#also i know people usually reply these things trying to be encouraging but i dont really like when others talk badly about my mom

[freakoutgirl]

My mom is always like "you were suchhh an easy kid compared to your brothers, you didn't even cry the first night home from the hospital it was so weird. I never had to worry about you since I knew you could handle yourself" meanwhile I as a kid always felt like

[nonexistent-introvert]

Seat Partners 3

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x f!reader

Word Count: 1.5k

Content: Miguel being blunt, some apologies, and the overall study date. also flirty banter and Miguel letting his guard down

A/N: HELLO IM BACK. i wrote the front part like a month and more ago then continued it so if things dont connect as well im sorry, im kinda rusty when it comes to writing but ik if i procrastinated anymore ill never get back to writing. Also, idrk where im going with this series so... if anyone has any ideas...

part 1 part 2

   The one thing that both you and Miguel can agree on when it comes to the library is that the study corner seats were the best. Those seats faced a giant window that showcased the streets outside and if you stayed long enough, would be rewarded with the breathtaking views of the sunset. Miguel was pleasantly surprised to see you make a beeline for those seats, most people tend to prefer the seats that were situated in the middle of the library since it was closer to the books and more facilitated group study sessions. 

   “I don’t study anywhere else other than here. If these seats were taken then you would never see me in here.” You whispered to Miguel when you noticed his gaze. He chuckled, “It’s my favorite seat too.” he replied. “Good view and people can’t distract me here.” He added on. “Ok mr popular.” You teased. Miguel has his fair share of admirers who would admire him whenever he is in the same room as any of them. Some even seem to turn into complete mush when he’s around. Miguel had a strong presence, a presence that demanded people’s admiration and respect. You had a weaker presence, someone who wouldn’t be noticed at first glance so you had zero trouble when it comes to being distracted because of someone’s gaze on you. Miguel shook his head, refusing to argue with you as he pulled out his revision materials, eager to consolidate his learning for the week. The silence in the library especially at this section of the library where most people were studying alone and the overall atmosphere was enough to motivate you to start studying too. The heads buried in books, the sound of pages flipping, and the sound of pens moving against the table acted as a sort of peer pressure to get anyone to start studying. 

  Your first study session with Miguel started. The both of you would do your own things, his eyes would fall onto your work every once in a while to check up on you and give you a few nods of encouragement. You picked up your phone, using it to search something up when you felt Miguel’s gaze on you. “I’m not using my phone I swear! I’m just checking something.” You defended immediately, noticing the disapproving look in his eyes. “I haven’t even said anything yet.” He merely replied, glancing over your shoulder and to your phone. You pursed your lips at him, “Actions speak louder than words you know?” He gave you a small smile. “Just making sure,” He leans back into his own seat. “Did I not mention that I would be your Google? Ask me anything you aren’t sure of.” Miguel repeats his words from the earlier lessons. “It’s a stupid question, common sense.” You shrugged, writing down the information on Google. Miguel crossed his arms over his chest, “If it’s common sense then why did you have to google it?” Miguel meant to encourage you to ask him questions you had but it seemed to have had a negative impact on you instead. “I’m an idiot that’s why.” You replied without missing a beat. The usual humour and playfulness in your voice are non-existent. The grip on your pen tightened while you put in more pressure to write the next few words. Miguel pinched his nose bridge, realising that you had interpreted his words the wrong way. “Ay coño” He muttered under his breath. “I didn’t mean-” He turned to you, trying to explain himself only to be cut off by a sheer “Never mind.” He opened his mouth to make his stand known but closed his mouth, realising that you had long shut yourself off towards him, the small furrow in between your eyebrows was enough to tell him that you didn’t want to continue that conversation any longer. 

  The air between the both of you shifted after that, at least it did for Miguel. There was tension in the air that Miguel just couldn’t ignore, he was arguing with himself over the matter of if he should explain his words. The words in the textbook were a blur to Miguel when every sentence he read would be interrupted by his inner turmoil and the regret weighing on his shoulders. So instead, he just kept sneaking glances at you, trying to see if you were in a better mood now. 

   He let out a sigh, running his hands through his hair as he bent over to pick up his bag, knowing that he would just be wasting his time in the library until he cleared his name. Miguel quickly found what he was looking for, a small pack of grape-flavoured chewy candy that he knew you liked. The same ones he saw you sneakily eating in class, the smell of grapes lingering on your breath when you talked to him was enough to give you away. Miguel told himself that it was because he wanted to try it when he decided to buy it upon seeing it in the convenience store despite refusing your various offers of the candy. Deep down, Miguel knew it was because you liked it, and he knew that it would cheer you up. Although he hasn’t found a way to offer it to you yet, he had imagined the smile on your face when he would take the initiative to give it to you. Miguel carefully placed it onto the table, pasting a post-it note onto the candy packaging with a single word on it. “Sorry.” and a small hand-drawn sad face next to it. Miguel exhaled, giving himself encouragement as he leaned over to you again. Miguel gently nudged your shoulder and passed you the candy, quickly returning to his work to hide how nervous he truly was. 

  A smile quickly replaced the confusion on your face. “For what?” You asked, referring to the apology. Miguel’s face burned with a light flush, “The words sounded better in my head, sorry, I meant that you can ask me any questions. You don’t have to necessarily turn to Google.” he slowly trailed off, stuffing his hands into the black jacket that he was wearing. You noticed the discomfort he was feeling at that moment. “You’re tempting me with the candy, no eating in the library.” You reminded him. Miguel looked to his left and then to his right, he sat straighter up in his seat. “Just eat one, and I’ll cover you.” His eyes drifted to the ceilings, looking for any surveillance cameras. You chuckled at him, “Miguel O’Hara! What happened to you abiding by the rules?” You jokingly teased him, knowing that he didn’t indulge in your offers of candy in class. “Hurry.” He simply says, head turning in all directions to keep watch. 

    The sweet familiar taste of grapes in your mouth made you hum happily. You kept looking at Miguel, a small smile forming on your lips. Seeing the smile on your face seemed to lift the guilt off his heart. 

   “You’re staring.” You laughed at him as you chewed on the candy. Miguel snaps out of his daze, turning away from you and back to his textbooks. A faint blush tinted his cheeks. You leaned back on your chair, “Have one.” You offered once again. He clicked his tongue at you, “No thank you.” Miguel busied himself with his notes, still avoiding your gaze. “Why did you buy it if you’re not even going to try it?” You questioned him. Your eyes narrowed at him, “Unless… you were planning on giving it to me already?” Miguel’s eyes snapped to yours, his eyes widened as he snatched the candy from your hand. Miguel cleared his throat as he popped one candy into his mouth. “Why are you looking at me like that?” Miguel asked, noticing the amused look on your face. Your eyes slowly drifted to the surveillance camera. You snickered when you watched the colour drain from his face. 

   “You’re such a bad influence.”

   “It’s called having some fun.” You retorted. 

 =======

    “You’re awfully quiet,” Miguel muttered. You walked next to him, your eyes distracted by the city lights in Nueva York. “Mmm, drained. My brain’s fried.” He chuckled lightly, “But don’t you feel productive?” You shook your head, Miguel seemed more energized than usual, more relaxed, unlike him in class. “Why do you seem less grumpy?” His signature frown returned immediately, “I am not grumpy.” You rolled your eyes at him, “Please do not tell me studying energizes you.” “Feeling productive energizes me.” He corrects. “Workaholic, no lifer, nerd.” You call him names, and he simply chuckles.

    “I hate studying.” You told him. He hums, “Doesn’t take Sherlock to figure that out.” You shoved him lightly. “I can’t believe my first time studying with someone was with you, I never ever study with my friends.” You complained, he snickers. “Wow, I’m your first?” He gave you a teasing look.

   “Don’t make it sound weird.” Miguel bites back the smile on his face. “Well, I hope you had fun on our first- study date,” he announced. You looked at him, laughing sarcastically in his face. “This is the reason why you’re single, if this is what you consider a date, let me tell you, it's horrible.” He shrugs, “That’s what you say for now, but you will keep coming back for more.” he says confidently. 

[ghostlyvoidshark]

Hnnnghhdhdh thoughts of the sillies forever haunts me. Someone please worsen my brainrot I need to write something. The words wont word right but im trying.

The best I have right now is thinking about how the skelebois would react to someone with tourette-syndrome (because I have it and self indulgence in creative works is great.)

Please let me know your ideas and stuff about this and if you want more guys with other stuff or more reacting to this!

Sans

Very patient with you and honestly would probably not care unless something is timed funny / a silly response. I personally wouldn't be offended and would probably laugh at myself too. Like something happens - maybe he made a comment about something like the price of a ketchup bottle and you reply with a tic like "yippee" and you both end up snorting. Maybe it even becomes an inside joke. "How cheap is it?" / "dont worry its yippee certified."

Wouldn't ever antagonize your tics. He may joke (after a convo about boundaries and if youre genuinely okay with jokes) but he doesnt echo you / encourage you to tic for humors sake or anything else.

He doesn't personally understand tics and how it feels to do it but he understands pain and would 100% be there to help you out when / if you have painful tics. If you allow it he'll get you soothing items and distract you if it will help. Just let him know and he's got you.

If you develop a tic related to him he'll lowkey find it endearing. Like he isn't sure if its because you like him or if it's just a coincidence but he smiles a bit wider when you do it. (Stars help him if you develop a pun related tic like repeating his or saying one)

I usually have happy tics (probs something tied to stimming but it feels like a tic.) So i can imagine if you tell him the related tic is because youre happy he would melt on the inside. Especially when he realizes you echo him because you think hes funny. He has buried his face in a pillow to hide his blush after you leave. Papyrus has teased him for this.

Has on occasion made people uncomfortable for antagonizing you. Like glaring or making pointed jokes to rude people. He'll try to call them out first just in case they don't realize they're being harmful but if they don't care then He'll make them.

Papyrus

"ARE YOU OKAY?"

"Yeah, its just -" *explains tourettes*

"OH! OKAY! :] "

Literally as simple as that. He doesn't draw anymore attention to it or really notice it unless you bring it up. Like he just writes it off as a thing that happens and adjusts quick.

If you're okay with it he'll inform people you have it when they get confused. He figures it must be tiring constantly explaining yourself, but worry not! He loves sharing information and explaining things! Especially when its helpful! Not to mention when the topic can educate others on how to be more respectful and informed on others disabilities. So he sees it as an all around good thing and wouldnt be bothered at all to help. (Also he isnt going to just announce this about you, only saying things in convo if ppl ask)

Also, even if you prefer he not say anything, he will educate himself on the subject so he can be a better help and have a better understanding just in case the subject ever comes up later or he meets someone else with tics. It also doesn't hurt to be aware and conscious of these types of things!

I feel like he's respectful enough to let you finish your sentences but if you struggle really hard he might try to help. He'd gently ask a question about what youre trying to say and suggest words to help. He wont do it again if you ask him to stop - hes not doing it maliciously after all. He just doesn't want you to feel frustrated with yourself.

Is a tiny bit (actually very much) hyped when you echo him or have a tic related to him. He asks if its a good thing (like not a stress tic or smth) and if you say yes then he kinda taps his feet / jogs in place and squeals like an exited fan. Says soemthing along the lines of "I AM HONORED TO BE A PART OF SOMETHING YOU DO TO EXPRESS POSITIVE EMOTIONS!"

Awe and if you copy his laugh? Like echoing it when you're happy or smth he is beaming with pride like he's the sun itself. Because!! His laugh!!! It makes you happy and you want to do it with him!!! Kcjdjsns

Actually surprisingly (or not so surprisingly) helpful with painful tics and tic attacks. He is very good at getting you what you need to soothe you / make things less painful and stressful.

Would lecture someone for antagonizing you.

Red

Unusually patient with you finishing sentences and stuff. He kinda just sees any stutters or interruptions as part of the sentence. Like if someone were to get sidetracked or mutter something - he sees it like that. Sometimes he gets frustrated if you struggle to say something for a bit but its not at you. Its at the fact that he isn't getting what you mean when you try to explain without the troublesome word or if you continue to try to say it and it doesn't click in his head.

His immediate reaction is to side eye you but he doesn't make a big deal out of it. He'll probably comment on it like "you gettin' possessed?" But after you explain hes like "oh." And backs off. Might make some jokes before even processing that it could be offensive. Like not jokes about you being broken or negative stuff (hes trying not to be so rough around the edges lol) but just puns about the tics and jokes about glitches or something.

Probably would be the most ... "normal" about it. Wouldn't really ignore them or treat it like its a sensitive topic. Will point out when its funny (in a non harmful way), asks about them sometimes, and makes small comments here and there. For example if you make a weird gesture he'll tease you about it saying stuff like "castin' spells?" Or "I agree" to something you said that makes no sense.

Never thinks to antagonize your tics. Like yeah, he jokes, but he just doesnt think about it or think to avoid it. He just doesnt.

Gives mean looks and snaps at people who do it. He'll be nonchalant about it at first like "hey man, fuck off with that." But if they keep on he'll get more aggressive.

Kinda awkward with the painful ones at first. He thinks you probably just want to get through it and move on because pain isn't something normally expressed for him so he kinda just subtly goes easy on you without really drawing attention to it. If you express it more openly and/or he gets more comfortable he will try to help you out. He understands having aches and pains from things you can't really help (like wounds and scars) so he'll try to apply what he knows and what you tell him helps.

Grim

A little impatient but tries his best to be polite. He understand its not your fault, and he doesnt blame you for any irritation he has, he just gets antsy when things arent efficient. (Hes working on it.) At least he doesnt rush you or anything... yay?

Other than that he has a "i don't care" attitude about it. Yes yes, its a part of you, so what? He doesn't mean anything by it, he just doesn't see it as something worth acknowledging, really. It's like noticing someone has curly hair. Its there, it might be something worth noting at first, but then you just forget about it until its relevant.

Doesnt care if something is funnily timed either. You can have fun with it but he isnt bothered. But if you have a response to something he says, tic or otherwise, he instinctively takes it as a genuine response lmao.

"HM, THESE NOODLES HAVE BETTER INGREDIENTS BUT THESE ONES HAVE THE PERFECT SHAPE FOR WHAT I WANT TO DO."

*tic: " mac n cheese"

"NO, MACARONI NOODLES WOULD NOT SUFFICE."

Like he doesn't process it entirely that its a tic and kinda just responds seriously. Its kinda funny tbh. You'll probably end up giving up on explaining its a tic anyways if you try so itd be easier to go along with it. (He argues that it is rude not to respond and he is taking his manners seriously now that he is out the underground.)

Will rock someones shit for being disrespectful and antagonizing you. Like maybe not physically but he will verbally rip someone to shreds. Like its pathetic to antagonize someone for something so basic for no reason. Is this person serious? Being rude over something so minor. No, its not funny. What is funny is how this person thinks they can just start shit and be a nuisance with no consequences. People like them would've gotten their teeth knocked in for behaving that way. People at least knew not to be assholes for no reason. (They had a system of 'i leave you alone you leave me alone' unless someone was after something like power or money or whatever. You always had a reason to do violent things. It was normalized, but it wasn't barbaric. )

[glitzyboo]

Hi, I want to talk about something. ive only found this out today, but apparently my post where i answered a strange ask was featured on somebody's post?

I dont usually check people's profiles that interact with me in any way. This blog doesn't focus on interacting or engaging with other people, but only as a way to preserve graphics that i could use to decorate my social media accounts. When i received that ask, it was extremely bizarre to me. One because im a minor. Two because every time a bot has interacted with me, it wasn't through an ask. Three because i usually don't have people interacting with me through asks on this account. Four because I didnt know what was being achieved here ("was it a bot or not" i thought, i didnt know or care to find out). I try not to interact with people that much on/through this blog and i usually dont encourage people to interact with me here. I didn't have an immediate opinion on that ask and the account's existence. I didnt figure out if behind the account was a real person or a bot; i only just thought that the ask was very odd and slightly funny. That is why I gave that response to the ask.

So i just left it at that and moved on from it, to the point of nearly forgetting about this interaction. I didn't even bother to check the account, and that was very immature thing for me to do. Even if i prioritize being detached from others on this account, i definitely should have investigated the profile more instead of moving on so quickly. If i did investigate the account, i would've easily found out that this person was likely hacked and/or just awkward. It was only today that i found someone (a user who confirmed the account's gofund me is real) explaining the behavior of this account; which i reblogged.

To put it simply, the user who sent me and others that ask is a real person who doesn't know English much. To expand on that, they copied and pasted a message they didnt really know what was about. They regret those asks. Even when the message doesn't directly ask for financial support, the intent was to give more notice to their gofundme. This right here is the gofundme which has been vetted.

There has been a very, ongoing situation where many tumblr users are immediately accusing real life people asking for financial support as being scammers. What ties with those accusations are doubts that the people who confirm the people's campaigns are also scammers, not real or even not palestianians. That is incredibly dismissive to immediately have those accusations. It's clear that those accessions is only to comfort themselves, because several of the people who send those asks are ones who either have had other social media platforms for years (ex: facebook) and/or are in contact with people on here who can confirm they themselves and the gofundmes are real.

Do not use this specific case ("specific case" not only referring to the ask I got, but the ask that this user sent to others) an awkward palestinian to generalize all asks from them as fake. That is a disgusting thing to do. Not only that thought centers you and your own self comfort, but that is one which dismisses the lack of resources and opportunities Palestinins have to gain money at the moment due to them suffering through genocide as we speak. They are going through a genocide and naturally, a genocide makes it so there are less ways to support yourself in ways that involve money. Thus, there are less ways to survive... which is what genocide wants. Now Palestinians have to reply on other people to gain support and money. Of course they will send asks.

Also, of course he will copy and paste his messages- that is a very likely thing to do. He and other Palestinians are going through extreme measures to be killed and thus spending most of their energy on surviving, not on being "human" (or "less robotic") as they can be when spending asks.

I am incredibly sorry to Bassel for being incredibly ignorant enough to not even check the profile. I do not wish for my ask to contribute to this incredibly, dismissive loud behavior that a collective of users are doing on this websites in order to ignore Palestinians and their genocide. Yet it is. No matter my thoughts on this, it has gave impact and harm to you and several other Palestinians.

Also wanted to say that people are pushing their hardest for Bassel to be confirmed as real as hard as possible. You do realize that suggesting extreme methods could potentially dox him? That is such an ignorant, invasive and dismissive thing to do.

I am not saying this to deny that what he did was sexual harassment. But this moment of him not understand english and what he wrote and spread around does not mean he "deserves" to be ignored. Stop using this moment to villainize Palestinians through generalizing them, I want no part in that. He is being stripped away resources, a life and opportunities just for being born a Palestinian. Please be less hard on him and other Palestinians. You are actively harming him and other Palestinians by suggesting every Palestinian here is a scam as a way to encourage and justify not investigating or ignoring them & their gofundmes.

[dreaming-of-lu]

am v fatigued rn so sorry if this is incomprehensible but im wizard anon from your other blog and i wanna say i appreciate you 👍 i dont write stuff that other people would be interested in consistently enough for me to ever keep up with my own writing sideblog (tho i do have one) so being able to pop in and submit stuff whenever i do manage to make something others might like has been great. worse at interacting with this blog bec i didnt know it existed for a while and am very tired and often forget to reach out when i think about it... but i do like your stuff 🤲 interacting with others on social media is just hard for me for some reason???? not used to reaching out and talking to others online i forget i can do that.

maybe if i get free time from my other writing stuff ill work up the courage to write some whump or something and submit it here, i know my fave things to write are niche or will get repetitive but if other people genuinely like/want lu x reader stuff centred around queerness, disability and hurt/comfort then i might get the itch for it.

apologies if this doesn't make sense. feel free to dm me (i think you know my actual blog) if you ever wanna discuss ideas/brainstorm/chat/etc. ill try to post little thoughts here more often if i get them, and engage more. i get why its discouraging i feel the same with my own stuff but i know im not abled enough to be as consistent as i want to, both in making and replying, so i usually try to put it out my mind. a thing me and my friend does is when we read each other's fics we go back and screenshot/copy paste specific sections we liked especially and add commentary or just point it out as a Good Bit, ill try to do that with more fics here and on tumblr in general i think, and i encourage others to do the same, as someone who puts Themes and Motifs into all their fics. i want people to notice them or let me talk about them lol

anyway. youre cool. remember that 🪄✨

- wizard anon

🧙 anon! Hemlooo! So glad to see you here too! It's completely valid for ya. Social media is a bit harder to interact cause well, you don't see the person's face and you're talking to a complete faceless stranger. It's definitely a bit more daunting and also gathering the will to think of words without scaring/nerving the person off. Either way, sometimes you just gotta be brave and take the leap.

The thoughts?

I will be waiting for your tasty treats as always eue

[galactic-senator-amidala]

hello! mun speaking :D

"i am not afraid to use unorthodox means to prove my point"

before we get started, there’s some things that are going to be pointed out here (plz read they are very important):

if you’d like to ask padme or the mun anything, use my ask box! it is open for those specific reasons! just make sure to clarify if you are asking padme or mun

if youd like to rp but dont know if ill say yes, just dm me! they are open for those reasons lol

im pretty much cool with everything as long as it doesnt involve any nsfw stuff (gore & stuff is fine, im referring to smut)

my time schedule is wack so there will be days where i am radio silent. please dont think i am ignoring you, im probs just so busy i dropped dead (id recommend priv msging me to be safe)

my main blog is @flowered-bicycles so if youd like to see how i am like out of rp, go there lol

mun goes by soka but will usually be referred to as “amidala’s (or padme’s) mun. mun also uses she/her

as hard as i will try to be like padme’s canon self, i might end up throwing a bit of myself in the rp as well. if something seems ooc, please let me know but dont be harsh about it

parentheses or // are used when mun is speaking

roleplay is either used in 3rd person or 1st person. if you have a preference you’d like me to use, dont be shy and let me know

extra and disclaimer! - this is strictly an rp blog (yes i may act and speak and react like padme, but i am no way actually her. i am in no way affiliated with star wars! (unless you count being a fan as affiliated) so this is completely fanmade! feel free (much encouraged) to like, reblog, or send/asks and make comments! the ask box has anon on as well, so if you are too shy to use your user, anon is on just for you! if you wish, giving an emoji for me to recognize you by would be greatly appreciated! you can leave comments and ill try to reply to them. i dont think my submissions are open, but if youd like to submit something then ill open them!

BLOG RULES

you may use “potty mouth” when rping in character, but please keep it pretty strictly to star wars cursing (kriff, kark, etc)

padme is straight and will be canonically shipped with anakin (cuz they are married, duhh) but if you wish to do a “non-canonical”/au where padme is shipped with your character (or is not straight), please dm me and we will work it out

keep this a SFW blog! (which means no smut!! violence / gore are accepted tho so be warned)

keep the asks respectful please

uncomfortable topics will be blatantly ignored

dont godmod.

have fun!

about padme

galactic senator

canonically married to anakin skywalker

unofficially became ahsoka’s aunt

isn't afraid to use aggressive negotiations

will sweet talk you to get what she wants

friends & foes

canon

anakin skywalker - open slot

ahsoka tano - open slot

satine kryze - @arandomnerdsrp358

obi-wan kenobi - open slot

oc

(name of character) - user

PROMPT LIST! (and quotes)

here is a list of prompts that will help structure an rp (if you want to make a structured rp) or help get the rp flowing/started:

extra!: prompts and quotes can be requested together! for ex. : “can i request prompt a. with quote 6?” (or vice versa)

quotes:

1. “why did you do it? tell me”

2. “you know im always here for you, right?”

3. “let me take care of you”

4. “i thought id never see you again…”

5. “we need to get you to a hospital!”

6. “blood? why are you bleeding!?”

7. “sleep at my place tonight”

8. “you know you are my one and only”

9. “im in love with you, idiot (or di’kut)

10. “sh, stop fussing. let me braid your hair”

11. “if you steal the blankets, im going to put my cold feet on you.”

prompts:

a. it’s a mission and we got separated from the group. we are on an unknown planet and dont have any signal to comm the rest of the group. we have to try to make our way back to the ship with only each other and the things we have with us.

b. no one knows when it started, but suddenly people have started receiving red ribbons tied to their pinky and the red trails off to their soulmate. not everyone has a soulmate but we are some of the lucky few who have one. follow the roleplay as we go on a journey to follow the trail and meet eachother, and then live life together as soulmates.

c. a diplomatic mission gone wrong when a terrible virus breaks out in the planet. with the ship pulled to pieces and we are stranded on the planet, how will we survive and rebuild the ship to get off world and warn the other planets?

d. it’s a diplomatic mission to bring a planet to the side of the republic, but something goes wrong. dooku has brought his army to stop the planet from joining the republic and we get caught in the crossfire! negotiations are made and dooku has proposed a challenge for us to complete. if successfully completed, the planet may host a republic base. if lost, the planet goes to the separatists.

!! accepting additional quotes / prompts !!

[ralaferin]

long winded life whining

i have been with my partner every single day for about 3 weeks with no breaks to be alone. If I am not at his place he is at mine. i am a person who recharges with alone time.

REAL, actual alone time! which i Never Have because even if im at home, I have caring responsibilities. the situation at home is also always tense because of other reasons (parents relationship shit) so it is not a restful place to be regardless.

he went home this morning in a very fragile bad mood (for very good reasons, not at me) after venting about his suicidal ideations and i said i would come over after my game even though i am absolutely desperate for some alone time. the usual Trying To Support Someone Even Though I Also Feel Like Death

i played my online VTM game (10am to like? 3pm ish?) and was so exhausted afterwards that i went to bed and napped for an hour and a half

now he’s upset with me because “you said you would come over right after” and not opening or replying to anything I said

he also has real problems with sharing me with anyone else and I haven’t been able to keep up with any of my other friends full stop for months. my therapist has emphasised how unhealthy and codependent it is and even though I agree and I feel completely fucking smothered I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO

my parents had a horrible relationship and I have no fucking idea what a healthy boundary looks like or how to enforce one because the second someone is upset with me I fall immediately into people pleasing and fawning.

my only other relationship experience was a long term monogamous one where I got Jokingly put down so often it left my confidence completely shattered by the time it was over, and things came to light after it ended that made me realise the guy was actually a pretty fucking shitty person in a lot of ways that I didn’t see until later

The thing is, he genuinely treats me like a real gentleman and he’s sincerely excellent at handling my own horrific mental health. I’ve never had someone make me feel so beautiful and desired. He understands the mental load of caring for my mum and sees how crushed by it I am. He reminds me of my worth and he doesn’t put me down at all. He’s good with mum and helps me with things around the house without a single crumb of complaint. He makes me laugh and he dresses well and he actively wants to do hobbies together, never begrudgingly.

he’s genuinely a great guy and I’ve known him for like 8 years or something and he’s always been a steadfast friend

but

but.

what the fuck am I supposed to do?? i can’t be with someone who demands (in all but direct words) that i give up my friends and what few social hobbies i have to be with them. he struggles with recurring intrusive thought patterns that are probably ocd but we don’t know for sure and I can only support him so much. I’m a fucking mess myself, more than he realises, and the extra weight is crushing me.

I’ve never dated casually because I don’t even know how to and flying straight into another long term monogamous partnership also doesn’t feel good… this also started as a casual fwb situation that got more serious sort of out of my control and now I’m here. I know he can tell that some part of me I’ve been holding down is chafing and unhappy but I’ve bottled it up bc he’s suffering so fucking much at the moment and I don’t want to be a cause of it being even worse. He hasn’t said anything like “if you leave I’ll kill myself” but it really strongly feels like it, as he’s made me his sole emotional support and won’t fucking listen to me about seeking some support elsewhere ((“therapy is a racket for shaking money out of depressed people they don’t actually help you” attitude, won’t reach out to his family))

the extra psychological toll has made me start self harming again in worse ways than I used to and he encourages some pretty shitty things like my smoking a heap of weed and binge eating so I’ve also gained back all the weight I’d managed to lose and some extra too

there’s also that I can’t stop thinking about women and the recurring “am I actually bi or am I a lesbian” thoughts are back with a vengeance, and they make me feel horrible and guilty. World’s shittiest cherry on top of a big pile of turds. not that I would even be able to find out if I wasn’t already in a relationship, because I’m a fucking shut in and don’t know how to talk to people

[1111jenx]

Hii, love I hope you are doing extremely fine and sorry for the bother ✨✨

Would you mind providing insight on what happens when someone's North node is in your 8 house and yours in their 12 house.

His Pluto, chiron and lilith also falls in my 12 house.

One of the most scary synastry of my life honestly 😂😂😂

I really love your blog and the way you go deep into the subject. Waiting very eagerly for the reply💕💕

Helloooooo

First of all thank you so so soooo much for your kind words this is so sweet and wholesome!!!

And yes ofcourse, I'd be more than happy to answer this question:)

Its funny how I was just talking abt how scary 8H and 12H synastry actually is just now anddddd today as i go through my asks i saw this😂

I'll focus on y'all North Node today for some changes hehe

NN 8th house synastry:

Obsessive tendencies from both sides, but more apparent on the 8H's side.

Soul-deep relationship, can linger in one another's life for quite some time.

NN acknowledge and take pride in how much power they have over the 8H person but they dont realize that as they go deeper into the relationships, they are getting more and more invested.

NN person see the 8H person for what they can become. They see potentials and hidden power within 8H grasp.

NN changed 8H life significantly in some way. (romantically, sexually, financially). If well aspected (venus aspects, harmonious 8H) i'd even say that NN got involve w 8H finance and help them a lot, 8H=other people's money.

A lot of time for romantic context, NN often end up introducing the 8H person to deeper themes of intimacy and sexual experiences. Think that girl from 50 shades of gray entering the red room

Will be extremely hard to forget one another. Will always have some kind of entanglement or cross path later on in life.

Both parties consider the other person as one of their "soul family".

Twin flame placement in my opinion. Astrologers believe this can even go as far as a marriage placement.

8H person subconsciously can rely on the NN person a lot.

In a nonromantic context, this indicates a supportive friendship but also a transformative one with loads of ups and downs. Fights often but are very loyal to one another.

NN 12th house synastry:

NN person will see the 12H at their worst, literally. Will see through their facade most of the time and understand that there are a deeper and more spiritual side to the 12H person.

12H person sometimes can seem a lil spacey, but this should be encouraged as it is healthy for the relationship.

NN will support 12H's needs for depth while helping them slowly build their self esteem. Can seem like NN really knows 12H's struggles and pain despite not knowing them beforehand.

12H may rebel though. As in sometimes they might lash out at NN person for some petty reasons and have a harder time effectively communicate if they're in a bad mood. They refuse to listen to the NN person since they feel extremely exposed. NN may feel very left out sometimes.

A need to keep their relationship as private as possible.

12H may feel that in a way, NN "saved" them from some kind of addictive or toxic patterns that kept reoccurring in the past.

Painful attachment. There will be a lot of tears involved.

In romantic context I observe that couples with this are very involved in one another's lives and tend to know almost everything about each other, even the hidden secrets. I think that depends on the 2 people's charts, if there are too much chaotic energy like Pluto and Mars or a lot of squares in prominent placement can cause them to go crazy on each other and will hurt the other person for fun. will try to "get back" at the other person for wronging them if things go wrong.

An entanglement. Both parties can be clueless as to what they are. Hard to put a label on things.

This is a very very shallow summary as to what the NN synastry dynamic will play out between you and your partner😋 As per usual, pls be careful love and trust me, 12H synastry and 8H synastry going to literally shift how you see things in life. This indicate that you both are extremely significant in one anothers lives in some way.

love,

saint jenx🕊

[idontknowwhattodoherelmfao]

Deja Vu

Bakugo x fem!Black!reader

Word count; 9.06k

Character count; 40.93k

Genre: Smut

Warnings; AGED UP AU! Everyone is in their 3rd . NSFW, oral (Bakugo receiving), choking, hair-pulling, fingering, vaginal sex, unprotected sex (Don't worry, you're on the pill), aftercare, swearing, light degradation.

A/n; Hello, welcome to my first FINISHED fanfiction. I have a LOT of WIPs saved but I actually finished this one a while ago. I have been really insecure about my writing but after sharing me of it with my sister and my friend, they convinced me to at least try and share it with the people of tumblr. Also, I deeply apologize for any mistakes because most of my fanfiction is written really late at night when i simply cant sleep or a good idea pops in my head so I can barely see my keyboard and my brain is fuzzy. Well, I hope you enjoy and I encourage you to request suggest anything such as headcanons, scenarios or just anything really. Again I hope you enjoy babes.

You. step inside your classroom, ready to start your journey of being a hero. Yet, you're imediantly struck by chaos. "That is extremely disrespectful Bakugo!" "Shut up, you damn extra! Not this again!" "Woah! I'm getting serious deja vu! It's like 1st year all over again!" You just stare in silence. No one pays attention to you until one person looks at you, then another. Soon, everyone is staring at you. "It's chaotic in here, huh?" You chuckle nervously. "Yeah, but it's mostly this guy's fault." A yellow-haired boy points to someone sitting weirdly. "Yeah right! Shut up!" The ash-blonde-haired boy yells. After, his crimson eyes stare at you, piercing your soul. "Well, lookin' forward to this year." You laugh. A cotton-candy girl comes up to you and wraps an arm around your shoulder. "Yep! A lot of stuff happens, but it's really fun nonetheless!" She exlaims enthusiastically. "So, you're the new kid?" She points for your answer. "I'm (Y/n)! I look forward to this year with you." You wave to everyone. Suddenly, your smile falls and your face goes dead-serious. Everyone's expression melts into concern and nervousness. "Now, everyone tell me your names from seating order, from the back left corner to the front right corner!" You command. Surprisingly, everyone obey's, telling you their name. Well, except for 1 person. "I don't have to tell you shit." The same ash-blonde boy states. "I'm surprised everyone else did tell me. Haha! I was totally playing!" You laugh. You walk over to the boy. "Hey, you got spunk. What is your name?" You ask. Crimson eyes soften a little at the surprise, but they quickly turn cold again. "What are you, deaf? I said, I'm not speaking, extra." He huffs. A spiky red-haired boy puts a hand on your back. "He's Bakugo Katsuki. Don't mind him, he's a little hot-headed." He chuckles nervously. "Don't speak for me!" Bakugo yells. "I gotta say, your mom must be psycic or something. Your name totally matches your personality." You scoff. "You just got here. Enlighten me, what do you think my personality is?" He grins smugly. You scoff again, matching his grin. "Well, when you act like that, it's easy to tell, so don't get cocky. You're obviously really strong, which is why you have the right to brag and show off and all of that." You explain. "Are you insulting him or praising him?" Denki says. "Why can't it be both? Praise and respect for being like this, but at the same time, damn bro." you sit down in the nearest chair, which conveniently is your assigned seat. He scoffs and looks away. "What do you know." He mumbles. You cup your face in your hand to look at him. "Aw, don't get grumpy. I'll feel bad." You fake-whine. "I'm not grumpy! And even if I was, if that were to be enough to make you feel bad, maybe you shouldn't be a hero!" He yells. "Hm. You do know that I was joking right? Well, for the most part anyways. I would feel bad, but if this was a real life situation, trust me. I wouldn't feel nearly bad enough to disobey something for you. So don't worry, ya got nothin' to worry about." You pull your bottom eyelid down teasingly. "Shut the hell up." He grumbles. You comply, as the homeroom teacher comes into the class. You cross your legs into the chair, and you see Iida eyeing you from across the room. His eyes shift to beside you, where you see Bakugo doing the exact same thing. His eyes dart to you, as you quickly undo your feet and rest your head on your chair and let out a heavy sigh. "You do that too?" You look at him. "Copycat." He mutters. "Am not. I always sit like this." You whisper-yell. "Yeah right. You tryna be some kinda wannabe rebel or something?" He chuckles. "Rebel? Now, you just pulled that out your ass, didn't ya?" You ask. "No. You're clearly tryna be disrespectful. It's not a good look for you." He smirks. "Doin' this is disrespectful? Since when? It's always been cute to me." You huff. "Are you forein or something, or are you just a dumbass?" He turns his head to you. "Not exactly foreign, but I spent a generous amount of my life in America. I did this all the time there,

it's not counted as disrespectful, in fact people find it rather cute, so what's your excuse?" You put your hand down. He looks away from you. "Thought so, wannabe rebel." You chuckle. The rest of class is normal, and soon enough, the school lunch bell rings. "Hey, mr teach?" You raise your hand while everyone leaves. Well, except for Bakugo, Mina, Kirishima, and Denki because they were being disrespectful and talking during the lesson. You were wondering why Bakugo was caught and not you. For punishment, the disrespectful students had to pack up chairs and sweep the classroom. "Yes, (L/n)?" The teacher responds. "In a normal highschool, we're allowed to leave campus during lunch. Does that apply here?" You ask, looking around. "Yes, you're allowed to leave at any time as long as you fill out a leave campus paper. They're in the teacher's lounge." He points to the door "Go left, at the first turn, turn left, and 3rd door on your right." he explains. "I don't know if i'm leaving, I was just askin'." You say. "Hm, I dunno. Hm." You put a finger to your chin in thoght. "Hey! I'm heling you guys now!" You point to Bakugo, Mina, Denki, and Kirishima. They all give you s confused look. "What? Why would you wanna do this?" Kirishima asks. "Maybe she's a bit weird in the head. Hehe, our first crazy person. Just the icing on the cake, huh?" Denki jokes. "I'm not crazy, just bored." You pick up a broom. "Yeah, I think she's a bit crazy." Mina whispers. "Heard that."  You roll your eyes. "Why're you bein' so quiet, wannabe rebel?" You cock an eyebrow. "Don't call me that!" He yells while raising his fist. "You called me that first." you scoff. "Exactly my point. Who calls someone something they called them first?" He says. "Hm, maybe I can be a trendsetter." You give him a smug smile before sweeping some of the dirt on the floor. Suddenly, Bakugo starts yelling. "You idiots! You're doing this all wrong!" He screams.  He points to Denki. "Where the hell are you sweeping, the wall!?" He points to Kirishima "Stop staring into space!" He points to Mina. "And you're not doing anything! When was this a time for music!?" Mina was drumming her hands on a desk while humming. He pointed to you. "And you're-" He stops midsentence. You lean on your broom. "Go on, what am I doing?" Your face looks serious, but he can tell you're fighting your smile. The corners of your mouth twitch as his cheeks turn a very subtle pink, but you picked it up. "Mhm. too bad for you, I don't get caught lacking." You say sing-songy. "Y'know, if you're so serious about cleaning this place, why don't you do it?" Denki suggests. "Well, you're all punished, so I don't think ya'll can just leave." You laugh. "Maybe we can if someone takes over our spots. Ah? Ah?" Denki nudges your shoulder. "Maybe you're right.." Denki's eyes light up, and everyone looks to you. "It would be faster if you were gone, pea-brain." You sneer. "I mean, I'm happy you'd let me leave, but c'mon! Pea-brain?" You laugh, along with Mina and Kirishima. "How mean!" Kirishima says through fighting snickers. "Haha! It's totally true though!" Mina, on the other hand is guffawing and holding her sides. "Your grades are jsut as bad!" Bakugo yells. "Dang, am I just surrounded by idiots? Studying isn't really that hard." You shrug. "Oh please! How good are your grade!?" She points and huffs. "Me? Eh, not half bad if I do say so myself. Usually above average, but math and history is always a struggle. But at least I can manage to have an A average." You shrug. "A...average!?" Mina dramatically throws herself back. "Yeah. If you guys put some sort of effort into your grades, you'd be the same way." You explain. "Shut up, we need to get this done and over with, you trying to keep us here all day and night!?" Bakugo yells. "My thoughts exactly. Great minds think alike I guess." you roll your eyes and begin sweeping again, glaring at Denki and taking his broom. "Hey!" He says, at your snatch. "Honestly, at this point you're just stalling." "Do something useful for once." Bakugo adds. "Jeez, when did you

become so mean?" He walks away. "I became mean when someone pissed me off." You reply. "What did I do?" He raises his voice a little. "Not much, I don't even really know why I'm kinda pissed at you. Maybe it's your piss hair." Mina points and laughs again. "Everyone here is mean to me." He whines. "Let's hurry up and get this oevr with, I'm getting bored again." you start sweeping a bit faster. "If you're bored, why dont you just leave? No one's stopping you." Bakugo says. "Eh, I dunno, just don't wanna leave I guess." You shrug. "You'd really just rather just stay here and clean? You're pretty weird.." Mina groans. "Hey, you're witnessing a rare sight. I don't really get bored often." You chuckle, and sweep the dust and dirt into Bakugo's pile. "You've been silent, wannabe rebel." You tilt your head in front of his face. "I said stop calling me that, dumbass. You must be deaf." He says. "You got all this talk but you're not doing anything. Try insuliting me when you prove you can do something better than me." You spin around and continue sweeping. Mina and Kirishima are silent for a few minutes. "Hey, me and Kirishima are done, we're gonna dip." Mina finally speaks. Kirishima nods. "Ugh, can I go? (Y/n)'s not letting me do anything!" Denki groans. "Because you do it wrong." You explain. "Yeah, we're gonna head to the cafeteria before they're out of Onigiri!" Mina exclaims. "Hope we're not too late." Kirishima rubs his stomache. "Haha! Good luck with being stukck with Bakugo (Y/n)!" Denki waves his hand and they all run out the room. "God, what did thet even do? Wiped an already clean table?" You scoff, sweeping some more while spinning a little. "Why are you here?" Bakugo questions. "And you're gonna call me deaf? I said because I was bored." You laugh, the noise echoing throughout the classroom. "Now, hurry up, I wanna get out of here." You continue sweeping again, but he stands still. "What now? You forget how to sweep? Here, like this." You slowly sweep, while laughing to yourself again. "Shut the hell up. If you wanna get out of here, why don't you? You like me or something?" He gives you the slyest grin as you growl. "No one else here likes you, why should I?" You copy his grin. "We've all been together since first year, you just got here. What do you know?" His grin fades as he sweeps. "Hey, what's your quirk?" You ask. "Huh? What the hell for?" He yells. "I wanna spar with you!" You beam. "Yeah, OkAy." He says sarcastically as he scoffs. "Tell me your quirk first." He says while sweeping. "Hm." You ponder. "Do you not know what your quirk's name is or something?" Bakugo looks at you, and stops sweeping. "No. My quirk is enhancement. I was just thinking if I should tell you or not." You respond, sweeping yourself. "Enhancement" Bakugo wonders." "Yeah, you know, I can make something or someone really strong, blah blah blah. What's yours?" You ask. "Explosion." He grumbles. "Explosion? Now we gotta spar! I know you're strong, so c'mon!" You say, putting the broom down. "..Fine, but pick your broom up! We're not sparring here, and in case you didn't know, I'm still punished." Bakugo grumbles. "Fine, let's hurry this up then. I don't know how much time of lunch is there." You look at the clock. "Usually, there's about a 50 minute lunch break, we've been out for about 20 or maybe 25. 30 at most." You do the math in your head. "You could have just took the time lunch ends and subtracted it by the amount of time you've been wasting here, extra." Bakugo grumbles. "Well, even if it was 30, we'd still have 20 minutes to spar! That's more than enough time for me to beat you!" You say. "I'll kill you." He grumbles, sweeping a bit faster. You join him, and the room is spotless in no time. "Hurry up!" Bakugo yells at you. "Don't yell at me!" You yell back, jogging after him. You end up at some clearing. Bakugo is stretching his arms and cracking his neck. "1, don't set any tree's on fire. 2.." He gives you a glare. "Hope you have another uniform packed." He smiles to wide his gums are showing. You are in shock a little, but

you smile too. "And same to you." You crack your knuckles. "Actually?" you stop. "What." bakugo stops himself as well. "This time, let's not use our quirks." you say. "Why? You scared that mine is better?" He laughs. "No no, nothing like that. It would be better to spar to better our physical skills first, then we can add quirks later." You say. "Alright, let's just get this over with." He rolls his neck. You both come at eachother at the same time, throwing punches, kicks, and blocking for what seems like forever. You see his hand start glowing, signaling he's about to make an explosion. Most likely to propel himelsef towards you, but still. You grab his wrist and hold it up. "Ah! I said no quirks and you agreed." you point to his hand, as the glow fades. Deku comes up to us, a bit shocked at the scene. "Uhm, lunch is over." He nervously says. Bakugo snatches his wrist back from you, and walks away, sucking his teeth. "This isn't over." He brushes past Deku, who immediantly turns back to you. "Hey, were you fighting?" The green-haired boy rushes over. "Yeah, we were." you shrug. "Are you hurt?" He asks. "Why aren't you asking Bakugo this stuff?" You ask. "He was bullying you, right? I can't believe you stepped up to him though-" Your erupting laughter interrupts him. "A-are you okay!?" He waves his hands. "Oh my god! You thought he was bullying me? I came up with the idea of sparring!" You gasp for air. "You were just sparring?" Deku asks for clarification. "Yeah, didn't you notice he wasn't using his quirk? Well, until the very end, but I stopped him." You catch your breath. "O-oh. i'm sorry I misunderstood." You slap him on the back. "It's all good, it's not your fault Bakugo just gives off that vibe! Welp! Time for class, right?" You begin marching towards the forest, Deku nodding and following suit. While you're walking to class, you replay the sparring match in your head. Your brain stops at one scene, when you grabbed his wrist. You didn't see it before, but now that it's replaying, you see his eyes in your small vision. They were softened, but hostile. You giggle at the thought, to which Deku notices. "What are you laughing about?" He asks. "Just how you thought Bakugo was bullying me." You run in front of him, hoping to catch up to Bakugo. "Hey, Bakugo!" You yell for him, he stops and turns around. "What?" He grumps. "When are we gonna spar next? You said it wasn't over." you explain. "After school, what'd you think I meant, dumbass." Bakugo says. "I thought you meant the same time tomarrow or something, don't get your panties in a bunch." You playfully push him. "Should we reschedule that sparring match to right now?" Bakugo growls. "I dunno, I feel up to another round. This time I'm gonna kick your ass." You smirk. "I'll win in a second. Because next time we spar, we're doing quirks and all." He scoffs. "Now now, didn't you hear the phrase the cockiness killed the cat?" You tease. "I'm not cocky, I just know I'm gonna win." He shrugs. "Mhm, I admire the confidence, but it's just gonna be hilarious when I beat you at this point." You snicker at the thought of his face. "Well, get that thought out of your head because it's not happening." Bakugo lightly smacks the back of your head. "Yes it is! But just because you think you're gonna win, don't try to go light on me!" You point at him. He swats your hand away. "Calm down, I wouldn't dream of it. What made you think I would?" He asks. "You seem like those type of people that would 'pkay with their food' when their prey is especially weak." You say. "Well, that's just inefficient. I'm pretty sure we're late, so hurry your ass up!" He yells as he walks faster. "I could use my quirk and we'd be there in a second." You suggest. "What's your stupid quirk gonna do?" He asks. "Enhancement. I could enhance our legs to make us walk or run faster. But, you'd probably crash into a wall at the sudden change of speed. But I could totally carry you!" You beam. "I'm not getting carried." He walks up the stairs. "Would you rather me drag you by the shirt?" You suggest

jokingly. "No, I'm walking myself. I don't need your help to walk to my damn classroom." He says. "Fine, then I will too. It'll look like i'm showing off if i use my quirk without you." You huff. "DO you see anyone here? No one gives a shit if your showing off." Bakugo says. "Well, I'm not budging, but let's hurry up." You say. "Don't tell me what to do!" He yells after you. When you enter class, surprisingly enough, the teacher's not there. "Lucky ducks! Where were you?" Mina says. "WEre you really sweeping all lunch?" Denki asks afterwards. "We w-" "Well anyways!" Mina interrupts. "I'm totally having a party at Yamomo's! I just need a theme or kind of party. Should it be a rave, or maybe a dance battle!" Mina beams. "How're you gonna throw a party if you don't know what it's gonna be?" You ask. "Well, I don't even know if I'm gonna have it at Yamomo's, but most likely, I will. Maybe I can find an abandoned warehouse instead!" She beams. "Maybe we could have some kind of boxing match like how (y/n) and Bakugo were sparring!" Ochako suggests. "No way, Bakugo would beat everyone in a heartbeat, so there'd be no surprise." Denki objects. "Why don't we have some sort of nightclub vibe?" You suggest. "That's perfect! A nightclub! Purple lights, a dj, it'll be PERFECT! You're a GENIUS (y/n)!" Mina swings her arms around you and squeals. "It just came to mind when I thought of a party." You explain. "Okay! I have everything under control! I'll text you the place and time! I'll set up everything!" Mina shreiks. "You sure you can set up a party by yourself?" Kirishima asks. "I got connections. Leave it to me!" She shows a thumbs up. "Hey (Y/n)! I never got your number. Wouldn't want you not coming." She gives you her phone and you type your number in. She texts you a thumbs up for comfirmation. "Okay class, settle down." The math teacher walks in. "Took him long enough" you mutter. The school day goes by easily, and before you know it, the end of the day bell is sounding. "Hey, Bakugo. Are we really gonna spar now? What if we get the text for Mina's party in the middle of it?" You ask. "Knowing her, it probably won't be till late, to 'set the mood'." He turns off his phone and shoves it in his pocket. "We got time." He walks in front of you down the stairs. "Well, okay. The dorms are this way, right?" You point to a nearvy building. "Yeah, but why're you going there?" Bakugo asks.  "This is my chance to change into more comfortable clothes for better mobility. Also, my only spare uniform might not be able to fit me after the party." You joke.  "You should take this oppertunity too." You suggest as you walk in. After you change, you walk back out, Bakugo's leaning on the side of the building. "Geez, what took you so long?" Bakugo groans. "You just change fast." You stick your tongue out. "And you did your hair?" He scoffs. "Yeah? You didn't?" You say sarcastically. "No winder you took so long, it's like you planned this outfit." He sucks his teeth. "Are you gonna stop staring at my clothes and fight me or what?" You crack your knuckles once more. "Quirks this time, remember?" Bakugo clarifies. "Hell yeah. Wanna time your loss?" You laugh. "Shut up." He grumbles. Suddenly, he's infront of you, his hand glowing. You block, and stumble back a little. "Geez, that was dirty!" You say. "All's fair in fighting and fighting." He chuckles. "Ugh." You groan, as you speed towards him, throwing an enhanced punch at his blocked face. The fight continues on forever, taking small water breaks and continuing. Bakugo is appalled at your raw strength, only helped with your enhancement quirk.  You chug your water, noticing his mixed expression of shock, and exhaust. "What time is it?" You check your phone, the time being 10 o'clock. "Damn, we've been sparring for 5 hours? No wonder my muscles are so sore." You stretch your arms a little. Suddenly, yours and Bakugo's phones go off at the same time. "Seems like Mina's got the time and place. I didn't think she was gonna go through with it." You say. "Well, that's that extra for you." Bakugo shoves

his phone in his pocket. "The party is in 2 hours, and you take forever to change apparently so I suggest you get started now." He growls. "What about..? Fine." You give up. Mina and Momo arrive at your dorm. "OH. My. GOD!" Mina squeals. "What is it? And aren't you supposed to be at the party?" You ask. "I went shopping with Yamomo for...your dress~!" Mina says sing-songy. "She picked it out." Momo hands you the dress, covered in a bag. "Uh, you didn't have to do this." You scratch the back of your head. "You're the new kid, so we wanted to help you get ready!" Mina beams. "Go on, try it on! I think it'll look great on you now that I'm getting a good look of you." Momo says, a finger to her chin. "Fine. Come in, sorry it's a bit messy." You say, walking towards your bathroom. "Don't forget to take a shower, you smell sweaty!" Mina teases. "And how do you call this dirty? One outfit is on the floor?" Mina picks it up and puts it in the hamper. You feel like a completely new person in the shower, washing away your sweat, filth, and problems. You also wash your hair, remembering you forgot to do it last week. You get out and reveal the dress, your eyes widening at the red beauty. You try it on and look in the mirror. "Uhm," You call out to Mina and Momo. "Is this really what you're supposed to wear to a nightclub?" You ask, steppinf out of the bathroom. Mina and Momo gasp at your appearance in the dress. "Oh my god! Yes!" Mina rushes over, examinging you from every angle. "Is that the answer to my question? Aren't you supposed to dance at a nightclub?" You ask. "Yeah. You aren't just wearing the dress. Don't worry, you'll be able to dance the night away." Mina reassures you. "You sure? It's a bit tight." You tug at it around your thighs. "It's not tight, it's just...y'know, like a pencil skirt. it's just fitting." Mina explains. "I don't think pencil skirts are made for dancing." You laugh. "Well, I'm probably not gonna dance anyways. And if i did, I'm probably not gonna be breakdancing or anything, huh?" You chuckle. "That's the spirit." Mina gives you a thumbs up. "So, you said this wasn't the full outfit?" You sheepishly grin. "Yep! Don't worry, babe, just leave it to us." Mina smiles greatly and Momo gives a warm small smile. "Alright, but if you're gonna do my hair, be gentle." You tangle your fingers in your black sea of curls. "Don't worry, my head is sensitive too." She scratches her hair. Soon enough, you look like you had a full glow-up. Mina and Momo snapping pictures to put on their story, also taking photo's of eachother and themselves. "The party's at midnight, right?" You check your phone again. "Yeah, it's friday night so we don't have to worry about waking up early for school!" Mina says enthusiastically. "And since it's at one of my guest houses, we can even have a sleepover." Momo suggests. "C'mon, we wouldn't wanna be late." Mina says. "What are we even celebrating?" You ask. "Nothing. Sometimes, a party celebrating nothing is just what you need!" Mina says. "I...guess that makes sense..?" You laugh. You get in Momo's convertible, vibing as you pass the aux around. It feels like you've been in the car for such a short time, as you pull up to her guest house's driveway. You swear you can hear the music booming from where you were standing. You walk in, and are greeted with booming music, bright and dim lights, and decorations everywhere. "Tada!" Mina squeals. "How'd you do all this?" You gasp in awe. "I knew a guy." She says proudly. We hear another car pull up, and we greet the people coming one by one. "Wow, this party is amazing!" Kirishima looks around, getting lost in the crowd. At this point, people you didn't even know were arriving. You assumed Mina and  Momo's friends, and people the other classmates invited. Bakugo comes in and eyes you up and down. "Hm, I thought you wouldn't be here for another hour, slowpoke." He smirks. "Maybe you should higher your expectations then." You flash him a fake-mean look as you both walk to a wall. "Ha, just 2 hours ago we were fighting behind the dorms, and

now we're at a party." You laugh at the randomness. "I am actually surprised you were here before me though." He says with a phony shocked expression. You shove him playfully. "Well, guess I have Mina and Momo to thank for beating you. Maybe I should dedicate my trophy to them." You teasingly ponder aloud. His expression changed to a mix of irritation and laughter. Mina suddenly drags you away, to dance with her in the middle of the floor. At first you were embarrassed, but once you were feeling the beat, you forgot all about the people eyeing you and cheering you on. You were having a total blast, singing and dancing to the busting music. She said she mixed hers and Jirous playlist together, and you compliment their taste in music, and you and Mina begin dancing together. You and Mina stop, panting and laughing as she compliments your dancing skills. "I'm gonna get a drink." You point to the food and bevarages table and she nods. You walk through the crowd, hearing some cheers and compliments towards you, even some whistles. You drink some water, and lean on the wall watching as Mina continues dancing with Ochaco. Suddenly, you feel a yank and you're dragged away, and into a room. You hear the door slam as you're met with your back on a wall. You grunt on impact. Everything happened in a blur, so when you can focus your eyes again, You look around for a split second, realizing you're in some kind of office. But, you're met with fires of red. "Why the hell are you wearing that?" A booming familiar voice rings through your eardrums. "Bakugo? What do you mean?" You say, stunned that the words actually came out of your mouth. "I'll repeat myself just this once; Why the hell are you wearing that?" He says. You're absolutely shocked. "Well, you didn't seem to have a problem with it when you first saw me with it!" You say. "Well, that was before you decided to give everyone here a fucking 'show'!" His grip gets a little tighter on your shoulders. What? What did he mean by show? You weren't even paying attention to yourself or anyone else while you were dancing, did you really..? "W-well, even if I did, what's that got to do with you?" You recollect yourself. His grip on your shoulders tighten even more, making you groan a little. "If you were gonna do that, why the hell would you wear this?" He looks you up and down again. "I don't even know what I did, and it's not like I plan my dance moves!" Your voice raises a little. "You don't even know what you just did in front of everyone?" He looks shocked, not even the sightest bit irritated anymore. His grip seems to loosen and tighten at the same time. You get a little anxious, as he comes a little closer. "What do you see in your head when I say the word 'show' in the same context I just did?" He says. You gulp as you imagine it. "Yep, you just did that, in front of the whole class, plus others. It's pretty rich that you didn't even realize it though." Bakugo chuckles a little, but it quickly fades. "T-that's impossible, my body..can't do that." You try to huff, but you're too nervous to do a solid one. "How humble." He loosens his grip and backs away, making you breath deeper. But suddenly, one of his hands grabs your right thigh as he brings it up to his waist, and snakes his other hand onto your back, right above your butt. You're now pinned on the wall. "But you and I both at least have some idea of what this body of yours is capable of." He growls, his face just whispers away from yours. You take another deep breath, but it's more of a gasp. You lean your head up onto the wall, taking a deep gulp. Bakugo watches as the little bubble trails down your throat. "Well, if you really don't know.." He licks his lips as he watches another bubble travel downwards. "Want to find out?" He catches the third bubble, licking it. You snap your head in surprise as he gives you a teasing smirk. His left arm snakes down further, grabbing your ass as his right moves your thigh higher. Your head is spiraling, and you open your mouth to speak, but you're interrupted by an intruder of the

mouth. You couldn't help the moan from escaping as he tastes you, licking his lips afterward. Your lidded eyes meet his, but they quickly move down to his mouth, and then to his eyes again. "I'm just glad you aren't wearing lip gloss or lipstick." He mumbles, before giving you another tongue kiss. You wrap your left leg around his waist, as his right knee bends to touch you. He can feel your folds clench at his touch, which forces the smallest gasp from you. "If you only did that show for me, I wouldn't be pissed at you." He furrows his brows at you. "Why?" You manage to say. "You're that dense, huh? Maybe words won't go through your brain." His right hand leaves your thigh, and grabs some of your hair behind your head. His eyes flicker from your eyes to your mouth, open from your decreshending breaths. "So maybe this will." He licks the opening of your mouth, his tongue sliding in before turning it into a kiss. His mouth leaves yours just barely, before both of your tongues stick out, crashing onto eachother like waves, as your lips connect once again. These kisses were different, more passionate, including the unique sound they made compared to the others. When your lips disconnect as a finale, he unwraps your leg from his waist and lets go of your butt. His lidded eyes give you a (Not a command, but not a wish either, I couldn't find a word for it lmao.) as he sits down in the nearest chair, his right hand now cupping his face as he waits for you. You get a little shaky, but you oblige, moving towards him. You lower to your knees as he watches your thighs get thicker from the press of your lower legs. You move towards him more, as your hands go onto his knees. You erotically slide your hands up his thighs, as if you really were giving him a show on his own. Two index fingers dance towards the center of his pants, where a mountain stands. Bakugo lightly groans as he feels his pants getting more confined. Your hands lightly struggle at the tight button, but you manage to quickly undo it. Bakugo's large dick springs up at attention, precum almost dripping. You lean over it, and a few hairs cloud your vision. You tuck them behind you ear as you notice Bakugo's facial expression, seemingly annoyed. You put him to your mouth as you rub his tip with your index finger. He nods with a small groan, and you give his dick a small lick. You lick all of the sides at least once before sliding his dick into your mouth. You flatten your tongue as you fit more of his cock into your mouth, spilling a louder groan from Bakugo. Alas, your curls kept moving. They didn't exactly pose a problem to you, but the thick fingers that carded through your hair said otherwise. You stop to look at him. "Just wanted a view." His smirk grows. You continued, but using your tongue as it swirls around his tip. Bakugo's large hand clenched a handful of your hair, forcing you to take his dick. You moan at the slight pain and force. You rise your head to his tip, before stopping. His facial expression changes to confusion, which you take as your cue. You swiftly take as much of his dick as you can, and hold your head there. The shock forces a loud erotic moan from Bakugo, followed by curses, and his thick cum flowing into your mouth and onto your face, satisfying you.  Bakugo's covering his red face with his huge hand, panting along with you. "I...didn't expect that." Bakugo pants. "I...hah...said to...higher your expectations of me..didn't I?" You wipe your chin and lick your lips. "God, I should just face-fuck you right now." He exhales deeply, catching his breath. "Then why don't you?"  You ask. "Because as much as I'd love to shove this cock down your little throat, I also want to make you feel good." He uses a finger to lift up your chin, and close your mouth. You both stand up, and Bakugo lightly pushes you onto a table and stands over you, both of his arms by your sides, pinning you there. "I bet while you were giving your show out there, all the guys- hell, maybe even some of the girls- wanted to rip this dress off of you." Bakugo chuckles to

himself. "You said that your body couldn't do a show like that. Remember what I said? If you didn't know, wanna find out?" He recaps, and you nod. "Well? What's your answer to that?" He asks genuinly. You chuckle. "You're really gonna wait until you got your dick wet to ask me that? Psh, and you called me dense." Your chuckle erupts to a laugh. Bakugo clenches your hair again. "Just answer the damn question." He growls. "Yeah, I wanna find out." You reply confidently. He gives you a slightly surprised and confused look, to which you answer by swiping 2 fingers along his member. He lightly grabs your neck, forcing your head down onto the desk. A noise you didn't know you had in you echoes throughout the room. Even Bakugo's shocked by it, and he's the one who forced it out. But he quickly catches on. "Ah, somebody's got a little kink, huh?" His hand grabs your hair again roughly, a similar moan coming out as he lifts your head up and moves his mouth towards your ear. "You like to be fucked niiice and rough, don't you?" The low rumble in his voice makes you shiver. "You like to be teased, even though you act like you don't, huh?" He sneaks a touch at your folds through your panties. You lightly moan at the sudden act as your head moves upwards and your thighs clench together, as Bakugo's hand barely escapes your thighs crashing together. "You like...the pain with the pleasure, don't you?" He bites your ear before licking and peppering kisses onto it. Your breaths grow heavier as your body heats up. He continues with the teasing, forcing your legs open, putting his knee between your legs and carressing your inner thigh, and pressing onto your clit as he nibbles on your ear some more. He slips off shoes, then your pantyhose, and then your panties as his teases get harsher. Suddenly, two thick fingers of his slip between your velvety folds. You moan as your walls try to fend off the intruder, as he steadily pumps his fingers into you with rhythm. "God, you're so tight." He groans, as his dick twitches. Your breaths are still heavy, but more apparent. "Oh, god, fuck." Your head is thrown back onto the desk. Bakugo's firey eyes burn into yours. "This feels nice, doesn't it?" He says. You let out a whiny "Mhm." To which Bakugo chuckles. "It feels nice, sure, but I want to make you feel good, no, amazing, the best you've ever felt." His slides turn into thrusts as his fingers quicken their pace. "F-fuck." You moan grows long. You couldn't help but roll your hips and grab one of your breasts, trying to rush your release. "Ke-hah-ep going." You're barely able to keep those words together. "Now, don't rush yourself. I was gonna be the one to make you feel good." He hits just below the spot you've been longing for, and you can feel yourself coming close, just a little bit more. If that wasn't enough, he curls the tips of his fingers to hit your sweet spot, right on the money, and he can tell too, noticing how your body quivers and your eyes closed tightly. Suddenly, his fingers exit your folds. You give him a confused look, panted breaths taking over your words. "Sorry princess, but when you cum, I'm gonna be inside you." You watch as Bakugo seperates his fingers, watching as your slick webs between them. "Didn't think you could be this wet." Bakugo chuckles. Suddenly, he puts the two fingers in his mouth, licking your slick off. When his fingers leave his mouth, a string of slick falls from his mouth as well. You swallow at the sight. He gets up and grasps your neck, forcing your head down again, making the same noise, but slightly more lewd from the teasing. "Haha, you slut." He chuckles while exhaling deeply. He runs his hands down your frame, admiring your curves. He pumps himself a few times, reminding himself of how you just treated his dick. He grabs your thigh, observing how your flesh molded into his hand. He's moves his hand, but you catch his wrist. "Wait." You say, sitting up. He backs away with a confused look, and you stand up from the table. You stretch your arms a bit, but you suddenly push him, your enhancing quirk

making it powerful enough to crash him onto a couch. "Wha-" He has no time to react as he watches you push him again to lay him parrallel to the couch. He wasn't expecting this, and he couldn't deny the facts, it made his dick that much harder. It twitched at your boldness. You straddle him, lining his cock to your throbbing and oversensitive pussy. "Being bold, huh (Y/n)?" His confused open mouth grew into a smirk. "Mhm. Watch just how bold I can be.." you moan as his tip enters you, taking a bit before you bottom yourself out, your pussy swallowing him whole. Long moans exit both of your mouths, as you put your arms behind your back to support yourself as you slowly roll your hips, giving Bakugo a good view of you gushing onto his dick. "Fuck, you're even wetter and tighter than before." Bakugo says through groans and gritted teeth. You laugh breathily as you roll your hips rhythymically, beign engulfed in ecstacy. Suddenly, Bakugo's hand grasps your neck as he forces you down onto the couch, him now towering over you, his cock twitching inside of you. "B-bakugo." You moan. "You really are bold. But you're doing the opposite of what I said you'd do. Remember?" His grip tightens onto your neck, as you nod profusely. "Also, drop the last name. It's Katsuki. Got that?" He chuckles. "Katsuki." You repeat, thinking it sounds familiar. He sucks his teeth. "You're begging with your eyes, you slut." He begins thrusting into you, lifting one of your thighs with his free hand to drill deeper. His thrusts grew quick and harder quickly as he pounds into you, a gasp or moan coming out of you with each individual thrust. His hand around your neck just added to the pain and pleasure you felt. "K-katsuki!" You have a shaky smile with tears in your eyes. "What's wrong-fuck- too rough?" He tries to hide his pleasure as well, but it's getting harder for him as his dick slides perfectly, your walls adjusted to him instantly, as if it was waiting for his cock only. "Damn, it's like you were -shit- made for me." Expletives interrupt his sentences as he stops trying to hide his pleasure as his hips meet yours. His smile is the widest you've ever seen, showing his gums. He moves your other thigh up, allowing him to go even deeper. "K-katsuki..fuck!" Your moans seem to get breathier and a bit more highpitched. "Don't worry, I know where to go." He assures you, as he flawlessly hits your sweet spot, just like with his magical fingers. "Yes! Right there, fuuuck~!" You put your hands on his arm as his grip gets even tighter onto your neck, and as he ruthelessly abuses that spot, rubbing on it fast. Your eyes begin to roll to the back of your head as his pace gets even quicker. "Keep going, Katsuki, so close, so fucking close just keep going!" Your fingers don't know what to do as you try to grip the couch, your hair, but they stay at his shoulders, your fingernails digging into his skin only makes him pound harder. "Go ahead, cum on this dick, (Y/n)." He grunts loudly, feeling himself become undone as well. "It's...too good." All you can see is white as you reach your high, your back arching, your eyes completely into the back of your head, and your insides being painted white. His long erotic moan matched yours, as you panted and came down from your peaks simultaniously. While you were seeing white, however, you were getting visions, memories of stuff you didn't remember. It was you and Katsuki, as children, playing together, him coming to your house with his mom when you were little, and you playing competitive sports outside as your moms talked. You remembered everything from when you were little, and started questioning how you could forget. You also saw something else, you going away, when you moved to America. When you said goodbye to Katsuki, and shared a hug, that no one else was gonna get. "K-katsuki.." you pant, giving him a nostalgic look. "So, you've remembered." He chuckles through panted breaths. "Took ya long enough." He says. "Huh?" You give a confused look. "I wouldn't have sex with someone I just met hours ago. And knowing

you, you wouldn't either." He moves from on top of you, sitting down next to you. It sparked a question in your mind. Why did you have sex with him, if you didn't remember him? Maybe it was your subconcious that knew him. You yawn, now completely down from your high. "I gotta say, it was fun getting to know you all over again and play along." Katsuki laughs. "And your quirk improved dramatically. Remember when we were little, when my explosions were really small,  and you used to enhance my quirk to make explosions like I do now?" He recalls. "Yeah, I was probably the only one who you've ever complimented before." You lay your head on his lap. "Damn, you really spent me." You yawn as he takes his phone out, "Hell yeah I did." He sucks his teeth as he begins texting someone. "Who're you texting?" You say. "Just go to sleep, I'm texting Mina, the pink-haired chick you were twerking with in front of everyone." He says, his face going back to annoyed. "Geez man, I didn't know." You suck your teeth yourself. "Well, I got to fuck you, so I guess I can't stay mad." He shuts off his phone and pets your head. "We gotta get cleaned up, I'm not sleeping like this." He grumbles. "Sleep? Who said anything about that?" You tilt your head. "The way I did you tonight? Yeah, you're not gonna be able to go home." Bakugo laughs "What did you think I texted Mina about? I told her to send everyone home and that we're spending the night." He says. "Wouldn't you text Momo about-" You're interrupted by his phone chiming. He checks it and begins laughing. "Phaha! Guess what? We weren't the only ones fucking." He shows you his phone, and you see what he texted Mina first. "Why'd you just flat out tell her we had sex!?" You say, scrolling down to read he reply. "Psh, Todoroki and Momo? Even Deku and Ochaco?!" You laugh. "Yeah, I thought Deku would remain a virgin his whole life. Crazy, huh?" He chuckles. "Also, Mina been knew we woulda fucked. Look." He shows you another message. "Soooo tonights the night, huh😏? Use protection⛑️! Or don't, but no kids😤!" The message reads. You roll your eyes. "So everyone knew that we had history together but me, right?" You groan. "Pretty much." He laughs again. Suddenly, his phone chimes again. "OK, the guests r gone, all of the wasted temporary residents r all 🛀 ☝️ and 😴, ur turn. the 🛀 is nice and 🏃! i also brought a stretcher for (y/n) because i know she'll need it lmfaoo🚶" it reads. "Translation; the party people are gone, everyone else who fucked is washed up and asleep, so we can take our time." Bakugo sighs. "That extra does the damn most." He facepalms. "Wow, how reliable. But shouldn't we be asking Momo for permission to sleep here?" You ask, and your answer comes with another chime of his phone, the new message reading "i already asked and yamomo understood completely so the house is all urs 4 2nite. yw i know im the best😌" "Geez, she couldn't stand to use grammar every once in a while?" You laugh and roll your eyes. "C'mon." He stands up. You move to get up, but he ends up picking you up. "Wha-? Hey! Put me down!" You lightly hit his back. "Don't bother, you can't walk." He says. "Who says?" you grunt. "Fine, try." He puts you down on your feet gently, but you immediantly crash dwon onto your butt, which is also feeing sore from his tight ass-grabbing. He chuckles. "How come it took me to try standing up for my legs to start feeling sore?" You groan. "Told ya. It's not my fault you like it rough." He teases as he picks you up and slings you over his  shoulder. This time you don't fight, just making a pouty face and groaning from embarrassment and your sore legs. You lock eye contact as Mina patrols the main area. She uses body language to tell you she heard almost everything, and you shoot her a dirty look as she laughs and continues patrolling. You're surprised with a bath that's ready for you, courtesy of Mina. Maybe you can't stay too mad. He takes off your clothes and sets you in the bath, as you relax and rest your head on the could outer ring. Bakugo's eyes dart to your neck, dark

markings telling exactly where his hends went. It was like your own litte version of a hickey, which put a smile on his face. "Who knew you had a choking kink? that was a real surprise to me." He smiles meanly as you hide your face in embarrassment. "I didn't know." You groan in sheer embarrassment. "Relax, I won't be choking you gain anytime soon." He gumbles in slight annoyance. "But what if a villain does?" You ask. "Shit, I forgot about that. Haha! Just imagine that villains stupid face when you let out a moan because of him choking you." He chuckles. "Wouldn't you get jealous? Another man, maybe a woman, choking me?" You turn to face him. "Well, it's my job to beat their ass regardless so they're gonna end up dead anyways. 1, for being a villain, and 2, for putting their hands on my girl." He explains. You didn't need his hand, you almost choked on the word girl. "Yeah, I said it." He pours some shampoo in his hand, lathering them together and scrubbing your hair. "You gonna deny it?" He grumbles. "No, just didn't think you'd say it first." You admit. "Well, surprise surprise, I'm not the same kid I was back then." He sucks his teeth. "You kinda are. You always sucked your teeth like that and you have the samer personality if we're speaking vaguely." You explain. "Well, I changed a lot, idiot. What do you know?" He massages your head with his yet again, magical fingers. "I know that the only reason you're not yelling is because you're thinking of everyone sleeping. Funny, you weren't when you got a taste of me." You say matter-of-factly. "You always were a smartass. I don't even know why I ever liked you." He grumbles. "Yeah, that's probably gonna stay a mystery. I don't know why I like you either, you were always an annoyingly smart guy for yourself." You grumble as he rinses your hair and you wash yourself. Bakugo briefly leaves and comes back with an oversized t-shirt and underwear. You change into them while sitting on the toilet seat, and Bakugo's eyes widen a little as he comes to a realization. "Hey, that's my shirt! The bitch stole my shirt! How the hell'd she even get into my dorm!?" Bakugo yells. "I have my ways!" You can hear Mina call out to him. "God, she's lucky I'm tired." He groans as he scratches the back of his head. "And she's lucky that you look good in it." He smirks as he looks you up and down seductively. "What, round 2?" You ask. "No, I put all my energy into round 1." He sighs. "Good, so did I." You let out a big exhale. "Now your turn." You signal him to get in. "I'll wash myself, you're obviously in no condition to." Bakugo says. "I can." You huff. "Please, you'd have to crawl to get over here." He rolls his eyes. Your eyes drift to the sink as you see your favorite scent of lotion. You look to your knees, they were beginning to get ashy, so you grabbed the bottle and began applying it to your skin. Bakugo's watches as you massage your legs, like they weren't on fire now. He observed as your hands moved up and down your legs almost as a signal, and he actually started considering a round 2. He shook the thoughts out of his head as he washed himself quickly, and got out himself and changed. After brushing your teeth with the spare toothbrushes-Geez, Mina and Momo really thought of EVERYTHING, huh?- Bakugo carried you to your-of course she would- shared room. It wasn't until he was laying next to you, settling into bed, when the smell of your lotion hit him. Like a million bricks. He recognized it quickly, his favorite smell in the whole world. "Mmm." He hums as he brings you closer to him. "Is this..?" He asks. "It was just there. I know you like it," you said, teasing his nose with the smell. "Apple Spice." You say in unison. He hugs you, putting his nose in your shoulder as he inhales the smell deeply. "God, I haven't smelt this in so long. you used to wear it all the time when we were little." He sighs. "When I moved, I never stopped." You hug him back, snuggling into his chest. His breathing slowed, and you could tell he was about to fall asleep."(Y/n)...?" He sleepily says. His words

are slurred, and his eyes are closed. "Mm?" You hum, getting sleepy yourself. "I love you." He says, pulling you closer to him. The softest 'I love you' you've ever heard in your damn life. "I love you too." you replied softly. You thought that'd be the end, but Bakugo kept repeating it. "I love you so much, so fucking much, I love you." His repeats grew softer, as you repeated him the same amount of time he repeats himself. "So fucking much." are his last words before his breathing slows and silence follows you sigh of relief. "Finally, thought he'd never shut up." you laugh in your head, as you follow suit, saying a final 'I love you' be before drifting off to sleep in his arms.

Fin

[schrijverr]

A Phony Boyfriend

After moving into the dorms, class 1-A discovers that Bakugo is constantly on his phone. This leads to them discovering he has a boyfriend and going on a quest to find out as much as they can while Bakugo comes to terms with the fact that High School will be different than Middle School as well as his internalized homophobia.

On AO3.

Ships: Bakudeku

Warnings: mentions of past homophobia, internalized homophobia and fear of homophobia (no one is mean to them, dont worry)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Since moving into the dorms they had learned a lot about the others that they had not realized before.

Sato could bake really well, Iida had a really strict and strange work out routine, Jiro always had music in when she cooked, Momo liked tea, especially fancy tea, and Bakugo was completely glued to his phone after school.

The last one was very surprising, since Bakugo had never seemed like a phone person, usually ignoring texts and calls and never having his phone in class.

However, since they lived with him it became apparent that he was prone to typing away on his phone and ignoring everyone else in the room. He was still strict to himself about phone usage during school hours, but after school was out, it was fair game.

Naturally this made them curious to what their explosive classmate was doing on his phone, so after a few weeks Hagekure cracked. She fell on the couch next to Bakugo and asked: “What you doing?”

“Nothing,” Bakugo grumbled.

“Doesn’t look like nothing to me,” she replied innocently.

Bakugo rolled his eyes and said: “Just messaging people and stuff,” before going back to ignoring her.

“Your parents?” she asked, she was gaining an audience and she wanted to deliver as the person who had been brave enough to ask what all had been wondering.

“No,” was Bakugo’s curt response.

Hagakure’s eyes lit up and she sat up in excitement and asked: “A girlfriend?”

Bakugo wrinkled his nose and again said: “No.”

At this point Mina joined the conversation, as a patented pansexual, she felt this shouldn’t be the end of the investigation. So she asked: “A boyfriend, maybe?”

The effect was instant. Bakugo’s stilled and he stopped typing as he avoided their gazes even more than before and a light blush spread across his cheeks. His scowl deepened and he growled: “Shut the fuck up.”

It didn’t work, because the two girls gasped as they exclaimed: “Oh my god!” and “You have a boyfriend?”

“I said shut up,” Bakugo yelled, blushing even harder.

“But that’s so cute,” Hagakure whined, “You have to tell us more.”

“Yeah, Bakugo, you can’t leave us hanging after a revelation like that,” Mina pouted.

“I can and I will, now leave me alone,” Bakugo said, getting up.

“You’re not even going to tell us his name?” she asked.

“No,” Bakugo stomped off, his fingers once again dancing over the keyboard.

The two pouted harder, but didn’t pester him more. They were beyond curious, but also weren’t about to pry in their classmate’s life if he was uncomfortable with it. Still that didn’t stop them from theorizing.

“What do you think is his type?” Mina asked first.

“Probably tough and mean,” Hagakure replied, “They probably do stuff like boxing together and yell at movies.”

“Yeah, or they throw rocks and stuff,” Mina added.

“First off, this is such a weird thing to talk about,” Kirishima interrupted, “Second off, you two have no clue what people do on dates.”

“Oh, and you do, Eijiro?” Mina asked, “Do tell what you think Bakugo and his mystery boyfriend do on their dates.”

“Probably normal stuff, like drinking coffee and talking,” Kirishima shrugged, “I never really thought about my friend’s dating life.��

“You’re not even a but curious?” Hagakure asked.

“Of course I am, I’m just not going to theorize about it,” Kirishima said.

“Boring,” Mina booed, “Kaminari, Sero, Jirowhat do you think?”

“I think Bakugo would be surprisingly romantic,” said Kaminari.

“And I think you finally lost the last of your brain cells, Kaminari,” Mina jeered.

“That does seem unlikely,” Hagakure agreed.

Sero thought about it, then said: “I think he’s more of grand and flashy stuff, like his quirk. Maybe he does the flowers and stuff.”

“Where are the explosions here!” Mina complained.

“I don’t think he’s exploding his boyfriend, Mina,” Jiro pointed out.

While downstairs they were arguing about whether or not Bakugo would use explosions to be romantic, Bakugo himself was in his bedroom, panicking and calling Izu. “It must suck that you didn’t get to tell them in your own time, Kacchan,” Izu said, “But they sound like they reacted well, right?”

“I mean, yes, but what if they think it’s gross?”

“Kacchan, don’t call us gross,” Izu said sternly, “I thought you were getting better with the internalized stuff.”

“I know, I know, just- Ugh!” Kacchan let out a cry of frustration.

“It’s okay, Kacchan, I love you.”

And wasn’t that a soothing balm on all the turmoil in his brain. He couldn't help, but smile as he returned the sentiment: “I love you too, Izu.” Apause. “I’m sorry about freaking out on you, I truly love you, but I just panicked, because the class has been really cool and it would suck if they turned out to- you know?”

“I know, Kacchan, I understand,” Izu said, “But they sounded like they were cool, don’t ruin it for yourself for the small chance that they do. You’re amazing, they just have to deal with it.”

“I hate it when you’re right,” Kacchan sighed.

“Damn, I didn’t know my own boyfriend hated me all the time,” Izu teased.

“Shut up, you shitty nerd.”

“Never, Kacchan.”

“Good.” It was quiet for a moment, then Kacchan said: “I’m probably overreacting. I know that Kirishima is cool. He has two moms, loves them to death.”

“There you go,” Izu encouraged, “I like Kirishima from what you told me, he’ll be on your side if anyone’s a dick about it.”

“Yeah, yeah, he is, the idiot,” Kacchan said fondly.

“I’m so glad you made friends.”

“Oi, what’s that supposed to mean? I can make friends.”

“Everyone at kindergarten was afraid of you, Kacchan.”

“You weren’t and I bet it wasn’t everyone.”

“Okay, okay, but you can be an acquired taste,” Izu conceded, “What I meant to say is that I’m glad you have people in your corner, Kacchan. You know. Now that I can’t be there with you all the time. Or hardly any time.”

Kacchan nodded, he knew how worried Izu could get about stuff and he knew what the underlying message was. He replied: “I miss you too, Izu.”

There was a small little content huff from the other side of the line, then Izu said: “I have to go eat now, Kacchan. Update me on if it goes well, okay? I love you.”

“Love you,” Kacchan said right before the line went dead. He looked at the clock and groaned, he really should be going down for dinner as well.

On a logical level, he knew most – if not all – of class 1-A would be cool about him being gay and having a boyfriend, but a small part worried that his friends would fall away and turn on him, like they’d done in Middle School.

So with slight apprehension, he made his way downstairs.

Nothing seemed out of the ordinary with some bustling about to make everyone dinner and to set the table, where some were trying to quickly finish some homework. It was normal, peaceful and Bakugo was dreading its end.

Kirishima noticed him first and waved: “Oi, Bakubro, can you help me with this Math problem, Mina is being mean about it.”

“I’m not mean, he’s just stupid,” Mina protested.

All had decided to drop the subject of the mystery boyfriend for now. Especially after they’d gotten a lecture from Iida about prying into people’s business and when Fumikage had said: “Dark, the mind can be, when demons of the past have not yet been dismissed.”

It made them realize that maybe Bakugo wasn’t comfortable with the revelation and it had made them feel terrible.

So, they didn’t say a thing.

Cautiously Bakugo made his way over to Kirishima, trying to see if this was a set up or if they had really blessed him with silence.

Kirishima was really struggling with a Math problem. Bakugo knew it wasn’t a set up both because Kirishima would be too honest for it and because it was a problem he had struggled with in the past and could never seem to get.

Beside him Mina was painting her nails. Bakugo saw that her thumb and pinky were black, but the other fingers were painted in the pan flag colors. A bit of relief, loosened in his chest.

Mina saw him looking and smiled, before winking and going back to work on her other hand, while Bakugo explained to Kirishima again that if a full circle was 360 degree, half a circle would be 180 degrees, so the triangle corner couldn't be more than a 180 degrees.

During dinner it was as peaceful as it would get and Bakugo felt himself relaxing.

He didn’t stick around to figure out if the peace would last, instead fleeing to the patio out front and leaning against the wall as he watched the stars. Silently he wished Izu could be there with him and point out the constellations.

His peace was in the end broken by Kirishima, who lowered himself next to Bakugo. He was quiet for a moment, then asked: “Is he treating you right?”

“What?” Bakugo couldn't help but be slightly confused.

“The boyfriend, is he good to you?” Kirishima asked.

“Are you going to defend my honor otherwise or something,” Bakugo rolled his eyes, immensely surprised when Kirishima’s response was: “Yes, if I have to.”

It touched Bakugo’s heart in a way he wasn’t ready to deal with so he just softly said: “He is. Good, I mean. He’s very good. The best, actually. Maybe a bit better than the best.”

That made Kirishima smile. He liked that his friend had someone in his corner, who wasn’t in the middle of the chaos that was their life and could support him. He nodded: “That’s good to hear, Bakubro. I’m happy for you.”

After that it was quiet.

Then, in the softest voice, which was so vulnerable that it broke Kirishima’s heart in little pieces while simultaneously it made him want to punch someone, Bakugo asked: “You are?”

“Yeah, of course, what else should I be?”

“I- I don’t know, disappointed? Angry?” Bakugo sounded helpless in his own confusion.

“Why?”

“That it’s a he.”

Kirishima hated how quickly Bakugo had the answer to that question, so he pulled Bakugo into a side hug and said: “I will never be angry or disappointed because of that. I swear it. And no one else will be either, and if they are they’ll deal with my fists and then with the principle.”

“Thank you,” Bakugo whispered.

“No problem,” Kirishima said back.

They sat there for a moment, then Kirishima confessed: “I’ve been send by the others, because I was least likely to get blown to bits. Uhm, most wanted to say sorry for prying and also that they support you.”

Bakugo chuckled at that. In the silence he had come to terms with the fact that High School might be different and an elated feeling had loosened in his chest. He grinned: “That’s good. Did they also send you to spy?”

Kirishima blushed and quickly said: “I wasn’t going to.”

“So yes?”

“Yes.”

“Well, tell them thanks and also that it’s none of their business, but also that they will catch my hands if I hear them badmouthing him, because he’s an angel.”

“I will,” Kirishima rolled his eyes, then got up, “I’ll give you your time here. Don’t stay out too late.”

“Yes, mom,” Bakugo stuck out his tongue and got a similar gesture in return.

In the end no one saw Bakugo until the next morning, where he pretended nothing had ever happened. Though he did carry himself more lightly and Mina spotted a small rainbow key chain on his bag, which made her smile.

But since he wasn’t acknowledging it any further, neither were they. They would keep their silence until Bakugo was ready to talk about it.

However, they were also way too curious about the mysterious boy that had managed to captivate the most stand-off and anti-social person in their class. The one who had the hardest time befriending people.

He should be lucky they lasted two weeks.

After those two weeks they couldn't take it anymore. So, when Bakugo was once again typing away on his phone Mina exclaimed: “I can’t do this anymore, Bakugo you have to tell me more about your secret boyfriend. I demand to know as fellow queer in crime.”

“You demand to know as nosy asshole, raccoon,” Bakugo retorted.

“Then I demand to know as nosy asshole, just tell me something, anything,” she practically begged.

“Well, if you must know, we’re talking about All Might,” he told her.

“Is he a fan?” Mina would take any bit of information and she watched in wonder as something in Bakugo’s face turned gentle and a smile creeped up his face. He nodded: “The biggest one out there, the idiot.”

“Does he want to be a hero too?” she asked.

“Nah,” Bakugo said, “He wanted to, for a long time, but he’s actually on his way to become a nurse, specializing in hero incidents and support. Always talking about being my back up and making sure I don’t die from recklessness.”

Mina couldn't help but smile at the fond tone in Bakugo’s voice and she mentally adjusted the picture of rough-stone-throwing-hooligan to a softer yet strong teen, who carried an injured Bakugo through the streets.

“That’s so cute,” she squealed.

Bakugo rolled his eyes at her reaction, but secretly agreed. It was very cute how worked up Izu would get over his safety and how he fussed over every little injury while scolding him.

Still, he didn’t give her more information than that, because Izu had finally finished typing his half analysis, half rant over the latest All Might incident report. He was arguing that All Might was loosing power, which Bakugo thought was kinda stupid, so he had to go an tell him that.

With Mina not being completely shut down, the floodgates opened with Hagakure asking about Izu when they were sitting on the couch and Sero during lunch, while others also tried to get a bit of information out of him.

All curious about Izu.

Bakugo would never admit it to another breathing soul, except Izu, but he was touched that they cared so much. That they weren’t trying to ignore the gay part, but were actively trying to learn more about it.

“Then why don’t you say anything, Kacchan?” Izu asked after he had told him about it.

“Because I like having you for myself,” Kacchan pouted.

“Ahw, how sweet,” Izu smiled, he liked how Kacchan would say the most romantic things, just because he was honest at heart and meant it.

“Oh, shut up.”

“No, but Kacchan, it was super sweet, I like the idea of a secret romance, it’s very cute,” he smiled, “But I’m afraid you’ll have to do it by yourself, I showed my friends pictures of you and they follow me online.”

“So you do care about me,” Kacchan teased, knowing how much the other did.

“Of course, I do. You’re the greatest and I love you very much.”

“Love you too.”

“Did you manage to get permission to leave next weekend? Because I can make it home as well and mom promised she’ll make both curry and katsudon, if you come over,” Izu said.

“I still have to hear back from Aizawa-sensei,” he replied, “But I really want to. I need to ask auntie her recipe, mine hasn’t been turning out like hers.”

“You made curry?”

“Yeah, it was my turn to cook and I wanted curry,” Kacchan shrugged.

“That’s so funny to picture,” Izu giggled.

The sound of his boyfriend’s giggles made his heart lighter, but he still said: “Oi, what’s that supposed to mean, I’m a good cook!”

“I guess you’ll have to show me sometime.”

“I will, just you wait.”

“Looking forward to it.” There was a short lull in conversation, then Izu asked: “Have you been eating alright? Since you have to cook, are the others doing their part? A good diet is important, especially with all the physical stuff you have to do. We’re currently having a nutrition course and I’m worried about you.”

“I’m eating fine, Izu, promise,” Kacchan said, “There have been a few we had to ban from the kitchen, but we’re eating fine. I was about to grab a snack actually.”

“Good to hear. What are you grabbing?”

“I don’t know yet. And I’m not grabbing it just now, I’m still talking to you and that’s way more fun.”

“Why can’t you do both?”

“What?”

“I mean, I think I can survive it if you grab a snack while talking to me, Kacchan. I believe in your multitasking skills.”

“That’s not the concern, Izu,” Kacchan whined.

“Ahw, come on. Pretty please, Kacchan? I can help you pick a snack! I have my notes here, I know everything about ultimate snacking,” Izu was starting to get excited, “Just tell me what you’ve eaten and I’ll figure out what nutrients you missed today. They gave us charts.”

Kacchan knew the moment that hint of excitement crept into Izu’s voice, he would be sold. He just couldn't say no to that, so he relented: “Okay, okay,” before telling Izu what he wanted to know and going to the kitchen.

A few of his classmates that were still left at that hour looked up when he entered, some raising their brow at the phone squished between his shoulder and ear. To those he gave a middle finger, because he was too busy listening to Izu ramble to want to talk to them.

“So, what options do we have?” Izu’s voice rang in his ear.

“Got some leftover rice, pocky, umeboshi, some peaches and taiyaki,” he listed, “And like condiments and raw stuff, but I’m not cooking.”

As the only one of their friends here Kaminari was listening in and getting more confused by the second. Why would Bakugo be listing what they had in their kitchen of all things?

Kacchan waited as he listened, before saying: “Oh, really?”

His voice was genuine as if he was interested in the answer he received. He grabbed the rice and listened to whatever the person on the other side of the line was saying.

Then Kacchan said: “You’d do that for me?” a beat, “Wait, wait a second, idiot. I don’t have anything to write here. No, you don’t have to type it out, I can write,” then he hurried up the stairs with his bowl.

The next morning Kaminari asked what that was about and Bakugo shrugged: “Izu’s taking a course about nutrients, he made me an eating chart.”

“Izu?” Kaminari repeated, thinking it was a professional Bakugo went to to stay in shape. He didn’t think it improbably that Bakugo would call a professional idiot.

But then Bakugo blushed and cursed slightly and even Kaminari could put together who the name actually belonged to.

His eyes went wide with the realization.

Bakugo had been secretive about his boyfriend, telling everyone to stop being nosy dicks, which did not at all discourage anyone from trying to find out more, curiosity being fulled by mystery.

Kaminari did the smart thing and stopped talking, only mentioning it to the other during lunch, which surprisingly Bakugo did nothing with.

He didn’t mind that much, he was just scared that if ‘boyfriend’ actually became a person, people would freak out, but so far they all had been nice and Izu was encouraging him to get out of his shell and find confidence in who he was. He also felt like Izu deserved all the praise and not someone who he thought was ashamed of him.

Because he wasn’t.

Bakugo was incredibly proud of his boyfriend, who was not only a lovely and amazing person, but also very talented and deeply caring, while managing to be smart on top of it all.

So when during lunch Kaminari - albeit with an apologetic look - asked: “Izu pick that out for you?” he just sighed, before nodding.

Mina perked up immediately and looked between Bakugo and Kaminari, then back, before her eyes got big with excitement and she asked: “Izu is your boyfriend’s name?”

Deciding to just give in on that point, he explained: “Yeah, well, it’s- it’s a nickname, but it feels weird to say his full name.”

“And I’m guessing you’re not going to give us his full name so we can look him up,” she pouted, already scrolling through the location tag of Bakugo’s home to see if she could find a username with Izu in it.

“No,” Bakugo chuckled, “And you’re not finding him there either. He’s in Tokyo right now.”

“Oh, yeah, he’s becoming a nurse right?” Kirishima recalled.

“Isn’t there that really big nursing school in Tokyo?” Jiro commented, “I heard it’s very prestigious.”

“It is,” Bakugo bragged, “Izu got in top of his class.”

“That’s so cool,” Kaminari said, “Your eating schedule must be super good then.”

Bakugo nodded: “Yeah, he was already working on it. He picked me to focus on for the hero they would have to make a schedule for. He’s an idiot, but it’s sweet, I guess.”

“Ahww,” some of the others commented, before the conversation moved on from there.

He was in a good mood with his friends remembering stuff he’d told them and getting to brag about his boyfriend a bit. A boyfriend that he would probably see that weekend.

The very next day that was gone, he came into class with Aizawa, arguing with his teacher: “You have to let me go, sir. Why can’t I go? Please, you don’t understand.”

“I understand Bakugo, but whatever you have planned can wait another week,” Aizawa said.

“It can’t, it has to be this week.”

“Then I’m very sorry for you, but too many students are already leaving, there just isn’t a spot free. It happens,” Aizawa explained.

“But sir-”

“No, Bakugo, end of discussion,” Aizawa cut him off, leaving Bakugo frustrated and upset. He had his fist and jaw clenched and he was hunched in a fighting stand while simultaneously managing to look very small.

“Bakubro?” Kirishima asked tentatively, “What happened?”

He didn’t want to be this upset, but he had fucking missed Izu so much and he had been looking forwards to it and then it had been crushed right before his eyes. Much to his horror tears were beginning to gather in his eyes.

“Bro?” Kirishima asked again.

“I can’t go home this weekend,” he finally managed to get out, fighting off the tears, “Izu gets to go home too this weekend and we were going to spend it together. I- I just want to see him again, but the spots to go home for the weekend are already full.”

“Oh, Bakugo, that must suck so hard,” Mina sympathized.

Others had similar sentiments, no one had ever seen the explosive blond like that. Then help came from the most unlikely source, Todoroki. He said: “You can have my slot.”

“Really?” Bakugo asked, not even insulting the other boy.

Todorokithought of the awkward and painful family dinner he would have to attend, before nodding firmly: “Yeah, I have nothing important. It can be rescheduled easily.”

“Thank you, Icy-Hot,” Bakugo grinned, lighting up immediately.

Henodded back and that was the end of the conversation.

The weekend came and Bakugo practically ran out of the dorm Friday afternoon, yelling a quick goodbye and muttering something about train arrivals when he passed.

He was on time for the train, even managing to snatch up some flowers on his way to the station and before he knew it, he had an excited green haired boy in his arms again.

It all passed by much faster than Bakugo wanted and before he knew it he was walking back into UA with only memories of doing homework together, picnicking in the park they used to explore as kids, whispering till deep in the night and laughing together in the kitchen.

When he got back the others noticed how he carried himself slightly different and they tried to pry details out of during lunch. He told them nothing more besides: “It was fun.”

Until they were in the dorms and Bakugo walked up to Todoroki, obviously not wanting to, with something in his hands. He trusted out a little packed and said: “Izu would be mad if I didn’t give these to you. They’re a thank you for giving up your spot.”

“Oh, uhm, thank you…” Todoroki said, inspecting the packet.

“They’re cookies, dumbass. You’ve seen those before,” Bakugo snapped.

Mina jumped on his back and cooed: “Ahw, did Izu make cookies.”

“More, me and auntie,” Bakugo snorted, “Izu can do much, but he’s a disaster in the kitchen. He manged to burn water once, that was an experience.”

“I didn’t know you can bake,” Sero said.

“It’s not really I do often and auntie is better at it, I just know how not to burn stuff,” Bakugo shrugged.

“The opposite of your quirk,” Kaminari joked, getting some laughs.

“But you and Izu baked together?” Mina got them back on topic, “What else did you do?”

“None of your business, raccoon,” Bakugo informed her, finally getting her off his back.

She shrugged: “Worth a try.”

“Can I see the cookies, Todoroki?” Hagakure asked.

“Oh, sure,” Todoroki showed her the cookies and she giggled: “They’re All Might shaped.”

“Really?” other went to go see and the cookies were indeed in the shape of All Might’s head with pink icing on it.

“It was the only one we had,” Bakugo blushed, omitting that there had been heart shaped ones as well and he had a packet of those himself that Izu decorated, while he had decorated the ones Izu had taken with him to Tokyo.

After the others tricked Todoroki out of most of his cookies, they went to get started on all the homework they’d gotten today.

Everyone had been nothing but positive about his boyfriend, even his self appointed nemesis had given up his own weekend home for him to go see Izu. With all the nice reactions, Bakugo was pretty certain it wouldn’t be a repeat of Middle School and was commenting more and more about things related to Izu.

He commented that Izu would have loved seeing everyone training to upgrade their quirk, because he loved quirks in general, but especially weaknesses and how they could turn on the user and how to avoid that.

And he explained that katsudon was Izu’s favourite food when they asked him how he’d gotten so good at making it.

But all the good things couldn't stop the bad nights that still plagued him.

So when he had awoken from a nightmare, he called Izu awake, knowing that the other told him to not feel guilty about and to just do it.

In the end he found himself on the kitchen floor, feeling much calmer while Izu finished his story of what a classmate had done that day. When he was done it was quiet for a moment, then Kacchan softly said: “Thank you, Izu.”

“Of course, Kacchan. Try to sleep, okay?” Izu replied, “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Kacchan returned, before hanging up.

After he’d hung up, he noticed a form in the doorway. He looked up and saw Kirishima standing in the doorway in his pajama pants. He looked like a deer in headlight and said: “I haven’t been listening in, I just got here.”

“It’s fine,” Bakugo sighed, “free world.”

“Hey, are you okay?” Kirishima noticed the state Bakugo was in.

“No, I just like calling my boyfriend in the middle of the night while he needs his rest as well for fun,” he said sarcastically.

“Oh, yeah, sorry.”

“Don’t worry, just tired,” Bakugo rubbed his eyes, regretting snapping at Kirishima, when the cheery boy was one of the last people to deserve it.

Kirishima sat down next to him and said: “It’s okay. I can’t imagine you’re here because you want to be.”

“Tell me about it,” Bakugo rolled his eyes, “I didn’t wake you up, did I?”

“Nah, I got thirsty,” Kirishima said, “Do you want to talk about what woke you up?”

“Not really, Izu already forced me to tell him that was enough for one night,” Bakugo told him, “I was gathering the energy to go back to sleep again.”

“Good that you’re at least talking to someone,” Kirishima said, “Here, I’m making us tea, then we’ll go back to bed together. Sound good?”

“Sounds perfect.”

They didn’t speak of the meeting the next morning nor after that, but Kirishima did take up the habit of asking Bakugo if he’d slept well, earning him an eyeroll and Bakugo telling he already had one mother hen in his life.

Though he did answer every time.

It was just life in the dorms. Everyone had gotten used to living with the others and slowly they were becoming more comfortable with each other and turning into a slightly dysfunctional and highly chaotic family.

Which meant that by the time Bakugo was comfortable calling Izu in the common area the others had no qualms about interrupting him.

He had called Izu more often, but usually walked out of the room after a few minutes. However that time period had become longer and longer and he had been talking to Izu for nearly 45 minutes already, mostly telling him about his own day and listening to Izu talk about his.

Right now the conversation had wondered to a recent villain take-down by The Lurkers and the strategy team up of Mt. Lady and Kamui Woods.

So, Mina walked over and whined: “This is boring, Bakugo. Here, gimme the phone,” as she grabbed for his phone.

He ducked and shouted: “Oi, raccoon, leave me the fuck alone.”

“But Bakugo, I wanna talk to Izu,” Mina pouted, grabbing for the phone again, “You’re being boring and it’s not fun to listen in if you’re talking about heroes. We already hear about heroes constantly.”

“You’re not talking to him, piss off,” Bakugo danced away from Mina’s hand, but she was on his tail and they were running around the table.

As they ran Izu’s confused voice came over the speaker: “Kacchan?”

“Sorry, Izu, I’m being chased!” Bakugo yelled.

“Are you okay?” Izu asked concerned.

“Yeah, just a raccoon on my tale.”

“I’m not a raccoon!”

“You mean Mina?” Izu laughed.

“Yes!” Bakugo yelpedright as he tripped onto the couch. Mina immediate took the chance and jumped to wrestle the phone out of his hands.

Success.

She ran off with her prize, holding the phone to her ear as she greeted: “Hi, Izu! I don’t know your full name, but I’m Mina, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Hi, Mina, I’m Izuku,” a light and friendly voice greeted her.

“Bakugo only ever gives us grains about you,” Mina said, “So, tell me more.”

“Oh, uhm, I- I don’t really know. I- uh, I like heroes, you were really cool at the sports festival, I was really rooting for you,” Izu answered, voice getting more steady once he got talking about her quirk, “I do hope you’re immune to your own acid or that would be a problem.”

“It’s not a problem, but it’s fun that your brain jumps to that with you becoming a hero nurse,” Mina said.

“Oh, haha, didn’t even realize that,” Izuku chuckled awkwardly.

At this point Bakugo had freed himself from Sero and Kaminari, who had aided Mina in her quest to talk to Izuku and was going after her again, while having the two boys on his own trail, who in turn had Kirishima after them to stop them from stopping Bakugo.

Mina set off running again, panting into the phone: “Your boyfriend is chasing me, help. What do I say to calm him down? You’re the Bakugo whisperer.”

Izuku laughed at that, before telling her to put him on speaker. She did and he called out: “Kacchan, Kacchan!”

“Nerd,” Bakugo yelled back, “Are you okay.”

“I’m fine, Kacchan,” Izuku shouted back, “It’s fun, come on, it’s not the end of the world. Pinky promise I won’t tell them about the ant incident.”

Bakugo stopped chasing Mina, much to her delight and surprise. He just walked over to her, no more threatening steps, and just said: “You promise?”

“I promise,” Izuku said, “You can put me on speaker and I can say hi to people. I heard so much about them, but never even said hi. Pretty please?”

“Okay, okay.”

Sero coughed: “Whipped,” and subsequently got an elbow in the side from Mina, who didn’t want this opportunity to get taken from her.

Bakugo took the phone back and walked to the couch, where he sat down. Mina, Hagaure, Kaminari, Sero and Kirishima all crouched around the phone and Jiro also made her way over from where she had been ignoring most of the chaos.

Izuku greeted everyone first: “Hi, I’m Midoriya Izuku, it’s nice to meet you all, whoever is there with Kacchan right now.”

Kaminari giggled: “Kacchan.”

“Shut up,” Bakugo blushed.

“I’m Kaminari Denki,” Kaminari ignored Bakugo.

“I m Kirishima Eijiro.” Kirishima said cheerily, “Hi!”

“Sero Hanta, nice to meet you.”

“And I’m Hagakure Toru, I’m so excited to hear from you.”

“Oh, and I’m Jiro Kyoka,” Jiro added.

“And I’m still here as well!” Mina said.

“Hello everyone,” there was clearly a smile in Midoriya’s voice, “I’ll try to remember all your names, some are familiar, so I think I’ll manage, but sorry if I mess up.”

“Of course, no problem,” Hagakure said.

“Do you have anything embarrassing about Bakugo we could use against him?” Kaminari asked.

“Probably,” Midoriya said, “Though, I don’t know if he’ll like metelling you. He can be a bit grumpy when I turn on him and I would like to keep my cuddle privileges.”

“I doubt you can loose them with how Bakugo raves on about you,” Kirishima said, hardening his side for the elbow he knew was coming.

“Ahw, he talks about me?” Midoriya said.

“It’s adorable,” Hagakure told him.

“That’s so nice to hear. He was really scared of opening up, it’s good that he’s comfortable around you all. You’re really good friends, even if he isn’t the best at telling you all,” Midoriya was audibly relieved and the ones around the phone were strangely proud of making that tone appear.

“And we’re glad he has you to talk to,” Kirishima added, “You sound really manly and cool, bro.”

“You guys done with your circle jerk,” Bakugo grouched.

“Don’t be mean, Kacchan,” Midoriya admonished.

“How did you two meet?” Mina asked, not minding a topic change.

“We’ve always known each other,” Midoriya said, “We lived in the same neighborhood and played in the same playground since we were little. High School is the first time we’ve been apart for so long ever.”

“Ahw, a childhood friends to lovers trope,” Hagakure gushed.

“Kind of, yeah,” Midoriya laughed.

“We still didn’t get the embarrassing stories,” Kaminari whined as Sero loudly agreed, much to Bakugo’s displeasure.

“Well, there was that time with the cold,” Midoriya mused.

“Izu, no,” Bakugo said horrified.

“Midoriya, please tell us!” the others cheered.

“Sorry, Kacchan, majority rules,” Midoriya said, a bit of little shit shining through, “So, Kacchan had a cold, but he came to school anyway, because he’s an idiot.”

“I take offense to that.”

“Than take offense, babe, it was stupid,” Midoriya shot back, “He had no voice at all left, Little Mermaid style, and was carrying around a notebook to communicate. He had a bit of a croak left, but he definitely shouldn’t be talking.”

They were all listening closely, except for Bakugo who was pouting and leaning back, but he wasn’t interrupting. He liked listening to Izu talk even if it was to embarrass him in front of his friends.

“But then some kids came up to me during recess,” Midoriya went on, “And they were calling me names, just being mean, not important.”

“It is important, they were dicks,” Bakugo groused.

“Yeah, Kacchan, I know, but it’s not now the point, don’t deflect,” Midoriya said, “So, Kacchan comes to save me, very sweet of him, my own prince in shining armor.”

Hagakure, Mina and Kirishima cooed at that.

“However, while it was very sweet, Kacchan had forgotten that he didn’t have a voice,” there was a bit laughter, “So, when he came running, yelling, there was no yelling, just a soft little long croak like so.”

Midoriya imitated a frog like croak, causing more laughter and giggles.

“And that wasn’t even the end, because the little croak didn’t stop him. He pushed them away and told them they were dick bags, but all that came out was bags,” Midoriya finished, “He was Mr. Bagsfor weeks.”

There were peels of laughter and chocked off repeated of ‘Mr. Bags’ while Bakugo pushed them away with a ‘shut up.’

“Tells us more, tell us more,” was chanted, but then a sort of loud alarm went of in the background.

Bakugo seized the phone and asked: “Are you okay, Izu?”

“I’m fine, Kacchan,” Midoriya didn’t sound shaken or scared, which calmed everyone, “It’s a training exercise. Some second years told me about it, it’s because you can’t count on normal hours when supporting heroes and they can need you at any moment. I have to go respond to the call. Talk to you later. It was nice to meet you all. Love you, Kacchan.”

“Love you too. Good luck,” Bakugo was just in time before Midoriya hung up.

It was quiet for a moment, then Kaminari chocked: “Kacchan,” and everyone lost it again.

“Oh, shut up, he started calling me that when we were like three,” Bakugo rolled his eyes, but he couldn't mind the laughter that much after talking with Izu and his friends being nice to his boyfriend after all the shit he had meeting new people.

“Midoriya is such a sweetheart,” Hagakure told him, “He’s such a pleasant person.”

“Yeah, not at all Mr. Stone Thrower, I imagined him to be,” Mina agreed.

“Stone thrower?” Bakugo frowned.

“You don’t wanna know,” Kirishima told him and Bakugo decided it would be better not to ask, so he just said: “Alright. But Izu isn’t that sweet. Well, he is, of course, but he can be a little shit. Didn’t you just hear him, be mean to me?”

“Ahw, little Kacchan has a boo-boo on his ego,” Kaminari managed before Bakugo jumped him.

“Don’t call me Kacchan,” he yelled.

“What else should we call you then,” Sero grinned from the couch, “Mr. Bags.”

“I hate you all!”

“But we’re really good friends, Bakubro,” Kirishima teased.

“Not you too. I’ll kill you,” Bakugo screamed, but no one could take his threats seriously after the sweet and kind voice of Midoriya had just told them how much Bakugo secretly cares about them and called him ‘Kacchan.’

Later Mina would pout and tell him she couldn't find Midoriya Izuku anywhere online and Bakugo would grin and shrug, not sharing that his boyfriend’s username was @AllMightssuperfan everywhere. Izu had been religious about online safety and had never shared his name on any of his accounts.

And the next time he was calling with Izu, multiple people told him to say hi, with Sero grinning: “Tell your nice half hi from me.”

He was glad that the others liked Izu. His boyfriend had had enough trouble with people being mean to him for no reason, but his friends had taken a liking to him almost instantly.

Though they seem to have a mental picture of Izu in which he was a sweetheart. This in itself wasn’t a lie, Izu was one of the kindest people Kacchan knew, but it wasn’t just kindness. The other could be ruthless if he was angry and was a bigger trouble magnet than Kacchan with a dose of little shit built in permanently.

Still, Bakugo was trying to think of a way to introduce his friends to his boyfriend, but with the safety measures surrounding UA that was more difficult than expected.

Luckily it soon happened by chance.

Class 1-A would be going to a training exercise in Tokyo, where they would learn to be mindful of property destruction and building safety.

The training exercise would have taught them how to spot when a building was about to fall, how certain walls and pillars were integral to the structure staying upright and how they could see if there were important electric wires or water lines in the ground.

However, it was Class 1-A and things never really went the way they wanted and planned, so naturally the class was attacked while at the training facility that lay between multiple schools in the area.

Though, since it was also Class 1-A they had enough experience to fight off the attack without any life-threatening injuries. So, they were only mildly scraped up and injured by the time they defeated the villains.

They were barely catching their breath when a form of green was running towards them, multiple people on their trail. As the person got closer they heard them yell: “Kacchaaaaan!!”

Bakugo whipped his head up and Kirishima, Mina and Jiro dredged themselves up into a protective stance at this newcomer, until Momo commented: “Huh, that’s the uniform of the nursing school nearby.”

That comment and name tickled something in the back of their minds, but they were tired and the pieces wouldn’t yet click.

The person was nearby and they saw it was a green haired boy with freckles and a face that was more prone to laughter even if it was frowning now. He shouldered past Kirishima and Mina, who were in his way more prominently, before kneeling next to Bakugo and grabbing the first aid kit that hung around his shoulder.

“Hey,” Kirishima said, though he didn’t stop the boy, seeing that he was friendly.

“Izu?” Bakugo said, horridly confused.

At that everyone turned and looked at the boy, wide eyes as finally it all added up. He had called Bakugo Kacchan and wore the uniform of a Tokyo nursing school. With Bakugo identifying him, it was easy to see that this was his boyfriend.

However, before any of the could react, Midoriya was scolding Bakugo: “You absolute, idiot. Do you know how worried I was? We got a warning there was a villain attack ongoing and then I heard yourexplosions and when I looked out the window I saw you fall. You know better than to go that high.”

“I’m sorry, Izu, but-”

“You can save your sorry, Kacchan,” Izu huffed, “Let me check you over first. Are there any spots you landed on or that ache?”

“My ribs,” Kacchan decided it was better to let his boyfriend fuss, feeling bad about worrying the already natural anxious boy.

The rest of the class stood in shocked silence at the interaction. Then the people following Midoriya arrived, apologizing to Aizawa as one explained: “Midoriya ran out before we could stop him, I apologize on his behalf as class president. We’re Class 1-A of Tokyo School of Nursing, nearby. We also came to help if needed, but we’re only first years.”

They showed their first aid kits and Aizawa said: “It’s fine, I suppose. Don’t cause any trouble. I’ll see if we can get police on sight and medical professionals with a license.”

“I’m sure a few of our teachers will be here soon, but we’ll see what we can do,” the class president bowed along with the other four students that had run after Midoriya, before setting to work, checking everyone over and tending to their wounds when possible.

Kirishima and Mina were being looked over, while gawking at Bakugo and Midoriya. Midoriya had checked over Bakugo’s ribs and bandaged them and was now cleaning the cuts on his face, while saying: “You’re going to be the death of me.”

“Sorry, Izu,” Kacchan replied, “I don’t mean to get caught up in these things.”

“I know and I’m going to have to get used to this, aren’t I?” Izu sniffled, “I just saw you fall and I reacted before I even knew.”

“Hey, I’ll be more careful, promise,” Kacchan said.

“You better, I’m telling on you to auntie next time I see her, maybe I’ll even call her tonight and next time you’re over we’re not eating curry,” Izu’s jaw set, “I’m pissed at you for throwing your life so easily in the balance. I thought your whole thing was to learn to save people, include yourself in the definition of people.”

“I do that!” Kacchan squawked indignantly.

“Sure, whatever you say, Kacchan,” Izu obviously didn’t believe him, “That’s why you always died a dramatic death every time we played hero.”

“You were just as dramatic, weeping over my death,” Kacchan protested.

“Of course, my knight in shining armor disappeared,” Izu laughed, “Now, you need to watch those wounds. I don’t think they need stitches, but I would advise against touching them and make sure they don’t start to get infected. The moment they show signs of swelling, discoloration or heating up, you go tell someone.”

Kacchan listened closely to the instructions and Izu finished: “Also try not to put any strain on your ribs. No sudden movements, no jumping, no twisting. Rest them. You hear me, Kacchan, rest.”

“Yeah,” Kacchan nodded, before smirking, “But you forgot something.”

“What?” Izu frowned, going over the steps mentally, trying to figure out what he skipped and how Kacchan would even know that.

“You still have to kiss it better,” Kacchan informed him with a grin.

Izu sighed, but there was a small smile playing around his lips as he said: “That’s not very professional, now is it, Mr. Bakugo?”

“I think you can hardly call that scolding you just gave me professional, angel,” Kacchan shot back.

“Touche,” Izu agreed, before leaning in and kissing the scrapes on Kacchans knuckles and cheek, before kissing him on his lips and whispering, “I’m not kissing your ribs in public.”

At that Kacchan blinked the dazed, sappy look out of his eyes and remembered his class was right there and he wasn’t alone with his boyfriend. With the elation of seeing Izu wearing off and making way for embarrassment, he blushed heavily.

“Ahw, blush-y Kacchan, so cute,” Izu commented, not at all feeling bad for his boyfriend’s embarrassment.

Mina practically skipped forward when the student tending to the gash in her arm finally let her go. She stuck out her hand: “I’m Ashido Mina, we met on the phone, I believe.”

“Midoriya Izuku, you’d be correct,” Midoriya smiled, shaking her hand, “Kacchan really told me so much about you all, it’s nice to finally meet you in person.”

“And I’m Kirishima Eijiro,” Kirishima wanted to make contact, before either Bakugo or Aizawa dragged them away.

“Oh, hi!” Midoriya said, “Kacchan was right about the hair being dramatic, I like your costume. It fits really well.”

“Ah, thanks,” Kirishima blushed, “It’s Crimson Riot inspired.”

“You’re a fan?” Midoriya asked, “Good choice, he’s great. Him during All Mights Silver Age was unrivaled. Their team up was so cool.”

“I know right,” Kirishima was glad someone saw how right his opinion was.

“Enough boring bullshit,” Mina pushed him away, “I want to get your social media @ because I couldn't find you anywhere.”

“Ah, yeah, sorry,” Midoriya rubbed the back of his head, “It’s @AllMightssuperfan.”

She quickly typed something, before grinning: “Now I’m following you. I have to say it’s been a trip to meet you.”

“I can imagine thatno one thought this would be the meeting, yes,” Midoriya smiled.

Bakugo walked up behind him, not liking his boyfriend leaving him for his friends. He put his head on Midoriya’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around Midoriya’s waist, not letting up his scowl as he said: “You’re also an idiot for running towards an active attack.”

“It was already ending by the time I arrived,” Midoriya waved it away.

“I can still be mad about that,” Bakugo pouted.

“Suppose you can,” Midoriya shrugged, leaning his head against Bakugo’s, “I will try to be more careful, but just as your job is going to become running into danger, mine is going to be running after you.”

“Ahww,” Hagakure gushed, finally having made her way over to the other.

Midoriya looked confused for a moment at the sound of a new voice before he spotted the gloves, then he greeted: “You must be Hagakure Toru.”

“I am!”

“You’re not injured are you?” Midoriya frowned, “It would be hard to see if you’re hit.”

“Ah, yes, it would,” Hagakure said, “But don’t worry, I’m fine!”

“That’s good to hear,” Midoriya smiled, before he mused to himself, “There isn’t really much training about what to do when you can’t see the patient, say that she ever gets knocked unconscious.”

“Stop mumbling, Izu,” Bakugo snapped him out of it.

“Oh, sorry, I get caught up in my head,” Midoriya apologized.

But before he could get back to talking with Bakugo’s classmates a severe looking lady sternly called out: “Midoriya Izuku, come here right now.”

Midoriya stiffened, before whispering: “That’s my homeroom teacher. Sorry, gotta go,” the he hurried over to the lady.

She put her hands on her hips, before scolding: “What on earth were you thinking, running off in the middle of class like that? Towards a fight, no less. That was very dangerous young man and you will be punished accordingly.”

“Sorry, sensei,” Midoriya said softly, then he looked up defiantly, “But I still stand by my decision to run.”

“What?” the teacher exclaimed, along with a few bystanders.

Kirishima hissed into Bakugo’s ear: “What is he doing? He’s already in trouble.”

Bakugo smiled, looking a bit proud, then answered: “He might be an idiot, but he is an idiot with a heart. If he thinks he did the right thing, he will stand by it.”

“If we’re just going of response,” Midoriya indeed defended himself, “I was here first. Actual licensed medical professionals had to be called after the fact. You always press how importance time is and how it can save or costs life, sensei. We got extra experience and ensured that if there had been serious injuries, we could hold down the fort until an ambulance got here.”

The teacher hesitated, then her shoulders sagged slightly. She smiled gently then said: “I appreciate your fire, Midoriya. Still we’re responsible for you and this was a very dangerous thing to do. You could have been hurt as well.”

“I wouldn’t, Kacchan would have protected me,” Midoriya stated as if it was a fact, “But I understand, sensei. I will accept any punishment you see fit and I will try not to do it again.”

“That’s all I can ask,” the teacher said, she understood a bit better, having heard the nickname ‘Kacchan’ many times when her students could talk during her classes.

“Kacchan?” Aizawa asked, having joined the teacher to also scold the boy, “You mean Bakugo Katsuki?”

“Yes, I’m his boyfriend,” Midoriya smiled sweetly, making Bakugo blush when Aizawa looked his way and as his friends jeered.

“Well, then I think you’re quite right in your assessment of the Problem Child,” Aizawa said, “But it was still dangerous.”

“I understand, Eraser Head,” Midoriya bowed again, “Still, thank you for keeping him safe and not turning away our help.”

“And thank you for your help, despite the illogical reason behind it,” Aizawa said, “Now, I want to speak to your teacher, so enjoy the time with Bakugo, please do not do anything more stupid and stay in sight.”

Midoriya blushed, but said nothing, just bowing before rushing back to Bakugo.

“I would have protected you, would I?” Bakugo teased when he returned.

“Shut up, you would,” Midoriya pouted.

“Yeah, I would,” Bakugo said proudly.

“You actually talked back to Aizawa,” Kirishima said and Hagakure asked: “Weren’t you scared? He’s so intimidating at first.”

“It was terrifying, I don’t know why I did that,” Midoriya’s face was anxiety filled.

“Because you knew you were right,” Bakugo said, kissing his forehead, “You did well standing up for yourself. Hope you won’t be in too much trouble.”

Midoriya smiled at Bakugo’s encouragement. He waved the concern away: “Sensei is more bark than bite. She looks sterner than she is, she was just concerned after I ran out of class.”

“I can understand that,” Hagakure said.

“So manly,” Kirishima commented.

At that Midoriya giggled: “You actually do say it. I thought Kacchan was being dramatic about it. Sorry that sounded rude, I think it’s fun actually.”

“He talks about us?” Mina asked.

“Of course,” Midoriya sounded surprised at the question, “He talks about everyone in your class. It’s sometimes like I know all of you already. I’m very impressed with how far all of you’ve come in comparison to the start of the year. Kacchan tells me how hard you all work.”

Mina pulled him into a hug and said: “You’re so cute, Midoriya. I am so messaging you online, we need to be friends.”

“I’d love that,” Midoriya smiled.

Bakugo pulled Midoriya back and scowled: “Stop pulling on my boyfriend. I haven’t seen him in weeks, piss off.”

“Sharing is caring, Bakubro,” Kirishima teased.

“Sharing can go fuck itself,” Bakugo grouched and Midoriya snorted, before saying: “Missed you too, babe.”

They continued talking until Midoriya was called back to go to class. Kacchan and Izu drew out their goodbye for as long as they could manage until Izu had to stop waving and Kacchan disappeared out of sight.

Class 1-A mentally adjusted the image they had both of Bakugo and Midoriya.

Seeing Bakugo be himself completely, taking a scolding with understanding and demanding kisses from his boyfriend, added a layer to the grumpy boy they usually saw.

Midoriya had already undergone an entire transformation in the minds of most. From the stone throwing boyfriend they had imagined to gentle giant to the defiant yet kind person they had met today, who would do what was right, but still only lost that last bit of anxiousness when he was with Bakugo.

They were excited for him to graduate and hoped to see him have their backs again in the future.

~

A/N:

Idk if my idea for Midoriya really came through, but I imagine that hero agencies have personal medical staff to ensure that there will be medical aid if hospitals have a crisis or if the injuries aren’t big enough for injuries. These will be educated for quirk related injuries and since Izu is becoming one to support Kacchan, he will try and focus his assignments on his boyfriend, which is allowed after the sports festival.

I’m not keeping to canon bc I want them to actually meet Izu and I really wanted it to go like this, so a weird extra attack thingy it is. At first, I wanted to do something with the provisional hero license exam, but I felt it wouldn’t go well with the fic.

One thing, I really like it imagining how Bakugo would be if he didn’t have a festering resentment that grew for years, but instead actual support. And how Midoriya would be if he had a chance to develop confidence.

[forsakenoathkeeper]

I Am Alive (chapter 5/?)

Deviant!Connor[RK800] x (fem!)Reader Rated M(18+) for canon-typical violence and gore, medical procedures, and graphic sexual content

Synopsis: You were a mechanical engineer, now a nurse for androids, who moved back to Detroit after the revolution to offer aid. After reconciling with an old friend, you became rather acquainted with his android partner.

Please support me on AO3 & thanks for reading ♥

Connor wasn't oblivious to what he was doing.

'Rogue' was one word that came to mind; but, that was a bit extreme all things considered. He wasn't acting against the police and he didn't intend to commit any crimes, especially heinous ones.

He was hunting the android alone, without clearance, without jurisdiction.

-not like this was the first time.

He had intel that the human detectives didn't have. A good lot of them didn't respect him, some more obvious than others, and often disregarded his input on things. Of course, they were never hesitant to let him take the lead when dealing with dangerous individuals or gunfire.

Most of the time, it didn’t bother him.

Fowler saw him as a competent detective and needed the manpower, now more than ever. Hank trusted him with his life and stood up for him. That was all the recognition that Connor needed.

Having to work alone wasn’t all that terrible. He was faster, stronger, more capable of discretion... usually. He didn't have to worry about putting someone in danger or being slowed down. It also meant that he could-

-bend the rules in ways that only androids were capable of.

The other detectives were hung up on the possibility that Evelin Wheeler was murdered by someone she had crossed in her days as a lawyer. Connor had found seven cases that ended with death threats. Three of those cases, the plaintiffs or victims, were still alive and living in or near Detroit.

While other detectives were investigating those potential leads, Connor took to the streets to see if he could locate Robert. Maybe it was his programming talking; but, Connor was suspicious of the android.

Clouds were heavy and dark in the sky, the smell of approaching rain thick in the air. Connor was waiting outside of Haven in a nearby alleyway, perched up against a crate where he could duck back into hiding or lean out and see into the street.

He was standing near an abandoned warehouse that seemed to have suffered structural damage at one point, rubble having collapsed into the plot nearby. The towering structure was an eyesore and provided good cover for the detective. It was also across the street from Haven.

Connor fumbled with his coat pocket, fishing out a coin. He rolled it between his fingers as he waited.

You had been texting him, a very welcomed distraction from the monotony. Though, if Connor was being honest, waiting never bothered him. He couldn’t quite tell if it was because his android, a part of his programming, or just the way he was.

"u know u dont have to" was your latest message, popping up in the top right corner of his HUD. You had trouble getting your car started this morning and had taken a taxi to work. When Connor found out, he asked if he could give you a ride home.

"If I'm being honest, it is not just for your sake. I want to see you" he texted back.

It had been a little over week since he last saw you. Work had been hectic for you both, between countless damaged androids and Connor knee deep in multiple cases, one in particular that was rubbing him the wrong way. Even if he only got to sit in a car with you for thirty minutes, that would be good enough.

"i miss u too" your reply came in. Connor smiled at that and briefly pondered how to reply.

When people were 'an item', what did they do? Attending a restaurant together seemed to be the most common answer that came up in his searches; however, considering Connor did not require sustenance, and lacked the components to dispose of them, he couldn't eat.

Surprisingly, ‘drinking’ came up a lot, too. There was no way he was taking you to a sleazy bar. There were always clubs. Did you like that sort of thing? He didn’t want to make assumptions about your lifestyle. There was the added concern that Connor didn’t know if he could dance. He had never tried it before.

'Walks in the park' also came up in his searches; while Connor was not easily perturbed by the weather, you likely would find it far too cold outside. The local movie theatres were closed down temporarily due to the uprising, leaving that option out, as well.

He could invite you over to his apartment; but, what if you took that as an unwanted suggestion? He missed you in that manner, maybe more than he cared to admit; but, he didn't want to give the impression that it was all he cared about.

Connor's LED was blaring yellow as he internally argued with himself. He aggressively shifted his coin from one hand to the other and flung it high into the air with a flick of his thumb.

Humans did this - 'heads or tails' - so he tried it.

When it fell back down, he snatched it from the air, opened his palm and glanced down. The coin had landed on tails. Connor glared at the harmless nickel disk for not giving him the results he wanted.

Okay. Maybe he was thinking too hard.

-maybe he just needed to go for it.

"I want to treat you to something. If you would like that?" Connor messaged you.

Likely caught up in something, you didn’t reply immediately. So, Connor began rotating his coin again, rolling it between his fingers, flicking it back and forth between his palms. He had no idea where this quirk came from: if it was programmed into him or some bizarre string of code that manifested itself. He could do it without much processing power, making it rather relaxing.

"if you wanna? u dont have to do anything like that" your message popped up on his HUD some time later.

"Is it weird that I want to?" Connor messaged you back.

"not at all" you replied. He read it in your soft voice and found himself feeling bashful. He felt weird, like he wanted to do things for you - unnecessary things that you were perfectly capable of doing yourself.

"theres a park i loved as a kid. we can go when it warms up?" you offered.

"I would like that" Connor replied.

A thought came to him, something that he chided himself for: he had hoped for something he could do for you, now, not later.

But, then-

"until then i like ur apartment" immediately came in afterward.

Connor gawked at the message like an idiot for a moment or two before he snapped out of it. Maybe you had read his mind... somehow.

He had no need for a TV because he could get all the news on the interface in his processing unit. He didn't have a need for many dishes for obvious reasons and only bothered to keep the fridge plugged in in case Hank brought something over. His apartment was severely under furnished by human standards.

Suddenly, he wanted to change that.

"You are welcome anytime" he replied. "I'll make sure its warmer this time"

Your reply came fairly quickly; but, Connor didn't see it.

Movement caught his eye.

An android was approaching Haven, not that that was anything new. However, he dressed in a dirty hoodie and torn up pants, ankle-high work boots matching what Connor had seen in Evelin Wheeler's home, the correct height and stature for the model type seen in Louis’ memories.

Connor slid the coin back into his coat pocket and focused his optical sensors on the android. He couldn't get a good enough look from this angle to see into the propped up hood.

The detective waited outside while the other android crossed the threshold into Haven.

Markus wanted to do things the right way. Connor respected that.

It meant that he would inform Robert the police were looking for him and try to encourage him to speak with them. If he was innocent, that meant he had nothing to hide. But Connor knew that Robert would likely attempt to flee, even if he was innocent.

The android was inside the building for eleven minutes and some odd seconds before he stormed out the front and trotted down the street. Connor didn't waste any time taking up pursuit. The android had some haste to his steps, but wasn't running. Still, Connor knew he would lose him if he dawdled for a second.

Rain began to fall, beginning in gentle sprinkles that coated the concrete and asphalt in faint specs. Connor could feel the rain like gentle taps against his outer skin. It was useful: the noise made it harder to properly hear the sounds of their footsteps. That potentially risked the chance that Connor would lose Robert; but, it also meant he was less likely to be detected.

He needed an empty, quiet place where he could interrogate him. But, Connor also was well aware of the fact that he didn't have backup. If the android proved to be more dangerous than he anticipated, he would be alone and at great risk.

-again, this was nothing new.

Connor recognized the route Robert was taking. He was heading for the industrial district's harbor.

It wasn't abandoned. Factory work had resumed, albeit with struggles considering the android workforce had been lost. However, people were trying to return to normal life. They needed to; and so, the ports reopened and shipments starting to flow again.

The detective continued to stalk behind the android for miles, paying no mind to the fact that he was steadily growing farther and farther away from where he had parked his car, nor the fact that he was getting soaked by the rain.

When they arrived at the harbor, Robert took a path through a rundown building that was likely once a communication hub for a business that went under decades ago. It was longer than a direct route, but provided cover, less any of the human workers at the nearby plants spotted him.

In following, Connor realized that abandoned shipping containers were piled up outside. The rust and erosion patterns suggested they had been here a long time.

At the end of the row of containers, another building, a steel hub right at the edge of the water. Normally, these were open, designed to be for receiving and sending shipments, unloading. However, someone had taken the time to board it up.

Robert entered through a hastily cut out hole acting as a doorway.

Connor knew this was the end of the line. He was going to have to face Robert here.

He took one, careful step past the threshold, and realized there was an echo. That alone made it near impossible to continue sneakily. When Connor stepped forward, he felt something scan him. It was harmless, a perimeter censor: the kind of motion detector that could pick up android's serial numbers with a quick scan, and send alerts to the programmed android. It was, essentially, an intruder alert.

The detective turned his head to the adjacent wall. Sure enough, there it was, the size of a quarter, at head level, eyeing him.

He was intrigued that Robert had taken the time to setup defenses here. It wasn't particularly deterring, just a simple alarm that would prevent him from being snuck up on. Connor could hear Robert's shoes loudly squeak on the floor. He was pacing, probably deciding his next move.

Connor continued, turning down the hall and stepping into the main hull.

When Robert spotted him, he took a few steps back, maintaining distance between them. Connor took up a firm stance, feet shoulder length apart, arms crossed in front of him, hands cupped, like a soldier might stand.

"Why are you following me?" Robert called out, sounding more annoyed than anything else. The echo in the room was loud, creating an obnoxious tremor around them.

"I wanted to talk to you - ask you a few things," Connor replied calmly.

Robert was silent for a moment, eyeing Connor suspiciously. "You're the detective android," he said lowly.  "I heard stories...” Robert looked him up and down. “You're not as intimidating as I expected."

If that was intended to insult Connor, all it managed to do was make him curious. What kind of images had Robert conjured in his mind of the android detective?

"Why haven't you removed your indicator?" Robert asked in a manner that was almost taunting. "You think we're equal to humans, don't you? Why wear something that sets us apart?"

"It doesn't matter to me if people know I am an android," Connor answered, maintaining his passive tone. It wasn't entirely the truth. Sometimes, he wanted people to know he was an android. He was once frightened by the idea of deviancy; now, it felt like a badge of honor. Maybe, he was prideful: he was the first detective android to join the force, and the last and only of his model.

"You work for the humans - against us," Robert accused. “What makes you think you have any right to stand with us?”

"I don't work against androids. I work against murderers," Connor proclaimed. He could see panic flash behind Robert's eyes. But, the android was quick to compose himself. "-human or android," Connor added on.

Robert opened his mouth; but, Connor, growing tired of this pointless banter, decided to be direct.

"I'm here because I believe you killed Evelin Wheeler."

"Who?" Robert asked, his head tilting to the side. From his lack of concern, Connor couldn't quite identify if he was being sincere, or just didn't care.

"An elderly woman who was being cared for by an android," Connor elaborated robotically.

Robert shrugged. "What makes you think I did that?"

"I saw you harassing the android living with her," Connor answered, tone lowering.

Robert settled a firm glare on Connor. "Harassing? I wanted to help him be free."

Connor kept his stoic expression, eyes unyielding of his emotions, LED strong blue. "I'm glad you remember them," he replied lowly.

The detective could see some stress rise in Robert. He wasn't frightened by Connor. He was growing steadily more and more angered by him.

"Then, surely you-"

"He was delusional," Robert interrupted sharply, clearly insulted. "Called her 'family'. I had to help him. He was being controlled by that human. I set him free."

"He was free,” Connor corrected him. “You hate humans. That's what it is. It has nothing to do with justice.” He maintained his persona: a cold, calculating detective.

The other android didn't seem to like that word. "You still elevate them above us, you hypocrite!" Robert snarled. "Don't talk to me about justice."

"Human or android, you killed an innocent woman in cold blood," the detective said lowly, letting his stare darken slightly.

"Where's your proof?" Robert challenged.

"Your shoes match the impressions at the crime scene," Connor stated bluntly. "You also were seen harassing the family-" Robert twitched at the word. "-a week before the murder. That's enough circumstantial evidence to obtain a warrant for your memories for that night."

"Where's your w-warrant, huh?" Robert challenged, his voice faltering slightly. "Why am I not under arrest, yet? You have nothing!" Robert shouted, his voice echoing around the chamber.

Connor narrowed his eyes slightly. "742-11-904, you are under arrest for trespassing on private property-"

Robert suddenly shifted and charged at Connor. Being a unit designed for industry work, he was bigger than Connor, bulkier with a wider frame and greater weight capacity; but, Connor was agile, flexible, and designed for combat. He avoided his assault with ease, but wasn't able to counter. His back hit the wall and Robert continued down the hallway past him.

Connor took up pursuit, finding that Robert took a different path out. He chased him into the harbor, out in the open, where security lights shined down on them. Workers from a nearby plant were perched on a balcony on the second floor. Connor could hear their surprised murmurs, "what the hell - you see that shit?"

Chain link covered the edge of the dock to act as a barrier to prevent falls. Connor contemplated pulling his gun on Robert; however, trespassing wasn't an offense worthy of firing, and he had yet to obtain the warrant he needed for the murder case. Pulling his gun would have been a one-way ticket to suspension, or likely worse.

Robert wasn't made for this. Connor was going to catch up to him. The android likely knew this. He had to take a path that Connor wouldn’t follow. He climbed the chain link, reaching the top before Connor got to him, and dived over the edge, straight into the harbor. The splash was drowned out by the rain tapping on the metal roofs nearby.

Connor looked over the edge to where the dark waters lapped at the concrete platform. Naturally, he couldn’t see anything through the murky water. He sighed, placing one hand on the chain link to lean against it.

"Well, so much for that," he groaned to himself.

It was unlikely that Robert could stay submerged for long, even less likely that he would surface here. He wasn’t going to return to this hiding place, nor Haven. Connor would have to find him through other means.

The rain started to pick up, sprinkling morphing to heavy droplets. Connor's eyes adjusted to lighting, or lack of, naturally. He was too focused on finding Robert that he failed to realize the sun had set. The time was normally hidden on his HUD as it was intrusive, distracting. He didn't need sleep. He didn't need rest. He could theoretically go days without a break.

When he brought the time temporarily back into view briefly, he realized it was 7:17. Your shift ended at 7 tonight, and he had promised he would be there.

"Shit!" he cursed out loud, swiveling away from the fence.

As he trotted away, shoes making wet sopping noises on the concrete, Connor started a message, "I'm sorry. I'm going to be a little late".

Before he sent it, he realized that he had missed your previous message.

"hold u to eet" you had replied. It was in response to his promise that the apartment would be warmer next time. But, it also struck him as a painful reminder that you had placed trust in his ability to get you home safely, and in a timely manner.

The rain continued to pick up until it was pouring down, like tiny rocks pummeling his body. It didn't hurt, but it was exhausting. He had fucked up, twice. He failed to capture Robert and now he was delaying you.

Instead of sending that message, he decided to call.

It rang once, then twice-

"Oh - shit - are you here already?" you blurted into the phone as soon as you answered.

"N-no, I-" he stammered. "I'm going to be late. I'm sorry."

"Actually - that's fine. I got so caught up in this thirium shipment, I didn't realize what time it was," you explained, sounding out of breath. "I was afraid I was keeping you."

"I wouldn't have minded waiting," Connor replied, feeling some relief at your words.

"No - don't say that," you scolded gently. "Don't take bullshit from anyone, Connor."

"Ugh-" he stammered. Did he take bullshit from people? Maybe he did and he just didn't care most of the time. Was waiting for you bullshit, anyway? He didn’t need to sleep, afterall.

"Working late, too, huh?" you breathed into the phone.

"Field work," Connor replied lowly.

You chuckled into the phone. "You know I can take a taxi if you're-"

"No, I-" he interrupted sharply. "I want to see you. Please."

"Connor," you breathed into the phone.

His phone wasn't a handheld device. It was an interface build into his processor. He could hear you directly in his head. Even through the slight distortion created by radio signals, the sound of your voice still managed to do something to him. Maybe he underestimated how badly he missed you.

In the background, Connor could hear one of your coworkers, "ooooo - who's Connor?" teasing at you in a purposely obnoxious voice.

You laughed quietly. "My boyfriend," you answered.

My boyfriend-

For some reason, something as mundane as you telling people that, made him really happy.

There was some shuffling noises, likely you moving around and trying to balance something in one hand and your phone in the other.

"Is he cute?" a different voice asked this time.

Connor was prepared to eavesdrop on this conversation in full; but, after some loud shuffling, you came back, speaking into the phone properly. "I'm gonna let you go, now - get this finished up - oh shit it's raining - let me know when you're in the parking lot?"

"Understood," he replied automatically, a habit. Plus, if he was being honest, he was disappointed.

"-and don't stress about it, Connor-" you added on hastily.

Fuck that-

-as soon as you hung up, Connor was running to his parked car.

[cali-holland]

Risky Quizness- Tom Holland One Shot

Pairing: Tom Holland X Reader

Requested by Anon: meeting tom at one of the pub quizzes he goes to at his local pub, he and his mates need more people on their team to sign up, so they asks you and a couple of your friends to join, you and him connect. Xxoo

Prompt: When you meet Tom at a pub quiz, sparks fly between the two of you.

Word Count: 1800

A/N: Huge shoutout to @saysomethingspiderman​ for being a major help with this one. I’m hella American and never experienced a pub quiz before lol aka brits dont hate me for this

Masterlist   Tom Holland Masterlist

*Gif is not mine*

~~~

“Damn it.” Tom muttered, looking at his phone with a frown.

“What?” Harrison asked, sitting next to him at the table with their two pints.

“Harry just texted me. He’s sick.” He replied. “And Sam’s with his girlfriend and you know mum would never let me take Paddy.”

“So it’s just us then?” The blond let out a sigh.

Pub quizzes weren’t much fun with two people. Normally, they’d go with Tuwaine, Harry, and Sam- sometimes even Sam’s girlfriend would tag along, but Tuwaine had a family thing come up, and now the twins had bailed.

“We could always try to find someone to join our team? Right?” Tom offered weakly, and his friend shrugged.

“We’d have to find people willing to actually join us.” He stated and Tom nodded. The pub was already filling up with hopefuls for the pub quiz, there was no way they’d find others to team up with them-

“You can’t do a pub quiz with two people! It just doesn’t work like that!” You let out a frustrated groan as you passed by Tom’s table with your friend. And just like that, a light bulb went off in Tom’s head as he jumped after you.

“Hey, wait!” He called out and you and your friend paused, turning to him skeptically as you held your drinks.

“You only have two people for the quiz? My mate and I are also a team of two. Did- did you want to, maybe, join us?” Tom asked, realizing how stupid it sounded to ask that out loud- to ask a couple strangers to be on his team for a pub quiz. Your friend looked at you and you contemplated it for a moment.

“Sure, but we better win.” You stated, following a triumphant Tom back to his table (much to Harrison’s surprise). You sat down in an empty chair, leaving one open between you and Harrison, and Tom slid into it. 

“I’m Tom, and this is Harrison.” He introduced the two of them.

“Y/N, this is Jess.” You replied with a smile. The quizmaster quickly made his way around the pub, handing out a sheet of paper to each of the teams.

“What should our name be?” Tom asked, looking at the paper in front of him.

“Risky Quizness.” You said simply and Jess let out a laugh beside you.

“Risky Quizness?” Tom and Harrison both repeated, and you nodded.

“Every time we’ve used that name, we’ve won the pub quiz.” You stated.

“That’s because the only time we’ve won it was our name!” Jess added, and you rolled your eyes at her.

“We still won. Maybe we wouldn’t have been second last time if our name was Risky Quizness, not Universally Challenged.” You picked up the pencil from the table and grabbed the paper from in front of Tom.

“Risky Quizness, like the Tom Cruise movie?” Tom asked you, a small smile on his face.

“I’m writing it!” You announced and Jess groaned, but the boys just laughed.

“In case you couldn’t tell, she runs the quiz.” She teased.

“Shove off.” You groaned, “I’m competitive.”

“How many of these have you won?” Tom inquired. He honestly wasn’t sure how well he and Harrison would do with their usual team; by the end of the night, he would have always had enough beers to be a bit hazy on how many he actually knew on his own. He wanted to do well though because who didn’t love winning? And he also may have wanted to impress you a little.

“Just the one.” You mumbled, not wanting to fully admit it, “But we keep coming in second. There’s this group at our usual place called Let’s Get Quizzical and they win every single time. So we’re here in hopes that they won’t be.”

“What about you two?” Your friend asked.

“We’ve won a few times, but honestly, I don’t remember if I got any of them right.” He laughed.

“So, it’s up to you then, blondie.” You joked, and Harrison smiled with a grimace. “You two are lucky you’re attractive.”

Before either could respond, the quizmaster began to speak, announcing the general knowledge round. Some were easy questions like name the longest river in the U.K., complete the line from Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” (which you knew immediately), and how many hearts does an octopus have (that one you and Harrison got in a heated debate about whether it was two or eight, when Jess stepped in as the marine biologist to tell you it was three). 

The next couple rounds went by smoothly, the four of you working together to make sure you got the right answers. By the time you were on the final round, the movies round, you felt fairly confident that your answers were like 90% right (you still weren’t sure if you trusted Tom and Harrison in saying that the DeLorean in Back to the Future had to hit 88 to time travel because you definitely thought it was 85 like the year the first movie came out).

“Which Star Wars character gets namechecked in Indiana Jones: Temple of Doom?” The quizmaster asked, making the four of you pause.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen that movie.” Harrison stated.

“Yoda?” Tom suggested, thinking it was a fairly iconic Star Wars character.

“It’s Obi-Wan.” You said as you wrote down the answer. “I just watched the movie like two days ago, and trust me, you’re not missing out if you haven’t seen it.”

“Two hours I’ll never get back.” Jess shook her head with a sigh.

“That bad?” Tom asked and you both nodded.

“The worst.” You shuddered just thinking about it. 

Though that question stumped Tom and Harrison, it wasn’t until the last question of the round that you really didn’t know the answer.

“Last question. This sequel film is the 10th highest grossing superhero movie of all time.” The quizmaster read off the question, and you turned to the rest of your team, unsure of the right answer.

“I don’t know? Captain America?” You asked, wracking your brain for any good superhero sequel films you’d seen. You watched Harrison try to nudge Tom inconspicuously, who was blushing beside you. He mumbled something to you, but you couldn’t hear it at all. “What movie?”

“Uh, Spider-Man: Far From Home.” He spoke up louder, the blush on his cheeks darkening as he shot Harrison a glare.

“Oh, right, never saw that.” You replied, and Tom laughed nervously.

“You really never saw it?” He asked.

“Nope.” You shook your head, “I don’t even think I saw the first one, honestly. Not that big of a Spider-Man fan.” As you wrote down the answer Tom had given you, you missed him sending a look back to his friend, trying his best not to be slightly offended by your words.

“You should watch them. They’re really good movies.” Tom said with an encouraging smile when you looked back up at him, ignoring Harrison’s kick under the table. It wasn’t until then that he realized you had absolutely no clue who he was, and it was the best thing ever for him; you were treating him like just another random guy who invited you to join his pub quiz team.

The quizmaster announced the end of the quiz, and everyone went over their answers. Much to your familiar disappointment, your team ended up second again.

“Maybe, it’s just you.” Tom teased you as Harrison and Jess went to go get more drinks.

“Rude.” You playfully scoffed, though you were still a bit upset by the loss. “Maybe if you had known that Wisconsin was the dairy state then we would have won.”

“You didn’t even know that one!” He refuted. It was true- the American geography round just about wiped your team out. Tom shifted a bit closer to you, leaning on his arm, flexing it almost, “So you think you’ll be back at this pub for next week?”

“I think I could be convinced to return.” You replied slyly. Before Tom could ask for your number, you already had your phone unlocked, sliding it over to him. “Here.”

“You already knew.” He chuckled, handing you his phone in return. You both typed in your numbers and switched phones back.

“That one Spider-Man question. How did you know that?” You asked, thinking back to all the sigh’s the erupted throughout the pub when the answer was revealed- most had gotten it wrong, so how did Tom know so quickly that he was right?

“I just know.” Tom shrugged in an effort to play it off.

“You know off the top of your head the 10th highest grossing superhero movie of all time?” You eyed him suspiciously.

“They said it was a sequel, so it had to be either that or Incredibles 2.” He joked, but you weren’t too amused. He leaned in closer to you, creating an intimate distance between your two faces, “Can I tell you a secret?”

“What, are you Spider-Man or something?” You asked teasingly, but his smile never faltered.

“Yeah, I am.” Tom replied. You laughed before you realized the complete seriousness in his voice and his face.

“Seriously?” You managed through a fit of laughter.

“I really am! And you said you didn’t like my movie.” He teased.

“I said I never saw it.” You corrected him. “That has to be cheating for it to be your movie as the answer.”

“No, it definitely isn’t.” He shook his head with a laugh.

“How much did it gross? How much?” You asked, wiggling your eyebrows at him jokingly, “You check the box office daily, don’t you?”

“I do not!” He protested, chuckling, “And it made over a billion, thank you very much.”

“Did you drop your pants for that to happen or something?” You quipped, and his face heated up. You gasped, “You didn’t!”

“It was just for one scene and I had my underwear on!” Tom insisted, “You’d know that if you saw the film.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll watch it- both of them.” You laughed.

“How about I quiz you on them next week?” He joked, and you groaned.

“No, that means I’d have to pay attention.”

“Fine, I won’t quiz you on them on one condition.” Tom rested a hand on the back of your chair, leaning in closer to you. You raised your eyebrows at him, telling him wordlessly to continue, “Go on a date with me?”

You nodded, laughing as you spoke, “Yes, but I gotta say, I really thought you were going to make me watch your own movie with you.”

“Trust me, darling, we can do that, too.”

~~~

Tag List: @viagracex​ @theamazingtomholland​ @hellomoveonby​ @heyitsshrez

Tom Tag List: @quaksonhehe​

[imagine-turtles]

Ggggnhgfjdhdjdjdjd ok new request bro, how about the boys receiving anonymous appreciation letters (like little encouraging or praising words, or just things like "I hope you know how much I appreciate you and everything you do for me" etc) like once a week or something, and they dont know who it's from but one day they recognize its their crush's handwriting? How would they feel about the anonymous letters? Would they want to write back even if they dont know who it's from? Would they be suspicious? And how would they react to discovering who wrote them?

Bayverse ‘cause I make the rules. (KIDDING, let me know if you’re looking for another era.)

Leonardo isn’t clueless about his secret admirer’s identity for long; his family only knows a handful of people, and only a few out of those people know him well enough to target his ego so accurately.

Unfortunately, he starts overthinking the whole thing.  Why are they doing this?  Why not just talk to him directly?  Does he seem unapproachable?  Are they messing with him, knowing it could never work out?  Splinter and April bear the full brunt of Leonardo’s near-obsessive need to deduce their exact intentions, not that April minds--all she does is uhuh and mhm and maybe they just like you, doofus.  She may even tip off the “anonymous” writer to let them know that their super cute idea is inadvertently stressing the recipient out.

Once the situation is put to rest, Leonardo’s thrilled to have his crush’s support, but he’d honestly rather be talking face to face than through notes.  It’s faster, easier, and looking at them when they speak kills most of his anxiety about where he stands.

~~~

Raphael thinks most writing looks pretty much the same--the only exception being April’s tendency to write everything huge, in all caps--so he has no idea who keeps leaving him letters.  Touchy-feely, deadly accurate, borderline romantic letters, that he stashes more carefully than anything else he owns.  He may as well be hiding nuclear launch codes.  Logically, he knows it’d be safer to just read and destroy, but he can’t bear to part with a single one.  Not even the goofy little post-its.

The decision of whether or not to write back plagues Raphael for weeks.  He wants so badly for his crush to be the one leaving him the notes, he’s almost content not knowing instead of considering someone else.  And what if he writes back, but they’re disappointed by what he writes?  What if he never gets another letter?  The rest of the family notes his new moodiness, but he’d sooner relinquish the top bunk than open up to one of them about it.

Even when Raphael realizes who he’s been writing, he doesn’t ever really stop.  Sending letters back and forth becomes a pastime never acknowledged out loud, a way for him to voice exactly what he’s feeling without having to justify himself.  Besides, isn’t it just horribly, decadently romantic?

~~~

Like Leonardo, Donatello would probably identify the handwriting fairly quickly.  This isn’t just due to their limited social circle, either; he verifies his hunch with some forensic handwriting recognition software he “borrowed” from the NYPD to be double sure, and checks the security cams to be triple sure.

(He weakly reasons that it’s not creepy to check the cameras in your own house, and he did tell them that nearly every inch of the lair is recorded.)

Donatello isn’t quite sure if his crush is shy, messing with him, or just thinks he needs cheering up, but he’s willing to play their game and find out.  Rather than leaving them physical notes, he starts sending them little gifts.  Sometimes they’re useful, sometimes they’re just snacks or trinkets, but they’re always accompanied by a brief note.  The exchanges between he and his crush turn into a sort of disjointed conversation between them, occasionally bleeding into their in-person interactions by picking up where they left off.  No one else tries to follow exactly what they’re talking about anymore.

~~~

Michelangelo needs to know who’s sending him gooey notes or he will simply pass away.  Unlike his brothers, he’s not only happy to share, he keeps everyone updated with a running commentary.  Yes, his family is happy for him, but they really, really don’t need a play-by-play analysis every single time he receives so much as a “great job” post-it.  

Mikey makes it his mission to reply to every single one, placing it exactly where he found the previous message in the hopes that his pen pal sees it.  It briefly occurs to him that anyone else could also read the notes, but hey, it’s not like he’s trying to be sneaky.  His brothers have no desire to further involve themselves, and he begs Leonardo to proofread them anyways.  He’d shout his feelings from the tippy-top of the nearest radio tower if it would earn him more mysterious attention.

It honestly doesn’t take Michelangelo too long to figure out his ~secret pen pal~ is the person he was hoping it was.  Which is great!  Better than great!  Now he can start leaving them notes too--but not just notes.  He takes it upon himself to “redecorate” an overpass into a mural for his crush, smack dab in the middle of their usual commute.

[catboymingi]

and the damsel in distress - veninder chap. 2

navi/masterlist

story masterlist

pairing: mingi x reader

genre: angst, fluff; eventual best friends to lovers

word count: 7.2k

warnings: language, insecurities, past trauma mention, somewhat suicidal thoughts (very briefly, one sentence)

a/n: after ages of exams where i focused on smaller writings i finally am updating... this chapter is a ride but it is the ride i decided to take

yo var det mig / der’ dummet sig? - was it me / that messed up?

when you woke up and unlocked your phone you immediately wished you hadn’t woken up, ever. you had more than a hundred messages from various chats, and while you wished you could just ignore them forever you knew that you’d have to deal with it tomorrow latest, and you’d rather do it without an audience. so you had no choice to reply, opening the private messages first and telling all your friends that you’d reply in the group chat, before you opened that one.

[y/n]: sry for that. forgot my wallet, had no way to get home in time

[y/n]: nothing happened tho

the reply came almost immediately, as if they’d just waited for you to come online.

[saranghoe]: u literally didnt even try 2 call dibs n now ur staying the night?? seems suspicious

[model contract when???]: yeah literally!

[y/n]: as i said, better than sleeping on the street

[model contract when???]: just dont go near them again. ever

[y/n]: fine

[y/n]: deal

you hated the idea, but you knew that if you didn’t agree your life would be a living hell. and that was definitely not something you wanted, knowing how they’d made life hell for other people and knowing that there was no way anyone could protect you from that. so, the next thing you did was click on ‘hyung hate club’, not even bothering to read the messages before leaving the group. you didn’t like this, but it was better this way. as much as you liked the boys, you liked being able to go to uni in peace more, and you knew that would be impossible if you so much as breathed in their direction from now on. you sighed, putting your phone down and laying back onto your bed again, wanting some peace for yourself, but you weren’t granted that. less than a minute after you’d laid down your phone buzzed, once, twice, thrice. knowing that you wouldn’t be able to relax until you knew what was up you sat back up, checking your phone to see messages from an unknown number. curious, you clicked on the notification.

[unknown]: y/n???

[unknown]: im mingi

[unknown]: whats wrong??

you weren’t sure whether to be happy he messaged or scream into your pillow. in some way it was nice he cared, but that also meant it would be harder to avoid the boys. and that meant that, no matter how hard you tried, your friends would have a reason to be upset.

[y/n]: why?

[unknown]: you left the gc?

[unknown]: what happened

[y/n]: nothing dw, im all good

he saw the message but didn’t reply right away, which made you think that maybe he’d accept your reply. but then you saw him typing again, and a message you didn’t expect at all appeared on your screen.

[unknown]: did i mess up

[y/n]: wdym

you genuinely had no idea what he meant, or rather, how he could’ve got the idea that he’d messed up in any way. he’d been nothing but kind to you, there was not a single thing he could possibly have messed up on. but when a new message popped up you knew he was genuinely worrying about it, and you felt bad for not being able to tell him the real reason why you left the group chat, why you had to avoid them.

[unknown]: like did i do something wrong

[y/n]: not at all

[y/n]: its not abt you dw

you hoped he’d leave it be with that, but of course not. he wanted to know what was wrong, he wanted to know why you suddenly didn’t seem to want to talk to him, or any of them for that matter, anymore.

[unknown]: then what is it

and while you were thinking of a good excuse, mingi seemed to have caught on to what exactly the problem was, as was made apparent by his next message.

[unknown]: its your friends isnt it

there was no way you could reply to that decently, so you didn’t, staring at the screen in frustration with your friends and him and mainly yourself. you wanted to say something, you really did, but you had no idea what. tell him you were sorry? tell him to leave you alone? tell him that sometimes life just sucked and you had to deal with it? none of that would’ve been a good reply, and in all honesty you also didn’t want to have to deal with the emotional turmoil it would inevitably bring.

you didn’t notice that you’d spaced out and your phone had locked itself until it buzzed in your hand again, another message from the unknown number you now knew to be mingi. it just read ‘got it’ and you felt awful, scared that you’d hurt or upset one of the only people in forever that had shown genuine care for you. but of course you’d had to mess it up.

//

the next day came and you still felt bad, somewhat fearful as well. your friend group’s chat had returned to the usual topics, but you still weren’t sure how they’d react to you when they saw you again. you were hellbent on acting as usual, hoping that if you acted like nothing happened they would as well, and it was somewhat successful, getting weird stares every now and then, but no more comments than usual. you wouldn’t let yourself relax just yet, but this was a good sign, at least.

but then came lunch. you tried to act casual, not wanting to let on to the fact that you were horrified that one of the boys would shout out for you at any moment. your eyes darted around aimlessly, mainly looking for a certain giant sporting bright red hair, simply because he was easiest to spot out of the group you’d spent saturday night with. when you still hadn’t spotted him when you sat down to eat with your friends your shoulders relaxed, but it had been a mistake to think that they’d forgotten about you.

you hadn’t noticed that yunho was on his way towards you until he was standing right there, having moved surprisingly inconspicuously for someone his height. but there he was, staring down at you with an expression you couldn’t judge. you tried to avoid his eyes, feeling so incredibly guilty for ignoring him when he and his friends had been your saviour when you needed one, but you couldn’t help it. even now you could feel your friends’ angry stares on you, when you hadn’t even acknowledged the boy’s presence.

“y/n”, yunho suddenly spoke up. you couldn’t help but look up at him at that, knowing it was a mistake, but your head moved by itself. and he noticed, a small smile appearing on his face now. he nodded his head as a sign that he wanted to talk to you with a little more privacy, and you knew that if you didn’t go with him he’d try to sort whatever he wanted to sort here, in front of your friends, which would be way worse than leaving with him for maybe two minutes and returning, convincing them that you told him never to come up to you again. so you got up, but before you could actually go to a more private area he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder. you hit his back in a desperate attempt to let you down, but deep down you knew that your punches wouldn’t affect him in any way. so you gave up, hanging like a sack of potatoes, feeling everyone’s curious stares on you.

he first let you down at their table, hongjoong scolding him that a less dramatic approach would’ve done the job as well. wooyoung and yeosang were laughing while the others looked at you curiously, and you were still deciding whether or not to kill yunho right there.

that decision was made for you when mingi spoke up.

“you told me you’d see me at lunch.” you couldn’t quite decipher his tone, whether he was angry or disappointed or hurt, but you knew it wasn’t a positive emotion you heard in his voice. you hated that you were the reason for his upset, but you also hated that your decision about how to deal with the dilemma you were in had been made for you, by people that knew nothing about your situation. you weren’t them, you didn’t have a support system, you didn’t have the option to choose who you were friends with, you didn’t have any of the things that were a given for everyone else. you had to take what you got and make do with it, and they’d just made that significantly harder for you.

“i told you i couldn’t”, you replied, your own voice a mixture of sadness and anger. you wanted to be able to, really, but it wasn’t something you could change. and the fact that he’d seen how your friends had reacted to you doing something they didn’t like and still didn’t stop this, maybe even actively encouraged this, made you angry, even though maybe it shouldn’t. he hadn’t had any ill intentions, but that didn’t really matter to you when you knew he wouldn’t be affected at all by whatever happened as a reaction to this. that he - they - had started a battle you’d have to fight.

no one said anything to that and you thought the conversation was over, that they’d realised that you wouldn’t be able to join their friend group or talk to them at all unless necessary, so you turned around, managing to take a single step before someone grabbed your wrist. you turned around again in surprise and saw that it was seonghwa, whom you’d assumed to be kind and soft-spoken, definitely not the kind to do this. but here you were, being kept from leaving by his hand around your wrist. it was mingi who spoke, though.

“they’re not being nice to you. you deserve better.” and you knew, you knew all that, you knew everything he could tell you to convince you that they weren’t the right friends for you, but that didn’t change anything. and you’d had enough hurt, enough mistreatment in your life to want to avoid it at all costs now. if that meant giving up a bit of your happiness but getting to keep your peace of mind that was a price you were more than willing to pay. but the boy looking at you with softness in his eyes didn’t seem to be willing to have you pay that price.

“sit down.” seonghwa had let go of your arm now, moving a little so that you’d fit next to him. it wasn’t an order, more of a suggestion, but you were too tired, too exhausted to potentially risk a discussion you might not be able to win, so you just complied, resting your head in your palms. and because of that the boys at first didn’t even notice that you didn’t have your food, or any of your things, since it didn’t seem like you wanted to eat anyway.

it was san that noticed, already having finished inhaling his meal when you hadn’t even started yours. the surprise at that was what made him realise that there was no meal for you to finish.

“yunho!”, he suddenly yelled out, making everyone’s heads snap up, even yours. “you forgot y/n’s things when you kidnapped her!” at that realisation, panic made its way onto your face. you had no idea what state your things would be in by the time you’d reach them. your phone, your wallet, all your notes were in your bag, and you’d just left it with your friends that without a doubt were plotting how to ruin your life by now. you jolted up and towards the table they’d been sitting at, but when you saw they’d already left your panic only increased. your bag was still there, carelessly kicked underneath the table when you’d been sitting with the others, but you had no idea what the insides would look like. you probably looked like a maniac all but ripping it open, fumbling with the zipper with shaking hands and ransacking your bag to make sure you still had everything you needed, checking your wallet and phone to see just how fucked you were. everything was still in order, though; it seemed like they’d forgotten about your bag, in part thanks to you having kicked it out of sight thoughtlessly. you almost cried at the relief, and mingi, who’d followed you after your sudden exit to make sure you were okay, wasn’t really sure what to do. he kneeled down next to where you were still crouching on the floor, staring at your bag and its content as if it were the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen, and just looked at you, waiting for you to realise he was there as well.

when after a while (was it seconds? minutes? it felt too long for mingi) you still seemed to not have noticed his presence he carefully tapped your leg, making sure his hand was visible before he actually touched you. you seemed so spaced out that he was pretty certain any sudden touch or noise would scare you to no end. but even though he was so careful not to be too sudden your head still shot up with a force that made him fear you’d break your neck; you’d half expected one of your friends to be the one touching you, so your anxious reaction was at least in part caused by that. but when you saw that it was only him you relaxed a little, though your heartbeat still would not return to normal.

“you okay?”, he asked you once it seemed like you wouldn’t drop dead from shock or kill him if he said anything, worry apparent in his voice, and you could understand him, really - this wasn’t a regular reaction to forgetting your bag with your friends. but you didn’t have regular friends either, so it evened out.

“i guess.” you grabbed your bag and got up, wanting nothing more than to get out of that awkward situation, and the tall boy followed suit.

“wanna join us for the rest of lunch?” he expected you to say no. you knew that you should say no. and a look at where you’d sat at the table confirmed that you didn’t even have anything to eat anymore - they’d probably thrown it away as soon as you left. so there was no reason to go, there was no reason to make yourself even more of a target. but maybe that was why you ended up saying yes. you’d already become a target, so now you might as well spend time with them, you didn’t really have anything to lose anymore. and the smile he gave you when you agreed to join them made you think that it’d maybe be worth it, even.

the others looked at you in surprise when you returned to their table, mingi having a triumphant look on his face. they didn’t say anything, though, scared of putting you off and causing another somewhat-freak out like the one earlier. of course, to them it didn’t make sense, they had no idea just what your friends could do. they’d never been their victim, and they’d never been around to see what their victims had to deal with. but you knew. and the thought of it almost sent you into a panic attack, so you let yourself fall onto the bench (a loud ‘thud’ could be heard, so you really hadn’t been gentle with yourself) and put your head on the table, ignoring how greasy it probably was, your focus being on stopping your breath from speeding up before it was too late. you couldn’t see the looks they gave each other, but you could imagine them. you were a mess, a scared, traumatised mess, and that less than 48 hours after first having met them. you honestly wouldn’t be surprised if they told you to go sit somewhere else, or got up and left themselves. but they were still there when you lifted your head again, looking at you worriedly, but without judgment.

mingi was the first to speak, having put the pieces together by now.

“they’re that bad?” you knew whom he meant. he’d seen the message, he’d been the one to figure out they didn’t want you to talk to them, he’d seen the way you’d rummaged your bag, so it wasn’t hard for him to figure out what, or rather whom, you were scared of. yet he couldn’t imagine why you were that scared of people supposed to be your friends.

“worse.” you tried to mask your fear with a bitter tone, but it didn’t exactly work. the boys didn’t exactly know how to react to that, trying desperately to come up with a way to lighten the mood.

“you have eight bodyguards now.” you weren’t the only one surprised when it was jongho that spoke up, but the others were quick to agree, telling you that the girls had to get past them first. ‘mainly jongho, to be fair’, as wooyoung elaborated. and while you still weren’t feeling good about it, you were feeling better now, the fearful expression replaced by a smile. san, not wanting to waste that chance, asked you if he could re-add you to ‘hyung hate club’, and you couldn’t resist the puppy eyes he gave you, so you agreed. as soon as he did so mingi got his phone out, resending the message he’d sent when he’d brought you home. ‘pyjama party this weekend n y/ns still coming’. your reply was an emoji rolling its eyes, but the smile hadn’t left your face. then you saved his number, asking the others to send a message with their name so you could know who was who.

“they’ll never shut up”, hongjoong informed you casually as he sent his name, and while you knew he was telling you, indirectly, that from this moment on you would never be able to have a moment of peace and quiet and no notifications you were happy about this fact, because it meant that at least you wouldn’t be lonely.

“i have my ways.” you grinned at him as you said that, then you went to save all the numbers in your phone. doing so brought your attention to the time, and you noticed that it was time to leave for class, your happy expression immediately disappearing as you realised that they wouldn’t be around to protect you during class. And class was the place you couldn’t escape from; you needed the credits, and part of you also didn’t want to have to give up on something that always brought you joy just because you had to fear you wouldn’t be left alone.

“i need to go.” your expression didn’t go unnoticed, and seonghwa and yeosang, who had this period off, told you they’d be right there if something happened, you just had to send a message. they also insisted on bringing you to your class, and while you did feel a little like a child that needs their parents to bring them everywhere because they’re scared by themselves you also really appreciated it. so you took off with your two bodyguards, waving at the others as they left for their own classes.

“it’ll be fine”, yeosang said after a couple hundred metres during which neither of you had said anything, and you looked at him with doubt apparent in your eyes.

“it will”, seonghwa stated, a lot more sure about it than you were. “and if not, you know we’ll be right there.” that only did little to reassure you, but you had no choice either way.

you reached your classroom way too fast, and you could feel your breath speed up as soon as you walked towards the door, hesitating. maybe you should just drop out of uni and become a shepherd in a secluded village somewhere in a strange country in europe. maybe that was a better plan. but the choice was made for you as one of your now ex-friends waved towards you, a cheery expression on her face that would have fooled you, had you not seen that same expression on her face countless times before, knowing that it meant nothing but danger. but it was too late to turn around now, so all you could do was pretend you didn’t know what you were about to face.

“hey!” your tone was at least as fake as her expression as you greeted her back. then you went to your seat, and for the first half of class things actually went okay. you were tense, you were stressed, you were scared, but nothing happened. but then the teacher told you that it was time to do group work now, and things went downhill. you were grouped by how you were seating, which included you, one of the girls, and two classmates you barely ever talked to, whose names you didn’t even know, but whom you had nothing against, at least. but they would soon have something against you.

as you were working, one of them had her laptop out to take notes and prepare a presentation, as was the task. and that gave your ex-friend an idea. it was an expensive laptop, and you, as always, had a cup of water on the table, fairly close to the middle so it wouldn’t be able to drop by itself. it wouldn’t have to drop by itself, though. first, the girl next to you dropped her pen and kicked it over to the other two, pretending to have done so in an attempt to retrieve it and be able to pick it up.

“i’m sorry, i dropped my pen! can you maybe pick it up, i can’t reach it.” an apologetic smile was sent their way, as if to say ‘sorry for the hassle’. both girls opposite you ducked at the same time, trying to see where the pen was and who would be able to pick it up more easily. that was what she’d planned, though; as soon as they were no longer able to see you, she spilled your water. over the laptop that was still on the table. and as if that wasn’t enough, she got up, yelling your name loudly, asking you why you’d done that. everyone was looking at you by now, and the girl whose laptop had been sacrificed quickly tried to dry it off with her sleeve, asking for tissues, trying to save it. no use, it seemed like it had broken right away. and everyone thought it was you. that you’d broken the laptop on purpose.

“she was writing her thesis, y/n! i knew you were jealous, but i didn’t think you’d go that far!” you just stared at the scene around you wide-eyed, not even fully realising that this was real. by now even the teacher had come to look at what exactly was going on, and your lack of self defense was a seemingly obvious sign of you actually being the culprit.

“i think you should leave the class now. and you will have to replace the laptop.” all you could do was stare at who used to be your friend, unable to believe that she would do this to you. you hadn’t even actually done anything, and you’d been friends with these girls for almost a year now, yet she’d had no hesitation to ruin not only your reputation but also you financially. she was fully aware that you were barely scraping by. she was fully aware that you would never be able to replace the laptop. she knew all that. and she still did it, just because you’d dared to talk to someone they’d called dibs on. you couldn’t believe it.

//

you didn’t really remember how you’d left the class, and were surprised to find that you’d remembered to pack all your things back into your bag, that you hadn’t forgotten anything. you’d just left, going who even knew where, dropping on the floor when your legs didn’t want to carry you anymore, and starting to cry. and you stayed there, crying, losing all feeling for how much time had passed. this had been your last class of the day, so you had nowhere to be, and you didn’t want to be anywhere, either. you wanted to vanish. you wanted to die, in all honesty. if it continued like this your only choice was dropping out, basically having wasted the past year and all the work and money you’d put into your studies.

you were so caught up in your crying that you hadn’t noticed your phone buzzing with message after message, first paying attention to it when someone called you. it was seonghwa, who’d been there to pick you up after class only to see that you weren’t there. you didn’t feel like picking up, so you pressed the red button through your tears. he tried again, with the same result, and first when your phone started buzzing continuously with new messages you took a look at the group chat. now you found out why they were calling you - they’d tried to get you after class, but you weren’t there, and now you’d neither read their messages nor picked up their calls, so they all were quite worried at this point. you felt sorry about that, so you decided to send a message saying ‘sorry for worrying you’, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say that you were fine. it seemed like any sign of you being alive was already a success, though, lots of relieved messages flooding the chat. you hoped that maybe they wouldn’t ask what happened, but of course they did.

[hongjoong]: what happened?

[y/n]: i dont want to talk abt it

the chat was quiet after that, no one really knowing what to say. but, again, mingi sent you a private message.

[mingi]: where are you???

you didn’t want to explain anything and you didn’t want to pretend you were fine, so you just sent him your location, his ‘ill be right there’ coming just a few seconds after you’d sent your message. you were somewhat relieved that you wouldn’t have to be alone right now, but you also dreaded having to explain what happened. for now, though, you should probably focus on looking a little more like a person and a little less like you’d just spent the past hour crying. even though you had it didn’t have to be obvious like that, so you tried to clean off the streaks of ruined makeup on your cheeks, using your phone as a makeshift mirror. once you were done you tilted your head to see if there was anything you’d missed, but it was okay. it wasn’t good, but it was the best you could do right now. then, you waited.

you’d put in your headphones after roughly two minutes of waiting, way too nervous at every single sound that surrounded you, but that also made you miss mingi shouting your name once he’d arrived, and the sudden appearance of his large frame in your field of vision did surprise you quite some, flinching visibly before you took out your headphones and looked up at him, trying to smile but failing miserably. and he immediately caught on, sitting down next to where you were sitting on the floor and looking at you silently for a moment.

“do you want a hug?” he didn’t know what else to offer, but he wanted to let you know that he was there for you, and you willingly accepted the offer. he wrapped his arms around you then, pulling you a little closer so you could rest your head on his shoulder, and then you continued to sit in silence. it was strangely comforting, having someone there for you even when they had no idea what you were even upset about, offering you their presence and leaving the choice of whether or not you wanted to tell to you. you didn’t want to have to leave this situation, the safety you felt when embraced by mingi, who was much taller than you and who made you feel like, even just by virtue of his height, he could protect you. but you had to, you knew you did, you couldn’t spend all day wherever you were now.

“we should go home.” mingi hummed in response, removing his arms from where they were wrapped around you, and the two of you got up. he looked at you hesitantly - you could tell he wanted to say or ask something, so you cocked your head, encouraging him this way to tell you whatever was on his mind.

“they’re all worried, so i was wondering… i told them i’m going to meet you, but i think they’d feel better if they could see for themselves that you’re in one piece.” you nodded, both as a sign of understanding and to show that it was fine with you to meet them before you went home. he nodded as well, slowly starting to walk and somewhat unsure if you’d actually follow him, but you did.

you walked in silence until you reached the train station, where he bought the ticket for you again. you looked at him, about to protest, but when he told you it was his treat again you just nodded, not having the energy to argue and also glad that you could save the money seeing how very soon you’d need every single won. after that, you were silent again, sitting next to each other with your head on his shoulder, which you’d have been embarrassed and shy about if you weren’t so exhausted. you were exhausted, though, and it took all your energy to not fall asleep on him - but at least you succeeded with that, your eyes still somewhat open when he told you you had to get off at the next stop. you sat up, then, immediately missing the warmth and comfort of him so close to you. the boys made you feel weirdly safe, and you couldn’t tell why it was - maybe it was just the unusual feeling of having friends that cared about you even when you had nothing to offer, but no matter what it was, it was nice.

another thing that was nice was that mingi didn’t make you talk, didn’t even try. he’d talk, but he didn’t mind if you didn’t reply. he’d just resume his story, letting you know that he wasn’t ignoring you but that he didn’t expect anything from you. and with this behaviour you slowly started to feel better, feeling ready to tell what had happened by the point you reached the boys’ place.

“mingi?” it seemed like they’d been waiting for him to come home, shouting his name as soon as he’d closed the door behind you.

“and y/n!”, he replied, entering the living room with you in tow. you were somewhat surprised to find them all already gathered there, but mingi didn’t seem to be. he just plopped down on the couch, patting the space next to him to signal you to sit down as well. so you did, staring at your hands as soon as you’d sat down, unsure how to start. and they were unsure as well, unsure if they should ask you or wait until you started talking by yourself.

“i…”, you started, but then stopped again. this was hard.

“i’m sorry for not taking your calls”, was how you decided on starting. “i just- i couldn’t. everything was so much.” and even though you hadn’t even started actually explaining yet a small sob already escaped from your lips, and you hid your face in shame. you looked up again though when you felt a hand on your knee, giving it a reassuring squeeze, and looked at the boy attached to the hand - mingi. he looked at you with soft, encouraging eyes, and you took a few slow breaths before you started talking again.

“they hate me. in class, one of them spilled water on my classmate’s laptop and broke it, and then she said it was me, that i did it because i was jealous of that classmate’s good grades.” you tried very hard to stay calm while telling, not wanting to break down crying before you even finished explaining why you’d ignored them, why you’d run away from class without telling anyone where you were.

“and everyone believed her because no one saw and she doesn’t have a reason to do it but the way she framed it i do, and now the girl is so angry because she was writing her thesis and i think it’s gone now and also the laptop is broken and i have to replace it and i just… i can’t afford that and i don’t know what to do and- ouch!” mingi’s hand had remained on your knee while you spoke, but the more you elaborated the tighter his grip got, seemingly without him noticing, because when he heard you yelp he immediately took away his hand and apologised profoundly for having hurt you.

“i’m just so fucking angry that she’d do that”, he explained. “you literally haven’t done anything!” and he wasn’t the only angry one, either, all the boys visibly fuming.

“but i can’t do anything about it”, you said, sounding defeated, “but i’m so scared that i’ll be kicked out of the course because i need it for my degree and if i get kicked out due to gross misbehaviour, even when it wasn’t actually me, i’ll lose my scholarship and then i won’t be able to continue studying and i won’t have a degree either and no one will hire me and i’ll end up homeless and in debt and… and…” you were unable to continue, your sobs having completely taken over at this point. you felt pathetic for breaking down like this, but your entire future was on the line just because you’d chosen to pick your friends yourself rather than waiting for approval. it was unfair, and it was horrible, and it reinforced the belief in you that if you didn’t do what others told you to do, the consequences would be horrible.

mingi wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his chest - it seemed like out of the eight boys he was the one who’d taken on the role of your protector now, always taking care of you like this, ever since you first met. the others were there as well, of course, but they were more of a silent support as mingi actually pulled you in, and it was okay that way. it worked that way, his deep voice and careful touch being able to calm you down enough that you were able to breathe somewhat regularly again.

“i want to go home now”, you said once the worst was over. you were still sniffling, but you didn’t care. you wanted to go back to your bed, you wanted to hug the teddy bear that you’d owned since you were born, you wanted the comfort of your own home. being here with them was nice, and it had helped you calm down, but your own home, your own bed, was still something different. and it seemed like they could understand that wish to be in a familiar environment, because they just nodded.

“i’ll bring you.” the way he’d said it it didn’t sound like you had a choice, but it was okay. the tall boy had been there for you all afternoon, and he (and the others too, really) would probably feel better if he knew you were home safe and sound. you hummed in response which he correctly interpreted as your okay, because he got up with you and followed you to the door where you stopped to say goodbye and thank them for listening. then you left, the red-haired giant following suit silently.

the train station wasn’t far away, as you knew by now, and the two of you walked next to each other in silence. once there, he paid for your ticket again without a second thought, and while you did feel guilty about it you also were glad he did so. your head rested on his shoulder again during the train ride, something you didn’t even think about anymore; being close to him felt natural, maybe due to the fact that there’d been a lot of good reasons to be close to him in the roughly three days you’d known each other, maybe because he didn’t seem to register it as something noteworthy either.

you didn’t talk during the trip, the first time either of you said anything being when you told him, once you’d gotten off the train, that you were glad he’d brought you, and tried to say goodbye to him unsuccessfully because he told you he’d walk you home unless you’d report him for stalking if he did so. you shook your head, smiling slightly, and started walking. it was once more him who kept the (so far nonexistent) conversation alive, commenting on anything with a child-like wonder in his voice. it sounded like he’d never seen a tree before, or a street, or a house - everything seemed to surprise and somewhat excite him, and in all honesty you thought it was sweet. he managed to distract until you reached your apartment this way, but he noticed the way you tensed up as you unlocked the door. a day ago he’d have thought your fear was an overreaction, and maybe its intensity was, but after what had happened today he was fairly certain it was justified.

“do you want me to go in first?”, he asked as you wouldn’t even fully open the door, obviously scared of what would expect you. you nodded and moved to the side, giving him the option to slip inside. and a couple seconds later he was in front of you again, opening the door widely and telling you that everything was okay. first then did you relax even slightly, entering with careful steps as if you were expecting to jump out of the shadows and murder you. mingi was right, your apartment was fine, but you weren’t. you hated this, hated that you didn’t even feel safe in your own home, and that there was nothing you could do about that.

mingi soon caught on to the fact that even though everything was fine you didn’t seem relaxed at all, looking around like a rabbit expecting the fox to jump out any moment and devour it. and it was your scared expression that made the words leave his mouth before he could stop himself.

“do you want me to stay the night?” you looked at him surprised, both at his words and at the fact that he was still there - you’d forgotten about him in your worry.

“you don’t have to.” you didn’t want to be even more of a bother. you didn’t want him to get annoyed at your scaredy cat-behaviour.

“but do you want me to?”

“you don’t have anything here.” really, you were just trying to come up with excuses for not directly answering his question, because the answer would have been a ‘yes’. yes, you did want him to stay the night, but you didn’t want him to do so because he felt like he had to.

“that’s fine. it’s just a night, and i only have late classes tomorrow. do you want me to?”

you couldn’t stand to look at him as you nodded, feeling weak and vulnerable and like a burden, but he just said ‘okay’, then got out his phone and started typing.

“i’m just letting them know”, he explained when he saw your questioning expression, and you nodded again. you felt slow, tired, and you just wanted to sleep. and yet once more he seemed to know exactly what you were thinking.

“you should go to bed”, he told you softly, “i’ll be right here.”

“you need sleep too!” it was first then you realised that you couldn’t offer him the luxury of choosing his bed for the night, that you couldn’t even offer him the luxury of having anything bigger than a single-person bed. but he didn’t seem to care, nodding.

“just get ready. i’ll wait.” and because you were way too tired to argue about anything at all, you just grabbed your pyjamas from your bed and left for the bathroom to get changed. you got into your pyjamas and wiped the worst stains off your face with a wet washcloth, but didn’t have the energy for anything else. this would have to do for today.

mingi was waiting for you on the floor when you got back, jacket, shirt and shoes huddled together next to him. maybe usually you’d have been a little flushed at him being shirtless, but in this moment all that mattered was getting into bed and sleeping. so you crawled underneath your blanket, moving as close to the wall as possible so he’d be able to still comfortably fit in next to you. he joined, pulling the blanket to cover both of you, and as soon as he’d done so you told him goodnight, him replying with a ‘goodnight’ of his own. he was fairly certain you’d fall asleep right away by how exhausted you seemed, but he found himself surprised when after roughly half an hour you were still tossing and turning.

“you okay?” he didn’t know if this was normal for you or something to be worried about, but he wanted to be sure you weren’t suffering silently just because you didn’t want to bother him.

“tell me something nice”, was what you replied instead of answering his question.

“what do you want to hear?”

“i don’t care. something happy.”

he thought for a moment before he started telling you about his seventh birthday, trying to remember as many details as possible so he’d have something to tell until you’d fallen asleep. his low, calm voice calmed your anxious heartbeat a little, and you stopped shifting so much. you did, however, scoot closer to him subconsciously, your back soon pressed against his chest as you sought out his comforting presence, his warmth. he wasn’t sure if you’d done it on purpose, so he didn’t immediately wrap his arm around you, softly putting his fingertips onto your waist first to wait for your reaction, to see if you’d shy away from his touch. but you did the opposite, grabbing his hand and pressing it close to your chest as if it was a lifeline keeping you from drowning. he just resumed his story, not commenting on it, and you were glad he didn’t. and cuddled up like that his deep, steady voice managed to lull you to sleep.

[muwur]

idk if this counts as an emergency or comfort request but ive been havin a REAL bad body image week nsnnnsnnnsnn could i maybe request headcanons for either oikawa or kuroo (u can pick if u wanna) with an s/o who is rlly self conscious about being chubby/has a really hard time with food and mayb feels like worthless because theyre not the ideal body type? idk sorry if thats dumb aaaah thank u sm if u choose to do this

self-love

♡ scenarios ♡ for oikawa and kuroo

❧ gn reader

✎ 3.7k words

a/n: hey hun, im sorry to hear you’ve been having a rough time lately. this kind of request actually rlly hits close to home, and if u ever need anything, ur mor than welcome to reach out to me :) i can also help look for resources for help, anything really. this goes for all y’all! i dont want none y’all to feel alone with anything ur going thru cuz we’re in this together! and no need to thank me, the pleasure is mine luv 🥰💕 nothing about this is dumb, ur feelings are valid. i hope this will bring you n many others some comfort. also,, FUCK BODY STANDARDS MAKIN US BELIEVE THERE’S AN IDEAL TYPE BC THERE IS NONE N Y’ALL R BEAUTIFUL N IF U DUN THINK SO I WILL COME OVER DER,,, ok im done 🥰🥰 (more notes at the bottom of this, i talk a lot n think its important, didnt wanna add it up here bc it was too long lolol) tw: mentions of bad body and implies disordered eating behaviors

 oikawa

♡ Oikawa was pretty keen, so when he observed a gradual shift in your behavior, he definitely took notice

♡ One day when you showed up to lunchtime empty-handed and sat with your two friends, casually chatting, Oikawa and Iwaizumi gave you a questioning look

♡ “Where’s your lunch, y/n?” Oikawa asked

♡ “Oh, I, uh, ate it already, actually.”

♡ Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow and offered you some of his, but you declined, thanking him and stating you were already full

♡ Later that day in class, however, Oikawa couldn’t help but notice the absence of your boxed lunch container in your unzipped backpack

♡ The next day, you came empty-handed again, blaming it on your forgetfulness during your rush to get to school

♡ However, it became a normal occurrence over time, and while you seemed fine, uneasiness began to prick inside Oikawa’s stomach

♡ Those smiles you wore appeared fragile, and the laughter that rumbled from your throat felt restrained

♡ You seemed more tired and unfocused than usual

♡ Preoccupied, withdrawn, and distant

♡ He could sense something was bothering you, no matter how much you may (or may not) have tried to hide it

♡ On his way to school one morning, he made sure to stop by a convenience store to pick one of your favorite snacks, thinking it was a simple gesture to brighten up the somber aura he’s been detecting from you

♡ “I have a surprise for you, y/n~” Oikawa announced with excitement, rummaging through his bag to pull out the snack and show it to you. “Look, it’s your favorite!”

♡ You could only offer him an uneasy smile, “Oh, you shouldn’t have...” You really shouldn’t have...

♡ When he noticed the tension in your body and expression, a frown appeared on his lips

♡ “Y/n? Is something wrong?” He reached out to place a comforting hand on your shoulder but you swiftly flinched away

♡ ”I’m fine..!”

♡ Surprised at your sudden movement and outburst, you both felt a split second of apprehension crackle in the air before you started to gather your items in a rush

♡ Sighing, you repeated, “I’m fine.”

♡ He wasn’t sure whether you were speaking to him or yourself

♡ “Thanks for the snack, but I’ll pass. Have it for me. You need it more, anyways; you have volleyball practice. I’ll see you tomorrow, Oikawa,” you offered him a solemn smile and left before he could even reply

♡ Some time had passed before he could finally get you to open up to him

♡ And when you did, it crushed his heart to see how much your insecurities broke you

♡ It hurt to hear how low you thought about yourself; how you couldn’t see the beauty in your being; how you deemed food, your body, and yourself as your worst enemies

♡ Thus bringing you to the conclusion that maybe you’d be happy and like yourself if you could just give up that midday snack or your school lunch

♡ Even raincheck a cafe date you were supposed to have together

♡ Maybe also skip dinner, sometimes breakfast the next morning as well

♡ You could manage on just water

♡ Little sacrifices to shed some weight, feel better, and get closer to your ideal body goals

♡ You admitted, however, to questioning whether any of it was worth it

♡ The constant states of hunger, pain, and defeat you lived in

♡ Only to feel as though you were getting nowhere

♡ Oikawa was well aware of today’s beauty standards. I mean, he himself was often praised for his natural charm and beauty

♡ And you felt you could never reach that ideal

♡ “Oikawa, you’re too good for me.”

♡ His eyebrows knitted in concern as he lifted his right hand to caress your cheek softly. “And why do you say that?”

♡ Tears threatened to prick at your eyes. All you could was stare at the ground in silent shame

♡ When you still said nothing, he leaned in closer, his brown gaze softly pleading

♡ “Y/n, look at me.”

♡ When your eyes flickered up to meet his own, Oikawa asked, “You know I love you, right?”

♡ His question was met with a meek, “Yes.”

♡ From your clouded glaze, he could tell that you had a hard time believing in your own response

♡  “Do you know why?”

♡ But before you could respond, he was already answering his own question

♡ “Well...” he began, glancing up in thought and wearing a small smile

♡ “Something about you makes me want to be by your side. I love to see your smiles and hear your laughter, but I always want to be there to hold you when you’re crying and in pain.”

♡ “You’re supportive. You understand what I need, and I don’t always have to explain myself to you. You take your time with me and make me feel like I can be myself. Not many people have stuck around to actually get to know me. Because of that, you’ve never failed to make my day a little better with just your presence.”

♡ “You’re strong and caring. I can rely on you to have my back, and I hope I provide that same comfort to you as well.”

♡ “I love being able to lazy around with you or go on adventures and discover something new. It’s comfortable and exciting at the same time.”

♡ “Your hands feel like they were made to hold mine.”

♡ He reached down to squeeze your hand gently

♡ “Kissing you makes me forget about everything else on my mind. I can just live in the present with you.”

♡ He moved close and gave you a peck above your eyebrow

♡ “You make me want to work hard and be a better person. You help motivate me to try my best, and you never give up on me. Why would I ever give up on you?”

♡  “I learn something new with you everyday. Like right now, I realize that I’ve never met someone who could so easily make my heart race as they could make my heart break.”

♡ “When I look at you, all I can think about is how beautiful you are and how lucky I am to have you in my life as a partner and one of my best friends. Nobody else could fill the gaps within me the same way you do.”

♡ Leaning over to brush his lips against your forehead, he muttered, “I’m going to love every part of you, inside and out. You’re already my ideal. I couldn’t ask for anything more. I could go on about every detail on why I feel so strongly for you, but I’m here to show you everything there is to appreciate about yourself because you’re worth every ounce of care and effort. And if you can’t see it in yourself right now, I’ll love you more than enough for the both of us until you learn to love yourself. I’m here to help.”

♡ And after crying out your tears into his shoulder as he held you close and rubbed your back, you both went to his house to relax and have some dinner

♡ He was patient with you, taking into account how having a meal may have made you feel anxious

♡ It was something small and simple that you two agreed to prepare and share, after some tender coaxing from Oikawa

♡ He later made a list in his journal about tips to keep in mind:

♡ ‘Check up on y/n often to see how they’re feeling’

♡ ‘Encourage them to eat meals/snacks. Don’t be too pushy, but be patient. Try to have eat with them when you can!’

♡ ‘Remind them they don’t have to earn the right to eat, and that their body doesn’t define their worth‘

♡ ‘Look into some mindfulness techniques!’

♡ ‘Don’t overvalue physical appearance. Also focus on all the other redeeming qualities y/n has! But of course I’m always gonna tell them they look cutee--’

♡ True to his word, he remained understanding

♡ He’s there to listen to you, or to sit with you in comforting silence

♡ During lunch he would share his food with you, reassuring you that it wasn’t something you had to avoid

♡ Some days he succeeds in encouraging you to share a milk bun or your favorite snack with him

♡ And on days you really didn’t feel like it, he never forces anything onto you and instead made sure you at least hydrated

♡ Oikawa spends some time doing research and gathering tips on how to help you

♡ Always reminds you of your worth and how you bring out the best in him

♡ He’ll never hold it against you if you ever become hostile, irritated, or in denial. He knows you’re hurting and doesn’t take it personally

♡ Sends you cute memes with all those emoji hearts

♡ Also some food puns (Oikawa: “I’m soy into you. Please brie mine. We are mint to be. I ap-peach-iate you. You got a pizza my heart. Olive you--” ; You: *puts a hand over his mouth* ; Oikawa: 🥺 ; You: “...olive you, too”)

♡ Always ready to give up what he’s doing to make sure you’re okay

♡ Will stay up with you late at night to talk on the phone

♡ Reminds you you’re beautiful at least 8 times a day

♡ If y’all ever go shopping and you try things on in the fitting room,, Oikawa would be your #1 hype man

♡ One time you tried something on, and you were almost too ashamed to step out and show him

♡ But when you did, you were met with his surprise and excitement

♡ “dfghjklkuyfuh” was all you could process from his incoherent speech before he insisted on treating you by purchasing it for you (Oikawa: “Can you wear this for me, like, everyday?” ; You: *weird look* “Why are you like this??” you love it tho--)

♡ Gushes internally over how cute you are during your movie + cuddle sessions, mostly pays attention to you rather than the movie

♡ Mid-movie be like:

♡ Oikawa: “So, uh, what’s happening again?

♡ You: -.- “You might as well google the whole synopsis instead of watching it”

♡ Oikawa: “...it’s not my fault you’re distracting, babe”

♡ Always politely excuses himself from his fangirls to get to you. Also reassures you he much prefers to be with you than anyone else and that you’re the best catch ;)) (You: “Oikawa, no” ; Oikawa: “y/n, yes”)

♡ Suggested doing some meditation together once

♡ You listened to a recording and you sat side by side on a mat, but Oikawa thought the person’s voice sounded funny so he had a hard time focusing

♡ But it ended with y’all laughing and making jokes as he lay his lead on your lap and you played with his hair

♡ Y’all get better at it tho

♡ Cooking dates! To try to show you that food isn’t an enemy and can bring people together :)

♡ Puts music on so y’all can jam together (Oikawa: “Oh my gosh, y/n, this is my favorite song, you’re not even rEADY to see me perform-- ; You: “Oikawa, t-the food! It’s burning!!”)

♡ Cooking dates also show that you should never leave the stove unattended

♡ Every once in a while he suggests seeking professional help. He wishes he could take away your pain and help you all his own, but he knows this is more complicated and required outside help, too

♡ Has help resources READY

♡ As well as small snacks like granola bars for you if you ever feel faint

♡ He doesn’t hesitate to confront you when he feels it’s necessary and he’s worried about your habits

♡ He handles things well, though, and often convinces you to take care of yourself more, even though he’s there to look after you

♡ Has made it his mission to help you win against your battle with insecurities

♡ Overall, he’s very caring and empathetic, hoping one day you’ll see yourself the way he sees you 💖 : strong, amazing, breathtaking, & perfectly imperfect

kuroo

♡ Occasionally, you would think about the day you broke down in front of him

♡ Your body racked with repressed whimpers as you tried to wipe the tears from your eyes and describe the recent state of your mind through choked sobs

♡ Lately, your thoughts were being especially relentless in making you feel miserable

♡ Oftentimes you’d be able to shove the negative thoughts to the back of your mind and carry on your day as usual, expertly acting as though everything in your life was going smoothly

♡ However, you found yourself fighting a losing battle against your own conscious, heavily preoccupied with thoughts of your own worthlessness

♡ And so you tried to cope

♡ But you were painfully aware of everything you felt was wrong with you

♡ You felt uncomfortable in your skin

♡ Every time you passed by your own reflection, you couldn’t help but mentally recoil at the image looking back at you

♡ Your clothes didn’t fit right

♡ Even when you opted for baggy clothes, you felt like you were taking up all the space in them

♡ Maybe it was the weight gain. You could see and feel it in your face, your arms, your stomach, your legs... everywhere

♡ You just wanted to hide away your shame

♡ Perhaps it was the dessert you allowed yourself to eat the other day. Foolish of you to think then that you wouldn’t regret it as much as you did afterwards

♡ As a consequence of those foolish actions, you made mental notes about anything and everything you ate. What it was, how much of it you had, etc

♡ Trying to restrict so that maybe you would lose some weight and come to like how you look

♡ Your obsessive thoughts of food and weight overtook your mind like a dark cloud

♡ Your favorite foods, which before would never fail to brighten your mood, taunted you with shame and guilt

♡ Exercise? Sometimes it was an activity you genuinely enjoyed. Other times, a chore that made you feel shitty or numb and reinforced your unhealthy desire to lose

♡ And you sometimes found yourself crying over your last meal, one you know you didn’t need. One you didn’t deserve

♡ And each time you released the reins on your self-control, you felt pathetic going against the vow you made to yourself  

♡ At this rate, you’d never be beautiful or be happy with yourself

-You’d remain unworthy, fat, disgusting--

-But before you could continue, your story was cut off by the impact of Kuroo’s embrace

-Your surprise silenced your sobs, and you could only stare wide-eyed at the space in front of you as you felt his arms squeeze tightly around your frame

-You both sat there for a few moments on your knees, with your back lightly leaning against a wall

- “I’m sorry for the pain you’re experiencing,” he begins softly. “Thank you for sharing with me. It must’ve taken a lot for you to do that.”

-He was right. It was your first time reaching out to another person about this. It was the last thing you thought you would’ve done today

- “I want to let you know that you shouldn’t be ashamed for feeling this way. Reaching out is important and brings you the help you need to get better. I know you might not want help right now or think that these thoughts and behaviors are a problem. However, telling me about all this shows that some part of you is recognizing there’s something wrong and you can’t always handle it on your own.”

-There were many reasons you kept this to yourself. You didn’t want to bother anyone else. Your problems seemed so trivial.  You worried saying them aloud would confirm your beliefs. You were scared people would see you differently. You--

-The intrusive thoughts never failed to make you feel ashamed

-However, it was oddly comforting to release the pent up emotions. To know you didn’t have to bottle up this burden anymore, and that you weren’t alone

-You were about to murmur in response when,

- “Also, you’re an idiot, y/n.”

- “Wow, thanks, as if I don’t already think that about myself,” you bit back in response

-You were about to shove him away just when he released his grip around your body and placed his hands on your shoulders

-His eyes shone with determination and a faint, inviting smile spread on his lips

- “You are the one of the single most important things in my life. I just mean you’re an idiot in the sense that you’re overevaluating one aspect to define your whole self. You’ve forgotten about all your other redeeming qualities that contribute to who you are.”

♡ “Your size, weight, shape; none of that matters. What matters is your health and happiness. Neglecting yourself in order to reach an ‘ideal’ that you’ve concluded is the answer to your self-worth is only bringing you farther away from what you truly want.”

♡ “I don’t mean to downplay any of your emotions or how significant this is to you. Your first step was to put your trust into someone else about this. That’s done. Now, I’m here to help you undergo self-evaluation and serve as encouragement on your journey to self-love and acceptance.”

♡ “I also want to remind you progress is not linear. There will be times when things are harder, and that’s okay; it’s part of the process. If you’re open to getting better in the future, I’m sure as hell going to be there every step of the way.”

♡ And with a soft peck to the forehead and another hug, he nuzzled into your neck and muttered, “I love you. And I want you to love yourself. So, please, allow me to help you through this and I guarantee that by the end of it all, it’ll have been so worth it.”

♡ Unsure what to say, you gripped his jacket tighter, buried your head in his shoulder, and muttered, “Thank you.”

♡ While the negative feelings about yourself remained afterward, you were relieved that your boyfriend was supportive and calm

♡ He treated you the same as always, teasing you over dumb things while making you feel like you stood among the highest peaks on Earth

♡ The day after, he had shown up to your house, weary-eyed and carrying his backpack

♡ “Kuroo? Why are you here? Also, why do you look so tired??”

♡ He stepped into your house with a yawn. He stretched his arms, then reached for his bag and whipped out his laptop

♡ “I stayed up a bit last night to do some research, babe! I also learned a lot about nutrition and molecular gastronomy, so I could help you come up with a meal plan that you’re okay with!”

♡ You were touched he was educating himself on how to help you

♡ But you drew the line at the science jokes-- (Kuroo: “You know you love them.” ; You: “‘Na’ I don’t.” ; Kuroo: :ooo “Did you just-- Marry me.”) (Na = sodium lol)

♡ His nutritional research helped you to learn the contents of food beyond calories; mans explains the vitamins, nutrients, amino acids, etc in them that you need and their benefits

♡ “Trout, avocados, and almonds have vitamin E, which is good for your skin! Oh, and don’t get me started on bananas. Yes, they have carbs (which your body needs anyway as a source of energy!), but POTASSIUM?? Shit’s gonna regulate your fluid balance, maintain heart health, stimulate normal muscle function, AND help your brain to communicate with the rest of your body!”

♡ ALSO cooking dates; just as chaotic (“Aw mannn, the egg exploded all over the microwave!” dont ask y it was being microwaved)

♡ Over time, he’s taken mental notes about your thoughts, feelings, triggers, etc

♡ He’s quick to pick up on your mood and will always ask you how you’re doing

♡ Tries to do something special for you on days you’re especially not feeling well, like taking you on a spontaneous date! (You: “Do you know how to ice skate?” ; Kuroo: “Uhh,,, after today, I will hopefully”)

♡ But will also opt for staying in with you and cuddling when you don’t want to go out (Kuroo: “I heard this movie is soooo bad! ...wanna watch it?”)

♡ Invited you to the beach with his team during the first week of summer

♡ You were unsure about this, since that meant going out in public, potentially with minimal clothing

♡ You initially sat on a beach towel under an umbrella, wearing the security of a T-shirt. He’d been aware of how you felt ever since he asked you to come, so he would sit with you and link an arm around your shoulder

♡ “I’m lucky I get to spend this day with you,” he’d say. “You look gorgeous. You always do. Now, I wanna see you smile and have fun. Let’s go take a dip, yeah?” He offered his hand, which you shyly took, and pulled you up

♡ Then immediately picked you up and started running to the water to get you soaking wet, and you were forced to ditch the heavy, waterlogged shirt

♡ However, you silently thanked him for his sweet words, making you feel secure enough to just forget your worries and enjoy the warm sun and cool water

♡ He also tries his best to lessen your anxieties over food and often shares/eats meals with you

♡ Reminds you everyday how much you’re worth to him and that there’s nothing about you that needs to change

♡ This sweet, protective, n smart boi will treat you how you deserve. It’s a guarantee he’ll be there through thick and thin, and he’s excited for the day you realize you’re just as amazing as he knows you are 💕

a/n: oop this was rlly long lol mb, i just may or may not personally know a bit about this so i went oFF

also neded to some som silly n fluff bc we all need dat

also, these r like kinda hc’s ?? but also a deconstructed oneshot/scenario?? bc they provide some rly brief bg story? one from more  of the character perspective while the other more on y/n before we get  to the hc’s about how he treats y/n. how everyone struggles w body image is different n i wanted to portray a bit of what it felt like and how it could manifest in ppl’s behaviors/thoughts. however, this is not to say that everyone feels exactly like this. what i wrote only represents a fraction of it all.

by providing some sort of bg i hope im not making u feel like this isnt u  or that u cant relate, pls lmk if i need to change anything to make it  right for u <3 ok now im actually done sry long author’s note  rfguhofe this is just rlly important to me y’all  , stay safe n take care, much luv for u <3

[nctloveclub]

mamihlapinatapai

– pairing: mark lee x reader

– genre: angst!

– words: 2.25k

– a/n: its been a while since ive posted but i hope you like it :D i hope to get back into writing after putting it off for so long :(

(n.) a look shared by two people, each wishing that the other would initiate something they both desire but which neither wants to begin

you and mark were best friends, but the two of you haven't known each other long

like usually best friends have known each other since their childhood but you and mark had met in your second year of high school !

it wasn't anything extraordinary just simple. he ended up coming to class late and he had picked the seat next to you.

it was strange at first because it was like ??? ummm who ??? my friend usually sits there ???? (but they were home sick that day oooooh)

so the next day mark sits in the same seat next to you and when you're friend walks in they give you a look and you just shrug

they give you a wink and just sit in the seat in front of you

then that's when mark actually starts talking to you

hes a little shy at first just introducing himself to you and you do the same

at lunch mark ends up finding you and sits across from you

not gonna lie the air is a little awkward but two of you take the lunch period to actually talk and get to know each other

you find out that you had actually went to the same middle school but just in different friend crowds

the conversation was just simple

that's a word that would describe yours' and mark's relationship: simple

he was a breath of fresh air

he was something new, someone who you got along with

over the course of the year, the two of you had actually gotten closer and mark had actually befriended your other friend

"sorry i took your seat...."

your friend just looks at him and laughs, "dude its fine it's just a seat. if anything im glad you helped my little y/n get out of their shell."

you send a playful glare at your friend's way and continue the conversation you had with mark

eventually, your third year of high school has begun and the both of you are extremely close, like no one can separate the two of you

youre sad when you find out mark and you only share the same lunch period, having the same classes but different periods

"it's alright, i'll see you at lunch." he smiles and you nod, mark walking you to your first period

you dread your first day, making small talk with the people around you but you don't mind, impatiently waiting till lunch starts

you and mark immediately meet up, looking for a place to sit in the crowded cafeteria

you sit in a somewhat secluded area, there are still tables surrounding you but it's mostly away from the crowd

the two of you catch up and talk about how your first day has been going

soon enough lunch ends and mark's walking you to your 6th period

the day comes to an end and mark is waiting for you at the front of school, waiting to walk you home

"you know you don't have to walk me, you literally live in the opposite direction." you say as the two of you begin your walk

"i know, i do it because i want to." he replies nonchalantly and for the first time you feel something in your stomach

you feel butterflies in your stomach when mark walks you to your doorstep and they intensify when he gives you a hug before leaving

you watch as mark walks in the direction of his home and cant but wonder what the hell you were feeling

the school year continues to go on and everyday feels like a routine

mark walks you to school and first period, the day goes on, you meet at lunch and he walks you home

but as everyday passes, you cant help but feel more butterflies creep in your stomach as you see mark or when he holds your hand

what you didnt know was that mark had felt the same way, he had started to feel nervous around you, that he couldn’t think straight around you, you made his heart race and his face heat up

he started to become more affectionate towards you, holding your hand more often and wrapping his arm around you casually and also occasionally giving you forehead kisses

mark was just the sweetest boy ever and you couldn't believe that he really was your best friend, he made you feel like you were in a movie, that you were a protagonist in a love novel

he made you feel like you were on clouds and that whenever you were with him you felt like home

it took time for you to fully realize that you had fallen in love with your best friend

mark had also started to pick up on the fact that you were constantly blushing around him and he made you nervous

he felt a weight lifted off his chest, that maybe you reciprocated the feelings he had for you* but as they say, all good things must come to an end eventually

mark had told you that he wanted to become an idol, that music was his passion and something he wanted to pursue

of course you were supportive of him, you wanted to give the whole world to him

you always gave him words of encouragement and praised him for his talent

"remember me when you're famous mark." you say to him one day

"come on y/n, i'll never forget you. besides who said im gonna be famous one day, what if i don't end up making it anywhere?"

your eyes gape at him. "'mark are you serious? of course you're gonna be famous. you're one if the most talented people i know. if anyone were to become famous it would be you, you deserve it. you've worked so hard to achieve your dreams and you're an amazing rapper.

dont ever undermine yourself mark. and if anything, i'll always be here for you. i'll always be here to support you"

mark almost starts crying at your words and he can see the look the in your eyes that meant you meant every word you said

he didn't know what he did in his past life to deserve you but he's glad that he was able to meet you that fateful day

so mark begins his own training, starting to write songs, practice singing and dancing to become an idol

he tells you at lunch one day that a kpop company was gonna be holding global auditions next week and that he's gonna try

you're obviously excited for him and tell him to not worry and that he's gonna make it, that the company would be an absolute fool to not recruit him

then next week comes and mark misses a day of because of auditions

you don't mind, sending him a quick message telling him good luck !!! you got this dude :D

_also you'll be fine stop worrying :_p

the next day mark is back at school and he's anxiously waiting for the company to contact him to see if he made it to the second round

you notice it and reassure him that he'll be fine

but he looks at you and you notice that there's also something else on his mind, you don't question him yet though. he doesn't seem in the right head space

"mark what's wrong?" you ask as mark walks you home

your hand is intertwined in his, and he’s looking down on the sidewalk,

he looks up at you, "what do you mean?"

"at lunch, you seemed pretty anxious about the audition, but something else seemed off about you."

"well yeah im nervous. i think im gonna make it though, the audition was fine." he tells you and your brows furrow

"then whats the problem?" you ask, your voice more quiet

"the company is based in korea. i mean you already knew that but still. if i make it to second and end up passing it, i'll be moving to korea to become an idol." mark explains and your heart stops for a bit

the realization has sunk in your head

all this time you've been encouraging mark and letting him live out his dream but you never realized that you were gonna end up losing him

you feel your eyes start to water and you look up at him, already looking back at you

"dont cry, please." he tells you softly, bringing you into a hug, "i dont want to lose you but i can't hold you back." you whisper into his chest

"but what about us?" he asks, his voice sad

that question was hung in the air, what was gonna happen to you and mark?

you had come to fact that you were in love with him but this was his dream

maybe you could be selfish once, to tell him to stay, to try and pursue a career here, at home

but that wouldn't be fair to mark, this was something he dreamed about, you wouldn't allow yourself be the reason he stayed home

"nothing is gonna happen to us, i'll still be here to support you, even if you're thousands of miles away, i'll always be here for you."

the rest of the walk to your house was quiet, mark having attached you to his side and he didnt seem to plan to let you go anytime soon

when you arrived at your house, mark held you into his arms and his eyes looked into yours

you noticed the gleam in them, full of sadness and longing

you felt your mind screaming at you, to make the first move, to show mark how much you love him before it's too late

but you couldn't bring yourself to do it, it'd be too selfish

mark felt the same emotional turmoil

he wanted to hold you in his arms and just spend the rest of his life with you

he could see the sadness in your eyes and he realized what he would truly be giving up to achieve his dreams

his mind wanted him to just confess his love there, to just cup your cheeks and press his lips to yours

as the two of you gazed into each others eyes, you both came to the realization that you were both feeling the same thing

but the two of you couldn't bring yourself to do it, and with that you separated

mark had finally let go of your waist and you both moved away

you walk into your home and mark went to his

the next day mark tells you he made it to the second round and you give him a smile

a smile mark can see right through

he knows how heartbroken you feel and the pain you feel

he just wished he wasnt the cause of it

the school year is coming to an end and you'll become a senior

mark had ended up passing the second audition and he and his family would be moving to korea

the day he told you, you broke into tears

tears of joy and happiness but also of pain

you were beyond ecstatic for him, he was finally gonna achieve his dream of becoming an idol

but he was leaving, and you wouldnt know if he was ever gonna come back

the school year ends and mark tells you that he'll be moving to korea next week, where he'll be training and starting his senior year

you dread the next couple days

you and mark are inseparable, spending all the time you can before he goes

time goes by quick, one minute the two of you are having a movie night in your living room and the next you're saying your goodbyes at the airport

"i'm sorry y/n" mark tells you

"for what"

"for leaving."

"hey don't be sorry for that, you're pursuing something thats gonna make you happy and that's all i ever want from you, for you to be happy." you say, tears falling from your eyes

mark starts to cry at your words, his thumbs moving to wipe away your tears, which actually make them fall harder

he brings you into a hug and you look up at him and stare into his eyes one last time

the eyes that always made you happy, the eyes that always looked at you in adoration,

the eyes that always made you feel at home

the two can feel the longing the other holds, but you both can't bring yourself to do it

as the two of you continue to hug until mark has to leave you whisper the three words you've yearned to tell him

"i love you." you say, looking right into his eyes

"i love you too."

you hear mark's parents call for him, telling him that they have to board soon

the two of you finally separate and you're full on crying

mark begins to walk off before turning around and giving you one last smile, one you return through your tears

you watch as mark board and you wait and watch as his plane leaves, officially separating you from the boy you love

mark looks out the plane window, watching as the airport begins to get smaller and smaller

he lets out a sigh and feels his heart ache

you take out your phone and text mark, knowing he'll see it when he lands

i love you, dont forget me when you're famous ;)

"oh how could i ever forget you"