#the balance must be maintained yknow

[sheawritesstuff]

Summertime Sleepover

[Teen!David and Asher]

[Fluff - 778 words]

“David,” Asher cracked his best friend's door open and whispered. “David, are you still awake?”

“Mhmm,” David replied, not even looking up from his book. “What's up?”

“I can't sleep. Can I come hang out with you?”

“What's wrong with the guest room? You sleep in there more than your own house these days.”

“Nothing's wrong with it, I just don't wanna be by myself right now.”

“Come on, then.” David patted the space next to him expectantly. He finally glanced up as his visitor crawled into bed with him. “Dude, are you still wearing skinny jeans?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Who the hell wears jeans to bed? Go change.”

“But I didn't bring any night clothes…”

“I see that, dumbass. Go grab a pair of my sweatpants or something.” He pointed toward the dresser against the wall. It was wholly unnecessary, seeing as Ash had been stealing his clothes since they were old enough to dress themselves, but he wanted to emphasize his point.

“But-”

“No buts! I'm not sleeping next to someone in denim.”

Asher groaned and climbed right back out of bed. He shuffled through the drawer, searching for a good pair to wear. After thoroughly studying all his options, he picked a thin pair of dark blue pajama pants. He aggressively tugged the pants off, desperately trying to escape the denim prison he trapped his lower half in. Slipping into the new pair was significantly easier.

Once dressed, he turned his back to David and glanced over his shoulder. “You like what you see, big boy?” He bent forward and ran his hands up his thighs slowly. He bit his lip dramatically and raised his eyebrows.

David stared at him blankly. “Are you done yet?”

“You're no fun.” Ash returned to the bed and climbed under the blanket. “Whatcha readin’ anyway?”

“This,” David motioned dramatically to the object in his hand. “Is what most people call a book. You should pick one up sometime, they're pretty cool.”

Ash glared at him and groaned. “That's not what I meant and you know it.”

“Yeah, but it was funny.”

“Daveyy,” Asher whined. “Just tell me! I'm nosy. ”

“David,” he corrected sternly. “Say my name right and maybe I'll think about it.”

“Fine! David.” He made a point of over annunciating the last syllable. “Now will you please tell me what book is keeping you up this late?”

“A Separate Peace. It's one of my favorites.” David closed the book around his finger, showing off the cover but keeping his spot. “It's also a classic.”

“You're so boring,” he sighed.

“Sorry I have taste.” David reopened the book and continued reading.

“You sound like Milo,” Ash giggled.

David ignored him, letting the quiet laughter fade out on its own. There was a long silence, broken only by the occasional page turn. Asher fidgeted with the drawstrings of his borrowed pants and looked around the bedroom that might as well be his own with feigned interest.

“It's getting really late. You should at least try to get some sleep,” he said finally.

“I'm not tired.”

“That's bull. You look exhausted, man.”

“I'll fall asleep when I'm ready. ‘Til then, I'm just fine where I am.”

“You need sleep, David. It's important so you can be the best possible alpha when you're older.”

“You're not my dad,” he retorted.

“Well, yea, but he'd say the same thing if I went and got him.”

“You wouldn't dare.” David shifted his attention to the other boy in his bed, almost offended by the audacity of his threat.

“Oh yes I would.”

David stared him dead in the eyes, challenging him to back down. Ash stared right back, a mischievous grin pulling at his lips.

“God, fine, I'll lay down.” David slid his bookmark between the pages and set the novel on his nightstand. “But I’m still not tired.”

“Come on, buddy. Once you get all comfy and cozy you'll be asleep in no time.” Asher cuddled up to his side and peered up at him with his signature puppy dog eyes. “Don't you wanna snuggle with me?”

David sneered. “No.” He flicked his bedside lamp off and turned back to his late night visitor. “This is purely for your benefit.”

David laid flat on his back, arms folded across his chest. Asher laid on his side, legs wrapped around one of David's and arm flung haphazardly across his middle. He squeezed gently and settled comfortably into his side of the bed.

“I love you, Davey,” Asher mumbled, barely conscious. He nestled his head against his best friend's shoulder and hummed contentedly.

David rolled his eyes and smiled. “Love you too, Ash. Good night.”

[ravenofsilver]

It is 4:45am. I am at work, cold, and sad.

I should get a weighted blanket that’s like. Throw blanket sized to bring with me on Sad Shifts. Won’t fix the tired or the work but it sounds warm and makes my anxiety brain go brrrrrrrrr (or at least the idea does, I’ve never used one before but I think I’d like the experience bc pressure makes my brain good)

[saturniere]

m6 as greek gods

(or other important figures in greek mythology)

note: this is more of a ramble than a proper headcanon/au post. and i must say that i am not that sure about all the comparisons — for some of the m6, it was harder to find characters of greek mythology that would resemble them well, and for others i found several characters that are comparable to them in some ways. and i just wanted to indulge in both these interests of mine so here it is

lucio:

ares, the god of violence in war and courage. besides lucio having a violent mindset by default ('kill or be killed', yknow) and most of the time trying to show bravado, which clearly ties to ares' main traits, there is another similarity which lies in how other people perceive lucio and ares: the fact that ares represented all the horrors of war didn't do well for his popularity among the greeks. majority of people didn't like him at all, and he had little respect as a god, often ending up humiliated in myths. it reminds me of how lucio wasn't actually liked nor respected among the people of vesuvia

cronos, the god of time. tbh i myself think this comparison isn't very fitting, but i like the fact that they have some specific parallels in their stories: 1) patricide :); 2) acting selfish and committing atrocities simply out of extreme fear of death; 3) being locked in one place after being defeated (cronos was defeated in war, lucio was.. metaphorically defeated by death. or you can see it as him being defeated by asra when they sabotaged the ritual) without an ability to escape the imprisonment (yes, lucio is again metaphorically imprisoned in the palace as a ghost before receiving external help) (i know the last point is forced but i'll keep it anyways :p)

another character that could resemble lucio is narcissus, but i think the parallels between them are a bit superficial

nadia: athena, the goddess of wisdom, strategy in war, craft. i don't think there's any other more suitable option for her, since they both possess and represent very similar traits. for nadia, war strategy could represent her rational approach to being a leader of vesuvia and her skill for battle and war tactics that are shown in the confrontation with the devil. besides, one of the main symbols of athena is an owl, much like in nadia's case

//about lucio and nadia being ares and athena: ares and athena's contrast in what they're representing in war is, i think, very similar to differences in lucio and nadia's view of leadership, what kind of rulers they wanted to be, and how they used their power to achieve their goals. lucio wanted to affirm his power by brute force and domination above all, punishing even those who help him (e.g. asra's parents), without thinking of long-term consequences. nadia sees that true power comes from strategy, maintaining balance, and a way of thinking that equally considers everyone's well-being.

muriel:

hades, the god of the dead. honestly my first reason for associating muriel with hades is hades' helm of invisibility, which instantly reminded me of muriel's gift-curse. another thing about hades that reminds me of muriel is how hades isn't often depicted in ancient greek art bc of people's fear of him, making his overall image very hazy, much like muriel doesn't leave any tangible memories of himself bc of his curse. they also resemble each other in how they are disconnected from the rest of the 'cast': in hades' case, it's how he's obliged to stay in the underworld to carry out his duty as the god of the dead, making it difficult for him to interact with other gods (besides, he himself doesn't show much interest in the affairs of the overworld); in muriel's case, it's how he also willingly chooses a solitary life in the woods, staying isolated from others

artemis, the goddess of wilderness, healing, purity. (she's also the goddess of hunt but that doesn't connect well with muriel so ignore that). she, like hades, is also a much more reserved goddess who prefers to stay in the forests surrounded only by animals and her nymphs (who are basically personified nature) than to participate in the olympians' drama. i would say that this comparison relies more on the importance of wild nature in relation to both artemis and muriel than on their character traits, since artemis doesn't hesitate to show her wrath and cruelty when punishing someone, unlike muriel

asra:

orpheus. i don't think it's really necessary to explain this choice if you're familiar with the myth

among the olympians, i would say that he resembles hermes the most — the god of roads, travelers, wit, humor, and too many other things to list them all. he has a unique role of a soul guide, who helps souls travel to the afterlife (well let's say that asra would be a soul guide for one particular soul and that he helped them travel back to life than vice versa). i'd say that hermes is a bit too mischevious and trickster-ish for asra, but i like how hermes' function of a traveler between realms fits to asra's magical abilities and frequent travels outside vesuvia.

ok i just realised that there's also hecate, the goddess of magic (!), crossroads, necromancy (!!) and ghosts — all things that asra is connected with, in some way. she, too, is a goddess who travels between realms. besides, people were placing shrines to hecate at the entrance of homes/temples to keep the dead spirits away, which reminds me of asra's protective spells against lucio's ghost. one of hecate's many symbols is a serpent, and, well... asra has faust, so...

julian: it was difficult to find a resembling enough figure for him, but here's what i decided:

dionysus, the god of wine, fertility, festivity, theatre. he's also referred to as a god of resurrection (!), and sometimes is said to be a foreigner (and i think the motif of being a foreigner is mostly present in julian's image, even though most of the m6 aren't native to vesuvia). despite dionysus being a popular god, there's a lot of uncertainty surrounding his origins and true identity, which could be tied to how julian likes to keep a mysterious external image of himself (imo) (and regarding dionysus' identity: he's sometimes said to be hades or zagreus, hades' son, both of which have death motifs, and, well, julian does have some deathly symbolism too)

note: i also thought of some similarities between julian and eros, but ultimately i didn't find this comparison fitting enough

portia:

hestia, the goddess of hearth, sacred fire, family. she is the youngest among children of cronus (after they were freed by zeus). she doesn't have much representation in mythology, being a non-confrontational and kind goddess who couldn't leave her duty of keeping the olympian hearth (therefore not taking part in any godly drama). still, she was very important to the greeks due to her being a keeper of the home and sacred fire: "among all mortals, she was chief of the goddesses." to say shortly, i think all these traits resemble portia very well, with her greatest assets being her caring, considerate and dutiful nature (she's literally responsible for the entire palace!!). and, like hestia, portia carries great importance in lives of the others without causing any drama or creating some aggrandized persona for herself: her sincere friendliness and attentiveness to others are enough for her to be greatly valued.

persephone, the goddess of spring, vegetation, nature (and the underworld but that's not really relevant in portia's case (afaik)). tbh this association is the least supported by facts, i just think portia and persephone have similar vibes

note: i must say that the arcana character whom i haven't gotten to know in much depth is portia, so i'm sorry if her description wasn't accurate enough

✦✦✦

that's all for my rambling today. thank you for reading! honestly this is the first time i'm writing smth like this, sorry if it's a bit all over the place (which it probably is). just wanted to finally write down these associations that have been plaguing my brain for some time now. (and i would be happy to read your thoughts on this too!)

last note: i definitely wouldn't call myself an expert on greek mythology, i mostly relied on my not-that-deep knowledge of it which i got from a bunch of different sources over the years + fact-checked some things while writing this. overall, don't take this too seriously

[mellowwhumps]

looks at you with my big blue eyes

Do your characters have any cool facts about their hair? Do they represent anything? Hair lore :3

big blue eyed blahaj guy is in my askbox LETS GOOOOOO HELLO LEM!!!! LOVE THIS ASK (check out his writing btw!! very awesome!! he’ll be doing an oc intro post soon as well so stay tuned)

YES!! yes all of them have hair lore it’s so fun i planning out hairstyles that are development-related…it’s so fun. scuffed question btw i know what you are (the correct answer is in my dms as the voice whispering in my ear to write)

also i stole your divider. mwahaha

————☆————

Haley - for the most part he keeps long hair because it’s natural…but because he’s so adamant on it being related to balance, not wanting any external factors to affect his perforrmance in battle, he doesn’t ever cut it. and this is meant to represent a lack of change! 

beyond a certain point he does start exploring other hairstyles even if he still doesn’t cut it, showing how he still is the same, mistakes can’t just be cut off like hair, but he shows an acceptance for growth and moving on!!

and of course i have to mention the braids!! because originally they are also a symbol of the past (with elowen, he braids them because they obscure his face when fighting + elowen is the one who taught him how) but they are also part of ria!! in the end, he is a mishmash of everyone he has ever loved

————☆————

Halcyon - her current hairstyle is extremely screwed up because if you actually imagine it untied one side is much much longer than the other!! and this also does have a part in her story too

because she’s been living on the streets for so long (old oc…generic backstory is a must but she’s so precious to me), her hair just got really really unkempt. split ends, everything, semi-long, and obviously that doesn’t give a good impression. so!! cerilux (her commander/senior) tells her to cut it! and, yknow, typically she would have obliged because she was a heavy people-pleaser…but halfway through she disagrees

and this does show the competence of cerilux for giving her a choice, since this is very important in halcyon’s character development!! since cerilux would have wanted her to have short hair like most of the other male recruits, since that’s the norm. but she wants to make that difference. 

the half that has long hair is sympathy for the others like her, the half that has short hair is the one that wants to protect, the one that, no matter how conformative, is still an act of change.

and of course her hair color! which is a very unnatural kingfisher-feather shape of blue (the bird she was themed off of). but actually the kingfisher’s feathers aren’t blue, but brown! no matter how much she’s idolized as a hero, perhaps, this is still her. she is no queen, unlike the one she serves. she’s just doing her job. but still she’s special, and so many other things that makes others admire her just as it is. in the end, nobody cares.

————☆————

Twelve - in querencia, their hair was LONG. like to the floor long. once again it is so messy. nobody cared about them, at least. but verrill doesn’t care. verrill spends half a day trying to maintain it since he knows they still don’t want to cut it even if they don’t say it. braids it, even, combs fingers through the hair of someone nobody else would touch. he cares so much about them even if that act was dooming them both…ouh

stuff goes down. verrill’s gone. and they still had that braid, really, never did want to fully take it out. they can’t remember why, the phantom of some caring touch in their memory. because no matter how much their memories fault and fade, other things sometimes don’t. by all means, they can’t let go, even if it is a hindrance. 

eventually, it is cut, though!! they don’t want to be burdened by it anymore. it shows their longing for something more, something better, something real.

never mentioned this to anyone before (very old concept), but in querencia, long hair is seen as weak! since it covers skin and makes them look less vulnerable, less free. hair is a confine, and though they do want short hair, they never could ask for it. they were weak before, but now they know how not to be while still being weak. on earth it isn’t the same and will never be the same, because dystopias and utopias aren’t earth.

maybe that’s why they liked emmei in the first place, because emmei gives them a place to be weak and they do the same in return. in the end, they’re both trying to live their own lives.

————☆————

Verrill - once again, long hair in his hometown was seen as weak! and of course he doesn’t want to be that way, so it’s kept mostly short. oh, but that isn’t the case. 

the front part of his hair is still long, still obscuring. he wears a scarf/cape to hide the parts of his neck that aren’t covered. he is not meant to escape. he is not strong enough to escape, despite him having so much compassion in him. he’s shackled.

it’s still hope. he hopes that one day people just will stop caring. one day something will happen, things will change. nothing happens. that’s what drove him to release twelve from their cage.

hope never changed anything for him. because of his act, he causes the downfall of an entire city. nonetheless, his hope does indirectly affect the one person he wants to save semi-positively. selfish, but it’s enough for him. in the end, he’s not a saint or a hero, just verrill. the warmth of the sun in winter, no matter how much it burns.

————☆————

Ria - not much here, actually! but the colors of her hair are dual-toned since she’s essentially a mix of the two kingdoms focused on in the main story!! a symbol of harmony, if you will. blue for hampton, the kingdom by the sea, and brown for irecel, the landlocked kingdom!!

silly fun fact she does the braid for herself because she learnt from watching haley!! while she does learn from him she won’t ever explicitly ask him to help her either, and that’s something that will be worked on :))

she has clips pinning her hair to the side as well because just like haley, she’s cautious on instinct and any threat can and will trigger a fight-or-flight response, so she doesn’t want hair to obstruct at least one of her eyes. but it’s not full coverage, because in the end, she’s still a child and still messes up.

————☆————

Elowen - honestly since his hair is the exact same for the first arc of the au with 🫵lem i have and it’s similar plot i’ll just. use the au LMAO (yes i know you’ve heard this before lem. do i care no i’ll say it again.)

so yes! his braid was originally at the back because that is a remnant of his past! his hair isn’t naturally too curly he just kinda. does it. and straight hair is easier to braid anyways!! but because it resembles a ponytail like naeri’s he just couldn’t wear it like that anymore when he left to form the syndicate.

but he does still keep the braid. because just like haley (or rather haley is just like him) he can’t fully let go of that past. in the original universe he died with the braid at the back because there is no change, he’s as stationary and closed-off as ever, but in this au i do allow him to!! 

and i was thinking that when the timeline ends he goes back to the braid at the back. because no, it’s not that he doesn’t want to change, it’s more of honoring the dead and learning to move on with the past, facing it headfirst and breaking through. in the end, the past does shape the future. which is also why i nicknamed the au ‘futures past’!! once again subject to change but fun fact of the day

————☆————

Ida - woah new ocs i swear i’ll do an intro post soon…anyways!! hard to describe it but yeah it’s undercut hair and yes is it really mello if i don’t try to relate it to identity

because!! he served in the military and the right side of his hair, which is cut, is meant to symbolise his time there! the part of him that he doesn’t know how to deal with, something that he can’t part with because it’s what changed him the most. and the left side of his hair which is left long is meant to symbolise his present! 

my honest thought process was i make this guy look as mascfem as possible because yes he is trans and no i do not know how to write dysphoria whump so this is the second best thing. have fun lem.

and yes! he does have a dark-purple streak in his hair. while he wants to rebel and be different from the others, it is still the purple of auxili’s (the laboratory he works for) logo. just like his entire outfit honestly…in the end, he is forever in control by them!!! he simply cannot escape! and that’s also some sort of screwed up metaphor for his identity as well. and also he’s a foreigner so that’s also symbolism. go get him yuuto 💥

————☆————

Ibys - another new character! ida’s fault this time for their hairstyle!! they refused to let him get close at first, but then one time ida was bored and he just. kind of started doing it. it’s not even out of care or anything, because he will always view ibys as a tool (he has to), but he braids their hair. (and they’re touch starved…)

after that, they just kind of assume that’s what he wants it to be like, so every day they turn up with that exact same hairstyle. ida obviously doesn’t notice because it isn’t really his job to care, as long as they can do their job he doesn’t mind. so that’s just how it is. after everything ends i like to think ida has a good laugh about it

however, as it is, their hairstyle wasn’t very good for seeing. so? solution? headband! since ida doesn’t really want to chop off their hair knowing they’d agree anyway. so now the headband’s just part of their attire.

it’s really symbolic in a sense since it shows their dedication towards him…since the hairstyle is extremely complicated, a mishmash of braids and random accessories, yet they do it every day. ida’s influence on them is extremely large since their last handler wasn’t exactly too kind, and yknow. 

parting hair to braid is just such an extremely intimate thing and for it to be done without any sort of emotion towards it on one side, while sparking the first semblance of freed emotion on the other…well. it’s complicated, but in the end still beneficial.

————☆————

and that’s it!! once again thank you for the ask lem…actually made me think about my characters more that’s crazy

[servantprincess]

When I was little I could always tell when the TV was on. Always.

mundane superpowers! mine’s never leaving behind anything in a hotel room, what’s yours?

[transgenderer]

so, when one consumes spec fic with the fact that its spec fic in mind, theres a mental posture of minimal skepticism one assumes. the characters themselves should still exhibit some skepticism (unless theyre like, children or something) to maintain verisimilitude, but generally youre willing to accept models of the world based on the "evidence" (either depicted events or described events, depending on the style) that you wouldnt normally, because alien world-structures are part of the whole point

anyway, with that as background, i think theres a lot of potential to probe the edges of this askepticism (some people describe it as suspension of disbelief, but i think thats actually subtly different, and has to do more with accepting events that contradict coherent internal structure for the sake of narrative/emotional convenience) by placing your work uncomfortably between spec fic and fiction set in the real world, or a closely-alternate real world. theres a desire to cleanly fit a story into one or the other, often expressed through the idea that fantastical elements are the result of a characters perception, or we're seeing inside a dream at times, or the irrealisms arejust stylism, etc.

big joel has a good video about pushing this boundary in my neighbor totoro, and i think ive discussed this before in reference to terra ignota which (spoilers) starts off immediately forcing us to accept fantasical elements (more than hard sci fi fantastical, magic-fantastical), but keeps these elements deniable for most of the story, slowly making them more and more central to the "realistic" aspects of the story until they cant be ignored, and to reject them you must imagine a whole alien story happening behind the story we see and filtered through the delusions of the narrator, and yet the story we see is so fantastical that to accept it wholesale is uncomfortable. palmer forces us to balance unsteadily on that line

but what i really wanna talk about is the northern caves! which i got kind of sidetracked from. anyway, i think the northern caves is doing this, and doing it hard. theres a comparatively simplistic reading of TNC, where its just an exploration of delusion and scrupulosity and the weird social/mental stuff that goes on in early fan communities. and the story lets you keep this reading throughout almost the entire thing, but (spoilers i guess) it gives you those deaths at the end, and immediately places you in that uncomfortable middle ground! you can excise those events from the story, and interpret it cleanly, acceptably, "litfic"-ly, or try to explain them away as a coincidence, or totally un-supernatural, whatever.

but i think doing this loses something! or it...betrays the purpose of doing a Reading, of Interpretation. we have to take a work in its whole, thats the point of a work, to exist as a whole-thing, yknow? one can cut and paste any story into any other story. so if we take the deaths as real, and important, then were forced to accept that in the world of TNC, theres something real to mundum, that it's maybe not magic but is at the very least important, so important that its words have power. and then what would it mean for glasswave to be somehow right, what would that *tell* us, yknow? idk. its complicated. art

[fisherrprince]

"I would also like to go off about titles in daybreak too. Lady, lord, master, foreteller…. All very made up in the moment, but if you give it to kids and say that’s how it is, they’re going to make it real"

PLEASE GO OFF

H-CCOUUUUGHH HACK HACK COUGH

OKAY SO THERE ARe there are two ways, this can go. One thing we know for sure is Ava, at least, was close with her kids, or at the very least Ephemer. He chats with her very casually. Another thing we know is the Foretellers are not consistently Around, they’re rather secluded and rare to just encounter on the street. They are also pretty much given mastery over their unions, and the kids do what they say. Lady, Master, and Foreteller mean the same thing. So, what this means is, either the titles they receive as apprentices to the Master of Masters are for all intents and purposes decorative, or they aren’t. How did I extrapolate from those two points come on a journey with me that will not explain how I got there

AUGH AND I LOST A WHOLE DRAFT HERE BUT I’LL TRY TO REPLICATE IT BEST I CAN. OKAY SO THERE ARE TWO SCENARIOS HERE and the two can mix it’s not mutually exclusive in here. Scenario 1. The titles are decorative. the foretellers know or know of basically every kid in their unions, they know their strengths and battle prowess and weaknesses and quirks. Ava is the leader, her name is Lady Ava, but it’s Lady Ava to distinguish her from Ava the 14 year old in Ursus. They lead in like… a camp counselor way. Advice, rallying, etcetcetc. Teachers. When Daybreak falls, Ephemer and the survivors build Scala out of the same basic structure. They see, though, the ruin that unions brought, so they change unions PLURAL to union SINGULAR, creating like… a monarchy, not a plutarchy. Ephemer leads the kids like Ava would. The aggregate citizens of Scala carry this on and extrapolate from it. Mastery is the highest rank, often accompanied by a title or an epithet to designate you master (think professors). So, Aqua could technically choose to be called Lady Aqua. However, Ephemer’s mastery lineage remains in power. Keyblade succession follows this rule, passed down from Master to apprentice if the Keyblade so chooses to persist. “Blueblood” is shorthand for… basically who Blaine’s keyblade has chosen to be next, avatar style.

scenario 2. The titles are given more weight. There are simply too many kids, Lord Ira cannot hope to know them all. They’re like the professors of those huge auditorium classes, or like enigmatic and mysterious leaders who give out tasks and promise rewards, increasingly against the other leaders’. Who knows where they are, or what they plan to do, but we know they’re powerful, and we know they know more than us, they’re called foretellers. My union leader taught me this — he taught me this. Thus, the kids learn to tie the titles and the masks and the knowledge and the mastery to each other in a bundle. They basically make knights’ oaths without even realizing that’s what theyre doing. When they make it to Scala, Ephemer is the only one in that spot, the only one who really truly knows everything — so whether he wants it or not, he’s getting a rank, and a title, and a statue. that’s just how they live, and Ephemer needs to give them SOME structure, or those poor kids will fall apart. It’s not bad, it’s gentle. He takes that responsibility, just like he already did once. Scala carries it on, and keeps going. In a divine souls sort of way, Lineage, not succession, is the way the ““monarch”” is chosen. Familial line becomes tied in with that whole bundle too, and the Keyblade stays in the family.

this is all. Very much heavier based on how the keyblade’s purpose is to maintain balance in the worlds. It’s such a weighty purpose. Wouldn’t it be easier to have someone shoulder that burden, and you just help then any way you can? Have one person, or a set of people, who can think about that for you? They, those who know, they have the right to direct. I think Scala started to go brrrooooo with that idea. Masters and Apprentices, yes — plenty of those. Teachers and students. All under… something. Some aggregate of things. Something tangible to be loyal to. Seekers are just masters who chose not to teach, to research instead (Scala Really is just dark academia), Masters are just professors, SOMEONE is in charge.

and thus the title system becomes a way to distinguish rank in the Literal way, not just the flippant way. Daybreak would function like we functioned playing it — missions are missions from Lord Gula. Dailies are dailies if you want to stay on top. Union rankings are important. They’re the same things, but with completely different vibes. Either the kids were going along with the war because what else would they do, or they were going along with it because what else would they do but follow yknow

if Scala extrapolates on this teaching, ostensibly made up by the Master and then carried on because they didn’t really know any other kind of societies, they can take it a more casual way or a more rigid way, basically. And I think they took it more rigidly. But Scala isnt important here actually Daybreak is as THEYRE the nexus of creating this odd new system where Everyone has this responsibility to the universe and a soul weapon and magic right. If I’m a kid promising a foreteller I will do anything to keep the light safe and collect Lux for you, Master Invi, whatever you ask of me, and she says good job, you’re a good student, there ought to be more keybearers as upright as you. What do you think that’ll do.

TO SAY NOTHING OF THE MORAL ABSOLUTISM THE FORETELLERS ARE SO FOND OF PREACHING and which MUST extend into dark road seeing as Eraqus is allowed to be Like That and Xehanort’s much more moderate take is kind of perceived as iffy. Even tho the narrative is like ( :/ hes got a point). If THEYRE right, and you my child can be wrong but if you follow you can be right too. tell me that doesn’t sound like a hotbed for the birth of paladins come on . mom wants some paladins. eraqus is just a case of deep rooted That.

anyways Um. pay me to write fake history and anthropology books about fake places but don’t actually because they will not have correct grammar

[honeybee-babe]

cw for ed-ish stuff so feel free to skip if you aren't in the right place of mind to deal with that: I've been really strugling with binging urges lately and I was wondering if you could share some Luther hcs or other thoughts you've had about him and food stuff? How do you think it would go if one of the others walked in on him binging (someone who's sympathic about it)?

TW: Eating disorders and body dysmorphia, mentions of sexual assault

oof i’ve let this sit here for far too long. soz! been busy af. :( 

First off, I hope things have gotten better for yoU!! I have been in a similar boat lately literally binging and restricting for weeks on end. It’s getting better but it really is hard to break these cycles, it requires a lot of strength. But you are strong enough and i know you can get through it

ANYWAY:

HCs and Thoughts on Luther’s ED (this got very wordy/rambly):

tbh i see luther as a comfort eater, esp. bc he ate those 10 hot dogs when he was sad and feeling sorry for himself. yes finding out that reginald was lying to him was awful and truly traumatic but people without already disordered eating don’t just up and eat 10 hotdogs when they’re sad. that is an extreme binge for someone at any size, plus he seemed ashamed of it when allison brought it up: AND not to mention the only other thing we ever see him eat post-change is a weird nutritional pouch and eventually alcohol.

on the moon, Luther must have eaten in rations and definitely would have been counting calories. Plus with the nutritional pouch thing we can assume he is restricting when back on earth and the hotdogs were a binge, therefore Luther is a binge/restricter.

EVEN in the flashback to before the serum we see him eating way too little for his size (way too little for his size before the change, mind you). He eats a single bowl of cereal without any juice or anything to wash it down, which is just not an adequate breakfast for Tom Hopper’s Actual Body(TM), especially if he was going to train later that day. And then after this sad breakfast he drinks a ton of milk. IDK if this is a stretch but that in itself is kind of disordered; the milk was definitely a comfort food for him which indicates that he is an emotional eater (IE extra calories because he feels lonely), a predisposition to disordered eating before the serum. He clearly prefers to get most of his calories from liquids, which continues and gets worse after the change.

I imagine Reginald was particularly strict with him about food. Since his power was physical strength, Reginald probably gave him a strict diet and exercise routine. Counting macros and calories, etc. Going under or over his limit was probably a huge, HUGE fucking deal. And maintaining perfect body image as the big, strong #1 was definitely a giant deal to Reginald bc Luther had to look intimidating. That, along with the pressure to be perfect, is a recipe for anorexia or bulimia. Luther definitely is the type to take corrective measures: binging and then following it with purging or restricting, or intense exercise.

Additionally, with the smiley-faced foods, I imagine the kids were taught to see Grace’s food as comfort. I see Grace giving them treats to make them feel better when Reginald was a dick. These good intentions definitely could have convinced Luther that food was comfort and nurturing but something Reginald wouldn’t allow him to have. So the overwhelming urge to eat and eat and eat (BINGE) when he is very upset, followed by an urge to restrict.

And definitely a deep, deep shame about all of this. If anyone found out, Luther would be crushed.

Literally the stereotype for someone with an eating disorder is someone who feels they lack control over their life trying to overcompensate by controlling their food intake. And someone who is striving to be perfect either because someone has told them they have to be (*COUGH*Reginald) or convinced them that they will never be good enough unless they are (*COUGH*Also Reginald). Luther embodies this mentality; he wants to be perfect for Reginald, but Reginald has set Luther up to hate himself because he can never be perfect (perfection is a myth), and also Luther has literally no control over his life because Reginald controls everything. It is thought that many young teenagers develop eating disorders because they are afraid of the changes their bodies experience during puberty, the underlying problem being that they are afraid of growing up; Luther literally still lives at home and is absolutely afraid of growing up.

Ape body obviously makes things 100000x worse. And we see in the show that his poor eating habits (small bowl of cereal and relying on milk for liquid calories/comfort food) have gotten even worse (liquid calories in packages clearly restricted until a MASSIVE binge on hotdogs)

MIGHT I ADD: Sexual assault survivors are much more likely to experience disordered eating because the lack of control over what happened to them and the hatred of the body that has been “tainted” or reminds them of being assaulted..... Luther’s consent over his body was clearly taken away during the ape-body operation.

Thoughts on Someone Walking in on him Binging:

This is real tough. I feel like Allison isn’t really aware of it due to her reaction to him eating 10 hotdogs and not saying anything about it. IDC if he is big, 10 hotdogs is abnormal especially given how little he used to eat, and the fact that he currently only eats those weird fucking packages. I feel like, loving as she is, she wouldn’t really understand it. I feel like Allison has a really healthy relationship with food, probably the healthiest out of all of them. She is the most well-balanced sibling I think. But once she realized it was a problem she would do a ton of research into BED/Bulimia/EDNOS or whatever Luther has and become an expert and advocate, as well as helping him in recovery.

Same with Diego but I feel like he would probably joke about it and then after Luther either told him to fuck off or hide the evidnece, he would realize it was a serious problem but not want to apologize or know what to do. I feel like he’d be concerned but not want to express it, so he’d tell Klaus about it and make him bring it up. After Luther entered into recovery Diego would keep updated through Klaus but not express concern to Luther himself. 

Five... oof I feel like Five would just be like “yup thats how i ate during the apocalypse” and not really understand? Like i don’t think he’s evil but he would probably not find it very serious. Once he found out (if he ever did) that it was serious, I feel like he’d be accomodating (checking in if Luther ate his dinner, if he snuck food out of the pantry etc.) but not particularly warm or comforting.

TBH I see Klaus and Vanya being the most understanding Vanya would definitely understand the urge to make yourself seem as small/insignificant as possible, and Klaus obviously understands mental health issues and addiction (ED is an addiction!) 

Klaus might not realize what was going on at first and make a joke, but i think he’d realize real soon bc he understands unhealthy coping. he would probably joke around with him still in the same way that he jokes about his own addictions, but i feel like he would be very comforting, like solidarity yknow? Maybe he would make a pact with him that they would recover from their addictions together.

I feel like Vanya would just be super supportive and quietly soothing. Like if Luther got uncomfortable she would use a rlly soft caring voice. this is sappy but i feel like if Luther was ever to talk openly to a sibling or cry in front of one of them about his body issues, it would be Vanya.

OKAY THAT WAS WAY TOO LONG OF A RESPONSE AND I HAVE TO GET BACK TO WORK.

NIGHT NIGHT!!

[aeternallis]

Reylo’s happy ending: a rant / nonsensical thoughts on it

Y’know, as a Reylo fan I sometimes get so caught up in wishing and hoping for this ship to have a happy ending in EPIX that I forget about the fact that I don’t actually know what that so-called “happy ending” would entail.

In my head, I do want both Ben Solo and Rey to be alive and together by the finale of the film, but thinking about the nuances of what comes after the “I love you”s and the kisses and overcoming everything else to be together becomes a little bit more murky for me.

This in and of itself is both wonderful and kinda nerve-wracking; I want to savor the time this fandom has with the theories and speculations and the endless meta and fanworks, while also grappling with time to hurry itself up already so it’s December 2019. It’s a strange mindfuck all on its own, IMO.

For example, as much as I love my domestic fluff, I don’t see these two running off somewhere to live in a dreamy, Scottish-esque cottage somewhere and having a normal life. As characters, they’re both naturally passionate people who want to make a difference in the galaxy. Even if they have yet to meet halfway with their opposing viewpoints, I can’t help but feel that their end goals are relatively the same.

At the same time though, I don’t want Reylo to end up being in HanLeia’s situation in the future, where each of them chose their professional careers over facing the problems they had as a family; ten, twenty years from now if they decide to continue this frandchise with a new trilogy, it would break my heart if we were to see Reylo separated.

It sounds dramatic and extra af, but I do admit it freely.

When I think about the older fans who hated TFA and how they loathed what Disney did with the OT trio’s characters, although I don’t agree with them, I can’t help but also feel bad for them, yknow? Return of the Jedi gave a “happily ever after” to HanLeia, but their “happily ever after” didn’t last. When the OT fans next see HanLeia in TFA, they’re separated (almost akin to a divorce, really) and although the audience can clearly see they love each other, the accumulation of the painful choices they made in their lives could also be felt.

In essence, the older generation who loved the OT trio were forced to confront the imperfections and the tragic humanity of their heroes. Thinking about it this way, it’s not really a surprise some of them are cursing the sequel trilogy to hell and back. 😔

But getting back to HanLeia, in retrospect, one could argue that this couple’s clashing personalities just couldn’t last long term, realistically speaking. After all, for all its boast of garnering inspiration from myths and fairytales and the Hero’s Journey and whatnot, SW also tends to hit too close to home at times. For those who genuinely loved the love story of the OT, it must’ve been so disappointing to see that one of the most legendary couples in this franchise weren’t really...a couple anymore.

Even if I know it’s ridiculous for me to be afraid that that’s what Disney may do the next time we see Reylo in another trilogy, it’s a thought that lingers in the back of my mind.

At the same time though, I do comfort myself in the thought that, at least compared to HanLeia, Reylo would be a little bit more welcoming and acclimatized to the idea of sharing a home and building a family together (should Disney go with this route). Whereas HanLeia both wanted something different in their lives (Han with wanting to maintain his freedom as a smuggler and Leia continuing her work for the Rebellion/Resistance), Reylo have a common desire in that they both want to find belonging.

HanLeia valued their professional lives over everything else; Reylo’s professional lives, the way I see it, are really just a means to an end to get what they both want in life: belonging.

Thinking about it, neither Rey or Ben started out wanting to make a difference in the galaxy (don’t @ me, I know I’m going contradicting what I said earlier in this post): Rey wanted her parents to come back to her and Ben wanted to find a balance to the internal conflict of light and dark within him, to give him answers. What they still want in life is essentially the same, even if how they go about attaining it is vastly different.

Does this fundamental difference between these two couples make a difference? I’d like to think so; if anything, it gives Reylo all the more reason to find balance together, as I believe meeting each other halfway would benefit them both in trying to overcome whatever problems they will face in the future, when their political differences inevitably collide.

Compared to the other couple, in which although they genuinely loved each other, couldn’t negotiate a meeting in the middle between their personal/professional lives.

Ofc, this could also just be nonsense on my part, and the simple reality is that I just gotta calm tf down. 🤣

Either way, my life as a Reylo shipper must go on~

[garden-ghoul]

more HoME misc

“in which the ghoul pages desperately through a 3500 page document with no search function, looking for the shibboleth of feanor”

I’m not blogging leithian mk 1 any more but I just want to note that Chris included a detailed list of all the things that are long and tall, as an end note. He like, spent his entire life trying to decipher Johnald’s notes, so he could bring to us the faintly-pencilled name and origin of Nan, the giant of the south.

As I got lost somewhere in the beginning of “the tale of turambar” I started wondering why so many of our human heroes are intimately involved with Doriath, “the secret kingdom no-one can go into.” If we add Gondolin (”the other even more secret kingdom that REALLY no-one can go into”) I think ALL of the human heroes of the Silmarillion are involved with one of the two. Not counting heroes like Haleth who tragically didn’t get any dialogue. Is it just that the only humans who are heroes are the ones Special enough to trip into hidden kingdoms? Fate junk? Probably fate junk.

I was sort of skimming through Turin stuff and my eye was caught by Saeros (”Orgof”) insulting Turin’s... uncombed hair? Cute. In this one Turin throws a cup at him, killing him instantly, and everyone just kind of sits there silently at the overturned table as he runs out of the hall.

Turin laved his hands in the stream without the doors and burst there into tears, saying: "Lo! Is there a curse upon me, for all I do is ill, and now is it so turned that I must flee the house of my fosterfather an outlaw guilty of blood -- nor look upon the faces of any I love again."

Aw, Neithan. You neith’d yourself, dude.

I also want to mention (again?) that I really like Melkor being well known as a guy with an actual kingdom, where people worked. Granted, they were all Thralls, but he seemed a lot more like all of the other immortals who established kingdoms in Beleriand. I didn’t get the impression in the early drafts that like Everyone Was United Against Him. He was just an asshole neighbor? (later, in the Nauglafring story, we actually get the line “and there was peace with Melkor.”) This makes me suspect that the Porous Shadow of Doom overlaying the world in the final Children of Hurin would be a lot less huge and pervasive. But I’m not actually going to read it, just skim it. It was like 8 liveblogs long, or something, geez.

A manifestation of this lessened Porous Shadow of Doom is that when Turin returns home it’s late summer rather than winter; the grass has grown tall around Morwen’s house, and when Turin makes it to Brodda’s hall he doesn’t even pretend to be cowed, he immediately starts fucking things up. So, in that way, the original version of CoH was a lot less about Depression.

Also in this version Nienor doesn’t lose her ability to speak, so when Turin finds her and names her Niniel she can actually say “no don’t call me that.” He calls her that anyway. When she goes to live with Turin’s friends in Brethil they all constantly say “Would that the Valar would lift the curse on Niniel!” I can only aspire to be that obviously cursed, yknow.

AH. AT LAST HERE IS THE NAUGLAFRING. I can’t even remember if I’ve read it before but I Have Been Waiting.

I’m taking a break here to eat dinner because not eating makes me really stupid. Have you eaten recently? Are you stupid? If so, maybe have a snack! Sometimes I wish the internet would periodically remind--oh, no, I have a Personal Device for this exact purpose. Mm. peace out.

I’M BACK. After reading a couple paragraphs of this I realized I have read it before, but I didn’t blog it because I was procrastinating on CoH. Hurin has brought a bunch of cursed treasure to Tinwelint (do you like my horrible mixture of “canonical” and “noncanonical” names) and departed without taking any, in a huff. Then everyone in Menegroth starts murdering each other over this treasure; Tinwelint wins, and his wife (now named Gwenniel; I don’t understand how Tolkien could fail to get attached to ANY of the names he put in his first drafts) soothsays to him that he should dump it in the river because it is TRIPLE CURSED. He does, but then he stares at it for a while because, cursed. Gwenniel tells him that this isn’t even worth a third of what a Silmaril is, but like, are Silmarils useful for anything? Do they, strictly speaking, have any worth beyond the prestige value associated with possessing something super evil rare?

Some visitor says that it’s a crime to let all that gold go to waste when it could instead be used to make pretty things (natch, he is a guy who hangs out with Naugrim) and Tinwelint looks at his jewelry and is like “dang. I am a king and I do not look NEARLY that fine. please make something nice for me.” but he also grabs the elf guy and takes him hostage in a really impolite way. I have seen a lot more polite hostage-takings in the Silmarillion! Some so polite that the hostages didn’t even notice!

There’s a bunch of stuff here that I actually really enjoy, mostly descriptions of treasure, but I’m not going to blog it because I’m too lazy. I just want to note that I really enjoy the descriptions of treasure made by the Naugrim (in captivity). It’s very much the same impulse that led me to page for hours and hours through the LotR prop jewelry recreations magazines that my household for some reason received monthly when I was young.

Mm and then there’s a bunch of naugla/elda murders that I don’t care about. UGH and halfway through this story he changed Melian’s name back to Gwendelin. STG Tolkien!! Later someone is trying to kidnap her and we get this great bit:

Then said Gwendelin: "Thief and murderer, child of Melko, yet art thou a fool, for thou canst not see what hangs over thine own head." By reason of the anguish of her heart was her sight grown very clear, and she read by her fay-wisdon the curse of Mim and much of what would yet betide.

Then did Naugladur in his triumph laugh till his beard shook, and bid seize her: but none might do so, for as they came towards her they groped as if in sudden dark, or stumbled and fell tripping each the other, and Gwendelin went forth from the places of her abode, and her bitter weeping filled the forest. Now did a great darkness fall upon her mind and her counsel and lore forsook her...

The moral of the story is there’s a fine balance of anguish you have to maintain to be really good at seeing the future. IMO it’s probably “really sad but not depressed.” Oh um also, Huan is there. He works for Tinwelint now. I’m extremely offended, because this means Tolkien killed him EXPRESSLY because he was dating Luthien and Beren in the final lay. He killed Huan just so we couldn’t have nice things! And to make a point about Huan’s death metaphor, I guess. It was very artful, but I’m still mad we can’t have gay.

There’s some more murders. The asshole with nice jewelry is haunted by Gwendelin’s Glare. Oh! Luthien actually gets to meet her mom again! Haha Gwenelin says not to wear Nauglamir because it is SUPER CURSED but Beren is like “don’t worry about it! The Silmaril is so holy it cancels out all curses!” Which reveals a severe misunderstanding of what a Silmaril is, I think. Unless the Silmaril curse is stronger than all the other curses and it eats them, maybe? Like helpful strains of E. coli. Except then it mutates into a harmful strain of E. coli again--no, I’m sure there’s a better biology metaphor for this that I’m not thinking of. it was a harmful strain in the first place.

After this there’s more murders, this time feat. some Feanorions. And with that (skipping the story of Earendel) we have come to the end of Lost Tales pt 2! Next one is Lays of Beleriand, which I am going to attempt to skip because I have read all the good ones already. But I have to skip it manually so we’ll see I guess.