#the agents...

[lemonlurkrr]

oh man youd love splattoon then

MAN.

[wowwforever]

They’ll never do a Hitman level set in a Furry Convention because gamers would absolutely ruin it but imagine. like the target isn’t a furry he just owns a hotel that happens to have one every year but you can disguise yourself in a fursuit and some guy will ask you “what species is your sona” and 47 would be like “a wolf. i always felt a connection with…hunters.” and then diana would be like “let’s see if you can sniff out some information, furrty-seven” and then he comes to my house and kills me for writing this

[maykitz]

if you can stomach it i would recommend watching the body cam footage of the sonya massey killing, i'll try to describe it but it's hardly possible. you can't truly understand the type of extreme, completely volatile aggression that happens with cops if you haven't seen it, and it's captured here very harrowingly.

several officers are in her house, calmly talking with her about her id and vehicle papers for some time. it's routine administrative stuff, no acute danger or stress whatsoever. one of them tells her to take her pot off the stove, remarking that they don't need a fire in the house now, she walks over into the kitchen and complies. he suddenly backs off towards the front door despite already being several feet away. she asks him where he's going, he says "away from your hot, steaming water." she repeats "my hot, steamin' water?" in an amused tone. then adds "i rebuke you in the name of jesus," in a similar tone while pouring the water down the sink. the atmosphere is completely calm, you might even say amiable.

she's at this point still separated from the cops by her kitchen aisle and several feet of additional distance. the cop prompts her to repeat what she said, she repeats her reply about rebuking him in the name of jesus [edit: i didn't phrase this right in the original post; this phrase is not really a joke but rather used similarly to 'perish the thought'- ie rebuking his implication that she would harm them]. she doesn't even realise there's been a complete 180 in his head. he goes "you better fucking not, i will shoot you in your fucking face," she's stunned by the sudden abusive language for half a second, immediately he draws his gun directly at her head, she gets out a panicked "sorry!" and ducks behind the aisle, he rounds the corner into the kitchen specifically to advance right next to her, immediately fires 3 shots at her head from above at minimal distance. she's dead where she stood, or cowered rather, by the sink in her nightgown.

after a few seconds you hear the click of him turning on his body cam, saying "she came at me with a pot of boiling water." for the recording. he also nonchalantly tells his partner there's no need to get a med kit because it was a headshot. it's one of the most clear cut cases ever and it's fully recorded only because his partner did already have the body cam on throughout.

[backgroundagent3]

[artistic-cocoon]

Saw someone on twt say they wanted to see Percy drawn like Yusuf Dikec and I couldn't help myself

[thefriendlyneighborhoodace]

sometimes i think about how funny it would be if bruce had a slight english accent as a result of alfred being the only adult in his life for most of his formative years. that or he just says british slang instead of english.

this either drives his children insane, or they think it’s the most hilarious thing ever.

__________________________

Bruce: Can you pass the chips?

Dick: Sure, B. *passes over the potato chips*

Bruce: No, the chips.

Dick: ???? … yeah? here?

Bruce: NO! THE CHIPS! *gesturing wildly for the french fries*

Damian: Father, are you having a stroke?

———

Batman: Alright, this mission is very important. It is imperative that everything goes to schedule. (shh-edule)

*red robin and red hood snicker*

Batman: *glare* As I was saying, it all must go to shh-edule…

RR & RH : *uproariously laughter *

Batman: *harsher glare* Is something funny?

RR: Oh nothing, B, don’t worry.

RH: Absolutely nothing wrong, “left-tenant”

RR & RH: *dying of laughter *

———

Bruce: *reaching the end of a long rant about responsibility and making sure you are keeping yourself and others safe* And what do you have to say for yourself??

Duke: … You sound like Alfred…

Bruce: *horrified look over coming him* … what

Cass: *furious nodding*

*Some time later, after B has been fished out of Gotham Harbor, which he jumped into after declaring that he “couldn’t turn into his father”*

Alfred: *reaching the end of a long rant about responsibility and making sure you are keeping yourself and others safe* And what do you have to say for yourself??

Bruce: *white as a sheet* … Sorry Alfie…

*Steph is heard furiously cackling in the background*

_______________________

anyways i just thought this was fun

[magulon]

[gyonikubun]

small 4&8 comic thing

[cyan0corax]

Riz gets sworn in to The Council of Chosen :-)

[taffybuns]

🦑💥🐙

[simplyjustagirlsblog]

i love laura palmer

[loubetcha]

[calypsolemon]

don't they know?

. you can't cage a thunderstorm.

[peanutseagle]

"Just relax and let go"

[demilypyro]

Captain 3 is the funniest Splatoon character actually

Be some kid on the street

You're 14

Get pressured into joining the army by an old man??

Start going by Agent 3. Which is not a name

Never speak a word (you're canonically too shy)

You just start blasting??

Save the world and liberate an entire race of people somehow???

The entire rest of the series can only happen because you did this

Almost kill the protagonist of Octo Expansion (she is in love with you now)

Turn 16

Become a DJ as a hobby??

Your DJ name is DJ Sango. Sango is just "number 3" in Japanese. Still not a real name

Start taking yourself really seriously

Start wearing a cape

Get knocked unconscious multiple times

Get mind controlled???

It's fine you got better

Turn 21. The old man quits and puts you in charge of the army???

You inherit his hobo outfit. Why are you actually wearing it

Start going by Captain (still not a name)

Still never speak (a girl speaks for you) (she's a famous singer and older than you, why are you making her do this)

Do one (1) cool thing and just sit on your ass the whole rest of the game

Say booyah once