#the GOOLDING inquiry

[thekingofspin]

Me defending everything Malcolm Tucker does even though I know its wrong:

[micahdotgov]

i hope people are actually writing trans fics about the doll that died exploring the arctic and not just being horny in the tags of gifsets about her. but then again she was a coloniser so maybe she doesn't deserve it

[idknotgonnapost]

“and mr tucker was compromising the safety of the nation worth the five quid?”

[dollblitz]

“i hope she plays hot to go!”

“... this is the Goolding inquiry.”

[gaylittlebillionaires]

have fun at the goolding inquiry, regenerated malcolm tucker!

[everydaywomble]

I finally finished the Goolding inquiry! Here are my thoughts on everyone's testimonies!

Stewart Pearson: 3/10. This man has never said anything clearly in his entire life and is not about to start.

Fergus Williams: 3/10. Skin flakes???? Who elected this man????

Phil Smith: 2/10. He's being himself. Sadly. Why the fuck would you say that about Mr Tickel.

Emma Messinger: 3/10. Not dreadful conducting herself but again, what the fuck.

Adam Kenyon: 2/10. Same as above but I feel bad for Emma and him having to deal with Phil.

Terri Coverly: 2/10. No.

Nicola Murray: 6/10. She didn't do anything terrible. 50/50 on whether or not I like her hair.

Robyn Murdoch: 10/10. Absolute queen. She speaks nothing but truth.

Ollie Reeder: 3/10. He squirmed! He was like one of those hydraulic press videos! Just fucking crumpled.

Glenn Cullen: 7/10. Hilarious stuff. I'm always one for mocking Ollie a bit and blatantly lying is always funny.

Malcolm Tucker: Initially, 10/10. Funny and I find it very compelling. Goes downhill after his second appearance so it drops to a 5/10. His final appearance was a sight to behold. Did it succeed? Nah, not really. But it was enjoyable enough to bump him up to a 7/10. RIP king 😔

[anteroom-of-death]

Spin in the City, a prolog.

Summary: What happens when the Queen of PR meets the (former) King of Spin?

a/n: I live for me and my brain only. Welcome to it. Yay. Idk. Multipart series. Yay.

Samantha Jones never found herself afraid of rebranding. Of course not. She’d done it at least a few dozen times over the years, companies and celebrities constantly needed a good reworking. Times and tastes changed constantly. To think you couldn’t update your looks and manifestos and statements? Insane.

Although, never for herself.

Alas, here she stood in her new flat in Mayfair, her mother’s home neighborhood, sixty-fucking-three, and fabulous.

And utterly alone.

Carrie shafted her and the rest of her so-called friends followed suit. Even sweet Charlotte had no chance but to fall in line. No amount of calls from Rock begging her on how to come out or apologetic emails from Charlotte could mend the wounds in her heart.

Decades, damn near most of her life, was spent being loyal and holding these women’s best interests against her better judgment. And this is how they all betrayed her? She was their “yes” man and constantly their shoulder to cry on and place to fall after they’d mangled themselves up over another man or some other poor choice.

She thanked whatever deity was out there that an old friend from her master’s program at the University of Westminster reaching out for a nostalgia-fueled chat on Instagram. After a few months, they decided to merge their firms and she would relocate to London.

Her heart felt as cavernous and echoing as the space she had to call her home now.

Well, fuck them!

She had to restart. Rebrand. A new Samantha Jones in the old world…

****

She knew spin better than anyone. Or she thought she did. She also didn’t know if this was some joke.

She’d posted the advertisement for a press secretary only an hour ago.

The email from the recruitment service let off a ping in her inbox.

Some man named Malcolm Tucker was simply falling over that a an opportunity. Why did that name sound hauntingly familiar?

Famous even…

She googled.

Instant regret, yet instant curiosity.

Why would a man branded by every news organization as violent and heinous to the point of jail time for his practices of leaking and corruption be so eagerly awaiting a simple press secretary job? Especially someone at his age?

She looked over his CV. Such a jolt from journalist to low-ranking civil servant to the Director of Communications for the entire fucking British government….

The address was a cute little cottage near the waters in rural Scotland.

What was his plan? And why was she suddenly very keen to hear them? Or at least see him with her own to eyes…

Was the Chief Medical Officer of Spin doing some scheme?

What was he spinning?

She had to have him in her office as soon as possible.

It was sexy, if she thought about it. Someone as high-ranking once as he, scrounging around for the first little job in his field. Disgraced and having to start as far as he was willing to go in dignity to restart. Very sexy. No one, no allies in government, especially these days, no use to use anyone in the journalism world either. All he had left was to crawl into corporate PR and hope for some power to come to him once more.

And here he was, practically on bended knee lapping up the chance to contact to her.

Poor little man.

She almost felt pity for him as she scrolled through the Wikipedia page for the Goolding Inquiry and the subsequent trial of one Mr. Tucker.

She clicked the link to his meager Wikipedia page. It seemed he was a punk rocker in his teens too. The band had only one other famous (or infamous in Malcolm’s case…) was that one late-night talk show host. She’d sent a few clients she represented onto his show a few times in the past. Smith even went on twice!

One sentence caught her eye, ‘after his release, Tucker slipped out of the public eye and his whereabouts remain unknown.’

Unknown until now.

Perhaps, he was just spinning out of control…

Sufficiently intrigued, she arranged the interview.

[sob-dylan]

date night idea: double feature of veep’s “testimony” and the thick of it’s “goolding inquiry”

[innitmarvellous]

[ttoibrainrot]

Terri Coverley slander + Animated Text tweets that I thought were funny

[t-eyla]

coming into ttoi fandom five years after s4 aired makes me feel like a historian trying to learn about some traumatic cultural event through primary sources and survivor interviews

me: dear [survivor’s name], thank you for having me. now, you were steeped in the ‘the thick of it’ fandom long before 2012, weren’t you?

survivor: yes, i came to it back in the days of the specials ... when we still had jamie. he was the first to go, but none of us knew what that meant at the time. there was still nicola, after all; we all loved nicola.

me: nicola murray, a new addition in series three. she was quite popular, wasn’t she? she seemed on quite a good trajectory at the end of the 2009 series. how did you feel about her fate in 2012?

survivor: oh, dear god, it was horrible. just horrible. but it wasn’t the most horrible thing that happened in 2012 ...

me: no. there was also the goolding inquiry, wasn’t there? would you tell me more about that?

survivor: yes--yes. the goolding inquiry. oh god-- *bursts into tears*

me: *hands over a tissue* it’s okay. it’s all right. take all the time you need.

[thekingofspin]

I'm watching the finale of the thick of it for the first time and the goolding inquiry is stressing me out so much bc malcolm is being dragged through the dirt and I know technically he was wrong but he wasn't bc I said so.

he can do no wrong and these people are just mean.

this is like when they made him resign all over again I was devastated.

malcolm tucker deserves the world I love him so much.

[omniishambles]

How Are You Ruined?

Ruined By Fear

You live on the edge of your seat, but it is not a good thing. You’re constantly looking over your shoulder, unsure of what will hurt you next. You have been hurt so much, but you refuse to adapt to your pain. Instead, you avoid what you cannot control. You are so afraid of making a mistake, of being brought closer to your doom. But, despite this, you cannot articulate what you fear. You are just afraid. Only afraid. And you will be afraid until you are brought to what you fear.

Tagged By : @harkcr

Tagging: @vyrulent, @downpaths, @theasteriae, @theresastargirl and @rapxir​

[spockvarietyhour]

The Goolding Inquiry

[space-glasgow]

caledonian husbands (post-goolding inquiry)

[mariacallous]

Malcolm Tucker's Last Words

Malcolm Tucker at the Goolding Inquiry