#the afterlife in 911 is wild

[between-two-fandoms]

Evan Buckley 🤝 TK Strand: having weird comatose dreams after they almost die from natural disasters.

[antimony-medusa]

MCYT on Ao3 — November '23

The state of MCYT on Ao3, just for fun. Yes I do this every month, I like numbers. 

The Cube SMP (8 works)

Slamacow Minecraft Animations (Web Series) (9 works)

Content SMP (20 works)

iDots SMP (23 works)

30 Day SMP | Free Trial SMP (27 works)

Legacy SMP (28 works)

Cogchamp SMP (29 works)

Epic SMP (31 works)

Dominion SMP (33 works)

Art of Survival SMP (36 works)

Shady Oaks SMP (47 works)

X Life SMP (49 works)

100 Hours Hardcore SMP (54 works)

IvoryCello's Prison Escapes (Web Series) (54 works)

Bear SMP (59 works)

My Inner Demons - Aphmau (Web Series) (61 works)

SadSMP (68 works)

Kaboodle SMP (71 works)

Mer SMP (79 works)

Area Unknown SMP (80 works)

Tortillaland SMP (115 works)

House Builder Gang SMP | HBG SMP (133 works)

New Life SMP (157 works)

Slimecicle Cinematic Universe (Web Series) (161 works)

Pirates SMP (172 works)

WitchCraft SMP (176 works)

Rats SMP (225 works)

SMPEarth (284 works)

SMPLive (286 works)

Outsiders SMP (361 works)

Mianite (Web Series) (371 works)

Afterlife SMP (387 works)

MyStreet - Aphmau (Web Series) (495 works)

MindCrack RPF (501 works)

Evolution SMP (636 works)

Minecraft: Story Mode (Video Game) (798 works)

Karmaland SMP (815 works)

Minecraft Diaries - Aphmau (Web Series) (894 works)

Fable SMP (911 works)

Lifesteal SMP (1,406 works)

Origins SMP (1,534 works)

The Yogscast (3,211 works)

QSMP | Quackity SMP (5,616 works)

Empires SMP (6,113 works)

3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series (8,877 works)

Hermitcraft SMP (18,735 works)

Dream SMP (83,366 works)

Minecraft (Video Game) (109,347 works)

Video Blogging RPF (271,710 works)

Some notes:

One new tag this month! Content SMP brings our MCYT tags up to 44.

Fics are still primarily in english, but we have three exceptions with significant spanish fics. Karmaland (722 of 815, from 711 spanish fics last month), Tortillaland (110 of 115, from 111 spanish fics last month), and QSMP (581 of 5,616, from 527 spanish fics last month). QSMP also shows 322 fics in brazilian portugese, from 244 last month, and 30 in french, from 26 last month.

In the small and micro fandoms, Pirates cooled down from it's 45 fics last month, but still posted 22 fics, clearly the standout.

In the midsize fandoms, Fable SMP had the largest increase at 49 fics, and they steadily increase towards that 1000-fic mark that is my knockover into large fandom. Evolution SMP also had a strong month, with 42 fics.

For the large fandoms, Empires saw an increase of 240 fics, which somehow is exactly the same as last month, and also beat the previous month's 154, but still doesn't beat August's 244. 3rd Life saw an increase of 552, beating the previous month's 463 (which had been the largest amount in four months), which is understandable as there is a new life series airing. Hermitcraft went up by 651, not beating last month's 714, but comfortably beating the previous three month's, where the highest amount had been 569. DSMP continues to be the fandom no one can beat for sheer volume, as it went up by 1,269, which contines the back and forth DSMP has been experiencing, as that's less than October's 1,445, but more than September's 1,171, but less than August's 1,459. QSMP is also experiencing the "event airing right now" spike I would surmise, as they posted a kind of wild 913 fics, which is more than the previous three months (861, 725, 861).

EDIT: Added the recently canonized Minecraft Story Mode, Minecraft Diaries, MyStreet, and My Inner Demons.

More details under the cut

The Cube SMP (8 works, 8 last month, 0-fic increase)

Slamacow Minecraft Animations (Web Series) (9 works, 9 last month, 0-fic increase)

Content SMP (20 works, tag is new since last month)

iDots SMP (23 works, 24 last month, 1-fic decrease)

30 Day SMP | Free Trial SMP (27 works, 27 last month, 0-fic increase)

Legacy SMP (28 works, 28 last month, 0-fic increase)

Cogchamp SMP (29 works, 29 last month, 0-fic increase)

Epic SMP (31 works, 31 last month, 0-fic increase)

Dominion SMP (33 works, 32- last month, 1-fic increase)

Art of Survival SMP (36 works, 32 last month, 4-fic increase)

Shady Oaks SMP (47 works, 46 last month, 1-fic increase)

X Life SMP (49 works, 48 last month, 1-fic increase)

100 Hours Hardcore SMP (54 works, 54 last month, 0-fic increase)

IvoryCello's Prison Escapes (Web Series) (54 works, 55 last month, 1-fic decrease)

Bear SMP (59 works, 59 last month, 0-fic increase)

My Inner Demons - Aphmau (Web Series) (61 works, not tracked last month)

SadSMP (68 works, 68 last month, 0-fic increase)

Kaboodle SMP (71 works, 66 las month, 5-fic increase)

Mer SMP (79 works, 79 last month, 0-fic increase)

Area Unknown SMP (80 works, 79 last month, 1-fic increase)

Tortillaland SMP (115 works, 116 last month, 1-fic decrease)

House Builder Gang SMP | HBG SMP (133 works, 133 last month, 0-fic increase)

New Life SMP (157 works, 141 last month, 16-fic increase)

Slimecicle Cinematic Universe (Web Series) (161 works, 149 last month, 12-fic increase)

Pirates SMP (172 works, 150 last month, 22-fic increase)

WitchCraft SMP (176 works, 169 last month, 7-fic increase)

Rats SMP (225 works, 210 last month, 15-fic increase)

SMPEarth (284 works, 278 last month, 6-fic increase)

SMPLive (286 works, 288 last month, 2-fic decrease)

Outsiders SMP (361 works, 345 last month, 16-fic increase)

Mianite (Web Series) (371 works, 366 last month, 5-fic increase)

Afterlife SMP (387 works, 386 last month, 1-fic increase)

MyStreet - Aphmau (Web Series) (495 works. not tracked last month)

MindCrack RPF (501 works, 499 last month, 2-fic increase)

Evolution SMP (636 works, 594 last month, 42-fic increase)

Minecraft: Story Mode (Video Game) (798 works, was not tracked last month)

Karmaland SMP (815 works, 799 last month, 16-fic increase)

Minecraft Diaries - Aphmau (Web Series) (894 works, not tracked last month)

Fable SMP (911 works, 862 last month, 49-fic increase)

Lifesteal SMP (1,406 works, 1,308 last month, 98-fic increase)

Origins SMP (1,534 works, 1,511 last month, 23-fic increase)

The Yogscast (3,211 works, 3,197 last month, 14-fic increase)

QSMP | Quackity SMP (5,616 works, 4,703 last month, 913-fic increase)

Empires SMP (6,113 works, 5,873 last month, 240-fic increase)

3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series (8,877 works, 8,325 last month, 552-fic increase)

Hermitcraft SMP (18,735 works, 18,084 last month, 651-fic increase)

Dream SMP (83,366 works, 82,097 last month, 1269-fic increase)

Minecraft (Video Game) (109,347 works, 109,017 last month, 330-fic increase)

Video Blogging RPF (271,710 works, 267,675 last month, 4035-fic increase)

[recurring-polynya]

For the AU request, whichever one(s) you prefer (for RenRuki of course):

the X-Men universe

the Mafia/criminal underworld

the circus

as FBI agents (the X-Files world perhaps)

So, I got this ask, and I immediately wanted to go for X-Files, because I was hugely into X-Files when I was a tween/teen, and I think that my actual first published work of fanfic on the internet might actually be X-Files. (I didn’t even post it myself, I was like 12 and I didn’t have the internet at home, but a friend of mine posted it on Usenet for me, I have no idea whatever became of it). Anyway, I was going back and forth in my head who I wanted to be Mulder and who I wanted to be Scully, and then I got this ask:

@ulkoilla​ said:

I though the 10 would be full in about 1 microsecond so I didn’t even try :D This is maybe not AU enough for the purpose but I'd love to see your take on Bleach world where the shinigami work among humans as if they were in gigai -> they'll have to balance the supernatural, perhaps violent elements of their life with the modern day laws and such (like in Supernatural). Renji and Rukia have ofc gotten in trouble with the non-supernatural law (meet: Detective!Aizen?) and are on the run…

It suddenly occurred to me, What If: X-Files World, but Renruki are the cryptids. And it suddenly popped into my head exactly who I wanted to be Mulder. Anyway, I am sorry missrambler, if I messed it all up, I hope you like it anyway.

Also, I somehow thought that I would save myself some trouble by combining two prompts, but then it ended up… really long. (Forty! Eight! Hundred! Words! Go to Talks-Too-Much-Jail, Polynya!!)

PS: This takes place in D.C. because it’s X-Files and also because I am familiar with D.C. and I never get to write about places I know about. A half-smoke is a local delicacy that’s halfway between a hot dog and an Italian sausage. They are delicious.

Read on ao3 or ff.net

👻     👻     👻

Ichigo Kurosaki had known that an office with a view of the Smithsonian might be too much to ask, but he had not expected to take have to take two separate elevators down to sub-basement C, and walk past a storage room, two broom closets and a weird old vending machine full of brands of snacks he swore he hadn’t seen since he was a child.

Maybe Agent Inoue has a huge lab, he told himself. Maybe it needs to be 50 meters below ground because she collides large hadrons down here or so that her work can’t be picked up by spy satellites.

He had to turn sideways to get past a rack of wire shelves full of banker’s boxes, but there, on the other side was a door sporting a handwritten cardboard nameplate reading “Special Agent Orihime Inoue.”

“Come in!” a voice called inside, just as he raised his hand to knock on the door.

Ichigo blinked twice, and then went in.

The office was cluttered, mostly with more cardboard boxes, but books were also stacked precariously on top of boxes on top of books. The walls were plastered with maps and graphs and photographs of hazy blurs in front of staircases. There was a large poster showing a UFO, with the words “I WANT TO BELIEVE” in block caps below it.

A woman with long chestnut hair twisted up into a bun and held in place with three pencils was hunched over a metal box full of diodes and transistors and other things you would buy at Radio Shack. Or rather, that other people would buy at a Radio Shack. Ichigo had never set foot in a Radio Shack in his life.

“Er, good morning,” Ichigo said, as the woman looked up and blinked at him owlishly. “Agent Inoue? I’m Ichigo Kurosaki. I’ve been assigned to work with you.”

“To spy on me, you mean,” Agent Inoue corrected, cheerfully shaking his hand with great vigor.

Ichigo bristled. Yes, he had been directed to ‘provide additional documentation on Agent Inoue’s activities,’ but that hardly counted as spying. She was known to be somewhat scatterbrained, and having an organized person around would probably be a great benefit to her. “If you have any doubts about my qualifications or motivations--”

“Oh, don’t take it personally!” Inoue replied, slotting a lid onto her electronics project, and attacking it vigorously with a jeweler’s screwdriver. “Just because you’re a spy doesn’t mean you aren’t a nice person. Also, I read your file, you have a very interesting background! Degree in literature with a focus on folk legends. Teaching at the academy for the last few years while working on your book.” She took a momentary break from her screwing to fix him with her big, soft brown eyes. “Tell me, Agent Kurosaki, what do you think happens after you die?”

Ichigo froze. “I would be buried? Maybe there would be a funeral first?”

Inoue started laughing so hard that Ichigo was sure he caught a tiny, adorable snort. “Sorry, sorry! I wasn’t clear!” She sniffed, and wiped a tear from her eye. “Do you believe in continued existence after the death of the body? An afterlife, religion-based or otherwise? The existence of ectoplasm, cold spots, spirit photographs, EVP?”

“Are you talking about… ghosts?” Ichigo asked hesitantly.

“Yes!” Orihime replied with a nod. “Ghosts.”

“We-elll…” Ichigo drew out. “I believe that people believe they observe certain phenomena, as part of the cycle of grief and--”

“Just say ‘no’ if you don’t,” Inoue interrupted him.

“Er, no. I don’t.”

“That’s okay. Are you good at carrying heavy things?”

“Am I... I guess?”

“Perfect!” She shoved the box into his arms, and Ichigo’s knees almost buckled under the weight. “Let’s walk and talk, I want to go get a reading over near Franklin Square before 9 am. We’re gonna pass a really good half-smoke cart on the way, do you like half-smokes?”

  👻     👻     👻

“Take a look at this,” Inoue said, her cheek half stuffed with sausage, jabbing a finger at the LED read-out of her mysterious box.

It was rather hard for Ichigo to see, because he was holding the box and the readout was on the other side, but he did his best to crane his neck around. “What am I looking at? The squiggles? I’m sorry, it looks like nothing to me.”

“Exactly right!” Inoue announced, waving her half smoke in the air. “Not a sniff of spiritual residue!”

Ichigo pressed his lips together. “Um… is that good?”

“It is interesting,” Inoue corrected. “Five days ago, a sixty-four year old woman had a heart attack while sitting in that bus shelter.” On every day since, I have been able to record EMF fluctuations, and on Sunday, I was able to get a voice recording that sounded like a woman reciting a grocery list. But this morning, nothing! Nada!”

“Well, uh, ghosts gotta move on eventually, right? Otherwise, just about everywhere would be haunted, right?” It’s not that Ichigo had suddenly started believing ghosts or anything, but there was something about Agent Inoue that just made you want to go along with her and see where all this panned out.

Inoue shot him a finger gun. “Or, they get moved along.” She shoved a folded paper map at him. “You can put that thing down.”

Ichigo eased the Spirit Detect-O 9000, or whatever it was called, to the grass and accepted her map. It was a street map of DC, meant for tourists, emphasizing all the local transit routes and popular attractions. There was also a great loop marked on it in orange highlighter, zig-zagging back and forth through the city. There was a little ‘x’ marked on Franklin Park, with “Tuesday, early morning” written in a bubbly hand.

“What is this?” Ichigo frowned. It didn’t seem to match up with any of the metro or bus lines. It didn’t even match with the sidewalks, it appeared to cut straight through large buildings like the convention center.

“As far as I can tell,” Inoue said, her brown eyes very solemn, “that is the patrol route of our local grim reaper.”

  👻     👻     👻

“So I actually got interested in grim reapers,” Inoue explained, once they were back in the office, “while I was investigating violent ghost phenomena.” She was eating a bag of corn chips that she had gotten from that ancient vending machine by punching it and then shoving her own arm up the chute. (She’d gotten Ichigo a bag, too, but he was too afraid to eat them.)

Ichigo was sitting at a cluttered table that Inoue had told him “could be his desk.” Half of it was taken up by a large aquarium full of rocks and a water bowl, but no life forms that Ichigo could detect. The other half was covered with back issues of “Ghost Hunter Technology” magazine. “You mean like poltergeists?” he asked.

“Not exactly. Poltergeists are noisy, but they aren’t usually able to kill their targets.”

“Kill? Ghosts can’t kill people, aside from, like scaring them to death,” Ichigo scoffed. “I mean, folklorically speaking. As we established earlier, I am not a ghost-believer.”

Inoue tipped her head to the side. “They do, actually, it just tends to get blamed on something else.”

“By ghost-non-believers.”

“By everyone, really, and that’s what’s so strange.” Inoue pulled a fat binder from a stack of seemingly identical ones, and tossed it open in front of Ichigo. “Edison, New Jersey, 2014. An elderly woman dies ‘of a broken heart’ a week after her husband dies of cancer. Coincidentally, a telephone pole falls on her house the same night and rips a hole in her house.” She turned a page. “Norfolk, Virginia, 2017. A young woman dies in what the police rule as a suicide, despite the fact that she made a 911 call 48 hours previous, expressing fear of her ex-boyfriend. Three days later, the boyfriend is dead of mysterious causes. Coincidentally, his apartment complex suffered significant damages from ‘a wild cougar.’”

Ichigo squinted at the pictures. The walls of the building were scored with what did appear to be scratch marks. “Hell of a cougar.”

“Exactly! And I’ve got dozens of these historic cases. But about four months ago, I was able to investigate one myself-- a young man named Joe Wallace. He lives here in the city, over near Dupont Circle. Wallace had cut off his toxic dad years ago, and refused to visit him in the hospital as he was dying. Four days after his father’s death, a truck crashes into his house in the middle of the night and then drives away before the police can arrive.”

“And he died.”

“No!” Inoue held up one finger. “Scratches and bruises, but he doesn’t die!”

“Okay, great. So what does he remember?”

“He remembers a truck crashing into his house.”

Ichigo scratched his chin. “I am confused.”

“Look at this!” Inoue stabbed a finger at the pictures. “These are claw marks, not vehicular wreckage! There’s damage on the second story window! Wallace had scratches and defensive wounds, as if he had been fending off an animal! And look here, at the damage to the walls of the bedroom!”

“What am I looking at?” Ichigo asked, squinting at a photograph that looked like it had been blown up past the point of recognition.

“There were cuts and slashes in the walls and bedding as though someone had been fighting with a sword.”

“Like a Medieval Times sword? Was the guy a Medieval Times enthusiast?”

“More consistent with a katana. Do you like Medieval Times?”

“No one likes Medieval Times.”

“I like Medieval Times. You’ve probably never even been. But back to the ghost! Why would Wallace remember a truck crashing into his house, when nothing about the scene is consistent with that story?”

“He was...lying?”

“His memories were replaced.”

“His memories were replaced,” Ichigo echoed.

“Yes.”

“By… aliens?”

Orihime heaved a deep sigh. “By a grim reaper.”

“A grim reaper with a samurai sword.”

“How on earth did you come to this conclusion?”

Inoue raised one eyebrow. “Because when I placed him under hypnosis, Wallace didn’t remember anything about a truck. He did remember a monster with batwings and a mask made of bone and his dead father’s voice who tried to kill him, except that he was saved by a tall man dressed in black. The man had bright red hair and fought the monster with a sword that was also a whip and then he wiped Wallace’s memories.”

Ichigo stared at her. “You can hypnotize people?”

Inoue gave him a long-suffering face. Ichigo had the sudden flash that he was going to be seeing that face a lot in the days to come. “Yes, I am a certified hypnotist.” Inoue’s phone suddenly started playing “Tubular Bells”. “Oops, that’s an alarm. Come on, we have a meeting with some important people. Do you like diners?”

  👻     👻     👻

Agent Inoue apparently did not care for public transit, but she walked very quickly. Ichigo was concentrating so hard on keeping up with her that he nearly collided with her back when she stopped very suddenly.

“You don’t mind if we make a quick stop, do we?” Inoue asked.

“You said the meeting was with important people.”

“Oh, don’t worry about them!” Inoue pursed her lips. “You see that bodega right there?”

They were in a part of downtown that was mostly mid-to-upscale restaurants and government buildings and FedExes. But sure enough, there was a dingy little bodega nestled between a Mexican-Indian fusion place and an Au Bon Pain, the windows stuffed with t-shirts from the last administration and a variety of cell phone chargers. The overhead sign read “Urahara Shop.”

“Y...eah…” Ichigo replied.

“That place is a hotbed of supernatural activity.”

“Is it?” Ichigo asked.

“I am almost positive that it is a supply point and meeting place for grim reapers, monster slayers, cryptids, alien hunters, and lycanthropes, but the owner is on to me.”

“I see,” Ichigo said levelly.

“Can you go in and pretend to be a customer? They have lots of good candy you can look through. Inoue dug in her purse and came up with a fiver. “Here. Buy a scratch ticket or something.”

“I’m not buying a scratch ticket, they’re a scam.”

“If the big guy is working the counter, he’ll glare at you until you buy something, so be prepared.”

As Ichigo pushed open the door, he realized he’d never actually agreed to any of this. Agent Inoue’s secret hypnosis powers, once again. Whatever. It was a bodega, there were a thousand of them in DC. They all had the same Nats t-shirts and coffee mugs with pictures of the Washington Monument on them. Ichigo pretended to be interested in a rack of comics. He tended to prefer indy comics over the big publishers himself, but even so, he didn’t recognize any of the books. Maybe they were by local authors.

Up at the front of the shop, a tiny, dark-haired woman was giving whatfor to the man behind the counter, a tall fellow with pale, straw-colored hair sticking out in tufts from under the saddest hat Ichigo had ever seen, a shapeless, battered bucket, striped green and white.

“Well, I can sell you a new battery for your phone, Miss Kuchiki, maybe that would help.”

“Not if it only lasts as long as the last one you sold me! I really need to get in touch with my partner, except that even if I could get my phone working again, his battery is probably dead because everything you sell is the same crap!”

“Ah, that’s too bad! You know, I think Mr. Abarai was in here a few days ago… I wasn’t in at the time, but Jinta said he came in, asking about…”

The man trailed off, and Ichigo glanced up to see the shopkeeper looking directly at him.

“...metrocards. But as you know, we don’t sell metrocards anymore.”

The woman made an aggravated noise. “You’re so useless! If I write him a damned note, will you give it to him if he comes in?”

“Oh, of course! Anything for you, Miss Kuchiki!”

The conversation trailed off as the woman hunched over the counter to angrily scratch out a note.

Ichigo stuffed the comic he was flipping through back on its rack. He skipped the enormous display of bedazzled flip-flops and started perusing the surprisingly extensive selection of gum.

“Here!” the woman finished and shoved her note at the shopkeeper. “You’re the worst, you know that?”

“Have a wonderful day!” the shopkeeper tootled, giving her a little finger wave.

Ichigo felt bad for the woman. “Er, excuse me?” he said as she passed.

She turned to scowl at him. For such a tiny person, she seemed to contain a remarkable amount of rage.

“Do you need to call someone? You can use my phone, if you’d like.” He held it out like an offering.

The woman blinked at him for a moment.

“I didn’t mean to be nosy! You were just kind of loud and you sounded worried about your, um, partner.”

“I’m not worried about him, I just need to find him.” Her face softened. “Thanks, Mister, but I can’t reach him on a regular phone. Don’t worry, I’ll track him down eventually.” She turned to leave, then stopped to jab an accusatory finger at Ichigo. “And that’s professional partner, not… you know! Whatever!” She stomped out.

What a strange, tiny person.

Ichigo selected a gum and walked up to the counter.

“Oooh, dragonberry lime, good choice!” the man trilled. “Anything else I can get you? Bottled water? Fanny pack? Spare phone battery?”

“I’ll pass,” Ichigo replied dryly.

“I imagine it’s against FBI policy to let a stranger use your cell phone,” the shopkeeper said sweetly.

Ichigo’s brows furrowed. “This is my personal phone. And how did you…?”

The man gave a chortling laugh that sent shivers down Ichigo’s spine. “Because headquarters is three blocks away and only an FBI agent would wear a suit that square.”

Ichigo took his change and his gum and shoved them both in his pocket. “Yeah, well, your hat sucks.”

The man laughed harder. “Doesn’t it, though?”

Once he was outside again, Ichigo handed Inoue the gum and her change. “The owner of that place is a creep.”

“The guy in the green and white hat?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s Urahara. You’re right, he’s the owner. Were there any other customers?”

“Just the short lady. You must have seen her come out. She was ripping Urahara a new one for some dodgy cell phone battery he sold her. I think she must have been NSA or something. She said she was trying to get ahold of her partner, but she needed a special phone.” As he said it, Ichigo realized it would be pretty odd for an NSA agent to be buying cell phone batteries from some shady bodega.

“No one came out,” Inoue replied.

“She definitely did! I heard the bell over the door ring.”

Inoue regarded Ichigo very seriously. “Agent Kurosaki. I was standing here the whole time. You were the only person who went in or out.” She looked at the gum. “Ooh! Dragonfruit lime! Do you want some?”

  👻     👻     👻

They were late to the meeting.

Two men were waiting for them in the back corner booth. One of them had pinched, pointy features and piercing blue eyes behind wire-rimmed glasses. His chin-length haircut was pretty dramatic, but not as dramatic as his pure white trench coat. A cup of black coffee sat on the faded Formica table in front of him, but it didn’t look like it had been touched.

His companion was an enormous, good-looking Latino who was shoveling pancakes into his face.

“Inoue,” the dramatic guy said. “Who’s this?”

“This is my new partner, Kurosaki,” Inoue replied. “Kurosaki, this is Uryuu Ishida,” she indicated the white trenchcoat guy, “and Chad,” Mr. Pancakes.

“Also known as the ‘Lone Archers,’” Ishida specified. “We are apolitical actors who are interested in revealing the truths that are regularly hidden from the general populace by secret forces that conspire within the machinery of the American government.”

“You can just call me Chad,” said Chad.

“Good morning!” the waitress said. “Can I get you folks anything?”

“Oh, yes! I’m getting mozzarella sticks! Do you like mozzarella sticks, Kurosaki? They’re so good here!”

“So’re the pancakes,” added Chad.

“I’ll just have a coffee,” Ichigo announced. He glanced at Ishida’s cup. “Black.”

“Double mozzarella sticks, please!” Inoue chorused. “And a cherry coke!” She leaned over to Ichigo and spoke out of the side of her mouth. “I’ll give you a mozzarella stick.”

“Do you want some pancake?” Chad offered to Ishida. “I never think to offer.”

Ishida waved him off with a hand. “Agent Inoue. At great personal peril, I was able to obtain a sample of the item we discussed.” He slid a small paper packet across the table. “There are two tablets inside, but one should be sufficient for your purposes.” Ishida leaned forward, his mouth set in a firm line. “I was cautioned very strongly against using this, unless one had a firm plan for handling the… consequences.”

“I understand,” Inoue replied, stuffing the envelope into her purse.

Ichigo wanted to ask more questions, but the conversation shifted very quickly to some USGS floodplain maps that Ishida wanted Inoue to obtain for him that were apparently not available from the public webportals, allegedly because of filesize. Ichigo could practically hear the air quotes around the word “filesize.”

“We’re going to look for Jersey Devils next weekend,” Chad explained, sounding pretty excited about it.

“There’s only one, Chad,” Ishida corrected. “It’s just ‘Jersey Devil.’”

“There could be more than one,” Chad shrugged.

Thirty minutes later, they departed. Inoue had an order of mozzarella sticks in her purse. Ichigo had an armload of backissues of the Lone Archers’ ‘zine, which was, conveniently enough, titled The Lone Archer. There was no doubt in his mind that at least Ishida was completely off his rocker. The jury was still out on Chad… he struck Ichigo as the sort of guy who just went along with Ishida’s nonsense because he was a good friend and also liked taking camping trips and doing layout for ‘zines.

“So what was that thing they gave you?” Ichigo pestered. The idea of that little paper packet had been burning a hole in his brain the entire time.

“You busy tonight?” Inoue asked, raising an eyebrow slyly. “Between 10 and 11?”

“What are we doing?” Ichigo asked cautiously, wondering if he would be able to charge his time.

“We’re going to try and attract an angry ghost.”

  👻     👻     👻

“Are you… sure this is… a good idea?” Ichigo asked for the sixteenth time, as Inoue focused the thermal camera on him.

They were in an old, abandoned lot that had formerly served as a Metro service facility. It was pretty spooky all on its own, filled with train cars too dilapidated for salvage.

It was 10:25pm. Inoue had set up no less than 17 different pieces of ghost detection equipment. Ichigo was questioning his life choices.

“You told me you don’t believe in ghosts. If ghosts don’t exist, then what could possibly go wrong?” Inoue posed.

“Well… that’s true,” Ichigo granted. “And, for the record, I still do not believe in ghosts. But in the Pascal’s wager sense of things, I am considering the ramifications of what happens if there are ghosts that exist, regardless of my belief in them.”

“And?” Inoue asked.

“Well, you said that these ghosts have hurt and killed people before. It seems like trying to attract one without having any method of, um, fighting it, seems kind of… irresponsible?”

“Ah, but you see, I’ve specifically picked this time and location to coincide with the grim reaper patrol routes I’ve been mapping out. Our friendly neighborhood psychopomp ought to show up just on schedule to fight the angry ghost for us. We’re doing them a favor, as I see it.”

“How so?” Ichigo exclaimed.

“It’s not like we’re creating an angry ghost out of nowhere. We’re just attracting an existing one to our location. We’re saving the grim reaper the trouble of having to hunt it down.”

Ichigo pinched the bridge of his nose. Why was it so difficult to argue with Inoue? Possibly because she was so incredibly earnest in all her beliefs, and all her arguments were in completely good faith, it’s just that her logic came from some other dimension. This woman has solved multiple, high-profile murders, including several that were ice cold, Ichigo reminded himself. So she’s quirky. I am sure I can learn a lot from her.

“Okay, everything is in place!” Inoue announced, placing her hand on her hips. “Go hide behind that pile of moldy seats!”

Inoue took Ichigo’s place at the center of her recording equipment. “Agent Orihime Inoue speaking,” she said, for posterity. “It is 10:28pm. I am crushing one tablet of a substance called ‘Hollow Bait.’” She crunched the little white tablet, which looked an awful lot like an Alka-Seltzer, between her fingers, and then made a flying leap for the rotting pile of damp, orange upholstery that Ichigo was crouched behind.

“So, just out of curiosity,” Ichigo started. “How long would we have to wait, theoretically, with nothing happening, before we would declare this a bust?”

Inoue pursed her lips thoughtfully. “Usually, I would give it about two hours, but if you’ve got somewhere to be, I don’t mind if you leave early. It is nice to have company for a change.”

“No, I don’t have anywhere else to be,” Ichigo replied. “I mean… sleeping, I guess.”

Inoue gave a charming little laugh. “I don’t sleep very well. And hunting for ghosts is more interesting than most of the stuff on Hulu.”

The way that she said it gave Ichigo the distinct impression that Inoue was, well, lonely. But that didn’t seem correct. She was weird, sure, but she was also friendly and talkative, and, er, well, she was extremely cute. Surely she had tons of friends.

“How’d you get into ghost hunting, anyway?” he tried to be conversational.

“Hmm,” Inoue hummed noncommittally. “Let’s just say there was an incident in my teen years, where my memories don’t match up to the property damage.”

Oh. Ichigo wondered if he should apologize, when suddenly, a cold chill ran down his spine and a sound like a roar echoed in his ears, except he didn’t actually hear anything. “Did you hear that?” he gasped.

“It’s the EMF detector,” Inoue nodded, scrambling for the reader and Ichigo realized he could hear a faint beeping.

“No, not the beeping, it was like a… a… scream…”

“You heard a scream?”

“I didn’t exactly…” Ichigo trailed off as he heard two more, coming from different directions. “There’s more than one. Monster screams. Not human screams.”

Inoue stared at him, eyes wide. “I don’t hear anything. Have you ever been tested for latent psychic ability?”

There was a sudden change in the air pressure, and a fetid, rotting smell, even worse than the Metro seats. Ichigo grabbed Inoue by the shoulders and rolled out of the way, just as the pile of junk they had been crouched behind compacted like it had been through a car crusher. Or smashed by a giant foot.

“Whoa!” Inoue exclaimed, trying to push Ichigo off of her so she could see what was going on.

Ichigo blinked through the night. He couldn’t see anything, but there was an area of space that looked thick and hazy, like it wasn’t refracting the harsh glow of the sodium street lights quite correctly.

“We have to get out of here,” Ichigo gasped.

“Can you see it?” Inoue asked, her eyes wide and excited.

“Not-- not really,” Ichigo replied, pulling at her arm. The air blurred, and Ichigo had the sense the thing was jumping at them. He could tell it was fast, but he couldn’t see it, he didn’t know what to--

“Howl, Zabimaru!”

It was both there and not quite there, a liquid blade made of glass and starlight, that snapped through the air at the invisible thing. The monster bellowed, and whipped around, charging at a dark figure standing atop one of the old Metro cars.

“Pick on someone your own size, ugly!” the man bellowed, and as Ichigo squinted, he realized that their savior was dressed all in black. He was tall, and his hair was pulled back in a spiky ponytail. It was bright red. He was also wearing sunglasses, even though it was the middle of the night. They were pushed up on top of his head, to be fair, but Ichigo had a feeling this detail would stick with him.

“You can see that guy, right?” Ichigo asked Inoue desperately. “The guy who’s fighting the ghost? The guy that looks just like the guy in your report?”

“There’s a guy?” Inoue asked. “No. Where is he? Can you usually see ghosts?”

“I don’t even believe in ghosts!”

“Well, maybe you don’t believe in them because you can see them and you don’t want to, did you ever think of that?”

“I don’t think now is the time to interrogate my personal traumas!”

Suddenly, there was another drop in pressure, and Ichigo had the sense of heavy breathing and sharp teeth. “Inoue. I think there’s another one.”

“Well, can you get the guy to come fight this one, too?”

“He seems busy,” Ichigo squeaked.

Something black flashed by his vision, and there was a loud crack and a sound of something screeching in pain. A second dark-clad person had arrived, landing softly on sandaled feet. There was the same unreality to her, a sense that she wasn’t entirely there, as well as a certain familiarity that Ichigo couldn’t place. Her sword was bright in the darkness, like moonlight reflecting on snow.

“Oi, there you are, you big dummy!” she shouted at the first man and Ichigo realized with a jolt that it was the angry woman from the bodega. “I’ve been looking for you for four days!”

“I had a problem with my gigai and maybe you should check your texts once in a while!” the tall guy shouted back. Ichigo refused to think of him as a grim reaper. A grim reaper would not wear sunglasses.

“My phone died!”

“Can we-- ow! -- discuss this later? I’m glad you’re okay, I missed you. Why are there so many Hollows in this train yard?”

“You’re such a sap! And the Hollows are here because some stupid humans got ahold of some Hollow bait.” The woman turned, and glared at Ichigo. Her eyes burned with blue flame, like the burner of a gas stove.

That would have been the last thing Ichigo remembered, if he had actually remembered it, or any of the things that came before it.

  👻     👻     👻

Ichigo was sitting at his desk.

Inoue was sitting at her desk.

The sun was streaming in the window. The clock on Ichigo’s phone read 7:12am.

Inoue frowned. She examined a coffee cup on her desk. She took a hesitant sip, and then made a face. “Why are we here?” she wondered softly.

“I hate to pull an all-nighter,” Ichigo said, stretching, “but it sure does feel good to be caught up on paperwork!”

Inoue regarded him. “Kurosaki,” she said, “how long have you worked here?”

Ichigo frowned. “Well, I guess this is my second day.”

“Right. So… how much paperwork did you have to catch up on?”

Ichigo blinked. He very distinctively recalled working through the night-- his hand cramping, the incredibly spicy Thai food they’d ordered, Inoue’s seemingly infinite Boy Bands of the 90’s playlist. “I… was helping you, I guess?” Come to think of it, why was he filling out paperwork by hand, anyway? His laptop sat next to him, the lid closed. It wasn’t even plugged in.

Inoue’s fist slammed down onto her desk. “Gosh darnit! They wiped my memories again!!”

[softest-cinnamon-roll]

“[text] Hey, it’s me. I heard banging noises and I’m terrified. Please save me. and “I wonder if I still have that ouija board…”

“[text] Hey, it’s me. I heard banging noises and I’m terrified. Please save me. and “I wonder if I still have that ouija board…”

“I wonder if I still have that Ouija Board”

Deep down, Eddie knew it had been a bad idea to pull out the Ouija board that the losers had collectively bought him for his birthday last year. Of course, it had been a simple joke, something for them all to laugh about in the years to come. Eddie was never meant to actually use it.

Yet, he had, and now he was seriously regretting it. The whole place was cold, colder than it had ever been, and Eddie was beginning to freak the fuck out.

He had been bored, extremely so, therefore he had pulled out the board and set up some candles around the table before turning off the lights. At first, nothing exciting happened, and it was simply just Eddie holding onto the planchette tight in his grip.

“Is anyone here with me?”

No response.

“If anyone is here, can you please spell out your name?”

Nothing. Nada.

It had been an hour and Eddie was still as bored as he had been back then. One more question, he would ask one more question and then he would call it a night, pack the board up and forget about it for the rest of his life. Well, forget about it until Bev or Richie brought it up on some drunk night out in the future.

“Okay, uh, is anyone here with me? Anyone at all?” Eddie asked, his voice a little shaky and he gripped onto the planchette even tighter. There was nothing at least, not at first. A few seconds passed and Eddie was about to pack the board away when the planchette moved under his hand.

Eddie gasped, moving his hand away from the planchette as though he had been burned, scrambling backwards so his back was hitting the wall. His face was pale white at this point as he stared at the board still sitting on his coffee table. “I- fuck,” he breathed and his eyes widened as his breath showed up in the air. It was then that he realised how cold the room at become and his heart rate picked up tenfold.

“This is crazy,” he breathed, running a hand through his hair. “This is insane. I imagined that, right? I just- was wanting something to happen so badly that I did it on my own…” As Eddie continued to ramble to himself, the candles in the room blew out, leaving the room in total darkness. “Fuck!”

This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening. The whole Ouija board thing was meant to be fake, something used in movies to scare kids to not mess with the afterlife. That was the whole reason the losers bought Eddie the board in the first place, as a fucking joke. It was never really meant to work!

His thoughts were broken off by a loud bang coming from his kitchen and Eddie felt tears well up in his eyes, panic flooding in his chest. Oh god, what had he done? What the fuck had he been thinking? He was about to die alone in his house after being stupid and playing with the Ouija board without having any friends present.

Eddie looked around the room for some kind of saving grace, and like by magic, he spotted his phone. Without making too much movement, Eddie scrambled for it, taking it in his shaking hands and unlocking it. It took a few times, but he managed, pulling up Richie’s number and typing out a quick, panicked, message.

[To Richie] Hey, it’s me. I heard banging noises and I’m terrified. Please save me. - Eddie

Immediately, the tick appeared next to the message to show it had been read, followed by the little bubble at the bottom, highlighting that Richie was texting back. It didn’t take long, and soon Richie’s response appeared underneath his first message.

[To Eddie] Eds what the fuck are you talking about? Is there someone in your house? Do I need to call 911. - Rich

[To Richie] No! No 911. I found the Ouija Board. Please help.

There was no further reply from Richie and Eddie let out a soft sob as the cupboards and drawers in the room started banging aggressively. He tugged on his hair, praying that this was all a dream, that he would wake up in his bed in the morning in his bed. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Suddenly, the banging stopped, leaving Eddie’s apartment in an eerie silence. All that could be heard was the harsh breathing Eddie was making, and he covered the palm of his hand over his mouth to try and stay as quiet as he could. In hindsight, Eddie should have realised it didn’t matter how loud he was, if there was a demon in his house he was going to die whether he was loudly breathing or not.

The sound of the door to his place opening caused his heart to jump into his throat, “H-Hello?” He called, carefully moving away from the door.

“Eds?”

Eddie let out a huge sigh of relief as Richie appeared in the doorway, eyes wide and glancing around the room at the mess. “Richie-” he breathed, standing up and taking a step towards him. He barely made it two steps when the window to his living room burst open and Richie was thrown across the room due to the force, his head just missing the sharp end of his coffee table. “Richie!”

A groan echoed across the room and Eddie exhaled that Richie was still alive. He wanted to go over to him, but was scared something would happen to him or to Richie. “Eds,” Richie’s voice called, groggy from the impact. “You- you need to end the interaction with the board!”

As soon as RIchie said it, Eddie felt stupid for not figuring it out before. His head whipped to the board and Eddie sucked in a deep breath before he lunged for the board and the planchette. Objects in the room started to move around fast, throwing themselves at Eddie in an attempt to stop him reaching the board.

With the planchette in his grip, Eddie scrunched his eyes shut and shoved it forward on the board so it was covering over the ‘goodbye’ word on the board. “GOODBYE!” He screamed, keeping his eyes scrunched shut as everything in the room went still.

“Holy shit,” Richie breathed, his head popping up from where he had landed on the ground. “Jesus Eds, you crazy?”

Eddie rushed over to Richie, checking all his body and his head for any signs of injury, “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

Richie shook his head, a smile on his lips regardless of the shit that had gone down mere minutes ago. “I’m fine, just sore. More importantly, what the hell?” He asked. “Why would you, are you really that insane?”

“I was bored,” Eddie admitted, looking down at his feet and Richie squeezed his hand, comforting him. “I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have.”

Shaking his head, Richie cupped Eddie’s cheek, “Don’t, it’s fine. As long as you’re alright that’s all that matters.” He groaned, sitting up properly. “Why don’t we pour ourselves a drink and focus on cleaning this place up? Maybe even getting rid of the damn board?”

Eddie laughed, nodding his head. “That sounds like an amazing plan.”

* * * * * 

@richietoaster @tozier-boy @eds-trashmouth @bitchbrak @sloppybitchreddie @its-stranger-than-you-think @maximusfraker @jem-carstairs-is-perfection @thejadeazalea @halfway-happy353 @tinyarmedtrex @inthebreadbinwrites @kat-ships-everything @takeourpure @lo-v-ers @that-weird-girls-blog @studpuffin @s-s-georgie @reddie-for-anything @trashmouthtozierr @richietoizer @girasol-eddie @bi-bi-richie @honeybeehanlon @mars-14 @reddiesetandgo @marsisaplanetyall @xandertheundead @sedanleystanley @hawkinsbabe @beepbeeprichiellc @stellarbisexual @oldguybones @thundercatseddie @eduardoandale  @purplepoisonedgem @reddie-to-cryy @pink-psychic @violetreddie @deadlighten @queen-sock @appojoos @moonlightrichie @rreddies @disneyfan567 @annxmatron @lifesucksheres20bucks @anellope @roobarrtrashmouth @are-you-reddie-for-it @callmechee @nancynwheeler @reddieforlove @twoidiotsinl0ve @madi-artist @tozierking @s-onora @atownofeggs  @wilding-throught-thehallways @no-she-wasnt-reddie 

[clarabosswald]

okay so someone on twitter dug up this absolutely outstanding uhhh “”article”” on his dark materials in general and the golden compass movie specifically by one david j stewart and i just. i HAVE to break down at least some of it because it’s an absolute gem

(this is a bit long - there is a LOT of stupidity to cover here)

first of all, the url

i could honestly just end the post here because that line right there is a masterpiece by itself. screw eurovision, hellivision is the next hot thing

There is no movie any more evil than THE GOLDEN COMPASS.

that’s the first line of the article. what a first line. the most amazing thing is that in an entirely different context i can kind of agree with this claim

Philip Pullman is a sinfully proud, God-hating, militant atheist.

militant! oh wow. is the hdm fandom actually pullman’s secret army? like dumbledore’s army in hp? do we have secret meetings? i want in

The movie has been dumbed down

yet again i find myself agreeing with mr stewart

in the end the children kill God and everyone can do as they please.

people having free will? good lord, the horror. 

The movie is indescribably evil.

damn dude yet again you’re right but you’re kinda preaching to the choir here at this point

The word "demon" is repeated several dozen times throughout the movie, as each child has it's own lovable demon. 

this is the first time in the article that mr david j stewart stubbornly refuses to understand that there’s this thing called “concept” and “artistic license” and that in the context of the hdm world, pullman used his artistic license to change the common meaning of the word d(a)emon.  NOT TO MENTION that pullman hardly made up the concept of a daemon as a positive creature - “originally referred to a lesser deity or guiding spirit”, literally the first line in the wikipedia article about the classical concept of daemons. but yeah i’m unfairly expecting mr dave to do his research so i guess that’s kinda mean of me.

Witches by the hundreds are featured in the movie, and are portrayed as being good, helpful and rescuers.

for a moment i wondered what mr dave’s opinion on harry potter is like, but i can imagine it quite vividly.

The star character, a little girl named Lyra Belacqua, loves her demon (who takes various animal forms), and she has named him "Pan" (short for Pantalaimon)

somewhere inside of me, my inner hdm myth fanatic is screaming in rage at all the gross misunderstanding of the basic plot of hdm, but well we’ve got more serious problems here

Pan is the pagan god of sexual rape, lust and fertility.  Statues of Pan are often displayed showing him with an erection.

you know what’s EXTREMELY ironic here? pantalaimon isn’t named after that pan. he’s actually named after the greek saint pantaleon.  (mr dave now provides a link to his rage fest over narnia. good to know he’s against even blatantly pro-christian fiction.)

NOTE: Pullman uses the word "daemon." A "daemon" is just another term for "demon."

...no, honey, they really don’t, but we already know you didn’t do your research.

In the movie THE GOLDEN COMPASS, there are at least 50 references to a child's "DEMON."

imagine this grown up dude sitting in a movie theater watching a kids’ movie and counting the number of times the word “daemon” is said dkgsdaoighs

In one part of the movie, a missing boy (Roger Parslow) is found, but he is out of his mind and looks distraught because his DEMON has been taken away from him. Talk about twisting the truth around. The little girl who stars in the movie, Lyra, vows to find and return the boy's demon.

aslkdghsaodigho yeah this guy was definitely too busy to count “daemons” to actually pay attention to the plot

Pullman is hoping that unsuspecting parents will take their children to see the movie

no i actually think that at this point pullman didn’t want anything to do with the movie

The title for the trilogy comes from a line in John Milton’s Paradise Lost and Pullman views his trilogy as a re-telling of Milton’s poem (which means that His Dark Materials is in reality Pullman’s re-telling of the Genesis story in fantasy form)

no, not really, not as literal as that, but artistic subtleties seem to escape you quite frequently, my dear dave

In the trilogy, a young girl becomes enmeshed in an epic struggle against a nefarious [extremely wicked] Church known as the "Magisterium."

iooisadhgosdiahgosa i LOVE how dave made the EFFORT to explain the meaning of “nefarious” to the reader

Pullman's books are a work of darkness that every Christian needs to diligently expose (Ephesians 5:11)

damn dude can you believe hdm got so popular it’s referenced in the bible

America was founded upon faith in God, and the Communists are trying to rob it from our children

kefhsaoidgsdoh COMMUNISM CONFIRMED 

at this point in the article mr dave finally decides it’s time to talk about the story of the golden compass in mere two paragraphs. spoiler: the first paragraph is yet again dedicated to anti-pullman ranting. so much for that plot summary.

In the books, Pullman represents God as a decrepit and perverse angel who captures the dead in a “prison camp” afterlife.

damn the dude says he’s gonna talk about the plot of the golden compass and then goes ahead and spoils the amber spyglass just like that. where are your internet manners, dave

The story centers on Lyra, a young girl living at Jordan College in the Oxford of an alternate world where everyone is accompanied by a daemon, a physical representation of their soul in animal form.

this is the ONE time dave refers to daemons as what they ACTUALLY are. but i suspect he just copy-pasted this bit without actually reading what is said in it. 

One morning, Lyra's school Master

yet again someone was too busy counting words then remembering the plot/characters

Lyra then finds herself in a world where she must fight against evil, and here lies the controversy. Lyra is the "chosen child" who must do battle with evil. But in this story, the things that are good are evil (the church is the Magisterium, the bad group trying to gain control of all) and evil is good (daemons and witches are allies.)

it’s almost...... as if......... it’s somewhat........... symbolic.......... you know, that artistic device? symbolism? yeah? no...?

our darling dave then links to this piece as the source of his info on the plot of tgc and god that’s a whole nest of wasps i can’t even begin to deal with here. but it’s p entertaining how in only briefly reading the thing i can already recognize whole sentences who got copy-pasted by dave for his own magnificent piece of critique

Satan's Bid for Your Child

oh, WHAT a title for the next segment of the article. i’m hooked

Even though the books are strongly anti-God and anti-church, they’re getting a strong push in the godless public school system as curriculum resources.  First the God-hating Communists introduced the lies of Evolution into the public school system.  Then they kicked God's Word and prayer out of the public schools in 1962 and 1963.  Now they want to teach our children homosexuality and witchcraft.

communism! evolution! homosexuality! witchcraft! god, i’m trembling

dave goes on for a while without mentioning the movie again, just ranting against the world in general. parts of it are still amusing, though:

Evolution is in fact a religion, as is humanism, witchcraft and Satanism.

yeah man i miss it when in school we used to pray to darwin every morning before class started :(

It requires faith to believe Evolution because there is NO proof, or even evidences to permit study. It is tragic that young people today are being taught a theory that has NO proof whatsoever.  In sharp contrast, the Word of God is supported by an overwhelming abundance of scientific, historical, archeological and astronomical evidence.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD. WOW!!!!!!!!!!

Public school children are being taught religion; but it's the religions of Humanism (i.e., man is his own god), Evolution, New Age and now Demonism.

are daemians aware that daemonism is being taught in public schools as a whole ass religion??? damn

With the rise of the New World Order since the 911 attacks

holy shit dude dave is diving deep into the waters of conspiracy at this point

Surely Satan is already panicking, knowing that he must accomplish much in a very short time frame.  This explains why we see a flood of demonism, witchcraft and apostasy sweeping the world in an effort to destroy Christianity.  Have you heard about the new FLY Pentop COMPUTER for kids, which features witchcraft?  Did you know that Toys-R-Us sells a VooDooz doll for children?  It comes complete with a spell book, and pins to stab your VooDooz doll with.  I was at Barnes and Noble bookstore and saw a Teenage Witchcraft Kit.

THIS DUDE IS FUCKING WILD i imagine he started yelling at some poor employee for having witchcraft in that store

Doesn't anyone love God anymore?

this is sad.

The Bible condemns all forms of witchcraft—Voodoo, charms, spells, divination, incantations, palm readings, Ouija boards, psychics, witchery, sorcery, wizards, magic, potions, good luck charms, astrology, necromancy, spiritism, magic candles, mesmerism, hypnosis, astral projection, levitation, and anything else that invokes the power of Satan.

he actually............went through the trouble of listing all of that. from memory, no doubt

WE’RE BACK TO THE GOLDEN COMPASS AT LAST LADS

Instead of presenting the trailer on the homepage, The Golden Compass website uses audio to introduce the characters of the film and their respective demons, and then provides a prompt to "Meet Your Demon."  Twenty questions are presented which promise to reveal "your true character and the form of your demon."  Once you complete the questionnaire, you can send your resulting demon to your friends, presumably to build a community of young demons who will all later commune at the theater.  This is pure Satanism and it's being directed at our children.  Satan wants your child.  The Golden Compass series glorifies demonism, witchcraft and divination; while blaspheming God Almighty.

Satan Wants Your Child

In the movie THE GOLDEN COMPASS, children are being kidnapped by a mysterious group called the Gobblers and taken "to the North" where they are tortured by having their daemons separated from them.  This is the Satanic garbage that film producers and book publishers are vomiting upon our children.  Towards the end of the film, the starring little girl deliberately destroys the machine that was robbing children of their daemons.  Literally, the movie portrays the little girl as a hero for ensuring that all the other children can continue to be daemon possessed.  This is one sick movie, straight out of the pits of Hell.

it’s fucking ASTOUNDING how this paragraph could straight up pass as magisterium propaganda

How about you?  Our time on earth is short my friend.  This life will be over before we know it.  Is your heart right with God?  Are you saved?  Have your sins been washed away by the precious blood of Jesus Christ?

this dude got so fucking emotional over one bad movie he grossly misunderstood i am INSPIRED

our dearly beloved dave now goes on to quote yet another highly reputable source on the evil of the golden compass

"His Dark Materials" by atheist Philip Pullman

is “atheist” a title at this point? now that pullman is a sir, do they call him “atheist sir pullman” or “sir atheist pullman”?

Unsaved Heathens and Apostates Praise Pullman's Works of Darkness

do i get to officially call myself “unsaved heathen and apostate” because that’s one rad fucking title

Satan truly is the god of this world (2nd Corinthians 4:4), and he has many servants.

this is such a confusing fucking statement. how can satan be the god of this world if there is only one god? or two, because there is god and there’s also jesus? god i don’t know christianity never made any sense so this statement isn’t actually that surprising

Why would any professed "Christian" support Pullman's works of darkness, which he admittedly calls HIS DARK MATERIALS?

esteemed article writer dave is unaware of the existence of the concept of “references”

Sadly, ChristianityToday magazine promotes this vile filth, giving it a rating of 2 1/2 out of a potential 4 stars.  I give the movie a ZERO rating, and so should you if you love the Lord Jesus Christ!

yeah guys! we must purify this dirty world by giving bad ratings to hollywood movies! this is the only way to show jesus our love and devotion! 

Movie writer-director Chris Weitz has said he wants to make the next films more "iconoclastic," so consider this bit of sacrilege a taste of what is yet to come.  The word "iconoclastic" means "Characterized by attack on established beliefs or institutions."  In other words, the sequels to The Golden Compass are going to blaspheme God and attack Christianity much worse than the first movie.

man.... chris had good intentions. too bad new line fucked him over with how bad they butchered the movie in post-prod.

If we don't complain, then who will... the atheists?

this line is so confusing and meaningless and yet so timeless and iconic. wow

The Golden Compass is a Sicko Movie

i can’t breathe this sounds like an early 2000s compliment coming from a middle school bad boy who does tubular tricks on his skateboard

For Pullman, sexual experience is an essential part of becoming a full-grown human, despite the confusion and pain it can cause.

HOW IN THE FUCK IS THIS CONTROVERSIAL OR WRONG FOR NON-ACE PEOPLE KADSH;GOIDAGSDKJG

Children Using Divination to Confirm Guidance from Demons? "Lyra tries to consult the alethiometer to see if the daemons are right.”

Things Taking Wildly Out Of Context Making No Sense?

Kill God?

after reading this torturous rant? yes absolutely. next

Of course the idea in a trilogy is to read the second and third books, and not just the first.  Naturally Scholastic is selling nicely packaged boxes of the trilogy.

i love how dave felt the need to explain to us how trilogies and bookselling work. what a sweetheart

Blasphemy!  Children are being taught that killing God is quite a desirable thing to do.

will anyone ever understand that WILL AND LYRA NEVER INTENDED TO KILL GOD, AND WHEN GOD DIED IT WAS BY MISTAKE AND MADE THEM UPSET AND SAD? i mean this guy won’t, but people who actually read the books???

God and the Church Are Awful and Pathetic?

dave at this point in reading your rant i hate the whole of christianity. yes. next

Summoning Witches? “Serafina and her witches decide that they need to summon other witch clans....”

Mr Dave Is Unaware That The Word “Summon” Has Got Several Meanings

“He is so weak and old that he blows to bits with the first breeze, but his dissolution comes as a relief. It is as though God does not want the burden of leadership. In the end, Will and Lyra don’t kill God. Instead, they free him, and he becomes one with the universe again. The fact that God dissolves just like the newly freed ghosts suggests that perhaps God is simply the spirit of the living.”

i love how dave quotes this whole bit - ACTUAL GOOD ANALYSIS OF GOD’S DEATH IN HDM - without absolving any of its meaning

Conclusion The Golden Compass is evil.

i love this

children today are being challenged to hate Christianity, and are being invited to join ranks with the Devil's army.

damn i totally missed that bit about joining satan’s army in hdm

All we hear about nowadays is how religion throughout the ages has caused wars and suppressed people's rights.

it’s almost as if it’s true!

Increasingly, children today are being brainwashed to view Christianity as a power-hungry "MAGISTERIUM" (i.e., the evil organization in The Golden Compass), which seeks to suppress the rights of homosexuals, Wiccan witches, Evolutionists, abortionists, feminists and other degenerates of society.

WHAT a sentence!!!!!

The grave danger of Harry Potter and The Golden Compass

that sounds like one hell of an au

Christians are commanded not to associate with any professed Christian who is a drunkard, chases women, lives for money or lives in unrepentant sin.

and yet donald trump is president of the united states! go figure, davey

Public school children are being taught that the sin of homosexuality should be accepted; BUT, God says "No."  Now you know why homosexuals hate God's Word so much.

we’re almost at the end of the rant and dave didn’t reference balthamos and baruch even once and i feel ROBBED

Women in the 1960's embraced feminism, because they were told (just as Eve) that the higher powers were trying to suppress their rights.  Satan lied to Eve, thus creating a sinful power-struggle between her and God.

damn why won’t women just understand that men are like god :\\\

Satan is recruiting.  Satan has a bid for your child mom and dad, and he will stop at nothing to recruit your child's soul.

gotta admire the determination there

Again, The Golden Compass is evil.  It is not just a fantasy for children.  The author of the series (Philip Pullman) is a militant, God-hating atheist who has openly stated that his goal is to "undermine the basis of Christian belief" in the mind's of children.

dave decided that the best way to end his rant is to quote a line that already appeared in the text at least 2 times before. man, if you ever think you’re a bad writer, remember that at least you’re not as bad as this dude.

moral of the story is: dave probably needs some sleep. and professional help

[hinshinotsuki]

🖤 Switched 🖤

***

***

The next moment she woke up, she found herself staring into the same forest floor of leaves and pebbles. She closed her eyes, wanting to go back to sleep, when she felt something poke her in the cheek.

"Is she dead?"

"No, dummy, she just opened her eyes!"

"Shall we bring her to the hospital?"

"That's it. I'm calling 911,..."

(F/N) instinctively snapped her eyes open and sat bolt upright when she heard the unfamiliar voices talking about her. She looked at them and saw two teens in weird attire consisting of short - sleeved shirts and knee - length pants staring confusedly and worriedly at her. Both of them were carrying what looked like huge rucksacks with a lot of pockets on their bags and they even wore funny looking hats that were cut on the top.

Weird, thought (F/N). What's the point of wearing a hat if it exposes your head?

"Hey, miss, are you okay?" the one who must've poked her in the cheek asked her. He was carrying a stick and unknowingly pointing it at her. "Are you injured?"

"What are you doing out here?" asked the teen's companion. "How can we help you?"

(F/N) opened her mouth to speak, and with a painful sensation on her throat, most probably due to her narrow escape from death due to asphyxiation, said, "Where am I?"

"Trost City." answered the one with the stick. "Are you lost?"

"No." she answered. It was the truth, she's still in Trost. "Are you the ones who saved me from them?"

"Oh, god! Did someone really try to kill you? I'm definitely calling 911 now!"

In a confused daze, (F/N) stood up in shock, unable to understand what these teenagers were saying. This made the two strangers even more scared and confused.

"Don't worry, miss! The cops are coming."

"No! Leave me alone!" (F/N) practically screamed at them and ran as fast as she could away from the two.

"What happened to her?"

"I have no idea. But, I honestly think she just came from some kind of a weeb party. I mean, look at her."

"Yeah, dude, definitely right."

As the two talked about her, (F/N) made her way out of the forest, glad to still know the way out. But, when she finally came out, she hoped she was back there again, for it seemed that she just entered the afterlife, and this is what Heaven, or Hell, looked like.

Instead of the usual marketplace filled with dirty peasants going about their daily, mundane business, she saw a magnificent - looking park filled with citizens wearing different and weird - looking clothes, kind of similar to what the two teenagers she met at the forest wore. The females were wearing absolutely tiny skirts and pants that showed their bare thighs, and some of them even had the courage to expose bits of their chest. The males were wearing short - sleeved shirts in different patterns, matched with strange - looking fabrics that went well with their equally strange - looking footwear. All of them paraded around the place in different directions, but most of them were looking into small, flat devices that shone like a light.

"Where the hell am I?" (F/N) breathed helplessly as she stepped into the light towards them.

At first, nobody took notice of her, but when she almost bumped into a short male wearing a pair of steel - rimmed glasses and what looked like absolutely huge earplugs with a strange white string, her world felt like turning upside down.

"Oh, hey, a cosplayer!" the teen said in a shrill voice. "Who are you cosplaying as?"

"Fool!" (F/N) shouted at the unsuspecting teen. "I' am a Scouting Legion Section Commander! Who are you to speak to me?"

"Ooh, in character!" the boy foolishly answered. He really didn't know a thing about the Legion. All of a sudden, he whipped out that same, smooth device and pointed it at the two of them. "Selfie!"

"Get away from me!" (F/N) screamed, thinking that the teen would murder her with that weapon of his and pushed him as hard as she can.

The people around them noticed the stirring commotion and gave her a suspicious look.

With an escalating heartbeat, she turned and left the teen on the ground where some people help him on his feet. Some were even shouting at her, calling her out for her assault. Nervously, she passed the citizens who gave her scared and suspicious looks, thinking she was some kind of maniac who didn't belong here.

A maniac,...

At the thought of being caught by the Military Police, she began running away from all those people. She ran for almost two hours straight, witnessing, with her very own eyes, the changes that happened during the span of her unconsciousness. Instead of the little stone houses, she saw towering structures made of both steel and glass that almost reached into the sky. Instead of horses leaving droppings around, she saw even more fancy - looking people walking with different kinds of dogs in leashes and some in little clothes that opened to the tail. Instead of the carriages, she saw fast, sleek - looking transportations that never stopped, carried four to six people inside, and were not pulled by horses.

She looked helplessly around, hoping this was all just a morbid dream, but one more bump into her, this time by a running male wearing black all over, made her realize that she really was not having a nightmare.

"Hey, are you okay?" the man asked kindly, looking at her like she was some lost brat.

(F/N) finally snapped. She screamed at the man, gaining the attention of everyone who was walking by, and ran away from him as fast as she could, hoping to get out of this madness. Her running brought her to one of the darkest parts of the city where some unsightly men gathered. They noticed her due to her Scouting Legion uniform, and, unfortunately, she made the huge mistake of stopping right in front of them.

"Hello, miss,..." one thug with a strange hair color said. "Are you lost?"

"How can we help you, sweetie pie?" another man cooed.

(F/N), despite the confusion she's feeling as of the moment, looked slightly up at them. She may be lost in this huge, urban menagerie, but she knew how to tell bad people from not.

And unluckily, these men were considered the  former.

"Hey, nerds don't belong here." their leader, the one who's really fat, said, coming closer and closer towards her. "We'll take you someplace else and maybe we could all get along,..."

Before the man could even finish talking, (F/N) kicked his ankles so hard, he toppled and plummeted to the ground.

"What the fuck!" the fat one howled in pain. "What are you two staring at?! Get that bitch!"

His two companions flinched at his tone and finally made a move to capture her. But, (F/N) was too quick for them. For one, she once had an impossibly strong sparring - partner. Second, she was used to fighting things that were way bigger than her. And thirdly, she just couldn't stand men like these.

And so, with a swift move, she grabbed the arm of the one with the strange hair color, twisted it like it was nothing, and brought it down to her waiting knee, breaking it as easily as splitting a stick in two. The man collapsed on the ground, howling with pain. Next, she strode towards his comrade like a predator, eyeing him wit murderous intent. The man made a huge mistake of flailing his arms at her in an effort to scare her away despite his evident fear of her. She dodged each and every hook and hit he threw at her, aside from that one punch, wherein she just connected her own palm with his bony fist, holding it firmly.

"My turn." she said in a low voice that sent shivers up his spine.

"No, no! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

But, he was too late. She brought her knee up once again and connected it with his skinny arm, breaking it with a really ugly sound. Then, she punched him right in his stomach, brought an elbow down his shoulder, and released a very powerful roundhouse kick which landed on his poor, ugly face.

"AAAHHH!"

(F/N) turned around in time to see strange hair running towards her with a metal bar on his good hand, swinging it high above his head, hoping to scare her.

"Really?" (F/N) muttered sarcastically and smiled. She wiped the sweat off her nose with her right fist and met the guy halfway. The man brought the metal bar down on her head and she easily caught it with her hand. The man gasped nervously as (F/N) pulled the bar, along with his arm, towards her.

"NO! NO! NO! AAAHHH! FUCK!" the man howled in pain once more as his now broken arm fell limply. He had no time to mourn his injuries when he looked up and met the thick and jagged sole of (F/N)'s boot. He flew backwards, landing on the ground and staining it with the blood coming from his now broken nose.

"Alright, who's next?" (F/N) said, turning around just in time to see their fat leader running towards her with a knife. "You just don't know when to give up, do you? Fine, then! Have it your way."

(F/N) ran towards their leader, colliding with him and stopping him in his tracks by putting her firm holding his arms firmly, making him unable to use his knife.

It was in this exact moment that a man happened to pass by. He got intrigued by the crowd that was starting to thicken at that dark and grimy part of Jinae. And just as he was about to move along, the crowd went wild with cheers.

"What the hell was that?" he muttered, then decided to finally go see the commotion himself.

And there, right in front of their very eyes, was someone he knew personally, kicking ass and totally beating the crap out of the city's most infamous thugs.

"The hell? (F/N), is that you?" he uttered, unable to believe his eyes. "Oh, this I gotta record!" He whipped up his phone and started recording when another group of men joined in the fight.

"This is our turf!" a huge man bellowed at the top of his lungs. "What do you think you're doing?"

(F/N) finally left the fat leader on the ground, collapsed and beaten to a bloody pulp.

"You one of them?" (F/N) asked, no trace of fear in her wild, beautiful eyes.

"What did you just say - ?!" one of the men screamed at her, mad that a woman such as her would talk back to them. 

However, their leader stopped him from going towards her. "Are you the one who did this?"

(F/N) smiled at him, wiping the blood off her face with the sleeve of her uniform. "You want to find out? Come and get me." she then said, blowing things out of proportion by challenging all of them.

"You,... dare?!" the leader screamed at her, effectively giving her men permission to attack her.

The people got worried and some of them started calling the police. The man who was taking the video, on the other hand, got more excited.

"Oh, you, go girl!" he said. "You're gonna get viral!"

For a moment there, everyone got so worried for (F/N), but when she started beating the crap out of those men, they couldn't help but cheer for her. It's like the days of these thugs' torment were over, thanks to the swift judgment this strange cosplayer was giving them. Blow after blow, punch after punch, kick after kick, the men fell on their knees and surrendered, until the leader, himself, remained standing.

The two combatants were about to fight when the sirens coming from the local city police could suddenly be heard. The leader noticed this and acknowledged that the fight had to stop.

"Leave this place and never go back." the leader said to (F/N). "I shall overlook this grievance for now."

"Why would I - " (F/N) said, irritated that he had to cancel their fight. She was about to demand for an explanation, when the man, who was taking videos earlier, came forward as bravely as he could and grabbed her just in time.

"Come on, (F/N)!" the man whispered desperately to her. "The cops are coming!"

"Do I even know you? Wait!" (F/N) wasn't given the chance to even talk properly as she was whisked away by this strange man.

***

🖤🖤🖤

***

[bookdancerfics]

Writing Tag Game

(kind of) tagged by @wesawbears (thanks!)

(this is now being rewritten purely out of spite because i was so close to posting this before and then i accidentally clicked out of the post and. it didn’t save. second time’s the charm right?)

(mostly answered based on ao3)

AO3 name: Bookdancer

Fandoms: so many on ff.net. on ao3: the foxhole court, avengers, fantastic four, spider-man, the hobbit, young justice, batman, supernatural, yuri!!! on ice, haikyuu!!, 911 on fox

Tropes: i learned the first time that i have an absurd number of AUs: ghost/yūrei, soulmate, sports, assassins, band, social media, vigilante, fantasy/magic, wild west. non-AUs: character-gets-turned-into-a-dog, dimension travel

Number of fics: on ao3, 26. an even 100 on ff.net

Fic I spent the most time on: actually not a posted fic (yet. eventually) but one that i have been working on off and on since april 2015. it’s a hobbit fic currently called “Liven My Body” that’s groundhog day-esque to start and then switches to an afterlife focus

Fic I spent the least time on: most likely This Is Neil Josten (aftg: andreil, neil gets a tattoo). it’s short and i remember writing it pretty quickly

Longest Fic: by far Love Pitch (avengers: winterhawk, baseball AU) at almost 22k words

Shortest Fic: The Oasis (aftg: andreil, assassins AU), at exactly 500 words

Most hits: The Long Road Home (fantastic four/spider-man: spideytorch, johnny gets turned into a dog), at 6000+ hits

Most kudos: inking love on their skin (avengers: winterhawk, soulmate AU), at 586 kudos

Most comment threads: #Josyard is Real (aftg: andreil, social media AU) has 50 comments but i think 26 threads. but the answer could also be Criminal Parenting (young justice: gotham villains help raise robin) since although it only has 5 comments on ao3 it has 200+ reviews on ff.net

Total word count: 129,069 on ao3, plus a lot more on ff.net

Favourite fic I wrote: there’s a boy here in town (says he’ll love me forever) (haikyuu!!, tsukiyama, ghost/yūrei yamaguchi)

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: "there’s a boy here in town” is technically part one of the darkness on the edge of town series and the prologue to a much longer fic still in the works

Share a bit of a WIP or a story idea you’re planning on: so i have a lot of story ideas and WIPs (more than i know what to do with), but the one closest to being posted is “untamed hearts,” part three of the checking vital signs series (911 on fox: hurt/comfort buck centric with the firefam)

Chimney flicks the light switch back and forth, then shrugs at Buck when the room stays dark.

“The storm took out the lights,” Chimney tells Bobby through the radio. “Any chance someone’s near the circuit breakers?”

“Negative,” Bobby says after a moment. “But we’ll send someone in to look. How’s the search going?”

“Well,” Buck answers. “It’s going.” He’s gone from being a dark shape against other dark shapes to having actual features, and Chimney watches as he reaches for the flashlight attached to his hip.

The light illuminates the room, and Chimney just gets a glimpse of something big, black, and furry before Buck is in front of him.

Tagging @queenofmoons67, @theonewiththewords, and anyone else who wants to! feel free to tag me/say i tagged you

[fbis-most-unwanted]

Halloween Horror Story Recommendations

Classic Horror:

Astrophobos by H.P. Lovecraft    (text)   (narration)

Facts Concerning the Late Arthur Jermyn and his Family by H.P. Lovecraft    (text)   (narration)

Herbert West, Reanimator by H.P. Lovecraft    (text)   (narration)

Rats in the Walls by H.P. Lovecraft    (text)   (narration)

The Boarded Window by Ambrose Bierce    (text)   (narration)

The Call of Cthulhu by H.P. Lovecraft    (text)   (narration)

The City by H.P. Lovecraft    (text)   (narration)

The Cremation of Sam McGee by Robert W. Service    (text)   (narration)

The Devil and Tom Walker by Washington Irving   (text)   (narration)

The Dunwich Horror by H.P. Lovecraft    (text)   (narration)

The Fall of the House of Usher by Edgar Allan Poe   (text)   (narration)

The Masque of the Red Death by Edgar Allan Poe    (text)   (narration)

The Monkey’s Paw by W. W. Jacobs   (text)   (narration)

The Ninth Skeleton by Clark Ashton Smith    (text)   (narration)

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde    (text)   (narration)

The preface, added by Wilde to a revised version of this book as a response to the harsh criticisms the novel received after its publication

The preface addresses criticisms made about the book as well as outlined several key points of “art for art’s sake” during the Aesthetic Movement

The Statement of Randolph Carter by H.P. Lovecraft    (text)   (narration)

 Modern Horror:

1999 by Giant engineer   (text)   (narration)

11 Miles by Emeryy   (text)   (narration)

An Open Letter to Reality Number Three by Cymoril_Melnibone   (text)

Anomaly by Rembetis   (text)   (narration)

Autopilot by Skarjo   (text)   (narration)

Blackcroft by Christopher Keegan   (narration)

Borrasca by C.K. Walker   (text)   (narration)

Boxes by 1000Vultures   (text)   (narration)

Candle Cove by Kris Straub   (text)   (narration) *This story was adapted into a TV show called Channel Zero

Chicken Bones by Steven Shorter   (text)   (narration)

Fenter Woods by MrTwelve   (text)   (narration)

Gateway of the Mind   (text)   (narration)

Grad Night at the Haunted Mansion by CrackedMack   (text)   (narration)

Hands by unseen_wombat   (text)   (narration)

Happy Puppet Syndrome by Error666   (text)   (narration)

How to Find Channel Infinity   (text)   (narration)

I’m a 911 Operator Who Just Had the Most Terrifying Call by HiggsThunder   (text)   (narration)

I’m a Search and Rescue Officer for the US Forest Service, I Have Some Stories To Tell by searchandrescuewoods (text)

I Was a Sheriff in Goody, Maine by charismodo   (text)

Kagome Kagome   (text)   (narration)

La Nuit   (text)   (narration)

Letter from the Ritual by Kevin Sharp (text)   (narration)

Mayhem Mountain by C.K. Walker   (text)   (narration)

Memorial Day Incident at Devil’s Lake, Wisconsin by EZmisery   (text)

My brother died when I was a child. He kept talking by TheEmporersFinest   (text)   (narration)

No Wolves in Stillwood by Andrew VanOrden   (text)   (narration)

Nothing There by Corban Groshek   (narration)

This is a story written and performed by five-year-old Corban Groshek.

NormalPornforNormalPeople.com by Cosbydaf   (text)   (narration)

Rap Rat   (text)   (narration)

Six Crows by Daniel Davis   (narration)

Sorry, Wrong Number by Lucille Fletcher   (text)   (narration)

Sterling Creek Series by sterlingcreekthrow   (text)

Tainted Candy by Unsettlingstories   (text)   (narration)

The Afterlife Experiment by C.K. Walker   (text)   (narration)

The Antiguan Giant   (text)   (narration)

The Arkansas Experiment by nazisharks   (text)   (narration)

The Art of Jacob Emory by Peter Divine (text)   (narration)

The Blank Revolt by Hopefullygoodgrammar   (text)   (narration)

The Chanting in the Woods   (text)   (narration)

The Clouds Are Hollow by Elias Witherow   (text)   (narration)

The Creek by C.K. Walker   (text)   (narration)

The Day I Lost My Faith by Michael Marks   (text)   (narration)

The Deer Gods by Andrew Harmon   (text)   (narration)

The Devil Game by InfernalNightmare333   (text)   (narration)

The Disappearance and Reappearance of Michael Vinson by Love Westergren   (text)   (narration)

The Disappearance of Ashley, Kansas by CoasterKid93   (text)   (narration)

The Disney Mirror Ritual by sl1878   (text)   (narration)

The Gristers   (text)   (narration)

The Humming by Brindolyn McNair       (narration)

The Hurricane Spirits by Matt Dymerski    (text)   (narration)

The Incident on Maple Avenue by Matt Dymerski   (text)   (narration)

The Man in the Well by Irα Shεr   (text)   (narration)

The Mischief Men by Michael Marks   (text)   (narration)

The Other Internet by Steven Shorter   (narration)

The River Country Film by TheBushAdministration   (text)   (narration)

The Russian Sleep Experiment   (text)   (narration)

The Sides of Trains and Why I Can’t Sleep at Night by Horsenwelles   (text)   (narration)

The Showers by Dylan Sindelar   (text)   (narration)

The Smiling Man by blue_tidal    (text)    (short film)

The Strangest Security Tape I’ve Ever Seen by powerhawkmash   (text)   (narration)

The Tall Man of Briarbell, Missouri by C.K. Walker   (text)   (narration)

The Well Went Bad on the Pierson Farm by William Dalphin   (text)   (narration)

The Willow Men by Vel    (text)   (narration)

The World’s Best School Psychologist by CreepyCarbs   (text)   (narration)

This is why you should NEVER vaccinate your children by Unsettlingstories   (text)

To Be Human by Andrew Harmon   (narration)

Tulpa   (text)   (narration)

Uncle Gerry’s Family Fun Zone by Red_Grin   (text)   (narration)

When It Rains, Can You Hear the Screaming? by SleepyHollow_101    (text)   (narration)

Wendall Lane Diaries (series) by Vincent V. Cava

You Shouldn’t   (text)   (narration)

The Curious Case of Stephen Haim   (text)   (narration)

By Your Bootstraps   (narration)

Big F’n Roach   (narration)

[truelovedotcom]

The Zodiac Killer - Part 1

During the late 1960s and early 70s, a serial killer by the name of “Zodiac” terrorized Southern California with his mocking letters to the press and terrifying acts of killing.

The “Christmass” Murder

On the cold evening of December 20th, 1968, teenagers Betty Lou Jensen and David Faraday sat in a parked car on Lake Herman Road on the outskirts of Benicia, California. At approximately 11pm, both teenagers were found dead by a gun, bullet holes shot through the vehicle with the female shot dead 5 times on the attempt to run, and the male a few feet away from the car. There were no leads in the investigation.

Fourth of July

It was a warm July 4th night when Darlene Ferrin (22) parked her car in a Blue Rock Springs Michael Mageau (19) in the passenger seat. The pair talked and listened to music before a car pulled up beside them, watching them before soon driving away, A few minutes later, the same car returned, The man parked his vehicle behind Ferrin and Mageau and approached the passenger side, saying nothing and shooting the couple multiple times. Michael Mageau fortunately survived, despite being shot through his face. Darlene Ferrin sadly died on her way to the hospital.

At 12:10am, a 911 dispatcher picked up the first Zodiac phone call. Here is what she heard:

“If you go one mile east on Columbus Parkway to the public park, you will find kids in a brown car hey were shot with a nine millimeter Luger. I also killed those kids last year.” And ended with a very long, taunting “Goodbye”.

The First Letters

On the morning of July 31st, 1969, the Vallejo Times-Herald, the San Fancisco Chronicle and the San Francisco Examiner each received almost identical letters by an unknown person(s) claiming responsibility for the Lake Herman and Fourth of July murders. To prove this, the author stated facts of the crimes only the killer and police know, along with adding each letter a unique cipher for others to solve. The killer stated for the letter and code to be printed for all to see, or he would kill a dozen over the weekend. All of the letters were signatured with a unique symbol, a circle with a cross through it, this soon was known as The Zodiac Symbol.

3 days later, one of the codes were cracked by a History teacher and his wife. It read:

“"I LIKE KILLING PEOPLE BECAUSE IT IS SO MUCH FUN IT IS MORE FUN THAN KILLING WILD GAME IN THE FORREST BECAUSE MAN IS THE MOST DANGEROUE ANAMAL OF ALL TO KILL SOMETHING GIVES ME THE MOST THRILLING EXPERENCE IT IS EVEN BETTER THAN GETTING YOUR ROCKS OFF WITH A GIRL THE BEST PART OF IT IS THAE WHEN I DIE I WILL BE REBORN IN PARADICE AND THEI HAVE KILLED WILL BECOME MY SLAVES I WILL NOT GIVE YOU MY NAME BECAUSE YOU WILL TRY TO SLOI DOWN OR ATOP MY COLLECTIOG OF SLAVES FOR MY AFTERLIFE EBEORIETEMETHHPITI" 

[purplesurveys]

1206

surveys by xmusicdudettex

#1

How many people close to you have passed away? I’ve had many relatives who’ve passed away; they all meant a lot, of course, but as for the ones I had been truly close with, I can think of 6. There’s also Nacho, so that’s 7 in total.

Did you ever have the wild experience of having insane next-door neighbors? Yeah we used to have neighbors that had these really rowdy, terribly-behaved teenage kids who often brought their equally noisy friends over. That wasn’t a fun time and I was so relieved when they moved out.

Have you ever been taken to the emergency room or urgent care? If so, why? Nah. I’ve been confined once but it wasn’t an emergency situation.

Have you ever had to visit anyone in the hospital? Nope. I mean, there have been situations where a loved one had had to stay in the hospital but our parents never took us with them when they visited.

Have you ever had any near-death experiences? I wouldn’t say so. I had that one horrible near-car accident while driving to school a few years back, but I don’t think it would’ve been it for me if it actually happened. My car would’ve totally been wrecked, though.

What are your fears? Are we talking petty fears or long-term ones? Anyway, I hate cockroaches and I’m also afraid of being left alone in the future.

How well do you manage under stressful situations? I was terrible at it at first and was always prone to breakdowns. But since my job has such a high-pressure nature to begin with changes happening every minute, I’ve become more used to stressful situations.

Do you tend to bottle things up inside or can you open up? I bottle them up and just wait for the moment that I can’t take it anymore to finally cry and break down.

What is the most pain (physical, mental, emotional) you've ever felt? Physical: Either my snorkeling injury or my fever from last year where I felt like a literal living corpse.

Mental/Emotional: That brief period of time last year where I dealt with fresh graduate existential crisis, unemployment, and a breakup all at once.

Have your past experiences changed you as a person? For sure. I have a completely different mindset and approach to things now thanks to stuff I had to go through.

Do you believe that you can grow from your past experiences? Yes.

What is the longest time you've spent crying? A whole night.

How do you relieve your negative feelings? I don’t, really. Sometimes crying and acknowledging my sadness can be the healthiest thing to do. But if it’s manageable, I find relief from trying to do things that make me happy.

Have you ever had to deal with suicide in any way, shape, or form? Yuh.

Has anyone ever broken your trust? Yes.

If so, did it damage your ability to trust anyone at all? I wouldn’t say at all but it’s been considerably damaged.

Have you ever been stolen from? No.

Have you ever grown apart from someone? Yeah. Some have been for the best; some just happened naturally so I feel mostly indifferent about the drifting apart.

Have you ever had a best friend move away? Yes, when my two best friends moved to different countries at roughly the same period.

Are you generally a happy, sad, mad, or apathetic person? Happy with a dash of apathetic, hahaha.

Have you ever been in a fight? ??? Of course?

Did you ever run away from home? No but as an angsty teenager/the trouble child, I definitely had these thoughts. Looking back at it now, it’s hilarious how rebellious I felt but still had the self-awareness that I had absolutely nowhere to go to if I did run away lol

Do you have any unstable or rocky relationships with anyone? Yeah, this is me and my mom for the most part.

Have you ever had to cut someone out of your life for your own good? Yes.

Have you ever had to call 911? If you'd like to share the story, feel free. No, I don’t think we have that service here because Philippines.

Have you ever been seriously threatened? I don’t think so.

Have you ever had any serious injuries? Yep, the aforementioned snorkeling injury had been pretty rough.

Has anything you've ever been through changed you negatively? Possibly, but I always try to focus on how I’ve grown from situations.

Have you ever been in the hospital? If so, what for? I have. Something that we thought had been dengue but was (thankfully?) just a low platelet count.

What is the longest you have been sick for? A week and a half.

Are you ready to reclaim your life and take back what's yours? I’m getting there.

#2

What is the song for your life right now? Lost by BTS.

Do you believe that when you die, you get to see all your loved ones again? When it comes down to it I don’t believe in an afterlife, but nonetheless this is a very comforting thought to stay in.

Who would you be the most excited to see? My grandfather and my dogs.

Have you lost, or almost lost, someone close to you to death this year? I lost 3 of them within the same month.

Did you lose any of your friends this year? If so, how? Gabie, though she really hasn’t been my friend in a while; I just decided to absolutely pull the plug this year. Cut off all ties, deleted all photos and videos.

Have you experienced anything new this year? If so, what? I got into K-Pop hahahahahahahahaahahaaahahaAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Do you enjoy reading National Geographic magazines? No only because I don’t really get to encounter them. I’d definitely read one if I found one lying around, though.

Have you ever been to a ghost town? Hmm, I don’t think so.

Have you ever been white water rafting? I have not.

Do you enjoy meeting new and interesting people? Yes, especially those who have been through a lot in life and have a lot of fascinating stories to tell.

Would you rather read the book or watch the movie? Watch the movie.

Do you enjoy doing crossword puzzles and/or word searches? Love word searches, crossword puzzles not so much.

Do you know anyone who is serving in the military right now? No, not personally.

Does/did either of your parents serve in the military? Neither of them did/do.

Has anything in your house ever caught on fire? No.

Have you ever been inside of a vacant house? We used to spend weekends in our current home back when it was already fully constructed, but we still didn’t have the means to fill it up with furniture. We spent some time here so my mom could keep the place clean, but it had been entirely devoid of any furniture or appliance then.

Have you ever been attacked by a dog? Nope.

Have you ever hugged a stranger you thought was someone else? I’ve mistakenly held a stranger’s hand as a kid, but I don’t think I’ve gone all the way and hugged the wrong person.

As a small child, did you ever feel as if you were different or weird? Yes. Because I had a name perceived to be masculine and because my mom loved to keep my hair painfully short throughout my entire childhood.

Is it easy for you to see when someone's lying? Eh, sometimes. Some people are still effortlessly good at lying.

Did you ever cut your own hair when you were little? No.

Are you able to handle small amounts of sleep? I can now. I used not to but these days I usually run on 4-5 hours of sleep.

If you could instantly know any language in the world, what would it be? Korean pls.

What is the most disgusting thing you've ever seen? In person? Hmm. Probably roadkill, even though I feel bad saying it.

Do you get stage fright? Sometimes. It comes and goes.

How old were you when you learned how to read? I was around 4 or 5.

This year, how many times have you been to the doctor? Zero.

[laresearchette]

Tuesday, November 05, 2019 Canadian TV Listings (Times Eastern)

WHERE CAN I FIND THOSE PREMIERES?: ANY ONE OF US (HBO Canada) 9:00pm WELCOME TO PLATHVILLE (TLC Canada) 10:00pm RUNNING WILD WITH BEAR GRYLLS (Nat Geo Canada) 10:00pm THE PROFIT (CNBC Canada) 10:00pm BOTCHED (E! Canada) (Actually premiered on November 04 at 10:00pm, but will air again on November 10 at 6:00pm)

WHAT IS NOT PREMIERING IN CANADA TONIGHT     THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF DISNEY: THE LITTLE MERMAID LIVE! (ABC Feed) FAMOUSLY AFRAID (TBD)

NEW TO AMAZON PRIME/CRAVE/NETFLIX CANADA/CBC GEM:

NETFLIX CANADA THE END OF THE F***ING WORLD (Season 2) GIANTS OF AFRICA SETH MEYERS: LOBBY BABY SHE-RA AND THE PRINCESSES OF POWER (Season 4) TUNE IN FOR LOVE

JAMIE & JIMMY’S FOOD FIGHT CLUB (CBC) 5:00pm (SEASON 3 PREMIERE): Childhood friends Jamie Oliver and Jimmy Doherty present a selection of feasts for the weekend.

CHL HOCKEY (SN/SN360) 7:00pm: Russia vs. QMJHL

NHL HOCKEY (TSN5) 7:00pm: Sens at Islanders (TSN2) 7:30pm: Bruins at Habs (TSN4) 7:30pm: Kings at Leafs (TSN3) 8:00pm: Devils at Jets (SNWest) 9:00pm: Coyotes at Flames (SNPacific) 10:00pm: Blues at Canucks

STILL STANDING (CBC) 8:00pm: Harbour Grace has been the launch pad of Amelia Earhart and one of the most prosperous towns in NL; the town is littered with impressive, yet crumbling monuments, landmarks that are now being recognized as the key to the town's economic future.ago; the former mill town is now touting it's world-class hiking, climbing and fishing.

HUDSON & REX (City) 8:00pm: As Charlie and Rex head into the woods to track a missing photographer, a mysterious organization throws the investigation off its trail.

22 MINUTES (CBC) 8:30pm: A possible change of leadership for the Conservatives; Quebec values; MP school is in session; Greg Thomey returns.

TALLBOYZ (CBC) 9:00pm: A specialized hospital unit faces its toughest case yet; a man deals with afterlife bureaucracy; the TallBoyz learn Franco's dark past.

HOLMES 911 (CTV Life) 9:00pm: At The Half Done House, Mike shows the homeowners all the issues discovered during the demo; the apprentices work on the fireplace in The Toxic Townhouse; Michael and Derek get ready to return a healthy home back to Lana and Chris.

ULTIMATE SURVIVAL WWII (Nat Geo Canada) 9:00pm (SERIES PREMIERE):  Hazen Audel takes on swamps, caves and deadly predators as he retraces the treacherous journey of 11 U.S. soldiers who fled a prisoner-of war-camp in the Philippines.

BARONESS VON SKETCH SHOW (CBC) 9:30pm: No one wants to be a gay cliche; after 40, you're gonna want to exclusively drink white wine; a fierce manicure.

THE CURSE OF OAK ISLAND (History Canada) 10:00pm: The Top 25 Moments You Never Saw: A look back on some of the moments from the last six seasons that have never been seen leading up to the start of Season 7.

THE BRIGADE: RACE TO THE HUDSON (Cottage Life) 10:00pmHeading into the first portage, the brigade tests their strength and skill in a dangerous face-off with the swift current on the Columbia River.

FUTURE HISTORY (Documentary) 10:30pm:  Kris and Sarain visit Adrianne Lickers Xavier at Six Nations Farmers Market; Bob Goulais talks about Sacred Law in Lake Nippissing; Sarain and Kris try some Indigenous cuisine prepared by chef Joseph Shawana.

HELLFIRE HEROES (Discovery Canada) 10:00pm:  In Slave Lake, black ice turns Highway 2 into a death trap; in Yellowhead County, volunteer firefighters stop a fully engulfed trailer fire from spreading to the woods; in Port Alberni, a four-man crew juggles two life-threatening calls.