#the bad kids dont know they're in a work of fiction

[delinquentbookworm]

i love how much disdain the Bad Kids already have for kipperlily copperkettle, because she hasn't even done anything yet. she's just some random kid they bumped into for like ten minutes and she's managed to inspire this pure venomous frothing-at-the-mouth level of hatred, based entirely on vibes.

[crushedsweets]

Would you ever consider including nurse ann in more of your art/ stories? She's one of my favorite characters and I think your design for her is amazing lmao- I'd also sort of like to know what her relationship with the others would be like

yes. actually. i would love to . ok i have some vague ideas for how shed fit into the lore so thatll be under the cut !! i also start rambling about lulus lore too cuz i decided theyre friends.

ok so, again, my au is based around slenders forest being like... some sort of magnet for the paranormal. slenderman wants to keep all of these cryptids within the forest.

since its in a fictionalized forest in tuscaloosa, where marble hornets was filmed, i decided to move the abanonded hospital they visited up north of the tuscaloosa lake. she roams there.

SOOOOO nurse ann is just... a demon. slenders forest is sort of like limbo for a lot of the cryptids and kinda puts them in like.. a long daze and loops unless they're consistently leaving or being grounded by humans.

i dont EXACTLY know why/how she's in that specfic hospital, especially since i dont believe she has an official origin? maybe when the hospital shut down, she was let go and wasn't transferred to work in a new hospital, so she lost her shit and preformed some crazy rituals that ended up making her an undead nurse ? now she's forever roaming the hospital. or maybe she was killing patients when she was a human and kept doing weird demon shit with their bodies and the operator/zalgo fed off of her bad vibes. LOL IDK.

now about lulu cuz i drew her too.

i used to be sooo fond of lulu. and i originally said she was just going to be another ghost roaming the forest pointlessly, mourning everything and being incapable of interacting with humans, BUUUUUT. she is 24 and NOT A GHOST?!?!??!?! IDK WHY ALL THIS TIME I THOUGHT SHE WAS JUST A GHOST WHO AGES CUZ YK HOW CHIBIWORKS STUFF WAS BACK THEN LOL... i def am tired of little kids being tortured and all these children ghosts tho so im kinda glad to have smth new to write. anyway. so im thinking lulus just another little demon thing... i'm thinking her story goes.

she was in strict private schools all of k-12, and went to uni on her own in tuscaloosa. she wanted to branch out, have a little rebelious phase, make friends, etc. tried to join a co-ed frat. she experienced an absolutely horrific hazing when she was like 19, the frat fully believed they killed her by accident and in their panic, tried to bury her in slenders forest, and some demonic entity in the forest infected her before she was buried fully. she ends up climbing out of her shallow grave, never having died. perhaps the operator did it, perhaps zalgo like in her og lore ? PERHAPS ANN CUZ SHES A DEMON HERSELF?

anywaaayyyyy :3 l think theyd be cute friends. they just look really cute together and i could see good chemistry so i totally would love to expand on them and make them friends. maybe expand more on the type of species they are, what kind of powers they have(esp if i make ann the demon who infects lulu).

BUUUUT ALSO this made me realize i should totally look into adding zalgo to my lore. cuz it doesnt make sense for the operator to make anyone a demon, thats not really what he does.... and i dont want him to do that i just dont like the vibes. so mmm yes.

anyway in terms of relationships..

lulu and her are cool good besties beautiful they would take selfies and do tiktok dances together.

masky and hoody are incredibly indifferent to her, because they dont have to worry/visit her often. she stays in the hospital thats in the forest, and thats exactly where slenderman wants her, so theyre content. theyre kinda grateful she keeps lulu in the hospital too, cuz lulu actually freaks them out bc she'll be jumping at them and shit talking about their eyes.

tobys EXTREMELY scared of ghosts (bc of his hallucinations of his sisters ghost . . ). he eventually gets over it(kinda?) with sally, but he keeps accusing ann and lulu and the sort of being ghosts cuz they just.. kinda pop in and out. at least jack has to walk into the room to show up. so he doesnt like them

mmm jack wouldnt like her IF he knows that she kinda turned herself into a demon through like, a ritual or smth. he'd be beyond pissed to know someone CHOSE to be what he is. if he doesnt know, he doesnt care for her. he kinda jokes about 'well why dont YOU be their medic' and shes like 'dont fuckin wanna be'.

jane and liu and kate prob dont know her... kate might but wouldnt care.

jeff would prob think shes hot or some bullshit and nina would be beyond pissed. at first ninas like AHHH SHES SO COOL cuz shes a fangirl at heart, but the second she hears a single 'goddamn' from jeff shes livid.

ben prob wouldnt care much for her... hes so uninterested in demons idk why i just feel like he doesnt care.

clockwork would LOVE HER. she'd think she's so fucking cool. she'd try talking to her all the time but ann prob wouldnt be interested in clocky at all...

ofc the proxies purposefully come into contact with the paranormal the most because thats their job, so i wrote the most for them, but that doesn't mean theyre the closest or anything.

ok thank u anon you did smth to my brain that benefitted my mental health cuz i love writing this shit for the creeps thank u sm .

[pngjamie]

as long as it's fictional or semi-fictional characers and tagged properly, i don't think there should be any problem with proshippers. don't you think this moral-policing is totally backwords /gen ? the internet was, is, and will be wild, and it's not like anyone shipped is getting hurt because, again, they're fictional (case differs for nonfictional characters)

Im not worried about fictional characters? i know theyre not real even if its gross to be desensitized like that, im talking about real people and the the real affects ive firsthand seen for years that people in vulnerable mental states or younger kids get from having incest, pedophilia and abuse normalized to them. Again not just normalized but romanticized and fetishized. I dont specifically get what you mean by "the internet is and will be wild" though I will readily say I generally agree, however that doesn't mean im gonna become complacent with the normalization + desensitization of shit like proshipping??? Obviously im just some guy I cant change the internet, but I will always do my best to educate and help police the communities im in and the community made by my works. If things were completely hidden incredibly hard to find and constantly had "its bad, this is fiction, its dangerous" and that was a HEAVY Forefront emphasis I'd maybe let up a little if not for the remaining desensitization and normalization of literal abuse, pedophilia and incest but again that's not what I ever see. Let alone why this conversation started to begin with its people going "idc, these characters are cute<3" and not disclaiming or clarifying anywhere that proshipping is incredibly wrong. I dont mind being questioned if never explained to you/others before but to you and any others, continuing to ask "okay but its not real so who cares it doesnt affect anyone" is just, ignoring my points. If you truly genuinely see no wrong in it and youre here to make your point clear, not to challenge your thinking, then disrespectfully get off my page and block me. I am making it clear now and will always make it clear, I am not changing my mind on this. I have seen the effect normalization of proshipping has on people and its revolting and traumatizing to see. Ive in the past debated with myself to make sure i felt confident on having such a strong opinion and ive had my mind settled SINCE then and its not changing.

[lelianaslefthand]

OC Tag Game

i was tagged by @gaysebastianvael thank you!!! i think most people have done it or been tagged already idk if you havent and want to say i tagged you <3

ive been mostly seeing rooks so after debating for a day i went with azzie bc i dont talk about her as much

Name: Asphodel Ingellvar Alias: Rook Gender: Cis woman Age: 32 Place of Birth: Nevarra Spoken Language: Common. nevarra apparently doesnt have its own language Sexual Orientation: Bisexual Occupation: Guard dog Mourn Watcher

Favorites...

Color: wine/boysenberry

Entertainment: reading or puzzle games. really likes watching music performances too

Pastime: does a lot of sparring for fun. also likes watching emmrich work

Drink: something like the thedas equivalent of a shirley temple. a random sweet kinda fruity thing

Books: prefers non-fiction. mostly stuff about like wars and major historical events. 🫵 NERD

Have they...

Passed University: im gonna say she did well in both academics and the warrior training part of her education with the mourn watch

Had Sex: a few dalliances here and there

Had Sex in Public: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Gotten Tattoos: A Lot. like basically head to toe. some have meaning some don't

Gotten Piercings: she has a couple! in my head she has a nose ring, a medusa, lip ring, and eyebrow piercing. also her nipples 😏 oh and a few ear piercings too, mostly gold rings

Gotten Scars: less than you'd think bc i feel like the mourn watch would have very skilled healers. she got the one on her lip like a month into traveling with varric and harding after taking a blow to the face

Had a Broken Heart: yes but not necessarily only in a romantic context

Been in Love: she's loved but none of her romantic endeavors were serious. nothing to write theoretical home about

Are they...

A Cuddler: she doesn't seek it out unless she's having a bad day or feeling sentimental but she enjoys it more than she lets on. emmrich knows this and is usually the one to initiate to which she has no complaints.

Scared Easily: nope! doesnt even really have anxiety about much either

Jealous Easily: not really but she's very protective and the lines can blur

Trustworthy: very much so but she isn't a pushover which throws some people off.

Family...

Siblings: who knows! if she hadnt been left in the necropolis she strikes me as an only child but also an older cousin. which might not make sense to you but it makes sense to me

Parents: vorgoth lmfao. i havent thought about her family origin story much tbh

Children: i was gonna say no just manfred bc we know how i feel about giving ocs kids But, i could see her and emmrich adopting. 2 kids max and they're adopted at like age 5 or up.

Pets: rat mom. i can imagine her defending their honor "they're actually very intelligent and gentle creatures!" she'd teach them tricks and stuff. one did nip at manfred though bc he stuck his finger in the cage and they thought it was a treat but he still likes to watch them scurry about.

[maskedteaser]

hii i just saw the rdr2 matchups you did and i love them AND HOLY SHIT APEX FAN‼️‼️ i love how detailed you are!! love your writing!! so if ur not too overwhelmed with requests id like to make one :3 and honestly if ur doing matchups for apex id love that too there's so little apex ffs, especially x reader </3 no pressure tho!!

anyways as for me. uhh. i don't use labels (aside from being asexual) but am pretty masculine in gender, and my love is for any gender. my pronouns are he/him :3

more about me,, im vegetarian, my favorite animal is the octopus, im chronically ill & disabled, which means i have chronic pain and have pretty bad sleep (literally writing this at 10 am after not being able to sleep all night) but despite that i have a weird paradox where i am kinda strong? like i can pick ppl up. but can't have much activity for a long time lest i cast spell 200 bpm on myself. but for the sake of the ff i could totally bench press arthur morgans 180lb of pure muscle. its true <3

in apex i main wattson and bloodhound! but i also like crypto, octane ofc (who doesn't), loba, and... im sorry.. wraith 😭 i got wattsons heirloom after. a very long time of opening packs AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH no regrets!! french girl with giant nessie plush!!!!! tho i haven't played in forever (and honestly may keep it that way with how much they're nerfing bloodhound.. like.. c'mon man.. not my main.. they've already been nerfed so much 😭)

i recently started playing rdr2 cause im visiting family that has it (theres actually been a lot of funny stories being on an unfamiliar console, like playing 22+ hours and reaching chap 2 without knowing how to save.. and i didnt know how to tell arthurs weight so i kept him underweight for so long my poor starving man </3) after playing rdr1 quite a bit. i also vibed with john hard in 1 but i lowkey thought he was an angsty young adult in rdr2 and not a FATHER. my favs are arthur and javier tho i can barely see the latter cause where tf is he on the map?? same with charles where IS HE??? but anyways i also vibe so hard with kieran.

tho i could talk forever about my interests, other than that for personality: id describe myself as actually kinda confident around strangers, i love to compliment ppl i come across. for friends, much of the same, i like using improv as humor if that makes sense, ive been told im easy to talk to, i consider myself intuitive (also contributed to me being a tarot reader i believe), but i am the type to have a veeerryy hard time expressing negative feelings im having, and never crying in front of people, so no shortage of bottling emotions. im also rather rigid on cleanliness and WILL start tweaking if me/my space goes too long w/o cleaning. i really, really care about people (i would want to be a paramedic!! if my body could allow it..) and i so want to make peoples lives better!! but also can rather easily stop people from walking over me, should they try. i care about kids a lot, and get very peeved when other ppl dont know how kids brains work and mistreat them because of such, and cause they just have no respect for children. honestly with thinking like.. about formulating matchmaking requests i never really seem to think about what id want out of a person. honestly, just when someone cares (wow, such high standards) but should the time come, mmmost times im not afraid to make a selfish ask. most. maybe. sometimes. and im very, very empathetic and it SUCKS i take psychic damage every time someone even remotely, even HYPOTHETICALLY feels bad. this is not a virtue.

for hobbies, i like to play video games as you may have guessed, i also like to read (non fiction, classic lit and danmeis especially), make art of all kinds but mainly physical sketches, and im always looking to add more shows/movies to my watched list.

i love to visit restaurants and cafes and interesting places surrounding food!!! my idea of a good time is eating with people, even if its in a crappy chuck e cheese. i love to try new foods (but it's a bit hard since becoming vegetarian), and i love matcha! i also love visiting just interesting places in general. why go to disney when you can see a beautiful spot in nature, or an art exhibit, or a park, or just the lively downtown? but other than that, i love my dedicated space 💗

i dont like rude people. mean people. people mean to kids and animals. bigots. assholes. any synonym for that. but honestly, not much else. there are other things that sure tick me off but can be pretty easily taken care of or compromised for.

i hope i didnt write a damn essay. half of it was geeking out over interests but. im guessing the brainrot is shared. but thank you so much for even reading my request this far!! (*˘︶˘*)

hii! sure thing! i love doing matchups especially when you guys give me lots of details :) let's get to it :) THIS IS NOT PROOFREAD!!! I'M REALLY SORRY FOR ANY MISTAKES!!!

okay, first things first - let me tell you why I didn't choose other characters :)

❝ im chronically ill & disabled, which means i have chronic pain and have pretty bad sleep ❞

Well, I need to be honest with you, I believe that despite your strenght, REVENANT would just make fun of your disability, he would NOT care at all, he'd probably pick on you and be REALLY rude. I hope it's not offensive (i'm sorry if i'm insensitive, it's not my intention), but I know he'd want to offend you. You could actually have a good hate-ship (if you know what i mean), where the only thing you guys do is fight with each other but I don't think that's what you want.

❝ im also rather rigid on cleanliness and WILL start tweaking if me/my space goes too long w/o cleaning. ❞

I'm sorry, have you seen OCTANE'S room? Let me remind you of that...

Can you see what is happening on his floor? This guy would probably drive you insane with how messy he is and I know he wouldn't care if you tried to ask him to clean it up... It would probably lead to many arguments and fights between you :(

❝and im very, very empathetic and it SUCKS i take psychic damage every time someone even remotely, even HYPOTHETICALLY feels bad. this is not a virtue. ❞

I have this feeling that Loba would see you as an easy target to manipulate, she'd think that she could use you after seeing that you feel really bad when someone feels bad, so she'd probably talk about her past a lot around you - trying to make you feel like you need to help her with everything. I doubt that it could work out :( I hope you see my vision and I'm not weirdly delusional with my ideas.

BUT NOW FOR A RESULT... (NGL I HAD A BIG PROBLEM WITH THIS ONE SINCE YOU SEEM TO BE A GOOD MATCH FOR AT LEAST 2 LEGENDS, BUT I DECIDED TO PICK...)

VANTAGE

I feel like you and Vantage could have a really good relationship! You both seem to aim high with your ideals and I just think that you both are really empathetic, a little bit emotional even... You share the love for animals. She has her Echo and she'd probably die for him. Vantage would never let any animal be mistreated when she's watching.

" why go to disney when you can see a beautiful spot in nature, or an art exhibit, or a park, or just the lively downtown? " - I think she thinks exactly the same! She seems to be a big fan of nature and she is an explorer. Born on a cold planet where everything wanted to kill her, she knows that nature can both be beautiful and deadly. She is also really nice, and I think that when she gets closer to someone, she actually CARES, like...A LOT. You'd probably be treated really well. I think that Vantage would be really patient when it comes to you and expressing your feelings, she'd never let you just walk away if she saw that you were upset, I think that communication and trust is a priority in every relationship.

She'd listen to you when you tell her that you have chronic pain and she'd do exactly the things you ask her to do, always trying her best to help you and she'd make sure you're not pushing yourself too hard.

Thank you for reading 👽👽👽

[soopiroth]

behold... the classic @mybabybearcub question list...

i'm gonna list off my entire list in one day to make up for all the times i saw this and went "uhhh, i'll do this another day"

it's under the cut!

favorite movie? hard pick... i like studio ghibli films a lot, and i watched them a ton growing up, but i also like bugsy malone a lot, such a whimsical movie... and of course ffvii advent children has a place in my heart... um, um, i dunno! i swear i have some more grownup movies I like but to be honest I don't indulge myself in film enough...

favorite toon? ummm lessee... thomas the tank engine doesnt count because it's the model series I like... i like homestar runner a lot! web cartoons count right? ummm i also started watching dungeon meshi and i'm fond of it... ermmmm i dunno.

yeah, i sleep with stuffies, even when not regressed. my mainstay is my sephiroth plush which is kind of a comfort object for me atp... but i've also got a nicely sized tentomon plush I snuggle a lot!!

ummm this is hard too... jerboas... bugs but especially stag beetles n rolypolies... water bear... any weird little guys tbh!

GREEN! purple as a distant second

i have friends who get up to flippyfloppy mutual babysitting antics with me?

...too many, next question.

um... nnneither. i only draw when not regressed and sometimes i even struggle to focus on coloring when regressed. so um... scribbling!

sephiroth plushie... but shoutouts to my toy i had since i was two, a handcrafted stuffie made from a sock. his name is baby but i also call him Boy and soon he will be Man

uhmmm... playdoh is more nostalgic but i do like to mess with slime ig... i don't mess with either much though.

i don't really have little gear! i have a chew stim stick tho that semi counts

um um! i like final fantasy! vii and ix! but i also like bomb rush cyberfunk! and disco elysium! and pokemon and zelda and mario and and and yeah!!!

meeting my online friend that ive wanted to meet up with for ages and we. play toys idk

does the disney store still exist? i liked it when i was real little but i dont care for disney much anymore... so bab. But they're expensive too... hrmmm

what's it to you...? (...i dont like astrology because it encourages an uncontrollable determinism and making assumptions about others instead of getting to know them!)

halloween good. i like the timing of thanksgiving (not the holiday itself, i have a deepseated hatred of colonialism) because it usually means i'll have time near my birthday off from school and work. but i like excuses to cosplay.

i usually just yap! yap yap yap! dm my buddies! yap yap yap!

showers more often but bath as a rare treat to indulge myself

whatever's easiest to eat for me or yummiest. what's "easy" food for me varies from day to day.

fall... good temps, allergies aren't bad, my birthday, crispy weather bringing in the cold after ages of hot... i can still wear shorts but i can also wear jackets

i dunno... i refuse to label it. it's too fluid and bouncy and vague. i just call myself small.

im like a chronic sibby collector, in and out of regression. i have chronic big brother syndrome. i keep becoming people's big brother figure. help. though i specifically have one friend among my bests whom of which we have dubbed each other mirror twins! like rin and len...

yes... why not both? shoutout to corn cho, a snackoo i really like... it's like the baby corn puffs almost but with a layer of chocolate ganache! yummy yummy

one of the things i take most pride in is my writing, both prose and poetry, fiction and nonfiction! but to compliment both body and mind, i like to think i'm pretty cute, i daresay

mulan. i liked belle as a kid a lot too but i also liked mulan bc i pointed and went FELLOW ASIAN and then later ended up trans so. dang i guess they did make a man outta me.

nope! not really! i put stickers on stuff but i don't seek them out actively. but i do collect pins! and i collect merch of my favorite lovely wife kuja ffix

uhmmm despite having dogs i don't see myself as a dog person and i've never really had cats. i'd prefer something less mammalian. more reptillian or an invert of some sort... BUUUUT i like rodents too. but if i had to *compare* myself to an animal... um idk what lol

i am a fellow of great range and nuance! Gimme it all!!!

iiiii love love love writing :) and video game! :)

i like listening to ff tracks that feel evocative of agere for me... but i also like whatever i like when big (which also includes ff music...). so usually for me that's some 2 mello, sea power, billy joel... lots! it all depends

[piratefishmama]

im the one who sent the ask about billy being a bully outside the mains.

i'm not the same person who was doing whatever other bs

i saw someone in your replies talking about him being abused and whatever else, as if it erased his other behaviour.

so i wasnt talking about you forgetting, i was talking about other people forgetting, especially his stans.

his stans will try and justify every action he's done that has negatively impacted other people. they'll find justification for his treatment of max, steve, the other kids. but that is something that I've never seen them touch on, because there no way they can stretch whatever they try to use to absolve him of everything to this kid he targetted.

im sorry if it came across in a bad way, but I was agreeing with your post, its just an offshoot thought I had from it. that little fat kid isn't one of eddies, but he is proof that billy is a bully. if he was okay with bullying a kid in front of witnesses at his job, he would have absolutely been fine with bullying people at school unless he got put in his place, like as you said in your post about Eddie doing

Oh sorry for being defensive! Anons always get me a little eeehhh after someone's been acting out.

Oh god that must have been the other person in the replies, didnt read it! just insta blocked from the notification cause they were out there bragging abt how they could still see stuff 🤣

idc what you have to say if you're out here being a dipshit for no good reason. and a 'neh-neh-ne-neh nehhh' post is just ridiculously immature. Let people have fun on the internet for gods sake they're fictional characters, people can HC whatever they want it doesnt hurt you.

But yeah abuse doesnt excuse anything, he was a dipshit of the highest order.

So many teachers back in my day claimed 'you dont know what's going on in their homes' whenever i'd complain about bullies, school never doing anything about it.

Violence is sometimes the only language they speak, which sucks but alas, put them in their place and they stay away for a bit. it's a tested method and unfortunately it works. They know they cant fuck with you, or in Eddie's and my case, your friends without reprocussion and a concussion is a pretty decent reprocussion.

Billy was only there for a year and a bit before he died, I broke a bullies nose in highschool for picking on a friend of mine and we both got left alone for two years so lmao, timeline seems abt right to me.

and honestly how else could he successfully gather and protect weird freshmen, if he didnt have a proven 'THIS BITCH IS FERAL' reputation?

[teitpp]

Weird writer asks: 1, 13, 30

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

Times New Roman, Georgia, and sometimes Economica or Convergence (if I'm looking for something futuristic). Just anything but the default (Calibri - boring, gross, take it away) or Arial (reminds me of work).

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

I'm so glad this asks what I write easily, rather than well. Saves me from examining my own success or failure on a given subject.

What is easy: all sorts of dark topics. (Torture/Rape/Child Loss/Grief/Self-Harm) Smut, save a kink or two. Any kind of hobby/action or science point i can get information easily on on the internet. Kids POVs, Non-Human POVs, Natural Disasters. Time Travel bullshit. You know the fun stuff

What is difficult: MCD. I mean i can kill my fav. characters. Easy. I'm just really bad at keeping them dead. Fluff in anything more than short doses (if they're happy longer than a scene the story is either ending, beginning, or i'm dying to throw some drama in there.) Historical or Modern AUs. Also Divorce for the mundane not criminal or neglect reasons. (I suspect this stems from college - Professor Wang - who I swear had a fixation on divorce stories - had us read and discuss the topic to death in Fiction class. Including from the POV of a dog - a story whose author didn't even like it. let me tell you once you've had to talk about the hidden meaning behind a dog's view of its new custody agreement you are never going to find the topic interesting again)

30. Talk to me about the role dreams play in your writing life. Have you ever used material from your dreams in your writing? Have you ever written in a dream? Did you remember it when you woke up?

I only remember my really disturbing dreams but they're not disturbing in "inspires an idea" ways they're just disturbing in weird "why would my brain merge these ideas together" ways. The only thing my dreams are good for is writing nightmares for my characters. (Maybe the ones i dont remember are doing more of the creative work)

[asablehart]

Writer Questionnaire Tag Game

thanks for the tag @yvesdot!!!

If someone has just come here from the tag game, what piece of yours should they read?

probably wasp story because it's one of my favorite stories and it just came out in lightspeed :) but also i think it has a lot of stuff that pops up often in my writing, like depictions of grief, strained romantic and sexual relationships, sad scientists, cool bugs, etc.

Is there an overlap between the genres you won't read and the ones you won't write? Are there any genres you'd like to write but, for whatever reason, haven't? Why?

yeah, i'd say by default i tend to read what i write. It's hard for me to get interested in something that isn't speculative in some way. I think the genres i like the least would have to be crime thrillers and cozy mysteries. just, absolutely 0 interest in even incorporating parts of those genres in my stories.

i would really like to write more historical fiction but the research scares me.

What's the last book that really positively surprised you? Why didn't you think you'd like it, and why did you like it in the end?

this is an interesting question, because i dont read many novels and i only pick up novels that im pretty sure i'm going to like. if i can expand this question to short stories, i just read spar by kij johnson and i was surprised NOT because i thought i would dislike it, but because i really didn't realize it was 99% alien sex.

Self-pub, indie pub, or tradpub?

mostly publishing in magazines right now, which are basically all indie pub, but when i pursue novel publication, im going to shoot for trad pub first. i would like to avoid self publishing because that seems like a lot of work.

What would you like teenagers to think of your work? This is regardless of what age groups you write for, because they're going to get ahold of it anyhow.

i prefer to think about children as little as possible. but you know, i hope they think it's cool, and i also hope they're pleasantly surprised by fiction that kinda pushes the boundaries, because then maybe they'll also make art that doesn't really follow the rules. i remember, as a kid, i always felt like my brain was expanding a little when i read something that was different from the "normal."

tagging @alistonjdrake @authoralexharvey @lasbrumas with the following questions:

are there things (characters, plotlines, imagery, themes, etc) that pop up a lot in your stories?

imagine that you're a famous author and now AO3 users are shipping your characters. what ship do you dread the most?

do you have a story idea that wants to be written so bad but you still can't quite get it on paper yet?

what program do you write in (or what physical medium do you use, if you're not writing on a computer)?

do you outline, and if you do, how closely does the resulting draft resemble your outline?

[anxiously-sidequesting]

Hiiii

I'm curious what you think about Pirate101 - specifically, if you think there's a distinction between "young pirate" and "young wizard".

In both games the protag is referred to as "young" by lots of characters, but in Pirate this was already old enough to be (infamously) arrested for brawling/smuggling/treason/dueling/hoodoo, as well as lead their own crew. Personally that feels like an indication that being called "young" doesn't make them a kid, or at the very least it feels very older teenager/young adult-ish. In a similar vein, I feel like the wizard wouldn't be elementary school age or anything (although no matter how old they are they're still under-equipped to be saving the world but that's not really the point).

I hope I don't offend you, and you're free to headcanon what you like of course, since they will never have a canon age so to speak. But personally given that context I just can't see the wizard protagonist being as young as everybody says that makes what they're being put through so much worse.

HIIII THANK YOU FOR THE ASK and please don't be afraid of offending me!!! Literally the only way to do that is to break into my house and kill my family so you're good 💖

So first thing's first my first answer will disappoint you because I don't play Pirate101 and so I know fuck all about it HALANDIEKE I get the general gist of the tutorial (i played through that) and everything but I could not tell you anything about what I think about how the YP interacts with people or how they feel or what the general vibe is because I dont know that. Like at all. Feel free to send me stuff about canon I'd love to read it and form my own opinions 💖

As for the ambiguous age of the wizard yeah it can be confusing. Because since the game is primarily designed to have the protagonist be You instead of any set character there's no consistency as to what the canon age of the wizard is. It really just all depends on what you WANT the Wizard's age to be; whether that's your age when you started, your current age, a separate age for a separate OC, etc. Like you said other than the prefix "Young" we really have no idea just how "young" young really is

So yeah I've heard that the Pirate is arrested for crimes and is in jail, and you're right it's hard to imagine someone like 5-11 being in jail for organized resistance of the Armada. And like, in my opinion, that's only because a little child would most unlikely have that intelligence or be cognizant enough to do things like that. So yeah a teen or young adult would work better in my opinion

But like here's the thing, and this is my personal opinion - I don't consider P101 and W101 protagonists to be parallels. Like just because the P101 protagonist may be in the adolescent stage doesn't mean the W101 protag couldn't be any younger, or older.

Especially since there's a difference between the canon protags already. While the Pirate was canonically organizing and participating in the resistance by themselves or with a skilled team, the Wizard was just all of a sudden poofed there. The Pirate has prior training and homeland advantage. The Wizard does not.

I don't really like comparing traumatic experiences between people personally (even though these charas are fictional) but I feel like. Subjecting someone to a war when they've had war experiences vs. someone who has never been in a war before/has no idea how to practice magic is a HUUUGE difference. Not like the former isn't bad by itself but yeah. The Wizard came from Earth, INVOLUNTARILY, and without their permission is thrust immediately into a bad and dangerous situation with no prior experience, training, or preparation. It seems like the Pirate, to me, chose willingly to fight in the Resistance and knows how to defend themselves. There is a huge difference there

And whether or not you headcanon the Wizard to be a child or not I do half agree with you that subjecting such a young person, OR ANYBODY for that matter, into a situation as dangerous as war is a terrible thing to do I get it. But, and this may be unpopular, I'd have a bit more sympathy and alarm for someone who was forced/pressured into it, someone who was unprepared, rather than someone who was already used to it, training for it, organizing plans for it.

So yeah regardless of age, there's a huge difference between both canon protags of both games. I personally feel what the Wizard has to deal with is much worse. Their only "support" system to start out with is a complete stranger who (in post-update) gives them no choice, decides their fate FOR them, and expects them to HURRY UP about it. The Pirate AT LEAST has a crew and other people who literally care about them and back then up and fight WITH them. The Wizard starts out with no one by their side.

So yeah that's just my personal opinion. And this isn't to like bash anyone on the head who thinks any different or has a different story than canon at all 💖💖💖 this is just how I feel. BUT THANK YOU FOR THE ASK IT WAS A VERY COOL ONE TO ANSWER!!!!

[crunchy-the-dragon]

"bit" of a tangent but i seriously think this root issue you mentioned is actually the conservative family structure (no im serious) ped*philia and inc*st (another of the self-described proshitters favorite mark """"maturity"""") are cornerstones of conservatism because they benefit those in the position of patriarch and reinforce their authority. remember that whole quote who was being caught on To Catch a Predator? it was almost always fathers and preachers. the s*xual appeal of these when presented to titillate is the ability to control and what is the traditional patriarch all about? control.

when you consider how much of internet culture was written by cishet men who many not even be conservative themselves but are still desperate to live out the male power fantasy it presents: become the man of the house with a smokeshow wife and beautiful obedient kids. not that big of stretch to say they want people to not look twice at their endgame. figure out how to present it in new ways so future generations continue your bullshit.

and what we're seeing now with all this anti, anti anti, antee up bullshit is reactionary. many people who use this language are, whether we like it or not, queer or at least allies and are so gung-hoo on s*xual liberation that they dont stop and think what they're supporting. they just see s*x and they want to be s*x-positive, even if its a recreating and normalizing how the patriarchy uses sex as a tool of oppression, and that is reactionary to a tee.

obviously this isn't to say the subject matter is inherently bad, for example lolita, famous mallpole for people missing the point, is a scathing critique of how men use their authority to extort s*x out of minors. in fact because it goes into such detail, it serves as a PSA of sorts for identifying such behavior which is infinitely better than people who can't be normal about children's cartoon characters. (as an aside cause i know it''ll be brought up, i do believe depicting men calling each other daddy and the leather scene is in no way comparable to sophia the 1st p*rn) because the defense of this is always "its just fiction" which is not only just straight up disrespectful to the concept of art and how it affects people, but its also textbook normalization by means of trivializing said affects.

and some might be wondering "wait why would conservatives be trying to propagate things that would fall under what they are currently passing laws to ban?" well, let me ask you something: do you think the average conservative voter is smart enough to think ahead over even grasp the concept of their actions having consequence

all in all, be critical of what you consume, original works or fan-art because you are always being sold something

Do you consider yourself an "anti"?

no im a person with a functioning brain is what i am, the internet trying to reduce this down to just some ideological difference with bizarro reductionist terms to try and reframe the issue at hand as a simple disagreement on preference is fvcking ridiculous and only serves to protect those who can and have fvcked up actual real people.

if you look at the image of, explicit representation of, what is in context and confirmed as a 9 year old child and go “what if they had s3x”, that is a problem, that is not healthy behavior, and to treat that me being appalled by and hating that people are spreading written and drawn child p*rnography is just me being some “anti” is like. where is your head even at, where did everyone’s critical thinking skills go?

please take a minute to evaluate the actual issue at hand.

[faustiantales]

Have you ever read Maria No Danzai? It’s about this mother who wants to get revenge for her deceased son by killing all his bullies. The main villain is the sociopathic leader of the group and he’s also the son of the police chief. I’m not too sure how I like the writing personally but the art’s nice and for some reason I feel like the main villain does give some incest vibes so he might be some nice thirst material.

Warning though because when he was a kid he blackmailed one of his school teachers into suicide by asking said teacher to take a naked picture of his elementary school daughter. It never happens and we don’t see anything explicit of her but still since you don’t like any sexual depictions of minors of that age range I thought I should mention it. Other than that there’s some gory deaths and pretty brutal bullying (more violence and rape) but considering chapter 1 it’s not much more intense

Notes from the Abyss:

As of writing this reply, I have read up until chapter 2. I haven't heard or read of Maria no Danzai before so I got curious and read the first chapter. And oh my gosh, you're right — the first chapter was real intense. 🫠 I didn't really include this because to some degree, I can handle gore and graphic violence, but damn... The scenes in the manga are very vivid and detailed. Dont worry, though — I didn't feel any adverse physical reactions towards the gore. So it's not a big deal.

Second, I feel bad for the victims, especially Kiritaka-kun. 😭 He and his mother deserved some happy and fluffy fanfics. 😤 I'm into revenge/retribution stories lately, so most of my manhua readlist commonly has those genres, especially when it's about villainesses who were wrongfully persecuted and returned in time to get their revenge. I just love the drama and thrill of two opponents clash. Furthermore, it seems that the story will delve deep into the psyche of each character, and I'm looking forward to their messed-up thinking and how I'll react to them getting their retribution.

Also, not gonna lie, Mari kinda reminds of Ryoba from Yandere Simulator a bit. Doesn't she? Also, Nozomu's appearance kinda reminds me of some other characters... Maybe because the art is so great and his hairstyle is similar to someone I've seen before, but he reminds me of Ayato Kamisato from Genshin Impact a bit. Just the appearance, though. As for his entire vibe, he reminds me of someone else but I can't pinpoint who... Damn these fictional characters and their many design clones...

But anyway, you're right — Nozomu does have that vibes to him, so thanks for giving me thirst materials. 🩶 He is handsome and is a sociopath, so he might be one of my favorite characters here, especially of the villain's side.

Fun fact: even when I'm barely in chapter 2, I already have a potential oneshot idea with Okaya Nozomu. I may work on this soon so I'll just lay down my idea. Of course, obviously, this would be incest using my usual big bro x lil sis formula. The idea I have will set in the prologue part and may include timeskips and canon divergence (since I haven't read past chapter 2 yet).

Nozomu's lil sis knows about the bad things he's doing to other people. He is quite fond of her and doesn't really lay a hand on her, though, to some degree, he may resort to physical violence when annoyed by her foiling his plans or getting in his way. That's why most of the time, she acts like a helpless bystander when witnessing the inhumane bullying his gang does to other students. Furthermore, if she does intervene with his bullying, she knew that it will only lead to more severe and painful repercussion towards the victim the next day. The only way she could only help was after they're done with their victims — like patching up the victim's wounds or giving them proper medicine or other necessities. However, her goodwill doesn't always bode well with most of the victims. They will lash out to her and call her a hypocrite or an accomplice, even retaliating by harming her at some moments they snap.

Anyway, for this idea, when seeing how relentless he bullies Kiritaka, she finally snapped and stepped up. Kiritaka is one of the rare few who accepts her help, witnessing her guilt of not being to stop Nozomu and her genuine concern for him. One day, the lil sis decided that enough was enough and stood up for Kiritaka. Of course, this pissed Nozomu, but she offered a deal with him to be "exclusively his". This deal intrigued him, and being the sociopath he is, agreed. Because he found a new toy to play with, and what's more, it was none other than his beloved little sister. Kiritaka's bullying became less and mild, and he was spared from his unfortunate fate of forcing to jump off the cliff and die. She was able to alter Kiritaka's fate, but in exchange, she became the object of her brother's twisted obsession and entertainment.

The details will be refined later but that's the general plot I have so far. I might only focus on the psychological aspect of this oneshot instead of including some sexual themes, or maybe just implications if I feel like it. Furthermore, this would be filled with heavy angst and insanity; maybe a slight Yandere Nozomu? Who knows?

Anyway! Thanks for telling me about the manga and recommendation of a new thirst material. 🫶 If you have other manga/manhuas you would like me to check, feel free to leave a message! I would like to explore and write fan fictions on manga/manhua characters as well. 🥰

[loreandco]

listen the fuck up stalkers!!!

i know you're reading this and thinking that you're oh so cool for trying to get me removed from plural spaces for wrong and false allegations or claims.

i know you're reading this because i dont have to tag you to get a reaction or anything. you've been stalking my tumblr that, mind you, i don't even really use because unlike some (/nbr) i don't wish to be dependable on social media. but i will do this and say this one thing.

that you're wrong.

i have proof that someone you may or may not have been contacting and talking to is a fucking liar, an attention seeking backstabber who is not only a problematic ADULT but an ADULT that doesn't understand when to quit or what the difference between shit is.

supposedly me being comship means im a fucking pedophile, which could not be farther from the truth. in fact its so wrong im going to explain to you what comship actually is!! because none of you read my initial post! comship stands for 'complicated ship' which in itself, is complicated. complications may be having DIFFERENT views about DIFFERENT things under a shipping label; such as pro or neuship. comship ALSO means being interested in these complications in a FICTIONAL, SAFE, AND NONHARMFUL WAY. you people don't seem to understand that FICTION DOES NOT EFFECT REALITY UNLESS CHALLENGED and you probably are thinking about sources or media like creepypasta that have indeed effected people enough before.

while yes sources or media like creepypasta have INFLUENCED and PERSUADED people to do things, this does not make the media responsible for YOUR thoughts or YOUR actions. everyone has free will, period. if you seriously are petty enough to say 'oh creepypasta is why my fictive of XYZ is so bad' for example, then unfortunately that's not my problem and is in fact an issue that you have to work on as a system. you can teach alters and fictives to be better and you choosing not to! is the problem! because you're basically enabling and 'gentle parenting' them enough to the point they think its ok. and newsflash, its not! please educate yourself and teach your alters to maybe i dont know, understand they're not always their source??

also want to give a shoutout to this person ive already referenced aka pandora aka nachokitten17 aka user 1239703551261933621 on discord if you'd like to preban them btw that you are the most insufferable person i've met in the last year or so. you literally assumably got me under some serious stupid and wrong allegations because i 'support your abuser' when we had our lloyd introject TELL YOU TO BACK OFF for making us uncomfortable. you clinged to me. you were OBSESSIVE and WEIRD and fucking need to know it. i frankly don't mind it if people say me making this callout part of this message is wrong because if people find this, it actually proves people have been stalking me and makes them the problem and not me. get a life, please. and to pandora: the fact you tried to befriend me while also lying about this is fucking wild.

below is proof that pandora is delusional about ships and their 'condoning' and how they believe freedom of fiction = pedo which is a wild ass claim lmao

"people only ship dark things because they fantasize it" could not be further from the truth. pandora is basically denouncing peoples trauma response to things like assault and sexual abuse. this literally just paints a bigger picture as to how and why this person is problematic. and this is a fucking 20 year old btw! crazy right?

this is the same person who you let throw around claims about me being a horrible person for no actual real evidence other than bullshit from years ago. like really? me having a TCOAAL avatar and banner to my discord suddenly means im a pervert? get the fuck over yourself kid lmao. im allowed to like the media and frankly liking a media that has a base topic of questionable morals doesn't mean im the same way. it just means i enjoy the content. the same can be said about you pandora when you like mouthwashing and suddenly! oh no! you're a horrible person for liking it because of what jimmy did to anya! you fucking hypocrite. also back on the TCOAAL thing i relate to andrew graves so fucking much because my ex irl best friend was a lot like ashley in game, she was manipulative and used me as a gain and a passage to get out o trouble. so thanks! for basically saying my trauma response is wrong and invalidating it! fuck you.

and to those who actually read this in full and understand now that im not a bad person and in fact just think people should live their lives and not have to have fiction and media's and sources ONLINE by the way make up their personality or exhibit the same behaviour, good on you because you're a good person unlike pandora.

now if you've actually read this in full i commend you for taking the time because i understand its a LOT to read through but i figured i'd give a one last middle finger to those who have been on my tail trying to get me in trouble. im not even a bad person or any of these claims; i just wholeheartedly don't care because fiction does not effect reality unless challenged.

thank you, and if people want more screenshots.. oh i have more :)

[the-inkwell-variable]

Talk about a WIP? (For the ask game)

Absolutely! Thank you so much for the ask!

I'm gonna chat a bit about Dauntless, since the Big Month of Writing A Novel (unaffiliated) is coming up and that is, once again, my project. I've been working on Dauntless since about 2012, finished it three times just to delete or lose my draft and start again. This time I actually have a draft to edit and rewrite, yay!

Dauntless takes place almost entirely in Bluegrass, Kansas, a fictional city based on where I live. It's not a small town (I think we're sitting at 30k people right now?) but we are a suburb so we do get that small town vibe.

Since this is a zombie book, let's talk infection! I'm not sure how I'm going to implement this yet, if at all, so this may be the only place it's mentioned, but this is a parasitic infection. A type of worms mutated to survive the water purification process and is now in everyone's drinking water. Humans are still pretty tough, so it's not going to start as fast or hard as The Last of Us did, but people are going to be affected quickly. The worms grow inside a person to eventually wrap around your brain stem and wiggle its little appendages into the various books and crannies of the brain. Fun! Love this for us! Definitely not gagging at all over here! 🫠

The first stage of the infection (which I originally intended to be a related but separate thing... Might still go back to that.) is definitely a fun little horror show to write. It's somewhat inspired by Crossed, a comic in which infected people carry out their sickest, most twisted desires with a smile on their face. (Definitely a messed up series, read at your own risk. It caught ME off guard a few times, so please take care of yourself if you read it!) However, infected people in my story dont do it with a smile or out of pleasure (some do, but they're further along in the infection and were kind of messed up to begin with). They think their messed-up actions are logical, common sense. In most cases, they don't even realize that they're doing a messed-up thing. Some of their stories are quite sad when you realize that they genuinely think they're helping or doing the right thing. (Side note! I'm writing a separate book of stories that takes place alongside Dauntless, that focuses on these characters. It's going to be a ailabke for free when it's done, I promise I'll link it here!)

The second stage of the infection is death and reanimation, typical zombie stuff. This is a zombie book, after all. The zombies start off fast, quick, agile. Think Black Summer. They understand how to open doors, that a window can be an entrance, that dodging an attack can keep them alive a bit longer. They're not smart, per se, but they're not completely stupid yet. The longer they shamble around, the more they deteriorate and the dumber they get until they're your typical shamblers. In the far distant future, when the next trilogy in the series takes place (I might have dreams too big for my britches here lolll), they do mutate, but for now, they're just zombies.

Introducing Ashlee, our protagonist! She's not interested in any of this. She wants a normal, quiet life. She's helping her sister take care of her kids after the divorce (which she hates - she's not really the parental type, though she really is trying). She works at a clinic and is dating her boss, which even she knows is not a great idea, but he's handsome and friendly and wants the same future she does, so how bad can it be?

Now I'm more into the survival aspect than the interpersonal drama, but don't you worry, there is drama to be had! Niece Selina is a teenager doing teenager things, which Ashlee has to stay on top of so she doesn't make the same mistakes. Is boyfriend Dr Jordan Parker truly as altruistic and kind as he seems? What's going on with the cop that keeps sniffing around? Is Ashlee bisexual and/or poly, or is she simply desperate for a loving touch in these cold times? And will the author have the strength to keep fucking Chuck's grubby little hands off this document or will she have to burn the world to the ground to get rid of him once and for all? Find out next time, on Dragonball Z!

Thank you so much for asking about Dauntless! I'm sorry I rambled so much. I have a lot of thoughts about this book. I hope you're having a fantastic day ❤️❤️❤️

[psychotrope777]

ocean ask

i can't find the original poster for the life of me but i found this in my bookmarks somewhere and wanted to do it

pearl: if you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go and why? i'm not sure! i'm in this weird headspace where i kinda want to travel but i don't know where to. i've never actually gone outside of new england at all. it can be really expensive and honestly depending on what you're doing it can be exhausting. like i couldn't imagine going to see like the eiffel tower and waiting in traffic forever and planning everything and then you get there and it's crowded and you're waiting forever... it just sounds not fun. but i do want to see the world i just don't know what that means to me yet

sails: describe your perfect partner. IDK. someone i can relate to

lighthouse: how much makeup do you wear? i never wear makeup. when i do i feel like i just look weird

shells: would you prefer to be a vampire or a werewolf? i was a vampire kid but i think being a vampire probably imposes more restrictions on your lifestyle. do you turn into a werewolf whenever the full moon is out or just whenever you look at it? i think i could handle being a werewolf and still like live normally

mermaid: most embarrassing moment? i will not answer this

turquoise: weirdest dream you’ve ever had? one time i was in an abandoned stable or pig farm and a little horned black goat told me in a high pitched voice that "it's so much fun playing with [me]". one time i read someone's fiction website and got transported to a demonic version of my street. one time i was a member of a cult that spoke entirely in french and latin and took part in a ritual sword-fight-to-the-death with the daughter of the leader. one time i was a child being escorted through a suburb by a man in a cloak and there were dead, mutilated dogs on the roofs and lawns and he was telling me not to look at the dogs. one time i picked up a teddy bear on the side of the road and was teleported to an endless garage inhabited by a demon. one time i worked in a deli with cell from dragon ball. one time i was trying to have sex with a robot but his arms were made of like pop tubes or slinkies and it was super weird

waves: favourite season and why? i used to hate the cold season but after how bad these last few summers have been i've made amends with it. i love winter now

breakers: would you ever consider getting married? i always thought the concept was weird. i mean i would if my partner wanted to but it just seemed like... it's just so much to go through and it doesn't really change what you are to each other. in my head, you don't love a "girlfriend" less than a "wife". they're the same thing. i guess there's like a financial benefit to getting married or something, but it's just. you know weddings are so out there and they're this whole... thing, and then if things ever don't work out or go south between the two of you, divorce is this whole process that can take fucking forever and i feel like the process of getting divorced can take a breakup that would otherwise be fairly amicable and just make them hate each other by the time it's through. i just dont really. get it

seafoam: describe your ideal summer vacation. probably to fucking antarctica or greenland if i'm going to be completely honest. summer is a terrible time to do big things

rain: if it were possible, what exotic animal would you keep as a pet? i wanted a giant african millipede at one point. i also wanted silkmoths and yellow mealworm beetles. if i had to go for something really ostentatious i'd say me and an octopus probably have a lot in common

sunlight: least favourite song? i don't know i don't really listen to music i don't like

marine: would you ever consider plastic surgery? i have considered it before. body troubles can make you consider a lot of things you wouldn't usually. but normally i would say no. still sometimes you have days where you think... i need lipo, i need my boobs cut off, i need leg extensions, i need this i need that etc

sea glass: what do you consider to be your best physical feature? maybe my eyes or my nose. idk

storm: do you like piercings and tattoos? Why or why not? i liek both

boardwalk: who is your favourite fictional couple? i dont kneeeowwwwww. idk... shin and noi, c-3po and r2-d2... honestly those are the first two that came up when i thought "fictional pairings that i like". im not really into shipping

coral: if you had to describe your personality as a food, what would you be and why? i wrote the answer for tidal b4 this one. ummm... probably something like salt or chili for the same reason. they can be good notes when they're subdued, but when they're prominent they can be overwhelming

nymph: old-fashioned or modern decor? i can't decide. they kinda feed into each other

seawater: scariest movie you’ve ever watched? not sure

siren: in a fantasy setting, would you be a warrior, rogue or mage? i obviously can't be a warrior... so either rogue or mage. being a mage would be cool i think

tempest: your favourite Pokemon? ummm... sawk gliscor flygon gyarados mightyena breloom emboar electivire hypno mr mime mewtwo granbull and others

tropic: what is your least favourite thing about your appearance? never ask me this

aquamarine: describe your dream date. i don't know! i don't think about this a lot. what defines a date? what gives it value? i'd say that any time you spend with someone you love has intrinsic value, it doesn't have to be an occasion

brine: gold or silver? hmm... im inclined to say gold but i can't imagine a gold wallet chain so that's a bit of a deal breaker

tidal: what is a colour that best describes your personality? my personality? ummmm i've been told that i have a "mature" or "organized" air, and i do try to remain calm and rational when faced with a challenge, but i know personally that i tend to be very obsessive and i panic when things don't go according to plan. my own desire to live in the moment and not care is undermined by that 1. i tend to fixate on the potential risks and outcomes of something INSTEAD of whether it would make me happy and 2. i do care about what people think of me / how people perceive me / how something will impact the future. maybe green or red. deep or faded tones can give a sophisticated and professional impression, but bright tones can be bold and produce a wild and jarring image

azure: what is something that you do that makes you happy? i liek video games and listening to music

fog: describe where you think you’ll be in five years. hopefully alive and well

coastline: what is your favourite flower? hydrangea perhaps. or the utilitarian dandelion. or lilacs!

shallows: what is your typical Starbucks order? IDK

voyage: what are your favourite names? like for people? or for animals? nicknames or given names? i don't know man

shipwreck: do you have an OC? If so, describe them. i have many. but eek im embarrassed

cerulean: do you believe in true love? idk. define it

shoreline: if you could become fluent in another language, which would you pick and why? i did french in middle and high school and fell out with it. in 2022 i learned some russian but also just stopped making time for it. since i already know the cyrillic alphabet i've considered ukrainian. my grandparents were ukrainian so i feel kinda like i have a ... responsibility? i don't know. i also feel like i should at least try to reach fluency in french because ... i spent that money on the dictionary and i spent the time in the classes and i should at least finish the job

tsunami: describe a dream outfit of yours. ONE THAT LOOKS GOOD ON ME

riptide: are you introverted or extroverted? Are you happy with this? i suppose i would be an "introvert" bc gatherings and stuff tend to make me feel drained after a while. it's certainly... a source of inconvenience, but i don't necessarily think it doesn't work for me because i generally don't maintain large circles

hurricane: describe a strange habit of yours. i make a lot of html files. just like... simple lists and bookmarks and stuff like that. like for example i don't have an account on etsy or anything like that so my "wishlist" is just an html file with links to things from online stores i'm interested in. it makes sense to me but saying it aloud it definitely sounds weird lol. i'm a little worried that i might die and someone will get access to my computer and think "wow. what the fuck was wrong with her"

[elysiae]

following this up with a more personal rant

ive always written for myself. i use my writing to release the emotions that ive got that i cant express anywhere else. im autistic, queer, disabled, and i spent my whole life being silenced and shut down and my writing was the only place i could ever go to outlet it. its why i tend to latch onto such heavy topics because ive gone through SO much of that. everywhere i go, im not safe, the only safe haven is when i can dump all of my anger or sorrow or desperation into words on a page and watch it coalesce into something that resonates with me and anybody else who might read it. ive always been told i can convey emotions so strongly through my writing and thats because i feel those when i write. all of my fiction is the product of turmoil and that sounds sad, yes, but i take so much pride in it because i can help people, i know i can help people, i have helped people!

i sent a story to my brothers a while ago, it was for my ELA grade 9 PAT that i'd gotten 100% on. it was a short story about a boy who had been blessed by the gods with powers to destroy everything he touched, and then he was told to use it for good (well, that gets complicated, but we won't get into that for this explanation). all he ever wanted was to help people, and he felt like a sort of pillar of bad luck, if that made sense. it seemed like everyone who he grew attached to were befallen by tragedy, and he wanted to feel like he was doing something right. and the way he did this was by leading a rebellion against the government forces who were doing everything in their power to silence the poor and weak and 'insignificant'. he was only 16 and he was so unsure of himself, but with the power of community and the unwavering determination he always had he managed to turn the tides and win the fight. my brother had just recently started getting into public speaking and leading at his job, and he said it resonated with him; the fear of others' reactions at first, the knowing that people are relying on you, wondering if you're doing good enough. he said he felt for the kid, and he understood. it stuck with him! and thats exactly what im going for with my writing; i want to help people feel heard and understood. i want people to know they're seen because i was never seen, i was never understood or heard, im still not.

but its so fucking hard to do that when ai is around. you can fearmonger all you want---ai doesn't think. ai doesn't feel. it is a soulless doormat of code that only knows how to spew out bullshit that it parasitically leeching off your work, the people you look up to's work, beginner's work, professional work, anything and everything it gets its slimy hands on and vomits out an unoriginal poorly stitched together, anything. ive seen people say 'well but look at this incredible thing ai made!' but no, its not incredible. i dont care how gorgeously ethereal the lighting and coloration is, or how eloquent the detail described is, there are artists out there who painted in those colors, there are writers out there who use the words and descriptions. and ai. stole it. from. them. AI is not original, it does not have soul, it does not have the thing that makes creation so beautiful. it does not. have. humanity. AI is not human, it will never be human, it will never understand our experiences and emotions and struggles, it will only ever spit out an amalgamation of countless creators who's love for their work is lost. i don't care if i get attacked for this. yeah, yeah, AI has it's uses, but it has no place in the world of creation. it never will have it's place in the world of creation. even if you want to get ideas from it, it's just recycled ideas from other creators. and i am NOT saying that getting inspiration from other creators is bad, LORD knows ive done it, but it's so much better when you sit down and discuss with another person. you might not have the vast ""knowledge"" ai does, but it's so much more real when you can talk back and forth with someone, especially if theyre just as passionate as you. ai only says what you want to hear, it doesn't have opinions, but people do! human connection is SO valuable and it's something i touch on SO much in my writing and it pisses me off to NO end that instead of talking to people face to face or online people go to ai which gives you stolen ideas and then steals YOUR ideas that YOU tell it and the developments YOU make and oh my god i need to go play warframe. but AM I MAKING SENSE HERE??? i am not very eloquent or good at speaking my thoughts but it drives me nuts.

and for people out there saying "nobody supports my work" TALK TO PEOPLE ONLINE! go on forums! make posts! join writer/artist/other creator communities! talk to those people! get ideas from REAL people! expand on your ideas there! let me tell you, worldanvil has an awesome community, i tend to stay in my own bubble but i can almost guarantee discord has hundreds or thousands of discord servers, if you're willing to try dipping into that (though id be careful). social media exists, and i know theres all this "social media bad" yadda yadda but there's good parts too. no matter how much people irl dont support you or your work there is guaranteed to be SOMEBODY online who WILL.

anyway i uh... yeah i dont think im upset anymore. i know my story is like a broken record and theres probably hundreds of posts out there but man man MAN i am so. ughhhh i hate ai

do any other creators have this fear of posting their creations with the rising of AI because the idea of it leeching off your work and spewing out unoriginal half-baked bullshit makes you genuinely nauseous so you just straight up dont post anything anymore