#the actual designs were too complicated for me to draw 😭😭

[iwanttobepersephone]

@name-s-are-not-important I made the first design! Which one should I do next, Pauline or Crowley?

Also, if you need me to type out what the little boxes say, I can do that np

[mayordea]

Happy birthday to the number one princess in the world!! 💖

~from her biggest fans :)

ramble of my scattered thoughts on the piece under cut as usual cuz i love talking 😋

This has been an idea I've been cookin for a while, and it was so cluttered and unlike any other ensemble piece I've made... and I decided I oughta do it anyway. I love Miku, I love Vocaloid, and I wanted to do something really ambitious and crazy for her anniversary. Crazy that she's turning her "canon" age this year TwT

I had the idea floating around since like, May...? And then finally started acting on it around June 18. I'm terrible with deadlines, obvious with how I can never make a silly birthday post in time, so I started wayyyy ahead to make sure I have some room to be lazy lol, especially with an idea as ambitious as this.

This was finished on July 12! So I had to sit on this for an annoying amount of time. Very difficult for someone like me who just wants to talk about everything I'm working on to the masses. But at the very least, that gave me the time to work on the draft for this post.

~~~

Here's some ~behind the scenes~ scribbles leading up to the finished piece!

Left is the chicken scratch plan i made in my handy dandy notebook (whenever things are getting real and ambitious, i always made a rough ROUGH plan in there. Usually I'd do a rough pass of the full thing, but this was too complicated for me to do traditionally. I majorly benefited from digital tools to make this possible). CyberDiva and CyberSongman were considered, but I ended up cutting them cuz I just didn't feel like drawing them sorry-- (just pretend they're off to the side. They gave Ruby and Clara the pizza lol). Right is the "final" completed sketch (before I decided to include Chika mid-way through coloring and VY1 and VY2 near the finish line). I started by drawing the main "groups" separated on a different canvas so I can plop them into the main canvas for easy rearranging and transforming. However I got lazy and ended up drawing everyone in the bottom right corner directly on the canvas since I liked seeing the big picture of everyone's positions. Y'know.

Almost excluded Chika! But I like her design so much that I just felt like including her last-minute. You win this time, Chika fans. VY1 and VY2 were very close to being cut! I added them when I began doing the banner and thought "eh why not". I figured their non-human designs would be pretty easy to include pushed back in the bg. Ik VY1 is more commonly associated with the fan design, but I referenced the hairpin cuz it was simpler and the fan looked very annoying to draw 😭

Sorry to the fans of many Vocaloids I had to cut because this composition was insane enough as is. I promise I wanted to include fellas like CUL, LUMi and Sachiko 😭 I will admit I was a little biased on who I wanted to include over others. Like, I don't normally care for Bruno and Clara, but I wanted to get some more international 'loids in the mix. Also wanted to stick in the realm of official designs and not fan-designs since, as much as I can appreciate those, are just a whole "wait who is that guy supposed to be" situation I didn't wanna deal with. I also did wanna include even more character references through the balloons, but they ended up being kind of ugly and overcomplicated the BG :,) (Oh, and while this was originally planned to be a Vocaloid-only piece, I did end up including Teto, Neru, and Haku 'cuz those are Miku's besties dude!!! They may not be Officially in the club but they're her girls and it would be criminal to not invite them to her birthday).

Anyway, this project marks the first time I've drawn a lot of Vocaloids. Lily, Piko, Rana, Yuki, Yukari, Miki, Maika, and many more lol. All of 'em I've heard or seen in passing, but now I actually drew them, and some have really cool and fun designs!! I got into a habit of drawing Merli after this since I just love her design for example. And I'll probably be drawing more lol!!

Oh and the last thing I'll add for now!! The cake is indeed made up of various song references!! I wanted to reference the "big four" producers, just absolute icons in Vocaloid history. The pink/black checkerboard is "World is Mine" (Ryo), the crescents on the side is "Rolling Girl" (Wowaka), the smiley faces is "Matryoshka" (Hachi), and the three hearts on the side is "The Vampire" (DECO*27, which is sort of a symbol of his whole Mannequin album tbh). I know "The Vampire" is a bit modern but I couldn't think of anything else off the top of my head. I'm a fake DECO fan I know 😔 "Matryoshka" was originally going to be referenced in the colors of the candles but believe me it looked like shit so I just went for something else last minute 😭

That's all I have to say!!! Hope you didn't mind the text wall if you made it here. I hope you like it as much as I do!!!! Happy freakin' birthday Miku!!!!

I have to deal with tagging all these characters now for my page,,, in the drafts my tags got cut off after a certain point so I think I'm massively breaching the tag limit 😭 um... I'll figure that out later...

not losing sleep that i can't tag everyone, even for page organization purposes because some characters have pretty generic names and some are a little hard to see in full yknow. If you're one of those people who tag every character in the art piece you reblog... I am very sorry.

[mikuyuuss]

Waaaah~! Thank you for reblogging my ask game, Unni!

Since you're open to answering questions, can I ask 4, 18, and 20 for Akari?

AHHH thanks for the ask as always Erika!!

4. Why did you give them the name they have? Whats the in universe reason for their name?

Im gonna be honest IM BAD AT NAMING THINGS 😭😭 So I happen to choose Akari because it's a common girl's name and it sounds pretty (surely if it's a common name it won't have a weird meaning RIGHT???!!!) At first I was scared bc apparently the "aka" in akari can also mean red which like, Akari's obviously not a red girly 😂

But her name actually ended up having a beautiful meaning to it (Thank God) The "明" in her name stands for "light" or "brilliance" I believe. Coincidentally, I also have "明" in my name too. I believe it's associated with smartness (at least in chinese culture) So I believe Akari was given that name by her parents because she is the light in their life, and they want her to grow up as a brilliant person.

18. Imagine meeting your oc what would you imagine you'd say to them or do with them

It's gonna be SO messy and complicated if she knew that I created her. In all seriousness I don't think Akari would like me at all. Anyways that aside.. If things were a little simpler, I'd love to just hang out with her, play dress up and do cosplays and other fun stuffs. I could give her words of encouragement about the things that I wish I could tell myself too, but in reality I think I will just go :

She can do it because she's fast and I'm as slow as a turtle.

20. Share a random piece of trivia about the creation of your oc (scrapped idea or changes you didnt expect to make)

This is her old design:

Initially, her vibes was a lot darker and edgier, but somehow she got softer and pinker the more I drew her.

Tbh Akari looks way cooler here, but her design feels a little messy. There were many cool ideas but nothing came out of it. In the end she's just kinda there. I originally wasn't gonna ship her with Giyuu bc I was a giyuu x shinobu shipper back then and thought they would be canon XD (I just prefer them as bros now) It doesnt help that I was so busy with school and its the pandemic, so my creative juices were little to none. But one idea that has always stayed is Akari having a good relationship with the girls, especially Mitsuri. After that I forgot about her...

Then I took a year off university, so more time to draw. I was on my way to moving on from kny, until I saw the swordsmith teaser and was like "Okay this show helped me get through pandemic, why not post some art to pay tribute at least." one art became more and suddenly I realized I wanna revisited Akari again bc omg this oc has so much wasted potential I need to fix this 😱 Guess I wont be moving on from kny soon 🤡

I thought about different breathing styles, illusion, star breathing etc. I decided that Akari is a battle seamstress character so I thought of silk breathing bc you know silk but I was like: "ok shes a seamstress who does seamstress powers?? thats it?? she needs something more specific" Eventually I settled for Camellia flowers bc I think its perfect for her in every way.

[kuruna]

💧🙉🌌🌈 for Xanthos! I have to say, I really love his complex character layers and dynamics with AZ. I find him to be pretty relatable especially his struggle with feeling needed and his fear of failures; I'm also the youngest out of my siblings so I feel that sense of wanting to be "useful" . I apologize if this comes off a bit too gushy, but seeing your works helped clarify my thoughts with the media itself and myself.

Aw don't worry about sounding too gushy, I love hearing people's thoughts and I'm glad he resonated with you in that way! I'm a middle child myself, so I do often think about my own sibling dynamics when writing for them 😭 🙉 HEAR-NO-EVIL - what is the worse thing your oc could hear from someone?

Xan is already his own worst critic, and has a bad habit of blaming himself for things that quite genuinely are not his fault (he also blames himself for things that ARE his fault, but that's more understandable 😭). However, it does hurt him a Lot when he's told something that confirms what he already thinks about himself. Being placed in a scenario where he feels helpless, or where he feels weak, are the worst things ever for him.

🌌 MILKY WAY - what was the inspiration behind your oc? what was the first thing you decided about them?

This is gonna be long because I love these types of questions... anyways! Whenever a media has "implied characters" (characters that are mentioned but not seen or named), I really enjoy taking them and giving them a design and voice ^.^ The first thing I decided about Xan was a design feature! I thought it would be fun if he essentially had an "upside-down" version of Lysandre's hair. The idea is still there but less obvious, because this proved to be way too hard to draw in a way I liked 😭 AZ was known as a great king who transformed Kalos into a land of prosperity, but it's also established that in the past, pkmn were seen as tools and not much more, and here was a king who treated a Floette like part of his family. Despite his greatness, he was surely seen as odd for it! The fact that his best friend is a sweet little Floette also tells me that he doesn't mesh well with other humans. What does that mean for his brother? I imagined someone who lacked AZ's skill for invention, but was charismatic and well-liked. And from there I imagined someone who (unfortunately!) would be the type to chastise AZ for not being a "proper" king, who maybe didn't make an effort to understand his brother as well as he should have. At the same I really dislike the idea of "everything bad can be blamed on this one guy," so I wanted to make a character that was complex from the get-go, rather than it being a situation where AZ's brother was just an evil jerk or something. If AZ is secure enough to not care what others think of him and to act as he wishes, his brother must be the opposite. This was my initial thesis for Xanthos, and still my go-to when I work on developing him! He is his brother's opposite. As for why I eventually decided Xan became immortal too... I forgot how the idea came about 💔 but I really like the inherently complicated dynamic he'd have with AZ in such a scenario, and the questions it creates. Is it possible for them to forgive one another after everything that's happened...? I would like to think they can... after all, they have all the time in the world to make amends.

🌈 RAINBOW - what advice would they give to their younger self?

Ohhhh he definitely has a whole laundry list of things he would want to say... other than the obvious ("can you pleaaaassee actually talk to your brother instead of attempting a coup in your desperation to be heard"). I think the #1 thing would be "stop acting so ashamed of the people you care for most! You cannot appease everyone, and this is fine!" The #2 thing would be "stop trying to do everything on your own! ask for help when you need it!!!" (funnily enough... I think a lot of the things he would say to his younger self are things he Does end up saying to Lysandre at some point 😭)

💧 DROPLET - random angst headcanon

Ended up doing this one last because I couldn't decide which little lore tidbit I wanted to use for it 😭 During the reconstruction of Kalos... while it took a bit to discover the Straight Up Immortality, people were quick to notice that Xan aged much slower than those around him. When his sons were both adults, for example, Xan only looked a few years older than them. Eventually this confusion grew into fear, and that fear led to Xan being rejected by his very homeland, despite all he'd done for it. (On this note 💔 Xan's sons were named Xerxes and Yeltaz. The name "Xerxes" is one of Xan's middle names, and the name "Yeltaz" is one of AZ's middle names. As you can imagine, AZ and Floette never got the chance to meet either of them 😔)

[jsuika]

JUST FOUND YOUR BLOG AND I LOVE YOUR ART!!!!

Your line art is so smooth and the colors too! How are u underrated

Thanks :]]

Actually I remember doing thick linearts before to make it look like y2k bubbly styled and I was thinking of going back again since I wanted to make logos or icons like this one:

These ig were just a lil practice if someday I'll be making one (or more of these). Also this is just an example btw, these are artist-made game icons. Imo, if it were me to be commissioned to design one or if I was assigned by a game dev, then most likely its gonna look like something that y'all won't know who did that thing lol.

Besides, I'm pretty sure a lot of people were inspired by my artstyle. 😭 Also in case you guys don't know what these are, I'll show you guys mine. (NOTE: You can still check on archive, I don't mind though-)

Examples of my artworks with thick lineart:

The first one was Hatsune Miku fanart

I kinda remember drawing this back in the day since 2023, the sketch version (on my other sketchpad) was discontinued. Supposed to finish it but, sadly I gave up because the hair was something that reminded me of an Inkling from Splatoon (rarely I noticed the first miku fanart also reminded me too lmao).

I wish I'd do this again hopefully if I could use my artstyle, then yeah. Watch here if you want to see the speedpaint :3 : https://youtu.be/sRE3-snDGkM?si=op3tISbGFTjLCcdB

Next one is Bomb Rush Cyberfunk fanart

Okay LISTEN, I may not be good at anatomy but might as well tried especially RED's head. For the BG, I only duplicated the character + added a screenshot/fakescreenshot/whatever, to make it look related to both y2k & frutiger aero (same applies to Hatsune Miku).

Nothing to say much but I've been thinking of making more character concept arts in the future & maybe work on shoes since they look a bit too complicated much.

Overall, I'd say it isn't bad. I'll just leave as it is for now (until some BRC fan shows up and sees this).

Last but not the least, my very first artist-made album cover

I remembered drawing this for future use if I ever find a music composer either if they can do DnB, game soundtrack or whatever but it slightly depends on them. Also shout out to Lxchee Music! They're the ones who compose music like these. They even commented on my speedpaint video!!! (after using their songs lol).

Such a shame that I am limited to drawing only however, I wish I also was a composer of this whooooooole album then everyone's gonna listen to my bangers. One time I used to make music in Beepbox.co (a website where you can compose there).

There are some music-composing softwares that most people use for their game making & also songs. I wish I'd even use FL studio or other music-composing. Reminds me, I also have one friend who makes music (unrelated to dnb or any genre) using accordian & any other instruments that he uses. I swear, he is so good in composing Nintendo Orchestra-music related I can tell.

Conclusion

No worries though, I didn't say I hate using thick lineart but its sometimes too much for the anatomy still and might not fit pretty well. I can still do another one hopefully just to focus on more y2k aesthetic. But if it were me to learn anatomy, might as well use thin lineart and just increase to make it look like there is perspective on it.

Anyways, ig this might be a long one but I do hope you understand what I mean-

[reinekes-fox]

Well, since you asked, I'll share my most worked on thylacine OC. I'm actually a tabletop RP player, and among the games we play is Changeling the Lost. My PC in that game is a thylacine beast changeling!

Now, this will be complicated if you don't know Changeling the Lost as a game, but basically, he's obsessed with his fetch and madly in love with him (this stems from a feeling that "no one but me can understand me" - and since a fetch is normally the "copy" a fae makes of the person they kidnap...). While now he doesn't feel like no one but him can understand him, that doesn't change the feelings for his fetch. (PS: don't worry, they are not "like brothers" and don't even look the same because of all the fae modifications).

Now, our campaign is a bit peculiar because our GM introduced a plot twist that's not in the canon of Changeling the Lost, which is that not all changelings are the "original" to a fetch. In some instances, a fae takes a human only for a minimal amount of time, not even taking them to Arcadia, and copies them as a base template in order to make "a better version of them" - in these cases, the "fetch" would be the actual person, still as they were before but without memories of the event (aside from some alien abduction theories some may have), while the changeling is a pure fae construct made from scratch and some raw materials. Some high ranking escaped changelings know about it but don't share the information to avoid emotional trauma in the changelings under their wing. Thing is, my character figured it out thanks to his obsession - basically, he sees his fetch with such rose tinted glasses that he always thought it's impossible for such perfection to be a mere copy, so he always told people he himself is the copy... and hey, it happens to be true! This is useful too, because that made it pretty easy to undo the normal fear of a fetch towards their changeling, as it was just a small spell and not ingrained in his whole being.

At his point, my dear thylacine managed to become very close friends with his original - though nothing more for now - and he's dead set on usurping his prior fae master and actually entering Arcadia and becoming a fae lord - which would also grant immortality to the fetch if he takes him along. He's pretty much a fae at heart to be fair (except he has actual empathy for the changelings and humans) - knowing he's a fae construct made him all the more certain that he doesn't have to try and be "human" to be himself.

Also fun fact, at some point when he was transformed into an actual thylacine thanks to one of his powers, he met an Australian vampire who was in his city for stuff, and the vampire went in overdrive heh (cause how the hell do you meet a supposedly extinct animal from your home country in PARIS of all stuff - which is where the story is set). They ended up becoming best friends thanks to the unlikely circumstancs that led and to it and followed their encounter. Currently the vampire still "lives" at his house (which is in the basement, so quite useful for the lack of sunlight).

Here, if you want to see him:

Old-ish art, but oh well. His name's Cumhea (celtic origins for the name cause that's what his creator is into)

Never ask me to share my OCs, because I WILL overshare. Feel free to just answer in private if you don't want to spam on your actual tumblr!

Hey fellow PnP player x3 God I wanted to play Changeling the Lost (and VtM) since years but just cant find a group 😭😭

I love this switch with the fetches ngl, but nothing compares to the sweet drama of coming back and see this thing that has taken your place. Everything could happen, I love it! (My character, that I never got to play, would so try and befriend his Fetch and since he has a twin they would be triplets lol)

Also I love your art??? Thats so cool, like hello?? The design! I wish I could draw like that!

And do not apologise for this! Because if you think about it, my IFs are also just me oversharing my OCs!

[mew-less]

HELLO HELLO GARDEN AU QUESTION!!!

im curious about the origin of the name since its definitely not literal (unless im being stupid and dont remember something about our convo JANDSKFN)

if i AM mistaken i have another question - whats a weirdly specific detail that you put effort in even if no one notices? im sure most writers have that one small detail that never gets attention but is super important to them (this question could be about foreshadowing, design details, headcanons... whatever!)

as always love your au stuff <3 i may forget to reply or dont know how to respond but thats just because im too busy gobbling up all the lore and art to say anything BAHAHAHA

ARE U SERIOUS. TUMBLR CRASHED AND DELETED MY WHOLE ANSWER SO WERE SPEEDRUNNING THIS NOW.

Name origin

The Garden AU was initially named that because of Moominmamma’s garden, but more specifically this remastered version of the 90s song. When first listening to it, that’s when I came up with (one of) the main idea(s) of the au (which has kinda gotten lost as time has gone on, but will hopefully still remain relevant to the lore lol): “What if Moominmamma’s garden and the Moominhouse were kind of like safe havens for magical creatures? What if they were naturally drawn to it?”. This lead to me making Moominmamma and Moomintroll witches, the Snorks fairies, Sniff half dragon, and Snufkin the mysterious jackalope that he is, all eventually drawn to Moominvalley in their own way! (small fun fact about very VERY early versions of the AU: Snufkin was initially meant to be a shapeshifter, but it was quickly scrapped. i don’t think it fit his character the way i wanted it to lol)

Specific detail no one notices

i do know some ppl have noticed this detail (shoutout to those who have lol) but still… Snufkin’s legs are REALLYYYY fucked up actually, like from a realism standpoint i think lol? I’m not sure actually… i’ve just never seen any animal that has deer legs with paws instead of hooves… he ended up that way because he’s only half jackalope and I wanted to show the mumrik side with more details than just the more “human” face, so… paws! I know there’s some rlly old art i’ve posted on here that clearly shows them lol. He also has boots made for his weird little legs that he wears during those cold, snowy winters, but I don’t blame anyone for not knowing that bc I barely draw him with them!! waah!!!

(I really wanted to go into foreshadowing here but… i cant.. i CANT 😭 ITS JUST TOO COMPLICATED AND NOT EVERYONE EVEN KNOWS ABOUT THE PILLARS YET … someday tho… someday…)

thank u for the ask waaah!!!

[lesbian-magicsings]

1. who are you sourced from? do you have any other sources? aus, other media, and the such?

C!magic, like 3 other au based magics, a!aimsey, Jane prentiss, Melanie king, Agnes Montague

2. do you go by different names and pronouns? feel free to list them!

I use ae/vi/they/he and I use magic, Agnes, moon or flower :3

3. how connected are you to your source? if you have multiple, go rank them!

Ooooh okay that’s hard

C!magic; 6.5/10

A!aimsey; 4.5/10

Jane prentiss; 3.5-7.5/10 depending on the day

Melanie king; 5/10

Agnes Montague; fucking 8/10 send help

4. what is your favorite memory from your source? can be mundane, funny, anything else. you can also list multiple!

Probably just picnics in the maze with ash!! I enjoyed those a lot!!!

5. sexuality or gender wise, what did the other outsiders identify as? anything that heavily deviates from canon?

Oh lord I’m pretty sure most of them were gay. If not all of them. Im pretty sure most of the clearing girls were lesbian minus Graecie who I believe was bisexual :3 Nothing major I don’t think other than like. The au’s I’m sourced from 😭😭

6. anything out of character that you remember? something that feels completely unlike you or that particular person, compared to their canon counterpart.

Loool Owen used to be terrible at navigating and completely get himself lost in the maze. Me also being a bekyakisser post rope incident also is probably out of character but yk what I’m built different

7. the most stupid memory you have? one that's silly or embarrassing.

Falling off of shit. I did that a lot tbh I am not the most physically stable I think I fell of the parkour course more times than you could count 😭😭

8. if you know, what disabilities did you or anyone have?

I know I had autism in that maze. I still do lol. Owen reoccuring had leg problems and used a cane about half of the time I also had a dissociative disorder in that maze istg

9. any small quirks you or the others had? something unimportant that stuck out in your head.

Ayngel tilts her head like a cat when you ask her questions, krow has sharp sharp canines, and it bites. Soup taps her fingers and shoes on any surface she can find, bek could doze off anywhere without any trouble so the others would draw stuff on her, Graecie had flowers braided into her very very messy hair and shed tons.

10. was anyone's design different from their canon counterpart? it can be small, or it can be big!

Ayngel had hugeeee wings and they were very fluffy!! Graecie had brown hair brown eyes and freckles too! Oh ash has freckles in like all my sources I keep forgetting that’s not canon? Her eyes are also a vibrant green z:3

11. was anyone in a romantic or queerplatonic relationship? were there complicated feelings and/or crushes? talk about them!

I fear in at least one of my sources Owen and apo were gay. Anyway i think Graecie and Ayngel dated in one source of mine, they had a whole lesbian pining thing. I also have multiple crushes/weird relationships of my own but we are not going into that for my sake actually!

12. who was your favorite in the clearing? why?

Graecie! Would ash count? She was always my favourite lmao.. I quite liked all the clearing 2 members too!

13. in contrast to the past question, who was your least favorite? why?

… reallly depends. It was bek at some point I think, and Owen and apo.. I think I mostly didn’t mind everyone though

14. if you're from c2, ramble about what you remember of your friends!

Iiii mostly remember Mae to be honest,,, she was very very blonde and had curls and light light freckles you could barely see, she also had a very soothing singing voice! She tended to garden and help me a lot of the time! Her hands always seemed to be dirty and she’d smear them on me so I’d have to change or shower.

15. what do you remember of the maze? were you good with navigation and survival? do you think you can survive in it now?

I could not survive it now (disabled core) but I do have a weird amount of knowledge of the clearing 2 maze in outsiders maps!

16. did you ever try red's alcohol? how was it? would you have it again?

No I did not unless you count the suspicious lemonade </3 being under 18 will do that to you lmao

17. is there something you vividly remember in the clearing or in the maze, that you keep forgetting wasn't actually canon?

More flowers actually, there’s a surprising lack of them on the actual outsiders map! Also I actually swear we had more picnic rugs around

18. how did you shower?

How do you think (Dunking myself fully in the piss pond)

19. if you died, do you regret dying? were there things you wanted to do before then? were you satisfied?

I did not die! I win!

20. lastly, any thoughts on your source? complicated feelings you want to get off your chest? do you appreciate it or not?

She’s such a bitch she’s so me I love her I hate her I want to smack the hell out of her I want to hug her.. I need to throttle her tbh! I have a love hate relationship w c!magic chat if you can’t tell! I appreciate her though thanks for uhm? Making me yearn for basements?

some questions for outsiders smp kins, introjects, and irls!

if you aren't one, you're still free to answer in the context of canon scenes! just skip ones that don't apply.

1. who are you sourced from? do you have any other sources? aus, other media, and the such?

2. do you go by different names and pronouns? feel free to list them!

3. how connected are you to your source? if you have multiple, go rank them!

4. what is your favorite memory from your source? can be mundane, funny, anything else. you can also list multiple!

5. sexuality or gender wise, what did the other outsiders identify as? anything that heavily deviates from canon?

6. anything out of character that you remember? something that feels completely unlike you or that particular person, compared to their canon counterpart.

7. the most stupid memory you have? one that's silly or embarrassing.

8. if you know, what disabilities did you or anyone have?

9. any small quirks you or the others had? something unimportant that stuck out in your head.

10. was anyone's design different from their canon counterpart? it can be small, or it can be big!

11. was anyone in a romantic or queerplatonic relationship? were there complicated feelings and/or crushes? talk about them!

12. who was your favorite in the clearing? why?

13. in contrast to the past question, who was your least favorite? why?

14. if you're from c2, ramble about what you remember of your friends!

15. what do you remember of the maze? were you good with navigation and survival? do you think you can survive in it now?

16. did you ever try red's alcohol? how was it? would you have it again?

17. is there something you vividly remember in the clearing or in the maze, that you keep forgetting wasn't actually canon?

18. how did you shower?

19. if you died, do you regret dying? were there things you wanted to do before then? were you satisfied?

20. lastly, any thoughts on your source? complicated feelings you want to get off your chest? do you appreciate it or not?

[nanowired-lover]

1. Are you named after anyone? Nah, except Pink, bc you can think of the character Pink from The Wall, but actually it's just the color. Tho my deadname is based on a girl my dad admired as a kid.

2. When was the last time you cried? Uuuuh last week too but I was on the verge of tears today

3. Do you have kids? No, and not planning to. But if we ever get the idea, it's gonna be adoption.

4. What sports do you play/have played? I think I did a bit of dance as a kid, and 2 years of Viet Vo Dao as a kid too. Then I did fencing ? But the classes were quickly shitty.

5. Do you use sarcasm? A bit ? But not much bc I can't set my tone right lmao

6. What is the first thing you notice about someone? Weirdly, their smile ! I have a bit of face blindness I think, so I have a hard time recognizing ppl until they smile somehow. Oh and social bias too now 😬

7. Eye color? Weezer Blue 🔵👄🔵 (kidding a bit darker tho)

8. Scary movies or happy endings? My chicken ass is easily scared lmfao. I love the horrific aesthetic tho but horror medias are complicated for me too handle im so saaaad 😭😭 So I'll say happy ending even tho I don't care, I just need it to be well-written

9. Any talents? Like prev, talent is a (very probably capitalist) social construct, it's practice and studying.

10. Where were you born? PARIS 75 QUARTIER DE BOURGEOIS !!! So yeah France moment

11. Hobbies? God. Huh. I draw ? I create shit, I DIY everything that I can. I play video games and I dance for myself. Oh and I'm gay for my gf and my friends. And I'm normal about things that I like.

12. Any pets? No, but I want a bird 😭 and I'm stealing my gf's cat mentally.

13. Height? 152 cm and i WILL convert it to feet bc it's so funny to me that i'm exactly 5ft. Also I'm 10cm taller on my ID bc when I was filling up the paper for it, my dad said jokingly "come on make urself taller" and I did and it W O R K E D

14. Favorite school subject? In high school, Spanish was the BEST for me. Then now Technology ! Mostly bc in graphic design, it's about color theory and how PCs work, and the teacher is the coolest

15. Dream job? Honestly idk, like my dad said, my dream job is no job. But if I gotta do something, it's graphic designer/communication manager in the alternative music industry. Bro I'd DIE of joy if I get to make weird shit

Sorry I talk way too much in those things lmfao

@glitterparpaing @owencharly and again anyone too, im just too tired to tag ppl

Tagged by my dearest @zapatism

1. Are you named after anyone? - Queen Guinevere from King Arthur, played by Lena Headey in Merlin (1998), my mom was a big fan.

2. When was the last time you cried? - Tuesday, had a panic attack

3. Do you have kids? - no, but if I survive till I'm 30 and I'm financially stable enough, I might adopt one

4. What sports do you play/have you played? - I was training karate until recently, never really got far in the belt colours, I played football, volley and basketball in school against other classes sometimes, never really been my thing to be athletic tho

5. Do you use sarcasm? - yes but I don't understand it.

6. What's the first thing you notice about someone? - their clothes.

7. Eye color? - brown

8. Scary movies or happy endings? - both

9. Any talents? - I don't believe in talent only hard work (read this with the voice of a old grumpy man)

10. Where were you born? - Brazil

11. Hobbies? - Idk anymore, I've lost all joy in life since I became an adult, reading perhaps?

12. Any pets? - so... so many cats...

13. Height? -5'7" / 1,69m

14. Favorite school subject? - History

15. Dream job? - I would say I don't dream of labour, but I do want to be a writer since I was a little kid so...

I tag @splinksplat @hholandies @braziliancryptid @gravedangerahead @do-not-answer @fangirlsovertoomanythings

[soobinfltrs]

Pile 4 and Pile 8

First off pile 4: everything is true, i am pretty shy and reserved irl and i get influenced by other people's emotions very easily and you talking about art just when I've taken out my supplies to make something after so long 😭😭 the get close to me to vent used to happen so much i had to start cutting people off because they would only talk to me when they had an issue or wanted to rant but would never listen when i had to or wanted to do the same thing, and yes my parents are very strict, but i do break rules even though they don't know about it laughs. I don't need a routine per say because i can't follow one although I've triedjdjd but there are specific things like taking a nap everyday and shit like that that i Cannot live without and also the part where my environment needs to be a certain way for me to be able to work is true, i can adapt easily to even messy environments but if it were up to me things would have a designated place, the part about not being able to let go and replaying how they made you feel HITS STRAIGHT HOME LIKE !!! HOW DID YOU K N O W 😩😩😩 god you're so talented, but continuing yeah it's so difficult and i . Replay things out so many times to feel those emotions and it's very difficult for me to let go of objects (people are easy to cut off) because i feel like there's an emotional connect there, like i still have all the gifts anyone's ever given me on my bdays in a small drawer even tho i never use them 😭😭

Now pile 8: I love love love the unknown, I'm always researching about it and am very curious about everything idk + i have extremely high standards for myself which lead me to want to do the most difficult tasks, i can be pretty self sacrificial even though ngl trying to change that because it gets exhausting and people end up taking you for granted, I do have a mentality where i want to do everything on my own and not ask for help because I'm either too prideful or because i just think that its somehow my job or responsibility to do things even when I'm not instructed to. ALSO i was . Drawing while watching a true crime documentary please oml how are you so good I'm crying 😭😭 but yeah wtf?? You're so right?_($(_ and yeah I'm . Big on sacrificing my sanity clearly with the amount of stress i take just to have a quiet and peaceful life in the future, so much for so little lmao. ME COMPLICATING THINGS IS SUCH A BIG PROBLEM I'm my own worst enemy actually djskdn, yeah the self-imposed responsible person role idk why i take it tbh, the second i go to college i will only be responsible for myself 😭😭 and i am pretty pessimistic so true, naur nawt the house full of roommates vibes it's ACCURATE 💀💀 it's hurtful too because they . They live like this BUT SO TRUE, they don't know much about anything when it comes to me and I'd like to keep it that way, I once tried to share smthng and it blew up in my face lmao, laughed at the child taking care of the parent comment I'm having Flashbacks 💀💀 BUT YEAH I am physically and mentally holding on by a STRAND laughing, and yeah i see them in a bad light because i realised that my parents were very dysfunctional laughs also have the placements mentioned so true ++ thinking about the time you looked at my chart and went "you have mommy and daddy issues" and it was TRUE i DO 😭‼️ living like this for what

ANYWAYS THIS IS SO BIG IM SO SORRY BUT I LOVEDLD THIS READING SAVING SCREENSHOTTING LOCKING IT IN MY TREASURE CHEST LOVED THIS LOVE YOU MUAH 😩💔

𝐶𝐻𝐼𝑅𝑂𝑁: 𝑊𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑠 𝑇𝑜 𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑙. (pac reading)

Hii! You have no idea how much it took to make this post lol, okay so this is Chiron: Wounds To Heal. It's partly intuitive and partly with the help of Tarot, so if it doesn't resonate with you that's okay! Since it's just for entertainment and it shouldn't be taken seriously.

Advice: Pick more than one pile since you'll find different aspects of your personality in more than one!

IMPORTANT: This contains serious topics related to family more than anything and if you are not comfortable with anything that you are reading I'll advice you to stop since it could be overwhelming or triggering!

LASTLY: Don't rush when picking a pile, since it might not resonate. Be sure to be relaxed and not distracted when choosing one. You can go for the picture you like the most or the number, or choose one intuitively.

Listen to this song while reading your pile 😊

𝑃𝐼𝐿𝐸 𝑂𝑁𝐸 𝑃𝐼𝐿𝐸 𝑇𝑊𝑂

𝑃𝐼𝐿𝐸 𝑇𝐻𝑅𝐸𝐸 𝑃𝐼𝐿𝐸 𝐹𝑂𝑈𝑅

𝑃𝐼𝐿𝐸 𝐹𝐼𝑉𝐸 𝑃𝐼𝐿𝐸 𝑆𝐼𝑋

𝑃𝐼𝐿𝐸 𝑆𝐸𝑉𝐸𝑁 𝑃𝐼𝐿𝐸 𝐸𝐼𝐺𝐻𝑇

𝒑𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒐𝒏𝒆

About you: the people who chose this pile have a tranquil and easygoing personality, that doesn't make them people pleaser but rather calm and collected, they have strong sense of morality, self-worth and resilience. You aren't a workaholic per say, you just like doing a lot of things and you are a perfectionist, even if it's hard to admit it. Yes, you are way mature for your age and this has shaped the person you are nowadays. You might've been told a lot that you are beyond your age and people think you are much older than you actually are, as that's just the energy you have, others feel safe around you or protected or they can let their guard down, that's something you have on people and it surprises you how strangers trust you their secrets. Most of your friends are actually the opposite of you, a little more crazy and immature, but it's okay for you since I see you actually like taking care of people, you find purpose on doing so, or were always taking care of someone somehow, since a very young age. You lare okay with an easy and quiet life, filled with little moments of chaos once in a while.

The life you have now could be in a period of stillness, noticing how everything changes so quickly you might be overwhelmed by sudden change, or in the contrary have learnt to except the unexpected and are prepared for things like that. That's because, maybe, in your early life there was never order and everything was always chaotic, unexpected and erratic. You might've been raised by impulsive parents that were too emotional or impatient and always expected you to be the adult, the grown one, to be the parent. Your childhood was maybe full of uncertainty and you never knew what was next, making careful steps to not disturb or make them angry, and it could've made you a people pleaser in your early years, but as time went on you came to realize there was no use in trying to do that, your personality formed by itself, everything you learned was by doing it alone or without any help from your parents. You were a very unprotected child and thus you developed extreme independency from this experience and always felt or told yourself you did not need anyone because you were neglected and thought that being all alone was normal. You could've face some sort of big betrayal from your parents or you always felt that way as they never properly took care of you and always saw you as a self-sufficient person, which you are, but they never showed their affection, your tutors were cold and detached, if you have any siblings they were like this with all of them, but specially with you; not seeing you as a kid but rather as a full adult. Going back to the topic, you could be very resentful towards the people who were supposed to be your big support system and turned out to be children themselves. You could've dedicated a lot of time trying to pull away from them either emotionally or physically, basing your life on being the opposite of what they are, that can be a reason as to why you like or are good at taking care of people and attending their needs.

Your strength is something big on your personality, you are resilient and very strong. But you've turned your good traits and your achievements into weapons against people who hurted or wronged you, nowadays nothing of what you do is for yourself but to prove yourself to others, even if you don't like what you're doing, it's important for you to be good at it, be the best at it, as if you could feel their eyes on your back, waiting for you to fail. Even if you have progressed a lot from what kind of hurt or resentment you had, there's a lot left and you are letting it control your work and everything you achieve. It's important for you not to fail, but you don't know why you do it sometimes. There's a lot of self-esteem issues, feeling you aren't enough in any aspect at all, prove to self-sabotaging and lack of real direction in life. You have made your life goal to live far away from what once called home or family, which isn't wrong, but by doing so you are focusing too much on what you don't want to be and neglecting what is it that you really want. Are you afraid you might like the same things as your parents? Have the same goals as your family? It could be possible that you are letting life changing opportunities go because of your fear of resembling even a little bit to those who you want to left behind. But you have the chance to use those traits given by them and make them your own, be the kind of person they could've been if they weren't who they are today. Your wounds are resembling the same they have but you can decide to heal them and not make them a part of your life.

ASTROLOGICAL ASPECTS THAT COULD BE IN YOUR CHART: Chiron in Virgo, Chiron in 10H, Chiron aspecting the 10th or 4th house, Chiron in Libra, Chiron in 4H, Chiron aspecting the Sun or Ascendant, Chiron in Capricorn.

𝒑𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒕𝒘𝒐

About you: the people who chose this pile are confident and charismatic, they might come off as intimidating to some people as they have a strong presence, they like their own physique or taking care of themselves physically, they have big personalities and attract others easily. You are a self-sufficient and dedicated person, super competent and also competitive, you like being in first place but unlike others that posses these traits, you don't define yourself and self-worth by how many achievements you have, but by a sense of renewal and mental/spiritual knowledge and learning. Learning and knowledge are super important for you, you are a very smart person and you've always know this, and probably were told that a lot too. You are a control freak on certain aspects of your life, one being how you present to others and how you are perceived, your goals might differ from what is expected for you to follow, but it isn't something that clouds your judgement, people might think you are vain and ruthless, it's true that you are upfront and can come off as rude or even antisocial.I personally don't think you have an issue being alone, but it's important for you to be in a community and connect with people that have your same ideals and enrich your life. Your life could be surrounded by people that depend or like being around you a lot, specially friends and coworkers, they look up to you and want to know what are you thinking. You're very influential in your circle of friends and it's not something you plan, it just happens.

On your life there's been more than one time where you felt like being made fun of or never taken seriously, your family never really listened to your opinions or cared to know what you thoughts, you probably had parents that were more worried about how you looked to other people than what you had to say, they dressed you in pretty clothes and taught you how to look good and how to take care of your appearance, but they might've failed to give life advices or be present in times of emotional crisis, these things made you feel neglected even when you had all the attention, as you could be only child too, they weren't paying attention to anything that wasn't superficial or easily fixed, and this doesn't make them bad parents but they always had their focus on that kind of stuff. You and your parents can share a lot of traits such as stubbornness, where they failed to recognize their mistakes or faults, is where you perceived to be more than what was expected of you. You could've been told to do one career or have a specific job your entire life but decide to do something you actually were passionate about. Your childhood was filled with these moments were they pretended to listen when they weren't, having planned your whole life according to them, they saw you as an extension of themselves and wanted you to achieve the same things as them or be what they never got to be. You could've felt like you had no other choice, you were taught to be confident since you were a kid, but when it came to your parents or family it was difficult to stand up to them, you felt unseen by them and this infuriated you as a child or a teenager. Until this day your parents could think nothing of what they did was wrong or not the best, they could not recognize their own faults and deny it if you try to tell them about your own experience, saying it wasn't like that at all.

The sun is a sign of confidence and a person who has a special light, this is you and this is your personality. You can achieve as much as you want and, much like pile one, you will try to prove yourself to your family and try to make them see how smart you actually are, trying to do everything they said you weren't capable of. It's almost like they look down on you when you aren't doing something they taught you to do, or they wanted you to do, it's very probable that you have parents that never let you explore anything beyond what they thought worth, and it was in rare occasion where they put your education or your decisions in first place. Although you are grateful for a lot of what they did for you, you lack the connection one has with their parents as they never apologize or care to recognize what they did wasn't the right way of doing it, the relationship can be shallow and this in terms has led you to try and find deeper connections outside the home, feeling lost a lot of the times and almost incapable of being vulnerable and sensitive without feeling embarrassment. It's important that you are in tune with all of your emotions, not only the positive one but also the bad ones and not let anger get the best of you as you can have bad temper sometimes, you could run off of situations you feel you're being controlled and leave when things get too personal, you feel detached from your peers and it's difficult for you to really connect with people, or, on the contrary you can get attached too soon one moment, the next you don't want anything to do with them. Working on being with people and having true and deep conversations with someone who wont downgrade you is important for your growth as a person. Accidentally you've attracted a lot superficial friendships or connections as that is all you know, it's important to recognize this and try to open up. Not to try to control every emotion you have and around who.

ASTROLOGICAL ASPECTS THAT COULD BE IN YOUR CHART: Chiron in Taurus, Chiron in Leo, Chiron aspecting Venus or aspecting Moon, Chiron in Aries, Chiron in 7H, Chiron in 5H.

𝒑𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒆

About you: the people who chose this pile are very unique and eccentric in their own way, they might've been told they are strange and people fail to understand them most of the time. The way you carry yourself is with self-confidence, you like to think of everything as made up or how nothing really makes sense, you laugh at the ridiculously of life itself, you might be into manifestation and manifest daily, you like conspiracy theories and believe in the multiverse and the ability to shift to another reality, yes, it's all that. You don't really take life that seriously, and believe it's all part of the process or everything happens for a reason, you are childlike in nature but also a logical person, analytical and likes tests of all kinds. You could be obsessed with the mind or the universe, your friends could say you are a strange person upon first meeting but as people get to know they realize how smart and mature you are, you just choose to be more relaxed. You could've grown up surrounded by people who took themselves very seriously or never let you play around, always had to be and act a certain way in their presence and it had made you feel bored of life for the most part, so you could be a person that likes entertainment or entertaining others, thus developing a love for art and creating. It's very possible that your family don't agree of what you decide to do but they won't say anything. . When it comes to friendships you could've experienced s lot of hardships since people take advantage of you or judge you a lot, so you go from group of friends to group of friends, your circle of friends varies a lot since it's difficult for you to keep friendships or be part of groups as you like to be alone and are very independent.

Contrary to the other piles, yours doesn't focus much on family, but on friendships, on connections and how you are seen by large groups of people. It could be that a few friends know the true you and are lasting relationship, but on a larger scale, in public and in society in general it's difficult for you to find a place of comfortability. Since childhood you could've been isolated from others either by your parents or other adults and it made people think it was hard to get to know, you are no stranger to loneliness and you could've been through periods in your life where you had no friends or no one who you could talk to really. And it's true, getting to you is difficult and it takes a lot for people to get a reaction from you or to impress you so they might think you are selective or a snob, when it's actually shyness or a fear of embarrassing yourself in front of others. Your life is full of these moments where you feel alienated from society and left alone as you could be too much to handle sometimes, or too eccentric, being made fun of your quirks and traits that made you you, this left you self-conscious about what kind of people you should let loose your personality and with whom to keep it hidden, you could've been bullied at one time when you were a kid, and this has shaped your personality deeply. It's difficult for you to be in public or present yourself to people as it's something very traumatic or you feel they will look at you weird. Maybe it is easy for you to make friend but it's hard to keep them, your need for belonging could've turned you into a person who's detached from all emotions as it's easier to deal with the constant sense of not belonging in a place everywhere you go.

The Hierophant in your spread is a sign of renewal, of letting lose of a mentality that holds you down and experiences that made you doubt yourself. Your relationship with people in general is very complicated and in turns, it's normal to feel resentful when you see how easy it is to other people to form meaningful connections and be able to present themselves in public without hiding the biggest parts of their personalities, there could've been instances where you were made fun of for the way you spoke or expressed yourself and your words, leaving you wondering if you bored people or said something wrong. You could be a little bit cynical and a know-it-all, maybe you said that it will get solved on its own or just pretended it never even bothered you but it did, and it still does. Tuning into more spiritual things and trying to find yourself in a way that's not usually normal for you it's going to help a lot, as you can have a really set up way of your belief systems and you dislike changing your mind, or don't want to indulge in more things that'll make you feel more weird. But this can seriously help in your growth and healing when it comes to rejection at a young age, following more spiritual practices, and, overall practicing on your own intuition can do a lot for you. I know you probably didn't had anybody telling you how to deal with loneliness or rejection at such s young age and you always had yourself for that, you are very special and unlike many other people, shouldn't tone down or hide your personality when you feel that you might get judged. Your own coping mechanism is hiding anything that resembles emotions and ignoring them when they aren't positive or playful as you could've dealt with sadness when you were younger, you try to keep your life positive, which is fine, but you can't ignore the negative parts too, you can get too clouded in negative thoughts that you don't see a way out and, for this to not happen you try to not pay attention to strong and intense emotions, but this won't do you any good. You could be exhausted as of right now, tired of always managing the same way and getting the same results, it's good for you to change the way you deal with feelings.

ASTROLOGICAL ASPECTS THAT COULD BE IN YOUR CHART: Chiron in 11H, Chiron in Gemini, Chiron aspecting Mercury or aspecting Sun, Chiron in Aquarius, Chiron in 9H, Chiron in Sagittarius, Chiron aspecting Uranus, Chiron in 3H.

𝒑𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒖𝒓

About you: the people who chose this pile are super shy and reserved, sensitive human beings that absorb everything like a sponge and guard themselves around people since they can become easily affected by other people's emotions. You are a very empathic and sensitive person, you are the sympathetic friend, the one people always go to for emotional advice and help them out. Your time alone, tough, it's also very important for you, since you get overwhelmed very easily and specially around a lot of people. Others might describe you as quiet and gentle person, someone who's on their own world a lot and nonconfrontational. You're probably interested in art or photography and enjoy being on nature a lot, it's not uncommon that you come across people that try to take advantage of you and your hospitality, although you aren't really interested in being the center of attention, it's easy for people to rotate around you and be intrigued by you since your reserved nature could be seen as mysterious and this attracts people a lot, this does attract a lot of people and you could be quite popular or necessary in your friend groups even if it's hard for you to believe so, you have a warming energy and people often get close to you to vent, which can make you feel like you're being used in some way. You could've been raised by strict parents or ones with a lot of rules where there was a way things should go at home and you decided to stay in the middle where you don't generate any troubles or disputes, you developed a way to be on your own world while the reality outside is chaotic and changeable.

How you like to be in is on calm and clean environment as your mind can be disorganized and it's not easy for you to focus when your place doesn't look a certain way, something you might've learnt from your family or parents is that you need your home environment to be a certain way and your mood can be severely ruined if you can't do the things you normally do. You're a person with a routine, and it could seem silly, but it's a way for you to feel in control of what affects you and how it affects you emotionally. As I said, your mood can change a lot because you need to follow certain routines in order to feel comfortable, and it's something that has progressed as you got older, something that isn't really shown to your friends since you don't like being an inconvenience but it's part of your personality, kind of like a way of predicting your unpredictable emotions, you can stress easily or get frustrated easily so everything must be exactly how you left it, at least in your home, where you feel most safe. You also have a really hard time when letting go of things and people that made you feel a certain way as you get attached and used to these things is difficult to let go of what they make you feel, clinging onto an emotion and replaying it in your mind.

The Tower talks about a false sense of control and security, believing in a structure that isn't actually there. You feel like your own emotions control you so much so that you externalize them and try to not activate any impulsive or negative feeling, you feel as though you're living in a bubble and can't never quite get out of there. Yes, you are a nonconfrontational person and you don't like pissing people off ever, but you are also very demanding on certain aspects of your life that, if not met, could make you uncomfortable and you'd want to leave. You are lead by your emotions and sometimes emotions aren't intuition and isn't something set in stone, you could fool yourself to stay in a bad situation or pretend there is nothing wrong or you don't need to get out of your comfort zone, a thing that's very important for you is feeling emotionally comfortable and you are lead by this a lot, letting a lot of things to pass you by just because you wouldn't give up routine for something new and that could change your life. Ultimately you are trapped in your own ways, your own experiences and how you perceive the world, aware that you purposely let opportunities go if you aren't 100% sure you will like it, but at the same time wondering why is your life stagnant, or why is it so hard for you to move on from past experiences. It's important that you don't close yourself up because what's being presented to you wouldn't be something you normally do, you might be so much inside of your own world to see what's beyond it.

ASTROLOGICAL ASPECTS THAT COULD BE IN YOUR CHART: Chiron in Cancer, Chiron in 4H, Chiron aspecting the 4H or 2H, Chiron in Pisces, Chiron aspecting the Ascendant or aspecting Neptune, Chiron in Taurus.

𝒑𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒇𝒊𝒗𝒆

About you: people who chose this pile are idealists and diplomatic, they are moralists and are lead by their ideals more than emotions. You are probably a spiritual or religious person, and these beliefs you hold them deep in your core, it's something you've been taught since you were very young by your family, or you learnt on your own and it has become a source of enlightenment in bad periods. You have a high sense of self and of what you believe in, and are a great inspiration for others around you, like friends and family. They think you are well educated, cultured and really good at teaching, they might see you as someone who's always immerse in their own world and learning something, they will probably always go to you for some sort of advice, but because of your distant personality it's hard for people to see you as someone who can give emotional advice instead of logical solutions. You could've develop a love for learning and teaching as well, helping people and enlightening them is something that brings you a lot of happiness and is your passion, growing up maybe you were seen as a nerdy person or someone who studied a lot, who took education very seriously and that can still be you in some part, but as years went by you've been feeling lost more and although you pretend to have everything in order or pretend to know what is that you're going to do at all times, you often feel lost and like nobody will land a hand to help guiding you so you have to do it yourself. You have a way of approaching people or relationships in general in a way that makes you look uninterested in forming meaningful connections, this leaves others wondering if you don't like their company but it's difficult for you to be demonstrative, physical affection is something that makes you uncomfortable as you could've grow up in an environment where that wasn't something common and your family could've been more cold and you always felt very misunderstood around them.

In your life, specially in your early life and with your parents or family there weren't moments where they showed their affection and it wasn't something common in your childhood, thus making it hard for you to form connections as an adult when you don't know how to show you like somebody without feeling uncomfortable or like you are being needy. Although your family is relatively normal, they could never quite understood you, your likes or your passions or anything that you talked about, you always felt left out in family reunions and like you were the black sheep of the family, you observed and pay attention to your relatives to try and mimic their personalities and act more like them, but no matter how you tried it was really difficult to feel welcomed. It's not strange that you fail to meet people as you don't think they'll like you or your personality. You don't quite feel like yourself, everything you are and everything you like was always put against you and this made you not know who you are, now as an adult you are having constant existencial crisis and/or crisis of faith and spirituality, you feel like your whole being is wrong and you should be different, behave differently, talk and communicate differently and dress and present yourself differently. You can't find something about yourself that you like, despise being composed by all the things that you like and everything you feel a love for, because it's you, it's impossible to see anything good in it, you can't be positive and can't stop being anxious at all times. You see yourself in the mirror and don't recognize the person on the other side.

The Star refers to someone who is enlighten by a higher forced, touched by the hand of a higher being and someone who has always been protected spiritually. That's you, you have always known what you wanted to do or what path in life you want, but reality has made your faith crumble and this makes you anxious, thinking of all the bad things that could happen and all the ways you could mess up when you are being divinely guided, and these issues are nothing but assumptions based on past negative experiences. You have a hard time letting go of things when they've hurt you and even a harder time not letting them define you, someone who's always had a very defined personality and ideals is going through a crisis thanks to your anxiety, you're thinking too much since you've been judged a lot all throughout your life and this has preventer you for experiencing new things. It's important that you go within and have a time of introspection, if you know what you stand for is worth defending, you should not feel embarrassment for what other people have to say. Is fundamental that you don't isolate yourself and try to expand your world outside of your family and you will find other people share the same beliefs that you do, people that understand you and care for what you feel passionate about. You need to find some sort of balance in your life as you tend to be too extremist and, when something doesn't go as planned you easily resort to negative thoughts and can't see beyond bad experiences, as someone smart and logical, you have to learn to separate what people think of you and what you actually are.

ASTROLOGICAL ASPECTS THAT COULD BE IN YOUR CHART: Chiron in Sagittarius, Chiron aspecting Saturn or aspecting Jupiter, Chiron in Virgo, Chiron in 12H, Chiron in Libra, Chiron in 9H, Chiron aspecting Sun or aspecting IC.

𝒑𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒔𝒊𝒙

About you: people who chose this pile are artistically inclined, emotionally intelligent too, they posses a lot of drive in everything they do but they can get obsessive pretty quickly. You are moved by the arts and you define yourself as a cultured person when it comes to music or art or reading, and we're always fascinated by these things. Dancing could've been one of your first passions too, something you did since a very young age or gymnastics, something to do with the body, and, as you got older you opted for exploring more options and it has always ended up in something artistic. You are self-taught and self-sufficient in almost every way, you could've learnt a lot of things for mere curiosity or because it's something you always wanted to do, one thing about you is that you don't like asking for help, not precisely because you don't like to bother others, but to prove yourself that you can do it alone, without anyone's help, to see how far can you go doing it alone and set it as a personal achievement. You are obviously a person who's constantly trying to achieve or win something in some way or another, most of the time is for personal gain as your ego feeds off of that and it makes you feel good about yourself. You could have little to no friends that are close since you are constantly looking inwards in how to better yourself and improve in your craft that you could often abandon relationships with other people, including family members as you never spend time with them and this makes them think you do not care about them enough, this is an ongoing situation in your life where your connections are never lasting since you never pay attention or dedicate time to them.

Recently, and, thanks events that have been occuring on your life; being as demanding as you are with yourself and your passion, it's possible that you'd left out some important things in your life in order to have more time for others, and this has not been rewarding you as you thought it would. But this isn't new to you, your entire life could've been like this, your parents or responsible adults never gave proper care to studying and making a name for oneself, or on the other hand they could've been highly strict and exigent but always towards you and never towards themselves. Showing little to no care for self-improvement you witnessed how your parents or family blamed everything bad that happened on circumstances and never on their own mistakes and wrong doings, being so stubborn to accept the fault than that same behavior could've damage seriously the stability and environment of the home, and you couldn't do anything else but watch. They would never accept what they've done wasn't correct or it wasn't the right way of doing it, you should also read pile two as it could have some messages for you as well. You could've, and maybe still are, dealing with irresponsible parents or family that worried more on how they were seen on the outside, while on the inside they lack self-awareness and emotional intelligence to deal with things that weren't rooted in material stuff. Thus making you terrified of becoming them when you are older, now you take every opportunity to enlighten yourself and take learning and studying very seriously, although none of this is bad, you almost never quite know how to balance things, and it reflects on everything you do.

It's important that you under that good Fortune is always on your side and you have all the tools necessary to achieve anything you want as long as the Wheel is turned in your favor, your problem resides on taking things for granted and thinking work or career or recognition comes first before all, failing at recognizing that without meaningful connections and experiences your art loses meaning, distancing from friends and family for the sake of art in turn made it difficult for you to work due to your lack of motivation and sadness, but you don't see this. You've been wounded by the lack of accountability of people who were supposed to guide you in life and in turn you ended up distancing from people in hopes you won't get disappointed or distracted, or thinking you will always have time to develop relationships once you succeed in life, but you might never stop wanting more, and that will make you even more lonely, and you only hurt yourself more. Don't isolate yourself because it's not doing you any favors and it will only keep you unhappy and will make you resent your work and everything you did to get where you are; is important that you take time to be with others, form new connections and new experiences, as that's the best way to develop as a person, to experience things and learn from those same experiences, you can't keep yourself in a mental bubble forever and you can't always do everything on your own. You need to accept that we, as human beings can't be alone and we need relationships to survive, hard work and respect are nothing when you have no one you can tell your achievements to.

ASTROLOGICAL ASPECTS THAT COULD BE IN YOUR CHART: Chiron in Aquarius, Chiron aspecting 11H or MC, Chiron in Capricorn, Chiron in 10H, Chiron in Scorpio, Chiron in 8H, Chiron aspecting Pluto or aspecting Mars, Chiron in Aries.

𝒑𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒔𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏

About you: people who chose this pile are notorious and ambitious, although they don't like usual or normal things they strive to be the best at whatever is it that they do, they are extremely charismatic and likeable, people are often intrigued by their upfront personality as they don't fear saying what's on their mind. You are a really good smooth talker and convince people to do things they wouldn't normally do, you are one of a kind and could've been told more than once that your ways or how you are brings a lot of controversy and potential enemies, your personality is not super loud per say you just call the attention easily and you have no issue making new friends and talking to people, this could make others think you are trying to call the attention, but that's just the way you are, a little bit erratic too, your personality could call the attention a little bit too much sometimes, and this could be sometimes good and other times bad as people think of you as too much or too explosive, or they like how true to yourself you are, there's a lot to say about you in social groups and people always have different opinions to the kind of person that you are, you should read pile 3 as well, there might be something there for you. You could have anger and trust issues and your childhood could've been ignored a lot or seen as less than by a male parental figure, so you learnt at a very young age to be self-sufficient and rely on your own judgement of things as adults proved to you to be distrustful or never lend a hand when you needed them as you could've been dealing with cold parents or a family that didn't know what to do with you when you were little, almost as they feared what you could become as an adult.

On more than one occasion you caught yourself manipulating people and things to your own advantage and were surprised of how well you did, or people often don't realize they're being played by you until they already did everything you want them to, and you don't even have to change anything about yourself to do so, this is why you kind of understand why people wouldn't trust you as you wouldn't trust a person like yourself either. Despite your self-reliance and tough personality, it's very easy for you to be dependent on people, especially when you have fewer friends or when you are in a relationship, it's difficult to not be overly possessive and emotional, you are very territorial as you don't have many special people in your life who you feel you can trust, so when this happens you resort to jealousy and possession and become dependant on them even without realizing. You hold very intense emotions at all times even if you try to pretend to be cold and detached, that's the opposite of what you actually are like emotionally, you need the constant comfort and reassurance from your friends to know if they still care about you or they still love you, and you don't even know this or ignore this aspect of your personality, your insecurity doesn't come from your personality but of the fear of being abandoned by your loved ones, and you can become really controlling to keep them with you, but this in turn makes them want to leave.

The Devil represents your shameless attitude towards the world and knowing your bad trials, making friends with them and showing them off, you have the believe that somebody should see the worst of you first and if they decide to stay still, they are worth your time. You clearly have a hard time trusting people in general and put up a hard exterior and never let your softer or more delicate side to get out, which has never worked for you in the long run, as you are constantly on a defensive mode and never let yourself make mistakes or act in a more emotional way, when you are in fact a very emotional person and repress it a lot. All of this has to do with the way you were raised and how you've experienced relationships at such a young age, that made you believe people are not to be trusted or that you will always be alone, when that's far from the truth, you need to let go of things that keep you in the past, that defensiveness that comes from your parents that never talked about their emotions and always ignored how you felt, it's a vicious and endless cycle that you keep on feeding because you can't let go of what they did to you. They weren't the best parents and a lot of what they did to you wasn't right, but you can't define your life based on the past, I see you did a lot of what you did growing up just to get a reaction from them and upset them but it's time to let it go. You have a lot of power and influence on people and you really shouldn't put tests and obstacles for people to pass them so they can be close to you, making meaningful connections is just as important as learning to let them go when they no longer serve you and do you no good holding onto the past.

ASTROLOGICAL ASPECTS THAT COULD BE IN YOUR CHART: Chiron in Scorpio, Chiron in 10H, Chiron aspecting Moon or aspecting Saturn, Chiron in 1H, Chiron in Leo, Chiron aspecting Mars.

𝒑𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕

About you: people who chose this pile are constantly looking for the meaning of life, they love numbers and the unknown, they have endless curiosity for the universe and for everything, they want to know about what holds beyond the explicable and thrive on the difficult tasks. You are a lovely and soft spoken person, you are important in your community and specially in your work or career, people might see you as someone who's very shy but very smart, you can't sit still a lot of the time and you always have questions about everything, you have curiosity in all your being and people might find it endearing while others find it annoying. You are a self-sacrificial human and always think that you must do the hard job alone, you over complicate things thinking that, in doing so it'll be better on the long run. You understand that there are some sacrifices that must be taken and there are some things we don't want to do, that we must do and it will be better as time passes, but this is your mentality for everything. Forever making everything difficult with yourself, you live stressed and have headaches all the time, you feel an urge to take care of everything and deal with everything alone, when it doesn't have to be like this at all, you shouldn't do all the hard work and definitely you shouldn't do it alone. Growing up it was probably normal for you to be given the more difficult tasks, maybe as the older sibling you always had to be responsible and you accepted that that's just the way life is, you should also read pile 1 as there might be something there for you. You like investigating and documentaries, real life stories and solving crimes, you plan on having a normal and quiet life that's not problematic and you are willing to sacrifice yourself and your sanity a little bit in order to live a better life sometime in the future.

Nevertheless, you often go to extremes unnecessary to get the job done, when it needn't be that complicated and you just.... Complicate it. You are often a very pessimistic person that expects things to go wrong or everything to explode in your face that's why you are so cautious and try to give your best at everything, feeling like if you didn't, things simply wouldn't work out. Now there are many people that depend on you and your criteria as you are responsible for a lot of things but that's also a self-imposed role you gave to yourself, steming from the responsibility you were given at a very young age, you feel like it's normal for you to carry so much weight on your shoulders, it's what's always felt normal to you and you don't know any other way, you could be in a work or career in medicine or science, something that demands a lot of your time as well. You might had been brought into a family that seem just like every other family as there was nothing unusual on the outside, but it was highly dysfunctional and it felt more like a house full of roommates and not a parent and their child, you never felt protected by your parents and you learned to never seek for their advice as it would be unhelpful and they would bring it back to them or generate more problems for you, so you learned to only say the necessary and to not share many details of your own personal life as they can be judgmental or project themselves onto you and your life.

You got the same as pile 4; the Tower, meaning an unavoidable problem that you are ignoring and it could very well be your health, both physical and mental health have not been prioritized by you, and it's important that you know that if you don't take care of yourself it'll only worsen. You grew up thinking your home was normal until you got out into the real world and found that the child taking care of the parent wasn't something common at all, and wince you wondered why couldn't your family be more normal or you feel betrayed by your own tutors, the same people that should've take care of you put all their problems and responsibilities on you and never wondered what could it do to someone so young. And it's likely that you never saw your family in a bad light, that you never resented or hated them until you realized what was actually going in your home environment, even now you probably don't even think bad of them, as you are a very forgiving person by nature, you don't have anything hateful towards them, and you are in a process of trying to let go of the troublesome childhood they made you go through, even if it's rough, you understand that your family and your parents are only human and holding grudges against them would be pointless. Still, there's always a part of you that hates to have to grow up so fast and never enjoyed their childhood, but one thing you can do now is enjoy your adulthood, the rest of your life shouldn't be filled with responsibilities just because your childhood was like so, now you have the choice and you don't owe anything to anyone.

ASTROLOGICAL ASPECTS THAT COULD BE IN YOUR CHART: Chiron in Cancer, Chiron aspecting Jupiter or Mercury, Chiron in 10H, Chiron in Libra, Chiron in 6H, Chiron in Pisces.

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Happy Lunar eclipse 😌🕺