#the bad bitch I bagged by being silly

[tender-rosiey]

frenzy— gojo satoru x gn!reader

a/n: yet another silly thing with megumi and gojo to fill space while I finish other stuff

you take a deep breath before staring in front of you.

you’re going to murder someone, particularly a 6 foot 5 man with hair similar to that of a paintbrush.

the only problem is that he is your fiancé and you would probably be the first suspect when they investigate the oh so mysterious murder—if the daggers you’re glaring are anything to go by.

the second suspect is probably the 11 year old next to you, also known as megumi.

satoru is causing yet another scene as he purchases his favorite sweets from the cute old lady at your local shop.

his face is stuck to the glass as he grins, “I will take this, this, this, oo and that! and lastly that!”

“can’t we leave him?” the boy grumbles.

you sigh, “unfortunately not.”

“babe! honey! sweetheart! I got you some stuff!” he appears right in front of your eyes with frankly more sweets and food than you physically stomach.

he rummages around the bags, “I know this is your favorite, especially this!”

sighing, you cup his face and make him stare you dead in the eyes, “stop spending so much money! I don’t need that much!”

he pouts and his arms wrap around your waist, “what’s the point of my money if I can’t spoil you with it?” he feels the stare of megumi then looks down and scowls at him, “what do you want?”

megumi rolls his eyes and looks away, radiating so much sass and it offends your fiancé beyond words.

satoru gasps then props his hands on his lips, “I got you this limited edition pistachio cupcake! be thankful!”

megumi’s eyes snap to satoru’s and retorts, “it isn’t thanksgiving.”

satoru quirks an eyebrow and uses his hand to fan the air towards his nose. he takes a deep breath and puts his hands together, “I smell…bitch!”

“satoru!”

“sorry!”

they have a glaring contest for a small while, and you simply take some of the bags from satoru’s hand and make your way down the street.

it doesn’t take long before a pair of small feet makes its way into your peripheral and another gigantic pair follows suit.

satoru effortlessly takes the bags from you, carrying them in one arm, while his other one is linked with your own. on the other hand, megumi’s hand gently slips into your own. you give his hand a little squeeze and he gladly returns it back.

satoru has his infinity turned off because what could go wrong in a peaceful moment like this?

a screech is heard from your side. it’s girly, squeaky, and so high pitched to the point you want to smack its owner so badly.

unfortunately though, it’s your fiancé, and he is being ruthlessly attacked by a squirrel

it probably fell from the tree above, but why would it attack satoru?

probably because the idiot accidentally kicked the tree and, as a result, made the poor thing’s entire stock of food fall the ground, crumbled and unusable for poor mister squirrel.

karma is a bi—biscuit. a very bad biscuit.

“y/n, get it off!”

“you’ve been chosen as a sacrifice for the squirrel king, satoru.”

“but—“

“oh thank heavens! we will finally get rid of him,” megumi murmurs.

“why you little bra—AH!”

taglist: @magenta-cat-drawingss @pompompurin1028 @scul-pted @requiem626k @nameless-shrimp @shinys-bsd-world-1 @sonder-paradise @ravenina14 @jessbeinme15s-notebook @todorokichills @ginneko @missrown @shrynkk @simplyxsinned @beautiful-is-boring @starlostlaiba @izukus-gf @irethepotato @thekaylahub @dazaisbloodybandages @aeanya @sweetcloudsimp @moon-catto @the-midnightskies @pianopuppygirl @gojosblackqueen @kryscent @kunikida-simp @whoami-72 @mx-0-child @fiona782 @kisakitwister @imjustasimpxd @psychopotatomeme @dreamcastgirl99 @watyousayin @doobiebochana @laylasbunbunny @hojicha-expresso @4sat0ruu @nineooooo @chuuyasboots @alekssashka7 @rieejjyubi02 @wemma67 @nothisispatrick300 @fallencrescentmoon @etheviese @ho34gojo @the-mom-friend-dot-com @the-weeping-author @stray-npc @libbyistired @anon1412 @anakalana

copyright © tender-rosiey

do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

[allpiesforourown]

I have such intense feelings for your bingyuan roommate au, it’s unreal. Binghe would be the BIGGEST green tea bitch/pick me girl but only towards sy, no one else. encountering lbh in the wild first and then experiencing him next to sy would be a fever dream of epic proportions. actual dozens of women would want to behead him and rip out his guts. bc lbh would ditch them on their birthday, an actual medical emergency, or anything critical at all just bc sy vaguely implied he was hungry (lbh now HAS to cook for him, it is not a want, it is a NEED)

And sy would be worse then evvvver, lol. “That’s my little didi binghe, he’s so sweet and sensitive, girls are always breaking his heart :((( If I were his girlfriend I’d get married to him next week and bounce on him silly style. Too bad no one will ever appreciate binghe like I do :(((((” and it is only after MANY of those thoughts that he realizes that he might not feel all that brotherly towards lbh

on a hornier note, I’m at a toss up between thinking that lbh would bring his hookups/girlfriends back to his and sy’s home and fucking them there (bc in lbh’s mind he can’t cum right without the reminder of his gege… and what if gege walked in 🤤… maybe lbh can get him to join…) or him absolutely refusing to let any of them so much as glance at his gege (no one should look at sy except him)

EXACTLY EXACTLY EXACTLY you get it anon.

It's literally like

Woman: let's have a threesome with your friend

Binghe: the idea sounds so appealing but I don't want some stranger getting his hands on him! I don't want to share him with someone who doesn't show him the love he needs. I'm the only one who knows him well enough to be in a threesome with shen yuan

Woman: thats sex. You're just describing regular two people sex. You want to fuck your best friend.

In my head for this au I imagine them as long time friends.. shen yuan found binghe getting bullied at a park or something when they were kids and told his bullies to fuck off. Then he listened to binghe cry about how he's so worried about his sick mom being overworked and begged his parents to hire binghes mom. With way better pay, hours, and work environment, her health improved a lot and she's good friends with shen yuans parents.

Binghe tells himself he acts like shen yuans guard dog because he'll always be grateful for what he's done for his family, but really, he fell in love with his Yuan ge at first sight the second he saw a boy standing up for him instead of ignoring his bullying.

Someone: say something nice about your best friend

Binghe: oh I have so much to say! He's so sweet and intelligent and adorably nerdy ! He saved me and my mom and-

Someone: say something nice about your girlfriend

Binghe: um..... uh ...... well.... sometimes she... hmm......

The poor women he dates. They'd go through SO much suffering trying to "fix" him and then when they finally give up after going through hell itself, they see bingge and shen yuan get together and suddenly the most negligent terrible boyfriend in the world is buying flowers and posting corny pictures on Instagram and proposing a few months into the relationship.

Shen yuan: I can't believe I managed to bag someone as handsome beautiful and loving as binghe. He wakes up at 6am every morning to get started on breakfast so he can feed me in bed. He's so attentive I worry I'm taking advantage of him. How did he get broken up with so often? No one appreciates people like binghe

Everyone else binghe has ever dated: I told him I got stabbed and he left me on read

[targaryenluvs]

HIS POWER / TIM BRADFORD

PAIRINGS: Dark!Tim Bradford x Fem!Reader

SUMMARY: After providing a statement to an officer about a robbery, he seems to be everywhere. Even after you start avoiding him.

WARNINGS: Obsession, stalking, abuse of power, breaking and entering, suggestive content

WORDCOUNT: 3.3K Words

A/N: Just started watching the rookie and I’m in love!!🥰

Gif not mine, credits to the owner!

It’d been a normal day at first.

You wanted to run errands through your Monday since you’d been working pretty hard through the last week. But being higher up in the company meant you were able to take days off to work from home when wanted.

You’d been in the confectionary isle since you were throwing a watch party of Harry Potter with all of your friends. As silly as it seemed, you were in the mood for a night of childhood friends and fun.

You had finished up shopping, and as you were making your way up to the register when you heard it.

“Get on the ground, now!”

It was as if time has frozen as you noticed everyone drop to the floor. Luckily your body followed suit and dropped down as well. But you were a minute too late as one of the men noticed you. “Didn’t I say to get down bitch?”

The word sounded foreign in your ears, to the point where you didn’t even realise he was talking to you, until he came over to you.

He pulled you up by your hair as he waved the gun around, “You ain’t talking now huh?” His grip on your hair tightened as you clenched your eyes shut. When you opened them you noticed someone reaching for their phone. You may as well try to buy her time.

You looked over at her as she mouthed, “911.” You acknowledged her by closing your eyes before talking, “What do you want me to say?” You could hear him chuckle, “Now you’re chatty.”

You shuffled until you were able to turn around to face him, taking his attention away from the woman calling the police. “Please, just take the money and go.” One of the other men came back from behind, seeming to have a mass of purses, most likely from the employees.

“I just want to talk to you baby.” Whether it was the nickname or his demeanour, you sure as hell didn’t want to talk to him anymore. So you took a risk.

Kicking him in the crotch.

You could hear him groan before falling to the floor, his gun slipping out of his hands as you grabbed it. You quickly slid it to the woman on the phone with the police before kicking him in the stomach. “You b—,” before he could continue you kicked him in the face.

You remembered there were only two others that had entered the store. One in the back and the other across the store. So you took the time to tie the man up using someone’s scarf, then stuffing his mouth with plastic bags. You had two other shoppers guard him as you took the gun back.

There were four men in your view, you quickly waved them over before making a plan.

“She’s having her baby! Someone help!”

Footsteps echoed through the place as the other man ran to the woman shouting, Sierra, “Who is it?” This man was seemingly calmer than the other you’d dealt with, “Here!” And as he turned you bashed his face with the end of your gun, and as he fell one of the shoppers took his gun. “Good job Jack, two down and one to go.”

“Bad idea, not taking me out first.” The last robber left standing had his firearm to Sierras head, with an arm around her neck. You and Jack immediately raised your guns in his directions, “Go ahead, shoot. Wonder what this pretty girls head’ll look like across the floor. Got nothing left to loose.”

Your saving grace came not only in the sirens outside.

“Put your guns down, slowly.” You and Jack hesitated, which proved to be a mistake as he aimed towards one of the other hostages, aiming and shooting at her leg. As she screamed out you folded, “Okay! Just don’t hurt anyone else.” Jack followed your lead as you put your guns down. The second you did he pushed her to the side, coming for you.

“You ruined my plan. For what? To be a hero?” His breath was heavy against your cheek, spite filled and hot. You shook your head immediately. “Well because of that, you can help me get out of here.”

He had you pick up the guns and stuff them into his duffel bag before leading you to the back at gun point. “Might just have some fun with you while we’re here.” He laughed as he opened the door.

“Hope you’re ready for some fun in prison.” As the two of you exited the store you were met with four cops, the one speaking standing in front of you. As he was momentarily distracted by being caught you turned to push him to the floor before running into the cops arms.

His partner rushed forwards to cuff him whilst reciting his rights. You clung onto the man as he held you, “You’re okay, I’ve got you.” You buried your face into his chest, taking a second to breathe before stepping back.

You read his badge, Bradford.

“Thank you, Officer Bradford.” Your smile was small, but more than enough for him. “Call me Tim.” His partner, which you learned was Lucy, eyed him up. It wasn’t everyday the grumpiest guy she knew allowed his first name to be used by a stranger.

“Let’s get you down to the station huh?” You nodded as he directed you to the back of his car. Lucy rose an eyebrow, “Couldn’t we have taken her statement here?” Tim aimed a pointed look her way, which screamed ‘shut up’. “She was actively involved, taken hostage and helped to disable every robber. Her account is more serious than the others and she might need to get checked up on. It’ll be a long statement so we’ll interview her at the station. Anything else boot?”

Lucy shook her head, “Good, now get in.”

You’d been waiting for someone to enter the room, luckily it was Tim. “I’m going to be taking your statement okay? I need you to detail everything that happened since the start of your day. Don’t leaving anything out.” You nodded along as he sat down, offering you a smile.

“Let’s begin.” You didn’t leave anything out as he asked you not to. Tim was nodding along, jotting down key bits of information as you spoke. It felt like time had passed by quickly talking to him, even if you were doing most of the talking. It’d been over an hour already.

“Alright, hang tight in here. You’ll be home in no time, probably best to take some time to yourself to recuperate. No friends.” He stood up, tucking his notepad and pen away before offering you a nice smile as you returned it. “Thank you, for not being rude and actually listening.” Tim stopped in the doorway, turning back around to you. He raised his eyebrow, waiting for more. “Why would I be rude?”

“Just, lately I’ve been seeing about a million horror story cop interactions. And I was scared to be interviewed. But you were really nice, so thanks. If there’s anything I can do, or tell you then let me know.” Before he could respond someone walked past and asked if he’d gotten your information.

“She’s free to go if you have.” You felt a weight lift off of your chest, as much as you liked being across from the gorgeous cop Tim was, you wanted nothing more than to sleep. He nodded as she left, turning his attention back to you. “Well, you’ve done more than enough regarding information. As for something you can do,” You straightened up in your chair.

“You could buy me a drink tomorrow.”

The bar was packed, but apparently Tim was a regular to the point where he had a seat waiting for him. Being the kind person he was, he let you sit on the seat. But the place was crowded so he ended practically between your legs. “So what’re you having Officer?” Tim scoffed at the title, “I’ll have what ever you’re having.” You giggled, “You want a martini?” He cringed at the words.

“Maybe I won’t have what you’re having.” You waved down the bartender, before ordering for the both of you. Whilst ordering you could feel his eyes on you, staring intently, “Is there something on my face?” He shook his head, “You’re just so gorgeous.”

You could feel the heat rush to your cheeks, “Don’t.” He swiped away the hair that fell in front of your face, “Why not, you are. I always tell the truth.” Your drinks were slid over as you both grabbed your respective drinks. Taking a sip, he stared at you as he drank his beer.

The night progressed quickly, the two of you getting lost in easily flowing conversation. “I’m gonna head to the bathroom.” You held your thumbs up to him as he walked away, weaving through the sea of people.

Taking a sip of your fourth drink, you noticed that he’d left behind his phone on the counter. You didn’t mean to pry, but your hand had a mind of its own as it swooped his phone up. You wish you hadn’t. His wallpaper was somehow a photo of you and you’d only known him for two days.

If there was one thing you didn’t think you were, it was stupid.

You swiftly swung your purse over your shoulder before making your way out of the bar and outside. It was then that you realised the fact that Tim had picked you up. “There you are.” His voice was quieter than before, now outside and not interrupted by others.

“It was getting stuffy in there, needed to breathe. I’m feeling pretty tired, you mind if we call it a night?” He shook his head, “Not at all, I’ll drop you off.” You smiled before making your way to his car.

“Doesn’t someone need to pay?” You were praying he’d take the bait and leave you to flag down a cab or call an uber. “I’ve got good credit here, we’ll be fine.”

You just needed to get home. That was all. Once you were home you could avoid him and not see him ever again. Just get home Y/n.

The ride home was filled mostly with Tim talking at you and your short replies. You didn’t want to seem suspicious but you were too scared to have a proper conversation with him. All you could see was the wallpaper burned into your mind.

As he pulled up to your apartment you felt a tiny spark of relief, you’d made it home. “You okay?” His hand rested on your thigh, “Yeah I’m alright, just tired.” You pressed your lips into a tight line, you hadn’t looked at him yet.

You wished you hadn’t, he looked pissed.

His hand tightened, “You’re lying. Did you meet someone else at the bar?” Your face scrunched up in confusion, “What? No! You were gone for minutes. How the hell am I striking up a conversation with someone and liking them in that time? I need to go.” You were met with a locked door.

You turned back to him with an awkward smile, you wrapped your hand around his in an attempt to calm him down. “Tim, I promise. Nothing happened. Please let me go inside, you can walk me to the door. I want you to.” Your lie seemed to take, as he retracted his hand to open the door. You grounded yourself by clutching onto your purse, leaving crescent indents in the leather.

His hand came around your waist, holding on tightly as you made your way into the apartment building. You quickly pressed for the third floor, not your own. “Goodnight Tim, I had a good time.” You turned to him, pressing a kiss to his cheek before running into the elevator. As the doors closed you could see him, momentarily stunned at the kiss.

You exhaled the second the doors closed. If you were lucky, you wouldn’t be seeing him after this. You’d survived the night, as well as him.

The next few days had been normal, thankfully. You’d been paranoid to a fault, and rightfully so.

Tim Bradford is a cop.

Which meant he had access to so much more than any regular person. He not only knew where you lived from the information he’d collected, but he could search you up. He could find out so much about your life with just a few clicks of a button.

And he did. He utilised his resources to find out as much about you as he could over the week or so since your date. When you’d gone to the bathroom, he’d accessed your phone and was now successfully tracking you. Never leave your stuff with an obsessed cop, am I right?

After the robbery, he couldn’t risk your safety.

But the biggest mystery of all in Tim’s eyes was why you hadn’t called him yet. You’d been working a lot recently, early days and late nights. You needed a break from work. The only places you went which weren’t your workplace or home was your gym.

You were done for the day.

The sweat that you were covered in made you shine in the fluorescent lights of the gym. You couldn’t wait to take a shower, but the gym was currently repairing their facilities so you’d have to wait until home.

If you’d been paying attention to your surroundings rather than yourself you would’ve noticed Tim hovering in the background. You grabbed your waterbottle and made your way to the locker rooms. Patting yourself down with your towel before changing your sweaty clothes into normal clothes. The more laundry the better?

You walked out to your car, blissfully unaware of the shadow following you. As you fiddled with your Airpod case you accidentally let your keys slip through your hands. Sighing in annoyance before bending down to grab them from underneath your car. Not expecting to be met with him once you got up.

“You scared me Tim.” Your hand clutched onto your shirt, over your heart as you rested against your car.

“Sorry. just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I am, thank you for asking. I just… I feel like I’m seeing you everywhere. Like I’ve gone crazy.”

“Maybe it’s a sign.”

“For what?”

“To go out with me? Tonight?” You awkwardly laughed, holding onto the back of your neck. “As much as I’d love to, I’m not really in the market for a partner. I’m sorry. And I’m already going out with friends tonight.” His smile was wide, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “No need to apologise, just figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask. We had such a nice night last time. You looked amazing.”

You felt bad for turning him down, but again, you couldn’t help but think. He never showed up before, but you see him once and now hes everywhere? It didn’t seem right to you. You chuckled dryly, “Thanks, you’re not so bad yourself. And yeah, I meant it as a friendly outing.” As you opened your door, it slammed in front of you.

Tim stood closer than before, and his nice smile and sweet voice seemed so far away. His hand rested on your door, having shut it. “You sure as hell didn’t dress like it was a friendly outing. Go out with me Y/n/n.” Your eyes squinted at his use of your nickname, which you hadn’t told him to use.

“I’m sorry, I just— Oh god.” Your eyes widened behind Tim as his head whipped behind, “What is it?” The door quickly slammed shut as you sat in the drivers seat. Tim turned back, you tricked him. He tried to open the door but you quickly pressed the lock.

“Open the door.”

His voice was low, it was a threat.

You pressed the button to start your car up, not daring to look his way. God knows what you’d be met with. You quickly pulled out of the gyms parking lot, mustering up the courage to look into your rear view mirror.

He wasn’t there.

You couldn’t tell if him not being there was more frightening than comforting. But you did need to put as many miles between you and Tim as possible. A night out with friends would help take your mind off it.

As you came home, you couldn’t help but sigh. The night had been totally exhausting as well as exhilarating. It’d been a while since you’d seen your friends, since your marathon had been cancelled after the attempted robbery. And you had also subconsciously taken Tims advice to not have any friends over.

As much as you hate to admit it, he was right. It was nice to take some time to recuperate and understand what happened before seeing friends. The millions of questions they threw at you tonight were even worse than when they were over the phone.

‘Are you okay?’

‘We don’t have to go out tonight!’

‘We can stay in, order some food?’

‘If you need to talk, I’m here.’

You were definitely grateful to have so many friends that cared about you after something pretty traumatic, but all you wanted was to drink, dance and forget. Which was partially successful. But he wouldn’t leave your mind.

Tim had basically infiltrated your life since you first met him that afternoon. And you had no clue what about you screamed to him, enticed him.

You wracked your brain trying to think about any time you would’ve given him any sort of signal to needing him. To inviting him into your life. And you couldn’t come up with a single sign. Maybe he was just insane?

How could you even get rid of him?

He was a literal cop. When at the station, you couldn’t help but notice how often people talked about him. Whether it was how amazing he was, or how reckless. The overall consensus was that he was a good guy, just a bit odd or impulsive. You couldn’t help but feel bad as well. He’d literally saved you from being hurt, or worse. And when you’d talked to him, he seemed so sweet.

Tim Bradford was respected, and you were just a civilian.

But to Tim? You were so much more. Having you in his arms, fully reliant on him to help save you. He knew you needed him, you just didn’t realise it yet. But he’d help you realise, there was no need to worry. He’d keep you safe, you’d never be in such a situation ever again. He wouldn’t fail you like he failed his ex.

“Had a nice night?”

Your blood ran cold and your bubble of bliss from the night out had effectively been popped. He was in your home. How did he know where you— he’s a cop. He probably knew more about you than you knew. “I did.” Tim stood from your couch, making his way to you.

“Meet anyone?” You shook your head adamantly, “No one Tim.” You needed to play your cards right if you were going to get away from this psycho alive. God knows what he wanted to do or what he was after.

By the time he was in front of you he had you pinned to the wall, right by the hallway. His hands came around your hips, fingers digging in. He smelled your neck, savouring the sweet perfume. “You smell amazing, and you look…” He was practically undressing you with his eyes. “Bet you danced a lot tonight, should take a shower.” Of course you’d love that. Which is what you wanted to say, but with his eyes burning into you?

You couldn’t respond. Not when his hands began to roam, and tug on the strings of your dress. Not when he led you into your bathroom, and let the bath fill up or when he undressed you and himself.

You were practically frozen as he bathed you.

He acted as if it was where he belonged, as if this was a daily occurrence for you and him. You knew you couldn’t get away now,

You were too late and scared of his power.

[amyrahrose]

Content warning: Sukunaxreader smut, penetration, multiple positions, dominant Sukuna! , unprotected sex (Wrap it up!), pet names, Sexual theme, Adult theme, talking her through it, although it is sometimes not mentioned <READER IS BLACK FEMALE CODED>, BUT ALL ARE WELCOME TO ENJOY! ❤️

Authur's Note→ 18 and Under, GET TA STEPPIN! I know for sure this will be broken into parts, however I'm not sure how many parts will be to this. I just decided to get back into writing little dabbles here and there so I'm honestly just testing the waters with this. Slightly proofread (English is my first language, but even the baddest of Bitches still make mistakes! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) ) I do hope you guys enjoy! 🤎

Synopsis: You’ve decided that you would begin your fitness journey. Accompanying your best friend, today’s the day where you’ll being taking working out and going to the gym seriously (well kind of). Lacking motivation and ready to go back home to lounge around to watch some TV and pig out, that all changes when suddenly you meet this drop dead gorgeous as hell man. Will he be the inspiration you need to continue your new lifestyle?

Part 1 found here →→ GYM RAT: PART 1

w.c» 2.1 K

It was Tuesday night, and you found yourself pacing back and forth in your apartment bedroom, forgetting that you had Jade on Facetime to help you pick an workout outfit to wear to the gym with Sukuna tomorrow. 

“Girl I don’t know why you’re stressing over an outfit, ya’ll going to the gym not Ruth’s Chris.” Jade rolled her eyes at you jokingly. She thought it was cute how you were trying to make sure you were prepared for your gym date with Sukuna, but she also knew how bad you can overthink things, causing you to freak-out and panic. 

“I know, I know but I still want to look like I’ve been to the gym before.” You stated back desperately. You know it sounds silly, but you wanted to make a good impression, even if it was just a workout session. 

“Honestly Y/n, I swear you set unrealistic goals. You could show up in a trash bag and that man would still be into you.” Jade tried convincing you but to no avail. You were dead set on having the perfect workout attire to flaunt in for Sukuna. 

“Well what about this, oh no wait what about this one?” You had two different sets in both of your hands, shoving one after the other in-front of the screen for Jade to critique. 

Realizing that nothing she was saying was going to help the situation she caved in and took a good look at both outfits. The first was a high-waisted leggings and sport bra set in a rich, deep brown color and the other was an all into one, low cut design with a low scoop back and cross-body straps in all black. Remembering how Sukuna was looking at you as if he was going to devour you, she figured the later would surely set him over the edge. 

“Let’s go with the all black, give my man something to work with.” Jade cackled out while wiggling her eyebrows up and down at you. You laughed nervously because you knew she was going to pick that one. To be honest, you wasn’t sure why you grabbed that one in the first place when you set out to go to your local department store shopping for gym attire. When you seen it you knew it was something that was going to turn heads and demand attention, more importantly Sukuna’s attention, prompting you to hurry up and toss it inside your shopping cart before deciding against it. But now you wish you did change your mind. You knew you could pull it off, but you couldn’t help but wonder if you would be coming off too strong, or desperate, by wearing it. 

“You asked for my opinion and I gave it to you. You’re going to look amazing in it Y/n. You’ll definitely get worked out- uh I mean get a good work out in it.” Jade said quickly before you caught her statement. Noticing you were still too wrapped up in choosing between the two outfits, she blew out a breathe of relief at you not catching what she said. That most definitely would’ve sent you in a frenzy and make you not want to go to the gym at all. 

“I know, but are you sure? Like really, really sure.” You asked again. You knew you were too much inside of your head about the matter, but you needed reassurance. Looking back up to Jade you caught the look she was giving you and knew she was about to give you a piece of her mind when all of a sudden you squealed in shock from the incoming call flashing on your screen. 

“Y/n what the hell is wrong with you?” Jade asked bewildered. She watched as you hurried and ran to your vanity looking over your appearance before rushing back to her wide eyed. 

“It’s him, he’s Face timing me!” You stated, looking back at Jade in shock. It took her a moment to figure out who it was you were talking about before she smiled devilishly and wiggled her eyebrows once more. 

“Well what are you doing still on the phone with me? Answer him! Oh and show him your choices for tomorrow and see what he thinks.” She proclaimed. Before you could argue, she hung up the call leaving you to fend for yourself. 

Shaking your head and exhaling out a deep breath, you answered Sukuna’s face time call with a small smile. 

“Heyyy you.” You answered shyly. You mentally slapped yourself for how you answered the call. 

“What am I, 12?” You thought to yourself. 

Sukuna’s deep laugh pulled you out of your head, making you look at him and his surroundings. He was obviously at the gym, you heard the clanking of weights and the gym’s music in the background. He was staring back at you, looking like sex himself. His hair pushed back with sweat, making you just now notice how it was dyed pink, and a hue of pink across his cheeks signaling that he must have just wrapped up his workout session. 

“What’s up ma?” His raspy, deep voice sounded off into your phone’s speaker. The sound stirring up a feeling deep inside your stomach, making you want to record his voice to be played over and over. 

“Uh nothing much, I was just on the phone with Jade. You know, nothing too crazy.” You replied with a small smile. You kept your gaze transfixed on Sukuna, taking in his handsome features. 

“God this man is so fine.” 

“Mh, what was that mama?” He asked while he placed his phone down. He was now in the guy’s locker room, checking himself out in the mirror. 

“Shit”, you whispered to yourself, “Nothing, I didn’t say anything.” You answered, half stuck on the fact he heard you and also the new nickname he’d given you. Your brain was short fusing at the sight of him now peeling off his sweat drench compression shirt, revealing his abs to you once again. Your mouth watered at the sight while you unconsciously clenched your thighs together. If he pulled the stunt in-front of you tomorrow there was no way in hell you were going to make it through the workouts. 

“Oh yeah, what ya’ll were talking about?” Sukuna asked, trying to hold in his smirk. He most definitely heard your remarks and he knew exactly what he was doing by taking off his shirt, soaking up your reaction. He felt he dick come to life by the sight of you clenching your thighs together. How he wished he was over your place right now, seating comfortably in between them. 

“Well.. she was uh-she was helping me pick a outfit for tomorrow.” You answered quietly. You’re not sure why you gave out the information, thinking he might think you’re crazy for discussing something as ridiculous as that. 

“Oh yeah? Let me see what you came up with.” He replied while shuffling through his gym bag. 

Caught off-guard by his response, you were certain he would have just questioned why you would go to great lengths as that. You watched him for a little bit as he looked around in his gym back, thinking he must’ve have been joking until he turns around to look at you with his brows shot up in curiosity. 

“Well ma, you ‘gon show me what you got?” He asked with a chuckle. He found you cute with your shy girl expression. He turned back to his bag, finally finding his towel so he could prepare for his shower. 

You blew out a breath you didn’t even realizing you were holding and thought the hell with it, he was going to see you in it regardless, what’s the harm of you showing it to him now?

“Well okay, if you insist.” You said while holding up the gym set Jade picked out. You waited anxiously until Sukuna turned back around to gauge for his reaction. 

“I’m sure it’ll be fine mam-” Sukuna stopped, sucking in a breathe. He took in the black set you had selected and fought with himself to keep in the low growl threatening to come out. Taking it in, he found it hard to keep out the thoughts of how your body would look in it. The way the front would hug your tits, or the way your sweat would be cascading down into the dips of your back, or how the way it would mold around your plump ass. He closed his eyes, trying to stop himself while he was ahead, but it didn’t stop the rush of blood going to his dick, making his gym shorts uncomfortably tight. 

“So- what do you think?” You asked timidly, you were still too wrapped up in overthinking your outfit choice you didn’t catch the internal battle Sukuna was having with himself over it. 

Trying to be nonchalant about it, he shook his head slightly while offering a small smile. 

“I think it’s good Y/n, whatever you’re comfortable in, that’s all that matters.” He said in a low tone. You looked at him curiously, wondering why the sudden formal change. Not trying to let it get to you, you offered a small smile back at his input. 

“Okay, if you say so.” You replied back. There was a beat of silence between you to before you let out a giggle at how intense he was staring at you. 

“So you called just for me to look at you flex?” You asked, lightening the mood again. He blinked wide eyed before chuckling.

“Nah ma, just making sure you don’t flake on me tomorrow is all.” You sighed in relief at him going back to his nickname for you, helping quiet your nerves a little bit. 

You smiled at him while shaking your head no. 

“Nah, I’m locked in. I wouldn’t bail on you.” You respond back. That causes him to smirk before replying back. 

“Good, wouldn’t want a good outfit like that to go to waste.” He joked back, causing you to put your head down shyly. 

“Ha, nah we wouldn’t want that.” You giggled out. You looked up, catching him watching you with the same smirk etched on his face. 

“What?” You asked, having him watch you the way he was, was doing something to you. 

“Nothing ma, Ima see you tomorrow, alright?” He stated while throwing his towel over his shoulder. 

Shaking your head yes, you both said your goodbyes before hanging up the phone. Placing your outfit back across your vanity, you plopped on-top of your bed still smiling like a fool at your phone. 

Sukuana’s POV

He groaned lowly as he placed his hands around his dick, slowly stroking it up and down. He tried desperately to get the thought of you out of his head as he took his shower, but nothing he did was working. Every time he tried to think of something else, his thoughts always came back to you. 

Drawing in a breath, he threw his head back as the water from the shower head caressed his skin and helped lubricate his motions as he picked up pace. Flashes of you entered his mind. Seeing how you would look in the gym outfit you flashed in-front him not to long ago or the way he imaged how you plush, thick lips would feel wrapped around his dick, or how well your pussy would mold around his dick as he thrusted relentlessly into your velvety walls. His thoughts ran wild with all the things he would do to you and with a flick of his wrist over his swollen tip it was all that it took to send him over the edge. 

“Y/n.” He moaned out, forgetting his surroundings but ultimately not caring if anyone heard. He continued with his lights strokes, watching as ropes of cum shot down the shower drain. 

“Shit.” He cursed under his breath as he tried to regulate his breathing back to normal. He could only hope he doesn’t act this way around you tomorrow or he wasn’t sure how things would end. 

Before he could stop himself, thoughts of you came rushing at him again and he silently cursed at himself as he felt his dick harden again. Knowing it wouldn’t go away on it’s own, he began to slowly stroke himself again to ease the relief. 

You were going to be the death of him. 

© 2024 Amyrahrose. Please do not translate, copy, plagiarize, or repost (sharing links is fine 🤎) without my permission. You will only find my entries/content on tumblr!

[juniperdugong]

Ditching Witches

Pairing: Sylus x GN!reader (established relationship) Genre: Fluff, minor angst CW: Swearing, light-hearted jealousy WC: 851

Day 4 of To Halloween with Love Event

A/N: Lotta firsts with this event lmao, been meaning to get into the Love and Deepspace bag with fics for forever

"So comfortable already? Sweetie." Sylus walks in with a big bowl of popcorn in the festive jack-o-lantern bowl you had picked out together the other day.

"Hard not to get comfortable at your place," you beam as you cuddle into the biggest, fluffiest blanket you could find in his linen closet.

He sets the bowl beside you on the couch and slips under the blanket, wrapping an arm around your waist and lazily tracing lines along your belly with his cold hands. "Glad you like it so much- been so much warmer with you around." Resting his head on your shoulder you feel as he presses light kisses along your jaw.

"Don't get all touchy with me mister! Not after tonight..." You pout and huff as you pry his hand away with little to no strength, not really wanting him to let go but still wanting to stick to your conviction.

"Ha." Just as you expected, he presses into you and grips you tighter. "You're the one who picked that costume for me, kitten. How am I to blame?"

You whip your head away from him with another huff.

"Starting to sound like the big bad wolf, sweetie." He smirks.

You push at his chest and hog the blanket, "You were practically all over them!"

"I barely even spoke to them." He chuckles and you know the whole thing is silly but you can't help but be possessive with him... You know if the tables were flipped he'd probably be much worse.

"You spoke to them." You purse your lips and side-eye him.

"You don't want me to speak to other people?"

"Not when those other people obviously want to get in your pants..."

"Hey. You know I'd want no one else but you in my pants, sweetie." And his tone darkens for just a moment - almost willing you to take him into your arms right then! But no! You must stay strong, when else would you have the chance to get mad at him just a little?

"Those bitches-"

"Witches." He cuts you off and you look up at him with a puzzled expression, "They were dressed as witches." He grins knowing just what buttons to press for you to lose it.

And he's damn good at knowing your buttons because you swear your eye twitches, "You remembered what they were dressed as?"

"It was a Halloween party, baby."

"I hate you." You abruptly say as you toss and curl yourself up in the blanket so tightly you feel like it would rip if it wasn't so well made.

"Mmm... you hate me?" And your silence only further amuses him. "Oh no... My love hates me sooo much." The sarcasm is dripping from his words and you're about to just give in and call it there but suddenly you're being lifted and sat back down upright.

With the blanket still tightly wrapped around your upper half, you can tell that he's set you down in his lap with the way his arms settled on your waist. And you gasp as you feel his hot breath through the fabric near your ear, "They hate me so much that they can't even finish picking the movie for our movie night..." he whispers and it makes you shudder.

With a pout still painted on your face, you uncover yourself slowly, trying your best to leave eye contact for last. "Still hate me?" He says with a smile that he knows you can't ignore.

"Can't hate you..." And you know how childish you sound but what good is acting mature when he coddles you like this?

"Yeah? Well good, I'd hate for you to hate me. I'd hate myself so much."

"You know I'm joking right?" You just have to confirm with him that this is all some cringy game before you actually start to believe that this could become normal.

"I know, sweetheart. I also know that even though you're joking there's just a small part of you that's actually jealous..."

"You suck."

"Right. I suck." And he brings snuggles himself into you, constricting your movements with a hug.

"Why did you have to look so good in that costume? Huh?!" You poke at his chest with fury as you come to rest your head against his shoulder this time.

"You're the one who picked it, sweetie. I'm sure you had an idea of what I would look like in it."

"You had your whole chest out!"

"You picked it."

And you just have to resign from this nonsense argument because you're going in circles over practically nothing. With a sigh, you snuggle back into him and pick up the popcorn. He grabs the remote and you both begin the endless hell of scrolling till you both agree on a movie.

You knew you weren't justified in arguing with him over this. After all, he was the one who kept bringing up his partner to those witches when they asked for his number and he's the one who dutifully ditched the party with you the moment you said you wanted to leave.

A/N: Oh no... Sylus! Save me! Lmao I love this man so much, actually the death of me and the whole reason I picked the game up. (I have him leveled up far better than the others ;-;) I am lowkey hoping that my spinning wheel for this event picks JJK again soon bc I have some lowkey-angst I've been wanting to write out...

Please Reblog and Comment (They act as power-ups for me)

[confiaenanaa]

OOOOOO ANOTHER M&M WRITER?????

ONE OF US! ONE OF US! ONE OF US!!! ANYWAY, I'M JUST HERE TO SAY MY THANKS CUZ I'M GLAD SOMEONE ELSE IS WILLING TO WRITE FOR EMINEM 👀, back to my real intention (hehe), may i request (if you're open, if not you can discard this request) an f!reader with 90's marshall an age-gap around 1-2 or no age-gap, your choice, and the reader was just having an amazingly bad day, while her boyfriend just ruins it even more for her. after their biggest ever argument, reader just ends up wanting to break up with him, in which he agreed and she just stormed off somewhere private and dark but calm for her to listen to music and cry, but then there's marshall spotting her in the corner all by herself. and him, as her best friend, of course wouldn't let the little lady be alone. n then she just kind of started aggresive at first, but moves on to give up and cry while cuddling marshall after a bit more of interacting with the silly blonde guy. he always have great advices for cases involving love, especially for reader, but when it comes to him actually falling for reader? now that's a special case. he'd sometimes give an obvious advice that led to giving hint that he wants reader be with him. (ex: "maybe u can date someone blonde hotter than him." something like that) YOU GET ME YOU GET ME????????? SPECIAL SONG INSPIRATIONAL: TREAT YOU BETTER 🔥🔥🔥🕶️🕶️ ANYWAY, THAT'S ALL OF MY PROMPT, THE REST IS UP TO U, EITHER ENDS UP WITH SMUT OR FLUFFFF 🤭

eminem - friends to lovers

fem!y/n x Marshall Mathers

masterlist

synopsis: Y/N and Marshall are best friends. Y/N goes through a rough breakup; and her best friend is there to help her.

warnings: cursing, smoking

A/N: first request! I hope you like it. if there's any feedback you have let me know!

Y/N pulled into her driveway, sighing after a long day's work. She’d had a terrible day, truly one of her worst. She’d requested a raise from her boss, which she was denied; later, she spilled coffee all over herself and her car on her lunch break. She’d botched her presentation and possibly lost the deal of a lifetime. Her coworkers seemed to be extra annoying, and most of all, her boyfriend, Jack, couldn’t let her relax for one day. She’d received the seventh passive aggressive text from him just as she was turning the key to her front door. 

“Why haven’t you gone for groceries yet? I thought you were going to get me my favorite sour candies.“ 

At this point in her day, she just needed some peace. Maybe a facemask, some ice cream, and a movie. However, just as she’s setting her bag down on her desk, she hears an irritated sigh behind her. She turns to look at him, displeased as ever. 

-Why are you being so bitchy today? All I asked for were my sour candies.

She felt a surge of rage through her body. How dare he call her that? 

-Bitchy? What the hell is wrong with you? I’ve clearly had a rough day, so can you just lay off my ass and let me relax for a bit?

-Why the hell do you need to relax?! All you do is bitch about your job and sit on your ass all day doing nothing and making jack shit!

He’d begun to scream in her face. At this rate, it’d take only one more syllable out of his mouth to make her go catatonic. 

-At least I have a job! And I’m not just some squatter mooching off his girlfriend and sucking the life out of her! 

She knew she’d struck a nerve. He’d recently lost his job—one that he’d really loved. She saw his face contort from rage to hurt to a mix of both.

-Is that how you really feel? Fine! Then I’ll go and suck the life out of someone else since I’m such an inconvenience to your life!

-Yeah! You should! Get the hell out, Jack! And take your shit with you!

He’d looked a bit shocked. By the end of the night, he’d been packed up and moved out. Y/N sat down on her couch and popped open a bottle of vodka. She decided to text her best friend in search of some comfort. He’d texted back almost immediately. 

“I’m sorry to hear that you guys broke up. If you want, I can come over and bring your favorite chocolates and stuff.”

She’d smiled at the message. She told him to come over as quickly as possible. When she put her phone down, the feeling of grief hit her like a truck. It washed over her, covering her from head to toe. She felt the tears flow down her cheeks freely. She suddenly wanted to sink into the couch and not come back out. She didn’t regret her decision, but she’d certainly mourn the loss of a loving figure in her life. 

Just as she began to allow her thoughts to wander, she heard a knock at her front door. She opened it and saw her bleach-blonde best friend. He had a wide grin on his face as he held up the Walmart bag full of snacks and skincare. They were watching a movie, a random one; at least, to Y/N. She couldn’t pay attention; she was too busy thinking about her breakup and the thousand other things overwhelming her at the moment. She’d excused herself, telling him she was going to the bathroom. Instead, she decided to go to her spot. In her backyard, there was a small hill. On the other end, there was a pond with ducks and trees, and she always had it to herself. She sat down near the pond, pulling a cigarette out of her pocket. She lit it and inhaled. 

Just as she was about to light her second cigarette, she heard footsteps behind her.

-Hey.

-Hi.

-You feelin’ okay?

He asked as he took the cigarette out of her hands and hit some himself.

-Kind of. I just don’t really know what I’m feeling. I’m not regretting it, but I’m sad.

-I get it. But the best way to get over things is to move on. Don’t keep thinkin’ about that shit, or you’ll get caught up in it and things’ll get worse.

She realized he’d been right (like always). He looked up at her with hopeful eyes.

-Let’s go back inside and just chill, yeah?

-Alright.

She laid down in her bed, Marshall quickly following suit. She looked around her room, beginning to think about the weight of what just happened. She felt the tears pricking her eyes again. Marshall felt her tremble and heard a sniffle, so he just held her close and whispered reassuring words to her as he stroked her hair. 

-Look, you don’t need a guy like that.

They both sit up.

-Oh, yeah? And what kind of guy do I need?

She asked, keeping up the silly banter their friendship always maintained.

-I don’t know—maybe a hot blonde guy that actually cares.

She giggled and hit him on the shoulder; she thought he was joking, until she looked him in the eye. She saw that he meant it. Y/N froze for a second; did she really want her best friend? Did he really want her? She didn’t really have time to answer since he’d already had his hands pulling the hair at the nape of her neck, pulling her in for a kiss...

[talktonytome]

hi! what about: "rest my head in your lap, feeling fully restored" from your prompts if you're feeling it <3 ty!

12. Rest my head in your lap, feeling fully restored

<3 <3 <3

“What can I bring you?” Buck asks, voice doing nothing to hide his concern. Tommy had called to let him know him he had a bad migraine and wouldn’t be great company, telling him he could come over the next day, instead. Of course Buck being who he is, insisted on coming over to help- he couldn’t just do nothing. 

He hears Tommy sigh over the phone and smiles at how easily he yields to him, not in a controlling asshole kind of way, but it makes him happy, to know Tommy trusts him, in more ways than one. 

“It’s gonna sound weird,” Tommy says, “but an order of salty fries and a cold bottle of coke would actually help a lot. I would have gone out myself, but just the thought of sunlight hitting my eyes- ” 

“Hey, don’t sweat it, one order of fries and a coke coming right up,” he promises. He actually doesn’t find Tommy’s migraine coping method that weird, he’d seen friends try any number of things, in their desperation- the sodium, caffeine, and sugar make sense. “Try to get some rest. Unfortunately, we can’t all fly helicopters and crosstown traffic’s a bitch, but I’ll see you in about an hour, okay?”

Tommy chuckles, then groans in pain on the other end and even though a migraine is, objectively, not a big deal compared to their job incidents, it still pains Buck to know he’s suffering at all. “Sounds good,” he mumbles. “Thank you, love you.”

“Love you, too.”

As promised, an hour later, Buck’s letting himself in Tommy’s house and he tries to be quiet, in case he did manage to fall asleep. He rubs his thumb down the little LAFD helicopter keychain Tommy had given him, along with a key just a few weeks back. It still gives him butterflies to think about. 

“Evan, s’that you?” 

The living room is cool and dark, but Buck makes out the lump laying face-down on the floor that is his boyfriend. He chuckles, “yeah baby, I got the good stuff.” He holds out the bag of fries and coke bottle, which is silly, now that he thinks about it, since Tommy can’t see from his place in the floor. 

He toes off his shoes by the door and shuffles over to Tommy as gently as he can so as to not rattle the boards. He sets the goods on the coffee table and settles on the floor next to him. “Do you think you can sit up long enough to eat?” He rubs his neck soothingly. 

Tommy grunts, reluctant to move, but shoots out a hand to squeeze Buck’s ankle in thanks. “Yeah,” he sighs, “just give me a minute.” 

“Of course.” Buck continues rubbing circles up and down his neck and back, until some of the tension bleeds from Tommy’s body. Slowly he pushes off from the floor and Buck gets his arms around him to help him sit up and against the couch. 

“Hi,” he smiles. “I’m glad you’re here.” 

“Wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,” Buck tells him truthfully. “Now, how about these fries?”

“Yes, please.” 

Buck grabs the box of fries from the bag and hands them to Tommy, who immediately grabs a handful and stuffs them in his mouth. Buck laughs, grateful every time he gets to see a new side of Tommy, especially when it comes to the little things. 

“What?” Tommy asks around a cheek-full of fries. “Nothing, I just love you.” He opens the bottle of coke next and passes it to Tommy. “Wash down those fries before you choke,” he instructs, in what the 118 would describe as his “clipboard Buck” tone. Whatever. 

“Sir, yes sir,” Tommy mock salutes with two fingers and takes a long swig of coke. “Ah, that’s the stuff,” he sighs happily, which is a good sign, so Buck will take it. They pass the time it takes Tommy to finish the rest in comfortable silence. Then, Buck gets up to clear the trash and rummages in the kitchen for a heating pack and an ice back. 

He brings both with him and sits back down on the floor, and moves Tommy to lie down, until he’s perpendicular to where Buck is sitting, then tenderly lifts his head onto his lap, pressing the heating pad on his neck and the cold pack on his forehead. 

“Ohh, that feels nice,” Tommy moans in relief. “How’d you know?”

“I might have done some research while I was waiting in the drive-thru line,” Buck admits. 

“You’re the best, Evan” his eyes are closed, but a smile dances across that handsome jaw. “An angel, truly.” 

“Anytime,” Buck whispers. They sit in silence, as he gently massages Tommy’s head, occasionally dipping down to rub his temples. 

“Feeling any better?” He checks in after some time.

“Mhm, much,” Tommy affirms, finally opening his eyes, and reaches up to cup the side of Buck’s face. “More or less restored, all thanks to you. Any chance I can request Dr. Buckley for all my future medical needs?” 

Buck smiles and turns to kiss his palm, “I think that can be arranged.”

[bangaveragewhitewine]

Valentine's with Bouncer!Eddie

I did not have time to write a full fic for our favourite Bouncer x Bartender lovers, so please accept these general thoughts and vibes instead ❤️ 

Let’s kick this off with the fact that Bouncer!Eddie is an absolute simp lover boy. Three hundred and sixty-five days a year, this man is spoiling you and being a sweetheart. He worships the ground you walk on.

He is waking you up on Valentine’s with his guitar on and nothing else - think the ‘I love you, bitch. I ain't ever gon’stop loving you, bitch’ video except he refuses to ever call you a bitch even affectionately but you get ✨the vibe✨

He just wants to make you laugh and he succeeds

Sings something silly like L-O-V-E, but with the lyrics changed to suit you / be way too sexual

Rose between his teeth? Check. Nicks his lip on an untrimmed thorn? You bet. (He’s fine, you kiss it better)

He has you for breakfast, making home between your legs until you have to push his head away and beg him to rail you 

Ever obliging, your wish is granted. Twice. 

You cuddle and talk about everything and nothing until you can both walk on your jelly legs to the shower

It’s a while before you make it out of the apartment for breakfast at the diner he brought you to before you actually realised you were down bad for each other 

He bought you a little locket in the shape of a heart and got your initials together engraved inside

Gets a love boner when he puts it on you

You’re both working Valentines (sigh) but the bar is decked out in pink and red streamers and your specials board of cocktails has a few Eddie-approved holiday specials 

He insists you mark him up before work - rosy pink and fiery red and deep purple lipstick marks all over his face and neck and down his chest (around his dick too, but that was your idea) so he fits the theme of the bar 

When you tell him you’re wearing a surprise for him under your work clothes, he’s sporting a semi all night and Michelle has to keep shooing him away from the bar when he comes to beg for a kiss

Literally cannot stop looking at you from the door, he is such a simp for you and you look like a sexy angel behind the bar he wants to elope right now 

You make out in the back alley like two horny high schoolers on your break, for old time's sake 

He’s taking you away for the weekend btw - pack your bag, babe, he’s sorted cover for your shifts at work and everything! 

When you get home you’re both tired but can’t get enough of each other and have really slow sweet sex until the sky gets light again

He’s the happiest man alive when you fall asleep listening to his heartbeat and whispers that he loves you even though you’re fast asleep and maybe you haven’t said it yet but he means it and he will be brave enough to say it for real soon

[littlecrittereli]

Hi, first of all I’d like to say I love your art and writing, I read Reprogrammed in one sitting and it was marvelous, got me thinking of AUs. Everything my angsty little heart could desire. Wild Kratts has been a staple of my childhood so it’s amazing to see talented creators appreciating the show.

Secondly, for your Guardianship AU, that comic you made about Chris calling Martin cringe immediately thrusted a scenario into to brain that I could totally see happening as an alternative plot in “Let the Rhino Roll”

Zach: that’s a child

Chris, being held like a sopping wet kitten by a Zach Bot: and that’s and ugly, pickley, bitch!

Lastly, about the Reprogrammed AU, what’d you think would happen if the bros swapped places (Martin got captured why Chris remained safe). I love making AUs for AUs by tweaking certain things so I’d love to hear your thoughts. Personally I think it’d be a mixed bag as Chris would be both guilty and crippled with anxiety over his lost brother, leading into desperation and lashing out. Meanwhile I think Martin would loath the situation, but also feel weirdly content since he’s the one that got captured. That meant his little brother and friends were all safe and weren’t the ones going through the suffering. He’d probably also have heaping loads of guilt if he hurt Chris cause that’s his little brother who he’d sworn to protect and he just hurt him. So much angst potential

UR SO NICE THANK YOU!!!!!!!

(also that's such a silly prompt for Guardianship AU I will maybe draw that sometime if I get the chance <3 )

oooo.... a Martin version of Reprogrammed.... that would be really interesting! I agree that Martin would probably feel relief that Chris is safe. That is... until any sort of confrontation with Chris or Martin having any suspicion that he's hurt him. Martin would probably self destruct after that. But in a way I think Martin would be able to handle everything else a bit better because Martin takes on the mindset of "Bad things happen sometimes and it's out of our control" Meanwhile Chris is a very meticulous thinker in the sense that there needs to be a reason for things happening, and there needs to be a person to blame them on. And I think Chris would try his absolute best to fill in his brother's role during his absence, but ultimately feel super out of his league and Aviva or Koki would end up being the ones to step up as team lead.

Because as much as Martin goofs off or seems unorganized, I don't think the team realizes just how much they rely on him to make decisions. Ofc they make a lot of choices as a team and it's definitely not Martin bossing them around all the time, but in times of crisis or emergency, Martin's quick decision-making is what keeps them on their feet. Chris is great at planning, organizing, and strategizing, but put him on the spot and the poor guy will implode.

Super interesting concept though! I appreciate your thoughts; thank you for the ask!

[dearest-painter]

Platonic yandere Miguel with Himiko Toga!Reader headcanon?

TW/CW:Yandere behavior, unhealthy behavior, unhealthy relationship, abusive behavior, abusive relationship, NO ROMANCE, Miguel is a delusional bitch, after adopting Himiko toga!reader, tell me if I need to add more!

Summary:No matter where a child comes from a father will love them for so much, especially when they have so much traits like them…that must mean that child is his child yes? Yes it has to be!!

-Definitely makes sure you know he is your dad and loves you even if you aren’t biologically his Yes you are silly! He’s just being king after all those years you didn’t live with him!

-Brings you to Spider society and you have your own watch, NO ONE is allowed to say shit about it as your his child! You are usually in his office while he’s busy or with the other teens

-if anyone insults you he’s immediately making them your next blood bag..he knows killing is bad but when it comes to your child it’s an expectation yes? Of course it is! He’s just protecting you!

-Lyla is also a yandere for you and you two talk often through the watch. If anyone tries to take you somewhere and Miguel didn’t request that she’s immediately telling Miguel while making a force field around you (SHE TRIED TO KILL MIGUEL FIANCÉ IN THE COMICS BY SUFFOCATING HER IN THE SHOWER!! I SHIT YOU NOT THIS IS TRUE)

-Definitely has a tracker on you so he can see where you are at all times, he’s just a bit paranoid and anxious so don’t worry this is all normal!

-Doesn’t want you dating ANYONE! No one is good for you! Your his precious child and he knows best so PLEASE just listen to him and don’t darte anyone!

-Basically you got a two deal because Lyla is a yandere now to! You got a yandere Auntie and dad isn’t that fun!? There no point in escaping now, the AI and your father is much smarter then you and knows how to keep you forever :)

[sanjisluvbot]

Isekai Yandere STRAWHATS X Reader PT 2

Masterlist

1 2 3 4

Hi, welcome to pt 2 🫶🏽 I hope you enjoy this series I’m doing. For this one specifically I think I’ll have around 7-10 parts. 18+ as well. enjoy !

-

“ Why are you here? How did you get here?” You frantically questioned.

“ I’ve come to save you y/n are you really trying to pretend right now”

You didn’t know how you were going to get out of this. Trying to run for it might be silly considering Luffy’s powers might work completely different. Before you can act on anything rubber arms stretched around your waist and connected you to Luffy in an instant.

“ Luffy let me go now or I’ll scream !” You growled as you struggle to get de tangled from his arms. As you were pushing for your freedom you knocked off his hat in the process of mushing his face.

“ Yanno y/n, I think your my most interesting crew mate. It’s never taken me this long to get someone on my ship ” he sneered

The pressure in the room felt like your body was being squished from the ceiling to the floor. this must be what Haki feels like in reality.

He picked up his hat and stomped his way to your room dragging you along right next to him. How long has luffy been in my home that he knows exactly where my room is at. After shutting the door you were sat on your bed and then blindfolded.

“ Luffy can we please just talk and come to an understanding please-”

“ Y/N I understand perfectly fine, your my newest crewmate and you have unresolved issues from your past. I have come to save you and take you home.” He spoke confidently

You didn’t know how to resolve this situation, literally how many people can say their favorite character from a Tv / animated show jumped off the screen to take you back into the show with them. As you rattled your brain for answers you could hear Luffy shuffling around your room doing god knows what.

If I can’t get out of this now I’ll be trapped in that world for good, with the way it’s looking these people completely convinced themselves I am a part of their crew and that they have an odd obsession with a woman they knew for two and a half weeks.

“ Hey Luff”

“ Hm”

“ If i go with you, am I ever going to see my family and friends from here again?”

He continued rummaging through your room without giving you any answer. That only solidified your fear, you need to move fast. Slowly lifting your hand to take the bandana off but your stopped by Luffy’s booming voice.

“ Don’t you dare, you can take it off once we’re on the Sunny”

Ignoring the warning you snatch the bandanna off , the door is open and luffy is going through all your drawers making a complete mess of everything you have. What is he looking for my room is a fucking mess.

“ You just never listen… come and pack your bag”

“ N-no”

As scary as Luffy can be an animated character isn’t going to bitch you no matter what world he’s from.

“ No, you’re gonna take your ass back home without ME I am not a strawhat nor am I from your world. Accept that”

He let out an exasperated sigh and dragged his hand over his face. He looked at you from the corner of his eye making your cheeks burn.

“ I just need you to do as I ask for right now and we can figure out the details later on okay?”

“ I don’t wanna go-”

“ Please”

Starring each other down for what felt like hours before you dashed through the door. Running down the hallway as fast as you could but it was no use. Luffy latched himself to your ankle and you hit the ground in an instant. With your head hitting first your vision was hazy but you were able to make out luffy and his words before falling unconscious.

“ Soon this life will just be a bad distant memory. Everyone missed you over the last two years, I know you feel the same.”

-

Proofread once goodbye 👋

[powderblueblood]

I know this has been done a million and one times, but Eddie just vibing at the gas station. Something inevitably goes wrong. Please and thanks dear Powder

jo my love i present to you 1k+ words of eddie munson's no good very bad wednesday night no warnings! just silly. and acab includes hopper

So it's eight thirty on a Wednesday night, the very armpit of the week, and Eddie's standing there under the glare of the gas station fluorescents. Right in the heart of the snack aisle.

"What's become apparent to me, Sam, is-is-is-is that it's fear. It's the iron claw of the bonds of being a scaredy-cat little bitch that has stunted me fundamentally."

Loaded. So stoned he's stalagmite.

"See, I'm a capable guy. Many capes have I, but it's like, I've finally mastered the fuck-you-chip-on-my-shoulder adolescent thing that I'm reluctant to let it go. I'm skirting around putting on my big boy pants. I'm failing my courses. I'm dumbing myself down to stick around high school, seemingly, on purpose. Because I'm afraid!"

Eddie's pouring his heart out to the narcoleptic octogenarian cashier, the guy that likely built this place out of shiplap and bullet casings way back when it was a horseshit stop for Buffalo Bill's Wild West Freak Show or whoever.

"And I know what you're thinking." Sam isn't thinking anything. Sam's sleeping with his eyes wide open. "Why not really, grr, take root with that family tree, huh? Drop out like my old man and my uncle did? Well, I'll tell ya--"

Eddie wonders, in the middle of his own sentence, what it'd be like to hitch his wagon to an operation like that and coast solely on being a moorless weirdo.

He's really stoned, okay?

"--high school is easy to fail in. Real life? Isn't."

And look, before you get all, he's got good reason. It's been a particular drag of a week, a real sandpaper to the balls kind of kick off. Corroded Coffin's Tuesday night engagement at the Hideout was a special kind of bust--not least of all because the slapdash stage finally gave way under all that threatening creaking, and almost took Jeff's neck with it.

The neck of his bass and his human body. Neither of which Jeff's ass is in any position to fix.

So Eddie's got a band that's bruised and barely in the pocket, and a mouth that won't stop running.

“WSQK 94.5, The Squawk!” Eddie echoes the radio, complete with eagle screech, as the opening chords of Renegade by Ted Nugent & the Amboy Dukes pick up. "Hawk-ening right back to a time when Ted Nugent hadn't yet sold all his actual guitaristry to that pissant Wango Tango-ing... You know what, man, this is it!"

His ringed hands come down on the counter all a-clatter, chip crumbs flying out the bag he hasn't quite paid for yet.

"Lock me in a room full of records under a radio tower and throw away the key, I mean, I would be good to fucking go. None of that shock-jock shit, either. I'd play nothing but real music. The Hawkins Midnight Rambler, huh?" But Sam isn't paying sufficient enough attention. "Think I got a face for radio, Sammy?" Because he's asleep.

It takes a couple of molasses-slow moments for Eddie to register this, he himself still working through his own big sluggishness. I mean, damn, even waving a hand in front of the old man's face is an effort.

He's out, though, like a light. Makes Eddie wonder how this place stays open, much less unrobbed.

Well. Careful what you wish for there, buddy.

His hand is slinking toward a Three Musketeers, ready to nab it from the shelf right under old Sam's nose and write him a little IOU for whenever he next has the cash, but Eddie senses a shuffling behind him.

"Put your fuckin' hands in the air!"

Oh? "Dude, what?"

There's this guy behind him, this guy whose corporeal form Eddie can't be a bajillion percent sure isn't, like, a vivid hallucination, with pantyhose tugged over his face. Poking a pistol around under the cover of his camo jacket. The whole bit.

"Put your hands in the air or I put a hole through ya, asshole! You too, old man!"

Eddie tuts, hands still very much hovering near that candy bar.

"What's the fucking hold up, you and your grandpa tryin' to get shot or somethin?!" this very serious masked assailant demands.

"He's asleep, guy," Eddie says. "He can't hear you."

"What?!" our villain splutters, "Well... wake the fuck up! I ain't got all day and I want what's in that reg--"

He goes to point his still-concealed fuckin' sharp shooter or whatever it is he has at Sam's face, and Eddie, with this strange surge of protectiveness and complete buffoonery, nudges his arm away.

"Don't! Number one, dude's a narcoleptic, you could give him a heart attack if you just woke him up like that--number two, I saw him pull a sawed off from under that counter one time and you're in way closer range so the hole he blows through you is gonna be, like, way bigger and... like, he'll kill you and shit. Be cool."

The would-be thief groans. Oh, god, Eddie just knows he thought this hit job would be way easier. In and out, quick and dirty, wham-bam-thank you Sam.

Eddie nearly laughs. He does laugh, actually, because he's still super-mega fucking high and can't exactly control the noises that come out of his mouth, so next thing the dude is rounding on him with the thing in his pocket. Eddie actually puts his hands up this time. Feels a cold shock go through him somewhere that he really hopes isn't piss.

You ever get that? Get so stoned you constantly think you're peeing yourself? Anyway.

"Get the fuck behind the counter! If the old man can't open the register for me, you're gonna do it!"

"But I don't know how." Liar. Lying ass. Eddie knows how to work a goddamn register. It's not like he's tucking that money from the Hideout straight into his garter belt. Though he could. Maybe he should. Maybe he should buy a garter b--

"I'm gonna tell you how, dickhead!"

"What's in it for me?"

"Is that a fucking joke, wise guy?"

Only kinda. Closed mouths never get fed. "Worth a shot."

But Eddie doesn't really love this dude's tone, so he obediently scoots behind the counter, and almost gets distracted by all the copies of Penthouse Sam is keeping back here. He knew the bastard was holding out on him.

"Um..." Eddie gingerly starts, hands just sort of floating in the direction of the register in a way he hopes to Christ won't disturb Sam and wake him into a world of cardiac calamity.

So the guy tells him what buttons to push, clearly a man of the trade, a fellow familiar with wiling countless hours away behind a counter, which makes Eddie be all, why don't you steal from your own job, you shyster and keeps hitting the wrong buttons on purpose.

But dear old Sammy must have this thing rigged to make Eddie look like an asshole, because out pops the fucking drawer anyhow!

This guy, the pantyhose head, the robber, lets out an honest-to-god yippee! as he reaches over to snatch that cash.

And Eddie, working solely on instinct at this point, narrows his lovely red-rimmed eyes and shoves the drawer right in on the unlucky fuck's fingers.

He screams. And Eddie screams. And something falls out of his pocket. And Eddie leans over the counter, expecting to see and hear the shiny clatter of a pistol hit the lino.

But there is no such hardware.

It was a banana in his pocket. He was not happy to see you.

"What the fuck, man!" they chorus in near unison. They could have been brothers in another life, says some disembodied voice in the back of Eddie's head.

But then, something yellow flies towards Eddie's face and the shock of it knocks him right back into the lotto tickets and cigarettes. Thunk! His head knocks far too hard against the fire extinguisher and now there's two unconscious guys behind the counter.

Now, I don't know if you've ever had a banana thrown in your face by a masked assailant before, but I would call that something of an overreaction.

Anyway, he wakes up to police sirens and that Callaghan dweeb hauling him up by the front of his Hellfire shirt.

"Sshsjesus, Officer Handsy, buy a guy dinner first," Eddie slurs, head pounding. Callaghan's dorky Buddy Holly glasses have an aura around them that he unconsciously tries to swat away.

"He's resisting arrest!" Callaghan yells.

"Keep it down, I have a headache!" Eddie blinks once, twice, twenty-million times and is still having a tough time taking stock of his surroundings. Cash drawer's open and empty, and Sam is nowhere to be seen. "Didja catch the guy or what? He had a banana gun. Threw it right at me."

"Pipe down. Edward Munson, you're under arrest for armed robbery--"

"--wait, hold on--"

"--endangering the elderly--"

"--hold the fuck on!"

"--and swearing at a police officer!" Callaghan clicks the cuffs on and Eddie's about to burst, he's so mad and his head is pounding with such a fury. Shuffling him out into the forecourt and into the squad car like some kind of penguin idiot!

"That last thing isn't even real!" he spits, "None of this is real--I was trying t--fuck, did you not hear me about the banana gun?!"

"Reminds me to drug test him when we get back to the station," Callaghan puffs as he slides into the passenger seat.

"No one's drug testing anybody," Chief Hopper grumbles from behind the wheel. "We don't even have those facilities. Plus, kid doesn't even have any of that stolen cash on him."

"Thank you!" Eddie barks from his seat in the back. He can't really seem to sit upright, and he doesn't know whether to contribute that to the lump that's risen on the back of his head or the drugs that are definitely still in his system.

"W--well, why are we arresting him, then?" Callaghan blubs. Which is actually a salient point.

The Chief shrugs. "I'unno. Wednesday night. Somethin' to do."

[the-owl-tree]

I'm sorry if I've asked you this before, I genuinely don't remember, but why does everyone dislike yellowfang's secret? I like it a lot as a story, I find her powers silly but no one seems to have that issue... What is it?

It's been a while since I've read it so I'm going off of memory but my general reasons why I had so many problems getting through the book were:

Yellowfang herself isn't really Yellowfang? She's not snappy or grumpy and doesn't really act in the same way she does in TNP. She's just kind of the punching bag of the book without any of her signature sass to at least make her as a protagonist enjoyable.

The power in itself is an unnecessary retcon, it's only there to force Yellowfang into becoming a medcat and, well, there lies an even bigger issue: we are once again recycling the plotline of a cat forced to be a medcat when oooghgh they just wanna be average :( it's frustrating to me that Yellowfang gets so much of her own autonomy ripped away in this book, to the point where she can't even CHOOSE to be a medcat.

Her backstory in the original books was that she was a Warriors turned medcat and that's interesting. The life of the warrior is glamorized, it's the ideal life for Clan cats, so characters who CHOOSE to turn their back on it to heal are really interesting conceptually! The powers completely ruin this, it's a cheap cop out that's forgotten as soon as the book doesn't have to force Yellowfang into a job she should've wanted.

Why do books treat this position like a punishment or something embarrassing. It's Bad Writing above all because the position is important! It is a necessary part of the Clan to function, medcats should be treated with respect! But that's a whole other response.

That's also where Sagewhisker comes in, the mentor figure who, uh, pressures Yellowfang into doing something she doesn't want to do and yet the narrative continues to affirm is Correct.

I could go on but Bonefall has a good post on Sagewhisker that I personally agree with that adds screenshots and details.

It's just....miserable watching Yellowfang be dragged into a position she doesn't want and I don't know why they would choose the most miserable possible route with this character.

That's not even getting into Raggedstar, the good ol' abusive male love interest who's actions are swept under the rug as he guilt trips, berates, and generally treats Yellowfang like garbage! Despite an entire super edition of abuse and the website acknowledging he's abusive - his actions will never fully be held accountable and he will consistently be portrayed as the Nice Leader who just wanted what was best for his Clan <3

His own abuse of Yellowfang is never acknowledged and fuck's sakes the books play the Nightcloud card and go "well, guess what, it's a WOMAN'S fault that Brokenstar happened!"

In a book already swimming with misogynistic writing, the authors decided to up the ante and introduce Lizardstripe: the mean bitch mom who doesn't want to be a mom and that's all you need to be told to know she's an abusive evil woman.

The book will never actually show you scenes of her being abusive, they will literally just write scenes of her saying she doesn't want to be a mother as a shorthand of her being abusive.

I'm sure this definitely doesn't factor into the writing team's incredibly conservative ideology towards motherhood's and women's roles.

I'm gonna link Bonefall again, he's just good posts that really delve into the problems with this and I'd honestly just be reiterating a lot of his posts if I talked on my own lol

Yellowfang's Secret takes everything interesting about Yellowfang and just flat out ignores it or makes it worse. It's miserable to read, it's just page after page of Yellowfang getting beaten down.

And you could argue that's the point, that Yellowfang believes she deserves her troubles, but I don't think that's the case. I think the book is just troubling in its handling of motherhood and abuse, it handles them poorly.

Bad Book i guess. sucks! i think Yellowfang as a character could fill up an entire super edition, but the one they wrote is miserable garbage.

I can't even remember the plot outside the medcat stuff. Idk mean clan cat invasion time for no reason?? Uuhh kittypet attack?? i don't find it memorable outside of the stuff that actively upset me.

[cairavende]

Worm Arc 14 thoughts through 14.7 (there is too much for one post, I mean I could probably get four to five posts from 14.11 alone):

The team figures out Siberian's whole "is a projection" thing pretty quickly. Good for them.

I really want to know who ripped out page 325 for the "how horrible of a thing have I done that I don't want shared" check. I strongly lean Trickster but I'm not sure. I want more details on the Travelers and TiaV dammit!

Amy is having a bad day. Probably really a continuation of a bad few days. She probably didn't really need those fingers right?

Skitter criticizing Amy in her head for not being "creative" enough with her power is so on brand. Of course my daughter has already detailed out the complex ways she would use a power she doesn't even have. I love her.

I really wish the Undersiders/Travelers combo would stop splitting the fucking party. If they had just sent everyone after Siberian I bet the could have gotten the dude.

I do have have Skitter has gotten to a point where one of her "start of combat" actions is to just make a fuck ton of bug decoys. Almost without thought at this point.

Have I mentioned how much I love the "writing words in the air with bugs to communicate with people"? Cause I do. It makes sense. It would work. It lets her communicate long range. But it's also very silly to imagine. Very Silver Age in the best way.

Then it gets even better! Skitter makes a full blown animation to tell Amy that Siberian is trying to drop a building on her. Absolutely fucking perfection.

Tattletale maybe misjudged ever so slightly in what she revealed to Siberian. The combo of Siberian just flickering out of existence and everyone being like "oh fuck" was very good.

Amy trying to do her bullshit again and Tattletale having none of it, just destroying every argument before Amy even makes them until Amy agrees to come and help. More than makes up for any mistakes Tattletale made with Siberian.

The relay bugs are super neat.

Fucking high speed mutant dog/car chase. Absolutely fucking AMAZING. I loved every part of it. Ending with Sundancer just dropping a 50 foot wide sun on the road.

Tattletale trolling the shit out of Piggot and the heroes gives me life.

Also, Piggot's phone conversation with Tattletale was basically a villain monologue. For Piggot. Just all the shit about why she was doing it, why it was for the best, the coy little "sorry your teammates are gonna die, it's just an unfortunate side effect". All of it. This bitch is evil.

My daughter fucking tying up Crawler with spiderwebs. HOLY SHIT KID. God damn.

Very Mulan "Get off the roof, get off the roof, get off the roof" energy as they all run the fuck away from the bombing zone.

BUG HORSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BUG HORSE BUG HORSE BUG HORSE BUG HORSE BUG HORSE!!!!

AMY MADE MY DAUGHTER A FLYING BUG HORSE I'M DYING!

TAYLOR CAN BE THE (BUG)HORSE GIRL SHE WAS ALWAYS MEANT TO BE!

It rescues her and she has to teach it how to fly and they form a bond and she saves it and it saves her and and and she gives it a NAME! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

She's only had Atlas for a day and a half but if anything happens to him I will burn the world to the ground. Then I'll find another world and burn it to the ground too.

Firebombs don't really do shit but destroy a chunk of the city, probably kill some civilians, and make the heroes lives pretty fucking hard as they have to rely on the randomness of Clockblocker's power.

Also weren't there supposed to be a bunch of Nazis also getting hit by the bombs? One of the only somewhat maybe kinda almost decent parts of the plan Piggot and they aren't even here!

Piggot's plan is terrible and evil is what I'm saying.

The only reason nearly every hero doesn't end up permanently trapped or whatever inside Cache's bag of holding is cause Skitter was there to keep him from being crushed by a car. Well, Skitter and her bug horse (BUG HORSE!)

Skitter got to shoot Mannequin in the back. Very satisfying even if it didn't do long term damage.

Sucks to be Cache. He's . . . probably fine? I mean at least he got everyone out as he was melting.

Really sucks to be Glory Girl. She is . . . uhhh . . . hmmm . . . not dead. I can at least say that.

I mean Skitter got her to Amy. And Amy did stop her from dying. So like . . . she's probably going to be fine. Yep. Juuuuuust fine.

(Look if Amy wasn't a bitch about giving Atlas a digestive system I might be willing to forgive a lot. My daughters (bug)horse comes first. But Amy didn't so I won't. At least Grue was able to help. He gets a lot of brownie points for that.)

Anyway, Victoria needed to take some time to heal the rest of the way so she left completely under her own free will. And it will never come up again.

Bombin' 2: Electric HOLY FUCK PIGGOT YOU REALLY ARE CRAZY Bombgaloo

Kill a few more civilians and maybe Crawler and Mannequin. Destroy more of the city (including the library!) in a way that will probably never be salvageable (I mean at least some of it is stopped in time for god knows how long). Jack, Bonesaw, and Siberian escape. And because of what was done Bonesaw is going to activate her bio-weapon.

Great job Piggot. Gold star. You fucking did it. You saved the city. You motherfucking idiot.

[sparklecryptid]

okay so. I was plunging the depths of the Royal Bastard AU tag (it started in 2018. I've been here for most of that. time is illegal now), and I was struck with. an absolutely silly way for an Ace!Reveal to go:

Ace is not the Tallest person to work in his bar. he isn't the shortest either, but. that's irrelevant right now. anyway: Ace works with Tall People. this is relevant, because the lighter he needs for this drink is up On A Shelf.

Ace considers the shelf.

Ace could climb the shelf. He could call one of the many, many glaives over to get it for him. He could even warp up to the shelf. Ace decides to set the drink aflame with a poke instead.

Ace turns. he is met with A Stare. Ace has Many Regrets.

- ^_^ anon

Ace stares at his Glaives.

His Glaives stare back.

“You saw nothing,” Ace says in the same tone his mother used when he, Nyx, and Libertus did something they definitely weren’t supposed to do.

His Glaives do not buy it. One of them makes a strangled noise. Another stares at her drink like it contains the secret to the universe.

The Glaives that Ace knows extremely well don’t look particularly shocked but they all look like they want to strangle him.

Pelna in particular looks like he’s ten seconds away from following in the footsteps of his ancestors and murdering a Lucis Caelum.

Luche looks mildly annoyed, like he lost a bet he had money on.

“You owe me 200 Gil,” Tredd says to Luche, “I told you it would be something stupid that let the cat out of the bag.”

Luche grumbles.

“You had money on it?” A Glaive balks at the idea.

“It’s rather obvious,” Luche says dryly, “Once you know him that is.”

“Hey,” Ace says, “I think I did a decent job of not being found out!”

“You literally just outed yourself because you didn’t think to ask any of us for a lighter.”

“Luche, shut up. For all you know I could be a member of the Crownsguard.”

“But you’re not.”

“….Stop being smart.”

Luche’s unimpressed gaze is the work of legends.

“Your husband and Libertus will be informed as soon as they walk through the door that you did something stupid.”

“They don’t know!”

“Ace, we all know. Or had suspicions. You are too weird to not be a Lucis Caelum.”

“…I’m not that bad.”

“Your uncle threw you off a cliff and you survived. I know this because you went to Pelna and began bitching about it immediately after it happened.”

[illarian-rambling]

Thanks for the tag @phoenixradiant!

OC Interview

I've been seeing people do two characters at once, so I'll do Sepo and Izjik as a pair :)

.

Are you named after anyone?

Izjik: "My name is a common one where I'm from, but I don't think I was named after anyone specific, no."

Sepo: "If I was, my mother croaked before she could tell me."

When was the last time you cried?

Izjik: "I dropped a bag of hammers on my foot at work the other day and spirits, they probably heard be about ten miles over!"

Sepo: "I don't cry."

Izjik: "Yes the fuck you do? Broody bastard. I saw you tearing up when we went and saw that new band. You cried last time you had to deal with the bounty guild because the guild leader makes you so damn angry. I know for a fact you get weepy every time you get so much as three drinks in you."

Sepo: "...no comment. Bitch."

Do you have kids?

Sepo: "You'd fucking think we do looking after Twenari. And she's not even half the trouble Djek is - and he's a grown-ass man."

Izjik: "Cut him some slack, he's like nineteen. But yeah, two kids pretty much. I've even been to a PTA meeting! That makes me certified parental material!"

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Sepo: "Nooo, never..."

Izjik: "Low hanging fruit, my guy. I'm usually not sarcastic, though - it's not my style."

What is the first thing you notice about people?

Izjik: "If they're going to try to kill and eat me."

Sepo: "Ditto. Then I move on to what makes them annoying."

Izjik: "You're so negative, you know that? My second impression is their hands. You can tell a lot about a person based on their hands."

What is your eye color?

Izjik: "Kind of a blue gray? Slate, Twenari calls it."

Sepo: "Sirens all have eyes of black."

Izjik: "And a good thing to, given how stupid big your pupils are."

Sepo: "The fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Izjik: "If you had blue eyes, you'd look kinda silly is what I mean."

Scary movies or happy endings?

Sepo: "Scary, though it takes a lot to phase me."

Izjik: "Bullshit, you jump every time the camera angle changes. I like scary too, but with happy endings. Things can get bad, yeah, but it's always good to see folks making it out in the end."

Any special talents?

Izjik: "I can do a one-handed pushup!"

Sepo: "That's because one of your hands hardly works."

Izjik: "You're just a hater because you can't do one. That can be your special talent - being a hater."

Sepo: "Yes, fine, let's brush over my musical composition abilities and skills in veterinary medicine. My true special talent is being a hater."

Izjik: "Damn straight."

Where were you born?

Izjik: "The enclave of Edeme’eneha, deep in the N'Diki swamp. I think it was a lovely place to grow up, all in all. I really miss it sometimes."

Sepo: "I was born in a brothel basement in the Ulahdrian capital city of Seluthena, the largest metropolis beneath the waves. I... I also miss it sometimes."

Do you have any pets?

Izjik: "Nah. I never really got the concept of an animal you don't eat."

Sepo: "Landhorse is more of a business partner. She gets me where I need to be, and in exchange, I give her food, shelter, and pet her sweet nose from time to time. She's the best of horses, a gentlewoman among beasts."

What sort of sports do you play?

Izjik: "Does fighting for fun count? There's this bar I like where I can always get into a scrap if I'm looking for one. I think people have started placing bets every time I walk in."

Sepo: "I would go on cross-country camping trips when I was a teen in the Saryimastra Seat. That involved swimming for a few days at least, so I suppose it could be a sport. I found it very relaxing, escaping from all the noise and fuss of the temple. Sometimes Saius would go with me, but usually, I'd go off on my own."

How tall are you?

Izjik: "Tall enough to skin my fist on your teeth, lanky ass!"

Sepo: "You are five foot two. I'm six foot five. I really don't think you are."

What was your favorite subject in school?

Izjik: "I never went, but I liked learning how to set snares during my apprenticeship. It was the only thing I'd sit still for. Looking back, maybe that's why Dzako had me learn so many."

Sepo: "My education was rather... propaganda-filled. Most of the history I enjoyed learning turned out to be false. A lot of the books I read were horribly censored, though I didn't know it at the time. I suppose music. You can twist the words and intentions of music to whatever aims you wish, but the heart of it is always pure."

What is your dream job?

Izjik: "I mean, whatever gets me paid and let's me work outside. I heard Twenari talking once about these people called potion hunters? Apparently, they hunt magical plants and animals for alchemists to use in their work. That sounds like a hell of a lot of fun!"

Sepo: "I've... This is going to sound stupid, but I've always wanted to compose my own songs. In Ulahdris, music was strictly regulated and created by the church. But here on the surface? It's chaos. Any asshole with a kazoo can play whatever he wants. I... Oh, it's all nonsense anyways. I'm fine doing what I need to in order to survive."

Izjik: "You've gotta let yourself live a little, Sepo. I'd love to hear your music!"

Sepo: "Truly? Then... Then perhaps someday, I'll work up the courage."

.

World's most married platonic soulmates, for real. I'll tag @kaylinalexanderbooks @mk-writes-stuff @sleepyowlwrites @corinneglass and anyone else who wants to play :)