#the adults are trying to encourage it
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Saved a swallow fledgling from being wedged in a storm grate yesterday. Lil dude was tuckered out!! I put him outside the next morning when i knew the parents would be out and flying and he immediately started chirping for them 🥺
#that being said i did watch him before leaving for work#tried to fly and then hit a garage and fell down#the adults are trying to encourage it#then the fucking neighborhood stray cat came around and i had to chase her out#lil dude flew again but hit another wall this time in a diff area so i couldnt get to it#im hoping the parents keep him safe :((((#vai says#birbs
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today I ended 28 years of abuse.
I packed my stuff and walked in and out of my childhood home for the last time.
And im pressing charges.
wanted to add the pictures of the sunset I took today ☀️
#I’m so scared for this next chapter of my life and I’ve never been more ready#I’m proud of myself#I will never have to deal with this again#thank you to god or universe is who have put good people in my corner to help me with the next steps and my new life#tickle community#ticklee#tickletorture#tickle thoughts#tickle tickle#tickle#tickle content#ticklish#tword community#non tickles#also I’ve lived with partners before I have not lived there most of my adult life but my parents abuse continued and they allowed#and encouraged my serious partners to abuse me as well#I would try to leave and be forced to go back into abusive situations#this is the first time I’m actually free#I paid my first months rent today and I get my keys on Friday#this is so unreal
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I just need to be told "You Can Do It" right now.
#I've gotten about 3 hours of sleep within the last 48 hours and I'm still behind in my classes#I don't know how I'm supposed to keep up at this point#Just grinding constantly for hours every waking moment of my life#I'm stuck wondering the same things#'When will it slow down?'... 'Will it actually ever slow down?'#If it doesn't i don't think i can keep up#Full time in college and full time in work#However#every time i try to speak my troubles or stress to someone they just chuckle#and ignore me saying ''well college is like that. welcome to the adult world''#Why does college have to be like this? why is everyone so fine with this?#I'm very unmotivated right now#My grades are all low despite the numerous 100%s I've been getting#And they're not going back up no matter how many A+ s I get on assignments#I don't like talking to people - it scares me terribly#So i don't like it when I'm constantly forced to talk to over 10 people every time i go to school (talk to your professor they say#I like to think of my job at my second home#at least that's not too hard and i love the people#But I just need things to get less intense school-wise#Just for me to get a decent amount of sleep please#Just a little bit#Please#i don't know#I'm not going on hiatus no worries#I love my blog dearly and cannot abandon it for my mental health#I just need encouragement#Because I'm so tired#Sorry for the rant I hate to vent#I'll delete this later if i remember#💬
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I’m normally all for parents giving their kids freedom in their life choices and I’m also all for kids wanting to try and experiment with things to express themselves but if you buy your kid who’s not even 16 expensive beauty products or take them to get waxed before they’re even a fully grown adult I am. side-eyeing you tbh
#listen if kids want to do that shit let them but DONT FUCKING ENCOURAGE THEM#let them figure it out for themselves let it feel like a novel secret to them idc#beauty standards are a curse on humanity and adults who validate them to their kids need help#like it’s healthy for kids to be curious and want to try things obviously. even if this is a very slippery slope#but let them understand all the baggage that comes with it. let them save up to try these things don’t feed it to them on a platter#at the very least let them ask you first don’t go prompt them without volition#if kids like makeup let them like it because it’s novel and fun and a way of expressing themselves#not something they can’t live without#anti beauty culture#anti makeup
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My mom is always like "you were suchhh an easy kid compared to your brothers, you didn't even cry the first night home from the hospital it was so weird. I never had to worry about you since I knew you could handle yourself" meanwhile I as a kid always felt like
#its also funny bc then she acts surprised when i dont know how to do things#'i learned how to drive at 14' okay well you didnt teach me#'my friends taught me' okay well i didnt have friends because my social skills fucking sucked.#at this point i know its on me that i let my anxiety control my life im not even blaming that on her#sibce i am an adult capable of making changes#since*#but when she says stuff like this it makes my eye twitch#i try not to resent my brothers (esp my younger brother) for this#but kinda sucks they got more attentiveness to their developmental issues than i did#two younger brothers on the spectrum and older brother with speech issues and dyslexia#i started anti anxiety meds in senior year of high school but thats it. and wasnt bc of her noticing my anxiety disorder#personal#also i know people usually reply these things trying to be encouraging but i dont really like when others talk badly about my mom#so dont do that please
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okay sorry my cannon is that riz is now arcane trickster because of penny.
she canonically will text him things when she’s doing research so he can learn (the seven ep where she sends him info on eidolons ‘not asking for help, just so he can learn’).
riz just wants to be his babysitters bestie fr, it’s not realllyy a stretch to say she would have shown him the cool abilities she has and he learned them.
(also dead dad angel magic, but mainly Penny Luckstone 🫶)
#fantasy high junior year#fhjy spoilers#riz gukgak#he would’ve been pacing for DAYYSS trying to decide whether or not he should switch subclasses.#idk if subclasses are canonically known in spyre#but the teachers/adults always say they encourage ppl to multi class and they have diff subjects for classes so like they probably have#subclass knowledge
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Okay, but Halsin, Jaheira, Minthara, and Astarion all taking one look at an Elf dark urge and immediately going "I can influence that"
So all 4 of the older Elves in the party end up being like a divorced couple that can't agree on how to raise their kid.
#dark urge#i know durge is an adult and the other elves recognize them as at least being physically an adult#but considering lore surrounding bhaal I headcanon durge to be between 35-50 at the oldest#and without memories to give them experiences to base things on when making choices#i could see the older elves and half elves trying to guide them#only astarion and minthara are encouraging violence#and halsin and jaheira are trying to nudge them toward good decisions#and it is a full out war trying to get a single Elf with amnesia to do what each of the 4 thinks is best for them#like nudge nudge I am 200 years older than you and wiser we should kill the clown#or hey trust me you want to befriend the displacer beast trying to eat your face. she is a part of nature “)#astarion over there trying to convince them to rob a temple#and jaheira is giving advice on how to raise kids only we know how Jaheira is with her own kids so the advice probably sucks#astarion#halsin#minthara#jaheira#baldurs gate 3
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why do ppl keep assuming us politicans have so much power in israel exactly. at the end of the day they dont exactly get a say in whats to happen if israel or hamas doesnt want to comply.
#'ceasefire now' except hamas keeps declining a ceasefire bc god forbid they dont have more of their favorite terrorists#bc its not about getting home palestinian civilians its about getting home more ppl who want to make more israelis lives miserable#since a big thing for hamas is specifically hating jewish ppl and wanting to kill them all. which IS clear as day genocidal intent.#also its antithetical to their goals- they dont give af if palestinians die. they encourage it. it makes them look more sympathetic#literally how many times do we gotta point at the video of the leader saying its a good thing like#HOW CAN YOU DENY THIS#with all this in mind- what in the actual fuck are you expecting us politicians to do? what kind of power do you think they have here?#this is a conflict between two countries miles across the sea. its not a conflict between the US and some other country its two other#countries we dont have control over. if hamas wants more palestinians to die so they can get their Very Important Terrorist Friends Back#then what is to be done? if israel cant bring itself to compromise on this because of the very valid fucking fear of releasing *more*#terrorists who want to kill them all- what is to be done? what do you honest to god think kamala or joe can fuckin do?#its like two adults bullying eachother and you're an onlooker- you can try all you want to resolve the conflict but if they cant do it at#all between eachother for valid or not reasons then wtf are you expected to do?#and then all the people around you who've decided you have the power somehow to fix this are yelling at you for not fixing it#when you never had the power over this situation to fuckin begin with!
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you know i'm also glad i was able to be a long-term sub for a para at the middle school for the last few weeks of the last school year bc once people's typical college semester ended, getting jobs in the sub management software fucking sucked. all these fuckin college kids popped outta nowhere and crept into every corner and everything was like you had to grab it as soon as possible, which is also just the worst bc like, summer is around the corner and that's 2 months where i don't get to earn that regular income.
and i have an odd resentment for the college kids who sub for that short gap between may and june and i dont know why. is it jealousy? is that a proper word for it? morally i know they are doing NOTHING wrong, and if anything they are doing good bc they're ACTUALLY WORKING!!!! like the sub shortages for the rest of the school year is fucking crazy. the few ppl who actually do show up to sub on a regular basis (AKA old retired teachers and me) get pulled in every which way and frequently don't even get a full half-hour break. i guess i just feel like, it must be nice for that job to be a convenient short-term thing for them. bc it's not, for me.
perhaps i feel some sort of pride in being useful and reliable at my shitty little unglamorous poorly-paid job in a public school district. perhaps i do. where were you college students in the dead of february right before the winter break week and peak flu season? huh? where were you? in your DORMITORIES? i bet. well i was here. in the hall
#spongebob hall monitor voice: IN THE HALL!#tales from diana#i don't know i guess there's also an aspect of: usually i am the youngest adult in the building#and i am not very far from their age group (but rapidly growing out of it hahahahaha 25 cries)#but i don't relate to their situation at all#i have student loans from community college i'm paying and i'm trying tentatively to finish my bachelor's#little by little#idk it's easy for me to feel like typical 4-year college students are unrelatable to me#i resent the normative expectations of higher education so much#i don't like being grouped in w them#ppl i chat w at work year-round are generally pretty familiar w me and know that that's my thing#what even is subbing to you if you do it like 3 weeks a year right before summertime?#do you even feel like that's a job?#or is it as serious to you as like. running a lemonade stand? it's just a quick gig?#nothing against quick gigs in fact i would encourage more ppl to just take up subbing to *try*#bc they could be very helpful to their local community#i got one of my friends who was curious about it to try it very briefly. he decided not to come back LOL#but he tried it! which i have to respect#so why do i hate the college students? oh idk. maybe theyre just ugly buttfaces
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Is it just me or has there been an increase of self-admited minors in fandom spaces on tumblr even though the source material is rated mature or even explicit??
I mean... at least back when I was younger we had the decency to lie?? Like, we knew we were intruding if we entered an adult space and did our best to not let anyone know. And now I see kids just walking in there like they own the space?????
#Not trying to encourage any minor from entering an adult space regardless#There is a reason for age restrictions trust me it WILL affect you later#I'm just... shocked... at the audacity#And a lot of them are puritans entering dead dove fandoms#literally already seen bunch of kids bullying adults out of their own spaces wtf#minors dni#fanfic#dark fic#dead dove do not eat#yandere
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Lily Orchard's fans are vile cunts too
Take that vulnerability horseshit and shove it up your fucking ass, you piece of shit. Go on and fucking side with the goddamn molestor. This isn't about fucking cartoons.
Fuck. You.
#sage rambles#fuck lily orchard#I know I sound so fucking angry here#but honestly#after all the shit ive seen#after encouraging people to look into it all#after trying to be nice to this person#he spits it back in my face#im done being nice to lily orchard stans#y'all can suffer#and i hope you are so fucking content with defending her#an abuser and a molestor#none of you should feel safe or happy#you clearly have never been preyed on by adults#fuck you#fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you#tw - csa#tw - rape#tw - abuse#tw - abuse apologia
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Sorority girl rushtok rant
#I'm so irrationally angry about the bamamorgan situation#as an active sister (i also hold relevant director positions and have been on recruitment member selection and director/exec selection#committees) in a much smaller and more relax led chapter than any of bamas we would have still be cautious about extending a bid to her#her fanbase is so emotionally involved in her sorority success (like a bunch of 35-50 year olds went to walk around the old row houses in#the summer these are literally just fancy dorms which is so creepy) like you don't want to be living with and partying with and doing phil#with someone who is giving reports to the tiktok moms#like as sisters we are constantly told to be careful about what we post that is related to the org and in these big chapters EVERYTHING you#post is considered a reflection so you shouldn't be calling certain houses top tier (because zta and phi mu wouldn't have been kind to her)#and It's really frustrating to see her continue to milk the situation by posting what she would have worn each day#like it's encouraging her fans to go harrass sisters in all orgs!!#also she rushed last year and turned down the bid she got from a “bottom tier” org#she's not going to get a COB bid because everyone knows her and there's a very limited number of non-first years allowed in#like i feel bad for her but this process works the way it does so you aren't desperately trying to find a place in a chapter that didn't#want you it's called running home for a reason#also the tiktok sorority moms/aunts need to stop constantly talking about greek life#it makes it so much more awkward for our social media teams knowing their ideas are now discussion pieces for women still angry about being#rejected as young adults
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my problem lately is that i’ve been writing but not finishing anything so if anyone has ideas they wanna see written that can be made into a short ficlet/ask-fic, feel free to lmk
#sometimes it’s more fun to write other people’s ideas because i get sick of my own 30093847288483 projects ahahahHAHA#zhuiling encouraged but not required#i have a bigger connection with writing the juniors than the adults btw so just a heads up#ideas also don’t need to be romantic i fucking love writing friendship FR#and only write aspec so no smut sorry#mdzs universe only bc i’ve never written for anything else and it’s too scary rn LOL#apple babble 🍎#also warning that koi koi is definitely gonna respond to this and hijack my ask box so if you want something written#try to ask before she wakes up lmFAO
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New mantras: "My intelligence is not based on people's (perceived) assumptions of my knowledge." And "I have value beyond my intellect."
#screaming into the void#every so often i'm confronted with the knowledge that the adults in my childhood hung my self-worth on my intelligence for me#i was taught that i was naturally smart and given very little to no support beyond#empty encouraging statements and urges to try harder#which has led to an ongoing identity crisis because i'm not actually the hyper intelligent person i was promised id be#learning has become scary because im a failure and a disappointment if its not easy or if i cant 'prove' i know a thing#i wasnt supported beyond being called smart so now i dont know how to support myself in learning#and not feeling smart is inherently triggering#messy thoughts#im struggling to maintian a line of thought just ignore me
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Also while I was sick I painted an octopus. he is jiang themed for my convenience.
#my girlfriend got me art supplies for Christmas and I really need to figure out how to use them#I have oil paints now! ive never used oil paints in my life#and I fear them#I have like three different kinds of water colours and ive only ever used the little cakes people give you when you're a kid#the thing about me and painting is that I'm so bad at it I can't tell how bad I am#I get writer's block because my taste exceeds my abilities by a considerable margin#not so the visual arts#how does light work? what shading?#i made an octopus!!! he has freckles#highly encourage all adults to try things they're miserably bad at#the delight is stored in the incompetence
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I see sonic fankids being really popular and I can't help but think about the fact that hedgehogs are among the cute woodland animal species that are really likely to eat their newborns when faced with any stressors.
It's not so much a moral choice as a survival instinct, but as a lover of the symbolism and potential ideas that can go into a piece about a meat rabbit eating her young because she will not give the farmer more of her flesh, I can't help but think about those implications and the potential.
#cw infanticide#cw cannibalism#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#sth#sonic fankid#I know i have such nice and sweet and normal ideas#I want people to know that I love working with kids and adults and helping them as best I can#Not enough people are encouraged and appreciated simply for being alive and trying#and this idea comes from the dehumanization the pro life movement pushes onto living people. animals have this choice#why must we be slaves to another simply because they depend on us? Why is a new soul worth more than one that has grown?#why are we worth less just because we are marked by time and they are not?#reproductive rights and all that#if fox news see this haiiiii i know youll take me out of context. i totally want to eat babies that is what i am saying youre so right
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