#the animated short was so fucking good and beautiful and i cried like 1000 times but god it killed the fandom's critical thinking skills hf

[narzissenkreuz-ordo]

people who scream 'dan heng is NOT dan feng whatsoever' yet always tag any dan feng content as 'dan heng'

[leviathanswingman]

killing me softly, chapter 10: the intervention

„Lord Diavolo, this is an intervention.“

The words were echoing through the music room as everyone kept quiet for several moments.

Then, Diavolo crossed his arms in front of his chest and tilted his head. „An intervention, you say? You should have told me beforehand, I would have prepared a bit more. Who is it for?“

Satan stared at the demon prince intensely. „You have got to be kidding me,“ he murmured as he turned around to Yuuta, who was sitting next to him on the couch. „It's useless, they're both complete idiots.“ He shook his head in disbelief and Yuuta shrugged his shoulders in defeat.

Barbatos shushed them with a vague hand gesture as he approached Diavolo.

„Which is exactly why we are forced to do this,“ he added to Satan's statement. He pushed his pointer a little too hard for comfort against Diavolo's chest as he invaded his space. „We're doing this for both your and Lucifer's sake, since neither of you seem reasonable enough to put an end to this nonsense. This intervention today is for you, my lord.“

Diavolo stared at him and blinked in confusion. „Oh? And what exactly would this be about? Did I do anything that would warrant an intervention?“

Belphegor, leaning against Beelzebub's shoulder, yawned. „It's about the obvious boner you have for Luci-“ he drawled lazily, yet loud enough for the whole room to hear before Beel quickly slapped his hand over Belphie's mouth.

„Belphie!“

Belphegor pulled his brother's hand away from his mouth. „What, I'm just saying what everyone was thinking.“

Asmodeus grinned as he watched his younger brothers. „I couldn't have said it better myself!“

Mammon smacked the back of Asmo's head. „Oi, stop playing around!“

„Ow! I didn't do anything! You could've ruined my beautiful hair, you could've given me a concussion with that! Do you really want to see your cute baby brother dead so badly, you brute?!“

„Guys, now is not the time. As much as I hate to say it, we're here to help that bastard Lucifer,“ Yuuta chimed in.

Diavolo watched their conversation with cautious eyes. „You all know,“ he said, more of a statement rather than a question.

All eight pairs of eyes went straight back to Diavolo.

Asmo's head snapped back to Barbatos. „He knows?!“ he cried in disbelief.

„Yes, he knows. I caught him and Lucifer, as you would put it, in flagrante.“

„You did what?!“

„Ya caught them doing what?! Didn't think Lord Diavolo had game like that. I mean, to seduce Lucifer of all people, ya gotta have some damn good skills.“

Diavolo raised his hands in defence. „I might not know what you're trying to suggest with 'in flagrante', but I get the feeling that there's a big misunderstanding here. It is true though that I am aware of Lucifer's hanahaki. I was with him when he suddenly collapsed and started to vomit flowers. I was really worried so I carried him to my private chambers and tended to his needs.“

Levi's eyes shot up and he twiddled with the zipper of his hoodie as he approached Lord Diavolo. „I've watched a lot of anime about the hanahaki disease, so I guess you could say I'm somewhat of an expert in that department. So you were with him when it happened? Are you sure about that? I mean you could be making a mistake. Are you 100-  no, are you 1000% positive about that?“ he urged, his words picking up in both pace and volume the more he talked.

Mammon, straddling a chair as he had his arms crossed over the backrest, shook his head. „Whaddaya mean 'are ya sure'? How can ya not be sure of something like that. Ya wanna get popped too, Levi?“

“I'm asking if he was the only one present when it happened, you moron!” Levi now mustered Lord Diavolo more intensely. “No matter what I've read or watched about hanahaki, the person present during most of the attacks generally turned out to most likely be the cause for the disease,” he muttered and leaned a bit closer towards Diavolo. “It doesn't seem too impossible if you really think about it, right?”

Mammon stood up and walked over to his brother, plopping down on the couch next to him, bent over with his forearms resting on his thighs.

“Are ya implying what I think ya are? Lucifer has that damn disease because of Lord Diavolo? It's Lucifer we're talking about! Lucifer! I can't even wrap my head around the idea of him having any lovey dovey feelings for anyone to begin with!”

“Precisely. Which is why this is the only plausible conclusion, right Barbatos?” Satan questioned.

With that, Beel walked over to Diavolo and placed his hands on his shoulders, gently pushing him down onto another chair. “Maybe it's better if you sit down for this.”

Diavolo didn't protest and simply sat down, interlocking his hands as he let his elbows rest on the arm leans, a now thoughtful expression on his face. For a moment, he was quiet before turning around to Barbatos.

“I see your concern,” he started, “but I am not the solution to this problem. I want to help Lucifer just as much as every single one of you do, but even I can't just save him like that.” His eyes darkened considerably as he redirected his gaze to the ground. “No matter how much I want to,” he mumbled, barely audible.

Barbatos crossed his arms as he took in the sorry sight of his sulking lord. A sigh escaped his lips. “You are not listening, my lord. There is quite literally no other person who would come even remotely close to being a possible suspect. I found out about Lucifer's disease even before you did.  It was the night of our return to RAD, right after Lucifer welcomed us back.” As he continued talking he slowly made his way towards Diavolo's chair. “Don't you remember his strange behaviour? The way he had suddenly disappeared?”

“Well-”

“Excuse my rude interruption, but I will fill you in as to what happened. I followed him and caught him as he had a severe hanahaki attack and lost consciousness. I confronted him after he woke up again. Although I will not reveal what exactly it was that Lucifer told me, I can say as much: I was very blunt with him and he did not deny anything I accused him of. Yet also, he once again proved to be incredibly stubborn. I urged him to confess to that person, but he vehemently refused to do so.”

Diavolo sighed as he rubbed his temples. “Him and that stupid pride of his. Why didn't he say anything? If I hadn't caught him that day, I would still be none the wiser now.”

Now Asmodeus chimed in as well. “I also tried to give him advice, but all he did was rudely choke me and then later throw a flower pot after me. Point taken, I did overdo it and teased him a bit too much, but now that I think of it, he didn't correct any of my assumptions either, did he, Yuuta?”

For a moment Yuuta kept quiet as he went back to their conversation in Lucifer's study. “Yeah, he threw you around like a rag doll and yelled at us to mind our own business, but he didn't say anything else. He definitely didn't deny anything.”

Asmodeus sighed as he threw his arms around Yuuta. “And I thought him and Diavolo had already talked it out! Lord Diavolo, after you asked little old me to call Lucifer to distract him I was so certain that everything would be alright and we'd have another power couple at RAD soon! Is romance really dead nowadays?” he sulked and Yuuta petted his head.

“Speaking of,” Satan added, “when I came to talk to him, I saw a peculiar thing. I expected him to be alone but when I opened the door, I walked in on him and Diavolo sleeping together in the same bed. This really doesn't help your case now, does it Diavolo?”

The whole room filled with murmurs.

“Asleep in the same bed?? How dirty! I really didn't take you for the casanova type, Lord Diavolo!”

“Asmo, now is not the-”

Levi quickly sprung up. “I just saw him in the bathroom! For some reason he had punched a hole in the stall wall, which really reminded me of 'My heart keeps racing whenever I look at you but we are childhood friends who are cursed to stay five feet apart from each other so I couldn't possibly love you', which is a-”

Voices kept overlapping until the room was filled with a crescendo of chaos. Diavolo still sat on his chair, troubled, as the demon brothers came up with instance after instance, irrefutable evidence filling his ears bit by bit, instance after instance.

“Jesus fuck, y'all make me want to take up smoking again,” Yuuta muttered as he threw an annoyed gaze at Barbatos. “Was this really a good idea?”

For the shortest of moments Barbatos was wondering the same thing. After all, Lucifer had been this secretive to not get anyone else involved, especially not his brothers.

Then, Barbatos remembered his plan, any former doubt crushed again.

“Do not fret, everything is going according to plan,” he told Yuuta confidently.

As Lucifer's brothers were still talking over each other, Barbatos rounded the chair and faced Diavolo. “My Lord, is this finally enough proof to you?”

Finally, Diavolo lifted his head and faced Barbatos, the expression on his face unreadable. After a short moment he sighed, running his hands over his thighs in an agitated fashion.

“Silence!” his voice suddenly boomed and everyone went quiet. He stood up and started to pace the room. “I know Lucifer does not love me. I have known for a long time,” he growled. There was no use hiding his feelings anymore, after all, they had never been much of a secret to begin with.

“But-” Levi began to butt in, but was quickly shushed by Barbatos.

Diavolo continued. “As I said before, I am aware of the difference between my love for Lucifer and his devotion to me. I respect your brother, which is why I am content with the loyalty he gives me.” He stopped in his tracks and turned around to Lucifer's brothers again. “But I see your concern and I see the points you've made, which is why I will humour you this once. After all, we all have the same goal. We all want to see Lucifer get better.” He clenched his fists. “Still, I am not the culprit you are looking for. Whatever it takes, I will find them and make them take responsibility. Even if it means giving Lucifer away to someone who clearly doesn't deserve him.” Even if it means losing a little part of him, Diavolo added in his thoughts. He unclenched his fists and let out a deep breath. “Leave me alone now, I need to think.”

One after another, the brothers left, stunned by Diavolo's sudden outburst. They could still feel the pressure of Diavolo's undeniable power lingering in the air.

Eventually, everyone except for Barbatos and Diavolo had left. Quietly, Diavolo pulled on Barbatos' sleeve, trying to catch his attention.

“Yes, my lord?”

“How much time do we have left? To sort this out, I mean?” he asked and Barbatos watched him carefully. He hadn't witnessed Lord Diavolo this upset in a long time. Although outwardly, the demon prince still looked rather collected, inwardly, he was clearly upset and worried. For a moment, Barbatos saw the child in him again, saw the boy he used to tend after in an empty, lonely palace, saw a boy eagerly waiting for the return of a father who had left, only to be disappointed over and over again. That boy who used to cover his pain with boisterous laughter and bright expressions was standing before him again, just as he had been back then.

Barbatos smiled sadly. “You have three days at most. I would recommend you talk to him after the celebration as he is quite busy now. Three days are the most I can give you. I have always been one to be frank with you, Lord Diavolo. He will not make it to day four.”

Diavolo let go of Barbatos' sleeve and straightened his posture, a certain sadness in his eyes. “Thank you. I'm glad I can always count on you, Barbatos.”

“Of course, my lord.”

With that, Diavolo left the music room, making his way towards his chambers, lost in thought. Memories of Lucifer flashed through his mind, unwavering and unforgiving.

The first time they met, the undeniable pull he had felt towards him the moment those deep red eyes had focused on only him, a disgusted expression sullying Lucifer's angelic features. He had looked so different back then. Clad in white, baby blue and gold, dark locks framing his face, falling down his back, down his back to where innocent white, magnificent wings were softly swaying with the breeze.

Then there was the time after Lucifer's fall from heaven. Barbatos and him had gathered Lucifer up, had picked up all the angry pieces, offering a deal. It was a deal Lucifer had taken with such fury and passion, a deal Lucifer had made with such pride. Under Lucifer's bitter gaze, Diavolo had known, he was in trouble.

And oh, in how much trouble he was now.

No matter what it would take, no matter how much it would hurt him, Diavolo was fully committed to saving Lucifer. After all, he was his one and only, his perfect morning star.

His Lucifer.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6 , Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9,  Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13

*nsfw chapter

taglist: @el-does-photography

[scumfuckpartyboy]

Odds

Holy shit ok

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? My friend Zoë, while I cried on New Years 3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? My friend Saffron 5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?  Zoë, my absolute mom 7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Who knows! I’m open to it! 9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Not really? I guess it depends who I’m talking to about it. Maybe if it was my mom or something 11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “Horny murder used to really be humanity’s only vibe” 13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? If it’s the right person, a very enthusiastic yes 15. What good thing happened this summer? Absolutely nothing, I worked a full time job so I’d have money for moving into my own place 17. Do you think there is life on other planets? I think it’s selfish and foolish to believe humans are all we’ve got. What makes Earth so special? in short, yes 19. Do you like bubble baths? I don’t take them very often, but yes 21. What are your bad habits? Smoking cigarettes was the biggest one, but I’ve quit as of 5 or so days ago 23. Do you have trust issues? I used to have a big problem with trust, but i think once I’ve given someone my trust they have it until they don’t. I’d like to say I don’t have an issues trusting people, but humans have flaws so sometimes it’s tough. I trust my kin 25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? Probably my fluctuating gut/lack thereof or my Shoulders weirdly enough (ACNE SUCKS) 27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? I’m sorta pasty but it doesnt bother me. My only problem with my skin is my acne or the lack of full body tattoos 29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Nope lol 31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? Yes 33. Spell your name with your chin. jhdcxhygdsdsebn damn that’s tough on a keyboard 35. Would you rather live without TV or music? TV 1000% 37. What do you say during awkward silences? Nothing 39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Anything with old, secondhanded or odd items 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? I think people can change, but sometimes it’s unlikely. Case by Case basis on this one 43. Do you smile at strangers? Yeah 45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? Dusty trails and the woman I long for 47. Have you ever been high? Yes 49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? I don’t think so 51. Ever wished you were someone else? Yes, but not really anyone in specific. I just don’t wanna be me sometimes 53. Favourite makeup brand? I don’t wear makeup, but if i did it’d probably be drugstore. that’s my vibe 55. Favourite blog? Nemfrog (or Dirtmunch) 57. Favourite food? I’m a big fan of diner food and goldfish crackers. I like foreign food a lot but dont really know anything about it 59. First thing you ate this morning? A muffin 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? I havent, I almost did in elementary school for getting in a fistfight, but I assure that makes me sound cooler than I am 63. Ever been in love? Yes 65. Are you hungry right now? Not really 67. Facebook or Twitter? Twitter, but i’ve fallen off of it recently 69. Are you watching tv right now? No  71. Craving something? What? Excitement 73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Nah, they usually get thrown off when i get in 75. Favourite animal? I’m very infatuated with large cats. like tigers n leopards n lions n shit. fish are cool 77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla 79. What colour shirt are you wearing? Blue 81. Favourite tv show? I’m more of a movie guy 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? Haven’t seen either  85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? see 83 87. First person you talked to today? Saffron 89. Name a person you hate? I don’t think i truly hate anyone in my life? Cops and Politicians are high on the list 91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Yes 93. How many sweatpants do you have? 0 95. Last movie you watched? The Ballad of Buster Scruggs 97. Favourite actor? Mads Mikkelsen (adam’s apples, flammen og citronnen, any of those gems) ( i also have a soft spot for Lee Van Cleef, makes a hell of a good villan) 99. Have any pets? No 101. Do you type fast? Semi-fast 103. Can you spell well? Pfft, mediocre at best. Autocorrect is your friend 105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Yeah, in high school my dad built a bonfire pit in our back yard so i hosted a few. 107. Have you ever been on a horse? Nope. (I’m a phony cowboy city slicker) 109. Is something irritating you right now? There always seems to be some thorn in my side 111. Do you have trust issues? Already answered, but basically, Not really unless you give me a reason not to trust you 113. What was your childhood nickname? Jaybro or Jade 115. Do you play the Wii? Yes! gotone in my living room. Warioware smooth moves and Wii sports are big hits 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? Yes, but i like chicken and rice more 119. Favourite book? The Hobbit or Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas 121. Are you mean? Sometimes. I try to not be 123. Can you keep white shoes clean? Fuck no 125. Do you believe in true love? I’d say yes. You can love anyone any time, some people really are perfect for eachother. that doesn’t make it work though 127. What makes you happy? Ar, friends and Music 129. What your zodiac sign? Gemini 131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Depends. I’m kinda hoping for this right noe. so im not a great person to ask. If I’m not interested I’ll tell them that, and give them any space they might need 133. Favourite lyrics right now? “Are you sick of me? Would you like to be?” 135. Dumbest lie you ever told? i can’t place a point on one lie, maybe telling myself i wasn’t Bi for like 10 years 137. How tall are you? 6′2″ 139. Brunette or Blonde? Brunette, blonde’s have too much fun 141. Night or Day? Night, it takes a pretty beautiful day to capture the magic of snow falling in a streetlamp 143. Are you a vegetarian? nope 145. Tea or Coffee? Coffee 147. Mars or Snickers? Snickers 149. Do you believe in ghosts? I don’t know, which might be a cop out, but that’s the best I’ve got in that one. (Probably not, but who knows! I’m not all-knowing)

[stray-tori]

| 2017 Personal Rewind |

for two hours over here, actually. But it’s time for me to ramble about it! But I won’t make you scroll over it for an endless time, instead I’m offering you to read it by clicking keep reading ;)

FANDOMS

Okay, so fandom-wise, this year has been quite Cartoon-dominated. I think I watched like 10 cartoons, but only 2 anime. And that’s with someone who actually called cartoons out for how childish they can be and how they don’t fit my humour (I’m all about them anime-humour apparantly). So I myself was surprised when I noticed how many cartoons I watched this year:

Steven Universe I watched this one before 2017, and 2017 had the longest hiatus for SU ever, so uhhh yeah it wasn’t the best year but we had the Zoo and Abduction Arcs SOOOO yay? Like most, I have noticed a drop in excitement, but I still love this show for things it does so I can’t be too mad.

Star vs the forces of evil I am not sure if I watched season 1+2 this year or last (damn my memory), but I know I wasn’t too fond of this show. I didn’t think it was bad, it simply didn’t fascinate me the same way SU did. Even with battle for Mewni, I only liked the Eclipsa and Moon Parts and not much beyond that. In the new season I’ve grown to really like Tomstar for some reason, but I still think the episodes are too random at times and there is sometimes too little connection between them. But maybe I’m just too used to SU being slow-paced that I can’t handle how fast Star is jumping between events.

Voltron I'm not sure if S2 was this year or last year, but any way Voltron has been part of my 2017. I’ve had a phase where I really shipped Plance due to the Ouran High School Host Club Vibes it gave me back when I watched S1 and this year it decided to come back at me.  Else, the material has been great! I love the series, and how serious it is and how it doesn’t focus on romantic love AT ALL. I really like that, even if I started this Section with saying what I shipped. I’m so hyped Matt is back and the Keith almost-sacrifice scene really got me like I actually thought they were gonna do it. They never get me with almost-deaths. NEVER. 

Wakfu As Season 3 came closer so grew my expectations. When I finally watched it, I was blown away. I won’t sugar-coat that the Time-Paradox thing was 1000% Bullshit, but it won’t stop me from loving this season, even if it had it’s weak elements. But I just loved the rest too much and while I am picky with it, I can’t get myself to not enjoy it (which I’m really happy about because I hate it when some elements ruin something for me). If you wanna hear more of me rambling, go here for the post and here for the s3 tag.

Miraculous Oh I have a love-hate relationship with this show. I can see the potential and all, but it’s just too episodic for me, relies a bit too much on the cute love-square that changes progress every episode. The characters don’t always feel like what is established about them (for example, Adrien loved Ladybug, yet in the new season he KEEPS being overly nice to Marinette like dude sure you’re a bit oblivious but ughhh) and there are no conflicts present for more than one episode.  I really don’t like how they lured me in with the first episode being story-heavy and then keeping nothing happening for like 5 episodes. The only episodes I can even remember what actually really happened were “The Collector” bc of the obvious Gabriel-Adrien-Drama, the episode where her aunt (?) visits bc I heard she’s plot-relevant, but I don’t see how tbh; the episode with the Owl because it actually went out of the usual formular for an episode and Robustus because it had some story I guess in the last few seconds.  I really hope the season picks up soon, I’m like 10% invested haha.

Tangled The Series Holy fucking shit. Like I started watching it while doing other stuff and I started right before “Queen for a day” aired, so by the time I caught up, I could actually watch that episode and what can I say? The animation is beautiful, and you think it’d be a cute little series and suddenly there’s death and everyone’s hopeless and betraying and ??? WHAT HAPPENED. Varian and Cass are super enjoyable and I love the way the series is going! I’m super sad it’s going to end so soon! If you wanna know more of my thoughts, go here.

Teen Titans I BINGE-WATCHED THIS IN LIKE 1-2 WEEK/S. While I had to study so yas. Well I have to thank Tangled for the short hiatus I guess, because I was like “Man I need something else to watch then” and was like “I could just watch 1 or 2 episodes of Teen Titans each Saturday, I wanted to start that for a while!” and suddenly I was 10 episodes in. I love the characters, I love Raven, I love Star and I love Robstar as you probably noticed. I was surprised how much plot the show actually had (and how brutal Robin could be if he wanted) and I never really found episodes annoying except the ones that focussed extremely on other teams or superheroes, I’m just not invested enough in the DC Universe to care about these guys haha. I thought S3 and S5 were kinda weak and it also bothered my how Characters sometimes really shift in their characterstics SOMETIMES to further the plot. But it never got to the point that it annoyed me extremely.  Also it doesn’t even feel like “Stranded” happened at all in S5 cri hahahahaha. Also I don’t know where to place Trouble in Tokyo but I wasn’t too fond of the movie anyway so I guesssss it doesn’t matter. I liked it, I really did, but it felt a little too straight forward sometimes and depending on the placement to the seasons, it doesn’t fit a lot either. BUT that’s nitpicking.

So yeah, anime-wise, I don’t even know what I watched this year and what was last year. I just remember Akatsuki no Yona, which was fine I guess. Reverse-Harem for the win! Though it’s the first time I actually found the main love interest so unlikeable I ended up rooting for someone else completely even though I know who was going to be end-game. I’m honestly just sick of these man-ly, seducing men who play hard and are all like STRANGE honestly?? Like I wouldn’t want to be treated like he treats Yona. I ended up really liking her and the guy who looks like a girl (Yoon) together; I just loved how Yona influenced him and made him stand up for them on the boat and everything.

PERSONAL LIFE

 This year, especially the second half, has been quite hard on me. My family has been horrible the whole year and I finally feel like it gets to me. I’m just... tired. I’m just numb. I’m so good at pretending I’m happy --- even to myself. But it tired me out and I finally start to notice it. I’m selfish, I know that, but I couldn’t even get myself to be sad - and that’s... an excuse. I know that. I just don’t want to actually be sad. I wanna enjoy my life, I don’t wanna drag myself down, but where did get me?

Anyway, on a more friends-based level, I guess it went good? It was a good year. It was one where I found new friends, deepened some other friendships... and feel like I’ve lost another one... Maybe some of you noticed the time when I got together with a friend for a short amount of time because we both felt like it was where we wanted to go. It went good, really good - at least that’s what I thought. It was slow sure, but for the most part I realized that what I really want is someone close, not necessarily a romantic interest.

More or less out of the blue that ended per text message. And after that, I half fell apart and half felt like it was no problem. And then I really began to get socially paranoid. I was paranoid before, don’t get me wrong. But suddenly I felt like everyone (especially he) was avoiding me, like they pretended to like me. And always when I wanted to express it to him, it stopped. It was like he was playing with me, but I know it couldn’t have been that, because he couldn’t read my thoughts after all. It got better in like November/December too and I hope it stays that way, and maybe one year to do in 2018 is to actually address my feelings -- even if it may end up making everything even more awkward and maybe ruining how good we have gotten.

On the bright side, I’ve gotten closer to two other friends and have made like 3 new friends this year whom I hope to grow closer to in 2018. 

ALL IN ALL

I can’t say this has been the best year, especially the second half. There were too many self-doubts, too many crisis, too many thoughts I’d like to stop, too much school-stress and too much emotional garbage. But at the same time, there was many to balance it out. Most of that being friends, old and new ones.  

[rapmonphile]

getting to know me

i was tagged by the incredible and sweet @chim-jiminie-cricket to do this question game! tysm chim, ily!!

your last . . .

1. drink: a s’mores frappuccino from starbucks

2. phone call: i literally never talk on the phone but it was probably with my mom (tbh ......i was probably at the grocery store and called her in a panic bc i couldn’t find smth)

3. text message: i sent my sister a screenshot of that post that’s like “i wanna run away but like in a ghibli movie .....” bc we spent all day yesterday watching ghibli films

4. song you listened to: polarize by twenty one pilots

5. time you cried: um this is embarrassing™ but it was a few days ago bc i’d been having a Bad Week and the last straw was when i went to dairy queen and when they turned over my blizzard n handed it to me (why tf do they do that) it made a goddamn mess and got all over my shirt and seatbelt and i was so mad i started crying jhhgsdghhg

have you ever . . .

6. dated someone twice:  no but i did almost date the same guy like 4 times in high school (it was so needlessly complicated.... i sometimes wonder what would have happened if we’d ever gotten it together and started dating)

7. kissed someone and regretted it: u m i have actually never kissed anyone tbh

8. been cheated on: no

9. lost someone special: yes

10. been depressed: uh yeah i think i might be depressed? but it also might just be my anxiety but idk who knows man

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: no, i don’t drink and i’m legit terrified of throwing up

list 3 favorite colors

12-14. mint green, oxblood, and hunter green

in the last year, have you . . .

15. made new friends: yes!! so many, esp on here

16. fallen out of love: nope

17. laughed until you cried: yes :’)

18. found out someone was talking about you: hmm no i don’t think so?

19. met someone who changed you: lmao i literally hate this question.......,, i mean yeah i guess? i mean nothing dramatic but i think everyone you meet changes you a little

20. found out who your friends are: ohhhh yes

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: no, ew

random questions

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: most of them, the ones i don’t know are friends of friends or we went to the same high school (i never use fb though so it rly doesn’t matter to me)

23. do you have any pets: yeessss i have a pit bull and she’s the single love of my life

24. do you want to change your name: no i don’t think so, mags is just a nickname but my real name is p unique and even tho i wish people could spell/pronounce it on the first try, at least idk anyone else with my name

25. what did you do for your last birthday: one of my best friends has a bday like 5 days before mine, so we just combined our birthday celebrations and us and a couple more friends went to steak n shake and saw beauty and the beast together

26. what time did you wake up: 9:20 am

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: watching the gong show, lmao

28. name something you can’t wait for: i’m going to a music festival in september and i’m soooOOo excited!! also i can’t wait to go to the beach with my family

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: i am looking at her rn

30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i wasn’t so afraid to do new things and i wish i didn’t have so much anxiety about things that literally everyone has to go through (i.e. change)

31. what are you listening to right now: my mom running around putting things into boxes (we’re moving soon)

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: u mean 707′s neighborhood friend tom? ... yes i actually have met someone named tom

33. something that is getting on your nerves: it’s too hot in this room and i am dying

34. most visited website: tumblr or youtube

35-37. ok so i’ve answered these same questions like probably 10 times over the years and these 3 q’s have literally always been missing. whats the deal

38. hair color: rn it’s brown with blonde highlights

39. long or short hair: it’s getting longer

40. do you have a crush on someone: no

41. what do you like about yourself: hfgdhs idk ,,, i think i’m a fun person and i won’t judge people for liking “weird” things bc i have a lot of ... eclectic interests and i hate how it feels to be teased for that

42. piercings: i just have one in each ear.... i want a cartilage piercing but i’m scared of pain and also it bugs me that you can’t remove it for like 6 months

43. blood type: that’s a good question, i should know that but i don’t

44. nickname: mags, except ppl in real life don’t actually call me that lmao

45. relationship status: single and tbh i’m comfortable with it, i tried dating recently and tbh it is so fucking exhausting

46. zodiac: i am literally a textbook aries

47. pronouns: she/her

48. favorite tv show: the office, bbc sherlock, gravity falls, or anything on the food network/hgtv

49. tattoos: none, i’m scared of pain and commitment

50. right or left handed: right

51. surgery: never had one, thank god

52. piercing: um,,,.,, repeat question

53. favorite sport: tbh i hate sports but i am completely obsessed with the olympics, particularly swimming, diving, figure skating, and women’s gymnastics (seriously.... idk if any of you followed my main during the olympics last year but it was p much all i blogged about)

55. favorite vacation: disney world (i go every year and i went this january but i’m missing it so bad rn)

56. favorite pair of trainers: i have a pair of light gray and light blue nikes that i looooove but i’ve had them for like 3 years and they’re getting worn out

57. eating: nothing, but i did have an eggo waffle this morning

58. drinking: ice water

59. i’m about to: finish packing up my bedroom :(

61. waiting for: my mom to take a shower so we can go grab lunch (there’s literally no food in our house since we’re abt to move)

62. want: the ac to kick on so i can stop dying (it’s already so hot today)

63. get married: hhdgsd idk, ,,, probably (i always say how much i hate romantic shit but tbh i can’t wait to find someone who makes me rethink all the cynical stuff i’ve ever said about love)

64. career: don’t even ask i’m gonna have an anxiety attack (i’m in college and haven’t declared a major yet can u tell)

which is better

65. hugs or kisses: hugs, kissing grosses me out a bit tbh

66. lips or eyes: both (but if i had to pick i’d say eyes i think)

67. shorter or taller: don’t rly care but i guess i’d pick taller

68. older or younger: older

70. nice arms or nice stomach: both (or either)

71. sensitive or loud: these aren’t mutually exclusive but i’d say sensitive

72. hook up or relationship: relationship

73. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

have you ever . . .

74. kissed a stranger: no

75. drank hard liquor: no

76. lost glasses/contact lenses: no, my glasses are 100% always on my face

77. turned someone down: yes

78. sex on the first date: mm no

79. broken someone’s heart: yes :/

80. had your heart broken: yes ://

81. been arrested: lmao NO

82. cried when someone died: yes

83. fallen for a friend: yes lmao

do you believe in . . .

84. yourself: i try to !!!!!!

85. miracles: yes

86. love at first sight: no dude... that’s honestly such a dumb notion in my eyes

87. santa claus: um tbh i wish?? like every time i watch rise of the guardians i’m like “that is 1000% what santa would look like” and then i wish he was real

88. kiss on the first date: i wouldn’t want to, just bc i’ve never kissed anyone and i want to get to really know someone first bc i’m so nervous when it comes to things like that

89. angels: no, like i believe that loved ones who’ve passed on can watch over you but i think that’s different from angels

other

90. best friend’s name:  eva and kendall

91. eye color: hazel

92. favorite movie: i have millions....,,,,, the secret world of arrietty, monsters university, tangled, big hero 6, how to train your dragon, power rangers, ghostbusters (2016), the incredibles, teenage mutant ninja turtles 2, ratatouille, jersey boys, zootopia .... i’m forgetting a million but yeah. i love animated films, esp. disney/pixar

tagging

i’m literally not tagging 20 people but if i didn’t tag u and you wanna do this, pls pls go ahead and tag me in it!! also i’m soooo sry if i tag you and you’ve already done it/been tagged. anyway i tag: @bbysucculents, @yxonkook, @yoobin-nie, @missmarymoo, @escapaertist, and literally anyone else who wants to do this!! tag me in your answers <3

[lefilmdujour]

Another 500th movie celebration

My Tumblr just reached the 1000 movies mark, so I figured it’s time I write something about my last 2 and a half years of movie viewings and recommend 50 more movies out of the ones I’ve seen since the last 500th movie celebration.

Times have been strange in the last couple of years, and my movie habits have reflected it. There have been times when watching films was all I would do, but there have also been moments of complete disconnection from the medium. I went from watching several movies every day to spending months avoiding anything to do with sitting through a movie. 

Part of it had to do with the space I share with my demons, but mostly there has been a change of pace. My laptop died, it took me months to get another one only to also die on me. On the other hand, an enormous chunk of my viewings have been in cinemas or squats, which is a very positive change but led me to watch more recent films in detriment of classics or ancient underappreciated gems. I also got my first TV in over a decade this month, and my very first Netflix account last week, so I may be exploring streaming a bit more, although so far I am not finding the experience  at all satisfying. All pointless excuses since I went through 500+ movies in a little over two years, which is not bad at all.

It was hard to pick only 50 movies this time, and the list would have probably looked a little different if I did it tomorrow. Regardless, here are 50 movies I recommend, and why. Random order, all deserving of love and attention.

Ghost World (Terry Zwigoff) - This movie is unfairly  ignored in the best comic book adaptation lists out there on the internet. The opening scene is memorable, the soundtrack is a lesson in early Blues, and the characters are quirky and well written.

Hate (Mathieu Kassovitz) - An absolute classic about the class system in France and its tendency to end up in riots. Beautiful shot and highly quotable. Saw it a few times, the last of them with a live score from Asian Dub Foundation. One of the greats.

Audition (Takashi Miike) - Whenever I’m asked about my favorite horror movie, I tend to fall back on this one. Audition is very slow, starting out soft but with an underlying tension that builds until the absolutely gut-wrenching finale that makes us question our own sanity. Brilliant subversion of the “hear, don’t see” rule, just the though of some of the sounds used in the most graphic scenes still send shivers down my spine.

Kedi (Ceyda Torun) - A Turkish documentary about street cats, what’s there not to like?

Sympathy for Lady Vengeance (Park Chan-wook) - The third in the loosely-connected Vengeance trilogy by Park Chan-wook, and my favorite of the bunch, especially the Fade to Black and White edition, in which the movie very gradually loses color as the violence grows. A visual masterpiece.

Paterson (Jim Jarmusch) - The poetry of routine. Adam Driver is one hell of an actor.

Love Me If You Dare (Yann Samuell) - Two people that obviously love each other but are not mature enough to follow it through. Frustrating. Beautiful. Made me sob.

The Exterminating Angel (Luis Buñuel) - I am realizing that a good part of this list deals with frustration. A group of people finds themselves unable to leave a party for no apparent reason. Buñuel is a genious in surrealism, I have yet to watch most of his Mexican period.

The Mutants (Teresa Villaverde) - Kids on the run from themselves. Strong visuals, very moving interactions at times. A hard but very rewarding watch. Teresa Villaverde’s entire filmography also gets a seal of approval.

Bad Education (Pedro Almodóvar) - A movie about sexuality and problematic relationships, taken to unbelievable extremes.

The Death of Mr. Lazarescu (Cristi Puiu) - The adventures of Mr. Lazarescu as he struggles to find help for the sudden pain he feels and ends up being passed on from hospital to hospital. Felt very real. Sold as a comedy, but I found it terrifying. 

The Killing of a Sacred Deer (Yorgos Lanthimos) - A classic greek tragedy brought to the modern age. My favorite Lanthimos film, ranking slightly below Dogtooth. The deadpan acting and the unnerving sound serves as wonderful misdirection.

It’s Such a Beautiful Day (Don Hertzfeldt) - Three shorts stitched together to create a confusing, philosophical, absurd, funny and deep masterpiece. The animation skills of Don Hertzfeldt needs more recognition.

Amores Perros (Alejandro González Iñárritu) - A movie so good it didn’t even had an English name. Three tales of love, violence and loss, all linked by a dog.

Endless Poetry (Alejandro Jodorowsky) - Jodorowsky’s romanticized auto-biography, played by his own sons.Bohemian and poetic.

The Passion of Joan of Arc (Carl Theodor Dreyer) - Show this movie to someone who refuses to watch silent movies. The acting is so impactful and emotional, and the use of close ups was highly unusual for the time. A 90-plus years old masterpiece.

Everything is Illuminated (Liev Schreiber) - Sunflowers.

Dunkirk (Christopher Nolan) - I have a soft spot for war movies, as to remind myself how brutal people can be to their fellow man and how meaningless the concept of nations truly is. This movie in particular achieves greatness due to its usage of sound, the best I’ve heard in recent memory.

Vagabond (Agnès Varda) - Be careful of what you wish for yourself, you may end up frozen and miserable in a ditch (spoilers for literally the first few seconds of the film).

Stroszek (Werner Herzog) - I know Herzog mostly through his documentaries. His voice brings me the feeling of a deranged grandpa sharing stories of a reality tainted by dementia. I have yet to explore his fiction work in-depth, and this has been my starting point. Stroszek is bleak and desperate but humor still shines through it at times. Ian Curtis allegedly hung himself after watching it. Not sure if this story is real, but it once more feeds into the Herzog myth.

HyperNormalization (Adam Curtis) - Put together through found footage and newscasts, HyperNormalization is an unforgiving study on how we got to where we currently are. Fake becomes real. Trust is an abandoned concept. “They've undermined our confidence in the news that we are reading/And they make us fight each other with our faces buried deep inside our phones”, as AJJ sings in Normalization Blues. Which you should also check out.

Chicken with Plums (Marjane Satrapi & Vincent Paronnaud) - A man decides to die, so he goes to bed and waits. An apparent simple plot that uncovers a world of beauty and poetry, as life passes slowly through the man’s eyes.

The Florida Project (Sam Baker) - William Dafoe was born to play the role of a motel manager. He is so natural in his role that I think he would actually be great in that job. The rest of the movie is great too, but his performance is the highlight for me.

Lucky (John Carroll Lynch) - Speaking of great performances, Lucky is Harry Dean Stanton’s final movie and a great send off. IMDB describes it best: “The spiritual journey of a ninety-year-old atheist.“

Paris, Texas (Wim Wenders) - More Harry Dean Stanton. The desert plays a more than decorative role in this wonderful movie, representing the emptiness that comes from estrangement. A story about reunion and all that can come from it.

On Chesil Beach (Dominic Cooke) - I sometimes cry in movies, but this one shook me to the core. A play on expectations and reactions and their devastating impact on relationships. We all fuck up sometimes. Try not to fuck up like these characters did, not on that level, you will never be able to make up for it.

The Royal Tenenbaums (Wes Anderson) - An absolute classic. A movie about the concept of family.

No Country for Old Men (Coen Brothers) - Murder mysteries and bad haircuts.

Dawson City: Frozen Time (Bill Morrison) - I highly recommend this documentary for anyone who professes their love for cinema. The story of how hundreds of lost silent movies were preserved though sheer luck and human stupidity. Seeing these damaged frames coming back to life is truly magical.

Mandy (Panos Cosmatos) - Some films turn into cult experiences through the years, some selected few are already born that way. Mandy is a psychedelic freak-out and Nicholas Cage fits like a glove in its weirdness. If you didn’t catch it while in cinemas, you’re already missing out on the full experience. Mandy is filled with film grain, which adds to the hallucinogenic experience with its continuous movement, a feature that does not translate when transferred to a digital medium. 

City of God (Fernando Meirelles & Kátia Lund) - A masterpiece of Brazilian cinema, very meaningful and relatable if you grew up in a similar environment. One of the most quotable films in my memory, something that gets lost in translation if you don’t speak Portuguese. My Tumblr is mostly pictures because I “só sei lê só as figura”.

Loro (Paolo Sorrentino) - On the topic of languages, I watched this Italian movie with Dutch subtitles, by mistake. It is actually an interesting exercise, watching something without fully grasping every word and letting your mind patch the pieces together to make a coherent narrative. Impressive cinematography, amazing script. I learned a lot about corruption, not everyone has a price. I also learned I can speak Italian now.

Roma (Alfonso Cuarón) - Beautiful shot, every frame of it can be turned into a picture. Roma is about the meaning of family, seen from the eyes of someone who will never be part of it. A lot of people considered this movie boring and pointless. These people probably have maids at home.

Bad Times at the El Royale (Drew Goddard) - Engaging heist movie, well developed characters, amazing soundtrack.

Melancholia (Lars von Trier) - The World is coming to an end and the date and time has been announced. How would you react to these news? Would it matter?

Climax (Gaspar Noé) - A very scary experience, equal parts trippy and evil like all Gaspar Noé’s movies. A dark ballet that that shocks and confuses the senses. Dante’s Inferno.

Fish Tank (Andrea Arnold) - A strong story about ambitions, neglect and survival. Katie Jarvis is very realistic in her performance, a little too much judging by her history after the movie.

A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night (Ana Lily Amirpour) - An Iranian feminist movie about vampirism and records. Watched it with live score from The Black Heart Rebellion for extra cool points.

Another Day of Life (Raul de la Fuente & Damian Nenow) - Based on Ryszard Kapuściński‘s autobiography, Another Day of Life consists of rotoscopic animation sprinkled with interviews. A look at the Cold War in the African continent, and an important watch for everyone, especially Portuguese and Angolan nationals.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (Quentin Tarantino) - Rich in dialogues and paced very slowly until the insane climax, this is probably the best Tarantino film after Pulp Fiction. Filled to the brim with cinematic references, it’s a delight to all film nerds. Looking forward for an Bud Spencer/Terrence Hill film adaption with Leonardo Dicaprio and Brad Pitt after this.

The Beach Bum (Harmony Korine) - Google’s top voted tags: Boring. Mindless. Cringe-Worthy. Forgettable. Slow. Illogical. Looks like this movie didn’t resonate well with the audiences, but then again Harmony Korine’s stuff is not for the masses. I personally think this is one of his best movies, a true exercise on nihilism. The main character is lovable and detestable in equal parts, and every action is pointless. Such is life, the only meaning it has is attributed by yourself.

The Mirror (Andrei Tarkovsky) - A man reflects on his life. Memories tend to get fuzzy, conflicting and confusing. More like a poem than a narrative. A dreamy masterpiece.

The Spirit of the Beehive (Víctor Erice) - The most charming child of this list, she couldn’t memorize the names of the characters she interacted with so they were changed to the names of the actual actors. The innocence of childhood in dark times.

A Pigeon Sat on a Branch Reflecting on Existence (Roy Andersson) - A series of absurd vignettes connected by a pair of novelty items salesmen and their struggle to bring a smile to a grey World. Slow, but humorous and delightful. An unconventional and memorable ride.

Man Bites Dog (Rémy Belvaux, André Bonzel & Benoît Poelvoorde) - Fake documentary about a serial killer. Heavy, gruesome and hard to watch, despite the false sense of humor in some scenes.A glimpse at the darkness of human nature.

Tangerine (Sean Baker) - Shot with cell phones. A story about love, gender and friendship. Funny, sad, touching.

The Guilty (Gustav Möller) - Focused on a shift of an emergency dispatcher, the camera focuses only on his face and phone interactions with the callers.A very effective thriller, its setting leads us to create our own narratives just to subvert them at the most unexpected times.

Cold War (Paweł Pawlikowski) - Loosely inspired in Pawlikowski’s parents, Cold War is a beautiful love story set against impossible odds. Powerful and heartbreaking. 

Parasite (Bong Joon-ho) - Poor family scams rich family. Rich family takes advantage of poor family. Everybody feeds off of everyone. Drama/Comedy/Thriller/Horror/Romance about control, delivered in a masterclass on cinematic rhythm. Best film of its year for me.

The Straight Story (David Lynch) - More than the fact that this movie is radically different than the remaining Lynch work, The Straight Story is a wonderful exercise in pacing and storytelling. Mr. Straight’s stories allow us to fill in the blanks with our imagination, and their impact in him is also felt in us. An underappreciated gem in its apparent simplicity.

Thank you very much for reading.