#the ballot was the longest in az history

[ryanthedemiboy]

And remember: if your vote didn't matter, then why are people trying to keep you from voting?

Whether it's purging voters or limiting how you can vote or if people are allowed to feed or hydrate you when you're in line to vote, or reducing voting locations and hours...

If it didn't matter, why would they want to stop you from voting?

Who is going to make the world worse? Vote for their opponent(s).

Vote on whether to retain your judges if you have that on your ballot.

Vote on any propositions on your ballot (ranked choice open primaries is on Arizona's!)

Your vote matters.

Vote.

there are enough tumblr users who can vote in US battleground states to literally swing the election, do you realize that?? the election is going to come down to like 80’000 votes in those states — that could be your vote! so if you live in pennsylvania, georgia, arizona, nevada, north carolina, wisconsin, michigan, etccc your vote is going to make a huge, huge difference. please for the love of god vote (and if you live in a different state, you still need to vote too)

[chenoehi]

Points about U.S. Election

(As I was typing this, Biden has taken the lead in GA but it’s still not called yet. Trump will undoubtedly demand a recount so if it’s really close a recount could flip it back for Trump.)

Just a little update from my previous post on the election results, although no one cares about my opinion. Rest assured, this is purely for my own sanity.

First thoughts:

1. Arizona being wishy washy throws a real monkey wrench in the wheels of this circus train from the perspective of Biden’s bid. It sounds crazy given how the Associated Press operates when it comes to elections (being very careful to call states too early) but the AP might have fucked up. Ironically, it would mean that Fox News, the only conservative leaning major network news outlet, also fucked up by calling AZ for Biden, an even more confusing fact when we consider that CNN, NBC, MSNBC, and other liberal leaning outlets have NOT called AZ for Biden. It has been amusing seeing conservatives on Twitter (particularly the trollish, nasty, insult-slinging ones—as opposed to normal every day conservatives) say fuck you to Fox News where Republicans have been tuning in to worship at the alter of Trump for the last four years. Politics always drives home what fickle creatures we really are. This is no offense to Republicans honestly. I have little use for broadcasters with their own shows who call themselves journalists. CNN, NBC, and MSNBC are in the tank for Democrats and Fox News is Trumpland. Fox News used to be more moderate when Bush was president but that’s been a lifetime ago. Now politics are even more idealogical than they were before, and the Republican voters are almost embracing Trump now more than they are embracing conservative values. Or at least that’s what I see in my corner of the deep red South, aka Tennessee. I digress. Point is, true journalists report the facts with no outward bias. These people are political commentators. I have a journalism degree. I wrote for my school paper and helped run it. I covered the 2016 election. I’ve met real journalists at AP and newspapers. Those people are not it.

2. In other news, Nevada may not even matter now if Biden can flip Georgia and Pennsylvania (which is happening in GA and may soon happen in PA if Biden can keep the upward momentum). That would make my points in the previous post almost irrelevant now. It goes to show how unpredictable this election has been, more so than expected. If Biden flips GA for good, Trump will have to win every other state (Alaska, North Carolina, Nevada, and Pennsylvania) AND flip Arizona back to gain just 269 electoral votes. If he fails to flip AZ or if he flips AZ and then loses just one other state it’s game over. If Biden wins GA and AZ still flips for Trump  because it was called too early, then his 253 electoral votes (sans the 11 that AZ gives him) will turn into 269. He will still have to win one more state to gain 270. If Biden loses AZ and then doesn’t win any other state outside of GA he has 269 votes, and if Trump wins all the other states (PA, NC, NV, AL, AZ) he has 269 votes. If that scenario happens, neither men will get the needed 270 votes and we are royally fucked. If you think Trump demanding a recount in Wisconsin with a 20k gap (SAME AS HIS OWN GAP IN 2016, TALK ABOUT HYPOCRISY, NOT TO MENTION 2016 ALSO SAW A 10K GAP IN MICHIGAN) is bad, and if you think it’s really bad that we don’t have a President-elect at almost 3 days post election, imagine the horror of a nationwide recount or worse.

3. No one has any fucks to give about Alaska and North Carolina, still. 

4. I really didn’t want to spend energy talking about Trump but I just find it so tragic that he wants the votes to continue to be counted in Arizona where the mail-ins are now turning it around in his favor, meanwhile in Pennsylvania and Georgia he tossed out lawsuits to stop the counting because there’s all this corruption and voter fraud because his lead is slipping due to the mail-ins and absentees. Oh, and he needed to move his people just a few feet closer to observe the ballots being counted, although if they’re close enough to read the language of the ballots then that constitutes an invasion of privacy. But everything is gravy in Arizona. #allvotesmatter. No disrespect to BLM, full stop. I find irony in comparing that phrase to this voting situation because Trump certainly wants conservative votes in Arizona to matter because it means something to him. Whereas, votes incoming from Fulton County in GA (Atlanta) and from Philadelphia, PA, and Detroit, MI—all heavily Black-populated cities—are being scrutinized and declared criminal. I find it tragically ironic, so I use that comparison here and elsewhere. I’m not making light of the movement by doing so (just to be clear).

Now, a break down of this shitshow:

What did we expect to happen?

Both camps thought they could win by a landslide.

Both camps have had their egos bruised.

We expected Trump to make accusations if he didn’t perform well or if he lost.

Trump already set the precedent for this behavior in 2016 when he complained that a loss then would be because the vote was rigged. Turns out, it wasn’t. And his paper thin margins were totally fine and not the cause of voter fraud and fishiness and he didn’t steal the election.

We did not expect him to go quietly into that night. The exact opposite of what happened in 2016 is happening now and Trump’s hypocrisy and immaturity is showing full force. Even some of his supporters are saying he’s whack. That’s bad, but then again, many Republicans have had concerns over his Tweets and rhetoric for the last four years and have done nothing about it. Consequently, he’s lost a lot of former supporters and I don’t even know what his cabinet looks like now. I digress.

Everyone expected Biden to carry most of the mail-in and absentee ballots and for Trump to carry most of the in-person votes.

That is exactly what has happened in pretty much all the swing states save for AZ.

Why is that?

Trump encouraged his followers to vote in-person during early voting periods and to turn out big on election day and specifically to not mail their ballots in or use absentee ballots. Meanwhile, Biden encouraged people to mail in their ballots to stay safe.

We always have some mail-ins and some absentees each election cycle but because of COVID this 2020 election means that we have had millions of these types of ballots this year, which are always more time consuming to process and count. 

In Michigan alone, 2/3 of the state cast mail-in or absentee ballots. Michigan was one of the states like Wisconsin where Trump’s early lead was dashed once the in-person ballots were finished being tallied. Unlike in Arizona, Georgia, and Pennsylvania, Michigan has ended up with a gap of nearly 150k votes for Biden and doesn’t yet appear to be subject to a recount. Meanwhile, Wisconsin went to Biden with a 20k gap but will seemingly be subjected to a recount. The former governor of Wisconsin (who is in the tank for Trump) even spoke out initially and said that unless they can uncover a severe degree of voter fraud or mishandling of ballots (transposed numbers, etc) then 20k is a lot to overcome.

What has happened? The Red Mirage and the Blue Shift.

Generally, in-person votes are the easiest and quickest to tabulate. Mail-in ballots and absentee ballots take longer because they take longer to be processed. Then there are provisional ballots, which generally take the longest because these are votes from people who might actually be ineligible to vote (possibly because of residency status or criminal history; for example, if the latter then their voting rights may have been temporarily suspended).

Key swing states like Florida, Texas, and maybe Ohio (but specifically FL and TX) were allowed to start counting their mail-in and absentee ballots early.

FL and TX saw Biden having an early lead before ultimately Trump gained the lead and won as soon as the in-person ballots started being counted. So, mail-ins and absentee ballots tallied first, in-person ballots tallied second in these states. A Blue Mirage, and then a Red Shift.

However, news commentators have long been discussing the following scenario: the Red Mirage, aka, the tallied in-person votes overwhelmingly skewing Republican being counted first and making states appear to be in Trump’s favor when in actuality Biden would win them in the end once mail-ins and absentees were counted last, causing the Blue Shift (aka the current shift we are seeing now in several swing states, but also harkening back to the 2016 election when Trump caused what was dubbed a “Red Wave” when he swept almost all of the swing states. Aka, now a Blue Shift nationwide).

Why does all this matter to the accusations of voter fraud?

Prior to election day, the GOP (conservatives/Republicans) blocked certain key swing states from being able to count mail-ins and absentees early on. That means that all the ballots that were received in certain states during early voting periods and right up to election day (November 3rd) were unable to be counted until the day of the election.

This block happened in Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Wisconsin. I don’t know about Georgia, I don’t think this happened with GA but maybe.

So, unlike FL and TX, which leaned for Biden early on and then shifted, the opposite is happening in PA and GA, and we have seen Biden take MI and WI both.

Arizona is an anomaly because although Biden was expected to sweep a majority of the mail-in and absentee ballots, and has to a large degree nationwide, in Arizona it has been Trump who has taken a larger % of those ballots. Arizona is kind of a coin toss because Trump has a lot of supporters there, and it goes to Republicans most of the time. So Biden’s lead (and possible win) is surprising, but Trump is closing the gap slowly.

What are some things that people are forgetting?

One critical thing is that the USPS (U.S. Postal Service) fucking sucks.

It was reported either on election day or the next morning that the USPS misplaced 300k ballots. They were given more time by a judge to sweep their facilities to find these ballots (how tf do you lose 300k ballots in the first place).

The USPS has been noncompliant when it comes to this and other issues, causing several setbacks and problems.

Many ballots were delivered late. Republicans said that was fraud. They wanted to stop the counting of these ballots in some places. But as long as the ballots were mailed (aka postmarked) by election day then they are still valid, legal ballots. The USPS not delivering them on time is a separate issue.

Some of those ballots are for Trump and other candidates. Not all are for Biden. So he’d be costing himself votes too, which is counterintuitive.

Now, Trump has changed his narrative to ‘we want all legal ballots to be counted’. So I guess that means he’s cool now with the ballots being counted in AZ days after the election, just as long as they give him a change to win back the state.

Why are Trump’s accusations “dangerous,” hypocritical, and insulting?

Trump can turn a blind eye to his Hail Mary pass in Arizona and possibly Nevada this year (which he lost in 2016), and he can embrace the fact that he swept the election in 2016, won most of the swing states, many of which were expected to vote Democrat, and he can gloss over his paper-thin margins in 2016, which are eerily similar to this margins that Biden is now securing.

He can do all this because he won in 2016, and because he could win AZ and NV. But, he doesn’t like that he’s losing his lead in PA, and that he lost MI, WI, and currently the lead in GA. And of course it has to mean there was fraud and corruption if he’s losing right, because there’s no way he could lose in a fair election right? Because he’s so well-liked, right?

And I’m sure someone will point out that Democrats complained that the 2016 election wasn’t fair and that the result was influenced by the Russians and etc. etc. So Democrats are now hypocrites for calling Trump out on his bullshit statements with no evidence.

I agree that the “Trump didn’t win a fair race” argument is stupid, and that has been no more evident than it is right now obviously seeing that his popularity was no fluke. Biden is close to winning the race, but by a small margin. The country is extremely divided, and I don’t see that changing any time soon.

However, Trump is not really levying any specific accusations against Biden that I can see. What I’m hearing is Trump making vague accusations against the states, the election commissions, the polling offices, the people counting, and everyone that is specifically responsible for handling and counting the votes.

What is something that no one talking about, something that is incredibly hypocritical of Trump and Republicans to not point out in light of their accusations?

Alaska and North Carolina.

Why is neither Trump nor any conservative not pointing out how Alaska and North Carolina haven’t finished counting, or how NC has stopped counting and updating their votes for a whole day now? Why is no one saying anything about Alaska only having 50% of their votes reported 3 days after the polls opened? Where is the rage and conspiracy theories about those states and their stalled counting? Why aren’t they complaining about possible voter fraud in those states and worried something fishy is going on? Where are the lawsuits in Anchorage and Raleigh?

Oh, is it because everyone (including Democrats) knows Trump is going to win those states? Do we need an #allstatesmatter movement or something to get them to notice that we still don’t have any updates from them? (No offense to BLM, full stop.)

They don’t care about the issues in NC and AL. They only care about slow counting and fraud accusations in the states where their standing is subject to change. Meaning AKA, if the vote ends in their favor by a narrow margin of let’s say 1,000 votes then they’ll praise it as a win but if they lose the state by 20,000 votes like they did in.. oh, say Wisconsin this year, then they’ll claim voter fraud and demand a recount. Also like they have done in, you guessed it, Wisconsin. So, it’s OK if they eek out a win of 20k in Wisconsin back in 2016, and it’s OK if they eek out wins in Arizona and Nevada after Biden’s current lead, that’s not evidence of potential voter fraud, but if Biden gets a 20k win in Wisconsin this year that’s suspicious.

So Trump is fine with overtaking Biden with Hail Mary passes and narrow margins. He’s fine with all the mysterious votes for him that people are “finding everywhere” in AZ now (using his words he used to describe Biden’s gains). There’s no voter fraud going on in AZ where the mail-ins and absentees are still being counted like everywhere else, despite Trump and other Republicans complaining about the fact that votes are still being counted days after the election and that these ballots are bad in general. There’s no fraud in states where Biden initially had the lead after mail-ins were counted but is now seeing saw his lead shrink as in TX and FL, or in AZ where Biden (like Trump now in PA and GA) is seeing his early lead shrink now that mail-ins and absentees are being counted. There’s no fraud in AZ because Trump is the one gaining the advantage. And there’s also no fraud going on in Alaska where there is still only 50% votes reported or in North Carolina where 94% votes were reported before being delayed now a full day.

Quick question: do you see any Democrats or Liberals claiming Trump’s camp or the AZ counties themselves are purposefully locking that state up in his favor with mail-ins and absentees after seeing how many votes were needed for Trump to win it once the in-person ballots were tallied—as Trump so eloquently accused the Democrats and polls in PA, GA, MI, and WI of doing in his press conference yesterday afternoon? Because that’s basically what he said in his press conference. He made the accusation that they looked at the tally after in-person votes were counted, saw what votes were needed for Biden to win the state, and then suddenly they just started finding votes everywhere. Again, where are the watchdogs barking about people in Arizona and Nevada suddenly finding Trump votes everywhere? Suddenly, absentee and mail-in ballots are…good.

A summary of the hypocrisy and bullshit.

Trump wanted people to vote in person.

Trump said there was no way he could lose the election fairly. (Arrogance and also setting the stage for his legal arguments.)

Trump said that mail-ins and absentees were not trustworthy and basically they could be used to rig the election. (Also setting the stage for legal arguments. Again, we have always used these types of ballots in elections and everyone knows they skew heavily Democratic so if Trump says they’re not trustworthy all of a sudden and millions of people vote this way due to COVID, then we got ourselves a huge case of fraud.)

Trump fails to mention that a fraction of the mail-ins and absentees in every state are still for him or Independent candidates and that with each update his vote count also rises along with Biden’s.

He fails to acknowledge that in AZ the mail-ins and absentees are favoring him more than Biden and that they are the reason he’s gaining in AZ now, and he’s more than willing to say that counting should continue there and to take his gains as a sign he’ll win the state. And it totally doesn’t matter that this is a direct contradiction of his statement that mail-ins and absentees are tools for Dems to ‘steal’ elections.

The early Blue Mirage in states like TX and FL, where the mail-ins and absentees were counted early and the first votes leaned Biden, were followed by in-person ballots and leaned overwhelmingly Trump.

The Blue Mirage of Arizona is seeing mail-ins and absentees turn out to be not in Biden’s favor but rather in Trump’s favor, the opposite of what happened in TX/FL (and what’s happening in GA and PA).

All these shifts in Trump’s favor in states where mail-ins and absentees have either been giving the wrong overall impression initially because they were counted first (FL/TX) before shifting drastically for Trump once in-person ballots were considered. Because those states were allowed to count these ballots early and were not made to wait until election day to start counting.

The results of mail-ins and absentees in AZ are not what people expected and have ended up shifting now at the last minute for Trump after in-persons have been counted. No one is claiming that this last minute shift is suspicious.

Democrats will still most likely lose the Senate, where they only gained 1 seat, and their only hope of possibly winning the Senate is if they A. pick up more seats organically and B. if Biden wins then Vice President-elect Harris could cast a vote for the Democrats.

Democrats have not quite swept the House either. They will probably hold onto the House but they have lost 5 (count it FIVE) seats to Republicans and the one lone Independent seat was also lost to the Republicans so at this point the conservatives have gained a total of 6 (SIX) seats. Their representatives are also leading in a lot of places so they will gain bare minimum probably 10 more seats and there are only 34 left (according to AP as of this moment).

All of the Republican Congressional candidates are performing well, whereas Trump (the incumbent Republican President) is losing, and at the very best still performing poorly. Including losing the popular vote by 4 million votes. This is stunning because normally in this situation the congressional candidates would not necessarily outperform the incumbent president of their party.

Basically, if the Democrats really wanted to rig this whole election then they have done a very shit job of it. I would like to speak to a manager.

That’s it. I’m done. If you read all of this, you’re the OG. I hope some of what I said resonates.

[illyriantremors]

Beneath the Stars Chapter 12

Chapter: I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X XI

AO3 Linkage

Summary: Morrigan takes Feyre out dress shopping for the dance where the girls have a little heart to heart about the men in their lives. The conversation leaves Feyre wondering about Rhys, but when she takes things a tad too far at the school Karaoke night, things between them do not go well.

Chapter 12

I stared at the pasty creams and pinks and wanted to gag. The desire increased when I flipped the price tags over and nearly fainted from the sticker shock.

“You don’t have to look like a pastry, you know.” Mor grabbed my shoulders and steered me away from the racks I’d been stuck in front of staring off into miles of crinoline and lace for far too long. “You can try something a little sexier. No one expects you turn up looking like a wedding cake. Makes it very difficult to dance.”

“Morrigan,” I said between my teeth as we stopped before a rack of silks and satins that looked like pillowcases made to dress a pencil.

“Oh stop. This should be fun!” She settled down for a moment, giving me her sympathetic puppy eyes. “You are having fun, right?”

Goodness I felt awful.

“Yes, this is just a little out of my element. Fashion was always more Nesta and Elain’s thing. I mostly live in… paint.”

“Well don’t worry. I’ll have you fixed up in no time for the dance. My cousin won’t know what hit him.” She bit her lip and made suggestive faces at me. Morrigan could be a real fox when she wanted to, which was half the time anyway.

“Your - wait, what?”

She had disappeared into the dressing room with a mountain of options piled onto the crook of her arm before I could catch her. “Tell me which ones look good, okay!”

“You know you’re going to look good in everything, right?” I said standing outside the stall while the dressing room attendant, clearly bored with the slow day, tried not to look like she was eavesdropping.

Mor peeked her head out from behind the door and grinned. “Well alright then, help me figure out which one is gonna get me the hottest date!”

“No one’s asked you yet?”

“Well, there have been a few inquiries. Just a couple of guys on the football team trailing me and some of the other girls on cheer after the games, but…”

But not the right football player.

“You ever think of asking someone out? Someone you feel more suited to saying yes to.”

Mor snorted and I faintly heard her whisper, “As if he’d say yes…” I didn’t think I was meant to hear it. “I’m coming out now. Guard your eyes lest you decide to ask me!”

She was a vision in red. Her hair and makeup weren’t even done. The dress clung effortlessly to her curves and wound its way up her chest and neck like a snake caressing its prey before stealing the final few breaths. How on earth could anyone be so effortlessly flawless?

The dressing room attendant whistled and Mor scrunched her nose up playfully at her. “Thanks.” She asked already beaming at me as she did a little spin and I caught the back view. “Well?”

“I think it’s safe to say you could land any guy you wanted in a dress like that.”

She popped off the little pedestal and thrust a dress from her changing room at me. “Try one on, just for me. Please?”

The dress was midnight blue and felt like water over my hands. It was sure to be horrifying on me as I was nowhere near as well endowed as Mor, but it was so supple and if anyone could make me feel like gold in a dress like this it’d be Mor.

“Fine, just one.”

Mor clapped her hands together briskly and I grabbed a room.

“What about you? Any suitors?” she called one stall over. “You’re bound to be Miss Popular now that you’re on the ballot for court.”

“Ha, fat chance.”

I took my oversized sweater and leggings off, cringing at the paint stains sat next to the elegant garment I was meant to put on.

“Really, no one’s asked you yet?”

“No, why?”

“Hmpf,” was my only reply.

“Mor?”

“Yeah?”

“What is it?”

I heard her door click open. Nervously, I opened my own and stepped out into the light where I was met with a squeal. “OOH! It’s perfect!”

“Hardly,” I said, glancing over my shoulder into the mirror where my butt was practically visible via the deep drop of the open back. This was never making it past dress code. The chaperones at the dance would have my neck. “And don’t distract. Answer my question.”

She crossed her arms looking positively exquisite in dress number two, a strappy white little number that was sure to have a certain running back’s blood running. I hoped she’d pick that one regardless of what else she might try on.

“It’s just, I was so sure Rhys was going to ask you.”

“Rhys - oh.”

“Come on, you may yell at him half the time for being an awful little flirt, but you flirt right back.”

I scowled, but I couldn’t exactly deny it. The attraction was there right between the violet eyes, the cat-like smirks, and the way he moved so fluidly as he walked, the lean muscles of his body working with every step.

But most of all, Rhys was kind. He pushed, but never overstepped. He laughed, but never destroyed. He listened. He was everything I wasn’t, which was one heaping big mess still, all because of Tamlin.

“Rhys wouldn’t be interested.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“Trust me, he wouldn’t. He’s like Cassian. All flirtation, no actual intention for anything serious.” She rolled her eyes not believing a word out of my mouth. “And besides, Tamlin-”

“Is ancient history,” Mor cut in very flat. This wasn’t her opinion - it was cold hard fact. “You haven’t even talked to him since you broke up, which you did - I’ll remind you - because he was a lying sack of scum who was cheating on you. Something Rhys would never do.”

“You date him if you’re so sold on him. Or if you won’t give poor Az a break, at least give Cass a chance.”

The fit of giggles that erupted out of her was worse than a Caribbean hurricane mid-summer. “Me and Cassian - please!” I swiveled around and made back for my room when Mor calmed herself down and went on. “He and I are a disaster waiting to happen.”

“Why’s that?” I asked changing back into my clothes. I’d only promised one dress. Mor had plenty more scratching along the rack in her stall.

“He and I slept together once. It didn’t end well.”

“You what?”

“Yeah, yeah, shut your face woman. I know all about what you’re thinking. But he and I are history. I was so excited when my uncle convinced my parents to let me stay out here with him and Rhys that I jumped on the first guy I could find to celebrate.” There was a pause and she was suddenly much less flippant about it all. “It was awkward afterwards and I felt like I’d made things unnecessarily weird between Rhys and I, not that he cared if his friends dated, but… I’d only just arrived and it was better not getting too involved.”

I laced up my shoes and strode back out to wait outside her door. “But it’s been two years now. Surely enough time has passed.”

“Yeah and surely Cassian has well and truly moved on. Besides, you don’t actually want him and I together, do you? Golly, it’d be miserable for everyone. We’d never stop fighting!”

“Yeah, well, Cass isn’t exactly who I’d been talking about.”

Silence. Then, a cleared throat.

“I’m coming back out now,” Mor called and the door clicked open. Dress number three was a canary yellow cocktail number that should have clashed horribly with her hair, but naturally it complimented her in every way. “Well? How’s this one?”

“Perfect on you, of course.” I forced myself to barely look at her and she took the bait.

Mor groaned. At her sides, her fingers fidgeted uncomfortably with the sides of her dress. “What, Feyre?”

“I’ll make you a deal. You think about what I said, asking someone - anyone,” I added at the redness I saw turning over her cheeks, “and I’ll consider the possibility of going with, um, Rhys.”

“Oh, would you?!”

“I’m not making any promises! I just said I’ll think about it, which is all I’m asking of you. I’m telling you, he won’t want to go with me.”

“I highly doubt that, Feyre. I highly doubt that.” It was funny how much she looked like Rhys herself in that moment. It wasn’t in the physicality of their bodies so much as the way they moved. They carried the same glow about themselves, the same happy energy that was contagious if you got too close.

“Yeah, well, just don’t forget to keep up your end of the deal.”

Mor darted forward and pecked a quick kiss on my cheek. “I won’t - promise!”

She tried on no less than twenty dresses that day.

Tamlin.

Rhysand.

Tamlin.

Rhysand.

Was I even interested in Rhys? I didn’t think I’d be thinking about him so much if Mor hadn’t insisted on beating the idea into me.

I hadn’t spoken to Tamlin for weeks since the breakup. I occasionally still saw him at school. It was inevitable that we would run into each other and every time it was a horrible dagger straight to my chest.

He had tried the first day to talk to me, but only after a chance encounter at lunch. He didn’t seek me out. He didn’t try to call. But the moment I magically got in his way in a chance encounter while changing classes, he was a slew of words and apologies I didn’t have time to hear.

And that was simply that.

Lucien had avoided me too. The few times we saw each other across the cafeteria for lunch we sent a slew of icy glares back and forth, and that was pretty much it. Each time one of us broke eye contact, a horrible knot would ache in my side, my body trying to get me to acknowledge Lucien and the fights between him and Tamlin before the breakup. But I didn’t want to see it. Not yet.

Rhys never mentioned Tamlin and I had a feeling it wasn’t just for my benefit. But I liked that he didn’t pressure me about him or tear him apart for what he’d done. It was nice to feel respected and leave it at that.

Going out with Rhys was another matter entirely - a laughing one. I hated to admit even to myself how huge a hole Tamlin left inside my heart. It wasn’t exactly him that was the issue, just the fact that there used to be someone there for the longest time by my side and now there wasn’t and suddenly my mess of a life was an even bigger mess.

With Rhys, I could pretend it wasn’t. He made me feel somewhat normal again, if normal was even an obtainable thing. But that only worked while we were friends. I knew that under the surface, I was still cracking barely holding on. If he dug a little deeper, got his long delicate fingers underneath my skin, he would unhinge me completely and that was something I really, really didn’t want him to see again.

Better to keep my distance from him in the daylight so I could go on pretending all was well, rather than continue throwing my family and demons at him in the night, especially when he had chased enough of them away already. The guilt of burdening him further even as I lied about how I was doing could destroy what tenuous friendship we already had.

Not that that stopped me from noticing him from time to time…

Like now as we drove to the Karaoke Night at the cafe a few blocks down the road from school.

Rhys had picked me up. It was the first time outside of school that I’d seen him since my dress shopping extravaganza with Mor and he looked, ah, handsome.

He had on a solid black shirt that was pressed and crisp as was his usual standard, but the lack of buttons and tailor made cuffs he had swapped out for 100% cotton fabric was heart-palpitating to say the least. There was less gel than usual in his hair so that the ends stuck out a smidge from where he’d placed it. One little tendril curled just over the top of his right ear looking very much like it might tickle him. My hand flinched on impulse to touch it.

“You know, if you wanted to sit and undress me all day long with your eyes, you need only have asked. I would have gotten to your house much sooner.”

Rhysand tilted his head back, an exaggerated way of knowingly looking at me as he drove. It caused the muscles in his neck to stretch and strain and - oh boil and bake me, Morrigan, you wicked witch. This was all her fault.

He laughed as I stammered and continued to gawk awkwardly at him, and resumed his driving. I sat in my seat glad that he only thought the flirtation a mere joke. It was just a joke, to me at least. I didn’t actually like Rhys, he was just attractive.

That was all.

I was nervous about this Karaoke Night. Cassian had threatened to make me sing and I had absolutely no desire whatsoever to acquiesce to that demand. Especially when he suggested that I sing my heart out to some Backstreet Boys hit I’d forgotten had existed. (Cassian knew every word.)

Morrigan was even more insistent that I choose something, but Az was the one who whispered in my ear that with a senior class of over one thousand students, even if only a small fraction of them showed up for this, I could easily get away with not singing.

“Iced tea for the lady,” Rhys said coming over from the cafe counter and handing me a clear plastic cup full of ice and heaven.

“I like other drinks too, you know,” I said before amending to, “and that you don’t have to get me anything.”

Rhys gave a shrug contained entirely to the downward slope of his lips and sat down silently next to me. Instantly, I wanted to take back what I’d said so I could earn his smile instead - the same one he’d flashed me in the car.

Cassian, ever the showoff, took over MC duties with gusto. I chewed on my straw as the first person went up to sing some cheesy version of My Heart Will Go On. Typical karaoke fodder.

“You seem tense,” Mor said on my right. With Rhys close on my other side, I couldn’t exactly answer her honestly. He was so close and I felt… a little hot in the face.

Did I like him? Was this all because Mor said something or was there… was there something there?

I tried to shrug it off like it was nothing, but my body cut it off halfway with a shudder I didn’t quite understand, sort of like when you want to say one word but accidentally start to say another at the last second and get them jumbled.

This wasn’t happening. I wasn’t going to let this happen. I couldn’t like him. I would not like him. He was my friend and he was helping me work through enough already without adding feelings to the mix that he wouldn’t return.

Well, probably almost most definitely maybe wouldn’t return.

Depending on how much I trusted Mor.

And Tamlin. Goodness Tamlin was -

Here.

My stomach clenched uncomfortably as I scanned the cafe trying to look anywhere but Rhys or Mor, who still hadn’t stopped smirking at me even as Az sat next to her trying to keep from looking at the free hand she held open in her lap - filthy hypocrite.

And then there was Tamlin walking in with Lucien and… and…

Her.

Rhys noticed the shift in me right away and looked up, exchanging a look of annoyance with Cassian up on the mock stage when he realized who I was watching. Cassian kept the line of karaoke go-ers moving while Tamlin kept his distance at the cafe bar.

He gave me one single look, his mouth opening a fraction of an inch as if he might say something to me across the room, and then Lucien was stepping in front of him blocking his view with his back to me.

“Feyre, hey,” Rhys said softly next to me. His knuckles brushed over my thigh and I withdrew into myself, mesmerized by the touch. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”

I swallowed hard. I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t look at Tamlin anymore either.

“Feyre, you’re shaking.”

“What?” I hadn’t even noticed.

“Do you want me to go tell him to leave?”

“No,” I shook my head quickly. Interfering with Tamlin was the last thing I wanted. “No, just… stay with me, please. Distract me.”

His knuckles moved a little higher on my thigh in a way that was supposed to be reassuring, comforting, but… “What do you want me to-” he started to say at the same time my chest hitched from the contact on my leg.

Rhys’s hand froze. And Tamlin started to disappear as I thought more and more about that hand on me.

“Feyre…” Rhys rasped. Just that sound. That simple change in his voice. It did something to me I couldn’t quite explain. A small little window inside of me cracked open the tiniest bit.

Time to test Mor’s theory.

Nervous to the point of shaking, I slid the hand closest to Rhys down my thigh to meet his letting my fingers brush over his palm. His fingers curled and I could practically feel the goosebumps rising on his skin as if they were my own.

I dragged ever so slightly higher towards his wrist and his hand snapped mine down in a jerk he made sure no one else could see, but I certainly felt. Had he shivered? I think he might have shivered. My heart pounded out of my chest as he snaked his far hand over him to run up my arm, tickling in the crook of my elbow so that my body felt alive with the electricity of the touch.

Let’s see how you like it, his fingers said.

A small gasping breath rattled out of me. And I wanted more.

Below our chairs, I slipped my foot out of my sandal and wrapped it around his leg. I pushed the hem of his pants up with my toes and gently rubbed over his ankle. When my foot got past his sock and met his bare skin, I felt his calf clench where my leg was twisted around him.

But his fingers - damn his long delicate fingers kept stroking up and down my arm and it was all I could do not to squirm in my seat and draw the attention of the entire room.

Oh shit - the room. I’d forgotten where we even were in less than a minute of Rhys distracting me, exactly as I’d asked him to. But all I felt was him. And all I heard was this pounding of music as someone sang on the microphone some heady love ballad with a building melody…

Rhys’s knuckles ran a new pilgrimage from my wrist up my arm, but did not stop this time until they met my shoulder and then up, up, up my neck to where my ear was and - ugh… My head rolled onto his shoulder to cut the touch off and save myself from whimpering aloud. Rhys’s only response was to lean down, his nose brushing over my hair, and I felt a hot breath on me as he murmured one word.

Just one word.

One name.

My name.

“Feyre…”

“Ah,” Mor’s sharp voice remarked quietly next to me. My head snapped up and she cleared her throat, inclining her head in the direction of the bar. Tamlin was glaring at me - at Rhys - as he pounded a drink far too hot to be gulped down the way he was. Ianthe did not seem too bothered to notice or else she didn’t care.

Whether he meant to or not, Rhys’s arm went around the back of my chair refraining from touching me, but the message was clear. Mor crossed her arms and legs with a look to kill and Azriel - Azriel stared outright, his scarred hands running over one another as if he were sharpening a sword. I’d never seen him so open about this part of himself he normally tucked away so carefully.

I looked at my friends - my little inner circle and it gave me the confidence I needed to look Tamlin in the eye and I glared with every ounce of self-respect I had in me. Fearless as the wolves, I wasn’t going to let him take anything else from me. Not ever again.

Lucien said something to Tamlin. Ianthe looked bored. Five seconds later, they had all left. And I felt smug and satisfied.

Until I looked at Rhys.

His face was clenched tightly. I realized he was no longer touching any part of me. He looked… he looked dejected.

“Rhys-”

“I’ll be back,” he said and shot out of his seat. Cassian stumbled with the transitions between songs and cracked a random bawdy joke to cover it up, but I knew he’d seen the whole exchange.

Azriel politely averted his attention from me. And Mor, well, she was about to say something, but stopped short. Because there was nothing to say. I’d blown it.

With Tamlin in the clear, I followed after Rhys. He pushed outside the cafe and I momentarily held my breath waiting to see if Tamlin would still be lingering outside, but there was no trace of him.

Rhys leaned against the window of the building, his hands in his pockets. He took one look at me and I watched the corners of his eyes tighten miserably as he shirked himself from me.

“Hey,” I said gently, trying to figure out how to fix this. “What’s wrong? What did I-”

“I’m sorry,” he blurted, interrupting me. I gaped at him confused.

“Sorry? What the hell for?”

“What for? What for?” He pushed off the window, but maintained a careful distance from me. “Shit, Feyre.”

“What? What is it?” I tried to step closer, but he recoiled and that hurt worst of all. “What did I do?”

Instantly, he moved and within seconds he was cradling my face in his hands. “Stop it,” he choked. “Stop comparing.” He stared right into me with those violet eyes of his and the world started slipping away again.

“I don’t understa-”

“Damnit, Feyre - I’m not Tamlin! This isn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. Just because I’m… it doesn’t mean that you’re… that you did something...”

His eyes circled around mine resting momentarily on my lips and I thought he might lean down and kiss me, but I was so distracted by what had just happened, what he was saying, that I asked, “Just because you’re what?”

His fingers brushed further back across my face, clenching into my hair before he dropped them and released me entirely.

“What I did back there-”

“What we did, you mean. Don’t think I’m not a part of this.”

“Stop. Please stop. Will you listen to yourself for two seconds?” He ran a hand through his hair. Without it being styled nicely like he normally did, the gesture ruffled it out of place completely. “Feyre, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have touched you like that. It was inappropriate and spiteful and you deserve better than that.”

I opened my mouth to argue and then promptly closed it again as I glared at him. He seriously was going to do this to me? Now?

My heart fluttered uncomfortably. Was it all a joke to him then? The flirting. The witty retorts. The bedroom eyes he was constantly sending. Or had I just gotten too high on Mor’s insistent chatter in my ears and overlooked the obvious fact that Rhys was just as big a flirt with everyone as Cassian was?

I wasn’t sure where the anger was suddenly coming from, but it was there, hot underneath my skin. “I don’t get it. I asked for you to help me. What you did - Rhys. Fuck, I needed your help. And you think you let me down?”

“Of course I did,” he snapped. “I let you down. I let myself down.”

There it was. The simple truth.

I took a risk. I put myself out there. He gave himself a taste of what it might be like and realized I wasn’t what he wanted after all. A letdown.

And I’d fallen for it. Those horrible few seconds where I’d let myself dare think maybe he might feel something for me were a huge, nasty mistake.

“Feyre, I-”

“Don’t,” I said. And the scene felt all too familiar to another guy I’d had to cut off from defending himself for his actions. All too painfully familiar. “You know what, Rhys. Forget it. I don’t know what your problem is. You shove yourself into my life and you say and you do all of these things and you make me think that, that… I don’t even know what I think anymore. But we can just pretend none of this ever happened because clearly, you’re too big of a mess yourself to deal with any of my shit.”

Rhys flinched. My anger dissipated on the spot. The full weight of what I’d just told him hitting me as I watched his face, his spirit - that beautiful lively spirit that was animating me back to life more and more each day - sink lower, lower, and lower.

Tentatively, I reached out my hand, but he backed away.

“I’m driving you home.”

“No, please - I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.” The words turned to ash in my mouth. I hadn’t let him apologize. Why would he let me?

“In the car now, or you can ride with Mor.”

He waited only long enough for me to realize that the offer wouldn’t last forever. Though I was scared out of my mind that I’d just made a horrible mistake, I chose to go with Rhys. I would choose to go with him every time, I vaguely thought. I was in way deeper than I realized.

And it would give me a chance to apologize on the ride home, but Rhys never quite let me get there. Every time I tried to say something, one look from him and the words died in my throat.

So there we were. I’d ruined it all between us maybe not just romantically, but as friends too. He’d taken care of me when I needed someone and I threw it back in his face.

He dropped me off at home and left without another word. I trudged up to my room glad that it was Thanksgiving break and I didn’t have to think about school in the morning. I didn’t even have work at the gallery this week.

Dad wasn’t around anywhere that I could tell, though I noticed his bedroom door was closed again. Accepting my solitary confinement for the remainder of the evening, I dug out my phone and texted Mor to let her know we’d left.

Oh my gosh, Feyre - what the hell happened??

I sighed staring up at the still blank ceiling of my bedroom. The skylight wouldn’t even show me the stars when night fell later on - not with all the clouds covering the expanse up.

Where did I even begin to explain?

You were wrong Mor. Wrong about everything.

xx