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merryfortune · 2 years ago

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Bubble Burst

Written for the Polyamory Day Ficlet Fest 2022 (and my friend Jason)

Fandom: Tropical Rouge Pretty Cure

Ship: Laura/Manatsu/Sango

Rating: T

Word Count: 1,778

Warnings: None

Tags: Post-Canon, Communication, Jealousy/Possessiveness, Amnesia, Happy Ending, Kissing

And in that moment, everything clicked together. For better… and for worse.

Sango was just one step too late and she felt her heart pound. Two timelines collided in her heart and in her mind but the one that she was living at present, in her physical body, it made her soul scream psychically.

She had memories of a life with Laura. She had memories of a life without Laura. They way they curled and intertwined was contradictory, a rush of exhilaration and adrenaline all the same as horror and terror. The flood of emotions were electric inside of Sango’s veins as she tried to create some semblance of sense.

The only way line going through them both like Cupid’s arrow through the heart, scathing and soaring, was Manatsu. Left or right, up or down, inside out, it didn’t matter: it all came back to Manatsu. She was the only constant, strong as a riptide and bright as sunshine, but some of those memories were artificial, replacing them for Laura where applicable yet others were genuine. Precious, irreplaceable memories of her and Manatsu bonding with or without Laura regardless of timeline.

Even so, Manatsu was Sango’s crutch and crush as she tried to make sense of what was going on inside of her body and soul.

She was dating Manatsu. She had never dated Manatsu. She had a crush on Laura. She never had a crush on Laura. Mermaids exist, mermaids had never existed for real outside of fairy tales until this very moment.

How on Earth was Sango meant to reckon with any of that in few, precious seconds as she watched Manatsu and Laura kiss.

Sango softly stepped closer, she was careful lest her footing crumble underneath her - to say nothing of the storm that raged inside of her. It was difficult to concentrate on stealth and what the appropriate thing to say was as she scaled down to the rocky inlet that Laura and Manatsu were sitting at. Like lovebirds, at the base of that love heart-shaped rock.

“U-Um, excuse me.” Sango piped up once she felt close enough, her hands in front of her breast, trying to still her pounding heart.

Both Laura and Manatsu looked at her. Manatsu’s joyful, silly expression became aghast. She realised: she remembered. Laura was merely happy to see them both. Happy enough… to… kiss… Manatsu, even.

“It's good to see you again,” Sango replied, slowly, bitterly without meaning to, “Laura.”

“It is fantastic to see you, too, Sango.” Laura replied and she lunged at Manatsu.

With a flick of her tail and a swish of her fins, Laura elegantly soared through the air to hug Sango and as droplets of water were discarded off the raiment-like fins of hers, and her glittering scales, her tail became legs. She tackled Sango and Sango was forced back as she was hugged. Bear-hugged, really. Squeezed tight in Laura’s now finless arms as she cuddled into Sango’s side but Sango was awkward to her.

Cold.

Laura looked up at Sango confused, “I thought you were happy to see me?” she asked, batting her eyelashes.

“It's complicated…” Sango replied, averting her gaze and yet daring to replace it unto Manatsu.

Manatsu squirmed where she stood. Hands behind her back, guilty, she knew what she had done but she didn’t know how to explain it. Understanding, caught in the surging, raging course of her own emotions and memories and even hormones, Sango could empathise.

Laura stepped back, her hands trailed down the skin of Sango’s arms. They were covered in goosebumps. There was a chill in the salty seabreeze, after all. Laura gave Sango’s hands a squeeze in an effort to warm them up.

“Are you okay?” Laura asked.

“N-No, I’m not.” Sango managed to sputter out.

She had to suppress some nasally laughter in her nose because it was thanks to meeting Laura and Manatsu, in that other life as a Pretty Cure, that she was even able to reply. As sputtering as a reply as it was. She felt as though she were biting the hand that had fed her as it was through becoming Cure Coral that Sango had experienced courage for the first time. Courage she had even now, in this other life as being just an ordinary girl.

“Y-You kissed Manatsu.” Sango said, getting louder. Accusatory. “Why would you do that?” There were now tears in her eyes. Hot and glistening, feeling guilty in her tear ducts. She didn’t want to be mad at her friend, at her former crush, but she had to be.

Things were different now. Things are different now.

She was Suzumura Sango, she had never been and she always had been Cure Sango. She was dating Natsuumi Manatsu who had never been and always had been Cure Summer. There was no such thing as mermaids and mermaids were the most real thing that there was, as real as you or I.

She, Sango, had experienced a year without being a Pretty Cure. Memories which ebbed and flowed in her mind. Sango kept getting flashes of what had been and what could have been and what was in both ways. Memories so rich of Laura had become stained with non-magical, non-mermaid excuses and now they were being recovered. It was getting confusing every which way in the heat of the moment.

Heat that Sango was trying very hard to keep tempered so she wouldn’t say things that she would regret. She didn’t want to hurt either Laura nor Manatsu’s feelings but she couldn’t deny that her feelings had been severely hurt. That actions could not be taken back, even if they had been performed on the fly, as something not intended to hurt even if they had.

When she closed her eyes, Sango could see Manatsu and Laura kiss and oh how sweetly they kissed in their reunion. Impulsive and impetuous, cute and chaste. It made her irate with jealousy - and not solely because Manatsu was her girlfriend now.

“Y-Yeah, you shouldn’t have done that.” Manatsu piped up next, breaching Sango’s tormented reveries. “I-I’m not innocent either, I shouldn’t have gotten caught up in the moment but bam! When that bubble burst…”

“Manatsu and I… We’re going steady. We’re an exclusive couple.” Sango explained as she wringed out her hands, fidgeting.

Laura gasped and the gravity of the situation seemed to crash down onto her like a tidal wave. The shock had her expression turn blank but only briefly. Once she blinked, once it seemed that wave had washed over her, her expression was far more dire. Guilty.

“I’m sorry, I had no idea.” Laura stammered out, truly and genuinely apologetic facing Sango and when she turned her head to Manatsu, she added, “I shouldn’t have been so rash, that was rude of me.”

“I shouldn’t have been so impulsive either.” Manatsu replied and she sandwiched her head between her hands. Her eyes were practically spinning as she warbled, “My head is so busy! A whole year’s worth of you being here and you not being here, it's bonkers.”

“It is a little.” Laura quietly laughed in agreement.

“That’s why I’m not as mad as I could be - or maybe should be.” Sango added, sympathetic.

“I’ve really missed you, Laura, but I really like you, too, Sango, argh! This is so confusing!” Manatsu protested, more against herself than either of them.

“Mm.” Sango nodded. “Because… because I’ve got a crush on you, Laura. Or I had one. And anyone with eyes could tell that Manatsu also had a big crush on you, too.”

Her confession was like a declaration of victory. Her voice was firm and strong, surprising Laura and Manatsu. Sango squeaked as she felt both their wide, surprised eyes on her but she kept going. She kept riding out all these feelings and memories until they found their conclusion and it was beginning to feel like the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, at the end of a terrifying storm for Sango.

“In your absence, some of those feelings may have been transferred to Manatsu to explain certain things without you or mermaids, some of it was entirely on her own charm…” Sango said. “But I really like both of you, Manatsu, Laura! In the brainwash of our memories because of Mermaid Law…”

“I’m still working very hard to have that reversed, you know. I’m even more determined now that I remember why.” Laura said and it amused both Sango and Manatsu at how brave she was about the opportunity for her ego boost, ignoring it in favour of validating that what had been their wish all year as Pretty Cures: to keep and save those precious as jewels memories of Laura and their adventures together.

“Everything’s gotten all muddled but I know it! I can feel and think crystal clear now: I like you both.” Sango said.

“And I like you both.” Manatsu helpfully added, chirping.

The speech appeared to have stopped but Sango’s heart hadn’t. It still pounded like a drum inside of her chest, tight and loud and she panted. She felt as though she had run a marathon but all she had done was confess her feelings.

The ensuing silence finally gave space to Laura, allowing her expression to become very, very self-important. Her lips were all pouty and perky. Her eyelids became heavy. All to create a refined aura of radiance and smugness, perfectly fitting her as a young, self-absorbed Queen.

“Two humans… in love with little old me.” she gloated. “Well then, Sango, I apologise for not doing this sooner then.”

Laura lunged at Sango again, one hand she held and the other placed on Sango’s shoulder, and then a pretty little kiss planted on Sango’s lips. Exactly like the one that she had seen Laura give to Manatsu as the inciting incident of all their drama.

Sango sighed into the kiss. Laura tasted like sea salt and seashell cookies. A delicious, buttery taste and she wanted more of it - and she wanted Manatsu as well.

“So, what was that about exclusivity between you and Manatsu, hm?” Laura whispered just loud enough for Manatsu to hear. “I’m invited right.”

“Right.” Sango replied, blushing.

“And right, Manatsu?” Laura asked, turning her head to properly prompt Manatsu.

“Right!” Manatsu replied, giving a salute with her hand as she straightened up her back, her head spinning for entirely new reasons as she watched Laura mack on her - now their - girlfriend.

“Good.” Laura smugly hummed as she laced her other arm over Sango’s shoulder so she could embrace Sango, nuzzling into her side and it felt right and warm.

#femslash #polyamory day ficlet fest 2022 #tropical rouge #tropical rouge pretty cure #precure #natsumi manatsu #cure summer #suzumura sango #cure coral #laura (precure)#manatsu x sango x laura #laura x sango x manatsu #manatsu x laura x sango #laura x manatsu x sango #writing tag

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oscar-lettjohanssonloveme · 4 years ago

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Mr. Sandman pt. 2 (Miss Venable x reader)

After one month I finally finished the second pt, whooho :) Well i guess its a bit different, than the first chapter, but i hope yall like it- I can imagine making a third pt of this, but it would be much more fucked up and weird, than this chapter..lol I wanted to say thank you for your nice comments under the first chapter, they made me really happy :3

summary: three weeks have passed and you are trying to understand everything

warnings: depression (idk if a robot can have depression-), uhm bruises,..

And if ur name is Laura, don't hate me! yikes hahah

here is the first pt. :

https://littlejeaniehugsbumblebees.tumblr.com/post/639876084639334400/mr-sandman-ms-venable-x-reader

hello google translate:3

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream Make her the cutest that I've ever seen Give her two lips like roses and clover And tell her that her lonely nights are over

It had been 3 weeks since the thing with the letter. 3 fucking weeks since you found out you were nothing more than a programmed machine.

And everything had gotten weird.

Ordinarily, you might call your behavior depression, but you were a goddamn robot and couldn't actually feel anything.

Sometimes you would spend hours in front of the mirror looking at your strange body. No.. to look at her body. You were just an image of her and your body was just a thing made of metal, tied through with cables and covered with a skin-colored rubber.

It all made no sense, all your memories of your family, your friends and your meeting with Mina (your first meeting in your bookstore, your first date, the first kiss, ..) all of this had to be real. But as Mutt had explained to you, your brain was just a hard drive with a stored script in which Mina had invested a lot of time to make your "memories" as detailed as possible. After all, she wanted you to be perfect.

To be honest, you had no idea how to act towards Mina. She was right somewhere, without her, you wouldn't exist. Maybe you should be grateful or happy that she created you. And on top of that, you really thought you loved her, needed her, or wanted her. But inside you knew that you only did all of these things because she programmed you to do so. Nothing you ever did was really your own excuse. You were just what she wanted you to be and in addition to that, you weren't even unique anymore. Mina had just copied you and used you for her own purposes.

Inwardly, you tried to fight the urge to kiss her, sit on her lap, or even smile at her, simply because you knew it wasn't what you wanted, but what she wanted. She wanted you to kiss her, wanted you to sit on her lap and wanted you to smile at her.

And all these feelings that cooked in you at the same time, the forced love for Mina and at the same time the hate because she was so selfish, let you get tired and pulled you down into a deep hole.

But you were a robot, you couldn't feel anything.

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"You should fucking stop coking while you're working on her", hissed Mina, staring into the stupid faces of Jeff and Mutt.

"She should be perfect, do you understand that?"

"Calm down", Mutt mutturd, raising both hands as Jeff swept the rest of the cocaine off the table. The fine powder fell like snow on the floor and the fact that these drugs were now on the white floor made Mina even more angry.

"We're the best at this and we know that if she doesn't turn out perfect, you'll probably kill us," Jeff explained with a smug grin on his ugly face.

"It's better for you if you know," Mina growled, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"How far are you?"

"So," Jeff got up bored to go to his project.

"All we have to do is insert her face and load your script from her hard drive and then we're done."

Mina's gaze wandered to the 3D printer Jeff was pointing to. Inside was the mask of a face ... your face. It was her eyes staring at some point, the same blush of her cheeks on yours, as was the gentle curve of your lips as hers.

"May I ..?" Mina asked and held out her hand for the mask. Jeff shrugged.

"Do what you want, but then bring the mask with you to her body, then we can finish it off."

The man turned to go to the computer next to the body on the table.

"Meanwhile I'll be loading your script on her hard drive", he called afterwards, but Miss Venable no longer listened to him. Her attention was fully focused on the mask, which she had carefully removed from the printer.

The face looked almost dead in her hands as not a single facial muscle was tense and yet Miss Venable could already tell that you were exactly as she had imagined. Just like she remembered Y / N.

Miss Venable stepped away from the 3D printer to walk past Jeff to your body.

She took off her leather gloves before running her fingers over the exposed skin of your arm. It was fascinating how much the rubber felt like real skin. It wasn't the first time, that she saw the result of your body, but it always fascinated her.

Her gaze wandered to your head and she was startled, when she saw directly in your head on the hard drive, that was connected to Jeff's computer by a black cable.

"And she won't ask any questions?" She asked, turning to Jeff.

"Nope," said Mutt, who stood with his arms folded next to his colleague to stare at the computer.

"I took the liberty of reading your script and apart from all the crazy sex you wrote down there, it seems to be very verbose."

Mina's eyes narrowed at Mutt's words and she bit the inside of her cheek to swallow all the insults that came into her mind. This script had been private.

On the other hand, she was tired of waiting for you and just wanted it to be over as soon as possible and that she could finally have you after waiting so many years.

"Okay, this is what we got," Jeff began as he got up from the computer and walked over to your body to pull the cable out of your head.

"Y / N will think, she was here to pick you up from work and then she would have passed out for whatever reason. So she won't wonder why she is here. Well, you know, she thinks that you've been together for a few years, so you have to play along right away. "

"I've spent so many years preparing for this moment," Mina hissed as she watched Jeff insert the face into your body.

And she was right, for years she had lived in her house like a second person was living with her. She had bought Y / N's size clothes, her make-up, her perfume, the books she liked ... Someone would have called it madness, but to her it was confidence. Just because she knew she'd have you one day. And today she could finally take you home with her.

"We're ready," Jeff said, turning to Mutt.

"You can power her up."

"Wait," Mina interrupted while she stared down into your blank face. Your eyes were closed and now it almost looked like you were sleeping.

"I want to be alone with her, when she wakes up."

"B-but what if something doesn't work?"

"It will work."

"Your decision", Jeff mumbled and went to Mutt to leave the room with him.

"Oh and Miss Venable, you know, that telling her about your her identity wouldn't be the best idea."

"She will never know, I'll make sure", Mina replied and went to the computer to switch you on. As quickly as she could, she came back to the table you were lying on, staring expectantly into your face.

And then you came to life.

First your eyes opened and Mina saw you blink a few times confused at the bright ceiling lamp.

"What's up, honey?" You asked her with a frown, but Mina couldn't answer. You looked so damn real, just like her.

"Are you okay?", You grinned crookedly while you sat up.

Your smile, the slightly curved eyebrows and your lively eyes, it was perfect.

"I- I am just happy that you're awake again," Mina finally managed to stutter.

"Naww you were worried about me? You're cute," you muttered, reaching for her hands.

"Can we go home now?"

Mina nodded slowly while she stared into the loving glitter eyes.

You were perfect

Wilhemina opened her eyes. The image of your sparkling eyes was still buzzing around in her head while she stared at the ceiling of your bedroom. Damn it, how many weeks had you not looked at her like that?

Miss Venable was usually not one to wake up at night, but since you knew what you really were, she slept badly and at night dreamed of the time when you didn't know and you were both happy. In addition, the weight of your head was missing on her chest..Your arm wrapped around her waist and the locks of hair that usually tickled her face.

It was almost impossible to sleep like this. She just needed to feel like you belonged to her. How many times had Miss Venable dreamed of Y/N in Jonathan's arms one night and then woke up only to see, that you were as close to her as you could possibly be?

And since you knew it, you just lay next to her in bed, curled up in yourself and felt worlds away from Mina. She was sure you were toying with the idea of sleeping in the guest room. But you could never do that, because that's how she programmed you. You wanted to be with her.

Mina turned her head to the side to see you. You lay on your back next to her and stared out the window with glassy eyes. Lost, thought Miss Venable.

"Why are you awake?" She asked softly and grabbed your hand, which was on your chest.

"I can't sleep"you replied dryly without looking at her.

I don't need to sleep, I'm a fucking robot Wilhemina.

"Do you want to read? Uhm- We haven't read together in ages," she asked and began to run her thumb over the back of your hand.

You just shook your head before turning to her and looking at her with such a pain in your eyes, that she wanted to cry.

"I'm not real, Mina," you said in a thick voice as tears came out of your eyes. You reached your other hand to your face to wipe away the tears.

"These tears are not real."

"That is not true." Mina whispered and took your other hand as well.

"You are here and you are real."

"I'm not even alive. I'm just a dead thing made of cables, I live as much as your computer does."

"Don't say something like that.", Mina mumbled reaching behind her to turn on the bedside lamp. She actually wanted to say something, but when she turned back to you, her eyes fell on the small bruises on your arm.

"What the hell, Y / N", she scolded in horror and ran her fingers over the dark spots.

"Oh, it's not that bad," you said quickly as you pulled your arm away.

"It's actually quite interesting, you know, when we were in the office to fix my hand, Mutt explained to me that I have certain sensors under this rubber layer, that make me think I'm feeling pain. And how my skin changes color when I injure myself..you know, its really cool"

Mina looked at you disturbed, while you explained to her factually how interesting you found that.

"Mutt sent me the plans for my body too," you continued, staring thoughtfully at your forearm.

"It's so fascinating to see how my body digests food or how my emotions work."

"Why are you in contact with this idiot?", Mina frowned.

"Because I wanted to know how I work..I also noticed that I can't get any older and it's kind of funny."

"Funny", Mina repeated, planning a thousand ways in her head, how she would kill Mutt.

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"You fucking idiot," she hissed the next day as she hobbled into Jeff and Mutt's office.

"How dare you even think you have the right to clear Y / N?"

"I thought, it would be good, after she found out everything," Mutt muttered without looking up from his computer.

"Oh yeah?", Mina's eyes sparkled with anger.

"And I thought, we said, it would be best if she didn't know."

"I understand why he gave her the plans," Jeff interjected.

"Who the hell asked you ??", Mina spat and Jeff shrugged.

"I'm just saying, that I think it's better for her. You want her to be happy and I think that's only possible, if she knows who she is."

"Oh no," Mina shook her head. "I want her to be like Y / N again and unfortunately that won't work if you explain how her robot body works. You could have sent her the script right away."

"Who knows, maybe I'll do that too," Mutt mumbled and looked enviously at Jeff, who was already coking again. "She deserves to know everything."

"You won't do anything like that," Mina growled dangerously.

"You both still work for me and what I do with my girlfriend is my decision".

With that she turned to walk out of the office and eventually out of the building. She just wanted to go home, but at the same time she knew that you and not Y / N would be waiting for her there.

"I'm home princess", she called out loud as she always did when she came home and like the weeks before she got no answer from you. Mina sighed as she hung her jacket on the stand. She hobbled into the bedroom and saw you the night before, just lying there and staring out the window. You hadn't gone to work in the past few weeks, it felt kind of pointless.

"How was your day, princess?" Asked your girlfriend, who was lost in the doorway and tried to get you to talk somehow.

"Good," you said curtly. "You didn't want to tell me how long I've been around, but I think I figured it out today."

Mina's breath caught.

"Did Mutt tell you that too?"

"Nope," you mumbled. "It was me alone. Well, I noticed that based on what I thought I knew, we've been living together for 4 years, but there are only pictures of the last two years, so I think, I'm 2 years old. Somehow that sounds funny, doesn't it? You're dating a two year old. "

For a few seconds, Mina just stared at you. You were right, you were two years old.

"When will you finally get back to normal," she finally mumbled and stepped outthe door frame to sit on the bed. You snorted in annoyance and shook your head as you sat up.

"Define normal, Mina."

"When will you talk to me again? When will you kiss me again? Will you sit on my lap or at least smile at me?" She screamed, making you wince at her volume.

"You treat me like I did something wrong."

"Sorry, but do you find it normal to live with someone, who is actually dead and looks like your 'big love'?" You yelled back.

"It was normal until you knew it and now you pretend there was something wrong with it," Mina stared at you in disbelief, as if she didn't understand how fucked up these facts actually were.

"You could at least have made me unique with a will of my own .. I could have loved you anyway and if I had decided it myself, that's actually how it works," you spat as you leaned against the headboard.

"Then you wouldn't have been like her," Mina replied dryly and you just rolled your eyes.

"So what?".

"So what ?!", Mina repeated angrily.

"Maybe because the only person I love is her and not you?"

Your eyes widened at her words.

"You- you are insane, Mina," you stuttered and got up to walk out of the room. And you would have loved to leave, but you were a human boomerang, no matter how far away you went, you would keep coming back to her. Because that's how she programmed you.

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A few days went by and you thought a lot about the fact, that she had told you in the face, that she didn't love you but this woman. And you started to hate it all. You hated Mina for her incredible selfishness. You hated yourself for being completely at the mercy of her because she programmed you that way and you hated Y / N (although you were actually Y / N, only in lesbian and metal) because Mina loved her and not you.

You knew, that Mina regretted telling you that, at least she tried to apologize to you later, but you ignored her.

In your eyes, what Mina felt was no longer love, but madness. And if you hadn't hated Y / N, you would probably have prayed for her, that Mina wouldn't have the idea of kidnapping her. Probably the next step on the insane scale. First Y / N had decided on Jonathan and then the stupid robot broke, so Mina was only left with kidnapping as a way out.

You really did your best to understand her behavior, but you just couldn't. Okay, well ... you were just a stupid robot and you only knew empathy from Mina's script.

"Well," you began when you came into her working space on Wednesday afternoon and sat across from her at the desk.

"I've thought of something."

That was the first time in days that you spoke to her without being asked.

You had actually decided to ignore her, until it was enough for her and she decided to leave you. However, the human part of you (Mina's ugly script) thought it would be fair to at least give her the opportunity to explain to you why she was the way she was.

Mina looked up from her laptop and smiled gently at you.

"Anything you want, princess".

You could hear the relief in her voice and you knew she was probably glad you spoke to her again.

And to be honest, you liked that situation. The fact, that she was so eager to talk to you again gave you an incredible feeling of power.

Usually you played by her rules and now you had the reins in hand.

You crossed your arms over your chest and looked at her for a few seconds with narrowed eyes. Despair literally glittered in her eyes and you couldn't help but enjoy this moment.

"I want to get to know Y / N", you finally said and watched as her brown eyes widened.

"You can't be serious," she whispered in disbelief.

"I am absolutely serious."

You shrugged your shoulders.

"You want me to get 'normal' again, but for that to happen, I have to understand you first, and here we are."

"But- ..", Mina started and then broke off herself. This stunned look sparked another war in you.

One side wanted to love her and tell her the idea was stupid, while the other side of you hated her profoundly.

"I hope you are aware, that this is not possible," she said quietly.

"And why not? Because then she finds out that you are a psychopath? This is your problem and not mine."

"Y / N, I can't do this," she mumbled, always seeing youstill horrified.

"I can dress up or something," you replied and immediately hated yourself for your willingness to compromise.

Mina shook her head.

"That's impossible Y / N ... your voice even sounds like hers."

"Nobody pays attention to the voice."

"Jonathan would notice," Mina said, pressing her lips together.

"Jonathan?" You repeated, confused, and raised an eyebrow.

"Her Husband," she mumbled softly.

"And why should your husband come with her, when I just want to see her?"

"He does not like me."

"And why should you come with me, when I want to see her?"

"Oh Y / N, come on", Mina rolled her eyes. "Do you really think, I'm so stupid and leave you alone with her? No way."

You snorted in annoyance and shook your head as you stood up.

"It was clear that you wanted to be in control of that too," you muttered, turning to walk out of the room.

"I'll leave the decision to you, Mina, but don't expect me to come back to you if you don't even give me the opportunity to understand you."

----------------------

And Mina actually didn't seem to have given up hope, when she told you on the same day, ,that she would agree to your request.

It was maybe a bit ridiculous to dress up because of the whole thing, but otherwise Mina would not have agreed and you also wanted to spare Y / N, what had happened to you the last few weeks. By being basically Y / N, you knew exactly what it would feel like for her to find out the truth about you.

"So .. what do you think?" You asked when you walked into the hallway to Mina, who was already waiting.

Mina looked you up and down critically.

You had to do your best not to look like yourself, or rather not to look like her.

Dyed hair, different make-up, more conspicuous clothing and jewelry.

"I don't like it," Mina muttered and you rolled your eyes.

"It's not about whether you like it, it's about whether I look like her."

Mina shook her head.

"You definitely don't do that and I still think it's ugly."

"Well, maybe I should always dress like this now," you muttered as you stepped forward to leave the house.

During the drive to the café, Mina explained her rules to you and that she would interrupt the whole thing immediately if you didn't follow them.

But you didn't listen to her at all. In your mind you were with Y / N and the life that was actually intended for you and it annoyed you, that Mina was so addicted to control.

"So, behave, understand?" She finished her sermon as she parked the car.

"Do I have any other choice? Otherwise you would probably take me to the junkyard," you joked and climbed out of the car, only for Mina to come to you and take her hand in yours. You wanted to push her away, her behavior was disgusting, but instead you gave her a warm smile and pressed a quick kiss on her cheek.

You knew exactly how much that would hurt her.

Mina pulled you into the overcrowded café and despite the many people you immediately discovered the young couple, who were sitting at one of the back tables.

Y / N, who had a child on her lap and her husband Jonathan.

Shit, shot through your head. They look so happy ..

You felt Mina's grip on your hand tighten a little, and if your bones weren't made of steel, you would have been afraid, Mina would break your hand. As you both approached the table, your eyes were glued to Y / N. In fact, she looked exactly like you, the only difference being that her hair was a little longer than yours. She moved like you, had the same posture as you and wore the same innocent smile on her face as you always did.

And as much as you loathe Mina, you had to give her one thing: she had done an excellent job designing you and you finally understood, what she always meant when she told you, that you were perfect.

She could have shown you a photo of Y / N and you would have been 100% sure that it was you.

"Oh Mina, hi", Y / N squeaked excitedly and got up from her seat when she saw Mina and you and you couldn't help but grin. Stupid thing.

"Hello Y / N," Mina mumbled when Y / N came and hugged her.

"I'm Y / N," Y / N said to you with a polite smile after letting go of Mina.

"And this is my husband Jonathan and our daughter Emily."

Your gaze wandered to the child who paid you no attention and to Jonathan who smiled crookedly.

"Uhm Y / N, that's my girlfriend Laura", Mina stammered and you looked at her confused. Laura?

"Hi," you mumbled tersely, trying to bring a smile to your face.

You watched Y / N turn away from you againe to sit next to your husband and put the child back on your lap.

"God, I'm so glad, that we can meet," Y / N said excitedly as Mina and you sat down (Mina across from Y / N while you sat down across from her annoyed husband).

"You know, I was really sad when you said a few weeks ago you weren't going to our college meeting .. I missed you, Mina."

You knew how much Y / N's words would hurt Mina and suddenly you found the fact, that you were sitting with her in this cafe with the real Y / N and her great life more than just amazing. And you knew that Mina made herself very vulnerable at that moment, which was actually a rarity.

"You know, Mina, I was really happy for you when you told me that you had a girlfriend," Y / N said while she stared at you curiously. Holy shit.

"How did you meet?"

"Uhm she-" Mina began, but you interrupted her.

"Let me tell her, honey."

You grabbed Mina's hand, that was on the table and crossed her fingers with yours.

"Well, as you know, Mina works in this robot company. And because Mina is not stupid, she had the great idea to create a human robot that exactly meets her ideas, who wouldn't do that if you were CEO of this company? And unfortunately her ideas looked exactly like me and in front of you sits the end result of her experiment and thats our lovestory. "

Y / N and Jonathan stared at you in confusion and you could hear Mina holding her breath. You held this tension for a few seconds before you laughed out loud.

"Oh my god, guys..that was a joke", you laughed and immediately the looks of the others relaxed again. Mina cleared her throat only to growl a quiet "not funny".

"So you know, I work in a bookstore and she was my customer back then. Love at first sight and that shit. And then we started dating," you explained and looked at Mina lovingly from the side. Disgusting.

You heard Y / N squeak softly next to Jonathan and you wondered if you were as annoying as she was.

"Thats so cute," she said. "And how long have you been together?"

"4 years", Mina muttered and you hummed in agreement.

"I'm happy for you," said Y / N and looked back and forth between you and Mina, smiling.

"Jonathan and I have known each other since college, as Mina must have told you."

"Oh yeah," you said, staring at the child playing in Y / N's lap. It looked just like her, and who knows, maybe it was just a robot?

"Mina told me a lot about you, unfortunately a little late. Well, whatever, what are you two doing?"

"We're both mechanics and work in rocket construction," Y / N explained and Jonathan just nodded.

"You know, Jonathan is currently working with other mechanics on a rocket that will go to Mars."

Y / N gave Jonathan a proud look.

"Oh wow, that's so cool," you said with mock admiration as you stared at Jonathan with bright eyes.

"You know, Mina's work is really boring, but rocket building? That is so interesting, tell me more about your work, jonathan."

The man in front of you looked at you confused as you cocked your head and smiled sweetly at him.

"Uhm, so I work in a team with 14 other mechanics," he explained bored and crossed his arms over his chest. "And we plan to finish the whole project within the next two years."

"And should the rocket be for humans?" You asked as you put your hand on his arm to remove a lint that didn't exist. Beside you, you could feel Mina squeeze your hand tight and you knew, that she hated to see you obviously flirting with the man.

Jonathan cleared his throat and pulled his arms apart again so that you had to remove your hand again.

"This rocket is supposed to be for robots," he muttered, looking at his wife, who was sitting next to him, smiling gently.

"Oh, did you hear Mina? Robots?" You said as you turned to Mina to look at her with shining eyes.

"Maybe I should report to NASA, I would be the perfect astronaut for this mission".

You looked back at Y / N and Jonathan, who obviously didn't know what to make of your statement again. You grinned cheekily when you put your hand on Jonathans again.

"I understand, that all of the robot comments might sound a bit confusing, but you have to know, that Mina has some really weird fetishes."

------------

"What the hell was that supposed to be?" Scolded Mina after the two of you had reentered your house. You turned to her and shrugged your shoulders.

"I don't know what you mean, honey," you said with an innocent smile on your face as you approached her passed to enter the living room. Mina watched you angrily as you let yourself fall on the sofa to stare indifferently out of the window.

"Those stupid robot comments?" She hissed angrily.

"And then the disgusting way you stared at Jonathan with .."

You snorted in annoyance.

"Of course it is that thing that bothers you".

"Yes, it bothers me because you know that I hate him", Mina hissed and hobbled into the room to stand in front of you.

"You fucking belong to me Y / N .."

"Of course I'm yours," you mumbled sadly and while you were still looking out the window, you could feel her angry eyes digging into your skin. You thought back to the previous afternoon. Y / N had started talking about their perfect life in response to your questions. Her and Jonathan's career, and then cute Emily, who had been sitting at the table the whole time playing with a teddy bear. You noticed, that as a stupid robot you could probably never have children and you couldn't help but feel envy for this woman and again there was this hate for Mina.

"Okay, take that off," Mina suddenly said in a sharp voice. You looked at her confused and blinked a few times.

"Please what-?"

"Take. That. Off.", She repeated, growling, while her eyes wandered over your body. "This makeup, the jewelry and these clothes, that's not you. And I want you .. now"

"Oh no ... I definitely won't do that," you breathed as you stood up.

"I told you, I didn't want anything physical from you until things were cleared up."

"I waited a long time Y / N and nothing happened, so take this shit off," Mina spat, staring at you impatiently.

"Leave me alone, Wilhemina," you muttered as you stepped past her to leave the room.

"You will come back immediately, Y / N", Mina suddenly shouted in a tone that was strange to you and immediately made you jump. Her voice suddenly sounded so shrill that it gave goose bumps over your body.

You turned around automatically to go back to the living room, where Mina was still angry and looking at you expectantly.

"I want you to take your clothes off," she said sharply, and you just couldn't argue. There was that sound in her voice that she had never yelled at you with, even though you had argued a lot in the past few weeks.

"Now, Y / N," she hissed loudly before she hit the floor with her stick and you immediately began to take off all the jewelry, that you had only been wearing to not look like Y / N. You grabbed an unused kleenex, that was lying on the living room table to wipe the lipstick off your lips. Your fingers carefully removed the lashes, that you had placed on your eyelashes. Your eyes were still on Mina, who had meanwhile sat down on the sofa and watched your every move. You stood in front of her, undecided after throwing the handkerchief with your lipstick and lashes on the table.

"I want you to sit on my lap," said Mina and suddenly you understood why you were actually doing what she wanted.

“I want.”

Damn robot.

You carefully climbed onto her lap and stared sadly into her brown eyes, which were dark with lust.

"Good girl," she hummed, sending warmth through your whole body.

"Its that what you want, isn't it? Be my good girl?"

You looked down at her with glassy eyes before you nodded.

Immediately her hands began to wander over your body and you knew that you had failed.

You had never hated yourself and your stupid body as much as you had for the next few hours. As warm tears of frustration ran down your face, you moaned her name like a whore. It was fascinating how your body reacted to her touch, you wanted her so bad, simply because she programmed you that way.

With that she had won.

You had fought her for 3 weeks, only to end up in bed with her again. You hated her for it and you hated yourself and still you let her fuck you so senselessly.

When you found yourself in your bed a few hours later and felt her naked body pressed against yours, you felt more terrible than ever. Mina had her arms wrapped tightly around you and you could feel her breath on your neck. It was all disgusting and you noticed how it got too much.

You carefully freed yourself from her iron grip to go quietly from your bedroom into the bathroom. You turn on the light and stand in front of the mirror to examine your naked body. Disgusting.

Your face looked completely tearful, with a swollen lower lip that she had a few hours agohad eyes.

Your body was covered with small bruises and the prints of her fingernails and suddenly you could feel her hands running over your body again. It was electrifying.

You hated this picture in front of you. You were only there to be hers. To do what she wanted. And there was nothing you could do about it.

Your fingers carefully traced her markings. None of this was real. Your skin was some kind of rubber that only discolored. An illusion to hide your cables. And you've had enough of this human shell, this illusion. You were a robot and you looked like a human, you acted like a human and that didn't make any sense. You finally wanted to know who or rather what you were. Your eyes wandered from your reflection in the mirror to the sink and the small nail scissors stabbed your eyes.

The whole thing was idiotic, but you couldn't help but hold out your trembling hand for it.

----------------

A few minutes after you got out of bed, Mina woke up too. The lack of warmth in your body was missing, as was your weight in her arms. For a brief moment she was afraid, that you would finally have run away, but then it occurred to her, that you couldn't run away, that's how she had programmed you. Still, she had the feeling that something was wrong.

Mina sat up to grab her dressing gown, which she pulled over her naked body, and then hobbled out of the bedroom into the hallway to look for you. She didn't have to look far as the light shone from the open bathroom and she saw you leaning over the sink.

"Princess?" She asked softly and put a hand on your bare shoulder. You winced at her touch as you turned and revealed to Mina what you had done. Mina let out a shocked scream and stared in horror at your slashed arm, which revealed all the cables and your metal bones.

"What the fuck are you doing ?!", She screamed angrily as she grabbed your arm.

"I- I just wanted to see my real body," you stuttered and hid the nail scissors behind your back.

"Don't you see that you are destroying everything?", Mina spat and looked at you hurt.

"You're the one who breaks everything."

"Mina, please," you mumbled and pulled your open arm back again.

"I just want you to be normal again," she breathed and felt tears come out of her eyes. You shook your head slowly.

"We already had this conversation, I'm not going back to normal, you have to understand."

"Oh I understand it now".

Mina looked at you thoughtfully for a moment before continuing.

"Get dressed."

"It's 5 am," you said and watched in confusion as Mina turned around to go back to your bedroom from the bathroom.

"You understood me, Y / N", Mina mumbled and heard how you ran after her angrily.

"Make up your mind Mina," you hissed as you walked past her to your closet. "Before you wanted me to take my clothes off, just so you would tell me now to get dressed again."

"You can also accompany me to my office naked," Mina hummed, who started to get dressed. You spun around and stared at her in confusion.

"You want us to go to your office?"

"Exactly".

"Forget it," you snorted and shook your head.

"I won't do that shit. You can't-"

"Shut the fuck up!" Shouted Mina.

"I want us to go to my office and you will come with me, do you understand me?"

She glared at you and you nodded quickly.

"Good," she hissed. "Now damn it, get dressed and shut up."

----------

Mina was incredibly nervous when she drove to her office. She didn't really know what she wanted there herself.

She wanted you to go back to normal, but you didn't go back to normal. She wanted you to be Y / N again, but you weren't. Mina could feel that you were scared when you sat silently next to her in the car without moving. But she didn't care, earlier she might have calmed you down, but earlier you were still like Y / N.

Mina parked the car in the company's parking lot before opening the door for you to get out. Without a word, she ran through the building, clutching your wrist with her free hand. What hadn't been cut open. She stomped angrily into the office of Jeff and Mutt, who were bent over the table again to coke.

"Look Mutt, Venny joins the chatroom," grinned Mutt as he lifted his head from the table and recognized Miss Venable.

"What gives us the honor?"

Mina put her hand on your back and pushed you forward.

"She is broken," she croaked. "She doesn't work anymore .."

"So what should we do now?" Asked Jeff, as he got up and walked over to you to look at your cut arm.

"I want you to fix her, she should be normal," Mina hissed and felt tears sting in her eyes again.

"Otherwise replace her if you have to, I don't want her if she is like that."

Mina looked sadly into your fearful eyes. There was nothing left of the loving glint she'd seen when you smiled at her the first time. You weren't like Y / N and as long as you weren't like her, she didn't want you. Damn robot.

Sandman, I'm so alone Don't have nobody to call my own Please turn on your magic beam Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream

#wilhemina venable x reader #wilhemina venable imagine #sarah paulson x reader #sarah paulson imagine #american horror story

114 notes · View notes

evakuality · 4 years ago

Photo

There’s something not quite right about Matteo this evening; his eyes are shuttered and his face set in a way that’s unnatural. Or at least in a way that hasn’t been natural for Matteo in so many months that David can’t even count. When he raises a questioning eyebrow, though, Matteo just shrugs and drags the most unconvincing smile onto his face. Seeing the way Matteo tries to force cheer sends small flickers of unease licking at David’s heels. His heart squeezes, cold fear sneaking its way into his chest. It’s stupid and he knows it’s stupid, but there’s still a small part of David that feels unloved and unloveable. That part assumes the worst, that this is because of something he’s done.

The worst of it is that David can’t do what he usually does to get through to Matteo. He can’t wrap him up in some sort of embrace and hold him until he’s ready to say something about whatever it is. Around them, their friends are bubbly and chatty, overflowing with joy and laughter. The tree in one corner is bright with sparkling lights, the candles on the wreath glimmer, and the rest of the space is filled with a dimmed glow from two lamps at the side of the room, allowing the strings of coloured lights placed high up along the walls - in a haphazard attempt at straight lines - to glitter and cast their colours onto the walls behind them. Alcohol is flowing freely, and their guests all seem to be enjoying themselves. It’s a party, long planned by an excitable Matteo and David in this their first home together, and as host David feels he has some responsibilities to their guests.

Dragging his eyes away from Matteo, who has settled onto a couch near Jonas and Hanna, and looks like he’s taking at least some part in the conversation, David pulls on his own almost-certainly unconvincing smile and turns to the people nearest to him. He keeps an eye on Matteo over the rest of the evening, drifting close every now and then to check on him. Matteo always responds willingly enough, reaching out a hand to grasp David’s fingers as he passes, or leaning into a kiss pressed to his forehead or cheek.

It quickly becomes clear that despite David’s brief anxiety that this is something he’s done, that Matteo is gaining some sort of strength from these small connections with David. His smile always tips up into something more natural in the aftermath of each one. But his mood doesn’t improve over time. Indeed, he seems to settle further into some sort of melancholy. He valiantly plays host, smiling at everyone, making small talk and refilling snacks. But David can see the toll it’s taking on him, the weariness in his face, the way his smile slips when he thinks no-one is looking. The slump of his shoulders as things clearly get too much.

David frowns as he makes his way into the kitchen with a small handful of empty bottles. He’s finished tipping out the dregs and is just opening the fridge to see if there are more he can bring out to replenish the coolers they have scattered around the room, when he hears a slight cough from behind him. He jumps, on edge from the worry he’s been feeling about Matteo, and the bottles rattle in the fridge’s door as it slips from his fingers and clatters closed as he turns to take in whoever has entered.

Face pale and eyes hooded, Matteo stands there. He moves closer to David, who opens his arms in invitation. Matteo falls into them, his breath huffing out against David’s neck as he wraps his arms around David’s waist and mutters something too low to hear clearly. David lets his fingers tangle in Matteo’s hair, running soothing circles the way he knows his boyfriend likes, and slowly Matteo’s body relaxes, and the tight grip he’s had on David’s shirt loosens.

“You want to talk about it?” David offers. He expects Matteo to step back and refuse because that’s what he usually does. When there are other people, Matteo’s not usually keen to let out things that might shatter his peace.

Instead, Matteo’s breath stutters briefly and he nods against David’s neck. “Yeah,” he breathes. “But not here.” He pulls back and indicates the kitchen with another nod.

“Okay,” David agrees, trying not to let his relief show that Matteo is willing to let him in to whatever is bothering him. He’s glad they can talk now, and he knows they need to be alone for this, but he’s also aware they can’t really leave everyone here without them. So he compromises, with a small laugh at the irony of what he’s about to say. “Balcony?” he suggests.

Matteo laughs, a small mirthless acknowledgement of the shared joke. They’d chosen this place out of numerous others they’d seen just because it has a balcony that reminds Matteo of the one he’d had at the flatshare. David teases him about the much better bathroom facilities they could have had in their second choice, but Matteo always remains adamant. The balcony is worth it.

“Balcony,” Matteo agrees.

Matteo makes his way through their bedroom to the doorway out to the balcony while David pauses briefly in the main room to let Laura and Jonas know where they are if they’re needed. By the time he gets through and slips outside, closing the doors behind him to keep the heat inside the small apartment, Matteo has settled onto the small couch they’ve squeezed into the space. His legs are propped up on the table in front of him and he’s looking pensively out over the city lying sparkling in front of them.

He looks up as David sits down next to him, grabs the cosy blanket they have so they can sit here on cooler nights like this one and spreads it over both of them. His eyes are smudged with fatigue and dark circles bruise the skin under them.

David sits there in silence, listening to the muffled sounds of the city below them, waiting for Matteo to speak. Glancing sideways, David watches as he plucks anxiously at a long thread that’s sneaking out of the edge of the blanket. It’s a long minute before he quietly says, “saw my dad today.”

“Oh.”

That makes sense of everything that Matteo has done since he got here this evening. Those meetings never go well, and he always needs time and space with David or alone before he can comfortably deal with the surge of emotions that always flood to the surface,

Matteo huffs out a wryly amused laugh. “Yeah.” he says, fingers now twining the exposed thread from the blanket roughly around each other over and over again in a steady rhythm, as if it centres him. “It was shit.”

“Shittier than normal?”

Matteo nods, his lips pursing into a compressed line as he clearly rolls the conversation over again in his thoughts.

“He wanted to know when I was going to do something normal.” He looks sideways, as if seeking reassurance from David, and David can see the pain in his eyes. “He wanted to know when I was going to stop being strange and find a nice girl to marry.” He laughs, the sound cutting right through David. There’s nothing amused in it. He shakes his head as if in disbelief, mockingly imitating the tone his father used when he repeats, “strange.”

“You’re not strange,” David says, taking his hand. “You know that, right?”

Matteo’s shoulders move in a tiny shrug. He doesn’t answer directly, instead saying, “I keep hoping he’ll be better each time. I’m so stupid for believing it.”

His voice is shaking with the effort of trying to act like it doesn’t really matter, trying to make the self-chastisement sound like a joke. But David knows Matteo well enough to know it’s not a joke.

“You’re not stupid.”

“It’s just hard,” Matteo says quietly. “It’s Christmas, you know?” He sighs, his fingers picking up their rhythm on the thread again, twisting it back and forth. “I always hope he’ll be better when it’s Christmas.”

“Yeah, I know,” David says. “It never gets easier.”

He’s speaking from his own experience, and how it always stings a little when his parents don’t try to include him in any of his own holiday traditions. Matteo nods, burrows closer. He knows how bad it can be for David, too. It’s because they have this shared frustration with their relationships with family that they’re each able to talk about it when they need to.

It’s silent for a long time, allowing David to reflect. He can hear the muffled booming sound of the music Hans has chosen for the evening’s playlist, a bizarre mix of breezy Christmas songs and thumping bass lines. Hans had insisted on being the DJ, saying that David and Matteo don’t have the right sort of music for a party. They let him do it, since it made him happy. Listening to the abrupt change in beats between songs, David’s not sure if they made the best decision there.

Still, the slower, easier cadence of the latest song allows him to slow his own thoughts down and take stock of what’s happening here. David can tell, in between the things Matteo has said, just how much has been left unsaid. He’s heard first hand some of the stinging, aggressive comments Matteo’s father can dole out, and he can imagine how bad it must have been today for it to have felt shittier than normal to Matteo.

“I feel better now,” Matteo says as if he can hear the thought David just had. “Being with you always helps. It was shit before, not being able to.”

Hearing it means so much. It’s not that long since David tried to hold himself aloof from everyone who would try to get close to him, sure that he’d been opening himself up to weakness and rejection. Instead, what he keeps finding over and over, is that Matteo reaffirms their bond in so many ways, big and small.

He’s tired, David can feel it in the slump of his body, but there’s a peace in him that wasn’t there before. It feels nice knowing that he was able to help with that. That just being here settles Matteo. It’s in that moment that David knows. He knows for absolute sure that he wants to spend the rest of his life with Matteo.

He turns to press a kiss into Matteo’s hair, whispering, “I love you,” as he does so. He can feel Matteo’s muscles move as his mouth curls up into a smile when he hears the words. It always makes Matteo smile this way when David says it, so he says it often just to catch that smile Matteo saves just for times like this.

“I love you too,” Matteo says, turning so he can look David in the eye properly for the first time since they got out here this evening.

His eyes look clearer than they did when they came out here, and the smudges under his eyes are less prominent.

“I want to ask you something,” David says impulsively, taking Matteo’s hand in his own. He laughs at the look that chases onto Matteo’s face; it’s suspicious because they never talk like this, asking permission to say something and Matteo can tell something is different tonight.

Now it’s David’s turn to look away; the intensity in that gaze is getting too much for him and he knows he won’t retain his composure if he tries to hold Matteo’s eyes. So he focuses on Matteo’s fingers, curled trustingly in his own. He should have got a ring before he did this, David thinks irrelevantly. But he’s not going to back out now.

“You know how… how closed I was before I met you. How I wanted to run away from everyone and everything. How much everything hurt all the time.”

“Yeah,” Matteo agrees softly. “I recognised something in you that was the same as me.”

David nods, chances a look up at Matteo and sees the wry smile he’s giving. These aren’t easy memories, for either of them. But there’s something healing in remembering those times and how much they meant to each other because of it. Matteo has always shone in David’s memory for the way he steadfastly never gave up, for the way he was willing to work with David through whatever was messing with him. Getting to do that for each other for the rest of their lives? Yeah, David’s ready to dive into that.

“The thing is, I get what you’re saying about your dad and how shitty that all is. And… and my parents too. And I know this time of year is hard for you when he’s… like he is.”

He pauses, because he can feel his emotions welling up. It’s not perfect, the things he’s saying and the way they got here, but it works for them and it’s only now that he’s saying it that David understands how perfect it is to do this in a moment like this. Because everything that has come behind them emphasises everything that is good about the two of them together. And Christmas has always a time of change and reflection for Matteo; it’s why he’s always hoping his father will have changed. So why not transition into something even better now, with David?

“You’re my home,” David continues after refocusing, his fingers trembling where Matteo’s are sitting in them. “And I’m yours, I think.”

“You are,” Matteo agrees.

His voice is firm, with no trace of doubt. David smiles. He knows this, of course, but those small doubts still flood him sometimes so there’s always a tiny buzz of relief and delight when Matteo says it like it’s a truth, immutable and eternal. David’s not above fishing to get Matteo to say it, and does so often, but tonight there’s a deeper purpose.

“So, your dad doesn’t matter,” David says. “I know it feels big and shit and like you’re small. I know that. I’ve felt that before, hoping it might change if I just find a way to be better, but I never could.” He stops and processes for a moment, figuring out how to say the rest of what he wants to. “I feel like… like I had such a small family before. It was just Laura really. But now I have you and I don’t need anyone else. I don’t have to be better, and neither do you. Because you’re good the way you are - just like you told me one time.”

Matteo smiles, something small, but there’s a relaxed happiness there that David wants to bottle. He loves being able to get through to Matteo like this. He loves that memory and everything that surrounded it, and he knows it’s resonated with Matteo too. He can see the way the things they’ve said have eased the tense lines of his body.

“You haven’t asked anything yet,” Matteo points out, puncturing the moment, and David laughs. It’s such a Matteo thing to do that he can’t help himself, and he knows it means he’s had the effect he’d wanted to.

“I’m trying to be all romantic and supportive here,” David says, shoving Matteo.

Matteo’s eyes are lit up now, with what David thinks of as his ‘usual’ mischievous look. Matteo shoves him back, laughing, the sound welcome after the heaviness of the evening beforehand. He sobers quickly, though, sincerity flooding through his face as he leans into David and rests their foreheads together.

“You don’t need to try to be romantic,” Matteo says quietly. “I feel a lot better already.”

He knows, then, what David was trying to do at the start. But he hasn’t caught on to the rest of it, so David sucks in a breath and kisses him. Centering himself before he blurts out something reckless and ruins what he wants to do, David lets himself watch Matteo’s face as he carries on.

“I do though,” David says. “I said I want to ask you something.”

“Yeah, you did.”

“I just wanted to say that I love you, I love all our moments even the hard ones. And I want to have more of them for the rest of our lives.”

Matteo blinks at him, clearly taken aback. “You want…?”

“To have more moments with you for the rest of our lives, yeah. You’re my home,” he repeats, knowing Matteo still hasn’t quite caught up with what he’s trying to ask, “and I want to marry you.”

It finally hits Matteo and his face evens out into something wondrous. “You do?”

Laughing, feeling light and almost drunk with relief now that he’s said it, David takes Matteo's hand again. “I do. It was a bit of a rushed decision so I didn’t get a ring or anything. But it felt right to do it now, you know?”

“Me feeling miserable felt like the right time?”

But Matteo’s laughing, his face lit up, so David knows he doesn’t really mean it.

“It did kinda. Because it reminded me that even in these hardest times, when it feels like everything has fallen apart around us, that I still have you and you still have me. And I wanted to seize that and keep it forever.”

“Well I’m not sure,” Matteo says, his fingers tracing a light line along David's jaw down to his lips. Taken aback by the strange turn this has taken, David frowns. Matteo laughs again and brushes a kiss onto the lips his fingers had just been tracing. “You still didn’t ask me anything.”

“Ass,” David says. On another impulse, he slides off the seat, letting the blanket fall from their laps as he drops to one knee and grins up at Matteo with one hand on his chest and one held out beseechingly to his boyfriend. “Will you marry me?”

Matteo rolls his eyes, and drags him back up onto the seat next to him. “Of course I will,” he says, pulling David in for a kiss to seal the moment.

Snuggled together on the seat, the sounds of the party intruding as someone flings a window open in the living room, David sighs his happiness.

“I’ve been thinking it for a while,” he admits. “I just didn’t quite know how to do it, but sitting here with you I knew times and places weren’t important. What was important was us being here together through thick and thin.”

“See?” Matteo murmurs as he lays his head on David’s shoulder and kisses the skin he finds there. “The balcony was worth it.”

“It wasn’t the balcony,” David protests. “It was me being super romantic.”

But, he thinks as they choose to stay there together, that maybe the balcony is symbolic of their relationship after all. It’s a small space they can carve out together in the world where other people are near and other things try to intrude. But if they inhabit it together, wrapped up in the warmth they give each other, it does make everything all feel different. Easier. Worthwhile.

Below them, the city glimmers on, uncaring of everything it’s just witnessed. But here in their bubble all that matters is the two of them.

And that’s what makes all of this, “totally worth it,” David whispers into Matteo's hair.

Find it also here on A03 if you prefer to read there

I want to say many many thanks to @boudoir-of-secrets who cheered me on through this little thing and gave a lot of valuable feedback 💜 This was based on two prompts, but I did play with both so they’re not quite exactly what was asked for: “ Matteos dad being a total asshole to Matteo during the Christmas time and Matteo seeks shelter by David. Because in the end just David's presence makes everything better and with David he always feels safe.” and “David proposes to Matteo during Christmas time with a cute and long speech. How he is his home, the reason he stopped running, he is his everything.”

#og druck #davenzi #my fic stuff #something that sort of fits the holiday season

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stomp-that-ho-regard · 4 years ago

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Needed to get this campaign wrap-up rant off my chest...

This is the specific part that irked me:

MATT: "While he never voiced this in game, Caleb's feelings for Jester have been an important part of his journey. Did he ever come close to confessing? How was playing such a long lasting, one-sided love after our last campaign's bittersweet ending for a Vax and Kiki?"

LIAM: I was never going to do romance of any kind, one-sided or otherwise in this campaign, because I felt like we really explored that pretty heavily campaign one. I think you'll remember Jester drove Caleb nuts at the beginning of the campaign, and so it was nothing that I ever expected at all. And then when they were in, was it Rexxentrum wherever the dance hall was. And I alluded to this earlier, dancing was never anything that I imagined for Caleb, but it was just like, and you were asking him to dance, Jester was asking him to dance. I was like, "Oh, this could be an interesting way to like sort of seed my story, that we're not really around yet." And there was something about, not the dancing, but the way that Jester treated him kindly after the fact like his response was to be like, "I'm going to go fucking vomit in a street, and just be by myself," and she wouldn't let it happen. And that was just like this first little moment where someone was like-- Everyone in the Nein-- I want to answer another question while I'm answering this. I wonder if we had gone that different direction that we talked about earlier where we didn't go crime, and we had gone into Rexxentrum earlier, and if Caleb had started interfacing with his past earlier, I think he would have had a gnarlier, more severe trajectory in this campaign. If he had touched his past sooner, it would have changed what he was, but he spent way too much with the Nein, for when we finally did catch up to them, it was too late, that he'd already been healed enough by the Nein, it didn't matter. And everyone in the Nein had an effect on Caleb, they all had their love like in different ways; Yasha, he could relate to. Caduceus was like a guru that confused but inspired. Fjord, who Caleb thought was real hot at the beginning of the campaign, was a great leader and, like, just I don't know, I feel like he was his closest friend, outside of Nott, early in the campaign. Beau brought tough love. Veth was this ultimate support no matter what happened. But what started to happen with Jester was that she was treating Caleb like the person-- She was treating him as if he was the person he should have been. Like none of it had happened. And he became like-- It just got in him, but he would have never wanted to saddle her with all his shit. And the difference, like-- There was also a point in the campaign where I could see, in Yasha's absence, Beauregard warming up to her, and I already quietly been thinking and going like, "Well, I'll just have this little thing that maybe fans will see," and some did early on, like it was silent. It was all silent. And then I was like, "Well, Travis is never going to do it." Oh, Travis just came online, so the entire side of the table quietly like, "Oh," at Jester for a while. But Caleb knew that Beau and Fjord would've been far better for her, because they would have put aside anything for Jester and made her their number one. And Caleb knew that, as much as she like changed him and helped him in a very specific way, and and he quietly fell in love with her and like a Jane Austen, I'm never going to say it. That he would never have set aside the things that he was trying to do. He would never have set aside trying to either get back to his parents and fix that. He would never set aside trying to undo the Cerberus Assembly if he were strong enough, so, like, that was too all-consuming, and so he would never wanted to saddle her with it, so it was always going to stay inside. And there were multiple times in the campaign where Jester teasingly needled Caleb, and I was terrified that you would say the word "Insight check," multiple times.

LAURA: I think I did it once.

LIAM: Well, you must have rolled really low when you did because I did my best to like pull faces at you, and poo poo it, and do something silly to dodge out of those situations.

LAURA: Are you secretly in love with me?

LIAM: And yeah, you said that, and I went like (blows raspberries) that's fucking ridiculous with my face, and we moved on. (laughter)

LAURA: It's so funny when you joke about the whole table being in love with Jester because Jester had, like, no concept of it at all. Her whole upbringing was everybody being in love with her mother, and her whole, and she knew she's so different from Marion, in her appearance, and the way she presents herself that-- To her, that is what people want, that's what everybody would be in love with. And so there was never-- She would never have thought in a million years that Beau would have been interested, or that Caleb would have been interested, or that Fjord would have been interested. She tried to be Marion and when she was coming on to him in the early campaign, and obviously, it did not work. So she was like, "Okay, then-- Nobody's-- That's not going to happen for me." So it just like turned off in her brain, like nobody will.

TRAVIS: There was a moment where that stopped, too, because like you doing the thing that you thought your mom did and that worked, you know, Fjord's like, "I've never been flirted with before, I don't know what this is. Stop doing it." All that behavior stopped, and you like let the happy Jester fall away. Like, I think it was on the sea, right, like with the jellyfish scene. And then it all happened.

MARISHA: That's when you started crying. There was a few times where there was these moments of Jester smiling, but tears were streaming down her face.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MARISHA: Trying to be the happiest person in the room. And then, yeah. I don't know. Jester always had this, but I think why Jester is so enigmatic, and so easy fall in love with is because she is the purest person in the room, so that it invites this kind of--

LIAM: Which doesn't even mean innocent, it just means the purest person--

MARISHA: Pure, yeah. It's just very endearing and it got in the way-- and this is almost going to sound condescending-- but almost in the way that a child is where if a little girl runs up to you, and they're like, "Look at this card, I think I want to cover the whole thing in glitter." You kind of have no choice, but to be like, "Yeah, that's a great idea."

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: Cover the whole thing, and like, even if it's bad. She felt like almost like the perfect exercise for "Yes, and-ing." Like, the concept of "Yes, and-ing," because half of them were terrible ideas, but you were like, "Yeah, brilliant."

LAURA: Also, I feel that people are drawn to somebody who sees the best in them, right? You're drawn to somebody that loves you, and she just has an unconditional love for like everybody--

LIAM: She changes everyone she meets, including a hag in a hut.

MARISHA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Yes.

Laura’s answer here is, for the most part, true. Jester was always pretty oblivious to people being into her. That was a pretty clear character trait. However, that still doesn't explain her roleplaying choices after Beau’s confession. And I wish someone was able to ask her about that and get a direct answer. Why was there a behavior shift? Was it just Laura trolling and teasing Marisha about it, or was Laura actually trying to force Beau to confess directly?

There was a pretty condescending post about this that I found in the discourse tag that said: I know it won't happen cause people never cared about what she says anyway, but Laura confirming again that Jester never knew about Caleb and Beau's feelings for her should be enough to stop the dumb takes like "bj was happening before the hiatus but then they decided to change it" or "Jester was falling in love with Caleb and she changed it" or whatever.

‘Laura confirming again’ Again? What other time has she said this?

‘Jester never knew about Caleb and Beau’s feelings’ Laura said that ‘She would never have thought in a million years that they would be interested’ and included Fjord in that section too, so whatever point this person’s trying to make is moot.

Countering that, I want to say, that nothing in Laura’s answer seemed to give the impression that Jester would have turned down Beau (or, hate to say it, even Caleb) had they actually confessed to her. There’s nothing in her answer to imply that Jester could not have reciprocated those feelings had she known. Nowhere did I get the implication that Jester was only ever interested in men and that Fjord was the only viable choice. (Laura still has not addressed Jester’s sexuality. FJ shippers love to ignore that, and still swear up and down that she’s straight.)

Now when Marisha piped in, she didn’t even focus on Beau’s feelings, and the depth of what she was feeling at the time. Instead, she’s wrote them off. Again. Intentionally minimizing and essentially doubling down on what was said in ep108. That it’s just so easy for anyone to fall for Jester, even going as far as calling her ‘pure’. Basically infantilizing her, by comparing her behavior to that of a child which yes, Marisha, does sound condescending. (You can add that to the list of ‘sparkles’ ‘confetti’ and ‘shiny’.) And that’s it. That’s the extent to which she talks about it.

Also, the fact that the Beaujester stuff was only brought up (very briefly and casually), as a sort of ‘b’ topic to WJ. Liam got to go off on this whole extremely long-winded reminiscing answer because he got a direct question about it. It’s like, “And none for Beaujester!” Once again, Caleb’s feelings being given more weight than Beau’s ever were.

So, another kick in the teeth. Not so much from Laura. But from Marisha. The person who MADE THE CHOICE to inject Beau developing feelings for Jester into the canon narrative. The way Marisha talks about it now, it’s just a complete mind fuck as to why she made the decision to have Beau confess at all. Why even open that door? Even if she felt, at the time, that Beau would feel this way, she could’ve just kept it to herself. And not made waves about it. And not doubled down on it the following week. And not had continued for at least THREE MONTHS after that to roleplay Beau STILL having obvious feelings for Jester. I mean, come the fuck on.

Look at ep93 with the Hag. When Jester was telling the group that she gave the Hag something she had never given anyone before. Beau frowned and said, “Did you kiss her?” Beau had it so bad she got jealous of the Hag. Jealous of a fucking monster. Then ep94. Beau wanted to climb a tree to get a better look at their surroundings. Out of the blue, Jester smacked Beau’s ass to give her Guidance. She shot up the tree like a rocket and Jester was impressed. Marisha had to make it a point to say, “She thinks it’s the Traveler. It’s just ‘cause Jester smacked my ass though. I’m just very invigorated by THAT.” And of course ep99, with the sunburn compliment.

Marisha was definitely keeping this thing going, all the way up until the hiatus.

So why the weird answers? Why the vagueness? Why does she seem so insistent on driving home to the viewers that Beau’s feelings were/are no big deal. Does she think that talking about Beau’s feelings to the fullest and reminiscing (like Liam did) on a few of their moments would be some sort of insult to BY?

I will never stop being baffled.

#op #campaign wrap up bullshit #long post

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avalinegray · 4 years ago

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Ok this is a lot, but I have a lot of questions so bear with me.

Empty kept popping up with Lucien. He kept saying empty, which is how Molly got his name and everything, and I think Lucien kept that empty feeling all of his shattered soul felt when it was dispersed. He also defines Vess as more selfish than he is, which is really not saying much, Vess is a low bar, but it shows how he thinks of himself. We haven't really had a lot of conversation, so take this with a grain of salt as it is only my first impression, but the Nein brought up the possibility that he knows nothing. I don't think he knows nothing, per say, but I don't think he knows as much as he wants to. He is confident, yet still overcompensating, which would lead me to believe that he is out of the loop on some things. He is proud, because he defines himself as a student, and seems comfortable with that, however, for someone which as much of a flair for the dramatic as he does, he has to be repressing some negative emotion. He clearly is imortal, which comes with a whole host of information, so I'm going to speed run. 1) He understands people, enough so to manipulate them, or rather force their hands, but 2) he doesn't care that much about their emotions. They are fleeting, useful, but soon will be useless. 3) He is uncomfortable around people he is not in a hive mind with. He likes knowing everything at once 4) He doesn't give a damn about Molly, he was a mistake in a larger scheme. Yet! keep in mind that is a two-way street that Molly walks. And finally, 5) he changes bodies, according to himself. What does that mean? No idea. Maybe he's like a hermit crab

I am torn about the betrayer gods. On one hand, 9 gods, 9 everything, on the other, Matt had to check. Which, totally could be a red herring, but, it also could be real.

So Lucien was fragmented, and because Molly stuck around, he grew, from this fragment into something that was starting to become a whole person. He lived life so fully, that no one could help but give him more, yet when he died, when he was re-joined with Lucien, that growth had to be cut back down into what he was when he was born? Created? Whatever the hell happend. What he was made of is now again in Lucien, but I think that the growth Molly had, the person they loved, he’s gone, in most every sence. I imagine death to be like returning to a sky full of stars, but Molly joined that sky, then was pulled back life in a way just as unnatural as his becoming. Lucien doesn’t give a damn about Molly, but Molly didn’t give a damn about Lucien. However much the Nein are disturbed by how little he cares, it is a 2-way street

Also, I just want to acknowledge the amazing representation battling a piece of glitter is for dnd, just perfect in every way.

The fjorjester this episode was strong, and though I haven’t shipped it that much in the past, Laura has convinced me to change my ways. Fjord just talks to her like she’s everything, and I love it so much.

Also, like, moment of silence for Dagan’s sanity. I mean, the glitter/turtle/giant murder worm, the whole thing with Vess, which I totally saw coming, and was hyped when it happend. Just a quality episode today, with a lot of questions.

"The world is behind us, just waiting for us to return." - Caleb (116)

#fjorjester #caleb widogast #mollymauk tealeaf #lucien #critical role #CR #cr spoilers #cr ep 116 #critical role spoilers

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diaryofabeautyfiend · 4 years ago

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Small Time Witch (18)

The compound was quiet except for the constant hum of fluorescent. The five of you walked in like children in trouble for missing curfew. You and Wanda held hands, passing each other secret messages. For once she was the bundle of nerves. You were calm. Chillingly calm. You ran your thumb over her knuckles and squeezed every now and then. She squeezed back holding on to you for dear life. She didn’t know why her stomach was in knots but it was.

Bucky and Sam stalked around the room on kittens feet. They checked around corners and opened doors. Sam thought about an episode of Scooby Doo that always creeped him out. The gang was in an old factory searching by flashlight when an idle machine kicked on. Like it was on cue the elevator dinged. He nearly jumped out of his skin. Off walked Tony who seemed to be just as startled. “Why are you guys creeping around? We have to get going.”

Bucky and Steve looked tense. All stiff with their brows furrowed and nostrils flared. Their fists were clenched ready to fight. You held Bucky’s right hand to calm him down. When you tried to grab Steve’s hand he pulled it away. On the long ride back you and Steve sat in the back seat while Sam drove. You rested your head on his chest. He held you lazily not really reciprocating the need to touch. He looked out of the window mostly. Deep in thought. Perhaps he had noticed your bracelet back on your wrist. Perhaps he noticed your kiss swollen lips. Maybe it was the tears shimmering in your eyes and the look of longing on your face that he knew were not for him. Perhaps he knew you had made your choice in the beautiful house built in the glen. Perhaps you didn’t even know that you had. For the first time it wasn’t him. No. He didn’t want to be calm now. He needed his adrenaline rushing and his senses heightened. Maybe after this you wouldn’t choose him but he knew in his heart you loved him. More than anything he knew in his heart how much he loved you.

“Looking for you, boss.” you said, sarcasm tinting your voice.

“Well you found me.” Something icy cold passed between you and Tony. He had one finger on the trigger and he was itching to squeeze. Your confidence was making him edgy. He wasn’t scaring you but he knew you knew something was happening. That’s ok. When you didn’t have your man protecting you he bet you would adjust your attitude.

“Ok. If you two strapping men can help load a few things on the jet I would appreciate it. I’m running point on this one.” Steve and Bucky reluctantly left to help Clint. Tony looked at you over his glasses, “You’re with me, Sunshine.”

Sam followed the two of you towards the door, “You flying separate?”

“Yeah. Two teams. Rhodes and Romanoff are already on board. We’ll see you in Juneau.” You followed behind Tony trying to match his long strides. He was clearly trying to get you out of there before Steve got back inside. Sam and Wanda took off running to the airstrip.

“Cap! Y/N went on a separate aircraft with Tony Rhodes and Romanoff. I couldn’t stall him without raising an eyebrow, man. I’m sorry.”

Steve dropped the box he was holding and ran to the runway where you were taking off. Your plane was already in the air. “Barton! Clint! We gotta go.”

“Sorry, Steve. I can’t fly that plane.”

“What?! Why not?”

“I have direct orders to keep you here for as long as possible.”

“I can fly the Quinjet, Steve.” Bucky could no longer hide his anger. He wanted to stomp Clint into the ground.

Clint puffed up his chest and took a few deep breaths. “Hit me. Make it look real.”

“What?” Steve was so scared for you that he couldn’t comprehend words.

“If that was Laura I would kill anyone who laid a hand on her. Flight plan is already loaded onto the gps. Hit me, Steve. I have to make it look like I put up a fight.” Without thinking Bucky cocked back his right hand and smashed it into Clint’s eye. He stumbled back and fell towards the ground. Wanda used her powers to get him down gently. They all got oh the Quinjet and prepared to take off.

☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️

Everyone on the plane looked relaxed but they were all on edge. Nat sat next to Rhodey. Neither of them made eye contact with you. You sat down in a row of seats by yourself. This looked like a luxury aircraft but you were certain Tony tricked it out. You looked out the window watching New York disappear. This may be the last time you’d see it. The whole place was a sea of glittering lights all glorious in their gaudiness. You ran your fingers over the emeralds on your bracelet hoping Loki followed your instructions.

Tony came over with a glass of water and your pill bottle. “Isn’t it time to take your meds?” He fished one out and handed it to you. “Take it here. Show daddy like a good girl.” You lifted the glass to your lips maintaining eye contact with him the whole time. You lifted your tongue and fish hooked your cheeks. “Thank you, dear.” Once he walked away you quickly reached in your bag to grab your tablets. You popped two and hoped for the best.

A few minutes later Fury was sitting across from you. “I love flying at night,” you said as if you were in the middle of a conversation with him already. “The sky looks navy blue at this hour. We’re chasing the sunset. What can I do for you, Director?” He regarded you with the same slightly annoyed look he always had on his face.

“Where did I mess up?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes you do. I’m curious. When did you know?”

You smiled with a glint in your eye he’s never seen before. Your whole demeanor changed. “I only suspected your involvement in my family’s deaths at first. You were very convincing. It was when you put me up in the condo that I was really sure. You must have wanted me desperately to shower me with such riches.”

“Mmmm. I see. And you accepted freely.”

“I did. I wish I could be ashamed but I’m not. I mean, I got free tactical training with SHIELD. The Avengers trained me in hand to hand and on weapons. Then you had me training with some of the best sorcerers on the planet. Where you really fucked up though was not doing your own research. You see, I have an eidetic memory. A simple search of my school records would have told you that. I have memorized all of Natasha’s fight patterns and every spell Strange taught me. Which, by the way, he was teaching me defensive strategies not control tactics. I know all of the weaknesses in Tony’s suits. I’m also not afraid of tearing the Arch Reactor out of his chest. Did you know I was a conduit before my involvement with the Avengers?”

He sighed, “No. It wasn’t until your final test at the compound. Romanoff told me what you were.”

“Fascinating you didn’t hear that from Loki. He was your biggest mistake. You also didn’t factor in Strange. That’s why you rushed to the compound. You wanted to get to me before he did.”

“Well you’ve seemed to figure it all out.”

“Not everything. Why am I really going to Alaska? Who do you want there? Since I’m about to die I have a right to know why”

“Franklin Richards. He’s being held there. At the moment he’s unconscious. You need to take him out.”

“Susan and Reed’s son? You want me to absorb his powers. So this isn’t a Hydra base.”

“Oh no. It is. Senator Stern arranged for you to have access to Franklin. He and Senator Kelly have joined forces to create this encampment. Their motives are similar.”

“Ah. No more mutants.”

“That was Kelly’s idea at first. He’s seen the light and agreed to use mutants to our advantage. Franklin is too powerful. We need you to remove his power.”

“And I’m sure you know how powerful Franklin is even at his young age. I’m also sure you know now that I can’t absorb a power from a living person.”

“Minor issue. Easily fixed.”

“I’m not going to kill that boy. I will stand back and watch when Reed and Susan get their hands on you.” You laughed and sipped your water.

“You will do as we ask. I’m not in the habit of making requests.” He got up from his seat and went back up to talk to Tony. You blew out a deep breath. Every cell in your body was reaching out to Wanda and Loki. If they were close enough to you Wanda could hear your cries.

Someone else entirely heard you this time. Scott ran to Jean when he heard her talking incoherently. “Jean! You ok?”

“It’s Y/N. She’s in trouble.”

“We are ahead of them. We’ll be there before they land. Susan and Reed are meeting us there as well. Don’t worry. We’ll get to them.”

Jean reached her mind to yours, “We’re on our way, Y/N. We’re coming to help.” You heard her voice and calmed down. Fury wouldn’t know what hit him.

#steve rogers fanfic #captain america x reader #marvel witches #mcu x reader #loki laufeyson #loki x reader #marvel #steve rogers x reader #captain america smut #x men x reader #xmen #wolverine #jean gray #cyclops #wade wilson #deadpool

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kissjane · 4 years ago

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WORRY SHARED IS WORRY HALVED / Short fic

For the anonymous Davenzi shipper who prompted me the line “I love you so much it scares me” - I’m sorry it’s a bit short on the tooth-rotting fluff, but I’ll add that to the next story, okay?

#32 from this prompt list.

A soft smile before leaning in for a kiss

David carried the last box upstairs, to his new flat – his and Matteo’s. He’d had butterflies in his stomach all week, knowing they were really going to live together. But now, now that it was actually happening, now their friends had left and it was just Matteo and him in their tiny apartment, the butterflies had morphed into a horde of angrily buzzing wasps, and David was – frightened.

It was not that he regretted moving in with Matteo, per se – it was just that he suddenly worried about being too dependent on Matteo. A few months ago, he had been convinced he would spend his life detached from everything and everybody, not getting involved, not letting anybody come close enough to see the real David. And then Matteo had come into his life, and David couldn’t help but let him in.

As he reached his new front door, Matteo was standing there, leaning against the doorpost, smiling widely. He took the heavy box from David, and put it down haphazardly against the wall.

“Our new home,” Matteo said happily, pulling David against him and snaking his arms around David’s waist, “I’m so happy to do this with you. I love you.”

David loved this Matteo, so unrestrainedly joyful, his eyes shining with excitement, and he wanted to keep Matteo exactly this happy every day – but the wasps’ buzzing kept getting louder, and he felt nauseous, and suddenly all he could do was to sink on his knees, next to the box Matteo just put down, and start sobbing violently.

It took less than a second for Matteo to kneel next to him, tugging David closer, one hand on his back, the other gliding through David’s hair in long, calming strokes.

“Hey,” he murmured, his voice tinged with concern, “what’s up? Do you regret doing this so fast? Do you wanna take it slow, maybe go sleep over at Laura’s tonight? We don’t have to go through with this if it’s not what you want.”

“No!”, David almost yelled, pulling back so he could look Matteo in the eyes. “No, that’s not – I mean, I do want to live with you. It’s just… It’s just that I love you so much it scares me.”

A sigh of relief escaped Matteo at David’s words, but he knitted his brows together when David finished his sentence.

“It scares you? Why?”

David tried to get his thoughts together, so he could explain to Matteo. Matteo didn’t push him, just held him, and waited patiently for David to answer. The wasps seemed to subdue a little bit, but they didn’t disappear, and David tried to concentrate on the blue of Matteo’s eyes instead.

“It scares me to need you so much. I couldn’t go on if you ever left, Matteo, and that’s frightening. I had to learn to look out for myself, not to depend on people, and then you came and you challenged all that. I thought being alone wasn’t bad, but now the idea is paralyzing. I can’t go on without you anymore, and – and that’s scary. It’s scary to realize you could destroy me if you’d choose to. You have so much power over me, you could decide to take away your love at any point, and I’d have no other option than to accept it, but – but it’d kill me, it really would…”

“Shhhh,” Matteo interrupted. He pulled David close against him again, uncaring about the tears and the snot on David’s face.

They sat like that for a few minutes, David’s sobs ebbing away slowly, and Matteo just holding him.

Then Matteo pulled back a bit, cradling David’s face between his hands, and smiling at him.

“David,” he started, “David, don’t you know I feel the same about you? If I was afraid of being alone before, it’s so much worse now that I know what it’s like to belong to somebody. You could destroy me too, but I try not to think about that. I try to think about the fact that you could also build me up. Because you do, every single day, you give me strength and courage to reach out for my dreams.”

David closed his eyes. He wanted to believe Matteo so badly, but the wasps didn’t agree.

“But then… Why are you not afraid, then?”, he whispered, his voice small and halting.

“I am, sometimes,” Matteo replied with brutal honesty. “But I refuse to give in to it, just like that, without a fight. Maybe one day you’ll realize you could do so much better than me, and I won’t be able to hold on to you. There will be time enough to crumble if and when that happens. There’s no point in letting that ruin things right now.”

David sniffed and wiped over his eyes. He stared at Matteo, trying to lose himself in his boyfriend’s beautiful eyes, but he didn’t reply.

“I just have to hope you will stay,” Matteo breathed, so softly David had to strain to hear. The vulnerability in Matteo’s voice tugged at his heartstrings. “Because yes, it’d annihilate me if you left. But also, because I am so much better with you. You lift me up and I want to do the same for you. And I don’t intend to ever let that slip away from me, David, I’m holding on to you with everything I have, for as long as I possibly can.”

He smiled at David, and it was as if somebody turned on the sun. And in an instant, the wasps vanished, and David wasn’t crippled by fear anymore, but instead, he felt invincible. Matteo was smiling brighter than all the lights in Berlin combined, and it was because of David. David made Matteo happy enough to make him smile like that. Nobody else could have done that, nobody else made Matteo feel like that, nobody else loved Matteo the way David did – and Matteo didn’t love anybody else like he loved David. It was incredibly empowering, to know he made Matteo feel delighted and loved and ready to take on whatever life would throw at them. Suddenly, the horde of wasps seemed stupid and silly, insignificant and weak, nothing like the monster David’s mind had made it out to be. And he felt a smile appear on his own face, mirroring Matteo’s. Matteo’s smile was so soft, so tender, and David leaned into him to kiss him.

Matteo complied immediately, contentedly, and when they resurfaced for air, David had completely forgotten about his fears. Yes, Matteo could leave. But he could also stay, and as long as they were together, nothing was impossible.

“Feeling better?”, Matteo asked gingerly, softly, looking at David with so much gentle care in his eyes that David almost toppled over from the force of it.

“Feeling better,” he confirmed, a bit breathless. “Thank you for taking care of me and slaying my monsters for me.”

He laughed at his strange metaphor, but Matteo nodded understandingly.

“You’d do the same for me,” he mumbled, and David realized it was true. He’d kill all of Matteo’s dragons for him, take over all of his burdens, and they wouldn’t even weigh him down, because Matteo’s happiness made everything lighter.

Suddenly, everything was bright and the future laid in front of them like a glittering path full of promises.

He stood up, pulling Matteo along.

“No to taking things slow. No to me sleeping over at Laura’s. I want to celebrate our first night living together. Come on,” he said, impatiently, tugging Matteo to their bedroom. He really liked that word, their. They were in this together. Their flat, their bed, their life. Their fears – and their power to overcome each one of them, together.

#I write things #davenzi #50 cliché prompts #druck fanfic #all the davenzi shipping anons

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wheredidhiseyebrowsgo · 5 years ago

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hey! thank you for everything that you do! you are awesome. im just wondering if you any fic were Stiles is fae? thank you!

We sure do. - Anastasia

till the moon has taken flight (to the waters and the wild) by WindyRein

(5/10 I 1,426 I Not Rated I Steter)

It's not fair! But he knows already that life isn't fair, doesn't he? He can feel the bitter smile curling his lips.He, if there is such a thing anymore, floats and is torn apart and doesn't exist. (but that would be kind, wouldn't it?)

Bloody Secrets by cywscross

(1/1 I 3,085 I Teen I Steter)

Stiles has silver in his veins.

Peter could’ve done without finding out this way though.

Somewhere to Start by Lissadiane

(1/1 I 3,352 I Teen I Sterek)

Stiles has always known that he isn't quite human - the plant life that tends to sprout around him whenever he gets upset or excited gives it away. He's never really fit in among the regular people in Beacon Hills and is determined to wait it out, go to college, and find somewhere to belong. He's forced to abandon those plans, however, after he desperately agrees to enter into an arranged marriage to save his father's life.

An arranged marriage with an angry, sometimes furry dude with trust issues. It's all very Beauty and the Beast, without the singing candlesticks.

Dance Under the Moonlight by Therapeutic_Steter

(2/2 I 3,440 I Mature I Steter)

Fae!Stiles saving Peter from Pack's stupidity and washing his hands of them. Please?

The Other Side by Green

(1/1 I 3,769 I Explicit I Steter)

Stiles doesn't know anything about his father, only what his mother told him, that he's human. Despite her words, Stiles has had his doubts. So when the queen sends him through the veil, he's nervous and isn't sure what to think.

Seven Years Falling by InfiniteAlexisA

(1/1 I 3,880 I Not Rated I Sterek)

“I don’t mean to!” Derek yelled throwing his hands in the air.“DON’T YELL AT ME!” Stiles screeched, his entire body going up in flames.This is what Derek gets for dating a fire elemental.

we're not so different (you and i) by colferstilinski

(1/1 I 5,621 I Explicit I Sterek)

For many of the fairies that lives here, Utopia is their sanctuary—haven, in other words—and why shouldn't it be? It never rains on this stretch of meadow, the clouds in the skies always pink with interest and it smells like the breaking of spring every dawn and dusk.

Stiles detest it, the least to say.

It’s too much and he hates swinging along with the status quo with the other fairies. Yeah, with their blooming shades of colours and the shimmering, silken tunics they don on and fuck, the limitless sparkles. There’s even a new trend going on with the younger generation where they gather allium blooms to form a flower crown, oh—with added glitter!—and it makes Stiles wants to roll his eyes.

Or the fic in which Stiles is a fairy and wants to escape the horrendous, boring world of fairyland to have an adventure. And by adventure, he means meeting Derek. The plant. Or... not-so plant.

Cold Iron by the_problem_with_stardust

(5/5 I 5,641 I Teen I Sterek)

Derek thought the disaster that ended with Kate Argent almost burning down his family home was a relationship worst-case scenario. So, when Dr. Deaton reveals that his current girlfriend is not what she seems, Derek is ready to swear off romance forever. In an attempt to escape his well-meaning (but insanely overbearing) family, Derek volunteers to take over remodeling the small cottage that was left to the Hale siblings in his grandmother’s will. Connemara is nothing like California, and Derek feels like his luck just might be looking up.

salt and a waltz by The Byger (Byacolate)

(1/1 I 7,433 I Explicit i Sterek)

"Not that lubed-up Q-tips aren’t the sexiest thing in the world, but I kinda want to know what it’s like, you know. To be impaled on your huge dick without actually being impaled.”

“It was about to get sexy there, but you shot the mood right in the face.”

In which Stiles is a faerie and Derek is sick and tired of not being able to fuck him.

Don't You Wanna Be My Sky? by WhoNatural

(1/1 I 9,420 I General I Sterek)

Stiles got ratted out by the Realm Guard for sneaking off with Scott a total of seven times before his dad buckled, promising sabbatical once Stiles reached Faehood, and enough Earth culture in the meantime to have him talking like a born-and-bred Californian teenager.

He just didn’t have the tan.

(Or, in which Stiles is a Frost Fae sent to the Earth Realm on the Fae version of Rumspringa and immediately falls head-first into a Coffee Shop AU)

No Love in Idleness by Elpie (Horribibble)

(2/2 I 11,687 I Explicit I Sterek)

Stiles is the sole grandchild of none other than Robin Goodfellow, the most mischievous faerie ever to wreak havoc among the Folk and Man alike. To the people of Beacon Court, he is at best a merry wanderer of the night.

At first, Ser Derek is inclined to agree, but the little bird on his shoulder has quite a bit to say about that.

Trees are always a relief after dealing with people (except when they aren't) by ravelqueen

(1/1 I 15,889 I Mature I Sterek)

Derek Hale decides to become a hermit before he reaches 25. Too bad he picked Beacon Hills as his retirement home.

(Or the one where Stiles is a wood nymph/pixie/human hybrid who falls in love with his new grumpy werewolf neighbour)

Broken People Get Recycled by poemwithnorhyme

(1/1 I 16,389 I General i Sterek)

Nothing is ever just calm in Beacon Hills. No, something always has to go wrong, and this time, it's Stiles' turn in the spotlight. That doesn't mean he has to like it. Post S2 AUFae!Stiles

The Magic's in the Coffee by xxxillusionxxx

(8/8 I 17,596 I Explicit I Sterek)

Ever since the tall, muscled, leather-clad werewolf had begun his daily coffee routine at the Skullery—a horrendous name in Stiles’s opinion, but his boss was a skeleton who thought he was terribly clever—an impromptu competition developed among the baristas.

When Trust is Everything by hellbells

(12/12 I 27,913 I Teen i Sterek)

For a secret to remain true then only one person can know it; if not then it will come out. Beacon Hills is the converging point of several secrets all wrapped up in the supernatural. For Stiles, the unravelling of several will let him find peace, love and safety in the arms of his true mate. The only question is can he trust a Sourwolf and his pack well enough to show his true self.

It just might be the one thing between Beacon Hills and safety!

(Or observe the really awkward distrustful courtship between a Sourwolf and a hidden Fae Mage)

A Little Bit of Sunshine by 100KlicksAway

(21/? I 29,600 I Mature I Sterek)

Stiles woke with a start, dreams of pixies flitting around his head. He’d dreamed… He’d dreamed that he was a wolf? Or…. He wasn’t sure. Something with fangs… His mouth had been dripping blood in his dream, and when he woke, he could still taste the thick copper taste coating his mouth.

Stiles has been working hard for the pack since Scott was bitten. They leave him out more and more frequently, though, until Stiles realizes that he's strictly unnecessary. Then, the pack's activities throw him into danger and he ends up in a shitty situation with no one helping him.

Stiles leaves Beacon Hills. He doesn't care anymore, he just... Needs out.

The Last Chills of Winter by LeeHan

(1/1 I 42,525 I Explicit I Sterek)

“He didn’t magically charm me,” Derek shot back in his defense.“Oh, so he just regular charmed you?” Laura said with a smirk.“What? No,” Derek growled.“Was he hot?”“No! He just—“ He just had a laugh like a sun shower. Fuck.

We Follow Darkness Like a Dream by GreenasCole

(10/10 I 51,106 I Mature I Sterek)

When a mysterious note is left on the Stilinski's door it leads Stiles and his best friend Scott out into the woods on quest for answers about Beacon Hills's most infamous tragedy. After a surprise encounter with a monstrous wolf the two boys are hurled into an ancient and terrifying world, only for Stiles to discover he was secretly a part of it all along. Will he manage to survive the insanity of Fae politics and avoid the enemies that are suddenly crawling out of the woodwork to find a place in this new world? Or will the very revelation of his existence be the catalyst that plunges both worlds into war and chaos? And why can't Scott just stop teasing him every time he catches Stiles looking at their new "friend" Derek too long?

Laughter in the Dark by Starshaker

(13/? I 56,148 I Mature I Sterek)

Stiles is a fae. A trickster spirit with too much curiosity for his own good and a knack for getting into trouble. When he's just trying to help things don't go to plan and coincidences don't seem to end up for the better.Trapped, isolated and aching to get home, though it's better than what Gerard would have had planned for him initially, Stiles learns to deal with his new set of circumstances.

The Fairy's Wolf by kuki

(57/? I 90,602 I Explicit I Sciles)

In a world where non-humans mingle with humans in public schools until they became of age, about high school age, going instead to a specialty finishing school, a young halfling fae fights to stay with his friends. His fear of losing touch with his best friend, a young Alpha werewolf, has the pair pushing their relationship to the edge; and their relationship has the world on the brink of war.

-or-where I apparently ship Skittles hard now, hate myself with this work load on top of my school work, switch up species because f-u that's why, make up mythology, and try to give Derek a nice life.

Where You Still Remember Dreaming by yodasyoyo

(15/15 I 95,612 I Explicit I Sterek)

“What’s your name? I can’t keep calling you Balto.”

“What’s yours?”

“Stiles.”

Derek raises an eyebrow. That isn’t his real name. There’s no way. But now he thinks about it, he has a vague memory of someone, probably Uncle Peter, telling him that with the fae, names have power. “I’m Miguel,” he says.

“Lie.”

“Are you trying to tell me your real name is Stiles?”

Stiles runs his tongue across his teeth and considers Derek carefully. “Fair enough,” he says, “Miguel it is.”

Grabbing his groceries and pocketing the change, Derek turns to leave; he’s nearly at the door when Stiles calls out, “By the way, Miguel, if you’re interested, it’s two for one on bags of kibble at the pet store down the street.”

Derek doesn’t look back, doesn’t hesitate, just raises a hand and flips him off on the way out.

#teen wolf #sterek #sciles #steter #stiles stilinski #peter hale #scott mccall #derek hale #fae!stiles

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tabloidtoc · 5 years ago

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OK, June 1

Cover: Jennifer Aniston Finally Talks -- her fresh start at 51

Page 1: Big Pic -- Shia LaBeouf took a spin around his Pasadena neighborhood with his adorable pooch in tow

Page 2: Contents

Page 3: Contents

Page 4: Royal Shake-Up -- a shocking report leads to whispers that Queen Elizabeth may soon be stepping away from her duties for good -- thankfully the Queen has Prince William and Duchess Kate Middleton to lean on and they call her every day and are always offering to step in and take any stressful duties off her hands and the queen doesn’t know what she’d do without them

Page 6: From the outside Reese Witherspoon seems to have a picture-perfect life but the multifaceted star admits her days are a balancing act and anything but easy

Page 7: It seems as if Kristin Cavallari has been on a smear campaign against estranged husband Jay Cutler as their messy divorce plays out -- she’s consumed by rage and resentment toward him mainly out of fear that he’ll come across as looking like the good guy while she’s painted as power- and money-hungry, after years of estrangement the coronavirus pandemic has pushed Bella Cruise to reach out to mom Nicole Kidman -- Nicole knows Bella will never leave Scientology and she’d never ask her to and they’ve been making up for lost time and speak most days and Bella’s agreed to travel to Tennessee and stay at Nicole’s sprawling country estate once it’s safe to travel, Scott Disick is turning to Kris Jenner as he figures out his next move after he fled rehab after the news leaked -- Scott feels more vulnerable than ever and he’s at a crucial stage in his life and he respects Kris enormously not only as a business partner but as a makeshift therapist and mother figure

Page 8: Jamie Lynn Spears is begging older sis Britney Spears to move back to Louisiana and Jamie Lynn would love for her daughters to spend more time with their aunt and wants them together as one big happy family in Kentwood where it all began, Chris Pratt and pregnant Katherine Schwarzenegger are feeling a bit overwhelmed by her parents as they await their baby’s arrival -- Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger are excited at their first grandchild but they’ve become very pushy -- Maria’s insisting on planning a huge baby shower and decorating the nursery and Arnold is trying to install a new sound system so they can play lullabies in every corner of the house and it’s enough to make Chris and Katherine wince, Tom Cruise is making it his mission to reclaim his title as the King of Hollywood -- he’s bided his time for years now because he wanted to take the pressure of himself until he found just the right moment to go for it and now he’s ready to catapult himself onto the scene with Mission: Impossible 7 and 8 and the sequel to Top Gun and he’s working with NASA and Elon Musk’s SpaceX to shoot the first ever movie in outer space

Page 10: Red Hot on the Red Carpet -- peach gowns -- Zoe Kravitz, Karolina Kurkova, Adrienne Houghton

Page 11: Betty Gilpin, Lizzy Caplan, Joey King

Page 12: Who Wore It Better? Becca Tilley vs. Brooke Burke (it’s a tie), Cheryl Burke vs. Jennifer Lahmers

Page 14: News in Photos -- Hailey Bieber in the sauna

Page 15: Michael C. Hall in glitter face paint, Kate Upton works out with daughter Genevieve, Olivia Munn with two pups, Christie Brinkley in the fickle weather in the Hamptons

Page 16: Hilary Duff on Mother’s Day, Anna Kendrick all dressed up for a virtual press conference, Kevin Hart and wife Eniko revealed they are having a daughter in a pic with kids Kenzo and Heaven and Hendrix, Naomi Watts on TikTok with Liev Schreiber and their kids Sasha and Kai

Page 17: Mindy Kaling doing laundry, Cardi B shows off her Mother’s Day gifts from husband Offset

Page 18: Reese Witherspoon with son Tennessee climbing a tree, Nicole Kidman studying Italian while stuck at home, Gabrielle Union and daughter Kaavia

Page 19: Jason Momoa encouraged fans to support local small businesses as he picked up dinner from the Old Place in Cornell, Paris Jackson inked a tattoo on her own pinky toe, Suki Waterhouse showed off her perfectly coiffed locks

Page 20: Tobey Maguire and girlfriend Tatiana Dieteman take a stroll, Ariel Winter was spotted with a cast on her thumb after slicing the tip off in a cooking accident, Emilia Clarke and dog Ted

Page 21: Ryan Phillippe on a run, Katy Perry and her dog Nugget dress up as Dumbo

Page 22: Brody Jenner on a bike ride, Tallulah Willis and mom Demi Moore on Mother’s Day, Julianne Hough as Mary Poppins

Page 23: Taylor Swift drinking white wine while isolating at home, Ali Larter on a run

Page 24: Inside My Home -- the Hadid’s flourishing farm -- where Yolanda Hadid is isolating with kids Bella Hadid, pregnant Gigi Hadid and Anwar Hadid in Hope, Pennsylvania

Page 26: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West marriage in crisis -- after months in quarantine Kim and Kanye are on the verge of a lockdown throwdown because when it comes to their four kids North and Saint and Chicago and Psalm most of the parenting and homeschooling has fallen on Kim’s shoulders while Kanye has been spending a ton of time at his office rather than at home

Page 27: Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied are planning to renew their vows this winter when December will mark a decade since their engagement, when Cara Delevingne and Ashley Benson called it quits after two years of dating it seemed drama-free but now members of their social circle are being dragged into the pair’s personal problems -- now that they’re not together they’re drawing clear boundaries and demanding their friends like Kaia Gerber and Margaret Qualley take sides using the line it’s her or me, Courteney Cox has been quarantining in L.A. while boyfriend Johnny McDaid has been in England and once they’re able to reunite Courteney is adamant that they tie the knot right away because this has been a lesson learned and she’s kicking herself for not marrying Johnny sooner

Page 28: Joshua Jackson and wife Jodie Turner-Smith are walking on air as they settle into their new roles as parents to a baby girl, just eight months into their romance Jonathan Scott believes he’s found the one in Zooey Deschanel but his friends are urging him to pump the brakes because Zooey is twice-divorced and basically walked out of her second marriage and right into Jonathan’s life plus she also has two children so Jonathan would be taking on an awful lot so soon, Love Bites -- Ben Platt and Noah Galvin new couple, America Ferrera and Ryan Piers Williams welcomed a daughter, Mary-Kate Olsen and Olivier Sarkozy split

Page 29: On Justin and Hailey Bieber’s Facebook Watch show he stated that he and wife Hailey are in the best place they’ve ever been but he’s the first to admit that becoming a husband forced him to take a hard look at himself, Ben Affleck is sparing no expense when it comes to showering girlfriend Ana de Armas with affection

Page 30: Cover Story -- Jennifer Aniston comes clean -- from the state of her dating life to the truth about her famous exes Jen plans to answer everything in a new tell-all interview

Page 33: How Jennifer Aniston is helping Matthew Perry get through his recent troubles

Page 34: Baby Bump Brigade -- Ashlee Simpson, Katy Perry

Page 35: Gigi Hadid, Katherine Schwarzenegger, Lea Michele

Page 36: How Julia Roberts saved her marriage -- inside her decision to step away from the spotlight and fix her relationship with Danny Moder

Page 38: Beverly Hills 90210 secrets and scandals

Page 40: Candace Cameron Bure Family Matters -- the actress gets candid about her kids, her marriage and her decades long career

Page 46: Style Week -- Bebe Rexha latest collaboration with the popular drugstore nail polish line Sinful Colors

Page 48: Style -- beaded bags -- Bailee Madison

Page 50: Espadrilles -- Selena Gomez

Page 54: Entertainment

Page 58: Stars are getting creative with their hair while stuck at home -- Julianne Hough, Pink, Kristen Stewart

Page 59: Blake Shelton, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Tallulah Willis, Lauren Burnham and Arie Luyendyk, Armie Hammer, Dua Lipa

Page 60: Sound Bites -- Miley Cyrus on interviewing Elizabeth Warren, Ashton Kutcher on Mila Kunis, Laura Dern on trying new things, Anna Kendrick on switching up her exercise routine, John Mellencamp texting daughter Teddi Mellencamp while watching her on RHOBH

Page 61: Hollywood Heat Meter -- Hilary Duff is set to reprise her Younger character in a spinoff, Lily Allen and David Harbour engaged, Alison Roman apologized to Chrissy Teigen, Hannah Brown should have listened to her gut about Jed Wyatt, Vera Wang shows off her killer abs, the bombshells Vanderpump Rules editor Bri Dellinger just unleashed about the reality show

Page 62: Horoscope -- Gemini Lenny Kravitz

Page 64: By the Numbers -- Trevor Noah

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paceypeternathanslawyer · 5 years ago

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Top 10 Favorite Female Characters (In no particular order)

Who else is feeling emo in this Chilis tonight, thinking about all the amazing female characters in television history?

El Hopper (Stranger Things)

Here is a girl who has been through more than anyone could imagine and yet she’s so kind and sweet. She’s so strong, tough, and fiercely loyal to those who show her kindness.

Anne Shirley (Anne With An E)

Much like El, Anne is a young woman who has been through so much abuse and shit in her childhood and made it to the other side tough but also is such a good person. She has a strong love for justice. I grew so much respect for her after seeing the kindness she showed to Josie Pye in S3. Josie is a girl who treated her horribly when she arrived in Avonlea and consistently called her trash. And yet when Josie is sexually abused, Anne goes to bat for her and confronts Billy. She calls Josie a friend and stands up for her. That’s just Anne though, she stands up for what she believes is right and I extremely respect that.

Lorelai Gilmore (Gilmore Girls)

How could you not love this dynamic and hilarious woman. She’s strong, snarky, and an amazing mother. She’s not perfect, but her flaws make her so interesting on top of everything else. Plus she loves snow, so that puts her high up in my book. No one is as smart and quick witted as her. Only Lorelai could make a whole ass town love her and unofficially make her queen. ;) <3

Annie Edison (Community)

I feel bad for not having as much to say about Annie. I think that Annie is underrated in the Community fandom. She’s extremely determined. Alison Brie brings such an endearing quality to her as well.

Joyce Byers (Stranger Things)

Joyce is the mother that I aspire to be... along with Lorelai Gilmore :) Joyce is determined and is a force of nature. She loves her children so much and would do absolutely anthing for them. When she’s around other people she can be extremely tough and say it how it is, but when she’s around Will and Jonathan, this calming maternal attitude comes out.

Paris Geller (Gilmore Girls)

Paris is a tidal wave in human form. There’s no other way I can describe her :) The most driven person and a loyal friend when she wants to be! ;)

Lois Lane (Smallville)

Lois brought some a fun dynamic to Smallville, prior to her first appearance it was reeeaaallyy sacharine. Lois brought a bite and snark that the show desperately needed. Lois is funny, driven, and again a force of nature. Smallville truly would be nothing without her.

Jess Day (New Girl)

Jess freaking Day!! I love it when women on television are unapologetically feminine. A woman should be able to love glitter and pretty dresses without having to apologize. It takes all kinds of women. I love that Jess is always genuine and never changes who she is. Toughness and femininity can coexist.

Midge Maisel (The Marvelous Mrs Maisel)

A woman who left behind her trash, aspiring comedian husband. She then goes into comedy herself and blows away her trash husband in terms of talent. Midge is yet another amazing Amy Sherman Palladino female heroine and she deserves so much.

Millie Helper (The Dick Van Dyke Show)

Millie did not get enough airtime in this show, but whenever she is in a scene, she steals it. Ann Morgan Guilbert is an amazing comedic actress. Millie and Laura’s friendship is one of my favorite parts of TDVDS as well.

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cssns · 6 years ago

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Event Roundup Time!!!!

I am SOOOOOOO sorry y’all!!! I completely forgot to do an event roundup!!! Please forgive me!!! Fanmail from @killianjones4ever82 brought it to my attention and I’m so glad she did! We had an incredible summer and we need to have a post that can be easily accessed with all the fabulous fics and gorgeous artwork that dropped for the event! So without further ado, here we go!!!!

Under the cut, because this is gonna be a LOOOOOOONG post!!!

Here is a link to the entire collection of fics on ao3.

@welllpthisishappening opened us up this year with her first fic for the event, All the Subliminal Things. Rated T with four chapters. COMPLETE. Artwork by @resident-of-storybrooke.

Emma Swan does not believe in soulmates.

Or so she says. Because if her soulmate did, actually, exist, he should have shown up by now. So, she must be a fluke, a broken cog in a system that really doesn't make much sense anyway. It is, she figures, why she agrees to meet David's friend before Regina and Robin's wedding. This guy doesn't believe in soulmates either.

She's intrigued.

Until she hears him talk. And everything flips after that.

At the end of June, Laura posted All Was Golden In the Sky. Rated M and we have five chapters left. Artwork by @resident-of-storybrooke, extra artwork by @distant-rose and @optomisticgirl can be found on Laura’s chapter blog posts.

Magic is dying.

Emma knows it. She can feel it, the emptiness rattling around in her, like it’s trying to make sure she disappears as well. What she doesn’t know is what to do about it, because, suddenly, there is a man in Storybrooke claiming she’s the Savior and a seeress certain a prophecy promises the same and the last thing she expects is for her minimal amount of lingering power to pull her away.

To New York City.

And another oddly familiar man with blue eyes and a smile that sinks under her skin and makes magic bloom in the air around her. Things are about to get interesting.

@darkcolinodonorgasm posted One Day, a LadyHawke AU with artwork by @sherlockianwhovian. Rated T and we are two chapters in.

By day, Emma is the beautiful swan gliding over the waters of Misthaven's pond, but when night falls, the voice of the wolf the people living in the little town hear is Killian's cry. The curse was meant to be forever, to keep them always together yet eternally apart. No force in Heaven would be able to break such spell, nor any force on Earth. Or so Emma and Killian thought.

Towards the end of June Sara posted Hidden Paths Between the Moon and Sun, the sequel to her Hades and Persephone AU, Until the Stars Are All Alight. Artwork by @sherlockianwhovian. Rated M with one of six chapters so far.

The King of the Underworld has never taken a vacation before, not a proper one and not one that lasted more than a few months. Now that his firstborn is capable enough to take the throne ad interim, Killian can finally show his beloved Queen the world, giving her the honeymoon they never had the chance to have. But the King’s plan doesn’t stop quite there.

@allons-y-to-hogwarts-713 posted original art Killian Falls for Siren Emma

Come all you pretty fair maids, whoever you may be

Who love a jolly sailor bold that ploughs the raging sea,

My heart is pierced by Cupid, I disdain all glittering gold, There is nothing can console me but my jolly sailor bold.

and Paranormal Photographers/Reporters.

When you hear the knell of a requiem bell Weird glows gleam where spirits dwell Restless bones etherealize Rise as spooks of every size

@donteattheappleshook posted Just Human Vol2, the sequel to her submission last year, Just, Human. Artwork by 1 2 by @djlbg. Rated M with five chapters. COMPLETE.

A continuation of last years CSSNS story Just Human. Now that Killian is a ghost and Mary Margaret knows everything, what does life have in store for a group of supernatural misfits? With the threat of Gold gone, Emma learns that sometimes just being human is the most complicated challenge of all.

@thislassishooked posted Wake Me Up Inside. Rated M with three chapters so far. Artwork by @tennant-the-tigger.

Killian Jones has lived longer than any man has a right to live. Most would argue that what he was doing was not living, but merely existing. The day he lost the love of his life was the day he lost the will to live, but instead of ending his life he inadvertently became the strongest being on earth and unfortunately indestructible. His mortal enemy followed him into immortality and craves the power only Killian possesses. With his brother by his side and the help of a quirky, blonde hematologist, who makes him question whether he is ready for death after all, he will fight against evil, but more importantly, for the cure.

@let-it-raines posted Not Your (Soul)Mate. Rated M with sixteen chapters. COMPLETE. Artwork 1 2 3 4 5 6 by @captainsjedi.

Killian Jones doesn’t like the idea of soulmates. He sees how happy his friends are with theirs, but he still doesn’t like the idea, not when he’s found love and lost it time and time again only to still not know his sign. He has no markings on his skin, no voices in his head, but then one day he meets Emma Swan and everything changes. Because, well, he may not have ink on his skin to tell him who to love, but the very first time that he hears Emma’s voice he knows that she’s the one for him. Then again, that could simply be his desire talking. After all, for every word she speaks, he becomes aroused.

It’s not the worst thing in the world to be incredibly attracted to a beautiful woman, but things aren’t that simple when she doesn’t have any interest in being his soulmate.

He’s screwed. And not in the good way.

@shireness-says posted A Drowning Soul Will Clutch at Any Straw. Rated T one shot. Artwork by @hollyethecurious.

Though this is far from Killian Jones' first encounter with a mermaid, he's never met any quite like this blonde siren. Together, can they break a cruel curse?

@snowbellewells posted her first fic for the event, Face to Face in the Broad Daylight, her sequel to last years Run to Me (In the Dead of Night) in early July. Rated T with five chapters so far. Artwork by @branlovestowrite.

Here we have a sequel to my werewolf, alternate season two and beyond fic from last year’s CSSNS. You probably want to read that story "Run to Me (in the Dead of Night)" first, or it might be a bit confusing in places. This second story in the same universe partially exists just because I wanted to revisit these couples and enjoy a bit more of their fluffy happily ever afters. However, we may also see them get into some new surprises and challenges, and of course we need to see if Rumplestiltskin is still under control or back to his usual scheming and plotting. I hope you will enjoy.

Marta also posted at the end of July A Story Told at Last. Rated T with three chapters. COMPLETE. Artwork by @branlovestowrite.

Historical Literature Professor Henry Mills has the chance of a lifetime before him. He might finally uncover the truth of a folktale that has intrigued him for years. But, when the whole story comes to light, will he be able to accept the story that needs to be told?

@thejollyroger-writer posted her first fic of three for the event, Love After Death: The Afterlife Hotel. Rated T one shot with artwork by @captainsjedi.

Emma Swan has spent sixty years in the afterlife believing she was never going to meet her real soulmate, after believing in the wrong name tattooed on her wrist. But when she keeps seeing the same new guest of the Afterlife Hotel around, might she be able to learn how to love again?

Megan’s second fic for the event was What Happened in Berkshire. Rated G with two of three chapters posted. Artwork by @captainsjedi.

When Emma’s boyfriend leaves her for the woman he’s been cheating with, she accepts an offer from her hospital to move to England. While she is out celebrating her thirtieth birthday with her friends before they head back to America, she drunkenly kisses the statue of Captain Hook in front of Eton College, and he comes to life. Together, he and Emma try to figure out what this curse means for them by searching for the witch that cursed him in the first place — are they really True Love, as he wants to believe they are, or did Emma’s magic go awry?

Megan’s third fic for the event was Falling Paws Over Heels. Rated T one shot. Artwork by @captainsjedi.

Captain Killian Jones -- the notorious Captain Hook -- has heard all kinds of stories during his travels around all of the realms. But the story that has always interested him the most is that of the enchanting sorceress of Storybrooke, a small town in the Enchanted Forest's Misthaven, the sorceress who takes men to her bed, but will only give her heart to the man who befriends her cat. Will Killian be the one who finally has what it takes?

@gingerchangeling posted Luck of the Irish. Rated M with one chapter of seven so far. Artwork by @resident-of-storybrooke.

Emma needs parent volunteer hours. So she offers to chaperon Henry's upcoming field trip to the museum. Its just a pack of prepubescent angst ridden children, an exhibit about dead people, and a rock used in blood sacrifices with a curse carved into it. What's the worst that could happen?

@jarienn972 posted A Simple Spell. Rated T with six chapters so far. Artwork by @cocohook38.

This story is my entry into the 2019 Captain Swan Supernatural Summer event and is my first venture into AU territory. Storybrooke remains our setting but I've switched up some of the characters and familial relations to better suit this tale of prodigal witch Emma who returns to her birthplace to learn lots of secrets about herself and cast a spell that could change everything.

@profdanglaisstuff posted The Very Witching Time. Rated M with six chapters. COMPLETE. Artwork by @gingerchangeling. Extra artwork by @mariakov81 can be found on Saira’s chapter posts on her blog.

Emma Swan is a hereditary witch, last in a long line of wise women who for centuries have guarded the coast of Maine and the small village of Storybrooke with their homemade cures and their ancient magic. She holds the delicate balance between magic and mundane, but now that balance is threatened by a new foe, one capable of bringing an end to everything Emma is and everything she loves. To defeat it she will need all her power, help from her friends and neighbours, and the loyalty of a very unusual dog who answers to the name of Killian.

@searchingwardrobes gave us the first of two fics for the event, An Education in Southern Gothic. Rated T with two chapters. COMPLETE. Artwork by @hollyethecurious.

Fact: there’s a graveyard between the football field and the science building. Debatable: a ghost haunts the halls of Misthaven Hills High. Emma Swan is about to get an education. Killian Jones is about to get a whole lot more.

Melanie’s second fic was titled Until the Day Breaks and the Shadows Flee. Rated M with eight chapters. COMPLETE. Artwork by @hollyethecurious.

Every night, she traces the contours of his body as Killian whispers words of love against her skin. But can Princess Emma ever be fully happy with a husband who only comes to her in utter darkness? A Captain Swan AU of the Roman myth of Cupid and Psyche.

@spartanguard posted Sick of Love. Rated M with three chapters. COMPLETE. Artwork by @sherlockianwhovian.

If Emma’s not careful, she just might bump into her soulmate. Physically. And while she might like the idea of what comes with that—an almost psychic connection whenever they make skin contact—she’d rather not deal with the awful withdrawal sickness that can come when they inevitably leave her; she’s got a son, so she doesn’t have time for that. So she keeps herself covered and thinks she’ll be okay. Until she meets Killian, who does the same thing. Will their barriers protect them, or just hurt them more?

@snidgetsafan posted Whom the Gods Love Die Young. Rated G (for the moment) with one chapter so far. Artwork by @tennant-the-tigger.

The bride bit into the shiny red apple as everyone cheered around her, the wedding ceremony ending with this ritual gesture. The clapping and hurrahs soon turned to screams of horror as Snow dropped the apple, choking and clutching her throat as she fell in her groom’s arms, a last I love you leaving her lips before she died, David’s screams the loudest of all.

David and Emma travel to the Underworld to claim back Snow after her untimely death. In order to do so, they're going to have to face the dark and mysterious God of the Underworld and complete his challenges.

Seems simple enough until you add magic, divine quarrels, and the worst thing of all: feelings.

@eastwesthomeisbest posted original artwork, The Love of the Samodiva Pts1 and 2.

In Bulgarian folklore Samodiva is an ethereal female wood nymph. She is unearthly beautiful and eternally young. Her hair is blond and long, her waist is thin and petite, her eyes can bewitch and dazzle or even kill. Any man who lays eyes on her instantly falls in love. Samodivas’ attire consists of long white gowns and shirts and a rainbow-coloured or green belt. They have a white mantel, also called a shadow, in which their power lies. They like to ride deer, using twisted snakes for reins and often carry with them bows and arrows.

If a huntsman accidentally kills a samodiva’s deer, she will make him blind or give him a disease which will inevitably lead to his death.

The wood nymphs live in dark forests, in big old trees, caves or forgotten huts which are near water sources, wells or rivers.

Samodivas can be spotted from spring to autumn. In winter they live in the mythical village Zmeykovo, which is located at the edge of the world and is a home to many mythical creatures. When they are on earth they are active at night and disappear immediately when the sun comes out, because they fear it.

At twilight, the samodivas go to fresh water sources, strip naked, wash themselves and their clothes which they lay out to dry in the moonlight. They keep a watchful eye on their drying clothes, because if a man steals their mantle, where their power lies, they turn into normal women and have to obey the man. After washing themselves and their clothes, the samodivas gather around and start singing and dancing. It is known that the samodiva’s songs are the most beautiful and their dances are the most graceful. If a late traveller sees the samodivas’ dance, he is enticed to join them and dances with them from midnight to dawn. When the sun’s rays appear, the nymphs disappear in haste and leave the traveller to die from exhaustion. The samodivas love music and often kidnap shepherds, so that they can play kaval (shepherd’s pipe) for them while they dance.

Samodivas are not always harmful. Sometimes they appear like normal working women and help with the harvest. They would especially help women with children. If a man does something good for a samodiva, she becomes his patron or a sworn sister. Sometimes, a samodiva can fall in love with a human and bear him children, who grow up to be great heroes.

Samodivas are forest creatures and therefore knowledgeable about herbs and cures. However, they never share their secrets willingly. The only way to obtain their knowledge is to eavesdrop on one of their gatherings.

@courtorderedcake posted two fics for this years event. Hallow rated E with eight chapters so far with accompanying artwork 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11.

"The Goblin King was prepared to host the Darkness, stealing Fae women away to their corrupted lands underneath the ground as concubines. The Darkness chose another in his stead, but not before this selected vessel enacted a devastating attack in its vengeance, revealing its hatred & rage. The battle was a lesson the old kings had forgotten; never underestimate an opponent. Many more lives were lost as they razed over any who dared defy The Goblin King's will. Only the pure love of our rulers united in matrimony, breaking the Vorpal Dagger, sealed the darkness and the Goblin menace away. The light flourished under their fair rule, and the queen bore a child as pure as moon beams, swan feathers, and starlight. They lived happily ever after, and shall be written in history as Heroes for All Time."

This is the history Princess Emma memorizes from the day she is born, paraded about and presented only with the highest protection. The palace is a cage she wishes to escape, desperately. Not careful what wishes she made, Emma discovers history is written by the victors - The Dark One has an entirely different version of the events that took place.

Roses, rated E with two of four chapters so far. Artwork by @eastwesthomeisbest.

A CS retelling of Tam Lin, the classic fairytale. Liberties taken. Magic and Fae BS in play.

@pirateherokillian posted Wanderer Redeemed. Rated T with just the prologue so far. Artwork coming soon from @tennant-the-tigger.

Emma, Goddess of Hope and Happy endings, finds herself in need and her only real chance of ever getting what she desires comes in the form of Killian Jones, a shunned outcast of their kind. A Modern-Day Gods Captain Swan AU written for CSSNS.

@ilovemesomekillianjones posted The Soldier, the Witch, and the Dragon. Rated M one shot with artwork 1 2 by @spartanguard.

When soldier Killian Jones shows up on witch Emma Swan's doorstep, two worlds will collide. He will learn of worlds and wonders he never imagined possible and she will learn that true love might just be in the cards for her. Witches, Dragons and Magic, Oh My! A CS story for the 2019 Captain Swan Supernatural Summer event.

@whimsicallyenchantedrose posted Until the Stars Are All Alight. Rated T with two chapters of twenty so far. Artwork by @clockadile.

CS LOTR au: When Emma Swan steals a yellow Volkswagen Beetle, she has no idea it will lead her toward an adventure filled with danger and intrigue, sacrifice and a love stronger than anything she could imagine. Tasked with bringing the Savior home, the elf, Killian Jones of Misthaven travels to the Land Without Magic. Can he convince Emma to fulfill her destiny before the Dark One regains power and takes over all of the Enchanted Forest?

And last but certainly not least, @teamhook posted Rionnag Dorcha Gorm (Dark Blue Star). Unrated with two chapters so far. Artwork by @hollyethecurious

It is said that evil is not born but made. This is how an act of kindness is twisted into a story about revenge. Emma and Killian are childhood friends until a tragedy separates them will another reunite them.

I’ve read all of these fics and they are all absolutely FANTASTIC!!! It’s been so much fun reading all these wonderful fics and staring at the gorgeous art that went with them!! Be sure to let them know how much you’re enjoying their hard work! The WIP’s will continue updating until they are finished and I will be back at the end of the month with everything that has updated in September! Until then folks!

#cssns #event roundup #cssns2019 #CSSNS 2019 #2019 #Captain Swan Supernatural Summer 2019 #Captain Swan Supernatural Summer #2019 event #2019 roundup #2019 event roundup

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scphronia · 5 years ago

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( LAURA HARRIER, CIS FEMALE ) — ON YOUR KNEES, that’s ( SOPHRONIA TALBOTT )! You really don’t recognize them? They’re ( 23 ), ( ACACIA'S ) BELOVED ( PRINCESS ). Ring a bell? Usually ( SHE ) is/are known to be quite ( + GENEROUS ) and ( - FRIVOLOUS ). But if need be, simply call them the ( FORTUNE'S FAVOURITE ). Now keep your head down, they’re looking this way!

Hello !! I’m Juno, I’m 18+, my timezone is GMT and I am so excited to bring Sophronia here! Feel free to hit me up for plots or like this post and I’ll DM you!

sophronia’s story !

— The story starts before Sophronia is born, with the tyrant king Arthur and his beloved general Gaheris. Gaheris came from a distinguished noble family, well-liked by the people of Acacia, with a reputation for his kindly nature. But when someone from Gaheris’ extended family is accused of treason, Arthur dealt with the traitor’s family harshly, and had no choice but to get rid of Gaheris too. He left behind a daughter, his wife having passed in childbirth.

— With no home and no family, a one-year-old Sophronia is taken in by the royal family of Acacia. She is spoilt and pampered and treated with all the best a one year old could deserve. She grows up under the attention and care of Arthur, surprisingly doting of a father towards her, his wife, her manner of care more from a distance, and Dominic, who soon becomes her beloved brother.

— They call her Fortune’s Favourite, so lucky to be the king’s ward. So lucky to grow up royalty. So lucky to have everything she could ever want and more. And she is, isn’t she? And so she plays the part well, the charming princess, a sheltered rose at court. Bright eyes, bright smile, bright laughter, paired with glittering words, glittering jewellery, glittering palaces. (Where does the act stop and where does the girl start?)

— Still the palace is large and lonely — where can you sleep well in the house of the king who made your father disappear? She finds solace in Dominic, her only refuge, the only one who understands what she’s going through under Arthur’s harsh tutorage. He teaches her swordfighting when she’s too afraid to look for Arthur’s guidance, and she lets him appear weak, for once, in this kingdom where only the strong survive.

— And then Arthur dies, and Dominic becomes king. He lets her indulge in the finer things in life, everything that Arthur wouldn’t let her have. And sure, it’s like she can finally breathe after twenty years of Arthur’s rule, but where does she go from here?

personality !

generous, kind, charming — sophronia is virtually loved by all, the perfect image of poise and elegance, exactly what royalty should be like. she gives her attention (and money) lavishly and lovingly.

frivolous, fanciful, oblivious — she has a tendency to be excessive and carefree in her actions. it’s not that she does this on purpose, but it’s just as likely that you tell her this is how she’s seen as and she would have no idea.

wanted connections !

ONE — A close servant who's served Sophronia for quite some time now. They're familiar with every aspect of the princess's life, being one of her close confidantes, knowing who's in her favour today and who isn't tomorrow, how she truly feels about how she became the king's ward through her father's death, and how thankful she is that she hasn't been forced into a marriage — yet. But they also see her uglier sides — the occasional tendency for petulance and entitlement. They're not exactly sure how they feel about her behind the glittering jewellery and excitable demeanour she exudes at royal parties, but then again, who can really be sure what the real Sophronia is like?

TWO — Every good story has a princess and her white knight. They're not exactly royal, but they've been in love with her for so long now that they're more or less blind to her faults. They'll eat up every scrap of attention she gives them — which is, a lot, but she has this wonderful talent of making you feel like you're the only person in the world. Funnily enough, that's also how she enjoys being treated. But you know — could you ever accuse Sophronia of something as horrible as leading them on? Or does the princess really have feelings for them in return — assuming anything she could ever feel for anyone is real?

THREE — Court gossip travels fast and Sophronia's disdain for them is no different. For a lady who's usually seen as the shining example of courtesy, she somehow can't hold back in their presence, exchanging words with double meanings to express how she really feels. Rumour has it that they used to be friends, but for whatever reason they're now engaged in a never-ending feud, culminating in the form of Sophronia's lavish parties.

#cavalry:intro #it's... so long im so sorry #i have Thoughts about sophronia

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negasonicimagines · 6 years ago

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Pretty Sure

request: from @xsophie-elisex: “Also hi I love your fics! I was wondering wether I could request one? Maybe something along the lines of reader and Ellie are best friends and roommates (lots of vine references!:3) and slowly fall In love but it’s like the little things, eg : she brings flowers into the dorm and brings Ellie her favourite takeout or buys her eyeliner when it runs out. Just really domestic things. Basically pure concentrated fluff xox”

notes: This request is really cute! I tried my best to do it justice, but I’m not all that good at slow burn, I hope that a lot of the “slowly falling in love” was prior to the events of the fic. Check out freerice.com!!!! Feed people by answering simple questions! (The money is made off the ad revenue, I believe, so turn off your AdBlocker on the site!)

warnings: none!

Your room was always a refuge for Ellie. She’s glad you two are finally roommates, so that she never has to leave.

The fresh flowers, the sneaking into the other’s bed when one of you is having a hard time sleeping, the Vine and meme references… It’s the best.

Ellie does her homework, every now and then looking out at the courtyard. You’re picking flowers with Laura and teaching the girl how to make flower crowns. She catches on quickly, which makes Ellie feel a little dumb. You’d tried to teach her, too, but, despite her texting experience, her fingers just weren’t nimble enough.

Ellie looks back down to her poem, regretting deciding to take the poetry elective her school offers. Now, instead of writing whenever and whatever she wants, she has to fulfill prompts. This time, she has to write a poem about what love means to her. But… Ellie just isn’t really a “love” person, pushing away 99% of warm, fuzzy feelings like that. The only person outside of her close family she can confidently say she loves is you, and even that’s platonic… At least, she’s pretty sure it is. Platonic means friends, and you and Ellie are friends. At least, she’s pretty sure you are.

She looks up again after brainstorming a little more, taking notes on her paper. The poem wasn’t due for about a week, but she’d wanted to get it done sooner, so she wouldn’t have to do it later.

You’re no longer visible, at least through the window. Ellie sighs, not quite sure why that’s so disappointing. She looks down to her notebook, trying to think on her poem more.

You enter, jolting her from her thoughts.

“I brought us some more flowers!” you announce sweetly, going on to identify them: “Wild violets, purple deadnettle, and these little blue flowers that the internet keeps trying to tell me are forget-me-nots, but I don’t think they are.”

“Alright.” Ellie decides to scribble something about that down. She loves flowers, not that she’d tell you or anyone else that. They’re good for symbolism, and pretty to boot. You grin, and Ellie thinks: ‘She’s my favorite flower.’ And then: ‘Wait, what the fuck does that even mean?’ She writes it down, anyway, because she’s pretty sure it’ll help her later on.

Ellie’s phone buzzes, and you sit on her bed while she sits at her desk, chair turned to face you.

“Fuck, they’re having burgers again. Piotr texted me.”

“I know. I’ve got a pizza order already set on the Domino’s app. Just gotta wait ‘til we’re hungry,” you inform her with a smile that she’s pretty sure shouldn’t make her heart stop the way it does. Sometimes you’re just so pretty. ‘All the time she’s just so pretty,’ Ellie corrects herself, practically hearing you say “Oh, only sometimes?” You’re like cotton candy, she can’t help but smile.

“Not that I don’t love to see you smile, but it’s just pizza,” you chuckle, smiling back at her warmly. Suddenly flustered, she looks away, smile falling. “Sorry.”

“Uh, no, don’t be, I just suddenly thought about how people can donate to Notre Dame but not Flint, Michigan,” Ellie fibs, but then she really thinks about it, and she’s sure her expression darkens further with anger.

“Right? It’s such bullshit,” you agree. “It’s a fucking building, nobody even died. You hungry? We could eat and go on freerice.com or kissanime or something.”

“Why pirate an anime? I have Netflix and Hulu.”

“Because fuck capitalism, Ellie. Duh,” you explain.

She almost says it without thinking, which makes her realize she’s pretty sure thought it all this time without thinking. ‘I love you so much,’ she realizes. ‘More than anything.’

“Or we could watch cat videos… You still seem a little tense.”

“Cat videos sound nice,” she agrees. “And I could definitely go for some food.”

“Cool, I’ll order.” You do, tapping around on your phone.

“Thanks, how much do I owe you?”

“Shut the fuck up.” You tell her, no malice to your tone at all. “It’s not a pizza just for you, I’m eating it too and I’d be a gluttonous dickbag if I didn’t share.”

“Gluttonous, huh? Maybe I should use that one in my poem,” Ellie teases you, pushing the disgustingly sweet thought of being in love with you out of her mind, deciding to deal with it another day, maybe not even at all. After all, your friendship meant so much to her. She was pretty sure you wouldn’t abandon her for her feelings, but she didn’t want things to be awkward, even for a little while.

“Oh, please,” you scoff. “Isn’t the assignment, like, love or whatever? Though, I guess love can be selfish...”

“No. No deep conversations. My brain already hurts from trying to force words onto the page. Love’s bogus, and-” ‘And I hate the way you looked at me when you said that.’ “And I wanna eat too much pizza and go into a food coma, not examine the intricacies of intimacy with a dork who’s never even been on a date.”

“Hey, neither have you!” You playfully retort. Your phone dings. “Oop, it’s on it’s way.”

“Nice,” Ellie says. Usually silence between you two wasn’t awkward, but this time it is. Like there’s a conversation that’s supposed to be happening but isn’t. Ellie’s pretty sure she hates this feeling. “So, uh, how was your day?”

“Oh, it was good. Is. You?”

“Mine’s alright.”

“Good,” you tell her. The two of you gaze at each other wordlessly for what must have been a long time, because when your phone dings again, it’s to inform you of the pizza’s arrival at the school. You quickly dash downstairs, casting away thoughts of just how beautifully Ellie’s dark eyes glittered in any lighting, and pick up the pizza. You sneak it upstairs, closing your dorm door behind you.

“Fuck, that smells good,” she comments, and you move her notebook and whatnot from the desk to set down the pizza.

“Ooh, who’s she?” You ask, glancing at a page in her open notebook.

“She?” Ellie wonders, already having forgotten what she jotted down about you.

“Flowers are good for symbolism. She’s my favorite flower,” you say in a hyper-feminine tone, teasing her. She’s pretty sure she’s gonna die if she looks at that adorably smirking face of yours any longer.

“Um- Well, um…” She can feel her face getting red, and that embarrasses her even more. “No one, okay?!”

You flinch away from her before stepping back a bit. Scared. She scared you.

“I- I’m sorry. I just… I like someone, okay? And I don’t like people. So, it’s weird and new and I don’t like it, but at the same time I do.”

“Aw, Ellie, why didn’t you tell me?”

“You-” she starts, thinking maybe, just maybe, you weren’t oblivious to her feelings, and that maybe you even shared them but wanted to give her time to figure it out.

“I could’ve given you advice or something! Even if I haven’t been on dates, I had a couple girlfriends in, like, middle school! And I still get crushes! I like someone, too.”

“Really?” Ellie wonders. She’s glad she somehow managed to mask her disappointment. “Then why didn’t you tell me?”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Who’s your crush? Maybe I can help!” You excitedly respond, and while Ellie’s glad that the awkward silence is over, she’s not quite sure she’s ready to play this game of conversational Jenga with you.

“Well, I don’t really have a chance, so there’s no way you can,” Ellie admits, and you pout.

“Come on, El. You’re cute, smart, creative… I’m sure any sapphic sweetheart you’re into that has half a brain wouldn’t pass you up,” You tell her.

“Trust me, she would,” your crush disagrees.

“Well, then I guess she doesn’t have half a brain,” you joke, smiling a little and hoping she doesn’t see the sadness in it. “That, or…” You gasp with a falsey scandalized look in your eye and a mischievous smile on your parted lips. “Does Ellie Phimister have a crush on a straight girl?”

“No, no! She’s not straight, I skipped that phase. I just- I don’t know. I don’t think I’m her type.”

“Why?” You wonder. Maybe through this questioning you could figure out the girl and play matchmaker a little. After all, at least one of you deserved to be happy. Ellie tells you everything, you’re one of the few people she vents to and the only one who lives at Xavier’s. So, if she had a crush on you like the one you had on her, you’re pretty sure she’d totally tell you, even if she thought you wouldn’t like her back, because you’re her safe space.

“I think she likes, or, y’know, at least deserves a nice girl. Or girls. Not sure where she stands on that.”

“You’re plenty nice, don’t be ridiculous,” you argue.

“Well, then, I think she’s into more feminine girls.”

“Ellie, I’m not trying to invalidate you or anything, but you’re not exactly the least feminine person on the planet. Even if this mystery girl is into super feminine girls, I doubt she wouldn’t make an exception for you, you’re still pretty and comfortable being called pretty,” you remind her.

“That’s true, but- But-” She’s running out of reasons for you not to like her. Maybe you do like her, or are at least open to the possibility of liking her? “Well, she- She’s really awesome, and special, okay? I don’t deserve her.”

“I bet she’s great,” you say, suddenly sounding dejected. Had you realized she was talking about you? “But you do deserve to be happy, okay?”

“I’m sorry,” Ellie replies.

“For what?” You wonder, eyebrows furrowed. You’re suddenly looking at her like she’s crazy.

“I- I don’t know. You sounded sad,” Ellie fibs. “I- I thought you figured out who I was talking about.”

“Why would that make me sad?” You ask her, sounding a bit defensive.

“Um, uh… Listen, Y/N, I’m pretty sure things are gonna be awkward for a while after I say this, but I only fully realized it, like, half an hour ago, and it’s already eating me up inside. I’m pretty sure I love you. Like, love-love you. We’ve been friends for ages, so I get if you don’t wanna ruin the friendship, but I’d really appreciate it if you gave me just a chance to be with you. I promise I won’t hold it against you if you’re not interested, but-”

“I didn’t tell you about my crush because you’re my crush,” you blurt, cutting her off. “Sorry, I was trying to wait, but it’s been eating me up inside since we first met, so I think I’m allowed to interrupt you, just this once.”

“More than allowed,” Ellie agrees. “Um… So, uh… What do we do now?”

“I- I guess what we always do? But with kissing and stuff? The pizza’s getting cold, we can discuss the specifics while we eat and if you want that can count as our first date,” You suggest, saying the last part rather quickly, and Ellie nods. “Am I, uh… Am I really your favorite flower? And what does that mean?”

“Flowers, y’know, they’re pretty... Smell nice... Special... Inspiring… Plus, you’re always bringing flowers in, so…” Ellie, a bit embarrassed but finding herself less angry and more flustered now that the truth is out, mumbles.

“I’m pretty sure that’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me,” you tell her, and she smiles softly, the most genuine smile you’ve ever seen her wear.

“I’m pretty sure this is the happiest I’ve ever been,” she responds, echoing your phrasing.

“Well, I’m pretty sure this pizza is delicious,” you continue the pattern, taking a bite.

“And I’m pretty sure I’m still gonna fail that poetry assignment,” Ellie chuckles.

I’m pretty sure this fic is over.

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