#the Liberty Media one is shockingly accurate tho lmao

[wisteriagoesvroom]

manifesting chaos in the 2024 f1 season (wiz edition)

kudos to @keepthedelta for starting this idea way back when, theirs were hilarious

- jos verstappen and carlos sainz snr have an actual fistfight, but agree to do it on pay per view TV for maximal profit and impact. carlos snr wins only because he still has good core strength from driving endurance races and also he definitely does yogilates

- forced to get more sponsorship money, kick stake sauber drivers have to do an embarrassingly slutty ad for vitamin water. turns out valtteri and guan yu is very game for it and it actually goes super viral, but only in china

- FIA announces seoul gp 2026 and do an embarrassing eGames tie up as well as get nct's most junior division (most of them are 10 years old) to promote it for some reason. 2025 Charles leclerc finally makes his debut on MDC singing an slow-fi hip hop song with lots of air horns. it’s the one he co-wrote with lewis hamilton as an anthem for the ferrari team

- no more grill the grid. liberty media takes things to the next level and makes all the drivers do elimination games from squid game. drivers may be injured or perish. however as per FIA regs they are still expected to recover well enough to drive by the following sunday

- seb vettel returns but only for one race to drive a literal tractor across a field in austria to promote saving the bees

- alex albon is told he gets to move to red bull again except alex albon was busy taking some proper off time with his girlfriend during the summer so he misses the email and the tweets. by the time he catches up with the rumours, red bull have already musical chaired first liam lawson and then daniel ricciardo in the seat only to immediately take it back and give it to a fifteen year old who’s currently taking a nap in the rb junior academy room somewhere

- zak brown starts a new tie up with an aerospace company and andrea accidentally builds a rocket ship that blasts the papaya boys into space. lando and oscar do a livestream in the MCL38 parked on the side of an asteroid

- nico rosberg appears on a sky broadcast in a t-shirt that people swear lewis hamilton once wore, and it in fact may be the exact same one. neither of them comments on it at all

- otmar somehow returns and spends half his time instructing his drivers to try and chase / destroy that orange twink… i mean, car. somehow he will manage to run a team more embarrassingly than haas.