#the band reference is to Coin btw

[johnbleepingzoidberg]

UNTITLED EVIL LUIGI AU COMIC THING | Page 5 of (???)

the italian says “you’re a loser” i think. i googled common italian insults and that’s what it gave me. i wanted to go with something sharper but i don’t speak italian and i was a little worried about just slapping a harsh italian insult i found on google down and calling it a day without knowing the possible repercussions LOL

i feel like the coloring kinda got away from me on this one. oh well. also i meant to actually put pictures in the frames behind bowser in panel 5 but i forgot. double oh well

little jokes/references i tried to hide in here that may or may not be very legible:

mario’s new coffee cup says marty. because i love the idea of mario being the mushroom kingdoms savior for 20+ years and yet the toads still can’t get his name right at starbucks

the time on the alarm clock reads 10:05 and is a band reference :)

luigi’s doing some research on the paranormal and is reading a book called can you burn a luigi board? a guide to the paranormal because that video truly lives in my head rent free and it’s just. too perfect. because. come on. luigi. ghosts. etc. totally unrelated to the story just wanted to throw it in here Somewhere lmfao

[psych---ologically-deranged]

2x09 bounty hunters!

SF, CH, KK, AB, JRr, & DH, that is a lot of people. Six. I won't be able to keep track.

"half pounder" lol

SF "also a fantastic gardener"

(nice car)

"I'm Lindsay Sloan. Not the actress, the network" -Dule Hill 1987 /j

Baby shawn has shawnvision!

Jamocha almond fudge??? THAT'S THAT BLUE ICE CREAM? I would have thought it was fake.

Lol hair

Calls him shawn?

andy "subtle" berman

Why are they talking about hot cream shaves in the psych office circa 1925, what is going on in this commentary, but I haven't seen that deleted scene. The "great north" called & asked NOT to do it in the barbershop as was initially scripted, they asked for it to be .. in the psych office. full face of cream, matching stubble levels, can it be just a gilette, shawn sleeping gus shaving himself, what abt a quatro those are new right, can they be eating shaved ices?

Main requirement for casting: good hair

JRr: We'll just get a women's large

costume shop: bounty hunter costume

Already in s2 they are deconstructing hand to head & they've already abandoned the big song & dance ritual from channeling the cat channeling gus

That's just egg whites on the flat top. Never trust a skinny chef Me: there is no such thing as a canadian accent, we (excluding east coasters who sound very gaelic) sound just like typical americans (by which I mean not east-coast new york, & not southern cowboy)

*jumps on the car*

First & last time they use greenscreen for the car.

DH: He took all my money KK: You take all my money. Tim too. CH: Who is the better poker player lou diamond phillips or W earl brown? DH: wearl Brown JRr: He's a talker, it's part of his game

tinkerbell shawnvision

SF: I worked a jungle cruise boat at disneyland for eight years

SF: Once again, continuing the theme Me: that Henry wears purple? SF: that Henry calls at the worst time possible

go stunt actors

So hard to swim with shoes on

Nah KK is right abt the clothes

It's fun when they are commenting on what's onscreen but it's also fun when they are completely off topic but it's also fun when they stop talking to just watch the show for a bit

KK: Whenever an andy berman episode comes in, chris henze always emails him a picture of edward scissorhands just to know what's in store for this episode

CH: It's fun!

FRIENDLY INDIANS WAS PLAYING IN THE BIKER BAR?

AB: By the way, not every man who looks like a man in this bar is a man, & not everyone who looks like a woman in this bar is a woman Me: Yeah they're a bunch of rock music loving bikers at a bar at who knows what time of day Me: ...Trans rights

"Pisces"

*chooses the thumb to the the first in counting from one to three* *my hoh ass knows basic asl*

First experience in upside-down harnesses (btw how is shawn's shirt still up) "How was it?" "I have a new appreciation for scenes shot upside-down" KK: I remember Andy called in & said John wanted to film this whole scene upside down before they turned over

DH: But it aligns the spine nice

KK: That's all real sweat by the way

KK: That vest we got from the costume shop. James, you WEAR that vest AB I think: That guy was a woman. (The one with the vest I think? In that case, congrats on the gender)

I feel like shawn, as someone with a bike, could be able to make himself blend in.

Gus: Like that couple from open water DH: *doesn't get the reference*

I would have LOVED that shot of the car going by without the car going by

There would also have been a shot of the cops coming to henry bc they found his boat

Another purple shirt

The camp song in the end credits is great. ily andy cohen. SF: We want to broadcast it AC: *horrified*

"I <3 coins"

& look at his hair

*actually ate the steak*

Tancana's actor had a band. "He's too good a singer for this role" DH: You don't need to be a good singer to be in a band. Just look at the friendly indians SF: That's fine dule, but season three episode one: "I'm in a polka dot dress? What?"

"I wasn't even TRYING to get involved

*after touching a dead body*

the wink

whose idea was the wedding march?

SF: Between James & Andy & I there is an obsession with hair on this show that is unrivalled

the bounty hunter walk

KK: I love it when they're like "They should totally kiss they should totally kiss!" & Steve has got this grin on his face like "I'm gonna get them close" & Andy Berman just makes it so hilarious

They're all commenting on the kiss & the chemitry & how well it played onscreen & I love it

AB: If you listen closer you could hear me laugh off camera

samee "hmm" as psy vs psy

"She likes me" "I'm frustrated"

ML learned how to do this

TIKIHAMA

Lalalalala & then the view!

[caligulalotus]

hi op! first things first, jaylen sweep. second things second, your explanation! i'll do the short version first, and under the cut i'll include a longer section that explains jaylen's place in it better.

so! blaseball was a video game/simulator run by the game company the game band from july of 2020 to june of last year. the game was a fantasy baseball simulator that combined elements of fandom, ttrpgs, and just plain video games to create an extremely unique experience.

blaseball was played on blaseball.com. in order to play, you would sign up for the website and choose a team to be a "fan" of. there were 24 teams with a varied number of players you could chose between. once you chose a team, you could watch your team and all the other ones play games on the website and bet on these games in order to earn coins (in game currency, blaseball did not include any microtransactions, to be clear.) each season of blaseball was made up of 99 games. every team would play a game every hour, on the hour, from monday to friday. after the regular season concluded, qualifying teams would move into the post season, culminating in the championship that played out sometime on saturday.

another extremely important aspect of blaseball was the election. as you earned coins, you could buy things from the shop, mostly things that helped you earn more coins. but you could also buy votes. votes could be used in this aforementioned election during which you could either cast votes to win buffs for your team/players and/or debuffs for other teams/their players. you could also cast votes in "decrees" which would change the rules of the game, which is where jaylen comes in, though that will go under the cut.

the fandom/ttrpg aspect of playing blaseball came in with the characters themselves. every blaseball player was represented by text on a screen and little else. they had stats about how good they were at the game, and later on they got things like a pre-game ritual and a coffee style to better identify them, but for a long time, players were just their names. as such, fans were allowed and encouraged to build these players into whatever their hearts desired. there is a wiki that collected the more popular interpretations of pretty much every character (of which there are many) if you'd like to take a look at jaylen's page, or anyone else's.

now. about jaylen. and elections. (btw, as i said above, fans were allowed to interpret characters to be anything they wanted. the most prominent interpretation of jaylen, particularly after she was resurrected, had her as a person using she/her pronouns, but this was far from everyone's perception of her. like, there are a ton of screenshots of people referring to her with he/him pronouns from before my time in the fandom. both because i interpret her as such and because it's the interpretation that the person who sent propaganda had, i'm going to be using she/her pronouns here.)

the first election blaseball ever had included three rule changing decrees, only one of which is important. that decree was titled "open the forbidden book". unlike the other decrees, it had no description about what this decree would do, just the sentence "it is forbidden". despite numerous warnings against this course of action, a whopping 60% of the fanbase chose to open the book (this is whopping, for blaseball. it's hard to get majorities.)

upon the opening of the book, numerous things happened as punishment. it was forbidden after all! one of these things was the creation of solar eclipses and rogue umpires. solar eclipses were the first weather condition blaseball games could be played during, and for the next two seasons, it would be the only one. during solar eclipses, there was a chance that an umpire would go rogue and incinerate a player. this is exactly what it sounds like, and it would take the player off of their team and out of play entirely, replacing them with someone new.

the first victim of incineration was the best player in the league at the time, chosen to be the first victim because she was the best, jaylen hotdogfingers. jaylen was a pitcher for the seattle garages at the time, and no one was particularly happy about their star pitcher getting smote, but at the time, there was nothing to be done about it.

but when season 6 came around, the game band introduced a new mechanic: idols. everyone could now choose a player to "idol" and buy different items that would give you money when your idol did x thing. you could idol any player that you had the page of, since it was just a button on their page you needed to press. as fans discovered a few days into the season, this also included dead players.

after confirming this was a feature and not a bug that would be shortly patched out, the fans hatched a plan. during season 6, there was a blessing called "lottery pick", which stated that the team who won would steal the 14th player on the idol board. fans got the link to jaylen's player page (which was not very easy, back then, as the search function didn't exist yet, and players who weren't on teams were otherwise very difficult to find). fans idol'd jaylen at shot her up to the 14th spot on the board within hours, where she stayed until the election closed on sunday.

the garages, jaylen's old team, won lottery pick, and jaylen was swapped by pure RNG for fellow pitcher mike townsend. mike was sent to the shadows, which is kinda like the reserve but i won't get into the specifics here. jaylen returned with two modifiers: "returned", which stated that at the end of every election, there was a chance she would be returned to death, and "debt", which simply said that she had a debt to pay.

jaylen was also followed out of death by a god, the monitor, who monitored the hall of flame, a new place where all the dead players had apparently been this whole time. if we gave him peanuts he let us see the all the dead players in a long list. i digress.

in jaylen's first game back from the dead, she did something never before seen: hit a player with a pitch. the player received a modifier that would fade after 9 (in game) days called "unstable". it came with no description other than "this player is unstable". this was... nerve wracking! soon enough, fans discovered what unstable did when it reaped it's first victim. unstable players had significantly higher chance of being incinerated during a solar eclipse, and if they were incinerated, their instability would spread to another player currently on the field. uh oh! this is when jaylen kills 12 people over the course of a season.

jaylen then went on to have a few more misadventures with her debt that i won't explain for the sake of time because they don't involve her committing murder. but it all came to a head in season 10. by then, jaylen had lost her debt, but there was a bigger threat on the horizon, the shelled one, another god, was threatening to destroy the world.

at the end of season 10, his team of handpicked players were going to return for one last chance for us to prove ourselves against them in a game between his pods and the season 10 champions. we needed to do something, and that something involved plans laid by a whole lot of entities that we had to follow along with. one step in that plan was killing jaylen again, which we did (even though we didn't know that's what we were doing at the time).

when the fight between the shelled one and the season 10 champions finally came, the shelled one absolutley swept, and all seemed lost until the monitor, the guy from earlier, showed up with his new team made up entirely of dead players. one of those players, and the one pitching, was jaylen. jaylen and the rest of hall stars played a grueling game against the shelled one and his pods that finally culminated in his death via the monitor literally eating him. not a joke. not an exaggeration.

at the end of the game, all of the hall stars were released from the grip of blaseball and the hall of flame, but jaylen, who had switched teams throughout the game and ended it on the shelled one's team, fell back to earth with the rest of the pods to live again. jaylen then went on to have a long list of misadventures and nightmares and sometimes even good times for the following 14 seasons of blaseball before the world ended and took her with it.

and that is my treatise on why you should vote for jaylen. she did all that. for you. and also there's a lot of really good music about her by the band the garages that you should check out.

Round 1

Note: before voting for the first option please leave a detailed explanation of what Blaseball even is in the notes, cause I have no idea. Also votes for the first option count for Jaylen Hotdogfingers

Propaganda Under The Cut

Jaylen Hotdogfingers:

The greatest came-back-wrong character ever. She's the mayor of Seattle. She's was the best pitcher in the league. She was murdered by an umpire in an act of divine retribution for the fanbase's transgression. The fanbase exploited game mechanics to bring her back to life. Immediately she murdered 12 people. She died again and got revived a second time as part of a team of undead players that killed god. She's a really awful batter. She has, like, 16 songs written about her and they're all really good. I thought about her every single day for a period of six consecutive months. I love her.

I'll be real. I'm an outsider to the Blaseball fandom. I don't understand it. I think they've crowdfunded characters from fictionalized fucked-up Baseball stats and a dream. I love seeing what the fuck they're doing in their eldritch sandbox just so much.

Bruce Wayne (Batman):

he's babygirl your honour! single father of 6 (ish), world's least likable manwhore, he's obsessive and mean and cares a lot and is an asshole

he’s a whore. he’s batman. he’s terrified of bats. he’ll fuck villains he’ll fuck heroes he’ll fuck any consenting adult. he’s a dad. he’s traumatised. he beats the shit out of people. he can do anything with enough prep time. he creeps people out on purpose. he lives and dies by the bit. he is everything to me. truly the character of all time

[murfeelee]

Alright, I’ve been talking about The Witcher TV show for months and months, and now I’ve FINALLY seen it.

I've skimmed through the books here and there, but really I’m a diehard fan of the video games, particularly The Witcher 3 (I’ve played TW1 and TW2 as well). Because of all the hype, attention and love the TW3 got over the years, with even Henry Cavill being a major fan of the video games, Netflix went and made this tv show, with Cavill as Geralt of Rivia, The Witcher.

MY THOUGHTS

It was GOOD! \(^0^)/ I really liked it!

Alright, don’t get excited, I think this show had some serious problems. But we’ll start with the good before getting to the bad and the ugly.

THE GOOD

THE ACTING

Everyone was top notch, and did a fantastic job. I freaking LOVE Grandma Calanthe, omg. I wanted more of her, and Mama Tissaia, and the different sorceresses (when Sodden started I was like hooo boy, I know how this goes; the finale is WORTH the price of admission, folks).

I even liked Eclipse-Princess (her name escapes me, my bad; I was calling her Arya 2.0 in my head). Don’t think I effing missed how they threw in a nod to the Eclipse Princess from Blood & Wine; that was awesome, featuring the Black Sun “curse” again.

I already knew I was gonna HAVE to tune in to see Yennefer’s story, and it was every bit as superb as I suspected it would be. Dare I say it was THE most interesting story arc of the three? Caught me tearing up a few times. I still don’t see book/game/Polish Yennefer with her, but she did a GREAT job, nonetheless--her emotions and delivery and everything was excellent.

She sounds so dang young though, which throws me off with the timeline, cuz when exactly does Yenn’s story take place in all of this? It’s hard to match her with the more...well....matronly/mature persona we’re more familiar with in the games. But I guess she develops that over time, after getting to raise Ciri. Though this does put in better perspective why she was so mean to Ciri at first, calling her ugly and everything. She wanted a child so badly, and Geralt just...gets one by surprise, and she was feeling bitter, I see it now.

THE ACTION

And I gotta give it to Cavill. Boy can MOVE. My favorite moments with Cavill were when he was sword fighting; whoever choreographed all that needs a frikkin award. I imagined the Butcher of Blaviken just tearing up mofos, and that’s exactly what we got. And he was WERKING them pants! XD

Except we never really saw my favorite sign, Igni. Oh well. And I hate that he doesn’t have cat eyes. And the Toxicity ISTG makes him look like a vampire and makes no effing sense, but whatevs.

And sometimes he was sounding WAY too Batman or demonic with this really deep and gravelly voice -- I appreciate that he was trying to give us that gruff and sandpaper dry video game Geralt, but when they’d make him yell or be mad I was like JFC NOT TODAY SATAN. But an attempt was made, and I appreciate it. ^_^ He was fine for the most part. More than fine, even. As I said, the acting & action was great, and they played to Cavill’s strengths.

THE SPECIAL EFFECTS

I also thought the CGI was fine--not the best, no, but I’ve seen way worse in shows with bigger budgets. The dragons...eh.... And that kikimore.... Well, I’m just remembering the Polish tv show, the Hexer--BIG improvement. Trust me. O_O The practical effects were excellent. Even though they messed around A LOT with the Striga plot from TW1, and what it looked like, I did like that they stayed pretty faithful to the fight. 

THE STORIES & CHARACTERS

IMO, the best episode was E04, with Pavetta & Duny. It was just REALLY well done, and the one I was LEAST expecting. My favorite episode was E06, with the dragon, because of course. Reminded me of Hercules the Legendary Journeys, IDKY. The finale was really good, too; I love the sorceresses and all the magic. And E07 when all the plots and flashbacks come together was great.

And now for MY COMPLAINTS

THE BAD

#1) OMG WTF WAS UP WITH THE TIMELINE?

I feel BAD for anyone who’s watching this show fresh, who’s never played the games, read the books, seen the Polish Hexer tv show, played Gwent, or anything related to the Witcher world.

I was thrown off several times, as they shot from Ciri running for her life or Geralt fighting a Striga in the present time; to Yennefer learning magic in the past. Geralt & Dandelion go on adventures Shrek & Donkey style--I ASSUMED in the present, with the Sylvan, Djinn & Dragon, until an episode or two later they’re in Cintra together in the PAST, and Ciri’s not even born yet, and we’re seeing a drunk Ermion/Mousesack and young Crach an Craite (I squeed, my dad~!! His accent was on point!), and Ciri’s mom and grandma. (And WOW, the lady they got to play the mom looks just like the actress playing Ciri--are they related?)

And they do this over and over again over the episodes--present day with Ciri, eff knows when with Geralt or Yennefer. Especially since you know from the books/games that they’re both almost 100 years old. Yenn keeps throwing out “it’s been decades“ this and “years” that. But W H E N though!?!

I mean, I could follow along, sure, but they REALLY needed to make it clearer SOONER for people who have NO idea who TF these people or which kingdoms are which, that some things are happening YEARS apart from each other. Pay attention to how many times GoT shoved those maps of Westeros and Essos in our faces. Or how different shows use color filters for flashbacks or something. Properly situate the audience in time AND space--we’re not Cirilla, who can travel willy nilly between both. They bounced back and forward between past and present with the toss of a frikkin coin.

And speaking of coins...

#2) THE MUSIC WAS...Well.

Oh, Dandelion. XD

Anyone who knows me knows I fangirl HARD over the Witcher video game OSTs. And unfortunately, the music on the tv show was just...alright. :\ And for a franchise so closely connected to iconic music like the band Percival, it’s a crime against nature that the tv show never had a single track that made me go YES. Give it up for POLAND. The end credits song is okay, but I only started getting into it at like Episode 6, soooo... :\

And no, I didn’t like Toss A Coin to Your Witcher in this show. It didn’t sound like part of this medievalesque universe AT ALL, but something kinda pop/country, aimed at I don’t even know who. Sure, the dude playing Dandelion can sing. But so can Ed Sheeran, and when GoT got him to sing on the show, he sure AF didn’t bust out with the next Billboard Top 40 on us in the middle of nowhere.

#3) THE CHARACTER BONDING?

The acting was top notch...it was the plot/writing I didn’t like. Or rather, the relationships between the characters. I felt more for Yennefer & Istredd, and Geralt & Roach, and Ciri & the Elf boy (and her grandma), and even Pavetta & effing Duny/Emhyr (that royal piece of sh!te) than I did for any other characters on this whole show. And that’s a bit of a problem.

First off, I HATED how they made it seem that TEENAGED Ciri had no idea who TF Geralt was. TV Ciri’s gotta be what? 15? Geralt said something about it having been 12 years since Pavetta & Duny, but even that’s too old. Book!Ciri met Geralt IN the Brokilon or whatever forest with all the water drinking and the dryad queen and mess.

They were already obsessed with each other before the fall of Cintra even happened! Ciri was like 10 already when Geralt took Ciri to Kaer Morhen to start her Witcher training, but this girl on the show’s way older, and effing clueless. They don’t even meet til the final few SECONDS, wtf!! It’s just Destiny~! Destiny~! Child of Surprise, but we never even have a scene together~! Destiny~!

Speaking of children, we have Yennefer and Geralt, which was better, but again, WOAH with the pacing. I felt effing BAD for Istredd! :( I don’t really GET why Geralt & Yenn fell so hard for each other; I don’t really feel that connection. Geralt had just as much bonding time with that eclipse-princess! They only had the Djinn episode, really, and by the end of the Dragon episode it was already over!

I mean, yeah, in the books/game they have A LOT of ups and downs, but come on; we’ve already wasted so much time on Geralt & Triss (that homewrecking wench, I’m glad her airtime was minimal), and I just want more BAMF battle couple parents Geralt & Yenn raising Ciri already! >_<

Same with Geralt & Dandelion. Geralt’s kinda mean to him, which is fair; Geralt hates everyone. But I don’t feel where they’re friends at all, and they part at the end of the season on NOT great terms. I kinda feel Geralt doesn’t really like Dandelion at all. :( Even with the whole comedic relief Shrek schtick,

THE UGLY

#4) THE LENGTH

I dunno what’s up with all the 8 episode miniseries lately (GoT, Mandalorian, Witcher, etc), but it REALLY isn’t enough to really flesh out a story. Especially not one as convoluted as The Witcher, AKA the GoT of Poland.

Again, I REALLY feel for the casuals watching, who probably don’t know what the Conjunction of Spheres Istredd keeps referring to is, or what exactly a Witcher is, or why Ciri’s so dang special -- was Lara Dorren or the Elder Blood ever even MENTIONED???

We know Yenn’s got elf blood, but it’s waaaay more than that with Ciri -- though I don’t think they mentioned her elf blood, either, just that Calanthe’s grandmother or someone had their Banshee powers before Pavetta & Ciri.

BTW, wtf with Ermion/Mousesack? That’s gotta be a red herring or something. Cuz we know this dude’s old AF and thriving in Skellige, sooo....? TF. Why the Doppler? Why?

TBH this felt like Season 1A, if anything. I don’t feel the plot really progressed much at all, other than us getting Yennefer’s story. Ciri & Geralt finally meet (cliffhanger supreme right there), but jfc this felt like a prequel -- so much of the season was dedicated to backtracking us in a roundabout way up to the fall of Cintra, then skipping ahead to the Battle at Sodden Hill.

And why the heck did they wait so long to get to get to Vigelfortz!? That’s what I was sitting here WAITING for! You mean I gotta wait for Season TWO to see my Hanse in full force!? :( URGH. Reeeeeeeegiiiiiiiis~! :(

Maybe cut out some of the unnecessary nudity every frikkin where and tell the full frikkin story, hmm? (Yenn’s boobs look great, we got it the first 5 times. Meanwhile these cowards won’t even have a dude’s left testicle be shown on screen, but whatever.)

So yeah, those are my 4 biggest complaints.

Well, and that wig’s hard AF hair line, jfc.(I was DYING during the Pavetta & Duny scene, when Cavill was holding on to that wig for dear life. XD XD)

Otherwise, I really liked the show! B+!

[thegingerpowers]

Have you ever been in a ld D/s relationship? If so, any tips on making it work? Such as punishments, rules etc.

Anon... I have been in several long distance D/s relationships. Some more successful than others, but all with their unique aspects since each Dom was different than his peers.  My last LDR led to marriage and that would be @jericoknight.  My best “tip” is the same one I offer for every single person involved in any type of relationship - vanilla, LDR, M/s, D/s, December/february, Alien/human, etc. - you need to COMMUNICATE. And that does not mean one of you talks and the other listens. It means that you each need to open up about what you want, need, like, hate, fear, and everything else in between. And you need to do that A LOT! The more you communicate, honestly and sincerely, the better chance you have of being what the other person needs and vice versa. 

Now, as for punishments, tasks, rules, and all that fun stuff.  Most of it will come directly from those wonderful conversations you have together.  But if you’d like a starting point, the best I’ve ever seen came from @instructor144. Who, btw, you would do well to follow because he is a veritable waterfall of spot-on advice and experience.  Not to mention he has the most amazing assortment of likewise wizened followers who share on his blog all the time. Go there. Be amazed. And be grateful.   But back to the list. Rather than try and find the list every time i wanted to refer to it, I actually copy/pasted it onto my desktop. It’s just that awesome. And now I’ll share it with you.

“In response to a message from a follower about how to punish along distance submissive… Many of these punishments are suitable for both RLand LDRs. The first thing is to make sure that the she knows she is still caredfor and appreciated, and that the punishment is not because you are angry (onthat note never punish a submissive until you are ready to set aside anyuncontrolled anger). Secondly, make sure the punishment fits the crime. Third,many submissives are masochists, so if you’re going to use pain as a punishmentmake sure it’s a variety of pain she doesn’t care for. Lastly, ensure that whenthe punishment is complete that you let her know that this is behind you now.That she is loved, and that you are ready to move forward. This is especially importantin a LDR.

Lines- It’s a classic for areason. Choose the lines carefully. There is a magical effect when you writesomething over and over again… you begin to believe it. I highly recommend. “Mypleasure belongs to Sir, and I will not steal from him,” over “I’m sorry forbeing a disobedient whore.” I think it’s easy to see the psychologicaldifference.

Kneeling- Sometimes all it takesis to literally bring a sub to her knees to remind her why obedience isimportant. Extended times kneeling are uncomfortable. Nakedness is a given, andkneeling on rice is a classic pain punishment that’s said to be very effective.

Snapping rubber-bands- Long distance painpunishments are indeed possible. Wrap a large rubber band around a thigh, pullit back several inches, release and repeat.

Corner time- Kneeling, standing, orholding ankles while facing the wall can be a very effective punishment. Beingalone, in silence with the fact that you’ve disappointed your Dominant is avery powerful thing. Nakedness is a given, and for added difficulty having heruse only her nose to hold a coin against the wall is much harder than itsounds.

Extra chores- Punishments are notmeant to be fun, and this one never is.

Clamping- Another long distanceapproved pain punishment. Being clamped while doing chores, kneeling, etc. isan uncomfortable reminder. You want to be sure to separate this from playtime.Labia clamping is another option to consider.

Early bedtimes/restrictionson social media, TV- There is of course an element of trust here, but social mediasites are easy enough to check for activity

Mouth soaping- Another classic for areason. A bar of ivory soap in the mouth can border on torturous.

Taking away panties/bra- This sort of thingdepends entirely on the submissive. Some women are perfectly comfortable beingwithout panties or a bra. Others think it’s unspeakable.

Essays- Having to put intowords how you failed to fulfill your commitments is a very serious punishmentfor most submissives.

Figging- Figging, for those whodon’t know is when you insert peeled ginger root into your bottom. This is atype of pain some masochists do not find enjoyable. The bonus here is thatunlike other methods such as using capsaicin, icy-hot, etc, ginger root willcause a pain reaction but will not damage tissue.

Plugging- Plugging out of asexual context, or for extended amounts of time, can be uncomfortable, andembarrassing. Add in a bit of edging, a trip to the grocery store, or sleepingwith the plug inside if you’re up for it.

Denial- Be sure to edge andtorture her as fits the transgression, or your mood.Self-deprecation- Having a submissiverefer to herself only as ’this forgetful whore,’ or in the third person for aset amount of time.

There are many more not included with the list, however I thinkthis is a good starting point. Over time you will see which things are mosteffective for your sub.LDR punishments should be verified by video, picture, voice etc.This is not a matter of trust only. It’s important that a Doms presence is feltduring times of punishment, and your desire to verify will help her understandthe importance of obedience and your commitment to making sure she followsthrough.

A final note… Ignoring your submissive, or withdrawing attention is NEVER a suitablepunishment. Just don’t. You’ve asked this person to enter a relationshipcentered around their reliance on you, and denying them access to you isdamaging.”

I’ve done several of these during the years and I can vouch for their effectiveness. No kidding.  Believe me when I say that ginger is not this Ginger’s friend. LOL.  And that last piece... about never abandoning your sub... that is sooooo important. I also had a “dom” do that to me as punishment.  It wasn’t punishment.  It was hurtful and tortuous and made me feel more alone than I’ve ever felt in my life. That, my friend, is NEVER the job of a true dominant. Not ever. 

So, anon, I hope this gives you some info you can use. Thanks so much for asking the questions!

Licks, Nips, Kisses

Ginger