room.

“Aren’t you married?” Lan Zhan asked. Wei Ying’s eyes widened in shock and confusion.

“What? Where did that even‒Oh, A-Yuan, no. No, no, no. I’m single. Very single. So single,” Wei Ying insisted, nervous laughter bubbling out of him, “Ah, Lan Zhan, I can’t believe you let me carry on that way thinking I was married, how shameless.”

Lan Zhan’s face grew hot at that, feeling a bit ashamed now that he thought about it. Perhaps he should ask that question earlier next time instead of letting what he thought was a married man insist they were going on dates. If there was a next time, that is. He didn’t really anticipate that happening considering it took so many years for Lan Zhan to even find this one person.

“He’s adopted. When I first moved here, I got really close to one of the older women who had lived upon this mountain her whole life. She raised A-Yuan, but when she died, I took him on full time. Sort of. It’s sort of a communal thing, really, but he calls me Baba and spends most nights sneaking into my bed, so he’s basically all mine,” Wei Ying explained, his normal teasing air coming back. He reached forward to nudge Lan Zhan, but kept his hand on his arm. “You’re silly.”

“I’m not‒”

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying laughed, his hand sliding down to Lan Zhan’s. He grabbed it and squeezed tight. Lan Zhan’s heart was slamming into his chest and his head was spinning and his stomach was tied in knots and yet he wanted none of it to stop. “Ask me anything and I’ll give you the answer. I’m sorry I confused you.”

Ask me anything, Wei Ying said. Lan Zhan swallowed as that sentence looped in his mind and he thought about, well, everything. Everything his brother told him, everything he’d read in stories and seen in movies, everything he’d never felt before, everything he’d convinced himself were lies. And yet here he was, wanting to kiss this man again simply because it felt nice. That was overwhelming and he decided he would think about it later instead.

Which, in itself was impressive.

“Can you kiss me again?” Lan Zhan asked instead of asking something about Wei Ying’s life. He’d learned a lot in the last few minutes, more than he’d learned in the many conversations he’d had with him before. He could take a break, couldn’t he?

Wei Ying smiled bright and nodded, leaning into him.

“You have no idea how badly I’ve been waiting to hear that.”

[purplesurveys]

1006

(found at xxbieberburnham)

“The rest of your life”

Are you independent or dependent? Dependent as all hell. I’ll put my foot down on very certain things, but most of the time I prefer hearing input or suggestions from people I trust. I definitely think it’s something I still have to work on because I know I’ll have to be mostly independent at some point.

If you could put your life into a category, where would it go? I feel like this would be easier to answer if you gave a list of categories. I don’t know what kind of insight you’re looking for.

How many animals do you have? I have two, but I call them pets.

Are you popular? Idk and I don’t care. All I know is I don’t actively seek to be so.

What time were you born? 9:11 in the evening.

Have you had any candy this week? Yeah, I had a gummy worm this morning. Mom bought a box of Halloween-themed sweets and there were cupcakes had gummy worms on them alongside marshmallows designed to look like a tombstone.

Are you more afraid of tornadoes or hurricanes? Hurricanes are terrifying, but I’m used to them. We don’t get tornadoes at all so I’ll not only be unprepared for those, but would definitely be more afraid of them too.

Do you like those nerd glasses? Sure, I still think they’re cute and look good on people but I never called them nerd glasses lol. Mine are kinda shaped like one.

Have you ever been in a fist fight? Nah, I’d be wiped out pretty fast.

What color is your house? A light shade of beige.

When was the last time you saw a rainbow? More than a year ago, I’m sure. It was during our ride back home from a journalism workshop, which if I remember correctly was all the way in Cavite. Goddamn we traveled a lot for those workshops.

Have you ever ate a crayon? I’ve never bitten off a piece but I’m not ruling out at least licking.

Ever rode in a helicopter? Nope. Would love to.

Do you like rabbits? Sure.

Do you like mushrooms? For the most part I don’t even think they taste like anything, so I never really had a problem with mushrooms.

“It’s like you step into the room and just press play”

What was the last movie you cried at? That Thing Called Tadhana. I had watched it five years ago after my first breakup; I got to go to Sagada shortly after that breakup, so that movie was actually very therapeutic for me at the time because it allowed me to release my feelings the way Mace did, also in Sagada. Now I’m stuck at home and can’t travel and that movie just hurt too much to finish.

What ice cream flavor best describes your personality? I don’t really...pair ice cream flavors with types of personalities.

Would you rather work for a small or large company? Large, because I feel like I’d be challenged more in those and thus learn more. Also it just looks nicer on resumés, if I’m being honest. Smaller companies are ok too but I prefer those that already have a rep for churning excellent results and having a good track record for workplace culture, like the company I’m currently working with.

Where's your favorite place to buy clothes? Ukays. I used to not like them, but my mom and sister did a great job reeling me in and making me see the appeal.

How many languages do you speak? Two.

What was the worst movie you've ever seen? Me Before You was such a waste of my time. Predictable, cheesy, and typical asshole-guy-softens-up-over-time-oh-and-just-as-you-start-to-root-for-him-we’re-gonna-kill-him-off. But idk, I was with friends who were into movies like those and I wanted to support them, so I went along to watch.

What video game have you played the most? Cumulatively, pretty sure it’s Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.

What was your favorite TV show as a child? I was a Nickelodeon girl and Spongebob, Fairly OddParents, and My Life as a Teenage Robot were my top 3, with Jimmy Neutron closely trailing at #4. I loved Disney shows too but wasn’t really able to appreciate them as much until I got a little older and could understand their humor better.

What's your favorite sport? My answer won’t change - if it counts, pro wrestling. If it doesn’t, my next favorite is table tennis.

If you were given a brand new yacht, what would you name it? Nothing creative is coming to me at the moment.

Do you believe there’s life on other planets? Yes. Maybe not the ones in our solar system, but those out in the distant universe for sure.

What was the worst place you ever traveled to? Can’t say I’ve truly disliked a particular place we’ve been to. I will say that Chinese people have a...culture that I’m not used to, and I did not enjoy touring with a bunch of them during my cruise. They had buffet habits that I would consider unhygienic, they would sit at the same table my mom and I were eating at if there were available seats(??????? imagine if I just sat beside you at a diner while you’re having lunch?), and apparently it’s acceptable for them to actually look you in the eyes and point directly at you if they’re talking about you with other people. It was honestly a lot to put up with for six days, and the only reason I didn’t lose my temper was because my dad works in the ship and I didn’t want to cause him any trouble.

What is one thing you’re really bad at? Making art.

Do you believe in angels? No. I like referring to my grandpa as my guardian angel, but I don’t actually believe in angels.

Would you rather be a famous actor or musician? I know I’m awful at either, but I’d much rather act.

“where have you been all my life?”

If you could have invented one thing, what would it have been? It’d be cool to come up with something that ends up being widely popular and/or beneficial to society, but do it accidentally; like how popsicles came to be. Imagine building a legacy from your own oopsie lmao sounds like a pretty good deal to me.

What's your favorite exercise workout? I don’t do workouts.

What's your favorite thing to do? Wow, very straightforward. Hmm these days I’m slowly inching back to wrestling, so I’ve been watching compilations and documentaries and doing some catching-up here and there. Lately I’d say that’s my favorite thing to do, but that can always change.

What did you do for your 17th birthday? Gab and I went to Pinto and she brought me to Filio after. Then I got back home to see what Athenna had done to my room while I was out, which was to cover the floor with balloons and the walls with printed photos of Zayn Malik.

Does your local Wal Mart have benches in them to rest? First, we’ll need to have local Wal-Mart stores here.

Was your favorite stuffed animal really a teddy bear growing up? I never liked stuffed animals, so I didn’t even have a teddy bear.

If your house was haunted, what would you do? Not fuck with the ghosts/spirits.

Are you crazy in love currently? Not crazily, but in love.

Are you good at swimming? I can tread and do several strokes, but I also tend to panic so I think that eliminates the concept of me being a good swimmer.

What's worse: Slow internet or slow walkers? Slow internet. I can get around slow walkers; but unless I have mobile data, slow internet is out of my control for the most part.

What is the rudest thing a guy has ever done to you? I can’t pick between whistling at me, catcalling me, lunging at me, or flirtatiously harass me in front of his friends while I was minding my goddamn business carrying a goddamn box of cake at the mall. Yeah, not a very big fan of men.

Do you sleep with the sheets tucked in or out? Out.

What do you do to fall asleep faster? Put on a YouTube video and let autoplay take over.

Do you carry a bottle of water wherever you go? Yeah I used to, until I lost it.

Ae you afraid that one day you might get cancer? The fear of the possibility is there, but it’s not predominantly in our family history and so I’m more afraid of other issues I have a higher chance of getting, like high blood pressure.

“Letters to Juliet”

Are you a fast or slow walker? Fast if I’m running errands, slow-ish if I’m out for leisure.

Do you usually have to wear a belt with your pants? No.

Does it bother you when people's underwear hangs out? Kinda. Even more when their crack decides to show up too.

Are you usually the person to try new things with your hair? No, I am one of the last people in line when it comes to that.

When's your birthday? April 21st.

Do you own a bobble-head toy? Nopes.

What color was the towel you used to dry off with today after a shower? Turquoise.

Has anyone ever walked you home? I’ve had someone drive me home. Walking isn’t really applicable here.

Have you ever liked someone and they were taken? That’s never happened to me.

When was the last time you went fishing? In my past life, maybe.

True or false: You've read the book Lord of the Flies? False.

Have you heard of the band Yellowcard? Yes.

Have you ever seen the show Teen Wolf? I’ve seen an episode and oh my god it was so boring.

Do you have any quotes, lyrics etc on your walls? I used to until my mom took it down while I was in school. I made it myself, so it stung.

Are you a fan of Star Wars? No.

“Our parents never let us cross the street, but we did it anyway”

Has anyone ever told you that you have nice hair? Whenever it was actually nice, yeah. It was never my best feature though.

What brand of camera do you own? I have...an iPhone, if it counts, ha. My old DSLR was a Nikon.

Is there something you're not looking forward to? The next day. Having to go through rounds of anxiety is not enjoyable.

Have you ever read the book Thirteen Reasons Why? Have not read the book nor seen the show, but have read enough of the premise to know I am not a fan.

Do you wear white pants? Sure, I have a pair of white jeans that I absolutely love.

When was the last time you were really angry? Yesterday. My sister and I were ordering KFC from a food delivery app and no driver was taking it because drivers in that company are notoriously picky bitches about their destinations. They kept canceling our orders and at some point I had enough and proposed that we just get Pizza Hut, this time straight from the Pizza Hut website, which has always worked out for us before. So Pizza Hut confirms the order, calls me up and says the ETA, so far so good. Around 15 minutes later the doorbell rings and it’s...KFC? With our original orders? Apparently that stupid ass app took our order anyway after repeatedly canceling it, and I never got one fucking notification that our order was received. Tried to cancel Pizza Hut but they said they had already started making the pizzas, so in the end we had to pay for both meals. I had never been so angry.

Have you ever made a 3 pointer in a basketball game? Hah, of course not. I’ve barely made one of those free throws that are worth one point.

Do you think you look better with your hair up or down? I’ve gotten more compliments whenever it’s up, so that must look better on me even if I personally don’t necessarily agree.

Do you warm up before you hardcore exercise? I don’t exercise, but isn’t warming up recommended anyway?

Do you want a pair of Converse shoes? Not really; I suppose they’re alright. It’s not my favorite brand in the world, but I wouldn’t turn down a free pair either.

Are you more of a studs or hoops type of person when it comes to earrings? Hoooooooooops for days.

How many shirts do you have of your favorite band? Just one. I’m not a band shirt person.

Turn on the TV. What channel are you on? There’s no TV in this room.

Have you ever wore a tie before? Yeah, as a kid my mom sometimes made me wear neckties. They made me SO uncomfortable I was having internal breakdowns about being seen in public. I was 7 years old. Neckties to me were a boy thing and I felt 0% boy; and so it gave me such serious dysphoria. It’s like making a boy wear a pink tutu even if he’s already visibly distressed. Whenever I told my mom I felt uncomfortable, she would just tell me it “looks good.” Jesus Christ. Why did no one ever drag my mom to a parenting seminar? Did no one seriously see the signs???

What did you have for breakfast this morning? Garlic rice, bacon strips, and glazed ham.

“For the Krusty Krab”

Are you good at art? Of course not.

How many times have you read your favorite book? I don’t have one.

Name one thing that you really hate. Raisins, on their own and incorporated in a dish.

Have you ever tried walking on stilts? I haven’t.

Is there a war that you find interesting? Eh, not really. So many of historical accounts are bombarded with war narratives as it is, and I’ve just never really found disputes or tensions among countries to be the most interesting part about history. Plus women were mostly absent, and that makes it even more boring.

Would you rather live in the city or country? City.

Do you think $7 is too much for a movie ticket? Not always. $7 or ₱350 is actually pretty reasonable if you wanna see a movie at an upscale mall; people who watch movies in places like that shouldn’t be complaining about movie tickets that cost that much. But all movie theaters are the same anyway - pitch black, freezing, comfy chairs - so I just go to midscale malls where tickets would be like a hundred bucks cheaper since it’s gonna give me the same experience anyway.

Would you like to be a newscast person? For a long time I thought I wanted to be one because that’s what my entire family was rooting me to become. Eventually I realized reading from a teleprompter, interviewing guests, and asking questions to reporters is not a career I want.

Do you like word searches, coloring or crosswords better? Word searches, then coloring, then crosswords.

Close your eyes and press a random key on the keyboard. U.

How many William’s do you know? I don’t think I know anyone. It’s too foreign-sounding a name.

What time did you wake up this morning? I woke up at around 6 AM, but I fell back asleep immediately and woke up again around 30 minutes later.

Do you enjoy crutches? ...No? That seems a little insensitive for people who actually need them.

What's better: Snapple or Arizona tea? Arizona. It’s because I’ve never had the Snapple one, but tbh Arizona is already pretty delicious anyway.

Make a word out of the word: Dinosaur. Round.

“she said I love this song, I’ve heard it before”

When you were younger, did you play with legos? Yes. I was never a creative kid, but I liked playing with them anyway.

Do you like Trix cereal? It was only my absolute favorite cereal as a kid, no biggie.

Do you get nervous easily? Ugh, yes. My parents asked me to get water containers from our local water station last Saturday and I literally had to allot like two hours to brace myself and make a script in my head. I constantly rehearse shit nearly every time I have to go out of the house.

How long is your Facebook password? I’m not sharing that.

Do you like the movie Mean Girls? No, I didn’t find it funny the first time and that made me uninterested in giving it a second chance.

How do you want your wedding to be? Big, grand. Lots of friends, lots of food. Not Catholic/Christian.

Have you seen the movie or show Catfish? Nope.

Do you hate it when you arrive to something early? Not usually. Being early is my goal in most situations, unless I’m headed to like a party.

Have you ever been on Omegle? A few times as a teenager.

Are you still in love with one of your exes? Yes. It’s not going away for a while.

Do you think it's attractive when guys wear beanies? I don’t necessarily seek out men with beanies lol but I don’t think it looks bad on them either.

What's something that makes you feel shy in public? Unfamiliar situations.

Do you like the shows on MTV? No.

If you could go back and relive one day, what day? That last Friday I was in school before the lockdown happened. If I knew what the next eight months were going to look like, I would’ve stayed much longer in school, dragged my friends out to drink, blew my money on food, had more fun basically.

What's one word you hate to be called? Exhausting. Like being told I’m exhausting to be with. How does that not hurt?

[miraclejune]

HERO’S SOUP: Chapter 11

11 Families

It’s been two months since Seungmin moved into the mansion with the rest of the pack. It definitely took a lot of persuading to get him to agree with the boys. Woojin on the other hand, wasn’t saying anything at all, the only time he urged Seungmin to move in with them is when they sat together for dinner. 

The look on the wolves faces was priceless once Seungmin declared he was gonna move in with them. They bribed everything they had just to get the witch to live with them, but no matter how many times they present Felix and Hyunjin as an offering, Seungmin refuses, although he really thought it was a good deal.

“So what did Woojin offer to you?”

“For the last fucking time, Felix, he offered nothing! I came here on my own accord, so stop pestering me.” With one last nasty glance, Seungmin went back to typing on his laptop. Felix pouted, but he didn’t want to concede defeat just yet. “The others even betrayed me and Hyunjin just to get you to live here and you refused. But with only a word from Woojin, you come running here with your weird ass briefcase that almost ate Hyunjin." after his pity talk, Felix rose up from his seat stomping away towards the kitchen with his arms crossed. Felix was always the sulky type of person. Chan eyes Seungmin who was grinning ever so smugly. 

"You're not a witch. You're a devil." Hyunjin clicked his tongue in disbelief.

"You're not a wolf. You're an idiot." Jisung and Changbin cackled. "Daaaamn. Apply cold water on that burn bro!" Changbin blurted, holding his stomach as both him and Jisung fell on the carpeted floor. "Why are you so good at comebacks…" Seungmin shrugged. He looked back at all the times where he got dissed by Chan with just a few words. 

Seungmin is an asshole. But Chan is the ultimate asshole.

"Anyway, none of you can still convince Jeongin to move in?" Minho asks, leaning on Jisung's shoulder. The rest of them looked at each other with curious eyes. But with a few turns of their heads, they came to the conclusion that no one succeeded. Felix walks back in the kitchen, his resentment towards the witch long forgotten as he sat in between Seungmin’s legs. "What you guys talkin' bout?" 

"How none of us won over Jeongin to move in." Felix's mouth formed into a small 'oh', he nods his head and frowns after realizing he too hasn’t won over the boy. “I did try to bribe him with snacks.” Felix murmurs, munching on a sandwich he made.

In one blink of an eye, Jisung was kneeling in front of him, mouth wide open. Felix offers him the sandwich and Jisung happily takes a bite. "Ew, what the hell is this?" the wolf’s face contorted in disgust.

"Vegemite." Jisung forced himself not to choke as he swallowed. "This is gonna come right back up." he already felt his stomach gurgling. Thankfully it stayed there.

"How can you eat that?"

Felix gasped as if his whole nativity was insulted. "It's called 'refined taste'. You wouldn't understand either way."

Jisung glared at him before returning beside Minho.

They continued their conversation.

“His mom wants Jeongin to live with us, right, Chan?” Woojin puts a hand on Chan's thigh making the guy smile meekly, “Yeah.” 

“Really? When did she say it?” Seungmin straightens up from his seat, placing his hands on Felix's shoulders, tapping them rhythmically.

Thinning his lips, Chan huffs out air from his nose. “When I visited his place.” he purposely emphasized the word ‘I’. As a response, he got big grins and cute faces from everyone. Including Woojin. His stern look was overpowered by his fondness. He shakes his head and looks down briefly before breaking into a fit of chuckles. “Alright alright. I’m sorry I didn’t let you guys come with me.” 

They all laugh. “Wait, how did she say it to you? While we’re leaving the house? When did she say it?” 

Chan chuckles awkwardly, scratching his nape as he avoids everyone's gaze. “Well, she didn’t actually say it.” 

“What do you mean?” Chan sighs quietly. “I kinda read her mind.” 

“You what?” 

Woojin smiles. He knows about it. Chan tells him everything. He trusts the vampire as much as the vampire trusts him.

Apparently, after gate crashing, Jeongin and Chan's supposed “home visit”, while they were heading out one by one outside, Chan made eye contact with Jeongin’s mom. And it’s as if all her thoughts flow simultaneously in his head.

The sole thought that actually caught his attention was ‘I really wish Jeongin would spend more time with you guys. I don’t even mind if you all move in together. I’d be glad.’

“So you just read her mind? Dude! That’s Jeongin’s mom!”

Chan raises his hands, stopping Changbin’s assumptions midway. “Hang on. I didn’t purposely read her mind. I told you a couple of times before, that’s not possible for even the strongest vampires.” Hyunjin shifts from his seat, attaching himself more to Woojin. His eyes finding Chan's, opening his mouth to ask the question: “Then how?”

“You guys know I can only read minds when that certain person gives me access to their memories and thoughts. However, that doesn’t mean I can read everything. I can only hear some random thoughts and those thoughts that are just on the surface of their brains.” Taking a deep breath, Chan stood up, fetching his phone near the TV before plopping back down on his seat.

“It’s like she purposely allowed you to hear her thoughts? Or she just unconsciously let you hear them.” Woojin eyes Chan curiously. The vampire said the same thing. Although, he wasn’t quite sure himself if that was the case. “No one would know. Only Auntie can answer that question.” the room went still and silent.

Breaking the silence, Minho spoke up. “We can rule out the assumption that his parents did not give him the permission to live with us.” Chan nodded. Crossing his arms, Woojin slumped on his seat. “That’s actually the only one to cross out. We have no idea why he doesn’t want to live here.” Everyone else agreed with the alpha. Jeongin never told them the reason why. He would always avoid answering the follow up question ‘why?’

“Not even you, Woojin?” Hyunjin assumed that the sole person who could convince Jeongin was Woojin. He’s the alpha and almost like the oldest member of the family. 6 pairs of eyes, excluding Woojin, stared at Seungmin. The witch gave each of them a dirty look. “Get your stinking eyes off of me or else… The suitcase?” shivering across the room was Hyunjin, his face was pale and he was shaking against Woojin’s chest. Seungmin held his chin high, feeling like he won the world cup.

Going back to the topic. Woojin had no chance either. Unlike the other boys, he did not bribe nor push the boy to move in. He sometimes, almost casually just brings it up and when he feels like the Jeongin was getting uncomfortable with the topic, he would brush it off and move on.

He didn’t want the boy to feel obliged to move in with them just because Seungmin was there. 

"I know."

"Thank god you finally said it." Woojin eyed Chan. The vampire looked around the room. "What? I thought you guys didn't know?"

He saw Hyunjin rolling his eyes. "Duh? We know that you know."

"So spill." In unison, they crossed their arms and faced Chan.

"Ok! Geez." He touched his nape uncomfortably. All this attention is unnerving. "He said he's okay with our current status. Visiting us often here, we hang out outside. He said that moving in here was a big decision to make and that he's not ready to take it." They saw how the vampire's sullen eyes grew sadder. "We can't blame him. Humans hate change. They need ample time to adapt and Jeongin's still quite young and vulnerable."

They felt bad for making Chan feel bad.

Minho stood up, he walked to Chan's side and put a hand over his shoulder. "It's fine. At least we get to hang out with him in general. That's better than nothing, right guys?" the rest agreed. They reassured Chan that none of it was his fault.

Woojin offered to order some pizza and chicken. Food always kept them away from such heavy topics.

“But hey guys. Did you hear what Chan said earlier?” Jisung managed to utter the question before taking another big bite from his pizza, his cheeks bulging with food. He almost resembled a squirrel. “Don’t talk with your mouth full.” Seungmin looked at the wolf in disgust, rolling his eyes when Jisung flipped him off.

“What was it?” Chan tilted his head curiously, he waited for Jisung to answer Felix’s question. Their eyes shifted from Jisung to Minho who instead answered the question. 

“He called Jeongin’s mom ‘Auntie’.” 

If it was possible for a vampire to blush, Chan would be red as the blood he was drinking.

Oh god was he so embarrassed. He hadn’t realized that word slipped out from his mouth, and how the hell did they even manage to catch that with such a heavy subject matter? And alas, the teasing began. It was unbelievable that a vampire like him would never be taken seriously in that mansion.

“You guys are utter dick-nuggets. I’m gonna murder you all with a trowel.”

-

The cold winter breeze hummed outside the shop. With his head hung long, Chan sat behind the counter, a half-empty flask of blood on his hand. As the door swung open, a familiar waft of human blood came in contact with his nose, not just any human. Chan's calm face turned firm as he heard a voice that annoyed him to bits decades ago. “Hey, Chan!” his eyebrows twitched in annoyance. He stood up, coming into view of 3 people. Two of which he was unfamiliar with. 

With a bat of his eyes the door instantly locked with a subtle ‘click’ making the 2 new faces look back. “Kazuo.” The man laughed, he was used to Chan's attitude towards him, but he could at least hide his utter disgust towards him. 

Ignoring the vampire, Kazuo went around the counter, sitting down like a boss. When he was about to put up his foot on the table, he received a very terrifying gaze from the vampire. “Woah woah. Alright, geez.” he threw his hands up in defeat, signalling the two boys to come sit down with him. Chan eyed the two identical faces as they walked past him sitting down beside Kazuo, both of them staring at him like he was an antique piece too, well technically he is. 

With a heavy sigh, Chan proceeded to the fridge, shoving his flask inside. “Any drinks?” His voice had the most unpleasant and unwelcoming tone ever. The guests couldn’t feel at least an ounce of hospitality from his actions. They were unwanted and Chan was shoving it in their faces.

“Nah. Don’t want to piss you off some more.” thinning his lips Chan sighed, now trying his best to glance at the ‘guests’. “I insist.” Kazuo chuckles, irking Chan’s nerves even more. “We’ll have some tea, right boys?” the two boys nodded in unison before turning their heads back to Chan, almost melting him with their curious stares.

“Ah, yes boys. Stare all you can. That’s a very ancient and powerful vampire right there. You don’t often see that in this light and day.” If he had Seungmin’s hexing powers, Chan would’ve had the 3 ‘guests’ throw up cockroaches the moment they stepped in the shop. After tea was served, he sat on the opposite side of the table facing them. He rested his elbows on the table, staring directly into Kazuo’s eyes. Kazuo shivered discreetly, he didn’t want to show the twins nor Chan that he was afraid of the latter.

“What do you want?”

He smirked, taking a sip of the tea before placing it back down on the table. Kazuo glanced at the twins beside him. “That’s really how you talk to an old pal?” Chan furrowed his eyebrows. “As far as I can remember, we were never pals, Kazuo. I stayed at your grandfather's dojo for a few decades and that was it. We were never friends, nor acquaintances.” Kazuo did an action where he pretended to be shot in the heart, he pouted still gripping his chest.

“Man, sugarcoat your words just a little bit, okay? You’re too harsh.” Chan shrugged, he stood up and turned his back to get a fresh new flask in the fridge. 3 pairs of eyes bore on his back, taking his time leisurely opening the cap and swigging down one mouthful of blood. He turned to his heel and saw the amazed faces from the boys.

“That’s really scary.” one of the twins who has a significantly higher voice than the other stared at his mouth in surprise. Chan brought his hand up to his mouth and wiped the blood that obviously ran down his chin.

“Is that really blood? Do you harvest it from people you attack? Where do you hide the bodies? I want to see it.” the same twin who spoke earlier wiggled excitedly in his seat, his eyes sparked with excitement. Chan slumped in his chair, he placed the flask on the table and played with the lid with his right hand. He stared deeply at the boy.

“First of all, those are corpses. Not some kind of animal at a zoo. Second, I don’t attack people, that’s against the law-” lifting up a finger he halted the boy in his words. “The human law and the supernatural beings law. And lastly, please don’t say the word ‘harvest’. You make it sound like I own a farm made of human corpses.” 

The irksome twin finally shuts up, but when Chan is lulled into a false sense of security, the other one speaks up. His voice and attitude are far more different than the others. “So are you born a bloodhound?” the color on Kazuo’s face vanished, he straightened up from his seat and smacked the twin hard on the back of his head. “Ow! What the hell!” he scowled at Kazuo but his expression grew curious as he saw the horrified look on the latter’s face. 

Lights flickered inside the shop and soon enough they were engulfed in darkness. The cold winter breeze roared outside the shop. The temperature grew more suffocating and colder. “Do you ever shut up, Vaughn?” He cautiously turns to the vampire. Piercing red blood eyes bore on his face, his eyes faltering down Chan's canine teeth. Kazuo swallows the lump on his throat. He was too reckless. He should’ve given more warnings to the twins before visiting.

Even though Chan acts indifferent towards him, the vampire respects his family, especially his grandfather. However, Chan could turn his back against them and kill each and every member of their family with just his deadly stare. Kazuo stands up and bows, pushing the heads of the twins along with him as he manages to shout an apology. He turns to his heel, dragging the twins to the door. 

SLAM! The door shuts right before he could reach out for the doorknob. He lets go of the twins, clasping the knob on both his hands. He twists and turns, he nudges the door with his shoulder but it’s sealed shut.  Ah, that’s when he knew he was screwed. Encountering Chan in an open area with a lot of people walking around is dangerous. But being locked inside a room with the ranging vampire? Suicide is the only escape. 

Kazuo musters up his courage. “Chan, I apologize on behalf of the twins. Please open the door.” As he turns around, the twins hurriedly hide behind him. Just like he predicted, Chan was already in front of him. His expression was cold and bland, but the searing color of his eyes were enough to say he was infuriated. “I’ll open it once those brats apologize.” the three of them flinched in fright as Chan emphasized the word ‘brats’.

The twins shiver in fear as they take a step forward, bowing their heads. “We’re sorry!” they didn’t waste a second when the door shot open, the twins stumbled to freedom. Kazuo wanted to turn to his heel and sprint out of the shop, but his head was telling him otherwise. It wasn’t the best option.

“I’m really sorry about those two. Let’s talk tomorrow.” Chan, who was still in angry vampire mode, snickered. “Just you.” 

Kazuo nodded. “Yeah. Okay. Just me, tomorrow.” he turned to his heel, he knew he was not coming back for weeks just to ease his PTSD after this. Sighing in relief as soon as he stepped outside the shop. That scared the living shit out of him. He remembered the times he used to tease Chan and get traumatized afterwards. Really, that man is blood-curdling.

As he stood there to calm down his racing heart, there he saw Seungmin crossing the road towards his direction. He must be visiting Chan. 

Seungmin looked both ways before jogging to the other side. His eyes land on Kazuo for a second before travelling to two identical figures near a black sedan. They were both shaking in fear and were pale as a sheet. They looked like they just saw a ghost. “Not a ghost, I believe.” sighing, he shakes his head and walks towards the door.

He abruptly stopped feeling a hand on his arm. “Woah there. I won’t go in there if I were you. Chan is on his kill-mode.” Kazuo tried to hide his fear behind a laugh but failed miserably as the witch stared at him blankly before brushing off his grip. He cleared his throat.

“What did you do?”

Kazuo's eyes widened. “I didn’t do anything! I swear!” Seungmin faced him. “Really? Then why do they look like that?” he points at the twins, now sitting on the pavement. “It was an accident.” 

Seungmin sighs one last time, he turns to his back and mutters “It better be.”

The door slammed shut. The three of them heard muffled shouting inside the shop. Kazuo prayed to all the gods for Seungmin’s safety, as much as he hated his attitude, Seungmin was a good friend. 

And he didn’t want him to die just there. Oh god, it was like he went inside a cage with a hungry and pissed off lion. 

“What the hell did you do?” As soon as the door closed, he flung a thick spell book at Chan, hitting him dead on the head. The eerie feeling sent shivers down his spine all the way to the soles of his feet. 

“I didn’t do anything! That fucking brat called me a bloodhound.” Seungmin simmered down a bit. Oh no, that’s a very taboo word for Chan. It was the worst name you could ever call a vampire. Derogatory.

Chan was hurt, he usually doesn’t mind it but being called like that made him feel like he was an animal, like he was the lowest.

With a deep sigh, Seungmin drops the books he was about to fling to Chan (for the second and third time) neatly on a table. “Alright, they were wrong. But you shouldn’t have scared them like that.” Chan furrows his eyebrows. His fangs slowly disappear and his eyes turn back to their usual color. “I don’t care.” but he did, deep down he cared more than anyone else.

Seungmin smiles. Chan was always portrayed as that cold hearted person he never was. He was gentle, caring and supporting. He just comes out aloof because he doesn’t want any attention from him. He just wanted to show he cared, and doesn’t want anything back.

“Okay, I’ll go get Kazuo. Maybe ask him to send the twins home for now. I’m guessing he wanted to talk to you?” Chan nods. Seungmin gives him a pat on his shoulder before going out of the shop. 

“You okay?” 

“I’m fine, Kazuo. He wants you to come in.” he looks behind Kazuo, eyeing the twins.

“And I think it’s best for you two to leave out of this.” The twins couldn’t agree more. They gave him a nod and hurriedly went in the car. Seungmin smiles at the familiar driver.

"Are you sure he’s safe now?” 

“Chan is always safe.”

“You’re kidding, right?” Seungmin gave him a shrug. He walks back in the shop, calling out to Kazuo. “Ah, shit.” he clearly had no choice but to follow Seungmin.

“Stay here.” He ordered the twins sitting on the back seat. He asked the driver to look after them before going back to the shop. The lights were back to normal and the heavy atmosphere dispersed quite a while now. He pokes his head on one of the shelves and sees Chan's back behind the counter.

“Kazuo, come here.” Seungmin calls him. He slowly makes his way to their location. As he cautiously circles the counter, he sees Seungmin was sitting down. That’s why Chan's back was turned against him.

He quietly sits down beside Seungmin, keeping a good distance from Chan. “Great! You traumatized him.” Seungmin threw his hands in the air and gave Chan a judging glare.  “He was always terrified of me back in the days. He’ll be fine.” Kazuo glares at Chan too. The vampire really gave him multiple frights back then. Chuckling, Seungmin stops both of them. “Alright, kids. No more fighting. Kazuo, why don’t you tell us why you are here?”

Kazuo fixes up his hoodie and slumps onto the chair. “The twins are my half-brothers. Vaughn is the noisy one and Vincent is the calm one. They’re identical.” Seungmin snaps his fingers. The broken cups and, now cold, teapot disappeared. With a second snap, a fresh hot pot of tea and 2 cups appear on the table. Kazuo holds up his cup, the teapot floats in the air and fills up his cup. He looks at Chan. “The old man wants you to train them.” Chan snickers in disbelief. He pulls himself up the counter and crosses his arms. “The answer is no.” 

“I knew that. But he forced me and the twins to go here. He insisted.” Seungmin’s head snaps.  “You mean, your grandfather is here?” Kazuo nods.

“And so he returns.” Chan murmurs, his eyes lost in the cluster of books on the floor. Kazuo glances at them both, clearing his throat, he leans on the table.

"I won't do it."

Kazuo smiles meekly, "I know you won't." Chan raised an eyebrow at him.

"Then why did you still come here?"

The red head's thumb fidgeted on the tea cup. He tried to form the correct words in his head to avoid being strangled to death. "Grandpa never insisted before. I wondered why he wanted you to take command of the twins so much."

"He must have a purpose for them." Chan replied. The topic irked his interest.

"Everyone in the clan has a purpose. So why didn't he let them train there just like everybody else? Why did he have to come back to Korea just for them?"

Chan thinned his lips. The issue grew larger. He thought that after he refused, profusely, the Sofia's would go on their merry way. This isn't the first time he was asked to train someone in the Sofia clan. What's first for him was that it was a direct order from the leader.

"It's still a no." he decided to just refuse him. To end the conversation at that. Kazuo smiled, Seungmin somehow thought he smiled in relief. Relieved that Chan said no. "I'll tell him. You have to be careful."

Now what did that mean?

“So, what’s your connection with Jeongin?” he saw how Chan's jaw clenched, having Seungmin around gave him a new source of courage. And talking for a while with the vampire kinda calmed him down.

“Saw him hang out here and at your mansion all the time.” He turns to Seungmin, exaggerating his actions with his hands. Oh how that irked Chan.

“Seungmin, you moved in with the wolves? That’s great. My old man wondered where the mischievous bakeneko and freckled fox went. Turns out you also welcomed him into your ‘family’.” 

The topic went from fun to heavy in just a second. Forget the tiny sense of friendliness from the redhead.

“Can I get a piece of that family love too? I’m also a supernatural being. You won’t grow cold with me in the house. I swear I’ll behave.” Seungmin was sure Kazuo did not have a clue about the wolves nor Felix and Minho. Plus, he never recalled telling him about moving in with Chan.

“Your connections are fucking insane.” Seungmin brushed it off as a joke, but he knew Kazuo really had them investigated. And Chan sensed it a while back. “Yeah, I have my ways.” Kazuo smugly exclaimed. 

“So, who is he?” he smirks at Chan, irking a few nerves. “He’s a good friend.” Chan answers discreetly. Kazuo makes an impressive expression, mocking the vampire.

“Okay. When did you meet him?” 

“That’s none of your business.” 

“I guess so.” Kazuo nods his head multiple times as the room stays silent. “Is he moving in with you guys too, or?” This time, Chan was pissed. His eyes flashed red for a few seconds. “Drop it, Sofia.” It was a warning. And Kazuo got the message clear and precise. 

The witch was impressed. He never thought Kazuo feared anyone else but his grandfather. And there he was, witnessing a trembling Sofia in front of Chan. That vampire is really something else.

“Kazuo,” 

“Hm?” Seungmin almost breaks into a grin. The look on the man’s face was so desperate. Like he wanted to escape his current situation ASAP. “Do you know Ms. Yoo from the Music Department?” Kazuo looks at him weirdly but answers his question nonetheless.

“Yeah. I’m surprised you didn’t know about her.”

Seungmin tilts his head. Know her? He does know her, she’s a professor at his university. He sees her on campus. Kazuo opens his mouth in disbelief, he was shocked about Seungmin not knowing Ms. Yoo.

“Seriously? You don’t know her?” 

“Well I do, I see her in school.” the witch retaliates. By now, Kazuo was scoffing.

"She was also Merlin’s Descendant.”

-

Seungmin sees Kazuo off. His words are still lingering in his head. Ms. Yoo was also Merlin’s attendant?  How is that even possible? He can spot a fellow descendant just by their stature. But Ms. Yoo? He didn’t even think she was related to supernatural beings. “Hey, Kazuo. Why did you ask about Jeongin? Were you just teasing Chan?” he answered with a shrug. Seungmin watched as the car disappeared around the corner. He stood there with his mushy thoughts.

As the winter breeze swept away the leaves on the pavement. Seungmin decided to go back to the shop. He searched for Chan, poking his head around the counter and walking around the shelves and items. “Must be upstairs.”

Flipping the open sign to closed, Seungmin pulled down the blinds on the windows before ascending to Chan's room upstairs. 

Chan mutters a low ‘come in’ as he hears a soft knock on his door. “Hey.” Seungmin sits on the worn down sofa in Chan's room. It was the only set of furniture in there besides the bed and a small wardrobe. “You okay?” the bed squeaks as Chan plops down on it. He leans forward and gathers both his hands.

“I need to investigate too.” 

“Chan, you know you can’t.” Seungmin warns him.

“Kazuo is a Sofia. And you know those lots aren’t to be messed with. He was warning us about something. Let's heed that warning and just let them be.” of course he knew that. He lived with that family for decades. He knew how powerful they were. Out of frustration, Chan runs a hand through his hair, tugging on his curly locks.

“I know that. But, Seungmin,” he stands up and sits down beside the witch. “They know about Jeongin. They know he's my bondmate. They want him so they could take a hold of me.” Seungmin feared that too. As soon as the boy’s name rolled off Kazuo’s tongue, he knew something was up. They just don’t know Jeongin as a random university student who likes to hang out with them. They know more than that. Maybe even more than them. 

Seungmin puts a hand on Chan’s lap, he squeezes, reassuring him that it will be okay. “I know. This is bad. But, Chan..” they lock eyes.

“Once you mess with them. You mess with all of them.” the vampire bites his lower lip.

“You alone can’t handle the 11 families.” 

The strength that gave him the courage to confront the Sofia's, vanished into thin air. The 11 families. Those people are horrible, selfish and hungry for power. He hated them. He lived long enough to see how those people reigned over others. How they killed into superiority. “Look. I know you’re strong. We all know that. But the 11 families outnumber you. A million to one. Don’t make haste decisions.” 

Chan stands up and gets ready to leave. He slips on his leather jacket and picks up the helmet on his bed. But before he could close the door behind him, he stopped and listened to what Seungmin had to say. 

“Don’t pick a fight with the Sofia’s. Or else this country will burn into cinders.”

[anastasiaskarsgard]

Link to my masterlist for earlier chapters or other stuff I've written

His Queen

Part 3

Bri ripped open the letter, amazed it was handwritten and in cursive! Knowing Roman, he had an assistant write it, but she felt a warmth in her chest knowing he’d truly loved her all along.

To My Queen, Briana Godfrey,

(Admit it! That sounds way better than Tucker, have the lawyers change it.)

Oh, and before I get into it, I wrote this myself. No assistants, so fuck you for thinking it.

Bri smiled a sad smile at how they still knew how the other thought.

I have to start off by saying thank you for reading this letter. That means you're at the white tower. I don't deserve you. I've turned into everything I never wanted to become. Everything you made me believe I could escape. You are the light to my darkness and I'm so sorry I disappointed you. I don’t have a lot of time, but I needed a plan in case I fail. You’re the only person I trust with my company, my money, my daughter, my legacy, my heart, all of it. I am an absolute crack head level blood addict, and I couldn’t trust myself when we got overly emotional to keep my head. Because I love you so much, you can make me so upset, and That last fight we got into, I scared myself. I don’t blame you for slapping me, but to hold back from returning the blow, I literally broke my own hand... but this is not what this letter is about.

Peter and my sick half-sister Annie have stolen my daughter. Peter is hell-bent on destroying me because he killed Destiny's trash fiance, and lied about it, so she blamed me and attacked me and I hurt her bad enough to foresee issues with peter, so I broke her neck to avoid problems figuring it was showing her some mercy since she was heartbroken. Annie was there and when I refused to carry on an incestuous relationship with her, she turned on me and told Peter about Destiny. So he came after me and fucking shot me, we fought and I won, but didn't cut his head off so I knew he’d be fine. Well, he calls me and has my kid and won't turn her over, and says he's going to kill me so even though I doubt it, Nadia needs someone to raise her, and if I'm killed it's not my whore of a sister Annie. I need you to find Nadia and take her home and raise her as she deserves. She’s such a sweet baby and she adores you.

Find Shelley and she can help you maybe. She’s in love with this weird old poet and chooses to live at the old steel mill. Calls it Rooster Poop. Can’t make this shit up.

The entire security team is trying to find Nadia, so contact them and see where they’re at with it.

you are the love of my life and I refused to ever say so, even though we both knew it was true. I would bullshit and say it’s cuz I was saving you from myself, but I’m not that fucking noble. You scared me more than anything ever scared me in my life. God, it's great to admit I love you. Like I need to make up a new word for how I feel for you cuz love isn’t strong enough.

there’s a pretty poem I saw that reminded me of you;

I’d still choose you.

In a hundred lifetimes,

in a hundred worlds,

in any version of reality,

I’d find you and I’d choose you.

Even though I knew you were going to break my heart again and again.

I’d still choose you.

It’s crazy how happy I am writing you a letter, even with every aspect of my life in shambles, you’re my light.

You get everything. Fuck all of them. You were right about everything. If I survive this shit, I am winning you back if it takes 100 years and I have to spend every cent. This is literally a reset.

I tried to forget your baby girl but I never could. No amount of drugs, money, blood, or bullshit could ever distract me from the constant ache in my heart for only you. You’re the only pussy I ever wanna see again. I ran thru a fantastic amount of pussy after you left and none of them made me forget you for even a moment. I pictured you or I could not get off. It was pathetic. I hope I get to see you again and rip up this fucking letter.

I looked back over this and there’s a reason I have other people write shit up for me. A few requests to seriously consider:

-->Blitzky should take over for Pryce. Not only is he a genius, he's a good guy. He's a bit soft, so you may have to be the bad guy.

-->Get a new nanny. The current one looks good on paper but she's an idiot.

--> Live in the white tower. It's secure and safe and you can make as many floors as you like home.

--> if an animal killed me, it's Peter and he's still a wolf. He’ll be white. Kill him, cut off his head and burn him up in the incinerator.

--> if Annie comes around at all, kill her. She's very manupulative and acts religious and nice. She's crazy and not to be trusted.

-->try and convince Shelley to live in the mansion and have her little homeless community there. She doesn't care about money but she cares about people, so offer it as a safe haven. Make sure it stays stocked in necessities like toilet paper, soap, cleaning materials, etc and write it all off as a charity contribution. Make the whole endeavor a big tax write off, but don't tell Shelley that part. Just tell her it was my dying wish she had a home.

--> the loser she's with has legal problems. Have the legal department solve them so he's got no reason to desert her.

-->if Peters mom comes sniffing around, don't tell her a damn thing. I doubt she will tho, she's a wanted fugitive.

--> don't trust any gypsies.

--> Nadia is very intelligent. She can read minds, influence dreams, and kill anyone or anything just by looking at them. She's dangerous and shouldn't be allowed around animals or people until she can understand the concept of death and consequences. There's no way to control her, I have found.

--> I promised a homeless man I ate that id pay for his sons school. Anonymously pay for Mathew Shandwicks classes, books and dorm at Penn State for all 4 years. His father traded his life without a single complaint so it's imperative you keep my word.

-->make sure Nadia isn't a spoiled brat like me. Teach her about her mother and her father and all the good things about us. Leave out we were related if you can swing it. Just say we were young and loved each other very much. I enclosed a pack of photos of me and Letha for her.

I wonder what you’re wearing... That reminds me; if I’m really dead, you have to be in mourning at least two years. That means all black suits and dresses that cover you up, black nails, big black hats like you just left a Catalina Yacht Mixer or you’re going to a royal wedding. I even got you black lab coats just in case.Don’t half ass this. It’s important.

Also I want “Fuck you” by the Archives played at my funeral, if it comes to that.

Hopefully, you never see this letter because I got everything fixed here, and went and found you and you ran into my arms and we lived happily ever after, and I have a whole lifetime with you... But just in case...

All my love,

Roman Godfrey

P.s. - since you're a genius, hopefully you can fix me or bring me back. I hope you still love me even 10% as much as I love you, because then nothing can stop us.

Brianna stared at the page as her tears fell on it swirling the ink in designs and spirals. She knew he’d always loved her, but it was bittersweet seeing him finally admit it. She took the photos out of the envelope and looked through them.

Looking through the pictures was heart-wrenching. There had to be a way to fix all this! She tried to remember everything she’d learned about Upirs from that dreadful Russian women and Pryce. Luckily they’d been a bit of an obsession for her that she delved into when Roman pulled his shit. Being obsessed with Upirs had distracted her from obsessing over the real issue.

Just as she started to wonder when Mueller and Edwards would be back, as if by magic, the elevator doors opened. They had brought Dr. Blitzkey with them as well.

“Oh my gosh! You’re alive! I’m so happy to see you’re ok and still here!” Bri said as she ran up and embraced Blitzky. “Where is Roman? I need to see him.”

Blitzky looked at the ground nervously before meeting your eyes. “It’s not fixable.”

“No matter. I just NEED to see him. Please?” She begged.

“Okay. He has several severe traumatic injuries so please prepare yourself for that.”

“What happened to him?”

“Some Type of animal attacked him in the old mansion and pushed him out the upper story window, fracturing his spine and neck which most likely left him paralyzed and vulnerable. His throat and heart were then ripped out.”

“Peter.” Bri said darkly. He was going to pay for his betrayal. She would make sure of that.

“I mean that’s the most logical conclusion but after all Roman did for that little degenerate, ” Blitzky muttered.

Bri nodded solemnly.

“Hate to interrupt your happy little party but we have several forms that need immediate attention, to get this shit show back on the road,” Edwards interjected.

“They’ll have to wait till after I see Roman. You lead the way Blitzkey, you two stay here.” She said firmly stepping into the elevator with the doctor. Both lawyers looked furious but did as they were told since they were honestly intimidated by this young woman that had all this piled on her, and seemed unfazed.

As soon as the doors closed she sank to her knees and screamed. The tears came flooding out of her eyes as her body was wracked by sobs. It’s like she’d been hit by a truck. The realization that Roman was really gone finally sinking in.

Blitzky didn’t know what he should do. He was a genius, but completely clueless when it came to social and interpersonal skills. He hesitantly patted Bri on the head like a golden retriever, unsure how long was comforting so he just kept doing it. “You’re strong.”

Bri glanced up at Blitzky through her foggy tears and couldn't help but agree. She WAS strong.

The elevator opened to their floor as she looked down at the floor.

“Well” Blitzkey peeped, unsure of what to do, “this is it.”

“We have to fix him Blitzkey. There’s got to be a way.” she said rising to her feet, as if the little display he just witnessed never happened.

“You’re the boss.” Blitzky said as cheerful as he could muster.

“I’m giving you Pryce’s position. I trust you.”

“Thank you! I wasn't sure if maybe you'd want to take charge.... What will you do? Take over for Roman?”

“Until I can bring him back, I guess I’ll have to. I will bring him back Blitzkey.... If I have to make a deal with the Devil himself.” Bri stated adamantly before setting off down the hall like a woman possessed.

[natsspammityspamspamham]

Dino Rant (Nov 27 + Other Side Tales)

My siblings are currently mad at me. Here’s what went down. Tagging: @akaskira​ @ce-la​ @caratheillustrious​ Who are all practically my spiritual online older sister/sage advice givers and @lizard-in-the-rain​ who can be an idiot along with me.

For context:  Ate = Sister Kuya = Brother * My dad and I have a rocky past because he’s very old-fashioned, hasn’t been always supportive about my mental health, and is really old and out of date (especially about LGBTQ, feminism, HK protests, etc.) * My sister also has a rocky past with me but has since calmed down a little thanks to old age (she’s 23) * My brother is constantly busy with school (and stressed), is still mourning his breakup after a few months which continues to salt his wounds (not because his ex is crappy but she’s really nice. He’s having a bit of trouble still.), and is a very sensitive person (more sensitive than my sister)

Further in, you can see what happened at the orchestra concert on Saturday. For context, you can check out a previous rant.

Me: Dad got some bad oil burns. I was in the family room as he was yelling “[MOM NAME x 3] WHAT DO I DO WITH OIL BURNS?” Mom was upstairs and didn’t hear They are kinda big He’s upset

Ate: What the why didn't you help him call mom???? did you??? yike oil burns are no joke bc they hurt for longer bc water just steams away but oil sticks and keeps burning and the scars are worse

Me: Uh... I was scrolling on tumblr? I don’t know. I thought he already put ice.

Ate: smh

Me: But looking back, I heard the water running for less than a minute.

Ate: LOL

Me: And never heard the freezer open

Ate: water won't help unless you use soap anyways

Me: So I thought he did that but he was really just yelling for mom He didn’t even ice it. He said he ran some water over it.

Ate: make sure you help if someone yells for help next time even if you think it's handled bc if a person is panicking/in pain they're likely not thinking straight to help themselves speaking from experience

Me: Mom tried to give him advice now and he just walked away going “uh huh”

Ate: even I know to put my hand under cold running water and ice it but I've definitely not done that when I've burnt myself before I would be pretty choked too if there were 2 other people in the house and neither of them came to help me when I got oil burns

Me: Mom was upstairs and couldn’t hear. I thought he was crying wolf as usual.He yells for mom around three times on a daily basis

Ate: fair but fr next time take the 5 seconds to check bc sometimes bad things happenesp if all you hear is a thud

Me: “[Mom Name x 3 again] I CANT FIND THE [blank]!!!” Mom: it’s been in the same spot for over a decade. Look with your eyes.

Me: Mom does that once every other day (has a big thud) usually because something broke. When I heard the yell this time, I thought it was because he knocked something over. Dad is always yelling He even asked mom how to make the rice And didn’t make it because she didn’t answer fast enough Dad is a drama queen. That’s where we all get it from.

Ate: I mean

Kuya: Tf is this situation How can you ignore someone in need of help Regardless of who it is Doesn't it hurt to see someone suffering

Me: I didn’t see anything

Kuya: Unless you hold extreme animosity Like they killed your mom or something I have to hand something in by 10 But I find this quite upsetting

Me: I didn’t see anything, and the last thing he yelled was an oil burn, and the only advice I had was water and ice which I thought he already did.

Me (in response to animosity): Not extreme, but living with him with only me as the child has screwed a lot of things up.It has taken a toll on my sympathy for people (or whatever is left)

Ate: Same but he's still our dad?

Me: Eh, I honestly thought it was a small thing until I saw it.

Ate: I have only shreds of respect for him left but idk if I would go as far as to just overlook "oil burn" and figure "oh, I can't help so I'll ignore him" like that's a lil funny

Me: Again, when someone is constantly yelling, there’s a point where you don’t listen fully to what they’re saying. It only registered later that his burns might actually be serious and more than putting your fingertip on a hot pan. I also have little sympathy due to how he’s treated me during my past situations so honestly, I’ve little tolerance.

Afterwards, my mom called my sister who was absolutely hysterical and screaming on the other line to the point where my mom had to pull the phone away from her ear.

________________

Some Stupid Orchestra Stories:

Things I have said to my orchestra cohorts that might’ve scared them:

*sees me bump my instrument* Trumpet: Ouch Me (walking away): Snitches get stitches and end up in ditches, and dead men tell no tales. Doug: What?

*sees me bump my bow* Doug: Ouch Me (tired because I was just excluded from the conversation today because no one would listen to what I had to say): I’m going to stab you Doug: Pat, protect me!

Me: *tells anything about school* Everyone: MAJOR CONCERN (Examples: Kid said that this guy could have sex with his friend before she turned 21 by slipping a drug into her drink, kid saying he was going to hit a girl with a metal bar from the desk, kids smoking out back, kids make noise downstairs which causes the room I work in to shake, kids throwing stuff out car windows, kids brawling, my science teacher from regular school failing me for practically no reason)

More of an annoying incident from me: Hannah: Who’re you messaging? Your girlfriend? Sean: Yeah Me: YOU’RE STILL TOGETHER?! Sean: (sheepishly) yeah

To be fair, I get weirded out whenever they flash their privilege as semi-well off rich kids.  “Remember those special trips you get to take with your school to learn more about science? // Remember those international trips you take with your school club?” Me: ...no?! I’m not poor, I just dropped out of school before I could even go to my nearest McDonalds for a field trip.

But Doug is a little dumb sometimes. He doesn’t get my sense of humour (understandable), but he’s a little ignorant towards not-privileged people. 

He literally said he goes to sleep at 9:30pm, got into university (this is a semi-prestigious one) first try with 90s in all of his classes (at least), has a girlfriend, has friends, and doesn’t understand why anyone would stay later than that unless they had poor time management. His words, not mine. My brother stays there until around 12am studying. He was not happy to hear that. Doug is first year so my siblings are making fun of him saying he will perish in a year’s time. My parents saw him stealing kisses from his girlfriend in a parking lot during the day of our last concert. I seriously though the girl in his profile picture was his sister and not his girlfriend because they were both seriously white. Whiter than a bowl of milk I tell you.

He also doesn’t know what a period app would be for. I was a little annoyed. My brother knows about this well enough because we all know my sister and mom would not let anyone in this family live if they did not know the ins-and-outs of a period. Doug was like, “Why would you need to track that?” I responded, “Because they’re irregular.” He looked a little puzzled and I said, “Douglas, you’re a science major. There’s sex ed in school.” He responded that he is going into research (not sure what that has to do with menstrual ignorance) and never paid attention during sex ed (since it’s never for marks). I then got a little more pushy and said, “Well, if you ever want a girlfriend, maybe you should learn.” To which he said, “I have a girlfriend”. To which I gave him a look of:

Stories from the orchestra concert:

I did tell the bass instructor about this so maybe it’ll get sorted out but I did this “tell the teacher” thing twice where it backfired terribly. Let’s hope university kids are a little more grown up.

My messages from that night: Pat told me it was cute when I played in the wrong spots. It was genuine like she said it was cute. But it was like ??? I was having a panic attack. My brain left my body. I don’t want to play anymore. Then she put up her bow to make sure I wouldn’t flip the page Then she hit her bow on her bass. I really don’t want to play anymore. (She also repeated the same thing twice knowing from a previous talk that I have bad anxiety. She has anxiety as well.)

Me: Then Hannah and Patricia were commenting on my shoes. I like wearing my orthotics. They make my feet feel not in pain. Ate: tell them that Me: I did They told me to take off my shoes “They can’t even see my feet” I’m all the way in the back behind people “Then take off your shoes” “But then I’ll be in pain” “But you sit” (I have one foot on the ground) “So take them off. It’s for dress code. People can see you” Ate:  but it's literally a medical thing Tell them to actually fuck off hoh my god it's like asking a blind person to put their stick away bc people will trip on it or that you can't have your service dog with you like????

[decadentenemyturtle]

My Great Unknown

Part 18

Pairing: Thorin x Reader, Thorin’s company x Reader

Words: 3 300

Parts of the Great Unknown

The next few days that the company stayed in Beorn's house you avoided the dwarves as much as they avoided you. You hadn't talk to any of them, not that they would even want to chat with you. The glares and cold shoulder you received made sure of that, and because of this you just wanted to curl over a small ball and cry. You had thought they were your friends, you trusted them. But as people used to do - or dwarves in this case - when they got close enough to you they could call you a friend, they took a knife from the pocket and stab you in the back. They saw your fault's and didn't accepted them, instead turning away from you.

You should have seen it coming, tho. This wasn't a first time when someone let you down, stabbed you in the back, mistreated you. You were better on your own. Beorn and the wolf pup, Inugami was his name you had learned a pit later on, were the only loyal friends to you. Inugami stayed by your side day and night, starting to show that little wolf spirit he had.

This particular morning Nori was speaking some ill will over you to others and Inugami had heard it. He had bitten Nori on the calf, causing him to kick the pup. You hadn't seen it, but when you heard Nori screaming and then Inugami letting an long, pained whine, you dashed to the room.

When you saw Inugami hunch down, tail between his legs and whining and Nori's leg was rising, about to kick the little one again, something clicked in your head. Within a bolt you attacked Nori, throwing, yes throwing, him on the floor and kneeling over him. Nori coughed, his breath leaving his lungs, pain written all over his face. Good, you could only think. That was what he deserved for hurting your friend.

Dwarves around you gasped, alarmed, surprised. Even Bilbo and Gandalf were alarmed of this strange, new power of yours - knocking dwarf with a single blow to the floor wasn't an easy task. And your anger shone from you like a lighthouse on the seashore. You were pissed, to say at leas.

"If I see you pretty much as looking at Inugami ever again, I'll tear your body apart so well that even your soul won't depart to Aule's halls. Do you... understand... me?" you growled to Nori. You didn't know where the word's came from, your mind had planned to say something else, nor did you know what "Aule's hall" was, but since it seemed to work on Nori, you didn't mind. Because Nori did seem like he would piss himself, he was so scared.

"I asked... Do you... understand... me?!" you said, your voice like venom, after a minute when Nori didn't answer. You could see tears gathering in corner's of Nori's eyes. Even when it made you feel bad to make Nori cry, he had hurt Inugami and spoke badly about you, meaning that he was asking for this. Meaning that you shouldn't care. But that small part in you still cared.

Nori couldn't speak, he was so terrified. He only nodded and when you let go of him, glaring at him like you'd kill even his already dead ancestor's, Nori let out an sob. You wanted to think that this, this person you were turning to wasn't you, but.... This was the real you. There was so much hate and anger in you, the new kind of anger from your old life and the old anger from everything that happened you in your world and after coming in here, that it scared you. And what would be better target to release this anger, hatred and pain than these dwarves that were misusing you. You sneer to the rest of the dwarves before you turn and take Inugami in your arms and then walking away from the company.

"Can you... you... you idiots... stop doing this... this?!" you hear Kíli shouting to the rest of the company, anger clear as day in his voice. Your face turns a bit sad when you hear his outburst, a lump knotting in your throat. You missed talking with him and Fíli, joking with them. You missed them. Fíli and Kíli were like brothers you never had. And now you had lost them, thanks to your heritage. "She's our (Y/n), no matter who her parent's are! She's our... she's our (Y/n)... She's part of our baruf . And baruf means no one is left behind or is forgotten!" you hear Kíli shout, how his voice is breaking before he starts crying. And then he is shouting something in khuzdul, in language you had never learned to speak. Your mouth turns upside down and you take a fragile breath, tears gathering in your eyes. You couldn't take this.

He was still your friend. That sweet, sweet boy still loved you like you were his sister. When you got far enough from them, you leaned to the wall, falling down and letting Inugami out of your embrace before you started to cry, drawing your knees to your chest and pressing your head to your knees. You hated these weird feelings that hard started awake in you, these weird memories. And you were too scared to talk to anyone about them.

    Few hours later Bilbo came looking for you. You had stayed at the same spot in the back of the house, just sitting there and thinking, what you were going to do from now on. Inugami had wondered off somewhere after thanking you for saving him and making sure you were alright.

"Here you are, (Y/N). We started to wonder where you are hiding" Bilbo says as he sits on the floor next to you. You glance at him and then turn back to stare at the floor. If they had been looking for you, they did terrible job with it. Anyone should've seen you sitting here and they saw which direction you had wandered off.

"I'm not hiding, just don't feel like killing the dwarves today" you simply say. Bilbo scoffs at that, staring at you his brows knitted together. He hadn't heard you saying something like this before and after the incident with Nori, he wasn't sure whatever you were kidding or not.

"You know what kind of people the dwarves are, (Y/n). They don't trust elves and they have a reason for it" Bilbo sighs, turning to stare the opposite wall. You sniffle and frown, turning to stare at Bilbo. Oh you did know what kind of people they were, but that didn't give the a reason act hostile towards an old friend of theirs.

"Yea, sure, I think I'll just go and forgive them, then. Because they sure can hate me and my kind all they want and be as rude as they want, but I still have to be a nice little lass, who just smiles and nods and takes in every bad thing the world throws at me" you start to babble, your anger rising again. Bilbo is looking at you before he sighs and shakes his head a little.

"No, (Y/n), of course not. But answering to hate with hate isn't the answer" Bilbo points out with a serious look. You sigh and hit the back of your head to the wall, staring up to the ceiling. Bilbo was right, you knew he was. And you had let your anger take control of you, not that you were sorry about it. Someone had to fight back to those hairy shorties. Someone cleared their throat, gaining your and Bilbo's attention. Gloin stood there, a glare sent to you and a softer look to Bilbo.

"Food's ready" he grunt's before he turns and leaves. You glare after him before you turn to look Bilbo's offered hand. He had already jumped up and was ready to help you up. You stare at his hand a few more seconds, before gritting your teeth together and taking his offered hand and stand up. Walking after him to the kitchen you see the company already sitting around the table, Beorn leaning against the wall and Gandalf sitting on chair next the chess board. You stop next to the wizard glaring at the company, while Bilbo sits next to Gloin. Beorn sends a look to you before he turns back to the company.

The air hung heavy in the room, stiff and still, ready to explode at any minute. You let your eyes roam in every dwarves face. None of them looked at you, not even Fíli or Kíli, who were facing you. OK, so, something had happened while you were away. Something that angered even these two. You let your head drop and walk towards the room, not feeling like you could stomach any food.

"Where are you going, little spirit?" Beorn's voice calls after you. Little spirit? you muse as you turn to look at him.

"Out. I'm not hungry" you answer to him, then stepping out of the house. Once outside, you walk towards the gate. You hadn't stepped out of the safe country yard, but the world outside of the enclosed yard had started to call you. You heard the door open and then close, before few heavy steps start to follow you, only to come to an halt.

"Lass, we're leaving tomorrow, so hold up your excitement of wandering out there" Bombur's voice calls. You stop and turn towards him. He was holding a gigantic bread on his other hand and big mug on his other hand. You wondered whatever the dwarf never stopped eating. After eyeing him for sometime, Bombur looked at you and then the food on his hands.

"Brought these for you. You haven't eaten nearly anything since yesterday. Can't keep ye hungry" he explains. You wanted to retort how you'd find your own poisoned food, but decided to keep your mouth shut. Your lips on a thin line you go to the fat dwarf and take the bread and mug from him, muttering a thank you. He nods, sad look taking over his face. Without saying anything, he turned and went back inside. You instead looked down at the food. Milk and bread, that's all you got while they ate what not. You wondered whatever you should feed the bread to the chickens and toss the milk to the flowers and go with empty stomach as you had planned. Surely the company wouldn't know whatever you had actually eaten or not, if they even cared.

    You sat under a tree, empty mug next to you. In the end you had eaten the food and stayed on the yard. Beorn had come to check on you, offering to bring you some more food if you still wanted something. You refused, telling the bear man that the bread was more than enough. It had been hard enough to eat it, you couldn't possibly eat anything else. Even more so, when you had started to replay your weird dreams, or possible memories, of dark forest, two blond, three brunette's and one black haired elves laughing, chatting and enjoying themselves, while you and smaller elf, a child you assumed, were playing with wooden swords. You kind of knew who they were, but their face's were blurry, voice's muffed, names somewhere deep in your memory.

Then the memory would pass to another normal day and then to another and another. At some point you recognized Gandalf, the only one you could name even without seeing his face or hearing his voice well. You wondered whatever you should and tell at leas for him after seeing him in your dream like memory, that you might actually know each other.

At some point of your thinking and playing your memories over and over after eating, you heard the door open. You peeked from behind the tree and saw Dwalin with Kíli, Fíli and Ori following him.

"So, ye wan't us to teach ye to fight properly?" you hear Dwalin ask. Your brow rises, when you see Ori nodding ones, twice. The brother's send a look to each other and then turn back to Ori.

"And why exactly is that? Not that knowing how to protect yourself is a bad thing, but... Why now?" Fíli asks. Before Ori can even answer, Dwalin sighs and sends a look to the older prince.

"Isn't that obvious, laddie? Ye saw what (Y/n) did to Nori, how easily she tossed 'im to the ground" Dwalin says. He wasn't angry, for your greater surprise. "That kinda power dinnae come in one night. Am sure that she is what that beard man said, a mix of an elf and maiar" They were quiet, all three younger dwarves staring at Dwalin. you retreated behind the tree, staring down. So if Dwalin acknowledged what you might be, maybe the others did too. Well, most of them. Or then they just acknowledged your father to be an elf.

"I'm not doing this just because I want to protect myself. I want to protect miss (Y/n), from you! She wouldn't have attacked Nori, if he knew how to clam up! As would the rest of the company!" Ori says, rather angrily. Your brow rises and you glance the tree. For the love of God and everything that is holy, do not give him a weapon. you thought. You feared Ori might actually stab Dwalin and maybe even the brothers, if they even dared as much as grin to what he had just said. But the three dwarves said nothing and as you peeked again, you saw that they looked rather surprised. Smiling a little to yourself you sat back against the tree and decided to stay there, listening how Dwalin started to train Ori. Funny, now when you thought about it, how they started to do it just now and not earlier. Knowing how to use a sword was a better to defend oneself than using a slingshot.

The day was turning to an evening when they finally retreated back inside, Ori deciding to go to a bath. The door closes and right then Kíli sits next to you. You turn to him, your brow rising in surprise.

"You need something?" you manage to ask. Kíli shakes his head a little and a small, sad smile grows on his face. His eyes meet yours and you hold his brown gaze.

"Nah, just saw you spying on us earlier. Wanted to come to talk you back then, but Ori wanted to train, so..." he says and shrugs. Small smile grows to your lips. Kíli was still being himself with you. He wasn't angry to you, but something had still bothered him earlier in supper. Whatever you wanted to know what it was, you weren't sure.

"So, how's my protector doing?" you decided to ask instead. Kíli grinned and came to sit next to you, your shoulders touching.

"Well, let's just say his getting there" other voice says. You turn to look at Fíli, who had trait full of food and behind him comes Thorin, holding four large mugs in his arms, probably full of milk. You look at them, then eyeing suspiciously the food. Fíli crouches next to you, putting the train in front of you just as you manage to cross your legs. Then Fíli turns to take the mugs from his uncle, giving one to you. You mutter your thanks, still eyeing your old mug. Once Fíli and Thorin were seated, Kíli leaned to you, throwing a hand over your shoulders and squeezed.

"Eat, you'll faint otherwise" he says rather seriously. You turn to look at Kíli, who looks as serious as he sounded. Then you turn to the food and sigh. Fine, the bread hadn't done it's job, so...

"If you really wanna poison me, then fine, I'll eat" your grumble and start to nibble cold meat. How great was that, they hadn't even thought about warming it to you.

"What?" the brothers ask in unison, while their uncle was just staring at you in utter shock. You turn to glare at them before returning your eyes to the tray.

"What what? I'm part elf, of course you'd like to see me drop dead" you say after eating another peace of meat. Fíli and Kíli threw a look to each other, before Fíli groaned and and he threw his head back while Kíli pressed his head against your shoulder. Thorin kept his eyes on you, deep frown set on his face. Then he finally sighs, his face relaxing a little.

"Never. We would never poison you, or turn our blade to you" he says before taking your other hand in his. You look at each other, your appetite disappearing slowly. After swallowing the food, you start to worry your lower lip instead of taking more food.

"We don't particularly hate you, we're just being doubtful" Fíli tries to reassure you, but little did it help. You still felt awful. Seeing your face Fíli added "We still like you and consider you as a friend"

"That's... hard to believe" you admire, throwing a look to Fíli. His face drops and he turns to his uncle, hopelessly. They look at each other, before Thorin turns slowly to you.

"She doesn't trust us, and cause of a good reason" Kíli pipes and snuggles closer to you. He was a bit too close for your liking. You felt like you needed breath. Thorin runs his thump over your knuckles and you let your eyes meet with his.

"Is that why you've been crying while we've been sleeping?" he asks, looking rather sad now. Your face flushes red. Few times you had woken for a dream, your cheeks wet with tears. It wasn't because of the company, it was the memory like dreams you had had. But you had thought that no one hadn't noted how you had been crying. A bit ashamed to hear that they actually knew you shake your head. Whatever they were thinking about you, weak halfling, crying in the night.

"No, I... had weird dreams. Like.... or never mind" you mumbled. Would it be good idea to tell them about your memories? Gandalf was the only one you needed to talk about them, but the others? Eh, no. What would they do with that information? Mock you, if nothing else.

"What? What kind of dreams?" Thorin asks, but you just shake your head, biting your lip a bit too hard.

"Uncle, she's not ready to talk about them" Fíli points out, patting your knee. You send him a look before you turn back to the ground. Yeah, you weren't ready. Thorin just sighs and then he gestures you to eat. You didn't feel like eating, but you thought that these three wouldn't let you go before you'd emptied the tray. So, you ate and drank the milk, while Fíli was humming something, Thorin holding your other hand and Kíli was snuggling your side and snoring slightly.

When the tray was empty, Fíli pressed his lips to your temple and smiled to you before getting up, kicking his brother awake and taking the tray and his mug with him, Kíli following him with big yawn after ruffling your hair. Thorin stayed with you, still holding your hand. He didn't say anything before the boys were in the house. 

"Will you forgive me for how I acted?" he asked. He looked sincere, his eyes were sad. You knew he meant it. But could you really forgive him of tossing you aside after what he had heard? Because gods know what there still was in your part.

Tag’s; 

 @lidda @bee-wrecker @queendarkmuffin@silencegetawayfromme@kettnerjanea @sdavid09 @ealasaid@jumpingmanatee @fab-notfat @bae-age @fricking-ghoul @k-youre-a-fantasy@dumbgopher1 @maddybeck01 @naminalati @leah-halliwell92@evyiione @tschrist1 @red608@aliendaddiesneeded@letsbeinspiredby@jotink78 @dragongirl642 @shxrrybomb

Those with bold name’s are the name’s I couldn’t tag for some reason.

[torippiyos]

Ota Motohiro in TAIPEI Fanmeeting Report!

Mokkun had two fanmeets in Taipei on the 3rd of February, and they’re his first fanmeetings overseas! I was on a trip with my friends during that time so I managed to go for the first session (thank you to my wonderful friends for indulging me and sending me to the convention centre i love all of you). My Chinese and Japanese aren’t the best so I tried my very best to understand and write down whatever I could remember! (so i’m writing this on the train right after lol)

He had quite a lot of merch lined up which included plastic folders of his Gekkan photoshoot, and about 6-8 sets of bromides? I was almost late so I bought one set of bromides for 300NTD and a cheki opportunity for 500NTD.

To start the fanmeeting off we were told to call out “Mokkun!” in the loudest and cutest voice before he emerged. He tweeted that he had specially bought nice clothes for the fanmeet in Taiwan since it was his first international one, and I really wouldn’t have guessed what it was because he turned up in a suit that was all black (including his inner shirt) and his blazer was GLITTERING lol quite extra but really nice!

The first segment was a few questions about Taiwan since he had only arrived the day before. He said that he went to Jiufen the day before and he didn’t expect it to be so windy and it was also raining a lot, so everyone had their umbrellas up and he thought it was kind of dangerous lol but he ate a lot of really good food there too. I don’t actually remember most of the questions during this segment because he was talking a /lot/ and he even apologised to the translators about it lol He was also surprised that most of the audience understood Japanese to a certain degree since we were all reacting to what he was saying without needing the translator. He also noted how Taiwan is a lot like Japan, and the entire atmosphere feels very familiar.

He talked a lot about food too. He was having dim sum the day before and he was served buns with a custard filling (im not sure how to explain it in a non chinese way but it’s like nikuman but with custard filling instead) and it was served in the bamboo steamer like the rest of the savoury dishes. When he bit into it it kind of exploded (?) and ran down onto his clothes lol He was wondering if it was meant to be a dessert separate from the rest of the dim sum, and when the audience replied him in Japanese before the translator could translate for us, he jumped out of his seat and yelled “Hey, you guys really CAN understand Japanese!”

The emcee also asked if anyone went to greet him at the airport, and Mokkun seemed to really appreciate it, and the she also asked if anyone came from overseas in which there were only about three, including myself. When I responded with 新加坡 he said シンガポール！ありがとうございます (so i was quite happy about that hehe) Mokkun himself also did a small poll on the different plays which the audience first heard of him, most from Tenimyu, followed by Toumyu, Pedasute, and a small handful from Messiah, Kurobasu and Kuroshitsuji.

For the second segment they played a behind the scenes video of Mokkun during his Gekkan and calendar photoshoot in Vietnam and it was really adorable~ And everyone was more or less commentating on it. In Vietnam, Mokkun ate a LOT of coriander/cilantro and he really liked it, even eating it by itself (something i don’t understand how anyone does) and he said he’ll eat anything with coriander in it/smells like there’s coriander in it, to the point where he feels like some kind of animal eating grass wwww

When it came to clips of that One Really Pretty Outfit the audience went “woo~” and he “woo~”ed back, but the second time they did it he got embarrassed. At this point in the video they showed him with his newly bought hand fan which he was Very amused by and now keeps in his home.

The third segment was fan questions, although I’m not entirely sure where they picked the questions from. (i apologise for the answers being in third person, i don’t want to misquote him because of my bad memory)

Q: What foods are you looking forward to eating in Taiwan, or if you have arrived, what foods have you eaten?

A: He mentioned the dim sum and custard bun, and that he’s also looking forward to/had also eaten chou tofu (smelly bean) and he was quite surprised by the strong scent.

Q: What made you decide to get into 2.5D productions?

A: Back then the industry wasn’t really called 2.5D, but he made his debut with Tenimyu and decided to carry on with that.

Q: What was your first reaction to/impression of Sengo Muramasa?

A: He was shocked when he saw that he was casted as Sengo, because he felt that he was nothing like Sengo looks and personality-wise after seeing the official illustration. He really thought it was a mistake and he wanted to bring it up to the producers, but since rehearsals were starting in two weeks he decided not to lol. He also said that because most of Team Mihotose is on the serious side, he wanted to make Sengo a different but interesting standout.

Q: Prior to your casting in Toumyu, which other swords would you have wanted to be casted as?

A: He hadn’t really thought about what other characters he could’ve possibly played, but maybe Ookurikara because he’s so cool! He also really likes the black, gold, and red colour scheme so possibly Kashuu too.

(The next question is where my brain blanked and got jumbled up but it was about cross-dressing and Anna Edelman from Magdala da Maria Live)

Because of time constraints, the emcee skipped to the final question which she felt all of us wanted to see (which we did www) which was...

Q: Please show us a sexy pose.

A: For some reason, when he thinks of a sexy pose he thinks of licking or sticking out the tongue (like Hanamiya Makoto from Kurobasu, he said, but that ones a bit gross huh). He seemed embarrassed but in the end he chose to lick his finger sjfkskfjfkf mokkun pls

Forgive me if I get the order mixed up, but the next segment was a game that Mokkun could play with the audience, where he had to find out who was the wolf among the red riding hoods from 5 participants. (I would’ve gone but I barely understood the description of the game at the beginning lol) He had 3 guesses to get it right if not there would be a punishment game (which everyone was eager to see). I swear this man knows he is ultimately Very Sexy so when asked the five of them “Are you the wolf?” he got really close to their faces so they’d crack. In the end he got it right on the last guess so everyone was vaguely disappointed hehe

The next segment I believe was where we could ask Mokkun to say something in Chinese, and the first thing that was requested was 我今晚不让你回家 (I won’t let you go home tonight) (“Huh? Why is this so erotic lol” -Mokkun upon hearing the translation and learning how to say it) and someone else shouted NUGIMASHOUKA and without needing someone to tell him how to say it in Chinese and without hesitation he said 我们一起脱下吧！The only other two things he remembers how to say in Chinese are “Hello everyone” and “Thank you” wwww

Since Mokkun was in Jiufen the day before, he bought five fans for his fans (haha get it), signed and all and there was a lucky draw done with the ticket stubs. The Big prize was an alarm clock also signed by Mokkun, and the lucky person who’s stub was drawn got to get a personalised wake up call recorded on the clock. While deciding on what he should say that one same person shouted 我不让你起床 (I won’t let you wake up) (“Hey seriously?”)

The next segment was a free photo taking event, which I was slightly surprised was a thing, where he just went around the room striking Very Cute poses. We can’t post any of them online at all but I have about 50 photos of him in my phone now lol if I had a better seat there would definitely be more. Mokkun said he’d never done stuff like this in Japan but he was quite happy to be able to do it now.

With that it more or less concluded the fanmeet. Mokkun was very grateful to those who showed up and supported him, and that we’ll continue to watch future productions he’s in. He also slipped in a promotion to by the UtaPri DVD lol

Oh and there was the cheki segment at the end! Everyone except for around five people bought the cheki, and we had the option to either do a peace sign with Mokkun or a heart, and you can probably tell what everyone went for wwww afterwards we got to high-five him. It was my first cheki ever so I was nervous especially since everyone else looked really good and cute?? Also I am Quite Small so Mokkun did feel quite tall to me. When we leaned in to do the heart he really did smell very nice~ (“you smell like shit” -me to my friend wearing dior @ prom) And his smile was absolutely gorgeous I’m glad I got to look at it up close..

First fanmeet experience was great and I’m really glad I seized the opportunity~ I’ve really loved Mokkun since getting into 2.5D with Pedasute so I’m really happy I got to see him IRL.

[spartanguard]

a charm of powerful trouble (4/5)

Summary: Killian should have known to keep his flask close when a mad scientist was on the loose. But at least werewolves don’t drink rum, right? (3.6k, rated PG)

A/N: Sorry it’s been so long! My muse has a terrible lack of focus, even though this has been thoroughly outlined for a month. But I finally have an update! And there’s one more to come. Thanks to @optomisticgirl for looking this over and to @cocohook38 and @snowbellewells for keeping me going :D

Part 1 (art) | Part 2 (art) | Part 3 (art) | Part 4 (art) | AO3

Dawn filtered hazy through the windows of the cabin and Killian lazily blinked open his eyes at the light, happy to be on his ship with the woman he loved in his arms. She shifted a bit and he glanced down at her as she too fluttered her eyelashes as she woke.

“Mm, good morning,” she murmured, pulling herself even closer to him and trailing a hand up his arm, grazing his collarbones and neck on her way to the tips of his ears. She played with them, teasing, “My, what big ears you have.”

“The better to hear you with, my dear,” he answered.

She smiled up at him. “And what big, blue eyes you have.”

“The better to see you with, Swan.”

Finally, she placed a gentle kiss on his lips and pulled back, leaving him grinning. “And what big teeth you have,” she finished, biting her lip and glancing up through her lashes.

He growled into her ear, nudging it with his nose. She smelled positively delectable and he could feel a familiar hunger growing within. “The better to eat you with, love.”

He reared back and sank his teeth into her shoulder. She screamed, but not in the good way. She tasted divine, but all too soon, she was out of reach and he was left licking his chops, craving more.

She stood on the opposite side of the cabin from him, hands outstretched defensively and a terrified look on her face. Wait, why was she scared of him?

“Emma, it’s me,” he tried to say, but all that came out were ferocious roars. He glanced down at his paws and fur-covered limbs. Oh, right.

“Help! There’s a wolf!” she shouted, and her palms began to glow.

“Please, Swan, listen to me!” he shouted, only to howl.

“What did you do with my husband?” She was angry and holding back tears, breaking his heart.

“I’m right here!”

“GO AWAY!” she yelled, and unleashed her powers at him. He writhed and twisted against the magical restraints, still shouting for her to listen to him, but it was all for nought until—

—Until he awoke thrashing in his own bed. As a human.

Emma was lying next to him with her hands gripping his shoulders. “Hey, hey—it’s okay; it was just a dream. You’re okay now.”

Immediately, his hand went to her face, cupping it—he had to feel that warmth against his skin, to see if she was real. She tilted her head into his touch and gave him a soft smile that eased the concerned furrow of her brow, and his panic ebbed a little.

He couldn’t help it: he surged forward to claim her lips with his, desperate for that connection. This whole ordeal had only started hours ago, but it felt like ages that he’d been separated from her. She responded just as hungrily, which was reassuring—until he remembered that she’d been through quite a bit last night, too.

He broke the kiss but tugged her close to him, practically burying his head in her shoulder; as terrible as he felt about everything, he needed that physical contact to ground him right now. “Emma, I’m so sorry; I’m so sorry for everything last night—”

She cut him off, firmly but gently telling him, “Hey, you have nothing to apologize for. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

He pulled back to look at her, astonished by the resolve and forgiveness on her face. “Swan, I hurt you and Belle. How could I...how can you...?” How can you look at me? were the words he couldn't voice.

“No. You didn’t do anything; the wolf did. Actually, whoever did this to you is really who should be blamed.”

“But I wasn’t strong enough to fight back.” How could she think he was innocent in this?

“You did the best you could. No one is mad at you, babe. Please don’t beat yourself up about it; please.”

He scoffed a bit, both at how well she knew him and at the fact that it was too late. True, he was getting better at letting go of the past and not letting his sins weigh on him so heavily, but situations like this reminded him of just who he’d been: ruthless and mindless when it came to his revenge and anyone who got in his way. But if he wasn’t that man anymore, then he should have been able to fight against the beast; he should have protected those he loved instead of letting it run free.

A knock on the bedroom door interrupted his self-deprecating train of thought. “She’s right, you know.” Granny was peeking in the doorway and he could smell the grilled cheese and onion rings she had with her (much stronger than he usually could, actually). “Most wolves have even less control than you did on their first transformation. I certainly didn’t. Hell, Ruby ate her boyfriend.”

“Uh, Granny, that part probably doesn't help,” Emma interjected, muttering as she pulled the sheets tighter around them. Killian was less concerned with propriety, and felt his heart rate pick up a tick.

But Granny shrugged it off. “Point is, you did fine, and you’ll be fine. I’m sure of it.” She set the bag of food at the foot of the bed; Emma’s stomach growled in response—though, was it louder than normal, or did it just seem like it? “Now eat up; even if the wolf ate, transformation takes a lot out of you and you both must be starved.”

He wasn’t sure he had much of an appetite, once he recalled what his last meal was, but it wasn’t long after Granny left and Emma dug into hers that he suddenly found himself ravenous.  For lack of a better word, he found himself wolfing down the french fries and reuben sandwich brought for him (he’d never had a reuben before, but he figured Granny’s lupine senses must have known he’d like it—which was mildly concerning, but he was too focused on his meal to really think about it). He was just finishing Emma’s onion rings when her phone rang from its spot on the nightstand.

“Oh, good—it’s Regina,” she said as she grabbed it and answered. “Hey, what did you find out?”

Though it was quiet, Killian heard the mayor’s response clear as day. “You might want to put this on speakerphone; if he’s awake, you’re both gonna want to hear this.” That didn’t sound good.

Emma did as was asked and scooted next to Killian; he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close instinctively. “What’s up?” Emma asked.

“Guyliner, you there?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, I have good news and bad news,” Regina started. “The good news is that I caught the culprit and he’s all ready to be processed. He doesn’t seem to be a huge fan of the cells at the station, but take your time. And be sure to add theft to the list of charges.”

“I was going to return them!” Whale protested in the background. Emma and Killian both sighed; of course it was him.

“How’d you figure out it was him?” Emma wondered.

“Remember my missing spellbooks?” Regina had put in a formal complaint earlier that week, but they’d been too busy to follow up on it. “They had similar transformation potions in them, but not quite to that extent. So I made an educated guess, baited this guy to my place on the promise of a couple hearts, and that was that.”

“You’re sure?” Killian had to ask. It was believable, but...this was also Storybrooke. It wasn’t uncommon for multiple villains to be running around at the same time.

“Oh, I’m sure. I put him under my own version of a polygraph test, and he spilled everything, even where the brains came from.”

Emma groaned, slightly exasperated. “Did you take his heart?”

“I gave it back,” was Regina’s nonchalant answer.

Emma huffed, but plowed on. “Okay, your turn to go on speaker. We need to talk to Whale.” While they waited for Regina to switch her phone, she reached over and gave a comforting squeeze of Killian’s leg through the bed covers. It helped a bit, but he could still feel a ball of anxiety growing in his stomach, and it wasn’t just the greasy food. Just because he was human right now didn’t mean he was in the clear; he needed to hear just what the mad doctor had done to him.

“What’s up, Savior?” the doctor’s smarmy voice greeted over the phone.

She just rolled her eyes. “Cut the crap, Frank-N-Furter. What exactly did you do and why?”

“I think it’s pretty obvious what I did.”

“Humor me. We already know you love to hear yourself talk.”

“Hm, that’s true,” he conceded, and to their surprise, he launched right into an explanation. “I did it for the same reason anyone conducts experiments: to see if I could. Letting the patients out was just a ruse to get you out of the house. Slipped in and put in the flask, easy peasy. You should really rethink your home security.”

Killian could feel her tense next to him; Whale’s casual attitude was grating on him, but Emma plowed on. “Why did you do this to Killian?” she demanded.

“The pirate is a prime specimen. Look at how old he is and how much he’s been through. If it works on him, it’d work on anyone.”

Anxiety quickly turned to anger within—once more, he was just a means to an end, being used. Old rage filled him up and burst out. “So that’s all I am—a lab rat in your game of science? Not an actual person, with a life that you’ve so carelessly interrupted?” The doctor was lucky that he wasn’t physically there; even with his brace shredded, Killian would have found a way to get Whale on the wrong end of his hook.

“I mean...yeah,” was all Whale had to say.

It was a good thing they were alone, because Killian jumped out of bed and began to pace furiously, hardly giving second thought to his nudity. This was his childhood all over again: he was just an object, under the control of someone else; it was, quite literally, dehumanizing.

He could feel Emma’s worried gaze as he stalked his side of the room. “Okay, but what it is, exactly, and how do we fix it?”

“It’s a transformation potion, but an incredibly potent one. I super-concentrated it for maximum power.”

Regina asked, “Why a werewolf? Couldn’t you have picked something with less...fleas?”

“Ruby left a hairbrush here once, so I had to work with what was on hand.”

“So it’s like Polyjuice Potion?” To his surprise, Emma seemed relieved by the revelation, but he had no idea what that was. She threw him a glance with the corner of her mouth ticked up, which usually meant she’d explain it later.

“Kind of. Same idea, but this one isn’t as...temporary, I guess?”

Any relief disappeared.

“What do you mean?” Emma asked slowly.

Whale explained, “It was designed to be a bit more permanent in nature.”

The pit that had been forming in his stomach rapidly became a dropping stone, and Killian was frozen in place; even the dustmotes swimming in the light streaming through the windows seemed to still. What the bloody hell did he mean? Emma’s mouth hung open in shock and she was staring at him, but clearly both were left speechless.

So Whale continued. “Tell me, Captain, have you noted anything different since you returned to human form? Heightened senses; a craving for meat?”

Killian swallowed as a cold sense of realization washed over him. “Aye, I have,” he confirmed with a low, shaky voice. Those subtle differences he’d noticed over the last few hours felt like giant warning signs now.

“Then there you have it,” Whale concluded. “There’s a slight chance it’ll wear off eventually, but I designed it to be even more potent than a werewolf’s bite. Ideally, you’d transform for an entire week around the full moon, rather than just a day.”

Emma snorted and proceeded to unleash verbal abuse on the doctor, but Killian found himself tuning it out despite his apparently enhanced hearing. This curse was permanent. No amount of True Love magic could reverse or alter it; no spell or potion could undo it. His entire life had been redirected and likely torn apart thanks to one sip of a psychotic man’s cruel experiment. If he wasn’t safe for even a rabbit to be around when he transformed, then how could he hope to stay with Emma?

Suddenly, she was in front of him, telling him to look her in the eye and breath; he hadn’t realized that he’d collapsed to his knees until Emma’s voice pulled him from the self-induced fog in which he’d placed himself.

She stroked his cheek—normally a comforting gesture, but it didn’t fit with the uncertainty in her shaky voice. “I promise you, we’ll figure this out,” she said, but she didn’t seem as convinced anymore. And if she wasn’t, how was he to be?

He hummed an agreement halfheartedly and leaned into her touch. But he knew that regardless of whatever she believed, he was now a danger to her; come nightfall—and possibly long after—he’d have to be far away.

Emma couldn’t help the disbelieving snort that escaped her lips when Whale explained what he’d done to Killian. “So this is all a game to you? You don’t mind that you’ve completely changed someone’s entire life—entire being—for the sake of some ridiculous study?”

“No, this is science,” he threw back, smugly, making her want to slap the cocky grin off his head that was surely there. And she was half tempted to ask Regina to do it for her.

“And you’re certain there’s no reversal?”

“DNA can only be messed with so many times; it’s dangerous stuff.”

“Emma, just let your pirate’s next meal be him,” Regina interjected. “As mayor, I’ll let this one slide.”

It was definitely a tempting offer, but said pirate was currently kneeling on the floor, staring at nothing and dangerously close to a panic attack. “As much as I might love that, we’ll figure out the doctor later; just make sure he can’t leave the station. I’ll meet you at the library.” After hanging up, she gave herself to the count of ten to freak out before going to Killian. As life-altering as this was for him, it was rocking her world, too. She knew he’d eventually have the beast in check, but how long would it take? How many more nights like the last would they face? They’d been separated before, but she didn’t think could handle it on such a regular interval. She’d gotten too used to his constant presence and unwavering support at her side to willingly give it up for even a short amount of time.

But right now, it was her turn to be that for him. She took one last deep breath before slipping off the bed and kneeling in front of him. “Killian,” she whispered. “Look at me.” God, how many times had she said that in the past 24 hours? “Breath, babe; just breathe.” He looked up at her; that panic that had finally started to ease from his eyes had found its way back in and it broke her heart. They had to find a way around this, but right now, all signs were pointing to dead ends. She couldn’t tell him that, though.

So, for the millionth time, she stroked his cheek and told him, “I promise you, we’ll figure this out.” It lacked her normal conviction, but it was one of those things where if she said it enough, she might start to believe it again.

He was equally unconvinced, but agreed anyway. They stayed there on the floor for a bit, just holding each other and trying to wrap their heads around this, until Killian began to sway and she nearly had to catch him to prevent him from falling over, squeezing his shoulders to stabilize him.

“Okay, back in bed with you,” she directed, though admittedly less forcefully than usual; she stood to pull him up with both hands and he followed with no protest. “Get some more rest while I go see what I can figure out with Regina, okay?”

He just nodded, but before she could step aside to tug back the covers for him, he pulled her tight to him, one arm around her waist and his hand on her cheek, and placed a searing kiss on her lips. Normally, such situations, given their present lack of clothing, would lead to other activities. But this didn’t have the usual heat—just the passion. He’d only kissed her like this a few times in the past, and though she knew what he was trying to say, she couldn’t afford to think like that.

When he finally broke away, he pressed his forehead to hers and murmured, “I love you, Emma.” She was short on breath, but managed to return the endearment, and they stood there for a moment just breathing each other in. Then he placed a gentle kiss on her temple and backed away, gave her a tired half-smile, and moved toward getting in the bed. He was asleep before she’d even finished tucking him in.

He was trying to say goodbye, she could tell. Only this time, she’d be damned if she let him.

She quickly dressed and poofed right over to the library, not even wanting to waste the time it would take to walk out of the house. If Belle noticed when Emma appeared in the lobby, it wasn’t apparent; she was too absorbed in a book, with another stack next to where she was reading, seated at one of the tables in the stacks.

“Finding anything?” Emma asked as she approached, finally drawing Belle’s attention. The doorbell chimed in the background, signaling Regina’s arrival.

Looking up from the page, Belle shook her head and answered. “Nothing yet. I’ve looked at transformation spells, books on mythology, and even some theoretical physics and medical books. Nothing on how to reverse something like this.”

Emma just sighed, and Regina awkwardly offered her a pat on the shoulder as David arrived with coffee. Regina caught everyone up on what Whale had revealed, and Belle just shook her head at the news. “He’s right, unfortunately; there’s nothing that can turn a werewolf back into a human, especially if the source he used was someone who was born one.”

Emma felt her stomach fall to the tile floor. “So there’s nothing we can do?” She hated how watery her voice sounded, but the prospect of no solution...they’d overcome too much to hit a brick wall now. “He’s just...going to be a wolf forever?”

Her father’s heavy, comforting grasp squeezed her shoulder. “Hey, just because it can’t be reversed doesn’t mean we can’t handle it,” he assured her. “We’ve done it before and we can do it again. And if there’s anyone who can overcome this, it’s Hook.”

“It might take some time, but once he accepts it, he’ll be fine,” Belle added. “And David’s right—I know he can.”

Regina concurred, which was probably the most reassuring, and eased Emma’s internal tension a bit. “Okay, what do we do?”

David and Belle gave her as much of a crash course as they could in wolf taming, her father having been the one to get Ruby through it just after the curse broke. They promised they’d be on standby if they were needed tonight, but their instruction had Emma feeling confident; no, things weren’t going to be perfect, but they were going to be as close to it as possible.

A trip to the station and then the hospital saw Whale in a new residence: the cells. It wasn’t an ideal prison, but it seemed fair to have him on the other side of his odd brand of medicine for once.

Darkness was falling by the time that was wrapped up, so Emma hurried home with dinner from Granny’s: the usual for her again, and a rather pink steak for Killian. The house was still dark when she arrived; she didn’t blame him if he was still napping. But the moonrise was imminent—he needed to be awake and she needed to be with him if they were going to manage this thing.

Tossing the food on the kitchen table, she then headed upstairs to their room. As usual, the bed was perfectly made and his side of the room was spotless; not even a stray sock was on the floor. But it was empty, and there were no signs of life anywhere else. Shit.

Proper gentleman that he was, though, there was a note lying on the bed:

Emma—

It would be the poorest of form to knowingly put you in danger, my love. As such, I’ve sequestered myself for the night to keep you—and others—out of harm’s way. Please do not fret, and know that I will return come morning, hopefully no worse for the wear.

Counting down the hours and leaving all my love with you,

—Killian

She sighed, shaking her head. Of course the dramatic bastard would run off, thinking it was for the best. Despite everything, they were both still getting used to the fact that they didn’t have to go through things alone, so this was one instance where she knew to seek him out.

And, predictable as he was, she was pretty positive she knew where he’d gone. With a wave of her hand, she transported to the Jolly Roger.

thanks again for reading! tagging @kat2609 @thesschesthair @fergus80 @xpumpkindumplingx @its-like-a-story-of-love @shipsxahoy @mryddinwilt @annytecture @killian-whump @laschatzi @ive-always-been-a-pirate @jscoutfinch @nfbagelperson @stubble-sandwich @phiralovesloki @athenascarlet @kmomof4 @ilovemesomekillianjones @whimsicallyenchantedrose @pirateherokillian @luvmylife25 @drowned-dreamer @lenfaz @losttalongthewayy

[missmeikakuna]

Chad and the Incel Chapter 5

Rated: M

Fandom: Original Fiction (but inspired by the Virgin vs Chad meme)

Relationship type: Male/Male with a bit of Female/Female (the lesbians are adorable, btw) and unrequited Male/Female (in other words, the guys are bisexual).

Description: Chad is, well, a Chad, or at least he looks like one. He’s got his sights set on the cool nerd Becky and enlists the help of her shy incel ex-friend Noah, offering to help him get the gorgeous girl (Stacy) he desperately wants. Noah is reluctant to help, believing that he will be stuck in inceldom forever, but Chad’s interest in his life gives him hope. When their plans go awry, they start turning their romantic attention towards each other.

Content Warning: Given the subject matter, you can guess that this story has dark themes in it, such as suicide and self-harm (plus the mental health issues that often cause them), sexism, slut-shaming homophobia, biphobia and transphobia. There is also swearing and some mentions of sex but nothing too explicit (hence the M rating as opposed to an Explicit rating).

5th Post: Rate my looks

Noah’s hand wobbled as he held his phone up. The same words repeated in his head.

‘I’m not taking a selfie because I’m a narcissist. This is important research.’

He took a photo and glowered at it. He took another photo. Then another. Eventually he had taken ten photos and hated all of them. He took one last photo and sighed. It would have to do.

He uploaded the photo to Incels.me while holding his breath. His nerves were set aflame and he felt like pacing through his house. He expected low ratings on his looks from the other incels but he knew he needed to see those bad ratings, anything to take him out of the fairyland he’d let himself fall in thanks to Chad. He lied down on his bed and stared at the ceiling, wondering if he would ever get any sleep. Half an hour later, his drooping eyes gave him his answer.

When he arrived at school the next day, his jitteriness was not lost in Chad. ‘You okay?’ Chad asked as they sat down to eat at lunchtime.

‘I’m fine!’ Noah snapped at him.

‘Jeez, who woke up on the wrong side of the-’

‘I have no patience for clichés right now, Chad Thundercock.’

Chad’s cheeks cherried up. ‘What did you call me?’ The speed of his heartbeats would impress a bullet train.

Noah’s face turned into the colour opposite to the pill mentality he followed. He looked around the cafeteria and thanked the laws of nature that everyone was too busy talking to each other to overhear what he said.

‘I didn’t mean… it was an accident. I’ve heard people call popular guys Chad Thundercock, so it just kind of slipped out. It’s just a meme.’

A high-pitched and overly loud laugh came from Chad’s throat, his mind repeatedly telling his cheeks to turn down the heat and said cheeks refusing to listen. His eyebrows raised and pushed themselves together, creating wrinkles on his forehead.

On the other side of the cafeteria, Becky walked up to Stacy’s table, which was full of equally blonde and tan girls. She gestured to the one empty seat at the table.

‘May I sit?’

‘Um, I guess?’ one of the girls responded. ‘Why, though?’

‘I would like to get to know Stacy more.’

The girls at the table went, ‘Oooh!’ Stacy’s face went hot enough and her eyes grew big enough to make the sun jealous. Becky noticed this.

‘I see,’ she said. ‘I shall keep my reasoning between Stacy and me.’ As Becky sat down, Stacy looked away.

Another girl said in a nasal voice, ‘I’ve got to admit, it’s unusual for someone like you to want to be friends with someone like Stacy.’

Becky smiled. ‘Yes, friends. Well, Stacy approached me first.’

Never mind the sun, at this point Wolf-Rayet stars were probably envious of the heat coming from Stacy’s cheeks. The other girls leaned towards her. Becky crossed her arms as if expecting an answer.

‘Well, um, well, uh, I saw a photo of a fangtooth fish on her exercise book in science class,’ Stacy explained.

After a moment of silence came laughter. ‘That’s the reason?’ the nasally voiced girl asked. ‘What the hell is a fangtooth fish? Sounds gross. As if someone like you would like something gross like that! And wait, since when do you take science classes, Stacy? You do realise that’s not compulsory for seniors, right?’

‘Uh, well, it’s a…’ Each word Stacy said went quieter until nothing but her breaths could be heard. Becky gave her a warm smile and the other girls a cold glare.

‘The fangtooth fish is a deep-sea fish,’ she explained. ‘I thought it would be fitting for me to put a deep-sea fish on the cover of a book that encourages me to dive deep into how the world works. It’s a symbol of curiosity and I am glad Stacy noticed it. It may look gross but I still find it more encouraging to look at than a group of pretty girls who belittle their friend’s interests.’

The girls stared at Becky in stunned silence. Breaking the silence, the nasal girl asked, ‘Do you think you’re smarter than us or something?’

Now it was Becky’s turn to stare in silence. After a while she bowed her head and apologised. ‘I shouldn’t let intellectual snobbery take over me. I hope you know that your appearance is unrelated to my view of your intelligence. After all, Stacy is visually appealing and I don’t find her to be particularly unintelligent. I should go.’

As Becky stood up with her tray, so did Stacy, who apologised to the other girls and followed Becky to another table. 

‘I’ve accomplished my mission,’ Becky said with a smile that grew bigger when Stacy raised an eyebrow. ‘I’ve learnt more about you. And in such a short time! You like deep-sea creatures and your friends are a little bitchy.’

‘They’re not bitchy! I swear they’re nice.’

Becky chuckled. ‘Then why did your voice get quieter at the word ‘nice’?’

‘And besides, it’s not deep-sea creatures I like, per se,’ Stacy revealed as she repeatedly stabbed her mash potato with her fork. ‘It’s sea creatures in general.’

‘I’ve got to admit, I’ve never heard of someone getting a crush on someone because of a fangtooth fish. Do their strong jaw muscles make your heart race?’ Becky winked and decided to test Stacy with the next question. ‘Or is it their ability to see in the dark?’

‘They have terrible eyesight, actually. You of all people should know.’

Becky leaned in closer, once again bringing heat to Stacy’s cheeks. ‘Marry me.’

Stacy pushed her head away. ‘Shut up! There are loads of people around. And besides, what made you want to get to know me? I thought you wanted to focus on school.’

It took Becky a while to answer, and during that break she stole a forkful of mashed potato from Stacy’s plate, earning a little whine from her. She laughed before swallowing the mash.

‘I’ve been thinking about it and I realised I’m fine. I’m doing fairly well in school so there’s no need for me to hold off on interpersonal relationships. If you haven’t changed your mind, I’d be happy to go out with you.’

Stacy covered her mouth but the creasing in her eyes told Becky that she was smiling. The blonde girl nodded and the brunette held out her hand.

‘Can I put my number in your phone?’ 

After swapping numbers, the two ate and talked about sea creatures until they had no food left. At that point they chatted about school until the bell rang.

Instead of paying attention in class, Noah scratched his itch by looking at his phone, which finally had more gigs of data. He went on Incels.me and felt his heart drop.

Ropeornope- You look disgusting. You’ve got no chin and your eyebrows are giant bushes. I’d say a 1/10. Find a sub-3 girl and you’ll have a chance. Maybe.

Ricecel- I’d say you’re a 3/10, but your tiny wrists threaten to put that number into the negative. Like, dude, you sure you’re a guy? My dick’s thicker than both of those things combined.

Lookcel404- 2/10. No femoid’s going to go after a deformed chinless dude like you. And why has no one pointed out your eyes? You look like a fucking femoid with them, so your only hope is to go for a pseudo-lesbian or some shit like that.

There were several more but the teacher asked Noah a question so he didn’t look at the rest. When school ended, Chad asked Noah if he could hang out at his place. 

When Noah asked why, Chad responded, ‘I’m curious. I want to see what it looks like.’

‘Am I some kind of zoo animal?’ Noah asked with a sneer, but he ended up leading Chad to his place in his old beat-up car, with Chad driving behind him in his shiny new car.

The wide one-story house stood in the middle of two palm trees whose dark leaves made the creamy walls stand out. The pebbled walkway to the house was lined with punch bowl godetias and California poppies. Between the letterbox and the stone-bordered pond was a grey limestone statue, about the height of the letterbox, of a cat sitting on a pillar. That statue made Chad forget about his initial disappointment upon seeing such a quaint, normal house.

When Noah opened the door, he was greeted by the loud meow of a silver cat with carbon-grey stripes. Chad was about to take in the features of the house’s interior but this kitty was much too distracting.

She rubbed herself against Chad’s legs. Noah chuckled. ‘Even cats like Chads, apparently,’ he said as he picked her up. He grabbed her paw and shook it up and down. ‘This is Mittens. Mom chose the name, so don’t call me a normie.’ Chad lightly tapped the cat’s head. Noah frowned and grabbed Chad’s hand, stroking the soft-furred cat with it. ‘Do it properly. Mittens deserves the best.’  The sudden grin on Noah’s face spread warmth throughout Chad’s heart. 

Noah’s bedroom was a mix of expected and unexpected things. There were anime posters on the walls and figurines in a display cabinet, of course, but there were also model planes in that same cabinet. The bed was covered with a knitted quilt decorated with kittens. Near the door was a large wooden desk with a gaming laptop on it. Next to the laptop was a mirror.

The mirror faced the other way, so Chad turned it and saw a little crack in the corner. Noah stormed up to him, shoved his hand away and put it back.

‘I’ll die if I look into that damn thing again. I’d break it, but it’d make me look even uglier.’

Chad chuckled with a raised eyebrow. ‘What? Who told you you’re ugly?’

Noah sat on the bed, wrapping his fingers around his slender wrists. ‘Haven’t you got eyes? Look at these skinny things! They’re probably smaller than the average dick. I shouldn’t have bothered teaming up with you. I’m ugly as sin, practically deformed.’ He ran his hand up his neck and rested it against his chin. ‘My chin’s weak. Maybe if it was a few inches longer, I’d be able to get any girl interested, but no. I’m stuck with this chin and this overgrown nose and these pimples that make me look like I’ve got the plague. I’m surprised no foid has fainted in horror when looking at me yet.’ When he saw Chad stare at him, he covered his face.

Chad walked up to him and leaned down towards him, grabbing his wrists and dragging them down. Noah flailed but wasn’t strong enough. Chad let go of one of his wrists and took off his glasses, getting a closer look at him. He pushed his bangs away.

‘What are you talking about? You’re…’

There weren’t many pimples on Noah’s face, at least no more than Chad did most of the time. His nose wasn’t overgrown at all despite what he claimed, just slightly Romanesque. He was right about his chin not being huge but he seemed to miss the fact that it made his face look soft and welcoming. 

As Noah bit his medium-sized lips in embarrassment, Chad basked in their sultriness. To him they were the absolute perfect size.

Noah’s thick eyebrows prevented his large round eyes from overwhelming his face, though those eyes were what Chad focused on the most. They were a brilliant shade of peridot and framed by long lashes.

Chad gulped, his eyes making him look like a fish on land. ‘… hot…’

Noah mustered enough strength to push his arms off him and take his glasses back. ‘Thanks, way to make me feel great about wearing glasses. You’re a real charmer, you.’

As he put them back on, he saw that Chad was continuing to gawk at him. ‘Still… hot…’ Chad whispered. ‘Then again, glasses are my…’ He coughed the final word away, straightened his back and walked back to the mirror, picking it up and showing it to him. Once again Noah covered his face and, just as before, Chad pulled his hands away. ‘See? You’re fine. What kind of girl would run away from this?’

Instead of looking at his reflection, he looked up at Chad. As their eyes met they just stared at each other in wide-eyed silence.

Tears built up in Chad’s eyes. He blinked them away and dropped the mirror onto Noah’s lap. He picked up his bag and rushed out of the room.

Even after escaping the house, Chad could feel his heartbeat throughout his entire body. Shivers kept swimming down his skin and his hands became drenched in sweat.

‘Fuck,’ he hissed. ‘Not again.’

[bananachickens]

The Brothers Jones’ Marvellous (Yet Common) Adventures

Chapter 3 : Kilian's first visit to a tavern

(FF.NET , AO3)

It had been two weeks since they first arrived at the Royal Naval College. After Marcus showed them their rooms the brothers met with the rest of the crew. Killian and Liam were surprised to learn that all unmarried officers and Lieutenants shared big houses in order to consolidate the bonds between the crew members. It was the first time Killian had a room of his own and he felt like nothing could destroy his happiness. He had a future to look forward to and he was treated with the respect a human being was entitled to.

Killian could feel something was weighting on his brother : Liam was distant and even though he attributed his new behaviour to his need to prove himself and to get used to their new situation, Killian was still uneasy. He knew however that he needed to let that feeling go,  Liam would tell him what's wrong on his time.

The brothers had just passed their first examination with honors and not only did they prove themselves to be great sailors, but they also proved themselves to be better than all of their shipmates, which had created tension among the crew. Killian and Liam were now midshipman on the Jewel of the Realm, the Royal Navy's best ship and Liam was to take the examination to become Lieutenant as per Captain Howard's request and encouragements later that month, alongside three other midshipmen, Creed, Alfred and Fredrick.    

At the end of the day, the Jewel's crew walked to “The Flying Dutchman”, a tavern not far from the docks where they met with some of the other ships' crew members.

“I don't know if joining the crewmen is a reasonable decision Killian, we need to study, we still have so much to learn !”  Liam said to Killian in front of the tavern, “Don't forget why we are here brother. We are given a chance to improve our lives, to be great men. By studying hard and proving our selves and our value and honor we could someday be Captains in the Royal Navy ! We'd never lack of anything and we wouldn't worry about having enough food in our bellies and a bed in which to sleep !”

The older Jones still felt like they could lose everything they were granted if they did not show great potentials at all times, that's why Killian and Liam isolated themselves from the other crew members until now in order to study and catch up what they missed in class.  

“Liam we need to go out with the crew every now and then. We need to make friends among them or we'll always be outsiders. Besides, you saw how Creed and the Freds acted after the Captain congratulated us, It is of the utmost importance we gain the crew's respect if we are someday to become more than midshipmen” Killian told his brother insistently, “ And to make sure no one would try to harm us without anyone's intervention” he then added lost in memories.  

Liam knew they'll always bare the scars their years in servitude had caused them, not only physical ones but also psychological and emotional ones and he had made it his new mission to make sure his brother now lead as normal and happy a life as he can.

“Don't worry brother, no one will harm us anymore, we're no longer in servitude on a merchant ship, we're officers in King Gregory's Royal Navy. We were commissioned by Captain Howard himself and if anyone harms us then they'd be very severely punished !” Liam stated proudly. He knew his brother was right to some extent but he couldn't bring himself to enjoy some time with everyone at the tavern after what had happened on their previous ship and knowing their situation was still very precarious. “ I guess you could stay for some time, but not too long, you need to study for next week's classes. Maybe we could study ancient Greek together once you're back”

“Alright Liam” Killian said just before quickly entering the tavern before his brother changed his mind.

“Here you are, we were wondering if you'll join us or leave, where did Liam go ?” Marcus asked welcoming Killian to their table.  

“He went back home, he felt he needed to study more to prepare for class, and he's right, I shouldn't stay for too long either I … ” Killian answered before being interrupted by Richards, another member of the crew “ You need to enjoy yourself for once, lift your eyes from your books and socialize my dear friend. Come on ! Sit down ! Your first pint is on me ! Sarah, bring the lad some of your finest ale !”  Richards shouted to a young brunette in her mid twenties before tapping Killian on the back “How old are you lad, 18 ? 19 ?”

“I'm almost 18 lieutenant” Killian answered. He was very excited to be with the rest of the crew. It was the first time he went to a tavern, Liam and him were scarcely allowed to leave their ship while in servitude, and if one was allowed to leave then the other was kept on the ship to ensure his brother's return, that'w shy his eyes were full of stares and awe at the establishment and the life it held. Men and women were walking everywhere, laughing, eating, speaking, singing all together.  

“So young ! You still have your life ahead of you.” Richards said interrupting Killian's thoughts as Sarah brought Killian his ale and asked him “Would you like something else officer ?  I make amazing apple pies” Killian stared at Sarah and blushed before she added “ it's on the house”.  

Watching the interaction closely, Marcus, Richards and the other three crew embers sitting at the table shared a look before laughing at them. “Are our apple pies also on the house or only Killian's ?” Richards asked winking at Marcus.

“No this applies only to our new costumers Richards”

“I don't remember ever being given any free apple pie,  Maybe it's special treatment for new blue-eyed costumers ?” Joked one of the officers, “I was never offered any either Jared ” joked Richards. Sarah laughed without diverting her eyes from Killian who was now blushing even more.

“Well then maybe I'll have some of it then, thank you” Killian smiled back at her before scratching his now red ear as Jared and Richards wolf whistled. “I'll bring it to you” Sarah left with a blush and a smile on her face.

“So handsome yet so innocent” Jared said jokingly, “I've never seen Sarah this flirty with costumers, I'm pretty sure she likes you” He added looking at his friends.

Panicked, Killian quickly answered “Well I'm not ready for marriage yet, I have just been accepted in the Academy, I have to study and pass my examinations and save money to buy a house and I'm not ready yet to start a family”, before realizing his shipmates were once again laughing at him.

“I doubt Sarah is thinking that far ahead lad, she probably just wants you for the night lad” Richards winked at him with a saucy smile. “But be careful lad, although she's not an easy lady to win the favors of, she's not innocent either. Always remember to use protection”

“Protection from what ? What does she want me for ?” The blue-eyed Jones said before his mates laughed once more. Feeling embarrassed, Killian tried nervously to change the subject by having a bit of his apple pie, which made the table laugh even harder. “This apple pie is very good, I haven't had apple pie for so long, but this one is very moist and juicy and I think I'll have some more of this pie next time”

“Please Killian, stop, we need to breath” Jared painfully said, red-faced and teary-eyed from laughter.

Killian ate his pie quickly intending on leaving after finishing it.

“It seems young Jones here is much more innocent than we thought he was !” Hobbs asked and was met with a confused look.

“What do you mean ?”

“You really ignore what Sarah wants from you ?” asked Hobbs.

“Get married, have children ? ” Killian answered naively. Looking at his deadpan shipmates, Killian started regretting not listening to his brother earlier, he shouldn't have came to the tavern since he was only met with embarrassment after another.

“She wants to bed you lad” Richards said, then asked “have you ever been with a woman before ?”

“No” Killian replied blushing severely “ And I wouldn't exactly know what is exactly expected of me” He looked in his pint of ale hoping his companions would change the subject, or for a disappearing potion, whichever acted faster and most efficiently.

A few silent moment passed before Richard interrupted the moment “Well lad, sit tight, we have so much to tell you”. He then asked for more ale for everyone on the table “We're going to need this” before the crewmen filled in the blanks and shared some of their stories.

***

An hour later

“This doesn't sound pleasurable at all” Killian commented, looking sickly and pale.

“I can't believe no one ever told you about that before, common seamen are rather known for their crudeness” Jared said as he was finishing his third ale of the night.

“Liam and I never mingled with the crew of the ships we were on, either because they disliked us or because Liam thought they were bad influence on us” Killian said still under shock.

He had heard crude terms and stories here and there during his 7 years in servitude but no one had ever explained them to him or clarified the subject for him. He ignored why he often woke up with an odd sensations or dirty. He never dared asking his brother since he always felt ashamed of his body's reactions but now he wondered if his brother would have been able to answer his questions.

“Killian you're almost 18, maybe it's time for you to make your own decisions. You don't always need your brother's permission to act upon your desires, any of them” Hobbs advised him gravely. “And believe us, it is very pleasurable, it is the most amazing sensation you'll ever feel in your life”.

Killian's face started regaining colour again as the conversation flowed to other subjects and more ale was drank. Killian was careful not to drink too much since he promised his brother never to be in a state of unconsciousness anymore but after understanding what Sarah wanted from him and seeing her sultry gazes Killian felt like he needed the ale.

After finishing his pint, Killian got up to fetch another one from the counter and check the uncharacteristically calm Marcus.

“You have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen” Sarah said dragging him to an obscure and ill-lit corner of the tavern. Surprised, Killian started to feel very warm, his heart beating much faster than it had ever before and it only increased at the proximity of her body. “Thank you” he answered blushing yet unable to divert his eyes from her lips. Sarah smiled, she knew the effect she had on most men but it always flattered her to see a man this spellbound and flustered.

She went closer to him, drawing him to her as her lips touched his. Killian tensed a couple of seconds at the sensation of her lips on his. As he relaxed and closed his eyes, Sarah started to move her lips. Killian tried to follow her movements, finding it hard at first before finally synchronizing with her. The kiss grow more passionate and Killian got lost in the new feeling. As they separated to breath, Sarah said “ maybe we should go up stairs, we can easily get caught here” Killian answered with an eager nod. Sarah and Killian existed the corner separately as not to draw unnecessary attention on themselves.  

“KILLIAN, here you are”

Killian turned quickly, spotting his brother through the crowd. “Liam ? What are you doing here ? You said you weren't coming !” he said distraught and panicked at the sight of his brother.

“I was worried about you, you were supposed to come back to study Greek with me, remember ? I came to make sure you were fine and to bring you back home”

“I'm fine brother, I might stay for longer though, you can go back home I won't be long” Killian said hurriedly before glancing quickly at Sarah who was now standing impatiently near the stairs waiting for him.

“Killian, I know we haven't lead very pleasant lives so far, we never had friends to talk to, money to  go out with or freedom to go and do what we please, but we're here to make our lives better and improve our stations, to make sure we have all of that permanently and the only way is to study hard and show our value and worth to the Captain and the Admiralty !” Liam said gravely to his brother, genuinely concerned about their future.

Killian sighted, “Alright brother, I'll come with you.”

After bidding everyone goodnight, Killian spared Sarah one last look for the night before following Liam outside.  

***

Later that night

A blond woman straddled Killian, she was beautiful and her loving green eyes caught his blue ones. Killian got in them and the sensations his body was experiencing as the woman rose and fell on top of him, engulfing him in her tight sheath, her face contorting in pleasure. He felt amazing, and as the blond mermaid leaned in to kiss him, her breast and long hair tickling his chest Killian  woke up sticky and dirty. He thought he finally understood what the crew was talking bout.

[kassandra-lorelei]

Hi Hannah :) I want to ask you for the "Just once" prompt - C.C. and Niles. I love your writing!

Hey there, Anon! Thank you so much!

@holomoriarty and @missbabcocks1

“Come on, you guys!” Fran cried out cheerfully as she stopped and spun around to face them. “We’ll be leavin’ you behind if ya don’t pick up the pace!”It was easy enough for her to say, Niles couldn’t help but think to himself. She wasn’t carrying anything. Well, apart from one tiny bottle of water, but the rest of the family were carrying those, too. He was carrying all the food and possible supplies that they could need for a day of hiking, and he was starting to wonder where all these so-called bears were, and if one might be persuaded into killing him so he didn’t have to finish this camping holiday that Mr Sheffield had insisted that the family try out. Maxwell had said that it would do them a world of good to get outdoors, and to see the land that they called their home.The only thing they’d ‘gotten’ so far were insect bites, hungry when no one had managed to catch a fish for dinner at the lake they’d made camp by, and an extremely near miss with a patch of poison ivy.And speaking of irritants, the one hiking alongside him and occasionally making snide comments wasn’t proving so much fun, either. He didn’t know why Mr Sheffield had invited Miss Babcock along, and he’d said as much. Holidays were supposed to be about getting away from all that was horrible and depressing about day-to-day life, not bringing it along with you!“We’ll be right along, Mrs Sheffield,” Niles called out to the former nanny, who grinned and sped off to catch up with her husband and children. For someone who spent most of her down time not doing much, the woman seemed oddly well-prepared for something like this.The only thing the butler could conclude was that she must have really and truly been enjoying herself to make the effort, from all the activities right down to the long pants, long-sleeved shirt, and boots that she wore.He just wanted to stop and rest. He didn’t care if they were near the camp or not. When they got back, everyone would probably want him to start on dinner, anyway.And, just to add to his aggravation, his hiking partner spoke up again.“Don’t slow down,” she said, putting a hand on the back of the ginormous backpack he had slung over him and pushing as much as her strength would allow (considering they’d been on the move practically all day and exhaustion was setting in). “The last thing the group needs is the pack mule falling behind!”He rolled his eyes at her, “Well, maybe the mule wouldn’t be so far behind if some of the load was carried by the other ass the group brought along.”C.C. scowled at him before picking up her pace, as though she were going to move away and try to catch up with the others, “Well, I could have taken some of the load if I’d been asked nicely, but seeing as you’re playing it that way-”A sudden desperation came over him. He thought maybe it was the idea that if she caught up with the others, he’d have to finish the hike alone, and for some reason, that didn’t sit well with him. He grabbed at her forearm, holding her in place.“Miss Babcock, wait!”They both scraped to a halt on the dirt, and she gave him an unimpressed look. He knew his expression in return was sheepish.“Maybe I was a bit hasty in the way I spoke,” he said quickly. “The heat of the day and all the walking-”It was the producer’s turn to roll her eyes, “Alright, fine; I’ll let it slide just this once. And to show you I mean it, I’ll take something out of the backpack as well.”Something like relief found its way into Niles’ chest, and he slipped the pack off and placed it in front of them so that she could get into it.His relief turned to disappointment and then to annoyance when she opened it up, took a single cereal bar from one of the pockets, and began to eat it.She stopped mid-chew as he stared at her, and shrugged, “What? I never said how big the something would be!”She chuckled in a very pleased manner to herself as he loaded the bag back onto his back, feeling something almost give way as he did. They continued to march along, him grumbling about how he hoped a wasp would land on her cereal bar, and her continuing to make jokes about him hurrying up, including offering to tie a carrot to a piece of string on the end of a stick and then hold it in front of him for the remainder of the journey.Their bickering distracted them. They soon couldn’t see the Sheffields at all.Neither of them cared, until they came to a fork in the path, neither having seen which way the family had gone.They looked from left to right, and then turned to each other.“What do we do now?” C.C. asked. “Which way did they go?”“I don’t know,” Niles replied, more fed up than ever. Especially as the trail map he had in his hands, having dived into the bag to retrieve it, didn’t seem to mention this particular divide. “The map doesn’t make a note of this…”The map was suddenly swiped from his hands, and he turned to her with a cry of protest. C.C. ignored him, peering at the map. She studied it for what seemed to be quite a while, looking up and around occasionally before returning to the map. And then all of a sudden, she yelled out in a rage and tore it to shreds!Niles tried to stop her, but it was in vain, “What on Earth are you doing?! We need that!”“It’s useless!” came the reply. “Stupid piece of paper can’t even tell us where we are!”She glared at him, and for some reason, the butler felt a certain amount of indignation rise up in his chest. He wondered why – what he was being prepared for.“This is your fault!” she hissed.Ah. There it was.He pointed at his own chest, and then at her, “My fault? If you hadn’t pretended to go anywhere-”“Well, congratulations, Hazel, I can’t go anywhere now!” she shouted back. “I can’t even pretend! If I did, I’d probably get lost out in the wilderness somewhere!”“Well, animals should be able to run free, so be my guest!” he retorted angrily, the adrenaline from their arguing leaving him slightly winded. “Just once, I would have liked it if something in my life didn’t go wrong. Just once! So if that means you going out on your own, then go. Enjoy the wildlife; it might accept you back as one of its own.”He settled himself down on a nearby rock, and the producer slumped on the ground, clearly exhausted from the events of the day. And more than a little upset, too, which the butler actually felt guilty about. He knew she just wanted to rest, and they were both taking their frustrations of getting lost out on each other. But it was getting dark by this stage, and their arguing was getting them nowhere, really. They had to try and be practical about it, if they expected to either get back, or at least get comfortable.“Look, Miss Babcock, I’m sorry,” he said, actually being completely serious. If they were going to do this, they needed to be a team. “I shouldn’t have said what I said-”“Oh, you think?” she spat, folding her arms. He chose to ignore her sarcasm. They had to come to an agreement.He sighed, and tried to continue, “But I really do think that, right now, we should try and work together to get back to the others. Probably not whilst it’s getting dark, but tomorrow morning, as soon as it’s light enough to see.”C.C. seemed to consider this, her face only once or twice twitching like she was considering asking if there was a catch.But, eventually, she nodded.“Alright,” she conceded. “Where do we start?”They at long last decided on making camp. They didn’t have a lot to go by in that regard, considering all the tents and sleeping bags were back at the actual camp. What they actually ended up with was a patch of flat ground underneath some bushes, with some of the coats that had been stuffed in the backpack stretched out on the ground to serve as sleeping mats. Niles had wanted to build a fire, and had asked for C.C.’s lighter, but she’d regrettably informed him that she was going through one of her non-smoking phases, and as such had thrown all of hers out. They ate some of the provisions from the backpack, too; jerked beef and Trail Mix. It wasn’t exactly a gourmet meal, he reminded her, but it was better than going without.With another sigh, he slumped back against his side of the coats, resting his head on the backpack. He tried, hard, not to get too close to C.C. – they had agreed that for one night, they’d agree to share the backpack like a makeshift pillow without fighting over it. But the night was going to get cold, and he couldn’t help but wonder if they should have a truce for some other things, too, simply so neither of them froze to death in the night.Well, that might have been a bit dramatic. But they could certainly catch something bad, if they weren’t warm.The only problem was, he didn’t know how to bring it up.“Miss Babcock,” he finally managed to say. “Are…are you feeling warm enough?”C.C. shifted, and stared at him awkwardly, “…What do you mean?”He deadpanned, “I think the question “are you feeling warm enough” is simple enough without needing further clarification.”Silence, and then C.C. scoffed.“Oh, please; I’m a fully-grown woman, Hazel!” she turned over to face away from him. “I am perfectly capable of surviving one night without needing you to wrap your arms around me like I’m some sort of a-”She was interrupted by a loud noise, like some ferocious animal, somewhere off in the forest. C.C. yelped, and turned over again, throwing her arms around Niles and clutching him tight.“Yo-you don’t think that…whatever that was, is coming this way, do you?” she sounded terrified, and was trembling. “What do you think it is? A wolf? A bear?!”Niles almost didn’t know what to do – it was Miss Babcock, for Heaven’s sake! But she seemed so scared; fear was probably the reason she’d lashed out earlier, too. She didn’t know what to do, so all she could think to do was yell.And now she was holding him, and wanting his comfort…it was, in some ways, his fault that they were stuck like this. If she wanted him to help her through it, it really was the least he could do. It felt a lot deeper than a temporary truce, truth be told.So, he put his arms around her, and brought her in closer, “If it’s a wolf, and if it smells us, it will stick clear of us.”C.C. had pressed her face into his shoulder, so her words were muffled, “And if it’s a bear?”He didn’t fully know what he would do if it was a bear. But she needed the reassurance.“Then I’ll fight it off,” he declared.He had closed his eyes to try and go to sleep, but he felt a silent rumble coming from Miss Babcock, and when he opened his eyes and pulled away, he realised she was laughing.He quirked an eyebrow, “What’s so funny?”“You…offering to fight a bear…” C.C. snickered.Niles looked unimpressed, “Well, forgive me for trying to make you feel better!”C.C. quelled her laughter, waving a hand and shaking her head a little as she calmed down, “No, no, I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have made fun of your oh-so noble gesture!”The smile slipped away from her face, and she sighed.“Especially not as I ripped up the map, and now you’re stuck out here with me.”He gave a vague shrug, and hugged her, “You were frustrated. And besides, it wasn’t like the map was a very good one, anyway. We’ll find our way back tomorrow, I promise. And if any animals come in the night, don’t worry. Between the two of us, we’ll make sure we’re both alright.”She appeared to study him for a while, her features no longer denoting a woman who was afraid. She looked quite calm and settled, and she slipped one hand from around his neck to cup his cheek.What happened next shocked him more than her ripping up the map, but for a different reason; she kissed him, deeply and passionately. He could do nothing except kiss her back, pulling her flush against him. He didn’t know if it was the animal instinct surfacing due to their environment, or something far greater than that, but he was glad of it. There was nothing he wanted more than to be able to continue the feeling, for as long as possible. For forever, if that was allowed.But they had to pull away for air at some stage, and she rested her forehead against his, swallowing, “Uh…sorry, I don’t know where that came from…”He shook his head minutely, so that their noses rubbed together a little, “It doesn’t matter where it came from. It’s here now.”She appeared to think about it, and pecked him on the lips again, “Maybe you’re right. Besides, I’d rather not have a long, heartfelt talk in the middle of the forest when we should be resting up for tomorrow.”She was right. They had a long day of retracing their steps ahead of them, and it was best they got some sleep.“Indeed,” he agreed, and returned her kiss with one of his own. “Goodnight.”“Goodnight,” came the tired reply as he closed his eyes and drifted off.They were up as soon as it was light enough, and after a little more Trail Mix for breakfast, they packed up their makeshift camp and headed back in the direction they had come. They soon stumbled upon their shredded map, and after Niles again reassured C.C. that it wasn’t her fault, they decided to try actually taking one of the paths – the one on the right, to be precise. Niles thought he could make out a glint of sunlight on water that way. A glint he missed yesterday because the sun was too low at that stage to see it!So, taking C.C.’s hand, he pulled her along down the path. Now the night was over and the sun was rising, the woods didn’t seem so frightening. They started to remember familiar landmarks near the camp the family had made, and it wasn’t long before they reached a very welcoming clearing near the edge of the lake…And they were both immediately tackled by a loud, sobbing, brunette presence, who claimed she thought they’d gone off and gotten eaten by a bear or something…They exchanged amused glances as the family came to greet them, each one claiming how relieved they were, and how they’d been looking for them for hours afterwards. They were pulled to some chairs around the campfire, and made to eat something from the leftovers the family had had the night before. They sat together for the rest of the day, not bothered to move very much, and none of the family made them. Whatever happened between them the night before had obviously been significant, and they weren’t going to ruin it, if it meant the two were quiet.And they were quiet. They were worn out, and they were planning on spending the rest of that day getting their energy back.They were going to need it – they were still on this trip, after all.And it would come in especially useful, seeing as back on their walk, Niles had suggested that they do a little more overnight camping together.C.C. hadn’t minded that idea at all, and suggested he came by her tent when everyone else was asleep. He could protect her from any more bears, or other strange noises in the night.Niles knew that the only things making any noise would be them.

[jawsinspace]

Fur Squared 2017

With all of the hiking out of the way I was now set to drive straight to the convention hotel for about 2.5 hours with not stops inbetween. I was going to arrive at 5:30PM EST (4:30 local) which was 1/2 hour sooner than I anticipated, no big deal there. Traffic through Chicago was somehow pleasant so I wasn’t  going to have any unexpected delays either, but my god the tolls. I remember when 1 roll of quarters could get you to Wisconsin from Michigan & back, but now you need one roll of quarters just to get to Wisconsin so that kinda pissed me off. When I was about 30 minutes away from the convention hotel the weather was getting quite bad & it even started raining, the construction work on the highways right around the hotel made things rather stressful too. Still I was able to got to the hotel safely & I even got a good parking space near the door. For the next 1.5 hours I just wandered around the hotel learning the layout & figuring out where things were going to be. One of my roommates at the hotel, Stephanie "Infierna" Sendelbach , was out eating food & buying some supply's for her time as an artist in the Dealer’s Den for the weekend so I couldn’t get into the room even if I had wanted to. At 6:00PM CST Registration was supposed to open, so I got in line. Unfortunately due to some technical errors the line didn’t move at all for an hour, but since I didn’t have anything else to do I stayed in line until the problems were sorted out. After getting my con badge I headed over to the hotel bar & got myself a delicious burger & some Sprecher’s Rootbeer, a local soda that is very tasty. By 7:30 I was very tired, by this time I had been up for 16.5 hours coming off only 4 hours of sleep. Infierna had made it back to the hotel room by then so I headed up with my bags & took a shower, I tried to stay up for a bit longer to talk, but it wasn’t happening, I fell asleep shortly after that shower.

I slept for a very long time that night, I vaguely recall being woken up every so often by some lightning & thunder though. I think I eventually got out of bed around 10:00AM CST, at which point me & Infierna headed down to get some free breakfast. They foolishly put out a bowl of watermelon which I grabbed about half of along with some bacon, potatoes, & scrambled eggs. Opening Ceremonies started at noon, after which  Infierna headed to her dealers table & I went to several panels one right after another. At 1:00PM I went to Foxes Meet & Greet, where me and 4 other foxes sat around and just chatted with each other about various things, it was a nice way to get to know a few people. After that at 2:00 I attended Fur Squared Stars & Celebrities where the guests of honor came on stage & they answered a bunch of random questions. Finally at  3:00 I attended nerds with tails, where a bunch of furry nerds gathered to talk about various nerdy things like comic book movies & TV shows. I took a break from panels at 4:00 and wandered around the Artist Alley & Dealer’s Den for a couple hours. I did end up buying a new set of wrist sleeves with some claws from Pocket Wolf for one of my fursonas Icy Fox. The Dealer’s Den closed at 6:00 at which point me & Infierna headed to the hotel bar for some more delicious burgers to eat along with one of her artist friends GoldenDruid. Since there were no more panels that I wanted to attend on Friday night I headed back up to the hotel room to relax for a bit, this didn’t last for too long though as Infierna invited me to join her, Razz, & Odie down in the hotel pool. We all spent about an hour in the pool swimming & throwing a volley ball around. The pool was very nice, they kept the temperature at nearly hot tub levels of warmth. I was done for the night after this & just surfed the web until out other 2 roommates, Tiberius & Kanza, arrived at the room around midnight at which point I turned in for the night.

On Saturday things started off nice and early when Tiberius, Kanza, Infierna, & myself all headed down for another free breakfast at 9:00AM. This time though they didn’t put out a bowl of watermelon :( Once we ate breakfast we went our separate ways. I decided to attend Military Furs Meet & Greet at 10:00AM, this was a fun panel where I got to talk with some other furs about our experiences, for better or worse, in the military. I returned to the Dealer’s Den after that panel to commission a full body badge from Twinning Tree Creations for my other fursona Winter the Deer. At 12:30PM I headed over to the main events hall after having suited up as Winter for the fursuit parade, which lasted until about 1:30. I made it to Match Game at 2:00 & had a good time there. At 3:30 Charity Cards Against Humanity started up & that was an absolute blast, over $400 was raised for the charity at this event. One of the more informative panels I attended started immediately after Cards Against Humanity, the panel was Home Brewing & I learned lots of interesting facts about how to make your own beer & other alcoholic drinks right at home. After this I returned to the Dealer’s Den to meet Tiberius, Kanza, & Infierna for dinner. Instead of dinner at the hotel we drove over to Mitchell's Fish Market for some seafood. I ordered the Mahi Mahi. Tiberius & Kanza ordered some Calamari & Oysters as appetizers which they shared with us, I love Calamari, but this was the first time I ever ate oysters, & I must say it was pretty good. Pandaroohoo joined out table to talk for a little bit while we waited on our main course, leaving to join some other friends when our food did arrive. Again I was adventurous when I ordered the Mahi Mahi as I had never eaten it before, it turned out to be delicious, but really the only reason I ordered it in the first place was so I could say Mahi Mahi a whole bunch of times :D We all returned to the hotel room after dinner, where I had several large shots of mango infused vodka. Then at 10:00 me & Infierna got into our fursuits & wandered around the hotel. I don’t remember too much that happened after that except I don’t think I fell asleep until 2:00AM on Sunday :D

Some how after that long Saturday night Sunday started off bright & early with everyone making it down to breakfast around 9:00AM, again there was no bowl of watermelon :( At 10:00AM I made my way over to the What’s Your Next Con? panel, it’s unfortunate that Motor City Furry Con & Furry Weekend Atlanta both fall on the same weekend this year, it seems like there is an even spit as to who will be going to these cons, though sadly most of my friends will be in Atlanta :( My favorite panel of the trip was The Olden Days - History of the Furry Fandom. That panel started at 11:00AM and was run by Uncle Kage, I love history & I found this panel to be very informative & interesting. Being run by Uncle Kage most of the history wasn’t related to the whole furry fandom, but mostly just to Anthrocon, but still it was very good nonetheless. At 1:00PM I made my way over to the charity auction, which is one of my favorite convention events, I wasn’t able to win anything here as everything went for pretty outrageous prices, I believe that over $4,000 was raised for charity at this event alone. The last panel I attended at the convention was the Closing Ceremonies, they started at 4:00 I stayed for as long as I could but after they had dragged on til 5:30 with no end in sight I had to leave & take the long drive back home to Michigan. The drive back home was far more unpleasant than the drive to the convention, much more of the usual stop & go traffic typical of Chicago, also I took the wrong (more expensive) toll way. I ended up running out of money so I had to get out of my car to pick up all the quarters that people drop at those toll booths, fuck Chicago & their shitty ass toll roads. I made it back home at 10:30PM EST & immediately went to bed as I had to be to work by 5:30AM the next morning.

Fur Squared ended up being a very fun convention where I got to meet & hang out with some pretty cool people & attend some great panels. I would like to visit this one again in the future, but I’ve got to figure out how to get there without going through those damned toll roads.

[bilienski]

Knotting but Pizza. (too cheesy?)

Read on AO3 rating: mature wordcount: 2163 summary: Stiles is curious about absolutely knothing

Stiles was an issue he really didn’t need in his life. Stiles was loud and nosy and too smart for his own good. Stiles could be kind of cute and interesting and his lips were-. Stiles was annoying and could never sit still for a second. Stiles had no self-preservation whatsoever and no boundaries. Stiles was a pain in the ass and he should really learn to not get on Derek’s nerves all the time, because if he barged in on a fight with that stupid bat one more time, Derek was going to kill him. If Stiles made one more joke that involved putting a werewolf on a leash, Derek was going to tie him up to a tree and leave him to starve to death. And god forbid, if Stiles ever asked him about werewolfsex ever again, Derek was going to tie him up and give him a first-hand experience that would blow his mind so much that he could never ever ask such stupid questions again.

And yes, that was a promise.

A promise he made to himself, though. He didn’t tell Stiles quite as much. He kept the threat to the bare necessity, a simple but solid “I’m going to rip your throat out” should do it… or so he thought.

To be fair, it worked for a while, the “while” just didn’t last that long. Stiles had behaved for almost 3 whole weeks till he started to get that curious look in his eyes, till he started to do the little nervous legbounces whenever he was sitting anywhere near Derek. 3 weeks of good behaviour, but then Stiles got that air of impatience over him and together with the curiosity, Derek knew that it wasn’t going to be long till Stiles broke down.

The stage of him just being impatient and giving all the werewolves these incredibly annoying quizzical looks lasted another 2 weeks. And that was new. Usually Stiles lasted about a day before he just spilled whatever it was that was on his mind. But not this time. 14 days, so it must have been something big.

Derek was so scared of whatever it may be that was bothering Stiles, he almost didn’t invite him to the next pack meeting. It took Scott’s and Isaac’s combined begging looks – Derek refused to describe it as “puppy eyes” – to make him cave and shoot Stiles a text as well. Derek was perfectly aware that Isaac wasn’t begging for Stiles, Isaac couldn’t care less about the annoying little shit, which probably meant that whatever Stiles was so nervous about asking, Isaac wanted to know as well, or at least see Stiles’ humiliation. Which in turn meant that Isaac and Scott already knew about whatever it was the human had got stuck in his head this time. So they didn’t know the answer, maybe Derek wouldn’t know it either, maybe he would be able to get away from Stiles’ invasive interview with his mental health intact.

Right now, Derek was even more confused. They’d agreed to meet up at his loft at 7 in the evening. Everyone was there already except for Stiles, who had never been late before. So the alpha found himself nervously glancing at the door every couple of seconds even though he knew he would hear the ridiculous noise of that deadbeat jeep from a mile away.

Erica was currently trying to get everyone into watching this new show she was obsessed about because it should teach all of them ignorant guys something about a well-written female lead character, since they couldn’t have possibly have encountered one of those before.

“If Stiles were here he’d have convinced all of you in seconds. He’s probably seen every episode of Jessica Jones twice already. As should you! At least Stiles can appreciate good television.” Two seconds later, the rumbling of Stiles’ jeep came in through the open window.

“Speaking of the devil,” Isaac said with this ridiculous glint in his eyes which earned him a shove from Scott. Derek had trouble keeping his pokerface in check, only Stiles could ever do that to him, egg him on so much that he had to actively think about not showing anything on his face.

The sound of Stiles’ hurried and stumbling footsteps on the stairs brought with them the scent of food. Since when did Stiles bring food to pack meetings? He’s usually the first one to remind Derek of his duties as the alpha of the pack.

Derek was about ready to jump from the couch and drag Stiles in if he took one more deep breath in front of that closed door. And he apparently wasn’t the only one as Scott sighed and let his head fall in his hands.

“Hey everyone! I come carrying the gift of pizza!” He said as he raised the pizza boxes in greeting.

“I thought the food was my job?” Derek snapped.

“It is, but you always mess up the order somehow. So I figured I’d give it a shot. Don’t worry, I kept the receipt, you can pay me back.”

“You said it was a gift.” He grumbled back, but he already knew that there was no point in arguing with Stiles.

“Yes, it is a gift. Part of a gift exchange. I give you pizza, you give me money. Amazing how it all works out, isn’t it?” Stiles said cockily as he started to get the pizza boxes out of the bag.

Derek thought that after all these packnights Stiles would’ve known his order by now, but apparently not. “What’s this?” He didn’t even know why he bothered to ask. He figured it was payback after messing Stiles’ order up each and every time.

“Oh, yeah, I got you something extra special to make up for the fact they didn’t have your usual.” You didn’t have to be a werewolf to notice that was a blatant lie. Though Derek didn’t necessarily mind the blush on Stiles’ cheeks.

“Are you trying to tell me they didn’t have a pepperoni pizza?”

“I’m not trying to tell you that, I’m pretty sure that was the exact message that just left my mouth very successfully.”

Scott butted in proudly: “To do or not to do, there is no such thing as try.”

“Oh for the love of god. Seriously Scott? It’s bad enough you still haven’t watched the movies, but can you please stop murdering the quotes?”

“Stiles, what the fuck is this? It barely even looks like a pizza!”

“What are you talking about? It’s round and it has cheese on top and it looks delicious. How does that not look like a pizza?” Derek glared in response and decided it was best to avoid this conversation before he lost his patience. So he got up to get himself a drink, to hell if he was bringing Stiles anything.

When he came back, sipping from his coke, Stiles was still standing next to the couch with his thinking face on.

“Okay, fine. Do you want to switch? You get my Meatlovers and I’ll take your knot.” He nearly spat out his drink.

“You’ll take my whatnow?”

“Your knot. It’s a garlic knot pizza.” The little shit knew exactly what he was saying.

“Yeah, let’s switch, it’s been a while since I’ve had a meatlover anyway.” Stiles squinted at him, trying to determine if that was a pun or not.

“Good. I love to try new things. Experimenting and stuff.”

“Yeah, I bet you do.” As a werewolf of 23, you’d think he’d know at what volume to speak so it wouldn’t be audible to humans.

“Oh yeah, and why’s that?” Stiles replied while Isaac was chuckling and Scott looked like he wanted to disappear.

“I thought you wanted to go study forensics or something? Doesn’t that involve experiments and stuff?”

“Right.” Stiles rolled his eyes as he finally went to sit down next to Erica. They started talking about that show she mentioned earlier and of course Erica had been right. In under 5 minutes, Stiles had basically convinced everyone to at least give it a try.

Derek had to admit it did seem like a good tv-show. “David Tennant?” he was just trying to be a good alpha and join in in the conversation.

“Yeah, he played doctor who for a bit.”

“I know, he’s my favourite doctor. So Scott, how is the studyi-“

“No, no, no, hold up for a second there. Not only do you - the grumpy werewolf with a caveman vibe who we all presumed lived under a rock for years – watch doctor who, but you also have a favourite doctor?”

“Yes I watch doctor who, it’s something Cora and I used to do together. And when you watch that show you can’t help but get a favourite doctor.”

“You do not disappoint. Pun intended.” Stiles winked and shoved one of the garlic knots in his mouth.

“Look Scott, I have the entire knot in my mouth!” it was going to be a long night….

Stiles made a point of each ball he ate, always making sure Derek noticed it. And for whatever reason, he decided to drink his coke with a straw. He was driving Derek crazy and the little fucker knew it.

 It wasn’t long before the conversation died down a bit and they all just decided to watch some baseball game that was on. Derek was just getting up to clean up his now empty pizza box when Stiles struck again.

“You got that entire thing in you huh, big guy? I guess you are more of a meatlover than I thought.” Derek was starting to think that Stiles had prepared each and every pun during the weeks leading up to this. “Do you want to wolf down the rest of this? Because I am stuffed so full of knots I seriously don’t think I can get another crumb of that pizza in me.” Derek had had about enough of this situation.

“Stiles, if there’s something you need to say, just spit it out.”

“Spit it out? I thought you’d like me to swallow… my words and never speak again.” The shithead thought he was being so clever. It only took one glare to make him shut up for half an hour again. Well, at least he didn’t make any innuendos for those 30 minutes.

“Okay, I can’t take it anymore. Derek for the love of god, please tell me. Can werewolves pop a knot or not?” To be honest, Derek was quite surprised Stiles finally grew the balls to ask him directly instead of just dancing around it all night.

“We can knot.” He replied, knowing full well what that sounded like.

“Are you serious? Oh my god how does that even wor- wait… can you or can’t you? Did you say “knot” or “not”?”

“For fuck’s sake, Stiles, why do you even want to know this? Do you have the ambition to become a werewolf?” Scott was clearly even more uncomfortable than Derek was. And his eyes were practically begging the world to stop this madness, and probably begging Derek to not encourage his best friend.

“Oh hell no, I would not be able to put up with the facial hair just being there when I’m all werewolf-y. That would just be sad. Doesn’t mean I don’t have any ambitions concerning werewolves. Maybe one day I may date a werewolf. Maybe one day I’ll need to be prepared for sexy times with a werewolf.”

For the first time that night Boyd butted in on the ridiculous conversation Stiles had been pushing for. “Don’t make this more confusing than it needs to be, Stiles. Stop saying “werewolf” when you mean Derek.”

“Oy! I never sai-“

“Oh get knotted, Stiles!” Erica snapped, clearly having enough from the whole beating around the bush act.

“Is this why you didn’t want to answer my questions? Just because you want me to be humiliated in front of the guy you think I have a crush on – which is none of your business by the way – because oh my god that is just mean and cruel and all kinds of wrong. I thought we were friends!”

“We are friends! That doesn’t mean you need to know everything about our sex lives!” Derek could tell from Scott’s face that this had been going on for a long time.

“That’s not fair! You know everything about mine.” Stiles whined.

“Because you don’t have one, Stiles!”

“Low blow, bro… not cool. You know I would totally tell you everything.” As annoying as Stiles could be, he could also be ridiculously cute.

“I could give you a story or two to tell.” Stiles jaw dropped, as did Scott’s. Isaac fell on the floor laughing and Boyd and Erica shared a knowing smirk.

The first time Derek rendered Stiles speechless was when he spat out that ridiculous line, the second time was when he swallowed.

[timothyakoonce]

Transcript of Convert Your Ideas and Messages Into Memorable Narratives

Transcript of Convert Your Ideas and Messages Into Memorable Narratives written by John Jantsch read more at Duct Tape Marketing

Transcript provided by Verbatim Transcription Services

Back to Podcast

Transcript

John Jantsch: Can a little deck of cards help you tell better stories? I think it can. We’re going to talk to Ron Ploof, creator of “StoryHow Pitch Deck”. Check it out.

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Duct Tape Marketing Podcast. This is John Jantsch and my guest today is Ron Ploof. He is author, speaker, consultant and I suspect he will also want me to say storyteller. He is a creator of the StoryHow Pitch Deck, a deck of playing cards that helps business people convert their ideas, messages and presentations into memorable narratives. So Ron thanks for joining.

Ron Ploof: You’re welcome, thank you for having me on.

John Jantsch: I’ve been writing about storytelling in business for at least 15 years. But man, is it hot all of a sudden. What you suppose it is?

Ron Ploof: I think there are a lot of subjects that become hot and as we’re starting to see more and more information, more and more say content marketing that people are trying to figure out a way to get their messages to stick and that I think that they’re starting to turn away from all of these new tools and all of these new digital mediums, if you will. And maybe getting back to some basics, how do humans communicate? Humans communicate through story.

John Jantsch: Yeah, I think the human word is, as you said, with the tools and the digital experience. I think people are craving the human experience maybe more than ever. There’s a great book called “Sapiens” that is pretty popular. Maybe you’ve heard of it but essentially kind of follows the whole your path of how human beings as we know them came to be and one of things I found really interesting was  that you know that we were always the highest on the food chain, meaning humans. I mean, a lot of animals out there that hunted and ate us and our ability to tell stories and to craft a story that made people dream about a shared vision that I couldn’t see was really the difference. I think that that probably goes as much to kind of the anthropologic nature of storytelling.

Ron Ploof: Absolutely. It’s really popular for people to say that hey, storytelling is wired into our DNA and things like that. I’ve been real interested in digging into and finding out how? One of my favorite writers and friend is I Kendall Haven and if you’ve read any of candles stuff. But he actually has done brain research work he’s put leads on people’s heads and did EEG ratings of people as they were listening to stories. And some great research but what’s really interesting in there is he said that one of its conclusions, the only way that we learn is through story structure. The only way that people is through story structure. So if there was a big bad wolf or monster that was hunting us down, the best way for us to learn how to avoid him, would be to tell stories.

John Jantsch: And tell stories about how we can gang up on the big bad wolf. I think that that was kind of led to it. So let’s go to businesses. If we are accepting this idea that businesses need to tell more stories and get better storytelling, can you routinely say, yeah, here are the 4 core stories that every business needs to have, that structure?

Ron Ploof: No, I hate that. That’s why I think a lot of people when they’re talking about storytelling or they’re trying to understand storytelling that they get all wrapped up around. The concept of story that’s like big. It’s really big and it’s epic and you need to know all of these things. What I’ve tried to do, as a storyteller, is just break down into. Look there are some little tiny things that you can do, little tiny things that will help when you say something help people remember it. Help them apply it. And to me it’s those little tiny things. Now if you start to use these tiny things, over the course of a full story, you’ll have a story. But to meet there are little little tiny things. Let me give you an example, because I don’t think a story needs to be huge. I think that the story is about delivering a piece of information that makes somebody wants to learn more. Example I like use is “The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog”. Okay that’s a fact. And the fact stands on its own. That’s a piece of narrative. No one really cares about just the fact. However, if I change it around just a little bit. And I said, “Quick brown fox wanted to jump over the lazy dog.” I’ve not used what I call a story statement. I’ve given you a piece of information but it also probably places a couple questions in your mind that you want to know more. What questions popped into your mind when I said the quick brown fox wanted to jump over the lazy dog?

John Jantsch: why did he want to? What was stopping him from doing it?

Ron Ploof: Exactly. Did he make it? So just by changing and putting that like that one word that he wanted to jump over the lazy dog. There is a biological response. There is nothing you can do about it. I put those questions into your head and so it’s a little tiny things like that that story tellers use by leaving a piece of information but you want to know more. That to me is the essence of storytelling.

John Jantsch: And you think about it, there’s lots of places to tell stories but you think about the public speaker, I mean they’re essentially up there, telling a narrative of some sort and you’re right, that narrative can either be a statement of facts which a lot of speakers do. Or it can be something that that moves you to want to know more. I think which is probably the perfect definition of what a great speech is.

Ron Ploof: Yeah, Robert McKee who wrote a great book called “Story”. I like there’s something that he says, is that all stories are narratives but not all narratives are stories. And that we can’t really interchange narrative and story very easily. Because a narrative is just a collection of facts and like you said, if you just put a collection of facts there’s nothing for people to really do if there’s no reason for them to apply those facts to what they need to do in their lives, they don’t mean anything. However, if you put them into the context of I want to learn more, I need to learn more; now you’re starting to get into the story zone.

John Jantsch: So as I mentioned in your introduction, you have created something called the “StoryHow Pitch Deck”, so just explain what that is and it’s kind of ironic I had somebody on a couple weeks ago that had created also a deck of cards and called, I’ll look it up eventually. But it’s kind of a poker type of approach for working with sale stream. So first off, just explain, I have a deck of cards like a playing deck of cards, explain the concept of the deck.

Ron Ploof: Sure. So since I like breaking story down into little tiny pieces, I came up with 60 ideas that I wanted people to be able to use in all different ways. I break a story down to a very simple statement. A story is the result of people pursuing what they want. And so what that means is that there are people roles, there are events, the things that happened to those people and then what they want? The things that are driving their actions. Well, those are the first 3 suits in the “StoryHow Pitch Deck”. There are 15 roles, 15 events and 15 influences. And then there is the last suit which are 15 techniques. Little tiny techniques like the quick brown fox technique. That’s the way I’ve broken down the deck. There’s also some instructions on how to use the deck. The first time you might look at 60 cards and think that they are a little overwhelming. And so there’s some instruction says look just take out these top 8 cards and just go through those. But it’s a way to get you thinking and so the deck is designed for you to take an idea, a presentation, a piece of marketing or something to it. And then use the proms in the cards to see if you can find your story.

John Jantsch: So obviously there’re a lot of training videos and books and courses,  why deck of cards?

Ron Ploof: Because there’s a lot of books and courses and thinks like that. There’s an author, many many years ago, called Roger von Oech and he came out with something called the “Creative Whack Pack”. And there’s a deck of cards. Do you remember that?

John Jantsch: Sure.

Ron Ploof: I have it. It went along with the book that he had called “A Whack on the Side of the Head”. That was for creativity. And I really loved the concept. I’ve been losing decks because I kept loaning them to people and they wouldn’t come back and so what I wanted to do was, is there a way to present story and storytelling into this format and that’s how I came up with the deck.

John Jantsch: Give me a couple of examples or scenarios where somebody would – Gosh, let’s plot the deck. Give me a couple examples. In everyday business, how would they use it?

Ron Ploof: Think about a couple things. You have a piece of marketing or blog post or something like that and maybe you have a bunch of facts and you’re trying to figure out how can we present this? Maybe there is a story behind that. You can use the deck to draw stories out of your clients. A lot of times you’ve your clients saying, what stories? And they just look at you with a blank stare. But you can use us some of these proms to say well what about this or what about that and all of a sudden you say, “Wait a minute, I have a story about that”. One of my favorite usage is I have a user she’s actually contacted me and I even wrote a blog post about her. But she is a Loan Underwriter. And she finds that there are times when she looks at someone who is applying for a loan and that the numbers don’t really tell the whole story, that there’s something else behind them. And so what she tries to do is she tries to get under there to look at say, the motivations, the things like that and she writes a more complete underwriting evaluation based on just using story. So she can explain it to her superior saying, “No, I think that this is a good risk because and essentially putting the numbers into a story.

John Jantsch: let’s say, I was a marketer at a firm and my instruction for the week was to write a more compelling about us page for the website. How would I turn into the deck.

Ron Ploof: Let’s just say, you have a story is the result of people pursuing what they want. So my question is what did this company want in the about page? Why did they do what they do? Was there an event that actually led them? An origin story is great – why did you start your company? Those are the type questions that the StoryHow Pitch Deck is going to bring out.

John Jantsch: Again it’s hard, we’re talking about a visual thing and we’re in audio only. So what I separate the deck into the all 4 of these colors and areas and then just start drawing from them to sort of stimulate thinking or is it more like I want to pick out 4 and hopefully put a story together from that.

Ron Ploof: Really there are different ways to use it and there are instructions that you can you can just download from the site even without buying it to get an idea of what it’s about. But if you’re coming to it for the first time, why don’t you start with the starter hand? And the starting hand is if you actually look at the StoryHow Pitch Deck that you’ll notice that the majority the cards have a grey back but there are some cards that have white backs. And so I would say just call those out. And in terms of techniques what is the purpose of  you are your about page? What is the meaning? Is there some meaning that you want to have behind that? The influence cards would be jeopardy and emotional choice. So, jeopardy – is there a risk? Risk makes a story real interesting. Was there a risk in actually creating your company or do you help out your customers avoid risk or handle risk better? Choice, emotional choice, a lot of times we don’t think that we are emotional. Emotion doesn’t belong in business. Wrong. We’re emotional beings, especially if you’re looking at jeopardy or risk. So is there some sort of emotional choice that you made? The 2 events – the initial impulse and the ending. I like to start with the ending. You don’t know where to start, if you don’t know where you’re going to end; how do you want your about page to end? What’s the last thing that you want people thinking about? And then the initial impulse – what was the thing that set this story off? Every story starts with and then one day. What was your “and then one day?”

And then last but not least, who’s your audience for your about page? Is it someone who’s finding their way maybe through a search engine or something like that? And then is there a protagonist? Is there a hero?  That doesn’t always have to be. But usually in business I like to say that the protagonist isn’t you, it’s the customer and that you are actually just a minor character in their role as a protagonist because you’re helping them do what they’re trying to do.

John Jantsch: Thanks for listening to the Duct Tape Marketing Podcast. If you like this,  you might also like my other podcasts “the Consulting Spark” where I interview independent marketing consultants and agency owners. Talk about how they built their business and the struggles they face and what they love about being in this business? You can check it out at https://ducttapemarketingconsultant.com

Quite often people associate drama with stories. then there are a lot of businesses out there that think we just sell parts that make those buckets that go up on the trucks, where’s the story in that? I mean, do you feel that there’s a story in anything any? Any business, no matter what they sell?

Ron Ploof: Absolutely. The great game of business is a big story. I mean, think about it, you’re asking people to do an unnatural act to give you money that’s not a natural act. Along with that comes risk and think about it, especially if you’re selling a high ticket item. Someone has to budget for that or they have to steal somebody else’s budget to be able to pay for your product or service. Yeah, there is drama because that there aren’t infinite resources and since there working within these limited resources, things are going to happen, people are going to get budgets swiped. People aren’t going to be able to find their pet projects. These are all the things that happened in the normal course of business.

John Jantsch: So. I’ve used your cards and I’ve got I’ve got really the little bits of a better story that you talked about. But how do I become or are there ways for me to become a better storyteller. Because obviously you see, you could give to people the exact same cards and maybe the exact same motivation for what they write about but the delivery will be completely difference.

Ron Ploof: Yeah, it’s practice. Really, it’s like anything, it is practice. And one of the things that I like to have people do is if they do come up with the story. Don’t tell someone and then ask them about it. And then refine it and go tell somebody else and go tell somebody else. Keep telling the same story over and over again, watch your audience, see how they react, see the things where they lean, see the things where they say, it’s just not that interesting. The best storytellers have empathy for their audience and they’re constantly wondering, am I telling them too much? Am my telling them too little? Did they think what I was hoping they were thinking when I offered this fact? So it does take practice. And unfortunately I’m not convinced that a lot of people really want to put the work in to do it.

John Jantsch: Yeah, that’s true. I mean professional speakers that I ran across everyday that that are not practicing, that are not getting better at the craft. Obviously there are ones that spend about of time practicing. I mean there are certainly the people that seem to be gifted storyteller, even people that don’t know professionally, there’s always one uncle in the family that can always hold people’s attention telling about the old days. And so there probably are people that are a little more wired for maybe the feedback they get when they tell stories.

Ron Ploof: Yeah, absolutely. But even that uncle gets to practice that they tell the same stories over and over again. Read an interesting thing where there are a lot of people that are afraid to like retell a story especially within an audience that might have heard the story again. The research actually said that people prefer sharing stories that they’re used to and that’s probably why the uncle is always on the – “oh uncle, tell us about the time that you can crashed the boat into the…” You know what I mean?

John Jantsch: Yeah.

Ron Ploof: They want to hear the same. But maybe they’ll pick up a new answer or something like that.

John Jantsch: It is funny. There must be something very comforting about it. May be give you the opportunity to talk about one or two some of the most powerful ways that you’ve seen the pitch deck used.

Ron Ploof:  Powerful. I just get little tiny tidbits from folks and how they’re using it. And I would never expect a loan underwriter to be using the Pitch Deck. I have somebody else who was in Belgium and he contacted me and he mentioned that he used the Pitch Deck that it was their yearend marketing report. And they’ve always done it the same way. And so he use the story how Pitch Deck say, you know what, I want to present our marketing, our internal marketing from the customer’s perspective and he uses story How Pitch Deck and he totally changed the way to do the presentations. He had the CEO in the office, he said it was pretty scary because he really did break from tradition and how we did it. At the end the CEO liked it so much. She asked him, “Can you help me with my presentations?”.  I don’t know if that’s the best you’re the greatest but it’s a real world example of how someone says I’m going to use this tool to change things around little bit, I am going to have empathy for my audience and see if I can put information into a way that they best want to hear it. And there you go.

John Jantsch: That’s great example. Think about all the people that set through these meetings said that were just deathly but that’s the way we do it here and imagine now refreshing that probably was.

Ron Ploof: Absolutely.

Ron Ploof: So Ron tell us where people can get the Pitch Deck and find out more about you?

John Jantsch: Sure. If you want just information about me and the Pitch Deck, go to storyhow.com. And there you’ll find a whole bunch of information, you can just download the instructions, they’re right there. I just wrote my 106th blog post on storytelling. You can sign up for my dragonslayer digest newsletter which comes out weekly and then learn a lot about the Pitch Deck which is right there, and then you can order it on Amazon.com.

John Jantsch: Well Ron, thanks so much for joining us today. You and I went back and forth, so it took awhile to get this on the count but I’m really glad that we did. I’ve got my 8 cards, starter cards pulled out here, I’m going to go work on my about page and see if I can make it a little better. Thanks so much for sharing and hopefully will run into you out there.

Ron Ploof: Awesome and let me know if you need any help.

John Jantsch: Thanks for listening to this episode of the Duct Tape Marketing Podcast. What if you could do me a favor, could you leave an honest review on iTunes your ratings and reviews really help and I promise I read and every one.

from Duct Tape Marketing https://www.ducttapemarketing.com/transcript-ideas-messages-narratives/

[wellmeaningshutin]

Short Story #64: Family Business.

Written: 3/13/2017                                                                Backwards Week

Nothing says “loving and healthy family” like everyone seated around the dinner table together, enjoying their meals and each others company. It doesn’t always matter if there is conversation or not, because they have all day to talk to each other, so as the family quietly ate their dinner they didn’t have the need to break the silence, because they were comfortable with the way the dinner was going. Mother cut into the browned meat in front of her and ate it slowly and questioningly, father ate at that quick and steady pace that all fathers do, and their son tried to wolf his down with the hopes of finishing before his dad did. Usually he never showed such an interest in his food, but this meal seemed to be different. After letting out a long burp, which father chuckled at, and mother shook her head at in mock disgust, the boy asked, “What is this?”

“Yes dear,” mother said, staring intently at father, voice wavering, “What is this?”

“Meat,” father said, “Haven’t you had meat before?”

“Yeah,” the boy agreed, but he was only appeased for a moment, because, like many children, he had yet another question, “But what animal did it come from?” Silence. Mother and father stop eating and look at each other. “Meat always comes from an animal. What animal did this come from.”

“Its venison,” father finally responded, and he resumed his meal. Mother only stared out the window.

“Whats venison.”

“Deer, you know, with the antlers.” Pausing to chew. “I accidentally hit one with my car, so I decided why waste it? So I brought it down into the basement, and I decided to skin it and I got all of the delicious parts out. Your mother cooked it up, and now we are eating it. Do you like venison?”

“Yeah, its great. Why don’t we eat this more?”

“Because,” pausing to chew, “the law says that you can only eat deer if you killed it. Maybe we can go hunting when you’re older,” mother shook her head, then stared down at her plate, “and then you can eat it again.”

Then, enthusiastically, the boy began to pretend like he was a great hunter, in both an attempt to persuade his father to take him hunting, but also as a sort of game. He pretended to shoot father, who made a big scene about fake dying, and then he shot mother, who at fist didn’t notice as she stared at her plate, in a trance. The boy fired again, and then a third time, then mother finally noticed, and quietly said, “Oh, you got me.”

The game wasn’t over, and the boy started waving his arms around, making big gestures, pretending that he was shooting wildlife with a bazooka, or some other sort of childish nonsense, until he accidentally knocked over his glass of water, which fell onto the floor and shattered. Looking down at it, embarrassed, he didn’t know what to do. He looked up to his mother, who seemed mortified, and he felt very shameful about it. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-” Mother kept staring, “Please don’t be mad at me.”

Father got up from his chair, moved next to the boy and then kneeled down, hugged him, and started to tear up. “There is nothing you could do that would make us mad at you. Never forget that. There is nothing you could do that would make us stop loving you.” ———————————————————————————————————

“Do I look like I know how to cook this? What am I supposed to do here?” Mother was frustrated, and she was not happy with the task that her husband had dumped onto her. “Why can’t you do this?”

“Because I still have the remains to deal with, I have to go down there and make sure-”

“Make sure of what? That the bones wont get up and leave? No, bullshit, the mess will still be down there after dinner, so there’s no reason that it should be on me to-”

“Fine, fine, you have a point. Whatever.”

“Don’t get snippy with me, you’re the one who thought of cooking this. You’re the one who got too impulsive.” As her voice grew louder, he put up a finger to his mouth to remind her that their child might over hear, so she lowered her voice, almost to a whisper. “You should just be happy that I’m putting up with this shit.”

Throwing his hands up, he quietly exclaimed, “What was I supposed to do?” However, she wasn’t satisfied with this response and started to get dinner ready, hoping to improvise a good meal. “Really, what other options did we have?”

“Let’s just, let’s not fight right now. This just isn’t the time to fight about this.” Placing the frying pan on the stove, she asked, “What’s the internal temperature supposed to be to make this safe to eat?”

“I think pork is 145 degrees, so why not just go with that to be safe?”

“Alright, can you get pepper, lemons, and, um, what vegetables would make a good side with this?”

“Might as well try to add in roasted garlic, you can’t go wrong with roasted garlic.”

“Butter too, grab me the butter.”

“Seriously though-”

“No, just, not now. Maybe later tonight, but not now.”

“What? And let this fester between us?” Refusing to respond to him, mother focused on trying to make a decent dish out of this meat she had never cooked with, and probably would never cook with again. “You know what this does to marriages.”

“Go set the table.” And he obeyed, knowing that this was not the time. When she said something, she was always a hundred percent behind it, just like she had been that morning, and just like she was now. After he was finished setting the table, he just stood in the kitchen, keeping her company. It seemed like that was what she needed, so he just stood with her in silence. Now and then he would hold her from behind, maybe kiss her on the cheek, but he stopped trying to get a word out of her. They had been through a lot, and they had different ways of handling it. This was her way.

He knew that if he did what he had to do, it would just lead to him staying in the basement all night, and she probably wouldn’t be able to handle the stress. The silence was only broken when she said, “Alright, its finished, does this seem good.”

“It smells great, don’t worry. I’ll go get him. Don’t worry, we’ll be fine. Its all behind us now.” ———————————————————————————————————

Muscle and skin, stuck together, but with a knife they could be separated. This was all father had to do, alone in the basement, was to separate the muscle from the skin. It was strange to him, because this was all meat was, muscle, but he never really thought of it like that. Meat always seemed to be just that, meat, but while he was deeply focused in the act of procuring meat, it was all he could think of, how strange it was that he never thought of it like this before. It was like how a hydrated person can’t imagine being thirsty, the butcher can’t imagine meat as anything but muscle.

Footsteps made their way down the stairs, and father quickly turned around, afraid that their son would see the bloody mess in the bathtub, but he was relieved to see that it was just his wife. “How much longer will it take?” As she asked this she stayed near the top of the stairs, not wanting to look directly at the ghoulish task her husband had been left to. “I’m not trying to rush, I just-”

“No, I know, don’t worry. Maybe twenty more minutes, there really isn’t that much muscle so I have to-” when her face grew pale he stopped talking and returned to his task. “Don’t worry, I’ll try to hurry up.”

“Such a horrible, who could’ve expected-”

“Nobody could have. There was nothing we could do, its best to not think about it.”

“I can’t stand being up there alone, all I do is think about it. Its just, when I found out this morning, its just, you always think that it will never happen to you, but when it does-”

“It did, and now its over, and we’re handling it.”

“But-”

Turning around again, he started to beckon her towards him with a bloody, rubber glove. “Come here, sit by me, let me keep you company.” In response, she sat down on the steps. “What? What is it? Is it this?” He jabbed a thumb over his back, pointing at the mess in the tub. “Just think of it as meat, then its really not so bad, trust me.” She didn’t budge. “Remember when I used to go hunting? Its no different than that. Remember all of the venison I used to bring home, all wrapped up in that white paper? Just think of it like that, think of it as venison.” Still no response. “And if you think about it,” he began to chuckle, it was hard for him to keep a straight face, “this is the biggest game I ever caught. I never, I never thought I would catch a predator.”

It was very clear that she didn’t find this as remotely funny as he did. ———————————————————————————————————

Mother knew what to expect when she came down into the basement, but there was nothing to prepare her for the sight of it. There the bitch was, right in the middle of their dimly lit basement, tied to a chair, covered in holes, blood, gashes, and dead as disco. It was nothing like the bodies she had seen on television. To make things worse for her, to make this sight harder to take in, was the fact that this was the first time she had to be around death. Ever since she was a girl, she refused to go to funerals, it was just never an option, it was never possible, but here she was. This time there was no option to leave, she had to deal with it, but it was still too much, so she buried her head in her husband’s chest, and in response he embraced her. “What are we supposed to do with her?” The words were muffled in his chest. “What did we do?” She looked up at his face, which was focused on the woman in the chair, “We didn’t think this through, what happens when we get caught?”

Looking down at her, into her eyes, his voice was unnaturally calm, “No, no, we had to do this.” This didn’t seem like enough for her. “You know as well that I do, that we had to do this. We’ll find a way out of it, I swear, we just can’t break down right now. We can’t turn back.”

“I wasn’t thinking clearly this morning, I,” her face returned into his chest, but this time sobbing, soaking his shirt as his heartbeat calmed her down. All he could do was hold her until she was ready to speak again. “I didn’t really expect you to do this.” The words finally came out. “I was just angry, I wasn’t thinking, I didn’t think you would.”

“No.” His voice broke as he said this. “You can’t, you can’t pin this on me. We’re in this together, look at me.” Stepping back so she couldn’t hide against him, still holding onto her shoulders, holding her away from him. “We can’t start blaming each other, it can’t work like that. If we do that, we’ll never make it through this. Its not me against you, its us against the world, and now we have to think about how we’re going to get through this.” She looked him in the eyes. “You know as well as I did that this had to happen, you’re just scared, that’s only natural. What’s happened has happened, there was no avoiding it, now what do we do next?”

The words were there, but she had trouble getting them out. It felt like if she spoke then she would break down, all over again.

“What do we do next?”

“I… I guess…” Tears began to stream out, she tried to wipe them away with a sleeve.

“You watch those crime shows, you have to have some idea. Please, I need you.”

She shook her head.

“Our son needs you. What happens if we get arrested for this?”

“There was… I guess… we could do what they did, in one episode, of, whatever it doesn’t matter. We could, we need to cut up the body, into small parts, and then we have to put them into separate bags, and toss them into trash cans, dumpsters, whatever, but we need to, we have to make sure that its far away. It needs to be spread out, and as far away from us as we can. We need to,” almost returning into silence, she realized that she had to keep going while she had traction, she had to use his calm to keep talking. In a way, it was infectious. “We need to make sure we have as little baggage as possible, just to lower the chances of any of them being found.”

“How do we do that?”

“I, I don’t know.”

Thinking for a second, then he said, “Well… Okay, bear with me on this, but… what if we…” This sudden break in calm worried her. “What if we eat her?” This caused her to break from his grasp, and step back in disgust. “Wait, no, don’t, hear me out! Think of it! If we do that, then we get rid of a lot of her, without risk of it being found. And, think of it, doesn’t she deserve this? Doesn’t she deserve to be turned into shit?”

It was hard not to laugh at this, “Yeah… Yeah, you’re right. There’s nothing else she deserves. But I don’t want to have to-”

“No don’t worry,” pulling her close again, “you can leave that to me.” ———————————————————————————————————

When she finally regained consciousness, it took a while for her to make out her surroundings, and when her vision settled everything was still slightly blurry. There was Mr. Jones, staring her right in the face, hatred in his eyes. Then she remembered the situation. She wanted to run, to get out of there, but it turned out to be impossible since she couldn’t get her arms our legs free, they were bound to her chair. Her employer brushed the hair out of her eyes, and he whispered, “Just making sure that you can see what’s about to happen to you. I don’t want you to miss this.” Was he crying? “You didn’t think we wouldn’t find out, would you?”

It took her a little while to figure out what he was holding, and even though, at first, she thought it may have been a gun, it turned out to be more worrisome when she realized he was holding a drill.

“You didn’t think that you could just get away with it, unpunished, did you? Now, you’re probably wondering why we didn’t just call the police, why we have to resort to this, and I’ll tell you why. If we did that, then you probably would’ve just gone free. Most people, they wouldn’t understand why you are so fucking rotten, but… Wait.” Letting out a chuckle, “I don’t have to explain myself to you. Fuck you, you don’t deserve this speech.”

All she could hear was the drill, and she desperately tried to break free, but it was to no avail.

She never knew fear until she came to in the basement. She never know pain until the drill entered her kneecap. All of these lessons were worthless in the face of death. ———————————————————————————————————

Ring ring ring, the doorbell finally went off, and mother almost jumped off of the couch when she heard it ring, she had been on edge since he made the call. Getting up, nerves shot to hell, she muttered, “No, no, I can’t stay here, I’ll just go back to his room, play with him, you can handle.”

Father held her hands in his, “You have to stay here, just watch tv, okay? It has to seem safe, it has to seem natural.” Again, the doorbell rang out, crying for somebody to open the door. Walking to get the door, he turned back and said, “No going back now.”

When the door swung out of the way, he was face to face with their peppy baby sitter, who let out a loud and drawn out, “Hey!” as she gave him a big hug. Although he hardly responded, she brushed it off, saying, “You’re always such a stick in the mud.” Proceeding to walk into their home, without waiting for further comment, she proceeded to ask, “So, you really got a copy? Is it really original?”

“Yeah,” with his right hand rubbing the back of his head, he turned around and struggled to make eye contact, “Yeah, it used to belong to my father. He was really into that old, psychedelic rock stuff, but I have a tin ear and it all just sounds like noise to me.” Somewhere in the living room, mother stared at the television harder than she ever had in her life. “I found it in a box with his old stuff, down in the basement. It looks like somebody signed it, but-”

“No shit!”

“Yeah, but I can’t”

“Which door is the basement door?” Wandering down the hallway, she stopped and pointed to a door under the stair case, “Is it this one? I’ve never been down there, I didn’t even know you guys had a basement.” He could tell she felt like a great liar, he knew that this was all pretend, she damn well knew about the basement. Mother couldn’t move, she sat paralyzed and watched the screen, wishing there was something else on instead of that god awful sitcom.

“Yeah, that’s the one.” And he didn’t even have to wait, she just waltzed right down there. It threw him off guard, and for a second he stood there, surprised that it was that easy, but then he remembered that it wasn’t over yet, and he had to sprint so that he could get behind her in time to kick her down the stairs. When she turned around, after hearing the steps rushing behind her, she had a grin on her face, and asked how their son was doing. ———————————————————————————————————

Nothing but death, natural disasters, serial killers, diseases that were bound to wipe out the world if you didn’t watch out, that’s all it seemed like their local news was. It left father in a bad mood as he sat watching it, lazily eating cereal, enjoying his day off. Eventually he changed the channel, anything would be better than that trash, and he ended up on a channel that was running an old sitcom that he used to love, back when he was younger, but that he never got to watch since his wife hated it.

As if she sensed that awful show, his wife materialized in the door way, white as a sheet. “Oh, shit, I didn’t see you there. I, uh, I had to turn it on, it was either this or the local news, and you know how pessimistic it can be. It always makes the world out to be some dangerous place that it isn’t, and really anything is,” then he realized that she hadn’t even noticed the show. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

Then she proceeded to tell him, but as the words came out it was as if everything went silent, but he knew what was being said. He wanted to throw up, he wanted to break something, maybe glass, he wanted to cry and scream, explode into a cloud of red mist, of blood and rage. He grew so hot that he swore he could have burned a hole in the couch. All he could hear was his heartbeat. “Who. Who is responsible.” She was frightened of him, she didn’t want to tell him. “You gain nothing from protecting him.” ———————————————————————————————————

There was something about playing with her son that was just incredibly frustrating. Maybe it was because he insisted that she play along, but every time she tried to do anything, he would just inform her of some new, made up rule, or would chastise her for not being able to read his mind. Most of the time she just went limp, and tried to get him to run the show as long as he could, hoping that he wouldn’t try to put focus on her. There was a time where she thought that board games would be an easy solution, but then she learned that established rules meant nothing to the kid. And she loved him more than anything, so what else could she do?

It was Saturday, she didn’t have work, was home all day, why wouldn’t she be with him, playing his frustrating games?

“And now its your turn, you’re the lion.”

“What do I do?”

“Oh come on, everyone knows this game.”

“Sweetheart, just tell me what I have to do.”

“Okay, so you, you’re the lion, right? You just have to, okay, wait.” And then, the micromanager that he is, he took the stuffed lion from her hand and went through with a demonstration of the game. He placed it next to his action figure, which was his character, in such a way that she almost had a heart attack.

“Where did you, what are you doing?”

“Come on mom, its a game, everyone knows it.”

“Where did you learn this game? Who taught yo this?”